


Born from Stone

by Ellemphriem



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Brotherly Love, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Family History, Family Secrets, Forbidden Love, Psychological Trauma, Slow Romance, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-03-20 05:40:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 77
Words: 648,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13711035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellemphriem/pseuds/Ellemphriem
Summary: Eilin Firebeard will find herself in Erebor at the end of the battle of the five armies. There she will have to come to terms with how different she really is. She will also meet a legend who will teach her that bard songs just barely scratch the surface of the man the world knows as the hero. That they are not enough to show the grim reality that forged the hero's stony personality.Thorin's eyes were reflective, "Master Baggins the world thinks that dwarves are born from stone and to stone they must return. Shall we let them believe that or tell them the truth? That we love only once and it lasts forever, and do you believe that is a blessing or a curse?"





	1. *In every end there is also a beginning

**Author's Note:**

> A/N:
> 
> \- I am a NON NATIVE English Speaker, so please criticise my errors kindly and I will hear with equal respect every suggestion for improvement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2018 Update: I am re-editing this so if you see an error that drives you mad tell me and I will correct it immediately. I will place an asterisk next to each title of a re-edited chapter.

 

 

* * *

"The eagles are coming…hold on…the eagles…" Bilbo's throat convulsed as the words choked him. He looked down at Thorin's pale mask of death as the eagles soared above the valley. He fell on Thorin's torn armour unable to hold back his tears.

"Get away you fool!" the angry voice of Gandalf made Bilbo glance up shocked. The grey wizard came rushing towards them with his staff raised "Get back, give him some air!" He kneeled next to Thorin with eyes full of trepidation.

"He is dead Gandalf, you are too late…" Bilbo shook his head dejected and his fingers curled protectively around Thorin's ring mail armour that proved so inefficient against Azog's cleaver. Then in an act of desperation he tried to take off the mithril armour that Thorin gifted him with, before the battle. "If he had kept this for himself this wouldn't have happened! It wouldn't have happened!"

"Get a hold of yourself Bilbo Baggins!" Gandalf's harsh voice shook him into silence as the wizard touched Thorin's forehead with his palm and closed his eyes. The blood of the dead King spilled over the edge of the waterfall colouring the robes of Gandalf deep maroon. His comrades created a protective circle around the dead King in cold silence. Balin kneeled heavily, unable to hold onto this burden anymore and his quiet tears were enough to break even the coldest of hearts. Dwalin looked at the pale face of his friend and threw his war axe away with a feral cry of anguish.

As Gandalf's hand gently caressed Thorin's bloody forehead, Bilbo looked at his closed eyes and couldn't understand if the grey wizard was praying for the dead King, or simply mourning. He walked over to Balin and touched his shoulder. The old Dwarf Lord covered Bilbo's hand and gave him a soft nod as his tearstained eyes gazed at him. "It's ok my boy. It will be ok."

"I am so sorry for your loss." Bilbo kneeled next to him.

"It's everyone's loss. Mine, yours, theirs," -he looked diminished above his shoulder- "Dale's, Erebor's and all the seven Dwarven Kingdoms."

"Sustain…you must sustain Durin's son." Gandalf whispered behind a tight jawline and when he opened his eyes they were spewing fire. Ancient magic left his hand silently and rushed through the dead King's body trying to revive his heart. As the minutes rolled by, no one noticed that Thorin's blood under Gandalf's robes begun retreating back to his body slowly.

"Let him rest Gandalf, let us carry him back to Erebor and offer him the burial he deserves," Balin pushed himself up with difficulty and Bilbo helped him. Now that the battle had finished and Thorin was dead, it was as if all strength had abandoned his old body. The fierce warrior that ran to battle next to his King was now suddenly an old Dwarf barely able to stand.

"No! Remain!" Gandalf raised his hand to them and everyone froze. "Remain…for I believe that he is still with us." He whispered mystically with a raised brow.

"What are you talking about? Let him be!" Dwalin roared, finally abandoning all tries to sound civilised.

He walked quite decided towards Gandalf, intending to tear him away from Thorin, when the later opened up his eyes suddenly and took a rugged inhalation. His body convulsed and Gandalf immediately tried to restraint his arms from thrashing about. "Animate you fools!" He barked at everyone, who were looking at Thorin shocked out of their minds.

Bilbo reacted first. He fell knees first next to Thorin and braced his head, mingling his fingers through his bloody locks. "Look at me, Thorin, look at me!" he gritted his teeth against falling apart now that he was needed the most.

"Azog?!…" Thorin's deep voice roared upon the mountain top, a question full of agony.

"He is dead, you killed him. Thorin, keep your eyes on me…no no no…don't look at the sky…me, look at me!" Bilbo turned his head around trying to keep those azure eyes focused, as Gandalf resumed his mystical ways around the King's body once more.

Thorin's face twisted in pain and his mouth uttered a blood curdling cry that resounded amidst the frozen ruins and down at the open valley. "The acorn, remember the acorn? I still have it here" -Bilbo untangled one bloody hand and started digging into his pocket for the damned seed- "see I will find it and show it to you! I will plant it in my garden and then you can come sit under its shade, okay?..." -he brought the acorn seed close to Thorin's face and smiled- "see, here it is! Look at it!" -his mouth broke into a terrified smile. Then his brow darkened and he cupped Thorin's cold face protectively- "Don't close your eyes, please no, no..I can show you more, I'll find more to show you. Don't close your eyes! Gandalf help him!" He bellowed and tears blurred his vision when more blood cascaded down the side of Thorin's pale lips.

"Bilbo try to keep his eyes open, Balin come here!" -The wizard commanded and the Dwarf ran over quickly. His face was a mixture of confusion and dread- "Open up his armour and press hard on the wound! We need to keep him from bleeding to death again…we need to stitch him up, from the inside out as soon as possible!" Gandalf yelled.

"I can do it, keep him alive and I will do it!" Oin run to them and tried to find some space between the Dwarves that had crowded their King.

"We have to take him to Erebor, we cannot stitch him up here!" Balin cried and took hold of Thorin's hand. It felt frozen.

Thorin coughed up more blood and his features distorted from pain. "Thorin, look at me…It's me your favourite burglar. You killed the monster, we've won the war…the valley is secure! Thorin…the eagles came to help us…open up your eyes…open them damn you!" Bilbo's hand slapped the King's bloody cheek, eliciting a howl of pain, but managing to make Thorin's bloodshot eyes fly open.

"I cannot contain the bleeding, we need to move him now!" Balin grumbled, feeling frustration taking over the initial shock.

"Balin keep your hands on the wound and press as tight as you can! Dwalin pick him and run!" Gandalf thundered.

The huge Dwarf was looking at them with parted lips and eyes that couldn't really process what was happening.

Gandalf sprang up urgently and grabbed Dwalin by the lapels. "Pick him up and run you fool! His life is hanging by a bloody thread!"

Dwalin inhaled sharply as the sudden realisation slapped him across the face. He broke through his crowded comrades with enviable ease and placed his arms under the King. With considerable effort he managed to lift the equally tall and wide Dwarf in his arms. His knees buckled for a moment which was enough to make Balin lose his grip on Thorin's gushing wound.

"Don't be so clumsy!" Balin chastised.

"I am trying, give me a break!" Dwalin rebuked angrily.

"Let me help!' Bombur joined Dwalin and lifted part of the weight making it easier for them to carry Thorin down the fort. Balin's hands covered the wound again which splattered blood on his face and white beard.

Bilbo ran next to them as fast as his legs could carry him, trying to keep his palms steady on Thorin's face. "Open your eyes Thorin, come on, that's it. We are taking you to Erebor, you hear me? Nod, if you can hear me." He tried to find Thorin's gaze that was lost somewhere in the pale clouds above.

"Gandalf he is slipping away again!' Bilbo hollered in dread.

The Grey wizard touched Thorin's chest with his staff and the King inhaled sharply, which caused him to get into a coughing fit, sending his already lost mind into a pained fueled madness and a feral cry of anguish tore through his chest. Balin wiped Thorin's blood that washed down his chin and sobbed. "Please laddie stay with us, I beg you!'

"The carriage, put him in the carriage!" Gandalf commanded and passed in front of the company drawing his sword. All the Dwarfs apart from Dwalin, Bombur, Balin and Bilbo ran after the wizard wielding their weapons as they came face to face with platoons of retreating Orcs. As these brave comrades battled through, the ones remaining behind placed Thorin on the carriage and Joined him, creating a protective circle around him. Nori took the reigns and soon they were dashing through the heat of battle, ramming anyone who had the misfortune to be in their way. Axes and swords flew in every direction, cutting down Orcs like weed. When Dwalin lifted up his formidable war axe, many heads got violently detached from bodies, but still his other arm was wrapped tightly around Thorin's chest, keeping him safe. By the time they reached the first lines of the Dwarven army they were all covered in fresh black orc blood. Dain saw the company arriving and raised his humongous hammer. "Protect the King!" He thundered and the first lines created a protective circle around the incoming company.

"Thorin, we are in Erebor's valley. Dain is here…look at him! Please just open your eyes!" -Bilbo prayed next to him. A sudden jerk in the carriage made Thorin's eyes fly open and he howled in pain. His hand clutched Bilbo's arm and crushed it with fingers of steel making the poor hobbit grit his teeth- "I am here Thorin. I am here!'

"What happened to him?!" Dain pushed everyone away demandingly, wishing to see his wounded cousin.

"The head of the beasts slew him, before Thorin managed to kill him!" Balin heaved with his hands trembling upon Thorin's torn stomach.

"We will push the filths back, take him to safety!" -Dain commanded and then turned to his army and roared with a ferocious voice- "Their head is dead, spare no one's life!"

By the time the company came inside the Lonely Mountain, Thorin was drifting in and out of consciousness. They placed him down, where the statues of his forefathers stood guard under the mountain, in the King's Halls. Immediately the golden floor under him got stained by a pool of blood that grew bigger with each rugged breath Thorin's mouth attempted to take.

"Oin, bring over your gear! Hurry up, we have lost too much time!" -Dwalin snapped and kneeled nervously above his friend. He placed his hands over Balin's and pressed hard- "Thorin please look at me! I am here my King, my Captain, my blood! Open your eyes, please!" -His nose flared against the need to sob like a baby as this unfairness was choking him- "We both promised to come back from this quest alive! You promised! You promised!" His voice became almost desperate and he had to force himself not to grab Thorin by the lapels and shake him back to life through violence.

Thorin arms flayed around, bindingly pushing away everyone who tried to touch him. "Bombur, keep his hands away from the wound!" Gandalf barked.

The thick Dwarf positioned himself behind Thorin's head and grabbed his arms, but he was not enough. Thorin pulled free with surprising ease and pushed Balin several feet away. His other hand send Bilbo rolling on his back. He tried to turn into a foetal position and several curses escaped his bloody and trembling lips. Then a growl of pain tore through his throat, that resounded in the tall pillared hall.

Gandalf kneeled next to him and placed his palm gently on the King's head. "He needs to stop fighting. Dwalin, Bombur get one arm each. Bifur, Bofur one leg each. Balin keep the bleeding in control as much as you can. Bilbo bring me a thick cloth!"

Bilbo released Thorin's face with regret and looked around startled, trying to find a piece of cloth to bring Gandalf. Dwalin and Bombur got one arm each and tried to keep him still, but the adrenaline that rushed through Thorin's blood kept his strength monumental even in this weakened state. He was lifting them up and thrashing them about as he desperately tried to break free.

"Use your knees to stop him! Thorin stope!" Dwalin snapped and they both kneeled on Thorin's forearms, keeping him down with their weight despite the fact that his forearm shields tore painfully through the flesh of their knees.

"It's impossible to keep him still!" Bombur cursed and fell on Thorin's bicep with the rest of his body covering his arm completely. Dwalin did the same and that was the only thing that brought results. His legs were even harder to control. Bofur and Bifur couldn't stop him from kicking them off of him. Ori and Dori joined in, so two Dwarfs fell on each leg, thusly managing to immobilize him.

"Come on Bilbo, tear a piece away from your vest!" Gandalf yelled when he saw that the poor hobbit turning around himself unproductively, bewildered out of any logical functions.

Bilbo stopped, looked at Gandalf and then tore his vest quickly.

"Open your mouth Thorin!" -Gandalf said, but his voice couldn't pass through to the King's foggy brain- "We need to have him bite something down or he will swallow his tongue when Oin starts stitching him up. We don't have any anaesthetic. We have to do it with him in full consciousness," the wizard explained to Bilbo, who gave him the cloth, but felt all the blood draining from his face.

"I am going to faint," he muttered and felt his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

"Not now you won't!" Gandalf snapped at him and surprisingly that was enough to ground Bilbo once more.

The Hobbit fell next to Thorin and cupped his frozen cheeks again, feeling his body numb and his heart frozen from terror. "Thorin, we need to stitch you up, please open your mouth. Don't close your eyes again no! Look at me…open your mouth!" Bilbo tried to force Thorin's mouth open as Oin kneeled next to Balin.

"Mahal above spare him…." the old Dwarf prayed when he saw the large diamond needle and mithril thread in Oin's hands.

"If you hurt him I swear I will kill you!" Dwalin warned Oin.

"What did he say?" Oin frowned confused as he could hear virtually nothing without his hearing cone.

"Do it, do it now!" -Gandalf commanded and then turned to Thorin- "Open your mouth you stubborn Dwarf! Open it!"

Thorin closed his eyes and pulled violently away from Bilbo's steady grip. The steady rush of adrenaline and the fact that only the basic functions of his brain worked at that moment, thus protecting him from any further shock, made him act violently towards his friends. He managed to lift Dwalin's whole body off the floor for a brief moment, but it was enough to worry the huge bodyguard. "Help me Gloin!" he called and instantly the red headed dwarf fell above Dwalin. Nori joined Bombur, even though that Dwarf was enough to keep him still by his immense weight alone.

"Thorin please I know you can hear me. Bite down on this cloth, we need to stitch you up...," Bilbo begged feeling at the end of his tether.

Thorin met Bilbo's tearstained eyes with a forlorn look that broke the Hobbit's heart. "Your father Thrain loved you Thorin…" Gandalf spoke quietly above him and touched gently the King's chest. Oin pushed Balin's hands away and threw open his hexagon plated armour, not wanting to waste another second. Under it the blue royal tunic had turned maroon and it's fabric was trapped at the edges of a large diagonal gush that spewed blood with each pained undulation of Thorin's wide chest.

"My father?" Thorin's once deep and commanding voice was now merely a defeated whisper. A wince of pain rippled through his wounded brow.

"He told me that he loved you…The Necromancer killed your father and stole his ring of power. His plan was to end the line of Durin and you must not allow him that. You must live and sustain. Live son of Thrain. Bite down on this cloth and let Oin stitch you up..." Gandalf's voice covered the long hallways and echoed heavy with the history that burdened Thorin's shoulders.

"Do it…look into my eyes, and do it..." -Bilbo pulled the King's head and met his pained eyes- "You avenged your family, you killed the defiler. Now help yourself, bite down on this."

"Come on!" Oin called with the needle trapped between his bloody fingers.

"Do it laddie…please" -Balin's hushed voice begged and tears covered his face. Thorin turned his eyes to his old friend and tears run down his blood crusted cheeks. He opened his mouth slowly and Bilbo pushed his torn coat quickly between Thorin's teeth, making sure his tongue was captured securely under the material.

"Don't let go of the cloth! Press it down hard!" Gandalf warned Bilbo.

"In the name of Mahal if I hear Thorin scream one time, I'll stitch up your mouth when this is all over!" Dwalin warned Oin.

"Is that baboon cursing me?" the almost deaf Dwarf asked.

Gandalf waved his hands dismissively and motioned him to continue. "Shut up all of you! Oin continue!" He commanded.

Oin turned his attention to the patient and without any warning opened up the wound until he revealed the internal organs that were injured. Balin averted his eyes and grasped Thorin's collar protectively as the King's anguished cry resounded loud enough to be heard outside in the midst of the battlefield. Dwalin's curses were loud enough to overshadow Thorin's cry and nasty enough to make young Óri blush.

Oin begun stitching up the lower part of Thorin's mangled lung and the left side of his liver whilst Gandalf kept his staff above the wound containing the blood to a minimum. "Keep his tongue secure!" Gandalf broke his mantra to glower at Bilbo who nodded and sweating profusely he tightened his grip on their cloth.

"I am going to kill everyone who hurt you, I swear I will..." Dwalin muttered broken, as Thorin's scream tore through the domes of his ancient Kingdom. Oin blessed with his loss of hearing was stitching up part of the stomach with enviable emotional detachment.

"It's ok, look at me, look at me!" Bilbo pulled Thorin's head in his direction by the cloth. It felt as if he was pulling a wild horse by the bridle. Thorin's wild eyes were glazed with pain and they were looking past Bilbo at something invisible. "Oin is finishing, you are doing an amazing job. Thorin, look at me…" Bilbo tried a smile that ended up in more tears. As Oin's hands finished stitching his stomach another try to be free ended in failure.

"Ori, sit on his bloody leg, he is going to lift both of you up!" Dwalin scolded and the young Dwarf pinned down the King's leg with sweaty determination.

Oin having finished with the internal organs begun stitching up the muscles from the inside out. Each time the needle passed through tissue, Thorin's cries echoed in the golden chamber and each time they lost a small part of their vitality and strength. The carnal cries of agony, turned into frustrated groans and then to mere defeated sobs. By the time Oin began stitching the skin outside Thorin was so exhausted from the continuous torture that he was merely flinching. "I think the bleeding stopped Mister Gandalf." Oin said and wiped his forehead, leaving a red trail of blood on his hair and skin.

"I think so too…although we are far from over yet. Carry the King to his chambers. He needs to rest." Gandalf ordered and stood up.

"Where are you going?!" Bilbo gazed up confused and relaxed his grip on the cloth.

"I need to see some people if he is to survive this, Bilbo Baggins. I cannot heal him from this moment on. Higher skills are needed." Gandalf rejoined solemnly.

"Who are you going to see?"

"The Elves." Gandalf replied flatly.

"Oh now, You are not bringing any Elves in these halls!" Dwalin hollered and released Thorin's arm.

The King brought his arm down with a faded moan of pain and tried to cover his torn stomach. Balin took hold firm hold of his forearm and removed the cloth from his mouth. Thorin's face was streaked with blood, sweat and tears and his eyes were glassy. He tried to focus on his friend, but a pained sob left his chest and more tears run down his cheeks creating smudgy rivulets on his face.

"You will be okay laddie, we are all here with you. It's over, we will not give you anymore pain, I swear on my word of honor!" Balin caressed Thorin's bloody hair.

"Let me go," Thorin's words sounded more like an exhalation, but they were enough for Balin to understand. In them he heard a prayer to the heavens and not to the people around him. A wish to return to the dead, not to be released from his temporary bondage.

"Release him," Balin ordered with trembling hands.

The moment he was free Thorin twisted sideways and came into a foetal position unable to stop the heart retching whimpers that broke free from his quivering lips. He wrapped both arms around his stomach and brought his knees up to his chest trying in some manner to contain the brain melting pain. His body began shaking uncontrollably from the extensive blood loss.

"I am here laddie, you are not alone..." Balin said affectionately and pushed Thorin's sweaty locks away from his forehead. Thorin squeezed his eyes tight unable to stop his body from shaking like a leaf. Balin found his cold hand between the folds of his clothes and held on it tightly, wanting to make his friend feel something else apart from pain.

"You cannot leave him like this now. Whilst you are gone he might die!" Bilbo exclaimed showing back at the twisted body of Thorin upon the golden floor.

"If I don't go, he will most certainly die, because his wound will get infected soon. Now will you let me go to the Elves Master Baggins?" The grey wizard's voice was laced with warning.

"Didn't you hear what I said about Elves and Erebor master Wizard? You shall not bring them here! Our King would have forbidden it!" Dwalin came up to him grimly.

"The Elves are the only ones who can save him master Dwarf!" Gandalf raised his brow quietly.

Dwalin got ready to answer, but Balin stopped him. "Brother…please this is not a time for us to be torn in two." -he trailed off. He was still kneeling by Thorin's side caressing the sweaty temple with tenderness- "We need to be united…let the grey wizard go."

Dwalin crossed his arms defensively.

"…he hasn't let us down yet. Give him a chance to save Thorin…Dwalin, please." Balin looked at his brother beseechingly.

"Take your King to his chambers and tend to his needs. Some of you go help Dain. I shall return in two days time. May Mahal protect Thorin and you, till then." Gandalf said firmly and before anyone could engage him with any new arguments he walked out into the battlefield.

Bilbo ran after him, but stopped at the entrance. "What if you don't come back in two days?" he cried.

"Then pray Dain proves to be as strong a King as Thorin!" Gandalf rejoined without turning around.

Bilbo paled and covered his mouth.

"Did he just say that in two days Thorin will die?" Dwalin roared next to the Hobbit.

Bilbo looked up to the terrifying Dwarf, not knowing what to answer to that.

"Come on laddie, we have to move you." Balin caressed Thorin's trembling hand. The King was barely responsive, but he was breathing steadily and the bleeding had stopped.

"He fainted?" Dwalin kneeled next to Balin.

Balin nodded. "Vala Aulë had mercy on him. Lift him up with care."

Dwalin pulled him up and Bombur came quickly to his assistance. Thorin was completely unconscious throughout the endeavor of moving him up the stairs, which didn't make things easy on them. His dead weight was even worse than when they brought him down from Ravenhill. When they entered the royal chambers Bofur and Bifur changed the covers that were full of cobwebs quickly and messily. Then Dwalin and Bombur laid Thorin on the king sized bed.

"We need to get him out of his armour and clothes. I need a clean tunic, can you find me one son?" Balin said to Ori.

"Of course mister Balin." The young Dwarf went to the closet and begun shuffling through the clothes that hang there, abandoned by Thorin's grandfather when Smaug attacked their Kingdom.

"Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Gloin, Dori, and Nori you go out and search for the remains of Fili and Kili. We cannot leave them at Ravenhill." Balin said heavily.

The me hesitated for several moments before leaving the room with many looks of worry towards the bed.

"Dwalin you should go help Dain." Balin turned to his brother.

"I am not leaving him!" Dwalin crossed his arms and pinned down his brother with a ferocious glare.

Balin sighed. "Very well, you and Bilbo help me get his clothes off then."

"That I can do." Dwalin said and rounded the bed.

"Can you hear me laddie?" Balin caressed Thorin's cheek with great care.

He remained totally unresponsive.

Bilbo lowered his head and listened at Thorin's heart. His steady breathing made him sigh in relief. "Contradictory as it sounds, I think he is actually asleep."

"He lost too much blood and I dare say this casual stitching will soon get infected as Gandalf foresaw. He will be riddled with fever by the end of the day, I fear." Balin's voice fell as he took off Thorin's hexagonal plated vest when Dwalin lifted his upper body off the bed.

"I stitched him up with diamond needles and mithril. They are not carrying any microbes, Balin." Oin said and adjusted his hearing cone better in order to understand what they were all blubbering about.

"Nevertheless the environment does. Look at this room and don't make me remind you that we stitched him up at a debris littered floor, with dirty hands full of Orc's blood!" Balin rebuked and took off Thorin's torn tunic.

Oin paled when he gazed at his stained hands that were full of mud, rust and blood.

"Don't look at him like that, we didn't have a choice. We had to stop his bleeding brother!" Balin chastised Dwalin whose eyes were spewing fire towards Óin.

"I need to clean him with my ointment before we dress his wound. " Oin went quickly to his bag oblivious of the deadly glares that the huge bodyguard was gifting him with.

"Do your job my friend, we won't bother you." -Balin's head dropped in resignation and he looked in dismay at the large angry scar under Thorin's chest for several minutes before managing to speak again- "I am afraid this has all been in vain. He won't be able to battle off any kind of fever. He is too exhausted from all this loss of blood."

"We must tell Dain to keep the army's spirits uplifted. We don't tell them that their King's life is hanging by a thread until we have news from Gandalf." Dwalin warned.

"I hear you" -Balin agreed- "I hope the boys will be able to recover the bodies of Fili and Kili. I am afraid if this wound doesn't kill Thorin the realisation that his nephews are both dead, will."

Oin took over cleaning the wound carefully. Dwalin approached and begun unclasping the shields from Thorin's forearms with care. "I don't trust Dain. He didn't offer his assistance when we first set out for this quest. He only came when he knew that Thorin had reclaimed the mountain. Maybe all this could have been avoided if he had been with us since the start." He grumbled.

"You are grasping on straws." Balin looked at him sadly.

"I am grasping on anything that can get me out of this nightmare." Dwalin spat with blazing eyes.

Balin closed his eyes. "If he dies brother, we have to accept Dain as our King."

Dwalin paled and glowered at his brother.

"There, it's as clean as I can get it." Oin observed his work smugly.

"Looks good. Now help me dress him with a clean tunic." Balin said.

When they were done, a deadly silence fell in the room as their grave faces studied Thorin's pale countenance and their fingers counted every breath as if it was going to be his last.

"Someone has to clean up his face. You can barely see him for all the blood and soot." -Bilbo's voice interrupted their quiet mantra. He flicked his shoulder feeling uneasy- "Besides we haven't cleaned his brow wound. That must be painful also, right?" he sounded so desperate that Balin's heart bled.

Balin closed his eyes. "Do as you please my friend. Nothing will change the graveness of his situation, but if it makes you feel better..." He flicked his shoulders.

Bilbo's face fell and his shoulders deflated. "I sound stupid, you are right."

"I need to go out and search for several herbs in order to brew some medication for him. Bloody taste is foul, but it might help him out when the fever hits." Oin muttered under his breath.

"You'll need someone to back you up. Dwalin will you help him?" Balin suggested.

"He made Thorin squeal like a pig and I am keeping myself with difficulty from beheading him!" Dwalin hurled back.

"Oh! Enough you insolent youth! I tried to save him, not hurt him!" Oin threw his hearing cone down and looked angrily at Dwalin.

"I'll show you insolent youth..." Dwalin took the first step to come up to his face, but Balin's roar stopped them.

"You both stop! It's inexcusable to fight right now! Let the poor lad rest." Balin's eyes welled with tears.

"Your threats don't bother me especially when I cannot hear them! I am going alone to get the herbs I need!" Oin humphed and with one last worried look towards his unconscious King he marched out of the room. As he passed the door he picked up Dwalin's war axe and dropped it on his shoulder.

Dwalin stirred angrily. "Did he just take my axe?"

Balin wiped his eyes and shook his head. "Have mercy on me brother...please."

Dwalin averted his eyes and crossed his arms.

Balin covered Thorin's hand tenderly. "We both know him since we were children, let us respect his anguish now brother. Lad was always very strong, but also very stubborn. I never doubted that we would manage to reclaim what once was ours under his command."

Dwalin lowered his head and crossed his arms.

"He won over the gold sickness despite the fact that his forefathers failed. In the end he pulled through for us…So please all of you shut up and let us pull through for him as one, now that he needs us the most." Balin squeezed his eyes tight.

"You are so right." Bilbo whispered.

Dwalin looked up and his eyes were haunted.

"Dwalin, don't rock the boat. He needs us all united. It is what he would have wanted." Balin pleaded.

"You claim he was stronger than his forefathers. Yes, but he wasn't stronger than sharp steel!" Dwalin's heavy voice echoed in the chamber foreboding.

Balin looked up lost.

"I knew that pale filth would finally get him and I was unable to do anything! I saw every single detail of that accursed fight and I still couldn't reach him on time. Why did I ever let him get away from me? Why!?" Dwalin cupped his forehead forcefully as if wanting to punish himself.

"It was not your fault brother. Thorin would have gone after the Defiler no matter what any of us did." -Balin frowned and his words came out with great difficulty- "You have appointed yourself his bodyguard early in your childhood, even though no one asked you to do it."

Dwalin's pained face closed up tight.

"You were always next to him, protecting him even since then. Still, you cannot hold yourself accountable for whatever happens to him. He is our King and makes his own decisions. Such is their importance, that we should accept them as inevitable."

"He sacrificed his life to kill that beast and it's death was the beginning of the end for this war. He turned the odds on our side with what he did." Ori's timid voice made all of them look up to him.

"Why do you talk as if he is dead? He is still alive, don't you see?" Bilbo muttered tilting his head confused.

"If he is to suffer in this manner, maybe it's better that he would rest." Dwalin rejoined with an empty voice.

"Don't speak like that! You heard what Gandalf said. The line of Durin must sustain." Balin's eyes fell heavy on Dwalin.

"I don't ever want to see Thorin suffer in this manner again. Just in order to fulfil the plans of a crazy wizard or the expectations of his dead family Balin and you know very well what I am saying!" Dwalin threw back mercilessly.

Balin blanched.

"Shouldn't this be about him surviving? Plain and simple?" Bilbo frowned.

"He was dead! He was resting and we woke him up! We forced him back to life! And for what? To hear him scream like a lamb on slaughter!" Dwalin roared and kicked the stone floor. The metal protection of his boots echoed in the abandoned hallways.

"Dwalin, he is alive!" Balin snapped and tightened his grip on the King's forearm.

"Just barely and he might not make it in the end anyway. It's better to burn out than to fade away! If Thorin had a choice which do you think he'd choose? To die in battle sword in hand or on some bed riddled with fever from a deadly wound?" Dwalin's eyes were hard and relentless, but Bilbo could feel the emotion that was choking the King's best friend.

Balin didn't want to answer. He lowered his eyes on Thorin's resting face and exhaled defeated. "He won't die." He muttered after a long heavy moment.

Bilbo nodded. "I agree. You won't die will you?" -he murmured at Thorin- "I'd like you to come down to my house again. We might enjoy a pipe of old Toby in my bench one day, right? Maybe see my acorn tree growing." His eyes burned him again and he cleaned his nose with the back of his hand.

Dwalin was not as empathetic. Apparently his anger had to be vented somewhere. "He is King under the Mountain! He is King of the seven Dwarven Kingdoms! Do you think he'll have the time to smoke an old Toby with you in Bagshot Row?"

"Happiness comes from the simplest things in life, brother" -Balin spoke quietly and caressed Thorin's hand- "You come back to us laddie and if it pleases you to smoke old Toby next to Master Baggins, rest assured that all the Seven Kingdoms will accompany you to Hobbiton to get your wish." The old Dwarf feeling emotionally overburdened covered his face with his palm and begun crying softly under it.

Bilbo shuddered in apprehension. Seeing Thorin like this, he too felt momentarily uncertain if Gandalf had done the right thing by bringing him back. Maybe Dwalin was right.

It's better to burn out, than to fade away...

Those words kept playing in his mind like a broken record as he, along with everyone else remained a silent sentinel above a sleeping King who was riddled with nightmares of the past.

* * *

 


	2. *Sleeping Sun

 

* * *

"Kili will you shoot that bloody arrow! The deer is going to escape!" Fili whispered angrily.

"Don't tell me what to do…" Kili felt his small hands trembling almost uncontrollably. The need to save that poor creature was too strong, but the demanding eyes of his uncle lingered heavy on his back.

"It-is-going-to-get-away..." -Fili hissed- "...look how it's ears are perking up. Your foot is grinding the leaves way too loudly!" With that, Fili's foot kicked Kili's and the boy fell on his face causing a racket which send the deer over the hill with a majestic canter.

"See! I told you he wasn't going to make it! He send the deer away!" Fili crossed his arms and looked proudly at uncle Thorin.

"And now you are stranded without food for the rest of the day, for you cannot linger long in one place to hunt when you are travelling in the wild." Thorin's deep voice coloured the air.

"It's his fault," Fili flicked his shoulders.

Kili stood up and cleaned his tunic from the leaves that autumn had managed to tear away from the trees. "He kicked my foot right from under me uncle, didn't you see?"

Thorin raised his brow.

"Did no such thing you little liar!" Fili gritted his teeth and his small hands became tight fists.

Thorin sighed patiently and rested on his heels. "During autumn and spring going one day or more without food will be possible, as your body doesn't need to sustain through harsh conditions, but that would end up in a catastrophe during winter. Especially if you become stranded in a snowstorm." His hand touched the ground gently and his own ears perked up for any sounds around them. Maybe they still had a chance to catch up with that deer.

"I would have killed it. I had it right in the middle of my aim!" Kili poked Fili's chest angrily.

"Are you poking me you little troll?" Fili's nostrils flared.

"You called me a liar when all the while it was your fault the deer escaped. I will poke your eyes out of your face if you don't admit it, right now!" Kili retorted.

Thorin pursed his lips and looked sideways at the boys. "Also arguing so loud in the wild makes a very good target out of you. He resumed in a calm and low voice.

Of course the boys' didn't listen to him, enveloped as they were in their battle for superiority. "I will admit nothing! It was you that hesitated to shoot it when it was time!" Fili growled.

"You pulled my leg right from under me!" Kili took a handful of rotten leaves and rubbed them on Fili's face. That was the last straw as they embraced in an adrenaline filled battle that send them rolling all over the wet forest bed with painful growls of anger.

Thorin towered over them patiently. On seeing their fight not abiding, but becoming even more intense he decided to intervene, but rather unconventionally. He leaned over and picked up a rather heavy stone in each hand. Then he weighed the stones for several moments before targeting his nephews.

"Ouch!" Fili grabbed the back of his head that gushed blood and looked at his uncle who then threw the next stone on Kili catching him right at the forehead and sending him rolling on his back with a roar of pain.

"Uncle!" Fili looked up dolefully.

"And now you are both dead from Orc's arrows, since you managed to draw close every black blooded demon within a ten mile radius." His eyes were deadpan.

Fili exhaled and stood up.

"Help your brother up, for he is your only help when you are surrounded by so many enemies," Thorin's solemn voice made Fili look guiltily at Kili that had blood running over his eyes.

Fili extended his hand and Kili's lips turned down.

"You take your brother's hand for no one will help you up but him." Thorin thrust his chin up with enviable coldness at the blood stained faces of his nephews. A misfortune that he had caused to them.

Kili grasped Fili's hand and got pulled up. They both stood crestfallen in front of their uncle, barely able to look him in the eyes.

Thorin raised up his finger, but his voice continued to be collected. "Let's count failures today. First Kili you hesitated to kill your game, second Fili you tripped your brother rendering his already hard decision, impossible. Third instead of cooperating to find your game again before the sun falls and you freeze to death with no fire or food, you turn at each other's throats. Fourth, you fight like screeching banshees and you make every enemy locate your position. Fifth, you end up…dead." His head tilted slightly as he glowered down at the bloody boys.

Fili was the first one to speak. "We are sorry uncle."

"Yes we are sorry!" Kili said and wiped away the blood that was covering his eyes.

"Being sorry won't save your lives when you are out here without me" -Thorin's face darkened for a brief second- "remember that you have each other's backs. Stop getting on each other's throat, because no one else will support you. If you end up fighting each other you will end up dead out in the wilderness."

"Did you fight a lot with uncle Frerin?" Fili's eyes toyed with a faint glimmer of hope that he wasn't the only one hating his brother on occasion.

A small hairpin appeared at the side of Thorin's mouth, half hidden under his black beard. "I couldn't stop fighting with him and also with my sister, but when the time came to be with them in the wild I knew we had each other's backs. Something that you need to learn."

Fili nodded and cast his eyes down. "I shouldn't have tripped Kili."

"You shouldn't have and the apology goes to him, not me." Thorin pointed out gently.

Fili turned at his brother embarrassed. "Forgive me little troll?"

Kili nodded eagerly and wiped away the blood again. "Yeah."

Thorin sighed and raised his brow dreamily. "Are you ok?" He asked his older nephew.

Fili touched the back of his head and brought forth a bloody palm. "Hurts a bit, but I will survive."

Thorin huffed, "you'd better" -then he turned at Kili- "how about you son?"

Kili shook his head bravely. "Doesn't hurt at all uncle."

Thorin's mouth toyed another ghostly smile and then he looked up at the hill. "Come on then, let's find you game again."

Kili looked up almost terrified, but came over as Thorin beckoned him closer.

"You look apprehensive." Thorin frowned at him.

"I don't want to kill the poor deer. What had it ever done to us?" Kili sniffled.

Thorin's mouth twitched and he wiped Kili's forehead with the sleeve of his tunic. He then pressed on the gush to stop the bleeding, "I can understand your hesitation. It's never easy to take a life and the animal did nothing to you. It's just food for us...a matter of survival."

Fili looked up quickly at that.

Thorin looked at him while Kili curled into his embrace. "Don't look at your brother like that. Was it is for you the first time to take a life?" He asked his older nephew.

"No it wasn't." Fili admitted defeated.

"Neither was it for me," Thorin rejoined and looked testily at Kili's forehead that had become purple and puffed up.

Kili looked up sharply at that. "It wasn't easy for you either?" He was unable to believe that his giant uncle had once been as hesitant about killing a deer as he had been today.

Thorin shook his head and looked down at Kili that had tucked himself in his arms comfortably. "No."

"When did it become easier?" Fili asked with wide eyes and a voice full of eagerness.

Thorin looked up thoughtfully. "Never."

Fili frowned and Kili looked up from his arms.

Thorin continued quietly. "It never becomes easy to take a life, but sometimes it will be you or them." Those words floated in the air around them foreboding while Thorin tended on Fili's wound with equal tenderness. Then they followed their experienced uncle in the hunt for the deer again, until they managed to catch up with it. In the end Kili managed to kill it with the huge hands of Thorin steadying his bow and his heart. When they returned at Ered Luin late at night their mother was waiting by the entrance anxiously.

When she saw her boys carrying the dead deer with the help of Thorin she ran down the steps and frowned. "You are late!"

"We managed to kill our game, mom! Look we can go down to the kitchens and gut it so we can cook it!" Fili said happily and Kili clapped his small hands.

"I will give it to Aira tomorrow and she can cook it for our lunch. Now go back to your rooms and I will come in a moment to help you clean up all that blood." She said and caressed their dirty faces and hair with a gentleness that always touched Thorin's heart. When they were out of sight she turned to her formidable brother.

"What the hell happened to their heads?" She frowned irritated.

"Just a small lesson from me, with love." He smirked.

She pressed her lips and punched his shoulder. "Don't kill them before they come of age, alright?"

"My job is to help them stay alive." His eyes fixed at the boys who were running up the corridors to their lair.

"I know and I will never stop thanking you for everything you have been doing for us, wolf." Dis's hands wrapped around his waist and she rested her head at his chest.

For everything he had been doing for them? What had he done for them in the end? Now Kili was dead and Fili was also…

"Alive, can you hear me Thorin? Fili was found alive at Ravenhill!" The soft voice he recognised as Balin's was speaking close to his ear.

Dead, his boys were both dead. He wanted to open his eyes, but his body refused him and he was cold...so cold.

"Dead…" he whispered and tried to understand if that was his voice in reality or inside a world of dreams. Was he back at the forest surrounding Eren Luin with his nephews alive and unharmed?

"No, Fili is alive. They brought him to the next room and Oin has stitched up the boy's back. The knife got lodged in his spine. It didn't go through any internal organs." Balin's voice try to pass through to a mind that was not there anymore.

"Dead…" Thorin repeated and his fingers grazed what felt like soft fabric. Where was he?

"Fili is still alive!" Balin's voice roared next to his ear then, making his body tighten painfully.

Alive?….

"Alive?" He whispered at the dark unknown around him, having only Balin's voice to hold onto.

"Not just alive, we can barely contain him in bed. He wants to come see you," Balin sounded more emotional than Thorin had ever heard him and wasn't it truly sad that he was unable to witness that with his own eyes?

"The stone didn't kill him?" Thorin's brow wrinkled.

Balin frowned and looked up troubled, at his brother who shook his head. Then Balin looked back down at Thorin's pale mask of death and his eyes lingered on the red angrily gaping wound on his forehead. "Which stone laddie?"

The stone that broke his head open, that is what his mind was telling him to answer, but he knew it was lying. Fili didn't fall from that stone. He fell from a knife buried in his back and he was there to see the life leaving his eyes as that pale filth destroyed his beloved nephew. He was cursed to be there in order to see Fili dying.

He groaned and tried to move his head, but it was too heavy. He couldn't move anything only his mouth barely and his fingers. That cold blanket that covered his body was making him shake so bad and everything on him felt stiff and unused. "Alive?"

Balin nodded, but Thorin couldn't see him. "Fili is alive!"

A small ripple of confusion rippled through Thorin's brow. "Kili?"

The silence around him felt more terrifying than the coldness that was pulling him down a dark corridor that had no exits. He searched with his fingers and found skin. Was it Balin's hand? He grabbed it as hard as he could and repeated forcefully. "Kili?"

Then it was Dwalin's broken voice that came from the other side. "He is dead..."

Dread drenched his heart. He wanted to scream his monumental objection to the skies, but the only thing that came out was a defeated exhalation that hid inside it all the pain that he couldn't express at that moment. He felt tears trying to climb up his throat, but his body was unable to release them. Instead he shuddered heavily and got covered with thousands of frozen fingers that were prickling his skin and making his teeth clatter. "Take care of Fili, please." He barely managed to whisper.

The hand that he held, pressed him back firmly. "You will take care of him, you hear? You are going nowhere. Come back to take care of your nephew!"

Thorin felt his lips upturning in a ghostly smile, but that could have been only in his imagination. Come back to where? He was not coming back anymore. He was away. Already away, back in the Blue Mountains when Thrain was still around to lead his people and had not been yet overtaken by his need to search for gold. He could see Kilskjald still alive, taking care of his sons and Dis. He had returned to the times when hope was still there for his family, even though for him it was always a dim light at the end of a long tunnel. "Take care of my boy." He pressed the warm hand, almost crushing it's bones with his frozen fingers.

Another hard voice almost commanding came to remind him that he was not away yet. He had not been spared, neither allowed to rest. "You come back to take over your kingdom Uzbâd. I didn't come all the way from the Iron Hills to bury you." Nevertheless Thorin couldn't hear anything anymore as he was falling deeper and deeper into silence and that cold that was wrapping him so lovingly ...that felt terrifying.

"He is out again," Dwalin closed his eyes in desolation.

"He is feverish," Balin shook his head grimly.

"Already?" Dain asked and took off his helmet.

Balin nodded.

"I shall send Roac to the Iron Hills. His sister must be informed," Dain looked gravely at the trembling body of the King.

Balin looked up startled at those news. "Dis is there?"

Dain lowered his eyes. "She wanted to be close to her family. She didn't want to remain back at the Blue mountains."

Balin exhaled in resignation. "Then send for her immediately then. I don't know how long he has left to live."

"Your beauty my lady is legendary" Kárunn said as she brushed the raven hair of the Princess, that were laying long below her waist.

The second lady in honour snickered gently under her hand. "As is the beauty of her brother, the King."

"Valdís, be careful." Dis raised her black arrow brow with austerity.

"But why my Lady? The beauty of the Longbeards is well spread far and wide throughout the Dwarven Kingdoms. I speak of nothing new." Valdís replied carefully.

"Still your insolent little mouth bothers me. My brother is in the midst of a heated battle, endangering his life in order to reclaim our homeland. I do not wish to discuss his physical appearance with a couple of heated Dwarrowdams." Dis pursed her lips, looking rather irritated.

"I am simply entrusting the opinion of many to you, my Lady, hoping you will not make a fool out of me to the King. Nevertheless you are right, I was insolent. I should weave praises to the King's valiant nature, not his physical appearance. I am sorry I troubled you so." Valdís blushed and looked at her boots.

"Now you speak more prudently although I assure you I am used to the female attention my brother always gets so I was not troubled by it, merely irritated." Dis dismissed her and showed her hair to Kárunn "Make my braids," she ordered.

"I cannot speak highly enough of the courageous endeavour our mighty King had undertaken in Erebor my Lady and I wish he will succeed from the bottom of my heart. Nevertheless I will admit that it is a lifelong dream of mine to meet your imposing brother." Valdís fixed Dis' collar.

Dis raised her brow again and touched her soft black sideburns that reached just above the tilt of her mouth. "You are not the only dame with such a request. Take your place in the queue."

"I know I have no chance my Lady, thus I speak from a place of safety. Your majesty would never allow the King to approach such a lowly Dwarrowdam as me." Valdís smiled and caressed Dis' smooth hair.

"He never asks for my opinion in such matters." -Dis flicked her shoulder- "but don't get your hopes up dear Valdís. My brother never cared about marriage nor family."

"Alas, I know…me along with many others." Valdís fanned her throat, making her blonde sideburns ripple.

"Dear Mahal…shut it! The Lady told you she is not in the mood to discuss her mighty brother in this manner!" Kárunn whispered and lowered her eyes feeling embarrassed.

"Eilin, bring my boots." Dis ignored the sisters and turned to the third girl in the room who was standing way back into the shadows.

Upon that command, the girl animated and run with the boots in her hands to help the Princess who continued bashing her Ladies in waiting.

"As for my brother I need not hear anymore about your hormonal explosions. Share that with your friends on drunken nights or else try your ways with him when you meet him. Although I will warn you against such a folly. He is already one hundred and ninety six years old and no woman has ever managed to get to him." Dis raised her brows truly disinterested in either Valdís' need to get the King in bed or Thorin's denial to mess with any female. It was not her place to deal with that. It was also not her place to gossip about it, even though she had tried to hook him up with several noble women along the way. Finally it was not her place to play middle woman for Valdís. Dis looked at the bashful blonde Dwarrowdam. No she wouldn't play middle woman, despite the fact that Valdis had a fresh, sexy disposition and a beautiful countenance. No matter that she was also the youngest daughter of the second cousin of Dain Ironfoot and thus connected to the direct line of Durin.

Still it was not Dis' place to hook up her broody old brother with any woman. She looked down at Eilin who was putting on her heavy fur boots. "Try to tie down the leather straps harder girl." She said.

The petit redheaded maiden nodded silently and did as she was told as she didn't want to ruffle anyone's feathers today, not even by mistake.

From the moment Dis arrived at the Iron Hills, the youngest daughter of Fain Ironfoot and her sister were placed under her service as ladies in waiting. Dis understood this was done solely for the opportunity of catching Thorin's eye when they arrived at Erebor after the battle was over. The Ironfoots were desperately trying to bond their two lines and she couldn't blame them. They could do that only through Thorin or her sons and the second option was a no go from her. Something she made sure they understood from day one. She didn't intend to marry either of her sons so early on. They were two young adults who had their whole lives in front of them in order to experience things. It was not their time to be tied down through a marriage, even if it was to Dain's noble family.

"I cannot understand my Lady why you have taken this abomination in your service," Kárunn said and looked towards the red headed girl. She drew Dis out of her deep contemplations.

"Because her countenance and her manners please me." Dis looked at the maiden calmly.

"My father was deliberating on sending her back to the Dunlands as a service girl just as you decided to take her in your service. I'd say she was quite lucky!" Valdís added with much less distaste than her sister.

"Thank Mahal I came along just in time then," Dis caressed the long braid that Kárunn was making for her.

"It is unheard of royalty to take in bastards." Kárunn spat.

Dis observed the ashen haired older daughter of Fain. Less pretty than her sister Valdís, she had a pale face, gaunt characteristics and seemed bitter and choleric. Something that made Dis despise her from the first moment.

"My noble father Thrain and my legendary grandfather Thror always respected everyone, no matter their rank. My brother Thorin is even more adamant in that respect. As part of this family, I differ not." Dis said quietly. She personally didn't care about annoying Kárunn, but she didn't want to flare the anger of this haughty Dwarrowdam against the poor orphan who was fixing her second boot silently.

"Nevertheless she is so different, so ugly." Kárunn scrounged her nose and looked down at her feet. She kicked the girl's knee and Eilin took care to move further off as not bother the lady.

"You are even more imprudent than your sister, for far more sinister reasons and that displeases me." Dis chastised.

"My sister can become very picky my lady. I partly understand her, but Eilin pour soul is not to blame. Her father bedded a woman and abandoned her in a tavern. No one knows his identity but the sigil in Eilin's baby belt was from the Firebeard clan, possibly from Belegost as most Firebeards live there. Apparently her father was into common women and that unholy union produced this weird little creature who is too small for a common woman and too hairless for a Dwarrowdam. She's been wandering for ages, just a lost soul, before she ended up coming here. It was a great gesture on your behalf to take her in your service my Lady. On that count, I disagree with my sister." Valdís spoke prudently.

The beautiful azure eyes of Dis, so similar to Thorin's, scrutinized her under her black perfect eyebrows. After a few thoughtful moments her red lips formed a sweet smile. "Those words are spoken with wisdom."

Valdis bowed and smiled, not noticing the murderous look that Kárunn gave her.

Dis then looked down at the girl who had finished and was kneeling quietly next to her with her hands crossed on her lap. "Get up Eilin."

The girl didn't move.

Dis offered her hand. "Get up." She repeated.

Eilin raised her eyes and looked at the beautiful Dwarven Princess. She took the offered hand slightly trembling and stood up. Dis stood up also and raised Eilin's arms. She was several inches shorter than Dis who was fairly tall for a Dwarrowdam.

"How tall are you?" Dis asked the Valdis.

"Four foot two my lady." The blonde Lady bowed politely.

"So you are about the same height. She is not very tall. Maybe a bit too skinny and dainty also." Dis observed the girl's thin waist and almost non existent hips. She looked like she could use a couple of good meals to shape her up. Her face was very different from the common Dwarrowdams. She didn't have any facial hair and her ears were rounded and not pointy. Her face was strikingly pretty, but her characteristics were almost translucent. She had a fair complexion and bright green eyes that were intoned by her long and very curly ginger mane that flowed wild around her delicate face. Her lips were like cherries and her cheeks well defined. All in all if she dressed up in a more careful manner and took several showers she could be deemed presentable. In human standards possibly a true beauty.

"You just need a couple of new, clean dresses and to have a thorough bath that will clear up this thick hair of yours." Dis pressed her lips and dropped Eilin's hands.

The girl nodded and lowered her head.

"Do you never talk?" Dis observed her.

The girl shook her head.

"She's been in the midst of many disagreements…" Valdís hesitated to intervene.

"People been kicking her back and forth, why hold your tongue about a bastard sister? She's got what she had coming. I don't feel sorry for her." Kárunn spat vehemently.

"People been hitting you a lot?" Dis tried to look at Eilin's eyes.

Eilin nodded.

"Do you fear me?" Dis tried to encourage her.

The girl shook her head negatively.

"Fine, I don't require to hear your voice, as long as you take a good bath and ask Kárunn to give you a couple of dresses. Also I will require you to braid your hair up in a proper manner even though your elegant characteristics cannot truly support the intensity of a proper dwarven hairdo" -Dis paused with a playful smirk when she saw the lost look in the maiden's green eyes.- "if we ever manage to tame those crazy curls into a braid that is! Your hair is simply out of this world. Do you ever brush it?"

Eilin frowned and ran her fingers through her smooth, but indeed heavy curls not knowing what to say. She simply shook her head.

"Give her some my dresses?! You must be joking my Lady." -Kárunn sounded abhorred at the idea, but Valdis didn't feel empathy for her sister. She chuckled under her palm- "You shut up!" Kárunn spat at her sister.

"You had that coming a mile away," Valdís snorted truly amused at her moody sister getting her comeuppance.

"Twist my braid up and hold it in place with this." -Dis didn't comment on the conversation of the sisters. She gave Valdís a golden bead that had the Longbeard sigil on it.

"Beautiful…" the blonde girl mused and turned the braid in three tight circles, leaving a long tail to rest above Dis' shoulder. Then she secured it's end with the golden bead.

"Kárunn, bring here some dresses you don't use anymore." Dis ordered.

"I assure you my lady that I don't have any spare ones. But even if I did, I would never give them to a bastard, an abomination of nature!" Kárunn hissed.

Dis turned and glared her at her so coldly that the ashen haired girl backed up. "Go and tell your father that I will not be requiring your services anymore. Valdís and Eilin are a more amiable company for me."

Kárunn frowned and opened her mouth to answer many nasty things, but the status of the haughty Princess stopped her. She clenched her fists tight and her nose flared as she spat between her teeth. "Very well my lady."

Dis raised her brow. "What are you still doing here then, go." She dismissed Kárunn.

The older daughter of Fain bowed, but she made sure to crash the door thoroughly upon its hinges when she left.

"I am sorry about my sister…her attitude today was out of line," Valdís tried to mend things.

"Yours was too, but for different reasons," Dis's haughtiness was coming out in waves.

"I hope you didn't take what I said about our honourable King as anything more than female silliness," Valdís was looking at her hands truly embarrassed.

"I am used to women pining over my brooding brother, but I shall not withstand discriminatory comments towards anyone. Your sister needs to be reprimanded for her attitude towards this poor girl." Dis frowned at Valdis' reflection in the mirror.

"Forgive her my lady and forgive me." Valdís bowed her head respectfully.

"You are forgiven, your sister is not. Now allow me some peace of mind!" Dis rejoined.

Valdís bowed deeply again and made to leave, but Dis' solemn voice stopped her as she was putting her hand on the handle. "Before you go, I need you to bring me some of your dresses and a pair of boots. I also want this girl to be cleaned thoroughly. She cannot enter my service without looking pristine."

"Of course my lady." -Valdis bowed and then beckoned the girl with her hand- "Come Eilin."

Eilin hesitated to move.

"Didn't you hear my orders girl?" Dis' glare was strict on Eilin.

The maiden nodded and walked quickly towards the door, but a heavy rap on it stopped her.

"Enter," Dis said.

The door opened and a young lieutenant of Fain's royal guards came in. He took off his helmet and bowed to the ladies. "Greetings my ruler," he said respectfully from his inclined position.

"Let the formalities for another time my Lord. You bring news from Erebor?" she trailed off feeling her heart palpitating.

He looked up and her heart quickly sank at the darkness that loomed in his eyes. "Indeed my lady."

"Then speak!" she ordered and took several unsteady steps towards him.

"Erebor has been reclaimed and Smaug has been slain. Our troops are inside the mountain and around the perimeter, keeping the Lonely Mountain and the city of Dale secure." The soldier said.

She should have felt relieved upon those news, but it was as if something was stopping her.

"Rejoice!" Valdís clapped.

"Shush your mouth!" -Dis raised her hand and approached the soldier- "You have more to say…" she whispered.

"Yes, my Lady." The man lowered his eyes. She saw perspiration breaking on his forehead and her stomach squeezed as if preparing for the blow.

"Who fell?" she exhaled and felt the colour draining from her cheeks at that certainty.

"Kili your son my Lady, I am sorry." The man kneeled down and bowed in respect.

Dis felt her knees unlocking and the world dimming away quickly. "Kili is dead?" she whispered. She grabbed the back of the chair and Eilin rushed to steady her.

"Yes, my Lady" the man repeated sorrowfully.

"Fili, is he…" -she felt her voice weak and her mind stupidly slow. Her tongue seemed to be slurring out the words, not truly forming them. Eilin's hands were firm around her waist.

"Alive my Lady, but wounded. Master Dain says the wounds of the Prince are not fatal," the man looked up eager to see the face of the Princess taking up courage in these news, but it didn't.

Her exhalation sounded muffled in her ears and the world was coming in and out of focus. Eilin attempted to make her sit, but Dis shook her head. "No, leave me!" -she cried. Then she drew her hand away from Eilin and wiped off the perspiration on her upper lip- "My brother?" she asked and the trepidation made her hands shake almost uncontrollably.

The soldier pressed his lips and lowered his eyes again. "The King is mortally wounded my Lady." He said with a low voice betraying his own sadness.

Dis was unable to stop the anguished sob that tore through her chest. "No...no..." she stuttered and tried to find someone to hold onto as she was coming apart. Her fingers traced the outline of the chair's back as her legs were unable to hold her up anymore and Eilin led her to it, with eyes full of dread.

"I am so sorry my Lady." Valdís whispered with teary eyes.

"Get out all of you!" Dis cried and clutched her temples painfully.

"I am at your service my Lady," the man said and bowed deeply before leaving the room. Valdís closed the door silently behind her.

Eilin made to leave also, but Dis' heavy hand grabbed her forearm. "Not you" she whispered and felt the tears falling from her eyes heavy and hot. Her heart was screaming in pain at the loss of her son and the possibility of losing her brother also. The news that Fili was still alive did little to soothe her pain. She couldn't break down now in front of strangers. She needed to be next to her family. That was the most important thing. It took her several moments to gather back all the threads that the soldier's words had unraveled, but when she spoke again her voice was firm. "Call the Lieutenant back in," she said to the red headed girl who ran to fulfil the princess' orders.

"My Lady..." the soldier entered and came down to one knee.

"How many days to Erebor by horse?" she asked without opening her eyes. Her fingers were twisted painfully around the back of her chair, trying to ground her here as her heart had already fled to the Lonely mountain.

"A week, my Lady"

"By river?"

"Two days the most, but the waters are dangerous," the man tried to warn.

"Ask Master Fain for a boat and provisions for two days. I will need an experienced guide and this girl with me. I need all this ready by tomorrow morning." Her voice sounded collected and commanding even though her soul was melting inside a dark pool of anguish and despair.

"You cannot cross these waters alone without an army around you my Lady. These lands are crawling with retreating Orcs." The man tried to reason.

"You speak with wisdom, but my heart is already with my family. Heed my orders immediately. I shall expect to depart first thing in the morning." She forced herself to open her eyes and then she gazed over at the man haughtily.

"I will ask for a small platoon to escort you there myself, my Lady." He bowed to the ground.

"Very well." Her chin tilted upwards nobly, but her trembling fingers tightened around Eilin's forearm betraying how much she truly needed the support.

"Men Ezbad!" the ginger haired soldier bowed once more in respect and left them.

When the door closed behind them Dis covered her mouth and kept her breath trapped, because she feared it was her last one and if she lost it she would be dead too. Some tears cascaded down her cheeks as she didn't feel any hesitations on breaking down in front of this outcast who was holding her hand so firmly.

As every loving image of her son Kili assaulted her mind she felt her body sliding off the chair. She kneeled heavily upon the floor, finally releasing all the pain in her heart with gut retching wails that were barely controlled behind her shaking fingers. A hand caressed the back of her head and a surprisingly melodic voice spoke close to her ear. "I am sorry for your loss my Lady".

Dis covered her face and broke down completely not caring that she was showing her most intimate emotions to a strange girl she had met only a week ago. All she could think of was getting quickly to Erebor in order to bury her beloved Kili and embrace her valiant Fili. Hoping against all hope to find her wolf alive. She couldn't lose anybody else...she just couldn't!

She couldn't handle anyone else dying...enough...she had seen enough deaths...just enough!

* * *

 


	3. *Promise me

"Mr. Bilbo, wake up." It was the quiet voice of Ori that awoke the Hobbit from his heavy slumber.

He coughed and tried to figure out his surroundings. It took him only a couple of moments to remember where he was. "Thorin?" Was his first question.

"He's been in and out of consciousness for the last hour. He kept calling for Fili. Can you take over? I cannot keep my eyes open/" the young Dwarf looked beyond exhausted, almost broken.

"Sure, take my place. It's warm here." Bilbo got up and stretched before he walked quietly and stood next to Balin.

The old Dwarf didn't remove his eyes from the drops of sweat that adorned Thorin's forehead.

"Is he sweating?" Bilbo's lips broke into a hesitant smile while his heart attempted to feel hope that maybe not all was lost yet.

"He's been alternating between cold and warm all night long, but he is very delirious."Balin looked up dejected.

"He's trying to fight it off." Bilbo whispered.

Balin shook his head. "Yes" -Then his lips turned down and he reached out to touch Thorin's warm hand softly- "You cannot expect anything less out of him. He was always a fighter."

Bilbo looked out the window and saw the first streaks of dawn breaking through the heavy clouds. "Shall I bring you something to eat?" He asked observing how exhausted the older Dwarf looked.

"No appetite." Balin's voice was barely heard.

"How is Fili?"

"He's doing extraordinarily well. Woke up during the night and wanted to see Thorin. We didn't allow him to get up." He then turned to Oin who was messing about his cauldron. "Want to check on his wound?"

"Sure…" Oin said and approached Thorin. He looked at his sleeping troubled face and after a few moments cringed. "I lied."

Balin looked at him.

Oin frowned. "This is one job I took over that I don't want to check on it's progress..." he muttered.

Balin closed his eyes and got ready to speak, but Oin continued.

"Nevertheless, I will..." he rejoined with precise and gentle moves he opened up Thorin's tourniquet only to see an highly inflamed wound. He pressed his fingers around the skin and saw white traces.

Balin covered his mouth and all the blood drained from his tear etched face. "It doesn't look good."

Oin shook his head and gazed heavily at the old advisor. "It's not…"

It took Balin several moments to come to a decision, but when he looked up his eyes were set. "Bilbo can you go and check on Fili? If he is able to get up, bring him over. They need to talk to each other, for I fear greatly..." Balin's eyes were draped by a shadow of dread.

"You fear Thorin is not going to make it, right?" Bilbo pulled back feeling that terrified certainty overtaking his logic.

Balin's lips turned down. "No I fear time...bring Fili over, because I don't think we have anymore time."

The words fell heavy in the room and covered it with cold silence. Surprisingly though, as Thorin's face was a pale mask of death and his body was unable to move, behind his fluttering eyelids, inside his mind there was a bloody menagerie of ancient times taking place.

* * *

The books don't remember history as well as my mind does. People don't know what happened to the Arkenstone that fateful day. They suppose that Thror threw it at the vaults in order to hide it from Smaug the Great. Others believe he lost his footing and the Arkenstone flew off his hand and got buried deep into the never ending treasure vaults, becoming inevitably lost. Some spread a sort of mystical touch to the whole story and try to convince others that the Arkenstone felt Thror's gold sickness and the corruption of his ring of power and tried to hide from him. My father thinks that Thror may have lost it on purpose in order not to pass it down to him. Everyone thinks they've got the right theory, but they have all got it wrong. That day it was not Thror who lost the Arkenstone, but me….and that has fallen heavy on my conscience for hundreds of years.

"What did you say?" Thror looked up hazed.

"It's a Dragon!" Thorin's heavy timbre echoed in the throne room.

"So what? Those beasts have been sniffing around our gold for years. Kill the damn thing!" Thror dismissed him and started pacing in front of his throne.

Thorin walked up to him and took hold of his shoulder needing to shake him to reason. "I don't think you understand. This isn't some ordinary dragon grandfather. This is Smaug and he is standing at our front doors with nasty deliberations! We need to get out of here, now!"

"Did I give any orders for evacuation boy?" Thror looked up haughtily.

"No, but you need to order it now! The soldiers won't be able to hold that damned beast back. The gates will collapse soon…" Thorin tried.

"Did your father give such orders perchance?" Thror continued unfazed.

Thorin's eyes blazed under his fine arched eyebrows. "Thrain is trying to organise the defence and I have to join him! Instead I am here trying to reason with you about the inevitable!"

"Then do so and get off my back!" Thror shooed him away.

"I will go as soon as Frerin gets you, Dis and mother out of the Eastern gates!" Thorin growled. He grabbed his grandfather's arm and pulled him towards the bridge.

Thror broke free with surprising ease and ran back to his throne, which he embraced almost possessively. "I am not leaving my treasure boy. You and Frerin take your mother and sister and go."

"No! Now is not the proper time to become obsessed again, listen to the explosions outside. This place won't last another moment. We have already lost to Smaug. He will enter and he will take over your treasure. At least we can save the people of this city if not it's bloody columns! Now come on!" Thorin cried and pointed behind him where the very bowels of the mountain were echoing with Smaug's tries to tear open the fortified gates.

"Go down to your father and command our army as you are supposed to, that's an order!" Thror said and out of the blue stepped on his throne and tried to throw open the locks that kept the Arkenstone in place.

"Father send me up to get you, because he knew this was going to happen. Enough, you are coming with me!" Thorin said decisively and grabbed his grandfather by the waist just as the locks broke open and Smaug's tail brought down the large circular windows at the back of the room scattering broken glass everywhere. They both fell back and rolled on the floor. Thorin got almost emptied over the bridge to the passages below. He pulled himself up with an angry groan and saw his grandfather crawling through the debris to get the Arkenstone. "No, you won't" he cursed and fell on top of his grandfather.

Thorin's superior built and strength combined with his youth were enough to pin down his ferocious grandfather who tried to crawl right from under him in order to grab the Arkenstone that was a few inches away from his face. "Leave it! I said LEAVE IT!" Thorin's hand grabbed Thror's and they entangled in a violent struggle. One trying to grab the Arkenstone and the other to drag him away. That is how his sister, his brother and his mother found them and it was Dis' shocked voice that made them stop and look up.

"What the hell are you doing to grandpa?" She asked with a mouth slightly ajar.

"What the HELL ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?!" He snarled at them and then pinned down the other hand of Thror who cried in despair when he felt that he couldn't outmatch his massive grandson.

"Get him off my back!" Thror yelled, but was unable to move.

Dis took a few steps closer. "What are you doing Thorin?! You are hurting him!"

The grounds shook under them and his mother screamed and embraced Frerin.

"Get out of here before the mountain buries us!" He cried and gritted his teeth from the effort of immobilising Thror.

"This place is going to collapse. The gates are about to give in! We need to get him to come with us!" Frerin cried and pointed at their ferocious and rather furious grandfather, who was clearly not going to join his family quietly at that moment.

"Get mother and Dis out of the Eastern exits, they should be safe. Strike the bells thrice before that beast breaks in and brings them down once and for all! The deep halls and the mines have no idea what's going on up here! Tell everyone to evacuate!" Thorin gritted his teeth as Thror managed to break one arm free with animalistic ferocity and dragged himself along with Thorin slowly to the Arkenstone.

Frerin nodded and made to leave, but Thror's voice stopped him. "No, no one leaves the gold! We must save it! Save everything! Give me my Arkenstone!"

Dis felt her eyes overflowing with tears. "Mom what's wrong with grandad?"

"Don't look at him girl! Frerin take her away and run. I will be right behind you!" Thorin's mother looked at her oldest son with apprehension, but she knew. She knew very well what was going on. Frerin and Dis on the other hand, seemed totally bewildered.

Thorin's monumental voice took command, outmatching his grandfather's authority with an ease he didn't think he possessed until then. "What are you standing there brother?! Evacuate NOW, that's an order!"

"Son please help him…" his mother's beautiful eyes filled with tears.

Thorin felt Thror's continuous struggle pay off as he slipped from under him and shuffled like a crouching tiger quickly to the accursed Gem. "Frerin get them out of here now. They weren't supposed to see any of this. OUT!"

Dis turned and hid her face on Frerin's shoulder as he led them quickly out of the throne room just as one of the statues got its head detached when the mountain shook under Smaug's ferocious attack. Large boulders crashed on the floors beneath destroying several passages and sending the retreating Dwarves scattering left and right. Thorin looked up at the dome of the mountain and saw cracks and fissures appearing everywhere. At the columns around them, at the bridge and above the throne, just were the Arkenstone used to be.

"My precious, I'll never let you go again." Thror kissed the stone tenderly, completely oblivious that the place was going to bury them alive along with all his gold.

"We have to leave grandfather!" Thorin cried and Thror looked at him with hatred.

"You will not take it away from me, you hear?" And with surprising agility he stood up and ran down the corridor that led straight to the treasure vaults.

Thorin made to follow him, but another deep rumble released several rocks from the roof that landed on him. He fell to the floor only for a moment, but that small interval was enough to make him lose sight of Thror. When he stood up his grandfather was nowhere to be seen.

"Sir, the gates are about to give what should we do?" Two royal guards came rushing in from the right corridor that led to the entrance.

Thorin inhaled deeply and his fists clenched. "Follow me," he said and dashed after Thror, hearing their heavy boots and armour clanking behind him. He didn't want anyone to witness the sickness of his grandfather. Their family's darkest secret that Thrain and apparently his mother have been keeping from the world was not supposed to come out in this degrading manner, but he didn't have a choice. He needed help. Thror's obsession had become so serious, that he didn't even recognise what was truly important during this new perilous threat that overwhelmed Erebor. His family meant nothing to him in front of his beloved treasure and the Arkenstone. No one could reason with him and that was obvious. Thorin fled down the stairs like a madman in pursuit and nothing managed to stop him more violently than what he saw when he turned around the final archway.

Thror was standing there on a landing that was overlooking part of the immense treasure vaults. He was holding the King's Gem next to his lips…kissing it…his eyes were blissful and his lips curled up in the sweetest smile Thorin had ever seen from him.

Thorin's chest welled as he addressed the guards behind him. "What you see from now on remains with you till your final days."

Silence behind him.

Then his eyes were on them, fixed and vacant, promising that his threat should not be taken lightly. They looked at each other warily and bowed to the ground. Thorin turned to his grandfather and felt his throat tightening painfully. The forgiveness he asked was silent and was towards Durin himself, not his grandfather.

Then Thror got suddenly bulldozed to the wall with a barbarity that was truly unexpected and difficult to fight against. His head crashed to the stones and broke open and his shoulder got dislocated. The Arkenstone fell from his hand and next to Thorin's boot. He turned to the guards "Get him out of here now! To the eastern gates!"

They didn't hesitate. They lifted up a dazed Thror that didn't know where he was anymore and dragged him up the stairs leaving Thorin alone to look at the sparkling Gem that was touching the side of his boot. His jawline tensed and he felt ripples of hatred passing through his spine. Then he took the Arkenstone in his hand and threw it with such strength that he didn't even see where it landed. He just heard the clanking sound and saw several golden hills rolling downwards as they began to migrate from his rude intervention. His heart rejoiced at that moment, hoping that they would bury it for life, not knowing that hundreds of years later he would pay a burglar to do the best he could in order to find it again inside this chaos. Without giving the vaults a second look, he took another staircase up and rushed to stand next to his father by the gates.

That was the end of the Arkenstone. The end of the great city of Erebor. The end of the prosperous days of Durin's folk for many years to come. The end of Dale. The end of the biggest Dwarven stronghold in Middle Earth. That was the end of his life as a Prince, a commander and the heir to the throne of Erebor. It was the beginning of his life as a pauper, a paid blacksmith, a paid soldier, a builder...

That day were he took command of the evacuation of Erebor, the loss of the Arkenstone and the saving of his grandfather he became unwillingly a most precious point of singularity around which his family would gather in order to keep it's threads from falling apart during the following desolate years.

He remembered running outside the broken gates when Smaug moved indifferent to them inside the city and settled in the treasury. The image of Thranduil on his elk looking down at them majestically was so vivid there inside his dreams that his body tightened and his head moved slowly in objection. He heard himself asking for help. No he begged them for help as he was surrounded by wounded women, children and elders that stumbled out of the crumbling walls covered in blood and dust. He felt his vocal chords tearing apart as he called for them, only to see the great Elven King turning his back at them. He felt the tears burning hot in his eyes at that moment...

-.-

What he didn't know was that those tears were also running down his cheeks there in the midst of his comrades, as his body was being riddled with fever. Reality and dreams were clashing against each other, neither of them winning Thorin to its side. One moment he was back at Dale with his siblings happy and blithe and the next he was next to Balin's dark shadow, for his eyes couldn't see anything else, but dark outlines. One moment he felt strong and young again, able to fight off the greatest enemies of his Kingdom and the next he felt his body heavy and useless. Burning hot and freezing cold at the same time while the right side of his torso was totally mangled and vibrating with a throbbing pain that was able to tear his mind out of his head. One moment he could feel Dis wrapping her arms around him in a warm embrace as he gave her a new kite and the next his beautiful dream was chased away by probing hands that were causing him excruciating pain and fed him with liquids that he fought against throwing up. One moment he felt his body drenched in sweat, the next his teeth were chattering as he was unable to control the shaking of his frozen hands. He didn't think that these games between reality and dreams was him sleeping...he was simply fading away from them. Fainting and then coming to...constantly.

The need to see Fili was always predominant when he had those rare moments of relative clarity and he managed to voice it. The voices answered him that the boy was well and resting. Well and resting…yes, he was well and resting and those words were enough to make him want to try and fight this hell. The knowledge that his boy was somewhere alive and resting comforted him in ways he didn't think possible inside a body that was one step from death. He felt the hotness of his tears streaking down his cheeks and getting trapped at the hairpins of his lips. He wanted to lick them away, but his body refused to do even that. Instead he heard Balin's voice next to his ear and he shuddered hard in response. "What is it laddie? Can you speak?"

"Nightmares again." The stern voice of Dwalin spoke from the other side. He wanted to turn his head and look at his childhood friend, but he couldn't. He wanted to tell them that he didn't have only nightmares, but also beautiful dreams...but he was unable to. Finally he gave up on the try to communicate as it was hopeless and silence fell on him like a warm blanket on an already burning body.

Then he slowly began sliding down a long dark corridor, feeling the walls closing in on him...he was fading away from them...once more.

He didn't know how long he remained under, but when he came to, there were more voice around him, stronger and more definitive. Then the air slightly moved around him and he picked up the scent in the blink of an eye. He knew that scent ever since he held that boy for the first time in his arms when he was born and his heart rejoiced, but he was unable to share his happiness. The only thing he managed was to open his lips with great difficulty and whisper a defeated "Fili?"

Then a strong hand covered his with so much unspoken love that fresh tears sprang from his eyes. He physically forced himself to crack open his eyelids slightly and the first thing he recognised was the royal blue sky of the bed he lay on. Was this Thror's old bedroom? He remembered the geometric golden patterns on it from when he was sleeping there as a child sometimes next to his grandfather.

"Uncle?" The beloved voice sounded broken next to his ear and he felt his heart skirting weakly.

He tried to lift his hand to caress his boy's face, to make sure that he was alive, but he couldn't. He frowned and his lips trembled. "No, don't cry…", he begged.

The hand tightened possessively around his, keeping him grounded, making him understand how much he was loved. "Uncle, I am here. I am here…" the voice repeated and soft fingers wiped away his tears with a gentleness that shocked him.

His fingers traced feebly around until he was able to cup Fili's hand and his head turned to look at him, but there were only blurry shadows and fuzzy outlines. How he wished to touch those outline though, but they lay too far off his reach. "You have to bury your brother my son..." He whispered feeling out of breath already and his tongue licked his dry lips. Another hand cupped his and he felt strength in that grasp. So much strength that his lips upturned in a ghostly smile.

"I am not doing it alone uncle, no!" Fili's voice was shaking from emotions untold, but Thorin felt them by the way his nephew was clutching his hand.

Thorin swallowed painfully and gasped for air. "You need to take care of your brother" -he repeated and looked at the blue sky above him which resembled the clear skies of the prettiest springtime, "your wound…"

Fili's cheek then was pressing against his and he felt his beloved nephew's sobs digging holes to his heart. "I am well, don't worry." Fili's hands tightened around his and his temple rubbed against his hot brow.

Thorin nodded and swallowed again with great difficulty. It was becoming harder and harder to move, hear or see. He needed to speak to Fili, he needed to tell the boy to take back... "The Arkenstone…" the word came out in an exhalation.

The silence in the room exploded shivers all over his fever riddled body.

"Thranduil has it." Fili's voice vibrated through him.

Thorin nodded and gasped for more air. "You need to take it back."

Fili gritted his teeth. "Leave that accursed gem away from Erebor uncle. Our fall will be for it."

Thorin shook his head slightly and his hand crawled painfully slow out of the covers in search of Fili's face. His boy felt his need and lowered his head to meet Thorin's hand. His fingers traced around his temple and down his cheek and a small smile appeared on his lips. "Negotiate for the Arkenstone son. The seven clans will not unite under you without it…please do it for me."

Fili's hot tears stained Thorin's fingers. "Heal and do it yourself uncle! I will not do your job for you!" His need to sound angry made Thorin's heart break apart.

"Listen to me son. Quiet the anger in you. Take the Arkenstone back and rule this kingdom wisely." His dry lips broke into a sweet smile as his eyes tried to trace Fili's blonde haired outline.

"Uncle no!...please no..." Fili's nose flared and he butted his forehead on Thorin's chest not knowing what he was begging for.

Thorin's hand climbed up the adored head and caressed his hair gently. "Tell your mother how much I loved her."

Fili gritted his teeth and looked up sharply. "You tell her yourself, do you hear me?!"

Thorin drew in a ragged breath and looked up to the sky of the bed again.

"Breathe steady…" Balin's caring voice told him.

"Thorin, Fili doesn't have anything to negotiate with." The voice of Dwalin pulled him back from the black long corridor that was calling him over.

Thorin's shallow breath exhaled. "Gems of Lasgalen." The sharps inhalations around him, were barely heard.

"Your grandfather Thror wouldn't have given up those Gems. Remember?" Dwalin strong voice brought him back from the dreamlike state he was drifting in.

"Thror was mistaken" -Thorin muttered and then forced his eyes open again to see the blurred outline of his nephew- "Trade the White Gems with the Arkenstone son and take your rightful place upon that throne. May your rulership be wiser than mine."

"I will not! I will fight death himself in order to bring you back, do you hear me?!…" Fili's fury spilled out of his every seam.

Thorin's brow darkened and he cupped Fili's cheek trying to look into his eyes. "Promise me that you will."

He only felt Fili's silent tears, but no words of reassurance.

"Promise me!" He pleaded.

"Son do it please." Balin gazed beseechingly at Fili.

Fili embraced Thorin with his whole body and nodded. "I promise I will uncle, I promise!"

Thorin exhaled and his shoulders relaxed. "I love you…" he muttered and then got ready to slide down that dark tunnel slowly the moment he seized all his tries to stay there with his nephew. He was truly surprised when it engulfed him with terrifying totality.

Fili looked up terrified, his tearstained eyes too blurry to see if he was was still breathing. "Uncle?! Uncle!" he grabbed Thorin's tunic and jerked him hard.

It was Balin's heavy voice that made Fili rest his head on Thorin's chest in relief. "Steady son, he's just fainted again. Let him rest..."

* * *

Eilin nudged her pony until it aligned with Princess Dis'. She took out her fur coat from the bag and showed it silently to her.

Dis shook her head. "No, thank you."

"You are going to catch your death." Eilin whispered. She didn't want anyone to hear her voice as she was not in a hurry to draw any attention upon herself during this journey or otherwise. During the time she has lived amongst Dwarves she was shunned about her heritage, kicked away for her weird looks and her hairless face. When she was living amongst common people, she was always targeted for her small size, so she knew how to keep her head low and out of trouble. When a Princess of the crown, the sister of the King himself chose her, against all odds to accompany her back to Erebor, Eilin was more scared than happy. Back in the old days when she was not employed under such a powerful figure of authority she was getting physically abused all the time. She was being punched, kicked, pushed, whipped and to her ultimate shame and devastation also raped. Not by Dwarves of course, since their impeccable sense of propriety didn't allow them to act like filths, but by common men. Inside the dark and sleazy taverns she used to work, it had been expected that one day she would end up being cornered in a dark room and experience her one and only take on men through all that violence and hate.

After that she stopped speaking, she drew back in on herself for comfort and tried not to draw anyone's attention. She tried to become invisible and she partly managed it. When the company of vagabond Dwarves that took her in reached the Iron Hills she begged master Dain for a job and surprisingly she was placed at the stables to care for the animals. She survived and lasted long in that noble service, by keeping her head low and working like a dog. As a result no one really ever bothered her, if you excluded a couple of Dwarrowdams that found a good laughing subject out of her hairless face, which she didn't mind considering that she had been through far worse hell the previous years of her short life.

When Princess Dis arrived in the Hills and enchanted everyone to her bidding, Eilin was immediately drawn to her beauty and silent haughtiness, but above all to her kindness. She had a couple of opportunities to serve her dinner or breakfast in her rooms and that is how Dis got to know her. She was drawn to her taciturn and prudent personality and soon enough she was asking for the strange girl with the tattered clothing to service her more and more often. Still it was a huge surprise to Eilin when Dis chose her as a maid and took her on this journey to Erebor.

Eilin had never hoped, not even in her wildest dreams to see the Lonely Mountain up close. She had heard the stories of the mighty Kings and the fierce battles they partook, sang from the bards. Hell, she has even drawn those Kings herself using the words of her best friend and her own imagination as tools. She had listened mesmerised to the songs that spoke about Smaug the Great and how he drove off Durin's folk from the great city of Erebor. She had created small works of arts out of those songs and had even sang them herself secretly during those long sleepless nights were she washed the clothes of so many Dwarrowdams. Now the Great Maker for some unknown reason had deemed her worthy enough to ride towards the golden city to see with her own eyes all that she'd been dreaming off for years. Yet, her unexpected journey to the Lonely Mountain was tainted by the anguish of a mother who had lost her son and a sister who was about to lose her brother, one of the Kings that Eilin have only dreamt of ever meeting. No matter how bad she wanted to see the tales of old coming to life, her mind right was concentrated solely on the Princess.

She wanted to offer words of comfort, but she didn't know how to do it. Her job was to silently serve and protect. When she followed the Princess on this trip, she swore that she was going to protect the line of Durin as they had protected and offered her a chance in life. Princess Dis gave her security and hope for the future, and Eilin was forever grateful and indebted to this family. She was going to do the best she could for them. Even if that was to stand in front of the princess and take a deadly blow in her stead.

"The wind is rough on the face, pull your scarf higher up." Dis offered bluntly and kept her eyes on the road.

Eilin nodded silently and did as she was told.

"It is coming from the North in frozen blasts, maybe you should take your maid's advice my Lady and wear the fur." The Lieutenant that led their platoon galloped next to them.

Dis felt detached, but his intervention was too polite to be ignored. "I cannot feel the cold for there is a fire in my heart." She muttered.

"A fire?" The man asked.

"My heart is burning to see my children…and not until I lay my hand on my brother's face will it go out." She whispered and felt her eyes tearing. She drew herself up and swallowed heavily.

The Lieutenant lowered his head sorrowfully.

Eilin felt that her presence there was imposing, so she discreetly backed her up up until she was out of hearing range.

"Don't look so sad Lieutenant…you know the casualties of war I presume." Dis continued with a hard and lofty voice. Her eyes were almost glowering at the solitary peak whose dark outline could be seen in the distance. They were approaching Erebor fast. The river took them as far as was possible and then they mounted their small ponies and made as good a time as their animals and their exhaustion allowed. They were no more than a night away from her family.

"Aye my Lady." He replied respectfully.

She hesitated and then looked up to him. His long beard had two long warrior braids splitting it in half, which were tucked in his wide belt. The two long braids of his hair, were caught at the back of his head, keeping his long thick red hair away from his temples. In full armour he looked rather tall and very well build "You lost a family?" she asked.

"Aye, my wife." He didn't turn to face her.

"Which battle took her?"

"Moria." -His face twisted in anger- "I lost my father and my brother there also."

She inhaled sharply. "I feel your pain Lieutenant. I lost my grandfather, younger brother and husband in that accursed battle. Damn the deities that lured my grandfather to reclaim that doomed mountain...still your wife, why was she in the battlefield?"

"She was not."

"What happened to her Lieutenant?" Her chin thrust upwards.

"Retreating Orcs that sought revenge attacked our stronghold in the Northern ranges of Ered Luin. They found her in one of the tunnels which she ran to in order to bring a child back to safety. The child was saved, but she was slain…" he spoke hardly with any emotion.

Dis lowered her head. "So much pain, so much endless loss for all of us. I am sorry."

"I am sorry for yours." He bowed respectfully, but avoided her eyes.

"What is your name?"

"Dongar Blacklock."

"'Tis a noble name." A smile played on her lips, even though her heart was sank in a black pool of hopelessness. "From the halls of Orocarni, right?"

"Yes my lady." He smiled.

"I am glad you are my escort Lieutenant." She faced forward and let the cold wind blow part of that darkness away.

"My honour." He touched his fist upon his heart and bowed.

"We are just a night away, isn't that right Dongar?" she frowned.

"Yes, but we must camp soon. The ponies won't last all through the night."

"There are no Orcs along the road. I think your presence here has been needless, even though it's solemnly appreciated."

"The armies of my master have driven the Orcs back into the mountains. The roads through the plains seem free enough, but I wouldn't risk your safety, my Lady"

"Thank you." She nodded gratefully.

"How would have I ever been able to face the legendary King Thorin Oakenshield, without being certain that I have done everything I could to protect his sister." He added.

She looked at him and cracked a smile.

He bowed in respect.

That smile didn't last long. Her lips turned down sadly and her chest welled again. "Do me a favour Dongar. Get my fur coat from my maiden." Suddenly it was as if that conversation had drawn all the remaining heat from her body and she began shivering from the cold.

"At your service." He bowed and turned his horse around. He found the peculiar and secretive maiden of the Princess further back away from every company. He asked for the fur coat politely and soon enough he was riding alongside the strikingly beautiful daughter of Durin. Throughout the years the beauty of the Longbeards was well spread in every Dwarven Kingdom, but seeing one of them up close had impressed him deeply. No matter how beautiful this woman was, and how penetrating her azure eyes were at his soul, he tried hard to avoid looking at her as such a deed would be considered imprudent. He held the coat as she wore it and buried her chin under the thick fur lapels. Her black arched eyebrows were creased deeply as the worries of her heart lay heavy. "I am truly sorry for your wife Dongar. Was the child yours?" she spoke after a long time.

He sighed. "No, Mahal didn't bless our union with a child."

She gazed at him, but remained silent at that.

He was respectfully looking towards the road. "My woes have faded from the merciless passage of time. Yours are still fresh my Lady. Tell me if there is anything I can do to assist you." He offered and met her eyes.

She pressed her lips. "I won't rest until I bury my dead son Dongar and I embrace my living son. I cannot rest until I kiss the lips of my brother, dead or alive." Her voice broke as more tears came unbidden.

"We could press on tonight my lady, but it will be hard on the animals and you. Do you wish me to do that?" He tried to offer her any kind of comfort.

"No, let the men rest, but can you send off a raven in the meantime? I need to have news of my brother and son tonight…" Her azure eyes pierced through his very soul with their honest need.

"I will do so immediately my Lady." He bowed sharply.

* * *

Four hours later they were camping under the protection of a huge cavern. Several fires had been lit around their small camp and Dis was sitting upon a stone in front of a fire that Eilin had made for them. Dis fell completely silent after her short discussion with the Lieutenant. She saw the raven flying of to Erebor, but hadn't yet seen it return and now her heart was full of terror. The anticipation of reaching the Lonely Mountain felt almost unbearable to her already broken spirit.

"I won't be able to sleep tonight." She muttered defeated to Eilin.

"My Lady, you have to try. Tomorrow your kin is going to need you strong and healthy to help them out." Eilin whispered.

Dis pressed her lips as her troubled soul was mirrored in her countenance. "Why does the raven delay so much? It should have been back with news by now."

Eilin approached and showed Dis the cauldron. "I made a soup. Maybe you should eat something, it will make you feel better."

"I cannot." Dis shook her head dejected and was about to send Eilin away in order to silent brew in her agitation, when the piercing caw of the much expected raven tore the sky above them making her heart jump out of her throat. Dis sprang up and dashed after the raven with an agility that looked difficult considering all the layers of clothing she was wearing and nothing stopped her until she reached Dongar. The Raven was perched on his arm as the Lieutenant unfolded a scroll.

"News from Erebor?" She asked breathless.

He looked up to her. Her long black hair had gone lose from her braid and her eyes were wide and beseeching. He swallowed and gave her the scroll with a respectful bow.

She took it with trembling hands and looked down.

"Dongar,

Inform Princess Dis that her son Fili is doing very well. The wound on his back didn't penetrate any internal organs and he was lucky not to have suffered permanent damage. He is recovering quickly. King Oakenshield's wound on the other hand is rather severe. He is feverish and delirious. I am afraid that he might not make it through the night. Break the news to her gently. She might find her brother dead tomorrow upon arrival.

Dain IronFoot"

She felt her fingers numbing down and the parchment slipped from them and instantly got drenched by the wet mud in front of her heavy boots. "No...no ...no..." She stammered and looked up at Dongar's green eyes.

"My lady?"

"My brother…" She whispered and felt her chest imploding. Then without any warning her knees unlocked and she was free falling. The Lieutenant was quick to catch her and keep her aloft.

"I'll take you to your maiden." He said and pressed his lips.

"No, we need to get back on the road tonight!" Dis hissed and grabbed hold of his fur lapels.

"You are in no condition to travel. You can barely stand." He tried to reason.

"Everyone died without me having a chance to see them off…I need to do that with Thorin!" She whispered and a sob escaped her.

"Very well, we shall depart immediately if that is your wish." He reassured her.

"I will help!" Eilin's timid voice made them turn to her. She was bowing to the ground with tears in her eyes.

"I'll wake up the soldiers, you fix the horses." Dongar gave orders to Eilin.

"Give me one of your swords Lieutenant!" Dis said haughtily and pulled away from him.

"My Lady?" He frowned in mild confusion.

"I can wield one very well and you need all the help that you can get…" She spoke decisively. Nothing would stop her from reaching her family before her brother was dead.

"I can shoot a bow..." -Eilin intervened shyly and after a momentary pause she added- "pretty tolerably."

Dis gazed at her hard for a moment before turning to Dongar. "Get her a bow."

"Very well my lady." He said and went off to wake up everyone.

"Haven't shot one in five winters, but I will try my best." Eilin added with hesitation.

Dis looked at her sharply. "If any of them escape my sword which I doubt, shoot in the general direction of their bodies and we should be fine." She rejoined and her jawline flexed, as did her small determined fists.


	4. *Neither will he ever forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've seen many famous stories about Thorin in this archive and I am itching so bad to go and feast on them, but I will refrain to do so until I finish this poor thing. I haven't read any at all and I want to keep my head clean from any outside factors. When it's over I will binge on every single story I can get my hands on in here....

 

The night passed agonisingly slow, with Fili sitting by Thorin's one side and Balin by his other, hanging perilously between heavy sleep and weary alertness. Lord Dain visited with the intent to inform the Prince of all the arrangements for the protection of the golden city, but everyone knew he truly came to see how Thorin was doing. Fili seemed satisfied enough with Dain's military report and the way he addressed his formidable uncle presented a deep dedication to take over command, despite his youth. Something that made Balin and Dwalin very proud. The large bodyguard of the King didn't leave with Dain no matter how many times Balin insisted that he needed to take a break from this hell. Instead he retreated to a quiet corner by the fire in order to gather his thoughts and Balin soon joined him in painful silence.

When all were half asleep from fatigue, the only one remaining loyally awake was Fili and Oin. The Prince stood above Thorin's head like an angel, checking his temperature every so often and helping Oin to feed the King the medicinal brew. Despite their loving efforts though as time progressed Thorin's condition became rather dire. They were neither able to induce sweat or wake him up. He wasn't even delirious anymore. He was totally immovable, his breaths were quick and strained, his face was deadly pale and his lips gained a terrifying blue hue. His temperature had risen so much that even touching him was painful to their fingers. Oin's desperate tries to open up the wound in several places to allow the puss that was building up inside to seep through made Fili's heart clench in anguish, but he gritted his teeth and tried to help Oin the best he could. Any attempts to make Thorin swallow Oin's concoction were turning out to be a complete failure since in the end he couldn't even swallow anymore and the liquid ended up running down the side of his mouth and onto the mattress. By the first streaks of dawn Fili was looking at Thorin with dread-filled eyes, counting each breath, abandoned at the certainty that his uncle was soon going to stop breathing. His hand was grasping Thorin's tightly and he was not letting go even though his palm was sweaty from the heat his uncle's body was emanating. Balin's exhaustion had pulled him into a sleep full of nightmares next to Thorin's pillow. Young Ori and Bilbo were also sleeping close to the fire. On the contrary Dwalin was pacing up and down the room unable to control his anger.

"Saved him…Gandalf saved him…my ass!" Dwalin roared, not really knowing how to handle the hellish situation of his brother in arms.

"Not again." Balin whispered and he opened up his heavy eyelids with a deep frown.

Bilbo jerked up sharply and his hand grabbed one of the posts from the bed to steady himself. He looked around in confusion as every single morsel of his body seemed to tremble from the rude awakening. "Is he dead?!"

"He is one step from it!" -Dwalin growled- "I told you it was better to die sword at hand than fade away! That damned wizard did nothing more than postpone his death and make him and us suffer. May Mahal curse him for making my brother endure such agony!" He yelled and kicked a chair, scattering wooden fragments as far away as the door.

Ori woke up with a cry of fear and Oin threw his hands in the air exasperated. "I hate Dwalin when he's like that, but he is damned right you know!"

Dwalin looked at him angrily.

Oin picked up his hearing cone and placed it in his ear. "Our King is being racked with pain he doesn't deserve. He should have been resting in peace, with the Arkenstone on his chest under the mountain this very moment, not struggling in this manner." Oin's voice sounded frustrated.

Dwalin's jawline tightened in the face of all this torture. "This is a fate worse than death..."

Balin covered his eyes as these words reduced him to silent tears.

"I am going to find him and kill him…I swear I will! Do you hear me Thorin?" -Dwalin turned to the bed and glowered at his friend menacingly- " I am going to find and kill that damned wizard for making you suffer in this manner!" He spat.

"Who are you threatening to kill master Dwalin?" Gandalf's commanding tone made everyone turn around. His grey robes and large pointy hat overtook the entrance of the royal bedroom.

"Gandalf? Am I dreaming?" Balin's teary eyes squinted in disbelief.

"Unfortunately you are not, because that means I heard Dwalin's empty threats and I never forget." Gandalf entered the room, calmly.

"Good, because I don't intend you to forget! Look at him. Look what you reduced him to!" Dwalin pointed with hatred at the bedridden King.

"I am looking at the same place as you, but I am seeing different things." Gandalf's brow rose thoughtfully.

"Are you joking? I am going to cut you in half!" Dwalin picked up his axe and made to attack the tall wizard.

"Stand down! Lower your weapon!" Balin fell on Dwalin and restrained him with far more strength than anyone would have given him credit for.

"Gandalf did you bring help?" Bilbo bypassed the struggling Dwarves and came up to his friend. The despair was visible in his face.

Gandalf's mouth tilted to a lopsided smile that didn't go well with the darkness that had overtaken the room before his arrival. "Have you been sleeping on duty master Baggins? Impossible..." his lips pouted playfully.

"What? I wasn't truly sleeping..." -Bilbo looked at his chair by the bed- "I mean was just resting my eyes..."

Dwalin's wrathful voice drew their attention back to him. "You abandoned Thorin when he needed you the most!"

"I didn't abandon your King." Gandalf gazed calmly the huge dwarf who was being prevented with great difficulty from falling on the wizard like a ton of boulders.

"Excuse me my Lady." Gloin rushed in and fell on Dwalin pushing him back to the wall with the help of Balin.

Balin frowned. "My lady? What lady?"

Gloin groaned as he tried to take Dwalin's axe away from his hands. "The tall beautiful one behind Gandalf."

Balin released Dwalin in order to look behind the Grey Wizard and Gloin grumbled angrily. "Put the axe down! He brought help you bloody idiot!"

Gandalf pulled back and the light that filled the room made them all cover their eyes. The first one to lift his weary head and look at the light through his teary eyes was the silent till now prince Fili "Lady Galadriel?" He whispered and his hand tightened above Thorin's.

"Can you help him?" Gandalf turned to her calmly.

"Let me see him Mithrandir." She whispered with a deep voice that spellbound everyone in the room. She glided upon the floor and reached the bed. A smile spread on her lips and her long fingers touched his forehead. The light that was enveloping her body, slid over Thorin's face and hair and covered him with it's warmth. "He suffers greatly, but his suffering has lasted long enough..." her voice resonated through their souls. Her hand moved down his chest and touched his wound gently, then she brought her lips close to Thorin's face and smiled sweetly. "By the grace of Eru, son of Durin, take strength and wake up...wake up...".

-.-

"... _ wake up Thorin! She's getting away!" Frerin cried and jerked him hard. _

_ Thorin pulled his arm free of Frerin's tight grip and dashed after Dis, allowing the dragon kite he had been holding up till then to drift away up to the bluest skies. His hair flowed free in the wind without any warrior braids to weigh him down as he tried to trace Dis' boots through the crowded alleys. His sister was light on her feet, but not as fast as he was. She turned around and waved the red sash that Thrain gave Frerin to wear at the official royal dinners. When she saw Thorin's glowering rage flashing between all the people around them she stuck out her tongue playfully at him and ran faster than ever before. _

_ That afternoon, a hundred and seventy winters ago, in the city of Dale, Dis had sneaked up behind her brothers as they were flying a kite in the tallest bastion of the city and grabbed the sash from Frerin's waist. It untied easily and she flew off before he had the time to take it back. Now she was twisting her way through the beautiful market of the city, teasing her older brother in a singsong manner. "You'll never catch me!" _

_ Unbothered as she was about her route she bumped onto a counter and caused several red apples to roll down the paved road. People yelled at her, but she knew no one meant any harm. The Longbeards were much beloved in this city even though this fresh batch of their family was proving to be nothing less than a bunch of tearaways. The citizens though abided by their shenanigans with smiling faces that bespoke of genial affection. The whole city was in reality a safe playground for Thrain's children and everyone was a possible nanny for the day. _

" _ Watch it little missus." A man said as she fell onto him. _

" _ Excuse me!" She exhaled and used him to propeller herself away from the small gathering that was occupying the middle of the street. _

_ Thorin paused only for a second in order to grab Frerin's long sleeved tunic that was way too large for his small frame. _

" _ What are you doing? She's getting away!" Frerin cried and tried to shake himself free of Thorin's tight grasp, only managing to make his long blonde hair cover his handsome face. _

" _ Go through the spice market and try to stop her at the fountain!" Thorin cried and pushed him towards the said direction. _

_ It took Frerin only a second to grasp his older brother's scheme and he fled up the street without looking back. Thorin bit his lower lip and dashed down the primary route seeing the edge of Frerin's red sash flowing with the wind. _

" _ Be careful young Prince!" A voice chastised when he pushed a couple of people out of the way, but the delay was enough for him to lose sight of his sister. He stopped panting and looked around the street trying to find her in the midst of all these tall people. He told Frerin to get in front of her, but now he was not sure she had taken the road towards the fountain. One of the villagers came to his assistance. Maria, the middle aged flower seller that always helped him fix the tail of his dragon kite when it got tangled up, came up behind him. _

" _ Are you and Frerin at it again with your sister?" She asked with a small frown. _

_ Thorin showed her the young traces of the formidable frown that would be his signature look in his later years as a King. "She stole Frerin's sash, do you see her anywhere?!" His young voice exclaimed, as he tried to look through all the people. _

_ Maria sighed and scratched her cheek as she looked about. "She is heading towards the plaza. Now if I find out that you're messing with your little sister I am going to tell King Thrain!" She warned. _

" _ I've done nothing to her!" Thorin argued. _

" _ Today..." Maria raised her eyebrow. _

" _ Today that's right, because she's got it coming!" He rejoined boldly. _

_ Maria grabbed his arm. "I am not letting go unless you promise not to hurt her" _

_ "Fine! I won't hurt her, now let me go!" He said exasperated and pulled his arm free. _

_ Maria broke into a small smile as Thorin ran up the small paved alley, squeezing past all the people. Just before the entrance to the plaza he saw the red sash turning the corner of a building. Boosted by his confidence that he had her cornered he bolted after her. _

_ Disaster hit when he turned the same corner expecting her to still be running, but was taken by surprise when a large wooden board came crashing to his face with such strength that he toppled backwards and saw stars in his eyes. He grabbed his nose and felt warm sticky liquid covering his palm, while a hot white bolt of pain tore through his forehead. _

" _ Shit! I didn't mean to hurt you so bad!" Dis threw down the board and scuttled to him. _

_ He sprang on his feet and grabbed her by the shoulders before she could exclaim her surprise. "I am going to kill you!" He cried and threw her back. She fell on the ground and screeched when he wrestled her to submission quickly and effectively. All three kids were being trained for battle, so keeping her still as he tore the sash out of her strong grip gave him mild trouble, especially with his nose all bloody and his head swimming in pain. _

" _ Get off of me you idiot!" She cried and attempted to kick him in the privates. _

_ He blocked her knee easily and trapped it under his. "No I won't! I'll sit on you till the sun goes down and you beg for mercy!" He barked at her and raised his fist. He brought it down with such force that she cried and covered her face. _

_ Nothing happened. _

_ She slowly peeked through her fingers. His formidable fist was still there lingering above her cheek, but his bloody mouth was smiling smugly at seeing her so scared. Anger flared inside her and she pushed him. "Get off, I am going to tell dad!" She yelled and her eyes burned with tears that originated from guilt for hitting him so hard, but were now fed with anger at him handling her so roughly. _

" _ Did you get it?!" Frerin arrived totally out of breath, with his long hair out of order and his cheeks flashing red. _

_ Thorin gave him the sash angrily. "Next time, chase her yourself! Look what she did to me!" He snapped and tried to wipe away his nose that was dripping blood on his tunic and her vest. _

" _ I wanted to stop you, I didn't mean to hit you this hard!" Dis exclaimed and wiped away her tears. _

" _ You're lucky I didn't destroy you face! All that beauty dad is so proud off almost got wiped out!" Thorin barked at her and stood up. He pushed past the gathered villagers that came to see the scene between the young royals. He reached the fountain and splashed ample water on his throbbing face. _

" _ Dis you trolling idiot, you broke his nose! What the hell is the matter with you! First you steal my sash and then you mash his face in!?" Frerin hollered and pushed her back. _

" _ You and him are always hitting me! I'll tell dad!" Dis placed her petite hands on her waist. Her long black hair waved around her formidable frown that resembled Thorin a bit too much. _

_ "You are always bothering me in order to get a reaction! So you did! So go ahead and tell dad, who cares!" Thorin lashed out at her and she screeched again and pulled back. _

_ "I am sorry Thorin! I didn't mean to hurt you so bad, come on!" She wailed finally feeling that she was losing the battle. _

" _ Always hitting you…of course we do, because you are practicing all of dad's moves on us! I don't know who's hitting who the most!" Frerin cried at her face. _

" _ Come on you guys! Lay off! I just wanted to play!" Dis sobbed loudly. One of the villagers tried to solace her and she pushed them away. _

" _ If your mother finds out that you are arguing and hitting each other, King Thrain will be the least of your problems." The collected voice of Fundin, the King's closest advisor came from behind them and several villagers opened up for the much respected Dwarf. _

_ Dis ran up to him first with tears staining her pretty face and getting caught up in her dark sideburns. "Lord Fundin, I only wanted to play. I took Frerin's sash and wanted them to chase me and they did, but then I wanted to stop Thorin because he scares me, you know how much he scares me sometimes and I picked up a piece of wood and hit his face although I didn't want to hit his face, but his legs and then I broke his nose and now Frerin came and he wants to hit me and Thorin wants to bite my head off and I am going to tell daaaaaad!" She wailed and grabbed his waist trying to hide from her menacing brothers. _

" _ You aimed way too high for his freaking legs Dis! I mean we are tall for Dwarves, but we aren't that tall! You were aiming for his face! What do you think dad would say if he heard that part!?" Frerin hurled and rolled the sash tightly around his terrifying fist. _

_ Dis's eyes looked at his hand with dread. _ " _ Noooo, don't tell him that!" _

_ Thorin moved his nose about and felt the pain slowly numbing down. "If you are not going to tell, then I am not." He said through gritted teeth. No matter how much his little sister annoyed him, he also felt a protective steak towards her that was hard to resist sometimes. His mother said that was called love. He rather doubted it, yet today once more she managed to stir his youthful heart with her teary exclamations. _

" _ A wise suggestion befitting the future King." Fundin smiled knowingly. _

_ Thorin humphed and splashed more water on his face and hair. "My father is not here now uncle, don't suck up." He rejoined with the surprising authority that always came out of him when he was dealing with anyone else, but his immediate family. _

_ Fundin chuckled. "Very well my young Prince." His agreement came unhindered. _

" _ You won't tell dad?" Dis looked up from Fundin's side with her beautiful azure eyes. _

_ Thorin came close to her so quickly that she jerked back. "No I won't, but don't try anymore tricks on me! I swear next time I will make a knuckle sandwich out of your pretty face!" He raised his finger warningly at her. _

_ She sniffled. "I won't, I promise. I am sorry". _

_ Thorin crossed his arms and glowered at her. _

_ Dis disentangled herself from Fundin and before Thorin could react she grasped him around the waist tightly. Slowly all the villagers began dispersing and muttering words about this fiery line of Durin that was going to tear the Lonely Mountain apart in the distant future. No one could imagine how real those words would turn out to be not only for Erebor, but for their city also. _

" _ I owe you one Dis!" Frerin warned. _

" _ I hate it when she hugs me." Thorin grumbled and tried to look nonchalant while Dis' arms pressed his waist like two fierce clamps. _

" _ You hated it ever since she was a toddler and she was grabbing the tail of your tunic in order to keep upright my Lord." Fundin said respectfully. _

_ "Well she was always using it to wipe her runny nose!" Thorin looked at her dismissively. _

" _ I love you Thorin..." Dis mumbled and clutched him hard. _

_ "Great way of showing it." He said annoyed. _

_ "You scare me so much..." She sniffled. _

_ "And you bother the hell out of me..." He winced and tried to pull free. _

_ "I love you too Frerin." Dis looked up from Thorin's stomach at her other brother. _

_ "Forget about hugging me, get it!?" Frerin glared at her. _

_ Dis sniffled and gave him a sad nod. _

_ "Also...this is my sash, not yours! Understand!?" Her blonde brother showed her his tight fist that still had his sash tied around it. _

" _ Fine!" She spat and frowned at him, but didn't let go of Thorin. _

" _ Get off of me will you?" His tried to push her away, but his tries were feeble and she knew it. It was hard to admit that he felt strongly for his sister. He didn't want to show his emotions, but she had a way of detecting them in the air. Sometimes Thorin felt that she was able to sniff out his love for her even though he always declared the opposite. _

" _ We need to get back to Erebor. It is time for your sword training." Fundin said patiently. _

" _ No, I want to go and play in the valley of the River!" Dis' countenance turned annoyed as she released Thorin. _

" _ Actually me too." Frerin admitted and raised his brow at his sister who giggled after a momentary uncertainty as to his intentions. _

_ "Thorin unfortunately you cannot skip like them." Fundin said quietly, but there was a tone of warning in his voice. _

_ "I know." Thorin exhaled, already feeling the weight of the responsibilities that his father was bestowing on him, too heavy for his young shoulders. _

_ Fundin raised his brow. "Very well my Lord, we shall train together this evening." -Then he turned to Thorin's siblings- "You two can go play, but when you return to the city you'll have to explain your disobedience and Thorin's broken nose to your father alone. I am not helping you out this time. I am always digging you three out of trouble and that's enough." _

_ Dis bit her lower lip and gazed at Frerin who pursed his lips. "Okay Lord Fundin." _

_ Frerin pointed a finger at her. "I am telling our side of the story first!" _

_ Dis frowned. "No, me first!" _

_ "ME!" Frerin retorted and pushed past Fundin and Thorin, determined to make it through the heavy doors of the mountain first and Dis ran after him as annoying as ever. _

_ At that moment Thorin felt utter despair and anger at having to put up with his siblings, but also so much jealousy for being unable to join them. That he had to follow Fundin, that he had to train while they were allowed to play. He felt frustrated that everything around him, except from happy carefree moments like today, were a big -have to-. _

_ Fundin felt his bitterness and touched Thorin's shoulder gently. "I know you feel troubled. Everything happens for a good reason and you must accept that this is your destiny. Calm down and breathe Prince Thorin...breathe..." _

"...breathe King Thorin, breathe…" A soft voice repeated clearly.

He felt as if someone pulled him from underwater and he was just taking his first deep breath after centuries of laying comatose. His hands reached out to grab something for support and he found loving hands grasping back his. He opened his eyes and a magical beauty beyond words was looking down at him. Her long blond hair were pooling on his chest and her mouth was almost touching his as she whispered Elven words of magic.

He opened up his mouth to speak, but his chest welled so suddenly that tears choked him. The hands pressed him supportively. "Breathe…" the Elven Queen's flowery breath entered his mouth, forcing air through his lungs. The pain in his stomach began fading and his breaths became deeper and easier. Then sweat started running down his sides and back in thick rivulets. His body shuddered hard, before deflating and allowing him to close his eyes again. The comfort that magical presence offered him was so much appreciated after all those days of suffering that he wanted to allow it to consume him. When her enchanting voice spoke in his mind he opened up his eyes and looked at hers breathlessly.

_ You long for those innocent years so much. Only when your heart comes in touch with that long forgotten innocence then you shall be able to find peace Thorin Oakenshield. You are destined for great deeds, but your heart desires more. Do not fear the sickness for it lies far, buried with your forefathers. Rest your weary head King under the Mountain for your domain lies secure under your solid command….and don't be afraid to let go. When the time comes, let go of everything that holds you back and you shall find peace... _ her beautiful voice penetrated his very soul and his eyes filled up with tears that started cascading down his cheeks, mingling with his heavy sweat.

She smiled tenderly at him, caressed his bloody hair and he tried to speak to her. Tried to thank her for taking the pain and that boiling heat away. He wanted to tell her that it was difficult to let go...that he didn't know how to do it, but his mouth was unable to utter a single word. Only his lips moved silently and trembled before he closed his eyes once more. The dark tunnel was right there waiting to engulf him again, but this time it didn't feel like heavy blanket of nothingness overpowering him. It felt more like sleep was calling him into its blessed embrace and he was more than happy to listen to that call.

"He fainted again?" Fili's voice was trembling with worry.

"He rests..." Galadriel whispered and pulled back with a sweet smile.

"What must we do now my Lady?" Gandalf leaned on his staff.

"King Oakenshield's recovery will take time Mithrandir. His wound is deep and needs time, but he is out of danger. The Lonely Mountain is safe. Lord Elrond will be pleased to know that our defences in the North are secure." Galadriel smiled knowingly.

"The allegiance of King Thranduil to King Thorin is yet thinly balanced my Lady." Gandalf wised.

"He is still fresh from the grave and you speak about alliances. Have you no heart? He almost died….twice!" Dwalin roared and pushed back Gloin that hadn't released him during all this time.

Galadriel's kind eyes looked at the formidable Dwarf and that was enough to stop him dead on his tracks.

Y _ ou worry about your brother, but he is going to heal. He conquered the sickness, the sword and death. Let Mithrandir weave his intricate plans for the future, of which Thorin Oakenshield is a great part. Rest your worries for now great soldier. You have no enemies here…just friends _ . Y _ ou are not only destined to protect this illustrious King, but your name will soon escape the sidelines and shall be written down for great feats of bravery in the future. We have yet to see great things from you… _ her eyes twinkled kindly towards Dwalin.

The battle hardened warrior's features softened slowly and he withdrew from her and Gandalf avoiding their eyes. Not wanting to admit that Galadriel's words comforted him greatly, he returned to Thorin's side quietly and stood above him like an eternal guard.

"Whatever you said to him, it worked." Gandalf whispered at her with a knowledgeable smile.

"I must return to my kin. I am no longer needed here…" -Queen Galadriel gazed at the Dwarves who created a circle around her- "Proud people you are, of a proud race. Sustain your strongholds Durin's folk, for dark times are coming...unsettling times. A dark force is rising in the East that is not easily matched. It shall come after your gold and your allegiance. In the years to come, your defences of the North shall assist Middle Earth during its biggest struggle. If we are to give reign to the light, we all have to fight together…."

"If this Elven Queen means dealing with the likes of Thranduil…" Dwalin barked.

"Then so you shall Master Dwarf!" -Gandalf's voice dropped warningly- "This goes far beyond the life and death of Oakenshield or even his personal disputes and we all have to work together…so let us start from this day. Shall we?" the Grey Wizard looked at the bulky Dwarf with a raised brow of authority.

Dwalin pulled back grumpily and sat down next to Thorin. "Don't consider this an agreement from me."

"God forbid." Gandalf smirked.

"I have more important things to care of than your bloody plans for the future..." Dwalin spat.

"Do so then Master Dwarf and let me have my word with your brothers, for you are truly bothering me with your rudeness and I am very thin on patience!" Gandalf looked pointedly at Dwalin who remained silent and then beckoned Balin.

"Tell me Mithrandir" Balin wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve. The relief for the sudden twist on Thorin's health was too hard to keep hidden. Currently he didn't mind wearing his emotions on his sleeve, either for his company or for the Elven Queen.

"Fili you too, approach." -Gandalf looked at the Prince thoughtfully- "This is not the time for personal grudges, so let us concentrate! How much does Dain know? Thranduil or Bard?"

"Dain knows everything. He's been in some of Thorin's deliriums. Thranduil and Bard know nothing, but Thorin ordered Fili to negotiate the Arkenstone with the Elves." Balin said.

Gandalf seemed disheartened upon hearing this new information. "At it again, is he?" He whispered and many secret deliberations played behind his clever eyes.

"No you have it all wrong! My uncle wants to negotiate the King's Jewel with the White Gems." Fili sounded irritated at the demeaning tone of Gandalf's voice.

Gandalf's brows uplifted. "Indeed…does he now?" -He looked back at Galadriel who smiled knowingly- "That is such a pleasant surprise. Maybe this hard lesson was not lost in that stubborn head of his at the end of the day." He tilted his head and looked at Thorin with an affection that didn't go well with his words.

"Did you ever doubt him?" Fili placed his hands proudly on his waist.

"He made me doubt him a lot of times master Fili. Your uncle is not an easy ally." Gandalf rejoined quietly.

Fili tensed up at the repeated rudeness thrown towards his family, but Balin replied in his stead.

"No Dwarf is an easy ally to anyone Gandalf." Balin's tone was stern.

"I've learned that the hard way master Balin. Now as for the Arkenstone I believe the advice Thorin gave to Prince Fili was solid even though he was clearly delusional and that might have affected his judgment. You need to retrieve the stone, that is true. The Seven Dwarven Kingdoms shall be reunited only under the King's Gem and you don't have it." He looked back at the bed where Thorin was sweating profusely, but seemed to be sleeping quietly. His chest was undulating with deep and long breaths which served to soothe down the worry of his comrades.

"I agree with the grey wizard." Balin crossed his arms.

"Nevertheless I suggest you wait for a couple of days before starting any negotiations." Gandalf raised his brow.

Balin questioned him silently.

"Thorin is going to be in a better condition to take over the negotiations himself, or possibly give more clear orders." Gandalf tilted his head.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Thorin maybe a great warrior and an awe inspiring leader, but he is a very poor negotiator. Forget what happened at the gates?" Gloin shook his head dismissively.

Gandalf winced. "Hmmm, maybe someone else can take over then who has far better skills. Someone the Elves are fond off…" he looked around him.

"I don't think they like any of us…" Dwalin grumbled.

Gandalf's eyes fell on Bilbo who immediately paled. "Ah..no no no. Not me, not again!"

Gandalf smiled.

Bilbo frowned. "No and I mean NO! Enough! I won't get drawn into this game anymore. I will remain until my friend gets well. Then I will pick up my snatch and return to Hobbiton. You shall not drag me into another great scheme of yours Gandalf! Enough!" He raised his hand and shooed away even the thought of getting entangled again.

"Gandalf is right Bilbo, the Elves do seem to like you a lot." Balin smiled.

"No! Forget it!" Bilbo rejoined angrily.

"We shall see about that when the King wakes up. It is up to him to give the final orders and I wouldn't dare interpose his command as such a thing will backfire on all of us nastily. Now," -Gandalf raised his hand to call them all to attention- "there is another reason to postpone negotiations."

Fili frowned and looked searching at Balin who raised his shoulders.

"Princess Dis is coming and she is tagging along a whirlwind of anger and desolation for the loss of her son. She is going to storm through this stronghold like a hurricane and you better all brace yourselves. I would let things settle after her arrival and wait for Thorin to take over command, for only he will be able to handle her, although I partly even doubt that. Her anger will justifiably be pointed towards him also." Gandalf looked around with raised brows.

Fili shuddered at Gandalf's precise description of his mother. She would not arrive here in mopping misery for her loss, but with her head held high, conveying her nasty deliberations towards anyone who destroyed her family. Her temper and broodiness were even worse than Thorin's and everyone knew that.

"Alright then, let's regroup. Dwalin should I give you an order, or will it fall flat upon the stone tiles?" Balin asked with a careful smile.

"It will fall flat. I remain with him." Dwalin crossed his arms stubbornly.

Balin nodded. "There's one sorted then. Ori you can rest my boy. There is no need for anything else currently."

"Yes, I could use a bath and a proper bed." Ori said with a timid smile.

"Fili my lad, you also need to rest. You are still healing from your own wound. You don't want your uncle to see you exhausted when he wakes up, do you?" Balin looked at him.

"Don't patronise me. I am not leaving his side." Fili glared at the old advisor and crossed his arms looking equally obstinate to Dwalin.

Balin sighed in defeat. "There's the second one sorted then" -He turned to Bilbo- "How about you master Burglar?"

"I am not going to negotiate, you can get that one out of your head..." Bilbo took on the offensive immediately, as this occupied his mind constantly ever since Gandalf mentioned it.

"How about you going to get some rest?" Balin smiled.

Bilbo turned and looked at them warily for a couple of moments before feeling his shoulders deflating. "I could use a bath."

Balin nodded. "Go with Ori and he shall get you a room. Rest well."

Bilbo scratched his head and in an afterthought smiled. "Thank you."

"Gloin?" Balin turned.

"I am going to the treasury. I need to dig up the archives of that damned place. It is absolutely massive and everything has been abandoned for over a century! Who knows what still stands. I want to have a general idea before he wakes up, starts hurling orders and we all get into a bloody panic!" Gloin wised.

"That's a third one sorted then. Oin?"

The old Dwarf took his cone off his ear and closed his eyes patiently. "I will remain."

"Very well gentlemen. I suggest we all rest wherever we choose, because tomorrow the city will welcome female Dwarves for the first time in centuries and their head can be truly ferocious." Balin raised his brows.

Galadriel smiled sweetly at the white bearded Dwarf and looked at Gandalf. "No matter my need to meet and greet the female line of Durin, I must depart Mithrandir."

"I will escort you out my Lady." The Grey Wizard bowed courteously and offered her his hand.

Balin forestalled them. "My Lady we shall never forget what you did for us this day."

Her smile extended up to her mesmerising eyes. "Neither shall he ever forget." She nodded elegantly towards the King's bed.

"Come my Lady." Gandalf rejoined and she followed him out quietly.

Balin wiped away a few stray tears that had gathered around his mouth and gazed at the bed. Fili had leaned his forehead on Thorin's sweaty temple. He was muttering comforting words in Khuzdul while his expressions were alternating along with his emotions. His hand was interlocked around Thorin's forearm. When Balin saw Thorin's hand reaching up for Fili's forearm and grasping it tightly, his eyes welled up with fresh tears. Dwalin inhaled sharply and searched his brother's eyes warily.

"He will be fine brother...he will be fine." Balin whispered and Dwalin closed his eyes and nodded fervently.

Fili never stopped offering his beloved uncle affectionate words in Khuzdul, but when he felt Thorin's strong fingers pressing his arm, he declared openly how much he felt for him.

"Don't you dare leave me uncle. I love you..." Fili whispered.

Thorin was unable to answer, but Balin saw Thorin's imperceptible nod and how tears pooled behind his closed eyelids.

Balin's tears cascaded down his wrinkly face and he felt blessed that these were not tears of anguish and dread...They were tears of relief...

...for him, for Thorin, for Fili, for Dwalin...

Tears of solace for all of them...and they were so unspeakably precious.

 

 


	5. *While you sleep, dream of me

"My love?"

Fili heard the familiar and more than beloved voice through a sleepy haze that was too heavy on his pained body. He had fallen asleep right next to his uncle in the most uncomfortable position ever and only that voice was able to draw him out of that deep slumber. His wound was screaming in pain and his head was swimming with dizziness, but the warm embrace on his back felt was so affectionate that his heart skirted. He opened his eyes slowly and smiled sadly. "Mother?"

Her arms wrapped around his chest and her head pressed on his nape. "My darling boy….my boy….my boy." Her voice was broken and each word was coming out with difficulty as her hot breath scorched his skin.

His hands clutched hers almost in despair. "Mother?" he stuttered.

She held him tighter than before, close to her, protectively, not allowing him out to pull away from her caring arms. As for her worried fingers they felt around, traced, touched, searched. His face, his hair, his hands, his wound... "Where is it? Where did those filths hurt you my love?" She muttered with a flustered countenance that could barely contain her deep concern for the well being of her only surviving child.

His hand pointed at his back vaguely. Dis' demeanour plunged as her fingers offered a trembling touch to the bulge under his tunic. She inhaled sharply. "I am so sorry my love…please forgive me for not being there...I am so sorry..."

He turned around and pulled her in his arms with such need that they both began sobbing hard. "Don't..." He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes tight.

They remained like that enfolded in each other for a long time. Bali, Dwalin and Oin closed the door behind them respectfully and took Dain with them, as he was the one who had escorted the ladies up here. Eilin stood close to the fireplace utterly stunned, with her frozen fingers twisting firmly against each other, unable to draw her eyes away from the bloody face of the King who was laying still and completely unaware of the emotional turmoil that his family was going through, right next to his bedside.

Dis felt her knees unlocking from the burden that her soul was carrying and emptied her exhausted body on a chair next to her son. Then she drew Fili's head on her shoulder and gifted his sweaty temple with dozens of kisses meant to soothe his pain away. Her long elegant fingers were lingering above the tourniquet on his back, barely daring to touch him. Tenderly tracing the point of impact while she silently prayed for his health. She held him close to her bosom cradling him as if he was still a young dwarfling instead of a valiant warrior Prince, ready to sacrifice himself for his kingdom. She yearned to stop his tears, whilst she was unable to do the same for herself.

Eilin removed her eyes respectfully from the Princess and her son and turned them to the bedridden King, consuming every detail of his wounded and pale face. The moment they reached the grumbled gates of Erebor she was overcome by dreaded apprehension as she didn't feel ready to meet the legendary Oakenshield yet. She was simply unwilling to see the real face of this mighty King and destroy the imaginary picture she had created for him from the stories that her best friend Rhiannon told her during some cold and rainy nights inside a silent and still tavern. Mythical stories for the Old Kings of the Lost Realms whispered into the darkness while Eilin was drawing one of those epic Kings by the flickering flame of a weak candle light.

So when they entered the royal chamber she felt her breath catching and her heart constricting as the King she saw pale and sweating on the bed was nothing like she had imagined. He looked defeated from time and hardships. He didn't resemble the King whose bravery, proud stature and authority the bard songs were praising all the time. His handsome face, the trademark of the Longbeards was still carefully hidden under all those bruises, crusty wounds and wild hair. Still though it was nothing like the face she had imagined for him. Nothing on him, was even close to her drawings and that seriously unnerved her from the first moment she laid eyes on him. His resemblance to his sister was so uncanny that Eilin kept going back and forth trying to compare were these siblings conjoined and were they differed. She was certain that if this renowned Dwarf Lord opened his eyes their colour was going to be exactly like the Princess' and that, for some unknown reason, threw Eilin completely off balance.

Notwithstanding the King's poor condition though, Eilin was still very intimidated by his sleeping figure. His size looked truly formidable for a Dwarf and she felt her stomach dropping even at the thought of him being awake and standing up in front of her. Dis's concerned voice drew Eilin out of her intense observations.

"I need to check on your wound my son." She tried to turn her son around.

He took her hand and kissed it lovingly. "Oin has taken good care of me mom, I am well. Can you please believe me?"

Fresh tears adorned her broken countenance. "No, I cannot, I cannot believe anything good anymore." Her hand got buried under the covers and grasped the sweaty hand of her brother. Her eyes drifted onto his bloody face and she cupped her mouth. "I just cannot. Look at him..." She muttered and her head shook from the disbelief of what she was seeing in the stead of her mighty brother.

Fili threw his heavy arms around her shoulders and pressed his forehead on her temple. "He is doing much better mom."

Her eyes consumed her brother's broken face, as her tears streamed down her cheeks plentiful. "What have they done to you Thorin?" She whispered and her shaking fingers coasted gently around his bearded jawline. His once proud and clear forehead now was embellished with a deep wound that had bled down over his nose and was way too red and angry for his pale face. His skin was glistening under the light of the fire with sweat and his dry lips were parted, but his breaths were deep and calm.

Her palm cupped his bloody forehead and her heart jumped to her throat expecting to feel the consuming heat, but surprisingly his skin was cool. "Fever dropped?" Dis looked up sharply at her son.

"Yes, the Elves helped him. He had one leg dangling above the chasm of death and they revived him mother." Fili smiled, eager to convey how much better Thorin's situation was to his worried mother.

A sobbing exclamation escaped her throat and she wiped her tears with the back of her hand. Her forever strong and dignified brother was nowhere to be seen. This body here looked beaten up, weak almost destroyed. These blood crusty hair didn't resemble his long, wavy, black mane with the majestic silver streaks. Nobody could see his imposing and lofty stature as he was hidden miserably under all those quilts sweating every inch of the illness away. His beauty was concealed under this hideous pale mask of death.

"He looks awful…" -her breath hitched- "and he would have been mad if he ever heard me wounding his vanity." Her fingers touched his brow gently and moved to his temple to linger above that awful deep wound.

"Does it matter how he looks? He is doing much better…." -Fili pressed Thorin's hand fervently- "He is getting better by it's passing moment mother, that is what matters…" he whispered.

"That is him doing better?" She wiped her jawline angrily and sniffled.

"This is the first time since the battle ended that Balin and Dwalin felt comfortable enough to leave the room. This is the first time that I don't feel like his next breath is going to be his last. Is that enough to explain how dire his situation was before?" Fili's anguish filled eyes seared into his mother's.

She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her jawline. One hand became possessively tight on Fili's and the other on Thorin's. It took her several moments to speak, but when she did her voice was diminished. "I am sorry for everything you have been through my son. I shouldn't have send you on this trek. Thorin shouldn't have reclaimed this damned mountain. The treasure in it's bowels is cursed. This gold killed Thrain, Thror and my boy! It almost killed you and him…."

Fili's eyes filled with grief. "Too late for regrets mother. We must take care of the living now…"

She nodded and looked at her brother long and hard before leaning her head on his cheek. Her perfect braids picked up his blood as she rubbed her forehead against his temple. "Hey, big bad wolf can you hear me? I am here…." She pulled back the thick quilt to reveal a heavily sweaty tunic and a very bloody bed that made her knees weak. She squeezed her eyes tight and her hand levitated trembling above the dark maroon spot on his tunic. The scent of sweat and blood was heavy from him, but she didn't care. She wanted him to stain her. She wanted to share his pain and suffering. She wanted to be a part of it, like she had always been one of the biggest and most important parts of his life. "Did you almost manage your glorious exit this time?" She felt her tears mingling with his sweat.

Fili pressed her hand. "Someone stopped him, thank Mahal."

"I want to find that someone and kiss them for not allowing you to leave me, although I am sure you'd think otherwise if you knew how pissed off I am with you." Her nose flared.

Her brother's face remained unbothered in it's restful slumber.

"A honoured exit, sword at hand would have been preferable than having to deal with me after this huge mess up, right?" She humphed and her shaking fingers lifted up his tunic slowly. Her eyes though remained shut and her soul balancing on the precipice of a void at the possibility of facing what was hiding under that bloody tunic.

"He didn't mess up…" Fili frowned at her with a sudden need to protect his uncle.

"I don't know if I want to hug him till he opens his eyes again or kill him for taking away my son!" Her teeth gritted and the hand that held his tunic up began trembling heavily.

"The war took away Kili, not your brother!" Fili's eyes welled with frustration at how unjust his mother sounded right now.

"You cannot understand the pain of a mother…" she muttered and felt her throat closing down.

"I can understand the love of a brother though" -Fili looked at her with immeasurable sadness- "and he can understand the love of a father. Don't place such a heavy burden on his shoulders please. He will not be able to pull through from it." Fili pressed her hand beseechingly and searched for her eyes.

She felt her throat convulsing as tears sprang afresh. "I know…"

"He already blames himself…." Fili continued mercilessly.

She pressed her forehead on Thorin's temple almost angrily. "I am certain that he does…"

Fili closed his eyes defeated. "Then please let him be...Don't add to his guilt. He doesn't need that now. He needs all of us to help him pull through."

The silence from Dis was long and heavy. "Big bad wolf open your eyes and look at me." -She finally said and opened up her eyes slowly. When she saw the extent of the bleeding at the side of his torso and under the bed she felt like faint, but she gritted her teeth and wiped away her tears furiously- "What demon of Morgul did this to you my love?" She whispered and bit both of her lips, trying to stop their tremor.

"The same beast who killed our grandfather, Frerin and my father!" Fili's voice came blunt and heavy as steel to make her gasp for air.

Her body shuddered "Azog..." Her voice was barely heard.

Fili clutched her hand and lowered it until it touched Thorin's wound. "He avenged our family mother."

Dis choked. "Oh, heavens..."

"He avenged our family even if that meant him dying in the process. Touch his wound and feel it pulsate and bleed under your skin!" -He hissed and pressed her hand on the stained bandage until she felt the blood that was gathered there wetting her palm- "Feel his ultimate sacrifice for us all. He wasn't willing to live after seeing me fall to this filth and don't tell me you didn't expect him to lay down his life for me and Kili without a second thought."

Dis sobbed hard and gave her son a conquered nod.

Fili felt his heart slightly settling down after that. "Therefore keep your anger at bay mother, because this man here fighting for his life, is the best father me and Kili could have ever had."

Her words were released almost violently between deep moans of pain. "I know, heavens above I know..."

"Then keep silent…please…and show him your love and your respect..." Fili's voice softened and he retrieved his hand from hers.

Dis' palm remained quivering above Thorin's wound, counting his deep breaths. "I will my son…I will…" She whispered.

Fili stood up sharply and wiped his eyes clean. Then he started unravelling the bandage. "This needs to be changed." He said heavily.

Dis looked at her son with eyes full of sadness and then turned to her brother. "Hey big bad wolf want to wake up and scare me? I am not going anywhere unless you open your eyes and curse me out of your sight, like you always did when we were young, remember?"

When Fili removed the bandage completely her gaze fell on the petrifying diagonal wound that had torn her brother in half. It started right under his ribs and extended down to his belly button. Dis felt her heart dropping into an icy pool of terror and forced herself to speak, but her voice came out sluggish and heavy, while her eyes couldn't stop looking with dread at that horrifying gash. "I am sure you thought I was back in Ered Luin waiting for news. Little did you know that I was always right next to your doorstep in the Iron Hills all this time. I would have never remained behind Thorin, didn't you know that? Don't you know me by now?" She kept on asking, not expecting an answer, so when his deep voice replied quietly she looked up shocked.

"I do gerbil." He reassured her.

The cry that left Dis' mouth made Eilin visibly jitter, but it was the King's rich voice which seemed to be born from stone that made the maiden unable to hold her tears. The Princess fell on the King and enfolded him protectively, gushing all her love onto him. "Open your eyes to see me! Open your eyes to see your gerbil Thorin!"

He did and his bloodshot eyes gazed at her almost dreamily for a few agonising moments. Then his mouth formed a sweet smile and his hand lifted with difficulty until his fingers could touch the sideburns of her jawline. "You haven't changed a single bit." He whispered.

"You haven't changed either, my big kingly brother!" She was laughing and crying at the same time.

He licked his chapped lips and had a clear difficulty focusing on her. "What are you doing in this hellhole?"

She kissed the side of his mouth almost possessively. "Came to put your pieces back together you bloody fool…"

He huffed and instantly groaned in pain. "It won't be easy this time gerbil."

She frowned and caressed his forehead and temples gently. "You always aim to make my life hard, but I've got you. Trust me, I got you!" She reassured him lovingly and gave Fili a worried glance as he was trying to clean the wound.

"This mess is a bit tougher than you tending to my broken nose…" he trailed off and his dirty fingers run under her jawline and reached her chin.

She pressed her lips stubbornly. "I am here for you wolf no matter how hard everything might seem right now…I will make everything better for you, trust me!" She pulled his hand up and kissed his fingers.

"Gerbil?" he released an exhausted exhalation and felt his eyes closing heavily once more.

"Yes my love?" she licked her lips eagerly and and rubbed her cheek on his torn knuckles.

"Please forgive me…" his chest welled and he squeezed her fingers tightly.

"No..no…there is nothing to forgive..." She murmured quickly, trying to make him see her through his haze. Trying to reach him in some manner.

"But yet there is….there is…" He felt himself dozing off slowly once again. His hand reached out and grasped hers in a desperate need to remain there with her. To make sure that he was holding his little sister and that he was still alive. He needed to ask her forgiveness even if she never gave it to him.

"No wolf there is nothing to forgive. You did what you had to do…" She reassured him and caressed his cheek affectionately.

"I am sorry I lost him…" He felt his tears releasing hot and he was unable to stop them.

A pair of soft hands touched his chest and the warm voice of Fili made him cry even harder. "No uncle, no…don't do this please…"

"There is nothing to forgive, my love…You avenged my fallen son! You avenged our family and I am lucky you didn't get killed in the process….because if I ever lost you too, then I would die…" She cradled her brother's head under her chin and kissed his bloody hair.

His silent nod made her weep even harder. "Forgive me gerbil for failing my boy…"

"I love you my brother …Never doubt this. Never doubt me…" She stammered, feeling her heart breaking into a dozen pieces.

He wanted to reassure her that he loved her more than life, but the darkness made his mouth too numb and his body too heavy once again...as he faded away from them. Dis looked at his face sharply. "Thorin?!"

Fili shook his head and cleared his teary face. "He is resting."

Dis exhaled and fell defeated on Thorin's chest. She closed her eyes.

"Thank you for not overburdening him with more guilt..." Fili whispered.

Dis looked at him sadly for a few moments before she pulled up. Her hand caressed her brother's crusty hair and beard until she could trust her voice to deliver once more. Then she spoke to Eilin. "Go outside and ask Balin to show you the hot springs. Bring us up a clean bucket of warm water."

Eilin bowed to the ground and feeling extremely emotional from everything she had heard she went out and timidly asked for Lord Balin. When an elderly dwarf of white hair and a regal white beard came forth, she asked for the hot springs and he offered to escort her there himself.

* * *

The walk down to the springs was much more spirited than Eilin would have ever expected from this old Dwarf Lord. She followed his self certain footsteps down to the kitchens that were mostly dusty and abandoned, if you excluded one bench area that had been recently cleaned sloppily and one cauldron boiling above a steady fire in one of the twenty hearths that were aligned against the heavy stone walls. There Balin pointed towards two buckets and when she went to pick both of them up and carry one in each hand, he surprised her by stepping in and taking them instead.

She uttered a feeble "No, my Lord," but he elbowed her aside with a sad smile.

"No Lords here this noon girl" -His gaze was desolate- "Not after what we have all been through. Just a few honest folk mourning our dead and taking care of our living."

She didn't reply, but with renewed respect towards this wise Dwarf Lord, she followed his fast pace the best way she could.

They twisted and turned at least a dozens golden gilded staircases. Went in and out of endless, snakelike corridors that dangled above huge chasms that led to the centre of the earth. She lost all sense of direction and it was the breathtaking, but brief view of a vast chamber that glittered in bright gold, that only managed to make her stop to catch her breath.

Balin turned to her calmly. "The treasure vaults." His words were curt and held a melancholy that made Eilin frown under the hood.

"I'm slowing you down master, forgive me." She whispered and got ready to follow him again, forcing herself to keep her eyes away from that famous, but cursed treasure hoard.

Balin stood still with his eyes lost at the entrance of the abysmal golden chamber. "I cannot blame you for becoming so entranced. Who wouldn't stop to admire the unlimited treasures that our brothers dug from the deep through the centuries? The whole of Middle Earth covets this gold..."

She turned towards the rune-covered archways that felt forbidding to her and her gaze got lost at the golden hue that reflected against the polished black stone.

"Not even our Kings were immune to it's allure…" Balin continued and his tone turned heavy, saturated with a bitterness that even a stranger like Eilin was able to discern.

She was unable to find anything to reply to that.

"Except from one…" Balin's gaze turned thoughtful.

Eilin felt her nape crawling with apprehension.

"Yes, except one." -Balin continued his sad monologue and then looked at her. After a brief moment he offered her a ghostly smile- "Come on then." He said and continued down the staircase. She followed him while trying to forget his puzzling words about the Lords of this Kingdom until they entered the final archway, behind which the air was heavy with warm precipitation.

Balin looked at her and smiled. "We are very close to the volcano that sleeps under the mountain. Now take a bucket, rinse it thoroughly and fill it up with water." He added when they passed a pair of tall golden gilded doors and entered an immense black cave whose ceiling Eilin was unable to discern apart from the circular air ducts that led to the top of the mountain and allowed some dim light to break through all this darkness. The lake waters were equally black, seemingly impenetrable without any of the beautiful lanterns that adorned the walls being lit. Several places in the water were boiling and there was a large waterfall at the far end of the black lake, with water pouring plenty through a large gap at the stones.

"There is an underground river that runs through the mountain. It gets warmed up by the volcano and it feeds the waters of the various lakes in the residential caverns. The same river spews out of the mouth at the entrance and feeds the River Running, which shares it's refreshing dew with the Sea of Rhun, the Iron Hills, Mirkwood, Mount Gundabad, the valley of Azanulbizar and extends down to the land of Rohan and even Gondor. Our waters even pass through the Ash Mountains offering invigorating life to the filth that lays hidden there, but also to the west beyond the Misty Mountains. It travels through the Ettenmoors and Rivendell and it offers life to the magical forest of Lorien before ending up into the open sea." Balin explained proudly.

Eilin couldn't help but smile. "It feels almost as if Erebor feeds wisdom the rest of the world, doesn't it?" She asked.

Balin chuckled. "It is the starting point of a river that is meant to invigorate so many realms and so many people. If you want to call that symbolic, then I suppose in a manner you are right. Imagine how significant and heavy is the responsibility of this stronghold upon the shoulders of it's King then." Balin's demeanour became grave.

Eilin licked her lips and looked around magnetised by the words of Balin and by the importance of the Lonely Mountain to the rest of the world. She has seen deep forests one could get lost in, endless valleys and serene lakes that felt like a balm for a wounded soul. Angry rivers that threatened to take you away in their furious journey and the majestic open seas. She has seen villages of men and wonder cities build by Dwarfs who were such famous architects. She has even gotten a far glimpse of a few enchanting Elven realms. This though... this dark hot lake under the heavy solidarity of the Lonely Mountain impressed her more than anything she had ever seen, mostly because of Lord Balin's words about how important these waters were for the rest of Middle Earth.

Balin's lips turned to a lopsided smile. "You should see it in all it's glory when all the beautiful lanterns are lit up bright."

"It's so impressive." She whispered.

Balin kneeled down and begun cleaning his bucket. "Not everyone is allowed to use these hot springs though young lady. They are reserved for the Royal family, but you can have access to the various other lakes under the mountain."

She smiled.

"Come wash your bucket now." Balin said and resumed his work.

Eilin hurried up and kneeled a little further off. She rinsed the dusty bucket thoroughly and filled it to the brim. When she tried to pick it, it was so heavy that her hood fell back from the effort. She looked towards Balin's direction with wide eyes full of dread. One of her long reddish locks got caught between her lips and she didn't even dare pull it out. She was gazing with dread at the old Dwarf Lord, feeling the heavy bucket pulling her to the floor, or maybe through it with any kind of luck.

The shadows that covered this place, made her unable to see Balin's eyes clearly, but the silence that drew between them felt almost unbearable. With trembling hands she placed the bucket down and pulled her hood up quickly. "Forgive me, my Lord." She whispered, hoping that he hadn't noticed anything strange on her face.

Balin came over and thrust his chin at her sternly. "Pull your hood down". That sounded so much like an order that Eilin lifted two shaking hands and dragged half heartedly the hood away from her head. She quickly averted her eyes that found solace on her muddy boots.

"Hmmm, impressive lack of hair on your face, taller and thinner than your average Dwarrowdam, nevertheless undoubtedly belonging to our kin…" Balin spoke his observations neutrally, but that didn't make her feel at ease.

Her fingers twisted nervously around each other. "I am a bastard." Her voice was quiet, but the words were clear enough.

"I'd suggest you didn't use such demeaning words for your person inside these halls." Balin frowned.

"I am just stating the truth." She looked up at him shyly.

"I am sure you go around by other names, more appropriate..." Balin raised his brow.

"Eilin..." She muttered and her cherry lips cracked a timid smile.

"Nice to meet you Eilin. I will also suggest that you be careful not to let that hood slide off your head frequently, at least until this place settles down and it's head is able to take command."

She frowned. "I am always careful master. I don't want to offend anyone with my appearance."

Balin pursed his lips. "Oh, you don't understand. You are rather attractive and that might be dangerous when you are surrounded by thousands of frustrated men who just got off a war. Use that hood often when you are surrounded by soldiers." Balin wised and picked up his bucket.

Eilin felt her stomach dropping...Did that Dwarf Lord just call her attractive?

"Come on, pick up your bucket and follow me." Balin said nonchalantly and began walking out of the cave without waiting for her to get a grip on her emotions that seemed to be totally bewildered by his words at that point.

She frowned, picked up the bucket and followed him clumsily. She wanted to ask him how come he found her attractive when she was clearly not, but she didn't dare. She just followed as quickly as she could his military pace and ended up panting all the way up to the main hallways, where finally her loud wheezing made her drop her bucket and lean over to rest her hands on her knees.

He stopped and looked back. "Need help?"

She drew a deep breath and shook her head. "No, my Lord". She lifted the bucket with great effort and took a few steps more before it slipped from her hands and fell on the floor, spilling water everywhere.

Balin frowned. "We need that water lassie. I suppose waiting after a Princess isn't as physically demanding. Here I'll help you out."

She pulled herself up, forgot about the word attractive, gritted her teeth and pulled the bucket up with determination. "I can do it!" She spat through gritted teeth.

Balin pulled back and smiled. "Not only unusually attractive, but also stubborn. Very good."

She smiled feeling deeply embarrassed and came over to him. "Thank you my Lord."

Balin chuckled. "And strong as bull when she wants to." He rejoined and resumed his steady walk.

A small smile ghosted Eilin's lips and she gave Balin's back an amused look as she followed him up to the King's apartments.

The moment she entered, her amazed impressions of the treasure vaults and the hot springs got instantly overpowered by the heavy blanket of grief that had engulfed this room and all its occupants. She placed the bucket next to the Princess and waited patiently with her hands crossed.

"Come on wolf, we have to clean you. Fili take hold of him from other side." -Dis commanded and they began to undress him. Eilin pulled back and averted her eyes respectfully, while Dis started a small trip down to memory lane, in order to lure her brother back into consciousness- "Do you remember how you came to give me that name Thorin? Gerbil…do you remember how you got to name me? It was the same day I named you wolf….do you remember my darling?" She caressed his forehead and her voice aroused him slightly. He stirred under her fingers that were cleaning his wound.

She looked up worriedly at Fili. "Be more gentle." He told her and she nodded.

"You were in your teen years wolf and I was just a toddler…do you remember? That day is still so vivid in my mind…" Dis whispered and cleaned the wound on his forehead carefully.

* * *

"Lift up your arm and throw the bloody axe to the tree, Dwalin!" Thorin cried and pointed at the circular target Fundin had placed on a sturdy tree several feet away from them.

"That's what I am trying to do! Shut it!" Dwalin snapped and threw the formidable double axe on the target, almost splitting the bark in two.

"You would have been dead by now, you took too long to swing it across." Thorin chastised the slightly shorter, but equally wide boy that came up to him threateningly.

"Why don't you do it better then and get off my back!" Young Dwalin barked.

"Fine!" Thorin retorted and walked decisively to the target.

"Fine! I am getting tired of you always telling me what to do…" Dwalin crossed his arms defensively when he saw Thorin ripping the axe out of the target with enviable ease and marching up to him angrily.

"If that target was an Orc attacking you, do you think they'd wait until you weighed the axe and then measured the distance and the speed of the wind or what have you? They'd charge and kill you. Do it fast!" Thorin took on an authoritative tone.

"Fine then…an Orc is attacking you now!" Dwalin cried and pointed at the target.

Thorin didn't hesitate and the axe left his young yet mighty hand with way too much speed. It found the target right in the middle and gave the bark the final blow, which broke it in half. Thorin raised his brow and took a step back when he saw the tree falling to the ground. The sharp cracking sounds of the wood breaking as it fell made a flock of birds that was nesting on top fly away terrified.

"Hey wait a moment! It was not your blow that brought the tree down! My blow almost cut it in half before you even tried a throw!" Dwalin came up to him frustrated.

Thorin crossed his arms and flicked his shoulders. "We both brought the tree down, so calm down."

Dwalin frowned, taken aback. "We did?"

"Yes you bloody idiot…" Thorin said and made to go fetch the axe so they could try on a different tree.

"Oh, yeah, we both did I guess." Dwalin smiled smugly and walked after his best friend.

That is when the voice of Thorin's mom made them both stop and turn around confused. "Thorin, stop…!" She was walking quickly, holding Dis in her hands and when she reached her oldest son she was already out of breath.

Thorin came up to her wearing his usual critical frown that his mother hated so much and that his father felt so proud of. "What's wrong mother?"

The tall and beautiful Dwarrowdam pulled several blonde tendrils away from her eyes and passed Dis down to him. "Frerin is burning up and you know that. Your father is in a meeting with grandad, so I need you to take care of your sister."

"Mom come on! Why me again!?" Thorin asked exasperated.

Frái's gaze fell heavy on him and she raised her brow. "Didn't I just tell you why? Are you deaf young man or out to piss me off? Don't even try it today, cause I am not in the mood! Careful you don't get a thrashing instead of Thrain who left me alone with a bloody toddler and a kid burning up!"

"Why don't you give her to one of your maidens?" Thorin said angrily and looked down at his sister who was sucking her thumb vigorously. Her azure eyes were larger than life upon her small face. She giggled when their eyes met and his frown deepened.

His mom's wrathful finger poked his shoulder and send him two steps back. "Because as you very well know, our family does not allow outsiders to care for the children! What's in the family remains in the family and the older siblings take care of the younger ones!"

"Moooom…" he rolled his eyes.

"I need your help young man so stop moaning! Besides helping me raise your sister and brother will come handy in the future when you have your own kids. You're going to have a lot of experience and your wife won't get as pissy as I am getting at your dad right now! Doesn't that sound good?!" His mom wised.

"That's not even close to sounding enthralling to me…" He winced.

"Well who cares! You enjoyment at this moment is the last thing on my mind." -Frái thrust Dis' milk bottle in his hand and turned her back to them- "She didn't eat anything with me, so try feeding her now!" She raised her finger in the air in a silent waring and walked back to the golden city with quick decisive steps, leaving behind a musing Thorin who held Dis in his arms loosely.

Dwalin sighed and came up next to him. "She can be scarier than your dad sometimes."

"Don't you think I know?" Thorin said and sat down on a boulder, placing Dis on his knee.

"I suppose that's the end of our training then?" Dwalin sat next to him and began plucking out some flowers.

"Yeah unless I throw her on the target instead of an axe…" Thorin's lips turned up in a snarky smile and Dwalin laughed.

"Ah, don't worry we did well today anyhow."

"Go back home if you want, I'll join you when I feed this troll." Thorin pursed his lips and offered her the bottle half hoping that she would take it.

"She does look like a troll, look at how big her eyes are!" Dwalin leaned over.

Dis grabbed the bottle and rested her head on the crease of his elbow. Then she began sucking and rolled her eyes shut in satisfaction. Thorin looked critically at his friend. "No she doesn't look like a troll…"

"You just said she did!" Dwalin frowned.

"I am allowed to say anything I want about my sister, you are not…" Thorin warned.

Dwalin crossed his arms angrily. "Fine…but she does look weird with these huge eyes and small face…"

Thorin's lips turned up in a small smile. "Actually she looks more like a gerbil…"

Dwalin harked. "Yeah, gerbil indeed!"

"She's cute like that…" -Thorin mused and when he felt Dwalin's critical gaze he sobered up- "when she's eating or sleeping because otherwise she's a hell of a bother."

Dwalin pursed his lips. "Much like my brother Balin, I can feel you."

"You get to be the youngest son so you don't understand what I am going through. She and Frerin always end up in my care." Thorin frowned at the unfairness of it all.

Dwalin rested his hand on Thorin's shoulder. "Believe me being the youngest has its drawbacks. I never get to have my way and I always have to follow my brother's rules, which quite honestly most of the times are stupid!"

Thorin looked at him sideways and smirked. "I suppose we both have serious problems…"

"Don't you wish you were an only child sometimes?" Dwalin asked.

Thorin nodded. "Oh, yeah I do..." he looked down at his sister who pushed the bottle away after drinking half of it and now milk was spilled all over her mouth and chin.

"Disgusting..." Dwalin scrounged his nose.

Thorin shoved the milk bottle in the hands of an abhorred Dwalin and cleaned her cheeks and mouth with the end of his sleeve. "Finished gerbil?" He asked.

She giggled and tried to catch his beard braid with her small hands. "Be be wolth…be be wolth…" she mumbled.

Thorin smirked. "You want the big bad wolf to get you?"

She screeched and covered her face. Then she peeked under her fingers and giggled again. "Be be wolth!"

He raised his large hands and began crawling his way up her legs and round belly. "The big bad wolf is going to eat your belly and then he's going to come down and munch your small neck…" He brought his head on her neck and began rubbing his nose on her soft skin.

She went crazy. She began kicking and screaming and laughing like crazy. Her small hands got buried in his thick wavy hair and pulled away the silver bead that was holding them away from his face. Then she bit down on his leather arm band and screeched. "Be be wolth!" He ended up having all the saliva from her teething mouth on his forearm and just when he thought things couldn't get worse her burp was wet and close to his face, so he ended up having milk on his beard. Even Dwalin couldn't remain serious through all this and began laughing.

"Shut up you fool!" Thorin cursed and tried to wipe away the milk with the end of his sleeve when his friend elbowed him so hard on the ribs that Thorin cried in pain. He glowered at Dwalin, but the later pointed towards the road with a quiet tilt of his head. Thorin turned dishevelled as he was from his sister's treatment and felt his breath catching.

The bright April sun paled in front of the brightness of her blue eyes and he felt time stopping as her beautiful face turned towards them. The air lifted her long black hair in soft waves behind her back and his lips dropped open in admiration. Her eyes gazed straight into his soul and a sweet smile spread on her lips that ended up at the corners of her eyes. She waved happily and Thorin's hand came up on its own accord to wave back. He felt his chest palpitating and his stomach tightening with an anticipation that he didn't know how to label at that age. The only thing he wanted to do was look at the most beautiful face he had ever seen in his few years of life. He inhaled deeply, but the air never reached his lungs. It got trapped somewhere in his windpipes as she turned her head around and spoke to her father. He took her hand and led her away from them while Thorin remained there absolutely entranced out of his mind, with his sister fighting off his numb fingers and Dwalin salivating like a buffoon right next to him.

After a long time Dwalin spoke. "Wow…"

Thorin nodded dumbly. "Yeah…"

"Lord Cael's daughter isn't she?"

"Yeah…"

"She's so pretty…"

Thorin swallowed a very dry throat. "Yeah…" that was the only thing his youthful heart was able to conjure as Siv's perfect outline got slowly lost down the road.

"She actually waved at you, did you see that?..." Dwalin sounded equally mesmerised.

"Yeah..."

"So are we going to fight over her in the future or is your dad not going to find her a proper match for the next King?" Dwalin smirked.

"Who told you that she would choose one of us? Half of Erebor is after her!" Thorin asked.

"Because you are the next King and I am your best friend!" Dwalin puffed up proudly.

Thorin looked spellbound towards the path she walked on. "That will hardly be enough…she is way out of our league." He trailed off.

Dwalin hissed. "Cousin, I think you've fallen for her. Be careful she doesn't figure you out, because then you truly won't have a chance!"

Thorin frowned. "What?"

Dwalin pursed his lips. "When she's around, you act like a complete moron…"

Thorin's eyes flashed thunder. "What the hell!"

"Be be wolth…" His sister reminded him.

Thorin's shoulders deflated. "Did the most beautiful girl in Erebor just see me with your spit on my beard?" He asked his sister.

She giggled and grabbed good hold of his beard braid making him wince in pain. "Yeth, be be wolth…" She agreed not knowing what she was agreeing to.

Dwalin was laughing to tears next to him. "You should see your hair! Not a very attractive image for a future king….!"

Thorin showed him his teeth. "Shut up unless you want that axe buried into your spine next!"

Dwalin fell off the boulder from laughter and rolled amidst the fallen tree leaves, holding his belly.

Dis got off Thorin's knees and began tickling Dwalin and laughing at him. Thorin cupped his forehead and his eyes fell on the road that Siv took one more time. His heart throbbed with the painful certainty that the prettiest girl in Erebor didn't even care that he existed.

* * *

As he lay there between sleep and alertness, remembering how much he admired, so many years ago, the only love of his life with a childish innocence that had long been forgotten, he was unaware that someone else was equally admiring him.

Eilin took in a shaky breath…wounded mortally or not, this was not a simple Dwarf Lord, laying half naked in front of her. He had the appearance and the making of a true King. Far more impressive in his ill state than all those golden statues of his forefathers in the King's Halls. Feeling rudely intrusive, she quickly lowered her eyes and tried to calm down her galloping heart. How could she contain her nervousness when she was standing next to the legendary King whose name had been the equivalent of so many great feats of bravery? Having no real answer for that she turned quickly to the bucket and prepared clean cloths, trying to make herself useful.

"Help me pull him to the side." Dis grumbled.

Eilin joined her mistress as they all tried to steady him.

"He always had a big frame, even as a kid". Dis continued.

Eilin swallowed a rather dry throat, not knowing what to say. The King's body was crashed upon her bosom and her frail hands were trembling with the effort of keeping him steady, even though he was being held by the Prince from the other side.

"He used his big body to terrorise me and my brother to submission. The big bad wolf…" Dis smiled and changed the sheets, quickly and efficiently, as they rolled him from side to side.

"I thought it was his risky nature scared you the most, not his size. That is what you have always been telling us." Fili tried an honest, but exhausted smile.

She nodded. "Indeed, for he was a daredevil ever since childhood. Never listened to my father's orders unless they were for battle training. It was only when he turned sixty that he started noticing the etiquette that he had to follow as a member of the Royal family. Later still until he began understanding politics, which I think truly disappointed him."

Eilin frowned in confusion.

Dis continued almost in a monotone as she worked on him. "You are as oblivious of the dynamics in politics as he was it seems, Eilin."

Eilin's lips curled up in a perplexed smile.

Dis pursed her lips. "My brother thought that politics included honesty and intrepidity. Two virtues that had adorned his character throughout his life. Unfortunately these virtues don't belong in politics. That was a serious disadvantage for him, since he was to be the next King. He was using an iron fist and a heavy sword to control grandad's army and he was brilliant in that, but he didn't have an eye for diplomacy. Brave and honest he was. Fair to all no matter their status and that won people over to him. He became much beloved not only from the army he was commanding, but also from the common people, exactly because of that fairness, but that was not enough to make him a good politician."

Eilin nodded.

Fili smiled. "He still hates politics..."

Dis wiped some stray tears away from her eyes and placed the ointment on his wound as gently as she could. "I know." -When Thorin objected mildly Fili's steady hands soothed him- "Let us treat you uncle, please."

When Thorin settled down again, Dis pointed where his neck met his muscular shoulder. "See this here?"

Eilin saw a long and deep looking scar amidst all the fresh abrasions and blue skin.

"He took a perilously high dive into the river and tore his neck on some sharp riverbed stones, as part of a freaking bet! Frerin pulled him out of the water that had turned deep red. Don't even know how long I pressed his wound down feeling his blood spilling through my fingers, until my father came. That was the only time I saw dad truly scared…"

Eilin's looked up. "How old were you then my Lady?"

Dis looked at Thorin's closed eyes. "Too young to handle someone so big, but old enough to take care of my brothers when they needed me. You see mom never trusted any maidens or lieutenants to care for us. She always said that what happens in the family, remains in the family. We had to protect and help each other. Most of the times due to his age, Thorin was the one helping me and Frerin, but his daring nature made me his nurse in more than a couple of nightmarish occasions."

"Do you have any siblings?" Fili asked Eilin.

Eilin's mouth turned down. "I am not sure, my Lord'.

Dis looked at her fleetingly.

Eilin hesitation was brief. "I am an orphan. I know nothing about my parents."

Dis pressed her lips and gave her another neutral look before returning her attention to dressing up the wound. "Maybe you should view this as being lucky, instead of feeling as sorry as you sound."

Eilin confusion was palpable. "My lady?"

Dis looked down at her. "You don't have to ran after a brother who wants to prove himself resilient against death, repeatedly…"

Eilin's mouth upturned in a small smile.

"Or try to calm down your father who wants to thrash him with his heaviest belt for stealing King Thranduil's best horse and storming the woodland realm with it just to piss off the Elves." Dis winked at her.

Fili shook his head and snorted.

Eilin's smile brightened. "Did he earn another scar from that adventure?"

Dis' lips turned down. "That earned him a serious beating from our father and the honour of being inked with the rune of fierceness, which means he never regretted it."

Eilin looked down at his wide chest and saw various tattoos. Others had faded through time and others looked darker and more clear. Suddenly she wanted to know the story behind each and every one.

As her lady was busing herself with making Thorin as comfortable as possible, the bashful maiden decided to take the dirty cloths out to rinse them. A very authoritative Gloin gave her directions to the laundry rooms, which she found them after a long time. She rinsed the cloths in a large cavern that had another warm lake in it, but it's waters were not as crystal clear as the ones in the Royal hot springs. Then she returned and bypassing Gloin who looked at her with a critical frown she knocked on the door. Dis' voice allowed her to enter. She came in and kept her eyes stubbornly stuck on the elaborate stone panels with the golden borders that adorned the floor, and away from the bedridden King. She approached the fire and replenished it with fresh wood. Only the steady breathing of the King was heard in the chambers and she didn't dare interrupt the silence with any meaningless chatter. It wasn't long until she was addressed once again.

"I managed to persuade my son to rest, but I need to go to the burial vaults…" Dis' voice was a mere whisper and her skin had acquired a sick grey hue that worried Eilin.

Eilin bowed respectfully. "At your orders, my Lady."

"I need you to remain with the King and look after him for the duration of my absence." Dis' voice was hushed. It sounded empty of all strength, whereas a while earlier it was full of vigour and punch.

Eilin felt her stomach dropping at the terrifying prospect of being left alone with the King. "My Lady surely one of his bodyguards would be a more appropriate carer."

"They are soldiers. They took as good care of him as they could, but no one is a better carer to the wounded, than a woman. They don't have the gentleness of our hands or the nurture of our nature." Dis' voice warned Eilin not to make any attempts to slip out of this one.

Her head drooped defeated. "As you order, my Lady."

Dis gave her a curt nod. "I will return soon…" -She stood up looking more tired than Eilin had ever seen her. Now that she was alone with her maiden she had allowed herself to turn inwards for comfort as the sadness and fear assaulted her heart. She walked with heavy footsteps to the door- "Notify me the moment my brother wakes up." Dis looked at Eilin and for a brief moment a spark brightened up her eyes, which faded almost instantly.

"Yes, my Lady." Eilin curtsied to the Princess.

Dis gazed at her coldly for a few moments and then opened the door. Eilin looked at it closing with dread and when the lock fell back in place she visibly jittered. The silence of the room was heavy and ominous. His steady breathing didn't help her calm down at all. She felt the warmth of the fire burning up her cheeks and hands as she remained idle next to the hearth for what seemed like an eternity. Just when she felt herself beginning to sweat profusely, she decided to stop scaring herself and do her job. Just because she had never expected to meet the King of Erebor in her life and she was now ordered to nurture him, didn't mean that she had to remain standing next to the fire like a bloody imbecile, until she was cooked medium rare, right?

She scowled at her thoughts. "Right!" She whispered.

She lifted her eyes looked towards the bed timidly. The King hadn't move at all since she first saw him. It was not like he was going to open his eyes suddenly and scold her out of his presence. She looked at his candle lit face for a few more minutes before deciding that she needed to unglue herself from the hearth. She took off her hooded coat and felt her long red hair free falling heavy down to her waist. She crossed her arms protectively under her chest and approached the bed. She stood above him for several moments that rolled by in agonising silence and her eyes feasted on his features way longer than she had bargained for. The ability to observe the King under the Mountain with such insistent rudeness, scared her and exhilarated her at the same time. Who else apart from his brethren or kin was able to look at his face so closely? Especially someone like her. If they hadn't been forced into this unexpected situation, she would have never had the chance to meet him in person. He would be on his throne, surrounded by his court and she would be down at the kitchens.

Yet now…

….now she could see the angry red scar on his forehead and every inch of a handsome face that gained in sleep blessed peace. Something she supposed his face lost when he was awake, judging by the faint wrinkles of broodiness between his thick brows. It was as if she was looking at something forbidden under everyone's noses and that ignited a warmth of elation in her stomach, which in response tilted and twisted nervously more than once as she was observing the King's sleeping countenance. She frowned at her silly thoughts and shook her head with austerity after a few more moments of silent vigilance. Then she decided that she might as well make herself useful and she picked up a broom. It took her a long time to dust off all the surfaces and mop the floor, but in the end she wiped her brow satisfied with her work. It was inappropriate for the King of Erebor to sleep in such a dirty room, no matter how expensive the furniture looked, or how excellent the golden embellished masonry of the walls around them seemed and how artsy the mantlepiece of his large fireplace.

She approached his bed feeling her bone weary and still inexplicably skittish. Her hand lingering above his brow for a few seconds, but at the end the need to check on his temperature prevailed over her nervousness and her fingers touched a surprisingly soft skin. She frowned partly pleased to feel him cool and partly confused as her brain insisted that a Dwarf so old as this King should have a skin that felt like stone. She drew her hand back sharply and rubbed her fingers to eliminate the tingle that lingered on their tips now. She frowned down at the sleeping King and exhaled annoyed at the games her mind was playing on her.

Satisfied that there wasn't much else that she could do she approached the large balcony and looked at the setting sun, wanting a few moments to clear her head. Then her gaze darkened as she looked at the war zone under them. Hundreds of tents spread till the eyes and each of them was embellished by a small fire that had men all around. Here and there a song was heard from afar. A lament for the dead, or a hymn for the victorious. She felt herself calming down and only when her eyelids dropped heavy from fatigue did she close the window and returned to her seat.

This time with much less hesitation she touched his cool brow and feeling at peace with his state, she relaxed back to the chair and crossed her arms. This was going to be a long wait, but she wouldn't have given up her place for anyone at that moment. No matter how nervous this arrangement made her, she also appreciated it beyond count. As she closed her eyes her well formed lips began chanting a song her employer used to sing at the tavern she was raised in. A soft, almost too perfect voice came out of her throat without the need for any musical instruments to accompany the nice melody.

"While you sleep… dream of me,

I'll be keeping our memory,

Living in my heart and soul

Waiting for all the days…

When we will be together again,

Carry me to my love

All I see is the clouds above,

Where I know he is waiting for me…" *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song:* Eurielle - Carry me


	6. *Dreams or nightmares?

"While you sleep… dream of me,

I'll be keeping our memory,

Living in my heart and soul

Waiting for all the days…

When we will be together again,

Carry me to my love

All I see is the clouds above,

Where I know he is waiting for me…" *

-.-

A song, yes there was a song coming from afar, but he didn't know if it was inside his dreams or the real world, where songs were now laments for the fallen. Melodies full of despair and anguish that reminded him of the loss of his boy and of his own affliction. How useless his body was now as it lay there above sweaty sheets, being enveloped in dirty clothes that stuck upon his skin like leeches while his crusty and hard hair felt like dry weed on his face, poking the gaping wound on his forehead mercilessly each time he wanted to move about a bit. In the world of dreams he could be as strong and youthful as he chose. In the real world half his body felt like it belonged to someone else since it was painless, while the rest was burdened with a throbbing pain that tore his already confused mind, apart.

If he had to choose he'd stay in the worlds of dreams. No...scratch that, if he had a choice he wouldn't have ever returned to this world, in order to live inside a torn body that didn't have enough strength to make him open up his eyes, never mind function properly. He didn't know what kind of hell brought him back to life when he had almost touched the hand of his father, but he wanted to curse them to the underworld. No one asked him if he wanted to return...no one cared what he wished for. He had sacrificed himself for his family and for his people. He had reclaimed this land and his life ended. He wanted to move on, he wanted to rest, but they didn't allow him. They tore him away from that magical peaceful moment with his father and threw him back on earth violently. Now that he was here he had no choice but to face his sister about her loss and about how much he failed all of them. Here he would have to face himself for all his failures of the past. Reality was the place that would force him to fight the demons of his forefathers and the nightmarish reality he had created for himself by all his wrong choices. Why did he ever decide to reclaim his homeland perchance? Was it to soothe down the spirits of his forefathers or to satisfy his own needs?

He could have remained behind in the Blue Mountains, writing a requiem for his life and searching endlessly for his long lost father. Still everything else would have remained intact and prosperous in his Halls. Dis and her boys would have been safe and alive now. Thorin's company...The quest for Erebor...the mighty plans for revenge...everything got crushed under the immense grief he now felt for his nephew. Everything looked bleak and uncalled for after Kili's unnecessary sacrifice to Erebor's cause. His mighty plans for revenge now seemed so empty and he could only mock them with endless bitterness. He accused Thranduil of egotism as he merited the Gems of Lasgalen more than his family, but hadn't Thorin done the same thing for the Arkenstone? Were he and the Elven King as different as he had always hoped, or more alike than he'd ever like to admit?

Here in the world of reality awakening seemed terrifying, more so than dying by the sword of Azog, because here he had to face his sister, his brethren, the seven families, the immense fortune of the Lonely Mountain, the King's Gem, and above all himself...and that last part he dreaded the most. It wasn't as if all these years he hadn't been able to live with what he did in the past, but his focus was always pointed outwards. He was always concerned with the safety and the well being of his people, the protection of his family's most sacred secret, the ruling of his Halls, finding his father, lamenting his dead and finally the quest to reclaim a homeland.

Whilst now? Now his focus would eventually turn inwards and he feared what he would see forgotten inside the darkest corners of his mind.

He was not sure he wanted to return to the reality this song was calling him back into with that enchanting voice. He was not sure he wanted to wake up again and look at the tormented face of his sister. Returning back to their childhood days when he cursed the bloody rodent out of his sight whenever she was pissing him off, felt so much better. In the real world, she was not the happy go lucky black haired devil that he wanted to choke anymore. She was a broken woman who had lost husband and son, father and brother and he had to face the destroyed part of her. That scared him and saddened him beyond measure. Not only could he not mend his beloved sister anymore, but he had caused another big piece of her to shatter. It was hard seeing her fall apart because of fate, but causing her this hurt himself was truly unbearable. He was supposed to be the only one left to take care of her and her children after everyone else died. He was not supposed to cause more grief to her...yet he did exactly that, with the worst possible way and he couldn't forgive himself.

As the song continued it's canorous journey in his mind, he thought that maybe in the world of dreams that melody could enliven all those memories that he had loved and cherished, giving him a much needed break from the reality he so much dreaded. So he allowed himself to fall back in the world of dreams where everything was better, as long as those dreams carried on as dreams and didn't become blood curdling nightmares...

As he had already drifted away once more, he didn't hear the voice stopping it's singing and asking him worriedly as he began twisting nervously, deeply affected by the dreams that he was seeing. "What is it my Lord are you alright? What is it..."

* * *

_Thorin reached back and took her small hand in his, but he felt the hesitation. He stopped and looked at her. Her beautiful hazel eyes had a shadow of doubt. He frowned slightly in protest. "What is it?" He whispered. His quick breathing released puffs of precipitation in the air between them and so did hers._

_"I can't come…" she pulled her hand away, but her eyes smiled at him._

_He bit his lower lip. "Why not?"_

_"We are not engaged yet!" She looked around her quickly, the fear of being found was obvious in her voice._

_He grasped her forearm this time. "We will be, soon enough!"_

_Her lips became tight , but she didn't try to pull away from him again. "You know your father will never accept you to marry the daughter of a sword-smith."_

_"Siv, I am a sword-smith, and it's my choice whom I will wed." His azure eyes blazed as his wide palm tightened around her forearm._

_Her gaze remained troubled on his for several moments before something seemed to give up inside her. "No it's not…" She whispered. Her free hand climbed up his shoulder and her fingers tunnelled lazily through his hair. "It's not your choice, my love..." Her tone turned sad._

_"If you are implying that I don't have the courage to take control of my life…" He frowned._

_"Have you told King Thror about us yet?" She interrupted him._

_He swallowed uneasily and looked at her lips._

_"You haven't." She smiled sorrowfully and her fingers drew soft circles under his hair, raising goosebumps on his skin._

_"I will!" his arm wrapped around her waist and drew her to him possessively._

_"When Thorin? We've been meeting secretly for two years now and we've been longing each other much longer." Her fingers tightened in his hair angrily._

_"You know I need to find the right timing and with the dragons that have been attacking the stronghold…" He tried, but she spoke over him again._

_"You are procrastinating, because you know he is going to refuse us."_

_He tightened his arms around her and then his lips were on hers, soft, but also demanding, taking her in a deep kiss that made her eyes close in bliss. The words "I love you" were whispered on her mouth, with the same passion and need that his kiss so openly declared._

_She nodded and felt her eyes tearing up. "I love you too."_

_His hand cupped the back of her head lovingly and he drew his lips on hers, trembling with the feverish need of youth to become on with her. A need they both shared equally. A need that had been brewing all this time, always unstoppable, difficult to control, until they both gave up under its immense pressure repeatedly hidden in the darkest shadows of Erebor. "I will tell him Siv, believe me. I cannot live without you…" He whispered and his voice was vibrating with all the fiery emotions that were burning him from the inside out._

_Her hand caressed his cheek gently. "I cannot live without you either, Thorin...but you are the only one who can help us". When she opened her eyes a few tears cascaded down her cheeks that had blossomed a vivid pink colour from his wild kisses._

_"I will my love. Believe me I will". He drew her head under his neck protectively and his eyes filled with unbidden tears._

_"My father is suspecting that something is going on with us. He has asked me many times and I keep refusing. If he ever finds out that we have been meeting secretly he is going to go and face your father. He doesn't care that Thrain is the King's son or the bearer of one of the Rings of Power. Thorin, my father will demand reprimanding. I don't want us to come down to this." She spoke quickly, needing him to understand how dire their situation was._

_"I shall not let it come down to this, on my word of honour!" He rejoined gravely._

_His smooth palm covered her jawline and her fingers clawed the fur neckline of his coat as they kissed hidden under the alcoves of the stables for a long time, when suddenly a pair of hushed voices made them pull apart._

_"Thorin?" Her voice whispered in terror as her eyes searched for the newcomers._

_"Hush..." He enfolded her close to his chest and kept her head under his chin, as he tried to identify the voices that were coming from the other side of the panel._

_"What the hell Frerin, are you mad?!"_

_Thorin's eyes blazed and his brows came together in annoyance. That was the voice of his sister, and apparently she was there with his younger brother._

_"I will take Missy out for a ride, you mark my words!" Frerin declared._

_"Dad is going to kill you!" Dis cried._

_"He will do no such thing, because he will never find out! Unless you tell him, you little snitch!" Frerin spat vehemently._

_"I would never tell on you!" -Young Dis moaned and sniffled- "I am just scared you will kill yourself. You don't know how to ride these big war rams yet!"_

_"You just see if I don't!" Frerin thundered and opened up the door of a large black ram that looked absolutely terrifying._

_"You are doing this just to impress Mevola!" Dis hurled at him when she saw that her pleadings were not working on her stubborn brother._

_Frerin stopped with his hands on Missy's reigns. "No I am not!" He snapped._

_"I know what you've been up to with her in the kitchens! You want her to see you riding this monster and be dazzled, don't you?" Dis grumbled._

_"Have you been spying on me?" Frerin rejoined furiously._

_"No, I just happened to come across you two kissing, which was ultimately gross!" Dis' face twisted in disgust._

_"I hope you won't tell dad, because I will stitch your mouth shut, I swear! Not even Thorin will be able to dig you out of this mess!" Frerin glowered at her._

_"I won't tell anyone, but please stay! You are going to let your bloody hormones kill you. I don't want to pick up your pieces from the fields!" Dis rebuked._

_"You won't have to!" Frerin hissed and jumped on the ram with a royal attitude that would have muted even his father._

_Dis gritted her teeth. "I am not going to tell dad, but I am going to tell Thorin!" She tried to intimidate her younger brother by using the name of her older one._

_"Don't you dare speak a word, or else…"_

_"What? Else what? You are going to break your head out there you fool!" Dis crossed her arms and looked at him with derision._

_Frerin grumbled angrily and kicked the ram. The beast thundered out of the stables raising a cloud behind it. Thorin caressed Siv's jawline with his thumb and looked at the residue of dust as it settled down slowly. His woman tightened her arms around his body and kissed his thumb gently._

_She raised on tiptoe and pulled him down from the lapels until her mouth was grazing his ear. "Shouldn't you attend to your little sister?" she whispered._

_He swallowed heavily and shook his head. Then he remained silent until he heard Dis' quick angry steps stomping out of the stables. They didn't speak long after they made sure the place was empty. A long exhalation that arose from his chest animated Siv who stirred inside his arms._

_"Why didn't you go to her?" She looked up to his face._

_"Because I have you in my arms and I never want to let you go." He offered her a loving smile that made her nibble her bottom lip._

_Her fingers traced his long beard braid briefly before wrapping around it and using it to pull him down to her. "You know if my brothers saw us like this, they'd fight you to restore my honour."_

_"I'd fight them back and then restore your honour in a heartbeat." His finger coasted along the softness of her cheek._

_"Would you do that truly?" A shadow of doubt flickered on her face._

_He lowered his head until his lips were touching hers. "Never doubt that you will be my wife Siv." -Then he pecked her once softly- "Never, ever doubt me." He whispered. One of his hands reached the back of his head and retrieved something from his thick mane._

_She frowned in confusion when he took two long strands of hair from her temples and drew them back. Then he clipped his golden bead on them and pulled back in order to admire her. "Simply beautiful." He smiled proudly._

_She felt her cheeks firing up as her elegant fingers traced his bead. "Thorin this is…"_

_"It bears the sigil of the Longbeards my Lady. Wear it proudly, until I can honour you with a ring bearing my initials instead. I will talk to my father this weekend." He bowed and pulled her hand up in order to offer it a gentle kiss._

_Her eyes sparkled and she embraced him hard enough to knock the air out of his lungs. He laughed then, but his laughter was stopped short as she claimed his mouth in a kiss that was so open and fierce that he yielded every resistance to her. As the sun began setting, their shadows emerged from the alcove and drew long on the ground that was painted orange from the majestic colours that ruled the sky that afternoon. Their shadows remained one as they dashed to Erebor, holding hands...they were always one….they never separated..._

_...until…that fateful day..._

* * *

His need not to remember what happened with Siv was what finally drew him back to the world of reality. His body felt numb and so incredibly heavy, that he was unwilling to move at all. His mind was still saturated with his dream about Siv while his ears stretched to hear that magical song once more, but it was to no avail. It had apparently stopped. It didn't take him long to remember exactly where he was and how badly wounded. He remembered every word he spoke with Fili and Dis. He remembered the beautiful Elven Queen chanting her words of magic close to his face and lifting away the consuming heat that was luring him into that dark and dreaded corridor of nothingness. He even remembered nightmarish fractions of his final moments up at Ravenhill, when he decided to pull away his sword and allow that beast to finish him. His ferocity when he retaliated was not only a vivid memory, but in comparison to all the rest it still send a flow of adrenaline rushing through his veins.

What he couldn't remember was how his comrades managed to stop his heavy bleeding or how they brought him back to life, because he had left this world, for that he was certain. He had seen Thrain at the end of a bright tunnel smiling at him. He was almost touching his father when suddenly he was thrown back to this earth bleeding and screaming in pain, looking very much like a newborn. The tight stretching on his pained skin revealed that he had probably been stitched up at some point, but how they managed to do that was thankfully a mystery to him. He moved his fingers around the bed to search for his sister's or nephew's hands, but found none close by. His brow rippled with uncertainty and his crusty hair once more teased his angry forehead wound. Suddenly the need to have a drink began colliding violently with his need to find enough strength in order to lift his hand and push away his damned hair so it wouldn't scratch his torn skin anymore. He gritted his teeth and made a serious effort to get his hand above the quilt and lift it up to his face when his fingers brushed close to something that felt similar to fur. He traced around it and he caught up a sleeve, for a moment forgetting the need to clear his face. "Siv?" He whispered and then cringed painfully.

No, not Siv...

He hurried to correct this slip of his tongue. "Dis?"

"The princess has gone to see her dead son, my Lord." He recognised the voice. It was the same one that had been singing before.

"Fili?"

"The prince is resting, do you wish me to alert him, my Lord?"

He shook his head and opened up his eyes slowly. A slim figure enveloped in very long red hair was leaning above him. She hadn't removed her sleeve from his tight grip. "Elves again…" He exhaled with certainty.

"No my Lord, I am your sister's maiden." The voice reassured him and then a petite cold palm landed above his hand and he shuddered. "Worry not, I am here to assist you."

He licked his chapped lips and closed his eyes. He released her sleeve and tried to touch his hair in order to clear them, but his fingers landed on his bearded jawline and remained there useless. Suddenly he felt his chest welling and everything bothered him to the point of madness. The sweat on his skin felt too sticky and his clothes and quilt too heavy. He felt that if he moved one more time and his leather trousers rubbed against his hot skin he would go crazy. The puncture wound on his foot was throbbing angrily every time the quilt rubbed against it and every single move he made tickled his gaping forehead wound so much that he wanted to bust out of his skin in order to escape this misery. The same melodic voice broke through his nightmare in order to remind him of the maiden's presence.

"Let me help you, my Lord." She said and lowered his hand back down, making all it's slow and painful progress be for nothing. Suddenly he felt angry at her too, without being given any reason.

"Don't touch me!" He snapped and she pulled away quickly.

"I am sorry, my Lord...please forgive me." Her voice sounded hushed and utterly terrified.

Thorin exhaled furiously through his nose, but didn't know whom he was angry most with. This maiden who didn't even know how much she had stalled his progress, the dreadful situation of his broken body or himself for being unable to handle his own skin at that moment? He remained there feeling his jawline flexing and his nose flaring, unable to move his hand up to his forehead and with an intense need to drink some water for several moments before he admitted defeat. He didn't open up his eyes when he spat between his gritted teeth. "Can you clean my forehead?..."

The silence betrayed the hesitation across from him.

He pressed his lips and tried again. "Can you get my damned hair away from my wound?..." Before it drives me insane, he wished to add, but he thankfully refrained.

He heard the light footsteps approaching the bed. "I have to touch you in order to do that, my Lord." The voice stated the obvious while the fear was clear in it's tone.

"Do so then..." He opened his eyes. His vision was still blurry, but he was able to discern her thin figure and her white skin.

She couldn't have been more fearsome and reluctant to touch him, but when she did he barely felt her fingers skimming past his sweaty skin. When his rough hair finally released his wound he exhaled loudly and closed his eyes. He nodded his gratefulness. "Thank you..." his voice sounded hushed.

Eilin pulled away from him respectfully and crossed her hands in front of her apron. "At your orders my Lord." She whispered. The King had not only been tormented by obvious nightmares in his sleep, he had also woken up in a nasty mood and the poor maiden was ill equipped to deal with the wounded egotism of a broody Thorin.

"I need some water." He said after a long pause and this time his voice sounded less assertive.

"Of course, my Lord. Give me a moment." She curtsied even though he didn't see her.

His eyes closed heavily, but his ears followed her light footsteps across the room. He heard the water splashing in the mug and his stomach did a somersault just at the prospect of tasting it. The footsteps shuffled quickly back and the same clammy, small hand lingered above his nape. "Am I allowed to touch you?" The soft voice questioned.

He tried to inhale deeply, but the pain that awoke in his stomach made his eyes water. He nodded quickly. "Yes..."

"I need to lift you up a little bit, okay?" The anxiety was obvious in her tone.

He understood how difficult it would be for someone to lift him up so in an effort to take partial control of his severed body he leaned his elbows on the mattress and tried to push up while her hand cupped his nape and drew him. Unfortunately though they barely managed a good job between them. When the cup touched his lips, he didn't have the opportunity to sip any, as most of it spilled on the side of his neck and wet his pillow.

"I am so sorry my Lord, I will clean it immediately!" The small unsure hand released his nape and his muscles clenched instinctively in order to keep him up, which was the most unwise thing his body could have ever done. The pain that tore through his stomach was so severe that he lost all sense of the world around him. He cried out in anguish and fell back to the bed defeated. His body twisted and turned in a desperate need to stop the pain, but he couldn't find solace anywhere. He cursed his need to ask for water in Khuzdul so rudely that poor bewildered Eilin blushed down to her toes.

She tried to calm him down. "My Lord, please stop! You will break your stitches!"

He barely heard her as he struggled blindly for a few moments before two surprisingly strong hands wrapped half way around his wide wrists. Their unexpected touch was enough to stop him from struggling against her momentarily.

"Still, be still, you are making the pain worse!" -Eilin tightened her fingers around his skin- "Now open up your eyes and look at me!"

He did so, but her face was blurry and the pain…the pain was beyond endurance. Then her voice returned again soft, yet commanding enough to keep him grounded.

"You don't know me my Lord, and I know you only from the tales spoken about your courage, but I am here to help you!…No!…Look at me, not the window!…" She shook his hands in order to bring him back to her as his eyes were turning glazed from the anguish.

He turned to her and tightened his teeth aggressively towards a new wave of intolerable torture that awoke from his body.

"I know what it feels like to be torn apart from the inside out! I know what it feels like to hurt and not be able to stop it! How it feels like to feel weak against the pain…" her voice faded and her brows furrowed as her eyes seared into the deep azure colour of his.

He blinked once and her face slowly came into focus. He groaned as he tried to ride another painful wave, but he didn't try to remove his eyes from her piercing stare.

"The pain will eventually stop. It will not last forever, my Lord. Even the worst pain doesn't last forever..." her voice was hushed and then as if through a dream he felt the most strange sensation. It was as if her forefinger was trying to clumsily caress the inside of his wrist.

He frowned at his wound's screaming waves that collided so brutally with the soft contact of her fingers, but that confusion lasted only briefly in his pain ridden mind. Eventually it got trampled ruthlessly under the agony that persecuted him. Still though when he began fading away from her once more, the small pressure of her fingers on his wrist was enough to pull him back and have him concentrate on her face.

"Breathe…in and out…just breathe and keep your body still. That's it…" She cooed.

His eyes fluttered and he offered her a defeated nod.

"Is it better?" She asked.

He swallowed heavily. "Yes."

"If you don't twist your body around violently, the pain will mellow down. Okay?" Eilin said softly.

His face twisted in agony once more. "Yes." He repeated.

"My name is Eilin and I must ask your forgiveness, because what happened just now was my fault. It was hard to lift you up on my own, my Lord. I should have asked for help." She said quietly and he heard the honest regret in her voice.

He felt his lips turning into a ghostly half smile. "Gentler next time…"

She closed her eyes and lowered her head. "I will be much more gentle next time my Lord, I promise."

Another nod came from him and also a deep exhalation of relief as the painful waves came further apart now that he had partially relaxed. "I still need some water." He remembered.

"May I be allowed to inform the Princess so we can both try to lift you up?" Eilin asked without realising that she was still holding his wrists.

"No, leave her with Kili. Find Dwalin…" He whispered and tried to draw in as much air as his lungs allowed before his stomach began complaining again.

When her hands released him he felt the cold air hitting his sweaty wrists. He heard her quick footsteps and then her melodic voice once more was there to ground him. "Immediately my Lord." When the door opened up, he heard voices outside for a few moments before Balin rushed in, followed by Dwalin.

"Are you alright son?" The old advisor leaned above him and caressed his clear brow.

Thorin nodded. "Some water please." He whispered exhausted.

"Can you please help me lift him up? I am afraid I managed a poor job out of his considerable weight and I caused him too much pain." Eilin filled the porcelain mug with fresh water.

Balin pressed his lips and looked at Dwalin who rolled his eyes and wrapped his arm under Thorin's shoulder-blades. "How could you even think that you can lift this man up? Why didn't you call on us immediately?" He snapped.

Eilin drew back respectfully and looked at her boots. "An error on my judgment my Lord, forgive me."

"Dwalin it's okay." Thorin grasped his friend's hand and Dwalin looked at him with a frown, that quickly melted into a smile.

"Are you alright?" His best friend asked with tears edging his eyes.

Thorin reciprocated as much of the smile as he could and nodded feeling spent. "Do I look alright?"

Dwalin raised his brows. "Oh, you have no idea. Right now you look brilliantly well!"

Thorin huffed and then groaned as a new, but much less intense wave of pain galloped through his torso.

Dwalin pressed his hand and frowned. "Steady...don't laugh."

Balin smiled at Eilin. "Don't give my brother any notice dear girl. He is always out to scare everyone apart from Thorin. Now bring me the mug." -He turned to Thorin- "Come laddie we'll help you up." Balin placed his arm under Thorin's shoulder-blades too and with Dwalin's help they lifted him up to a seated position easily.

Balin took the water from Eilin's hands and brought it to the King's mouth. The moment Thorin's lips touched the drink his body convulsed with the need to devour it, but he forced himself to consume slowly and prudently. He was not in a hurry to repeat what just happened, through a coughing fit. When he had enough he pulled his head away and looked at Balin. "Thank you."

Balin smiled and sat on the bed next to him. "You cannot imagine how happy we both are to see you awake and well."

Thorin closed his eyes. "I am hardly feeling well Balin." He murmured.

Dwalin sat on the other side and clasped his hand. "How is the pain?" His voice was troubled as his hand reached out to touch Thorin's forehead in order to check on his temperature.

Thorin exhaled and closed his eyes. "Hardy bearable."

Balin pressed his hand affectionately. "We have nothing to give you in order to soothe the pain laddie..." His tone was regretful.

Dwalin raised his brow. "Maybe we can feed him some mead."

Balin looked at his brother sharply. "Oin would probably kill us if we ever suggested such a folly."

Thorin's lips upturned into a faded smile. "Alcohol would probably help..."

Dwalin chuckled. "Glad to see part of you is back with us."

Balin huffed. "Don't encourage him with such hogwash. He cannot have alcohol now. His stomach is torn from the inside out."

Dwalin waved him away, bothered. "Oh, give us a break, will you?"

"I shall not! We are here to help him heal, not make him worse!" Balin warned sternly.

Thorin pressed his hand. "I won't do anything that I am not allowed Balin. Calm down."

Balin sighed and caressed his hand firmly. "Do you remember anything from what happened son?"

Thorin shook his head slightly. "No."

"Do you remember when we brought you back from Ravenhill?" Balin leaned over eagerly.

Thorin shook his head.

Dwalin cleared some hair away from Thorin's temple. "Do you remember what happened at the King's Halls?"

Another negation from Thorin and Dwalin's face settled down. "Thank heavens." He mouthed and Balin nodded across from him.

"I only remember the view of the valley and the eagles flying free above it." Thorin whispered.

Dwalin's eyes smiled. "That's a beautiful memory."

Thorin's eyelids cracked open weakly. "Did I die?"

Balin and Dwalin exchanged a long guarded look, before Balin answered a heartbroken. "Yes."

Thorin swallowed a pained throat and nodded. "How did I get back?"

Balin looked at Dwalin who averted his eyes and looked at his hands. "Gandalf intervened."

Thorin sighed and closed his eyes. The silence was long drawn from him and the brother's looked at each other troubled for several moments before Thorin gifted them with his rich voice once more. "And as always he never asked, did he?"

Balin's brows furrowed and his hand pressed the King's. "What do you mean my boy?"

Thorin forced himself to open his eyes. "He never asked if I wanted to come back, did he?"

Those words made Balin's tears release, Dwalin's face to blanche and Eilin to look up sharply.

Thorin's lips curled up in repugnance.

It took several heavy moments for Balin to reply to that. "Lad please don't..."

Thorin shook his head. "I won't...that's enough."

Dwalin cupped his chin and looked at his friend's face in grief. "Thorin..."

The King grasped Dwalin's hand. "Forget it. Please lay me down..."

The brothers did so carefully and Thorin exhaled in obvious relief. "Thank you."

Balin covered him up and caressed his forehead, taking care not to touch his wound. "You are still weak..."

Thorin cringed and gritted his teeth. "I am torn apart Balin...I can barely breathe never mind resume command of this bloody kingdom... I am more than weak...I am almost over." He spat with obvious hatred towards his dire condition and to Gandalf's decision to bring him back.

Dwalin clasped his forearm and held it tight, but remained silent.

Balin forced himself to smile. "You are doing very well my lad. You are well on your way to recovery. The pain might still feel awful, but this is the first time we are able to have a full conversation without you being utterly delirious!"

Thorin looked at him wearily. "I was delirious?"

Balin nodded sadly and Thorin turned his expressive eyes to Dwalin. His brow clouded. "Did I speak of any names?" He asked with a hushed tone that was full of trepidation.

Dwalin shook his head slowly. "No brother you didn't."

Thorin relaxed back and his eyes fell shut again. He gave them a soft nod.

Dwalin gazed worriedly at Balin who shook his head. Then he addressed their King. "Were you having nightmares?"

Thorin's lips pressed and so did his hand that Dwalin was cradling. "Dreams...I see dreams...so vivid...it's as if I am in them." He whispered.

"What kind of dreams?" Balin asked.

Thorin frowned and forced himself to look at his advisor. "Tell me is Gandalf still here?" He asked, deciding to overlook Balin's interest in his pain induced dream, which he didn't want to share with any of them.

Balin gazed at Dwalin briefly and then collected himself and bowed his head. "He has escorted the Elven Queen back to the Woodland Realm."

Thorin's gaze burrowed in his only too heavy. "Keep him away from Erebor." A dark shadow slowly covered his brow.

Balin frowned. "Thorin he saved you! Hadn't he been here you would have been dead by now!"

"Hadn't he been here I would have been resting and my boy would have still been alive!" Thorin grumbled and instantly hissed as the pain tore through him.

Dwalin clutched his forearm and caressed his head. "Steady...calm down..."

Balin inhaled sharply, not knowing what to say to this solemn, but honest declaration. He felt all the blood draining from his face.

It took Thorin several moments to ride out the painful waves, but when his spoke, his voice resonated heavily on the chamber. "Gandalf is banished from the grounds."

Balin cupped his mouth and looked at Thorin with dread. "He helped us through this trek…"

Dwalin snapped. "Leave him alone for heaven's sake, don't insist! He told you what he wants!" But his intervention was not enough to stop Thorin's deeply rich voice from reverberating upon the gilded walls with stern authority.

"Gandalf was the one who gave me the key, he was the one who led me to this trek…" He stopped and observed his friend with a fiery gaze that wouldn't accept a rebuke easily "…and this trek caused me to destroy what has remained of my family Balin."

"Thorin, don't do this to yourself." Balin's eyes filled with grief.

Thorin shook his head. "Remember what you told me back at the Shire?"

Balin's pallid face gave him an unwilling nod.

"I didn't have to do this, Balin. I had secured a good life for all of you back at the Blue Mountains. You've been right my friend, but my greed consumed my logic and I ended up losing my boy." His fingers tightened around Dwalin's and his friend pressed him back reassuringly.

"Thorin...don't..." Balin tried.

"I've sacrificed everything that was ever important to me for nothing. Everything I ever loved got forfeited for this city and for its treasure. Now I lost my nephew because of it. I shouldn't have returned. None of this should have happened and it all began from Gandalf. He found me, no chance meeting, and he stirred my life until it was upside down. I was out to find Thrain and I ended up destroying my sister, Balin. Half of her is dead and it's all because of him!" -He hissed and tried to pull back his anger- "…because of me…"

"You are too hard on yourself and on the grey wizard…" Balin made another try to break through to him.

Thorin wouldn't have it though. He looked up and for a moment his glazed eyes became sharply focused. "Keep Gandalf and his scheming away from Erebor. That's an order." His voice deepened darkly and his brow wrinkled.

Balin nodded and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. "Will do Thorin."

The King leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "Tell Gloin to open up the treasury." He rejoined.

"Man is sharp as a needle. He knew you'd wake up full of oomph and he has already done that." Dwalin smiled.

"Has Dain secured the perimeter?" Thorin asked quietly.

"Yes."

"How about Dale?"

Dwalin raised his brow at Balin meaningfully and answered instead. "You want us to send troops there? We only have a skeleton army after all the loses."

"Have you counted the dead yet?" Thorin's azure eyes turned on his bodyguard.

Dwalin shook his head. "No, but the enemy has more than us, I can vouch for that."

Thorin nodded and pressed his lips. "Extend the protection over Dale."

Dwalin pressed his hand. "At your orders."

"I hear rain." Thorin frowned and his eyes got lost at the grey clouds in the sky that were visible from his prominent balcony.

"It has been raining non stop for three days and nights." Balin rejoined.

"Ask Dain to secure the borders and then break camp. I need everyone to lay down their arms and pick up their trades. Give the soldiers homes and food...anything that is currently available. Balin, keep record of each man's trade and assign them as appropriate. I need men to reignite the furnaces, to rebuild the gates, to handle the water works and to hunt. I need masons to rebuild sturdy impenetrable barricades at the holes these filths had dug up in order to march their army here and that is imperative to happen as soon as possible." Thorin spoke quietly, but with every drop of acuity in his mind, currently present.

Balin beamed down to Thorin. "I am on my way right now!" He stood up eagerly, but Dwalin stopped him.

"First smile I saw from you in a while." His voice was more emotional than he had bargained for.

Thorin turned to Balin also.

"I never expected him to survive this brother. Never mind witness him take over command so quickly again. What's not to be happy about? Listen to him. He is alive, well and giving orders!" Balin said proudly and his eyes overflowed with tears.

Thorin reached out and Balin clasped his hand. "Thank you for everything." His voice cracked.

Balin held him tightly. "We are the ones that should be thanking you my boy for everything you have done for our kin ever since Smaug attacked Erebor. Thank you for everything."

Thorin closed his eyes feeling more emotional that he had wished. "Dwalin, get your brother out of here before I break down in front of strangers." His voice was hoarse.

Eilin's lips turned down and her fingers twisted around each other nervously. She averted her eyes and acted like she was deeply involved in reviving the fire in order not to burden this company with her presence.

Dwalin laughed knowing how playfully that was meant from his best friend and rounded the bed to get Balin. "Come on old man, time to eat something and rest. Tomorrow we all have a lot of work to do. King's orders!"

Thorin closed his eyes and before sleep returned to claim his pained body, a ghostly smile appeared on his lips.

It was that faded smile that Balin admired for several more minutes after opening the door. Finally his eyes fell on the maiden who was messing around the fire. "You shall remain girl?"

Eilin abandoned the fire and stood up. She curtsied and bowed her head. "Yes, my Lord. Princess Dis ordered me not to let the King out of my sight." She said gravely.

Balin nodded and looked at his brother. "Very well."

Eilin bowed her head and didn't raise it again until the door closed behind them. Only then did she gain enough courage to look with ever-growing trepidation at the King who was sleeping serenely once more. She gazed at his closed eyes and remembered their vivid azure colour. He had indeed the same magical colour as his sister, but his gaze held a different gravity altogether that unnerved her to the outmost, as did his voice. She was not in a hurry to have these intense eyes searing into her soul again soon.

She sat at the chair next to his bed and crossed her arms patiently above her thighs. Then her eyes got lost on his face and remained there for what felt like an eternity. She stood still and silent, long after the laments under the balcony had seized and only the soft tapping of the rain was heard echoing inside the silent and dark pillared hallways under the Mountain.

This time she didn't feel the need to break that holy silence with her singing...

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Eurielle - Carry me


	7. *Where the crows rule

 

* * *

_"Take off the blindfold and come down now!" Dis stomped her foot on the ground demandingly._

_Thorin held his heavy battle sword in one hand and revealed one annoyed eye. "What the hell do you want Dis?!"_

_"Missy broke a leg. Dad knows and now Frerin is going to get a thrashing!" Dis rejoined quickly._

_"How did that happen to Missy?" Thorin revealed both azure eyes and threw the blindfold down._

_"Frerin has been riding her secretly…" Dis nibbled her bottom lip and suddenly all her furious drive got grounded hard. She avoided his eyes and began surveying her fury boots._

_Thorin jumped off the battle stage and towered over her with a lingering look of authority that could easily overshadow his grandfather. "What?" He pretended to hear about this for the first time._

_Dis's cheeks caught fire. "I was going to tell you!"_

_"When?!" He snapped and threw his sword on the ground with such force, it got embedded deep and vibrated for a few moments there between them._

_Dis looked at it and paled. "Thorin…Ι was going to tell you!"_

_"You lie." He hurled at her coldly._

_"Please…." She began sniffling._

_"You kept Frerin's secret from me, now you get him out of this." He rejoined and turned at Dwalin who was looking at them amused._

_"Finished Thorin?" The bulky dwarf asked._

_"Yeah." Thorin shook his head dismissively._

_"Dad is mad at Frerin. He is going to hurt him!" Dis' threw her hands in the air._

_He inhaled deeply. "So I have to come and clean up your mess?"_

_"Yes, like I have done for both of you many times over!" His sister placed her tiny, but formidable fists on her waist and looked at him murderously._

_He raised his brow. "Deal with it yourself. It's just a war ram for the love of Mahal."_

_"I tried, but dad is really angry. He doesn't listen to me, but he will listen to you!" Dis pleaded._

_Thorin took off his fighting gloves. "I have more serious things on my mind than you and Frerin's idiotic escapades with the stable animals," he grumbled._

_That gave Dis a pause of indecision. "Look I know you have been burdened with a lot lately. With the new commandeering of the army and with the training of the soldiers and with your personal training…."_

_"And with the loose dragons that's been circling around Erebor for several months now…and with the orcs that are roaming the forests who seem to gain courage and ground night after night…" He raised his brow at her and felt already exhausted, even though it was barely midday._

_Dis inhaled deeply and looked partly regretful for bothering him with this. "You have a lot on your mind, I know."_

_He raised his brow provocatively._

_"But he is our brother….and dad is mad….and…" Dis took a step closer to him and grasped his forearm._

_"You have to grow up at some point Dis. You and him…I won't always be there to clean up after you." He said and the darkness of his words made her brows wrinkle. Dwalin who came up and stood behind him, frowned upon those words also, but kept silent._

_"I know." She lowered her head regretfully._

_He looked at her for several moments sternly, but finally his shoulders relaxed and he sighed in defeat. "Where are they?"_

_Dis looked up and her eyes brightened. "In the Throne room! Grandad is with them!"_

_Thorin raised his brow at Dwalin who nodded knowingly and then led their way into Erebor. He walked tiredly, uncaring about his little sister's tries to make him go faster. Soon enough he was walking the long bridge that led to the throne._

_Thráin was standing in front of a kneeling Frerin with his arms crossed. A look of disapproval was on his tattooed brow. His long hair and beard enveloped his face, which was broken with lines of worry that had been dug up through difficult years. Behind him the great King Thror sat under the Arkenstone, with his heavy diamond golden frilled armour and his long beard full of precious stones. He was looking definitely bored, or maybe half asleep. The sentinels at his flanks were as always, immovable in time. Only Fundin got animated when Thorin entered with his small escort._

_"My Prince." He bowed respectfully._

_"Fundin..." -Thorin's natural baritone reverberated into the wide columned chamber. He stopped right behind his kneeling brother and looked at Thráin- "Father." He tilted his head in respect, but engaged his dad's stare firmly._

_His father replied with a curt nod._

_Then he turned to Thror. "My King." His tight fist touched his heart and he bowed his head._

_Thorin's call seemed to reanimate the King. "Ah, my boy, what news of the outskirts?" He asked as if no special family matter was taking place in front of him._

_"Yesterday we didn't have any raids." Thorin replied quietly._

_Thror seemed pleased with that and resettled on his throne. "Very well, very well. I didn't expect those cowardly filths to try again so soon after last week's slaughter."_

_"My King with all due respect, as this was not meant to be a military report, but a family issue between me and your grandson…." Thráin said with a respectful voice, which held a tone of steel in it, but was stopped by Thror's angry intervention._

_"Might as well inform your older son of the issue at hand, since he is here!"_

_"What issue?" Thorin crossed his arms casually._

_"Thorin don't act as if Dis didn't run at full speed, in order to bring you here to stop your brother's thrashing." Thráin warned._

_"I did no such thing dad!" Dis yelled defensively._

_"Then how the hell did Thorin arrive with such perfect timing, especially when I had ordered him on battle training this morning?!" -Thráin retorted and then his eyes fell on Dwalin- "Tagging along his trusty Lieutenant who was training with him?" He finished with a raised brow._

_"Dad!" Dis spat. Her cheeks were red and her eyes wide._

_"Really she told me nothing, but anyone can fill me in on this mess...since I am here anyway..." Thorin flicked his shoulders indifferently._

_"Can we all stop pretending that we don't know what's going on and end with this charade?" -Thror spat and stood up from his throne- "I really have better things to do that sit here and watch you thrash your son about a bloody ram…" -he moved with slow deliberate steps away from the throne room grumbling angrily all the way- "As if my mind isn't burdened enough, I have to bear witness to your inability to handle your sons. For Mahal's holy beard, one of them is to take over this throne and he is already becoming sarcastic with the lot of us…and WHO can blame him…we are a bloody menagerie." His voice became dimmer and dimmer as he left them. The two sentinels and Fundin followed him, so the throne room was left to the family and Dwalin._

_Thorin sighed deeply and looked at his boots. "That went well." He murmured under his breath._

_"What did you expect him to do? Sit around while we pull each other's beards out?!" -Thráin gave his older son a critical gaze. Then he looked at his daughter- "Why did you run after Thorin? Him coming here won't change the fact that Frerin messed up one too many times!" -Dis hid behind Thorin and felt her face blanching. Thráin directed his wrath to Frerin- "You are going to get a good thrashing son…my best ram! You took her without telling me. You rode her to paths you weren't trained to handle and now she is as good as dead!"_

_Frerin covered his head terrified. "I am sorry dad!"_

_Thorin clasped Frerin's shoulder and stepped forth, placing his immense presence between his brother and his father. His beautiful eyes met Thráin's murderous look calmly. That gave his father pause._

_"You will stand up for him?! Stand aside!" Thráin commanded._

_"I wouldn't have stood up for him, if the fault was indeed his." Thorin replied quietly._

_Thráin frowned. "What?"_

_Thorin threw his eyes to the floor defeated. "Frerin didn't ride Missy into Thranduil's accursed forest."_

_Thráin's eyes thinned as did his patience. "Who did then…?" The warning was lingering in his voice._

_Thorin didn't take any notice of it. "Me." He rebuked and tilted his head slightly._

_Thráin lowered his chin and pierced him with a blazing stare. "Don't do that..."_

_"I messed up Missy. I rode with her into the forest, like I had done in the past with Thranduil's horse. Now let Frerin go. He had nothing to do with this." Thorin's shoulders squared against his formidable father._

_That was the first time that Frerin raised his eyes up to his brother and they were full of tears. "Thorin no..." He whispered._

_The look Thorin gave his brother was austere enough to make Frerin avert his eyes quickly and his crying to intensify._

_Thráin's eyes danced between the three of them as he was trying to keep himself from exploding, counting inwards until his wrath had abated. Deep down though a small spark of admiration awoke in front of this selfless act from Thorin, not that it was the first one that he was witnessing. Instead of feeding his anger further on with Frerin and the lies they were telling him, he decided to use this opportunity to speak with his older son, about things that truly mattered way more than Missy. Deep issues that he wouldn't have had an opportunity to talk about unless Frerin had messed up as royally as he did._

_Still his anger towards his mid child needed to be addressed. Maybe though he could do it later when he was calmer. When the penalty wouldn't be as big as he had originally intended. He looked at Thorin with renewed admiration as he stood calmly in front of his brother and he felt proud. If his son stood up so selflessly for everyone in the Kingdom, then maybe their kin could regain its former glory with him as a King. Maybe Thorin stood a chance against the sickness that run in their veins. His eyes darted at the path that Thror took when he left them and he shuddered. Inhaling deeply he crossed his muscular arms across his wide chest and raised his brow at Thorin, wanting to let him know without words that he knew exactly what was going on._

_The small tilt of Thorin's head was enough to clear up that quiet understanding between father and son. Then he addressed the rest of them with a deep voice that resounded upon the statues of their forefathers. "Everyone OUT!"_

_Everyone did as he commanded. They scattered quickly across the bridge, not looking back once. All except Dwalin who looked protectively at Thorin for a moment, before following the others out._

_"Everyone but you…" Thráin's eyes thinned on Thorin._

_"Do you see me go anywhere?" Thorin smiled._

_Thráin raised his brow. "Don't think for a moment that I don't know what you did."_

_"I know you do."_

_Thráin's lips twitched and his shoulders relaxed fractionally. "Why didn't you let me thrash Frerin for his mistakes?"_

_"I think he is going to learn more from what just happened, than from your beating." Thorin rejoined quietly._

_"He is going to learn that you will always be there to defend him!" Thráin rebuked and his single fierce eye glowered at his son._

_"So what's wrong in knowing that your brother will always be there for you?" Thorin smiled at him._

_"You forget the rule of action and reaction. You didn't allow him to take responsibility for his actions." Thráin shook his head._

_"Want my opinion?" Thorin raised his brow._

_"Always..." Thráin said and beckoned him closer._

_Thorin walked next to him. "I think Frerin was seeking the attention of a woman, that's why he acted so unwisely. Not that his mind at times is not made out of straws."_

_Thráin smirked and nodded curtly. "Know who she is?"_

_Thorin shook his head. "No."_

_"Lying again?" His father mouth toyed with another smile._

_"I think it's his secret to divulge." Thorin flicked his shoulders._

_Thráin gazed at his son long before he spoke solemnly. "You won't always be there to help them out son."_

_Thorin's brow shadowed. "I know."_

_"Let Frerin handle the repercussions of his actions then." Thráin's voice was strict._

_"Not for this reason father. Not because he decided to mount your royal ram in order to impress the woman he loves. Didn't you do stupid things to impress mom? Didn't granddad catch you? Not even once?" Thorin looked down at his father as he was several inches taller than all his family members._

_Thráin put his hands on his wide belt and smiled. "Oh, I did some pretty stupid things for your mother. And Thror did catch me, because unfortunately I didn't have an older brother to cover up for me."_

_Thorin smiled. "Well…there you have it."_

_A strong hand landed on his shoulder. "Don't think I let Frerin go because I felt sorry for him or that for a moment I believed your bullshit."_

_Thorin's brows furrowed._

_"I did it because I admire the way you stood up for him." Thráin's voice filled with said admiration._

_Thorin huffed indignantly, but remained silent._

_"Stand up for everyone in Erebor like this and we shall see a worthy King on that Throne under the Arkenstone, soon." Thráin's fingers tightened on his shoulder._

_"Father I wanted to talk to you about that…" Thorin hesitated._

_Thráin frowned. "What about?"_

_Thorin drew away from him and Thráin's hand fell empty to his side. His brows creased deeper and his eyes sparkled with sudden worry as he saw his son pacing in front of the glorious throne. "What is it my boy?…" he murmured under his breath. Obviously whatever it was that his older son wanted to communicate wasn't easy. Considering how prudent Thorin was, this was making Thráin rather uncomfortable._

_Finally Thorin stopped and turned around. His features were carefully controlled, but his beautiful eyes were blazing under his well formed brows._

_"You are worrying me..." Thráin didn't know if he wanted to hear whatever was backed up by these eyes._

_"If I retract my right to the throne, it is Frerin that will take over correct?" Finally the words were out of his mouth._

_Thráin raised his brow and his head tilted to the side. "What are you talking about?"_

_Thorin raised his hand. "I am talking theoretically. If I retract my right…"_

_Thráin's voice boomed into the huge cavern. "Who is she!?"_

_Thorin frowned. "Please listen…"_

_Thráin reached him in two steps and even though he was shorter than his son at that moment he looked much more menacing. "Who is she!?" He repeated._

_Thorin glared at him and his jawline tightened. "Siv."_

_Thráin inhaled deeply and his nose flared. "She's one of the Blacklocks, isn't she?"_

_Thorin found himself silently nodding. For someone who was dedicated to marry this woman, he didn't seem so bold right now in front of father's dawning wrath. "Yes."_

_"Daughter of Lord Cael. He is the master swordsmith." Thráin's lips curled up in disdain._

_"Yes"._

_Thráin's single eye seared through Thorin's for the longest of time, before he spoke once again. "I knew I shouldn't have send you down there to learn the craft. I have seen what's been going on since you were children, but I chose to ignore it."_

_"You are acting as if I am sick." Thorin looked at him abhorred._

_Thráin raised his finger threateningly. "You just -theoretically- gave up your right to a throne that all seven families offer their pledge, because of a woman! You are the heir of Durin!"_

_Thorin frowned and took in a deep breath that he didn't release._

_"Silence? We both know that any kind of formal bond to any kind of woman would destroy the dedication I need you to show to this throne and the Arkenstone!" Thráin thundered and pointed at the aforementioned precious jewel._

_"It's her rank, isn't it?" Thorin spat._

_"No, it's not!" Thráin retorted._

_"I know what you are going to say." Thorin tried to take the offensive, but his father was not allowing him._

_"No you don't." His father glared at him dismissively._

_"Father I love her!" Thorin felt infuriated by his father's dismissal and fed his courage with those negative waves._

_"How long has this been going on?" Thráin turned his back at him._

_"Two years now." Thorin looked at his arm bands not knowing why he was feeling guilty of saying what should have been said years ago._

_"And you are ready to give up the throne for her?" Thráin's voice was slightly shaking under all that steel._

_"Yes, if I cannot share it with her." Thorin raised his brow._

_"All that for a woman…" Thráin muttered._

_"Not just any woman. I love her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her." Thorin felt exasperated that his father was unable to understand him._

_"Have I ever denied you anything son?" His father turned to him and his single eye looked broken._

_That made Thorin pull back and remain silent._

_Thráin pressed his lips under his immense beard. "Bed this woman if you must, keep her for yourself, but don't bring her near the throne and for the love of Mahal don't ever plant any seeds!"_

_Thorin shook his head angrily. "What other reason apart from her rank would you have to deny me the right to marry the woman I love?"_

_Thráin approached him and grabbed both his shoulders. "The problem is not marrying low in rank son. You must not marry at all!"_

_Thorin's frown deepened. "Father why?" He felt hurt beyond reason by his father's words. Hurt and confused._

_Thráin licked his lips in uncertainty._

_"You were allowed to love, my sister and my brother are too. My grandfather…also. Why not me? Why are you so unfair to me?" Thorin asked and felt his eyes watering and didn't try to stop them as he didn't care showing his emotions to his father._

_Thráin's eyes shadowed and Thorin saw that this was affecting him as much. "Because we have to break this curse. We have to break this sickness and you are our best chance son."_

_"I think you are just making up excuses!" Thorin spat._

_Thráin pulled back and looked at the Arkenstone. "You cannot marry Thorin, because we expect a lot from you. You cannot be consumed by a family. You have to keep all your might and all your brains concentrated on the Throne. Let the breeding to your siblings and take over the Seven Dwarven Kingdoms according to your birthright, because your grandfather is not well...not well at all."_

_"What are you talking about?" Thorin felt bewildered._

_Thráin's large fingers encircled his upper arm. "Follow me and I will show you." He led his son way deep into the bowels of the earth, passing through corridors and long bridges silently as they walked towards the pillared vaults of the treasure rooms. There he stopped at a balcony and pulled Thorin next to him. King Thror was down there, amidst his mythical gold. Touching it, smelling it, talking to it. Seemingly lost into a world of his own. Laughing like crazy as he swirled around, then stopping abruptly and whispering at it secrets that no one was allowed to hear._

_Thorin swallowed a suddenly dry throat and felt like he was seeing his life waving goodbye at him._

_"Your grandfather is being consumed by the gold sickness..." Thráin muttered._

_Thorin couldn't take his eyes away from Thror. He remembered well the stories his father told him about the sickness that ran in their family. How susceptible they all were to it. Thorin knew, but had pushed that sombre knowledge to the darkest corners of his mind. Why was now Thráin reminding him of this? He was not ready to face any of it. Not now that he had Siv in his life...maybe not ever._

_"You know which sickness I am talking about Thorin. It's in our blood and I fear it is slowly taking over him. I haven't trusted this to anyone but you, do you understand?" Thráin asked him._

_Thorin nodded silently._

_Thráin touched him above his iron plated forearm band. "I know how it is to love a woman, son. It's the most beautiful and fulfilling emotion in the world and you are so worthy of it, but there is no one else. Don't you see?"_

_Thorin swallowed and felt his heart sinking in cold darkness._

_"It's you who will take over the throne and your grandfather needs your help. He needs our help. We must hold this secret sacred and keep a very close eye on him at all times. Remember what he did to Thranduil with the Gems of Lasgalen?"_

_Thorin turned to his father with a heavy stare._

_"Many people thought Thranduil short changed him, but you and I both know it was the gold sickness. Thror didn't want to part with those beautiful jewels. Dragons have already been attacking our city on and off for months now, but I fear bigger beasts that we might be unable to stop. Do you understand the danger?" Thráin pressed his forearm._

_Thorin's eyes flickered closed and another softer nod came. The image of Siv began fading into the darkness of his mind, in view of his father's heavy words._

_"Love your woman freely. No one in this kingdom will stand in your way as long as I have a say in this. Make love to her, but don't plant any seeds. Don't marry or else you won't have the ability to hold all this together and you are the only one able to do it. I know it! If anyone will be able to break this curse, then it's going to be you Thorin! This ring of power shall be yours and with it all the responsibility of the Seven Dwarven Kingdoms. Keep women away from your throne and from the immense strength that resonates from within you. Only then will you be able to sustain the biggest stronghold of the North and the greatest alliance of our kin. You have a noble task in front of you son. Marriage…doesn't fit into this, don't you see?"_

_Thorin didn't move an inch. "I cannot disgrace Siv in this manner." His deep voice brought silence over them for several moments._

_"I cannot choose your path for you. I can only advise and that is what I am doing now. Stay here. Look at him. Look at your gold, look at your lineage and choose wisely son. I trust in your judgment." Thráin said and with one last squeeze on Thorin's shoulder he walked away._

_He had taken several steps up the golden staircase when Thorin's vibrating voice stopped him. "If I had chosen to wed a Longbeard would you have spoken the same painful words to me?"_

_The silence lingered for what seemed like an eternity. "I would have told you the same words even if you have brought me the noblest woman in Erebor as a bride. You have to protect our lineage, you have to make sacrifices son...I am sorry..." Came the unbending reply._

_Thorin nodded and looked back at the treasure room as his father's military pace faded at the long hallways. Thorin's eyes got lost at the sad figure of his grandfather who stood down there in the cursed treasure room, surrounded by all his gold. He had trapped himself and his grandson in this madness without knowing or understanding. Thorin remained immovable, feeling numb and empty for a long time._

_The words of his father burned with an iron rod the depths of his mind and heart. Bridling the need to ran out of these vaults to find his woman, with an iron grip. He remained painfully still in order to witness the slow, secretive descent into madness of one of the most prominent Kings who have ever lived in Middle Earth._

_All in the name of gold._

_His father didn't order him to send Siv away or to choose the throne over her, but he had bestowed upon his shoulders the responsibility for Thror. He allowed him to have the final decision, but he knew that Thorin was raised to support his family to the last. When Thráin left he already knew that Thorin wouldn't disappoint them._

_So the Prince remained there, silently observing Thror, his young handsome face shadowed by the archways, for what seemed like an eternity. It was way into the night when he turned around in complete defeat and closed his eyes, knowing that he had to face Siv with the reality of his hell. Knowing that she was going to leave him…_

_And she did…She left him forever…_

* * *

He looked up from his kneeling position amidst the ruins of Ravenhill and the cold air penetrated his skin angrily, making him shiver. A week to the day his sister arrived was when he was able to stand alone and direct his steps down to the royal burial chambers to see his nephew. Well preserved due to the cold, but yet untouched from the battle since he was in no condition to give orders for the burial preparations. That night when his sister left him and he tried to get some sleep, he ended up with another nightmare about Siv and woke up sweating and gasping for breath. His room was too warm, his blankets too heavy and his mind too overburdened. He stood up alone, put on his boots and took one of the war hammers that Dain had forgotten by his door and used it as a crutch.

The walk down to the burial chambers was quiet and lonely as the city was in deep sleep. Apparently no one had anticipated Thorin to stand up alone and venture such a long distance without any assistance, because his sister was also asleep and so were his friends. As for that maiden who haunted him day and night upon Dis' orders, she was nowhere to be seen either. So no one bothered him during his long and arduous walk to the vaults and equally unbothered he was as he stood in front of an elevated marble tomb and looked at the pale face of his boy. His eyes were streaming with tears and his mind had all but forgotten the constant pain that was coming from his stomach, even though he was clinging on that war hammer like it was his lifeline. He remained there for endless hours it seemed and the decision to visit Ravenhill might have seemed abrupt to anyone who did not partake in his thoughts, but for Thorin it became almost an impeccable need to do so despite his dire condition when he saw how empty Kili's embrace was whilst his arms were crossed in front of his chest. How could have they missed such a thing, he wondered, as he dragged himself up to the grumbled entrance with great difficulty.

He surprised the guards by storming their camp in the dead of night and taking one of the rams, but he didn't manage to slip away from that maiden's hawk eye as easily. She had caught up with him as he was limping up from the corridor that led to the burial vaults and she tried to stop him from leaving the city in this stormy weather, wearing only a tunic.

Those were her exact words.

They sounded so stupidly motherly to him that he dismissed her with his usual authoritarian broodiness. What was she doing awake anyway at this hour? Why wasn't she attending to his sister as she should have? Without answering to any of her other calls for reason and prudence, he pulled himself up on the ram and rode fast into the night without looking back once. At the beginning of his trek he was able to handle the pain from his torso pretty well. Soon enough though the heat from his body got evaporated under the heavy snow and his long mane was barely enough to protect anything more than just his upper back and nape. Notwithstanding the strong disposition of the Dwarven race, he felt more and more unable to handle the cold upon his stiff members. Instantly then he remembered the maiden's words for prudence, but his egotism kicked in sturdily and he pushed on until he finally managed to reach Ravenhill.

Roac alighted on his shoulder the moment he got off the ram, as if he had been secretly watching over him all along the ride up to his domain. He whispered words of wisdom and tried to convince him to return, but Thorin was adamant on his search. He informed the King of the crows that he wanted Kili's bow found and his loyal friend flew off to his assistance. Thorin searched amidst the ruins, stepping over frozen bodies of friends and foes alike. They all remained preserved exactly as they were on the day of his death and reincarnation. The silence of the frozen walls felt overwhelming, but also strangely comforting as he half walked, half staggered through the barren wasteland. His body was so numbed down from the cold, that he felt no pain when his skin tore away from the strong mithril stitches. Blood oozed out of his deep scar and coloured his royal blue tunic burgundy and with each step it expanded until the stain reached the belt of his trousers, yet he didn't realise a thing. His mind was focused at how cursed he always was to be the last one standing in order to search amidst the ruins of another battle for the few precious memories of his family. He has done it so many times, but this was the first search he did when he was barely alive himself. He pressed on and on for the longest of times and with each step he become weaker, not perceiving that the blood stain had reached down to his knees. Not understanding that part of his frailty was the cold, part was the heavy bleeding. He stopped only when he reached an opening that overlooked the valley. He saw the fires of Erebor blazing strong and vibrant under the grey sky accompanied by the smaller ones that flickered from Dale.

His homeland was alive again, wasn't it? His people were safe under the mountain once again, weren't they?

He thought his knees buckled under him because of the relief he felt under that thought, but it was because his body was bleeding out and freezing over slowly. His eyes remained locked at the valley of his beloved home until the caw of Roac made him look up. He blinked lost when his ravens delivered the precious weapon of his nephew right in front of him.

He reached out and touched it gently. "Thank you," -he whispered and felt his muscles feeble. It was the first moment after leaving Erebor that he knew he might not be able to make it back down. He settled back on his shins and that is when his eyes were drawn to the blood stain on his trousers and tunic. A strong shudder run through his body and he closed his eyes as he came to terms with his inability to move anymore- "Find someone…I need help," he spoke under his breath at Roac and it wasn't just one raven, but many who flew quickly away to do his bidding.

He didn't know how long he sat there, unable to feel any pain from his stomach, but neither from his fingers, his legs, his face, his eyes or his mouth anymore. He was powerless to move an inch in order to save his own life and he was already beginning to shut down when a melodic voice spoke to him urgently and made him inhale sharply as waves of terror erupted inside his icy body.

"There you are my Lord! What are you doing up here for Eru's sake!? Do you have a death wish?!" A heavy coat fell on his shoulders and he immediately drew it upon his frozen body with trembling fingers, yearning to draw in some warmth from it. He looked up through glazed eyes that he could barely keep open and sure enough there she was.

His sister's maiden.

"How did you find me?" His voice crackled and he coughed.

"Ravens..they were circling me and cawing like mad. They led me here" -she kneeled in front of him as he doubled over from the pain that simple cough had caused him- "Open up your arms please, my Lord. Let me see what you have done to yourself."

"Did they find you in the city?" He frowned when his body began shaking uncontrollably from shock the moment it felt heat enveloping it.

She shook her head and pulled his tight arms firmly away from his stomach. "I followed you the moment you left, my Lord. What you did had trouble written on it all the way. You might be feeling better, but you are not well yet and this weather is rough. I warned you, but you didn't listen."

"Does my sister know?" His eyes looked at her worried.

She pressed her lips and her eyes clouded when she saw the extent of his bleeding. "I didn't say anything to anyone. Your secret is safe with me my Lord, but you have managed to bleed yourself extensively again. Not to mention that you are frozen."

"Thank you…" he closed his eyes.

"Don't thank me yet. I have no idea how to get you off this damned place…" she looked around her confounded.

"Go to Erebor and find Dwalin…" He began, but she looked back at him sharply and interrupted him forgetting everything about etiquette and orders.

"No way am I leaving you here alone for I don't know how long! You will freeze or bleed yourself to death! We need to go now. I will try to lift you up, but you have to help me too, alright?" She shook him by the shoulder.

He opened up his eyes and nodded. "Yes."

A small, but decisive arm slithered under his armpit and her body tried to pull him up as he pushed. They managed to stand up, but he was clearly staggering and she was groaning with the effort to keep him steady. "You are too heavy…" -she muttered mostly to herself- "Do you think you can make it back down with the support I am giving you?"

"I will try." He frowned and his arm wrapped around his stomach in a futile and useless effort to contain the bleeding and keep his insides from spilling upon the icy ground.

Slowly she led him through the endless corridors and she understood that he was putting up a brave effort to alleviate her from his immense frame. Still though her body proved to be a much more efficient crutch than the war hammer they left forgotten up at the Overlook. Limping heavily and supporting himself on walls and on Eilin, Thorin managed to reach the lower ground of Ravenhill and find their rams.

There he stopped and winced with uncertainty. "I have to ride back, don't I?" He asked feeling the formidable task a little too much for his current abilities. His hand tightened around Kili's bow, making sure this mindless trek hadn't been in vain.

Eilin gazed at their animals and then at him. "You won't be able to do it, will you?"

"I honestly don't know." He shook his head and grabbed hold of the reigns. He pulled himself up with a groan of pain and instantly leaned his head on the neck of the animal panting for breath. Now that this heavy coat had offered him the much needed warmth, every single pain in his body had returned to debilitate him, with the one throbbing on his torso taking over every single logical process he owned.

Eilin kept her hand on the leg of his bloody trousers and nibbled her lower lip. "Don't move, my Lord!" She said and grabbed the reigns of her ram. She tied it at the back of his animal and then nudged his thigh once more. "Sir?"

He looked up from his inclined position, but barely saw her. "Move forward a little, I am riding with you." Her voice was slightly apprehensive, but decided.

He didn't move, he just laid his head back down at the neck of the ram as if she hadn't spoken at all. She gritted her teeth and took matters in her own hands. She released his heavy leg from the stirrup and placed hers in it. With one elegant pull she climbed up behind him, "Can you grab hold of the harness? I will lead the ram. Don't lift your body for I fear you are going to fall off." She omitted to say that in any such case, lifting him up again would have been completely impossible.

Once more he didn't move, so she had to physically force him to clasp the harness tightly. Then she leaned forth and grabbed the reins, but against the all reason that was forcing her to give him back his personal space, she covered as much of his body she could with hers in order to keep him steady and they started descending the hill slowly. As the road twisted and turned under the hooves of the ram and the snow covered their backs, her stomach and leg muscles tightened in a desperate need to keep both of them upright. Leaning as she was above his back it was hard not to have his long wavy hair tickling her nose as the wind blew them on her face and a discreet scent of masculinity that was hard to overlook made her throat suddenly grow dry.

She gritted her teeth against his captivating scent as she led the rams carefully down the mountain side. Torn like that between interest and fear and drenched in sweat from the effort she finally managed to bring them back to Erebor. There in front of the fallen gates, the last thing she had been expecting to see as she raised her head from the King's back was a seriously irritated looking Dwalin.

* * *

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	8. *Beyond the call of duty

Dwalin uncrossed his arms and walked out to meet them. "This is a highly foolish situation you've found yourself in, isn't it Thorin?" He chastised.

The King raised his head slightly from the ram's neck and chuckled contrary to Eilin's expectations. "What are you doing awake you devil's horn?"

"Got woken up by a bunch of soldiers who were yelling at my face that the King took one of their rams and ran off into the night and then a small Elf took another one and followed him" -He looked pointedly at Eilin and raised his brow- "Stealing one of their coats along the way as well!"

She lowered her eyes embarrassed.

"They almost gave me a heart attack! I was having a lovely dream too. First one in weeks…" Dwalin continued with the same playful smile on his lips.

"Tried to get away silently, but between them, her, Roac and you, I managed a poor job. Sorry for ruining your sleep." Thorin replied quietly and pushed himself up slowly as every muscle on his body felt stiff and pained.

"Storming a guard camp isn't the epitome of a silent exit cousin." Dwalin noted.

Eilin alighted quickly in order to give the King back his personal space and stood at the sidelines respectfully.

Thorin's smile seemed forced, but in reality it wasn't. He was pleased to be back in Erebor and not up in Ravenhill bleeding to death.

"Smiling won't change the fact that you've gone and done it again…and why are you looking at him like that for, girl?" He suddenly addressed Eilin who was indeed caught musing at Thorin.

She cringed and looked away.

"He is not famous for either making silent exits or entrances. He wants to be, but always fails." Dwalin smirked devilishly.

Thorin's smile spread in a quiet laugh.

"He aims for stealth and ends up either being overly-dramatic or overly-majestic. He simply doesn't know moderation." He winked at Eilin and took hold of Thorin's thigh and arm to steady him as he alighted carefully.

Eilin's lips upturned in a small smile. She had been expecting a scolding from this huge Dwarf-Lord, but instead she just got a glimpse of two close friends. Now the residues of their camaraderie were rubbing off on her, slowly turning her mood around.

Then Dwalin turned to Thorin again. "As if you hadn't done enough brainless things in your lifetime, you came and added this gem to the collection. Tell me what went through that brilliant mind of yours when you thought that it'd be a great idea to steal a ram and storm the forests when you are barely fresh from the grave?"

Thorin threw Kili's bow at him wordlessly and pushed away from the ram in order to walk back to his rooms alone, but groaned in pain and his knees unlocked. She rushed to steady him, but Dwalin was quicker and much more efficient than her. The large bodyguard picked up Thorin's weight with an ease she would have never been able to mimic. She crossed her arms and looked at her boots wistfully.

"Oh, damn…" Dwalin looked at the bow with eyes that suddenly filled with grief. That was the last thing he had been expecting.

Thorin shook his head. "Cannot bury the boy without his weapon." he whispered.

Dwalin looked at him long and hard. "I am sorry I was asleep through this." His voice lost every thread of playfulness.

Thorin cringed and felt grateful that Dwalin was there to keep him up. The pain from his stomach and the weakness of his knees made him unable to take a single step alone now. "Don't turn this into a guilt trip." He rejoined sternly.

Dwalin's mouth broke into a ghostly smile. He tightened his grip under Thorin's armpit and secured him. "So how the hell did you end up in the small Elf's lap? That's a difficult image to forget."

Eilin took a step forth and cleared her throat. "I have Dwarfish roots my Lord and I would appreciate not to be called something I am not."

Dwalin cast her a casual gaze. "You're a feisty one aren't you? Indeed there must be Dwarfish blood in you."

She pressed her lips and kept Dwalin's stare firmly. "There most certainly is my Lord."

"She has to have some spunk in her in order to deal with Dis. If it wasn't for her I'd still be up in Ravenhill freezing to death." Thorin added quietly.

"Well we should thank the little Dwarrowdam then…" Dwalin couldn't have sounded grumpier as he offered her a prolonged look before leading Thorin inside.

"My Lord wait! The King has bled extensively again." She rushed after them.

Dwalin opened up Thorin's coat. When he saw the blood reaching down to his knee, he blanched. "We need to lay you down and call Oin." He muttered.

Thorin's jawline flexed. "Oin stays away from me. I am not going through all that again. Blood will stop on its own. It's not so much anyway."

Dwalin raised his brow thoughtfully and looked at Eilin. "Can you follow the best smell in the King's Halls and find Bombur and Bofur's fire? They might be asleep, but search in their bags and you shall find a couple of bottles of ale. Bring them up to the King's room immediately."

"Getting me drunk won't change a thing. Oin is not touching me." Thorin spat.

Dwalin pulled him up and secured him on his strong body. "We shall do what needs to be done to fix you up" -He told his friend with an almost affectionate tone and then turned to Eilin- "Go and find the brothers, girl."

She curtsied elegantly. "Yes, my Lord."

"Don't allow them come up." Thorin looked at her above his shoulder.

"As you order, my King." She bowed deeply.

As Dwalin led Thorin up to the royal chambers quicker than she would have ever managed, she searched around. At first she was overwhelmed by how many camp fires were spread in the King's Halls and by how many sleeping soldiers were sprawled around them. In the end though it wasn't hard to pick up the tasty smell of well cooked meat and follow it home. She found the brothers hidden from the elements of nature behind a couple of broken columns, deeply settled in a dark recess. The larger one was sleeping silently and the other one seemed to be carving something out of wood with a sharp knife. She had counted on both of them being asleep. Now she had to confront one, didn't she?

Eilin inhaled sharply and braced herself. "Master Bombur or master Bofur?"

Bofur turned quickly and pointed his knife at her throat.

She blinked at his impeccable reaction and felt her stomach dropping. "I mean no harm." She whispered.

Bofur frowned at her. "Who the hell are you?"

"Eilin, I was sent here by master Dwalin. He told me to find you." She tittered.

"Come again!?" Bofur said and drew the knife away.

She exhaled in relief. "Eilin, my name is Eilin." She repeated with a hushed tone.

"Yeah, got that part, it's the rest I didn't understand." The clever looking Dwarf said and sat down again, showing her his back.

She came round to him. "I am princess Dis' maiden and Lord Dwalin send me to find you. The King needs some ale and he told me you might have some."

"Thorin asked you for some ale?" Bofur's lips livened with a confused smile.

"Lord Dwalin did..." She rejoined.

"Dwalin used the words ale?" Bofur chuckled.

Eilin felt her cheeks mounting colour and her skin crawling angrily at the dismissal she was getting from this smart ass. "Yes, the King walked quite extensively today and he is very exhausted. They need a bottle of ale."

"Thorin walked! Bombur get up!" Bofur threw his brother a boot that found him straight on the forehead.

The larger Dwarf sprang up with unexpected agility. "What?" He mumbled still half asleep.

"Wake up you troll snot! Thorin walked today for the first time!" Bofur exclaimed happily.

"We have to go up to see him!" Bombur eyes widened.

"Yes, I'll take the ale to him myself!" Bofur said and started searching his bag quickly.

Eilin tensed at the idea of misconducting the King's orders. "No, listen. I have to take it up, not you!"

But no one was listening to her. They were searching their bags. Taking out empty bottles and throwing them away, causing a racket she hadn't been expecting. "Listen to me please." She tried again, but no one did.

She had a decision to make and it wasn't easy. She took two steps and her small hand landed with force on Bofur's shoulder. It took guts to turn this Dwarf around and look him straight in the eyes, when years upon years she was avoiding everyone's stare. Apparently her instinctive reaction stopped him. "What are you doing?" He asked confused.

She felt her hand trembling and got ready to tell him that she was here under orders and that no one was going up to bother the King. That she only needed them to give her the bottle of ale. Her mouth though didn't seem to be working as her body began shaking uncontrollably and suddenly she felt weak at the knees. Her lips turned blue and her eyes rolled into her head moments before she passed away in front of the stunned brothers.

What happened between her hitting the floor and opening her eyes was a complete mystery. A kind and warm voice was speaking above her quietly, trying to bring her back to them. "Come on, open your eyes. Everything is okay."

Her mouth tried to tell them that she was fine, but mumbled something she couldn't comprehend, and neither could them. Once more her body decided to shut down the moment she had to face a man up close and personal. It wasn't something that hadn't happened to her several times after those men forced themselves upon her years ago. Rhiannon, her best friend, always told her that her body was trying to protect her from further shock that was why it was causing her those fainting spells. It was doing it even at times like these were she was in no real danger. Apparently her subconscious didn't see things as they really were. It was trapped back in those days and returned there each time with the slightest of causes. She felt betrayed and diminished by her body's stupid gut reactions.

"She's coming around." One of them said.

"Do you need some water?" She saw the shadow of a huge hand offering her a cup.

She shook her head and pushed it away.

"She's trying to speak..."

"Come on get up slowly...carefully." The voice she recognised as Bofur's said and several hands helped her sit up.

She felt dizzy and washed out, but at least her eyesight was clearing slowly. "I am fine, thank you." She whispered.

"Well, you don't look fine." Bombur scrutinised her.

"I need to get back to Lord Dwalin with the ale." She mumbled.

Bofur smiled brightly and brought two bottles of amber liquid in front of her face. "Found two, but maybe you should take it easy before you faint again."

She pulled them out of Bofur's hands almost greedily. "Thank you!" Her try to stand up was awkward, but the assistance of Bofur saved her from falling flat on her face again.

"Hold it, we are coming with you." Bofur said.

She reached out and stopped him. "Please don't do this to me. I am new here. I am scared and over my neck already. I landed exactly where I shouldn't have. Next to a firelight so bright we can both be seen from Mordor. I have my orders. Let me return with the booze and please check on the King tomorrow. When he or some of his confidants will inform the rest of the city about the state of his health."

Bofur paused and looked at her critically "Booze?"

"What?" She asked confused.

"You said booze, not ale." Bofur pointed at her playfully.

She huffed and closed her eyes. "I did yes. Reminiscent from my working days at the tavern I suppose."

He smiled. "Fine we won't come up then, but tell me how was he?"

Bombur approached quickly, eager to hear about their King.

She took a deep breath not really knowing how to answer this without betraying the King's weak state. "He is much better, that's all I am allowed to say."

Bofur exhaled in relief. "Thank Mahal. What's your name again?"

"Eilin." She smiled timidly.

"I am Bofur and this is my brother Bombur. You haven't met our third brother Bifur, but it matters not since he only speaks in Khuzdul."

"I know how to speak your language, more or less." She said quietly and smiled at her hands embarrassed.

Bombur frowned. "How come you know Khuzdul? You look like an Elf, but you are not, are you? You are too short to be one..."

She shook her head. "I am not an Elf..."

"Neither a Dwarrowdam though…You are too thin, delicate and hairless to be one..." Bofur surveyed her face with more boldness than expected.

"I am half dwarfish, half human" -she hurried in order to stop the usual banter about her descent- "that's all there is to it my Lords."

Silence from the other side and she decided to keep her eyes on her muddy boots as they were a safer option to their critical eyes.

Bofur's voice returned happy, taking her by surprise. "We are not Lords. We don't belong to the Royal Line of Durin, girl. I am a toy maker and my brother…"

"A baby maker!" Bombur hollered and they both laughed heartily.

She looked up timidly and smiled at them.

Bofur nodded and pointed at his brother. "He's got seven kids, he does. Plans on having many more when he gets back. Poor woman…"

"She's gonna love it!" Bombur retorted angrily.

"I am sure she will!" Bofur laughed and slapped his knee.

Eilin exhaled feeling more than relieved by the silent acceptance of these happy brothers. She lifted up the bottles. "It's nice to meet you, but I really have to…go. The King is expecting me..." she trailed off.

Bofur nodded. "We don't want Thorin to chastise you, but before you go do you promise to inform us about his health when they release you of your service?"

She hesitated. "I will try?"

Bofur chuckled. "That sounded more like a question than a statement."

His bright eyes and easygoing manner made her smile. "When I find an opportunity I will come and tell you how he's doing, okay?" She tried again.

"That's better." Bofur pointed a playful finger at her.

"Need some food before you leave missy?" Bombur asked and made for the cauldron.

She shook her head vigorously. "No, no I have to go."

Bombur looked disappointed.

She tried to fix that. "I mean I am famished to tell you the truth, but I need to attend to the King first. If they give me a break, can I come find you and have a plate of whatever it is you have cooked? It smells delicious."

Bombur beamed down to her. "Yes! I'll keep a plate for you!"

Bofur shook his head and began carving his small piece of wood again. "You just captivated his heart."

She smiled. "Thank you both for helping me out."

"And thank you for giving us the best news we have heard in days!" Bofur winked at her.

She blushed down to her toenails. She raised the bottles to the two brothers in salutation and with renewed spunk she began walking back to the King's room. Then slowly as the happy energy of the two brothers slowly dissipated, she remembered in what a bad condition she had left the King and she dashed up the staircase and the darkened corridors in a hurry to get back. It was only when she reached the fifth level, where everybody was sleeping sprawled on the floor, that she stopped her eager canter and tiptoed to the door. She opened it up slowly and came in the royal chambers noticing that it was distinctly warmer in comparison to the corridor, but that it also carried a faint smell of blood.

She looked at the bed and noticed that the King's bleeding thankfully hadn't worsened. Another ancient looking Dwarf-Lord was near him apart from Dwalin and they were trying to convince him about something that he was refusing ardently. When she entered, the King's fiery eyes fell on her and she froze in place, unwilling to breathe. Then his rich voice echoed through her spine even from a distance.

"Bring it over." He extended his hand.

She trotted quickly, took a porcelain mug that looked very expensive and went over to serve him, but he pushed it away and took the bottle from her.

She pulled back swiftly and tried to avert her eyes. Peculiarly though they seemed to have a mind of their own and remained raised to the King, half hidden behind her long red mane.

"Wound isn't that bad, but I need to replace some stitches. Tell me when you feel drowsy enough to let me attempt this without breaking my neck Thorin." Oin said calmly and adjusted his hearing cone.

Thorin frowned while he emptied almost half the bottle in one take. "I'll break your neck anyway. I don't want you to touch me. I've had enough of all of you messing around me…." He grumbled, more to himself than at them, as he drank the alcohol quickly and efficiently.

"For someone who rarely drinks and has his stomach slashed through and through, you are downing this pretty quickly. Good enough for a drinking competition might I add." Dwalin smiled.

Thorin lifted the bottle until it was empty and then discarded it. It clanked on the stone floor and rolled close to the fireplace defeated. "If you think I am going to stay still while this fool tries his sawing tricks on me again, you are heavily deceived!" He snapped and glowered at Eilin.

On cue she rushed and presented him the second bottle. "Another one maybe, Sir?"

He humphed indignantly, but took the bottle from her hands.

Dwalin crossed his arms and looked patiently at Oin. "Wait for it, he won't be long."

Oin nodded with a smile of understanding. "I have all the patience in the world."

Dwalin turned to Eilin. "Did you bring another one?"

She shook her head. "They didn't have anymore, but I can go search…"

He waved her off. "No need. I think these two will knock him out for good. He doesn't drink much or often."

"His father was a very heady drinker, I don't know whose footsteps he followed to become so weak in that department." Oin shook his head disappointed.

Dwalin pursed his lips. "Too much discipline."

"Too much responsibility for others." Thorin spat and emptied the second bottle with a wince as the alcohol burned down his throat and began numbing his extremities.

Dwalin instantly sobered up, but Oin was adjusting his hearing cone and didn't seemed to have heard the King's bitter comment. Eilin though did as her eyes seared on him.

"Don't look so gloomy" -Thorin snorted and looked at Dwalin- "that's buried history...long dead, isn't it? Only the skeletons remain, like the ones up at the secret entrance…" He hissed cheerlessly.

Dwalin cast his eyes down heavily.

"Did you recognise who these skeletons were by the way?" Thorin's eyes were scorching the head of his friend demandingly.

Dwalin looked up. "No."

"Sóldís and her daughter. Possibly her husband too." His face was void of any emotion as he talked about Siv's cousin and niece.

Dwalin looked at him defeated.

"What is he talking about? Did the ale get him good?" Oin asked with a confused cringe.

"No, that's not the ale speaking." Dwalin's eyes filled with grief.

"No, it's not, but it doesn't matter. What's done cannot be undone, right Dwalin? When history is written in blood it turns to rust, but never to dust. It cannot be forgotten."

Dwalin's hand reached out and grabbed Thorin's. "Don't go back to those days..."

"I cannot get back from them." Thorin spat bitterly and closed his eyes when Dwalin's hand pulled their foreheads together in an act of love.

"Tell me what you want me to do and I shall do it for you." Dwalin said with a tight jawline.

Thorin's soft laugh grounded his friend. "Tell that deaf baboon to get out of here and put that new mithril thread down."

Oin leaned over. "Is he smiling? I think It's safe to start on him, if he is..."

Dwalin snorted and pressed Thorin's nape firmly. "Don't make me force you, because in Mahal's name I will."

Thorin drew back with a sad smile and lay on the bed. "Do it fast."

Oin got ready. "This shouldn't hurt you too much since it's only on the top layers of your skin. I won't touch anything deeper than that."

Thorin turned towards the window and his mind flew up to the side entrance where the bodies of the last Blacklocks lay forgotten in time. He imagined how their last moments might have been. Possibly trapped there, fearing to take any other road out of the mountain in case they notified Smaug of their presence. They probably died from dehydration and hunger.

Dwalin pulled his left arm up and turned to Eilin. "Go around the bed and hold his other arm."

Eilin got suddenly animated and blinked at them lost.

Dwalin repeated more sternly. "Go to the other side and take hold of his arm!"

She took a few timid steps towards the King who was looking out of the window completely lost in thought, but the hesitation in her was almost tangible.

"You think this petite young lady can hold Thorin down?" Oin harked.

"Want to hold him down while I stitch him up?" Dwalin glared at him.

Oin waved him off and continued on his work.

Dwalin turned at Eilin. "Try your best."

She grabbed hold of the King's strong forearm, feeling muscles of steel under her palm. If this impressive Dwarf-Lord ever decided to lift up his arm, he would do it with her hanging off of it like a rag doll. She wouldn't be able to restraint him even if her life depended on it. Nevertheless she decided against voicing her worries and tightened her teeth and her fingers, intending to do the best she could as Lord Dwalin suggested.

Thorin's lips broke into a small smile, but he didn't turn his eyes towards her. He looked up to the grey sky and saw that the rain hadn't abated yet. The dizziness in his head transformed into warm numbness that trickled down his arms and legs, because of the alcohol that was running in his system. He blinked quietly as the sweet warmth glided slowly down his body, unwinding his joints and mellowing up his mood.

Then it was there. A piercing pain that re-awoke his reflexes and he tensed, but only fractionally. Her soft exclamation of fear made him look boringly at her. She was looking at his arm as if it was some terrifying beast from the depths of the sea. With her mouth hanging ajar and her red cheeks covered with long reddish locks of untamed hair, she looked rather endearing in her struggle with the big scary monster.

That image and those boozed impaired stray thoughts made his stomach bubble up. He chuckled amused by her honest efforts to win over his half paralysed arm. "Go on, you'll win if you try hard enough." He teased half way out of his mind, as every ounce of prudence seemed to have departed for the day.

Her eyes fled up to his in confusion. Another slashing pain tore through him and his eyes fluttered slightly before focusing in hers again. He noticed that their colour was bright green, intoned here and there with a few drops of an almost golden shade of hazel. The whites of her eyes though were layered with red vessels of fatigue. Sure enough he was not the only one there battling through hard times it seemed.

Her mouth thinned decisively. "If I put my mind to it, be certain that I will win my Lord! This arm is not going anywhere!" She said only half seriously and inside his pain he appreciated her effort to lighten up the mood a lot.

He smiled and looked at her determined well formed mouth with mild interest. The pain intensified and his body arched off the bed slightly.

"Careful girl…." Dwalin warned her with a searching look, in order to make sure that she was managing.

"I am almost done." Oin reassured them.

Thorin inhaled deeply and heard his breath way too loud inside his head. Another pull from Oin's fingers and another piercing needle got buried in his inflamed skin. He stretched painful and she cringed.

He looked at the side of her temple were a long reddish lock was drenched in her sweat and suddenly the smell of blood attacked him and he felt intensely nauseous. He inhaled deeply and found her eyes again, strangely comforting and serene. "You've never been to the Blue Mountains, have you?"

She looked at his azure eyes, but they were half hidden behind a curtain of painful fog. "No, my Lord, never."

"I know…I would have remembered seeing you before." His face was unreadable.

Dwalin gave them a guarded look.

She averted her eyes uncomfortably, thinking that it was her unconventional appearance that would have made her so memorable in the eyes of a King.

The next bolt of pain drew his attention away from her and he turned to Oin angrily. "Are you done already?!"

"Just tied down the last stitch. Let me put some medicine on and you're ready." Oin assured him.

Thorin exhaled in relief.

"Ale worked wonders on you….see?" Dwalin said contently and released his arm.

Thorin brought it down, yet his other arm was still being detained by this maiden and she was not making a single attempt to draw her fiery fingers, that felt like small vices, away from him. He swallowed away a hard lump that suddenly appeared in his throat and looked up at her, not expecting to see her green eyes staring boldly back at him.

His brows furrowed. "You can let go of me now."

She inhaled sharply and pulled back so fast that she almost toppled over. She caught the chair behind her and dumped herself gracelessly in it.

"You're lucky you didn't do anything worse to yourself tonight Thorin. No more excursions without doctors orders." Oin smiled and looked at his job contently.

"I'll think about it." The King felt his eyes closing down on their own volition.

Oin began wrapping a bandage around Thorin's chest tightly. "You're not going to think. For once you are just going to follow orders. Unless you have a death wish."

"I can say we are all lucky tonight, because we didn't wake up Balin and Dis. Them here would have been disastrous." Dwalin crossed his arms.

Thorin nodded. "Don't tell my sister about tonight."

Dwalin pressed his lips. "Not a word from me, I swear."

Eilin hurried to nod from the other side. "Neither from me, my Lord."

Thorin sighed feeling more than wasted. "Good. Now all of you get out and let me rest."

Dwalin pressed Thorin's shoulder affectionately and instead of walking to the door, he made it to a plush easy chair next to the fireplace. "Not me cousin. I am staying."

Thorin's tired eyes cracked slightly to see his friend making the best out of his new bed for the night and an evasive smile came on his lips. "I didn't have such hopes for you." He whispered.

Dwalin raised his brow and closed his eyes.

Oin called Eilin. "Come on girl, we are done here."

She stood up and followed the older Dwarf-Lord with many troubled looks above her shoulder.

When they were out Oin smiled at her. "You did a good job tonight."

She clasped her hands and lowered her head. "Thank you my Lord, but I think the King made it easier for me. He didn't resist my grip at all."

Oin smiled patiently. "I wasn't talking about restraining his arm..."

Eilin looked up confused.

"I meant when you followed him up to Ravenhill. He is such a stubborn daredevil that he could have easily killed himself up there." Oin's demeanour plunged even at the thought of the risk Thorin had taken tonight.

She pressed her lips and felt her cheeks mounting colour. "I was only doing my duty my Lord."

Oin raised a wise finger at her. "That was beyond your call of duty young lady. Goodnight." With that he walked slowly away from her.

Eilin remained in front of the royal chambers for a long time, trying to digest what had taken place tonight. Was what she did beyond her call of duty as Lord Oin said or was it exactly what was expected of her by the princess? Each and every night, just before retiring for bed, Dis always reminded Eilin with an austere voice to watch over the King like a hawk. Eilin couldn't stay in the King's room without an invitation now that he had regained consciousness, but she did keep an eye on him from afar so she always took a chair and placed it at the end of the royal corridors in order to be certain that no one was coming in and out of the King's rooms. That night they were both kind of lucky to criss cross each other though, because it was the only night she overlooked Dis' orders and went down to the kitchens to brew herself a warm cup of tea. Her mistress was fast asleep, the King was also and Eilin felt too sleepy and too cold. Instead of forcing herself to remain on that chair and fall asleep upright she decided to revive herself with a hot brew.

Everyone in the city had settled down for the night, so she hadn't been expecting anything extraordinary to happen. This didn't seem to be a different night from all the others. She made her tea in the silent and lonely kitchens, sat there under a soft candle light to drink it and then retraced her steps to the royal corridors in order to check on the King and her mistress. Just as she was passing in front of the destroyed gates, she saw his imposing outline appearing under an impressive archway that led to the lowest floors. He was limping heavily and his face was locked in deep thoughts she had no chance of ever finding out. He was wearing only a thin royal blue tunic above his leather trousers and heavy fur boots. He was clutching firmly upon a heavy war hammer as he directed his heavy steps not towards his rooms as she was hoping, but outside.

The shock of seeing him up and about faded away quickly in view of the knowledge that whatever it was that he intended to do didn't look very wise. Walking around alone with the help of a man made crutch when his body was torn apart, at this hour, in these clothes, under this weather, and in his condition was truly imprudent. Eilin nibbled on her bottom lip for several moments before deciding to follow him. If she took the time to find someone from his company she was in risk of losing his tracks. When he exited the gates, she rushed in front of him and raised her hand with as much determination as his heavy gaze allowed her to have.

She didn't remember what kind of nonsense she told him in order to stop him from taking another step. Even though he could have easily send her off flying into the river with a single shove, his large palm cupped her shoulder and pushed her aside with gentle consideration. He didn't answer to any of her warnings and didn't stop his advance as she hopped around him like a bunny trying to draw his attention though.

Finally she stopped her tries and pushed all the wet and frozen hair away from her eyes and mouth. She searched his wide shoulders as they got lost behind a thin curtain of soft rainfall and dashed after him, decided not to let him out of her sight. When she saw him taking one of the formidable war rams from a couple of bewildered soldiers, she hesitated only for a moment before claiming one for herself with more audacity than she had been expecting from her usually timid self.

After that she remembered little, except that she lost him as he was riding faster and much more recklessly than she would have ever dared. She continued to ride all over the valley, searching desperately through the River forest, cursing herself for allowing him to slip away from her, when the cawing of several crows drew her attention. She knew that the heirs of Durin were allies with the crows of Ravenhill from the bard songs she so admired in her youth. Their appearance above her head and the urgency of their caws were enough to let her know that the King was somewhere close by. She followed them only to find him helpless and bleeding.

When they returned the last thing she had been expecting was to get a glimpse of Thorin Oakenshield's friendships and the workings of his inner social circle. He didn't expect to see a good friend in the stead of Lord Dwalin, nor such a caring medical man in the person of the wise Lord Oin. She didn't anticipate to meet some of his loyal comrades and see for herself that they were simple Dwarves and not some mythical creatures of ancient lore as she used to think. Last but not least though, she would have never believed herself capable of trying out some honest humour to alleviate the King's pain or that she would be scrutinised by his unnerving eyes for far longer than she would have ever thought possible.

Now at the aftermath of their adventure she was left a little bit raw and open, especially after the King made that comment about how difficult she was to forget...

As if she didn't know how different her appearance was, she had to get a royal reminder...possibly literally.

She rubbed her face and feeling baffled, tired and definitely flustered she decided to return to the kitchens and prepare some breakfast for anyone that might be interested. The Princess, Lord Dwalin or Lord Oin, Bofur and Bombur...or maybe the King himself...She huffed and pursed her lips...

There was no point in trying to get to sleep...no. After what happened tonight, it wouldn't come easy anyway...


	9. *Innik dê**

"I can't believe it." Bilbo's eyes thinned warily.

"Good evening." Tauriel said quietly.

Balin approached calmly. "Does King Thranduil know that you are here my Lady?"

"My King send me over to honour King Thorin's family tragedy and to check on his health." Tauriel's eyes were full of grief and she was visibly making an effort to keep herself together.

Bilbo pursed his lips. "One of them is making a try at least."

A dark shadow fell on Tauriel's beautiful countenance. "King Thranduil wanted to send over other emissaries to check on you, but I insisted to be the one to come. My King understands that after this hellish battle we are all mourning. Dwarves, Men and Elves...the pain of grief is equal for us all."

Balin's eyes turned to his hands thoughtfully. "You are right. All of us who lost someone in this battle hurt the same."

She gave Balin a despondent look. "Will I be allowed to see Prince Kili?"

Balin sighed deeply. "Things are not easy for us lassie. I don't think Thorin will have a problem, but Kili's mother has arrived in the city and she is far less empathetic than the King."

She pressed her lips and tightened her hand around the reigns of the magnificent black stallion she was pulling behind her own horse. "I am not here to cause trouble. I am here to strengthen the bonds between Elves and Dwarves."

"But for your own means" -Balin noticed and she looked up hurt as he continued- "that are noble and true, but nonetheless might not be appreciated by Princess Dis much. You must understand that things are rather grim in the royal family at this moment."

"Can I request a hearing from her?" Tauriel's voice vibrated with a bleak hope.

Balin crossed his arms. "I wouldn't advise it. Better announce your presence to Thorin and let him handle his sister. He is the only one with authority over her."

"Shall I go tell him?" Bilbo offered eagerly.

Balin stopped him. "I'd rather not do it now. Oin just left his rooms. He is in a very bad mood this morning."

Tauriel looked around her defeated. "Shall I return to Mirkwood then?"

Balin shook his head. "No…," but he was not allowed to continue as the brusque voice of Dis reverberated upon the massive gilded columns.

She was standing on the golden stained floor of the King's Halls, solemn, regal and as beautiful as ever. "Who is the newcomer?" Her eyes were betraying contained sadness, but her lips were thin with disapproval. Her maiden was by her side, once again covered in a long cloak with the hood drawn low over her face.

Balin looked above his shoulder sharply and then bowed, as did everyone else in her presence. "My Lady." He said respectfully.

Dis' eyebrow arched and her critical gaze fell on Tauriel. "Who is the Wood-Elf?" She repeated.

Tauriel opened her mouth to reply, but Balin forestalled her. "She's an emissary from the Elven Realm of Mirkwood. She brings this majestic gift for Thorin with the request to attend the funeral of your son, my Lady."

Dis' nose flared and her eyes became cold and unreadable. It took her a few tense moments to reply. "Very well, let her follow Eilin. She will offer the Wood-Elf food and lodgings."

Balin bowed slightly. "My Lady, surely it would be wise to lead her to the King first?"

Dis looked at him hard and long. "Thorin is in a terrible mood this morning. He looks like he has a hangover of some sort, but neither he nor Dwalin are giving any explanations as to his dire state. He is grumpy and rough. I suggest you don't bother him at all with such unimportant matters." The tone of her voice was not willing to take any objections.

Tauriel alighted from her horse and bowed respectfully. "I offer King Thranduil's deepest condolences for your loss, my Lady." Her tone broke at the end of the sentence and Balin looked worried to see if the Princess had figured out Tauriel's deeply disturbed emotional state.

Dis bit the inside of her mouth in order to keep any nasty retorts from spilling out and nodded curtly. "Very well." -She snapped and turned to her maiden- "Eilin, take care of this Elven maiden."

"I am Head of the Mirkwood Elven Guard, my Lady." Tauriel rejoined with a slight frown.

"I don't care…" Dis rebuked, but Balin was quick enough to detain her ferocity.

"King Thranduil honoured the death of Prince Kili by sending the Head of his personal guard to attend this funeral, my Lady. Surely your grief can be set aside momentarily in the face of such a friendly gesture from our close neighbours."

Dis' eyes turned loftily to Balin. "Keep your advice for my brother when he is in the mood to listen." -She said dismissively and Balin pressed his lips annoyed. Then she gathered herself and thrust her chin to Tauriel's direction, but addressed her maiden before turning her back to them loftily- "Eilin take over."

When she was out of sight Balin exhaled in relief. "Told you this was not a good day for visits. Neither of the royal siblings are in a good mood."

Tauriel pressed her lips disappointed. "I can see that."

"I think it's best if you follow Eilin at the kitchens. She will make something for you to eat and offer you a warm bed to rest. You look like you need it." Balin offered her a considerate smile.

"Thank you." Tauriel bowed her head and her lips broke in a sad smile.

Balin looked at the immovable maiden. "Eilin remember the secondary hot springs that I have shown you in the first residential cavern?"

Eilin looked up and nodded. "Yes Sir."

"Take Tauriel there in order to have a bath." Balin ordered.

Eilin curtsied.

"Very well…now let's see." Balin searched with his eyes through all the people that were occupying the main chamber that morning, which were not few since repairs to the main gates had already began. Suddenly his eyes got animated. "Nori, get your ego out of your overloaded beard-locks and come here!" He grumbled.

Bilbo looked as the hooded maiden led Tauriel away and then turned to Nori who walked over to them.

"Don't yell like that Balin, I haven't slept all night. I have a headache." Nori chastised.

"No one has slept well since the war ended, now take over this steed." Balin gave him the reigns of the beautiful black stallion with the shiny coat.

The moment Nori's hands touched the reigns, the horse felt his reluctance. It neighed and backed up, trying to break free. "Hey hey HEY!" Nori yelled at it.

The horse as if intending to show it's disobedience stood on its hind legs and lifted Nori off the ground, but his weight drew him down once again and he landed on his behind with a groan of pain. "Hey! You bloody devil!" He yelled.

Balin intervened just on time. "Hold on, hold it!" -He said and the steadiness of his hands relaxed the horse. It neighed a couple of times angrily towards Nori and then settled down once more- "Steady my beauty, steady." Balin spoke to it and caressed it's neck.

"Why did you give me that monster for?!" Nori stood up angrily and cleaned himself.

"Because I want you to take it to the stables and …" -Balin paused in a sudden afterthought- "Wait...are the stables open?"

Nori looked at the stallion, positively fuming. "A couple of soldiers opened them up this morning. I think they are stable masters by trade."

Balin sighed in relief and smiled. "Very well, take this beauty to them and tell them to take good care of it. Take also Tauriel's horse."

Nori approached and took the reigns more firmly this time. "Whose is this black, hellish looking beast anyway?!"

Balin raised his brow and offered Bilbo a playful side-smile. "Thorin's."

Nori's mouth dropped open, but he didn't say anything to that.

"Close your mouth and take it to the stables." Balin dismissed him.

Nori took the horses way more carefully than he would have led any pony or war ram, mumbling under his breath something about being no one's servant.

Balin turned to Bilbo and pointed up with his head. "I need to talk to Thorin. Wish me luck master Burglar."

Bilbo pursed his lips and crossed his arms. "Good luck to all of us..."

Balin caressed his beard and looked thoughtfully at the golden archway with the Longbeard runes carved upon it, which led up to the royal corridors. "We are a right old mess, master Burglar. We will need a ton of luck to get all this back together or maybe patience...unlimited patience."

Bilbo gave Balin a troubled look, but remained silent.

Balin exhaled through his nose and walked decisively to the archway, mumbling under his breath. "For this won't be easy..."

* * *

Thorin's tired eyes looked towards the door of his bathroom with dread. He pushed himself away from the faucet and took two experimental steps towards it, which ended with his stomach gawking in anguish, his knees buckling and his right elbow catching the latch on the door at the last moment, saving him from falling flat on his face. His lips contorted stubbornly and he heard Dwalin's worried call. "Are you alright Thorin?" He cursed silently, pulled himself up straight and turned the door handle.

"I am fine." He spat and was assaulted by the stillness of the air in his room. Something that made him dizzy and caused his stomach to twist in disgust.

"Balin is here to talk to you. Apparently we have news this morning." Dwalin rejoined dryly.

Thorin tried to walk back to the bed alone, but his knees unlocked for the umpteenth time.

Dwalin dipped quickly under his armpit and pulled him up with ease. "You are not well enough yet." Dwalin whispered.

"Don't you think I know?" Thorin hissed.

"Sit down, rest for a moment." Dwalin's voice was soothing and quiet, but did little to calm Thorin down.

Balin smiled towards his brother. "Wish you sounded as caring to me sometimes."

"I do when you need it, but most of the times you don't!" Dwalin rebuked and settled Thorin down carefully.

"That was a compliment you bloody fool." Balin hurled back to his brother. Then he turned to Thorin who was sitting up straight with his arm extended to his knee and his eyes closed.

"I need to talk to you laddie." He crossed his arms and waited patiently for Thorin to notice him.

A tired side glance was the only thing the King could manage. "My head is killing me this morning, so make it fast Balin."

"King Thranduil send you a gift to honour the death of your nephew." Balin said, feeling like he was treading on broken glass.

Thorin raised his eyebrow in question.

"A black stallion. Very proud animal indeed." Balin continued.

Thorin's reply was blunt. "Send it back."

Balin frowned. "That means that you are willing to break any possible truce between us."

Thorin frowned deeply. "No, it means I won't have to reciprocate the gesture. I prefer to keep things typical with that Elvish demon."

Balin cringed impatiently. "Your pride will be your downfall. You need that demon as much as he needs you!"

"Don't patronise me!" Thorin's heavy voice rumbled upon the stone walls.

Balin gritted his teeth and inhaled sharply. He tried again, commanding his voice to remain calm and collected. "Rethink your answer Thorin. Tauriel brought the horse for you."

Dwalin looked up at that and the King felt the air getting trapped in his airways.

Balin raised his brow knowing what an impact his words had at that moment.

"You don't have to do this now." Dwalin clasped Thorin's shoulder and looked down at him troubled.

He didn't even hear the voice of his friend. He turned his pained eyes at Balin. "Did she come for Kili?"

Balin nodded quietly. "I wanted to bring her up to you, but Dis stopped us at the entrance. She was not too happy to have Elves in her son's funeral. You know how stubborn your sister can be. She beats you easily in that department and that is saying a lot. If it was in her hands she would have thrown Tauriel out that very same moment. You need to set things straight and offer the Wood-Elf official lodgings until and possibly after the funeral. You don't want to have a diplomatic episode with the Elven King so soon after collaborating with him against the armies of darkness. More so about the woman who loved your nephew and almost sacrificed herself in order to save him…"

Thorin's fists clenched and he closed his eyes. "Enough..." He hissed.

Balin's lips thinned, but he remained quiet.

It took Thorin several moments to speak again. "Offer Tauriel lodgings and inform my sister that the Wood-Elf will remain for the funeral."

Balin shook his head satisfied and went at the armchair that stood next to the fireplace. He retrieved an impressive golden cane that had the sigil of the Longbeards carved on it's handle. "Very well, everything will done according to your orders. By the way I found this. It might help you." Balin offered the ornamented cane to the King.

"That is Thror's." Thorin spoke with a hushed tone and his eyes burned with uncertainty.

"You need it in order to get around until you feel better." Balin placed it at Thorin's knees.

"Where did you find it?" The King asked coldly.

"At the vaults..." Balin observed him calmly.

Thorin's blazing gaze tore through Balin who instantly understood the heaviness of the King's mood. "You think I will lower myself to walking around with a helping stick in front of my people?!" He thundered.

"Balin this is not the best time." Dwalin glowered at his brother.

"When shall it be the best time? He needs to walk outside and speak to his men. The city is already flooding with emissaries and more will soon come. Are you going to carry him around like an invalid?" Balin rejoined, feeling exasperated at Thorin's stubbornness.

Thorin grabbed his grandfather's walking cane with his good hand and threw it back with such force that it dug a hole on his studded door panel and then clanked at the floor. It rolled back close to the bed and remained there defeated by Thorin's boiling fury. "I will manage without it!" His voice held a frightening undertone that no one in the room dared question.

"This is not what he needs right now!" Dwalin thundered and stood up.

"Sit down brother, why do you come to his defence? I am not attacking him! I am always on his side! Whatever I do is for his own good, even though half the times he will not listen to me!" Balin rebuked.

"Both of you silence!" -Thorin's grunt of pain was louder than his voice and managed to break the brother's from their bickering. They both looked at him worried- "Balin instead of playing nurse to me ask Dain to gather a small brigade and send it off to Dale. Do we have any food available?"

Balin's hard expression softened up as he tried to forget the last thread that fired up his spirits. "We have hunters working as we speak. The need for the soldiers to be fed was great so they went hunting at the break of dawn."

"Take half the hunt and send it to Dale." Thorin closed his eyes and ventured to take another deep breath, which failed.

Balin closed his eyes. "Very well laddie…" -then he stopped momentarily and feeling overly emotional he tried to get through to Thorin one last time- "…Will you let Thror's cane lay defeated on the floor like that?"

Thorin shook his head, feeling truly wasted and overlooked Balin's question. "Are there any masons amidst the army?"

"Surprisingly we have a lot of masons and blacksmiths. They are already trying to clear up the entrance as we speak." Balin drew back defeated and crossed his arms.

"Send one third of them to Dale in order to help them clear up the town." Thorin continued with his eyes closed and his body barely able to stand straight.

"Very well." Balin nodded quietly.

Thorin's thick eyebrows furrowed when he offered his advisor a long look that started off as annoyed and ended up as mildly concerned. "You look like you are overdue for a good meal and some more sleep."

Balin waved him off. Apparently Thorin's rough dismissal had left him rather raw and bruised. "I am no more tired than the rest of the crew. I'll be fine, don't worry about me. How about Thranduil's gift son? Are you going to return it?"

Thorin looked at him long and hard. "Take it to the stables. I will check on it when I manage to stand up unassisted." His voice lost some of it's assertiveness upon those words.

Balin's countenance brightened up a little. "Already done that laddie. How about the men? They are very worried about you. They keep asking to see you..." He let that thought float in the air between them.

Thorin swallowed heavily, but remained silent.

"Will you see them?" Balin rejoined eagerly.

Thorin shook his head. "No...not now..."

Balin spoke over him. "They need to see that you are doing better...It's going to uplift their broken spirits..."

Thorin's eyes blazed and his demeanour shadowed. "I said not now!" His deep voice rumbled in the closed chambers, raising the hair on Balin's neck.

The old advisor closed his eyes and gave him a quiet nod. "Alright son. Can I do anything else for you?"

Thorin's brow darkened. "I've had enough of everything and everyone. Let me rest."

Balin walked to the door dejected and when it closed behind him several tears sprang from his eyes.

* * *

Eilin's hand grabbed the edge of the table as the need to steady herself became suddenly overwhelming.

"Are you alight?" Tauriel asked.

Eilin nodded and looked around her in foreboding. The kitchens this morning were anything but empty as she had originally hoped. Many angry looking soldiers had taken over several tables and the door kept opening up as more soldiers were coming in, emptying their hunt purposefully on the counters. Dead rabbits, boars, pigs and two deers were occupying every available surface. The smell of blood and sweat once more attacked her sensitive nose and Eilin gritted her teeth against a raise of nausea that overtook her. She had lived in the worst conditions all her life and she was not skirmish in the slightest, yet this morning everything around her felt too much.

"I am fine my lady, please sit down." She said politely even though she felt flustered. With a dismissive tilt of her wrist she threw back her hood and pulled the cloak away from her sweaty body. At that moment her need to breathe some fresh air clashed with her need to hide her hairless features from all those strangers.

Tauriel smiled and just as she was taking her seat, a rough looking, bloody faced soldier who was carrying a boar bumped into her. "I am sorry." The tall Wood-Elf whispered, but his response was only a grunt of annoyance.

"Shall I make you some tea and a couple of eggs to eat?" Eilin forced herself to smile.

Tauriel leaned her forehead on her palm exhausted. "Anything would be nice."

For the first time Eilin noticed that someone else looked and sounded as weary as she was. She took four eggs and a pan and made it for one of the circular fire-pits. She asked for some flint and stone from the Dwarf closest to her in fluent Khuzdul and for a few moments they simply held each other's gaze, but in the end he gave her what she wanted silently. Skilfully she cleared up the remains of a long dead fire and put some dry logs in. She build up a fire quickly and efficiently and began cooking the eggs and also warming up some brew. "Do you have a preference? I don't know how many different kinds of leaves we have, but I don't think there are too many." She looked at Tauriel above her shoulder.

"I really don't mind." Tauriel's eyes were downcast and pooling with tears.

Eilin frowned deeply. "What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?"

Tauriel shook her head dejected, but didn't answer.

The eggs popped in the pan and Eilin turned her attention to them. When the breakfast was ready Eilin brought it over to her. "Here, eat some. You'll feel better."

"Thank you." Tauriel smiled sadly.

Eilin turned to her fire-pit not knowing what to do with herself. She wasn't able to leave the Wood-Elf alone. She had to wait for her to eat and then lead her to her rooms. In order to make herself useful and shake away her awkwardness she took the pan to a faucet and tried to rinse it, but the water that came out of the unused pipes was black and smelly. Deciding to leave it on until it cleared up, she turned to the counter were a dead boar was. She could also try to clean this animal up, so the men would find it prepared and ready for roasting. She had barely extended her hand on the dead animal, when the angry voice of one of the men stopped her.

"Keep your filthy hands away from our food!"

She jerked back and her stomach tightened at the offence. Not that she wasn't used to it, but right now she felt exposed both physically without her cloak and also to their guest. "I just wanted to help you clean it up." She rejoined quietly.

"We don't need your help!" The same soldier barked at her.

"I know her, she is from the IronHills. She was working at the stables." Another soldier intervened indifferently.

"I don't care. Have you seen her hairless face? What kind of devilry spawned her? She looks like a shrunken She-Elf!" The first man spat dismissively at her.

Eilin felt her chest welling and averted her eyes. She clumsily returned to the table and tried to wear her cloak and hood, but the laughing response to the man's comments rang clear in her ears. She bit her lower lip hard enough to draw blood.

"I could use some company." Tauriel's voice came soft and inviting.

Eilin lips broke into a shy smile and she moved hesitantly to the table where Tauriel pushed a chair towards her. Eilin took a seat and kept her head bowed low. Her hands were crossed on her lap so tightly that her knuckles had turned white.

"They sure can make a compliment sound like an insult, can't they?" Tauriel asked after a few silent moments.

It took Eilin several moments to process what Tauriel said, but when she did warmth began spreading in her hands and feet. "Yes, they sure can." She agreed quietly.

"Name is Tauriel." The beautiful Wood-Elf offered her hand.

Eilin remained in two minds for several moments before grabbing it gingerly. "Nice to meet you."

"What's your name?" Tauriel's fingers pressed her hand firmly.

"Eilin, my Lady." She cast her eyes down again.

"I don't stand on etiquette and I would like to see your eyes." Tauriel smiled.

Eilin looked up.

"They have a very beautiful and rare colour. These Dwarves are right you know...well kind off." Tauriel released Eilin's hand and cupped her tea mug.

Eilin frowned. "About what?"

"You do look like an Elf, I just don't find that an insult." Tauriel smiled kindly.

Eilin lowered her head. Then she gazed briefly at the soldiers who had apparently forgotten all about her and where taunting each other. "It most certainly is not an insult." She agreed wholeheartedly.

Tauriel gave her a sweet nod. "Then don't act so defeated. People have a tendency to reject what's different and it matters not which race you belong to."

Eilin's large green eyes this time flew quickly to Tauriel's. Yes, she could understand that only too well, but what did this Wood-Elf know about her troubles? She didn't look different from her kin. As a matter if fact she looked like the perfect Elven Maiden. Eilin remained respectfully silent, waiting for Tauriel to continue.

And so she did. "It doesn't matter if that difference is in appearance, in tastes or in your choices. It still scares them to know that you don't really belong."

Eilin nodded. "I was born different. It was never a choice for me."

Tauriel cast her eyes to her tea. "Then harder it is for those who choose to be different."

Eilin felt her throat painfully tight. "Like you?" She whispered with surprising perception.

Tauriel's eyes gained a dark shadow. "Like me." Was the only thing she offered.

Eilin's hand landed on the old table. Her finger found a splinter on the wooden panel and began pulling it out. She didn't know what to answer to that.

Tauriel sighed heavily. "I suppose this trek I undertook is going to backfire on me, but the choices were made long before everything came to an end. I just have to finish it now."

Eilin looked up confused.

Tauriel took out something from her pocket and placed it on the table. She withdrew her hand and Eilin frowned.

"That's a Dwarfish rune..." Eilin whispered mesmerised.

Tauriel's eyes watered and fell eagerly at the maiden. "I cannot read it..." A ghostly shadow of a plea overlapped those simple words.

Eilin shook her head.

"I don't know what it says…he never told me..." Tauriel spoke under her breath and a lonely tear escaped her eyes and cascaded down her cheek.

Eilin pressed her lips.

Tauriel closed her eyes and her hand around the moonstone. "He said that anyone who isn't a Dwarf will be cursed if they spoke the words out loud. It was a parting gift from his mother."

"He is a Dwarf?"

Tauriel pressed her lips till they turned white. "Was...he was a Dwarf..."

Eilin cringed and rubbed her hands nervously. "He died?"

Tauriel closed her eyes and nodded softly.

Eilin exhaled and it took several moments to speak with a quiet voice. "Dwarves are very secretive of their language. They are not in a hurry to share it with outsiders. That is why they speak the common tongue more than Khuzdul."

Tauriel's shoulders slouched. "I know."

Eilin looked at her hesitantly for a few moments. "I can tell you what it says."

Tauriel's eyes flew up to her quickly. "Then please do...I have nothing to offer you...but maybe I can find a gift..." She began searching about her person quickly with shaking hands.

Eilin reached out and cupped Tauriel's hand steadily. "I don't need anything..."

Tauriel's eyes held all the appeal her mouth couldn't utter at that moment.

"Innik dê." Eilin said quietly.

Tauriel's eyes seared into hers.

"Return to me..." Eilin explained.

A small breath released from Tauriel's lips as they trembled with suppressed emotion. Then she nodded softly in understanding and her eyes closed.

"It is not a request. By the arrangement of the vowels between the consonants, this is an order." Eilin continued thoughtfully.

"I returned to him..." A strong sob shook Tauriel's chest and she leaned her face on her shaking palm.

"Do you need some water?" Eilin asked concerned.

Tauriel shook her head quickly. "No, no..." Suddenly her long fingers reached out and cupped Eilin's back.

The timid maiden wanted to draw back, but she remained frozen looking at their joined hands. She delayed the question that lingered in her mind, but in the end she felt unwilling to keep silent. "How come did a Dwarf gave you such an important love token?"

Tauriel looked up with a bitter smile. Her eyes looked broken and lined with the pain that had saturated her soul.

"Did you love him?" Eilin's brow furrowed.

Tauriel nodded softly.

Eilin's other hand fell on Tauriel's and she squeezed them firmly. "Are we talking about the dead Prince?"

Tauriel answer was a barely audible exhalation. "Yes..."

Eilin bit her lower lip and withdrew her hands as if she was touching fire. "Then you must hide this rune!"

Tauriel looked up dazed. "Why?"

"Hide this rune unless you want my mistress to see it and take it away from you!" Eilin didn't want to sound urgent, but she couldn't help it.

"Why would she?" Tauriel frowned, but nevertheless hid the moonstone in her pocket again.

"She doesn't like Elves and learning that her dead son was in love with one won't sit nicely with her. Seeing you with the rune she gave him will most certainly end up in a disaster. Don't let her see that you have it!" Eilin said curtly.

"I understand." Tauriel nodded quickly.

Eilin opened her mouth to tell her not to worry and that as long as she didn't say anything about her feelings for the dead Prince or show the moonstone they should be fine, when the same rough voice called at her once more from the other side of the kitchens. "Hey, you hairless love-dove!"

Eilin closed her eyes feeling tired to the bone "Yes?" She drawled.

"Ha! See? She knows she is a hairless beast!" The soldier taunted.

"You called her a love-dove not a beast. That's hardly an insult brother." One of the other Dwarves rejoined.

"Well, hairless or not she's a pretty little thing, isn't she?" The rough one chuckled and that caused Eilin's stomach to twist with anxiety as adrenaline began flowing in her veins.

"That's why you keep on bugging her? Shut up and drink up! Don't search for trouble. Haven't we had enough already?" Another one grumbled.

"I keep bugging her, because she tempts me...by Mahal's beard I swear I'd like to kiss her cherry lips, but I am not sure she wouldn't taste like a frog, like all Elves do!"

Tauriel looked up annoyed.

"How can you know how a Wood-Elf's mouth tastes? Have you kissed one?" Another voice rejoined and they all laughed.

Eilin felt her eyes welling again and kept them closed. Tauriel was trying to tell her something and even addressed them, but the taunting and the laughing continued. Eilin was consumed by the embarrassment she felt from being ridiculed so nastily by these soldiers that she didn't even hear the door open.

"Now, now brothers! What is all this?"

Eilin opened her eyes quickly and saw Bofur winking at her.

"We are just having some fun, what's it to you?" The soldier who started the joke hurled angrily.

"Are you having fun with the two ladies or are you having fun at their expense?" Bofur asked casually and picked up an apple from the dusty counter. He cleaned it roughly on his tunic and took a large bite. The door opened up again and Bombur came in, followed by Bifur.

"What's going on here?" The ginger giant asked.

"These men are having fun at the expense of these wonderful ladies here." Bofur rejoined nonchalantly.

"Why do you care what we do?" The soldier squared his shoulders.

"I am bothered by your lack of manners. Why don't you try messing with someone your own size?" Bofur took another bite off the apple.

"Who the hell are you!?" The soldier stuck his thumps on his belt and straightened.

"Bofur from Oakenshield's company, you?" Bofur thrust his chin at them.

That name drop made it's impressions accordingly. The rough soldier raised his brow and his shoulders relaxed fractionally. "You are part of the King's company?"

"The best part of it!" Bofur smiled widely and Bombur laughed.

Bifur crossed his arms and muttered a few curses in Khuzdul just for good measure.

"Look, we don't mean any harm to the hairless creature." One of the other soldiers tried to ground the tension.

"That's good because you must know that talking down to women was never an attitude tolerated by the King in the Blue Mountains nor by his father Thrain and grandfather Thror here in Erebor. That tradition, dare I suspect, will live on so you might want to be careful about the fun you choose to have within these ancient walls." Bofur winked at his interlocutor playfully.

"That sounds more like a command than a request." The original soldier who first stirred up the pot hurled back at him.

"That's because it possibly is" -Bofur raised his brow- "and might I suggest that you call this delightful lady by her name and not by some ill meant nickname that points rudely towards her appearance."

Eilin bit her lip and frowned.

"If she honours us with it, of course I shall." The snarky soldier bowed, but everyone could see the sarcastic smile that dawned on his lips.

Bofur looked at Eilin and she shook her head in negation.

"Oh, you turned her off and I don't blame her. She doesn't want to share her name. Now...out." Bofur pointed above his shoulder towards the door.

"Another command?" The soldier raised his brow.

"Most definitely..." Bofur tilted his head and Bombur crossed his arms darkly.

The brash soldiers gathered their things and walked past them. The Dwarf that started all this bummed his shoulder on Bofur's purposefully and barked before closing the door. "Until this maiden gives us a name, hairless beast she will remain. I take commands only from the King or Lord Dain, no one else!" With that they marched out of the kitchens and the doors crashed behind them.

Bifur shook his head and muttered under his breath in Khuzdul.

"They smell like troll armpits." Bombur scrounged his nose disgusted.

"Thank you." Eilin exhaled and forced herself to smile at Bofur.

His clever eyes sparkled under his bushy brows. "Couldn't let you get tangled in such a mess. Took a liking for you last night."

Eilin lowered her eyes and blushed from head to toe. "Me too." She dared.

"Now you promised to come find us this morning with news about Thorin, yet you never did." Bombur sounded accusing.

"I am so sorry, I got caught up." Eilin tried to explain.

Bofur laughed and so did his brothers. "Listen to her. She believes we are chastising her. I told you she is delightful."

She frowned more out of awkwardness than anything else. "The King is doing much better this morning, but he is rather moody."

Bofur waved her off, slightly disheartened. "We know. Just bumped into Dis having a very loud discussion in the King's Halls with Dain."

Eilin caressed her face feeling exhausted both physically and mentally. "The Princess came in full of spunk this morning against everyone and the King was not in a mood to hear her. Things only took a nastier turn after their discussion."

Bofur leaned his hands on the table. "I think today we all need a break. All of us...from Kings to paupers. Do you agree?"

"I do..." Eilin's mouth twitched.

"You look way too tired and a little bit too scared for my liking." Bofur said with a side-smile.

Eilin rubbed her forehead and smiled. "I am not worse that anyone else in here, believe me." Her eyes fell on Tauriel's broken countenance.

"Don't think I forgot your fainting spell last night. I think this girl needs to learn the value of a good drink. What do you think Tauriel?" Bofur winked at the Wood-Elf.

Tauriel closed her eyes and huffed. "You haven't learned anything since I last saw you back at Lake Town."

"Nope and that's my charm!" Bofur laughed and so did Bombur.

Eilin looked surprised at the mild reproach between them. "I shouldn't be surprised that you all seem to know each other," she thought out loud.

"That sounds regretful." Bofur winked at her.

"Maybe it is. I don't really belong here." Eilin frowned.

"You are in Erebor young lady." -Bofur waved his hand around him vaguely as if he could show her all the majesty and depth of this Kingdom- "Therefore you belong here as much as we do."

Eilin's lips curled down, but she felt her heart warming up. "Thank you." She muttered.

Bofur's eyes darted at Tauriel. "And that goes for you too my Lady," he bowed.

Tauriel's smile was reserved, but her gaze was kind. "I'd prefer to hear that from the royal family. No offence intended."

"None taken, but today I don't think you will have such luck..." Bofur rebuked.

That is when the door flew open with an urgency that made everyone jerk back and Dwalin stormed in. The strange gathering took him by surprise and he paused for a few moments, but Tauriel was the one his eyes stayed upon the longest. Then he turned towards Bombur who was frozen still with a long knife buried in a boar's belly. "Thorin needs some food!" Came the command and it took everyone several moments to process it.

Bombur was the first to speak. "He actually asked for food? His stomach is sliced through and through."

"He's good enough to drink two bottles of ale so he's good enough to eat something to sustain his body." Dwalin barked.

"So he didn't ask for it, you are probably forcing it on him." Bofur concluded.

"What if I did? He cannot even walk without assistance. Have you seen his state? He cannot live only on water!" Dwalin went off and pointed at the door.

Bofur took two exasperated steps towards the taller Dwarf-Lord. "Have we seen his state? How can we see anything from him?! You are all keeping him behind locked doors since Oin butchered him up at the King's Halls!"

"I am not the one keeping him behind locked doors!" Dwalin crossed his arms angrily and spread his legs.

"Don't remind me of that part of our recent adventure. It took me and Nori two days to clean the golden floor from his blood!" Bombur joined in with eyes full of dread.

Eilin looked at him and shuddered hard at the image that popped in her mind.

"So who is keeping him from seeing us? Dain and Fili told us not attempt to go up to him at all! So did Dis." Bofur sounded accusing.

"Dain and Fili have orders and so do I!" Dwalin snapped.

"From who!?" Bofur stuck his fists on his waist.

"THORIN HIMSELF!" Dwalin thundered and dead silence fell all around them.

Eilin exhaled quietly and gazed at some dust specs which fell back at the clean counter.

Bofur pulled back and gazed dejected at his boots.

Bifur sat at the edge of the table and crossed his arms thoughtfully.

Tauriel cast her gaze on her crossed hands upon her lap.

Dwalin flayed his heavy arms once more, just to drive his point home.

"What kind of food? We cannot feed him a boar" -Bombur was the one who broke the awkward silence- "what do you feed someone so seriously wounded?"

"Cram would be good for his condition, but we ran out ages ago." Bofur said with a hushed voice.

"If we had some petty-dwarf roots or some rice, I could make him some porridge." Eilin looked around at them.

Bofur shook his head. "Our provisions are all finished. We have only the hunt and some spare eggs."

"Find me something!" Dwalin snapped, running low on patience.

"Wait for it! I am going to conjure some rice out of thin air and the girl will cook it for us. Wanna share some ale while we wait?" Bofur spat sarcastically.

"You looking for trouble now?" Dwalin came up to his face.

Tauriel's soft and collected voice was what stopped them. "I have some lembas bread with me, will that do?"

They both turned to her and Bofur frowned. "That's a nastier version of cram, isn't it?"

"Better version." Bombur raised a finger and attempted a smile.

"Similar version." Tauriel flicked her shoulders. She took out the bread and offered it to Dwalin who took it uncomplainingly.

"Thank you. Any milk left?" Dwalin looked at Eilin.

Eilin scattered to the back of the kitchen and brought over a wooden bottle that was full with fresh goat milk. "Here, I will make you a tray." She offered.

Dwalin nodded. "That would be nice."

Eilin hurried to make a very poor tray with a tumbler full of milk and Tauriel's lembas. Instinct told her that it was her job to take the tray up, but Dwalin's hands were already open and waiting for it as she turned around. He took it without another word and soon the door closed behind him.

Bombur exhaled and looked at the sliced belly of the boar. "Don't know if I feel relieved that Thorin is well enough to take food or terrified that Dwalin is so tense. What do you think is going on up there?"

Bofur sat down and crossed his arms. "I don't know, but I feel angry that Thorin chooses to hide himself from us. We travelled far and wide like brothers for almost a year and now he acts like he doesn't want anything to do with us."

"Just give him time. He's battling through some very rough moments." Eilin gazed at him calmly.

Bofur's brow wrinkled. "He is doing it all alone, without asking for anyone's help. That's hardly the Thorin I know."

Eilin leaned her hands on the counter and remained silent.

Bofur gazed at her for several moments before smiling. "Don't look so down, I am just worried. That's all. I'd like to see and talk to him."

She nodded in understanding. How could they not be worried? These men were the legends of whom so many people were talking about back at the Iron Hills. The company that travelled for so long and through so many perils. The ones who came so close to perishing before achieving their goal and now their head had isolated himself from them and they didn't know why. Neither did they know how to get any news from him. Apparently his bodyguard was as reserved as she was about spreading news and her mistress was even worse than her and the bodyguard combined. She began scrubbing the benches in order to keep herself occupied as Thorin's company and Tauriel got involved in a deep conversation about the final battle.

Eilin's place was not to intervene, but to listen closely at the events as they unfolded from the mouths of the ones who fought for their lives and for their comrades a few days ago. She scrubbed and cleaned as her ears feasted at the bravery of Men, Elves and Dwarves, but above all at the sacrifice and bravery of the King. The more she heard the more her eyes got lost into the polished black stone of the counters and her mind kept repeating that this must be a dream.

It must be some kind of a dream...

She couldn't be there amongst these men and women. Her days in that sleazy tavern and at the wilderness of the Dunlands still felt too vivid...too close for comfort. The gutter ethics of the men that came to that tavern seemed so far away from the courageous conduct of the legendary figures of these great Dwarven halls and everything in between these two worlds made no sense to her whatsoever.

No sense at all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** Return to me


	10. *Pride

 

_"Siv…" his large hand gripped her forearm way too tightly._

_"No! Stay away from me!" She tried to pull away, to no avail._

_"Listen to me!" He snapped._

_She turned to him so aggressively that he pulled back no matter how his instincts seemed to scream at him to take her in his arms and never let go. Her flowery scent did little to abate the fear in his heart. "I have been listening to you all these years. You kept telling me that it was going to be okay. That everything in the end would be resolved. Here we are now then with every thread of our sanity getting blown in the wind."_

_"I cannot do it, I am sorry." His eyes tried to convey to her the bitterness in his heart, but her anger was blinding her._

_"You are always sorry. Whenever you get back from your family, you are always sorry. What the hell are you doing to us Thorin!?" She yelled and pulled her arm free. Several braids came undone and her black long hair covered her furious face._

_"I am trying to keep us from falling apart!" He retorted._

_"You are destroying us!" She hurled back to him._

_From the corner of his eye he saw Cael, her father. He was observing them from the shadows, holding his hammer loosely next to his thigh. Thorin had ordered everyone out of the forging stations when he came to find Siv, but he knew her father kept within hearing distance and he didn't blame the old man. "You don't understand how serious things are…" he tried more quietly, yearning to get through to her somehow._

_"Oh, I understand alright. Its you who is failing to see how serious I am about all this." She pointed a threatening finger at him._

_"I cannot do anything else right now. You have to be patient." He attempted to get closer to her, but she drew back._

_"Of course, I am the one who must be patient even though I've been waiting for you to decide our fate for two years. Am I to still wait?" She asked and her eyes filled with tears._

_"I cannot marry you now Siv…" He shook his head in despair while his words slashed through both their hearts._

_She stood straight and proud. "So you said a few moments ago. You don't have to keep repeating it…"_

_"My reasons are serious and have nothing to do with how much I love you…" He tried._

_She harked through those words and he paled. "Don't talk about love to me! I sacrificed everything for you. I love you so much I cannot breathe without you and I still have to abide by the decisions of your father who obviously doesn't find me a suitable bride for Durin's heir! Do you know how much you are hurting me?!"_

_He came close to her and cupped her cheek. His fingers curled under her ear, keeping her there. "I don't want to hurt you, I just don't have a choice!"_

_Her hand came up and grabbed his forearm firmly. "No you don't, because this decision will either hurt me or your family. Hurting your family was never a choice for you. So don't speak of love to me. If you loved me you would have sacrificed everything for me!" Her eyes were overflowing with tears._

_He opened his mouth needing to tell her everything, needing to speak about his grandfather's sickness, but he couldn't divulge a secret that would tear Erebor apart._

_She saw his hesitation and her eyes gleamed in anger. "You don't want to sacrifice anything, do you?"_

_He closed his eyes and tears ran down his cheeks. "I am sacrificing more than you think possible." He muttered._

_"You are sacrificing our love to some unknown cause that you find me unworthy to learn!" She threw another knife at his heart._

_"No, listen please..." He beseeched while his fingers tightened around her jawline possessively._

_"If you loved me as much as you proclaim, then you would have shared everything with me, even your most intimate thoughts, but you don't. You are keeping silent. How can I trust that you will deliver in the future Thorin? How can I trust in your love then?" Her nails scratched his skin in desperation. This was her final call for him to deliver as she said, but he didn't._

_He closed his eyes tight. "You can't, you are right..." he exhaled defeated. He couldn't tell her the reasons that were keeping him from marrying her and he would never be able to abandon his family in order to fulfil his own wishes. It was one thing to make her understand how much he loved her and how deeply this was hurting him and another to lead her on a lost game._

_She inhaled sharply and her wet gaze moved quickly on his face trying to take in every detail as if this was the last time that she was going to see him. "I am leaving tonight..." she spoke under her breath. His words had extinguished the fire in her heart._

_His eyes flew open and seared through hers. "No!" He tried to pull her in for a kiss, not ready to resign their love yet._

_The slap came suddenly and on it's wake it left him with a sore cheek and a buzzing ear. He withdrew his grip on her face and looked at her, feeling more hurt than he had ever felt in his life. "Don't…" He whispered._

_"Don't hit you again?" She thrust her proud chin at him and her eyes became cold and distant._

_"Don't leave, please..." He muttered, feeling weak and defeated on all fronts._

_"So I should stay here and attend to your emotional and physical needs, whilst you attend to the royal line as your father has commanded you to do?" She was now throwing spears at him, but he deserved them._

_"Remain close to me…" He tried with a diminished voice and eyes that were burning hot._

_She straightened and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Then her head turned above her shoulder. "My father was expecting your answer as much as I did. We discussed this extensively. If you said no this time, we decided to leave. We have a carriage already made and waiting for us."_

_He frowned. "You expected me to deny?" The confusion was now pouring out of him like a waterfall._

_She smiled bitterly. "Yes."_

_Her answer made his heart clench painfully. He shook his head not knowing what to tell her._

_She swallowed heavily and her eyes burned through him. "You chose for the last time Thorin, now it is my turn to choose. I cannot spent the rest of my life waiting for you to devote yourself to me instead of your family. I am sorry..."_

_"Siv, you have this so wrong..." He shook his head sadly, but he didn't dare approach her again. She seemed so decided upon leaving him. Or was it him that left her first?_

_She huffed. "And I suppose you can make me see it right?"_

_His lips twisted painfully._

_She flicked her shoulders. "You can't. You have to guard the big secrets of the Longbeards. May they live long and rule wisely. Yada Yada…."_

_"Please…" he croaked._

_"Am I hurting you?" She raised her brows and wiped her cheeks clean._

_He pressed his lips and more tears run down his face._

_"Good, because you are hurting me too. We are leaving tonight Thorin and you'd better not follow me. This between us, whatever it was, is over. I don't want to ever see you again..." She thrust her chin up and with one last look that was alternating between defiance and anguish she turned around and ran out of the weaponry._

_He remained still listening to her heavy boots clanking further and further away from him. He was holding himself with the greatest of effort from running after her. He was trying to stop his eyes from tearing up again and again, his hands from being so cold and his heart from screaming in pain. He followed his father's wishes and upon doing so he cut out his heart and threw it in the fire, but what truly mattered was that he cut out her heart also and that would haunt him forever. As her footsteps faded away into the distance, he heard another pair of heavier ones approaching him._

_He didn't turn his head to Cael and forced himself to speak the words. "I am sorry"_

_Cael offered him only heavy silence for what seemed like an eternity, provoking him to turn around. When he did Cael's eyes were not accusing, but void and cold. He lifted his hand and presented him with the heavy hammer that he used to shape the best swords in the Kingdom with. Thorin looked at him confused. "Take it..." the older Dwarf-Lord said quietly._

_Thorin's thick brows frowned and he looked at the hammer._

_"Take it son..." Cael sounded almost caring._

_Thorin opened his hand and Cael dropped the massive tool there. Thorin's fingers closed securely around it and his azure gaze remained steady on Siv's father. "I taught you well and good all these years" -Cael smiled bitterly- "You are a master smith now. You can take over this den, like you will take over this Kingdom soon enough. You don't need me anymore."_

_Thorin opened his mouth to protest, but Cael raised his hand and stopped him. "You don't need either of us anymore. Let my daughter heal, lead your life as you see fit, and let me rest. Send my regards to Thrain and King Thror. Goodbye..." and with those words that echoed even more sharply, because of their quiet abandonment, Cael limped slowly away._

_Thorin remained behind, feeling cold inside out, with the heavy hammer in his hand. His eyes followed the tired limp of the Master Blacksmith. He stood there numb for what felt like an eternity and a day, one breath away from running after Siv in order to demand his life back. Nevertheless his feet remained rooted firmly in the depths of Erebor, with the heaviness of Durin's line overloading his shoulders._

_It took him a long time to unglue his eyes from the empty corridors, long after Cael's limp stopped echoing in the darkness. A longer time still to decide to move in any direction and he wasn't surprised when he found himself taking off his royal coat and leather vest before taking his seat in front of the anvil in order to shape the sword that Lord Cael left there unfinished. Several hours later found him sharpening the finished sword on a smooth whetstone, with his hair out of order and his face and forearms black from soot._

_His wild eyes were lost into the sparks of the fire as he moved his hands back and forth for a long time trying to make the blade as sharp and smooth as possible. He didn't even hear the rest of the blacksmiths closing down their working stations as it was already late in the evening. When he finished and decided to head back up it was already late at night. He didn't attend dinner with his family, instead he returned to this rooms and closed the door heavily behind him. First he sat on the edge of his bed and looked at his blackened hands until the golden bells stroke the first call for the night. Then he stood in front of the mirror and gazed at his face long and hard before taking some scissors and cutting off his long beard braid. He took a bath, changed clothes and walked up to the top rampart were there two guards at the flanks of the royal balcony. He commanded them to leave and climbed up on the rock at the side. He sat there leaning his back at the rough surface, with one leg dangling from an impressive drop. He sat in silence for long, stargazing and listening to the waterfall at the side of the grand entrance with no intentions of seeking any human contact._

_The lively warmth of the densely populated Kingdom behind him bore a rough contrast to the coldness that was now abundant in his heart. His arms felt stiff and raw from the abuse he gave them in front of the anvil and his body was cold from the snowy drafts that glided down the mountainside. He pulled his heavy coat around him, buried his chin inside the fur around the lapels and felt his missing beard braids strangely satisfying. He remained silent, calming down his rampant thoughts, waiting to hear the wheels of Siv's carriage rolling away from the mountain. It was way after the bells chimed the last call for the night that the calm voice of Dwalin made him reopen his heavy eyelids._

_"Quite dangerous spot you found to take a nap." His friend looked at him with playful eyes._

_He raised his head feeling his sore muscles complaining. "Didn't intend to fall asleep up here."_

_Dwalin frowned deeply. "What in the name of Mahal happened to your beard?"_

_Thorin rubbed his chin and smiled bitterly. "Its gone."_

_Dwalin frowned even deeper. "You cut off your warrior braids?"_

_Thorin nodded sadly._

_"You are a Longbeard for the love of heaven. What were you thinking?" Dwalin flailed his arms frustrated._

_Thorin released a soft exhalation of pain. "I am mourning..." his rich voice sounded husky._

_Dwalin's eyes darkened. "What happened Thorin?"_

_Thorin gazed towards Dale and his lips curled down. "I send her away."_

_Dwalin's body deflated and he leaned against the wall. "How?" He whispered._

_"I told her the truth. That we cannot marry." His voice was terrifyingly empty._

_"You bloody idiot. You want me to go and bring her back? This is the most stupid thing you have done since I've known you and that means since forever!" Dwalin barked._

_"I know." Thorin nodded quietly._

_"Then why did you do it? You've loved her since we were teenagers. You've pledged your heart to her since then." Dwalin rejoined exasperated._

_"There are things you don't know…" Thorin closed his eyes feeling tired._

_"Do they have to do with with your father?" Dwalin pressed his lips angrily and tried to make Thorin look at him, but failed._

_Thorin remained silent._

_"What did he say to you that made you deny Siv's love?" Dwalin looked at him intensely, trying to understand what was going on._

_"Trust me Dwalin, t I cannot tell you anything, but this had to happen. I had to do it." He rejoined flatly._

_Dwalin pulled himself up at the nook on the rock and leaned back until their shoulders touched. Thorin curled in on himself and Dwalin felt it. "I don't know what to tell you that would make you feel better."_

_"You don't have to say anything." Thorin frowned at the horizon._

_Dwalin caressed his beard and looked at the long road that led away from Erebor. "Did Thrain tell you to stop seeing her?" He tried again._

_"I did the best I could for Erebor Dwalin…" Thorin whispered._

_"Bullshit, just give me one word and I will go get her back! Just say it!" Dwalin grabbed his forearm and shook him._

_"No, what happened was for the good of my people..." Thorin's voice was almost guttural._

_"You are going to live to regret this and I don't want to be a witness to that!" Dwalin barked._

_"You don't have to!" Thorin retorted heavily._

_His friend's countenance broke. "I do, because you are my best friend and I will never abandon you. I think that what you did, for whatever noble reasons Thrain convinced you to do it, was wrong. You still have a chance to change things. Let's go to the stables and find the quickest horses. Forget ponies and rams. Big wild quick horses and go after her. She can't have gone far."_

_Thorin's eyes were pooling with tears. "No…" his voice flickered and almost got extinguished._

_Dwalin looked at how broken his best friend was and cupped his forehead. "Thorin don't do this to yourself."_

_Thorin's gaze returned to him unwavering. "You don't understand, I don't have a choice."_

_"You do…" Dwalin tried._

_"I don't…stop..." Thorin cringed and covered his face with his large hand._

_Dwalin inhaled deeply and remained quiet._

_It took Thorin several moments to speak. "Stay if you wish, but be silent please."_

_Dwalin leaned his head back and closed his eyes. "Is this why you didn't attend dinner tonight?"_

_Thorin humphed behind his hand. "What...was Thrain worried?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm._

_"Yes." Dwalin's lips curled down._

_"I don't care..." Thorin removed his hand and his pained eyes regained their cold curtain as he looked towards Ravenhill, without knowing that one day centuries later he would leave his last breath there._

_Dwalin remained silent for several moments before deciding to speak again. "Are you cold?"_

_"No, but if you are you can go back in." Thorin rejoined flatly._

_"I will remain for as long as you want me." Dwalin frowned decisively and settled better next to him so they could share their body heat._

_Thorin's broke into a bitter smile. "Thank you."_

_Balin cupped his mouth and his thoughtful stare lingered for long on Thorin's closed eyes. He remained a silent companion to him until they both decided to return inside the heat of Erebor to warm their bodies...even if nothing could warm Thorin's heart anymore..._

* * *

Thorin groaned and Eilin hesitated only for a moment before cupping his cheeks firmly. She felt the roughness of his beard scratching her sensitive palms and shuddered. "Wake up Sir, please!" She tried once more to wake him up.

He had been thrashing in his sleep for a long time and she was afraid that he would end up with broken stitches again. Not wanting to explain to her mistress how she messed up on her watch again, she tried at first to wake him up from afar. Seeing that try was to no avail she approached and tried again closer. Then it was time for her hand to grab hold of his shoulder in order to shake him awake, but he didn't open his eyes. Now her hands were keeping his head steady and her voice came wavering out of her mouth as she spoke straight into the King's face. She intended to sound strong and decisive, commanding him to open his eyes, thinking that a man like him would be responsive only to an assertive voice. The roughness of his beard though upon her sweaty palms and the well remembered whiff of manliness caught her so off guard that she felt flustered and out of place within seconds of approaching him.

Her originally intended command, finally came out as a meek plea. "Wake up…please for the love of heaven..."

His good hand came up and clasped her wrist so tightly that she felt her bones crashing under his steely grip. She open her mouth intending to spit a curse, but stopped the last moment. Her other hand pulled away from his cheek and used his chest as a leverage in order to pull free, but he was holding her too firmly. A groan escaped her and she tried to use her voice again, which surprisingly worked this time. "WAKE UP!"

Standing there next to him she saw with full dread his eyelids opening up slowly and his azure eyes searing into hers.

She closed her eyes and exhaled in relief. "Thank all the Gods of Middle Earth…"

His black eyebrows twitched in confusion and his eyes rolled down her nose and ended to her half open lips were they linger for several moments before he spoke. "What the hell are you doing on me?" He asked, but instead of an angry voice she heard a rich throaty whisper that vibrated through her spine.

Her knees decided to have a mind of their own and buckled under the weight, but he didn't allow her to fall on the floor. His hand was strong enough to keep her aloft until she found her footing again. "You were having nightmares and I was trying to wake you up. You were thrashing about and I feared you were going to break your stitches." She spoke hastily while trying to release her hand from his grip.

His eyes darted to his fingers which were wrapped around her bare forearm so tightly that her skin had turned white under the pressure. He released her with a frown. "Did I handle you inappropriately?" He asked.

She pulled away from him clumsily, feeling the redness of her cheeks extending down to her neck. She shook her head vigorously, hurrying to reassure him. "No, my Lord."

He turned his insistent stare away from her and rubbed his forehead. "Did my sister send you over again?"

"No, but my Lady has ordered me to sit close to your door in case you need anything at night." She lowered her head respectfully.

"So you never sleep." He pushed himself up from the bed slowly.

She made an attempt to help him, but drew back when she saw that he was managing pretty well himself. "Yes, my Lord...I mean... No, my Lord." -Eilin rolled her eyes and nibbled her bottom lip feeling frustrated at her inability to speak at that moment, while the redness on her cheeks and neck was slowly extending down to her bust- "I mean I sleep upright on my chair most of the times."

"It's really a pointless effort on your behalf. I rarely need anything." Thorin shook his head dismissively and rubbed his eyes.

"Today you needed help." Eilin looked up carefully.

He turned a heavily critical gaze above his shoulder and she froze. "What?"

She threw her eyes to the floor and her fingers tightened around each other nervously. "You were being riddled with nightmares, Sir."

He turned her his back and remained silent.

She looked apprehensively at his wide shoulders. "I've been having nightmares for years. I know how difficult they can be and I know how to discern someone who suffers from them."

"You are too forthcoming and you are assuming too much." His manner may have been brash, but his body posture looked defeated.

She felt her flush becoming even more prominent from embarrassment at his backlash. "I am sorry, my Lord."

"You shall not speak about tonight to anyone and above all my sister." His voice dropped so low that she quivered in apprehension.

"I will not, my Lord." She muttered.

Silence reigned for several moments before he spoke again. "Next time don't come too close to wake me up. Better do it from a distance." He threw her a warning glare above his shoulder.

Her head snapped up. "Next time?"

He raised his brow. "Will my sister change her mind and unglue you from my door?"

Eilin eyes darted around for a couple of moments. "I don't think so Sir..."

He interrupted her again. "I don't think so either, therefore next time you hear me struggling don't come close...understand?"

Eilin swallowed and averted her eyes. "As you command, Sir."

He pushed himself up slowly and grabbed one of the posts of his bed to help himself. "I don't want to have to explain to my sister how I happened to break your arm..." he whispered.

She found herself nodding. "I understand, my Lord."

After a long moment of silence were he shuffled tiredly until he caught the back of an easy chair, he looked up at her. "Considering that I am not keeping you anymore awake than you would have remained anyway, could you bring me up some milk?"

She looked up and felt her heart twitching happily at the prospect of being of some use to the King. She nodded eagerly and hurried to the door in order to fulfil his wishes. "Of course, my Lord I will only take a moment."

When the door closed, Thorin emptied himself on the easy chair. He closed his eyes and remained immovable, allowing the warmth of the fire to heat up his exhausted body. He didn't reopen his eyes even when his door opened and closed. He heard the maiden's light footsteps and a few moments later he caught a whiff of a flowery scent, just before she placed a tray on the table next to him. He didn't want to admit that even though this girl had become an unwilling witness to his constant nightmares, she was the least compromising to so so in Erebor.

Apparently in his sleep during these hazy trips in the past, he was more active than he had been counting on. There were few things he could do about all this, really. He could either stay awake forever in order to avoid them or sleep through them and hope that he wouldn't hurt himself or anyone else whilst he was at it.

He opened his eyes slightly as she was arranging the expensive porcelain cup with some napkins and some lembas bread she brought on her own accord. His eyes fell at her smooth forearm. As her sleeve was rolled up he caught sight of the angry red traces of his large fingers. His hands were so rough that he could have easily broken this delicate wrist if he had kept the pressure on. He was not safe to be around when he was sleeping and he didn't want anyone around him, but if someone had to be there then this maiden was a good modus vivendi. He didn't want to burden his sister with all this, neither his companions.

He drew in a deep inhalation and turned his eyes to the crackling wood of the fire. He cradled the cup and drank a couple of sips noticing that she had warmed up the milk for him when suddenly his ears picked up a soft singing that was sliding through the cracks of his closed doors. He silenced his breath in order to discern the words and it took him only a few moments before he recognised their familiarity.

_"The world was young, the mountains green,_

_No stain yet on the moon was seen,_

_No words were laid on stream or stone,_

_When Durin woke and walked alone._

_"He named the nameless hills and dells;_

_He drank from yet untasted wells;"_

Thorin placed his cup down and frowned at the door. Someone was singing the song of Durin and that was enough to cause his stomach to tense in expectancy. "Did you hear anyone singing as you were coming up?" He asked Eilin who was out at the balcony tossing his heavy quilt with way more strength that he would have given her credit for.

She came in and looked at him. "No, but there was a big gathering at the grand entrance. They were playing flutes."

Thorin instantly knew who was singing down there. He had travelled with them almost for a whole year and he had been living with some of them ever since he was a child. He would have recognised these voices anywhere. "Bring me the walking stick that's laying under the bed."

She walked around the bed and saw a very elaborate, golden gilded cane half hidden under the bed. She took it and brought it to him. "My Lord." She bend the knee.

He pushed himself up with difficulty and placed way more weight on that accursed walking stick than he would have thought possible. Balin had obviously been right when he brought it up, but Thorin's conceit had stalled his logic. He took his first step with it and his heart broke at the heaviness of his limp. His right hand felt weak and remained wrapped around his stomach as he dreaded the pain it would induce if he tried to pull it away. He took a couple of more steps and reached his cupboard. He threw the doors open and pulled out a black leather vest. He managed to put one arm through when he felt someone picking it up. He looked above his shoulder. There she was again silently helping him wear it. He accepted her help quietly, telling his pride to back away for the sake of all of them for once.

_"He stooped and looked in Mirrormere,_

_And saw a crown of stars appear,_

_As gems upon a silver thread,_

_Above the shadow of his head."_

Then he attempted to buckle up the heavy silver belt, but it was impossible to do so as he was using most of his strength to balance on Thror's cane. He closed his eyes intending to take off the bloody vest and walk to them wearing only his tunic, not caring about the coldness that was still covering the stone walls of this abandoned city.

_"The world was fair, the mountains tall,_

_In Elder Days before the fall_

_Of mighty Kings in Nargothrod_

_And Gondolin and now beyond"_

It was that maiden's flowery scent that made him reopen his eyes as she stood in front of him with her hands respectfully crossed in front of her apron. "May I help you my King?"

He gave her a nod and then her small hands were on him, pulling his belt up.

_"The western Seas have passed away:_

_The world was fair in Durin's day."_

As her small hands fastened the buckles of his heavy belt, her soft voice began humming along with the far away song. Thorin felt his chest tensing and his breath restricting while his eyes burned through her skull. When she reached the final clip, her fingers suddenly lost their certainty and her voice fell quiet. He saw her wrists slightly trembling, possibly from the weight of the belt. As the song echoed in the background his eyes focused on her shaking fingers struggling and he suddenly felt cornered for some unknown reason. His hand flew above hers needing to take back full control of this weird situation.

She inhaled sharply and drew back. Having most of his belt buckle securely done it was easy for him to fix the last clip and then he lifted his azure eyes to hers. She was looking at him almost mesmerised.

"Thank you." He said quietly.

She dropped a silent curtsy and opened the door for him. Gathering himself with great difficulty he limped to the door and shook his head slightly in order to get rid of that peculiar feeling of being out of touch with the world for a few moments. That is when the words of the song came clear to his ears once more.

_"There beryl, pearl and opal pale,_

_And metal wrought like fishes' mail,_

_Buckler and corslet, axe and sword,_

_And shining spears were laid in horde."_

It took him several moments to venture down to the King's Halls alone with only this maiden accompanying him. Finally the call of the song was too strong and he limped heavily down the corridors with his right arm holding his slaughtered stomach and lung from falling apart in the cold stony floor. It took him far more time to get to the great antechamber than he could have wished and by then his company had sang many songs only to repeat Durin's again as he was approaching. When he leaned his tired body at one of the tall columns, a ghostly smile appeared on his lips when he saw the gathering. Everyone was there. All of them. His eyes first went to Fili and he welled up inside.

_"Unwearied then were Durin's folk;_

_Beneath the mountains music woke:_

_The harpers harped and minstrels sang_

_And at the gate the trumpets rang."_

There they were then. His companions. The men that came with him in this perilous journey to help him reclaim their Kingdom. He hadn't seen them since they broke out of the strong barricaded debris of Erebor and fell into battle with bravery unmatched. He hadn't seen them as clearly as he was seeing them now since the pale Orc cut him in half. The last image he remembered bright like the sun was the valley of Erebor as the armies of Dwarves, Elves and Men were taking back their land. Just as the eagles were flying down from the ravine proud and free. There everything was finished for him. There greyness came that soon became painful darkness and melted into nothingness.

Tonight his usual broodiness got touched deeply by the warm voices of his companions and his shadowed face opened up to the first honest smile after his miraculous recovery.

_"The world is grey, the mountains old,_

_The forge's fire is ashen-cold;_

_No harp is wrung, no hammer falls:_

_The darkness dwells in Durin's halls;_

_The shadow lies upon his tomb_

_In Moria, in Khazad-dum."_

"But still the sunken stars appear in dark and windless Mirrormere; There lies his crown in water deep, til Durin wakes again from sleep." He sang as he walked out of the shadows. Everyone froze in almost ecstatic silence. Thorin took another step forth and then straightened his body hesitantly. "Good evening. I hope I am not intruding this beautiful gathering." His profound voice reverberated in the columns around them.

As if waking them up from deep sleep, slowly their faces opened up into hesitant smiles and then a laugh was heard here, then there, then a cry of happiness and then his name was heard from every mouth, as each and everyone was trying to establish that he was indeed there. Alive, and standing proud before them after the nightmarish days and nights of his close call with death. The first to bolt up and run to him was Fili and they clasped the back of each other's heads in a move of close possessiveness. Pressing their foreheads together tightly, Fili hissed through his tight jawline "Uncle I am so glad to see you walking alone…how...how do you feel?!"

Thorin closed his eyes and tightened his fingers on his nephew's nape. "Better, how are you my boy?"

"I am in pain from the loss of my brother...only that." The young Prince mumbled under his breath and his free hand tightened Thorin's shoulder.

"I know my son." Thorin squeezed his eyes tight.

Fili unglued himself from Thorin's tight grasp and fell in his arms. "The relief of seeing you standing here in front of me…you cannot understand how I feel. I thought you were going to die..."

Thorin's arms came around the young man and enfolded him. Nevertheless he didn't stop with a mere hug. Not with the boy he nurtured like a father for so many years. "I love you son," his rich whisper made it's way into Fili's heart and released the tears he'd been holding all these days were anxiety and fear were twisting his mind every single breathing moment. He held his nephew close to his heart, not caring that his wound was crying out in pain or that his legs were barely holding him up. He opened his eyes and looked above Fili's head at the solemn gathering who was not laughing or smiling anymore. Each face was serious and every pair of eyes was sparkling with unshed tears.

After several silent moments it was Balin who approached them slowly. His hand fell on Fili's shoulder and the young man raised his head. His eyes were red from the tears. "Come young fellow. Thorin is standing tall again. Gather yourself and let the rest of his men see him."

Fili pulled back, but didn't leave his uncle's side. With a wide smile he wiped his cheeks and stood proud next to the King.

Dwalin walked and stood behind Thorin with a knowing smile. Then slowly like a river being released from a ancient dam, they all gathered around him. Shaking his hand, embracing him, offering words of loving support. Making him know how much they worried about him and how happy they were to have him once more amongst them. Taking him in with a warmth that he remembered well and that he had missed greatly. This camaraderie had began years ago in the Blue Mountains and got chiselled by their shared hardships through the centuries. He saw them all as brothers. His need for isolation in order to lick his wounds withdrew and the Thorin they all knew returned in full glory to dominate their company, making it whole again. They pulled him in and he followed willingly, brought him a chair and took it relieved. They offered him a plate of food which he denied, but a cup of Oin's famous tea was happily accepted. They all sat around him, like magnetic dust gathering around a strong force field and the happiness of their disposition, extended on to him. When the original turmoil began calming down Thorin noticed the poignant looks that Balin was giving him.

"I am sorry about what happened yesterday Balin." he turned the tea cup in his large hands.

"It's me that should apologise. I shouldn't have brought you the damned walking stick" -Balin looked at aforementioned item that was resting on Thorin's calf- "even though it helped you in the end."

Thorin smiled regretfully. "It seems your wisdom is endless. I did need it."

"For now..." Balin smirked knowingly at him.

Thorin's smiled widened. "For now," he agreed.

Balin sighed and pressed his lips. "Forgive my attitude back there laddie, but I worry about you a lot."

"Forgive my anger for it was not justified." Thorin's eyes were honest upon him.

"All the great of heart sustain in silent suffering." Balin returned a steady gaze on him, that knew only too well what lay in Thorin's soul.

Thorin swallowed heavily and lowered his eyes feeling defeated. He didn't speak.

Balin's hand fell on his shoulder. "Something ails you deeply and its not your wound. Problem is you are not sharing it with anyone."

Thorin's eyes bore into his "Remember what Thrain told you about me before you lost him?"

A sad curtain covered Balin's demeanour. "Your father didn't want you to return to the Lonely Mountain. He was afraid you were going to perish for this place."

Thorin swallowed heavily and looked at his hands. "I overlooked the forewarning of my father and became as restless in old age as he and my grandfather became. I was under the same spell as them even though the ring of power never made it to my hands in order to overtake me. The gold sickness was there, dormant inside me, waiting patiently to take over. I thought this quest was my need to restore my people to the life they deserved, because I felt the poverty when we lived in the Dunlands only too deeply into my skin. The way I felt when I came face to face with this bloody treasure though shakes my previous beliefs to the core. When Gandalf found me and gave me map and key, the thought of returning to Erebor consumed me. My father's last words, passed on by you, meant nothing. I had to come back here and reclaim this Kingdom…"

"Which you did!" Balin smiled.

"At what cost?!" Thorin raised his voice.

Everyone stopped talking and turned to him.

"Every war has loses laddie..." Balin's lips turned down.

"The Arkenstone, this treasure but above all revenge…" -Thorin's jawline flexed- "became everything to me. I brought destruction to the people of Lake Town and when that was happening the only thing on my mind was the Arkenstone."

"All that is in the past now." Fili tried to draw him out of his heavy guilt trip.

"The death of your brother is not in the past son. Your mother crying herself to sleep is here in the present. The dead of Lake Town are not rotting yet because the cold of the mountains is more forgiving on them than I have been during this quest of mine" -Thorin continued and turned at Balin- "and have we not known the life of poverty me and you? All of us?" He looked around him.

They lowered their heads with a sad nod of understanding, but no one tried to speak over him.

"Didn't we have a good life in the Blue Mountains? What did more did I need? Reclaiming this Kingdom took over everything else that was honourable in me. If I had stayed back in Ered Luin Lake Town's ruins wouldn't smoke today with the smell of their dead. Dain's men wouldn't be dead. Kili would have still been alive. What if we didn't have this great treasure anymore. Was it worth the death of our kin? I've been wrong Balin and too blind to see it. Now the Gods cursed me to be alive and come face to face with the ruins I caused all around me."

"Or they granted you life, in order to help rebuild those ruins and create a prosperous life for us all! Like you have done for us back in the Blue Mountains when Thrain went missing. Like you have always done here in Erebor. You have always taken care of your people from a very young age. You are a born leader laddie. A leader I've always been proud to follow and any words of regret you might utter now in your painful state, won't change the fact that I have always seen hope in you. I still do. You conquered the gold sickness, you reclaimed our Kingdom and even though we lost many, in the end you've pulled through for us. One cannot make war without sacrifices and you've sacrificed more than anyone else. Don't be so hard on yourself," Balin's eyes welled as he uttered those words loud enough to be heard by all.

"He is damned right!" -Gloin thundered- "What is this guilt trip now?!"

"Balin is right! You did everything for us..." Dori added with a calm smile.

Thorin shook his head and pressed his lips. "But did I?" He whispered.

Balin tilted his head.

"Did I conquer the gold sickness old friend?" Thorin's words were low and meant only for Balin's ears.

Balin's brow darkened, but the young Ori didn't allow him the time to speak. "I was afraid of following you on this quest as I am no soldier, but a mere scholar. I did so in the hopes of documenting the quest of a legend" -his adoring eyes feasted on Thorin- "And the legend delivered a myth!"

"Here here!" -Nori raised his wine mug and stomped his iron boots on the floor causing a racket that others followed too, before he raised his hand and silence fell all around him- "I joined in order to spill some black blood and I'd lie if I didn't say that enjoyed every minute of it. No matter how hard our losses may have been I wouldn't have changed this quest for anything else!"

Thorin's pale lips cracked a smile.

"As for me, I just came to help my brother and because I knew that you lot were going to need medical treatment at some point, but this quest offered me a lot more than companions that I'd never change for anyone else in the world. It offered me hope. You Thorin, offered me hope." Oin joined in and wiped a tear that had run down his cheek.

Fili's hand fell on Thorin's shoulder youthful and firm. "I would have never chosen to be anywhere, but at your right side uncle!" He smiled proudly.

Thorin cupped his hand and squeezed it gratefully until Bombur's voice drew his attention.

"I wanted to offer a better home for my six children and a father to be proud off. I am glad that after this quest they have both a father and a King to be proud off!" Bombur raised his wine cup to Thorin who smiled sadly and lowered his eyes to the fire.

"I came because I couldn't let these two fools get killed" -Bofur flicked his shoulders and all the company laughed. Even Thorin chuckled- "But I met men whose quality and merits are immeasurable. Especially to a simple minded toy maker."

Thorin nodded thoughtfully.

"Nikuz*" Bifur yelled in Khuzdul and raised his mug.

Thorin looked at him and smiled. "Khiluz**" He rejoined and raised his own cup.

Bifur's mouth opened in a wide smile. "Khiluz!" He proposed happily.

Balin turned his playful face towards Bilbo who was looking around him mesmerised. Everyone's attention turned to him also. Even Thorin raised his eyes at the Hobbit. "How about you master Burglar?" The old advisor teased.

Bilbo gathered himself and cleared his throat. "I mean I didn't want to join, you all know that. You all saw me faint even at the probability of facing a fire breathing dragon!"

Thorin chuckled, feeling the acceptance of his comrades drawing him away from the consuming darkness of his nightmares and of his guilt.

"Yet, I did…" -Bilbo's head tilted sideways reflectively- "and in this trip by loosing my home and all my comforts I faced my fears, I learned how to make nature my home, but above all I learned the value of true friendship and what it means to let go of what is most important to you in order to help your friends. What it means to make sacrifices for others. What it feels like to offer your life to the service of others" -his eyes bore into Thorin's and he saw the dark curtains that always made him look composed pulling apart and the naked pain he saw behind them froze his blood for a moment yet he continued- "I also learned how to be a master burglar, now didn't I?" His smile was wide, but it felt forced.

Thankfully everyone around him laughed. Everyone apart from Thorin, whose azure eyes were searing into Bilbo's soul from across the fire. The black curtains were back in place, but Thorin's well formed mouth was not smiling under his black beard. It was solemn and a dark shadow lay on his brow.

"Instead of regretting what we did laddie, let's accept it and move forth. You are healing and soon enough you'll be able to take command of Erebor. Become King under the Mountain like your grandfather, not King in exile anymore. All great journeys have losses. Every war has sacrifices. When we joined, we did so in that knowledge. Your struggle with the gold sickness, didn't stop us and we regret nothing," Balin said with a kind smile of understanding.

Thorin retrieved his heavy stare from Bilbo and sighed deeply before looking at the fire once more. He tasted his tea and nodded slowly. "Time is needed to heal and begin to rebuild. Our lives and this Kingdom."

"But it will happen. It has already begun. All day long I've been sorting out the engineers and the craftsmen of Dain's army. We've got blacksmiths, masons, delvers and even water works engineers that have already began restoring the hot springs to their former glory. The masons are clearing up the gates so we can start rebuilding them."

"What about the dead?" Thorin asked.

"They are been gathered by volunteers. The burials must start soon. Shall they take place in the dungeons or in the forest burial grounds?" Balin asked.

Thorin's lips twitched. Was his first order going to to be about the dead? "All Dwarf Lords will be buried in the vaults. We have enough empty spaces if I remember correctly. The rest in the forest or ask Dain if they wish to be carried back to the Iron Hills."

"Very well." Balin agreed.

Thorin pressed his lips tightly and his cold stare narrowed down. "Tomorrow Kili shall be buried."

Fili's head sprang up. "Tomorrow?"

Thorin nodded.

"Your sister hasn't taken care of him yet..." Dwalin warned.

"Tomorrow afternoon." Thorin's voice rang solemnly between the tall columns.

"I will prepare everything and inform Dis." Balin nodded solemnly.

Dwalin exchanged a worried glanced with Fili and settled back.

After that command Thorin remained silent not in any real mood to get into any other conversation, but not wanting to leave either. It was enough for him to remain amongst them in silence. The soft murmur of his comrades vibrated in the air around him almost lulling him to sleep, upright as he was. Everyone was feeling comforted by Thorin's presence, because no one had forgotten how broken he had been almost a week ago in that very same floor. That nightmare seemed so far away now as soft shadows from the fire danced across Thorin's calm features. The edge of the bandage that was tightly wrapped around his torso was peeking from the collar of his tunic, which in combination with the walking stick was a bleak reminder of his weakness. Still he was there with them once more, a part of their company and everyone rejoiced in that. He remained quietly observant of the conversations around him, offering a thoughtful nod or a ghostly smile every now and again at a question from Fili or some smart comment from Nori and Bilbo. Denying ardently Bombur's offer for food and Oin's need to check on his wound. He only accepted Dori's polite offer for tea and it's warmth was doing wonders to his stomach and his dark disposition.

It was Balin's poignant stares across the room towards the columns that drew the first words out of Thorin's mouth one more time. He looked at the point of interest and raised his brow in recognition.

"Shall I send her away? You are in no need of her services right now." Balin looked back at him.

Thorin's gaze lingered absently at the maiden's hiding place. He saw her thin figure between the shadows. He frowned at his inability to remember and after a few moments he gave up on the try. "You remember her name?"

Balin pressed his lips. "Eilin."

"Eilin, the Firebeard…" Thorin's blue eyes mused at the shadows.

Balin took a sip of his root beer and nodded. "Firebeard indeed, even though she doesn't look it…"

Thorin's lips twisted musingly and he turned his eyes to the fire. "Bring her closer to the fire and give her something to eat."

Balin looked up from his cup and his brow rose to the top of his forehead. He remained silent willing Thorin to notice him.

"Don't look at me like that old man. I don't think she's had a break since coming here and everyone deserves a break once in a while." Thorin's lips curled up in a small smile and then he offered his friend a tired look.

Balin's serious countenance melted in a sweet smile and he nodded. "I'll bring her over laddie." Then he stood up and walked alone to the shadows.

Thorin lifted the cup to his lips and his attention was drawn to Fili who was engaged in a conversation with Gloin. Thorin felt the heaviness of his obligations already burdening his shoulders and his eyes never noticed the timid Eilin approaching the fire with the encouragement of Balin. He didn't see her eyes gazing at him with an intensity that was almost unnerving as the old Dwarf led her to the company of Bofur who waved at her immediately. Half his mind was already racing on the next day and the other half was buried in his nightmares of the past.

Soon enough though the joyfulness of the company drew him in again and he joined in their jokes and conversation willingly. Only when the darkness was slowly lifted from his heart once more did he notice -Eilin the Firebeard- looking at him restlessly from across the fire. Bofur was leaning his shoulder onto hers and was laughing with Bifur at an apparent joke trying to draw her in, but her eyes were concentrated solemnly on the King and she made no attempts to withdraw them when he noticed her.

His dark brows twitched uncertain if they wanted to offer her a scornful frown or remain wrinkled with mild interest as to her insistence. His gaze must have been so imperative because she finally looked away and smiled at Bofur who offered her a cup of ale. When half of his company had fallen asleep around the campfire, secure in the knowledge that they had each other's backs, he remembered the times they've been sleeping like that in the wilderness.

He denied to be escorted back to his rooms by Dwalin. He insisted that he wanted to sleep amongst them. Eilin was the first on her feet and she rushed to create a bed for him with some straw and sheets she brought from his rooms. He lay there feeling a sense of calm covering him over like a balm. Only then did he feel his wound pained once again, but he didn't mind. His restlessness of all the previous evenings got blown away and when he closed his eyes there was only a restful dreamless sleep waiting for him.

As for the young maiden who found herself entangled way too deep into Erebor, she decided to lay close to Bofur whom she found the most pleasant company of all. With her back turned to the fire she kept her eyes at the formally majestic entrance, which was now crumbled and destroyed. The sound of the waterfall next to the gate lulled her to sleep soon enough and the night rolled on for all the uneven company in front of the feet of their mighty forefathers. Toy makers and soldiers, musicians and carvers, masons and delvers, Hobbits and medicine men. Kings and paupers all sleeping together under the bright moonlight that broke through the insistent clouds in order to shine down on all of them equally.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * pride
> 
> ** family


	11. *A crown doesn't make a King

That's exactly how the next morning found them. Thorin had turned in his sleep and was now facing the remains of the melted statue of his grandfather. There in front of its feet was a black blob, almost invisible from the distance. Yet the sun rays that were passing between the ruins of the gate were enough to cast the shadow of that blob upon the golden floor. Thorin's ears listened to the snoring of his comrades with Dwalin's overpowering everyone else and his eyelids closed once more, but that didn't last long as his half awoken brain was alerted by movement behind him. Someone was walking quietly about, poking around the logs, possibly trying to reignite the remains of the fire pit. Thorin's eyes fell on that dark item which was casting that ominous shadow on the floor and shuddered. Wasn't it too early in the morning to be visited by that particular ghost? He inhaled deeper than usual and felt the pain from his stomach awakening along with him. This was the first night he slept without nightmares and without the pain tearing him apart. Had he known that sleeping amongst his companions would have offered him such peaceful sleep he would have sought them out much sooner.

He pushed with his good arm and came to a seated position. Even though his sleep had been restful and he was deeply grateful that he didn't get riddled with more weird dreams last night, the shadow which was being cast on the golden floor made the usual broodiness return on his face without too much effort. His thick brows came together and his forehead wrinkled. He lifted himself up from the bed with great difficulty and even though the cane would have helped him stand straight much sooner, he denied it. When he turned and looked at it lying next to his bed only derision was visible in his eyes.

He raised his brow loftily and turned his attention to the shadow once more. His heart thumbed in elation when he understood that he was able to walk slightly better than yesterday. He was still visibly limbing and his left arm was wrapped tightly across his stomach, but he was able to do it without the assistance of the cane. One heavy boot clanked on the golden floor with the ever-present traces of his proud military pace and the other dragged behind him trying to offer him what little support it could. Still though he managed to reach the forgotten Raven Crown unassisted.

It was still exactly at the same place he threw it just before going out to battle. No one bothered to pick it up, either because no one wanted to touch his crown or more possibly because no one had noticed it. He kneeled down and grabbed it angrily feeling an insatiable need to spit on the floor for the pain this crown had offered his family all these centuries.

"Thorin?" Bilbo's voice drew him out of his heavy contemplations.

He opened his eyes and sighed deeply. "Good morning my friend."

"Good morning. Do you…do you need any help?" Bilbo approached and his gaze fell on the crown Thorin was holding.

Thorin looked at Bilbo dejected. "Do I look so impossibly weak?" His voice held a tone of disgust towards himself.

Bilbo shook his head vigorously. "No! No...Of course not…" He didn't sound convincing.

Thorin's brow raised slowly and a faded smile appeared on his lips.

Bilbo scratched his head and reciprocated with an uncomfortable smile of his own. "Well, maybe you do look like you need a bit of help. Do you want me to bring over your walking stick?"

Thorin's lips curled down. "No, thank you."

Bilbo pressed his lips and looked at his friend lovingly. "Maybe my arm could assist you then?" He offered his elbow.

Thorin shook his head.

Bilbo licked his lips, feeling troubled by the haunted countenance of the King. "Did you sleep well?"

Thorin's mouth broke into another soft smile and he gazed at Bilbo's eyes. "Yes. I saw such a beautiful dream."

Bilbo frowned. "What was it about?"

Thorin looked at the ruins of the once majestic gates. "There was a large acorn tree next to the entrance, being fed water by the River Running that spewed out of the mouth of the Mountain. It offered its shade generously to the dwarrowdams who washed their clothes at the river shore and strong branches the children could use in order to climb up and have a good view of Ravenhill from its top. Its thick foliage was glistening with the traces of the mist that had fallen over the night as the sun was shining on the leafs."

Bilbo's face lit up. "That was beautiful indeed."

Thorin inhaled gently trying to keep the pain in check. "The oak tree had always been kind of symbolic for me."

Bilbo looked at his hands and nodded. "I know."

Thorin turned his attention to him once more. "Not only did a part of it save my life and protected me for many years, but now one of its children found a home in your pocket."

Bilbo looked up. "My acorn seed, yes."

Thorin's eyes gave off a gentle sparkle which died out quickly. "Do you still have it with you?"

Bilbo eyes grew wide and his hand got buried in one of his pockets. "Yes, I have it...wait" -When that search proved futile his hand dug up his other pocket and suddenly his eyes became void and distant. He licked his lower lip and looked at Thorin's Raven Crown- "You see I thought I had it here before…but…" His fingers traced something invisible, hidden from Thorin's prying eyes.

The King frowned.

Bilbo drew his hand away quickly and then searched the pocket under his lapels. "There see? It was here all along." He said relieved and showed Thorin the seed.

"I suppose you will soon need to leave for home?" Thorin's kind hearted smile touched Bilbo's heart.

He nodded. "I would like to stay in order to nurse you back to health and to make sure you will wear this crown. Then I will go back home. This journey with you changed me as a person, nevertheless I can never belong anywhere else but with my people, in the secure confines of my home. I am a very quiet person at heart."

Thorin tilted his head thoughtfully and his brow filled with lines of worry. "Me too."

Bilbo pointed his finger at him. "That wish doesn't go well with what you are holding."

Thorin offered a dismissive look to the crown and pursed his lips. "Don't you think I know?"

Bilbo frowned. "I wish I could offer some wise words to soothe down the duality I am sensing from you right now."

Thorin's smile uplifted the corners of his beautiful eyes. "I don't require such words out of you my friend, but I want to ask for a favour."

Bilbo nodded eagerly. "Ask me for anything!"

Thorin looked at his pocket wistfully. "Do you still intent to plant the seed in your garden?"

"Yes, unless you changed your mind and you want it for yourself." Bilbo fished out the seed and offered it to him without any seconds thoughts.

Thorin's mouth opened in a ghostly smile. "If I asked you to plant it next to the gates for me in order to offer the next generation a chance to climb on it and have a view of Ravenhill like I saw in my dream would you do it?"

Bilbo's eyes shone bright. "Yes!"

Thorin closed his eyes. "Do it then master Burglar and let me have something to remember you by when you leave. Acorns grow tall and wide, old and wise. They are a symbol of strength and endurance and by Gods I need that now...you have no idea how much..." He sounded so tired that Bilbo felt the instinctive need to support him becoming almost overpowering.

He came over and engaged Thorin's elbow. "Remember what you told me right before the battle? I have this seed and you have this Kingdom. Now you have both."

Thorin's smile faded quickly. He turned his eyes to the crown in his hand and without any warning he tossed it aside. It clanked on the floor and rolled at one of the corridors, out of sight. The last thing they both heard was another clank from a greater distance, indicating that it fell off one of the bridges and ended up down the chaotic architecture of vaults and open areas.

Bilbo looked up at Thorin petrified. "Your crown…"

Thorin dismissed him with an ease that felt worrying. "Who told you that a crown can make a King or that a King has to wear a crown?"

"This was your grandfather's. It's the crown of the King Under the Mountain." Bilbo frowned as Thorin disengaged his arm and began limping towards the entrance.

"It was Thror's crown, you are right." Thorin agreed.

Bilbo followed Thorin quickly with a dark frown staining his face. "'Tis the Crown of the King Under the Mountain? Did you hear that part?"

Thorin cast a quick glance back at him. "That part I shall rewrite master Baggins." He replied mystically and reached the fire.

Bilbo stopped and placed his thumbs on his vest thoughtfully. "Right now you are really making no sense, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt because you have only just risen from the dead." He muttered under his breath.

Eilin was standing there with a wooden scoop in her hand warming up some milk and preparing some eggs for breakfast. When he approached she wiped her hands on her apron and suddenly felt almost too self aware and tried to smooth down her wild hair. "Good morning my Lord."

Thorin seemed to have barely noticed her. He offered her a vague nod and concentrated on the ruined gates once more.

"Shall I serve you breakfast, Sir?" She asked.

He cast his calm gaze on her silently but it remained only for a brief moment, because the raised voices from the gates soon drew his attention away. She turned to the gates with a frown also as some kind of commotion seemed to be taking place there.

"I must talk to him, please!" A beseeching voice echoed.

Thorin walked past Eilin and towards the gates forcing himself to release the tight grip his arm had on his stomach. The sweat from the effort to keep his head up straight was glistening on his forehead, but he walked over to the entrance proudly and seemingly relatively unruffled on the outside whilst inside he was truly being torn apart.

"The King is not available sir. He is still recovering." One of the guards said.

"Yet, he gave orders for hunt and builders to be send to us. I have to talk to him. Tell him that Bard is here. He will see me. Please, it is imperative."

"I will let his advisor know and when he is available we shall send the ravens at Dale. Now go back on your merry way." The guard's patience was clearly running thin.

"On my merry way?" -Bark harked- "Look, I am here now! Cannot you ask if he can see me?" He tried again.

"No…I told you…" -the soldier began, but a heavy hand landed on his shoulder. The soldier turned his head up and when he saw his King he immediately bowed- "Sir!"

Bard's face broke into a hopeful smile, but the moment he saw the solemn countenance of the King hesitation shadowed his eyes. "Thorin..." He said and cleared his throat.

"Bard." Thorin tilted his head in acknowledgement.

"How are you feeling?" Bard's eyes fell on his body, trying to determine were his mortal wound was.

Thorin squeezed his hand on the guard's shoulder, holding onto him more like a crutch than anything else. "I've seen better days."

Bard swallowed heavily and took off his hat quickly. "We mourned your loss for several days before we were informed that you blessedly survived the battle."

Thorin cast his eyes down thoughtfully and a faded smile brightened up his bleak countenance. "I don't know if I should thank you for thinking me dead..."

Bard seemed at a loss for words and rather embarrassed.

"Nevertheless what you did is deeply appreciated." Thorin continued calmly.

Bard's mouth formed an uncertain smile. "I know we didn't start off at a good footing..."

Thorin closed his eyes and shook his head. "I am really not in the best condition to discuss the mishaps of our first meeting."

Bard nodded eagerly. "Forget about it then. I am not here to remind you of our arguments, but of the past."

Thorin's eyes opened and bore sternly in Bard's.

"Dale had always been Erebor's moon city. Your family has not only ruled your people and this amazing golden city, but my town also. You grew up in Dale, Thorin. The stories I've read spoke of how close your people were with mine. Dale always saw your grandfather as it's King and you know that." Bard's voice turned almost imperative as he began talking.

"I know." Thorin's brow darkened, but he kept any guilt about the destruction of Lake Town away from its new mayor. It was one thing to admit his follies to his comrades and another to speak them on the political arena. His father had taught him well on that front.

"You've send us food and builders and we cannot thank you enough for your help in our time of need." Bard continued.

"But...?" Thorin's deep voice turned dour.

Bard pressed his lips quietly.

"There is always a but, isn't there?" Thorin raised his brow knowingly.

Bard averted his eyes and his fingers toyed with the brim of his hat.

"You are here for the gold again..." Thorin felt no need to play around.

"The moral of the people is broken. We've lost so many in Lake Town. I don't want to burden you with guilt…" Bard began.

"You shall not." Thorin assured him with a fiery stare that ruffled Bard's feathers.

"The gold that belonged to the town...the one that Smaug took when he settled in Erebor is the only one we require back only, not a single penny more. Please, Thorin this will uplift the moral of the people. Dale is in complete ruins. Every family is mourning lost members. Women, children even infants. Lake town is lost, we cannot rebuild it. Only in Dale we might have a chance to create our lives again from the start, but we need a spark of ignition. You are a master trader. You know that without money no trade can flourish. We can start rebuilding and yet the town will remain a ghost without the means that will start the trading with you, the Northmen and Mirkwood. I know it's too soon upon your recovery to make such requests, but you reached out to us first. You send us help. That is what prompted me to come find you. When we thought you were dead we mourned for two days and two nights not because we lost the gold, but because we lost our King. Cannot you understand that? I know that right now you can only think of your kin and how to rebuild this golden Kingdom, but the rest of your people are waiting for you to help them too. The people who sheltered and loved you when you were a young boy" -Bard pointed up towards Dale and Thorin's eyes turned to it also- "the same people that trusted you to kill the dragon and bring the Dwarves back in Erebor. Lake Town was growing up with the legends of the Dwarves under the Mountain and the prosperous times of the past with them as protectors. When they saw the Longbeards returning home, hope reignited in their hearts. Don't take the hope away from them, please. I have no personal gain out of this. I didn't even want to be their mayor. Listen, do it for them. Do it for the people whose parents and grandparents lived in Dale when you and your siblings ran carelessly on its roads and they all saw you as their sovereign. Do it for them." -Bard finished with teary eyes- "I beg you."

Thorin raised his brow and leaned most of his weight on the guard who had understood his function up till then and made no move to dislodge his pained King. "Very well dragon slayer. I shall consider your words very carefully."

Bard frowned in disbelief. "What? That's it?"

"It's more than enough for now." Thorin's eyes burned through Bard and no matter their height difference his loftiness easily diminished his interlocutor.

"I thought you would understand. Especially since you almost lost everything yourself." Bard's demeanour took a plunge.

"I understand more than you realise." Thorin rebuked coldly.

"I don't think you do!" Bard made a move towards him. In desperation or in anger no one would be able to tell, because a heavy war hammer fell in front of Thorin and shook the earth in front of Bard's feet.

"That'd be quite enough!" Dwalin thundered. Gloin, Nori, Balin, Dori and Fili came up behind them.

Bard pulled back. "What is all this? I didn't come here to cause trouble. I just wanted to address the man whom my town considers as their King!"

"And you did address him and he told you he will think about your requests!" Dwalin barked.

"Then why do you all come to his defence as if I was about to strike him down? I only wanted to make him understand how dire our situation is!" Bard flared up.

Fili turned to Nori with a commanding voice. "Ready this man's horse and let him ride back to Dale in peace."

Bard looked dejected at Thorin. "Will you send me away without any answers for the men and women that still mourn their lost?"

Thorin sighed deeply. "Ride back with our deepest condolences and let us mourn our own kin without having to discuss gold during these moments of anguish." His tone was austere.

Bard took hold of the reigns when Nori brought his horse. "I thought all this desolation had touched your heart."

Thorin tilted his head up, but he remained haughtily silent.

"It hasn't..." Bard deducted in sadness and pulled himself up.

"Ride well dragon slayer." Balin was the only one who waved and smiled at him.

Bard gave one last sorrowful look at Thorin and rode quickly down the road.

"Well, we came right on time." Dwalin lifted his hammer and emptied it on his shoulder.

"I don't think the Dragon Slayer intended any harm to our King." Balin reasoned with a deep frown.

"This man went through some heavy losses and fought in a bloody war. He could very well be unstable. I was not about to take any risks!" Dwalin raised his brow.

"It wasn't enough for them to have half our hunt and our builders, now they want our gold too! Well, give a man an inch and then he'll ask for a mile!" Nori crossed his arms angrily.

"He was not insolent, brother. Might I also add that their request is not unfair considering what we did to their town." Dori rejoined quietly.

"Oh, come on. If we allow them into Erebor they will take every single penny away." Nori waved him off.

"It is expected to have requests, but not at this moment where we haven't mourned our dead properly." Fili's voice was heavy.

"It is not expected to have any requests. Dale has been destroyed in the past. Expecting us to rebuild it for them and give them gold in order to live in our expense is pure exploitation!" Nori grumbled.

"Speaking in cold blood brother. It doesn't suit you." Balin chastised.

"Speaking out of his pockets as always." Dwalin added.

"Oh shut up!" Nori spat and crossed his arms.

Balin rubbed his face. "What we just did was stop Thorin from negotiating with Dale, which is something that mourning or not must be taken care off."

"Asking for gold when we haven't even buried my brother yet was insolent!" Fili snapped.

"I don't think they know about your brother son and they have their own dead to think off. We are not the only ones who lost people we love." Balin spoke calmly at the young Prince.

Fili crossed his arms and averted his eyes angrily.

"He came here prancing his Dragon Slayer identity, didn't you see it?" Nori pointed at the dust the hooves of Bard's horse were raising in the distance.

"I saw a broken man asking for what belongs to his people, if you want to know the truth." Balin rebuked firmly.

"As long as he keeps his distance from Thorin..." Dwalin warned.

"Adrâb!"* Thorin's heavy voice thundered the command. All his comrades froze and even several soldiers who were carrying bodies for the great pyre, froze in place.

"I am sorry laddie." Balin gazed at the King regretfully.

"Enough!" -Thorin hissed behind a tight jawline. Then he turned to Fili- "Show the diggers how to go up to the secret entrance we used to enter this place, son."

Fili straightened immediately ready to take an order. "And do what?"

"Gather the skeletons that have been laying there for centuries. When they bring them down they are to wait for my inspection before taking them out to the pyre." Thorin said feeling slightly better after taking control of that blame game which almost drove him mad.

"As you wish uncle." Fili bowed and walked away.

Thorin turned to Balin. "You said the convoy from the Iron Hills is to arrive later in the day?"

Balin nodded. "According to my calculations they should be arriving any minute now."

"Welcome them home for me." Thorin pursed his lips.

"Very well." Balin crossed his arms.

"The rest of you go and get some rest." -Thorin closed his eyes- "Apart from you Gloin."

The ginger bearded Dwarf-Lord who had remained religiously silent through all this puffed up proudly. "At your orders Uzbâd."

"Follow me to the treasury." Thorin rejoined and without the need to address anyone else he limped back inside the gates.

Balin approached Dwalin as they observed Thorin thoughtfully. "You almost cut Bard in half back there brother!"

Dwalin frowned deeply. "Ain't no one coming near Thorin as long as I am alive again. Not after what happened at Ravenhill."

Balin cringed and scratched his long beard. "I understand, but in the end we must leave him alone. He must rule and he cannot do that with us babysitting him."

Dwalin's brows crossed while he seethed in silent fury.

* * *

Several hours later Thorin emerged from the treasury behind a very purposeful Gloin who walked quickly towards the vaults holding several scrolls. His sister was waiting for him at the antechamber of their grandfather's old office, accompanied as always by her maiden.

"I had to wait all noon!" Dis scolded him.

"Why did you?" He hurled back at her not in any mood for niceties.

"Because I need to talk to you about the arrangements you made for Kili's funeral today." She walked up to him quickly.

He pressed his lips feeling exhausted. "Let the boy get some rest Dis. He's been lying cold and untouched for many days."

Her face broke under the pressure. "I wanted to care for him properly before the burial."

"You have time still. It's going to take place in the evening." Thorin shook his head.

She must have seen the defeat of his body posture, because her expression slowly mellowed. "Have you had anything to eat since you woke up?"

He shook his head.

"Eilin made some chicken porridge that might do you some good. You must give it a try. Girl, bring him over a plate now!" Dis ordered.

Eilin turned eagerly to the door, but Thorin's voice stopped her. "No, I cannot eat."

"You can and you will. Even if it's only a spoonful. Go and do as I told you!" -She commanded the girl once more. Eilin rushed out the door before he could stop her again- "You got out of bed way too soon and without the proper nutrition you don't stand a chance of remaining out of it." His sister's voice held the loving tone of scold she always reserved for him.

"Things need to be taken care of Dis. I cannot lay in bed whilst Erebor runs amok." His face contorted in pain as he sat down on the golden gilded chair of Thror.

"And you need to rest, because Erebor won't stand a chance without you." She raised her brow.

"I was resting all night." He rebuked dismissively.

She pursed her lips and crossed her arms. "You slept on a straw mattress in the middle of the great antechamber, having the frozen air from the mountain at your back, very clever."

"You sound like mother, bless her soul." He cracked a smile.

"You don't push your luck like this!" -She reprimanded him- "you've been burning up with fever only a few days ago."

"Did miss tell-a-tale, spill the story about last night then?" Thorin raised his brow irritated.

"Don't wise up Thorin. She is just doing her job, which is to keep an eye on you when I cannot and she is doing it to perfection!" Dis' eyes thinned.

"I am almost two hundred years old. I don't need a nanny." He hurled back at her.

She rolled her eyes. "A hundred and ninety six."

"It's one thing to care for me little sis and another to set stooges on me from dusk till dawn." His lips pressed testily and his eyes checked on her shrewdly.

"She does the night shifts alone. She is just loyal like that. That's why I keep her so close to me and you." Dis flicked her shoulders.

"Alright, fine! Now do you need anything else before I can get on with business?" Thorin shook his head as she was trying his patience with all this small talk.

Dis' demeanour broke then. "Please Thorin allow me three days to prepare my son for proper burial. Allow me to honour my boy..." Her eyes filled with tears.

Thorin felt his throat closing down and he swallowed with difficulty. "The boy needs to rest." He said abruptly.

"He fought bravely by your side and he fell for our Kingdom. Allow me to treat him like the hero he truly is." Her eyes filled with pain.

Thorin's gaze fell on her trembling lip and his heart clenched. "Very well. Funeral will be in three days as our customs order. Take good care of him."

Dis run up to him so fast that he didn't have any time to react. She sat on his knees and embraced him with such fervour that Thorin felt his throat and his eyes burning up. "Thank you brother, thank you."

His hand tightened on her back. "I just require one favour from you."

"Tell me anything!" She looked at him eagerly and caressed his hair.

That is when the door opened up and Balin entered. He gave a disinterested look at the siblings and moved to his designated desk. "Am I bothering?"

"No Balin" -Thorin shook his head and his brow clouded. His steady gaze fell back on his sister- "I want you to ask Tauriel for assistance."

Dis' mouth dropped open and she looked at him confused for a few moments. "What?!" -She stood up and flayed her arms- "What in the name of Khazad-dum did you just tell me?"

Balin turned to them discreetly and crossed his arms.

Thorin tilted his head calmly. "You are going to ask politely Tauriel to assist you with Kili's funeral preparations, as much as her customs allow of course."

Dis' lips upturned into a sarcastic smile. "Oh, of course. We must respect her customs whilst you are disrespecting ours! What has gotten into you Thorin? An Elf assisting on a Dwarf-Lord's funeral? This is unheard of! What would our forefathers have thought of this abomination? Thror would have never allowed this to come to pass!"

Thorin's arms crossed and gazed at her patiently. "Thror is not in charge anymore. I am placing this as a request to you, but I'd like to be heeded."

Dis jawline tightened. "You make it sound like a request whilst in reality it is an order. An unfair order!"

"Unfair to whom?" Thorin thrust his chin up.

"To my son!" Dis snapped, her heavy boot stomping with force on the hexagon plated floor.

"I beg to differ…" Thorin replied calmly.

"Unfair to me!" Dis hurled at him furiously.

Thorin sighed. "You wanted to take care of Kili as our customs command and I want to honour his memory in the best possible way."

"Ordering a She-Elf to clean his noble remains and dress him up is not honouring your nephew!" Dis threw at him.

Thorin's brow rose slowly. "I am asking you, not ordering you, to accept the woman he loved as your assistant in this morbid custom."

Balin cringed as Thorin's heavy words feel upon Dis like led.

She lost her footing and caught herself on the elaborate desk. "That woman…she is not a simple emissary from Thranduil is she?"

Thorin shook his head. "No."

Dis' eyes overflowed with fresh tears. "Kili loved her?"

"They loved each other. She fought to the last of her courage to save him during the battle." Thorin's eyes held a tone of warning, but his voice was soft and caring.

Dis closed her eyes and her breathing picked up. She cupped her bosom and a sob released from the depths of her throat.

"Dis please ask Tauriel. That would have been Kili's last wish." Thorin urged her.

She raised her hand at him. "Stop. Who in the name of Mahal allowed such a thing to happen?"

Thorin frowned confused. "Who would have tried to stop it?"

"You!" -She barked at him- "You were responsible for my children!"

"I am not responsible for their hearts! One cannot control one's heart Dis, what are you saying?" His head shook slightly in disbelief.

"He fell in love with a She-Elf!" Dis spat almost with hatred.

"And you with a miner, if I remember correctly." Thorin raised his brow in authority. He needed to get his sister back in check as this was getting out of hand quickly.

"Oh, that was low…" She hissed.

He shook his head. "You shouldn't speak, much less use prejudice as a stepping stone to lash out to me! You begged Thrain to bless your union when he was denying stealthily you marrying so low in rank."

"Kilskjald was a nobleman! A warrior!" She cried and a sob raked her trembling chest.

"He was indeed, but so is Tauriel. A brave and loyal woman who loved your son to death." He had to try hard to stay calm.

She raised her hand to him assertively. "Stop! Just stop this nonsense! Kilskjald was a Dwarf and our father did bless our union in the end. He understood how good this man was for me!"

Thorin exhaled and cast his eyes downwards for several moments. Telling his sister the truth about Thrain's decision was not a good idea. He kept the secret for ages, he was not about to reveal it now. "Indeed, then maybe you should be as fair with Tauriel as our father was with Kilskjald." He quietly agreed.

Balin raised his brow critically.

"She is an Elf!" Dis pointed furiously towards the door.

"Overlook race and fulfil your son's last wishes. He would have wanted this..." Thorin tried again as calmly as he could.

"He is right lassie." Balin joined in.

Dis remembered the old advisor's presence. "And you've been saying all this in front of him…great!"

"Balin has known us since we were children. We've got nothing to hide from him. He's been advising our family for almost two centuries." Thorin dismissed her.

Dis inhaled sharply and turned her attention to him. "You've found the wrong time to inform me of all this. This is not going to come to fruition. Forget it!"

Thorin flicked his eyebrow and nodded. "Very well, who are you going to use as an assistant?"

"Eilin." Dis thrust her chin up.

He leaned back and looked at her thoughtfully for a couple of moments. "I will need Eilin in my service for the next four days."

Dis looked up sharply and paled. "What?"

"She is loyal, you said it yourself and I need assistance." He rejoined nonchalantly.

Dis swallowed heavily and felt the earth pulling out from under her feet. "Don't do this to me Thorin." She whispered.

"You shall ask Tauriel for assistance mother of Kili! You will put your egotism aside and think of your son's last wishes. I requested it before, now I am ordering you."He glowered at her.

Dis' body deflated and her eyes welled. "Please Thorin, no…"

"As for your Firebeard maiden, she enters my service until all this menagerie with Kili's funeral comes to an end!" Thorin commanded haughtily. His deep voice gravitated on the chamber heavily.

Dis knew she couldn't escape this ruling side of her brother. She took another step back and more tears run down her face. "You are forcing my hand." She muttered.

The door opened up, but no one turned to look at Eilin who entered holding a tray. She paused uncertain how to proceed when she felt the heavy tension in the room.

"I am not looking to comfort you or me! I am trying to honour your son!" Thorin thundered suddenly.

Eilin felt all the colour draining from her face and held onto the tray tightly.

Dis forced herself to face her brother and wiped the tears with the back of her hand. "An order then?" She stammered.

"An order!" He spat through his gritted teeth.

She backed up to the door and turned the handle. She made one final, fruitless attempt. "Thorin..."

Behind Thorin's eyes there was boiling wrath. "Îmi!"** He spat.

Dis threw the door open and left them without any more words. Silence reigned all around until the door slid shut once more.

Eilin made to leave the tray down and follow her mistress, but this time the King's authoritative voice came for her. "You are to remain!"

She felt cold sweat breaking on her nape. "My mistress…" She pointed at the door.

"You've changed masters temporarily." He replied dismissively.

She bend her knees and crossed her hands in front of her apron. "As you command, Sir."

Thorin closed his eyes and rubbed his face.

"That was a noble thing you did there laddie." Balin smiled.

Thorin's voice came back muffled. "I have forgotten the ease with which she can anger me."

"You held it on very well, but she doesn't know everything. If she knew maybe she wouldn't have been so adamant against the Tauriel." Balin raised his brow.

"Neither will she know...now silence!" Thorin pulled his hands away and gave a vexed nod towards the frozen maiden.

Balin nodded in understanding. "Come lassie bring the food over. I will force him to eat it."

Thorin's lips curled down. "I am sorry you had to hear all this."

Balin waved him off as Eilin placed the tray on Thorin's elaborate office.

"I've been with you for centuries, you said it yourself. There isn't one thing I don't know about you or her. Well maybe there are some things that Dwalin knows better, but I will never admit that to him." Balin harked.

Thorin smiled and his eyes fell on the maiden who stood by the door. "Take her down to the service quarters and give her a room. Choose some clothes for her that bear my sigil, if there are any."

Balin raised his brows. "Your sigil? You are taking this more seriously than I thought."

Thorin twisted his lips. "When you finish with the girl inform everyone that Kili's funeral will take place in three days as is ordered by our protocol. Per request of his mother."

Balin nodded. "Of course."

Thorin kept his friend's eyes thoughtfully for a few moments before speaking again. "Give Dis some time and then check to see if she is alright."

Balin's face softened by degrees. "My pleasure." -He then engaged the girl's elbow who looked partly lost, partly flustered- "Come on lassie, I'll get you dressed according to etiquette. You are in the service of the King now."

Eilin gave a troubled look at the King above her shoulder as the door slowly closed behind them.

* * *

When Balin opened the door to Eilin's new room, her mouth dropped open in surprise and awe. "Oh...damn..." She whispered.

"You look absolutely flabbergasted." Balin smiled at her.

She forced her mouth to close. "This is a proper room."

"What do you mean?" Balin frowned and entered the small, but very well organised service quarters.

She took an experimental step inside too. "I mean this is not a common place to sleep with other servants."

Balin took some logs and threw them in the small fireplace. "Of course it's not."

"But I've never slept alone." She frowned, understanding how strange that must have sounded to the old royal advisor.

Balin turned to her with a teasing smile. "That didn't sound very proper."

Her teeth nibbled her lower lip and her eyes avoided his. "I meant that I always slept in common rooms. I never had a room of my own."

Balin tried to start up the fire as the room needed to warm up before she could manage to settle properly in here. It was freezing cold. "Well, you are in the service of the King now lassie. You cannot sleep in the common rooms with the rest of the servants."

Her fingers started playing with the end of her apron and she gazed around. "How in the name of Mahal did I end up here?" She muttered under her breath feeling totally unequipped to deal with what was happening.

"Did you say something?" Balin turned to her, finally managing to light up a good fire.

"No master." She bowed politely.

"I am not your master. He is in the royal office probably trying to convince himself to eat your porridge." Balin chuckled at the thought.

She cast her gaze to her apron timidly. "I hope the King enjoys my food, Lord Balin."

Balin sighed and went to the cupboard. "I can assure you the King right now is unable to enjoy anything."

Eilin cringed regretfully. "I have figured that already, Sir."

Balin raised his brow and looked through the clothes that were hanging in there. "This hasn't been opened since Rótha, Thror's personal maiden was living here."

Eilin looked up surprised. "I am staying in the quarters of King Thror's first maiden?!"

Balin raised his brow appreciatively at her. "You are King Thorin's first maiden, where did you expect to reside?"

Eilin rubbed her face, wanting in some manner to cast away the disconcerting feeling that was abounding in her stomach. She shook her head at a loss for words.

He shuffled through the clothes, trying to find something suitable for her. "Why do you seem so surprised lassie? You are apparently doing a very good job, else you wouldn't have ended up in Dis' servitude in the first place."

Eilin shook her head and touched the soft orange quilt that was covering her large bed. Two stone carved nightstands were on each side of it. A small but adequate fireplace, whose chimney was splitting in two thick metal pipes. One run the length of her floor under the polished wooden floorboards heating it up adequately. The other was travelling upwards to join other chimneys through the domes until it spewed its smoke for the first time in centuries on top of the Lonely mountain. Two small orange easy chairs stood on either side of a table and behind them was the cupboard that Balin was shuffling through. Another door was next to the cupboard. The room had no windows as it was deep underground, but she couldn't have cared less. This was the first time in her life that she was offered a place of her own. When she was living in the villages, they usually told her to sleep in the stables amongst the horses and the pigs. Back at the tavern they made her sleep along with the rest of the female servants, some of whom were getting paid for more personal services on occasion.

"I honestly don't know what I did to deserve all this." She spoke under her breath while her eyes feasted on her small quarters, seemingly not getting enough of them.

Balin pulled out a set of earthy breaches, a white tunic and a vest with brown fur on the collar and scrutinised them. "Apart from being at the right time in the right place you must have done something extraordinary to grab Dis' attention. What was it?"

Eilin sat at the edge of her bed. "I was working at the stables, Sir. One fine morning the Princess with the two noble daughters of Master Fain rode past me as I was taking out a war ram for feeding. I saw something golden sparkle in the air as the princess' pony galloped away from me. A golden bead had fallen from her beautiful raven hair and I picked it up. I admire her so much" -she looked up wistfully- "she is so beautiful."

Balin brought her the clothes over. "Dis is indeed extremely beautiful and she was always considered one of the most wanted dwarrowdams of our kin. She takes after grandfather Thror along with Thorin. Both her and her brother had raven hair in youth, but time and worries tainted Thorin's with several streaks of silver whilst Dis was much luckier and retained their beautiful colour. Dis' brother Frerin took after their mother's fair complexion and hair, much like Dis' son Fili."

Eilin smiled at that little bit of precious information about the King's family.

Balin pursed his lips as he continued. "So what happened to the golden bead?"

Eilin touched the soft leather of the vest Balin had brought her. "Instead of giving it to my supervisor I decided to approach the Princess when she returned from her ride to give it myself."

Balin crossed his arms patiently."Did they allow you to approach?"

Eilin's mouth formed a small uncertain smile. "I sneaked when no one was looking. When they noticed me I was already presenting her with the bead. Next day they took me out of the stables and led me to her chambers. I was asked to comb her long hair. I had no experience in combing through hair that had so many braids, but I tried my best to please her. You must understand that I was never trained to be a maiden. I am a stable girl and a tavern waitress." Her lips turned down disappointed.

"It takes practice to be perfect. Nevertheless I have seen nothing but proper manners from you since you arrived. What you did with Dis was truly honourable. You could have kept that hair bead. I suppose it had studs in it?"

Eilin shook her head vigorously. "Yes, diamond studs!"

Balin pursed his lips. "Selling it would have offered you a new start in life."

Eilin's well formed brows creased above her alabaster forehead. "I may have been a peasant all my life, but I am no thief, Lord Balin!" She seemed heavily offended even at the thought of doing such a thing.

Balin smiled reassuringly. "That's exactly why you are here at this moment and not at Fain's stables lassie."

Eilin offered him a long look and then turned her attention at the beautiful breaches of her new uniform. On one trouser leg there was a sigil sawn with a thread of a slightly deeper colour than the fabric. It was discreet, but clear enough to be distinguishable. She looked at the lapels of her tunic and they had the same hexagon plated sigil stitched up. "King Thorin's sigil?" She looked up at Balin.

He smiled sweetly. "Indeed. Be proud to wear it lassie. It's a rare honour."

She felt her eyes watering and looked away quickly. "I am more than proud Sir. I am in debt for life..."

Balin's eyebrows creased as he spoke after a small silent moment. "Wearing the King's sigil means that you answer to no one's orders but his. No one else will be allowed to ask you to serve them. Soon people are going to start rolling in, either from the Iron Hills or from all around Middle Earth. You must maintain your stature through the upcoming turmoil. That means you must learn to deny, you must lift your head up proudly and you must learn to respond to people who might wish to slight you." His voice sounded austere.

"Now you are scaring me." She whispered.

"I am not supposed to scare you, but to prepare you." Balin raised his brow.

Eilin looked at her fingers and smiled. "I will try Sir."

Balin observed her quietly for a long time before speaking again. "How did you end up in the Iron Hills in the first place?"

Eilin inhaled deeply. "I used to work in a tavern close to the village of Bree. The owners found me at their doorstep when I was a baby and decided to give me a chance." She tried not to sound too bitter.

"The Prancing pony?" Balin asked.

Her eyes sparkled when she understood that he knew these lands well. "No, the Forsaken Inn. A day's ride east of Bree. You know it?"

Balin smirked. "Sure do."

She offered him the first wide and honest smile. "I suppose Maria and Thomas -the owners- were not so bad to me. They had five children of their own to raise and only the Inn as a source of income. Having to feed an extra mouth must have been hard. They could have chosen to drop me in the river and forget I ever existed, but they took me in."

"You were raised a …"

She interrupted him. "…a servant, not their family. I slept down in the kitchens when I was cooking and cleaning or amidst the other female servants no matter that their professions became intimate with the proper price, at times. Mind you Mister Balin, I never did something like that, even though it was hard not to notice what was happening sometimes right next to my face!" She straightened her body proudly, but her voice had a taint of embarrassment in it.

Balin nodded. "I would have never believed something like that for you."

Her body slowly deflated. "It's easy to fall into that profession when you don't have any money and you are working amongst prostitutes, you know. But I never gave in to the peer pressure no matter how penniless I ended up being."

Balin frowned. "Your adopted parents asked you to work like one?"

She flicked her shoulders and her lips curled down. "Finally they did, yes. They needed the money. I cannot blame them."

"Sweet Mahal." Balin shuddered.

She frowned at her hands. "I never accepted to be touched by men, but in the end they finally got me well and good." -She offered the room a vaguely bitter smile and the sarcasm was clear in her voice- "I am not pure anymore and it wasn't by choice."

Balin's brow darkened.

She offered him a brief gaze of deep embarrassment. "I was forced. You know that is nothing unusual if you work in such places."

Balin pulled up straight feeling abhorred.

"Don't act so surprised Lord Balin. I mean you are Dwarves. You have different customs and different attitudes towards women. Men don't respect their female counterparts as much, especially in these dark taverns which become home to the most unlawful specimens of Middle Earth."

Balin composed himself, but after that revelation his attitude became much more careful towards Eilin. "How did you leave that tavern?"

"After what happened I was fed up I suppose. Gathered my things, which was nothing more than a few pennies and some tattered clothes and hit the road one night. My adopted parents told me that I was something between a Dwarrowdam and a woman. In my clothes there was this small waistband that had the Firebeard sigil on it. When I ran away from the Forsaken Inn, I decided to try and join one of the Dwarfish cities that were surrounding us. I was hopeful that at least the Dwarves would take me in with open arms. I was delusional like that always...Nobody takes you in with open arms. You have to fight for your paradise, right?" She smiled bitterly.

Balin's frown deepened, but he remained silent wanting to hear this girl's story.

"I had the choice of going to the Blue Mountains, which was the closest to me. Unfortunately though it was the house of the Longbeards of Erebor and I found the prospect of approaching these legendary Dwarf-Lords as intimidating as returning to that hellish tavern. Khazad-dum was taken over by Orcs, the Grey mountains were abandoned and the Orocarni of the four clans was too far away to venture into alone as I was."

"What about Nogrod or Belegost, the home of the Firebeards. You had your parent's sigil with you, right?" Balin's voice was quiet.

"I didn't want to even try to search for my father or mother. I was a cast off. They abandoned me. That meant that they didn't want anything to do with me. I would never impose myself to them and cause them more grief." A single tear running down her cheek.

Balin sighed deeply. "A noble mind duels inside that pretty head of yours lassie."

She smiled bitterly and wiped that tear away quickly. "Thank you."

"So that left you only the Iron Hills, habitude of the Dwarfs that fled Ered Mithrin. Wasn't that as terrifying to you as meeting the Longbeards of Erebor?" Balin tilted his head with a sweet smile, feeling rather charmed by this young lady.

"Equally dreaded yes" -she huffed- "but the choice in the end was taken away from me. I travelled for a long time in difficult hard roads alone. I slept in the open and ate what I could hunt. I became an almost feral creature. I was running around the Dunlands for several months, slowly forgetting what I originally wanted to do when lady luck smiled down to me for the first time since I was born. A family of immigrating Dwarves found me in the Dunlands. I was trying to steal some food from them. One recognised my small stature and they approached me slowly by offering me food. You must understand that I was so hungry then I would have followed even Orcs home if they gave me something to eat. When I felt my hunger satiated enough I began to talk. I told them my story and reassured them that I was half Dwarfish by showing them the small belt that I still had in my possession. They took me into their company and used me as a servant. They were making their way to the Iron Hills, relocating house."

Balin raised his head. "That's how you ended up in Dain's care?"

She shook her head. "No, master Fain took me in and he was kinder than the rest of my masters. He allowed me to work in the stables and sleep with the animals, which might sound atrocious to you Lord Balin, but it is very warm and comfortable. If you exclude the nasty smell." She scrunched her nose.

Balin smiled. "Nothing can sound atrocious to me lassie. We were driven out of this Kingdom wearing only the clothes that we had on us. We roamed the empty wastelands for years before settling in the Dunlands ourselves years prior to your birth. Out there in the wild with no home, no money and no food, there were no Lords or Kings between us. We were all equally striving to make a living. I was keeping logistic books in many taverns along the way. My brother was axe training anyone who cared for his services and became a paid soldier several times over. Even Thorin was working as a swordsmith, servicing lesser men than him, as he is quite excellent in forging swords. Many found him equal to the Elvish masters, so he sold his trade on several noble homes in order to make a living. We slept in the wild for many years. Nothing can make me cringe, since I've been through it all."

She pressed her lips and frowned at him. "Is that why you are so kind towards me?"

The corner of his mouth tilted up. "Maybe. I've seen too much darkness in life and I know how to appreciate everything worthy that comes along my way."

"I am worthy?" She frowned and held his gaze searchingly.

"You are a kind soul and a bright minded, honourable girl who also happens to be very attractive." Balin smiled kindly at her.

She felt her cheeks glowing red. "That is why all this seems so unbelievable to me Lord Balin. I am not used to being treated like this."

"You mean like a Dwarrowdam?" Balin raised his brow.

Those words took a moment to sink in. Slowly she offered him a nod and a shudder run down her back. "Like a dwarrowdam, yes." She muttered feeling her eyes welling up again. Never had anyone treated her more kindly that this Dwarf-Lord. Not even the Dwarfish family that saved her from the wild or master Fain. Except maybe for Princess Dis.

Balin pressed his lips thoughtfully. "I think you should start getting used to this treatment. Now down the corridor and to your left are the common hot springs of the servants. They are naturally heated by the volcano rivers under the mountain like all the other springs. Use them to take a bath, change your clothes and go up to royal offices. You must always be ready to serve the King."

She straightened her slim body eagerly and nodded like a small child nods happily to a request from their parents. "Yes Lord Balin, straight away."

He pointed a finger at her before opening her door. "And fix that wild hair of yours lassie. Make a couple of good braids to keep them in check, alright?"

She nodded happily and the door closed. Then she was suddenly alone with her thoughts and the crackling of the wood on the hearth. Her eyes feasted around the small beautiful room that was hers and she glared at the key on her door almost surprised that she had the ability to lock the world outside. Resisting the sudden urge to do so at that moment, she stood up and opened the door next to the cupboard. A small toilet with a faucet was there, allowing her a newfound privacy that seemed almost improbable to her. She felt her chest welling dangerously again and her mind overflowed with the darkness of the road she had to walk in, in order to get here.

Instead of letting every negative emotion take a hold of her she shook her head and looked back at her new clothes. Energetically she picked them up and taking the key of her room she went out in search of the hot springs, making sure she locked the door behind her. Instead of mopping in misery of her nightmarish life up till now, she was going to do the best she could to please the people who were giving her a second chance in life and she was not going to let them down. With a new fire burning in the depths of her heart she walked decisively down the corridor, not caring anymore to raise her hood in order to hide her voluminous ginger hair and her hairless face.

She had to learn how to walk proudly and it was going to be a long road in order to manage that, but very much worth it.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Stop (command)
> 
> ** Get out (command)


	12. *The loneliest day of my life

_This part of my life was never recorded in the books of history in any form. This part remained under locks for everyone but a handful of people, which didn't include the majority of my family and remains as such to this day, for what is left of my family. That day I don't know how I survived or why she cursed me to live on in order to remember what I had done to her….with my decisions. That day Thorin the second, grandson of Thror and heir of Durin, not having earned the name Oakenshield yet, remained back there at that snowy, slippery turn half a day ride south of Ravenhill for as long as I can remember. I am old now, sour and tired. I've been through hell all these years and still that day remains the worst day….the most lonely day of my life….that horrid day my hair grew grey streaks in the blink of an eye. So much soul was torn away from me ...that I sometimes think Thorin the second is still there….smiling back at me with malevolence, half hidden behind his youthful raven hair and strong body, wickedly happy that I have lived to regret everything that I said and did…_

_"Thorin wait!" Dwalin cried behind him, but he was unable to stop. If he stopped now he feared that he would die on the spot. He had to know. He had to see it for himself._

_"No…no…no…" each negation fell out of his mouth heavily along with each heaving breath. His war ram galloped quickly above the slippery snowy paths of the narrow road. He heard the unmistakable slip of Dwalin's ram behind him. He felt the vibration of the earth as animal and rider fell on the road. Dwalin's curse in Khuzdul sounded painful and bitten through gritted teeth, yet he didn't even turn to check on his friend. His eyes were already overflowing with tears. He could see the outlines of the road and the trees. He could discern the faded colours as the sun had began setting behind the Lonely Mountain, but not much of anything else._

_From the moment the news found him on the training grounds all his senses joined in a single point of urgency. The need to see it first. The need to make sure that what he heard had been correct. Now as he turned the corner and saw the outlines of a carriage his blood froze. The two guards alerted by his fast galloping pulled quickly aside, just in time before he alighted next to them. His fierce gaze turned to them as his wild hair whiplashed his cheeks. "Where is it!?" He thundered and his monumental voice echoed in the frozen ravines below._

_"Down there, but you cannot go like this, your Majesty. We need to tie a rope around you." One of the guards tried to reason._

_No need to reason with someone who had no reason left at that moment. Thorin threw himself down the side of the cliff, half rolling, half running down its steep face. Using branches to stop his momentum and even tree barks to keep himself from falling to his own death. When he landed next to the carriage he was already cut in several places on his forearms and his cheek was oozing blood from a rather deep gash._

_"No…no…no" he muttered as his eyes looked at the carriage with ever-growing panic. He growled as he began searching for her like a maniac. He could only hear his heart thumping hard and nothing else. Their processions were all scattered across the bottom of the cliff. Open packages spilling out her most intimate undergarments. The tears blurred his eyes and he wiped them away angrily. "No…no…please…no." His chant continued as he silently prayed this was a dream when in reality it was a blood curdling nightmare. The front wheel was broken. One piece was still attached to the axis, the other nowhere to be seen. Then he saw a leg…then an arm. He felt his breath catching as his hand grabbed hold of the carriage to keep himself upright. The two ponies were still tied on the reigns. One was dead with a broken neck. The other was struggling to stand on broken legs. Its pained neighing send shivers down his back. His eyes turned to Cael and he felt his stomach turning. A thick wooden plank from the carriage had passed through his torso. Its pointy end was glistening red from Cael's blood as it had saturated the wood all along its length._

_Thorin lips begun trembling and he felt the world emptying him into the void. Suddenly all sounds seized, everything got erased and he could only look at her. At her body laying prone, under a tree, near its bark. She looked as if she had decided to lay down in order to rest after a long day's work in the most improbable position. One leg was raised way up near her torso, her arm was twisted behind her back and her face was turned abnormally upwards. She was almost looking at the tree branches above. Strangely she wasn't bloody at all. Only a small trickle was visible at the side of her mouth. Her eyes were wide open, seemingly accusing the snowy sky for her grim fate. He took three quivering steps closer and looked at her beautiful hazel eyes. Her windows to the soul was now void. "Siv?" He whispered already knowing that she couldn't answer._

_He kneeled heavily by her side and his wide palm landed on her small back, covering most of it. "Siv please no…I didn't mean what I said. Don't do this to me, please. Don't leave me alone here…". He gasped feeling his chest tightening. More tears run down his cheeks. "I was an idiot, please don't punish me like this. I will deny the crown, I will marry you...I was so wrong, please come back." His wide palm turned into a tight fist and he punched the middle of her back almost in hatred. An empty sound thumbed under his skin. He felt his sobs releasing, shaking his body to the core, but he didn't hear them. His fingers picked up a handful of her coat and curled around it possessively. His other hand covered her cheek and when he felt her frozen skin under his fingers his body spasmed and released a feral cry of despair that resounded across the mountain tops and down the rolling hills. His body bend, defeated by fate, by choices, by luck and covered hers protectively. Not wanting to let her go, he bawled above her dead body until Dwalin's broken voice pierced through his excruciating pain._

_"Oh Mahal…"_

_The hands of his friend enraptured his back, but he couldn't move. He remained there for a long time letting his wails, become hard sobs and then whimpers. Then he was quiet, with his eyes burning and his heart empty and cold. There was only silent lament for him. Dwalin's body remained on top of him, protecting him from the hard elements with his coat as Thorin's body protecting Siv's. Only when the dry convulsions of his chest became scarce did he pull back just enough to see her empty eyes forever staring at the frozen branches above. He raised his hand and closed her eyes, feeling once more his chest welling when her eyelids resisted him. Another convulsion came up, accompanied by a painful groan._

_"Thorin let me carry her on top, please. It's over, she's gone." Dwalin's quiet voice intruded his thoughts once more._

_He drew back and with hands that were shaking too much he unclipped her belt. "Take her father up. I will bring her." His voice was a distant croak, almost unrecognisable. He felt the coldness hitting his back as Dwalin followed his request._

_Then his fingers got buried in her tight braids and touched his hair bead. The one that bore his sigil. The one he gave her that amazing day they remained in the stables and kissed till night fell on them. One of the blessed nights they decided once more not to honour the Dwarfish marital customs and allowed themselves to be consumed by a fiery tornado that took their breaths away. His tears ran down the side of his nose and touched the top of his lip. He was sobbing again as he began undoing her braid slowly. His fingers moved expertly even though the falling snow flakes had numbed them down completely._

_He licked the saltiness of his tears and another sob escaped him when he remembered the warmth of her naked skin under his hot fingertips even more boldly now that she was frozen. Instead of being honoured to feel it now once more, he was cursed to feel the stiffness of her hair and the coldness of the golden bead as he pulled it free._

_Even though he ended their relationship when he chose his family instead of her, now he felt the totality of that ending irreversible. It would have been a difficult task to live without her, but at least the knowledge that she was alive and trying to make some sort of life away from him was a consolation. Now?…nothing could console him and he felt like his heart would never rise up from the darkest pits._

_When he pulled out the hair bead he looked at her undone braid, slightly moving with the frozen wind and he felt his heart clenching. As another torrent of sobs broke out of his chest he began redoing the braid with as much patience and care as he had taken to undo it. When he finished he used one of her extra beads to keep it in place. Then he pushed her around and saw all the frozen leaves sticking on her coat and breeches. It felt like her body was part of the forest bed, like he was overturning a fallen log that had remained unmoved for centuries. He tucked her hair away from her pale face and his thumb caressed her blue lips._

_The distressed neighing of the broken pony intruded his nightmare so violently that he felt adrenaline rushing through his veins. He sprang up so unexpectedly that Dwalin jerked back surprised. He pulled his sword and pierced the pony's head with one clean stroke. The animal exhaled and closed its eyes. Thorin withdrew his bloody sword and seethed it. Then his haunted stare fixed on Siv once more._

_"Let me help you with her." Dwalin's voice sounded distant, even alien to his buzzing ears._

_"Go up with her father." He said with a rough voice that felt unused for centuries. He remained there standing still, not feeling the snow freezing his skin. The heavy footsteps of Dwalin echoed into the forest as the large Dwarf struggled in order to bring the body of Cael back up. The guards send down a rope and that was how Dwalin managed his impossible task. Thorin remained there looking over at the dead love of his life for what seemed like ages._

_Then he slipped his arms under her small fragile body and picked her up. Her head folded backwards with a crackling sound that made his stomach turn. He used the crease of his elbow to bring it back up. Then he undertook the formidable task of bringing her up himself. He denied the rope thrice and it was only by Dwalin's caring solicitude that he managed to hoist her to the top of the cliff. When they reached the carriage he felt like he didn't belong in this world anymore. His mind had escaped into nothingness. He placed her respectfully next to her father and covered them both with heavy quilts. He rode back on the pony of the carriage, keeping his empty stare ahead._

_Many times during their silent ride did Dwalin try to speak to him, but Thorin kept his expressionless eyes away from the carriage and his mouth shut. When they finally reached the gates of Erebor, he alighted holding Siv's belt tightly in his hand. When he looked at the guards bowing for him he felt completely numb, but as he took the first step inside his blood began pumping quicker and quicker._

_The memories of their times together came rushing to his head hot and demanding, making his nape crawl with the same dormant wrath which made him kill the pony with such ease and the need to avenge her unfair death became dire. But avenge her against whom? Nature? The broken wheel of her carriage that slipped on the frozen road and send them to their deaths? Or maybe avenge her against himself, for he was the one who send her away?_

_He had chosen his lineage and his family to a shared life with her. He could have kept her there. They could have been sleeping at this very moment naked under some heavy quilt warming their bodies against the cold, embracing lovingly as husband and wife. Instead he send her away and now she was dead, with her neck broken and her body sprawled in that carriage like a rag doll._

_When his furious pace echoed upon the long bridge that led to the throne, he was so angry he could barely keep himself from drawing his sword and slaying everyone in front of him. His eyes fell on his grandfather. The bane of his existence, sitting there peacefully on his great throne with the Arkenstone sparkling above his head. His long beard was as always full of gems and his long golden sawn coat was touching the ground. His fingers were full of rare rings and amidst them was the one ring that corrupted his soul. The ring that obliged Thorin to send Siv away in order to help his family. His throat convulsed and his chest vibrated as a low key growl tried to emerge and he pushed it back down ruthlessly. Then his eyes fell at Thrain who unclasped his hands and walked quickly over when he saw his son coming to him wet from head to foot and full of bloody scratches._

_"Have you been up the snowy peaks of Ravenhill? What news Thorin?" Thror asked per usual, not having felt the urgency of Thorin's pace. Neither had he noticed the painful expression of Dwalin who was following him._

_Thorin ignored his grandfather and came face to face with his father._

_"What's wrong son? What happened?" Thrain frowned truly concerned._

_Thorin opened his mouth to speak but instead his chest convulsed and only a moan came up that made him frown even deeper. He reached out and grabbed his father's arm. He drew it to him violently and his wild eyes bore into Thrain's. Instead of making an effort to speak, he crushed his father's forearm with so much strength that Thrain opened his palm and his mouth in pain. Then Thorin slammed Siv's belt in his father's open palm and whispered with a broken voice. "She is dead."_

_Their eyes burned onto each other for what seemed like an eternity. Then Thorin turned around and left._

_"What in the name of Mahal has gotten into the boy Thrain?" Thror asked truly flabbergasted._

_As for Thrain, his pale face settled…he tightened his fingers around the belt until his knuckles became white and his only eye blazed under his bushy eyebrow._

_That was the last he saw of his older son for a fortnight and the last he heard of his voice for almost two full moon circles…._

* * *

Thorin opened his eyes feeling streams of sweat running down his temples. His hand went up in his hair and searched in dead panic for his golden bead. When he touched it he sighed in relief and closed his eyes again, longing to shed off the dreaded nightmare that had overtaken his nap. He had eaten with difficulty some of the food the maiden brought him, opened up some of the maps in order to refresh his memory of Erebor's structure and then fatigue overtook him. Overlooking his serious wound he pressed on until his body gave up. When he sat on that comfortable easy chair intending to rest his eyes and body for a while, he didn't expect to sleep upright within moments.

His fingers caressed the ring on the third finger of his right hand thoughtfully. It was the ring he forged after her death. It had his rune and hers carved together. His sister had been the most insistent in learning what the other rune stood for, but he avoided her easily by telling her that it meant Sovereign. She made fun of him for thinking so highly about himself, but that was the end of her intrusive questions. The rest of his family never truly bothered, apart from Thrain, who already knew what those runes meant.

He inhaled deeply and the need to tear away his skin in order to escape from the heat of that fire felt overpowering. He pushed himself up and went to his office, relishing at the cooler air that was there. Longing to shed something off of him, no matter what that was, he undid his hexagon plated belt buckle and took off his leather vest. He sat down again and drew in a deep breath of gratification.

Time rolled by with him resting his head on his palm and keeping his eyes closed. Trying to push away the images that could threaten to shake his sanity to the roots, as he remembered every single detail of Siv's unfair death. The temperature on the frozen mountainside, the howling of the wind amidst the trees, the initial hardness of the pony's skull and the soft squishiness immediately after his sword thrust through it. The stiffness of Siv's coat as he turned her around and the leaves sticking on the fabric of her breeches. Last but not least he remembered the crackling sound of her neck…a strong shudder shook his body and all his hair stood up in terrified attention…that sound was still echoing in his ears like a never ending repetitive torment.

A knock on the door made him reopen his eyes and try to establish a direct line with reality.

"Enter!" He spat through his teeth, not in the mood to see anyone.

Fili entered. "Are you working?"

Thorin shook his head. "Come in, let me check your back."

Fili came around the desk. "I am much better uncle, don't worry. Oin's been on me like a hawk."

Thorin's hand touched Fili's back above the tourniquet that Oin had been religiously changing for the Prince. "Does it hurt a lot?"

Fili smiled. "It's much better and you worry more than you should."

Thorin's lips curled down. "I didn't take care of you as I should have my boy. Will you ever be able to forgive me?"

Fili kneeled next to him and touched his hand lovingly. "You are like a father to me and you've been taking care of me since I can remember. Don't guilt trip yourself. There was nothing that you could have done differently."

"I could have left you behind with Dis. Like Thrain did with me when he left to retrieve that damned ring. He wanted me to be alive in order to take care of his people. I could have done the same to you and Kili. You are the next in line for the throne. I jeopardised your safety. I didn't act wisely." Thorin's voice was overburdened with regret. His recent nightmare was not assisting him in overcoming all these feelings either, it was actually feeding all the darkness that was slumbering in him.

"I thought you wanted to have your best warriors by your side." Fili looked at his uncle calmly.

"My best warriors are the ones that will take over the Kingdom after my death." Thorin raised his brow.

"I wouldn't have stayed behind and you know my little brother would have followed you anywhere. All this guilt trip is useless. Didn't you want to fight in Moria next to your father? Did he keep you safe back in the Blue Mountains or did he take you with him?" Fili tilted his head.

Thorin shook his head. "It's not the same. Moria was a joined purpose of all the clans of our kin."

"Erebor was also a joined purpose." Fili interposed.

Thorin's brow clouded. "Moria was a battle of several thousands. This mission was doomed from the start. Only thirteen Dwarves…"

"Only thirteen Dwarves had the balls to reclaim Erebor for all the Seven Kingdoms. Don't you realise what you have accomplished?" Fili frowned unable to believe Thorin's self punishment.

"I asked you before. At what cost did we do that, son? I never wanted Kili dead…" He felt his eyes watering.

Fili frowned. "No one did, but soldiers fall in a war. We are soldiers uncle. Some of us stood back up, some remained fallen, but they fell bravely. That's what matters. Don't think that it's not difficult for me too. I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that Kili is not here anymore."

Thorin's demeanour shadowed. "I lost my grandfather in the battle of Azanulbizar and you've lost your father. One can accept losing an older family member that has lived their life to the fullest, but losing a brother….it is not easy my son. It took me a long time to come to terms with Frerin's loss. Sometimes I still think I haven't managed it, but the pain is bearable. That's all I can say to you."

Frerin's gaze was fixed on his uncle. "I know."

Thorin's brow wrinkled. "We all have to move on. Your mother needs you now and this Kingdom too. I can see you standing tall, taking command and I feel proud of you. Mourn for your brother, lament him, but know that it does get better and Kili's spirit shall forever stand by you."

Fili smiled sadly.

Thorin's eyes looked searchingly at Fili's face for a long moment. Then he pulled him close and pointed at the maps he had been studying before. "See here?"

Fili glanced over. "These look like the furnaces you fired up when Smaug was after us."

"Indeed they are. Now let's see if I remember this golden abandoned tomb correctly." Thorin face turned dour as he pulled in more maps from the side of Thror's elaborate desk. He opened them up with the help of Fili and mumbled beneath his breath for several moments, when the door knocked again.

This time it was Fili who called "enter" as Thorin was too preoccupied with his maps.

Gloin and Balin came in together.

Thorin gazed at them absently and saw his maiden standing loyally outside the doors. "Bring her in also." He commanded and turned his attention back to the maps. He took a large pen and began cycling some areas.

Balin led Eilin inside and she stood next to the doors, while Gloin and Thorin's advisor approached the desk.

Thorin looked fleetingly at Fili. "See here?" He pointed at the large circles he had made.

Fili nodded quizzically.

"There are furnaces like the ones you saw in the upper levels. Mostly they were used to melt gold and silver, but also for heating up the place. I want you to take any brimstone masters, if there are such trades amidst the soldiers..." He looked searchingly at Fili.

"There are." The young Prince hurried to reassure him.

"You will fire up these furnaces that I have circled and you will start from the lowest levels. That will assist the ones higher up to fire up more easily. Are there any water-works masters?" Thorin continued.

"There are." Fili replied quickly.

"The water pipes will help you work up the furnaces. Water is the force behind the wheels that heat up these beasts. Ask Bombur's help, he was very good at that at my Halls." Thorin frowned thoughtfully.

Balin shook his head. "If the bellows are not rusted from being unused for so many ages they will fire up easily enough."

"They worked up in the last level. They are still burning, aren't they?" Thorin stare was stolid.

Balin nodded. "Yes."

"Do you think you got this?" He rolled the maps and handed them at Fili.

The Prince took them proudly and have him a curt nod. "I've got it, don't worry. I will have them all working by midday tomorrow."

"Are you done with Fili? I need you pronto." Gloin said with an inscrutable expression on his face.

"Go on." Thorin fixed his stare on Gloin who pranced almost proudly around the desk and opened up one of the scrolls in front of him.

"Everything is done. I just need your signature here and here." Gloin pointed at the designated areas.

Fili pulled back discreetly, but Thorin's hand kept him still. "Remain, for you shall soon take over some of these tasks." Then he wrote his name in beautiful calligraphy, which should have belonged to the hands of an academic, not the rough hands of a battle-hardened warrior.

"I also need your sigil above the signature." Gloin glanced at Thorin almost happily.

Thorin's lips twisted cheekily, but he overturned the candle that was burning in front of him and then turned his royal ring onto the melted wax. "You seem to love the typicality of it all."

Gloin's smile sparkled under his thick ginger beard. "You cannot even imagine the satisfaction I am getting out of this after a year on the road without any proper signatures. You people were killing me!"

Thorin chuckled, almost delighted at his treasurer's contentment. "When shall you be ready?"

"I hope tomorrow morning first thing." Gloin gathered the scroll with religious care.

"Notify me when it's time." Thorin leaned back and caressed his bearded jawline.

"I shall men Uzbâd!*" Gloin slammed his fist on his chest.

"Thank you." Thorin smiled.

"My bloody pleasure!" Gloin declared and walked proudly out of the room.

"Don't know what you did, but he seems the happiest I've ever seen him." Balin pointed above his shoulder.

Thorin's stare fell on the maiden for a moment before returning to Balin. "He's taken over the treasury and he's got someone to ask signatures out of. That's enough to keep him happy for the next few centuries."

Balin approached and pulled something behind his back. "You cannot imagine how happy I am to see you taking over the place so quickly after getting out of bed."

Thorin's eyes turned black as Balin placed his Raven Crown at the side of the desk. "Where did you find this?" His tone dropped several octaves.

"Bilbo brought it to me." Balin raised his brow.

"I threw it away for a reason." Thorin's blunt stare pierced through Balin.

"It returned for a reason also. Throw it away again if you wish. It's your crown laddie." Balin crossed his arms patiently.

Thorin leaned back and felt a sharp pain coming from his stomach. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "Was there anything else?"

"We've got newcomers and also the diggers have brought down the bodies from the secret entrance. You have requested to check on them." Balin rejoined.

"Newcomers?" Thorin opened his eyes slowly.

Balin nodded. "Indeed. They claim to be families arriving from the Grey Mountains. They say the retreating Orcs have caused chaos at the small scattered Dwarfish villages that were spread thin between Gundabad and Ered Mithrin. They drove whoever was not killed on the spot, away. Most began the dangerous trip to the IronHills, but soon got word that the Longbeards have returned to Erebor. Everyone changed directions and the first ones are already arriving, asking for shelter. We have several families with women and children."

Thorin's eyes glistened angrily. "Orcs are taking revenge, are they?"

"I don't think we've seen anything yet. Roac has send off emissaries to each of the Seven Kingdoms and believe me word about Erebor gets out wherever they come across our kin. That will bring us immigration flows from all over Middle Earth and we are not ready to feed and sustain so many people yet." Balin's voice held a tone of uncertainty.

Thorin nodded broodily. "Very well, show the new families the abandoned abodes at the midland vaults. Let them choose a home each. Write down their professions and put whoever is not wounded to work immediately. Even the women. We need working hands for everything."

Balin bowed. "Very well laddie" -before leaving he looked over at Eilin who was standing frozen with her head bowed low. "Nice outfit young lady and a lovely hair-do."

"Thank you, Lord Balin." She whispered.

Balin smiled at Thorin and closed the door behind him.

Fili pursed his lips. "Are you going to do anything about the Orcs of Ered Mithrin?"

Thorin's eyes thinned upon his nephew. "Patience son."

Then his heavy stare lingered on Eilin. She was wearing a pair of matching breaches and vest along with an unused pair of boots. A thin belt was around her waist and his discreet sigil was on her lapels. His eyebrow rose critically at the four elaborate braids she had managed on her very long hair, offering him the first clear view of her now clean face. "Did you light up the fire?" His calm voice made her look up at him.

"Yes, my King."

"And you cleaned the plates?" His eyebrow rose an inch more.

"Yes, my King."

"Did you bring this milk up?" He pointed at the untouched expensive looking cup.

"Yes, my King."

"You did all this while I was asleep?" He scrutinised her deeply.

"Yes…." Her eyes were stuck on her boots.

He raised his hand derisively. "…my King. You can answer without using that addition to each sentence or you will surely drive me mad."

She bit her bottom lip nervously. "Forgive me…"

After a restless silence that made her jitter under her new braids, his appreciative voice send a shudder down her spine. "Good job." She felt her body deflating at his recognition.

Fili looked up from his maps. "You are scaring the poor girl to bits" -he noticed and then turned to her- "By the way I wish to thank you for taking such good care of my mother, Eilin."

"It was my honour, Sir." She curtsied respectfully.

Fili turned to Thorin. "Tell me how in the name of Vala Aulë did you manage to tear this girl away from my mother?"

"In case you haven't noticed I can barely do my own belt in. I need help and I asked for it. That is what you have all been suggesting, wasn't it?" Thorin pursed his lips testily. His left hand flexed under the desk and his nose flared when he felt its weakness. Did he want to reveal to his nephew that his sword hand felt useless now? Or that he was suffering from mind bending nightmares almost every time he slept?

Fili looked at him disheartened. "I am sorry uncle, I meant this comment light heartedly."

Thorin's gaze hardened up. "I know son. Now go take care of the furnaces. With all these people coming in we need to warm this place up."

Fili nodded and with a sharp bow he left behind a very bleak Thorin whose eyes were burning grimly the top of Eilin's head for what felt like forever. Finally deciding that sitting there, musing on the long complicated braids of this girl was not going to help him in any manner he drank some milk and then pushed himself up. The moment he stretched, his stomach screamed in pain and he grabbed the back of his chair for support without noticing that she instantly dashed to him with extended arms.

"That's you thinking that you can hold me up I suppose?" His voice was sullen.

She shook her head not knowing what to tell him. She just wanted to help and he sure looked like he needed her help at that moment.

He pressed his lips and straightened his body again. "Bring me my vest."

She rounded his chair and picked it up. Then she lifted it for him. He wore it wordlessly, but as she came in front of him to do his belt buckle his austere eyes made her draw back. "I can handle." He sounded dismissive.

She lowered her head and swallowed a rather dry throat.

He leaned his body at the edge of his desk thus enabling himself to buckle up.

After a few silent moments he spoke again. "Who in the name of heaven told you to make so many braids?" He looked at her fleetingly a with dismissive frown.

Eilin's cheeks instantly glowed red and she run her fingers above her braids. "Lord Balin. Did I mess it up, Sir?"

Thorin pursed his lips. "I am not the one to give hair advice, but braids in my opinion are just a waste of effort."

If Eilin could have been able to take them all out right at that moment she would have done so. As it was she just stippled her fingers in front of her apron and curtsied silently.

"Fili is right, you do look scared out of your mind." Thorin said, but his lips turned up in a half smile that she didn't get to see.

She looked up sharply and shook her head quickly. "No sir, of course not! I am just not used to serving royalty."

Thorin's gaze escaped to the crown that was sitting at the edge of his grandfather's desk. He looked at it and then at the whole office. Not only did he have a problem identifying that cursed crown as his own now, but also this office as well. "Did I act inappropriately in my sleep again?" He asked suddenly.

She knew instantly that he was talking about his usual nightmares. "No Sir." She didn't sound certain though and he picked it up easily.

"You don't sound convincing."

She hesitated for several moments. "You did struggle slightly and I took care not to approach you as you have requested." She whispered.

"You did well. Did I say any names?" He raised his brow.

"None I was able to discern." She frowned.

He nodded feeling partly relieved. "You don't have to look or act so scared as this is all temporary. You will remain for a couple of days in my service and then you shall return to my sister's. I won't require much from you as I have been used to living without any servitude for over a century. The only thing I want is for you to keep silent about my nightmares."

"I shall never speak of them to anyone." She wanted to sound as honest as she felt.

"That's all I need." He whispered and without any more words he walked to the door. She followed from a respectful distance and tried to stop her heart from galloping outside her chest.

Four days...

Alright and how was she supposed to serve him for four days, when she felt so nervous when they were alone? She knew her nervousness didn't derive from the fact that he was a man. She had worked around men for years both in the tavern and in the Iron Hills. Maybe it was his stature, his name, his legacy or the fact that he was one of the bloody legends of the Lonely Mountain. He was the son of all those Dwarfish forefathers that had written history for their kin in golden letters. She used to think that Thorin Oakenshield was an ancient King with long white hair and a long beard down to his knees, benevolent eyes of immense wisdom and a voice that would derive from the rocks of Erebor. That is the face that she used to paint back in the tavern at least when she heard stories about him.

Instead she fell bug eyed across ….him….who was neither old, nor white, nor full of benevolence. He had eyes of fire and an imposing presence that scared her to bits. She didn't know if he had immense wisdom and she was certain she would never find out. Maybe the only thing she had gotten right about this legend was his voice. She was so immersed in her thoughts about him, that she almost bumped into him when he stopped at the gates abruptly.

Dwalin lifted Orcrist and presented it to Thorin. "It was long due for you to have it back." He smiled proudly.

Thorin peered over at it. "Did you find it at Ravenhill?"

Dwalin shoved it in the King's hands. "Drew it out of the chest of that white beast with great pleasure."

Thorin shuddered and lifted it with his right hand, but it felt so wrong. So wrong that he wanted to throw it to the ground. His dominant hand twitched needfully and then wrapped around his stomach one more time, trying to hide from that sword whose perfect blade was glistening under the pale sun. He couldn't even lift his sword with his good hand, never mind wielding it properly.

"Don't you want to try it out?" Dwalin frowned wanting to see an expression of pleasure in his friend's face.

"Not now Dwalin..." -Thorin nodded with his head towards the long caravan of families who were passing through the gates. Balin was showing them where to go- "Many more than I had originally thought." He said and a shadow fell on his brow.

"Balin told you about Ered Mithrin?" Dwalin crossed his arms above his war axe.

Thorin nodded. "An act of revenge."

"We can chase after those boneless Orcs. What do you think?" Dwalin turned to him.

Thorin shook his head sternly. "No, we have to regroup. We have too many casualties. We cannot organise another attack with only a skeleton army that's half wounded."

 _I cannot even lift my sword, never mind cut down Orcs with it_  - he thought and he winced painfully. His left arm tightened around his body protectively.

Dwalin noticed. "Are you in pain?"

"I am never free of pain." Thorin pursed his lips.

"Where is your cane?" Dwalin looked around.

Thorin's eyes gave off a angry glint. "It's forgotten somewhere. Let it be."

Dwalin opened his mouth to speak, but one of the men from the progression escaped the line and run up to them. His wife and two kids followed close behind looking terrified, "King Oakenshield! You are Thorin Oakenshield! I know you, my Lord." He kneeled heavily.

Thorin winced. "Don't kneel, get up."

The Dwarf stood up and looked above his shoulder at the worried faces of his family. "They slaughtered everyone along the foot of the mountain. They came with vengeance crying out your name and they killed with no exceptions. We ran as fast as we could, carrying our wounded and abandoning our dead behind. Thank you for taking me and my family in. Bless your father and your grandfather. I've lived under their rule here in Erebor for years before the dragon took over our Kingdom. I was so young back then, but so were you. Thank you for reclaiming our land and helping us out in our time of need." The Dwarf grabbed Thorin's hand and kissed it with a reverence that made him shudder. This was not why he was here. He was not his grandfather Thror who enjoyed people kissing his hand.

He withdrew it and forced himself to forget the pain in his stomach and use both hands to steady the man. "Take your family inside and let Balin show you to an abode. Be aware that there is little food or heat, but we are trying our best with the few resources that we have."

"I can help you! I am a water-works master! My name is Alfar, this is my son Alfvari, my wife Jódís and our wee girl Jóhild. My son was learning the sword-smith trade back at our village. We can help you. Ask anything from me!" Alfar smiled widely. His eager eyes betrayed the terror he had felt until he could bring his family back into safety.

"I can hunt for you! I know how to kill wild boar!" The young Alfvari declared proudly.

Thorin smiled at him. "I am sure you can son. Tell Balin and he shall put you amongst the rest of the hunters. Until we manage to organise things better it will be good if each family caught its own food."

Alfar nodded and clasped his crying wife's hand. He kissed it tenderly. "Did you hear that dear? We will be safe now. We are safe!"

She gave her husband a soft nod and such a relieved, but sad smile, that Thorin felt his heart twitching. The little girl held her mother's hand tightly and she was munching on the leather string of her coat. She was looking bug eyed at the Dwarf who was way too tall for his kin, talking to her parents with such warmth that slowly her fear began backing away. The giant's eyes fell on her then and she instantly giggled as saliva run down her chin and on the collar of her threadbare coat.

Thorin felt his lips upturning slightly. "Jóhild is your name?"

The girl saw the dim winter sun hiding behind the giant's flowing hair and she nodded mesmerised.

The giant kneeled down in front of her. "What can you do to help us then?"

"I can sing…" She said and munched on the string again.

Thorin's smile reached the goose trails of his eyes. "Will you sing for me?"

"Yeah sure!" She said and began singing a lullaby that her mother used to tell her. It spoke of ghouls and beast slayers, but she was too young to understand the words. When she finished she offered him an honest wide smile and reached out to touch the giant's hair.

Thorin didn't pull away from her small hands. "You sing beautifully."

"Thanks mister!" She said and her fingers tunnelled through his mane searching and searching for anything she could get.

He raised his brow. "Did you find anything important buried in there?"

Her fingers tightened around a hair bead and she drew it off of him. "I found this! Can I have it?" She asked innocently.

Thorin looked at it long and hard before tilting his head. "It's too big for your hair."

She pouted her lip sadly. "Is it?"

He pointed at his bead. "It matters not. Keep it and wear it when your hair grows longer, okay?"

Her eyes looked at him adoringly and she beamed a toothless smile to him. "Thanks mister!" She giggled and looked at her mother whose eyes were streaming with tears. Why was her mother so sad, she couldn't understand. This giant seemed like a nice person. Okay, maybe a little scary, but nice.

Thorin stood up with great effort and Dwalin had to steady him.

"We heard you have been gravely wounded my King." Alfar asked showing his honest concern.

"I am slowly recovering. Now please follow Balin." Thorin gave him a fleeting smile and nodded at Balin who led them inside. They passed him by with many looks of gratefulness, but Thorin was reserving his sweetest smile along with a wink for the little girl who giggled and ran to hide her face in her mother's garments. During all this interaction Thorin had totally missed the burning looks that Eilin was giving him.

"Is that them?" He asked and approached the carriage that was carrying several skeletons.

The two soldiers who stood in front of it nodded. "We brought down everyone we found at the side entrance."

Thorin felt his throat closing down. "Very well."

"That's them alright." Dwalin rejoined quietly and crossed his arms.

"She will be buried with her cousin in the forest burial grounds." Thorin said and pulled himself up on the carriage.

Dwalin climbed up next to him. "We need masons for that."

"I am a mason, I can help." One of the two soldiers said.

"Climb up." Dwalin ordered him and then turned to Thorin.

His face was inexpressive and cold and remained like that as he led the carriage away from the gates.

* * *

"What's up lassie? Is it your turn to brood after him? Is his mood contagious?" Balin crossed his hands in front of his stomach happily.

She jerked back and gave him an uncomfortable smile. "No, I mean yes...I mean no!" She rubbed her face feeling so out of place.

"Are you having thoughts of following him?" Balin pointed at the departing carriage.

"Yes...isn't that my job? To always serve him?" She winced.

"He's got his bodyguard with him, don't worry. Your servitude stops at these gates, you are not obliged to follow him into the wilderness."

She exhaled and rubbed her eyes. "Shall I wait for him here until he returns then?'

"That'd be wise. You look confused and overburdened, but when I left you at your room you seemed happy and rather decisive. What caused this shift in you?' Balin frowned.

She felt her cheeks mounting with colour. "The King disconcerts me Lord Balin, but I can't be the only one."

Balin humphed. "No you are not, don't worry. He does that to everyone. Just keep your cool and continue what you are doing. You can't mess up that way."

She smiled, partially relieved that she was not the only one quivering in her boots whenever the King was near. "Do you want me to help you with the new families, whilst I wait?"

Balin smiled widely. "Oh, thank you lassie! Sit in that damned chair that's been breaking my back since noon and write down the names of the families and their professions. Do you know how to write?" He asked in afterthought.

She sat down and tried to shake away the heaviness of her last thoughts. "I do, don't worry Lord Balin."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: * My King


	13. *Hear my voice, sing with the tide

"Wanna have a cup of ale?" The aforementioned cup landed in front of her and spilled over her scrolls.

She frowned and tried to wipe them off, but when her eyes fell on Bofur her expression quickly mellowed. "Lord Bofur I was about to tell you off. These are Lord Balin's papers and I don't want them messed up."

Bofur raised his brow cockily. "First of all I am not a Lord. Try only the name."

She blushed and cast her eyes to the names she had been writing diligently all afternoon. "Okay Bofur".

"Sounds better to you?" He gave her a side smile.

She smiled timidly. "Yes"

"Good. Now you want some ale?" He pointed at the forgotten cup.

She looked at the sky which was slowly growing darker. "I think I do." She offered him a fleeting smile.

Bofur leaned above her shoulder. "Who taught you to write Khuzdul so well?"

"The family that helped me reach the Iron Hills". She said quietly.

"That's a story I would love to hear from you one day." He pointed his finger playfully at her.

She smiled widely. "Of course."

"Over another drink, maybe tomorrow or the next day?" He raised his brows.

She frowned in confusion, but it was Balin's voice who spoke her thoughts outright. "Are you hitting on the young lady, Bofur?"

The clever Dwarf puffed up. "What if I did then? Is there a problem?"

Balin smirked knowingly. "Not with me there isn't, but you should tell her clearly that you are asking her out on a date. She won't understand your subtle proposition."

She felt the redness of her cheeks extending to her extremities and lowered her head feeling embarrassed to death.

Bofur approached her and bumped his shoulder on her playfully. "I am asking you out on a date. Are you up for it?"

She opened her mouth to answer, but nothing came out. She looked at him, shocked into silence.

"No, no, no, don't look at me like that. It's just a drink to get to know each other. I am not going to ask for a flower crown yet." He winked at her.

She cupped her cheeks feeling like she was going to pass out. A flower crown was given to the man by the Dwarrowdam when she had decided that he was going to be her partner for life. She never thought that she'd be in such a position ever in her life and she still doubted that something like that would ever happen to her in the future either. "Uhm…" She stammered.

"And I won't offer you any hair beads or rings..." Bofur snickered.

"You don't have any rings!" Balin teased.

Yes of course, she hadn't forgotten that the man in turn offered a hair piece or a ring as a token of his love and attentions towards a Dwarrowdam. "Oh hell…" She whispered.

"We are actually making a big deal out of this just because Lord Grumpy here made these silly insinuations and now the poor woman is freaking out!" Bofur eyed Balin somewhat annoyed when he saw that Eilin was taking this heavier than originally intended.

Balin raised his hand as he was escorting one of the last families inside. "You, young man had always been the most flirtatious in our company! I am just helping out this young lady to learn what to watch out for as she is new to Erebor and our inner dealings."

"Always meddling in my business you are. Nevertheless I am just joking about everything else apart from the drink. I didn't intend to make you feel cornered, I was just teasing Balin here through you, but the offer for company still stands. Bombur and Bifur will probably join us so you are quite safe!" Bofur smiled widely at her and crossed his arms proudly.

Eilin's eyes brightened. "I would be honoured, yes, of course!"

Bofur pointed at her. "Perfect! Shall I pick you up tomorrow at say, noon?"

She threw her eyes down thoughtfully. "I will be free whichever time I am not needed by the King." She suddenly felt flustered when she remembered that she was not as free as her conversation with Bofur had made her feel at first.

Bofur frowned. "You are in Thorin's service? Since when?"

"Since this morning." Balin said and walked over to them.

Bofur's eyes fell on the discreet sigil on the lapels of her tunic and he raised his brow. "Bullocks then. This makes our chances of meeting rather bleak."

She hurried to speak. "The King said he was not going to be needing much of me anyway."

Bofur smiled knowingly. "Now you sound eager and I like that. I'll be expecting you to arrange the time that suits you, alright?"

"Alright." She nodded quickly. She didn't know why but the prospect of having a meeting with Bofur elated her heart beyond recognition. She was not used to been treated with such respect or being seen as a person of any kind of interest and his words had been quite the boost on her almost destroyed self confidence.

"Did Thorin tell you he won't be needing you?" Balin frowned.

"Yes, he said he was used to living without servants for over a century." She met Balin's gaze.

"Yet, he needs assistance now young lady. I heed you warning. Don't listen to what he says and keep your eyes open for him. He is not well." Balin's eyes turned gloomy.

Bofur cringed. "That wound almost killed him, but he is a proud man. He won't ask for help easily. Balin is right."

Eilin's heart warmed up by the way both men were showing their care for their King. "I understand. I am always keeping an eye on him, don't worry Lord Balin." She rejoined solemnly.

"When you feel that Thorin is safe enough to be left alone, then you can go find master charming here and have your drinks, alight?" Balin smiled slyly at both.

She felt her cheeks mounting with colour again and looked down. "Yes my Lord."

Bofur intervened brashly. "Enough you troll's snot! You are making her feel uncomfortable again!"

"It's alright Bofur. I will just need time to get used to all this attention." She tried to explain.

"I am sure as time passes by you will get used to much more attention than this one." -His eyes feasted hungrily on her beautiful alabaster skin- "It will inevitably happen and soon I am sure I will have to worry about competition."

Eilin blushed. Balin humphed and began gathering the scrolls.

Bofur smiled at her slyly. "Now have a sip of this mead and you shall feel better soon enough! Lord Grumpy has tired you more than Thorin will ever be able to manage." Bofur offered her the cup again.

She took two sips and felt her throat burning up. She hadn't had a drink since she left that hellish tavern and this ale wasn't easy on her. "Oh, that's rough…" She mumbled.

Bofur winked at her. "Mead from Erebor's vaults, molten for over a century."

Balin chuckled. "The sugar in it will kick her right in the head! You should have chosen something lighter."

"As if we have anything left. Thorin drunk my last two bottles. Wanna take a ride to Thranduil's and get a couple of wine bottles? That's also fine by me." Bofur's shoulders raised indifferently.

Eilin flicked her shoulders and emptied the cup not really listening to the two men speaking.

"When did Thorin drink so much alcohol and why didn't anybody inform me?" Balin frowned vexed.

Bofur looked at Eilin briefly, understanding that he made a folly. "I don't...know".

Balin turned to her also. "Is this why he was so pissy that morning? He was having a hangover lassie?"

"I am sorry Lord Balin. I was asked not to say anything." She tittered.

"I messed up, I am sorry Eilin." Bofur looked at her.

Balin raised his hands. "He knew too?"

Eilin cringed and nibbled her upper lip.

Balin scratched his beard and scrutinised both her and Bofur irritated for several moments before speaking again. "Who asked you to stay silent?"

"The King himself." She raised her eyes at him.

Balin sighed and caressed his cheek. "If Thorin asked you to keep this a secret then you did your job well, but you must both understand that in his condition drinking alcohol cannot be good."

Both her and Bofur nodded under that gentle reprimand.

Balin raised his brow sternly. "The same goes out for you too young lady. You shouldn't be drinking this so quickly."

Eilin's lips turned down and she placed the cup on the table. After a short moment of contemplation she pushed it further away with her finger just for good measure.

Bofur laughed loudly then. "Enough Balin! Leave the poor girl alone. Now who's with me? Sing like Elves…"

Balin took over with a small smile. "Smoke like wizards…"

"Party like Hobbits…" Bofur rejoined and they both turned to her.

"…And drink like Dwarves." She smiled brightly.

Everyone laughed and she joined in before giving the mead another test as it seemed to be the best alcohol she had tasted for a long time.

When their spirits had settled back down Bofur looked around. "Where is Thorin by the way? Resting?"

Before Balin was given a chance to answer the booming voice of Dain intervened. "That's a question I want to know also. Where is he?"

"With Dwalin in the forest burial grounds. What is it Dain?" Balin stepped forth and took over according to lineage and stature.

Dain pointed behind him where several people were walking up to the gates slowly. "I wanted to introduce him to my brother's family. They have just arrived from the Iron Hills along with all their escort."

Eilin paled and shoved the cup into Bofur's hands silently. He looked at her confused, but she shook her head discreetly hoping that he wouldn't try to wise up in front of these haughty ladies.

"I'll have to do for now Dain." -Balin said and then turned to the ladies and bowed respectfully- "Noble daughters of the noble family of Fain, welcome."

Bofur raised his brow and took a sip from his drink, apparently disinterested in the newcomers, but that wasn't the case with Eilin who had become white as a ghost.

Dain brought the girls in front of him. "This are Valdís and Kárunn. Lord Fain's daughters and this is Balin older son of Fundin, advisor to the King and close friend and cousin of the Longbeards."

"My Lord." Both girls curtsied.

"It is an honour to have you here and I am sorry the King is currently unavailable to meet with you." Balin smiled.

"It is our honour to be amongst you. We are here to salute the return of the King under the Mountain on behalf of my father and of the Iron Hills." Valdís lifted her long coat slightly and bend the knee once.

"Thank you my lady. I shall lead you to him the moment he is available. For now allow me to escort you inside." Balin raised his hand elegantly, offering them the lead.

"We are going to be so grateful to have some proper rest after three days of rough travelling and sleeping in the wild. Also our ponies need to be taken care of" -Valdís looked above her shoulder at their escort- "and our soldiers would appreciate some food. You must know there are many Orcs scouring the mountain ranges beyond the Lonely Mountain my Lord."

"We are aware, my Lady. Everyone in your company shall be taken care off, you need not worry." Balin reassured her.

"I feel the need to inquire about my Lady Dis. The ravens informed us that she arrived safely?" Valdîs raised her brows.

"Indeed she has. I will inform her of your presence as soon as I show you to your rooms." Balin bowed his head respectfully.

"The ravens also informed us that the King has escaped death and he is well into recovery?" Valdís brow wrinkled.

Balin was unable to stop himself from grinning in pleasure. "Yes, he is well enough to take command my Lady. We are deeply thankful to Vala Aulë for this blessing."

Valdís and Kárunn both curtsied. "Deeply thankful we are." They rejoined in unison.

"Let me lead you to your quarters ladies. You need to refresh." Balin said kindly.

Eilin tried to hide behind Bofur, but Kárunn's sharp eyes fixed on her. She lowered her head and tried to avoid any kind of contact. Her heart was beating out of control as she hoped that this lofty, loud-mouthed woman wouldn't say anything about her in front of her new friends, especially in front of Bofur. She felt Kárunn's insisted glare on the top of her head for several moments and then it was gone. When she chanced a look up Fain's daughters were far enough for her to take a deep breath of relief.

"That was absolutely terrifying for you wasn't it?" Bofur whispered and Nori approached them slowly.

She nodded quickly. "It was."

"Why? They seemed polite enough." Bofur frowned at the direction the Iron Hills delegation had taken.

"They might seem polite to a Dwarf-Lord, but they won't be to a lowly servant who up till recently was sleeping amongst the horses in the stables." She winced and averted her eyes.

"Ah…now I get it. You've been having a hard time with them two?" Bofur raised his brow.

A bitter smiled cracked on her lips. "Only with the older one. The younger, the one who spoke is not so bad."

"Don't worry girl, no one is going to harm you while I am around." Bofur crossed his arms and looked at the corridor with an irritated look.

Eilin looked thankfully at Bofur. "Thank you for…you know…everything."

Bofur touched her forearm kindly. "My pleasure. Now come on let's take the company's ponies to the stables."

Eilin smiled and then nodded eagerly.

* * *

It was way into the night and everyone was asleep apart from the guards who were changing shifts when Thorin returned back to Erebor. He looked up at the towering statues that stood at the flanks of the gates. The enormous fires of Erebor were once again lit and despite his exhaustion a strong satisfied shudder cascaded down his spine.

Dwalin alighted and looked at Thorin. "I'll go find your maiden and ask her to sort out some fresh clothes for you. Are you off to the hot springs?"

Thorin nodded absently and tried to straighten his aching back, something that ended up with another painful wave that tore him apart. He couldn't expect anything less than serious trouble from his wound tonight. He had managed to mangle himself quite thoroughly at the forest burial grounds and now he was going to pay the price for it, but he regretted nothing of what he did back there.

"I'll wake up Oin and we'll come join you!" Dwalin warned him and marched inside quite decisive as to his actions.

"Fine..." Thorin whispered and pressed his lips. He felt the snow flakes cooling his burning brow. The mason who helped them with the burial walked over to him. "Do you need help, men Ûzbad?"

Thorin shook his head dismissively. "No, I am fine. Go and rest. You've earned it."

The soldier bowed, but he looked rather reluctant to leave his King. Thorin got off the horse with great difficulty and used the saddle to hold himself up. He leaned his head on it and closed his eyes as he tried to regulate his pained breathing. He was dirty from head to foot and also bloody once again. This time he didn't think that he had broken any stitches, but his wound had bled from all the pressure he put on it.

When they reached the burial grounds, he allowed Dwalin and the mason to unload the bodies of Siv's relatives and walked all around the grounds searching for her grave. After almost one hundred years the place was unrecognisable as all the natural landmarks he had placed were now gone. It took him a long of time and a lot of effort to find what he was looking for under the piles of dead vines and hard roots that had covered it.

Then it was time to clean it up and he didn't remain a silent bystander as the other two men did all the dirty work. Feeling bitterly angry at seeing her resting place in such ruins he drew his left arm away from his stomach and decided to make some use of it. He grabbed the axe, but the first try to lift it up and bring it down upon the roots ended up with him doubling down in pain. If it wasn't for the wave of pity that came from Dwalin and the mason, he would have probably given up on the first try. He pushed Dwalin away angrily and reloaded his hands with the axe this time managing a very good strike. He gritted his teeth and pushing back all the mind numbing pain that razored through him each time he delivered a stroke he took his turn amidst his comrades. Keeping his mouth religiously shut and swallowing every groan that was coming up like vomit he finally managed to clear the ancient tentacles of nature and reveal the elaborately carved stone tomb of the last Blacklocks of Erebor.

He froze in time, looking at it like a statue, feeling beads of sweat running down his back...

...Or was it blood?...

...It was the cold sound of stone breaking apart that shook him out of his bleak trance. He gave Dwalin another inconsiderate push and grabbed the crowbar himself. He didn't expect himself strong enough to lift it up and deliver such a strong blow at the sealed seam of the tomb to get it buried almost half way through. This time though he was unable to stop a loud groan of anguish that echoed through the woods. His left hand pulled away from the crow bar and wrapped around his stomach in a desperate need to numb down the torture. Dwalin tried to steady him, but Thorin shook his head almost furiously and then returned upon that tomb with a vengeance. He grabbed the crow bar once more and tried to push it down, but nothing moved until Dwalin and the mason joined in. Soon enough they managed to unseal the cover, which fell to the side releasing a gust of trapped dusty air.

To give his ill state some credit for the effort it was not just him, but all three by the end of that attempt were dirty, sweaty and panting. It was just that Thorin was in the worst condition of them all. He asked Dwalin to place the bodies carefully inside and remove their gold, silver and gems. The mason was already getting his tools ready to reseal the tomb after they finished. As for Thorin, he just stood there, mute and immovable, resembling the statues of his forefathers in the Hall of the Kings. Looking at the bottomless tomb and seeing nothing but bits of colourless fabric and dirt. The earth had taken her into its bowls...or maybe the stones themselves had engulfed her. He removed the ring he had carved for her and looked at it long and hard before throwing it in. He didn't even look where it landed. He forged it for her, he wore it for her, it belonged to her and now that he was home, he brought it to her.

When Dwalin placed the bodies in, Thorin backed up and sat heavily on a stone feeling his body at the end of its tether. It took his friend several attempts to arrange the fresh skeletons respectfully next to the older ones, so as not to overlap each other. Then Dwalin asked the mason for help and they both pulled the heavy slab above the tomb once more. Thorin this time didn't wish to help. Maybe because they were again sealing her inside and he didn't want to be a part of that. When Dwalin asked him quietly if they were going to preform the proper rituals, Thorin nodded and stood up.

As the mason began sealing up the tomb with his tools, Thorin stood with his hands crossed and his head bowed low. He spoke the burial words in Khuzdul and send off the dead with many blessings from his forefathers and himself. Then the lament began. It was low, deep and vibrating with that beautiful melodious voice of his. So mesmerising was it that even the mason stopped in order to partake in the ritual. His somber singing, at times accompanied by Dwalin, took them way into the night. When he withdrew and sat on the stone again, he was feeling drained inside out. It was Dwalin who pointed out at the red spots that had saturated his tunic. Thorin drew his vest apart and they all saw his bloody bandage. That is when Dwalin's face paled and he commanded the mason to hurry up in order to return back home.

Now Thorin was limping heavily towards the royal hot springs. He didn't truly want to take a bath, but his skin was crawling with the touch of the dead and he wanted that eerie feeling to slide off of him. He wanted to shed this day away and with it maybe his nightmares also. He didn't want to go to sleep tonight as he was certain his adventure in the burial grounds was most certainly going to wake up another dream about Siv. Even though his eyes were stinging and shutting down on their own volition, he wanted to resist against the inevitable need to rest. He managed the long walk to the beautifully carved dome with the golden plated floors and the golden gilded dome. He didn't notice that his limb although heavy still looked slightly better than this morning. It didn't even cross his mind that he didn't need the assistance of Dwalin or his cane in order to walk down all those steps and those snaky corridors in order to reach his small paradise. His mind was too exhausted to notice such unimportant details.

When he opened the doors he stopped and gazed dumbfounded at the place were he had passed so many days of his youth. When he was happy and carefree of the troubles of the elder world...when during one of those visits he had pushed Frerin into the large lake, laughing uncontrollably at his brother's angry face. When Dis had barely managed to splash him one time before he took her in his arms and threw her in after Frerin.

A ghostly smile adorned his pale face as he remembered...

_..._

_"Why did you do that Thorin! I am going to tell dad!" Dis screamed and her eyes streamed with tears of frustration._

_"Why did you get in the middle of all this! I told you to go back to mom!" He hurled back at her._

_"Because I want to play with you and Frerin, but you never play! You always hit each other and then you are hitting me!" She spat angrily and then kicked the waters as if it was their fault that now she was dripping from head to foot._

_His brow wrinkled in irritation. "That's how men play Dis! If you don't like it you go play with your dolls."_

_"I don't want to play with my dolls I want to play with you!" Dis cried straight on his face._

_"Shut up you little whiny troll…" Frerin grumbled and splashed more water on her._

_"I was trying to help you, idiot!" She kicked him at the shin and Frerin howled in pain._

_"I am going to get you, you just see if I don't!" Frerin snapped._

_Dis screeched and dashed out of the water._

_"Thorin help me!" She fell in his arms._

_He rolled his eyes. "You are really not learning do you?"_

_"What?" She frowned confused._

_He picked her up easily and got ready to empty her in the lake again when Thrain came in and caught them red-handed. "What in the name of Mahal is going on here?!" He thundered._

_Instead of putting Dis down, Thorin hurled her into the lake in front of his formidable father who cried out. "Thorin what the hell are you doing!?"_

_Dis began screaming again and hitting the water with her fists. "He keeps throwing me in! Tell him to stop dad!"_

_"Shut up you snitch!" Frerin splashed her again._

_Thrain placed his huge hands on his waist and looked critically at his oldest son, whose cool had not been shaken in the least. "Want to tell me how you ended up making your sister turn blue from crying again?"_

_"She cannot handle a bit of fun. That's not my fault." Thorin flicked his shoulders with a self content smile._

_Thrain raised his brow at his son and looked at his daughter. "Come out of the water petal, let me have a hug." -Dis stomped out of the lake and got buried in his arms. He lifted her up and her legs wrapped around his waist. She clang onto him like no tomorrow and buried her sniffling head on his chest. Thrain turned to Thorin again- "Do you see her having any fun?"_

_Thorin sighed. "No"_

_"Do you like seeing her cry her face purple?" Thrain continued and his huge palm caressed her small back._

_"Blue or purple dad?" Thorin crossed his arms provocatively._

_Thrain inhaled deeply, forcing himself to be patient against his oldest son's imprudence. "Don't act like a wise ass with me or you'll get a good thrashing and your mother won't be here to help you, bless her soul. You are becoming impertinent and I don't know were I've gone wrong to see you acting in this manner towards your little sister!"_

_Thorin raised his brow and pursed his lips silently._

_"What is this for Mahal's sake? Teenage hormones?"_

_Frerin snickered from the lake and Thrain turned his attention at his younger son. "What are you laughing about? I didn't see you do anything to help Dis!"_

_Frerin swallowed his laughter and his face sobered up. "We didn't do anything more than what we do to each other." He tried to explain._

_"She is too young to play like that with you! Treat her more gently!" Thrain thundered._

_Thorin threw his arms down and opened up his legs decisively. Feeling his young blood boiling close to explosion he looked his father dead in the eyes. "I picked her up and twice threw her into the lake. I didn't hit her, push her, mistreated her or gave her any bruises! If she cannot handle me overpowering her just for the sake of fun, then she should remain in her room with her dolls. Why are you coming down on me like that for? I was playing with Frerin and she came in the middle! You are taking her side just because she is crying like a banshee! Actually you are always taking her side and I am sick of it!"_

_Thrain's eyes flashed thunders. "That's it young man! You are grounded for a week down at the forging stations! You shall forge four perfect swords within that timeline or you are not going to come back up to your rooms!"_

_Thorin exhaled roughly through his nose and his eyes flashed with barely contained anger. "Very-well!"_

_Frerin got out of the lake with slouched shoulders. "Dad, Thorin is right. This time it was her fault for coming in the middle of our game. You are punishing him for nothing!"_

_Dis looked up from her dad's shoulder and when Thorin's eyes fell on her she buried her head into Thrain's fur collar again and sniffled. "She's afraid of you!" -He snapped at Thorin- "do you like her being afraid of you?"_

_"She has to learn how to handle fear as much as we do! Isn't that what you are always saying?" Thorin's jawline flexed._

_Thrain's eyes thinned on his older son, but he remained silent._

_That gave courage to Thorin who continued even harder. "I don't care about your punishments, but is it too difficult for you to take my side for once? Especially when I am not in the wrong?" That question came out of nowhere and it fell hard on his father whose face opened up in sudden realisation that he may have hurt his son._

_"Wait a moment." He tried more quietly and his brow clouded._

_"I am off to the forging stations!" Thorin threw above his shoulder and walked to the golden plated door._

_That is where the heavy hand of Thrain found him and turned him around. "Son, wait a moment please."_

_Thorin squared his shoulders proudly at his formidable father, something that Thrain always secretly admired. "You make me feel like I've been unfair to you."_

_"You are always taking her side. Even at times when I have done nothing to her. Only because she is crying loud enough to stir you up. I'm never crying so there is never a need to back me up, is there?" Thorin rebuked._

_Frerin came and stood by him._

_Thrain frowned. "I don't expect you to cry in front of me to stir my emotions, but I would never condemn you if you did so. When you were younger, before she and Frerin were born, you were crying when you felt injustice like every child does and I comforted you in the same manner. You are older now Thorin and you seem not in need of this kind of comfort…"_

_Thorin threw his gaze down for the first time since facing his father._

_"It's part of becoming a man I suppose. You and Frerin both... your bodies are changing, you are going through many shifts. Hell, you are almost sixteen years old. In a couple of years you will have acquired your final physical form. The one that will take you to old age through the centuries and isn't that final form of yours impressive already? You are almost as tall as me son. I was never short to boot and you are going to grow even taller by the looks of it. I admire you so much and I love you beyond life. You and Frerin. You have to understand that now you are becoming stronger and more self sufficient, but with that comes the need to control that monumental strength of yours. Your training proves that you are going to be a formidable warrior and so is your brother!" Thrain looked proudly at the slightly shorter Frerin._

_Thorin crossed his arms and kept his eyes to the floor._

_"You are to be the next King of Erebor after your grandfather and me. That dictates that you must have brains, physical strength, but also diplomacy and empathy. Above all empathy for your people and what better way to learn empathy than by practicing on your little sister. She looks up to you…" -he pulled her away from his collar and she sniffled and wiped away her red eyes- "…she is still a little more than a baby and she loves you boys to death. You are her protectors and her moral compass. Play rough with the ones who can handle your roughness. Would it be a lot of trouble to lay down your ever growing manhoods and act gentle around her for a while? She doesn't want to play with her dolls, but with her brothers. Is that a crime?"_

_Thorin shook his head quietly. "No"_

_Frerin mimicked him quickly. "No"_

_Thrain smiled kindly and caressed Dis' hair. "Then stop chasing her in Dale until you make her scream, stop throwing her into the lake and stop breaking her toys. Try to just play with her rules for a little while and then ask her if she wants to play by yours. Now if she agrees, you throw her into the lake and then she starts screaming, Thorin my boy, I will take your side."_

_Thorin's lit up in a hesitant smile. "Okay father."_

_"You Frerin my son?"_

_"Okay dad." Frerin smirked._

_Thrain placed Dis down and clasped his hands around his son's shoulders. "I love all of you equally, but your ages make me have different demands out of each one. Now Thorin if you feel that I am most demanding of you, then son you are right. I am, because you are to be the next King. Is that understood?"_

_Thorin shook his head. "Yes father."_

_Thrain smiled at them and turned to Dis. "You coming with me doll or are you staying with your brothers?"_

_"I wanna stay with them." She sniffled and wiped away her nose._

_Thrain's fingers tightened again upon their shoulders. "You gonna throw her in again?"_

_"No, father." They rejoined in unison._

_"Very well, don't let me hear any more crying, okay? I have important work to do with grandfather... and Thorin your punishment still stands and starts tomorrow morning."_

_They all nodded and soon they were alone again, with the two sentinels standing silently at the flanks of the doors. Thorin sighed and looked at his sniffling sister for a silent moment before rolling his eyes. "I am sorry for throwing you in the lake, alright?" He said exasperated._

_She nodded and tears mingled with mucus cascaded down to her chin._

_"That's disgusting Dis, for Mahal's sake." Frerin made a grimace._

_Thorin clasped her hand and led her to the lake. Then he prompted her to kneel down next to him. "Lean over so I can clean you up."_

_She did and he began cleaning her face and her nose with his hand. "Is that better?"_

_Dis was absolutely shivering. "Yeah, but I am cold."_

_Thorin raised his brow at her. "Then take off your clothes silly and get in the warm waters."_

_She looked at him and giggled. "Okay!"_

_Frerin facepalmed so hard it echoed in the cavern. "I cannot believe that we went through such a berating and then a sermon just for her to get in anyway!"_

_Thorin laughed and took off his vest and tunic in order to get in too. "I know right?"_

_Frerin shook his head in disbelief and and followed them. The rest of that afternoon had been one of the best ones of his life. They remained in the hot springs playing with each other until their mother came to drag them out all pruny, but very happy. That night Dis got out of her bed and borrowed her way in his room and in his bed. She wrapped around herself like a little squirrel next to him and then slept like an angel. After that day he felt very protective towards her and her nightly visits continued until they were much older. She was always sneaking in his bed and sleeping with her back touching his. She ended up feeling more comforted by her older brother and less by her father with time. That was a feeling that followed both of them into adulthood. Frerin ended up having the same protective feelings towards her thusly making their father's expectations come true in the best way possible._

_..._

This feeling she remembered in her times of pain when she fell asleep upright in his arms two nights ago after crying endlessly for the loss of her son...and he remembered it too, only this time it didn't soothe him. Instead he felt tormented by what he had done to her...by what he had done to their family and that even though he was the one who had destroyed them, Dis was still turning to him for comfort.

As he entered the warm waters his wound stung like hell, but he pushed on until he reached one of the small waterfalls and buried himself under it. He let the waters cascade down his voluminous hair and body, washing away the dirt and fatigue of several days after the battle. He was releasing moans of pleasure which were followed by groans of pain, but he hardly heard himself. The burning in his eyes and the tears that got slowly released made him frown in disbelief, still the lump in his throat was too hard to ignore.

He didn't know what he was crying silently about this time. Was it the untimely death of his brother or the torturous ending of his grandfather? Was it the memories of his father loosing his mind slowly and going to his death soon after? Was it maybe the deterioration of his sister's mental health when she lost her husband? Or maybe it was his mother who died of a broken heart when Thorin left to find his lost father. Was it possibly the death of Siv, which tore his soul in two or the death of his beloved nephew? Maybe the combination of them all felt too unbearable to him now that he was home again.

He remained there, silently crying out his trapped emotions, under the waterfall for a long time, trying not to feel angry at himself. Only when his fingertips felt pruned did he reach out for the mineral soaps that were still there after so long. He lathered his abundant hair and soaped his body well and good. Then he settled under the waterfall again waiting for the warm water to cleanse him inside out as his eyes slowly dried.

When Eilin entered the huge, impressive cavern and stopped in front of the lake stupefied, he didn't even hear her. His eyes were shut tight and the water's speed felt like soft whips on his warm skin. Ever so slightly painful, but not enough to make him want to get out.

"Ahem." She cleared her throat and averted her eyes from the King. It was one thing to help the Princess clean him up when he was an invalid and another to peep at his half naked body while he was taking a bath.

He frowned and opened his eyes. He saw her faint outline behind the water curtain and instantly his body straightened up. She was standing there holding his clothes, looking at her shoes shyly. He wiped away his eyes and felt his fingertips way too spongy and her appearance there way too impromptu.

"What are you doing here?" He frowned.

"My King, Lord Dwalin asked me to bring you some fresh clothes." She said quietly.

"Where is he?" Thorin asked and suddenly felt very aware that he was stark naked under these waters and there was a woman right in front of him, waiting for him to get out.

"Master Dain asked for his assistance. He told me to bring you over the clothes. He said he would come find you immediately after he finishes with Lord Dain." She cleared her throat again.

"Oin? Did you notify him?" He moved a couple of steps closer, but kept well under water.

She pressed her lips uneasily. "I tried, but it was impossible to wake him up Sir. It is very late, there is no one awake apart from Lord Dain, Lord Dwalin and you."

He winced and looked around him. Very well and now what? He was alone with this girl as his only possible assistant. In an afterthought he gazed at her quickly. "What about my sister?"

"She's been working on Prince Kili all afternoon. You want me to wake her up?"

"No, no." -He shook his head and his brows creased with uncertainty. Apparently he didn't have any options until Dwalin returned- "Did you perchance remember to bring Oin's concoction for my wound?"

She placed his clothes on a ledge and drew out two bottles, but still she kept looking at her boots. "Both the ointment and your medicine, my Lord."

He pressed his lips and shook his head in relief. "Very well, turn around." He ordered and she quickly went and stood facing the wall with her head bowed low.

The task of drying himself took time and was dearly painful to him, but a mere nothing compared with the difficulty of wearing the lower part of his long jones and pants. When he finished he looked longingly at his undershirt and tunic, but knew that he had to clean his wound and dress it properly. He sat down at one of the carved benches and placed his hands on his knees. "I am done."

She turned around slowly, but kept her eyes religiously to the floor.

"And I need you to look up and help me out with this damned wound. I cannot do it on my own." He frowned angrily at his inability to help himself.

She peeked at him briefly. "As you command Sir."

"Bring over the ointment." He said.

She brought it over, still looking somewhere between his knees and the floor.

He sighed deeply. "I can do the front, but I will need you to apply some of it on my back, if you are able to unglue your eyes from the floor."

"Yes, Sir." She nodded and he frowned when he noticed her teeth worrying her bottom lip nervously.

Oh well, at least he wasn't the only here feeling rather uncomfortable. "If you can find it..." He raised his brow, unable to stop himself from teasing her obvious distress.

A sound that was something between surprise and a hiccup got caught in her throat.

"Give it to me." He offered her his palm and she place the ointment on it quickly.

He looked down at his body and his fingers traced the length of the wound gently. His lips curled down when he saw that it extended from his chest down to his lower stomach. It was fresh and angry, still pulsating vividly with the memory of that cleaver running through it. The Mithril thread glimmered under the orange light of the elegant lamps. Even though his touch was careful, his skin complained mildly at his intrusion, but thankfully no blood was seeping from the seams. Whatever he did to it back at the burial grounds had not been enough to break his stitches again. He applied a generous amount of ointment all around the scar and at the small gaping holes of Oin's rushed stitching. That wound would leave a very nasty scar in its wake, but it could have ended up with claiming his life so he wasn't too concerned about that. When he finished he handed her over the bottle. "There is a smaller scar on my back where the sword exited. Can you apply some medicine there?"

She reached out and took the bottle with visibly trembling hands. "Yes, Sir." Her voice was husky.

He leaned his palms on his knees again and closed his eyes feeling slightly dizzy and definitely sleepy. He wanted to remain awake for as long as he could tonight though. He needed to avoid having another nightmare so close to the previous one, but he was not sure he was going to manage that easily. Just standing there with his eyes closed was able to doze him off as his body yearned for rest. When her cold fingers found his wound, he jerked in objection to the unexpected touch. She stopped and looked up at him. "I am sorry my King." She said under her breath.

"Never mind, just do what you can." He rejoined quietly and closed his eyes again.

Her fingers returned to his pained skin and he winced as she applied the thick medication thoroughly on and around the wound. He exhaled in relief as the original sting slowly numbed away and felt his head swimming once again as her fingers kept on massaging the medicine around the area. Neither realised that her fingers were occupying themselves with that application far longer than it was needed. He on one hand began relaxing under the softness of her fingertips and as for her…she was looking mesmerised at his back tattoo with the Crown of Durin and the seven stars, not even thinking what her hand was doing. When she drew away from him in order to bring over the bandage he didn't open his eyes. With gentle hands she nudged his arms to part and he opened his eyes ever so slightly to see her red locks just under his nose and only then did he notice that she didn't have those braids on her hair anymore. He opened his mouth to commend on that, but on second thought he remained silent.

"Can you hold this end for me my Lord until I can twist it once around your body so it can stay in place?" She said without raising her head to look at him.

He did her bidding and exhaled loudly as she began wrapping the long bandage around his wide body. The scent of flowers at springtime broke free around him once again and he frowned. She smelled of something fresh, clean or maybe untouched. As she worked quickly and effectively, her melodic voice started murmuring a song, much like like she had done before with Durin's Song in his chambers.

_"Farewell we call to hearth and hall!_

_Though wind may blow and rain may fall,_

_We must away ere break of day_

_Far over wood and mountain tall."_

His mouth dropped open slightly and suddenly he could hear the blood rushing to his ears in tempo with his heartbeat and became very aware of his surroundings. Her voice was enchanting and even though he wanted to ask her who taught her to sing so well, he also didn't want to stop her. Another turn of the bandage around him and she pulled it tighter offering him ample pain, but he didn't want to move or speak for fear of making her stop.

_"To Rivendell, where Elves yet dwell_

_In glades beneath the misty fell,_

_Through moor and waste we ride in haste,_

_And whither then we cannot tell."_

Then the last twist of the bandage came around to his side and she leaned down in order to tie it down properly. He lifted up his arm slightly, not wanting to assist her in any manner whatsoever at that moment. Even though he should have offered to help her, he creepily enjoyed her working and singing on him. Maybe her songs were some sort of comforting mechanism. His mother used to sing whenever she was concentrated on a task or when she was nervous and sad.

_"With foes ahead, behind us dread,_

_Beneath the sky shall be our bed,_

_Until at last our toil be passed,_

_Our journey done, our errand sped."_

She finished and immediately her singing stopped as she drew respectfully away from him.

His gaze held a tension that she was lucky to miss as she was looking at her hands. "You forgot the last verse." The hoarseness of his voice reminded her.

_"We must away! We must away!_

_We ride before the break of day!"_

When her crystalline voice finished the song, she pulled two more steps back just for safe measure. Her eyes kept looking at her fingers that had twisted painfully hard in front of her vest. She held her breath for what seemed like a lifetime until he addressed her once more.

"Who taught you how to sing?" His voice was quiet and he didn't seem disturbed by what she had done.

"No one my King."

His eyebrows twitched in confusion, but his voice held a faint tease. "You just began singing one morning exactly like this?"

She felt her lips twisting uncomfortably. "No, the lady of the tavern I was working at loved singing about Elves, Dwarves, Men and Hobbits for the enjoyment of the customers. I picked up a lot from her".

"You don't seem embarrassed to sing in front of others." He noticed.

She shook her head. "It was part of my job."

"I am not one of the tavern customers, so I presume you didn't sing to please me..." He continued.

She opened her mouth to speak, but he interrupted her assertively.

"Why did you feel the need to sing now and why did you sing back in my chambers the other evening?" His head tilted up slightly and his eyes scrutinised her from the top of her ginger head to bottom of her fury boots. His gaze held no embarrassment, just honest interest.

"I usually sing when I am nervous or very happy, my Lord." She curtsied.

"Which of the two ignited your need to sing now?" Came the much feared question.

She pressed her lips and paled. "Nervousness."

He nodded. "I see."

Her eyes looked up fleetingly, but sadly he was looking away. She held her breath as she spoke the next words. "I am sorry if I bothered you, Sir."

"You didn't bother me. You sing beautifully. Yet you must honour us with your singing more often. Not only when you are nervous." Another curious look was cast in her direction before he stood up to take his undergarment and tunic.

She felt her cheeks blazing hot and instantly the need to sing again reappeared, just because he had asked her to do so. "Thank you, Sir."

"And thank you for your assistance. You are a good maiden, Eilin Firebeard." He offered the wall a side smile as he tried to lift up his arm to wear his tunic.

She rushed to take hold of it. "Shall I help you, Sir?" This time her voice sounded more self assured.

His azure stare seared into hers and for several moments no one moved, until he -unexpectedly- was the first one to withdraw his eyes. "Yes hold it for me, I cannot lift this arm."

Without any words she passed the sleeve of his tunic from his left arm without forcing him to move it at all. Then she brought around the opening to his neck, which she passed from his head and then she offered him the opening of the second sleeve. "You don't have to lift it at all, my Lord." Her sweet smile ended up brightening the corners of her eyes.

"Thank you." His voice had grown more vibrant somehow and she felt the change in her spine.

She had to fight the urge to curl inwards for some reason.

He pulled his trapped hair above his garments and they fell heavy and wet at the middle of his back. "You did a good job, but Dwalin shouldn't have woken you up. I won't be needing you for anything else Eilin. You can go to sleep again."

"I should accompany you back to your rooms, Sir." She offered.

He closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. "There is no need. Go to bed."

She bit both lips and bend her knee. "At your orders, my King." She knew this was a clear order and that she couldn't force her company at him so she walked quickly out of the royal hot springs, feeling her mind troubled and her body more awake than it had been in ages. How in the name of Mahal was she going to go back to bed now?

As for Thorin, he remained there musing at her small silhouette walking briskly and the need to keep away from his bed became even more dire for some reason. He could maybe walk around the grounds as slowly as his body allowed him, trying to figure out the extend of the damage it had after so many years of emptiness. Maybe he could try to remember how to get from one place to another and visit the areas that he didn't used to visit much when he was a Prince here. He could also check the furnaces to see what Fili had done for them and maybe even visit the treasure vaults.

A devilish smirk appeared on his lips.

Yes, maybe he should visit the immeasurable treasure of his Kingdom in order to throw that damned Raven Crown in there and hopefully let it get lost. With a clouded countenance he lifted up the bottle and drank Oin's disgusting concoction, but all his thoughts halted abruptly when he remembered the forging stations. He could actually visit them, pick an anvil and forge all the problems out of his system. Eilin Firebeard was singing her troubles away and he was good at hammering his through fire and steel.

Anything would do, anything to keep him from falling asleep at that moment. He didn't want a revisit from Siv tonight. He preferred to have this girl's voice in his ears instead, a hammer in his hand and the heat of a blazing fire on his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Farewell Song of the Elves (Songs and tales from J.R.R. Tolkien's work.)


	14. *Out of doubt, out of dark

When Eilin woke up that morning after struggling to fall asleep almost until the break of dawn, the first thing on her mind was to check on the King. The thought got immediately discarded as it was not her place to impose unless he asked for her services. Her eyes fell on the bells that were connected to various rooms the King occupied, like his bedroom, his office, the great dining room, the conference room and the throne room. Not one had ringed all night. Equally silent they were this morning. When she decided to get dressed and go out to check on things she didn't expect the commotion she saw at the King's Halls. Lords Balin and Dwalin were conversing with Lord Dain and they all seemed deeply drawn into whatever was occupying their minds. She walked towards Lord Balin feeling certain that the King's advisor would know if the King needed her for something this morning, but the Dwarf-Lord's grim face quickly broke her stride.

Then she saw three men of the King's company whom she recognised from the night she slept amongst them. It was Lord Dori, the kind Dwarf with the polite manners and the meek young boy Ori. The other one with the pointy hair, the elaborate bear braids and the cunnings eyes she didn't like so much and she didn't remember his name either. She decided to approach them instead and inquire for information. They at least didn't seem as preoccupied as the other company and she doubted one of the masons, the random soldiers or the newcomers would know about the King's whereabouts better than his own people.

"Good morning masters." She bend the knee as gracefully as she could.

"Well, good morning young lady." Dori turned to her with a pleasant smile.

"I am sorry to bother you, but do you know where I can find the King? I am his maiden."

Nori pursed his lips. "No one knows where he is this morning."

She frowned. "What?"

"Dwalin saw his bed made and untouched. He didn't sleep there last night. He said when they returned the previous evening, Thorin made it for the royal hot springs and Dwalin notified his maiden to take him some clean clothes. Oh wait...that's you then!" Dori suddenly realised.

Her stomach bubbled up with anxiety. "I saw the King at the hot springs indeed. I assisted him with the dressing of his wound and then he dismissed me. I have no idea what he did afterwards." Why was she suddenly feeling so guilty and above all why didn't she hide in the shadows in order to follow him last night? She's done it before on the Princess' orders. Why not do it again last night when she saw how out of sorts he sounded and looked. She cursed his ability to unnerve her, because that is what caused her to run and hide back in her bedroom after he dismissed her. If she had remained a little more composed like she did when he ran off at Ravenhill, she would have known his whereabouts now.

Dori sighed. "Yes, didn't think you'd know much dear girl. It's mind boggling really. Only a couple of days ago he was delirious in bed and now the old Thorin is suddenly back."

"He really worries me." Ori was fidgeting with the sleeves of his tunic.

"Don't worry son, Thorin can hold his own. If he is well enough to walk alone out of his room and even work on the burial grounds, then I think we can safely say that he is not in any immediate danger." Dori reasoned.

She looked up quickly at that.

"He worked at the burial grounds?" Nori asked.

"Dwalin told me." Dori said.

"On whom?" Nori frowned.

"I don't know and neither will my upbringing allow me to ask such personal questions. If the King of Erebor decided to offer manual labour in order to bury someone, then that person must have been important to him. Now now with the questions." Dori warned his cunning looking comrade.

"You chose the easiest way to get rid of my questions, didn't you?" Nori crossed his arms.

Dori ignored Nori and turned at Eilin with a kind smile. "Anything else we can help you with young lady?"

"Do you perchance know where is the Princess?" She asked with ever growing trepidation.

"At the great dining hall along with a couple of pretty looking ladies who arrived yesterday from the Iron Hills." Nori smirked coyly.

"Thank you!" She said and walked quickly to the direction of the dining hall trying to control her nervousness. The king did look peculiarly off sorts last night, but on the other hand his wound was okay and he didn't seem ailed physically more than usual. Maybe something serious befell him then. Something that could have been avoided had she remained close by in case he needed her. Another wave of fear and guilt gripped her stomach as she opened the door to the dining room. There her worried eyes found Bofur's happy countenance. He raised his hand to notify her of his presence and she waved back absently as she rushed to the table her lady was occupying with the daughters of Fain and Lieutenant Dongar.

"My Lady." She curtsied and cast her eyes at the floor respectfully.

"Eilin..." Dis' gaze fell on her, defeated and bloodshot. She was barely able to sit upright on the chair.

"Is this Eilin the stable girl? What happened to her? Did she get acquainted with the hot springs?" Karunn raised her brow testily.

Eilin felt her skin crawling with apprehension.

"Shut your insolent mouth! As if I don't have enough problems this morning with my brother missing!" Dis warned and Karunn looked away loftily.

"Don't be angry with my sister, my Lady. She probably feels shocked to see Eilin without a hood and so willing to speak." Valdís observations seemed more carefully expressed.

Dis' tone was dismissive and cold. "Then she should address her questions more politely." -Her eyes bore heavy dark circles and her countenance looked sullen. She turned at Eilin and her gaze softened slightly- "Tell me they've found my brother please."

Eilin shook her head feeling her heart sinking. The one who she hoped would give her some news, expected news also. "No, my Lady."

Dis' demeanour took a plunge to the abyss and her lips paled. Lieutenant Dongar took hold of her hand and patted it gently. "Steady, my Lady."

Dis didn't pull her hand free and her eyes pierced Eilin's. "You saw him last, didn't you? Dwalin said he send you to him when they returned from the burial grounds."

Eilin nodded.

"Was he alright?" Dis' voice broke.

"He looked tired but well, my Lady. I dressed his wound and was dismissed. I haven't seen him since." She replied quietly.

"Maybe it's my fault." Dis muttered.

"Why say so, my Lady?" Dongar asked.

"I had an altercation with him yesterday morning and we parted in bad blood. I cannot bear the thought of losing my brother also. I simply cannot." Dis' spoke under her breath and leaned back. Dongar's arms drew her on him and she didn't resist.

Karunn turned angrily at Eilin. "What are you standing there! Bring her some water now!"

Eilin jerked up, shocked into silence.

Valdís looked at her sister. "Keep your voice down sister!"

"Look at her, she is not moving at all. I said bring the Princess some water now, you hairless freak!" Karunn snapped.

Eilin felt her eyes overflowing with tears and rushed to fill a glass, when a heavy hand landed on her shoulder and kept her in place. She turned her blurry eyes and saw Bofur's gaze forestalling her. "Don't move."

"Who's that now?" Karunn frowned with spite.

"I am sorry but unfortunately this girl cannot serve anyone apart from the King." He said and his hand kept her still even though her body tried to move several times towards the direction of the water tumbler. She felt the whole room watching at them. That's what she was afraid was going to happen the moment she saw Karunn yesterday.

"What?" Karunn's lips turned down in disbelief.

Bofur's finger touched the sigil on her sleeve and forced Eilin to face Karunn with a straight and proud posture that the maiden held with great difficulty. "This is Thorin Oakenshield's sigil, my Lady. I'd be very careful how I address the King's personal maiden."

Karunn's face fell in shock and her mouth dropped open. She had nothing to say to this declaration.

"Oh, sweet Mahal that was unexpected." The younger sister exclaimed, but there was no anger in her voice. Only surprise.

"I cannot believe this." Karunn whispered.

"I have enough on my mind already to care about your silly antics!" Dis was choleric towards the oldest daughter of Fain.

Karunn pulled back and cupped her cheeks. "I am sorry, my Lady. I was not informed."

Valdís raised her brow at Eilin. "The King took you in his service then?"

Eilin felt her whole body shaking with a sudden adrenaline rush. "Yes my Lady, but only temporarily."

"Temporarily or not it remains to be seen, but when she is not in my brother's service she is in mine, therefore you all watch your language towards her. Is that clear?" Dis glowered at Karunn.

The lofty girl averted her eyes and pretended remorse. "I am sorry Princess, I didn't act according to my upbringing. I shouldn't have spoken thus, but my worry about you made me imprudent. Please forgive me."

Dis waved her off. "Stop speaking, enough."

Karunn threw her eyes at the tabletop regretfully in front of Dis, but she was reserving a fleeting look of hatred towards Eilin's loose red curls when no one was looking.

"Shall I assist you with anything, my Lady ?" Eilin tried to speak with a steady voice.

"No, just inform me immediately when they find my brother." Dis muttered.

Eilin bowed deeply. "As you command my mistress." She said and walked to the door.

Bofur's hand stalled her. "Will you not join us?"

She shook her head. "I need to find the King."

"Come I'll join you." He said and waved at his brothers to follow them, but only Bifur stood up. Bombur decided to remain and finish the rest of his food. After a few silent moments Bofur spoke to her. "Why the hell did you let that rukhsul menu** speak to you in this manner?"

She rubbed her forehead. "She was my mistress back at the Ironhills you know."

"She's not your mistress now! Thorin stands higher than any other Dwarf-Lord in Middle Earth. You take orders only from him and not even his sister can overstep that." Bofur reasoned.

His calm statement hit her like a ton of bricks and she suddenly felt shocked beyond belief. "Hell...aren't you right?." She muttered.

"Which means you can tell anyone else who tries to order you around to…go and hump a Halfling's armpit!" Bofur smirked.

She chuckled at the image and all the tension tore away from her body. "I will try to remember that..."

"Don't let me see you so broken in front of anyone again. If the Longbeards judged you worthy enough to serve them, then you should be proud. Words like hers shouldn't evoke tears from these beautiful eyes anymore, alright?" Bofur smiled kindly.

She nodded and a bright smile slowly came up to her lips.

* * *

"We haven't found him yet?" Gloin drew back the reins and the two large war rams stopped close to the entrance.

"Do you see him anywhere?" Balin threw his hands in the air.

"No need to be snarky, I've been in the treasury taking care of his orders all morning." Gloin hurled back.

Dwalin eyed the contents of the carriage curiously. "What are all these boxes for?"

Gloin raised his brow. "If Thorin hasn't told you, then I am not going to tell you either."

"I thought we were one company! What the hell is wrong with everyone all of a sudden?" Dwalin barked.

"The treasurer is not keeping company with anyone but the King. When I take off that profession, I can be your companion Dwalin. Thorin signed orders and now they are ready for delivery. The rest? Ask it off of him!" Gloin thundered and crossed his arms.

"At each other's throat again…" Nori raised his brow feeling mildly amused.

"Everyone seems so tense." Dori rejoined with a troubled frown.

"I am more anxious than tense, is that normal Dori?" Ori asked concerned.

"After all that we've been going through I think you are reacting perfectly well my son." Dori responded with a soft caring smile.

Dain was looking critically with his brow raised up to his hairline. "How in the name of Mahal did my cousin manage to regain the Lonely Mountain with you lot at his flanks…"

Dwalin turned at him furious. "Where were you then when he asked for your help and you turned him down?"

Dain's face darkened. "I feared the dragon's wrath as my Kingdom lays close to Erebor. Do you think me wrong in choosing the safety of my people? Look at what happened to Lake Town."

"That was not our fault!" Dwalin came up to his face.

"Now pull back cousin and check your attitude. I love you, but I am too tired to handle you patiently. When you raise a dragon and chase him out of his lair, you can expect comeuppance. I didn't want this to fall on the IronHills!" Dain took hold of his war hammer and came up to his face likewise.

"Now now, I feel furs crawling with anger here also, what the hell?" Bofur intervened. He was accompanied by Eilin and his brother and everyone turned their negative energy towards the newcomers.

"Whilst you were away eating a hearty breakfast and making yourself flashy for the ladies, the rest of us were working all morning! Also Thorin is missing or haven't you noticed?!" Gloin snapped at him.

Bofur raised his brow. "Shut up your red headed troll barf! I didn't cause your problems!"

Bifur cursed Gloin angrily. "Ozirum menu seleku!" ***

"Oh, you tunnel worm!" Gloin snapped and jumped off his carriage. In three steps he was on Bifur's face. "I'll forge the moth-eaten soul out of you!"

Dwalin and Dain were still on it's other faces, not backing up an inch either.

"It'll be interesting to see how this one goes down." Nori snickered at Dori who pursed his lips annoyed.

"With many broken heads…" Dori replied and cleaned his pipe with his finger disinterested.

"Tell me, why didn't we realise that Fili was missing also?" Balin's voice was composed and didn't seem bothered by the tension around him.

All looked around in momentary confusion.

"That's bloody well right. What the hell?" Dwalin said looking lost.

"Also Nori, did you check on Thranduil's gift this morning?" Balin asked never taking his eyes from the road.

Nori looked thrown off tracks. He uncrossed his arms and his self certainty wavered. "That black beast? What would it need this morning? It had enough water and food. Why would I check on it?"

"Because we'd then have known that it was missing along with Thorin." Balin pointed at the road with his head and a smile of deep relief was painted on his lips.

Dwalin came next to him and squinted for a few seconds before a wide smile appeared on his mouth. "Pompous ass almost gave me a heart attack."

Dain raised his head and laughed heartily. "That's them alright."

"He is riding the Kharib**** alongside Fili." Balin shook his head.

Nori crossed his arms thoughtfully. "Do you think he will keep Thranduil's gift then?"

Dori flicked his shoulders. "If he chose to ride it, I'd say there's a pretty good chance."

"Care to wager on it?" Nori raised his brow.

"I'll bet ten pieces of silver, for." Gloin pulled back from Bifur the moment he whiffed the opportunity to gain some money.

"Put me a hundred, for." Dori took out the gold.

Eilin observed them partially amused, as all those male hormones and anger quickly dissipated under this new interest.

Bofur noticed her bewilderment. "Don't give us any notice, we are always like that."

She pressed her lips.

Then he threw his pouch at Nori. "Fifty silver, against." He yelled.

Nori took over all the bets and just before Thorin came into clear view, Balin threw his pouch above his shoulder without even turning around. "Seventy silver, for." He said.

Dain laughed heartily. "Put me down twenty, against." He said, just as Thorin's company approached half hidden behind a dusty curtain. Fili was next to him, on a rather tall brown pony and they both had a rope tied at the side of their animals. They were pulling behind them a hand carriage that was filled with personal belongings and people.

"Dear Mahal…they are not alone..." Dain whispered, but Dwalin was already running towards the newcomers.

"There are more people behind." Young Ori said and followed Dwalin.

Balin and the rest walked towards the incoming company also. Indeed there were several men, women and children walking behind the carriage. Covered in dust and blood, they looked disheveled and totally exhausted. Eilin gave Bofur one apprehensive look and instead of coming out to wait for the King she run the opposite way, into the mountain. Bofur thought about following her, but Nori dragged him out by the sleeve.

Dwalin and Balin were the first to reach Thorin and Fili.

"Are you ok lads!?" Balin said out of breath.

"Let me help you down." Dwalin offered at his best friend.

Thorin shook his head and alighted alone. "I can manage."

"Where the hell have you boys been all night? We've been searching for you like crazy!" His advisor sounded cross.

"Couldn't sleep. Found Fili and we went to the stables. Rest is history." He sounded exhausted.

"Where did you find them?" Dain pointed with his chin at the people who had stopped behind the King.

"We saw torches near the training grounds and decided to check them out. They've been migrating from Ered Mithrin. They were attacked by Orcs as usual. Most have small injuries, but three of them are in a more serious condition. The woman laying in the carriage, lost her baby on the way here." Fili said.

Dwalin frowned. "Thorin you shouldn't have gone to the training grounds, not yet."

"Take care of the people." -Thorin overlooked his friend's solicitude- "Especially the women. Tell Oin to offer them clean lodgings and medical care quickly. They all need food and rest."

"What about the Orcs?" Dain's voice was heavy.

He looked at his cousin long and hard. "Do we have enough men to spare for a division?"

"We can gather one regiment, but we will have to empty Erebor." Dain said carefully.

Thorin shook his head. "We need manpower with all these people coming in. How many battalions can you gather?"

"Two to spare easily and keep another two to secure the perimeter and Dale." Dain raised his brow.

Thorin nodded. "Take over one and check all the way up to the roads that come down from the Grey Mountains. Send another one along the River Running. Tell them to help back all the wounded families and to evacuate any scattered villages that are on their way. We don't want more innocents wounded."

Dain gave him a strict nod. "Yes, men Uzbâd!"

Dwalin steadied Thorin who was wavering slightly. "Why are you holding your stomach so tight?" He whispered discreetly.

"Because if I don't I feel like my insides are going to spill onto my boots." -Thorin bit back and then turned to Balin- "Escort the refugees to the midland vaults."

Balin nodded. "Yes my lad."

Thorin looked over at the woman who was half conscious in the carriage. Ori and Oin were giving her first aid and Bofur with Bifur were helping her family. He untied the rope from his horse just as Fili came over. "Shall I go with Dain uncle? I can take over the second battalion."

"That would be a good idea." Dain raised his brow.

"You are not well enough to engage in battle, no." Thorin shook his head and led his horse to the entrance slowly unable to shake Dwalin from holding his elbow, but also knowing that he was in danger of collapsing if he did.

"I am well enough to ride with you." Fili frowned.

"Your mother is preparing your dead brother for a funeral, I won't bring her back another dead son, no." His jawline tightened painfully.

Dain crossed his arms and remained silent.

"You are treating me like a child and I am not!" Fili sounded cross.

Thorin pulled his arm away from Dwalin and grabbed Fili's forearm. "You are the next King of Erebor if I fail. You will not die in the midst of an unimportant battle in the Grey Mountains just in order to escort back refugees. I will not have to answer for your death to Dis. Enough!" He hissed.

Fili's eyes filled with tears and he reciprocated the tight hold. "Let me do my job as the next King of the Lonely Mountain then uncle. If I am to fall, then I shall. Trust in me please."

"I don't trust life anymore to be fair with me." -Thorin frowned as he muttered those words almost breathlessly- "I won't lose you."

"You cannot keep me locked up forever." Fili shook his head.

Dain looked at his boots and so did Dwalin.

Thorin closed his eyes in defeat and inhaled deeply. "Is your wish to go with Dain so dire?"

Fili nodded. "I want to help those people, yes."

"And I need the help of good leaders." Dain's steady voice tried to help out.

Fili threw him a grateful gaze which Dain reciprocated with a knowing smile.

Thorin's mind overflowed with images of his dead nephew and his fingers grabbed Fili almost possessively. "Don't make me come find your dead body." His deep voice held a steely tone of warning.

"I will not, but I am afraid my departure might be forestalled by others." Fili's brow came together in annoyance.

Thorin looked up to see what drew his nephew's attention and sure enough Dis was coming to them with an air of defiance surrounding her. She was escorted by two ladies he had never seen and her maiden. His eyes fixed on the girl and thinned as he felt ripples of anger crawling on his nape. He saw her standing at the entrance when he was riding back. She was there amidst the rest of his company and instead of coming out to help them, she decided to run back inside and inform Dis...only resulting in creating more problems on top of the existing ones.

"You may have allowed me to go, but mother may have a different opinion." Fili raised his brow critically against his mother's obvious displeasure towards them.

Thorin lowered his head and braced himself for the impact.

Dain came forth and raised his hands. "And just when I was thinking that I had to find a good time to introduce to you my two nieces! Welcome Valdis and Karunn, let me meet you the King of Erebor!"

"This is not a good time." Thorin whispered and his eyes burned through the bowed head of Eilin till the moment his sister came up to him and demanded his attention.

"Where have you been?" She snapped at his face.

He raised his brow. "I didn't know I had to answer to you about my whereabouts." His nose flared.

Dis drew up proudly, but her eyes were full of tears of worry.

"Mother you are out of line." Fili warned her.

"You too…you've gone missing along with him! I was worried sick! You both disappeared on me a few of days after you managed to escape death! Do you think what you did is wise?!" Dis spat at their faces not caring that everyone could hear them, nor that her attitude was not the appropriate towards the King outside closed doors.

His hand disentangled from Fili and grabbed hold of her bicep way too tightly drawing her close to him. "You will control yourself in front of all these people." Came the quiet command.

She swallowed hard and nodded discreetly, only then realising her folly.

Then he turned to Dain. "This is not the best time for introductions cousin. Do your best, but do it quick."

Dain cringed and beckoned the girls forth. "This is my youngest niece Valdis and her older sister Karunn. Beloved girls and iron maidens from the very bowels of the Iron Hills. You cannot find more tough yet beautiful ladies in my stronghold Thorin, I can personally assure you."

They both bend the knee. "An honour to meet such a legend, your Majesty." They said in unison.

"And an honour to meet you too. Pray forgive my brashness, but this is not the best time to give you the attention you deserve. I hope your lodgings are satisfactory?" He tried to sound polite even though his skin was already rippling with anger towards his sister, but especially towards Eilin who brought her here.

"More than satisfactory my Lord." Valdis peeped at him under her long lashes. Immediately her cheeks caught fire and she averted her eyes.

"I am glad you have found out accommodations to your liking. Now will you please allow me and my sister some privacy to discuss some family matters?" His smile was forced.

Karunn and Valdis looked around them uneasily. "Of course my Lord, forgive us…"

Balin intervened since Dain straightened up and looked offended by the clear dismissal. "You just caught up the King in the most unfortunate circumstances. I am sure he will find a good opportunity to catch up with you at dinner. Tonight maybe?"

Thorin glared at Balin but nodded and offered them a forced smile. "Of course it will be my honour."

Dain smiled pleased. "You heard the King. Tonight at dinner! Now off you two...we have to take care of business!"

They smiled, bowed and walked away.

When they were alone again Thorin's smile melted into a brooding frown that didn't leave anyone untouched. "Will you tell me what's come over you to talk to me in this manner in front of all these people?" He hissed at Dis.

The angry curtain in her eyes got drawn away to show a pair of pained eyes that touched his heart instantly. "I am sorry I was so forthcoming, but I was worried to death about you and my son…."

He relaxed his grip on her arm and averted his eyes. "You shouldn't have come up here this morning, you should have been taking care of Kili."

"I was about to do that, when Eilin notified me." She said.

He remembered and threw another murderous look at the maiden, but his sister approached him slowly and wrapped her arms around his body. "I was worried Thorin, please don't look so angry. I couldn't have handled you or Fili getting hurt again. When I was told that you were missing all night I thought that was it. That I lost everyone from my family." She whispered defeated.

His arms came around her and he leaned his cheek on the top of her head. "It's one thing to be afraid gerbil and another to storm me like a hurricane when I am in front of my people. Try to keep up the pretence as much as your fiery personality allows you to."

She smirked and kissed the top of his chest lovingly. "I am sorry. Are you alright wolf?"

He nodded. "Yes."

Then her hand grabbed Fili and drew him into the embrace. "You, my boy?"

Fili's arm came around her shoulders. "I am fine mother and too late to join Dain. He is waiting for me." He sounded embarrassed.

She pulled back and the relieved expression slowly began shifting to annoyance once more. "Why is Dain waiting for you?"

Fili raised his brow. "Because I will take over the battalion which will overlook the River Running all down to Mirkwood and the Long lake."

She forgot all about her worries and turned to Thorin accusingly. "Did you allow my wounded son to take over another military expedition so close to his demise?"

Thankfully her voice was low and careful, but her words were nevertheless piercing. "It was his request."

"Which is to be allowed by the King…who is you…so therefore…." -Her hands moved casually- "Care to explain why you allowed him?"

Thorin's eyes hardened again. "Him, Dain and Dwalin are my best soldiers Dis and they will do their job as such."

She crossed her arms and pulled back slightly. "Even though he is still recovering?"

"Yes." Thorin nodded coldly.

She turned to her son. "Why did you ask of such a silly thing?"

Fili drew up. "Because I want to help my kingdom. Now will you excuse me mother, while I go and do my job without being cornered like some bloody thirty year old boy?"

She inhaled sharply and turned at Thorin. "Well…look at his insolence. That's all your doing."

Thorin huffed. "Fili go and join your uncle." His words finalised the situation and Fili bowed at them satisfied before turning his back to his shocked mother.

"You are making me so mad again." Dis hurled at Thorin.

He shook his head. "I am here to command, not please you Dis."

She pressed her lips and looked around her haughtily. Everyone had drawn back at a respectful distance and pretended not to hear. "Oh, you've made that pretty clear two days ago." She retorted.

"Are the daughters of Fain helping you with the preparations for Kili?" He pursed his lips.

She nodded dismissively.

"What about Tauriel?"

She glared at him and he met her haughty eyes with equanimity. "She is helping also."

He sighed. "Very well, that's all for now."

She looked around her at the people who appeared to ignore her. "I want to hug you till you have no breath left and also to strike you so hard that you will grow deaf for a week!" She hissed in a low tone.

His lip upturned in a half smile. "I love you too, now leave." He spat.

She turned around and threw her head up haughtily before directing her steps inside.

Eilin got ready to follow her and he felt his nape crawling once again.

"Everyone nijâm!"* He growled and they all animated around him. Dwalin went and stood next to Gloin who was a safe distance away, but kept his guarded look on Thorin. Nori, Ori and Dori left silently and Balin escorted the wounded family inside. Bofur, Bifur and Oin were taking care of the woman from the carriage. Dain and Fili had already departed, so that left only the retreating maiden. His teeth gritted and he grumbled in a low deep tone that raised every single hair on her body. "Except from you Eilin Firebeard."

She froze with her back turned to him.

"Turn around and come here." He commanded.

As she did, he saw her feet unsteady and her hands trembling. She approached and stood in front of him with her head bowed low. "Yes, Sir."

He drew a deep breath trying to control his anger towards this insolent maiden. If she hadn't ran off to call his sister, all this would have been avoided. "Do you know what your job is in this city, currently?"

"To serve the King." She didn't hesitate.

"Are you aware of what that includes?"

She shook her head at a loss.

"A maiden's job is to be forever present in case she is needed. Why were you not at the gates waiting for me?" His voice grumbled in deep angry undertones.

"I was..." She pulled herself upright even though her whole body was shaking from fear.

"You were there long enough for me to see you. Why did you not remain?" He raised his brow.

"I don't know how to serve royalty...I've told princess Dis..." She mumbled.

"Yet you knew well how to ran away the moment I alighted in order to notify my sister, didn't you?" His voice dropped even more if possible.

"I did it only because she was so worried about you, Sir. She almost fainted this morning at the dining room. I wanted to comfort her. To tell her that you were alright…" She tittered and wiped a couple of tears that cascaded down to her lips. She was very angry at herself for failing him so badly.

"Your job is to serve, not to judge who you must notify or not. Such decisions are not up to you." He continued the tirade.

"Your sister asked me to notify her…" She tried and her fingers twisted around each other nervously.

"Whom do you serve?" He looked at her above the bridge of his lofty nose.

She bit her lower lip. "You." She exhaled, feeling diminished.

He nodded. "Did you act accordingly?"

"No Sir." She wiped away another stray tear and felt her bottom lip trembling hard.

He remained silent with his hand leaning on the shoulder of his horse, scrutinising her for what felt like a lifetime until she spoke again.

"I messed up, forgive me Sir." She spoke with a hushed voice.

He nodded feeling his anger dissipated by degrees. "You did….." -then his brows creased thoughtfully- "….and yet you didn't."

She looked up sharply at that and he saw her green teary eyes welling with confusion. "What, Sir?"

"You proved your loyalty to my sister beyond any doubt and therefore your loyalty to my family. You overlooked your obligations towards the King in order to serve my sister's emotional needs. What you did angers the King, but satisfies the brother and I am right in the middle of that contradiction." He said reflectively.

She looked at him bug eyed with a mouth that slid open even though her tears had not abated yet.

He pursed his lips and looked away towards the entrance. "My sister's wishes usually collide with mine, they don't concur. Nevertheless her wishes always mean more to me than I will ever admit to her or that you will ever reveal from this unexpected conversation we are having right now." His brow rose in austerity.

She shook her head eagerly. "Never, Sir."

"Even if my sister wishes you to speak…" He continued.

"No Sir, never! Forgive me…" -Eilin felt her tears running anew for different reasons altogether now. She didn't know what to tell him- "Sir…I assure you that I am here to serve your needs and hers equally…" She made a fresh attempt.

Then unexpectedly his heavy hand landed on her small shoulder and her knees unlocked briefly, before she steadied herself once more. "You took care of Dis and I don't require anything more from you, no matter my need to chastise your disobedience."

She wiped away the tears, feeling strangely comforted and scared at the same time. "Give me a chance to mend this Sir and I will!"

He shook his head. "You don't need to mend what is working perfectly already." -His long fingers tightened around her shoulder and she felt her stomach gripping suddenly- "I need you to remain with Dis today."

She frowned. "But Sir, I am here to serve you now..."

He withdrew his hand and she felt instant regret. "Go to Dis and look after her for me."

"Sir, please…" She tried.

"Do what you know how to do best. I don't want anything more." He offered her a tired smile, but the dismissal was clear.

She lowered her head and turned around. She wanted to leave slowly and with as much composure as had been left in her, but instead her body took over and she broke into a run. As she did a small wooden bead fell off her long red mane and clanked onto the stone floor close to Thorin's boot.

Thorin looked at it long and hard before picking it up. Then he drew himself up and took hold of the saddle. Dwalin approached when he was finally alone. "You look unwell and tired beyond count." His friend's worried voice informed him of the obvious.

His head offered him a curt nod as acknowledgment. "I am." Then he turned at Gloin who was waiting to be noticed next to his carriage.

When his wish got fulfilled the treasurer's smile widened and he presented the carriage at Thorin with a curt bow. "If you are finished with everything else….I am at your orders."

Thorin felt his lips upturning and he released the saddle and pulled his arm from Dwalin once more. His limp was much heavier than last night as he walked towards the carriage and inspected the boxes. "It's all here?"

"As you ordered and ready to be delivered. Do you want me to do this?" Gloin crossed his arms cockily.

Thorin shook his head and his brow clouded slightly. "Me and Dwalin will go."

"Go where? You are barely able to walk!" Dwalin hissed close to his ear.

"Either you accompany me or I go alone." Thorin glowered down at his friend.

Dwalin crossed his arms and shook his head. "You are not going alone anywhere else today."

* * *

It took them a long time to reach Dale's destroyed Town Hall. His fingers rolled his maiden's wooden bead and he lifted it up to his eyes. No runes were carved on it, but a simple daisy. One hairpin at the side of his lips curled up sadly as he brooded over the wooden hair ornament of this service girl. He didn't know what made him pick it up after it fell from her hair, but here it was being held up by his long fingers. Looking way too delicate for his large hand. Maybe it was the profound loyalty that she had showed towards his sister that had touched him so deeply or the ale that he shared with Dwalin on their way here, along with some food Bombur had prepared this morning and his friend was wise enough to bring along.

He straightened his body and felt his stomach mildly complaining. Flickering his shoulders he humphed. "I can deal with this kind of pain any day."

"Mead mellowed you down, didn't it?" Dwalin's happy countenance betrayed that he was not far behind in alcohol consumption. "It was a bomb!"

"I think I should drink a couple of bottles before going to bed, then maybe I won't…" he suddenly stopped, his brow turning stern.

Dwalin noticed. "Won't what?"

Thorin shook his head.

Dwalin grabbed his shoulder. "I know something is going on. Now speak."

Thorin pushed him away playfully. "The left side of my upper body was cut in half by a meat cleaver bigger than both our heads combined. I am in constant pain and only alcohol helps me with it. I suppose I can reach my father's iconic drunken deliriums if I practice hard enough and make Oin proud. Never too late to achieve legendary proportions in that department, right?"

Dwalin laughed heartily. "Never! Now will you tell me why the hell we are standing out here with a bunch of boxes in the carriage?"

Thorin's hand landed on his forearm and tightened in a silent warning. "You'll know soon enough. Be at the ready."

Dwalin frowned and took hold of his war axe.

Several people began gathering slowly around them. Silently wide eyed they came down the steps of the Town Hall and opened up the barricaded half destroyed doors of shops and houses. Walking up the street with man made sticks, many of them bearing tourniquets on the heads, arms, legs and bodies. Broken down relics that had seen too much of death and destruction. Desolate faces full of dirt and blood. Eyes half wild half expectant, not having much hope, but not letting go of it either. Women holding their men and sons by the arm, helping them stand up like Dwalin had done to Thorin this morning by the gates of Erebor. Faces fallen in hopelessness and others holding a faint glimmer of sparkle at seeing him there. He couldn't recognise any of them, but he knew they had been there cheering him on when he declared that he wanted to take back Erebor for his people. The men and women of Lake Town had offered him the little honours they could and send him on his way to their death. What followed next destroyed their small town.

These people slowly crowding his carriage with unknown intentions were what had remained of Esgaroth. A handful of destroyed families and wounded prides. He swallowed a dry throat and felt his eyes welling unable to believe how coldly he had turned his back at the burning town once the dragon had left Erebor. His mind was wickedly set on getting back into the vaults to search for his grandfather's Raven Crown and the Arkenstone, not even caring that people were being burned to death behind him. That children were experiencing in their cribs the worst death possible.

Now all these longing, accusing, hostile or even encouraging eyes were coming up all around him. He half expected them to start pointing angry fingers full of accusations or maybe even jumping on the carriage and tearing him apart, but he steadied himself. He didn't go through hell to be intimidated by a bunch of broken men and children. He had to face them and his guilt if there was ever a possibility to put their torment and his torture to rest.

Dwalin's hand tightened on his axe, but Thorin stalled him. "No."

Dwalin whispered. "They don't look friendly."

"They are desperate and I am the one who caused this desolation upon them." Thorin frowned and looked around him.

"Glad to see you owning up to your responsibility." -Bard's sombre voice came from the top of the stairs- "My King."

"Bard." Thorin's deep voice acknowledged.

He stepped down cautiously. "To what do we owe the pleasure, King Oakenshield?"

"Pleasure?" He raised his brow with a knowing smirk.

Bard tilted his head. "For lack of better words."

Thorin thrust his chin up. "Two days ago you came to me with a request."

"Which you declined."

"He never declined! He said he was going to think about what you asked!" Dwalin intervened.

Thorin stopped him with a single look and then turned to Bard again. "Asking does not equal getting."

"You've been clear enough on that front." -Bard approached- "Repeatedly...Prior to the war and after. So why did you come here then? To see the destruction the dragon caused eons ago? Or what was destroyed by the Orcs recently?"

"You keep being ungrateful! The King send half of our builders and half of our hunt in order to assist you!" Dwalin barked.

Thorin's hand landed on Dwalin's forearm and stalled him once more.

"We have sick, we have wounded, we need help." -A woman in threadbare clothing staggered out of the crowd with a broken voice and pained eyes- "We don't have anything anymore, not even a few pennies to purchase medication and clean clothes from the nearest villages. All our property is gone under the fire of the dragon that you awoke!" She pointed at him furiously.

Thorin looked at the forlorn faces around him and shuddered. He didn't want to defend himself against this accusation, for it was true.

"Margaret, please." Bard told her and she got drawn back by a bloody faced man who offered Thorin a deadly glare that would have unnerved anyone, except from him.

"Let your people speak." Thorin felt his brows furrowing grimly and met every demanding stare calmly, unable to stop his loftiness from making his body stand taller than before in defence.

Yet no one else spoke under his offer. They simply stood there looking at him with deadpan glassy eyes. People hungry, dirty, wounded and ill while a few miles down the hill there was a mountain full of gold, full of greed and lust for wealth.

He turned above his shoulder and looked at his carriage. "These belong to you."

Bard's oldest son ran down the stairs and took hold of his father's shoulder. "What's all this dad?"

"Not now, son." -Bard told him and turned to Thorin who was alighting slowly from the carriage- "You know that we are grateful for any kind of help that comes from Erebor. I told you at the gates that we consider you our King also. We may not be Dwarves, but Dale had always been Erebor's moon and so shall its remains be now. However much food and builders are appreciated, we need what once belonged to this grand city that was under your grandfather's command and I won't back down on this. Not now after all this destruction and death. Please Thorin reconsider…."

Thorin's sombre tone echoed at the ruined plaza making Bard stop. "Speak less and do more to serve your people, Mayor. Open the chests and prove to them that you can deal with their contents wisely, for actions speak louder than words." -He said proudly and pulled himself up on his horse with a low grunt of pain- "And actions are far harder than words….." He added with a dark gaze full of wisdom.

Dwalin mounted his tall pony with very stern eyes and emptied his war axe on his strong shoulder.

Bard approached the carriage and counted twenty large chests. One of his people brought him a crow bar. "What do they contain?" His eyes looked searchingly at Thorin whose horse was already opening up a small path between the gathered people.

Thorin smirked under his black beard. "Your request." He muttered and his eyes passed warily from every man, woman and child who was opening up the road for him and Dwalin.

The loud crack as one of the boxes was forced open made Dwalin's pony jerk nervously, but they didn't stop. Several pieces of gold fell off and rolled down the street. One stopped at the feet of a wide eyed young man who looked at it dumbly without making a move to take it. Bard's mouth dropped open. "Twenty chests of gold?"

"Jewels and precious stones might be trapped in there also." Dwalin threw above his shoulder.

"WHY!?" The desperation of Bard's cry stopped their advance.

Thorin frowned. "Why?"

Bard ran at them and grabbed the reins of Thorin's horse. "Why did you do it?"

Thorin's eyes fixed at him calmly. "I returned what the dragon took from you, Mayor. This gold never belonged in Erebor to begin with."

Bard's eyes welled and he choked on the next words. "I don't know what to say."

"Let go of the reins and go to your people. I require no further words from you." Thorin rejoined.

Bard released his black steed. "Thank you." The heavy emotions in his voice was clear.

"Make wise use of the gold and of your position now, dragon slayer. You have a city to build from ground zero. Gaining power is one thing. Being strong enough to keep it and wise enough to be fair to all is the hard part." -Thorin smiled wistfully and then added- "I should know something about that."

Bard felt his throat closing down. "You must remain, you must allow us the chance to thank you properly."

Thorin shook his head. "Bury your dead and let me bury mine. I lay my nephew to rest tomorrow evening."

Bard opened his mouth to reply, but Thorin set his horse off in a trot cutting through the remaining crowd like a knife cuts butter.

A little while later their horses were still trotting at the abandoned streets of Dale near it's entrance ready to make their way back at Erebor, when Thorin noticed a broken blue door in front of a music shop.

"Would you look at that now…" He muttered and alighted.

"Isn't this the music shop where Dis and Frerin had bought you that amazing golden harp from?" Dwalin frowned.

Thorin nodded with a sad smile. "It is."

"Amazing that it's still standing" -Dwalin pressed his lips- "Well, barely." He added and then retrieved his wallet and began counting his silver.

Thorin took a quick look inside and then over at his friend. "What's that you got there?"

"My share of the bet." Dwalin showed him the full pouch.

"What bet?"

Dwalin pointed at the proud black horse. "If you were going to keep Thranduil's horse."

Thorin felt his lips upturning to an honest smile. "You pointy-eared bastards."

Dwalin laughed heartily at that.

Then in an afterthought Thorin looked at him honestly amused. "How many bet for?"

"Me, Balin, Bofur, Nori, Dori, Ori and Bombur."

Thorin's eyebrows lifted surprised. "More than I would have thought. I cannot deny that it's a beautiful animal and I have missed riding a horse."

"Yeah since your impeccable ethics made you ride a damned pony all this time, because you didn't want to make your comrades feel diminished. Forcing me to do the same!" Dwalin sounded critical.

"That sounds like a reproach."

"My back is killing me when I ride ponies and I am not getting any younger!" Dwalin pointed out crossly.

"Maybe you can ask the woodland realm for another horse then." Thorin smirked.

"I prefer buying it from Dale thank you very much! At least they need the money...hold it." -Dwalin raised his hand and Thorin his brow expectantly- "Needed it. With twenty chests of gold I don't think they need money anymore."

Thorin offered him an honest smile. "That sounds almost bitter."

"Twenty! Not one or two, but twenty!" -Dwalin pointed back at the road they came from- "What are they going to do with so much gold?"

"Hire builders, buy medicine and food, masonry and wood. Anything they need to rebuild their city." Thorin flicked his shoulder and entered the ruined music shop. Instantly his eyes saw an abandoned harp standing at the end of the store.

"With twenty chests of gold they can buy a new city. Never mind rebuilding this broken one." Dwalin dismissed him.

"You sound like Gloin."

"Well, cannot blame him and how in the name of heaven did you convince him to part with so much gold?" Dwalin alighted and stood by the door with crossed arms.

"It is not his to part with." Thorin's voice darkened as he approached the harp. His long fingers wiped away eons of dust, that floated in front of his thoughtful face.

Silence ruled behind him for a few moments and his long fingers touched the strings.

"Thorin can you hear me?" Dwalin's voice returned.

He nodded. "Yeah." He murmured and then his fingers touched a couple of notes gently, creating a soft array of music which made his heart rejoice.

"Just so you'd know, I am proud of being your friend even though I can sound grumpier than you sometimes."

A ghostly smile touched Thorin's lips. "What did I do to deserve such a loving declaration?"

Dwalin's voice came from the door. "Today I saw again the friend I know and love dearly. The one who always had a profoundly loving heart and a deep sense of fairness since he was a child."

Thorin smiled and played a few of more notes.

"I cannot forget the relic you had become when we first arrived at Erebor and that damned treasure blinded all the honour out of you. How you stood at the throne room, indifferent of the woes outside your door as long as you had the vault full of gold and the gates sealed." Dwalin continued.

Thorin's brows creased tightly and his fingers played a five note combination that made Dwalin raise his chin in recognition. "I will never forget that either." Thorin whispered

A few more notes were played with a gentleness and skill that could have risen up the dead and Dwalin leaned his tall frame on the casing of the broken blue door. "Out of doubt, out of dark, to the day's rising he rode singing in the sun, sword unsheathing. Hope he rekindled, and in hope ended; over death, over dread, over doom lifted out of loss, out of life, unto long glory." The words were spoken not sung.

Thorin's palms encased the vibrating strings and the magnificent music stopped suddenly. The crackling of the broken window sills moving slowly with the soft wind replaced it and a tear of sadness stained Thorin's eye. "Aye, you remembered correctly."

Dwalin sighed quietly. "A song of new hope. It's befitting."

"Tell some men to come and pick up this beauty. It will be a pity for it to rot here unused." Thorin looked at the beautifully carved harp almost longingly. Ever since Siv died he refrained from playing any kind of music, apart for his nephews when they were very little.

Dwalin nodded. "I'll come pick it up myself after I escort you back."

Thorin looked above his shoulder. "Thank you brother."

Dwalin smiled lovingly. "My pleasure brother."

* * *

 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Everyone leaves
> 
> ** daughter of an orc
> 
> *** you couldn't forge a spoon.
> 
> **** steed


	15. *Under mountain, Under stone

"Everyone is ready, laddie." Balin's sombre voice turned Thorin's countenance a tone darker.

He nodded, but he didn't take his eyes away from the fireplace. "My sister?"

"She will be escorted by Fili and her ladies in honour." Balin cast his eyes down, but Dwalin's gaze remained on his friend.

Eilin looked quickly at the King and her heart pinched her as a clouded frown overburdened her beautiful dark ginger eyebrows. Ever since she was called to his service this dreadful afternoon she just couldn't keep her eyes away from him, for more than one reasons. This kind of reaction felt so strange to her that she was half way out of her body. Her eyes looked at his heavy royal blue coat and at his long warrior braids resting on its thick fur. The silver plated vest underneath was sparkling with the brightness of the fire which burned at the hearth as did the metallic square corners of his boots. Around his head was a golden Coronet that had two ravens carved amongst geometrical patterns. It's flat shiny surface was visible only on his noble forehead and then it got buried under his thick hair that twisted around it in well formed braids drawn from his temples.

His Raven Crown was still on his desk abandoned and yet even this simple Coronet bespoke clearly for the first time in Eilin's eyes of Thorin's true stature amongst all the other Dwarves of Erebor. The true King of the Lonely Mountain was in front of her, but there was something missing from his imposing countenance and that something made her heart complain. Every time she gazed at his beautiful azure eyes she saw their sparkle missing. The breathtaking fire she had seen burning in them several times, which always unnerved her was gone today. He had been sitting in that elaborate and heavy armchair after coming out of his room dressed like the illustrious King of Erebor that everybody was expecting and his eyes hadn't moved from the hearth once. No matter how many times his friends had addressed him, he had responded few and Eilin had to bite back the need to check on him even though her mind was chastising her for that silliness. She cast a brief look at him feeling partially guilty about her inappropriate thoughts. Their King was burying his beloved nephew today and there she was unwillingly mooning over her need to make his lips break a small smile.

"Will you wear it?" -Balin's voice broke the heavy silence. He had taken the Crown from the desk and was holding it in front of Thorin- "The Coronet you used to wear as a Prince is hardly enough anymore. You are the King now my lad."

He pushed it aside with a look of disdain Eilin didn't miss and shook his head. "Put that damned thing somewhere I cannot see it."

Balin sighed in defeat and gave his brother an eloquent look. "As you wish my boy."

Eilin saw the disappointment on the old advisor's demeanour.

Dwalin crossed his arms and looked protectively at his friend as silence fell on them like a dark blanket once more. After a long time were no one seemed to move lest they bothered the King's brooding thoughts, a knock on the door made Eilin jump out of her skin and Balin jerk nervously. Dwalin motioned at her to open it as Thorin remained totally impassive.

Gloin's thick ginger beard made its appearance before his head did. Then his clever eyes fell on Balin who shook his head discreetly. Dwalin pressed his lips as Gloin opened the door and spoke quietly. "We have a small group from Dale that has come to honour the dead Prince, Uzbâd."

Thorin's empty eyes lifted up to his treasurer and his lips twitched. "Bring them in." His naturally baritone voice, sounded so rough and unused that it made Eilin's hair stand on electrified attention.

Gloin left immediately and they heard some quiet talking from the corridor.

"Do you think it's a good idea to do this now son?" The care on Balin's voice was clear but made no impression on Thorin who cast his eyes at the fire again.

Balin looked troubled at Dwalin who bit his lips and released a breath he had been holding.

Eilin could understand their worry. What was happening now didn't have to do with the ailment on the King's body, but what was taking place inside his heart and that was something no one could penetrate unless the King himself allowed them.

The voices outside stopped and the door reopened. Gloin entered with Bard and two young ladies carrying an intricate flower design on two deep silver platers. All were dressed as impeccably as the destruction of their property allowed, but the effort was not lost under Thorin's heavy scrutiny. "Good evening." He acknowledged.

Bard kneeled down and so did the girls. "King Oakenshield."

Thorin felt his throat drying out and his eyes welling up quickly with unbidden tears. He didn't know how he was going to make it through this accursed afternoon. He pulled his gaze quickly away and looked at the fire once more. That was the safest place to keep his slowly boiling emotions at bay. "To what do we owe the pleasure?" He asked quietly.

Bard looked up. "I thought long and hard if it was appropriate to bother you in your time of woe, but the need to thank you about what you did for us made my decision easier. That and the demand of the citizens of Dale to be here for you today in some manner."

"Thank you." Came the defeated answer.

Bard looked at his hands thoughtfully. "I personally wanted to thank you for returning to me the emeralds of my forefather Girion. You acted nobly towards us and we want to reciprocate your gesture in every possible way."

Thorin shook his head absently. "There is no need."

"Please allow us to honour the death of Prince Kili. We don't have anything more to offer than these flowers unless we return part of the treasure you offered us, but we would like to be present when you lay this brave warrior to rest under..."

"… mountain, under stone." Thorin's deep voice echoed in the room and he had to close his eyes in order to stop his tears. An iron fist wrapped around his emotions which threatened to ran amok. He inhaled deeply and prayed for strength.

Balin offered a guarded look to Dwalin who nodded in understanding and approached discreetly to stand closer to Thorin.

"Are we allowed to attend the funeral as your people Thorin?" Bard looked at him with a clear face that bespoke of honesty.

"For the sake of your forefathers, say yes laddie." Balin whispered, feeling deeply affected.

Thorin turned his desolate look at Balin and remained silent for what seemed forever. Then finally he turned at Bard who was looking at him openly. "Let Gloin lead you to the burial chamber Mayor."

Bard stood up and so did the girls who didn't dare look at the King at all. "Thank you."

Thorin nodded and turned his eyes to the fire again. His large hand dismissed Dale's emissaries and silence fell heavy once more around them. No one dared move or speak for the longest of times and it was only the huge golden bell's first chime that made Thorin look up once more and Eilin had the opportunity to see the dread in his eyes briefly before the curtains of emptiness fell back once again.

Balin uncrossed his arms and his face darkened. "We must away son. They are about to begin."

Dwalin offered Thorin his hand, but the King dismissed it half heartedly. On the bell's second chime he opened the door of his office. On the bell's third chime he was walking in front of everybody taller and prouder than Eilin had ever seen him, his limp almost invisible under his heavy military tempo. As the bell chimed a fourth time their grim progression appeared on the lonely hallway which led to the circular burial vaults. Solemn faces were observing the Royal family from the dark shadows in woeful silence and their candles sparkled like stars in the darkness of the cold caverns of those ancient times. On the bell's fifth chime Thorin entered the circular room and everybody kneeled down in respect, even his sister who was being supported by Fili on one side and by Fain's daughters on the other.

He nodded at all the attendants curtly and took his place next to his sister. Everybody stood up and the sixth and final chime of the bell gave the signal for the burial to begin.

Thorin felt an air of complete heartbreak and hopelessness coming from Dis, but he kept his heavy stare at Kili's elevated tomb. He had been cleaned and dressed like a Prince. His bow along with a golden arrow was placed upon his chest. Thorin's eyes flickered shut as a grim parade of loving relatives and friends began paying their respects to the dead. When a low lament filled the room, his heart erupted with immeasurable sadness. He looked at his nephew's pale face as everyone bowed in front of his boy and time floated by him. He was totally unwilling to draw his eyes away from Kili's deathbed even though the burden was bending him out of shape. When Tauriel approached and kneeled heavily before even making it to the tomb, Thorin leaned close to Dwalin and whispered. "Go help her."

Dwalin quickly reached the broken She-elf and gently led her to her one true love. Her tears didn't leave anyone unaffected as she fell on top of Kili and kissed his clear brow, staining it with her tears. Then her hand touched his and she whispered something to his ear that no one was able to hear. When Dwalin escorted her away her legs buckled and he had to lead her to some free benches at the side of the cavern in order to make sure she wouldn't collapse.

The song was joined by the common people who were outside the vault and Dain's soldiers thus creating a lamentation that made the very stones of Erebor weep. Thorin managed to keep his chest square, his eyes dry and his heart squeezed under a merciless iron grip up till Dis opened her mouth and her crystal voice joined in. It raised above the rest so broken with grief, but still so strong and proud that it was enough to release Thorin's hard kept tears. He felt his eyes overflowing so quickly that he almost choked.

When Dain and his commanders offered Kili a powerful series of battle cries in Khuzdul that shook the earth beneath their feet, Dis almost collapsed next to him. His hand reached out and pulled her in. She grabbed onto him like a barnacle and her sobs entered his blood stream, making adrenaline rush through his body. His eyes gave Fili the silent command to say goodbye to his brother.

The words of his beloved nephew -if there were any- sounded muffled in his buzzing ears which were thudding loudly with his elevated heartbeat. His sister's hand was curled around the fur of his lapels like an octopus and her face was buried in his royal vest. Her sobs were now bordering to hyperventilating, making it difficult for her to breathe. Fili returned and was ready to lead his mother to Kili, but Thorin shook his head and led her there himself. His steps were heavy as she dragged her feet behind her, totally unable to keep her body up. When they reached the elaborate grave his jawline flexed sternly. "Stand up woman and say goodbye to your son." The command was clear in his voice. His hand drew her up with a strength he didn't know he possessed and she borrowed courage from him. She steadied herself on Kili's stony bed and touched his brow and his lips lovingly.

He heard her words, but denied to take them in because he knew they would break him before he even got a chance to see his boy away. He looked at Kili's pale face and blue lips and another eruption of tears sprang from his eyes. He saw Dis collapsing and he picked her up with a low key moan of pain that he was unable to stop in time. Fili mercifully took part of her weight away from Thorin's broken body.

"Take her back son." Thorin told his nephew and remained there in front of Kili unable to draw his eyes away from his dead nephew.

For a long time he remained silent, observing him like a statue and no one dared to move around him. Only the lament of his sister was audible as everyone showed their quiet respect to the Royal family's anguish. Then his voice resounded imposing upon the round golden walls and everyone sprang in attention as if awoken from a deep reverie. "Prince Kili, son of Kilskjald and Princess Dis, grandson of Thrain and heir of Durin, rest well in the valley of the Kings. Sleep eternally, under mountain, under stone…." He lingered as the whole room repeated untied a thundering...

"UNDER MOUNTAIN, UNDER STONE."

"…forever proud of fighting courageously next to your comrades against the dark forces that roam these lands since Durin first walked this earth. Stand tall amongst your forefathers and help them rebuild the old kingdoms under Vala Aule's command. Even though you shall be solemnly missed by your close friends and family, we know that you rest well, son of Durin. Your bravery shall be forever carved on stone and written in the scrolls of our Elders. You shall never be forgotten." Then his voice broke. "Khaz torah rar azamar"** When he spoke those solemn words he kneeled respectfully in front of the grave.

The lament began again as he remained there with his eyes streaming and his heart aching. When he managed to pull himself up with difficulty his hand grasped Kili's cold one and a shuddering exhalation of defeat escaped his mouth. Then his brows furrowed as he felt the roundness of the stone under his fingers and he opened his bloodshot eyes to see the moonstone. The one that Dis had given to her son before they left for this unexpected journey. The one Kili gave to the She-elf. His lips pressed and his brows creased tightly as his fingers took the stone from Kili's stiff digits and tucked it deep into his palm.

When he returned next to his sister he felt empty and ready to collapse and yet he didn't. He remained as tall and commanding as ever, looking at Kili while four soldiers picked him up respectfully and placed him inside the stony tomb. When the lid was put in place his eyes veiled with the finality of it all. He could feel Dwalin touching shoulders with him, ready to steady him if needed. He could feel Balin's eyes burning his back and he felt Dis trembling next to him, but he was reduced only to silent tears. When the burial was mercifully over he preceded all of them, allowing Dis to be helped by Fili and Fain's daughters, to the grant dining hall where there was an honorary feast ready for the family and close friends of the deceased. The common people and Dain's soldiers retreated silently to their homes.

His body attended that dinner, but his mind was gone. He sat there next to his sister and Dain, patiently waiting for the dinner to be served and he didn't touch it. He tried to engage the polite conversations of Bard, Bilbo and Dori, but failed. He made an effort to join the camaraderie of Dain, Dwalin, Gloin and Nori, but gave up after a few words. He vaguely remembered Bofur asking if he could take Eilin at their table to give her a break, to which he agreed with a broken nod of disinterest. He heard the constant jabber of the daughters of Fain and offered his sister many despondent looks, which she avoided by closing her eyes. After a time he gave up completely on everyone. He just leaned back and shut his eyes, feeling his throat closed tight from a tension he never truly released not wanting to acknowledge to anyone that his head was aching, his eyes were burning and his soul was being torn apart.

When dinner was over he escorted his sister back to her rooms and denied thrice the company of Dwalin, Balin and Bilbo. He escaped up at the bastions for half the night and at the burial vaults for the other half. The morning found him snoring away all his fatigue till the afternoon and then avoiding as much to be around people as humanly possible for his commanding position in Erebor. The worried looks of Balin and Dwalin didn't ruffle his feathers, neither did the insistence of Bilbo nor the bleak outline of his maiden who kept watching him from the shadows. Three days passed like that with him haunting the isolated areas of Erebor and the vaults. Barely talking to anyone and drowning his sorrow in mead without telling anyone that he was attempting new alcohol consumption records while he was barely eating anything.

* * *

The fourth day found him in his sister's room after having another drunken session to make himself forget. It was the first evening after burying Kili that he decided to seek someone's company, but it didn't end well. Dis was even more withdrawn and encased in darkness than him. After entering her room and trying to talk to her, they ended up in cold silence which drew them straight into the night. Neither wanted to talk to the other, but neither was making an attempt to leave either. It was his defeated final attempt to approach her that set the demons loose in an explosion he should have expected long ago and came delayed, but with a vengeance strong enough to break him.

"Dis please look at me." He begged.

"I lost my son." She stammered and grasped her temples, unable to come to terms with the reality of her situation.

"Don't do this..." He made an attempt to approach her.

"I LOST MY SON! DAMN YOU THORIN!" She turned at him furiously, her hair coming undone under the blaze of her emotions.

He touched her shoulder softly and felt silent tears again, even though his heart was raging. "Please gerbil." -His voice pleaded- "I hurt as much as you do."

Her eyes spat fire on him. "NO YOU DON'T…."

He grabbed her upper arm then and shook her. "I do ... I raised the boy like a father...listen to me..."

Her face broke then and all the wrath vanished under a wave of desolation that tore his heart out of his chest. "How can I live like this Thorin? I can't…"

He pulled her close and she pushed him away and turned her back to him. "Don't touch me! I have so much anger towards you at this moment!" She hissed.

He didn't allow her the space she demanded. He pulled her onto his body and her back crushed on his torso causing him to groan loud enough to give her pause as it vaguely reminded her his mortal wound. "I have always been here for you. I will continue to be here for you, no matter how many times you might try to push me away."

She wrapped her arms around her stomach and doubled over with a wail that tore through the corridors of the sleeping Erebor. "I hate you for what you have done to me Thorin!" She howled.

"I am so sorry." He whispered and let her kneel down without removing her from his arms. He kneeled behind her, wrapping his enormous frame around her and allowed her to sob her pain away.

He leaned his forehead on the back of her head and rocked her gently. "Please forgive me for taking him away from you. Forgive me because I can never forgive myself."

Her arms came up and grabbed his forearms tightly. Her nails almost broke through his skin relating to him a clear message, which he longed to feel so much. "I love you..."

"Me too...more than life." He reassured her with a gentle kiss on the back of her head. He cradled her quietly as the sentinels outside her doors changed shifts and the rest of Erebor fell asleep. He kept murmuring words of comfort in her ear for a long time and only when her eyes were dry did he pull slightly back.

She animated and her fingers twisted around his sleeves, keeping a good hold of him. "Don't leave." She whispered.

He butted her shoulder. "I am not leaving, but you need to get in bed. You are shivering."

She nodded now blessedly empty from crying so hard and so long, unaware of the tornado that was boiling inside Thorin all this time. Even though she had found a way to vent her emotions, his remained dangerously trapped. She reassured him that she was going to be alright in the bathroom on her own. When she finished and came out with all her hair loose from her braids and down to her waist, he smiled sadly at her image.

"You haven't changed one bit" -He murmured wistfully and then looked at the bed- "Now come on, get in!"

She lay on it thankful that he was there and closed her eyes before he pulled the heavy quilt under her chin.

"Stay till I sleep." She whispered truly exhausted.

He caressed her hair gently. "I will."

She exhaled in relief and her nails dug in the skin of his palm. "I cannot bare to lose you and Fili. Promise me that nothing will happen to either of you."

He gave a grim nod at the window and his jawline tightened. If he tried hard enough he was able to hear the strong rainfall outside. "Nothing will happen gerbil, now sleep." His voice was hoarse.

"Promise me!" She gritted her teeth.

He leaned over and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. Then he rested his forehead on her temple and nodded. "I promise…sleep."

With that he felt her body deflating and remained there caressing her softly until her breath became steady. Then he turned off the lamp on her side table and made sure Dis was warm and comfortable. As the hard rainfall soaked the lands, he stood in front of her window overlooking gloomily the valley in front of Erebor and the only fire that was burning at Dale's Bell Tower. The soft sounds of deep sleep from Dis were not enough to cool down the fire her cries had awoken in his heart before. A fire that started when the lid of Kili's coffin was sealed and was burning more fierce with each passing day.

He remained silently brewing in deep darkness, feeling wrathful towards their family's grim fate for a long time. When suddenly his heart snapped like a twig in the dead of night under all the gathered pressure, he knew that nothing could stop him. Not the heavy weather beating the land mercilessly outside. Not his wound that was complaining constantly, not that maiden outside his sister's door who asked him what he needed the moment he stormed out. He marched at the stables, saddled his horse and dashed out in the rain with only one thing in mind. To empty his soul in any way possible or else he was certain he was going to lose his mind.

* * *

Eilin looked out at the heavy rain as the sentinels lifted their torches, barely catching a glimpse of his dark horse speeding down the main road. She moaned in frustration and her fists clenched. There he went and did it again and this time he didn't have his trusty bodyguard with him. He was alone like he had been back at Ravenhill. She remembered how she lost him that night at the hot springs and instantly decided not to make the same mistake twice. Hadn't she perchance followed him into a rainy darkness before? His dismissive voice when he told her to get out of the way didn't manage to deter her, not even for a single moment. He thought that she was there only to serve his sister, didn't he? Well, she was going to prove that she was equally loyal to him, if she hadn't done that already. She stomped her foot down irritated and looked at the small ponies of the guards. "Can I borrow one?" She asked courageously. She was not going to lose his tracks tonight...no! She was his maiden and tonight she was going to make him believe it!

The guard looked at her bewildered under his heavy helmet. Her small stature and her hairless face were not telling of the courage she was showing at that moment. The guard shook his head. "Sure, but I want her back unharmed!" He said when he didn't see her backing away.

"I'll take care of her, don't worry." She mounted the pony quickly and kicked its flanks forgetting that she was not wearing anything to protect her from the cold, but her service clothes.

"Her name is Ain!" The guard yelled after her.

She lifted her hand in acknowledgment and pressed the pony hard. She couldn't see a sign of the King, therefore she had to rely on tracking his horse's hooves as quickly as she could before the rain erased them from the muddy ground.

* * *

Thorin's left arm dropped defeated at his side and he looked at the tree he had been hacking vexed beyond count. The rain cascaded in steady rivulets down the lines of worry the years had etched on his handsome face and his tears mingled with them. He lifted his left arm with a groan of suffering that was lost in the wilderness of the forest and tightened his jawline. His body undertook a smooth attack he knew how to perform in perfection and his left arm drove the axe deep into the bark of the tree. The strong vibration tore through his wound like a fresh sword and he cried out in anguish which was both physical and emotional. His right hand enveloped his stomach protectively and he felt his knees buckling. He tried to breathe deeply, but each breath expanded his already bruised torso and that felt like torture. His breathing was shallow and urged him to let all this madness go and give himself a break, but he didn't want to give up. He didn't even remember how long he had been standing there wielding the random war axe he found at the stables on this poor tree with the wounded side of his body. Emptying all his emotions upon that bark with a wrath that bordered to insanity.

Feeling more angry and despondent with each useless hack he drove himself further into exhaustion and pain. He raised his left arm again with a moan of pain and fed his anger by images of how he used to be, of his family's peak in Erebor, of Kili being alive and of Siv…..of Siv smiling at him with the hope of their true love one day becoming official... and each image send adrenaline rushing through his veins and raised his pained arm again and again in a desperate need to bring down the tree, as if that would be the solution to all his problems. The axe fell repeatedly, but each strike became weaker and weaker until he couldn't even lift it anymore.

"STOP IT!" The unexpected voice startled him and when he swished around, his mouth twitched in confusion at seeing his maiden alighting her pony and running at him with an urgency that numbed him.

He felt the heaviness of the axe almost unbearable. His knees buckled and he kneeled on the ground defeated.

"For Mahal's sake what are you trying to do to yourself!" She exclaimed and kneeled quickly in front of him.

He found himself unable to speak or take his eyes away from this woman. Her desperate hands flew to his heavy buckle and undid it with an imperativeness he couldn't find the strength to argue against. She threw his vest open and her hand got buried under it and covered his bandage with a protectiveness that made him inhale sharply. His hand opened up and the axe fell with a muted thumb on the wet ground.

"I knew I shouldn't have left you alone since the day of the funeral! Why are you doing this to yourself?!" Her green eyes asked him with the same intensity that her voice was betraying, forgetting any kind of formalities in view of his wretched state.

His hand flew above hers with the intention of tearing it away from his body, but the softness of her skin under his palm and the decisiveness with which she had approached him, gave him pause and she felt it.

"Let me help you, please." She tried again.

His azure eyes seared into her very soul and he opened his mouth to speak, but found that no words were coming out. His tight fingers softened above hers and instead of drawing her hand away, he pushed it on his wound almost with hatred. His groan rumbled through her skin and tore tears from her eyes. His head bowed and his eyes closed.

"Don't do this, let me help you." Her soft voice found him once more with a gentleness that made his heart complain mildly against it.

A small improbable smile broke at the side of his lips and he shook his head. "Eilin Firebeard follows me into the wild darkness once more?"

Her fingers tightened around his wound firmly. "I am as loyal to you as I am to your sister my Lord, even though you might not believe it."

He felt a wide load of his tension dissipating to the wet ground under his knees. "Trying to prove yourself worthy young lady? There is no need." He whispered.

"I am actually trying to help you." Her eyes were burning the top of his head.

"Are you now?" He looked up and she saw his exhaustion.

She nodded eagerly.

"Do you think you are helping me right now?" He asked with a frown and his hand tightened around hers making the muscles of her stomach taut.

"I am trying Sir. I am doing my best, but you disconcert me. I don't know if I am doing the right thing..." Her voice sounded as uncertain as her words were.

"You are helping, more than you think." He felt his lips upturning in a ghostly smile.

She exhaled a whole bout of unease and lowered her eyes. "I almost didn't make it out here, so you'd know. You almost ran over me with your horse..." She informed him feeling his acceptance elating her heart.

He chuckled. "Did I fail to do you in?"

She looked up shocked.

"I'll aim better next time, promise." He raised his brows.

Her silence was almost deafening.

"I am only joking." He closed his eyes and shook his head.

Her mouth closed up with an audible click and her intense eyes withdrew from him quickly. "Sorry Sir, I am not used to taking in jokes very well." She sounded regretful.

He frowned silently.

"Most of the times jokes like these ended up becoming a reality for me in the past, Sir." She hurried to explain.

He felt his back rippling with apprehension. "I am sorry for making such an inappropriate joke at you Eilin, I was not aware."

"It's okay Sir." She smiled.

He raised his brow. "Were these threats delivered by my kin?"

She shook her head. "No."

He frowned. "Were you unfortunate enough to come across such incidents more than once?"

"So many that I cannot remember anymore." Her voice fell.

His expression darkened. "I am sorry."

She felt her back rippling with waves of gratefulness and her stomach exploded with a warmth she had never felt before. Her eyes seared into his and her fingers moved protectively above his bandage as time stood absolutely still around them. Then her free hand came shyly up and cupped his with a gentleness that sucked all the air out of his lungs.

"I am fine Sir. A King shouldn't worry about a maiden." Her words and her smile were both encouraging.

The tenderness with which this girl had approached him during this forlorn night didn't leave him unaffected and if it wasn't for the strong rumble of a thunder they wouldn't have pulled away from each other quickly.

She fell back and landed on her behind with a yelp of fear and he sat on his calves.

"Shit!" She cursed.

He raised his brow sternly.

She cupped her mouth feeling abhorred. "I am so sorry Sir! That came out of nowhere!"

"Don't let my etiquette-borderline-lunatic advisor catch you with those phrases or you'll be in serious trouble. Unless my sister finds them out sooner." He was only half serious and of course she missed the tease once more.

"I am so sorry." She muttered, feeling rather flustered.

"It's okay. Now we share a secret each." He raised his brow.

She frowned.

"You know about my nightmares and I know about your inappropriate use of language." His lips cracked a lopsided smile.

She reciprocated timidly. "I suppose we do, Sir."

"I won't say anything if you don't." He continued with the same partially playful tone.

"I won't!" She was quick to respond and he laughed openly at her enthusiasm.

After all that emotional turmoil of Kili's funeral he found himself more than willing to loosen up under her awkwardness. She felt like good ale running down his throat, warming his extremities. "Eager as always…" He whispered and tried to push himself up.

She offered her hand. "Shall I help you, Sir?"

He waved her away. "I can manage."

She cringed and gazed around her apprehensively. "So you think maybe we should return to Erebor?"

He looked around also and his lips twisted. "Too dark and menacing for you?"

She flicked her shoulders. "A little."

He offered her a quick nod. "Come on." -He said and walked towards their horses. Then in afterthought he looked above his shoulder at her- "It must have taken a lot of courage to come after me in this wilderness." He noticed and pulled his heavy coat from the horse's back.

"Not really, it was just an instinctive need to protect the one I serve." She said nonchalantly.

His lips turned down sadly. "This has been a very hard day and it must end. Mount up and let's go."

"What is this place anyway sir, if you don't mind me asking." She went to her pony.

He raised his tired eyes at her. "The old royal training grounds."

She looked around her mesmerised. "It looks…"

"…abandoned for more than a century. I am surprised the pillars are still standing. Dwalin did a great job at raising them."

She smiled and averted her eyes, suddenly embarrassed for no reason.

He noticed that she was visibly trembling and only then did he realise how underdressed she was for this harsh weather. "Come here." His hand called her over.

She approached carefully.

He offered her his coat with a deep sigh. "Here." Nevertheless she didn't make a move towards it.

"I can't take it sir. You need it more than I do." She rejoined and he felt a rare spark of protectiveness, he hadn't felt in ages, igniting in him. He observed her worried face streaming with rain and her wet hair sticking at the side of her rosy cheeks. Then his gaze escaped down to her waist were her long red mane was covering her forearms.

Without any thought of propriety -as this evening it seemed to have flown away from him- he reached out and took her frozen hand. Then he placed the coat firmly in her palm. "Don't make this more complicated than it is already becoming." He whispered and averted his eyes from her.

She closed her mouth and swallowed heavily.

"Wear it and let's go." He said and got busy tying down his ropes as her soft steps walked away from him. He exhaled in relief and leaned his forehead on his saddle needing to gather himself only for a moment.

"Come on Ain." Her voice made him look up at her. His coat was pooling at the muddy ground and looked like a blanket around her body. She mounted her pony with some difficulty because of the weight of his wet coat and looked back at him.

He felt the edge of his lips toying an uncertain smile and pulled himself up. "Ain?" He asked and urged his horse to gallop up to hers.

She gazed at him. "The guard told me her name. She is a rather exceptional animal and brave, don't you think? She rode fiercely through rain and wind with no hesitations whatsoever for such a small girl."

He smiled at her glowing expression when she looked at the small horse. "Much like yourself then."

She looked up at him shocked. "Myself?"

"Exceptional indeed." He deducted quietly and urged his stallion forth while she mused at him with her lips slightly parted for several moments before deciding to follow him.

Their pace back to Erebor was set by her pony and he didn't try to lead. Instead he allowed his horse to walk quietly next to hers as they decided to remain in comfortable silence. When they reached the gates he gave his horse to one of the guards to lead it down to the stables and she gave Ain back to a very grateful guard who tried to avoid looking at the maiden wearing the King's coat.

Thorin walked back to his room and she followed quietly without even thinking of taking off his coat or going to her rooms. It seemed inevitable that she was going to see him to his bed no matter his own wishes. When the door closed behind them she remained next to it with her eyes cast to the floor. There in the safety and the warmth of his domain she felt the courage that had overflowed her at the forest, fading away.

"Know that your empathy and kindness were not lost in me tonight, Eilin Firebeard." He said after a few silent moments.

She felt her eyes watering suddenly. "My honour to assist you, Sir."

"Once more." He said thoughtfully

"As many times as you need." She retorted steadily.

He nodded reflectively. "More and more am I able to witness what it is my sister saw in you young lady. Thank you for risking your life tonight to help me."

She shook her head and wiped the tears his thoughtful words evoked, away. "I would have done the same for your sister my King."

"Of that I am certain." He smiled softly.

She slowly took off his heavy coat and placed it on a spare chair. Then her hands wiped away the wetness that still dribbled down her face from the downpour outside. "Shall I bring you something to eat, Sir?"

He drew his eyes away from her with difficulty. "No, but you can help me change my wound, but first you will pour me a cup of ale. It's at the side table."

She did as she was told and tried hard not to look at him as he took off his vest and tunic. Suddenly the same feeling of hyperventilation and quick heartbeat she had felt at the forest returned a thousandfold. She served him a cup and brought it over. "Here you are Sir." She curtsied.

His hand reached out to take it, but hesitated momentarily. Then as if changing his mind he took the bottle from her other hand and pushed the cup away. "This is for you. Drink it, you are freezing." His voice sounded gentle and it was meant so in order to calm her down, but he managed quite the opposite.

"Drink while I am on duty Sir? No of course not..." She hurried to place the cup down somewhere, but his grave voice stopped her.

"Drink it, that's an order. I won't send you back to Dis with blue lips." He said and gulped down the contents of the bottle.

Prior to all this, drinking alcohol in front of the King would have sounded ridiculous if not dangerous to her, but right at this moment, under his blessings she tasted the ale once before emptying the whole cup down, feeling her frozen extremities trembling beyond control. Thankful she felt for any kind of warmth it could provide her with...or any thread of courage. "Thank you, my Lord." She forced herself not to smile too widely.

Thorin wiped his mouth from the drink and gave her back the empty bottle. Then he undid his wet bandage and looked down at his wound expecting to see it bloody and open in places, but saw nothing more than the ugly scar.

"Shall I do your back, Sir?" Her eyes fluttered as she felt a sudden wave of dizziness coming over.

Her voice made him cringe and he looked up at her. He shook his head dismissively. "No, tonight you will do the whole thing yourself, young lady. I am too messed up to help you."

He saw her going for the ointment, but the heat of the room had enhanced his own dizziness. Feeling empty of all tension after his turbulent explosion at the training grounds and the generous session of her comforting attempts he simply closed his eyes intending to do absolutely nothing to help her. She knew how to do this well, she wanted to assist him, so he was easy on letting work alone. A small smile appeared on his lips as she approached, but this time something was different. He felt the hesitation across him and he cracked his eyes open slightly to see her wavering. "What's wrong?"

Her lips parted as her eyes were gazing at his stomach with dread. "I don't think I can help you, Sir...I ...I..." Her voice cracked with an unbidden sob and suddenly her frozen fingers reached out and grabbed his forearm for support.

He tensed immediately. "What do you mean?"

"I don't think I feel so good, my Lord." She stammered.

"What?" He had barely asked the question, when she fainted right there in front of his feet.

Then it was just him looking down at her stupidly. "Oh, great. Just great." He bit through his teeth.

He took the remaining alcohol and splattered it on his hands. Then he kneeled next to her and rubbed it on her cheeks. "Come on, wake up." His large palm cupped the side of her face and he frowned at how small her head looked in comparison to his hand. He checked on her pulse and making sure that she was alright he picked her up with great difficulty and carried her to the recliner that was next to the door.

When he leaned her gently down he observed that her neck was twisted abnormally because her long hair were trapped behind her back. The image of Siv's broken neck flashed so quickly before his eyes that he grabbed his head and groaned in hot objection. It took him several moments to return his eyes on Eilin and quickly he released her trapped hair and let them fall to the floor.

"I am going to drive myself crazy…" He muttered and and sat down next to her. His hesitation to touch her the second time was much more intense and when he finally began rubbing what remained of the ale on the inside of her elbows and neck he felt that their situation was becoming absolutely absurd.

The soft knock on his door sent shivers of apprehension down his spine. "Oh, hell..." He looked up quickly.

The door opened up slightly and Bilbo peeped in. "It's me. Are you awake?"

He closed his eyes relieved. "Yes, unfortunately."

"I couldn't sleep, may I come in?"

Thorin raised his brow. "You are already in." He rejoined and gazed despondently at Eilin.

Bilbo entered and closed the door behind him. Then he looked at the weird scene in front of him. The unconscious girl at the recliner and a half naked Thorin above her and he inhaled sharply. "Oh…I think I …I came at a wrong time then? Shall I…you know… go?" He pointed at the door eagerly.

Thorin pursed his lips sourly. "Don't be ridiculous Bilbo. She fainted just as she was helping me change my wound and I cannot get her to wake up."

Bilbo touched his chest in relief and closed his eyes. "Oh, thank heavens! I thought I caught you in the midst of heat."

Thorin raised his brow at the ceiling and looked at Bilbo moodily. "Really now?"

Bilbo pressed his lips. "Stupid of me, I know."

Thorin humphed and stood up. The need to do anything than sit half naked above this girl was immense. "If I was in the midst of heat the door would have been locked my dear Bilbo, believe me."

Bilbo approached Eilin and slapped her gently. "So what did you do to her to cause her this..."

Thorin looked up sharply and placed his hands on his waist not knowing what to do with himself at that moment. "I assure you nothing!"

Bilbo giggled. "You look like a dwarfling caught with his hand in the candy jar even though you declare the opposite."

Thorin's eyes thinned and so did his lips. "I am not in the mood to be teased." He warned.

Bilbo didn't seem to care so much. "And there I thought that Dwarves were made out of stone when it concerned women. It doesn't look like that now!" He smirked knowingly.

Thorin tied a fresh bandage as best as he could around himself and put on a dry tunic. "You are truly out to piss me off, aren't you?"

Bilbo sat next to the girl and unscrewed a small bottle of mead he was carrying. "I don't want to piss you off, but everyone thinks that Dwarves are very cold towards their females. Of course one knows these are probably fables, but one cannot deny they are sometimes enjoyable." He placed the bottle under Eilin's nose.

"Do enlighten me of these delightful stories." Thorin pursed his lips.

"Of course you have heard of them yourself. Dwarves rarely get married, they don't mate and they are not born from wombs, but from stone…so their hearts are made out of stone and to..." Bilbo said.

"…to stone they shall return when they die, yes yes…" Thorin waved him off.

Bilbo chuckled. "I don't see anything stone-like from you now in view of this dwarrowdam's distress..." He noticed.

"These stories that are spread about my kin from those elvish sissies, must come to an end. I don't find them amusing at all." He sounded cross.

"Nevertheless they are partly true. You people don't marry often." Bilbo took Eilin's hand and began rubbing it gently as she began coming to.

Thorin looked at her fluttering eyelids and sighed. "Maybe things ran deeper than some people imagine."

Bilbo raised his brow. "What do you mean?"

Thorin's eyes were reflective. "Master Baggins the world thinks that Dwarves are born from stone and to stone they must return. Shall we let them believe that or tell them the truth? That we love only once and it lasts forever and do you believe that is a blessing or a curse?"

Bilbo cringed. "So bad, is it?"

Thorin nodded. "If our love is not answered or we befall in unfortunate circumstances then we are usually doomed to a life of loneliness, thus the rarity of marriages in my kin." His voice turned almost choleric.

"That sounds awful." Bilbo rejoined with a heavy frown.

Thorin shook his head. "It is the most tormenting curse anyone can go through." He spat with sudden fury that crawled all over his skin. His knuckles flexed almost painfully and he didn't withdraw his glowering eyes from his friend until the soft voice of Eilin sucked the affliction away from him in an almost magical manner.

"Did I faint again?" She looked around her confused.

Thorin inhaled deeply and drew back, only then realising how much he had darkened back there towards Bilbo.

With a final look of worry at Thorin, Bilbo turned to her. "Again? You mean this has happened to you before?"

She nodded and pushed herself up feeling lightheaded. "It happens sometimes."

"And you never thought of informing me about that small problem beforehand..." Thorin said still feeling the aftershocks of what had taken place.

She looked at him and bowed. "I am sorry it happened in front of your Majesty."

Bilbo cringed. "Don't scare her...look at the poor girl, she is trying to get a grip."

Thorin crossed his arms and his lips ghosted a smile. "Do you feel better?"

His eyes felt kind and considerate and that warmed her up inside. "Yes, definitely better my Lord."

"Maybe that drink made you worse?" An afterthought made Thorin's brow wrinkle.

She pursed her lips regretfully. "Sometimes alcohol tends to intensify my fainting spells, my Lord."

"You really should've warned me." He pursed his lips sternly.

"I am sorry." She looked downcast.

Thorin offered her a prolonged mystical look before saying something totally unexpected. "So, you want another drink?"

She inhaled sharply.

Bilbo raised his brows up to his hairline. "Want to make her faint again?" He asked the King.

"She looked rather peaceful whilst out and I want to see a repetition. When she is awake she is an awkward bundle of nervousness and instant regret." Thorin's eyes remained on her way too long.

She opened up her mouth and then closed it, not knowing what to say.

Bilbo chuckled. "Stop winding her up..."

"Are you teasing me again, Sir?" She frowned in disbelief.

Thorin smirked. "Most certainly."

Bilbo's mouth formed a surprised half smile. "Right! Now I really feel I am unwanted and I should go..." He pointed towards the door.

Eilin looked at him shocked. "Of course not Sir. It's just that the King sometimes likes to joke around me. I think he finds my lack of humour funny."

Thorin shook his head. "I just enjoy your awkwardness, Eilin Firebeard. Maybe a little too much because of the ale, but I mean no harm rest assured."

Bilbo looked at her with a clever smile. "He's just poking you to get a reaction. He's got that tendency when he likes someone."

Thorin's brow rose and Eilin's mouth dropped open at that. "No matter how delightful this conversation has been for me, I must admit that it's time for us to part ways because it is becoming totally ridiculous from all of us, no exceptions made."

Bilbo stood up immediately. "Told you I had to leave! Now I am off to sleep."

Thorin raised his hand at him. "Not you..." -then he turned to Eilin- "It's this young lady that needs to withdraw."

She felt her stomach dropping in mild objection to her dismissal without understanding why. Did she actually want to remain with him? "Shall I help you with anything else before I retire, my Lord?"

He shook his head. "No, tonight you've acted far above your duty once again. Rest well."

She bend the knee and averted her eyes. "Goodnight your Majesty." Then she walked to the door, but his voice stopped her.

"Thank you for everything that you did." He said solemnly.

Her head turned slightly above her shoulder. "It was my pleasure, Sir." With that she opened the door and got lost into the darkness.

When the door closed it took them a few moments to speak again and Bilbo's dreamy voice made Thorin's azure eyes look up thoughtfully. "You do know there is a certain back and forth going on between you and this girl, don't you?"

He tilted his head in a silent question.

Bilbo stood up and cleared his throat. Then he marched up to Thorin thoughtfully and locked his thumbs at the armpits of his vest. "This thing between you and her... it looks vaguely like courting, you know…" He pointed at the door.

"That was me being polite to a woman who did something remarkable for me tonight." Thorin rebuked.

"Remarkable?" Bilbo frowned and Thorin inhaled deeply as he explained what happened tonight between them.

When he finished Bilbo shook his head in understanding. "Remarkable indeed and as you said far above her duties, nevertheless my friend I felt something between you that is not subliminal and forgive me for being so forthcoming."

Thorin fixed his beautiful eyes on Bilbo. "That is just poor interpretation of a totally innocent conversation." He smiled.

"Maybe I am not the one who is misreading things, but you..." Bilbo reasoned casually.

"If you think I've got the time to think about romance in the midst of hell then you are heavily disillusioned my friend." Thorin dismissed him.

"Time you may have not, but how about will?" Bilbo raised his brow at him.

"Will?" He frowned gravely.

"You've said that Dwarves only love once and it lasts forever. Maybe this is your once and forever." He flicked his shoulders playfully intending this as a light hearted tease, but he was unaware how close to home he was for comfort.

"No it is not." Thorin's back crawled.

"Why?" Bilbo continued down that playful path without expecting the haunting answer that came next from his friend.

"Because my once and forever has come and gone in a pile of rust and is now buried under a cold grave Bilbo. We'd better change the subject."

Bilbo's face fell in shock and his mouth slacked open. He didn't know what to answer to that and Thorin mercifully took him out of his misery.

"You've outwitted Smaug, yet I render you speechless?"

Bilbo swallowed heavily. "Smaug never broke my heart so unexpectedly."

Thorin inhaled and pointed at Bilbo's bottle. "Pour one for each, if there is any left and sit by the fire. Let's warm up and then rest. I tried to stay awake as long as I could, but I cannot anymore. I just cannot..." He sounded defeated emotionally and physically. Within a few moments his playfully carefree attitude became heavy and drew down Bilbo with him.

The last exchange of words between them was when Bilbo asked "What happened? Was it long ago?"

"Too faded away by centuries to be remembered, yet too vivid to ever forget." Thorin whispered and twirled the elegant glass with the amber liquid with his long fingers.

"How come I've never heard of this before?" Bilbo frowned.

"Few know." Thorin felt his eyes dozing off without him intending to sleep.

"Your family I suppose and…"

Thorin spoke over him. "...what remains of my family knows nothing."

Bilbo's mouth dropped open and he was at a loss for words.

Thorin's mouth offered him a small sad smile. "Let us retire my friend, because I am at the end of my tether tonight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** our souls are forever joined
> 
> -I am sorry for burying Kili for those of you that loved him -I loved him too- :'( This was a particularly hard chapter for me.


	16. Will you marry me?

" _How the hell did you get your hand messed up so bad?" Dis looked at his bandaged hand. The purple colour of the bruising in his palm had extended past his wrist to the middle of his forearm._

" _Training", he looked away._

" _Dwalin told us what happened this morning," Frerin crossed his arms._

" _So you know, what's the point of an interrogation?" He looked up annoyed._

" _Your ferocity is the point. Dwalin said that you were unstoppable. You grabbed the mace with your bare hand and pushed him and it several feet in the air. His weapon and his forearm broke," Frerin frowned and Dis looked at him worriedly._

" _That is our fighting style," he dismissed his little brother._

" _No, it's not," Frerin leaned close, "you maybe harder on him than on me, but you are never so violent. You can both control yourselves so that neither gets hurt."_

" _We do," Thorin's stern look did little to discourage his brother._

" _You didn't this time and that worries me," Frerin looked back at Dis, "not only me, but Dis and Dwalin also."_

_Thorin cupped his forehead, "it was a small loss of control on my behalf. I will figure things out with Dwalin, stay out of this."_

_Frerin crossed his arms patiently, "We are not here to interfere in your friendship with the grim reaper of Erebor," Dis snorted under her palm and Thorin's eyes fell on her crossly, "don't look at her like that. We are here because we are worried Thorin. This isn't just about today. This is about you the last three months"_

_He felt the blood draining from his face, "During which, I've been training like an animal…."_

_Frerin raised his finger to intercept him, "….burying yourself in the library when you are not smashing war hammers with your bare palm, forging the life out of every sword in the kingdom and prefer to study calligraphy alone instead of spending time with us. What is going on brother?"_

_Thorin inhaled deeply, "I don't know. What do you want me to say…"_

" _The truth. What is it that ails you so bad?" Dis frowned and embraced him gently from the back._

_He felt his heart mellowing and he released a sigh, "Just me and Thrain clashing our horns", he tried to brush off their genial concern with any shallow excuse he could find. He found it impossible to unravel how his two year love story with Siv ended. He had kept his relationship a secret from everyone apart from Dwalin and eventually his father, mostly in need to protect Siv's privacy and honour, until he could wed her and make it official. He wasn't going to undo that now and stain her memory._

_Frerin twisted his head testily, but his face softened a little, "Dad is freaking you out again?"_

_Dis pressed her lips, "he always does that to him. Remember how he never allowed him to join when grandfather used to play with us?"_

_Frerin looked down and nodded._

" _What did he used to tell you Thorin?" She pinched his cheek._

_He pushed her hand away bothered, "stern majesty Thorin, always stern majesty!" He mimicked their father's voice._

_Dis giggled and Frerin smiled, "keep your back straight," he pulled Thorin's shoulders,"eyes looking past everyone else at the back wall, cold and derisive," Frerin's hands steadied his head up, "lips thin and lofty. Haughtiness Thorin runs in your blood!" Frerin's fingers pulled the sides of his mouth to fix the lofty lips, but his brother pushed him away, "stand back you idiot."_

_Frerin laughed genially, "now that's better. See Dis? I think we can fix up his mood. What eludes me is why it took us so long to try it…"_

" _Close this silly book and come outside with us Thorin!" Dis fell on his back and squeezed his shoulders playfully._

" _Not now gerbil," he tried to shake her off._

" _I swear he is becoming a grumpy old man even though he is only sixty," she turned at Frerin._

" _She's right you know. Stop this self induced seclusion and come with us. Aren't you tired of running after Thrain?" Frerin fell on his sister's back and Thorin humphed._

" _Don't forget that he has to run after Thror also. He's become some sort of male nanny to grandpa" Dis chuckled, "haven't you, my big kingly brother, yes my brooding sweetheart," she pinched his cheeks._

_He shook his head to get her off, "gerbil enough!" He warned._

" _nah, nah, nah, today you are coming with us at Dale no matter what. Don't make me burn this book!" Dis drew it from under him and shuffled through it's pages, "I don't understand really. Does dad expect you to learn all this by heart?"_

_Thorin rubbed his eyes and yawned, "he didn't say these exact words, but he wouldn't say no if I did either"._

" _I bet," Dis looked up at Frerin playfully and the younger brother raised his brow in confusion._

" _How far will it land?" She whispered._

_Frerin looked at the long corridor of the north eastern library chamber, "meh, three tables? it's bloody heavy"_

" _Don't you dare!" Thorin made to get up and Dis screeched and threw it away before her huge older brother reached her._

_Thorin exhaled and placed his hands on his thick leather belt, "clever much?"_

_Dis approached and started playing with the strings of his tunic that were undone, "come on Thorin, I'll take you to that music shop at the entrance of Dale…." Her voice pleaded in a singsong manner._

_He raised his brow._

" _Ah…keep it up sis, I think we got a fish in the nets", Frerin laughed and picked up the heavy book._

" _Remember that golden harp you liked so much, but never got around to buying?" She flicked her eyebrow at him._

_"Of course, but what's the occasion?"_

" _Your birthday is coming up silly. Me and Frerin are going to buy it for you and we need to make sure it is the one you want. You might need to try it out, to make sure it works just fine, you know?" She said casually and tightened the strings of his tunic making a small bow out of them._

_He waved her hands away and untied it, "I don't want to play any music"._

_Her face fell and she looked worriedly at Frerin, "Yep, that's right. You've also stopped playing music."_

" _The books of the Elders are going to swallow you and then exert your remains in this very chair. You've had your nose hidden between the pages of Mazarbul long enough," Dis dismissed him._

" _I also need someone to train with me again brother. I miss that," Frerin added meaningfully._

_Thorin showed him his wounded palm, "remember my brutality? Do you want me to get violent on you this time little brother?"_

_Frerin scrounged his nose, "you'd never do that with me, but even if you did I can hold my own against you. Worry not. Challenge me….it would do us both a world of good. None other trains me as hard as you apart from dad and lately he is in a peculiar mood also."_

_A dark shadow passed Thorin's brow, "fine we'll train tomorrow morning after breakfast."_

" _Good, but that won't be enough to send us out of here. Today you are coming with us…" Frerin raised a warning finger._

" _You are paling down here. Without the sun to burn your skin all the lovely ladies that pine after you are going to find another candidate…" she swished her shoulders playfully and winked at him._

_He felt his stomach revolting suddenly and his cheeks paled._

" _Look at his face dropping even at the idea of marriage. Dis stop teasing him," Frerin laughed._

" _Frerin is going to get all the good ones," she winked at him._

_Thorin's face darkened by degrees and he took the heavy book from Frerin's hands angrily, "I hope he does, then maybe you can get off my back with all this nonsense."_

_Dis pursed her lips and grabbed his shoulders again, "I am only teasing, you know that. Now, will you come out with us to the music shop. Pretty please?"_

_He placed the book at the table and his large hand enveloped Dis's tenderly, "is it that important for you?"_

" _For me and for Frerin too," she said with a sweet smile he missed._

" _I am coming then," he patted her hand._

" _Perfect! Now let's go get the ladies. It will take only a single smile from you and you'll end up with more than twenty flower crowns…." Frerin winked at him._

_He felt his throat drying out and tried to hide his face from his siblings, "I thought she was the one with the teenage hormones and that you've escaped that awkward stage brother."_

" _Well, I have!" Frerin roared proudly._

" _Doesn't look that way," Thorin raised his brow almost playfully. Their lighthearted attitudes was beginning to rub off on him. Maybe today he could afford to be a little less broody, right?_

" _Hey hey hey, be careful because I am almost the same height as you now. You cannot overpower me so easily!" Frerin warned._

_Thorin smirked, "I won't even try little brother. Now does this trip to Dale include free drinks?" He looked at his sister that was playing with her braids._

" _As much ale as you need to start smiling again and the harp," Dis smiled at him sweetly._

" _Sure," he reciprocated the smile and cupped her cheek lovingly._

_She stood on tiptoe and landed a heartfelt sloppy kiss on his cheek, "Great, first the music shop and then I am buying drinks at the Dusty Anvil. A deal?"_

_Thorin nodded for the first time feeling eager to get out of the hellhole he buried himself in after Siv's death, but his timid happiness was short lived. Thrain caught up with them as they were walking quickly past the throne room and his heavy voice stopped them, "what the hell are you up to, all of you?"_

_Dis turned around happily, "a small trip to Dale daddy. I've finished all my homework and I've helped mom with everything she needed."_

_Thrain looked critically at Frerin, "you?"_

" _Finished training, although without Thorin it's just a game and I've been helping with the furnaces and some masonry work at the southern end halls where we had some pillar collapsing at places."_

_Thrain nodded, "Fjalvari informed me of the problem," then he turned at Thorin and his eyes thinned, "how about you?"_

_Thorin crossed his arms, "which task -of the infinite ones I've been burdened with- are you asking about?"_

_Dis sucked air through her teeth and Frerin tensed._

" _You Thorin are the heir to the throne, not a simple princeling! Your tasks and your training never ends! Who told you, you can leave for Dale today? We have a meeting of the chancellors from the four major caverns of the city, and an additional meeting with the head miners that have several requests about the safety of the new tunnels that have reached pretty close to the dormant volcano. Your presence is a requirement!" Thrain thrust his chin up loftily._

" _There he goes again…." Dis muttered and threw her hands in the air._

" _Shut your pretty little mouth missy. Want to go to Dale? Take Frerin and go. No one is stopping you," Thrain pointed at her angrily._

" _The point was us digging Thorin out of the grave he has dug himself into, or haven't you noticed dad? What are you? Blind? Look at him!" Dis showed her brother exasperated._

" _I see the proud heir of Durin, daughter. Do we see different things?" Thrain raised his brow._

_She took several steps and it was Thorin's hand that stopped her, "I see the heir of Durin broken and I don't know what to do to fix him. I try…" she turned to Frerin, "…we try and you always mess it up. Can't you back up for once? Leave him alone. Just for a day!"_

_Thrain's jawline tensed, "The sons of Durin don't break."_

_Frerin humphed and closed his eyes, "you father are completely delirious, forgive me. Haven't you noticed that something is wrong with your oldest son truly or did all this gold blind you as it has already done to grandpa?"_

" _Enough!" Thorin's deep voice roared and reverberated through the statues of his forefathers. Frerin inhaled sharply and lowered his eyes, "enough brother, please."_

_Frerin rebelled, "no it's not enough. We've all learned what grandpa did to Thranduil with the white gems and you are coming down next," he pointed at his father, "you are becoming blind to anything that doesn't concern this grand city, this majestic stronghold and it's rivers of gold. Even to your own children. Think only Thorin has complaints? Think again."_

" _I am here to discuss everything with you children and you know that. What is this united front against me today?" Thrain frowned taken aback._

" _We are not here to discuss our complaints father, but to get him out to see some sun, have a drink and some fun!" Frerin retorted._

" _Please Frerin, not now," Thorin looked at his brother beseechingly._

" _Don't push us out of this one Thorin. Let us help you," Dis looked up at him almost pleadingly._

_A small ghostly smile appeared at his lips and his rough hand caressed the side of her face gently, "I will be alright gerbil. Go with Frerin and I will see you later tonight. I won't be able to skip this chancellor meeting he is talking about. I've forgotten all about it. There is no point getting into each other's throats over the inevitable."_

_Thrain's face softened._

_She felt tears welling in her eyes and embraced him with a sincerity that took his breath away, "We will buy you the harp. Please come at dinner tonight. Don't isolate yourself. I miss you. We miss you."_

" _I will come don't worry. Go and let me handle this," he whispered to her ear and she nodded but before leaving him she turned to her father with a ferocity that surprised everyone, "It's his birthday in a couple of days and we wanted to buy him a present father. That was today's special occasion, but I suppose the heir to Erebor's damned throne is not allowed to celebrate his birthday with his siblings, even though lately he needs us more than you will ever understand!"_

_Thrain opened his mouth to speak, but Thorin spoke above him with command, "Frerin take her and go please."_

_Frerin nodded solemnly and took his sister from the elbow, "I expect you in my room tonight. She will be there also. We'll have your ale ready and waiting," his playful smirk warmed Thorin's heart. He nodded at his brother as they walked hesitantly away from him._

_Then his soft blue eyes hardened and a heavy silence befell between father and son._

_Thrain walked up to him slowly, "you must think I am cruel to you."_

_Thorin pressed his lips and shook his head, "no."_

_Thrain stood in front of his son, several inches sorter, but just as stern as his oldest son had become, "I have to mould you."_

_The hairpin on Thorin's mouth twitched, "haven't you done that already?"_

" _Have I, or is there more to do?" Thrain looked at him thoughtfully._

" _You managed to make me drop the love of my life in order to serve yours and Thror's purposes. I'd say you've moulded me adequately enough," Thorin's voice was deeply sarcastic._

" _You regret your decisions?"_

" _Oh indeed, for I am not a monster, even though anyone would have thought me as such if they knew what I did," Thorin frowned._

_Thrain shook his head, "They would have thought you as loyal to a fault, which is what makes you so special. That is what gives me hope that you will manage to make this grand city flourish when I am gone."_

" _We've already gone through this routine, so inform me about the chancellors and let's get over all this," Thorin dismissed him._

_Thrain's heavy hand landed on his bicep and tightened like a vice, "your sister thinks I haven't noticed what is going on. Your brother thinks I am an ignorant fool, but I know more than they do. I know what haunts you and it breaks my heart to see you slipping away from me day after day. Don't you think I notice how many hours you pass in the library and down at the central blacksmith caverns? Don't you think I've craved your presence in our family dinners and each time you don't appear I get a stab in the heart? Don't you think I have to find every available excuse to calm down your mother's worry? She cannot get a footing on what's been going on between us. Don't you think I am in pain from seeing you in so much anguish? Ever since that nightmare took place, Siv has taken with her the biggest part of you. You are my son and I love you. No matter how much I may have hurt you, I still love you Thorin and I don't know how to fix all this for you."_

_Thorin's eyes watered, "you cannot fix that which is broken."_

_Thrain closed his eyes, "tell me what it is you want me to do and I will do it. Anything."_

" _Bring her back to me," a tear escaped his eyes and trailed down his cheek._

_Thrain paled, "I cannot."_

" _I know," his haunted voice replied._

_Thrain tightened his jawline, "I cannot let you fade to darkness Thorin and I shall not be as gentle as Dis or playful as your brother in this task. I will kick your ass back to the light if I have to. You must sustain for our family, for this city, for yourself."_

_Thorin's smile was bitter, "our family, this city, myself. Putting things in the proper order."_

" _Don't manipulate my words to make me look heartless, for I am not!" Thrain warned him._

" _Father what's the point of all this tell me. Am I not commanding your army? Do I not stand next to Thror day and night trying to keep him from harming himself or others as he is falling deeper down the rabbit's hole? Don't I try to study as hard or even harder than you have ever wished me, for a soldier? Am I not training enough?" He showed his bloody and bruised palm at Thrain, "didn't I send her away in the end to become a puppet in this silent stage show behind the flamboyant curtains that hide the truth from the common people? I buried her for you. I buried my one and only chance in love and now you have the whole of me and you still want more? I have nothing more to give."_

" _I want my son back!" Thrain hissed._

_Thorin shook his head, "I think he remained at the bottom of a sharp cliff. Want to go find him for both of us?"_

_Thrain's eyes overflowed with tears, "I only did what was best for you."_

" _For our family father. You did what was best for our family, not for me," Thorin corrected him._

" _You are going to hold our family together when everything else falls apart. I understand your pain son, but you were born for this…."_

"… _hell. I was born for this hell and I cannot change neither my heritage nor my blood. But how about who I truly am behind all this lofty theatre? Stern authority, majesty, austerity, graveness, a hand of steel and a sharp mind. All the while trying to wake up the dormant diplomat in me, which will probably never happen for I am worst than you on that manner. Who told you that I will ever make a good King? That all this sacrifice, this unfair loss of life had a deeper purpose? How can you believe yourself so omnipotent?" Thorin shook his head dejected, "I am just a slow boiling volcano that waits for some release. It might never happen, but I fear more the moment it does. I am in more pain than I have ever thought possible and everyday I feel like someone is tearing my soul apart. Still through all this I am trying to be the commander you require. What more do you want?"_

_Thrain pulled back teary, "…don't do this…"_

" _What's wrong? guilt will gnaw your mind into madness? Rest assured all this hell I am going through was not your fault, but mine. The final decision was mine and I will stand by it, by you and by this family till my last breath. Siv died because of me and I have to carry that burden to the end of my days. Even if the gold sickness hasn't affected me yet, I am sacrificing my life for it as much as Thror does. Isn't that ironic?"_

" _I am sorry son," Thrain looked crestfallen._

" _Imagine my mother dead in your arms, before she ever had the chance to give birth to your children…."_

_Thrain paled._

" _Now father you are standing in my place. Is it as coveted as you want to make it appear to my siblings?" Thorin's countenance emptied._

" _No my boy," Thrain said heartbroken._

" _Let us lay all this to rest then…" Thorin exhaled._

" _Son, just give me a chance to try to help you…" Thrain tried to grab his arm, but Thorin pulled free._

" _You cannot do more than what I am already doing. I will be at the library to study until it's time for the meeting. Anything else?"_

_Thrain swallowed a heavy throat, "maybe you should go outside with Frerin and Dis today…the chancellors will understand once I explain…"_

_Thorin shook his head, "I will attend as propriety requires. Besides the problem with the new tunnels close to the volcano was something that I wanted to check first hand anyway"._

_Thrain looked at him obviously affected "Will you attend our family dinner tonight, please? For your mother's sake?"_

" _Certainly…," Thorin said and turned his back to his father. His footsteps led him easily back down to the dusty library where the smell of ancient books filled his nose and dried out his fresh tears._

-.-

Eilin felt his exhalation at the side of her neck and her body broke out in goosebumps. Then his breath became steady again and she released the terrified breath she'd been holding. How awkward and embarrassing would it have been for the King of Erebor to wake up with her looming next to him like some hungry apparition from hell? Shouldn't she pull back now that she had picked up her small wooden bead from the floor next to his bed, instead of standing frozen so close to him? Why the hell were her fingers so close to touching one of his warrior braids? She was going to wake him up and he was going to find her hanging above him like a ghoul and then she would end up getting fired and going back to the Ironhills in the best of cases, or out in the Dunlands in the worst. Why was she risking the safety of her position amongst these legendary Longbeards in this silly and imprudent manner?

She had only meant to pick up her hair bead -which was next to his bed- after rushing into his rooms with the intend to wake him up and inform him that some mad wizard was at the entrance and was raising hell in order to see him. Then she found herself locked almost mystically in this position with her cheek almost brushing against his and every single cell in her body awoke by some uncalled force of nature. The tension in her stomach couldn't have been attributed to apprehension, because it felt warm and inviting. Instead of pulling away quickly as she should have, she just stood there, trying not to breathe too hard and wake him up. Wondering what the hell was she doing next to Thorin Oakenshield with her hand lingering above his hair, her nose enjoying his scent and her ears calming down from his steady breathing.

When the door was thrown open she backed away so quickly that she stumbled on the side of his mattress, yelped and caught herself from the column at the foot of his bed. Her heart was racing and she was seeing starts from hyperventilating. Her vocal reaction in combination with the stern voice of Dwalin was enough to make the King open his eyes.

"Wake up Thorin!" The huge bodyguard came in hurriedly and then paused and looked at Eilin with confusion, "why didn't you wake him up like Balin told you?"

"I was trying…" she muttered and felt her cheeks blushing deeply.

Dwalin dismissed her with a shake of his head and turned to a freshly woken Thorin that sat up in bed and rubbed his face, "bloody wizard is downstairs making a racket! We told him he was not allowed into the city and he threatens to bring it down from the root! You need to get down there and shape him up!"

Thorin looked confused towards the door, "wizard?" He asked feeling dizzy as he woke up from another vivid nightmare.

"Bloody Gandalf! He is swishing his staff and threatens to bring down the entrance if you don't allow him in or come to see him. I don't like him, but you know I believe that he is capable of making his threats come true!" Dwalin roared.

Thorin raised his palms, "calm down for Mahal's sake. I am coming."

Dwalin inhaled deeply and his face softened, "you don't look very much rested," he noticed.

Thorin stood up and groaned annoyed, "Now you noticed. Well good morning back at you", he scolded.

Eilin withdrew her eyes from his half naked body feeling even more flustered especially after what happened a few minutes ago. She didn't know if he noticed and spared her more embarrassment if possible, or he simply wanted to get things done himself, but he wore his tunic and without any assistance stood straight and managed to buckle up.

"Anyone else down there?" He asked Dwalin.

"His threats have gathered a rather large audience".

Thorin nodded, "I was expecting him earlier."

"Well, he arrived with a vengeance."

Thorin turned to his maiden that was standing there like a frozen statue looking at her feet, "Eilin go down to the kitchens and make us some breakfast," then he turned to Dwalin, "eaten yet?"

Dwalin offered him the first honest smile since he stormed the bedroom like a hurricane, "Seeing you in need of food pleases me so much I'll eat as many breakfasts with you as I possibly can!"

Thorin grabbed his forearm and then turned at Eilin, "eggs available?"

She nodded quickly.

"Make us some," Thorin smirked.

"Yes, sir" she tittered and ran out of the room like she was on fire.

Dwalin mused after her, "does she always spree away like a ghost is on her bloody trail?"

Thorin flicked his shoulders, "Most of the times. Now let's go down to speak to our grey wizard. I've got a few things to tell him likewise," his voice turned several tones darker as he straightened his leather vest and put on his heavy boots with Dwalin's assistance.

-.-

The nasty feelings of his dream followed him down to the great hall that today was cleaner than he had ever seen it. The bell that had broken down the entrance upon his orders was being pulled up with thick ropes by two lines of several men each. Another one was standing on top of the bell giving orders in Khuzdul. The left side of the entrance was still debris filled, but the right side was rather clean and the lower levels were already been laid down by masons and each huge stone had at least two carvers working on it. The hall was riddled with voices giving orders, the hammering was way too loud for his sleepless head, but all that constant busy murmuring gave him a sense of renewal, a feeling of hope as his home was slowly getting rebuild. Not only by Dain's soldiers that devoted their labour on this formidable tasks, but also from the continuous incoming flow of vagabond dwarven families. Within a few days Thorin had a wide range of delvers, masons, craftsmen, waterworks engineers and furnace operators, woodsmen, medicine men-which didn't please Oin very much- as his set ideas about medical issues came head to head with few of them on various occasions, cooks, bankers -which pleased Gloin as he had someone to order around-, blacksmiths, and sentinels. Those who didn't have a particular trade were offered jobs as helpers to the masters and they were used as gravediggers.

His heavy boots clanked on the golden floor almost bereft of his usual limp and his face scowled deeply when he saw Gandalf from afar having a rather heated argument with Fili, Balin, Nori, and Dori.

"Bloody wizard cannot shut up", Dwalin leaned over while the walked.

"I can see", Thorin's face turned sour.

"Thorin! Well, don't you look good this morning?" Bofur alighted with them out of nowhere, but did sound out of breath which meant he ran to catch up with them.

"Good morning," he rejoined without slowing down.

"I want to talk to you urgently," Bofur winced.

"What can be more urgent than this huge mess?" Thorin thrust his chin towards the gates.

"Fain's daughters…" Bofur trailed off.

"They cannot be important in any sense whatsoever," the answer came dismissive.

"They are when their attitude is intolerable to other human beings. When they make a fool out of your maiden in front of all the people in the great dining room," Bofur said carefully.

Thorin stopped abruptly and his stolid eyes lifted up to him.

"Don't look at me like that. The daughters of Fain, especially that dark haired one, called your maiden a peasant in front of everyone and I thought you'd do well to learn about the non-quality of their character," Bofur raised his brow.

"Just because you salivate around his maiden, doesn't mean he has to take time out of his schedule to clear up such silly misunderstandings," Dwalin chastised him.

"What do you mean I salivate around Eilin?!" Bofur looked offended.

"Everybody including her has figured out that you want to bed her," Dwalin smirked.

Bofur went red from rage, "Bed her? What do you take me for? Some kind of no good low life! I assure you that if I care for this girl it's only because….

Thorin's large palms landed on their chests and pushed them back. "Enough", his deep voice rumbled and they both pulled back, "thank you for informing me," he said to Bofur and with no more words he continued to the gates.

Dwalin raised his brows provocatively, "told you this was not a good time!", he spat and followed Thorin.

"Aha! There you are then! I thought you were hiding from me!" Gandalf exclaimed.

"I was actually sleeping and your racket woke me up", He tilted his head sullenly.

"Good! Why did you give such a silly order as this! How can you not allow me back in Erebor? What kind of craziness has taken abode inside that handsome head of yours King under the mountain?" Gandalf cried loud enough to be heard by all.

Thorin's called on patience, "Lower that tone of yours and erase that haughty attitude grey wizard. We may have gone through a lot this past year, but you are taking this flamboyant idiocy a step too far." The muscles of his jawline tensed and his brow rose with a loftiness that silenced his interlocutor.

Gandalf's lips played with a small smile, "Hmm, speaking like a true King there, Thorin Oakenshield."

"Lower your staff also," Thorin's head tilted up haughtily and his finger pointed the staff downwards.

Gandalf raised his brow, "Very well. Won't you invite me to talk now that I did your bidding?"

Thorin crossed his arms and tilted his head slightly, "If you show proper respect as you stand right on my doorstep, I think we can talk".

"A doorstep I helped you reclaim, mind I remind you?" Gandalf said pointedly.

"Of which I have a few unpleasant things to divulge onto you grey wizard. Therefore hold back your inconsiderate words and act wisely from now on," Thorin warned.

Gandalf leaned his forearm on his staff and looked up to the dome of the entrance, "Very well, shall we talk here under the great bell, in danger of it getting loose and falling on our heads?"

Thorin smirked distastefully, "not in the mood to jest with you. Follow me."

Dwalin took hold of his shoulder, "shall I come?"

Thorin moved his head dismissively, "No," then he gestured and Gandalf followed him inside, while the rest remained behind.

"Hmm, you don't seem to be losing any time in rebuilding this masterpiece," Gandalf looked around him impressed.

"Don't play up, it doesn't suit you", Thorin shook his head annoyed.

"Alright, let's take this over again. You look well," Gandalf said as Thorin led them to the throne room.

"I feel better and that is one of the things I owe to you."

Gandalf smiled, "that -thank you- sounded grumpier than Dwalin losing on a bet."

"I will give credit where credit is due, but not all is well between us because of that Gandalf."

"I think I have figured that out already on my own thank you very much."

Thorin walked pensively at one of the long bridges that led to the throne room, kicking debris left and right, "Does your mind not even make a supposition as to why I banned you from the city?"

"Because I helped you reclaim it, because I saved your life so you can rule it, because I battled next to you as if this place belonged to me? I have no idea…." Gandalf looked at him patiently.

Thorin's brow rose to the ceiling.

Gandalf raised his finger, "because I gave you the key and the map in order to get inside, perchance?"

Thorin weighed him with deadpan eyes, "if you hadn't crossed my path my nephew would still be alive. Υour scheming cost me my boy," his eyes penetrated Gandalf's.

"The war took Kili's life. Neither me, nor you…so lay those demons to rest." Gandalf said calmly.

"If I hadn't reclaimed this mountain none of this would have happened," he continued unfazed.

"If you hadn't reclaimed it the whole of Middle earth would have been in grave danger."

Thorin looked up darkly.

Gandalf leaned over "You forced the enemy's hand when your company set out to reclaim your homeland. You were never meant to reach Erebor much less claim it back from Smaug. Azog the defiler was send by the necromancer to kill the heirs of Durin. He seeks control of the mountain not just for the treasure within but for where it lays. Erebor has a highly strategic position. This is the gate to reclaiming the lands of Angmar in the North, and if that dark Kingdom raises again, Rivendell, Lorien, the Shire, even Gondor itself won't stand a chance especially since the Ash Mountains are crawling with orcs. Your Kingdom Thorin is the dam that holds back a sea of destruction. You were not supposed to be alive now and ruling this great city. Durin's heirs were supposed to be dead and this land claimed by the armies of Orcs, connecting the strategic dots between this and Gunduband, pushing the Iron Hills easily out of the picture. Moria and the grey mountains are down already. You freed the biggest stronghold of the North. Do you think the Necromancer won't try to rid of you again? Or if he fails do you think he will not try to abduct and weaken you like he did with your father? If you prove resilient to all that don't you think he is going to try to lure you into an alliance in some deceptive manner? Instead of getting mad at me or the Elves for manipulating the heir of Durin into securing this golden position for the side of the good, concentrate on the things that will follow for you and your people, because you are not out of trouble yet. Actually, this is were real trouble begins for you King Oakenshield. This is where you must prove your resilience against the evil that raises in the East and seeks to destroy your family line and claim these lands. You ruined the plans of the necromancer and you are even more of a target now, than you had been before. Dare I say that you seriously pissed him off?"

Thorin sighed deeply.

"How can you hope to remain out of this rancour, when you are one of it's bloody stones?!" Gandalf struck his staff on the floor and it echoed in the empty cavern.

"As always nothing about your scheming is left to chance…" Thorin looked at him loftily with a sarcastic up tilt of his lips.

Gandalf tilted his head and smiled, "I try…"

"you want me to swear my allegiance to Thranduil…" Thorin sobered up.

"Yes! Put your petty differences aside and become keepers of this passage for if it falls, we all fall! Dwarves, Elves and Men!" Gandalf said exasperated.

Thorin smirked, "The dwarves will never align with the Necromancer, but we don't need Elven assistance to keep this passage clear."

Gandalf looked at him grimly, "your stubbornness is beyond measure Thorin Oakenshield. You do need the Elves and they need you. You said you were willing to trade the Arkenstone with the white gems. That's a move to the right direction. Take it a step further and on my word of honour Thranduil will answer."

"I do not trust him," Thorin's voice flattened Gandalf's fire, "Bilbo spoke about the trade?"

Gandalf pulled back looking mentally exhausted by his try show this stubborn dwarf the inevitable, "Not only him, are you going to try to throw him off the bastions again?"

"That was low as hell…" Thorin's brow rose critically.

"I am trying to find a way to penetrate your steel exterior," Gandalf retorted.

"If it is Erebor's strategic position you worry about, rest assured that it will remain secure as long as I stand."

"Yet, you will need assistance. Mighty as you are, you cannot fight this alone. The Elves cannot either, neither can men. We all have to fight together against this consuming darkness. Learn to cooperate with others Thorin before it's too late. Wake up the bloody diplomat in you!" Gandalf said angrily.

"And put the bloody schemer in you to sleep…" Thorin's finger rose in caution, "…I am still grieving the loss of my nephew, take care of your attitude."

"Forgive me Thorin, but war will not wait for you to stop grieving…" Gandalf wised.

"I am well aware."

"So what about Thranduil?" 

"I am not yet decided," he replied loftily.

"You will turn your back at Thranduil even though he didn't turn his back at you during this war? Will you turn your back at Queen Galadriel even though she saved your life? I think you are angry because the death of Kili pained you deeply. I don't think you mean all of what you are saying…" Gandalf's voice softened.

Thorin crossed his arms behind his back quietly and looked at the broken throne at the end of the long bridge thoughtfully.

"Will you truly deny your allegiance to the Lady of Light?" Gandalf insisted.

"I cannot answer that which I do not yet know," he said quietly.

"Can you not show some trust in my advice? We have saved each other's lives on numerous occasions, that should earn me some amount of trust," Gandalf frowned.

"I wouldn't have reclaimed this mountain for you, while dead. Don't try to make this into some sort of camaraderie when it is clearly not". Thorin's eyes remained inexpressive.

"I could have chosen not to revive you back at Ravenhill. Then you had served your purpose. I could have allowed Dain to take over. Actually he would have been a much more willing ally, exactly because he is carrying less baggage than you", came the stony answer.

Thorin's eyelids fluttered and he exhaled softly, "indeed you could have done that."

Gandalf tilted his head.

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I believe you deserved a second chance, even though that stubborn head of yours is truly making me mad sometimes!" Gandalf cringed annoyed.

Thorin looked wistfully at the throne room, "you should have saved Kili, not me."

Gandalf backed up and sat down on a large boulder that littered the middle of that long corridor, "even though you may think I am a God, I assure you that I am not. My powers have limits."

Thorin emptied himself in another large stone and leaned his forehead to his palm feeling defeated, "I raised that boy since he was a toddler and my mind won't let me forget those times."

"One cannot get used to death. I know things are not easy for you," Gandalf took out his pipe and ignited it with the stone of his staff.

"No, you don't understand. I cannot stop seeing visions…ever since you brought me back …" Thorin's frown hid his devastation.

Gandalf raise this brow interested, "Visions?"

Thorin nodded and pressed the heel of his palm on his forehead, "Dreams or rather nightmares of the past. Of major events from my life years ago. When Queen Galadriel touched me they became more vivid and more lifelike. I don't know what is happening to me…"

Gandalf exhaled the smoke and then extended his hand offering the pipe, "it's old Toby…" he encouraged Thorin to look up.

"When I wake up from them, I cannot bring myself back to this reality. I am half out of my body most of the times…." He said and reached out for the pipe-weed.

"Maybe your mind is trying to tell you something," Gandalf pursed his lips thoughtfully.

Thorin inhaled the smoke and felt it gliding down his throat and into his lungs. He closed his eyes and exhaled in clear satisfaction, "yes, it's telling me that I am going mad."

Gandalf "it's telling you that you have unfinished business in there", he smiled and took back the smoking pipe.

Thorin humphed.

"Maybe there are many loose ends, or maybe there's only one that is causing all the rest to unravel," Gandalf flicked his shoulders.

They remained silent observing each other and the floor as they exchanged the pipe several times between each other. Gandalf thinking about Thorin's intentions towards the allegiance with the Elves and men, and Thorin trying to understand what it was that his mind was trying to tell him with all these visions and nightmares. What was the unfinished thread that was creating such havoc inside his mind, and no one would have disturbed that fragile truce between them under the spell of the Old Toby, if it wasn't for a woman that cried out a name and made them look up.

"Jóhild, come back now!"

"Wait mom, no," the girl said and ran up to them out of breath.

Thorin looked her, feeling the calming effects of the smoke caressing over his bruised nerves, "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

The girl giggled and covered her mouth, "I met you at the gates mister remember? I sang for you"

"He is not a mister Jóhild for Mahal's sake. He is the KING!" Her mother scolded and came up behind the child, "Excuse me Uzbad please. We didn't mean to interrupt you and the grey wizard, but I couldn't stop her."

"I saw you from there," the kid showed behind her, "and I wanted to say hi!"

"The moment she saw you she wanted to come over. I tried to stop her but she runs like the wind," her mom said and bowed respectfully.

"It's really no problem. So is it only hi you wanted to tell me Jóhild?" He asked with a soft smile that made Gandalf's eyes shine with silent interest.

"yeah" she moved her body left and right.

"Hello back at you. Was there anything else?" He raised his brow.

She giggled and hid behind her mother.

"Oh Jóhild, don't do this. You wanted to talk to the King, so this is your chance!" Her mom sounded annoyed. A couple of women that were passing by with freshly washed clothes in their baskets stopped from afar to see what was going on.

"Mooom!" She whined and peaked behind her mom's long skirt.

Thorin looked slyly at her, "Come here, I won't bite."

She slowly pulled away from her mom and came over as he beckoned her. He reached out his large hand and showed his palm, "give me your hand."

She hesitated.

"Do I scare you?"

She nodded and then giggled and then shook her head.

"You confuse her and I can relate," Gandalf laughed and released a large puff of smoke that formed into a perfect butterfly.

Jóhild looked at it wide eyed, "that's just wow mister!"

"Well thank you", Gandalf smiled proudly and winked at her.

Thorin pressed his lips, "I am still waiting for your hand."

Jóhild giggled and placed her small hand in his, "there, happy?" She asked.

"Enchanted my little lady," he said and kissed her small hand with a gentleness that made Gandalf smile sweetly.

She screeched and drew back her hand. Then she started hopping around like a rabbit and laughing. Her mother laughed also.

"What's that you've got behind your back?" Thorin pointed at her.

Jóhild stopped and as if remembering something very important she ran up to him and placed a flower crown right on top of his head. She pulled back, checked it and then returned to straighten it up, "there" she said.

Thorin's lips upturned into a radiant smile that caused several hearts to flip over from the female spectators, "is this for me?"

Jóhild nodded eagerly, "mom says that we can give flower crowns to the man we want to marry."

Her mother covered her face and turned around embarrassed.

Thorin laughed and held her tiny forearm, "so you want to marry me?"

Jóhild nodded eagerly, "yes!"

"Am I not a bit too old for you?" He raised his brows.

"I am ten, how old are you?" Jóhild asked innocently.

Thorin scrounged his lips, "almost two hundred", he whispered.

Jóhild tried to calculate but failed, "is that a lot?"

"More than a lot! You are a flower bud and he is a rotting corpse!" Gandalf intervened roguishly.

Jóhild bit her lower lip and her eyes rolled to the ceiling, "dad is one hundred and seventy!"

"I am older than him," Thorin cringed.

"i don't care!" Jóhild clapped her hands.

"you seem very decided upon our fate," Thorin smiled.

"You are very big and scary, but I like your eyes! You have pretty eyes and mom says the eyes are the window to the soul. I don't know what it means but it must be something nice, right?" She said trying to sound serious.

Thorin pressed his lips and nodded, "what your mom says is very nice indeed" he turned and saw the mother looking at them with tears in her eyes.

"So we are going to marry?" Jóhild moved her bottom around playfully.

Thorin took her small hand in his and gave it a tender kiss, "If I am still alive when you become a grown woman and you are not in love with anyone else, I promise that we shall marry."

Jóhild looked confused "I don't know if what you said is a yes or a no, mister…uhm I mean King!"

Thorin smiled and caressed her hand, "it's a yes, but only when you become at least thrice your mom's age, alright?"

Her mother laughed heartily at his clever answer, "thank you for playing along with all this Uzbad," she said and bowed to the ground again.

"Yeah! Thank you!" Jóhild cried and embraced him so suddenly that he momentarily sobered up. Then he allowed himself to be drawn inside her happiness and he embraced her gently back.

"My pleasure believe me," he said as Jóhild pulled back and then began hopscotching around her mom and signing a children's song not knowing that she had done what many adult female dwarves would have killed to have an opportunity to do in her stead.

"Can we go eat now mom?" She grabbed her mom's hand and began pulling.

"Sure, excuse me Uzbad?" She asked respectfully.

"Want this back?" He took off the flower crown.

Her mom shook her head, "no, it's yours. Keep it to remember her audacity when she grows older."

He smiled "Goodbye Jóhild."

"Bye bye!" She waved with all the innocence of her youth and ran in front of her mom with her arms wide open.

The mother bowed again and ran after the child.

Thorin turned at a mesmerised Gandalf and extended his hand for the pipe-weed, "don't look so flabbergasted."

"You've got your first marriage proposal in a line of many dare I assume…" Gandalf raised both brows.

Thorin huffed and inhaled deeply closing his eyes, "that's the only kind of marriage proposal I would ever say yes to…"

"Easier to say no than yes?" Gandalf eyes thinned thoughtfully.

"Undoubtedly."

"You might find it difficult to say no in the future. Life might find a good plaything out of your stubbornness in some manner, which I am not yet ready to understand, and turn the tables on you violently," Gandalf said mystically.

Thorin humphed, "Old Toby got to you?"

Gandalf smirked, "Indeed it has….great batch this one I must admit."

Thorin nodded appreciatively.

Gandalf pursed his lips, "I don't know how we shifted from threatening each other, to sharing mild drugs with you are wearing a flower crown."

"Beats me, but you are still banned from this city," Thorin pointed at him.

Gandalf chuckled, "let's finish this weed, then maybe we can share some mead while you tell me how you feel and about your dreams and we can renegotiate my ban after all that. Deal?"

Thorin's lips curled sideways and he gave back the pipe, "deal," he agreed grumpily.

-.-

"Come on, I cannot invite you more officially than this…" Bofur cringed as she emptied the fresh vegetables several families had brought over since the trades with Dale had started officially.

"How can I know if the King will need me?" She asked.

"Ask him for a leave," he offered.

"Again?"

"Why not?" Bofur bit his lower lip and approached, "he is going to be there too. It's a surprise for him at the end of the day".

Eilin felt her shoulders slouching. She hadn't had enough time to get a grip on herself after the unexpected interaction she had with the King in his bedroom and Bofur followed her from the grand hall down to the kitchens asking her insistently to escort him on that gathering they were arranging for Thorin.

"Exactly! This is for him and I am his maiden, therefore I must follow him." She said feeling rather exasperated.

"He won't need you to stand behind him for the whole duration. Thorin is used to living like a commoner. He is not used to having someone tending to his every need twenty four seven. I will dare assume that would piss him off."

Eilin felt her lips twitching, "it does…"

Bofur pointed at her with a smile, "see? Therefore you can accompany me. What else can I do but bring flowers…tell me yes!"

Eilin felt her cheeks blushing and she inhaled sharply, "No, please no flowers!"

Bofur smiled, "fine, I won't bring you in a tight spot, if you agree to come with me tonight"

Eilin sighed and closed her eyes, "if I say yes, will you stop speaking so loud?"

Bofur clapped his hands, "yes…" he whispered.

Eilin looked at him partly amused, "I will come if he doesn't need me for anything…"

Bofur rolled his eyes pleased, "that's all I wanted to hear. Shall I pick you up at seven?"

She frowned, "it will be that late?"

"yes"

"Will there be many people?" She asked slightly apprehensive.

Bofur laughed heartily, "Balin is gathering the lords of the army and the recently reinstated grey wizard is thinking of using some of his more sombre fireworks to honour the memory of Kili. Everyone is going to be there…."

"So the King has no idea yet?…" she mused.

"His sister has taken over to bringing him to us. Have you ever attended a dwarven gathering?"

She shook her head feeling slightly embarrassed.

Bofur touched her shoulder gently, "then you are going to love it. There will be songs for the fallen, warmth and companionship and lots and lots of good food. I even set up my fishing nets at the river. They are tied on a boat close to the clearing where the gathering is going to take place. I promise to make you my best fish recipe. Do you know how to pull up nets?"

She bit her lower lip and not wanting to admit complete uselessness she nodded half heartedly, "of course I do."

"Then we make a deal. You will pick them up for me and I will cook you the best fish that will be caught there without telling Bombur anything, or else he is going to eat it", he smiled.

Eilin nodded, "That sounds lovely."

"Perfect!" Bofur rubbed his palms together and pranced to the door, "see you later then!"

She nodded and when the door closed behind she allowed herself to lean her elbows on the fountain and let the tepid water run over her forearms. Without too much thought she lowered her head and put her face under it, wanting in some manner to tear away all these rude thoughts that kept assaulting her mind non stop. Her long hair got trapped under the water and got drawn into the fountain filling it with their reddish colour, their sheer amount covering over all the vegetables that she had forgotten there. So she remained under the water for a while, breathing through her mouth and trying to understand how she would be able to manage the night that was coming up. With Bofur chasing after her company and her hiding from the man whose company she would never dare ask for.

She stayed there long after her heart stopped palpitating and her temperature dropped significantly, but even then she found it difficult to work for the rest of the day. Her attendance to the princess took most of her time, but did little to settle her down. Only the visit of Tauriel at the kitchens late afternoon was able to draw her mind away from her intrusive and totally imprudent thoughts towards the King.

* * *


	17. A night by the river

In the meantime down at one of the abandoned blacksmith vaults, Thorin had ignited the fire of one station and was hammering away his troubles. The hard clanking of metal echoed again and again inside the black walls of the cavern, for the first time after centuries. The bellows huffed and puffed, feeding the fire and making sweat cover every inch of his body. The large white bandage around his chest was clearly visible under his untied tunic, a small reminder that he died and came back to life not so long ago as he brought down his hammer on the surface of the metal repeatedly.

The pain when he began forging the rough metal rod had been excruciating, but he purposely ignored it and as he continued to hammer away, the pain slowly began numbing down. With every muscle in his body cold and unused the first throws of the hammer on the anvil were harder than he had anticipated, but several hours later his body was blazing hot from the manual labour and every pain faded away, as his mind emptied like it always did when he was working like that. He had been forging out his frustrations since he was a young boy, barely able to lift the hammer. Once he discovered the therapeutic abilities of using his body to transform hard metal into art, there was no turning back. This sometimes felt even better than playing his harp. With music his mind was travelling at places of peace and tranquility. The demanding and powerful nature of forging, emptied his mind complete of all thoughts. Minutes turned into hours and he barely even noticed. His hair and body was so sweaty he looked like he had just got off the river and he didn't even feel it. The muscles on the palm of his hands were aching from the scorching heat and he gritted his teeth against the need to put down the hammer. Time and time again he brought it down with gritted teeth, until the metal rod began forming into an impressive long double edged sword.

His eyes seared into the fire as he held the sword by it's tip in order to heat up the hilt and then he took out his smaller tools. The tools of the real artistry of dwarven swords. The ones that only the blacksmith masters were able to work. Only when he opened his forgotten leather satchel, did he allow himself to sit on a low wooden stool and rest his heavy fur boots at the side of the anvil. His elbows barely felt the heat of the metal surface as he leaned close to the hilt and began working meticulously on the intricate design. Drops of sweat trickled down the metal surface as he picked up smaller metal pieces and melted them to a point where they could be easily moulded. Then he began twisting them around the already smooth hilt in airy shapes that originally would make no sense to the eye of a stranger. To his experienced eyes though the design was clear as the sun. His long dampened hair stuck to his temples and cheeks. Several longer strands got entangled around the forearm of his working hand, but he didn't stop his meticulous work to clear them away. Sweat run in small rivulets down his face and neck, sticking his tunic on his skin, but he only felt was the magic that he creating as the thin metal strands were twisting and turning around the hilt, slowly forming the head and front legs of the beast he intended to put on this sword.

He remained there mesmerised under his own artistic spell until the caw of Roac made him look up briefly. The black master of Ravenhill flew down through the corridors, entered the vaults and landed gently on his exposed wide shoulder with confidence. Thorin didn't lift his eyes from his delicate work as Roac gave him the information he had required with a quiet voice into his ear.

"Thank you," he said when the crow had finished.

Roac cowed his reply and flew away as quickly as he had appeared. Thorin's relief made his hand loose it's grip of the delicate carving tools that fell out of his large hands. He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers between his eyebrows feeling his heart soothed in ways words could never describe. He remained like that, his shadow covering the intricate design he had been working on for a long time. The blazing fire began dying down and the sword became too cold to be worked upon. It was the voice of his sister that made him peak from under the palm of his hand.

"Do you think it's wise to forge while bearing an almost mortal wound, wolf?" She remained in the shadows of the station.

He swallowed a dry mouth and shook his head, "wiser than lay in bed or brood in father's office."

"You mean your office."

He sighed, "should I ask how you are?"

She shook her head and sat at a stool across his anvil, "no use…" her voice sounded bitter.

He reached up and cleared the hair from his face along with the sweat that was blurring his eyes, "you are hiding yourself…"

"And you are forging…we each deal with this loss in our own special way. Don't judge …" she frowned at him.

"I am worried about you," he looked up with an honesty that touched her.

"I know," she rubbed her forehead, "I need time Thorin. This cannot just go away. I don't know how to handle it."

He nodded, "Fili is fine…"

She looked up and gasped. Then a small smile appeared on her well formed lips, "when did you learn news?"

"Roac came just now…" he shook his head dismissively.

"Have you set the crows upon my boy?"

He huffed, "you didn't want me to?"

She closed her eyes and bit her lower lip, "Of course I did! Listen Thorin about all this tension between us with the she-elf and you allowing Fili to leave Erebor..."

He shook his head, "Forget it. We are both under immense stress".

She looked up knowingly, "Can you forgive my attitude?"

"If you can forgive mine", his smile was exhausted.

"I know you will do the best for Fili, but still the mother in me worries, but the she-elf is something very hard for me to swallow", She looked at him calmly.

"That's very obvious", he raised his brow and stood up deciding to work the bellows again.

She crossed her arms, "You've acted towards Kili honourably and I thank you for that. I shall not stain my son's memory by criticising his love interests, but I won't automatically become best friends with an elf either. You have never let me or my sons down Thorin and I should have trusted in your judgment better. You've raised them like a father and I cannot thank you enough for that".

The fire ignited anew as his strong leg worked the bellows and he kept his back on her to hide the welling in his eyes, "I wouldn't have left you alone after your husband died. You know that", his voice was heavy.

"Yet, somehow I am always burdened with guilt for destroying your life. If you hadn't stepped in the place of my dead husband as fervently as you did, then maybe you would have had a family of your own," she looked up at him sadly.

His felt his stomach muscles clenching suddenly, but instead of turning around and showing her through his eyes the pain she had just awoken with her words, he gritted his teeth and pulled out the sword from the fire. His foot released the heavy pedal and the two humongous hammers that were dangling above his head fell on the orange hued blade with a ferocity he barely controlled. Fire spewed all over his head and body and she turned away to protect her face from the heat. Feeling almost cleansed by that violent throw of the double hammers, he placed the sword back on the anvil and began working on the hilt design once more.

"your silence speaks volumes…" she turned around quietly.

"what do you want me to tell you Dis?" His voice was dry.

"That all my assumptions are false and that you chose not to fall in love with anyone…." She tried.

He remained silent.

"Thorin…please.." She leaned her hands on the anvil and drew them back instantly hissing from the heat.

"Careful…" he warned her and then looked up, "Family, love…It was just never meant to be for me…that's all. Don't overburden your head with stupid thoughts."

"Yet you have been courted by many women and I cannot stop thinking that one of them would have been the one for you, if it wasn't for me and my boys".

He winced and felt almost nauseated at the irony of this conversation, "I could have chosen one before the battle of Moria. Think clearly Dis. It was just not meant to be…"

"Maybe then it was dad's overpowering personality that shaped you up not to think about a family…"

He raised his brow and cold sweat broke on his forehead, "making up theories about my choices again?"

"No, but that part in you was always a mystery to me Thorin. Frerin was always chasing after the next pretty girl. Yet, you…"

"No one was interesting enough to get my attention. Will that do as an answer?" He sounded less irritated than he truly was.

She frowned thoughtfully, "Alright, how about now?"

He looked up coldly, "Now?"

She nodded, "you've reclaimed our city and you are building the Kingdom anew. New pages of golden history will be added in the books of the Elders under your name along with the ones you have already written. Haven't you accomplished everything you've set out to do? Don't you need more in your personal life now? Fili is a grown man, he doesn't need your guidance as much and I…well…I am fine now. As much as I can be. You could concentrate on yourself for once."

"what have you got in mind gerbil? You know I am not into any marriage arrangements. We've been through that many times back in the Blue Mountains."

She raised her palm, "heard you accepted a marriage proposal this morning actually."

He huffed and felt the tension of their previous close call melting at the ground, "she was too cute to resist, but I rather doubt I'll be alive when she comes of age."

She smiled and crossed her arms, "how about taking a look at the older ladies that have arrived in Erebor then?"

He raised his brow, "anyone in particular you care for me to meet?"

She bit her lower lip, "Valdis, Fain's younger daughter seems interesting enough. Pretty girl, prudent mind and careful tongue. Works hard and keeps her head low. Also she's quite smitten with you."

"No" he frowned and began carving the details of the design after heating it up.

"Why are you so negative? Did you even get a good look at her? You were not in a good mindset to see clearly that day," she looked at his work with interest.

"I am not blind…answer is still no."

"Isn't she pretty?" His sister leaned over and came close to the hilt to see better.

"I really don't care if she is", he looked at his work annoyed at his sister's insistence.

"Thorin you are not thinking clearly and the already pathetic diplomat in you is becoming comatose. Valdis is a good girl. I didn't tell you to marry her, just to give yourself some time to get to know her. Besides she is Dain's niece and that man helped you reclaim the Lonely Mountain. Be clever for once in your life."

His chisel was struck with such force that it took the wrong turn and almost ruined that delicate line of his design. He looked up darkly, "do you seriously suggest that I befriend a woman for the sake of diplomacy? I've never done such a folly in my life, I won't start now that I am close to the end of it."

"A hundred and ninety five is the end of your life? Are you going through a midlife crisis?" She teased gently.

"End of conversation," he looked at her fixed for several seconds before returning to his work.

"She will be there with her sister at the gathering this evening," she let the words trail, waiting for him to pick up.

"What gathering?"

"The one Gandalf and your brethren are organising for Kili's honour outside the gates, by the river," she smiled.

He wiped away the ample sweat on his brow with his forearm and gazed at her mutely for several moments, "whose idea was that?"

She flicked her shoulders, "Your friends all decided upon it in unison. I cannot blame them though. It is a good idea to get together and share some quiet time around each other after all the hell we've been through."

He felt his shoulders slouching slightly, "I suppose so".

"Will you come?"

He looked down and shook his head, "Sure".

Her hand grabbed his forearm and squeezed, "Perfect, we both need to have a break".

He smiled.

"At the gathering, can I bring Valdis over to you? See her up close, talk to her a bit. Maybe you'll discover that's she's interesting, maybe not. Nothing to lose though, is there?" She bit her lower lip and looked at him expectedly.

His countenance turned dour once more, "will that make you happy?"

She nodded, "yes"

He gazed at her thoughtfully and knowing that it was her guilt that was the driving force behind her insistence, he agreed half-heartedly, "if it means that much to you, I'll talk to her, but I am making no promises."

Her face brightened up for the first time since he saw her again and his heart smiled at that, "thank you wolf!" She leaned over and placed a loving kiss on his moist forehead. Then she pulled back and wiped her mouth disgusted.

He raised his finger at her, "Now that we are on topic, I couldn't help but notice a certain lieutenant from Dain's army that's been hanging around you like a lost puppy."

She pulled back abhorred, "you mean Dongar?"

He raised his brows, "quick to learn his name were you?"

She crossed her arms, "he escorted me here and he is very polite and protective if you must know…"

"I am sure he is…" he trailed off.

"Thorin! Don't misread things!"

"You mean to tell me that you haven't figured out why he is following you around?" He gazed at her derisively.

"I haven't got a mind to think in this manner right now. Honestly!" She turned around and threw her head back haughtily.

"Well, he does, believe me," Thorin pulled back to check on his design.

"Even if he does…I am not in the mood for romantic involvements right now Thorin. Not even close to it", her face fell…

"Neither am I," he raised his brow meaningfully, "but I am being forced by you."

"I am only doing it because I care for you," she whined.

"I know, and because I care for you, I am here to warn mister Dongar back to a more appropriate distance," his tone held a warning.

She frowned, "you don't trust me."

"I don't trust him. You are a princess of the crown, with a great fortune tagging along behind you and his intentions are not clear to me yet."

"You think that a man would only be interested in me because of my heritage or money?" She rebelled.

"I think that many men would be interested in you because of your immense beauty, your fierce personality and your heritage, but not all are suitable to enter your personal space," he said gravely.

"Says the man that supported fervently my marriage to a mine worker," she spat.

"Who proved how much he loved you, to me," he retorted.

She exhaled, "why does your solicitude feel like a vice around my neck right now?"

"because it probably is. I've got my eyes on him," he warned.

"please don't scare away someone whose company might be pleasing to me," she said faintly.

He raised his brows, "is it pleasing?"

She nodded half heartedly.

"Then he must prove himself worthy of you," he continued with austerity.

"Thorin…" she cringed…

He shook his head, "I am not backing away from this Dis. I don't even know who the hell this guy is and he is way too close to you right now."

She got off the anvil and came around. Then she leaned her elbows on his shoulders not minding his sweat and kissed his cheek, "trust in me please. This man lost his wife in the battle of Moria and he never acted imprudently around me. He is just a pleasant company at times, that's all. I know you feel protective towards me, but show me some faith. Nothing is going on. I am in too much pain and too raw..."

His jawline moved as his small hammer fell on his thin chisel, "if he tries anything inappropriate, I will kill him."

She leaned her forehead where his neck met his shoulder and sighed deeply, "I know wolf, but he won't… Now forget it and go through the hot-springs before you come at the gathering please".

"I smell?" He chuckled.

"You reek…" She aired her nose and then looked at his sword, "That's a dragon on the hilt…" she leaned over.

"Aye"

"Beautiful design, your touch in this art is still formidable"

"Thank you" he smiled softly.

"Have you given this beauty a name yet?" She looked up at him as he was rubbing a dirty cloth on the scales of the dragon in order to clean it up thoroughly so he could see where to carve next.

He nodded, "Narag Zegaru" he said in Khuzdul.

"Black blade? That's a beautiful name. Will you keep it?" She looked at him with a faint smile.

He ran his fingers on the blade to check on the smoothness of the metal, "I am not sure yet. I will know when I finish it."

She gathered herself, "I must leave and go get ready. Remember that I will bring over Valdis to you this evening so try not to be so brooding and evasive."

"I will be whatever I please and now that I remembered, rumours reached my ears that the oldest daughter of Fain was rather rude to our maiden one morning. Is that true?"

She pursed her lips, "quite true. I was there when it happened. That girl has no prudence at all. She's the complete opposite of her sister."

"Hmmm...very well" his tone was coldly menacing.

Dis flicked her shoulders, "I'll be happy to see her stripped down, but do be careful how you express your concerns, because she is Dain's niece."

"Don't worry."

"I'll come pick you up later alright?" She looked above her shoulder.

He didn't look up, "very well."

-.-

Eilin stole an apprehensive glance at the other side of the fire where the brooding King was sitting with the beautiful lady Valdis on one side and Balin on the other. Eilin was secretly hoping that lady Valdis was blubbering him into madness, but his countenance was closed up and difficult to read. He was drinking though and rather heavily from what she could gather. His cup was constantly being refilled even though he had barely touched the meat of the boar that was spinning slowly in the main fire. She had gone over to ask him if he needed anything, in the hopes that he would ask her to accompany him back to his rooms were she would assist him with his wound and then they could go to their respectful beds and end this night early. Every time he dismissed her without needing anything. Not that Bofur's insistence hadn't helped on that front, since he went with her a couple of times and bugged Thorin not to put any work on her for the evening. The King didn't seem bothered by that arrangement so after making sure that the princess was alright in the company of the lieutenant and Fain's oldest daughter she joined Bofur, Bifur and Bombur on a smaller fire at the side.

She shifted many times to have a better view of what was going on at the King's company and observed with growing frustration Valdis flashing him with all the signs of her interest through gestures and body language. Eilin didn't know if that theatre was lost in the King, but she was still rather annoyed by the whole deal without understanding why it should matter to her.

At some point when the songs for the fallen were joined in by the natural baritone of Thorin's voice, her mouth dropped open and she fell enchanted under his spell much like Valdis had without even realising it. The sombre fireworks of the grey wizard that brightened up the gates of Erebor after a while, made her heart gallop with excitement and she momentarily forgot the need to go back to bed and forget everything that happened in the morning, or the tense feeling that abounded on the pit of her stomach tonight.

"I've been bugging you to have a drink since you've arrived," Bofur noted.

She smiled, "I don't drink, because if I do I might faint…remember?"

His lips twisted slightly, "you need to loosen up."

"You need to loosen her up," Bombur said and Bifur laughed heartily.

"Come on you guys, it's not like I want to get her drunk. Just in a slightly better mood. Look at how serious her face is!" Bofur turned to his brothers.

"I am truly enjoying myself. Gandalf's fireworks were amazing," she leaned back to a log to give her back a break.

"Gandalf's fireworks are the only thing that impressed you tonight?" Bofur looked at her coyly.

She smiled, "and the singing. That was enthralling."

Bofur threw his hands in the air, "thank Mahal I was part of that, because I'd think that nothing of what I am doing tonight is making an impression on you."

She raised her brow and snickered, "you want to impress me?"

He grimaced and flicked his shoulders, "Maybe".

"He is!" Bombur nodded eagerly and gave them the thumbs up.

"if I did would you have a problem?" Bofur looked at her with his kind eyes and she couldn't help but smile widely.

"I don't know, I mean I am not sure…oh..damn…" she muttered and covered her face feeling embarrassed.

He touched her knee gently and she looked up, "I've got the best idea to get you out of that mood."

"What is it?" She asked.

He offered her his hand, "dance with me!"

"I don't know how…" she felt the blood draining from her face.

"I'll lead you. Hear this song is much more energetic, come on, we still have a little while before it finishes," he pulled her up and she cried surprised.

"I don't know how to dance, no no no…" she pulled away from him and sat down decisively.

He pulled her up again and before she had the chance he placed his hands around her waist and began twirling her around in rhythm with the song. She felt her head going dizzy and suddenly her heart threw away all the fear and anxiety and her lips upturned in a happy smile that radiated into her eyes. She grabbed Bofur's shoulders and swirled and twirled for what seemed an eternity. Hearing the men around her clapping and their heavy boots hitting the ground, urging them on. When the music stopped Bofur took a deep bow and she grabbed her head feeling dizzy. As he led her back to the fire she was lucky not to notice Thorin's fiery eyes following her zealously till she was shoved back down to the ground.

She laughed lightly and touched her warm cheeks. Bofur's hand caressed her long hair down her back and he nudged her, "see, you feel better already…" he said.

She reached out and pulled the bottle of mead out of his hand. She lifted it and gulped down several times before gasping for air, "yes I do!" She admitted.

Bofur turned to his brothers and winked, "see her unravelling her timid personality to reveal something beautiful."

"Easy on that drink lassie, for you are not used to it", Dori touched her shoulder and she turned around startled.

"Oh, I am sorry mister Dori…"

"Don't drink too much, that's all I am saying. Everything else is lovely as was your dance with Bofur. We all enjoyed it" Dori winked at her and left with his hands clasped thoughtfully behind his back.

"Dori is a real mood swinger, now drink up" Bofur urged her.

She snorted and lifted up the bottle taking in a couple of more sips of the lovely ale. Already her body felt it effectively warming her extremities, "a little more won't do me no harm," she whispered not wanting this sudden happy mood to leave her. There had been so few moments in her life where she had felt happy that she relished them.

"Some food in your stomach might help with the after effects. I've got my vegetables ready, remember the deal?" He winked at her.

She lowered the bottle that was now half down and looked at him confounded, "no…" she muttered.

"You go pick up the nets and see if we've caught any good fish and I'll begin boiling the vegetables for my favourite recipe, which…" he turned at Bombur whose face was already brightening up, "which you will not eat, because I am making it especially for Eilin. Get it?" He raised a cautious finger.

Bombur grimaced disappointed, "what the hell.."

"You've eaten half the boar and twenty sausages. Fish goes to Eilin, if she manages to pick the nets up. Are you up for the challenge?" He smiled playfully at her.

She bit her lower lip and drank a few more heartfelt sips feeling her throat burning and her head slightly swimming, "Sure I am!" she said with determination and stood up. Then she swayed and Bofur caught her arm.

"You sure you won't end up in the river?" He asked mildly concerned.

"No, I won't. I'll be back with your fish, you just wait and see!" She said with a steady voice and then marched away from their fire.

Bofur turned to his vegetables and shook his head.

"Don't come too strong on her, she needs her time," Bombur told him and Bifur nodded.

"I know" Bofur agreed.

-.-

Thorin inhaled deeply, and tried to find ways of shutting off the insistent woman next to him. He came just for his sister's sake, who was talking all this time with this lieutenant that he knew nothing about. The need to march up there, break them apart and ask that man for explanations was so dire that he decided to drown his anger in ale. He didn't know how many times they had refilled his cup, but the pain on his stomach was now non existent which meant that he was mildly if not adequately drunk. Which would explain why he was not choking Fain's younger daughter as she was trying to explain to him how difficult it was at times to buy modern clothes at the remote Iron Hills and what kind hair styles were mostly worn right now in the biggest dwarven cities around Middle Earth.

"Therefore if a lady is to wear her braids up in a flower scheme they'd need to previously keep their hair unwashed for several days so that it would stay in place with the natural oils of the scalp," Valdis said with a very thoughtful frown.

Balin sighed, "Lady Valdis, maybe you could talk about something else than fashion to the King?" he offered politely.

Thorin elbowed Balin and showed his cup unwilling to speak.

"More?" he asked and when Thorin nodded he refilled the cup with a critical frown.

"But what can I talk about then my Lord? It's not as if I am knowledgeable in the art of war," Valdis said.

"Maybe you should ask the King for a dance instead?" Balin looked at her vexed.

"No!" Thorin rebelled and then looked at Valdis fleetingly, "I prefer to hear about the hair styles of Belegost…" he added more quietly.

"of the Iron Hills my King," Valdis frowned.

"Yes, there…" he waved his hand absently.

"See the King enjoys my take on how a modern dwarven lady should take care of herself. As if we should follow in the footprints of the Elves like women do. No, we must not diverge from our customs as they can support…."

There Thorin's ears muted her blubbering and his eyes noticed Tauriel who had kept mostly in the company of Bilbo and Gandalf all this time, walking slowly towards the banks of the river. He inhaled deeply and emptied his cup in one go. Then he shoved it in Balin's hands and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Balin asked and Valdis looked at him incredulously.

"I've got something to take care off. Excuse me," he said and left them standing there moonstruck.

"Did he just get up and go in the middle of our conversation?" Valdis asked with an angry frown.

Balin looked at Thorin's cup and refilled it for himself, "Dare I say madame without becoming forthcoming, that you have no idea how to keep a man's interest…"

"Humph!" Valdis crossed her arms defensively and stood up quite offended to find her sister.

Balin scrounged his lips and emptied his cup.

-.-

Thorin walked quietly up to Tauriel and crossed this arms behind his back. He let a few silent moments go by and then he addressed her, "famous elven senses didn't notify you of my presence or you prefer we didn't speak?"

Tauriel wiped away a few stray tears from her eyes, "I am sorry King Thorin. I am not well."

He approached and stood next to her gazing at the thin snowflakes falling at the river, "I am well aware of that."

She looked at him fleetingly, "thank you for allowing me to remain."

"I'd do anything for him," he lowered his eyes.

"Me too," she whispered.

His lips twitched and he searched his pockets, "you can stay as long as you wish."

She looked at him carefully then, "I don't know if King Thranduil will allow me to remain more. I have already pushed past what was appropriate for him".

"I don't like your kind…" he trailed off proudly, "…I think it is too cold blooded and manipulative. As for loyalty, they are to their own kind but no one else who is in real need. Especially my kin. I don't like your King and that will never change…"

She lowered her eyes to the water and nodded.

"…stubborn I may be indeed, but I am not Thror, neither am I Thrain, like your King believes. My doors shall remain open for you."

She felt her eyes overflowing with tears which she didn't try to hide, "thank you."

He brought his hand in front of her and opened it up, "this belongs to you."

Her breath hitched.

"Take it," he frowned trying to keep his heavy emotions at bay.

"I placed it with Kili…" her words came out with difficulty.

"I took it back. He gave you that stone. Do you know what it says?" He looked up at her.

"Return to me…" she whispered.

He nodded feeling heartbroken, "He cannot return to you…to anyone of us".

Tauriel squeezed her eyes tight.

"Keep the stone, so you can always return to him," he told her and turned his empty gaze at the cold river waters.

She sobbed silently, but didn't make a move to take it. Thorin's hand opened up hers and placed the stone right in the middle of her palm. Then he closed her fingers, much like Kili had done and kept a good hold of them, "Don't let anyone else take it. It is a dwarven rune stone meant only for our dwarven kin."

She tightened her fingers around it "On my word of honour I shall not."

He nodded quietly, "I'd suggest you return to the city and rest…"

She looked at him with a pair of deeply thankful eyes that he missed as he walked slowly away from her. He walked a while longer, pulling his warm coat close to his body and burying his chin on the thick fur neckline. Enjoying the blessed silence for the first time this evening. Quite relieved to be away from that gathering and especially that woman, he stood by the river shore, resting his heavy boot on a large boulder while the snow slowly began covering his hair and beard. For a few moments he listened only to the serene flow of the river and nothing else, when suddenly out of nowhere there was a splash followed by a curse.

His brows creased and his eyes thinned as he tried to locate the source of that disturbance. Then several splashes were followed by more curses. His lips twisted confused as he finally saw the outline of a small canoe in the middle of the river rocking back and forth. Someone was in it making all this racket as they were trying to pull up some fishing nets. Thorin approached quietly and saw his maiden fighting with the nets and the rocking of her canoe. Her long red hair got entangled with her hands and her mouth began uttering words offensive enough to make Thorin frown surprised that she had such a fiery spirit hidden under her timid behaviour. He stood there quietly observing her for a few more moments before he spoke.

"I don't think this is working for you very well," he said casually.

She screeched, turned around, got her hair caught at the oar and fell down clumsily making the canoe take in some water.

A small unintentional snort broke free from him, "not well at all. Stay down," he told her and picked up the rope that kept the canoe tied on the shore, "I'll pull you in."

She nodded and tried to free her hair as he pulled the canoe in steadily, not caring much about his shore muscles or the mild reactivation of his wound. When her canoe hit the shore she looked up to see his hand offering her silent help. She didn't hesitate to take it and he easily pulled her out. First step she took on land was shaky and her foot got caught on a rock, sending her straight into Thorin's arms who steadied her, "clumsiness continues inland as I see," he said calmly. She felt his velvet vest under her palms and instantly the memory from that morning came to undo her. Her voice was not working at all. She just remained there, her eyes getting lost somewhere between the neckline of his royal blue tunic and his beard. He pushed her back gently and she found her footing, but not her collection.

"Thank you sir," her voice was weak.

"Are you trying to commit suicide?" He pulled back slightly in order to see her better. She looked out of sorts, but unharmed.

"Alas no. I was trying to pull up the nets for Bofur."

"Without any balance whatsoever you were closer to joining the nets in the frozen waters and not seeing Bofur at all," he teased.

"I know," she lowered her eyes feeling embarrassed.

"Why didn't you tell him to do it instead?"

"Because he asked me…"

He raised his brow in dissaproval.

"It was a fair deal," she felt her shoulders slouching defeated, "I was going to bring the fish, he was going to cook it for me".

"So you wanted to impress him with your boldness, by daring this difficult task in the middle of a frozen night".

She sighed, "I didn't want to disappoint him no. He is the only one that treated me with such kindness since I arrived at Erebor."

"The only one?" He frowned.

She winced feeling trapped under his intense blue gaze, "Along with you and your sister and Bombur and Bifur and mister Bilbo and mister Balin and mister Dori and young Ori…oh and that elf Tauriel...damn that's a lot of people being nice with me", she suddenly realised.

He chuckled and stepped on the canoe to pick up the nets himself, "you sound mildly intoxicated."

"What?"

"Drunk", he explained.

"The ale got to my head, didn't it?" she grabbed her temples feeling them throbbing.

"Now it makes sense how he convinced you to dance like that," he said and pulled the nets out with an ease that rubbed off the wrong way in her.

"You noticed?" She cringed not knowing which boulder to lift and get under.

"Was unable not to, you did it right up to my face," he said and dropped the nets next to her boots.

"I am so sorry Sir", her eyes looked disappointed.

"Don't feel sorry for having fun. Now, pick up your fish and take them to your man," he cleaned his hands on his pants.

His words stung. "He is not my man! He is just a friend!"

"You two could have easily fooled me," his mouth tilted up in a lopsided smile.

"No sir, you have this all wrong" she looked up at him totally crestfallen, but he missed that look.

He shook his head, "Don't worry there is no harm done here. He must be waiting for his fish, now go." He shooed her away.

"And you?" She looked sadly at the fish that were thrashing about.

"I will remain here a while longer. Not in any real mood to go back." His voice turned doleful.

She bit her lower lip, "Neither am I"

He looked up with a suspicious frown.

"Sir", she added timidly.

"You wish to remain also?" He continued feeling more than doubtful.

She gave him a quiet nod and looked at her hands "if I don't bother you too much."

"What about his fish?" Thorin's gaze was quizzically intense but she didn't see it.

"How about we throw them back in? I don't want to see them thrashing about desperate for water and I am not in the mood to eat them," she looked up to him yearningly.

"That's an offence to Bofur for sure," he noted carefully.

She snorted feeling giddy, "Didn't know that saving fish could be offensive."

"Throwing away offered food is," he rejoined.

"Can I not care just for tonight Sir?" She felt the sides of her mouth turning down.

He smiled and picked up the nets, "tell him I did it, so you won't lose your good graces with him," he said and emptied all the fish back into the river.

"Can I not care about that either, Sir?" She continued in the same tone.

"How much did you drink?" He smirked.

"Enough to feel happy for once in my life. Enough not to fear each step I take. Enough to not feel embarrassed about the way I look," she murmured feeling on the verge of tears when only a moment ago she was giddy as hell.

He sobered up "That run deeper than I had anticipated".

"Me too" she said quickly, "and don't think I don't know," her hiccup made him snort once more.

"Know what?"

"That you are not the proper person to address in this manner." She raised her finger and shook her head in austerity.

He crossed this arms and lifted his chin up against the frozen breeze, "but you cannot control your intoxicated version and I happened to stumble upon it."

She looked up to see in shock that he was smiling, "Yes more or less."

He shook his head and the smile echoed in his beautiful eyes.

"So why don't you want to go back?" She forgot to add the Sir and he forgot to notice.

"If I hear one more word about hair styles in the Iron Hills I will commit suicide, and if I see that lieutenant kissing my sister's hand one more time I will commit murder." He said sternly.

"Sounds like a terrible crossroad," she cringed.

He smirked, "It is, so I escaped here. The silence of this place is much more appealing."

"I ruined it for you with my clumsiness then," her eyes looked disappointed.

"No, actually you enhanced it with your intoxicated version, which is much more alluring than any conversation at the gathering," he added cheekily.

Not ever expecting such a turn from him caused her to blush down to her big toes and try to hide under her long mane.

"Colour of cheeks now matches the colour of your hair. Rather nice," he hummed thoughtfully.

"Stop please, Sir," her voice was barely heard.

"I am making you feel embarrassed, I will stop indeed," his eyes burned through her skin.

"No, don't stop sir," she hurried to correct herself.

His deep laugh resonated through her spine making her very aware of his imposing presence, "Can you get drunk more often?"

She looked at him dumbfounded.

"This is the first time since this accursed adventure began that I've felt the need to laugh", a dark shadow stained his eyes.

"And me to feel happy," she felt her eyes welling by the honesty of her admittance to the most improbable person in Erebor.

His eyes seared into her, "Happiness suits you", he spoke softly.

She felt her heart stopping and her lungs felt in need of more air.

He smiled, "I can certainly see what it is that Bofur saw in you."

"Sir…" she muttered.

"I know…please stop, right?" Her eyes got lost at the sweet tilt at the side of his mouth.

She nodded with a mesmerised smile.

"Yeah thought as much…" he looked at her with an appreciative smile, "You need to learn to accept compliments from men with grace, without stumbling at a loss for words."

"I am not used to compliments," she muttered weakly.

"Let's fix that. I foresee that you you will need that skill in the future".

"What?!" Her eyes flew open.

"That was another compliment, just to make it clear," he was delighted by her bashful nature and how nice it felt to tease her just in order to get a response.

She cupped her cheeks and felt sweat breaking on her forehead no matter the frozen air hitting her face, "Stop sir please!"

"You just changed the order of the words in the same damned sentence. That was not graceful," he noted mischievously.

"I..I…" She cringed at her ability to sound like a complete moron.

"Just say thank you," he gazed at her lightheartedly.

She winced, "I don't think I can"

"Shall we give this another try?" He straightened.

She nodded with uncertainty.

"Incoming, are you ready?" He smirked.

She giggled and covered her mouth "Nope".

He laughed heartily and she smiled. Then his eyes bore into hers and as he spoke his awkward mirth slowly melted into a serious gaze that tore into her very soul "Your company is unexpectedly pleasurable my lady."

His deep voice echoed into her stomach that clenched in excitement and she felt her lips trembling and the blood drain from her face.

"Your reply?" His voice was strangely hushed and that made her stomach clench even harder.

"Thank you sir" she whispered.

He shook his head, "Omit the Sir."

"Thank you" she tried again and his eyes fell to her well formed lips.

"That didn't sound as self-assured as I would have liked," his eyes returned to hers demanding.

"Scared" she felt her voice crackling.

He frowned momentarily taken aback, "I beg your pardon?"

"That sounded totally terrified. The King of Erebor speak to me this way? Are you by any chance slightly intoxicated also Sir? " she hurried through before her courage abandoned her. She wanted him to understand how much this was affecting her, even though he was obviously just having fun with her, probably because he was drunk also.

He huffed, "I might be a bit tipsy".

She lowered her eyes and pressed her lips, "now it makes sense."

"What does?"

"That you are giving me the time of day…" she muttered and smiled at her palms.

Thorin's face gained a sudden clarity, but he avoided that path with relative ease, "You think that's what this is? Me being drunk?"

She nodded, "and me also."

He inhaled deeply and looked at her cautiously, "I think it would be wise not to rush into conclusions. Now to get back on topic. You still owe me a sweet thank you. Willing to try again?"

"Thank you," she forced a sweet smile on her lips, hoping for the best.

His smile made her heart clench "Much better. I think you are ready for Bofur's courting now."

She shook her head vigorously without meaning to "I don't want to go back to him."

He looked at her confused "After all the trouble we went through? Why not?"

"Because our talk makes me happier than any crazy dance," she smiled truly embarrassed.

He raised his brow appreciatively "You've learned how to accept a compliment and also made one. That's quite a progress."

She smiled widely "I didn't offend you Sir with my honesty?"

"It's the -Sir- that offends me in this conversation," he pressed his lips.

She gave him a quick nod "Thank you for helping me tonight."

"and thank you for being a pleasant break during these bleak and dark days," the unhindered answer made her look down.

"If only I could do that all the time, I would Sir."

He rolled his eyes and huffed.

"I take the -Sir- back…Sir," she cupped her forehead truly bewildered.

He stood up and offered his hand "This is going to be a nightmare for you isn't it?"

"Yes", She took his offer and he pulled her up.

That is when the sky went bright again from another series of Gandalf fireworks. Several ponies close to them became rather restless.

"Poor creatures are very scared," she noted and looked over.

He gazed at her thoughtfully for a few moments and then moved towards the ponies, "Come" he beckoned her.

She followed with an excited smile, just knowing that he was going to remain a while longer with her.

"How good are you with these animals?" He asked and took the reigns of the one that seemed the most fearsome.

"Good enough to use them for transport" she said with simplicity and came up behind him.

"Ever tried to calm one down?" He looked back at her.

"No"

"Want to learn?" He flicked his brow.

She smiled, "Yes."

His long fingers wrapped around her arm and he pulled her over gently, "This is the night were you learn how to enjoy your fearlessness, Eilin Firebeard." He said majestically and she fell into his spell easily.

She nodded mesmerised as he began caressing the neck of the horse. He kept the reigns tight with one hand and leaned over until his forehead was touching the pony's. "hush my beauty, down, stand down…" he whispered with a soothing tone and his hand caressed it's neck steadily. Indeed after a few moments the animal began calming down under his influence even though the fireworks hadn't stopped yet.

"These animals are cowards by nature. They are tamed by us to be used in labour and war, but their instincts are to run away from a fight. Even proud stallions like the one that Thranduil gave me are afraid of sudden sounds or movement. It's the trust that they show in their rider that helps them overcome their fears and become …truly fearless in battle. They are quite different from war rams that have a nastily aggressive behaviour, but their speed and resilience make them a better choice by many."

She nodded entranced.

"You have to gain their trust first and then you have to approach them gently," he looked back at her and offered her his hand once more.

She placed her hand in his and he pulled her in front of him, "Gain it's trust. Let the animal see who you are. Stand always in front of it."

She did as she was told.

"Now caress it's forehead and move slowly towards it's neck," he said and she raised her hand and caressed the pony's head. It neighed and she laughed lightly.

"Speak to it..sooth it down," he whispered and she felt the hair on her arms standing on attention.

"Hush... everything is going to be okay. Don't let them scare you, they are going to stop…they are going to go away, they won't hurt you anymore…" the softness of her voice and the words that came unbidden from the depths of her mind were suddenly not addressed to the horse but herself. A sudden welling choked her throat and her eyes filled with unexpected tears. She heard the shallow breathing of the horse and felt it's rough fur under her fingers, but what she didn't expect was to meet his fingers at the end of her caress. She opened her eyes and felt the tears standing there at the edge unreleased. Then his azure eyes seared into hers with an intensity that made her knees melt to the ground.

"Those words were not meant for the pony, were they?" He whispered.

She closed her eyes and the first tears rolled down her cheeks. She shook her head, "No, forgive me Sir. I just wanted to be a little happy tonight and I ruined it.. I always ruin it."

His eyes looked at her with a concern that would have made her cry even harder, had she seen it.

-.-

"Do you see this?" Balin asked and crossed his arms.

"Yes" Dwalin did the same.

"Where the hell is Bofur? Isn't he supposed to be courting this young woman?" Balin frowned.

"What are you asking me for? Ask him," Dwalin grumbled.

"And what is Thorin doing here instead of talking to Fain's daughter?"

"Probably saving his sanity," Dwalin smirked devilishly.

"You are not supposed to be endorsing this. She is a maiden and he is the King," Balin glowered.

Dwalin inhaled deeply and uncrossed his arms, "I helped him bury Siv and since then I haven't seen him approach another woman. Do you think I would try to stop him, if he was ever interested in this girl?"

Balin looked at him thoughtfully, "This is highly inappropriate, and he is answerable to many people. Including the seven clans. You are placing emotion in front of logic. That's dangerous."

Dwalin shook his head, "Thorin is answerable to no one. As long as he is happy, I couldn't care less, therefore I will let you flare your nostrils at this scene alone," he said flatly and marched off.

The old dwarf turned at Thorin and Eilin and felt his feathers ruffled more about the inability of his brother to understand the importance of this, than the way Thorin and Eilin were looking at each other. He inhaled deeply and walked towards them with heavy audible steps, "What are you two doing here?" He said moulding his voice to sound pleasantly surprised.

Thorin inhaled and looked up sharply and Eilin pulled back away from the horse shocked. That is when Balin noted that she was crying and instantly regret gripped his guts. Had he misread this scene? Was Thorin trying to calm this girl down for some reason? He reached out to steady her, "are you alright lassie?"

She pulled away and wiped her eyes, "Yes I am fine, excuse me my Lords," she turned around and run away faster than the wind.

Balin looked at Thorin feeling rather confused instead of decisive as he had originally intended, "did I mess up?" He asked.

Thorin closed his eyes and sighed, "Very untimely arrival. What the hell are you doing here?" He said and pulled the reigns above the pony's head.

"I was searching for you," Balin crossed his arms, "actually half the army, your sister and Fain's daughter are searching for you also."

"That's exactly why I left," Thorin said quietly.

Balin's shoulders deflated, "you don't feel well?"

"I feel tired Balin."

Balin pursed his lips and braced himself, "what was Eilin doing here?"

"Came to pick up Bofur's nets" Thorin pointed at the shore with his head.

Balin looked and nodded, "empty are they? Didn't they catch anything?"

"Balin you don't care about the fish, so out with it…" Thorin tied the pony's reigns securely on the fence.

"what happened to the girl? Why was she crying?" Balin asked carefully. He didn't want to annoy his friend who looked already bothered beyond recognition.

"I don't know, you didn't give me a chance to find out," his words were daggers as were his eyes.

"Maybe you should allow Bofur the honour of finding out then," Balin suggested.

Thorin's lips upturned in a distasteful smile, "don't put yourself in my father's boots Balin."

"I'd never dare."

"Then keep those subtle suggestions away from me. I will deal with things as I see fit," he said with a heavy loftiness that didn't accept a retort.

"Very well laddie," Balin crossed his arms concerned.

Thorin walked past him.

"Are you returning to the gathering?"

He shook his head, "I am going to rest, my wound is throbbing and my head is killing me. Thank everyone on my behalf," he said gravely.

"Gandalf wanted to talk to you," Balin said.

"I've talked enough to the grey wizard for a day…or for a lifetime, I am not sure yet," he replied mystically and crossed his arms behind his back.

"Fain's daughter is concerned also," Balin raised his voice.

"That is truly something I don't care about," he winced.

"Your sister…" Balin tried.

"Is that lieutenant around her still?" He stopped and looked above his shoulder.

"Dongar? No, he retired a while ago."

"Very well, tell her to come to my rooms if she needs me. Don't bother the Firebeard girl about tonight. This was not her doing, but mine." He said and resumed his tired walk.

Balin crossed his arms, "I figured out as much. I won't mess with her."

Thorin nodded and left the shore, leaving Balin alone to muse at the empty nets and on the calm pony as the snow began falling heavier than ever.


	18. A maiden's greatest fear

"These are Herlígur, Snorri, Viljormur, Rathsar and Motin. They are all blacksmiths and wanted to work the hammer again. Do you mind me bringing them down here?" Balin asked.

Thorin barely raised his eyes from his work and looked fleetingly at the newcomers, "By all means, all the working stations apart from this one have been empty for centuries. Make you pick," he said and looked back at the detailed carving of his dragon hilt.

"Herlígur, Viljormur and Rathsar are Dain's soldiers, and they asked specifically to remain and work in Erebor from now on," Balin said proudly.

"It is an immense pleasure to see people returning to their roots," Thorin said quietly and continued his work. His skin was glistening from sweat, but this time his hair was pulled back with several hair beads keeping his brow clear and undisturbed.

"Uzbad, we would like to bring over our families," Viljormur took a step forth and kneeled in front of him.

Thorin offered him a proud look, "of course."

"Thank you," the man touched his fist on his heart and moved back.

Balin showed the other two men, "Motin and Snorri have arrived with the immigration inflow which was rather intense during the last three days."

The men looked at each other sheepishly and kneeled down, "thank you for taking us in. The news of the Longbeards reclaiming Erebor had reached far. Many people are trying to return here", Snorri said.

"Your clan?" Thorin asked without honouring him with a glance.

"Stiffbeards from Orocarni, but my family migrated to the Grey mountains long ago. After the fall of Moria they came to Erebor and after it fell…we ended up in villages that were spread in the mountains."

"Welcome home," Thorin said and blew away the metal residue on the hilt to see the design better.

"Thank you my Lord, may I ask for something?" Snorri asked shyly.

Thorin nodded.

"My wife is a very good cook and would like to be stationed in the kitchens to help out. Maybe she can cook meals for you?"

"I've got a maiden, but I am sure Balin will find a place for you wife. No hands are to be idle inside this city if it is to be rebuild again," Thorin offered him a quick look.

Snorri bowed to the ground and pulled his friend from the sleeve to do the same, "Thank you my Lord," they said.

Balin led them away from Thorin slowly, "choose any station you wish for. I am sure that there are many broken hammers, axes and swords that need repair," he said with a smile as the men left, conversing between them quietly about how majestic this huge cavern looked.

Then Balin returned to Thorin and stood with his arms crossed above his anvil, "Masterful craftwork."

Thorin hummed.

"The blade is slightly curvier than usual. It's like a mix between elven and dwarven blades. Rather unusual design for you. Are you contesting with them who does it better?" Balin's voice was lively.

"I'd enter any such contest with pleasure," he rejoined confidently.

"And probably win with so much experience in your hands. What gem have you placed for the dragon's eye?" Balin's eyes cringed as he tried to make it out.

"One of the unused elven gems," Thorin said nonchalantly.

Balin's mouth dropped open, "well….very unexpected choice, but matches the design of the dragon immaculately"

"Goal is nothing less than perfect."

"Blade balance?" Balin asked critically.

Thorin picked it up and balanced it on his finger. Then he tossed it in the air and when it landed on his finger it balanced perfectly once more.

Balin smiled in satisfaction, "Perfect, but not finished yet."

Thorin shook his head, "no."

"That means that you will be buried here longer still…" Balin left the tail of the sentence to float in the air.

Thorin grasped it quickly and crushed it down to earth, "what do you want me to do? Brood over everyone's business? Lay in bed? Or sit in that haunted office and read my father's endless scrolls about how to run this city?"

Balin sighed, "You could go to the throne room and control everyone from there? Like you should have done from the beginning?"

"Don't patronise me," the hard retort.

"I am advising, as I always did," Balin continued calmly.

"I can control everything from down here very well," Thorin offered him a dark glance.

"I am well aware," Balin agreed.

"Then why do you mention the throne room? Just to annoy me?"

Balin inhaled patiently, "because that is where you belong laddie. Like it or not"

"I don't like it," he spat through gritted teeth and placed his tools down feeling his muscles weary, "but that doesn't mean I will ran this city less effectively".

"I don't worry about that, at all" Balin shook his head.

"Then all this has to do with your damn obsession with etiquette? Like me wearing the raven crown?" Thorin tilted his head and fixed his eyes on his friend.

"I am worried about you," Balin frowned.

"you are always worried about me," Thorin dismissed his and wiped his sweat away with a clean cloth.

"Even though you have taken command of the city very soon after waking up and things are running smoothly, I see a latent need to remain out of the spotlight Thorin."

"Your problem is me being out of the spotlight or the gem above my throne? You are talking about the Arkenstone," he said and wiped the hilt with a clean cloth carefully.

"The Arkenstone that belongs above your throne in your throne room, and you that belongs on that throne…You are all interlinked for Mahal's sake! Today we've had two crows coming in, from the Firebeards and the Broadbeams. We have four clans already answering to your call along with the Dain's IronHills who are here already. They are all sending over their lords and masters to swear an oath to your kingship under the King's gem." Balin said passionately.

"I am well aware."

"Where is the King's gem then?" Balin threw his hands in the air.

"and where is your patience?" Thorin's voice warned.

"Wanna know what I think?" Balin drew back and crossed his arms.

"No, but you will enlighten me anyway", Thorin sighed patiently.

"You don't want the Arkenstone back in your possession."

Balin's words caused Thorin's eyes to blaze towards the intricate hilt and his brows to come together in a dark frown.

"Am I wrong?" Balin continued.

Thorin glowered at his friend but didn't answer.

Balin cupped his forehead defeated, "I knew it, listen…"

Thorin cut him off, "I don't want it, but I will get it"

Balin drew back, "You think you will fall for it again?"

Thorin crossed his arms and released his foot from the bellows, "Yes, I am." His simple and honest answer shook Balin who sat upon the anvil.

"After all you've been through? You have conquered this damned sickness my friend."

"I won't know unless I take this thing in my hands, and I am not in a hurry to do that," Thorin admitted.

Balin opened his mouth to speak, but Thorin spoke over him again.

"But the Arkenstone shall return in these halls, despite my own personal hell with it".

Balin nodded in understanding and caressed his long beard, "I will do everything in my power to help you through this laddie."

Thorin closed his eyes with a soft smile, "I know."

Balin smiled, "I thought you were going to make my life hell about it. You know deny me, dismiss me, avoid to talk about it. Thankfully I was mistaken", the relief was obvious in his eyes.

"Why would I avoid to talk about what's bothering me so much to you Balin...You practically know everything about me. What grass have you been smoking tell me..." he hesitated and then cringed and rubbed his forehead, "If it's Gandalf's old Toby please share, because I am on edge all the time".

Balin laughed heartily, "I guess I didn't judge this correctly. Now as to what I am on, I'll tell you. Not grass but food. You know the tasty roots, vegetables and meat we cook and then place in our mouths and chew down to our bellies? The thing you have been avoiding and you are slowly losing weight? Which is something that a strong muscle system like yours, cannot afford!"

Thorin looked at Balin's rather plump belly and raised his brow, "you want to fatten me up?"

"I want to sustain you laddie," Balin sobered up.

Thorin passed his hand from his hair tiredly, "I will try, okay?"

"Is your stomach still giving you trouble? Oin told me the wound is healing up nicely, but internally it will need much longer. He thinks he can remove some of the stitches in a couple of days to allow you some freedom of movement".

"When I ride it's bothering me and when I try to train it's giving me hell, but nothing I cannot handle."

"You've been out training? You know it's too soon. Dwalin didn't tell me anything," Balin frowned critically.

"He doesn't know. I am on it alone," Thorin's lips twitched.

Balin raised his brow, "I think you need someone to accompany you. If you don't want Dwalin, chose someone from the army".

Thorin looked up, "speaking of which, where you in the dining room this morning?"

Balin nodded, "everyone but you was there."

"Was that lieutenant sitting with my sister again?"

Balin felt his shoulders slouching, "yes."

Thorin gathered himself, "Inform him that I wish to have a word".

Balin lips drew thin, "he is in trouble isn't he?"

Thorin nodded, "Most definitely".

Balin looked around thoughtfully, "he looks like a decent man."

"Looks can be deceiving."

"Very well laddie. Now what about your food. You must eat something, please," Balin's eyes looked concerned.

"Fine, bring me down whatever is available," Thorin shook his head.

"Should I tell Eilin to bring what she cooked this morning?" Balin's voice held a very discreet tone that made Thorin look up curiously.

"Surely you must know that I have told her to return to the service of my sister for a couple of days now."

"Yet you said to that man that you have a maiden," came the retort.

"Because I don't want another one thrown in my lap, thank you very much," Thorin shook his head and picked up his chisel again.

"Thank heavens," Balin exhaled.

At that Thorin looked up again and his brow clouded, "what for?"

"That this girl will remain away from you. I might be an old man misreading things, but I saw something more than what propriety orders between you and her, and that worries me".

Thorin felt suddenly irritated and he didn't know why, "Meaning?"

"That night at the river…" Balin began.

"You've bothered me about that evening more than once and I told you that I simply had a nice conversation with this girl. It was just a pleasant break, but even if it was more than that, why would I have to answer to you or anyone for it?" Thorin clouded dangerously.

"You know I would never get in the middle of your love affairs," Balin said, "But…"

"Because there was only ever one and you learned about it long after it was over. Now go on," Thorin said dryly.

Balin leaned his hands on the anvil, "Thorin this girl is beautiful I know. Bofur knows and several soldiers too. We are not blind. She is uncommonly pretty and alluring, but she is also a maiden. Luck threw her into the lap of your sister and then she ended up next to you. If it wasn't for that lucky break you wouldn't have known she existed. You are worlds apart. She is not a woman you must get involved with. Leave her for Bofur. They are a match made in heaven. Haven't you noticed how they look at each other?"

Thorin felt his heart firing up, "Oh you are out to piss me off."

"Do my words piss you off?" Balin frowned critically.

Thorin gritted his teeth.

"Maybe they do because you want out of this girl something more than just chit chat and you feel jealous," Balin threw at him.

"Still I don't know why I have to answer to you for that…" Thorin replied angrily.

Balin leaned forwards, "I will ask you clearly. Do you like her?"

"Sure, she's a pleasant girl," Thorin raised his brow, "inside her awkwardness".

"No, you are not getting away so easily. Thorin do you fancy her?" Balin said angrily.

Thorin's eyes thinned and there was a warning spark hidden in them, but his mouth upturned in sly smile.

Balin struck his palm on the anvil, "damn you!"

"Calm down!" Thorin's voice fell like a hammer.

Balin turned around, "I wouldn't have cared if we were back in the Blue mountains, but here in Erebor, where you have to unite the seven families under your command, things are a bit more difficult. You have to think clearly!"

"You remind me so much of my father right now that you are rising a hell inside me," Thorin's voice dropped.

"I am trying to protect the throne of Erebor, from wrong choices," Balin said.

"So did he," Thorin's eyes looked thunderous.

"There are things about her you don't know. Things that would raise the hair on the back of your neck," Balin pressed on.

"Something more important than her lowly status?" Thorin said sarcastically.

Balin drew back, "I didn't want to discuss such personal details, but you are giving me no choice. I have to shake you to your senses. This girl is unfortunately damaged goods. She's been raped."

Thorin's face sobered up and his eyes dilated, "What?"

Balin rubbed his forehead, "poor creature I am sad to say has been raped."

"by dwarves?" Thorin's voice sounded dangerously deep.

"No...lesser men. No good low lives, probably travellers from the dark lands".

His head lifted up loftily and his eyes spat the very fires of hell onto Balin.

"You don't want to get involved with her for more than one reasons don't you see? Status wise, none of the seven families will accept their King messing around with his maiden. Ethically wise, this girl is damaged. It was not her fault and I am not accusing her of anything. She was a poor victim, but still you cannot. You mustn't! There are other men of great value that can offer her the happiness she deserves. Like Bofur", Balin reasoned.

"So you are telling me all this to protect the throne of Erebor, correct?" Thorin's lips turned down disgusted.

"As I always did. Will you heed my advice?" Balin looked highly troubled, by the coldness with which Thorin was dealing with this shocking new piece of information.

Thorin's head tilted slightly in a move that could have been mistaken either way.

Balin not at all certain of Thorin's intentions decided that it was time to pull back his claws, "At least you have taken her off your service. That's a step to the right direction."

Thorin leaned back and crossed his arms, "What about my food?"

Balin's face brightened up with a cautious smile, "Very well, I will bring it down laddie."

"Tell Eilin to bring it," his voice fell deep and Balin paled.

"No, Thorin…please," he attempted.

"Tell my reinstated maiden to bring me the food Balin. Thank you," he said casually and returned to his work on the hilt with an air that dismissed any further rebukes.

Balin rubbed his eyes and exhaled exasperated, "your stubbornness will be your downfall this time for certain," he muttered as he turned to leave.

Thorin's eyebrow rose to the ceiling, but he didn't look up from his work, "if you hadn't tried so hard to resemble my father, things might have gone your way."

Balin stopped with his back turned, "If you are doing this as an act of rebellion against your dead father, know that you are endangering the throne of this stronghold to Dain."

"Fili comes before him", his eyes rose in a glare of forewarning and his next words froze Balin's blood. "Besides I might be willing to risk this bloody throne for much deeper reasons than a simple rebellion".

Balin closed his eyes in defeat and nodded, "Very well laddie. I cannot do anything more. I will tell your maiden to bring your food."

"Thank you," Thorin said and offered Balin's back a sad look that his friend missed.

"Just be careful," Balin send above his shoulder quietly.

"Always," Thorin whispered at himself and returned to work on his sword, never forgetting the words of Balin. Especially what he said about the fate of that girl in the hands of men. He used the adrenaline that had saturated his blood to forge the blade of his sword smooth like a mirror. Long after he began carving the runes of it's name, in self-assured strikes, did his blood began cooling down. Just when his work emptied all his emotions and thoughts once more, the voice of Eilin brought everything to the foreground with a vengeance.

"My Lord, Mister Balin told me to bring your food," she said.

He looked up and for the first time his eyes looked at her under a different light. Balin's tries to protect the throne only served as a stepping stone for Thorin to observe her much more carefully than he would have done after that night at the river if things had been left alone. Partially free from the pain of his wound and mildly calmer from the loss of his nephew, he caught himself checking her out. Needing to validate what it was that Bofur had seen in her...but above all what he had seen in her that night at Ravenhill, that night at the training grounds and above all that night at the river.

"Leave it at the anvil," he said calmly.

She approached and left him a tray that had a plate of roasted meat and some potatoes along with a bottle of ale and a wooden cup, "Do you need anything else my Lord?"

He returned to carving the runes on the blade more because he needed to recompose himself, than anything else, "Did Balin inform you about the new order of things?"

She nodded, "He said I was reinstated at your service."

"Do you have a problem with that?"

"Of course not my Lord."

"Will you be able to handle the load from me and my sister?"

"Of course my Lord".

He nodded quietly, "Very well, If there isn't anything else you can go".

She cleared her throat and closed her eyes to take on courage, "May I be allowed to speak to you about something that ails me deeply my Lord?"

"Certainly".

After several moments where she was messing with the edge of her flared sleeves, the internal debate in her mind was finally settled and she decided to speak out her concerns, "I believe that the Gods blessed me with the opportunity to be once again in your presence my Lord. Therefore please allow me to offer my deepest apologies and to thank you for giving me a second chance to mend things".

"Apologise about what?" He looked up with a confused frown.

"For offending you", she pressed her lips regretfully .

"When did that happen?"

Her fingers twisted on her skin and he noticed, "That drunken night at the river shore…" she felt her voice diminishing.

Thorin's head tilted slowly in realisation, "Oh, I see. How did you come to the conclusion that I was offended by you that evening?"

She bit her lower lip and kept looking at the cracks of the intricate geometrical patterns of the floor, "you dismissed me off your service the very next morning" she muttered feeling her heart palpitating.

A small smile appeared on his lips that she didn't see, "Has this been eating you up, since then?"

She nodded quickly and felt her eyes welling.

"Is that why I didn't see you anywhere? Where you hiding from me?" He continued calmly.

Another nod, "I am sorry if I offended you that night my Lord. It was the alcohol in my body. I am not used to it. I spoke way too freely to you and I shouldn't have. I didn't act according to propriety towards the King… and mister Balin…"

"Did Balin speak to you?" His voice turned a tone darker.

She looked up quickly, "no, of course not, but I saw how he looked at me. I shouldn't have been there. I shouldn't have talked to you this way. I am sorry".

He leaned over his work again, but the smile never left his lips, "The only thing that bothered me that night is that unfinished sentence from you, when you ran away".

She closed her eyes tight and bit her lower lip, "It was a slip of the tongue".

"It sounded painful", he looked up from his sword.

She felt her face paling and her neck crawling with fear, "You are not the only one suffering from nightmares, Sir".

He nodded, "Your words pointed clearly at that".

"My Lord, if my attitude was not offensive, then why did you dismiss me from your service the next morning?" She spoke after a long silent moment that she was aching to know the truth.

"The deal with my sister was to keep you until my nephew's burial. I overlapped it for a couple of days, which was not nice on my part", he said nonchalantly.

"That's it?!" She deflated feeling a ton of weight lifted from her shoulders.

"Sit," he showed her the anvil, "before you collapse. Yes, that's it. You can put your guilt at rest. You've done nothing wrong".

She did as she was told and looked down at his sword as he began working on it again, "Thank you Sir. It's the greatest relief to know that I have not failed you", she said and wiped away her eyes.

He shook his head, "Of course you haven't".

She nodded and her eyes left the sword and checked the muscles of his forearms as he hammered the runes carefully onto the blade. Then up to his sweaty tunic, his half revealed muscular shoulder and then at his hair that were pulled away from his face, revealing his pointy ear with a golden ear-ring on top. She gulped a whole bout of unease in her lower stomach and her fingers picked up a small chisel and began channeling her nervousness through fidgeting, "that's beautiful, Sir".

"I didn't intend for it to become so intricate, but sometimes the hand chooses what to carve instead of the mind," he said absently as his work had drawn him easily back in again.

"It is absolutely breathtaking. Have you been working the anvil for long?" She asked and pressed the pointy edge of the tool on her forefinger, enjoying the pressure on her skin. Needing something to ground her to their talk instead of drifting off to the impossibility of this situation.

"A little less than two centuries," he said casually.

Her mouth dropped open and she gasped.

"I am a bit ancient and if that is not enough to scare you away, I don't know what will be," he smiled lightly.

She bit her lower lip, "Doesn't scare me away at all".

"Good", he tilted his head.

"How come you decided to work this trade?" She frowned and leaned over to observe his impeccable use of the sharp tools as he carved the tiniest details out of the runes on the blade.

"Thrain gave us a choice of trade when we became of age, at fifteen or something…I don't remember", he waved his hand absently, "I admired our blacksmiths since I was old enough to understand what they were doing. My mother said that when I was a baby she brought me down to these very forging stations in Erebor and even though I was crying myself blue because I was teething, the moment I heard a hammer falling on the anvil I stopped and looked up mesmerised. After that point whenever I was having a crying fit she brought me down here and I always calmed down. I still use this trade to calm down…two hundred years later", he smiled and returned his attention to the blade.

"But why did you have to learn a trade? I mean you are royals, you don't need to have a trade. You command whole cities of gold", she looked at him with unhidden admiration.

He offered her a quick look, "No that's not how dwarven families work. Everyone must choose a trade and perfect it, no matter if they are lords, soldiers or simple workmen. My grandfather used to say -learn a trade and use it to feed your family in times of need-. This trade fed my family when we went in exile. It provided us with the essentials for many years when we lived in the Dunlands outcasts and poor, much like yourself".

"Princess Dis?" She frowned.

"She is an amazing embroider", he smirked slyly.

She drew in her lips thoughtfully, "I shouldn't always get so surprised at how empathetic you and your sister are my Lord, towards me. You both know what it feels like to live on the road with no roof above your head and no food in your stomach".

He smiled, "I know the difficulties, yes".

She nodded heavily.

"Haven't you learned any trades back at the tavern then? Anything to sustain you outside of it?" He looked up briefly.

"All the things I am doing for you and your sister now. I can cook, saw, clean, plow the earth -of which I am very good at-, I've worked as a trader for my tavern when I was growing vegetables and sold them over at Bree, I've worked the stables and I can milk cows, sheeps and goats as well as groom horses and rams -but I have a difficulty with pigs, they don't seem to like me- and also I can do a bit of hunting".

"Many skills all gathered under a very modest exterior. Hunting?" He raised his brow.

"I am pretty tolerable with a bow", she cringed, feeling uncomfortable saying anything nice about herself.

"Oh, I am certain you are indeed. All this decisiveness I've come across when you battled through the harsh elements to get to me, must have a point of release", he noted.

She bit her lower lip, "Thank you".

The sweetness of her voice was not lost in him, "Our session at the river is paying off. You are receiving compliments with much better grace".

"I am trying at least".

"Is Bofur showering you with them everyday?"

Her cheeks blushed, "He tries, I mean I think so…" she exhaled feeling embarrassed to the bone.

He looked up from his work waiting for her to continue.

She pressed the pointy tool harder on her thumb this time wanting to concentrate on what to tell him that would cause an impression, "Well, he did tell me today that I shoot a bow nicely, and he offered to give me some archery lessons."

Thorin shook his head knowingly, "I bet he did. What was your answer?"

"I accepted," she bit her lower lip knowing that this part was not something that should have been said to him.

Thorin raised his brows, "Rather prudent choice. Bofur is a very good archer and with the woods around crawling with wild animals and orcs it is always an advance to be able to defend yourself".

She raised her brows feeling relieved that he didn't seem offended, "Yes, that was my idea as well" she said and then hissed loudly. The tool had broken through her skin. She threw it on the anvil and sucked the blood off her thumb, "damn", she muttered.

He looked up calmly, "playing with dangerous tools you don't know how to handle, might get you in trouble," he said with a profound undertone that made her look at him quickly.

"I…" she muttered and pressed her thumb that spilled blood over his exceptional blade, "I am sorry, I will wipe it off," she made to get up, but he caught her arm and pushed her down again.

He reached out and took an unused cloth. He dipped it in clear water, that he hadn't used for forging yet, and cleaned carefully the blood that had created as small rivulet from her thumb down to her wrist, "This sword will spill a lot of blood when it sees action. Let it feel some now as it is born on the anvil," his deep voice resonated through her spine as he took care of her small puncture.

She felt too spellbound for words.

His eyes raised slowly and captured hers in a fiery tug of war, were neither was willing to lose. They remained there almost transfixed, as his fingers encircled her small wrist easily and he pressed her wound firmly to stop the blood. There in the midst of this bewitchment her mind as always took another turn inside it's dark pathways and she felt the slight restriction of his hand, not welcoming anymore, but intrusive. She remember another pair of hands that had wrapped around her wrists bruising them as she was forced with her face upon a wall, forced to submission. She knew the King was not touching her in the same manner. Hell, she didn't want him to draw back from her, but her subconscious kicked hard and ruined everything for her …again….like it always did. She felt her hand trembling under his and she pulled hard to get it free. The move was so instinctual that she cringed and felt tears coming to her eyes, exactly because she wanted to do the opposite, but her body was not cooperating. She wanted to slap herself to reason, or possibly cry herself insane, but suddenly all her jerks to get released were forced to stop as his hand tightened harder around her wrist.

His voice spoke quietly and his eyes held a clarity that she missed as hers had closed down long ago, "You fear something."

She nodded quickly.

"What is it you fear?" He asked smoothly.

She choked on her words, "trapped…I don't want to feel trapped".

"What happened Eilin Firebeard to cause all this fear in you?" His voice was grave, but somehow grounded her.

"I was raped", she exhaled defeated, not wanting to ever open her eyes again.

"Such a grim fate", he continued with the same even tone that kept her securely there with him, away from the nightmares in her mind.

Her pulling loosened under his grip slowly.

"My hold on your hand is making you feel trapped…you fear therefore a similar fate?" His brows clouded.

"Sir, you are my King. You can do anything you wish to me…" she muttered.

His voice became chagrined, "Do you think this is how things work in Erebor?"

She inhaled deeply, but kept her eyes closed tight.

"No", he whispered and drew her hand up to his mouth to offer her an impossibly warm and soft kiss. The roughness of his beard enhanced her senses to the point where instead of a sob, there was a gasp that left her mouth. She opened up her eyes unable to believe what she had felt and what she was seeing. He pulled back and released her hand, "Not in this stronghold. You are free to return to my sister Eilin. I am not going to hurt you and neither will anyone else within these walls. You are safe".

She cradled her hand and rubbed her skin, not to erase his touch, but to enhance the tingling feeling that lingered there and was spreading towards her forearm and inside her mind. She was at a complete loss for words. Within seconds he shifted her from feeling terrified to feeling warm and fuzzy beyond belief.

"Sir?" She murmured.

"Your fears are unfounded", his beautiful eyes smiled kindly at her.

She felt the warmth of his soft kiss gliding down her chest and pooling into her stomach, "my Lord?" She repeated, not trusting her voice to deliver. Her heart was beating like a drum and echoed in her ears.

He looked up quietly.

"In which world does a King kiss the hand of maiden and not to the opposite?" She omitted his title on purpose this time.

"In a world where a man respects a woman no matter their titles", came the steady rebuke.

She paled and her fingers tightened around each other painfully. Her eyes overflowed with tears and she kneeled in front of him, "Years ago when I left the tavern I never utilised my one and only opportunity to come to the Blue Mountains, because I found the prospect of meeting the Durin's folk terrifying. Yet, ever since I met them they have all been treating me with such kindness, the liking of which I have never felt in my life. You and your sister have treated me like a human being worth of respect, not like trash. I can never thank you enough, and I can never swear my loyalty to your family hard enough unless I spill my blood for you, which I will do if needed. My gratefulness cannot be expressed with words, but only with actions. Thank you for allowing me to see the honour and grace that resonates from King Oakenshield. All the ballads in the world couldn't do it justice", her words were half broken and many times did she stop to wipe away her face. At that moment she wanted someone to hug her and tell her that all this was not some figment of her imagination.

"You can only see the King in me…." His voice sounded slightly regretful.

She looked up quickly with eyes full of worry, "How can I not? Help me, tell me how not to see him, because his brightness blinds everything else away from my eyes". How could she ever admit to him that she saw much more than the King without compromising this thin balance? She couldn't even dare to consider that as an option, never mind acting on it. She may have been pining on him from afar, she may have even creeped up on him while he slept, but admitting all that to his face would have been a folly, even if his words back there sounded regretful.

He stood up and walked over to her, "that night at the river bank, was he there?"

She felt her heart palpitating, "No…I mean well okay a small part of him was", she smiled against all odds.

Exceeding all expectations he came down to her level on one knee, "Know what? I miss the slightly intoxicated Eilin that tried to commit suicide by catching her hair on the oars of her boat", he smiled.

"Why?", she whispered afraid to look up at him.

"She looked willing to be happy, not full of guilt, fear and regret", His face was grave but his gaze had a calm sweetness in it that she unfortunately missed.

A sob escaped her throat, "That Eilin always tries to be happy, but always fails".

His eyes became grim, "that's a deeply unsettling thought".

She shook her head trying to send away the darkness that always resonated from within, "When that Eilin is drunk it's easier to feel happier".

"Let's try to make her happy more often without the use of alcohol then. So tell me, why are you crying now?" He frowned.

Her stomach twisted in a rather delicious way, "These are not tears of sadness, but tears of gratefulness and happiness…" a timid smile broke on her lips.

He offered her his hand which she kept looking like a bloody idiot for several moments, "That's at least a small relief. Now take my hand and stop kneeling in front of the bloody King because you are annoying the poor man", he said.

She huffed and wiped her tears away, "Thank you, my Lord," she said and clasped his hand gently. He pulled her up easily and her heart smiled up at him.

He averted his eyes and filled her a cup of water, "Omit the title and try using my name instead".

She looked up suddenly, "What? surely you must be jesting!"

"Drink up, before you faint on me again", he offered.

"I could never call you by your given name in front of people…" her mouth dropped open.

"Do you see anyone else here apart from us two?" His eyes thinned and he placed the cup in her hand as she was not making an attempt to take it. Then he turned and dipped another clean cloth in the water bucket.

She shook her head shocked beyond reason and drank, "No…"

"Then next time try to use it", he pursed his lips and came over with the cloth, "You need to cool down your eyes, they are bloodshot", he said and gave it to her.

"Thank you…ufff", she bit her lower lip stopping herself just in time from using his title once more.

That made him snort, "Nice effort, now add the name".

She tried to force his name out of her mouth, but the effort was so hard that she became red in the face and that made him chuckle.

"This is going to kill you, forget it", he shook his head.

"Brave!" She exclaimed and covered her mouth with the wet cloth. Her wide eyes looked at him in shock.

He laughed then and she felt her heart opening up to him, "I didn't ask you to tell me it's meaning. Use my name or I will start calling you -bird-", he noted.

"Thorin!" She chirped and covered her mouth again, this time hiding a playful smile behind it, her fear backing away quickly.

He raised his hand, "See? Very good, did that feel scary?"

"Terrifying, but rather nice also", she said and pulled the cloth away from her mouth.

"Much like me then," his lips had turned in a small side smile.

"How many times can I ever thank you for what you are doing for me?" She averted her eyes and looked somewhere between his muscular forearms and the royal sigil on the knee of his trousers.

"Thank me by smiling more often and crying less. The cheerful Eilin of the river just made a guest appearance for a moment back there and I liked that", he said and crossed his hands in front of his knees.

Her hand reached out and touched the sigil on his trousers, even though her mind cried out that she should pull it back and stop taking liberties of such proportions, "I don't want to stop wearing your sigil".

"You won't", he frowned.

"Ever", she looked up at him and their eyes locked.

"Uzbâd", Dongar's fist touched his heart and he looked towards his boots respectfully, chastising himself for catching the King's maiden with her hand on his knee.

Eilin inhaled sharply and pulled back from him.

Thorin looked up unruffled, "Lieutenant Dongar…" his voice became dark and deep and Eilin looked at him worried. She felt the shift of the energy around him to the dark side the moment this man appeared.

"you asked for me my Lord?" Dongar remained kneeling and kept his eyes away from the King and the princess's maiden. He was certain he saw something he wasn't supposed to have seen.

His shadowed eyes thinned upon the lieutenant, "I did…" he trailed off checking out every single inch of this imprudent man that was salivating around his sister more often than not.

"What services would you require out of me my Lord?" Dongar asked.

"Return to my sister Eilin and thank you for your assistance. If I need your services further I will inform you," his voice was heavy and authoritative, but his eyes were warm and kind on her.

She bowed, "very well my Lord."

As she turned around and walked away from Thorin's forging station she heard him speak in a voice that raised the hair on the back of her neck with apprehension.

"As for you lieutenant…a few words about yourself and your family would be a good place to start."

She winced and quickened her steps, feeling sorry for that kind lieutenant and a little guilty for monopolising a side of the King that this man would apparently never know. A side that comforted her in ways she had never thought possible. Her fixed ideas about how men treated women began shifting when she first stepped foot in Erebor, but today they had been shattered to dust by his deeply respectful and gentle ways. His attitude tore away her greatest fears, if only for a little while, with an ease that knocked the air out of her lungs and made her hopeful once more.

This hidden side of his left her tense beyond belief and she didn't know what to do to erase that silly smile that was printed permanently on her lips. She stopped and flicked her shoulders playfully. Hell….she couldn't care less. She was going to enjoy that twisting tightness that pooled in her stomach since he kissed her hand, and forget regret and guilt like he told her. She wouldn't have changed this day for all the gold in the world. With that uplifting thought her quick steps became a carefree ran up to the kitchens that made a couple of ladies lean towards each other and whisper, "look at that bouncing ball of mirth. Wonder what's gotten into her. She was almost depressive an hour ago".

The other lady flicked her shoulders disinterested, "Maybe she smoked some of the weed they are keeping for the royals down at the dungeons. She's their maiden after all".


	19. The rise of a King

_Thorin's palms steadied the strings of the harp and the magical flow of music into his chambers stopped. His eyes fell on his nephews that were sitting in front of the fire. They didn't seem bothered by all these men that had just arrived and were looking heavily at Thorin, neither that their uncle had stopped playing their favourite song. Young Kili was struggling to write down his name in the Angerthas-Erebor variation of Cirth and Fili was helping him._ " _Must I tell my sister to take the boys?" Thorin's voice was almost grim with certainty of dark news. His eyes lingered on Balin and Dwalin that were one step ahead with their heads bowed._

"Thorin, we need to talk now... _" Dwalin took a step forth, but Balin's hand fell on his brother's arm and stopped him._

_He turned at Thorin, "It would be wise to call Dis first"._

_He looked at Bjarki, his first commander in the absence of Dwalin and said, "bring her here". The man bowed and left quickly. "Did you just arrive?" He said and pushed back the harp._

"Yes laddie _", Balin said and looked at his feet defeated._

_Thorin shook his head and turned towards the boys. He had a lot of questions, but none was wise to be addressed in front of his nephews, "Fili my son, come here and bring me Kili's book. Let me see what you both did with the name", he said calmly, knowing that the storm was right there waiting for him in the form of five demanding looking dwarf-lords._

_His older nephew looked up and smiled. Then he took Kili's book that said, "Hey! I haven't finished!" And brought it over to Thorin for inspection._

" _This line is too perpendicular to that one…it looks like a cross not the rune of the letter -L-. Needs to be slightly angular, like this", Thorin frowned at the scribbled runes and showed Fili the mistake just as Kili burrowed between them to have a better look, "…This one is pretty much alright, but you need to work on your calligraphy. See? At the end of this line up there, you have to make a small star, like this…", he worked over Kili's try._

" _Oh, right…." Kili's mouth dropped open and Fili slapped him on the back of the head._

" _Told you to do it that way and you didn't want to, idiot!"_

" _Hey! Don't hit me!" Kili cried and pushed Fili back._

_Thorin's lips pursed and he closed his eyes patiently, "Not now lads, we have people present", he steadied Fili and grabbed Kili by the arm holding him away from his brother. They looked at the door, but it was only Fili that frowned deeply. His age allowed him to feel the difference of this night to all the others that Thorin helped them study runes and calculations. Kili was looking at the newcomers with a bewildered stare and his finger poking his nose._

_"What are all these people doing here uncle?" Fili looked up to him clearly worried._

_The stormy entrance of his sister didn't allow him an answer though._

" _What's the matter Thorin? Are the boys alright?" She asked out of breath, "I was with Oda at the Southeastern Halls. We had a small medical emergency with a newborn"._

_Her brother pursed his lips "I need you to take the kids"._

_She felt waves of apprehension running through her spine as she looked over at the five solemn faces, but her eyes remained on the two at the forefront._ _Instantly she asked the question that Thorin had avoided, "Balin, Dwalin when did you arrive, where is dad?"_

_Dwalin averted his eyes and Balin looked at her mournfully, but they both remained silent._

_She frowned, "Why are you looking at me like that? Where is Thrain?" Her voice dropped._

" _Uncle what's the matter?" Fili grabbed his forearm and his eyes were full of dread. Small Kili instantly leaned his body on Thorin and tried to climb on his lap, not yet able to understand, but able enough to feel the shift of energy in the room._

" _I don't think it's proper to discuss this in front of the children", Balin tilted his head at their direction._

" _Where the hell is my father?" Her voice broke and her fiery eyes pierced through him._

_Balin turned at him, "Thorin can you please handle this?"_

_He stood up and walked over as imposing as ever, even though he had little Kili in his arms and was holding Fili by the hand, "Dis, take your children to bed and allow me the time to have my official report"._

_Dis's eyes welled and she looked up at him terrified, "Tell me he didn't die…." her voice was diminished._

_Fili tore his hand free and grabbed his waist in terror._ " _Is mom talking about grandad? What happened to him?" His eyes filled with tears. Kili wailed, not knowing why his brother was crying and why his mother was yelling and buried his head under Thorin's chin._

_"This was not the reason I called you here. Do you think it's wise to scare them this way? Get a grip on yourself", he looked at her coldly and then caressed Fili's back. "Go with your mom son and I will come over soon"._

_"Will you tell me what happened to grandad?" Fili looked up at him._

_Dis cupped her face and shook her head. Her heart was thumbing hard by the immense effort to rise up to the occasion. Then she withdrew her hands and even though her eyes were overflowing with fearful tears of an impending doom, her courageous heart took over and she kneeled down and smiled to her older son, "Of course he will my darling, but we have to let Thorin do his job now alright? Come, I will make you some dinner and then we can read that story we didn't finish last night"._

_Fili was very reluctant to let go of Thorin's heavy belt, "I want to stay with him, I don't want to go", he said and looked fleetingly at the men that were by the door. They all avoided the young prince's eyes._

_Thorin caressed his hair and felt Kili tightening his grip around his neck, "I know you do, but sometimes you need to learn how to let go. Go with your mom please. I need to work now"._

_When Dis tore Kili from his arms, the boy started crying hard again, "Come on baby, I will make you warm milk with honey"._

' _Mommy I don't want to go", Kili was crying himself blue._

" _We have to my love. Thorin will come over later, okay?" she smiled and caressed his head as the boy clang onto her like no tomorrow. Fili wiped away his tears and tried to be the older brother in a manner that made Thorin very proud._

" _Hey, how about I race you back to the hot springs you little orc?" He said and offered his uncle a worried smile that betrayed so blatantly his childish need for reassurance._

_Thorin smiled down and gave him a small nod of agreement._

_"Am I doing well?" Fili's lips toyed with a ghostly smile._

" _You are making me very proud", Thorin whispered._

_Kili pulled timidly away from his mom's neck and sniffled, "I am not an orc…"_

" _Yes, you are…" Fili teased and pretended to be ready to run away._

_Kili kicked his mom who put him down with an oomph of pain and cried at his older brother, "I'll get you for that!"_

_Fili ran away from the rooms and Kili followed him. Dis's final gaze lingered on her brother grim and dark for a few moments before she turned and followed her boys._

_When he was finally alone he turned his heavy eyes at Balin, "Thrain?"_

_Balin swallowed a dry throat and shook his head, "We've lost him Thorin"._

_His brows wavered with confusion, "What?"_

" _We were pursued by the servants of the necromancer in the Wilderlands. We tried to evade them, but one morning we woke up and Thrain was not there. We searched in vain for weeks, but we couldn't find him anywhere. You know I wouldn't have returned without him, if I was not certain of his grim fate. We couldn't even find his body to bring it to burial", Balin's solemn voice rattled Thorin's already bruised heart. His relationship with Thrain had been turbulent and he attributed a great many of his woes to his father's unbending nature, especially concerning their family and their legacy amongst the Longbeards. Nevertheless listening to Balin saying that his father was gone felt almost unreal. The finality of those words were unable to pass through his steely exterior, which was ironic since it was Thrain who created that exterior on him in the first place._

_Thorin crossed his arms and walked up to the hearth silently._

_Dwalin bowed his head, "We couldn't find his body, but neither could we find him alive. He has perished, Thorin"._

_He caressed his shoulder in a moment of weakness that looked so out of place on him, but didn't speak._

_Balin kneeled down heavily and Dwalin tried to steady him. His eyes were streaming with tears, "Send us back into the wilderness and we shall not return until we find him. May we perish with him, but please believe me. We did the best we could before daring to appear defeated before you"._

_He opened his lips to reply and felt his eyes overflowing with tears. Still nothing came out of his mouth._

" _I don't want to be the first one to say this Thorin, but under the current circumstances you need to take over command of the Blue Mountains", Bjarki kneeled next to Balin and his fist touched his heart, "The King is dead, long live the King"._

_The rest of the men kneeled down and touched their hearts. Then they called out in unison "The King is dead, long live the King!"_

_He closed his eyes and his teeth gritted, "he is not dead…I am going to find him", he whispered that promise to himself._

_He may have lived most of his adult life clashing horns with his father, he may have sacrificed his personal happiness in order to fulfil his father's wishes for the sustainment of their family line, but he never wanted him dead. His family had been ripped to pieces all these years. It felt as if there was a black curse hanging over their heads, waiting to do them all in. As if they were in the middle of a cyclone dedicated to eradicate them. He shuddered and held on his shoulders, lest he fell apart in front of his men._

_They remained like that kneeling behind him, offering him command of Durin's folk, silently waiting for him to address them as their new ruler…. and it was thus that Thorin the second -having then earned his name Oakenshield- became King in Exile. In that small and quiet, grief driven, loyalty filled ceremony in his rooms amongst his most trusted friends and commanders. Bereft of elaborate honours and impressive tributes. He became King as quietly as he had led his life all these years in exile. Life taught him how to live poorly and bow his head to lesser men in order to sustain what was now left of his family, therefore he didn't expect nor want any extravagance as the rule was passed onto him from the hands of Thrain._

_He remained silent for seven days and nights -much like his father had when they lost Thror- thinking of his perished father and of the fate of his family, but on the eighth he stood up and took command more efficiently than Thror or Thrain combined, proving that the training he had undergone and all his heavy sacrifice hadn't come to naught. His old fears that he wouldn't be able to rise to the occasion proved unfounded since under his solid leadership his people prospered more than they had in years. Their trade increased a thousandfold and their numbers multiplied quickly, not only from births -since families did not hesitate to have children during these golden times- but also from wandering Longbeards that heard of Thorin's thriving realm and came to find him._

_He ruled successfully for almost one hundred years and people were safe and happy in Thorin's Halls. He raised his nephews like a father and made good men of true value and pristine ethics out of them. They became such able and strong soldiers that Fili took over command of Thorin's army early on, like he had done for the army of Thrain at the same age. He sustained his sister and became a kind and caring ruler that never judged a book by it's cover no matter the natural pride that run into his veins. He was as considerate to his last miner as he was to his best dwarf-lord and people loved him dearly for that….but he was not at rest. Something was always at the sidelines, eating him up inside. He never stopped looking for his father and he underwent several operations all over Middle Earth, most of the times on his own against the advice of his trusted men, in order to find some information about his fate. No matter how many times Balin or Dwalin tried to stop him, he couldn't be convinced. During one of those treks he came across Gandalf and was given the key and map that set new wheels in motion in his mind.…Then he decided that he needed to do more than simply establish a safe haven for his people, or find his father …. He decided against all odds to reclaim Erebor for his people, for his dead forefathers and above all this time…for him. Something that almost destroyed him._

_-.-_

"You keep looking at the harp without a single cringe on your face and I cannot help but think that you died", Balin said thoughtfully.

He unglued his eyes from the harp and inhaled deeply, "Am I not breathing perchance?" His deep voice felt unused.

"This deaf troll-spawn has been tearing your wound open and pulling out stitches for the last half an hour and you haven't moved an eyelid….are you sure you are alive?" Balin asked and Dwalin snorted and shook his head.

"No", he rubbed his forehead.

"The openings are very small and I have a very light touch. That's why he isn't feeling anything", Oin said and shoved his hearing cone on Dwalin's hands, "Put it in my ear, I want to hear what you lice-ridden crybabies are talking about. I know you are speaking about me!"

Dwalin held the cone in his ear and yawned.

Thorin smiled and closed his eyes.

"What's on your mind son? It can't be that harp…you look almost in a trance", Balin said with care.

Thorin's lips turned down, "remember that day when you told me that Thrain was lost?"

Balin frowned and offered a guarded look at Dwalin who reciprocated, "One hundred years ago?"

"Yes"

"You mean the day you became our King. How can I ever forget it?" Balin smiled sadly.

Thorin humphed, "I didn't find him in the end, did I? How could I have known that he was being held captive in Dur Guldur, just a few steps away from Erebor... How could I have known that he suffered for so long?"

Balin sighed and sat down at the bed next to him, "Why is your mind so troubled with the past lad? Isn't that all come and gone? None of us knew what happened to your father and neither did you. How many times did you venture into the wilderness alone, in risk of killing yourself and leaving the Durin's Folk without a leader and all that with no results? You couldn't find your father and you roamed Middle Earth for years. Why linger in the past? What's the use now?"

Oin pushed Dwalin's hand away from his ear along with the cone, "I don't want to hear this…" his voice was heavy.

Thorin offered him a quiet look and turned towards the harp again, "Don't ask me that which I cannot answer. I know not why I linger in the past Balin".

Dwalin's eyes were downcast.

"Is there anything we can do to help you?"

He shook his head, "I don't think there is".

Oin drew Dwalin's hands with the cone once more in his ear, "Bring it back. I want to listen".

"Will you decide already?! You are driving me crazy! We have a serious conversation right here and you keep interrupting".

"I know you are! The content of this conversation was the reason I didn't want to listen to you, and the same content made me want to listen again!" Oin said and drew out the last stitch. Thorin didn't even move.

"You are full of contradictions old man….sweet Mahal I've grown tired of you", Dwalin looked towards the window annoyed, but kept his cone in place.

"I want to hear Thorin's response when I tell him a few words about all this", Oin said and stood up. He took the ointment and pulled Thorin up.

"Am I in for another sermon about letting go of the past cousin?" Thorin's smile was desponded.

"I wasn't there when you were pronounced King. I was with my brother Gloin at the third level gathering hall. A soldier came out of breath to announce with immense pride that Thorin the second had just been announced King of the Blue Mountains and that his father had gone missing and was considered dead. I cried then. I cried hard and long because Thrain was like a father to me. We mourned the loss of your honourable father that night without your presence, as you were locked away in grieving silence for a week, remember?" Oin asked and tightened the bandage almost unbearably around him.

Thorin winced and nodded.

"The next day we were all back at the main gathering cavern, silent, apprehensive and deeply disappointed about the loss of our rulers. One after the other they were gone. Cut down like weed. That day no one spoke loud, nor did the next or the day after. There was a heavy silence around us…much like the calm before the storm. I don't know what calamity we were expecting to fall onto our heads after the loss of Thrain. We knew what kind of a commander you were since your younger days in Erebor. We should have known that not only we were not in any danger, but that we were about to get into one of the most prosperous times of Durin's Folk since the founding of Erebor itself. Why you might ask?" Oin gave his bandage one last tight pull and tied it down.

Thorin's lips upturned in a side smile and he flicked one shoulder.

"Because our ruler was going to be a Longbeard that had been moulded for that position since birth. A man that showed his courage and valour, not only repeatedly in battle as a brilliant commander back in Erebor, but most of all when we went into exile. A man that didn't hesitate to shed his princeling skin when we were all poor and become poor alongside all of us. He was the one who wore the most threadbare clothes in order for his nephews to have a new pair of boots and his sister a new vest. He was the one who got off his horse and offered it repeatedly to the elders of our people when we were roaming the Dunlands for a new home. The one who first stepped onto the mud to check it's depth so the children of the lowest miners could follow him safely to the other side. He was the one that carried pregnant women on his back, even though his back was broken from miles of trekking, till we found a tavern were he could lay them to rest and he was the one that paid for their rooms through the sweat of his brow by forging swords for lesser men. He was the man that took off his velvet vest and fur neck coat in order to give them to that elder mason that was shivering from the frozen winds that night out near Isengard, remember?" Oin said all that with a steady voice.

"I do", Thorin's eyes were full of tears.

"You never took those clothes back did you?" Oin raised his brow.

"No".

Oin smiled, "Because he needed them more. You are a man that sacrificed everything for his people Thorin. A man that didn't mind forgetting all that extravagant wealth back in Erebor when his people didn't have enough food to eat. You didn't ride alongside our cold, wet and exhausted progression upon a proud steed, looking down at us. You walked alongside us, getting wetter, colder and much more exhausted than anyone else. You didn't fear hardships and your sense of honour towards your people was so impeccable that you preferred to suffer in order for them not to. How could we -then- have been so stupidly afraid -if only for a moment- when Thrain went missing? His place was going to be taken by that man I just described and wasn't it just a miracle for all of us that you did exactly what you were born to do? Lead!"

Thorin averted his eyes and winced.

Balin wiped out his eyes and nodded at Dwalin that cupped his shoulder with care.

"You led us not only in a prosperous life back at the Blue Mountains, but you also regained Erebor for your people. We should have expected nothing less from you and I am proud to have you my King. I will say that not once but a million times till I die and I am not the only one. Both your father and your grandfather would have been proud of you. So lay any demons of the past to rest and don't linger there. Be as proud of who you are, as your people are. There isn't a single soul in the Blue Mountains that doesn't adore you to death. There won't be one here in Erebor either. If you were to die up at Ravenhill all the seven clans would mourn your loss for months. Therefore I am madly proud that I was the one that stitched your strong body back together and allowed everyone to take a deep breath of relief now that you are alive and able to continue leading us. Alright cousin?"

Thorin nodded with his eyes closed. He didn't dare open them in fear that they were going to see how emotional he had become, "Why did you have to tie down the bloody bandage so tight around me? I can barely breathe", he said on purpose completely off topic.

Oin grabbed the cone away from Dwalin's hands and flailed his arms in the air, "Without stitches you need pressure to keep the wound from bleeding. It's partly healed, but it still needs time. Internally it will take at least nine months, so be careful how you treat yourself, because we don't want to lose the King I just described", he warned.

He snorted, "Fine".

Balin was still crying and Dwalin shook him from the shoulder, "Now it's your turn to become undone? Come on for Mahal's sake! What's come over all of you?!"

"I'll be fine," Balin wiped away his eyes.

"Glad Dis is asleep through all this", Thorin looked towards the window and saw that the light snowfall had completely stopped. The tops of the mountains were covered in several inches of snow, but down here at the foot of the mountain the sun was always melting the little snow that was covering the land during the night.

"Yeah me too. Love your sister, but I couldn't have handled her today", Dwalin agreed, "Hey you feel better?" He asked his brother.

Balin pointed at Oin that was fixing his medical bag, "This gibbering fool, just made one of the best speeches for Thorin I have heard in ages. Pity you weren't there the day that we gave him the rulership. You should have been in front of all of us and tell him these exact words. We had been reduced into pitiful silence instead".

Oin waved them off, "I hate speeches".

Balin shook his head and wiped away his last tears before looking at Thorin, "Will you rest now my son?"

Thorin turned his tired eyes at him and nodded, "I need to".

Balin was pulled up by Dwalin and followed Oin towards the door, "You want me to remain?" Dwalin asked.

"No, go", Thorin shooed them away.

Oin opened the door, "Goodnight laddie," Balin said.

"Oin!" Thorin called when they were outside.

He peeked inside and adjusted his cone, "Aye…"

"Thank you my friend", Thorin's eyes filled with gratefulness.

Oin's mouth broke into a wide smile, "nothing more than the truth. Rest well, goodnight".

When the door closed he looked at the harp, "goodnight", he muttered and remained immovable for a long time. Breathing steadily under the pressure of his tight bandage. When he finally decided to move again it was not towards his bed, but towards the harp. Oin's words, flourished a hopeful spark in his heart that not everything was as bleak and as dark as his mind was telling him during his visions. He sat down in front of it and took more than half an hour to wind up the strings to the liking of his ears. Then he quietened his heart and began playing some simple training combinations he remembered from his days in the Blue Mountains. After Siv's death he hadn't played much, but in the southern ranges of Ered Luin under another mountain and a different stone he had began playing timidly once again for the enjoyment of his nephews. A couple of tunes away from warming his fingers, he closed his eyes and the room, his balcony and several corridors away from him got filled with the magical flow of his music. Making several ears to perk up. His sister opened up her eyes from her doze and a sweet satisfied smile came to her lips before she curled up comfortably and closed them again. Dwalin smiled wistfully at his cup of ale and looked over at Balin who nodded thoughtfully. His sentinels looked at each other and lean back to the wall ready to enjoy this magical moment. As for the shadowy figure of his maiden...that stayed put a few feet behind the sentinels. Her face becoming enchanted, as she took in his amazing skill for everything that it had to give to her.

A little more than two weeks had passed since that warm and comforting talk at the forging stations and after that day her dedication to him became almost possessive. She never imposed herself to his presence, and he didn't require anything out of her either, but all their communications had a different tone altogether now. More amiable, more friendly somehow. His smiles at her held a calm warmth that made her heart beat faster and she always tried to foresee his needs, even though he didn't have any and every try fell empty.

That didn't discourage her though. She was still observing him from afar. Always waiting for him to need her for something, without becoming a burden. She admired how he was quickly healing and becoming stronger with each passing day and always drew back when the lofty King of Erebor returned in the stead of the respectfully alluring man she had seen at the forging station and at the river. Some days she missed the intimacy she had shared with him for those few precious moments, but she knew such things were not meant to last and become her everyday reality. So she pined on their memory, warming her heart with them and stood a silent sentinel. Waiting to be needed once more. Such was this night that she had finished all her work for the princess and she was about to retire. As usual she decided to go see if he needed her for anything, only to arrive just when his comrades were coming out of his rooms. She hid in the shadows and waited for them to leave and that is when the corridor filled with his mesmerising music. Saying that she was surprised by his ability to create music, when she had seen the same hands forging that magnificent sword with fire and steel was an understatement. Thinking what other things were those creative hands able to do, was something she wouldn't share with anyone. So instead of knocking on his door like she did every night to ask if he needed anything, only to be politely rejected and send to bed, she leaned back against the wall and enjoyed. Enjoyed what could have been the most calm night she had ever experienced since arriving in Erebor.

-.-

When he stopped playing music, he knew that his bed would have to wait. He was unable to sleep tonight. He wore his tunic, a velvet vest and on top of it added another layer of a leather one, knowing that the weather would be harsh outside later on. Taking his coat at hand he walked out in the corridor only to be greeted by the solemn salute of his sentinels, "at rest", he told them.

They did so.

He shook his head, "For Mahal's sake men, we are not in any immediate danger. Go to your women and sleep well tonight. There is no need to remain here".

They looked at each other confused.

"Go…just go", he smiled and bypassed them.

It didn't take him long to realise that as he walked down to the King's Halls someone was following him. Less time did it take him to understand who it was, but he didn't slow down until he entered the long tall hallways that led to the stables. Her soft footfalls were cantering behind his steady calm pace, trying to catch up. He was so used to her by now looming close to him in order to fulfil the needs of the King, that her silent presence there didn't impress him. He thought it was rather expected actually. She was always there every night in his rooms asking if he needed anything. Always with a bowed head, from a respectful distance, avoiding his eyes, almost kneeling to the floor. Forever reminding him that she was there for the King.

He huffed silently and shook his head. After that day at the forging station though he was not interested at all in the maiden anymore. He was only interested in the girl, who unfortunately didn't like to be cornered and didn't approach him in any way that betrayed that she saw in him anything more than the bloody King under the Mountain. So each time she offered her services he politely denied, in the hopes that she would understand that he wanted the Eilin of the river shore back. Not his sister's maiden. So when he heard her following him tonight he casually reassured himself that she only wanted to offer her services once more. He was going to send her politely to bed -again- mildly regretful of his inability to approach her like he did at the river. He didn't want to see her terrified like that day in front of his anvil. He placed his hands on his wide belt and stopped in front of the tall gates with his back turned to her, but well aware of her soft and quick breathing. His mind lingered with the burning question that bothered him beyond belief for two weeks.

Why was this singular girl occupying his thoughts so much lately? It wasn't as if he didn't have enough on his mind already...yet there she was present all the time. Not just physically, like tonight. The thought of her was residing behind his closed eyelids during several nights allowing him to drift away from those terrible nightmares of his past, into other safer worlds that belonged to the present and for that at least he was grateful to her.

He inhaled deeply and opened his eyes, "Come out Eilin. Don't lurk in the shadows".

The silence behind him drew long until she decided to do what she was told. She walked out timidly. "Good evening", her soft voice said.

"Why are you following me around?" He frowned but kept his back turned to her.

"It's late and it looks like you are ready for one of your infamous -dashing into the night alone- tricks", she smiled.

"If you haven't noticed I do feel much better. I don't need a nanny anymore", his lips upturned in a side smile which she missed.

"Oh, I've noticed alright", she said thoughtfully.

"Why are you awake at this hour?"

"Couldn't sleep, you?"

"Me neither", he frowned defeated.

"Are you in pain?"

"No".

She remained behind him and he felt her wavering indecision and wanted to help her out...if only slightly, "You've taken time out of our sleep to follow me, so why do you stand behind me? Come next to me so I can see you".

She approached and her beautiful face came out of the shadows making his breath catch if only for a moment. Her head was as usually bowed low and her long red hair was enveloping her figure. "It is not appropriate for a maiden to stand next to the King".

"Oh, we've been through that before haven't we? You are creating that bloody contradiction in me once more. Right now, alone as we are, can you just forget the King for once and stand next to me? This is possibly the last time I am going to ask you...", he said, not really hoping that she would do something about what was pissing him off in her behaviour lately...but she did. She walked next to him and her shoulder brushed with his. The air she carried filled his lungs with the same flowery scent he had gotten so used at whenever she was around.

"So, where are you going?" She looked up at him and he saw the fire of the torches playing with the green in her eyes. For a moment he took time to admire her.

"Since I cannot sleep I wanted to visit the forest", he said and averted his eyes as he pushed the heavy doors open.

"Alone?" She hesitated for a second before following him in. The animals moved nervously as they were asleep.

He looked back at her and smiled, "Do you see anyone else wanting to keep me company?"

She heard it as a proposition, he said it as a simple observation, "I can keep you company", she muttered.

That left both of them carefully silent for several moments before he drew back and spoke, "Do you see any ponies or rams here tonight? They've all been taken. How are you going to ride with me?"

She looked down regretfully, "that means that I am doomed to stay behind".

"Doomed?" He led his horse out and saddled it.

"I don't want to go back to bed now. I'd really prefer coming with you", she looked at him wistfully.

"I cannot overlook that you have offered me your company twice tonight Eilin", he said and tied down the ropes.

"I've tried to offer it many times before but you were always dismissing me", she pressed her lips.

He smiled knowingly, "All those times you were offering your services to me and of them I am not interested. This is the first time you clearly offered your company…of which I most certainly am".

She shook her head rubbed her forehead, "Am I acting stupidly right now?"

He smiled widely and pulled the leather straps tight, "Not at all. On the contrary I'd say that finally you are doing the correct thing...and I like that".

She looked up suddenly and bit both lips, "You do?"

He nodded and took off his coat, "Took you sometime to see past the needs of the King and approach the man. I thought you never would".

She frowned partly confused, "It was this simple?"

He raised his brows.

"All this time, this simple?" she facepalmed, truly annoyed that she had totally missed on all those opportunities to get closer to him, when he was expecting her to do it all along.

"Obviously", he smirked at her.

Her mouth dropped open, "You must be kidding me. Why didn't you see past the maiden and approach the girl then? Why didn't you offer me your company before my stupid brain decided to take action?"

He rested his elbow on the back of the horse, "Because you, Eilin Firebeard, don't want to feel trapped, remember?"

Her face opened up in sudden recognition and then melted in a mixture of awkwardness and sweetness that warmed his heart, "Oh…damn…" she whispered.

He offered her the first genial smile. "Catch", he said and threw his coat at her suddenly. She yelped and caught it as it landed on her face. He pulled himself up on the horse easily which neighed in response.

She revealed her flustered face behind his coat and looked up at him, "Hey, I was not expecting that!"

"Want to keep you on your toes. Now wear it", he pointed at it.

"Why?" She frowned.

"You said you didn't want to go back to sleep now, didn't you?"

She nodded eagerly.

"And you are not wearing proper clothes for the weather outside", he noted.

"What?" Her mouth was hanging slack.

"Don't act so surprised. Persistence can bring amazing results. Now wear the coat and take my hand".

She hesitated.

"You offered me your company and I just accepted. What is this? Aftershocks?"

"Most definitely!" She cringed.

"You will come along for the ride and see where that will lead you", he smiled and pointed at his coat again, "Wear it!"

She did so quickly and he released one stirrup. Then he moved forward on his saddle and offered his hand again.

"We are going to ride together?" She said and put her hand gently in his. Afraid to take up his offer, even though she was the one that initiated the whole deal.

"Yes, unless you want to run after me on foot", he teased.

She snorted and shook her head.

"Come on then", he smiled enticingly and pulled her up with an ease that surprised both of them, as he used his wounded side.

She sat behind him awkwardly and threw her hands at her sides feeling them useless. Her eyes looked down at her lap shyly. Now that she had accomplished exactly what she had wished for, she didn't know what to do with it. "Uhm…" she mumbled, certain that she didn't have any intelligible words in her vocabulary anymore. The fact that she was almost flushed against him had stolen all her logical processes.

"Uncomfortable much, are you?" He said and set his horse on a slow walk.

Her legs tensed to keep her upright and her arms dangled stupidly, like two foreign appendages she was seeing for the first time in her life, "No…", she was not convincing.

"Maybe you have a change of heart?" He asked as they moved up the long corridor that led to the entrance.

She shook her head, "No…."

"Maybe you want to return at the service of the King and revoke your company to the man?" The tease was clear in his voice.

"Oh, hell no", she shook her head fervently.

He chuckled, "are you going to try to keep your body respectfully away from mine for the whole duration of our excursion?"

"I don't know…" she muttered, her voice becoming even quieter.

"This is suddenly becoming too much?" He smiled widely.

"Yes…NO!", she said and facepalmed again.

His laugh rumbled straight onto her torso and she curled inwards.

"I find your awkwardness infinitely appealing Eilin and I cannot stop poking you to get a response. Now either you buckle up in whichever manner you see fit, or you fall off the horse", he said as they reached the exit. The sentinels there stood in attention and saluted.

"What do you mean?" She asked confused.

He replied by kicking the flanks of his horse. It stood on its hind legs and she screeched in surprised terror. Instantly her arms came around him as far as they could and grabbed his leather vest for life. She pressed her body on him and her cheek got glued on his back, "Shit!" She cursed.

The horse landed and dashed down the road with a carefree gallop. He looked above his shoulder and laughed, "That's exactly what I mean", his hand clasped hers. A soft squeeze of reassurance was all he gave her before retrieving it to take hold of the reigns. She bit her lower lip and a wide smile brightened up her beautiful face as they flew into the night like the wind. She didn't pull back from him one single moment for as long as they rode, even though at certain times the pace of the horse was slow enough to allow her to relax. She enjoyed the quick canter of the animal and his immense frame becoming a steady wall of protection in front of her body. So much so, that after a point she was not embracing him only with her arms, but also with her thighs and her mind got entangled into a magical ride of warm tension that she never wanted to end. Several times she opened up her eyes to see the land around them drenched from the light of the full moon, but she didn't keep them open. She couldn't have cared less where he was leading them or how amazing the view was. She only cared that she was there with him. They rode long and far and even though her hands grew tired of holding on to him so tightly she wouldn't have ever let go...unless he told her to do so. Her thoughts kept running away into different tantalising directions as long as the horse was trotting.

She re-opened her eyes and looked around them only when he brought the horse to a stop. It's frothing mouth and fast breathing was the only thing heard around them in the middle of the night. They were standing in front of a forest that was full of tombs and on the other side there was an amazing view of the valley and the Kingdom under the mountain. All dressed in a silver light that took her breath away.

"Wow", her mouth slacked.

"One of the best views of the valley", he agreed quietly.

She felt goosebumps running all over her skin as the silence of the night enveloped them like a soothing blanket. She pressed her ear on his back, wanting to relish on his strong heartbeat. A deep sigh left her chest and every single cell of nervousness and anxiety rolled off her body onto the ground. When she spoke again her voice was hushed, "What is this place?"

"Erebor's burial grounds".

She flinched, "Oh…"

His silence was heavy.

"I can wait for you to visit your relatives. Don't worry. I'll just sit here and muse at this amazing view. Maybe I can find some leafs for tea around. I can surely make use of myself, worry not", she sounded measured.

"So eager, so kind, so sweet and full of life…I don't understand why I have brought someone like you into such a dark place. A big folly on my behalf", he mused and didn't make an attempt to get off his horse.

"I imposed myself when you had such a grim task at hand. If I had known…"

He spoke over her, "I wouldn't have accepted your company if that was the case Eilin. Now let us leave the dead to rest and change our plans for this evening". He turned his horse around and set it off on a trot.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere much more befitting you", he smiled.

Their ride took them on the outside borders of Mirkwood and she pushed back onto him once more. Satisfied just to be there while he led his horse quickly through twists and turns that made her dizzy. When they finally entered one of the southeast entrances of Mirkwood she looked up from his back to admire this magical elven forest. Tall trees grown too close together and gave the dark topiary a claustrophobic sensation almost immediately. The silver threads of the moon were not passing down from the dense canopy, so the darkness at certain moments felt almost too much.

As he slowed his horse down to a careful walk through the twisting and bending roots that had broken above the earth, she tightened her arms around him in slight apprehension and felt her heart picking up speed. If they were to get lost in here, she rather doubted that anyone would find them. Not even the elves. They rode like for a sometime and she didn't dare speak and break his concentration. She didn't know where they were going, but he was the one that brought them in here and she wanted him to be collected enough to get them out of here also.

As if listening to her thoughts he spoke quietly, "We are here".

She drew back slightly to see that there was an opening in front of their path. When their horse left the dense trees behind, she took her first deep breath and her mouth dropped open in awe. He brought the horse in front of a dark lake and stopped. Not a single sound was heard around them. No animals were moving, no night birds were calling, not a single wisp of air was passing through her hair, they were not even breathing it seemed. Everything seemed frozen in time "Oh..." she whispered and it was the first time she willingly pulled away from him "This is simply breathtaking".

"More than the burial grounds?" He raised his brow with a knowing smile.

She nodded eagerly, "Much more, can I get off?"

He offered her his hand, "That was the point of coming here in the first place".

She smiled as he lowered her down. When her feet touched the ground the leaves stirred and she shuddered, "What is this place called?" She asked and approached the dark lake waters that were like a mirror. They didn't have a single ripple on them.

"Elear, small almost unknown lake that is being fed by the smaller river that starts at the Mirkwood mountains. As the river is enchanted so is this lake. Do not fall in it, or slumber and forgetfulness shall befall on you. Enjoy it from afar".

She looked back at him, "I wish I had known this lake years ago".

His eyes looked down at her wistfully.

Her lips toyed with a sad smile, "I wish I could forget many things from the past", she explained something that he had already figured out.

He remained deeply thoughtful on her face.

"Don't look at me like that. Lately I don't wish to forget anything", her smile opened up.

He alighted and walked over to her, "This magical place is known to few. Only the elves and a few woodland folk know of it, and most stay away from fear of it's waters".

"How come you know of it then?"

"Storming Thranduil's realm even if it was outside the borders of his halls was something I prided myself for, years ago. I loved angering our elvish neighbours when I was younger. On one of my excursions in this forest I happened upon this lake. I didn't visit it often, so when I decided to bring you here today I was not sure I remembered how to find it. Especially since in my last venture through Mirkwood I got myself and my men thoroughly lost".

"Was that the time you stole King Thranduil's horse and got tattooed with the rune of fierceness?" She looked up at him.

He frowned down at her with an annoyed look, "how did you know about that? I don't remember telling you that story".

Eilin averted her eyes and her forefingers twisted around each other nervously, "Your sister did when we first arrived at Erebor".

He winced and crossed his arms, "Spoke a lot did she?"

"In her grief for prince Kili and in her fear for your life, she did encounter some of your adventures but always with the best of colours", she offered him a brief timid look.

"I see", he nodded.

"Have you ever fallen into these waters?" She asked and approached the edge of the lake. She could see the faint outlines of the trees around them and the silver path of the moon upon its surface.

"No, but Bombur did, not long ago. That was a bit troublesome. No one wanted him to forget his famous recipes", he added cheekily.

She laughed then and he enjoyed how open her face was.

He raised his finger and hushed her, "Ready to see the real magic of this place?"

She sobered up, "What do you mean?"

He rested upon his heels and picked up a stone, "This is what I brought you here for", he added and threw the stone at the water sideways, making it bounce once, twice, thrice and land on the other side. It hit the bark of a tree and all that disturbance arose something amazing all around her.

Hundreds if not thousands of fireflies woke up from a deep magical slumber and began flying around them. The lake exploded with silent sparks of yellowish colour and Eilin opened up her arms and giggled happily, "Wow!" She exclaimed and began twirling around herself as the sparks enveloped her, the forest and the lake.

Thorin walked pensively towards a rock formation at the side of the lake and leaned upon it. His eyes feasted not on the amazing dance of the fireflies, nor at their small lights mirroring on the surface of the beautiful lake. His eyes looked only at Eilin and how easily the magic of this place allowed her to let go of all her restraints. She pushed his coat away from her shoulders and it pooled defeated at her feet as she started a slow combination of a chase with the fireflies and a dance, that simply bewitched all his senses.

Her body twirled as her hands tried to touch the sparks and she was not hesitant at all to giggle happily as she run away from them. Only to stop a little further off and chase another batch that flew away from her. Her fur brown boots shuffled noisily through the fallen leaves as she twisted, turned and jumped around the yellowish dots of magic, back and forth and side to side, making him dizzy. His mouth opened up in a dazzling smile she missed and his heart missed several beats when he saw her head leaning back to reveal part of the smooth skin on her neck. Her hair covered her hips as she laughed at the night sky, "amazing!"

Her laugh made his heart rejoice and a small austere voice hidden at the dark recesses of his mind told him how close of a call tonight had been when he took her to the burial grounds. It didn't matter that his original plans were to visit Siv's tomb in order to feel a little better. The moment he decided to accept Eilin's company, he should have changed his plans to another destination. She was so full of life, so vibrant, so colourful….so real…that she had no place amongst the dead. Tonight, he had no place amongst the dead either. He couldn't quite label what was going on with this heavenly woman in front of him, but he didn't want it to stop.

"Do you see this?" Her beautiful eyes looked at him amazed…bewildered, overflowing with emotions he had never expected to see from another woman after Siv.

He shuddered in pleasure and nodded.

"It's amazing!" She opened up her arms and began a series of twirls that made her quickly dizzy. She stoped and grabbed her head, "Oh…". Then she looked at him.

He was smiling quietly.

She raised a finger at him, "You are coming with me…" she said and walked up to him decisively.

He frowned, "What?"

She run up to him and without any hesitations she reached out for his hands and uncrossed them. Then she clasped them and looked at him with her intense green eyes, "Stand up and dance with me…"

"To what music?" he looked around.

"To the one in my head, isn't there one in yours?" She bit her lower lip.

"No", his frown deepened.

"You don't have any imagination, do you? You've brought me here to enjoy this stunning place, so the least you can do is come with me and dance", she pulled him up.

He didn't resist, "I never dance…"

"You will now…to the music in my head!" She said and smiled brightly as she dragged him in the middle of the clearing….and with that she kept hold of one of his hands and began twirling and twisting around him happily. He smiled at the soft swaying of her body and at the way she was able to close her eyes and imagine music in her head. Something that he was unable to do. He was transfixed at the way she moved around him, making him take a couple of unwilling turns as she didn't allow him to let go of her hand. So much so did her hypnotising dance drew him in that his chuckle became a laugh vibrant enough to make her stop and look at him behind all the fireflies that flew between them.

"You don't know how to let go, do you?" She whispered.

He looked at the long red locks that framed her face and smiled down at her, "No".

"Maybe it's time you should learn", she smiled sweetly at him and her small hand squeezed his for a brief moment before she released it and kneeled down. She picked up a handful of dry leafs and tossed them above his head.

He chuckled and tried to get away, but her hand clasped his once more and kept him in place, "No…you are not going anywhere! Close your eyes…"

He pursed his lips and looked at her, "Close my eyes?"

She nodded, "trust me. Close your eyes!"

He inhaled deeply and did so. The loss of that sense made him very aware of his surroundings, "What are you doing?" his brow furrowed in confusion.

She hushed him, picked up more leafs and tossed them in the air. This time when they fell on his hair and face they didn't feel like leafs, but like fingers caressing him. His confused smile died down and his mouth opened up slightly. She bit her lower lip as she saw the enjoyment on his face and picked up more leafs to repeat it, again and again, until she managed to elicit the first exhalation of pleasure from him. And then she stopped and looked at his handsome face, enraptured, "didn't your mind create images out of these fallen leafs?"

He opened up his eyes slowly and felt dizzy, almost floating out of his body, "yes".

She smiled brightly at him, "You do have an imagination, you've just forgotten how to use it".

A bright smile was his answer.

She reached out and clasped his hand, "Now dance with me…and I don't care that you never dance".

He opened up his mouth to deny once more, but she was quicker. She drew him into a dance, between the yellow sparks of magic, that he hesitantly followed with as much distance as she was allowing him, mostly holding her hand as she let herself go with an ease he envied. When she was inside another world once more he drew back slightly and enjoyed her from the safety of his immovability. Never at peace with allowing himself to open up in this revealing manner, even though her trick with the leafs truly made his mind float away from him for a few precious moments. His admiring smile though never left his lips and he remained there translucent, looking at her, at the fireflies and at the serenity of the forest around them for sometime. Nothing could have drawn his attention from this captivating creature in front of him, if it wasn't for a shadow that appeared at the edge of the clearing.

His eyes quickly focused at the movement and his body lost all the calm, it had gained from her gentle handling. He instantly became battle worthy, but that lasted only for a few brief confused moments she totally missed. When he saw the white deer standing close to them, he closed his eyes and exhaled in relief. Then he looked back at Eilin that was still chasing the fireflies. He walked up to her and took hold of her shoulders. She stopped and opened up her eyes in mild confusion, "Why did you stop dancing?" She asked.

He placed his finger on his lips and hushed her, "Look" he turned her around and his finger pointed at the immovable deer above her shoulder.

"Oh…" her mouth dropped open.

"Stay still…it might come to you", he whispered and squeezed her shoulders for a brief moment before pulling away from her. He took several steps back and rested on his heels patiently, not wanting to scare the animal with his roughness. It was much more likely to approach the dainty Eilin.

"Thorin?" She tried to look above her shoulder.

"Don't move, I am right here", he reassured her.

"Can I do something to call it over?"

"It seems curious about us. Let it feed it's curiosity", he said quietly.

"Come here baby, let me see you," he said in a hushed voice.

The deer's ears perked up and it took a few steps forward.

"Thorin it's coming", her voice elevated.

"Keep calm…don't talk too loud", he whispered.

She raised her hand at it, "Come here…".

The deer took another step forth. Thorin remained in the sidelines, urging her quietly how to bring it closer not really believing that one of Thranduil's ethereal creatures would willingly approach a dwarf, but not wanting to ruin her hopes. So when the deer came only at a breathing distance from her extended hand he was the one that was surprised more than her. She was smiling spellbound and when the deer's nose touched her forefinger she jerked back and giggled lightly, making it jerk back also.

He cupped this mouth and exhaled through his nose, "Don't ruin it", he warned her, feeling happier than he had felt in years, just by seeing her interaction with this beautiful creature.

She shook her head and reached out again. The deer smelled her fingers and then did something extraordinary. It came around her side and circled her once. When it did the same twice her hand reached out and caressed it's neck and body. Before she could enjoy a third round the call of an owl disturbed the thin balance and the deer jerked nervously away from her and bounced quickly back into the forest. She remained with her hand extended for several moments….with her breath stolen. Then she turned at him quickly, "Did you see that?!"

He stood up, "that was a great honour for you".

Her eyes welled. Then out of nowhere she ran up and fell on him with such enthusiasm that she knocked all the air out of his lungs. His hands lingered above her back as she hugged him with zest for a few moments before she pulled back. Her green eyes seared into him and she smiled widely even though her eyes were teary. Then wordlessly she stood up on her toes and planted a quick and awkward kiss on his cheek, before pulling back and running at the middle of the clearing once more, "that was incredible!" She cried and clapped her hands, "I have never experienced something so breathtaking in my life!"

His hand cupped his cheek and his eyes burned the back of her head. Was she talking about the deer or herself? That unexpected friendly kiss had blown his mind right out of his head and right now he was looking at her confounded. His knees unlocked under him and he sat down amidst the fallen leafs. For the first time in years he was at a loss for words. He had lost his head and his self control….and the weirdest thing was that he didn't care who saw him like this. He looked up at her as she was swivelling happily and he wanted to do the same, not for the deer, but for what her kiss made him feel. He rubbed his cheek with the back of his wrist wanting to eliminate the tingling feeling that lingered there before picking up another stone and dropping it into the waters…his eyes got lost at the ripples on its surface. His movement alerted her and she looked at him for a few moments before coming over, "Wasn't it amazing?!" She asked and emptied herself next to him.

"Amazing indeed…" he smiled thoughtfully, not intending to tell her that he didn't meant the deer.

"But aren't these animals supposed to be asleep at this hour?" She frowned and took a stone.

He nodded.

"Then how was that one awake? Did we wake it up maybe?" She threw into the lake. The fireflies had began settling again and the yellow sparks were few and sparse now. A few more reawakened from their stones.

"That was a white deer, it was one of the enchanted creatures of Mirkwood. We didn't wake it up, no".

"Then …"

"We are under scrutiny", he smirked and looked around him, feeling her presence ever so soothing next to him.

"Elves?" She looked around her.

He nodded, "We mustn't exceed the hospitality of the Mirkwood realm. Soon we must go. The deer was a warning that we are being watched and we are expected to leave soon".

Her shoulders slouched, "Wish you had a better relationship with King Thranduil. Then maybe he'd allow us to stay a while longer".

He chuckled "I'd be sure to fix our diplomatic issues so you can have ample access to this lake. I promise".

She smiled and rested her chin on her knees, "Don't jest, this was probably one of the most beautiful nights of my life".

He sobered up, "I am not jesting. Your need to see this lake more is probably a bigger incentive to find my footing with Thranduil than anything else my court deems important".

She offered him a quick glance and exhaled feeling relaxed and at peace with the world for the first time in her life. Not thinking about her different appearance, not afraid that she was going to be ridiculed, judged or attacked, not nervous that she was going to offend someone. Right now, with him next to her, having totally forgotten that he was the King, she felt comfortable in her skin, "thank you for allowing me to be myself", she said quietly.

He frowned and offered her a thoughtful look, "thank you for allowing me to do the same".

"Thank you for showing me this dream", her eyes were so endearing that his stomach bubbled up.

"It was an honour to share it with you".

She wiped away a few stray tears, "Is it okay that I don't want to leave yet?"

He leaned his hands back and observed the lake thoughtfully, "Let's remain here a while longer. I don't think Thranduil will risk breaking a possible allegiance with Erebor just because we are trespassing his enchanted lake".

She smiled at him and settled her head on her knees for several quiet moments were the only thing heard was the calling of the owl that scared the deer away. They sat quietly next to each other, enjoying the silence of the night and each other's quiet company. Their thighs were barely touching and their shoulders were barely brushing against each other. After a while almost all the fireflies had settled down and a soft drizzle began passing through the dense forest canopy. So tiny the raindrops were that they never sipped through their hair, they simply remained on top of their heads, creating a soft silver halo, brightened by the moon that escaped between the clouds.

It was his quiet voice that made her reopen her eyes and look at his, "Ready to go?"

She nodded and he helped her up. They walked up to the horse that was grazing a little ways off and she turned at the lake once more, "Will I ever see this again?"

"Why not?" He said and pulled himself up.

"I don't know how to come here. Only you do…" her eyes looked up at him thoughtfully.

He released the stirrup but this time he didn't move forward on the saddle but backwards and offered her his hand, "then you shall most certainly see it again".

She looked at his hand transfixed for several seconds, "Will I ride in front of you?"

He raised his brow, "If you want to".

Her throat felt dry and instantly a hand twisted her stomach around, releasing an envelop full of butterflies in it. She took hold of his hand and was pulled up, "Do I?" She muttered and settled in front of him.

"I think you do", he said with self certainty and his large body engulfed her into its heat. Then she found her back flushed against his chest and his arms encasing her inside a cocoon of safety she had never experienced before. Instantly her body unwinded and as he set the horse into a trot she allowed her head to lean back onto his upper chest and closed her eyes. The euphoria she felt there was indescribable. She barely remembered the ride back to Erebor, as her mind floated with the images in front of the enchanted lake. Only when the trot became a canter and then a full blown gallop did she reach out to his forearm. He tightened his grip around her in response and she didn't feel a drop of fear as the horse jumped over streams and rocks and zigzagged out of the forest expertly. She yearned to give all control to him and he longed to have it. So she remained calm, completely unknotted in his arms, opening her eyes now and again to check for a second and then snuggling back against him. Only when they reached the gates of Erebor and she felt the horse slowing down to a walk did she open her eyes. Everyone was sleeping except from the sentinels that kept their discreet eyes away from everything, but the road. She pulled away from him with deep regret and he assisted her down gently.

She frowned and took hold of her shoulders, already wanting to return to the lake with him, "And now the dream ends?" She whispered and felt her eyes filling with tears. She kept them away from him.

"Hey you?" He said with a tired smile.

She hesitated before looking up at him. His eyes made her smile instantly, "What?"

"Every dream has an end and every end has a new beginning", he winked at her.

Her smile become bright and hopeful, "And with those words you are sending me off to bed?"

"Yes".

She shook her head and bit her lower lip, "thank you for tonight, I will never forget it".

"And neither shall I. Goodnight Eilin", he said and with a sweet smile that she reciprocated he galloped towards the stables alone. Leaving her to muse after him for a long time before deciding to take whatever bits of her body he had left behind and go to bed.

 


	20. I will never let you forget

" _Thorin can you please slow down? I don't know what you are thinking, but what you did back there...that was totally uncalled for!" Dwalin said and walked quickly behind his friend's quick stride._

"Y _ou have no idea what's going on...", Thorin dismissed him_

"S _top and tell me what the hell is going on then!" Dwalin's hand fell on his bicep and stopped him._

" _I am getting out of there before I do something I will regret," he turned his murderous eyes on his best friend._

_"More than what you already did? You just came head to head with the King!" Dwalin didn't released his arm._

_"He was lucky you were there, for I swear I wouldn't have stopped..."_

_Dwalin tried to jerk him back to reason, "What more would you do? He is your grandfather and the King of Durin's folk! You love him, you bloody fool and he adores you!"_

_Thorin pursed his lips and his eyes thinned angrily._

" _The only thing you managed is your father hearing about all this and getting back at you!"_

_Thorin shook his head, "Oh no, Thrain won't get in the middle of this"._

_His certainty made Dwalin pull back a little, "you sound dead certain"._

" _I am", Thorin pulled his arm free._

" _What is going on here Thorin?" Dwalin crossed his arms, "do you have more authority over your grandfather than I had originally thought?"_

_Thorin shook his head, feeling truly pissed off, "you shouldn't have intervened the way you did. This has to be addressed before it gets out of hand", his voice was deep and austere._

" _Don't you think Thrain knows that your grandfather wants to reclaim Moria?" Dwalin threw his hands in the air._

_Thorin's jawline tightened, "Not only does he know but he also endorses it! He is always planning on grandad's ideas ahead, but he is not thinking straight. Neither are"._

" _You underestimate your father and the King," Dwalin tried._

" _No, you underestimate how much greed is powering up both!" Thorin snapped and grabbed his head. He closed his eyes painfully._

_Dwalin drew back, "The ring of power…"_

_Thorin turned around so fast that Dwalin took an unwilling step back, "that bloody thing is going to be the end of our line -mark my words-! Moria is crawling with Orcs! There are beasts that have been awoken from the deep, walking in the shadows. Beasts of fire and ash! Moria cannot be reclaimed. My grandfather's grant schemes for a war that will include all the seven armies will blow up in our faces!"_

" _Having the odds against them is surely no reason to stop the Longbeards…" Dwalin said mischievously._

" _When the odds are against certain death, a Longbeard must think first of his family and people and then of his greed!" Thorin said and emptied himself on a bench carved skillfully out of rock._

" _King Thror has been ruling our people wisely for centuries and so does your father. Thorin, I think you are overreacting in all of this," Dwalin sat down next to him, "He has advisors. Don't you think that my father would have advised against such a folly if he saw the danger?"_

" _Fundin cannot butt heads with Thror the way I can. He is bound to my family by blood and oaths, but that doesn't make him the most impartial judge. Even if he sees the errors of their ways, your beloved father cannot curse their stupidity to hell, now can he?"_

_Dwalin sighed, "I suppose not, no"._

_Thorin gave him a curt nod, "Thror is not thinking clearly. The ring of power is causing him to become restless. It carries evil in it, I can feel it. I need to take it out of his finger and back to Mount Doom. Then throw it in that lava and get rid of it once and for all, exactly where it was made"._

_Dwalin raised his brows, "The Longbeards will be the only ones of the seven families without a ring of power then"._

" _Good, it's absence might knock some sense into us," Thorin looked at him tiredly, "Dwalin you know I don't fear a battle, but this is leading our people into slaughter. Most of us will die for a lost cause"._

_Dwalin crossed his hands thoughtfully._

" _Next time you see me brawling with my half demented grandfather, don't intervene!" Thorin's voice held a tone of warning._

" _I did it to protect you…" Dwalin looked up regretfully._

" _I am not the one in need of protection you fool, but my people and I cannot do anything to stop this, apart from trying to knock some sense into the King's head. Tough luck apparently", he lowered his head defeated. He already knew that there was practically nothing he could do to turn this around. His grandfather was decided, his father was backing him up, all the generals of the army were behind the royal family and he was their commander. Even Frerin was hyped up about this noble cause. He was the only one seeing things under their true grim light...or was he maybe the only fool here?_

" _Tell me what you want me to do, and I shall do it for you," Dwalin's voice deepened with emotion._

_Thorin offered him a defeated look, "I want you to be there to protect Frerin If I cannot"._

" _Do you think it shall come down to this?" Dwalin frowned._

" _Just be there for him as you are going to be there for Balin, if I am not, please", his voice broke._

_A hand landed on his forearm, "You know I'd give my life for you and your family. You are not my cousin, you are my brother"._

_Thorin's hand grasped his and he squeezed, "Thank you"._

_They remained like that thoughtful for a long time. Silent. One man wary and the other woeful. Each knowing that when the time came they'd stand tall no matter their current concerns. Just when Thorin was ready to tell Dwalin that they should go and get something to eat, the later elbowed him urgently. Thorin turned and saw his sister walking indignantly towards them. Her hair was all lose from her intricate braids, a dark see flowing around her. Her eyes were spitting the very fires of the aforementioned Mount Doom and her lips were thin arrows of wrath._

_Kilskjald was running after her with his hands raised up in a desperate need to stop her. Thorin's brow clouded and he sprang up. Dwalin's hand fell restraining on his shoulder, "steady, you are not calm from Thror yet…."_

" _Dis please wait!" Kilskjald called behind her._

_Thorin walked onto the path of his sister, thinking that it was Kilskjald's fault that she was running away, "what the hell is going on here?" His voice was deep and darkly dangerous. His eyes fell on Kilskjald with an undertone of warning that stopped the man dead on his tracks._

_His sister was not as convinced by his authority though. She pushed him aside and tried to bypass him, "get out of my way!"_

_He gritted his teeth calling on patience and grabbed her arm making her span around and crash on his shoulder blade. His other hand grabbed Kilskjald by the lapels of his coat and drew him onto his face, "what the hell is going on here?"_

" _Steady Thorin," Dwalin tried._

" _Dwalin not now…" Thorin hurled at him._

_Dwalin pressed his lips and crossed his arms silently._

_"Why are you chasing my sister?" his voice dropped even lower if possible._

_Kilskjald lowered his head and brought his fist onto his chest respectfully, "I was trying to stop her my Lord."_

" _Why does she needs to be stopped?"_

" _Thorin, let him go, it's not his fault!" Dis cried and punched him on the shoulder._

_He turned his head at her and glowered, "Shut up!"_

" _My Lord, she is not running away from me", Kilskjald looked at a loss from words. Like he didn't want to divulge the information and that made Thorin even more mad at him._

_He pulled the lapels and Kilskjald's body crashed on his. The man averted his eyes, "Who is she running away from?"_

" _Dad! I am running away from dad! Leave Kilskjald alone! He didn't do anything! He is a victim in all this, as I am!" Dis cried and punched him hard on the shoulder again._

_He frowned and released his sister who backed up and rubbed her crying face "What?" He looked confused._

_Dis looked up and with renewed fervour now that she was free she fell on Kilskjald with mad possession. She bit Thorin's wrist so hard that he released the man and pulled back surprised, "Leave him alone! As if he didn't get enough ridicule from our precious daddy, he needs to be pushed around by you also!"_

" _Dis what the hell are you talking about?" He cupped his wrist and looked at her bewildered._

_Dis after making sure that Kilskjald was fine turned to her brother angrily, "Dad? Daddy dearest? The one eyed manic egotist that's been running things in grandad's stead for a long time now?"_

" _You don't have to be choleric," Thorin cringed distastefully._

" _Oh, get off your high horse!" She waved him off, "you and him are too much alike! Actually you, him and Thror are one of a kind. They shaped you up to be as short sighted and blunt as they are!"_

" _Oh, now I am your problem! Why don't you put your petty insults aside and tell me what happened with dad instead?" He crossed his arms._

_Dis took two steps and brought her face close to his. Her eyes were red and teary and her mouth began trembling visibly after speaking the first few words, "Me and Kilskjald…we went there to ask him to bless our union. You knew this was going to happen. You had no problems with it"._

_Thorin's brow raised, "Of course"._

_The admittance that left him so easily broke her down then. She cupped her face and tears released into violent sobs. Kilskjald embraced her from behind, "Dad refused us! He refused our union…"_

_Thorin's face sobered up slowly and his annoyed look, turned first despondent and then a grave darkness began dawning that she missed._

" _He refused to allow us to marry and I don't know what to do. It hurts me so bad Thorin..." She wailed and he wanted to push_ _Kilskjald aside and embrace her instead, but he stayed put and crossed his arms coldly._

_Kilskjald hushed her, "Please my darling"._

_Thorin felt a new rush of adrenaline pumping into his blood so close to the first one and tried to reason through all this as much as he could, "Maybe you can try again later. Maybe you should both wait a bit longer. Patience is a virtue"._

" _We have been dating for a year! We love each other! We want to bind our lives together!" Dis looked up from Kilskjald's shoulder._

" _Love is not a game... wait a bit longer. Give Thrain time to settle with the idea", Thorin said gravely._

_Dis's eyes threw arrows of fire at him and she pushed Kilskjald away. She reached Thorin and pushed him back with hatred, "How can you know what love is! You've never been in love!" She spat on his face._

_That was the first time in his life he physically felt the blood draining from his face and he instantly closed up._

_Dwalin gathered himself and checked on Thorin with a worried look that everyone else missed, "now that was totally uncalled for!" he intervened._

" _Thorin's lackey in for the rescue?" She dripped venom._

_Thorin gave her murderous look she missed._

" _I don't care about you, or him or any of you!" She pointed vaguely everywhere, "all I care about is that I am not allowed to marry the man I love, just because dad thinks I am marrying too low in rank. He doesn't accept that I am in love with a miner. Do you think that's fair Thorin? How am I supposed to deal with this? How am I supposed to balance dad's overbearing personality? Haven't you been oppressed by him enough? Hasn't Frerin? Well, at least he didn't ruin your chances in love, like he does with me. I swear to you Thorin, that I will find a way to wed Kilskjald and if that means that I will have to renounce my name and legacy and leave Ered Luin, be certain that I will! I told him and I am telling you now! You shall not stop me and I am not acting childishly. I am acting like a woman in LOVE!" She spat with hatred._

_Kilskjald was simply trying to calm her down with soothing words of comfort._

_Thorin's murderous eyes, got tinted by immeasurable sadness slowly and he felt his stiff shoulders deflating._

_"At a loss for words my famous brother?" She bit._

_"Yes", he plainly admitted._

_She smiled sadly and cleared her burning face, "How can you know what to say, since you have never felt anything like this...I am asking too much of you..." she let that thought trail off and turned around. With no more words she left her brother behind more bruised than she could have ever aimed for._

" _I am so sorry my Lord," Kilskjald said respectfully._

_Thorin turned his crestfallen gaze on him._

" _You know that I love your sister and that I will honour, protect and value her with my life," he continued._

" _I know"._

" _I would never do anything to hurt her and I would never agree with her grant plans to leave your family for me. I will make sure I leave Ered Luin within the next week without her knowledge," Kilskjald bowed his head and kneeled down defeated._

_Thorin inhaled deeply feeling his hands painfully tight at seeing history being repeated in the worst way possible. Through his beloved sister._

" _I am doing this to protect her, so please don't tell her anything. It's best that she believes I left her because I didn't love her enough. It will be easier for her to get over all this," Kilskjald said and Thorin saw the tears edging his eyes and felt his heart touched deeply._

_"Go after her", he said quietly._

_Kilskjald bowed and then ran after Dis, "Thank you my Lord"._

_Thorin mused after them for a few silent moments._

" _That didn't go very well," Dwalin reminded him of his presence._

" _Little girl has grown up. She doesn't need me anymore Dwalin", Thorin felt his eyes welling up._

" _She's a fiery woman in love."_

_Thorin looked at him sadly, "she is…"_

_Dwalin flicked his shoulders, "I've always admired her, but today she surpassed my expectations"._

_Thorin pressed his lips, "and mine"._

_Dwalin hesitated for a few moments, "Don't take into consideration her hurtful words Thorin. She doesn't know the truth and she is in pain"._

_"I know", Thorin's eyes slowly turned savage as he looked towards the city._

_Dwalin noticed,_  " _Going against Thror and Thrain in one day is looking for trouble"._

" _Then pack up your best mead, because after tonight I won't be coming home for several days," Thorin raised his brow meaningfully._

_Dwalin's lips twitched, "Should I ready two ponies?"_

" _Horses and get several days of food also," he said and began walking towards the city._

_Dwalin slapped his thigh, "Damn have I missed life on the road! On it immediately! Don't make a racket in there!" He raised his hand warningly at Thorin._

" _No more racket from me today," Thorin whispered at himself. It took him a deliberately long time to go up to his father, just in order to calm down his anger and put his emotions and thoughts in order._

_The silent sentinels pulled away from the door and kneeled down. He entered without knocking like he usually did. His father was in the middle of a meeting and everyone looked up when he made his calm, but always majestic entrance._

" _Ah, Thorin, what news?" Thrain asked with a proud smile on seeing his son._

" _May I have a word with you my Lord?" He asked respectfully._

_Thrain's brow rippled cautiously, "Can't it wait? As you see I am in the middle of a meeting with our generals"._

_Thorin closed his eyes briefly, "I am afraid it cannot"._

_Thrain looked around him with a heavy brow, "My Lords please wait for me outside"._

_When everyone left Thrain stood up and rounded his desk to meet his son in the middle of the room, "What's going on?"_

" _I came across Dis just now", Thorin's voice was way too quiet for what he was about to do._

_Thrain's face settled in controlled annoyance, "Did she send you? Did you stop my meeting about Moria for this idiocy?"_

" _Moria is an idiocy of magnificent scale on it's own," Thorin threw the first dagger calmly._

_Thrain's jawline settled, "So are you here to defend your sister's hysterics or talk strategy?"_

_Thorin raised his brow._

" _I want to know so I can take on the appropriate attitude," Thrain said coldly._

" _You are taking this far less seriously than you should," Thorin's voice had a steely undertone._

" _You mean to tell me that you take her love affair with that miner seriously?" Thrain's voice rose. He was unable to control his anger on that._

" _Kilskjald is a good man…" Thorin began._

" _I knew she send you. As always. You being here won't change my decision against this. She will not marry a miner! The end!" Thrain yelled and cracked his hand on his office._

"… _he respects and loves her deeply…" Thorin continued totally unruffled with his eyes peacefully closed._

" _Didn't you hear what I just said?" Thrain turned around angrily._

"… _he will marry and honour her to death…"_

" _Thorin stop!" Thrain cried and looked at him with disbelief, "you are acting as if I am not here. As if you have already decided for me! …."_

_Thorin opened up his eyes and spoke over him, "I have already decided for you"._

_That gave Thrain pause. He pulled back, "what?"_

_Thorin took a step and towered over his father darkly. His brow clouded with controlled hostility and Thrain felt the change of the atmosphere around them palpable. Thorin's hand grasped his father's upper arm tightly and he brought their faces close, "You shall bless this union", his voice held a low and deep rumble that raised the hairs on Thrain's neck._

_Thrain straightened his body imposingly against his older son "Why should I?"_

" _Because of Siv" Thorin replied and his heavy stare settled to his father, unyielding._

_Thrain's mouth opened up slightly and a flicker of fear appeared in his eyes._

" _I sacrificed her life to your cause and to this family, but my sister shall be spared" Thorin continued with the same unbending tone of authority._

" _Or else?" He father flicked his head up in defiance. Taking orders from his son was not something that he was used to._

_Thorin met his eyes again coldly "I shall never let you forget what you did to me"._

_Thrain's jawline twitched angrily but he didn't reply._

_Thorin pulled back and released his arm, "That's not an order father. I cannot order you. I can only advice and that is what I am doing. Sit here and think. Look at your city and at your wealth. Think about your family and your priorities. I am sure in the end you will decide what is best for your daughter, just to balance out what you decided for me by bestowing the unbearable weight of Thror's fading sanity on my beloved"._

_Thrain paled when he heard the speech he gave Thorin ages ago, thrown back at him in the most grim of ways. He walked back and sat on the edge of his desk already knowing that he was defeated in this game. His son may not have come to talk strategy about Moria, but he cornered his father with a cold blooded strategic move, his generals would have envied, about his sister's impending wedding. Thrain looked up to his son vacantly._

" _I am sure in the end you shall deliver what is best for your family…." Thorin said bluntly and raised his brow, "as you always do"._

_Thrain swallowed a dry throat but remained quiet._

_Thorin walked to the door and placed his hand on the handle. For a few moments he looked at the wooden panel, "I am leaving with Dwalin tonight"._

" _Where to?" Thrain's question was quick and clearly worried._

" _Heard about Orcs roaming the villages at the flanks of the Blue Mountain. Had it in mind to check this out for a long time"._

" _So why now? Because of all this?" Thrain asked._

" _Maybe I just need some time away from all of you. Ever thought of that?" He looked above his shoulder._

" _Thorin, let's discuss this over a bottle of mead. I have some here. It's from out best barrels," Thrain walked quickly around his desk to find his best bottle, but his son's cold voice made him stop._

" _You owe me a drink when I return", he said and turned the handle._

" _Take the first division with you," Thrain sounded apprehensive._

" _For a couple of Orcs? There is no need father", he said and opened the door. Everyone saluted him respectfully and he kept the door open for them to enter. That is when he saw the teary eyes of his mother looking at him from a distance. He released the door and walked up to her._

" _My boy?" Her hand came up to cup his cheek._

" _Hi mom," he said unable to stop a sweet smile._

" _What happened in there?" Durís asked and he felt her fingertips cold and trembling._

" _Had a heart to heart"._

" _About Dis?" His mother looked up to him eagerly._

_He nodded._

" _What did he say?"_

" _I am sure he will think about her wedding much more seriously now," Thorin reassured her._

_She pulled him over and embraced him. Her head rested on his wide chest and he caressed her grey hair softly, "thank you my boy. I was coming to talk to him myself. Thank you for taking over this for your baby sister", she whispered._

_"Dis is not a baby anymore mom", he smiled bitterly on her hair and exhaled as he squeezed her tight, "Now calm down. Everything is going to be okay"._

_"I love you," Durís reciprocated his hug with as much love as only a mom could give to her child and he felt it deep in his heart._

" _Me too," he whispered and then pulled back, "I have to go"._

" _Where are you going? Dis will come back and she will need you", Durís frowned._

_Thorin's lips turned in a side smile, "She doesn't need either me or you anymore mom. She's got the one she needs already"._

_Durís smiled sweetly at him and wiped away her tears, "so there is no need to talk to your dad?"_

_Thorin flicked one shoulder, "go and share his good bottle of mead that he hides under the desk. No need to do anything more than that"._

_-.-_

"No need to do anything more than what you have already done! You've given him the third degree! With what right might I ask?" Dis placed her hands on her waist.

"I am your brother," his voice dropped by degrees.

She heard the warning and pulled back, "Thorin, I told you before that there is nothing going on between us. The man is simply trying to help me through all this with the meagre allowances that I offer him. He is just a friend. As for what you said…being my brother doesn't give you endless control over my life…" she tried.

"When did I ever have control over your life Dis?" He looked up pissed.

She frowned, "Wait a minute.."

"When did I have control over any of your decisions? I tried to advice several times but my words went unheard. When was the last time you listened to me? I told you to stay in Ered Luin to be safe. You didn't even do that!"

She frowned, "For some reason you are turning this into something more serious than it is and I don't know why. I told you lieutenant Dongar is just a friend, not my love interest...but you cannot understand…"

He spoke above her with a deep authoritative voice that boomed inside the closed doors of his office, "Don't you dare tell me that I cannot understand because I don't know what love is…"

She paled and her mouth dropped open.

He covered his eyes and rubbed his forehead, "I will give him the fourth, the fifth and the sixth degree if I judge it appropriate. As long as he keeps sniffing around you I will be the monkey on his back. You don't like it? Turn on your heels and go back to Ered Luin. As long as you remain with me, you will abide by my rules", his voice didn't sound as commanding as before, but it was serious nonetheless.

She inhaled and frowned worried, "Where did that ancient skeleton pop up from Thorin?"

He gave her an indifferent side look.

"Where did that come from? I've only said that to you once, ages ago, when I was in despair. How did you remember that?" Her voice was confused, almost careful of not triggering him with a similar explosion that seemed to derive out of nowhere.

He cringed under his fingers, "It was so bloody pointy, I've never been able to forget it".

She waved her hands, "that was over a century ago!"

He raised his brow but remained silent.

She exhaled and looked at him for several moments trying to gather her thoughts. Then deciding, she approached him and leaned over his back. Her hand slithered around his side and touched the bandage above his over-tunic protectively, "what is ailing you my darling? This isn't normal -Thorin broodiness- I am witnessing is it? There is something else eating you up inside?"

"Dis, get off my back," he tried to shake her off obviously annoyed.

"Mid-life crisis?" She bit her lip playfully.

He snorted and rubbed his eyes, "could very well be".

She leaned her head on his shoulder blade and caressed his temple, "I am sorry for what I told you back then. I was young, foolish and blind from love. I didn't think that I was hurting you with my words and it isn't as if we hadn't spoken hurtfully towards each other before. For some reason that stuck on you all this time. I cannot take it back, but please accept my apology…"

He bend under her soft approach, "It's okay".

"Is it truly okay?", she frowned.

He closed his eyes and his body deflated, "be careful with Dongar. He seems like a decent man, but it's too soon. Everything is raw, open and bleeding still and you are vulnerable. Don't make important decisions when you feel so vulnerable after Kili's death. You are not alone in this. I am here. Have I ever let you down?"

She pressed her forehead on his shoulder and shook her head, "No my darling, never".

"Have I ever given you a reason to feel vulnerable?" He continued.

"Never", she pressed her lips and felt her eyes welling.

"Give all this some time to settle down and let me do what I know best. What I have been doing since you were a baby. Let me protect your interests", he said and clasped her forearm that was around his neck. He leaned his head back onto hers and closed his eyes.

She huffed and kissed his shoulder, "you'll become that lieutenant's worst nightmare…"

"If he is interested in you, then he will sustain through my trials like your husband did. If time proves him resilient then…" he hesitated.

"He'll have to ask me if I am interested, and currently I am not", she smiled.

"at least all this will be out of my hands and onto yours, gerbil".

"I get where you are coming from", she nodded thoughtfully and caressed his long hair softly.

"Then stop fighting my every decision, please".

She sighed, "I am sorry I am making your life hard sometimes. I know you have my best interests at heart".

"I am the only one who does…" his voice turned darker slightly.

"I know.." She frowned.

"For now…" a small ghostly smile appeared on his lips.

She chuckled, "You deserve your nickname to the outmost. You are scaring away people left and right. First poor Dongar, who cannot even say your name without casting his eyes down, and then that poor girl Valdis".

"What did I ever do to her?" He frowned.

"Abandoned her in the middle of your conversation. You just disappeared on her, didn't you?"

"She was lucky I didn't commit suicide next to her," he shook his head.

"Was she so boring then?"

"More than…why do I have to listen about hair fashion, please tell me that?" He said dryly.

Dis facepalmed so hard it echoed into the office, "silly little girl was talking about hair to you?! She just blew her chances".

"That's what you were expecting when you shoved her into my presence?" He grumbled.

"No my darling. Just pleasant company. You need one", she caressed around his wound.

"Don't even pretend to know what I need," he warned.

"I won't pretend that I haven't thought of becoming a middle woman in many cases, for there were more than plenty of opportunities around you, but I always respected your closed up nature. That doesn't mean though that I won't look after your best interests, like you do mine", she became serious.

"And my best interests are learning hair fashion from the Iron Hills?" he teased.

"Nah, but they might include having some company of the opposite sex for once in your life," she smiled.

"You assume too much…" he shook his head.

"Maybe I believe that the proper female company will alleviate all that broodiness from your handsome face," she winked at him.

"Valdis is not the proper female company," he darkened.

"You made that pretty clear to all that night," she pressed her lips and walked around his office, "nevertheless you cannot blame me for trying. More for her sake than yours. Your reaction was expected, but I couldn't stand listening to her constant jabber about you".

His lips pursed, "I prefer to wait for that little girl to grow up and marry her instead".

Dis smiled, "You'd be long dead then!"

"I'll marry her from the grave," he looked up slyly and she laughed. It was the first time he heard a clear and honest laugh from her since he saw her again and his heart rejoiced.

She cupped her chin and looked at him happily, "You know what I think is going on with you?"

"Do enlighten me…" he raised his brow and stood up.

"I am going to become serious, so wipe that silly smile off your face," she warned.

"I am terrified…" he teased.

She looked at him for several moments as he was making a bow on a velvet sword cover and sobered up slightly, "I think you've taken so much responsibility for our family on your shoulders all these years that you forgot there is also Thorin that needs care and attention".

He offered her a derisive look, "and you've thought of that only just now?"

"Don't turn bitter. I've always been thinking about that, but it was a decision you've made long ago. No one could turn that stubborn head of yours around. Have I talked to you few times about taking care of your personal life?" She frowned.

He shook his head.

"You are still carrying on you, myself and my sons…" she eyes cast to the floor and her face paled, "my son…"

He looked up at her worried.

"…Frerin, grandad, dad, mom and all of Durin's folk. So where does Thorin fit into all this?"

He crossed his arms and sat at the edge of his desk, "Thorin is standing on a slippery mountainside several miles south of Ravenhill, gerbil. Let him rest there and let me continue my job here".

She frowned confused, "what?"

He shook his head, "you are grasping at straws. Things have been this way for centuries. They won't change now. I am not going to change now".

She pressed her lips, "Maybe then for once in two centuries you should think about yourself, before you fade into the same miserable greyness our father and grandad had".

He looked at her with a soft smile, "They were chased by far more dangerous demons than the ones you are suspecting. Demons that have been on my trail also".

"I know very well about grandad's sickness that also diminished our dad…and that almost killed you", she felt her eyes welling.

He reached out and grabbed her forearm, "Come here gerbil".

"I am only trying to help you", she said and embraced him.

He covered her whole body with his arms and leaned his cheek on the top of her head, "The only thing I need right now is for you and Fili to be safe and close to me".

She nodded, "So will Thorin remain in that mysterious slippery mountainside?"

His lips twisted, "I don't know".

"Will you ever explain what the hell you are talking about?"

"No…" his face sobered and he looked up as the door opened.

Balin led in Gandalf. "The grey wizard is here to see you laddie".

"Thank you Balin," then he looked down at Dis that had pulled away slightly, "Do you have anything to do today?"

"I will help down at the resident houses of the midland vaults. Fain's daughters will come with me. Gandalf," she acknowledged with a lofty tilt of the head.

"My lady…" the grey wizard bowed.

"Give yourself a break alright?" He advised softly.

Her face opened up, "You too".

When the door closed behind them Gandalf turned to the King, "I came in at the wrong moment?"

Thorin sighed, "No".

Gandalf approached, "What did you need me for?"

"For this…" Thorin pointed at the red velvet sword cover.

Gandalf raised his brow in clear interest.

"Open it up", Thorin sat down and stippled his fingers under his chin.

Gandalf did so and revealed the sword that Thorin had been forging. His fingers run at the runes on the shiny blade and ended up at the dragon on the hilt. Then he looked up, "this is brilliant craftsmanship. Worthy of Celebrimor himself, dare I say".

Thorin eyes smiled up briefly, "Maybe the only Elven craftsman that I would agree to compare myself with".

"Self confident as always Thorin, not that you shouldn't be with such an exceptional creation", he caressed the pommel of the sword.

Thorin's face fell solemn instantly, "Oh, my confidence ends at the borders of the Elven realms, Mithrandir. My skill falls short to many brilliant dwarven craftsmen and I still have a lot to learn from them".

Gandalf tilted his head, "Wisely spoken".

"Now let's concentrate on what's important", Thorin pointed at a very intricate heavy chest at the side of his desk.

"What is this?" Gandalf leaned over with slight apprehension.

Thorin placed his hands on the sides and pushed on a small hidden button that blew the locks away all around it. Then he opened it silently. Gandalf's eyes grew larger than life as they feasted in the amazing and unique jewels that were so much coveted by both races. After a few revering silent moments were the need to put his hand and touch them was only too great he lifted his eyes back at Thorin, "The White Gems…"

Thorin tilted his head loftily and a small knowing smile appeared on his lips.

Gandalf pulled back and sighed, "They will be traded for the Arkenstone…"

Thorin nodded and rounded the desk.

"You want me to take the White Gems to Thranduil?"

Thorin's brow rose darkly, "They don't leave the premises of Erebor, unless I have the Arkenstone in my hands".

Gandalf frowned, "how will that happen may I ask?"

Thorin pointed at the sword "Hopefully with this".

Gandalf raised his brow, "tell me".

"You master Gandalf along with Bilbo are going to be the ones to deliver the -Black Blade- to its new owner", Thorin leaned back majestically making Gandalf's originally confused smile to blossom knowingly.

* * *

"I don't know why I agreed to come, honestly," Eilin said discouraged and looked at the arrow that had hit the end of the circular target. A common dwarf that was training next to her, snickered at her poor aim. She offered him a murderous look, which was cut sort by Bofur's happy voice.

"Don't get so easily discouraged. How many times have you practiced archery before?"

"A couple of times at the tavern. I told you I am tolerable, but I don't have a particular talent in it", she exhaled.

"That is why you are here. Training in order to become better. No one in Erebor, woman, man or child can be left without some basic weapon training. The forests around us are not safe yet. Not even Mirkwood. You need to be able to protect yourselves. All of you!" He cried to the row of men and women that were aligned along with Eilin.

"Taking this a bit too seriously?" Dwalin chuckled.

Eilin turned to the large dwarf that was overlooking the targets with his arms crossed and his face clearly amused.

"Why shouldn't I? Don't they need to learn how to shoot a partially straight arrow?" Bofur placed his hands on his waist annoyed.

"Half of them shoot as if they are cross eyed!" Dwalin pointed at an arrow that was shot by a large ginger-head dwarf. It ended up in the middle of the bark, at least a foot away from the target, "Care to give that one the same attention you are giving Eilin?" Dwalin teased.

Eilin blushed down to her toes.

"That one is hopeless. She isn't!" Bofur smiled brightly.

"I bet she isn't…" Dwalin pursed his lips judgmentally.

"You won't give them a break, will you?" Nori walked casually next to him.

"Of course I won't. He is so obvious in his pursuit that I cannot help myself," Dwalin said in a low tone.

"Truth is everyone is onto him by now. I don't know if the girl is though. She looks totally unaware," Nori offered her a critical look and sipped some of his mead.

Dwalin took the bottle from his mouth and downed almost half of it, "Oh, she knows alright, but I am not sure she is as open to his bold advances. I think her eyes are pointed to another direction that stands a bit too high for her…." And with that he walked a little further off.

Nori frowned and followed him quickly, "Who?"

Dwalin huffed and drank some more before pushing the bottle back into Nori's hands with a silent smile.

Nori pointed an angry finger at him, "Do you know something I don't?"

"Only too many things…now lay still, they are trying again," he said and pointed at the trainees. They all shot their arrows one after the other. Five of them missed completely, three hit the target at the borders, two didn't even manage to release the bow and one shot straight in the air and hit a flying goose from the nearby river. It crashed down by the feet of Bofur who looked at it dejected.

"I am sorry!" The man who managed the impossible shot, cringed.

"If that was on purpose you'd already be signing up for the new army of Erebor," Bofur told him. The man looked down embarrassed, "my friend, what's your name?"

"Ganskjald", the middle aged man replied.

"You Ganskjald, will be my lucky star at the card game tonight. You shall sit next to me and I will not part with a single coin!" Bofur said proudly.

"No, that's unfair! I am paying you 20 coins now to sit next to me Ganskjald!" Nori cried.

Ganskjald looked from one to the other bewildered and Eilin chuckled.

"What are you laughing at? I invite you to come along and see me win every single match with this lucky bastard by my side. Have you ever seen anyone shoot a bloody flying duck out of the sky without knowing how to aim the arrow correctly to begin with?" Bofur winked at her.

She covered her mouth and shook her head, "No".

"There you have it. Now Ganskjald, you won't leave when the training ends. You'll wait for me. As for you my lovely lady, you did a little better this time", he checked on her targeting from afar with a critical gaze.

"It's in the same place it was before!" She said.

Bofur came around her and took the arrow from her hands, "Look at my stance. At my legs and at my arms. Now see I aim much higher than the target", he shot and his arrow hit the bullseye easily.

Eilin exhaled defeated, "I'll never be able to do that," she muttered.

"Not with this kind of mentality. Did you see my stance?" Bofur gave her back the bow and arrow.

She nodded and got ready.

"No pull back a bit, yeah, there, do you want me to align you?" Bofur offered.

"He is going in for the kill," Dwalin smirked at Nori who nodded and drank some mead.

"No, no thank you. I've got it," she muttered quickly and bit her lower lip in deep concentration as she tried to remember how Bofur had been standing.

Nori cringed, "Girl is harder than steel…she just floored him".

Dwalin raised his brow and looked behind Nori.

Bofur pulled back and yelled, "Now ready, aim, fire!"

They all shot and it was a pretty similar disaster to the previous. Only Eilin managed to come a few inches closer to the target but it was not good enough.

"Not good enough!" Bofur noted and she closed her eyes exhausted. This was not going anywhere. She's been practicing with him all morning and she hadn't managed to be more accurate than she was before she even began, "Your stances are all wrong!"

"I think I need to give up for now," she told him.

He grabbed her arm, "you are the only one with a slight chance of getting this right. I'll bring you a cup of ale. Will that help?" His need to keep her there was so painfully obvious that she agreed feeling guilty of wanting to get away.

"Sure"

"Try again, I'll be back in a moment!" Then he turned to the others "Fix your stance, load, aim and fire again! No one rests until you hit the first inner circles!" He cried with authority.

That is when the heavy voice of Dwalin made everyone freeze in place, but most of all turn Eilin's blood to ice, "Everyone in attention for the King!" He hollered.

Eilin began muttering a prayer in Khuzdul and closed her eyes. The last thing she wanted was to have him witness her pathetic tries at archery.

Everyone in the line stood in complete attention except from Eilin that had leaned on her bow resigned to her fate.

Nori chuckled, "this will be interesting…"

Dwalin raised his brow and pursed her lips testily as he saw his best friend talking with the grey wizard. The hobbit was with them. They were not even minding the practice it seemed. They were enveloped in deep conversation.

-.-

"Don't you think your gift is a tiny bit more valuable than his?" Bilbo looked at Thorin.

He winced silently and looked at the target practice area. Instantly his eyes focused on Eilin that was leaning on her bow while the others were shooting.

"Shut your big mouth Baggins!" Gandalf chastised, "The King is making a try, that should be enough for both of us! We don't ruin this rare chance of altruism from either side!"

Thorin chuckled, "You worry your burglar is going to change my mind Mithrandir?"

"I worry his mouth is sometimes too big for his size" Gandalf wised with a soft smile.

"I am just stating the obvious, that's all," Bilbo crossed his arms defensively.

Thorin crossed his arms behind his back and looked majestically at the trainees as they shot another round. Eilin gave it a feeble try that ended up outside the target completely this time. He pursed his lips testily, "Tomorrow you leave for Mirkwood. Offer the sword as a gift from the Dwarves of Erebor to King Thranduil. My only request is that he comes to the Lonely Mountain to discuss the exchange of the Arkenstone for the Gems of Lasgalen".

"Might be a hard request. Last time he did that your grandfather double crossed him," Gandalf said musingly.

Thorin's brow darkened, "I am not Thror".

"Does he know that though?" Gandalf looked at him fixedly.

"He has to risk in order to gain", Thorin rebuked.

"Your risk is equal if not greater," Gandalf wised.

Thorin gave an indifferent look at Gandalf and Bilbo and turned his attention to the field, "My orders are clear. You leave tomorrow".

Gandalf rested his body on his staff and cringed, "very well Thorin. Let's see where this leads us then".

Bilbo scratched his head, "I can't believe I got drawn into this once more".

Thorin's gaze was inscrutable as he observed the try of the archers, "You didn't leave when you had the chance Bilbo, therefore I am going to use you".

Bilbo's lips twitched, "I hope I can help, but this undertaking feels almost impossible to me".

"Everything remains to be seen", Thorin mused and they observed the training for a couple of minutes silently before Gandalf noticed.

"They are a mess aren't they? Most miss the target completely".

Thorin pursed his lips and uncrossed his arms, "I shall test the sword today and leave it at your room when I finish," he said absently and walked slowly down to the archery line.

"Alright," Gandalf frowned.

"Where is he going?" Bilbo placed his hands on his waist.

Gandalf scrounged his lips, "I don't know, but this should be interesting to observe I think master Baggins".

Bilbo crossed his arms and looked at his friend, "why so?"

"Because we might be witnessing a shift in the flow of history as it would have been written, had not events taken this turn," the grey wizard said mystically.

"You are not making any sense again," Bilbo frowned at him.

"Am I not?" Gandalf smiled at him and they both looked at Thorin that had reached the line, but seemed to be interested only in one of the archers.

-.-

"You don't seem to be having any kind of luck", he towered behind her, with his arms crossed behind his back.

She nodded with her eyes closed, "I am so tired of trying. I've been here all morning and now you came along to witness my failures". She sounded as disheartened as she felt. She didn't even want to open her eyes to see him, but she felt the energy emanating from his body.

"Show me how you shoot", that should have been a command, but it sounded more like a gentle request.

She inhaled and took the stance that Bofur had showed her. With eyes that were pooling with fresh tears of desperation she sucked in her runny nose and shot her arrow. It fell even further away from the target, "Happy?" She told him and feeling defeated in front of the only man whose opinion really counted for her, she turned around and made to leave, feeling hurt and double-crossed by her body.

His hand wrapped around her upper arm gently, but kept her in place with a steadiness she didn't want to push against. She stopped and looked at her boots, "No, you don't ran away from a fight", his voice was carefully controlled.

She wiped her nose with the back of her hand, "I never stay for a fight, my Lord".

"Use my name", he whispered and pulled her closer to him.

She felt electrified and instantly obeyed, "Thorin…"

His lips played with a smile, "Time for things to change then. Come in front of me, my Lady".

Her eyes opened up shocked and looked at his. He returned her intense stare calmly, "My lady?"

"Today we shall switch roles. You are my lady and I am your assistant. Does that sound good?"

She swallowed a dry throat and shook her head at a loss for words.

He pulled her carefully and brought her in front of him, "Take out one of your spare arrows and place it in front of your feet perpendicular. The pointy end should be facing the target".

She did as she was told silently and then felt his heavy boot coming between her feet and kicking them gently apart, "Don't keep them too close together".

She closed her eyes and nodded quickly, "Okay", was the only thing she was able to say.

"Keep your eyes closed and raise the bow…good now pull the arrow back to your cheek…no…that's too low. Elbow must be higher up.…". He observed her tries for several seconds before sighing resigned.

Then suddenly she felt enveloped by his immense body that came around her without any questions or hesitation. Overtaking her personal space with an ease that consumed her. One hand came up to steady her elbow and his fingers wrapped around hers on the arrow. The other closed up tightly around her hand that was holding the bow. He pulled back the arrow with a steadiness she couldn't have ever had and placed it on her cheek, "Don't open your eyes. Feel the stance of your body before looking at it," he whispered right next to her ear and the whole left side of her body broke out in goosebumps. She gasped in need of more air, "hold your legs and body straight. Don't slouch," one of his hands left the bow that began trembling under her unsteady grip and pulled her stomach in and then her shoulders. His body created a wall for her to align against and she bit her lower lip. Then his hand wrapped around hers once more, "how does it feel?" He whispered and she felt his hot breath scorching her cheek.

"perfect…" her reply came quick and unbidden and she felt his smile.

"Now open your eyes".

She did and she could see straight into the target.

"There are three stances you can take. Neutral, open and closed. The stance you are in now is the neutral and you always start with that. Your toes must be perpendicular to the arrow. The arrow pointing at the target. Feet and shoulders equally apart for perfect stability and body proudly straight. How do you know which of the three stances to use in each shot?" He asked with the same deep voice that vibrated all over her body making it hard for her to breathe calmly.

"I have no bloody idea," she admitted, not really caring about her target practice by that point.

He chuckled and she shuddered, "Do you see your target?"

She nodded.

"If it is off to the right, you pull your left leg back a bit and that is opening up your stance. If it is off to the left you bring you left leg forth a little and that is closing your stance. Most of the times you shall be aligned on neutral, and closing stance is very rare. Where is your target?"

"To the right," she said feeling her heart palpitating.

"Adjust your stance," he said.

She swallowed but didn't move.

His boot came forth and nudged her left leg back, "Open stance Eilin".

"Okay", she tittered.

"Now where is your target?" He repeated.

"Straight ahead".

His hand raised the bow up steadily but on a straight line from the target, "always aim higher as the trajectory of the arrow will be curved downwards".

She bit her lower lip and nodded, "steady the tremble in your hands and shoot straight, my Lady", he whispered and she felt the roughness of his beard on her cheek.

She almost melted against him, "don't speak to me like that when I am about to shoot or I will mess everything up," she whispered back, unwilling to hold her thoughts from him anymore.

He turned his face slightly until his lips were touching her soft skin close to her ear and she felt a thundering tightness that run down her spine and ended up to the pit of her stomach, "release it," he exhaled on her and she released the arrow hoping that she wouldn't fall apart in his arms in front of all those people. The arrow found the target dead centre and tore Bofur's arrow in half. Everyone around them applauded.

He pulled back to a safer distance and she looked mesmerised at her achievement, "I didn't do this...you did", she muttered.

"I just showed you how to do it. Now you try," he offered with a calm smile.

She looked at his azure eyes and had to restraint from jumping on him and planting a kiss on his cheek like she had done so unexpectedly on their night at the elven lake. He had made her happier than she had been the whole damned morning, "Thank you," she beamed at him.

He pointed at her with his chin, "Now, wipe those tears away," his eyes darted around them and his lips formed a coy smile that made her heart beat faster, "because I cannot do that in front of them, even though I want to".

She bit her lower lip and felt her cheeks catching fire, "I don't know if I want to laugh or cry", she admitted.

"I'd advice practice", he wised.

"I will!"

He hesitated briefly before speaking in a low tone again, "I will be at the royal training grounds today after lunch".

She looked at him wide eyed.

"Do you remember how to come?"

She nodded quickly.

"Then if you want me to help you further with your archery, you know where to find me", he offered with an appealing smile.

Her mouth dropped open.

"Good morning my Lady", he said and bowed his head slightly, leaving her behind mesmerised.

At a distance Bofur stood with a bottle of mead in his hands looking down at the field rather bewildered. Nori came up next to him with Dwalin, "Well that was more interesting than I was expecting…" Nori said thoughtfully.

"What was?" Bofur pretended to look at the label on his bottle.

"Didn't you see that?" Nori pointed at Eilin that was musing at her bullseye.

"I just saw Thorin assisting his maiden in archery, what did you see?" Bofur spat and placed the bottle down.

"Formidable competition. You need to amp up your game in order to win this one," Nori raised his brow.

"No way can Thorin be interested in her," Bofur frowned with uncertainty.

"Them sparks were hot enough to light the fires of Erebor's monstrous furnaces, I tell you," Nori looked at Dwalin playfully.

Dwalin pursed his lips, but didn't speak.

Bofur crossed his arms and frowned as Thorin walked back to the city and Eilin remained there musing for several minutes, before deciding to try a shot again. She followed his advice and her aim may have not been as perfect as his, but it was pretty close to the centre. She clapped happily at seeing some results. They could have been even better, but her stomach was in tight knots, her heart was palpitating, her legs were shaky and her arms terribly unsteady...and how could they not be, after what he just did with her, or after what he just told her? Her mind was already trying to remember the route to the royal training grounds and she was planning ahead which pony to ask for, before the King was out of her sight.

Not even noticing the troubled looks from Bofur, Dwalin and Nori. Totally missing that Karunn was standing several feet behind Dwalin, her eyes dead cold upon the maiden that had risen from cleaning horse shit in the Iron Hills, to having the King of Erebor at her service. Eilin didn't feel the dark energy coming from that side of the river. Her mind was already travelling far ahead after lunch as she shot again and again with renewed fervour each time she hit the target one step closer to the bullseye. Each shot causing several events to set off in motion…for and against her on equal terms.

She just wanted to show him how much she tried to learn…from him…and for him…..or plainly...egotistically to admit that she wanted to have him to herself once more.


	21. A game of trust

The sword swished, cutting the air in two, stopping three inches away from the tree bark were it remained steady and unmoving. His gaze glided down the shinny length of the weapon, checking on each rune that bespoke of it's name with scrutinising intent until it reached the pointy end. His eyes thinned expecting to see it slightly shaking under the unsteady grip of his wounded side, but no. It was a perfection of stillness. After that night were Eilin found him out of breath and beaten by his inability to use his sword hand, he had been training everyday. Some mornings with Dwalin, most of them alone. Out here or in his chambers, sometimes even at his blacksmith station. No matter the basic need to keep his slaughtered side untroubled, he pushed through stubbornly. Time and time again kneeling down from the pain, then steadying his shuddering breath, steeling his heart and standing once more to try even harder until he had no breath left.

When he ended up in the hot springs trying to alleviate his pains, Oin always checked on him to make sure that he hadn't harmed himself further. The wound was healing very well and the pain had almost faded to nothing, unless he was over exerting himself. So repeatedly he failed and retried, until his sword hand was not a trembling mess anymore. Day after day it became steadier and more reliable. He looked at the balanced tip that could hold a feather on it without a whisper of movement and a small satisfied smile broke on his lips. The silence of the snowy forest around him was broken only by the shuffling of small animals and the occasional owl or hawk flying overhead. He sheathed his sword and came down to his knee. He took off his leather gloves in order to warm his hands by the fire, in no particular need to return to Erebo, when fast galloping broke the serenity around him.

He didn't turn his head to see if it was her, for he was certain. He smiled at the fire and rubbed his cold hands against each other. The galloping became a canter and then a trot. When it stopped he inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, his ears picking up the smallest of movements behind him. The rider alighted with a light thump and soft footfalls came up behind him.

"If I was an enemy you would have been dead by now", her voice was quiet.

He looked above his shoulder to see her pointing her arrow at him, "you are so loud you can be heard over at Mirkwood. You need to work on your stealth and that's been said by someone who's stealth is poor in comparison to those pesky elves".

She exhaled and came around to the fire, "thought I'd make you smile with that one".

"You did," he looked at her calmly as she kneeled next to him. She was wearing a dark brown coat with white thick fur around its neck and heavy fur boots above her leather pants. His sigil was on the sleeve of her coat and her mad red curls were as usual untamed around her face and body.

"What?" She asked and her cheeks became as red as her hair.

"My sister must be going crazy with that hair of yours", he noticed.

Eilin passed her fingers through the thick curls and nodded, "she is. She tells me to braid it all the time, but it's too thick and entangled at times. It hurts me to braid. Especially those complicated hair do's that Lady Dis enjoys so much".

He smiled, "I like them the way they are".

Her blush expanded to the tip of her nose and he found that endearing, "You do?"

He nodded with a quiet side smile, "thought you wouldn't come".

She lowered her eyes, "there was no question that I would. I just had a hard time finding an animal. No one was willing to give me one".

He looked above his shoulder at the small brown pony and frowned, "then maybe we should get you one so you wouldn't have a similar problem in the future".

"What? No, I don't require such a thing out of you Thorin" she said sweetly.

"You used my name unhindered. That deserves you horse, not a pony", he noted.

Her eyes grew wide, "I've never ridden a horse in my life".

"Maybe it's time for you to start then".

She munched on her bottom lip thoughtfully and then looked at him, "Thank you for helping me out this morning. It meant a lot".

"I saw that", he frowned.

"I got disappointed too soon and seeing you there just broke me down completely", she admitted.

"Afraid to show me your failures?" He looked at her.

"Wouldn't you be?" She lowered her eyes.

"Haven't you seen my failures perchance? At this very same place during that stormy night? Haven't you picked me up and brought me home when I couldn't even stand? Why would you fear to show me your failures then?" His gaze was heavily fixed on her.

She nodded, "you are right".

"Failure is just a stepping stone to success, Eilin. A couple of shots outside a target is nothing to be embarrassed about. Especially when you've never had proper battle training", he turned his eyes to the fire.

"When I was working in that tavern the stable master, Matthew, always insisted that I must learn how to wield at least one weapon".

He raised his brow.

"You've been to human villages and their sleazy taverns of course, haven't you?"

He nodded and brought his hands close to the fire.

"Too many low life criminals coming and going. Not to mention the burglars and abusive fiends that are roaming the fields around the villages. He said I needed protection. So he decided to teach me archery. We used to go out early in the morning at five, when the rest of the tavern was asleep and train for an hour a couple of times a week. I learned how to handle the weapon more or less, but never got around to aiming well. Soon enough I left them and in the Dunlands I didn't get a chance to practice. I was too busy surviving or using my already meagre skills to catch a rabbit to eat you know", she said quietly.

He was looking at her intensely.

She found his eyes and pressed her lips, "Of course you know..."

He nodded again, "How long did you live alone in the Dunlands?"

"Several months. A family of vagabond Dwarfs found me and they were headed to the IronHills. I followed them in exchange for manual labour. I carried most of their staff on my back since they didn't have a carriage. That is how I ended up under Master Fain's command".

"Then my sister took a liking at you…" a thoughtful side-smile appeared on his lips.

"She did, and now contrary to all belief I am sitting right next to the King of Erebor, talking with him so intimately after he became my assistant in archery. Sometimes I think I am dreaming you know", she muttered and mused at him entranced, "I cannot even believe that I had the audacity to steal a pony…don't look at me like that…I couldn't find one therefore I stole her….and came find you. I must be dreaming".

"you are not…"

"Then pinch me!" She suddenly got animated.

He frowned, "what?"

"Pinch me…" she drew up the sleeve of her coat and took off her glove, "…pinch me hard to convince me that I am not dreaming", she insisted.

His warm hand encircled her small wrist and drew her close to him with no hesitation. Then he brought her hand up and she looked mesmerised as his soft lips touched her skin and offered her a kiss that exploded a balloon full of butterflies in her stomach. She gasped unable to find words to reply to that and his lips dragged softly on her skin, the roughness of his beard creating the perfect contrast, "you are not dreaming", his deep voice rumbled and all the hair on her body stood on attention. Was it wrong for her to want more from him? That she didn't want him to let go of her hand? Was she asking, or wanting to much?

"Why did you ask me here today?" She murmured, not making any attempt to pull away from him and trying hard not to come even closer.

"To help with your archery of course," he said quietly, but his eyes spoke differently as did the michievious smile on his lips.

"Yes, but why would you help me?" She insisted and licked the inside of her lips.

"Because I don't want to see you feel defeated again, like I saw you this morning".

"Yes, but why here? Why not close to Erebor, why me?" Her eyes jumped all over his face.

"Too many questions…" he smirked and let go of her hand.

She drew it back regretfully, but didn't pull away from him, "Ok, I'll give you one then. Why here?"

"because I wanted to have you all to myself", he gazed at her.

She shuddered, "don't jest please".

"I am not…" he averted his eyes and she felt the tension melting to the ground, "…I cannot have a moment of peace at Erebor and that's nothing unusual for me. So if I want to have some peace of mind, I need to distance myself from the city. I wanted your company today, but in Erebor we were under heavy scrutiny, so I invited you out here where we can be alone and unhindered. Where I can be Thorin, not the King, and you can be Eilin…."

"Not the stable girl from the IronHills", she added with a small smile, "I understand".

"Thank Mahal…" he teased.

"Perfect then! Now are you with me?" she smiled widely as if pulled out of a trance all of a sudden, and pointed at him.

"You got animated all of a sudden, how come?" He smirked confused.

"I want to show you what I did after you left me this morning!"

"Υou practiced?"

"Intensely! Want to see?" She asked him and stood up.

"Sure", he nodded.

She picked up her bow, "I need a target…." She looked around her thoughtfully.

"You need to be careful not to shoot too far away from the target because there might be wild animals around that could possibly attack if they feel threatened. We are far away from the city and surrounded by wilderness", he advised.

"That's suppose to steady my hand? You are scaring me…." She smiled.

"I am warning you, and this apple should be enough for a target. What do you think?" He said and pulled one out of his leather bag.

She bit her lower lip and pulled several long curls away from her face, "eh…too small?"

He chuckled and walked over to her. He pulled an arrow from her back quiver and walked to a tree that was some ways off. There he pierced the arrow through the apple and onto the tree bark, "it's perfect…now resume stance".

She bit both lips and the thought of luring him close to her, to repeat his Erebor knee-loosening performance was too hard to resist. "Mmm…I will need some help in order to remember", she pretended to think.

He walked over to her, "You don't remember how to resume stance even though you want to show me how much you trained?" His brow rose slowly.

She cast her eyes down and felt her cheeks blushing, "might be that I am trying to forget who you really are and pretend that you are just a random dwarf I really like. You know like a miner, a mason…anyone I would have the courage to ask help from".

He placed his thumbs on his heavy belt and raised his brow "random sword smith".

She shook her head, "one of the best sword smiths I've ever met", she needed in some manner to show him how much she wanted this, but she was lacking in courting experience so much, she only made herself more embarrassed if possible.

Without approaching much, possibly on purpose, he looked at her. "Enough with the compliments. Show me your neutral", he said quietly.

Her shoulders deflated and she blew him a raspberry before resuming a very poor neutral that she was certain it wouldn't satisfy him. Hoping that this would be enough to lure him in to fix her stance.

"Several mistakes made", he looked at her critically.

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply calling on patience, "then maybe you can take hold of my hands and show me exactly how to correct my mistakes, like you did before!"

"I'll talk you through the proper steps", he said casually and she looked back at him with disbelief.

"I don't believe this!" she exclaimed and lowered her bow.

He raised his brow at her calmly, "What..."

"You brought me into this place, to -talk me through a lesson- instead of showing it to me practically?" she felt her nape crawling with annoyance. It was as if he knew how much she wanted this to be repeated and he was avoiding just to piss her off.

"You came to this place, so I can -practically show you- or to learn no matter which method I use?" he said with a fleeting smile on his lips.

She was sure that smoke was coming out of her ears by then, "Thorin, for the beard of Mahal, stop annoying me!"

"Very well, I will! Now take on a proper neutral! Use the arrow perpendicular to your feet and straighten your body!" his playful tone instantly turned commanding.

She gritted her teeth, "Fine", she did as she was told.

"I don't even have to come over to see that the target is to your right. Which stance must you take?"

"Open..." she hissed.

"What are you waiting for to open it up then? An invitation?" he pushed.

Seeing her meagre effort to bring him close to her failing so badly made her shoulders slouch defeated. Suddenly she didn't want to tease him closer anymore, and neither did she want to see this commanding side of his, "Please don't talk to me like that..." she said quietly.

She heard the two steps taken towards her and instantly felt his energy encompassing her. His hand slithered around her stomach and pulled her back to him. Her heart gave two strong thuds and then began racing as her body suddenly came alive. She felt her hands unlocking and the bow lowered to the ground when his fingers pulled her long hair away from her face. "Next time, instead of trying to lure me in, ask clearly and you shall receive", he whispered and she felt his rough beard on her cheek sending waves of goosebumps through her body.

"I am sorry", she tittered, already feeling defeated and loving every single moment of it.

"Did I scare you?" his mouth grazed close to her ear and her eyelid closed heavily.

"Mmm, a little", she murmured and leaned her head back to his shoulder.

"You are here to learn self defence, are you not?" his fingers traced her cheek softly.

"Right now, I am not so sure..." she whispered and felt them moving slowly towards her jawline.

His chuckle echoed down to her poor stomach that clenched in agony.

"I am quite certain that you are getting a kick out of tormenting me..." she swallowed hard.

"Just a trace...", his rough knuckles ran a gentle caress from her jawline up to her temple. Then instead of unfolding more on her as she was eagerly expecting, he pushed her head up from his shoulder and straightened her body away from his, "Now concentrate. Face forward, and open stance, Eilin".

She nodded and inhaled deeply. "Alright, already. I get it!"

He laughed quietly, "Kill that bleeding apple my beauty", he slowly pulled away, making her regret the loss of his heat.

"I will get it, you just wait and see!" She said trying to make her voice sound self assured when in reality she was too shaky and unbalanced.

"Show it who's the boss", he smiled and she released the arrow that scratched slightly the right corner of the apple and got stuck in the tree bark, "Oh, damn…" she looked at it regretfully.

"Close enough. You didn't open your stance properly. Leg a bit further back and try again…."

She nodded and got ready to change position, when he grabbed her by the shoulders suddenly, "…no, changed my mind…wait for it….", he began spinning her around, once, twice, thrice and then he released her.

She staggered and laughed out loud, "why the hell did you do that for?"

He chuckled, "just to hear you laugh".

"Thorin!" She yelled trying to get her balance back.

"And to hear you use my name in a commanding manner. I like that…" he left a small insinuation there that send a strong signal of warmth at the pit of her belly.

"You are driving me crazy with you shenanigans today!" she whined.

"Good...that was exactly what I was aiming for", he tilted his head.

"Come on, now I lost how I am supposed to be standing", she said truly annoyed.

He kicked the arrow in front of her feet and it lost it's orientation, "Damn, I think I just messed up your arrow also...by mistake".

"By mistake...sure", she inhaled annoyed and picked it up.

"Now do everything from the start properly, without my assistance. Pretend I am not here", he said and waved around casually.

"Oh, come on…" she frowned.

"Nope, now you do it alone…see?" He walked towards the fire, "I am going to rearrange the logs because we are going to freeze to death soon and then try out my sword a couple of times. You practice and whenever you need me to see a shot, call on me", he said nonchalantly as he walked away with self assured steps.

She looked at his long thick wavy hair and felt her jawline tightening. Did he just abandon her, after playing with her so roughly? This was a side of him she had never seen before, and she didn't know if she enjoyed it, if it was making her mad, or maybe both at the same time. She huffed a whole bout of annoyance through her nose and muttered, "Fine, you'll just wait and see!" And then she hollered after him, "that was bloody unfair!"

"Life is unfair, get used to it!" He rebuked without turning around.

"As if I don't know that already," she exhaled and took all the steps he had taught her. Then she steadied her bow and tried another shot that cracked the apple in half even though the arrow had barely touched it's butt. One piece got blown to smithereens, the other one remained stuck on the tree, hanging from the arrow he pierced it with by a thread. "See I did it!" She cried and pointed eagerly at the apple.

He turned nonchalantly and observed it for a couple of moments, "There's still a piece there. A straight shot would have obliterate everything. Try again until there is no sign of the apple left on that tree!"

"The remaining piece is one fourth of the original one! How am I suppose to hit such a small target?" she hollered, getting red in the face.

"By practicing", he said calmly and drew out the magnificent sword she had seen him forge.

"Wow", she murmured and lowered her bow, not knowing if she wanted to slap him silly for pissing her off, if she wanted to admire him as he began a series of parries and attacks or simply drop all pretence and kiss him to kingdom come. The arrow touched the toe of her boot as her eyes feasted on his impeccable art of sword fighting.

One one of his rapid twists they came face to face and he lowered his weapon, "you're not training…" he noticed.

She shook her head, "no you're training and I'm admiring".

He pressed his lips and sighed, "don't bid for time and destroy what remains of that apple. I am going to warm up some ale for us to drink afterwards".

She smiled, "that's my bribe?"

"Isn't it enough?"

"Hardly", she cringed, other rewards overflowing her mind tantalisingly.

"Don't ask for more than you can handle," he shooed her and with a smug smile that she wanted to wipe out of his mouth in any manner available, and continued to train as if he had done that in front of thousands of people all his life.

_-well he probably has…_

She turned around and squared her shoulders against that broken apple determined. She was going to make it disappear from that tree bark if that was the last thing she was going to do. Then she was going to show him her accomplishment proudly and she'd see that self assured smile wiped off his handsome lips. Well, there was the other option of trying to kiss that smile away from those lips...and that thought made her jawline tighten almost painfully.

She cringed against her unbidden thoughts and with one last look back at him, she began a series of shots towards that formidable apple that stood strong through each and everyone of them. She aimed, looked at the target, fixed her stance and still that apple eluded the pointy side of her arrows. Sure they hit pretty close, some even scraped past it with their body, but none pierced it through and through. She kept on trying until her quiver was empty and then she marched up to the tree picked them up, except from one that was too deeply embedded under the apple and returned to resume her practice.

With each shot her jawline was becoming tighter and her body stiffer, and with each failure she felt on the verge of tears once more. What did he tell her? That his assistance this morning was because he didn't want to see her defeated anymore, wasn't it? Well, now she was feeling her failures even heavier than ever and what was he doing? He was rubbing a cloth on the blade of his sword, his face calmly unreadable. Not even looking at her. When she was down to her last arrow she felt her fingers numb from the cold and her patience running thin so she turned to him very much decided. She was either going to make him embrace her like before, or at the very least she would have his attention. She was doing all this for him at the end of the day. "Can you at least pretend to be interested in what I am trying to do?" She didn't want to sound biting, but it was impossible not to.

The small smile on the side of his lips was enough to let her know that his attention had never wavered from her, "I am".

"You sure don't look like it", she said.

"I am looking at your tries. Some are pretty accurate, but still the big one is eluding you," he turned and looked at her.

"As if I didn't know," she turned towards the target.

"Try harder", he said easily.

"Come help me please," she felt her eyes filling with tears of frustration.

"No, not this time", his voice was no nonsense.

"Thorin…!" She stomped her foot down.

"Why do you wish me to come over again? You know how to fix your stance..." He frowned.

"Because I might be enjoying your arms around me more than I would have ever dared to admit, hadn't I been so pissed off with you right now!" She barked and turned at him.

He pulled back with a coy smile and chuckled, "that was more impulsive than I could have ever hoped, but contradictory as hell".

She felt her shoulders slouching and her lip pouted, "I am sorry" she admitted defeated.

His lips upturned in a genial smile that brightened up his face, "Did you just actually admit that you want a hug?"

She cringed, "I did…"

"From the King of Erebor? Your audacity is unprecedented", he raised his brow testily.

She bit her upper lip in uncertainty and after a few silent moments were she quaked in her boots, she tried timidly, "No…I want it from Thorin".

His face mellowed down into a handsome smile, "You asked and therefore you shall receive. It will be my pleasure".

She smiled widely, "now?"

"When you hit that apple!" He raised an austere finger at her.

She huffed through her nose and her eyebrows came together angrily, "Fine!" She turned towards the apple aimed and fired, but her hands were unsteady and her stance completely wrong. The arrow flew off to the right and landed somewhere into the forest. That wouldn't have been such a great deal, if her missed mark wasn't accompanied with a painful and very heavy squeal that made the hair on her nape stand in attention. She cringed and took a step back, "Thorin?" She whispered.

He was already on his feet with his sword at the ready, "don't move", he said quietly.

Several deep grunts and snorts came from the same area and she took three more steps back in terror. Apparently her arrow found a live target and they were not so happy about it. "Thorin I think I shot something back there," she tried with a meek voice.

"I am bloody well aware. Back up to me slowly. Don't make any sudden sounds", he said and began walking careful towards her without wanting to alert the wounded animal of their presence.

She gripped the bow tightly and began backing up towards him, without looking properly where she was stepping. It was only a matter of time to step on a branch and cause chaos and that is what happened. The crack under her foot made her raise her eyes towards the area where the grunts were coming from and feel her blood freezing, "Thorin?" She murmured again unable to think properly.

He didn't have the time to answer as a large sized wild boar jumped out of the trees and grunted at her madly. Her arrow was sticking out of it's hind leg. She cried, lost her footing and landed on her back messily. A rock stabbed her hip and she yelled in pain and terror, "Help me Thorin!" She cried as she saw the wild boar turning at her. It was clearly ready to attack. That is when a large rock found it dead centre above the snout with a muted thumb and it backed up momentarily surprised. Then it's murderous attention turned to Thorin that had cast the stone at it. She looked behind her frozen, "what the hell did you do? It's going to come after you now!"

He swallowed hard, "I know. Stand up as quietly as you can and resume your stance".

"What?" She frowned and looked at the wild boar that was moving deliberately towards Thorin.

"Stand up and resume your stance! You have to shoot it!" He looked at her fleetingly.

She placed her hands down and pushed up carefully, "I cannot shoot it, I am no good at it. Run away from it's path!" She felt her heart palpitating and her fingers numb.

"I cannot ran faster than this beast in my condition and I don't have a bow. Either you shoot it or I will have to fight it up close and personal, which I don't think will end up very well," he said with blunt honestly and enviable self control. It was as if he was not standing in front of certain death at that moment. His hand tightened around the sword.

With shaking extremities and her blood growing cold, she stood up and pulled an arrow. She resumed her stance almost to perfection and aimed the wild boar, "I cannot do this, I cannot do this, it's going to kill you, I cannot do this", she kept murmuring.

His eyes fell on her intensely, "My life is in your hands Eilin…a game of trust", his voice penetrated through her foggy brain and woke up it's most protective threads.

She felt tears blurring her eyes and lowered the bow to clear them, "don't do this to me Thorin, I won't be able to bring it down…please", she begged.

He frowned, "Yes, you can. You can do it…"

She raised the bow up again and nodded, "I can do it, I can do it, I can do it," her pale lips kept repeating, trying to convince herself that she was able to pull through for him.

The wild boar dug with it's hoof on the ground and Thorin's eyes thinned, "Right about now would be a good idea to shoot it..."

She inhaled deeply and opened up her stance, "I can do it", she said again.

The boar grunted angrily and suddenly run towards him with a menace incomparable. He backed up ready to face it, when he heard it's painful roar once more and he saw it falling to the ground and sliding up to him with speed. He brought down his boot on it's head and stopped it's advance. An arrow was buried straight into its neck. He gazed up at Eilin that had lowered her bow and looked ready to collapse, "That was a brilliant aim…" he said calmly.

She dropped her bow down and run to him faster than the wild boar. Her momentum knocked him several feet back and he dropped his sword. He held her from the biceps to calm her down, "Hey, take it easy…." He tried.

"it could have killed you! It was running up to you! I could have missed! You could have died!" She was yelling at him.

"Eilin it's dead, you killed it!" He tried.

"No one should trust me with their lives and above all you! I don't want you hurt! I could have missed! Why did you rely on me?! Are you bat-shit crazy?!" The last sentence was almost screamed at his face and he got ready to reply when suddenly she grabbed him awkwardly by the shoulders and pulled him on her. Then her arms wrapped around the back of his neck and one hand got buried with such possessive anger into his hair that he winced in pain. Her fingers picked up his warrior braid between them as they twisted inside his mane and nailed his scalp. He opened his mouth to speak, but then her lips were on his cheek pressing so hard he could feel her teeth behind them and his need to calm her down braked so suddenly that he lost his breath. When her mouth went to his other cheek to offer him an equally hard and untrained kiss of concern he felt his eyes closing down, and his hands tightened around her biceps more.

"How could you trust me with your life you bloody fool!" She hissed on his beard and her nails scratched the skin of his head in despair.

"You are hurting me…" He tried to use his voice, but it was coarse.

"Yes I am! I am going to scratch the idiocy out of you if I have to! You scared me so bad…so bad that I never want to let you out of my arms again!" She sniffled and he felt her warm tears getting trapped on his beard.

"Eilin…" he frowned, but she decided to silence him once and for all.

Forgetting the pathetic semi-measures with his cheeks she sealed his mouth shut with hers.

His breath hitched when he felt the softness and fullness of her warm lips capturing his, in an unexpected kiss that betrayed both her inexperience and her passionate possession. As her free hand climbed up to grab his other warrior braid tightly, her lips opened up to taste his, in a sloppy and wet dance that rammed the air out of his lungs. His hands pulled her in, and that was exactly the encouragement she needed. She pressed her body on him so fiercely that he had to take a couple of steps back to keep his balance, until the bark of a tree stopped his retreat. Even then she was not satisfied. She stood on tiptoe and pulled him down until she could get control of every single inch of his face. One of her legs lifted up to wrap around his thigh in order to lock him in place and her mouth….that ravenous part of her body was trying to taste him with an animalistic urge that he wouldn't have ever thought possible from this timid and always careful maiden.

His need to reciprocate was muted by her need for dominance over him and he could do little, but allow her to experiment freely. Her inexperienced tries ended up with him bearing a heavily wet mouth and beard, and a body that was jolted by fiery blasts every time she tried to use her tongue on him. Sensations long forgotten through the centuries and buried at the deepest corners of his mind got awoken so suddenly that he was seeing stars in his eyes, even though Eilin was really sort coming on the kiss department. The more she was trying to show him how much she wanted this, the more he wanted to kiss her back, but her sloppiness was stopping him, until he pulled back dazed and foggy in order to take a breath, "Wait, Eilin…" his whisper was husky and he was panting as hard as she was. The tree behind, was holding both of them up, because at that moment his knees had turned to mush.

She looked at him confused for a few seconds and then the passionate glaze of her eyes got replaced by a slowly growing realisation, followed by a gleam of apprehension, "Oh shit! What did I do to you?" She asked herself.

He felt his wet and slightly abused lips, smiling gently, "Pushed me back to a tree while trying to snog the life out of me?"

The apprehension in her eyes turned into full blown terror, "I am so sorry Thorin! I don't even know how to kiss. I don't know why I did this….please forgive me," she tittered and her leg released his thigh and her nails declawed from his scalp hurriedly. She tried to pull away from him, but he didn't allow her.

"It's okay…" He pulled her back in place.

She turned around and looked at him with eyes that were wet and regretful and a bottom lip that was trembling, "I am so sorry…" she repeated.

"Look..it's easy…", he said and one hand left her bicep that he bruised in his need to keep her in place and cupped her cheek gently. His forefinger caressed her under the earlobe and instantly her stiff body relaxed. His other hand pressed the small of her back until she was flushed against him. He pulled her chin up and lowered his head until their lips were touching once again, "let's try this one more time alright?"

She nodded mesmerised, "okay…".

He kissed her bottom lip once and then the upper, "gently…" he whispered between his soft pecks. She closed her eyes and her hands came up his chest and grabbed hold of his vest. He took one of her hands and brought it up to his face, making her cup his cheek and jawline, "touch me…" he whispered on her and his tongue came out to trace the ridges and valleys of her lips just barely.

She gasped and her fingers tightened around his jawline.

His other hand moved away from her waist until it found the part of her upper hip that took most of her fall, "are you in pain?" His fingers mulled her hip gently.

She closed her eyes feeling her chest bursting from bliss, "not anymore…" she whispered.

His hand then wrapped under her leg and pulled it up, "Then put it back where it was before…", he smiled.

She huffed at his teasing, but when his tongue entered her mouth in the softest exploration he had given a woman in years she mewled. Her fingers searched hungrily for an entrance into his mane again, but were more timid in their caress this time. When he felt her tongue twisting around his sloppily, he pulled back slightly until she stopped, but kept their lips locked, "Don't haste through this. I am not going anywhere".

"Okay," she said and that word transformed into a breathy moan that he elicited as he deepened his kiss without hurrying through it. His hand kept her thigh locked around his and his other hand caressed her beautiful face as he offered her forgotten kisses whose art he believed he had locked away into the dark dungeons of his soul, after Siv's death...but the memory of them was still there. As vivid as if he had used them only just yesterday for the last time. He tuned the pace perfectly for both of them, until she aligned with him and began learning how to use her lips, teeth and mouth to elicit small gasps of pleasure from him…..and they kissed softly... and firmly... slowly...and passionately...for a long time.

Under a steady snowfall they stood embraced, with the heat of their bodies elevated and their faces aflush. They kissed a few feet away from the wild boar that she had shot with a perfect aim to save his life, long after the blazing fire had died down to mere orange embers. They never heard the muted trot of Dwalin's horse on the snowy ground, nor did they see his solemn features hidden at the other side of the clearing. They missed his steady gaze on them for a few tense moments before he set his horse on a trot towards Erebor once more.

She melted under him and he kissed her until his mind had forgotten every single thread of his painful past or heavy present and only the softness of her lips and the roundness of her warm curves were there for him. His hand got buried into her wild long red hair and he inhaled her scent as if it was the only thing that could feed air into his lungs. They stopped only when their bruised lips felt too painful to continue and even then they didn't pull back. She buried her head under the nook of his neck and he embraced her and leaned his cheek at the top of her head.

She was the first one to speak after a long time, "Wow…"

He nodded, "and then some…"

Her arms tightened around him, "Is this what it feels like when you kiss a winter storm?"

He smirked and kissed the top of her head, "you are getting too good with compliments".

"It's easy with you..." she whispered.

"Thank you my beautiful Eilin". He exhaled and closed his eyes. After a long silence were his steady caress through her long thick hair, cooled her down she spoke again, "Do I taste like frogs?"

He frowned, "Frogs?"

She nodded and flicked her shoulder feeling the traces of embarrassment scooting away the heat his kisses had ignited.

"wait…let me check…" his lips captured hers once and undulated between the top and the bottom one for a brief moment. Then just as she was closing her eyes again he pulled back and made her reopen them.

Her fingers massaged his nape tenderly, "Did you get the taste now?"

"No…a bit more just to be sure", he whispered and dragged his lips on her half open mouth before allowing his tongue to delve into her carven, tasting her deeply. That woke a moan from her and she let her head free fall onto his palm that kept her locked to him.

"Now?" She asked with foggy eyes when he stopped.

He frowned down at her seriously and his finger caressed the side of her mouth, "nope, not yet..need more", he admitted and came down on her as firmly if not more than before.

She pulled back, "stop teasing me and tell me if I taste like frogs…" she panted.

A low rumble vibrated from his chest and he picked her up easily and turned them around. Suddenly she found her back pressed unceremoniously against the tree. The broadness of his chest and his thigh kept her easily off the ground and she felt like she was floating. Her leg wrapped behind his and her arms took good hold of him, like he was the ultimate prize. His mouth grazed hers gently once…twice… and his tongue came out to stroke her lips. She met him half way and closed her eyes, "this one tastes like flowers…", he whispered and then his lips nestled on top of hers immovable as their tongues twirled around each other, "this one like honey…", a soft groan escaped him that made her unwillingly cream her underwear and her fingers tightened on his skin. Then his tongue retreated and he caught her lower lip between his teeth, before sucking it in so hungrily that she shuddered, "…and this one tastes like bloody life…" his rough voice send clouds of ecstasy through her mind and she hissed in pleasure.

Then he released her and pulled back, "all right for the taste test?"

She shook her head "No"

He frowned down at her.

"I need you to check a couple of times more…" her eyes rose up to him in a such a tempting manner that he shoved her back against the tree.

The end of her exhalation was caught in a soft moan, "Please?" She added quietly.

His eyes became several tones darker just before he came down to her. Her plead was meant to provoke him to deliver more and he did. That kiss was more fire igniting than anything he had tried on her up till then. It was firm, demanding, dominating and so total that she lost all sense of the world around her, and of her body. The only thing that was burning bright in her foggy mind was that his mouth was doing to her unspeakable things that also wreaked havoc on her nether regions. When it was finally extinguished, her head was dizzy, she was heaving and she was certain that if he allowed her to step down, she would probably collapse.

"Are you alright?" he asked gently and pulled her head under his neck protectively.

"I am in heaven..." she whispered and caressed the side of his neck.

"Maybe we should get closer to the fire", he said.

"I don't want to move", she admitted, feeling on cloud number nine.

"Eilin, we're going to freeze. Can you walk?"

She snickered by his uncanny ability of knowing exactly how much he had affected her, "Probably not...", she admitted.

He snorted, "Be serious for once. Nightfall is coming and it's dangerous being out here at this hour. We need to get back to the fire, or to the horses".

"Alright, you want serious, I'll give it to you. I don't want to go back to the fire and I certainly don't want to go back to Erebor…" she frowned and looked at the slow snowfall that was covering the darkened forest.

"Why?" He caressed her cheek.

"There we shall have to part ways. Actually I feel that we are going to part the moment you pull me away from this tree", she cast her eyes down and felt her heart losing the glow it had gained from their kisses.

He pulled her into his embrace and she snuggled there inhaling his musky scent, "What is going on through your mind? We will part in the end, but only temporarily. Do you fear that all this will end the moment we get back to the city?"

She nodded and felt her eyes tearing up, "I will have to go back to being your sister's maiden and you the King of Erebor. Upon your golden throne, surrounded by your court. Running a city of gold…"

"The King will probably do all that, but what about Thorin? I bet he will be seeking out your company like mad", he smiled down at her.

She looked up to him, "will he?"...she stopped and shook her head, "...I mean will you?"

He gave her a smug lopsided smile, "You bet your life I will".

Her smile widened, "But how about me then?"

He frowned, "what do you mean?"

"How can I ask and seek for your company? How can one seek the company of the head of the Lonely Mountain? You are rarely alone…"

He pursed his lips, "I have always been available to you Eilin. Even prior to things turning this...physical between us, or am I mistaken?"

She remained thoughtfully silent for a few moments and then frowned, "shit, you're right...". Only then she realised how truthful that statement was, or how much of a dead giveaway it should have been for a while now. Master Fain was never freely available to her. Actually she had no access to him, unless he needed her services and he stood much lower in rank than the man she held in her arms. When she arrived in Erebor, the lines of what was appropriate or not were so confusing under the immediate danger for his life, that they were crossed many times over by her, with no consequences from him. No scolding, no orders for her to keep her distance, no hard feelings. Actually the King abided by her insistence to always be around and check on him with a patience and a kind smile than only now under this new light she could justify. She should have realised much sooner that things had been anything but typical between them after a certain point.

"Only just now realising?" he snorted at her reaction.

She nodded quickly and held him tightly, "I will sound terribly stupid by admitting to it...but yes".

He exhaled on her curls and looked at the soft snowfall, "You will be able to see me whenever you feel like it, unless I am in some official business about the city, in which case I will seek you the moment I become free. Alright?"

She pressed her lips and smiled, "Alright!"

He cupped her jawline and his thumb nudged her chin up. Then he gave her a soft reassuring kiss, "Don't rush head-first into fears that are unfounded".

She snuggled comfortably in his arms and smiled "I am sorry I spoke to you this way after killing that boar. I was scared out of my wits. My behaviour was totally unacceptable", she wanted to sound regretful, but having him around her that way made her sound blissfully relieved. In all honesty she didn't care one bit that the man she had been groping so shamelessly was the King of Erebor or that she had yelled blue murder at his face without any consideration for his legacy.

"On the contrary I am glad you did", his long fingers buried through her hair on the temple and pushed them back away from her cheek.

"How come?"

"Because that led to your kiss, which I desired more than an endless vein of Mithril," he replied quietly.

She opened her mouth to speak, but only an ugly croak came up, and a single tear slid on her cheek.

"Now you are ready to tell me to stop talking to you like this..." he deducted with a lively smile and kissed her tear away.

"No, please don't stop! Continue making a stuttering idiot out of me...I love it!" She admitted with such honest that he laughed as she caressed his long hair.

"Also you saved me, remember? Now I owe you my life. You can talk to me anyway you like," he smirked.

"I did save you, didn't I?" She asked herself, feeling several waves of apprehension running through her as she remembered those terrifying moments when her aim was at the boar's neck and Thorin's life in her hands, "How could you have trusted me like that?" she whispered darkly.

He smiled down at her and flicked one shoulder, "It was actually very easy".

"At least now I am convinced I am not the only one that acts stupidly at times. You are prone to that malfunction also...", she shook her head, still in disbelief of how easy it was for him to lay his life into her incompetent hands.

"Hush your silliness and listen. You acted like a true dwarven warrior and you deserve your first warrior braid, I believe", he spoke softly and kissed her forehead.

She looked up at him mesmerised, "I do?"

"Yes, my beautiful lady…in fact I should be the one to make it for you, since I am alive today because of your brave act", he smiled and pulled back enough to allow her wobbly legs to step on solid ground. She didn't trust herself to be steady enough and she grabbed hold of his forearm. He turned her head a little to the side in order to gather a long thick piece of hair and smiled down to her, "this wild hair of yours is as much part of your beauty, as it is part of your untamed nature".

"You hate that?" she smiled up at him contently.

He shook his head, "no, I love it".

She closed her eyes and exhaled comforted beyond words, "I've never felt so much tenderness".

"On one hand I am sorry I am the first one to give it to you, on the other I am proud you chose to bestow that freedom to me, for I am certain there were many that tried", he said and she was instantly taken in by the breathtaking beauty of his azure eyes as he was concentrating on her braid.

She blushed down to her toes and her fingers curled possessively around one of his long braids and pulled him closer.

"I should have been the last in a line of many that you had denied", he explained.

"Stop talking to me like that…", she whispered and her smile was openly flirtatious. She was enjoying immensely her shameless need to tease him, "…or rather never stop talking to me like that".

He huffed and reached behind her head to release one of her small wooden beads, "very decisive". He placed it at the end of her warrior braid and looked at her proudly, "there, that's almost as perfect as you".

She grabbed his fur lapels and pulled herself up to him. Then wordlessly she kissed him as gently as she could, remembering vividly how smoothly he used his tongue and lips on her mouth. Making him close his eyes and hold her by her waist gently, until she pulled back, "was that better?" Her eyes were gleaming.

He sighed deeply, "Oh yes…even though I wouldn't say no to a bit more practice".

"You are offering yourself as my tutor?"

He frowned and cupped the back of her head, his fingers softly slithering through her hair, "I demand to be the only tutor in this particular lesson", his voice held a tone of steel that made the hair stand up in attention.

"No question about that", she whispered and then leaned in for another kiss. When she pulled back he still had his eyes closed and she admired his handsome countenance almost in disbelief of what had actually happened, "I kissed Thorin Oakenshield," she whispered, trying to make herself believe the improbability of what had just happened.

He opened his eyes and drew her in from the back of her neck, "No you've got it all wrong," she frowned as he pecked her softy once, "You kissed a poor sword-smith…who was totally taken in by you since the first moment he saw you".

She felt her heart singing back at him, even though he never heard it's song. She wrapped her arms around his neck, buried her nose under his chin and inhaled deeply. Trying to lock his scent securely inside her mind. They remained like that until it was too cold and too dark to stay still anymore. Then he led her to the horses and brought back the boar on his own, surprising her even more when he lifted it up to her horse unassisted. He tied it down securely and climbed up on his steed. When he offered her his hand to her, his precious smile warmed her heart and she climbed in front of him.

They rode back to Erebor with him embracing her warmly and with her fingers digging crookedly onto his forearm shields, afraid to let him go. Even though she was still somewhere between cloud eight and nine, with each gallop of the proud horse she felt her stomach dropping an inch closer to the ground. He may have laid her worries to rest about returning back to reality, but she knew that the complexity of their situation was not a figment of her imagination. They both had to deal with the fact that they were not alone in this world. That they were not bereft of responsibilities and -alas- from the history that burdened him especially. No matter how much she wanted to pray for Vala Aulë to make the rest of the world disappear and keep only them inside, she had to deal with reality...and she was terrified of how she would be able to do such a thing, even though his words had reassured her that she was far from being alone in this endeavour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Happy Easter (to those of you that fall in that category). The next few days are very family oriented in my country and I will be away until Monday or Tuesday, when I will most certainly have a new update *.*  
> -My stories are mature and contain lemons. If you feel them inappropriate for this story let me know and I will try to mould it up differently.


	22. A touch of darkness, dwindles the flame

He led their horses through the frozen forest in a spirited trot and they remained silently embraced with her becoming more and more fearful of what was to come when they arrived and him becoming more and more silently thoughtful. She didn't want to go back and pretend that nothing had happened between them in front of everyone, but she also knew that they couldn't stay away forever. When finally they turned upon the highway that led straight to Erebor she felt their horse slowing down and was forced to open up her eyes.

That is when her breath caught and her fingers dug into his forearm shields nervously. Hundreds if not thousands of dwarven families on foot and on carriages. Men, women and children of all ages were progressing towards the half build gates of Erebor at the left side of the road, while the right was occupied by a long line of soldiers that were marching with their banners held up high and their torches blazing in the dead of night. They were singing military tunes, trying to encourage the refugees that walked next to them, following the River Running to their final destination.

"What is all this?" She muttered feeling overwhelmed and searched for his hand.

Their fingers stippled and he squeezed her gently, "The ones on the right are divisions from Vigdis Folk and Var's folk judging from their banners. They must be at least a thousand", his voice was calm.

"What about the families?" She turned to the other side.

"We ask, it's the only way to find out". He put the horse at a trot until they reached the end of the line and then he spoke, "Where are you coming from?"

A middle aged dwarf with a long grey beard and clever eyes turned. He leaned on his staff and smiled "We are Thulin's Folk, coming down from the North. Several hidden small cities between Gundabad and Ered Mithrin got hurriedly evacuated when we got word that the Mountain King returned. I think though that further up the line you will find several families of Sindri's Folk from the central ranges of Middle Earth. They are coming from Eregion up to the Ettenmoors. Also Úri's Folk are coming up behind us that reside in the small mountain ranges between Gondor and Orodruin in North Ithilien. The first ones that joined our progression say that darkness is spreading south of Erebor behind Ered Lithui".

"The Ash Mountains…" Thorin whispered and his brow creased.

"Aye, there are too many orcs taking shelter behind them", the man nodded.

"Thank you," Thorin said.

"My Lord", the man bowed.

"Maybe I should alight. They mustn't see us in this manner", she turned her head and whispered above her shoulder.

His thumb caressed the back of her hand, "Not you my beauty", he gave her the reigns and got off his horse.

She stopped it and looked at him in disbelief, "what you are doing is unheard off", she leaned and whispered.

His hand cupped her knee and stroked it gently, "No woman walks next to me while I ride. Now lead it to the entrance and I will join you soon".

She shook her head abhorred and cupped his hand, "No".

"Listen to me and don't over react. Heed my request and lead the horse to the entrance. Standing here talking to each other like this raises even more questions", he said carefully.

She looked up thoughtfully for a couple of moments, "wait, I've got an idea". She alighted and gave him the reigns, "hold them for me".

His brow raised in silent scrutiny as she walked briskly to a rather threadbare looking old woman that was barely able to walk with the help of her stick. She leaned over and stopped her. Then she pointed back at him. His heart smiled at her selfless act and he leaned his elbow on the horse's shoulder patiently. The old woman walked back with the help of Eilin.

"My Lord, this is Ulla. She will appreciate any help we can give her, as she is very tired from travelling long on foot", Eilin said with sweet smile, holding the woman's hand gently.

Ulla bowed slightly and her eyes filled with tears, "This is not a mere lord, he is the Mountain King", she said calmly and Eilin smiled brightly.

"Come give me your hand," Thorin shook his head at Eilin and helped the old woman up.

Her rough aged hand cupped his. She drew it to her lips and kissed it emotionally, "I never thought I'd live to see the Longbeards ruling Erebor again. I am coming from the Brown lands, in north Ithilien. Things are not good there Sir", her voice dropped.

"I've heard rumours", he said quietly.

"Orcs are roaming the beautiful green forests destroying everything in their path. Whenever our people drove them away they ran behind Oronduin, climbing those steep rocks like spiders. There are also several small cities in the ranges of South Ithilien that are getting ready to evacuate my King", she said.

"We'll be ready to take them in, now hold onto the breastplate", he said and looked at Eilin that took the reigns and led the horse.

"These people have suffered greatly".

"My people have suffered the same fate Eilin. I've seen it all before", he mused and his brows darkened as he came up next to her, "It wasn't much different when we evacuated Erebor to get away from Smaug. Lines upon lines of families, people of every age, holding the few belongings they have managed to take at the last moment, like treasure. Roaming the wilderness for weeks, months...years. Their homes were taken forcibly away from them, their lives destroyed. It's the same thing all over again. It never stops".

"You've been through hell...", she gave him a forlorn look.

He smiled, "Haven't we all?"

She nodded, "I've never had to evacuate..."

"Didn't you abandon your home to roam the Dunlands for months alone?"

"Yes"

"Then you've been through it. You left for a better life, these people did too. The only difference is that Durin's folk didn't leave to find their paradise. They lived in one and it was violently taken away from them", he winced.

"That's so awful..." she whispered.

"It is, but now there is hope, isn't there?" his smile was nostalgic.

She wanted to caress his cheek, but she had to settle for the most endearing smile she could produce, "with you here, yes".

He lowered his eyes, but his smile was dazzling. That is when the fast galloping of a magnificent war ram made them both look up. "Captain Vón at your service Sir!" the man bowed his head proudly. "I got word that the Mountain King was behind us on foot. May I offer my animal to you?"

"Are you a Stonefoot or a Blacklock?" Thorin smiled.

"Proud Stonefoot my liege and here to serve you! The Lords of our families are already in Erebor awaiting for you!" The man said and alighted.

"How many strong are in this division?" Thorin looked at the long line.

"One thousand, two hundred my King. They await your inspection!" He presented the reigns to Thorin.

He turned to Eilin, "Can you handle the grandma and the boar?" He said in a low tone.

"Sure, go", she waved him away.

"Maybe we can offer the Lady a ram also", the man looked up briefly from his kneeled position.

Eilin's mouth dropped open at the way she was being addressed, "No, no, no, I am fine Sir, I assure you", she hurried.

"Very well, my Lady", The man bowed his head again.

She looked flabbergasted at Thorin who shook his head gently letting her know that she should play along and his words endorsed that even further, "Offer this lady an escort back to the gates", he ordered nobly. She didn't know which stone to lift and hide herself under. Then he pulled himself up on the ram and tilted his head respectfully towards her, before riding away quickly and leaving her behind completely stunned.

-.-

When he reached the half build gates he saw everyone there. He had been expecting Erebor to be dark and settled for the night as he was returning with Eilin and that was mainly the reason he had delayed their arrival. Never had he been expecting to find envoys from the Blacklocks and the Stonefoots, alongside a huge line of refugees that were probably led there by Fili. Thorin's eyes fell on him as he was standing in front of the gates tall and proud next to his uncle Dain.

"Good evening my huge bastard!" Dain raised his hands and came out to greet him.

Thorin alighted and found himself locked into Dain's strong hold, "That can be interpreted in many ways".

"You are all of them", Dain laughed and jerked him hard.

"Glad you have returned unharmed", he reciprocated and then turned at Fili that took his turn to an equally honest and strong embrace, "Are you alright my son?" He whispered unable to hide his emotions and drew Fili's forehead upon his.

"Uncle I am well! We've found so many people making it for Erebor, just look at them", he said and pointed behind.

"I've talked to them. Orc problems from the Ash Mountains?" he looked at both Fili and Dain.

Dain nodded and crossed his arms, "Far bigger populations down there than Gundabad, Forodwaith and Ered Mithrin combined. They are trying to take hold of both the North and the South".

"I know", Thorin's face turned darkly grim, as he saw the words of Gandalf already coming true.

Balin walked decisively up to them, with the clear intention of interrupting them, "Where in the name of Vala Aule have you been! The envoys are inside waiting for you! They have arrived with an army of thousands to reinforce the city!"

Thorin frowned, "Do you think I am blind? I just inspected the divisions".

"Where have you been?!" Balin crossed his arms.

Thorin pressed his lips, "At the training grounds".

Balin turned to his brother, "You told me you didn't see him!"

Thorin's gaze fell on Dwalin imperative and an intense wave of apprehension gripped his stomach.

Dwalin offered him a vacant look before turning to his brother, "He wasn't there, when I went".

Thorin's jawline tightened and he kept his meaningful stare on his friend, who averted his eyes.

"Very well, forget it. We need to talk, come", Balin took him by the arm and almost dragged him inside.

"Wait a minute," Thorin felt ultimately peeved by the way Balin was trying to handle him.

"No, come, I've been waiting a long time to talk to you, before you see them!" Balin insisted, but Thorin pulled his arm free and Balin almost crashed on him.

"What's gotten into you?"

"The first delegation…", Balin's voice flattered.

"They are here, yes I know. Stop pulling me around!", Thorin frowned.

Balin sighed deeply and closed his eyes, "No it's not that son. Between them is someone whose presence will not please you. I am just trying to anticipate things...for I know they are not going to be pretty".

"What are you talking about?" he cringed totally confused.

Balin inhaled deeply and got ready to speak when Dwalin bypassed him and came face to face with Thorin instead. "I'll tell you, because Balin is taking it the long way round. One of the emissaries will make your heart sink, be prepared. That is what I came over to tell you at the training grounds, but I unfortunately didn't find you", he let that sentence trail off into the air with a knowing gaze.

That was the first moment that Thorin's self-assurance broke to show a small thread of worry, "Is that emissary a Blacklock or a Stonefoot?"

"Blacklock", Dwalin flicked his eyebrows and Thorin's breath hitched slightly, but he didn't have the time to consider anything more as Dwalin's hand tightened around his bicep and he nodded behind Thorin. He turned to see a pristine looking group of people that were coming over to them with bright smiles on their faces. They were escorted by his sister and the two daughters of Fain.

He prepared himself for the worst, but then his eyes fell on Bjarki, one of his older brother-in-arms and one of his best commanders in the Blue Mountains and his countenance softened. His friend advanced in front of everyone else with open arms and Thorin reciprocated eagerly. They grabbed each other's forearms tightly, "How long has it been?" Bjarki asked and his eyes overflowed with tears.

"Too long brother, welcome", Thorin drew him in an embrace that he only reserved for those he loved dearly.

Bjarki tightened his strong arms around him, "Heard you died".

Thorin smiled, "I am probably still dead...".

Bjarki laughed and pulled back. He checked on him without removing his tight grip on Thorin's forearms, "Dead or not you still look good! As handsome and regal as I remember!".

Oda giggled at the side of Dis, "Don't feed his vanity! He's prone to that malfunction. Keep him grounded!"

Thorin looked up and smiled brightly at her, "Alright Oda, I'll feed yours instead. You look breathtaking"

She laughed, disentangled herself from Dis's elbow and ran up to him. She embraced both Thorin and her husband. Then she planted an honest kiss on his cheek, "All joking aside, are you alright? Dis told us that your wound was so serious, they actually brought you back from the dead".

"I am slowly getting there. It was a difficult call", he smirked at her kindly.

"You really did it this time, didn't you? You actually did it!" Bjarki looked around them at the chaotically tall, engraved cavern of the entrance with the golden bell hanging threatening above them, "You got back Erebor!"

Thorin pressed his lips and looked back at his gathered comrades, "Not without substantial help", then he turned at Dain who was smiling a little ways off, "from our people".

Bjarki turned at Dain, "Oh, you mean that old troll-smelling-monkey? His beard has become bigger than him".

Dain approached and his hand clapped Bjarki's shoulder so hard he almost kneeled, "I keep it like that on purpose, you stout-rat-killer, to scare away those elvish sissies..." and then his laughter thundered and many laughed with him.

"And didn't he scare them away indeed? You should have seen how he destroyed every single arrow they send off to his division! It was majestic!" Kili said and twisted the end of his moustache braid, proudly. "Not to mention that his looks and words broke their courage long before arrows flew into the air".

Thorin smiled, truly enjoying this camaraderie between his comrades. He had almost forgotten Balin's dark words about the Blacklock emissary, as he was drawn into the happy back and forth of these men.

"You, friends, have managed the impossible and made all the families proud!" Bjarki said and squeezed the forearms of both Thorin and Dain.

"Much as I hate to admit, it was a joined effort between us, elves and men...", Dain cringed under his thick ginger beard.

"Better united, than divided, now...", he looked back at Thorin proudly, "tell me, where is the Arkenstone? My heart aches to see you sitting under it".

The grounding of the pleasant energy was so palpable that everyone felt it.

"As for that..." Balin coughed and tried to take on his most serious expression, but Thorin forestalled him.

"It is in the possession of the elvish sissies, brother", he said with honesty.

Bjarki frowned, "Why the hell did you allow them to have it?"

"That was not Thorin. His burglar did that. Kind off, double crossed him", Dain buried his thick thumbs on his wide belt and shook his head.

"Burglar?" Bjarki looked at Thorin confused.

"Oh, it's a long story, which will be told over good ale. As for the Arkenstone, trust me enough to know that it will be back above the throne very soon", Thorin smiled reassuringly.

Bjarki smiled and all his envoy did likewise, "Not a doubt that you will deliver, you tall bastard! You got Erebor back! Getting back Arkenstone will be a game for you!"

Thorin smiled "I am so glad you are here, for I have missed you dearly".

"Me too…I haven't seen you ever since you moved from the Blue Mountains", Dwalin chuckled and they exchanged a series of hard slaps on the shoulders that send them a couple of steps back. At least a head sorter from Dwalin and even more from Thorin, Bjarki was very heavily build, he had long blonde hair and a very well groomed beard that was devoid of any braids, but was divided into three parts with thick golden beads of great craftsmanship. His eyes were a gentle grey that didn't befit his intimidating countenance, but betrayed his golden heart.

When his games with Dwalin were over he presented his son, "This is Bjarngrímur my son. Do you remember him?"

Thorin kept one hand locked on Bjarki's forearm, "He was just a toddler when you decided to take your family away to the far east".

"Look at him now!" Bjarki said proudly and Oda smiled and locked elbows with Dis again.

Thorin gave him a scrutinising look that made the boy avert his eyes and then a lopsided smile, "You carry the proud bearing of the Stonefoots my boy. Welcome".

Everyone from the envoy seemed very pleased and several bowed to the compliment of the Mountain King.

The boy fell on one knee, "It's an honour to pledge my axe to you Sir. I am leading my father's army! Five hundred strong!"

Thorin smirked at Bjarki who raised his brow proudly "Impressive, in such sort notice".

"We couldn't gather more than a skeleton army, but the Blacklocks decided to join in with seven hundred more", Bjarki said and looked at the silent Blacklock delegation.

Bjarki's words reminded Thorin of Balin's warning and he turned to see the Blacklock delegation. His eyes passed with a critical frown through each and everyone, trying to understand, but saw nothing...at first. That didn't last long though, as the Lords and Ladies that bowed for him, were pushed aside to reveal an unforgettable face that send cold spears through his heart. Instantly he knew why Balin had seemed so tense and what the mystical words of Dwalin meant exactly. He felt his heart stopping for a mere second before exploding into an impossible pace that made him dizzy.

Bjarki's hand steadied him, "Hey, are you alright?"

Dwalin gave him a worried look and came to his flanks protectively. As for Balin he turned around to hide his tears, and pushed away a bewildered Fili.

"Servin?" He whispered.

The imposing dwarf with the wild silver hair and beard passed between his comrades proudly and came up to him, "Thorin", he said and bowed his head respectfully.

Siv's older brother was standing right there, in front of him, after so long. Like a spectre that had dug it's way from the past, to come haunt him in real life and not in his dreams anymore. His face had grown older and it was filled with deep lines of worry and grief, but the resemblance to his sister was as uncanny as it had been during their youth. He looked down at him, unable to believe his eyes, "You, here? How?" He frowned.

Servin lowered his head, "I am leading the Blacklock army. We are here to offer our pledge to you".

Thorin tried to inhale, but it was impossible as his chest was tight. Servin never knew about his affair with Siv, but he knew that Thorin was a good friend. He knew how much Siv's death had affected the prince. Was that enough to make him suspect that something was running deeper? As far as Thorin was aware, neither Siv nor Cael ever spoke to her brothers. Siv was certain that her brothers would ask for reprimanding if things got out and she didn't want to cause an uproar. She still trusted that Thorin would deliver his promises in the end...then death came. As for him….he never wanted to smudge the honour of Siv and reveal what had taken place between them, behind closed doors. Reprimanding or revenge from her brothers was the last thing he feared, but he wanted to protect her spirit.

"What about Suthar and Svín?" He asked and felt his hands growing cold.

"My brothers both died in battle and my mother died soon after from a broken heart. I am the only one remaining of my family", Servin bowed his head solemnly.

"My deepest condolences", Thorin's voice came out with difficulty.

"I know how much you cared for my sister. I know it was you that found her and brought her to burial and I always wanted..." Servin paused and his eyes met Thorin's bravely, "I always wanted to talk to you after her death".

He felt his eyes tearing up effortlessly and he didn't try to kill the feeling, "I cannot find words good enough…", he didn't know how to continue. What could he tell this man? That he couldn't find words good enough to explain how much her death had torn him to pieces or that he was the one that caused it, even unwillingly? Or maybe that he had debauched his sister and not restored her honour as he should have. How could he ever be brave enough to admit all these things to this man?

"There is no need for words...for now Thorin. Just accept the pledge of the Blacklocks to the King's gem", Servin said respectfully.

Thorin's lips turned down and his heart emptied in a pool of dark and cold water, "Of course", he whispered knowing that this was far from over between them. There was a thin layer of unanswered questions, that Servin's eyes were already throwing at him silently...and he knew...he knew this has been done on purpose. Servin appearing here, on the height of his glory, to remind him of the past, was no chance meeting. He knew as much as Balin and Dwalin knew...and that is where this darkness ended. For it was only shared between these four men. No one else had picked up that anything was even vaguely wrong in that conversation. Well, maybe only another one suspected that something was askew.

"Are you alright?" Bjarki frowned.

He turned around and nodded feeling dazed, "Yes, yes of course".

Servin bowed and presented the delegation behind him, "It is an honour to be pledge our family to the crown", he said and they all bowed behind him.

"The honour is mine", Thorin reciprocated regaining some of his composure and loftiness back. If this was going to be a one-on-one from his nightmarish past, he was going to face it with courage.

"You've gone extremely pale", Oda noticed.

"He needs to rest", Dis engaged his elbow gently, "What happened?" she whispered at him as Servin turned and joined his envoy.

"A little tired gerbil", he smiled reassuringly at her.

Then he turned at both delegations, "My lords and ladies these ancient halls are honoured by your presence. Please allow my people to show you to your rooms and we shall share lunch and company tomorrow. A good chance to catch up with old friends and a good opportunity to get to know new ones", he said with a majestic tilt of his head.

They all smiled and bowed respectfully, but Thorin's eyes lingered a few moments more on Servin who reciprocated.

"Listen lunch tomorrow and all is great for all of them, but not for me! I need to catch up with you and these bastards here, tonight" Bjarki slapped Dwalin's and Dain's shoulders, with a wide smile.

"I think a drink will do all of us a world of good..." Dwalin hissed behind his teeth and gave Thorin a guarded look.

Dis touched his forearm gently and he leaned down to her. She whispered at his ear with great concern, "Do you know how dreadfully pale you look right now? It's like you've seen a ghost. Maybe Oin should check on you…".

"I am fine. Take care of our guests and let me take care of these bastards", he nodded above his shoulder, where Dain, Dwalin, Bjarki and Fili had already engaged in a fiercely cordial conversation. Only Balin was waiting to be noticed patiently with his arms crossed.

"Are you sure?" She frowned.

He pressed her hand reassuringly, "Absolutely".

She offered him a hesitant smile and then she engaged Oda's elbow, "Will you help me with lunch tomorrow?"

Oda laughed, "I wouldn't miss that for the world!"

She looked around her confused, "I will need the help of Eilin. Where the hell is she anyway?"

Thorin looked up quickly at that and Dwalin offered him a warning gaze before returning half of his attention to the dirty jokes of his comrades.

It was Balin's voice that came to his undoing, "Isn't that she?"

Thorin looked as Eilin stopped by the gates, holding his horse by the bridle and then helped the old woman down.

"Pray tell me laddie, why the hell is Eilin leading your horse and why is there a pony bearing a dead boar on it….and why the hell does she have a warrior braid?" Balin frowned confused and looked up at Thorin whose countenance closed up tight.

"What do you want answered first, Balin?" he crossed his arms clearly annoyed.

"Anything would do…" his advisor raised his brow.

Dis though seemed much less affected by the sudden appearance of her maiden leading her brother's horse. She raised her arm and went to her quickly, "Eilin, I need you!" She said and the girl immediately turned. Thorin observed them as they talked rather animated for several seconds before Eilin nodded in accordance. Then she abandoned Thorin's horse and followed Dis back to them.

"Now you will take care of the meat and I along with Valdis, Karunn and Oda will decide how to set up the tables. For now you will help me lead the emissaries to their respective rooms", he heard Dis telling Eilin with authority.

Their eyes crossed for a few blessed moments and he felt his heart melting. Servin's sudden appearance that managed to freeze his soul, slowly dissipated under the warmth of her soft green eyes. His heart took it upon herself to hand-draw a small hairpin at the side of his mouth without him even realising, which she reciprocated quickly before drawing her eyes respectfully away from him. Then Balin's voice drew his attention back to the inevitable.

"Well?"

"Well what?" He rubbed his temples returning from vaguely entranced to deeply annoyed within fractions of a second.

"Your horse, her braid…the boar?" Balin flayed his arms around.

"May I remind you, that I am not required to answer any of your questions?"

Balin inhaled deeply and raised his brow, "To me you are not...".

"To anyone..."

"These delegations are here to pledge their arms to the Mountain King, and you my boy have a lot of people to answer to", Balin's eyes thinned.

"I will answer, if and when I see it fit. Now allow me to see my friends", he said haughtily.

Balin sighed deeply, "Very well".

Thorin turned at Dwalin, "you think Thror's old study will be up for the task?"

Dwalin's lips uplifted in slow understanding, "If Smaug hasn't brought it down, I think it will be perfect".

Thorin nodded to the direction they were to take and Dwalin took the lead. He gave one last wistful look above his shoulder where the slim silhouette of Eilin was following his sister and her ladies of honour and then he followed his friends, without noticing that her presence there had managed to diminish Servin's haunting face with unexpected ease into a faded image that just waited for him in the shadows.

* * *

As for Eilin, to say that she felt absolutely blissful as she led the guests to their rooms would have been a serious understatement. To say that she was dreamily musing over them as they entered and checked on their new abodes like a bloody idiot, would be rather accurate. She had a permanent smile of contentment printed on her lips and a stomach that still felt as if there was a tight coil twisted around its pit, eating her up, to find a way to unwind it. His furious and firm kisses wreathed that delicious tension in her body and she longed for him to kiss her again….and why not, let him find a way to unwind that damned coil.

Rhiannon her best friend at the tavern, told her stories about men that had wounded up similar coils in the bottom of her stomach too. If Rhiannon was here now, she'd tell Eilin, "you are obviously aroused you bloody fool, by what he has done to you! Now go after him to finish it!" .

Eilin felt the blood mounting on her cheeks and bit her lower lip feeling deeply embarrassed. She knew very well that her body had reacted naturally at Thorin's teases, but she didn't have any experience with men apart from her rape. For Rhiannon it was much easier to pursue her pleasure. She was a woman paid for her body, even though that didn't equal pleasure. It was a job as Rhiannon coldly told her many times over. That someone had to do the dirty deed, so that all these frustrated men didn't take out their violence on innocent women...Eilin's face fell...like they had done to her. So for Rhiannon, there was no pleasure involved...usually...but...she insisted that once in a blue moon, a client, did manage to wreathe the same tension in her body and when she let herself go with the flow, it felt like heaven. Back, during those bleak days, Eilin's mind was unable to grasp Rhiannon's words...but now...

...Now when she kissed him, the sensations became a conflagration that consumed her and she didn't know were one thing ended and others began. The small spark her silly little kisses ignited was a mere nothing to the fire that began burning her from the inside out when he took over. He obviously knew how to use his body to speak to hers and she couldn't help but wonder where he had learned all these tricks. His hands caressed places she thought were quite innocent but nevertheless created a blazing heat at her core that was still eating her up to this moment. She remembered with a trembling gasp how his thigh send the first waves of molten lava trickling down inside, when it got buried between her legs. Only now after being kissed so thoroughly was she able to grasp an idea of what Rhiannon had been talking about years before and it felt amazing and terrifying in it's capacity to consume her every single logical thread.

The nasty reminder of the pain and ridicule she had felt during her only intimate encounter with men, tried to invade her dreamy mind and she frowned at it annoyed. Why did her mind want to taint this otherworldly experience of bliss with something so nasty and dark once again? Why couldn't she let go just for once? She didn't want to remember how these subhumans pushed her against that cold wall and crashed her cheek on the sharp stones. She didn't want to revisit her body's desperate tries to keep out the intruders or how painful and bloody that intrusion had been. She had felt nothing beautiful then….just excruciating friction and blood trickling down her thighs as her body was quaking from her sobbing pleads to be left alone. Which happened….in the end she was left alone, heavily bleeding on the floor of the common room, with all her clothes torn and her body still shaking heavily from the shock. Her hands and feet were cold and her heart had fled her terrified body into other worlds, that felt safer.

For as long she sat helpless in her pooling blood, she imagined that she was in the house of her real mother and father. That they were married and they lived in a small valley that was full of green grass sprinkled here and there with rose bushes. That she was swinging from a tree and that the spring breeze was blowing away her long red hair from her carefree face. Their faces when they appeared at the door of the cottage though were dark as they had always been in her dreams. Dark and featureless. Only their outlines were clear, but as always that was a mere dream just to help her escape reality.

Rhiannon had found her and helped her clean up and heal. She tried to offer her comfort and assured her that in their profession they had been forced many times, that she would eventually forget, but she didn't. Instead she kept away from any man that approached her even in a friendly manner and tried to stop herself from fainting every time she felt in danger, real or imaginary…..all that until now. When in the blink of an eye not only did she want this man to approach her, but to also touch her again the way he did and kiss her again…and maybe never stop kissing her.

Colour mounted her cheeks once again and she caressed her long neck, feeling like her mind was throwing her from cold to warm and from bliss to terror just to mess with her. The voice of lady Valdis was what brought her back to reality. "I think we should go and rest my Lady, it's been a long day".

"Yes my dear, take your sister and go. As for you Eilin," Dis looked at her thoughtfully.

"My Lady at your orders", she said but her voice was rough and she coughed in order to clear it.

"Bring me and Oda dinner in my rooms and then check on my brother. If everything is alright rest well. I will need you up first thing in the morrow to clean the meat and the vegetables. Cooking is on you, choose whatever pleases you", Dis smiled tiredly.

"Of course my Lady". Eilin bowed and left them with a slow thoughtful walk that was soon riddled with the dreamy memories of her last moments in the forest with Thorin-again. She went down at the kitchens always overtaken by the same slow and musing pace, with the smile never leaving her lips. She chose a good ale bottle from the counters, that were now overflowing with food and beverages and made her way back to her mistress. When she entered, Dis and her friend were down to their undergarments cross-legged in front of the fire talking cordially. Eilin served them a cup each and placed the wine next to them. Dis thanked and dismissed her, but before closing their door Eilin took a yearning look, knowing that she would never share such a beautiful friendship with another woman apart from Rhiannon, whom she had abandoned at the tavern when she run away without knowing what her future had in store for her.

Life had thrown into her face all the improbabilities of Middle Earth combined. She went from being a servant in a tavern who slept amongst whores, to the first maiden of the Longbeards and was now the main point of interest of the legendary Thorin Oakenshield. To be fair though, he was more than her main point of interest also. He was occupying her mind constantly making a stuttering fool out of it. She wondered vaguely what Rhiannon would have said, if she knew what had happened to Eilin after she ran away.

"She wouldn't believe me", she muttered as she searched to find King Thror's study, which was hiding behind a very unsuspecting door at the right corridor of the throne room. As she passed from the throne she mused truly impressed at the broken column that connected with the mountain itself above and she saw the empty space of the King's gem, the Arkenstone. It seemed abandoned and poorly taken care off, but nothing in this city was properly maintained for centuries. She was sure that once restored to its original glory it would shine brighter than the sun.

Her face fell a little at the image of him wearing his raven crown and standing majestically before it, with his brooding eyes scrutinising his court. That thought scared her and made her stomach drop. A step closer to his throne, was a step away from her wasn't it? Well, bullocks...he was the King now and their story was in it's first pages, right? She was just making too much of everything. She shook her head away from these bleak thoughts and knocked on the door. When she entered, the warm feeling of camaraderie made her heart smile. They were sitting around the hearth, smoking old-Toby. The only one who acknowledged her was Dwalin and she tried not to feel cheated, by reminding herself that the man who kissed her, now needed to act like the King.

Taking courage in that thought she served them and brought over their cups when Dwalin asked her. The moment she offered Thorin one, his fingers grazed the back of her hand slightly when he took it. A small gesture but enough to give her the warm recognition she longed for. Her heart climbed up to her throat happy that he was still there, under the brooding lofty lord that had his solemn attention at one of his interlocutors. She exhaled feeling a ton of weight leaving her shoulders and when she was informed she wouldn't be needed for anything else she made it for her rooms, content to take a bath in the hot springs and sleep till the morrow. She was satisfied and happy beyond words, certain that she would sleep this night like a log.

With such an upbeat mood she took a fresh pack of clothes and locked her door ready to make it to the springs when suddenly she was pushed over to the wall on the other side of the corridor with such ferocity that all her clean clothes fell to the dusty floor. A rather small boot stepped over them making sure to twist them into the ground for good measure and then a small but strong hand wrapped around her throat. She gasped and looked up at Karunn's blazing eyes.

"Well hello there…you little bitch", she spat at her face.

Eilin tried to inhale, but Karunn's fingers didn't allow her the luxury as they tightened around her more, "Don't you dare scream or I will kill you on the spot", she said and presented her with a pair of very pointy looking scissors.

"I won't", Eilin's terrified eyes looked at the weapon.

Karunn smiled at her smugly, "I knew I'd get you here, getting ready for a bath. As if you knew what a bath was before coming to the house of my father!"

Eilin swallowed not knowing what to say. Fear had numbed down all her extremities. She went from being on top of the world to fearing for her life within seconds.

"I suppose you must be very confused as to what is happening, aren't you?" Karunn lowered her eyes and looked at her neck.

Eilin moaned softly and nodded.

"I am here to set things straight with you once and for all", the scissors caressed the side of her face and Eilin closed her eyes petrified.

"That slow-brained dwarf that's been salivating around you warned me not to order you around, remember?"

Eilin nodded fiercely.

Karunn laughed, "What an idiot…he thought he could control me. I know what a manipulative little trump you are! Don't you think I know you've slept alongside whores in that sleazy tavern you were working? Do you think I am as gullible as all these men that treat you like a lady?"

Eilin shook her head and felt tears running down her eyes, "I was never a whore…" she tried.

"Shut up!" The scissors pressed on her cheek and trapped her breath.

"That dwarf wants to bed you, that's why he is so defensive of you, and I couldn't care less what you and him do behind closed doors. He can fuck the life out of you and I wouldn't mind, but seeing you intermingling with the bright future of my sister….oh, that will not be tolerated!"

A shadow of doubt and confusion rippled through Eilin's brows, "what?"

"You aim much higher than Bofur don't you, you little whore?"

Eilin licked her lips and felt her breath catching.

"You aim for the one that stands above them all…and you think you've got him trapped into your dirty tentacles already, don't you? You know whom I am talking about….the King…" Karunn hissed.

Eilin paled.

Karunn smiled, "you cannot even hide the truth from your slutty hairless face. You were sleeping amongst the shit of my horses and now you are mooching around the King of fucking Erebor! Have you no shame?" Her voice dropped and her hand left Eilin's throat and caught tight hold of her hair, pulling her head back.

Eilin cried and tried to grab those hands, but the scissors pressing on her cheek stopped her once more.

"I saw what happened at the archery lesson….you think you've got him well and good, don't you? You think you can bed him easily, don't you?" Karunn spat and pulled her hair.

Eilin started sobbing, "no, please…"

"Shut up! My sister is the one who is supposed to be getting closer to the King, not you, little filthy whore! You are getting in the middle and I will not allow that. I will not allow you to bed him just in order to transform from a dirty little coal into a processed diamond!" Karunn spat, "I don't care whose sigil you are wearing, I am going to destroy you before you stand in the way of my sister".

Eilin's lips tightened and she felt fear clashing with anger at all those accusations hurled into her face, "Your sister's way, or yours?"

The tightening on her hair and the blaze in Karunn's eyes betrayed the partial truth, "Me or her….it's none of your business. You deserve to return to that sleazy tavern as a whore. If you don't pull away from the King I will make sure everyone learns the truth about you, and above all him. You will be thrown out of here and back into that dump quicker than you can say my name...and don't dare doubt me, for I will deliver!"

Eilin closed her eyes trembling.

"Who do you think you are? A real dwarven lady? Wearing royal sigils and having people calling you -my lady- left and right? Did all this prove too much for your idiotic brain and you think you are someone special just because the King offered you some petty attention?" Karunn hissed.

"If you thought it was so petty why are you threatening my life right now?" Eilin's voice came out wavering.

The hand twisted around her hair and Eilin cried in pain, "Because everyone can make mistakes. Even Kings…" she left that trail in the air for several moments before pulling back so sharply that Eilin jerked back terrified.

"A warrior braid…you even had the audacity to make a warrior's braid. Have you any idea what a brave feat one has to accomplish to make this?" Karunn lifted her braid dismissively, "despicable" she spat and then quickly before Eilin had a chance to react the scissors were on her cutting the braid from the roots.

Eilin grabbed the stump that was left behind and cried in anguish. It felt as if someone tore her heart clean off her chest. She kneeled down a defeated and sobbing mess, "no…" she murmured.

Karunn held her braid pleased and smirked down at her, "your are not worthy of this, you bloody slut".

Eilin cupped her mouth and tried to stop her sobs.

"Keep away from him or I will make sure he learns what a true whore you really are", Karunn's voice fell and her boot gave a strong kick to her knee.

Eilin lowered her face into her hands and wailed, not caring who was listening to her.

Karunn's footsteps were quick and echoed for long into the silent corridors. Only when silence was all around her did Eilin dare to draw her hands away from her face and still she was unable to stop crying. Whenever her tears seemed to dry out her hand reached up to her cut braid and they started again, stronger than before. She didn't want to stand up and pick up her dirty clothes. She had been treated like shit all her life, but this-here was more than just a simple reminder of her low rank or that she was a bastard, or that she had slept among whores.

Tonight, Karunn's cold hearted hands reminded her that no matter how much she tried to convince herself that things were going to change….they were not. Someone was always going to be there to remind her that was born into the gutter and to it she must return. Feeling defeated and bitter, when a few hours earlier she had been on top of the world, she remained there until her tears dried out, but even then she didn't try to stand up. She leaned back to the wall and buried her face to her knees, intending to sleep there, or maybe become a statue until someone could find her and drop her out of Erebor once and for all. Even though the tenderness that Thorin had shown her and the respect everyone else did, outweighed Karunn's humiliation, at that moment she couldn't feel it. She remained there for a long time, dozing in and out of sleep when a pair of gentle hands touched her shoulders.

"What are you doing here?"

Eilin opened up her red eyes and looked at Tauriel. The elf was smiling kindly down at her.

"Are you hurt?" Tauriel asked.

Eilin shook her head.

"You want help to get up?"

Another negation.

Tauriel's hand picked up some hair that had fallen off her cut braid and twisted them thoughtfully around her fingers for a few silent moments. "You know I have some lovely tea leafs in my bag, but I don't enjoy drinking alone", she let the thought linger.

Eilin huffed and shook her head, "I'd rather not, thank you", her throat felt abused.

Tauriel sat down cross legged next to her, "You know, hair can grow back up".

"Dignities cannot", Eilin retorted heavily.

"My father used to say that you must have something special in you to be come a target".

"What's special about me? The fact that I don't know who my father or mother is? That I don't look like a dwarf, an elf or a human, but a weird mixture of the three? That I slept amongst whores all my life in the best of cases or animal shit in the worst? Nothing special about me I assure you", Eilin said defeated.

Tauriel smiled sweetly, "Well, someone has seen the special in you".

Eilin looked up for a scared moment and then her shoulders slouched, "I assure you Bofur is only my friend…."

Tauriel shook her head, "I wasn't talking about him", she said meaningfully.

Eilin looked at her with apprehension.

Tauriel flicked her shoulders, "That scene at the archery training is difficult to forget, but I can try if we share a cup of tea together".

Eilin's petrified eyes never left Tauriel's face, "please don't say anything to anyone…I am exposed enough as it is….I am afraid..." she tittered, her fear spilling alongside her broken words.

"I won't speak, don't worry", Tauriel's smile was kind.

Eilin's eyes flickered and she wiped away her cheeks, "Thank you, it means a lot".

Tauriel's hand clasped hers, "I guess it runs in Kili's bloodline to find beauty outside the norms. I find that so endearing", her eyes filled with tears.

Eilin huffed, "and that will do a world of good to me and him likewise...yeah sure", she felt bitter...too bitter for words.

"You are not willing to see the good in things at this moment, which is excused", Tauriel said quietly.

Eilin wiped away a few stray tears, "I allowed myself to become an easy target once again, that's all".

Tauriel pressed her lips, "You caused jealousy by shining a little too bright. You have people around that truly care for you. Reach out to them. Things are not as dark as you may think".

Eilin felt her lips turning down "You think so?"

Tauriel nodded quietly, "You are a kind and gentle soul that bloomed in very harsh conditions. Do you know how difficult that is? I don't think you comprehend how special you truly are, but I think he does….and I do too".

Eilin looked at her thighs and flicked her shoulders, "You know, on second thought I could use some tea", she said feeling her heart smiling timidly at Tauriel's comforting words.

Tauriel smiled and stood up, "Elves make the best cups of tea. We have our ways around herbs", she offered Eilin her hand.

The girl looked at it thoughtfully for a few moments before grasping it. Tauriel pulled her up with a smile, "Will you keep these?" She showed the few strands of cut hair.

Eilin touched the stub under her earlobe, "no" and then her fingers grazed the rather deep scratch on her cheek. Apparently Karunn's scissors had damaged her more than she had originally felt in the heat of the moment. She would have traded having both cheeks scratched bloody if she could have her warrior braid back though.

"Now smile….you mustn't let the dark side of life make you blind to the bright side of it", Tauriel wised and took her hand.

* * *

 


	23. Flower crowns and dark alcoves

Eilin kneeled to the ground and observed the families that were occupying the frozen shores of River Running this morning. Her misadventure with Karunn had left her rather raw and her dreams had been very disturbed, but the new light of day brought with it hope that not everything was as dark and menacing as she had felt it last night under Karunn's threats. Tauriel's tea and long conversation had calmed her down enough to return to her room and despite her nasty dreams she woke up rather, which today was a blessing as she had more than enough things to do under the orders of the princess.

She got dressed and was out the gates by first light of day, long before the bells of Erebor woke up the rest of the city. Today the masons were trying to lift up a new set of heavy hates, which was a nice change to the collapsed entrance. She gazed briefly at the huge dwarven statues left and right of the entrance and another optimistic smile brightened up her pretty face. When she reached the river she didn't expect to find so many families washing their clothes. Several children, despite the cold, were splashing at the shallow end of the river, proving the dwarven resilience against heat and cold rather impressively to her. Something that she really wanted to try, since she carried this blood in her, at least partly. Their laughter and easy going manner proved that the terror they went through a few days prior was already fading away. Even though it was the beginning of winter up here in the North, this day in particular was so sunny and bright that the thin layer of snow was starting to melt, revealing several winter flowers.

She left her bucket into the water and went to pick up some, when the voice of a young girl made her look up sharply.

"You can weave them".

Eilin looked up to see a pretty young girl with long auburn hair and eyes, that was wearing only her long underthings and was wet from head to toe, seemingly unaffected by the cold air on her skin. She was looking at Eilin's hands with mild interest. She pointed at the flowers once more, "you know…weave them to create a flower crown".

Eilin frowned at them, "Why would I?"

Girl flicked her shoulders, "Don't know".

Eilin's cheeks became crimson red and the heat that radiated from them moved slowly towards her neck, "I've never thought of making one until you mentioned it just now".

The girl smiled and kneeled down next to her, "Do you know how to do it?"

Eilin shook her head, "No".

"The flowers are very delicate, see their stems? They can break very easily, but if you take twigs like this…wait…" she searched around the snow, wiping it away, till she found three medium length twigs that seemed thin enough to twist and turn without breaking, "…you can twist the small flowers around them", she said and took two from Eilin's bouquet.

"But how can you make them stay on?" Eilin frowned.

"You need some thin rope…my mom's got some. Want me to bring it over?" The girl looked at her eager to help.

Eilin felt the need to say no, but the memory of Thorin's soft lips made her exhale in defeat and she smiled instead, "Sure, why not".

"Great!" The girl said and ran off.

Eilin frowned down at the twigs and tried to figure out how the flowers could fit around them without breaking their stems. If she was to make a flower crown, then she would damn well make a perfect job out of it for he deserved nothing less. The thought of giving him such an iconic token of romance was lacing her stomach with nervousness, but their kiss had been much more bold than this simple gesture. If there was a man she could possibly decide to give a flower crown someday, then he was the one. At the end of the day even if she didn't gather up the courage to offer it to him, she could at least settle in the thought that this was the first time she ever wanted to do such a thing. She stayed there letting her half forgotten bucket fill with cold fresh water as she tried to figure out how to make the crown and what leafs to add in order to enhance it when the girl returned with some rope made out of thin fabric. She informed Eilin that her name was Gylta and that her mom had taught her well how to make flower crowns so she could use them on her husband when she grew older.

Eilin understood that this was a skill that moms taught their children from a young age, as she remembered the iconic-by-now ten year old that gave the King a flower crown a few weeks ago. She accepted Gylta's assistance with pleasure and as the time rolled by, she completely forgot Karunn's assault. She twisted each flower separately with great care, aconites, crocus, snowdrops, winter heaths and even a couple of the more rare hellebores. They added leafs in between to cover up the rope and slowly the nasty little scar that adored her cheek this morning and the purple bruise of Karunn's fingers near her collarbone, was nothing more than a fleeting nightmare of the past. She forgot her destroyed braid and decided to let her hair free at the official lunch today and use them to cover up her wound, especially from his eyes. She would go serve them with a smile and go out with one, hoping that she could find a way to approach him during the day. Just to steal a kiss and a hug, or maybe both and even more if he was willing too.

All those beautiful thoughts uplifted her spirits and she left Gylta an hour later, holding the heavy bucket in one hand and the finished flower crown in the other. When she passed under the heavy gates, that were being hauled up, she received a lot of friendly smiles from the workers which she reciprocated, until she fell shoulder first onto Bofur.

"Argh!" He grumbled and turned around.

"Sorry…" she hissed.

He looked at her for a couple of moments and then smiled coyly, "Wow, you are glowing this morning. What happened to you last night?"

His question was innocent enough, but fired up her cheeks and she averted her eyes embarrassed, "Good morning", she hurried.

"Damn if you are going to get so flushed, don't answer the question. I don't want to know!" he said mischievously.

"Okay", she smiled and averted her eyes.

"Is this for me?" He nodded towards the flower crown with a smile.

She cringed heavily, "N-no".

Bofur's shoulders slouched, "Oh, I felt that".

"No, no, you don't understand. This is for no one. A girl gave me the idea down by the river. There are many families taking their bath and washing their clothes by the shore. It is a beautiful morning and she wanted company…well so did I and we ended up with this", she said as nonchalantly as possible.

Bofur smiled brightly, "I see, will you give it to her then, or let it wither? Because these delicate flowers won't last more than a day. Pity to let it go to waste".

Eilin shook her head and smiled, "I think I will keep the flower crown for myself thank you very much! I deserve me a gift".

Bofur pointed at her, "That's a good solution! Where are you off to with this heavy bucket?"

Eilin rolled her eyes, "to the kitchens. I need to prepare for the royal lunch".

Bofur scrounged his nose, "Heard about that one".

"Are you are not invited?" She frowned.

He shook his head, "Only the lords of the army and the delegations are".

"Oh, I am sorry," she lowered her head.

"Don't be! Me and several others are going to have a lovely night of drinking, singing and swimming into the river tonight! You should join us!"

She blushed, "No, I will be half dead by then, but thank you".

He harked, "We will have a nice company. Take your time to think about it".

She opened her mouth to say no, but stopped at the last moment. What if Thorin was also invited and she ruined a perfect chance to see him alone? "So who is going to be there?"

"Me and my brothers, Nori, Dori, Ori -if we manage to convince him to put his diary down for once-, Gloin, Oin, Dwalin who is a dead certain, but I don't think Balin will come. He will want to remain around the delegations. I will try to convince Fili who is too preoccupied lately with Dain and their battalions and of course Thorin who is up to his neck with everything, but always willing to take a break with us. Would have invited the grey wizard and our burglar if it wasn't for the fact that they left under Thorin's orders first thing this morning. They wouldn't tell us where they went", Bofur said.

"So you are certain about the royals joining?" She already felt the traces of excitement at the pit of her stomach.

"I haven't asked Thorin yet, but I think he will have too much in his hands with the delegations. As for Fili, I really don't know. Dain said he was meeting with his commanders tonight, so he's out".

"Will I be the only woman there?"

"No, don't worry. Nori will bring over a couple of ladies he met last night", Bofur reassured her.

She wiped away the perspiration on her brow. Ok, but what if Thorin refused that nightly gathering? She didn't want to go there, if he wasn't going to be.

"Don't overthink…" Bofur challenged her.

"I…uhm…" she muttered.

"Say yes!" He pressed on.

She closed her eyes, "wait for it!"

He drew back and chuckled.

"If everything turns out alright with lunch and my masters don't need me for anything, I will come yes", she said intending to get a hold of Thorin beforehand to make sure that he was going to be there. If he said no, then she was going to find some poor excuse to get out of the obligation.

Bofur smiled contently, "That's perfect"

She nodded, "I need to go prepare now".

"Before you go, how the hell did you manage that on your cheek?" Bofur frowned.

She bit her lower lip and a small vengeful part of her heart wanted to tell him everything that happened with Karunn and let him deal with her as he had done a couple of times before. She couldn't do that though without letting him know the reasons that woman attacked her and that was not something she wanted to reveal to anyone. So she inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, "Cut myself with a knife while I was trying to slash some twigs in order to make this flower crown".

"It doesn't look that fresh", his eyes thinned critically.

She smiled easily, "That's the cold weather. Helps with any kind of bleeding".

He flicked his shoulders, "Fine. Now if you decide to come, you will see our fires burning next to the River Running a couple of miles south on the left side of the bank. Pretty close to where we have been last time. Remember?"

She turned her back at him and raised her hand, "Sure do".

Bofur bit his lower lip happily and ran off to inform his brothers that Eilin was probably going to join them tonight. She continued her trip down to the kitchens where she spent most of her morning and noon preparing lunch, till it was time to bathe and change into official clothes in order to serve the delegation in the royal dining chamber close to the throne room.

* * *

Lunch had been a slow, torturous business. Thorin had to use all his patience to sit nobly through it and look like he was enjoying himself, a quality that had been instilled to him by Thrain since childhood. So he sat there surrounded by his court, enjoying only a small part of the company that included his friend Bjarki, Dwalin, Dain, Balin and Fili. While he had to join the boring conversations of the remaining envoys, he counted the minutes backwards to the end of this charade. He spoke kindly and answered all the questions of the people that had come to meet the Mountain King and not Thorin. The only one apart from his close company that truly drew and kept his attention without any effort was Servin.

Something that Dwalin noticed after a while, and leaned over to him, "You think he came to cause trouble?"

Thorin averted his eyes from Siv's brother, "I don't know about trouble, but I believe he came in search for answers".

Dwalin leaned back and crossed his arms.

"Why appear now, when all these years we haven't tried to see or talk to each other?" Thorin shook his head.

"Maybe because you have called all the families to Erebor and her family was quite prominent in the Blacklocks? Her brother was always a fierce warrior. It was almost inevitable that at some point he would become a commander. Rest of the pieces just fall into place", Dwalin reasoned.

Thorin's piercing eyes fell onto Servin's face again and his voice was deep, "No, this was not by chance".

"You are overthinking", Dwalin dismissed him and took a sip of his mead.

To which Thorin replied by huffing, "That's my job".

That is when Eilin came into the room with a big serving tray and his eyes rested almost gratefully on her. He admired her long red mane that was resting above her right shoulder, covering part of her face and followed her to the royal table, where she served his sister. Whenever she entered the room his whole face brightened up. She was the only woman in there that didn't have intricate braids or clothes. The only one with a clear, unpainted face and the only one he couldn't stop looking at. Her beautiful unprocessed face and attitude, were a safe haven for his troubled mind.

Every-time the door opened up, he looked up searchingly. If it wasn't her, his face fell and he leaned close to Dwalin and Bjarki holding his pipe for another interesting story from the Stonefoot stronghold. If it was her, his eyes lingered on her beautiful face way longer than was appropriate, feeling that he couldn't get enough of her. The need to talk to her as the time progressed became almost unbearable and as the plates were taken away from them and everyone split into small groups he felt the itch to go find her driving him mad. Especially since she was not coming in anymore to serve them.

The minstrels sang great ballads of bravery and the musicians offered the people a chance to dance, but he did neither. He laid back into his chair close to the huge hearth that held a comfortable fire under it and crossed his arms patiently, partly enjoying the dance and the merriment of the people around him, partly wanting to get out of there and find her. Dwalin was gossiping about how Valdis was trying to catch his eye all the time. He joked about Thorin escorting her for a dance and maybe finally giving her a hair bead just to keep Dain happy. Bjarki was laughing heartily at these jokes, but Thorin was turning sour and brooding instead.

At one point all thoughts about Eilin got wiped away from his mind temporarily, when he saw Dongar escorting his sister on the dance floor and his eyes darkened upon them for the whole duration of the dance. His mouth sucked in the old Toby like no tomorrow. When he wasn't inhaling weed, he was drinking wine, so when Valdis finally took up the courage to ask him for a dance, he denied much more bluntly than he had ever intended, "Choose someone else, madame".

She drew back surprised and looked dreadfully offended, but Dwalin took over and tried to gloss over his bad manners.

"Forgive him. He is mildly intoxicated, but truth is he never dances".

Bjarki joined in, "I've never seen him dance, that's true. I'll dance with you instead madame, unless you fear the wrath of my wife!"

His timely intervention made Valdis's offended countenance loosen up a little and she quickly accept his offer for a dance. Bjarki led Valdis to the dance floor and Thorin laid back quietly until finally Eilin opened up the door and brought in a large basket of fruits along with two other maids that followed her. His eyes burned through her as she place them on the table and when she closed the door behind her he exhaled a long trapped wavering breath.

"You need to tone it down a bit", Dwalin said quietly.

Thorin's fiery gaze turned to him, but he remained silent.

"I saw you at the training ground", Dwalin flicked his shoulder with a playful smile.

Thorin raised his brow and took a sip of mead, "figured as much", he whispered.

Dwalin pursed his lips.

"Thank you for keeping Balin out of it", he said in an afterthought.

"He suspects though and he isn't the only one. Rumours have been going back and forth all over the city. What you did at the archery lesson didn't go unnoticed and they have seen her wear your coat and ran after you on several occasions. Come to think about it, you both need to tone it down a bit, unless you want a scandal so close to you taking over Erebor's throne". Balin's words were heavy, but honest.

"I don't care about rumours", he hissed.

"Yet, you feed them. People will talk about the King bedding his maiden and that is innapropriate", Dwalin crossed his arms.

"You sound bitterly disapproving and you know how much I care about your opinion", he said quietly.

Dwalin looked at him long and hard before speaking again, "I would never stand in you way Thorin. Not after the day we found Siv dead, but my job is to protect you. Do what you wish, but be careful. Balances are very thin at the moment. You are exposing yourself, but also the girl and she is far more susceptible to harm. She hasn't got a heavy bloodline to protect her. She might become a target".

Thorin paled and his brow clouded, "I know".

"Then take care how you act in front of people".

Thorin lowered his head thoughtfully at his cup.

After a long moment Dwalin shifted next to him, "She really had you flushed up against that tree, didn't she?" He said all of a sudden.

The wine took a wrong turn and Thorin coughed. He grabbed his stomach as pain tore through him and looked up angrily at Dwalin.

"Don't look at me that way. She was fiercely possessive, despite her small size. Looked like a cat cornering a bear actually", Dwalin chuckled and patted his back.

Thorin shook his head and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Dwalin relaxed back and crossed his arms again, "even though you were not so far behind into groping her".

"Shut up you corroded fossil…" Thorin hissed in disbelief.

Dwalin laughed heartily, "be glad it wasn't Balin catching you with your tongue buried into this girl's tonsils. Not even Vala Aule would be able to dig you out of that ditch".

Thorin was unable to hold his silent laughter at that one, "For that I am glad", he agreed.

Dwalin's laughter died down as they shared the ale and Thorin passed over his pipe. He inhaled deeply and then his face settled thoughtfully, "I feel blessed though…" he let the thought float in the air between them.

Thorin took back the pipe and leaned his elbows on his knees, "about what?"

"Seeing you happy after so long".

Thorin huffed, "happy is a heavy word brother".

Dwalin nodded, "First time I saw you pulling away from that never-ending darkness that always surrounded you after Siv's death. First time you are willing to let a woman get close to you".

Thorin cast him a thoughtful gaze, "Acting as if it was easy for you to get over Lilja's betrayal. After that, you wiped out the idea of another partner, didn't you?"

Dwalin's brows came together in disagreement, "I did".

"Why would I be any different?" Thorin gave him the pipe.

Dwalin inhaled deeply having lost all mood for playfulness.

Thorin shook his head, "Keep the word happy at bay brother. Whatever this is….it's too soon to label yet. As for happiness it's not a state one can obtain and keep forever. I cannot just be happy again and remain as such. Happiness is simple moments…such as this one".

Dwalin looked at him nostalgically, "Sharing weed?"

"And ale", Thorin raised his brow.

"Talking about women…." Dwalin raised his cup.

"That were…" Thorin raised it too.

"And maybe will be…", Dwalin clanked their cups and drank his in one go.

Thorin smiled and emptied his also. That is when they saw Bjarki returning with Valdis and Thorin sprang up, "time to make my exit" he whispered at Dwalin.

"Where are you going?" Dwalin looked up confused.

"I need to avoid her asking me for another dance," he replied.

Dwalin pursed his lips and looked at him dourly. Without wanting to linger a moment more he walked to the door, catching his sister's inquiring eyes for a brief second and answering with a calm nod that everything was alright before closing the door behind him. He leaned on it and closed his eyes for several moments feeling grateful that he had gotten away even if it was for a little while. Then his brain went into overdrive and he directed his steps towards the service rooms that were at the right corridor of the dining hall. The prudent words of Dwalin were not forgotten as he hid in a dark alcove that was created between two large columns. He stayed there patiently for several minutes. When she opened the door of the kitchens and came out his heart smiled. He bit his lower lip as his eyes rolled down her figure. She was holding a large basket of oranges and her long red hair was hiding half her face behind those long lose curls. Right then and there the urge to push her hair away and bury his face onto her neck engulfed him and he didn't allow her to go by. His hand came out and wrapped around her bicep. She opened her mouth to scream with wide eyes full of terror, but he was quicker than her. He pulled her in and drove her against the wall. Then in one swift and smooth move he did what his body was aching to do since he saw her again this noon. He sealed her lips with his firmly enough to draw out a small panicked cry that melted into a gasp of pleasure when she realised who he was. Her arms let go of the basket and all the oranges rolled away from the alcove and into the corridor. His firm kiss slowly extinguished into unbearable tenderness and then he smiled down at her, "your oranges my lady are making a run for it".

Her arms came around his nape and drew him down, "what took you so long?" She whispered.

"I couldn't get away from them", he frowned.

"I couldn't get closer to you, I was trying to find a way all bleeding day…" she began muttering, but he wanted to taste her so badly that his mouth sealed her open lips with a new impassioned kiss that made her shudder under his hands.

"I almost died of boredom in there", he murmured and his thumb traced the hairpin of her mouth.

"I almost thought I would never get to feel you this way ever again", she said and he frowned.

"What?" He pulled back slightly.

She lowered her eyes to his mouth and her forefinger and thumb trapped his bottom lip gently, "I thought that was it…that what happened in the forest was not going to be repeated".

His palm cupped her cheek and his thumb caressed her under the earlobe, "Not unless you order me to stop".

She beamed up to him and the inside of her elbow locked behind his neck never wanting to let him go, "Me ordering you?…don't you have this a bit upside down?"

His smile was unforced, genial and echoed in his eyes, "You have a carte blanche on me, Eilin. Use it wisely", the depth of his voice and the insinuation of his words made her sober up.

She touched his lips softly, "Fine then…please continue", she whispered.

His appreciative moan echoed through her spine and melted her against the wall. His mouth reciprocated her soft touch with the same fire igniting experience she had felt at the forest and she turned into warm honey from his sensual attention. His hands cradled her beautiful face as he explored her mouth fervently, letting the roughness of his beard become an arousing contrast to the softness of his mouth.

She tried to reciprocated his passionate kisses, with rough teeth on his mouth and nails at the side of his neck, reminding him of the tigress he had first seen at the forest. The fire that was hiding well under her prudent behaviour wasn't a figment of his imagination. Excitement and anticipation gripped him, when he heard her whispering encouraging words into his mouth and gave her hot kisses all the way to her ear not caring that he was moving too fast. Her flaming response fed him with courage.

"Thorin...I...", she tried to speak again, but instead her words faded into a gasp when his lips run a straight line down the side of her throat which ended up in an open lip kiss on her collarbone.

He drew in a patch of prickly skin and bit down on it lightly before opening his mouth to taste her. She remained quiet during that trial of his, until he decided to stop playing around and sucked the soft skin of her neck into his mouth. That is when all her resolution was thrown out the window. Her fingers got buried through his side braids and she threw her head back to the wall releasing a surprised cry of pleasure that echoed into the corridor. He pulled back with a deep hiss and placed his finger on her mouth, "Hush men urzudel**, softly".

She squeezed her eyes tight and tried to regulate her breath, "I am sorry…", she kissed his finger gently.

"It's my fault. I became too aggressive with you".

She opened up her eyes with a small frown, "I love what you are doing, I just cannot control what comes out of my mouth when you are touching me like this", she said with raw honesty.

He smiled gently and looked at her swollen lips, "Missed your awkwardness".

She caressed his hair and kissed his mouth softly, "only that?"

"Your warm lips, your soft skin and the volcano you are hiding somewhere deep inside you", his eyes looked at her face adoringly.

"And I missed everything on you, apart from this", she said and her fingers touched his golden coronet.

He smirked, "You don't like it?"

"I don't like what it represents on you," she said with a sad frown and her fingers caressed the braid that was twisting around the coronet at the side of his head, "you see I want this", her arms went around his body and embraced him tight, "...and this…this thing doesn't belong between us".

"but it is part of who I am", he frowned and brushed his fingers on the scratch of her cheek thoughtfully.

"I want to forget that part", she said honestly.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead on her wound tenderly, "Eilin, I cannot change who I am and neither can you….you have to let that go", his brows furrowed.

"I am afraid that it will undo whatever it is that we are trying to do here in the end", she looked at him with eyes that welled up.

"Maybe it will, but maybe it will not. You mustn't allow vague suppositions of the future destroy what we have right here…now", his thumb rested on her jawline. 

She smiled sweetly back at him, "you are right".

"Can I have another kiss, without becoming as aggressive as before?" He asked and his hand cupped her neck as he looked down to see if he had left any nibbles on her sensitive skin.

"My pleasure," she said and her lips captured his with a gentleness that send a warm trickle down his spine, but he had seen something that didn't fade away from his mind that easily. His lips reciprocated her kiss, but his thumb traced around the place were he saw a purple bruise that resembled fingers. He pampered her lips softly until she closed her eyes and then pulled back carefully. He frowned down at her bruise.

"What's this?" His voice took on a bleak tone that passed quickly onto her.

She opened her eyes and understood what had drawn his attention, "Oh, it's nothing, just bumped into a chair in my room. Awkwardness you know…the thing you like about me?" She tried to jest.

His eyes returned darkly on her face and then his finger traced around the scar on her cheek, "chair did that also?" He said.

Eilin felt the blood draining from her face, "yes".

He scrutinised her with a brooding frown that made her jitter, "why didn't you braid your hair today Eilin as etiquette ordered?"

She raised her hands and caressed her head, "I know you like them wild like this".

His hand got buried under her mane and instead of her warrior braid he found the stubble. She leaned her head back and didn't try to stop the tears that came out unbidden, "Who did this to you?" His voice was grave and distinctly hostile. The feeling of guilt was overwhelming as his need to grope her had overpowered his ability to see that she had obviously been abused.

Her arms, that had never left his shoulders, tightened around him and she pulled him to her. Her head leaned on his chest and she shook it, "it matters not. I am happy where I am right now and nobody can stain that for me".

His jawline gritted and his arms wrapped around her body and pulled her away from the wall. He cradled her close to his heart, "The bruise on your neck resembles fingers. Fingers too small to belong to a man".

She sniffled, but remained silent.

"Who cut off your braid, who slashed your cheek and who bruised you?" His voice was equal parts aggressive and caring.

"It doesn't matter", she whispered feeling comforted and cared for beyond belief.

"It matters to me and unless you give me a name, the whole of Erebor is going down for it", his voice was heavy.

She pulled back with teary eyes, "No that won't be fair…"

He caressed her cheek softly, "No one touches you," he said with a possessive frown, "Give me the name of the offender".

"Thorin, no…" she said.

He leaned down and captured her lips between his, "her name," he murmured and his fingers run at the side of her neck until they reached her bruised collarbone. There his forefinger drew gentle circles on her purple skin until her eyelids fluttered shut and she exhaled in pleasure.

"It's of no use… I am always a target…I have always been one…." She whispered.

"Not anymore you won't be, not under my rule. The name of the offender," he repeated and licked the seams of her lips until they opened up for him eagerly.

"No…" she murmured.

His tongue entered her mouth and engaged hers with a gentleness that made her exhale through her nose hard until he pulled back, "name".

"What will you do to them?" She cupped his cheek and looked at his eyes.

"That remains to be seen", he said honestly.

She bit her well kissed lips and felt her eyes welling anew, "I can make another braid, it's nothing".

"I will make you a new one that's true. Now name", he commanded and his fingers entwined into her long hair, massaging her head softly. In the end he managed to make her lean her head back and close her eyes. Offering her neck as an unwrapped gift. That is when voices came from the corridor and she opened up her eyes in panic and her nails clawed him above his velvet vest, "Thorin?" She whispered.

He brushed his knuckles on her jawline and cheeks and she threw her head back easily for him once more. His mouth brushed near her ear and she tensed under him, "now silence, my beauty".

She nodded and swallowed heavily in expectancy. He leaned down and his mouth opened up on her burning skin. She felt the already twisted coil in her stomach tightening even more as he gave her open lip kisses all down to her upper chest. Then he slowly tasted his way up to the soft skin that was between her jawline and her ear, biting her softly until he felt her skin prickling, "name", he exhaled in her ear.

She shuddered hard and her leg came up against his thigh instinctively, "Karunn", she admitted not caring who he was going to punish at that moment. Only his lips on her skin mattered and his body against hers. Not even the voices that spoke of the idiot who spilled all the oranges mattered anymore.

He tensed against her for a brief moment, but he resumed his slow torture all around her neck, "Fain's oldest daughter?"

She nodded and bit her lower lip in anticipation, "She did it because..."

A small hostile wave came from him and he spoke over her, "I don't care about her reasons". She was just about to open up her eyes to check on him, but he didn't allow her. He buried his head to the hollow of her neck, drawing in her skin with a fierceness that left her breathless and made her whole body break out in goosebumps. Warmth trickled between her legs and instantly she wanted to alleviate the tension that was twisting inside her in any manner. Instinctively she rocked against his thigh, surprised to feel this motion feeding the fire between her legs instead of diminishing it and his fingers hooked under her knee keeping her locked there. Her chest rumbled as she managed to stifle her cry this time. He pampered her with wet kisses up to her earlobe, "Very good", he whispered, as the voices faded away slowly.

"For giving you a name or not moaning out loud?" She offered him a timid smile.

"Both my beauty", he said and cupped her cheek, "I am sorry you had to go through this", his brows became solemn.

She reciprocated the soft touch that came into such contrast to his visceral kisses a moment ago, "I am used to being treated this way".

His frown deepened, "Time to learn new ways…"

A wave of confusion rippled through her brows which got dissipated quickly as he captured her lips in a kiss that spiralled her out of reality and her rocking against him resumed, slowly thrusting her upwards, making her chest heave and her eyes to squeeze tight. Making her knuckles turn white around the fistful of tunic she had managed to grab from him, hoping that he wouldn't change positions and make her lose the pleasure that she was getting out of this. Unfortunately though a few fiery moments later he proved that he had other plans. Her bliss was not to last. Right as she was finding her sweet spot and could vaguely see the road to unwinding this accursed coil, he pulled back and gently caressed her face. Grounding her momentum rather hard. "Damn you Thorin", she panted and looked at him through hazy eyes.

"You are getting out of control", he frowned down at her.

"Maybe I want to get out of control, ever think of that?" she frowned back at him.

"Not here, not like this", he caressed her temple softly.

She exhaled and felt her heart thumbing so hard it was almost ready to jump out of her throat, "fine", she spat. She didn't know if she sounded pissed off, or aroused as hell and she didn't care. All she wanted was for him to resume his kisses and her lower body to pick up it's ecstatic labour against his thigh.

"You need to calm down", he said and cleaned her hair away from her cheek.

"Easy for you to say", she winced.

"Not easy at all, believe me", his mouth held a mischievous smile that made her stomach bubble.

"We have to part ways then?"

"Yes," he sounded regretful.

Her forefinger twisted around one of his warrior braids, "Will you go to Bofur's gathering at night?"

He humphed, "the river swimming endeavour?"

"Yes"

"I don't think so, you?"

"I will if you do", she said with a sweet smile and kissed softly where his neck met his collarbone.

"Fine, I'll come then".

She sighed in relief, "That answer is enough to make me forget what you did to me just now".

"Be patient", he said affectionately.

She tightened her arms around him, "I must go now, mustn't I?"

He nodded, "If you don't want my sister mad at you for missing so long, and my men worried that I suddenly bled away in some corridor, yes".

She chuckled and came on tiptoe to give him a quick kiss, "Send me away or I won't go", she smiled.

"Go-away men gehyith*", he said and kissed her back.

She pulled back regretful to lose the delicious heat of his body, and run to the corridor before stopping. She turned and gazed at him long and hard...before coming back. She fell on him with such force that he unwillingly backed up to the wall. Then she kissed him fiercely, until he exhaled in deep gratification. "Now the little dove goes away", she said happily and ran away.

He leaned his head back and looked at her long hair waving with her happy canter. His smug smile remained on his lips until he opened the door to the dining hall and met the raised brow of Dwalin. Then his countenance slowly sobered up and his eyes searched with cloudy deliberation through the whole room until they found Karunn. He approached his friend that was talking with Bjarki.

"What took you so long? Lunch is almost over", his friend said.

"I am sorry, I got caught up", he said absently.

"Caught up indeed in a spider's web. You look absolutely tousled", Dwalin noticed with a testy frown.

Thorin touched his hair and found that the side braids around his coronet had come undone. He winced annoyed and began fixing them, but his mind was preoccupied with matters much more important. He just returned Dwalin's glare with a raised brow of dismissal.

"Did you pass through a tornado or something on your way here?" Bjarki joked and looked at Dwalin slyly.

"I might have…." Thorin mused and finished redoing both sides quickly and effectively.

"Tornado indeed…Didn't we agree that you should tone it down a bit?" Dwalin pursed his lips annoyed and noticed that Balin was giving them many reproachful looks.

Thorin ignored him.

"That's not toning it down at all", Dwalin pointed at him from head to foot.

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Bjarki looked confused.

Thorin twisted his head and felt the cracks on his nape, strangely satisfying, "Dwalin, get Fain's oldest daughter for me. Bring her to the throne room".

Dwalin looked at her confused, "why?"

"Just do it", he said dismissively and turned to leave.

"What about lunch, are you leaving again?" Bjarki rejoined.

"Lunch is over for me," came the grim answer and he left the room.

"What the hell just happened?" Bjarki asked confused.

Dwalin who shook his head "I have no bloody idea".

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * my little dove
> 
> ** My sun


	24. On privilege and friendships

He paced in front of his throne heavily, with his hands crossed behind his back. His face was brooding and his eyes unreadable inside the dimply lit cavern with the broken windows, the partly collapsed bridges and the empty throne. The cut off head of one of the statues that stood quite sentinels to the Mountain King, served only to remind him of the last day he stood here with his grandfather Thror, fighting over the accursed King's gem as Smaug was attacking their city. He looked up at the column that connected with the mountain itself and his lips twitched indicating his disapproval. Only one more time had he stood there overlooking the empty place of the King's gem, but then he was being consumed by the sickness...a sad shadow of his former self. The moment he came close to the throne, the brightness of Eilin quickly faded away and the fire he had felt for her got easily dissipated under the heavy footprints of his past. Instead of trying to eliminate those grim feelings, he fed his introspection with them, intending to use every single bit of their darkness against Fain's daughter. Overtaken as he was by these thoughts, he didn't realise how much he resembled his grandfather at that moment. The only thing that separated him from Thror was the coronet he was wearing, instead of the raven crown. He stood like an apparition from the past, a reborn heir of Durin, a silent sentinel himself of his heavy lineage, in front of Erebor's golden throne until the military tempo of Dwalin's boots made him look up darkly. Eilin's offender was running after his best friend, trying to catch up. He began pacing in front of his throne again like a lion inside a cage, until Dwalin and Karunn stopped under the final steps that led to the throne and bowed.

"Lady Karunn, daughter of Lord Fain, your majesty", Dwalin said.

He turned to his friend, "leave us".

Dwalin bowed again and left. When they were alone, Thorin stopped and placed his heavy boot on the first step of the throne. His brows came together sternly, but the look in his eyes was veiled. He allowed the silence to feed this insolent woman's nervousness for a rather long stretch of time until she decided to addressed him in obvious confusion.

"Men Uzbad, I am at your orders", her voice reminded him of the purple bruising on Eilin's collarbone and his mood turned dangerously hostile.

He turned a frozen gaze at her, that would have stripped down anyone's resolution.

She looked around her slightly uneasy, "You called on me Sir?"

His thick brow rose slowly.

She inhaled deeply and stippled her fingers, "Sir?"

His eyes narrowed, "Your name is Karunn?"

She exhaled in relief as his innocent question began dissipating the clouds of doubt that had gathered around her upon arrival, "Yes, my Lord".

"Your first time in Erebor?"

"Yes, my Lord", she smiled widely.

"Of course. This stronghold was abandoned long before you were conceived by Fain and his wife", he continued with the same darkly quiet voice.

"Indeed my Lord", she agreed.

"Dain spoke about you and your sister with the highest of praise. Tell me a few things about yourself", he removed his heavy gaze from her and looked at his throne.

Her eyes looked up eagerly, "Like what my Lord?"

"Anything you might deem as..." his lips twitched in cynicism, "...important".

She looked at the floor thoughtfully for a few moments, "I was born in the Ironhills in 1888 and I was alone for five years before Valdis arrived. I love to write stories. I can sing tolerably well, but most of the times I avoid it since my sister sings much better. I've studied the history of our forefathers and the elder scrolls for fifteen years and I know how to write and read very well. I enjoy riding, swimming and drawing".

He frowned with his back turned at her, "Have you ever travelled outside the Ironhills?"

"Never my Lord".

"Why?"

"The need never arose".

"So this is your first time away from the safe enclosure of your city", he said thoughtfully.

"Yes and isn't it an amazing experience indeed?" She smiled as much as her stiff personality allowed her. She still couldn't understand what was the point in all this. It wasn't as if the King was suddenly interested in her personally more than he would be at her sister.

"Apart from your academic studies, were you taught any trades that you could use to support yourself?"

"What do you mean my Lord?" She asked confused.

He raised a brow at his throne, "which ability of yours would you sell if you needed to earn some money?"

She felt totally confounded, "I don't need that. My family has a lot of money already".

"Let us assume madame, that you are penniless. What trade would you use to feed yourself and your family..." his voice dropped.

She cringed and bit her lower lip, "I don't know. I have never thought about that my Lord, forgive me".

His lips turned into a sarcastic smile, "You are ignorant of such toil and trouble".

"Yes, thank Vala Aule, my Lord." She bowed.

"Leave Mahal out of this and thank your father. He was the one that slaved for you to be in this privileged position", he rebuked coldly.

"I am thanking him everyday my Lord", she bowed. The faint feeling that she was being accused of something was becoming stronger with each word that was coming out of the King's mouth.

"Has your father ever spoken to you about his early days here in Erebor?" He leaned down and picked up a golden piece that had broken free from the arm of his throne.

"Yes my Lord, always with the most heartfelt words about those precious days", she smiled carefully.

"Has he spoken about the grandeur of this city?"

"He never stopped my Lord! He spoke of the golden gilded ladders and the silver floors. Of the engraved ceilings full of precious gems like the moon room. The statues of our forefathers, that reached the top of the caverns under the mountain and the hot springs that boiled from the volcanoes below. The monstrous furnaces that burned day and night to warm up the beautiful homes and the great trading centres that many villages and cities around Erebor used to come in order to buy jewellery, armoury and weapons forged by our great blacksmiths. He spoke of the clear waters that passed through the mountain and spilled from the side of it's gates as if Erebor was feeding life and wisdom the rest of the world. He spoke of the mighty Kings that were dressed in golden embroidery and had beards full of precious stones. He told us about the King's gem that shown brighter than the sun above the throne...the heart of the mountain! He spoke of the prosperous life the lords and ladies of this grant stronghold led and the rivers of gold in it's treasuries…the equals of which no one could find anywhere else in Middle Earth!"

"We just found the first mistake of your father", he turned the golden piece in his large hands.

She frowned, "what mistake do you mean my Lord?"

"He spoke of Erebor's wealth and prosperity, which was the result of hard labour from the working class of Durin's folk, but never about them".

She remained silent, feeling like she was walking into a trap.

He raised his brow and kicked his throne dismissively, "This elaborate throne, this room, these statues and the arkenstone that used to be up there", he pointed with his hand, "were all created by men and women, whom you wouldn't have deemed worthy of your respect! Not dwarf-lords, nor the King".

She gasped and averted her eyes.

He smirked, "Dirty, tired, unschooled, smelly workers madame….ever heard of them inside the privileged bubble your precious father has raised you in?"

She shook her head, "of course…I…"

He spoke over her with a deep authoritative voice that send shivers down her spine. "Masons, delvers, woodsmen, miners, forgers, hunters, water-works masters, brimstone masters, carvers, jewellers, traders, cleaners, cooks….soldiers….people that sacrifice themselves and offer their labour so you can be alive and full of arrogance. Ever heard of them?" He turned around and his eyes were openly angry.

It was the first moment she felt that she had not been called here for anything good. "My Lord of course…" she bowed.

"Did your father ever describe to you how much he laboured when the dragon took Erebor and he went into exile with his brother and father?"

She nodded and swallowed her tongue.

"Did he speak about the abhorring conditions of poverty he had to sustain in order to build a new home for his family?"

She nodded quickly again.

"He mustn't have done a very good job then. Do you think when Nain decided to separate from us and locate his people in the Ironhills, they had all this wealth you were raised in?"

She shook her head and averted her eyes from his demanding stare.

"Do you think he did not labour for his people or his family as much as your father laboured for you and your sister?"

"I know he did my Lord…"

"Silence!" Came the thundering command, that made her jitter and close her eyes. Cold sweat broke on her forehead.

"Your life in the Ironhills was paved on gold that was created by the sweat, tears, blood and hard work of the people you don't deem worthy of your respect!" He snapped and discarded the broken piece violently.

As it clanked on the marble floor she jerked and felt the colour draining from her face.

"When Dain introduced you and your sister as iron maidens I expected to see honour and pride, but above all kindness and empathy for those who were unlucky enough to be born under your command. I was ultimately disappointed from the work that your beloved father has done for your upbringing".

"I have disappointed you my Lord." Her voice was diminished.

He crossed his arms behind his back, "My grandfather Thror was a fair man. He respected the work of each man and woman living in Erebor. From the lowest miner that dug up the heart of the Mountain, to his highest commander. He was not judging people according to birth rights, but on character, which was admirable. He believed in equality for all, as all are born equal under Vala Aule, no matter that some must lead and some must follow. The followers though are not valued less than the leaders".

Her fingers stippled hard in front of her trousers and she was sweating profusely.

"My father Thrain was equally fair to all in the Blue Mountains. As for me...", his low chuckle sounded terrifying to her in the context of his scolding, "...you were unlucky to have fallen into my path…". His eyes darkened, as they concentrated on their target.

She swallowed hard and closed her eyes.

"Acts of violence are not tolerated in these walls, while I am their ruler. Acts of violence that specifically target unprivileged members of our city, especially unprovoked will be seriously reprimanded", his voice dropped several octaves as he walked slowly towards her.

"Sir...please", she sniffled.

His shoulder almost brushed with hers and he stopped next to her. Towering over her, diminishing her with his stature alone. "My father taught me that it was dishonourable to mishandle women in any form, physical or otherwise. In my two hundred years of life, nothing was able to bend my resolve to follow his ethical teachings, not even my dealings with the lowest scambags. Yet you madam, are the first woman that shook my beliefs to the core", he hissed closed to her face.

"My Lord please…you are scaring me", she muttered and tears fell freely from her closed eyes.

"I would be unable to live with myself if I stroke you down right now, and that's the only thing that's keeping me from doing it, not my father's teachings", he spat through gritted teeth.

A hard sob left her chest and she cupped her mouth and looked away from him.

"You physically attacked Eilin Firebeard causing her several wounds. That was the final straw in a series of verbal attacks that my sister and my comrades have witnessed in the past", he pulled back and quickly regained his composure on the outside even though his hands were trembling from the sudden rush of adrenaline.

"I am so sorry, please allow me to fix all this…I will do my best," she opened her eyes and looked at him pleadingly.

"I yearn to force you to apologise to Eilin in the presence of all my court and all the dwarf-lords of the army, but the immense respect I have for your father and uncle are stopping me. They are the ones that have earned you this last thread of patience from me. Next time I see you causing grief to any member of this city, I will imprison you and you shall forego a public trial".

She exhaled and gritted her teeth against his assault, but more against her hatred towards the stable girl who brought her into this unfortunate position, "Never shall it be repeated my Lord", she tried to stop her tears, becoming angrier by the minute.

"Do you have anything to say on your defence?" He closed his eyes trying to keep his temper at bay.

"I tried to protect my sister", came the wavering answer.

"Your sister was in danger from my maiden?" his brow rose.

She shook her head and her jawline tensed painfully. She couldn't reveal the real reason of attacking the bitch, without this becoming even more serious than it already was, "No, no Sir. I overreacted...please forgive me".

"Your actions were unworthy of a Durin's maiden. They were dishonourable, despicable and vile. You will remove yourself from my sister's company on your own accord. Find a plausible explanation why you chose to do so".

"Yes, my Lord", she bowed down feeling her knees weak and trembling.

"You will never approach Eilin Firebeard again, and you shall not address her in any manner whatsoever. If I even see you looking at her the wrong way, I will become your worst nightmare. You won't find a single place to hide in Middle Earth", he said coldly.

"I will not my Lord. Must I leave Erebor?"

"After what has taken place, I will let common sense lead you to the appropriate decisions", he squared his shoulders towards his throne.

"My sister?"

"She remains".

"At your orders my Lord," she bowed..

"Get the hell out of here before my temper runs out. I feel devastated to call one of Fain's daughters a lesser woman. Begone!", he spat and didn't even honour her with a look.

She bit her lower lip till blood spilled into her mouth and run away from the throne room without raising her head. That moment Thorin didn't know that he made a lethal enemy who swore to strain every single inch of happiness from him, if only she was given the opportunity. The only thing he knew was that this altercation had blown away the blissful content he had felt a little while ago in Eilin's arms. He forgot all about his promise to go find her that afternoon in the river along with his comrades and all he was able to do was brood in front of his throne for a long time. When he finally decided to leave he met Dwalin the moment he took the bridge on the right. He stood there quietly with his arms crossed above his war axe. Thorin stopped with his head bowed next to him, "How long have you been here?"

"Since you told me to leave", Dwalin said nonchalantly.

Thorin nodded.

"You came very close to creating your first diplomatic episode since escaping death. Didn't take you too long to get back in shape", he friend smirked.

Thorin's lips turned down, "Proud of me?"

Dwalin tilted his head, "You've given me ample reasons to be proud to have you as my King. That speech of yours, was certainly one of them".

Thorin's eyes darkened, "This doesn't get out".

"You didn't need to warn me of the bleeding obvious. Is Eilin alright?"

Thorin raised his brow and nodded, "Yes. She is a brave girl".

Dwalin cast his eyes down and remained silent.

"Get some masons tomorrow and clean this wreck up will you?" He tilted his head back towards the throne room.

Dwalin's lips upturned in a slow smile, "with pleasure. It was about time. Maybe I should pass that order to my brother, he will be elated".

"Do what you want", Thorin's hand landed on his shoulder and squeezed it, but his eyes were downcast.

"Lunch is over. Everyone has withdrawn to rest for noon. You want company?", Dwalin looked at him with care.

Thorin shook his head, "I will go to the burial vaults for a while".

Dwalin frowned, "Aren't you coming at Bofur's swimming exploit? It will be good for our company to be back together for a night of fun, right?"

Thorin smiled, "it's much later isn't it? I will make an effort since I promised Eilin".

Dwalin's mouth broke into a knowledgeable smile, "I see".

Thorin's face fell.

"Don't stay too long down there. Let the dead keep in the company of the dead, and the living with the living" Dwalin's eyes were worried.

"Alright", he said and walked away from his friend who observed him with silent solicitude.

* * *

"Damn it's bloody frozen", Eilin said and felt her teeth rattling.

"You, young lady, didn't drink enough to attempt a swim in such low temperatures!" Dori smiled from the shore and raised his cup.

"You, mister Dori, haven't even tested the waters with your fingers!" She rebuked and tried to swim around in order to warm herself.

"What do you think I am? Some kind of an idiot?" Dori said and looked at young Ori. They both laughed.

"She is not a dam, therefore I must assume that she doesn't have the famous dwarven resistance to extreme temperatures", Ori noted when they settled down with an academic interest and opened up his book in order to scribble something down.

She swam towards them.

"You are a dwarf and you still have less resilience and stamina than this girl," Dori said cleverly.

Ori cringed, "that's true. So do you think there is something wrong then with my body?"

"What's wrong is that you cannot lift a mace to save your life", Dori raised his brow testily.

"I can lift Dwalin's war-hammer!" Ori said picked.

"Stick with the scribes my boy, because no one else is going to do that for us and the generations to come will need to read about the reclaiming of the Lonely Mountain and the bravery of Thorin's company".

Ori sighed in relief, "I love doing that".

Dori leaned over and raised his brow, "Even though this part doesn't belong in our epic journey. Why did you go and put in details about half dwarfish people and their stamina levels for Mahal's beard?"

Eilin smiled, "You wrote something about me in there?"

Ori nodded and offered her a wide smile, "I find you extremely interesting to be truthful. From an academic point of view of course!"

Nori sat down next to them and bit an apple, "academic of course…." He humphed.

"Academic indeed! It is extremely interesting to catalogue and document what the fusion of two races can produce. Where else have you seen someone like her? She is unique".

"I don't know if I am supposed to feel offended by that or honoured", she said and her lips retracted.

Ori hurried, "honoured of course. I want to document everything about you. I mean look, now I've written that even though you are far thinner than the typical dam, and even though you also look thin boned, you have almost the same stamina levels against the cold. Therefore I must deduct against heat likewise…" he whispered to himself and scribed that down quickly.

Nori chuckled, "You are under a magnifying glass from my brother and Bofur alike. Each one for a different reason", he looked at Dori and raised his brow playfully.

She looked away quickly.

"Oh, leave the poor girl alone. Isn't it enough that Bofur rans after her whenever he's got the chance?" Dori waved them off, "You don't have to pretend deafness my dear. Turn around. We are not judging you, but that nose-picking toy maker who didn't feed you enough ale in order to send you to your death. Are you cold?" He asked in concern.

She shook her head surprised that she was actually quite warm, "Not anymore".

"See? She's adapted far easier in these harsh condition than expected for her body type. It's the dwarfish blood in her…" Ori murmured and began scribbling again.

"Aren't you going to try a dip?" Nori raised his brow at Dori.

"No, I am getting far too old for this foolishness. Try to convince your brother", Dori shook his head annoyed.

"You, Balin and Oin have become grumpy old men. Only Gloin and Dwalin know how to still have fun from that advanced age group", Nori poked.

"Advanced aged group…oh you little maggot, bring me my mace and I'll show you how well I have aged…." Dori looked cross at his younger brother….then in an afterthought his brow cleared, "come to think of it where is Balin and Dwalin? Didn't they come?"

Eilin got suddenly animated.

Nori finished the apple and pointed at a large group that was playing in the waters, "Dwalin is here alright, you just didn't see him. Balin is with Fili and Dain. Have no idea what they are doing. Probably conniving schemes about Erebor".

Eilin looked at the large gathering and saw Bombur jumping off a boulder and landing in the midst of them, making everyone scatter away quickly. "What about the King?" she asked.

Nori's brow rose slowly to the top of his forehead and he humphed.

"I don't know, was Thorin supposed to come? I'd have thought that with the delegations, his sister and with commanding this damned place he wouldn't have had any time to partake in our little gathering", Dori said casually.

"Indeed, was Thorin supposed to come?" Nori peered at her.

She sobered up, "what? are you asking me?"

Nori tilted his head curiously, "Yes".

"How am I supposed to know?" She pouted and began swimming again just in order to get away from that man's questioning.

"You are his maiden, if I am not mistaken", Nori said cheekily.

"He didn't inform me about tonight", she brushed him off and took a dive under the water that made her resurface several feet away from them.

"She's right, why are you interrogating her about Thorin? Go take another swim brother and stop bothering her", Dori scowled at Nori.

"Fine", Nori said wryly. He stood up and threw the stub of the apple at his brother who caught it mid air. Then he walked away from them as silently as he had arrived.

She exhaled a whole bout of unease that didn't last long as someone pulled her by the leg and drew her under. She was not prepared and she downed a lot of water before resurfacing. She thrashed trying to get rid of her assailant and coughed like mad.

Dori kneeled and offered his hand, "What's gotten into you, you hanky-waving sissy? You almost drowned the poor girl! Here take my hand my dear!"

Bofur frowned, "Oi! That offence is battle worthy! I was just playing around with her. Didn't think I was going to drown her in the process".

Eilin cleared her eyes as her cough faded, "I was not prepared for that", she said sullenly.

"I am sorry, here I'll help you out", Bofur offered and led her to the shore. There Dori caught her hand and she was drawn out.

"Sit down, I'll bring you a towel", Ori said and went off.

"I'll bring you a drink lassie, you need it to warm up", Dori said and stood up also.

"Thank you", she called after them.

"Are you alright?" Bofur pulled himself out of the water and sat down next to her.

She nodded and wiped her face, "Yes, don't worry".

"I just wanted to play with you", Bofur explained with a devastated cringe.

"Warn me beforehand please," she smiled at him.

"I will do so next time. Did you enjoy your swim?"

"Surprisingly so, are the waters warmer than expected or was it my idea?" She looked at him curiously.

"The river passes through the mountain close to the volcano that lies underneath. It is not nearly as warm as the hot springs, but it can hold its own against the snow of the north. Did you think we would be daft enough to swim in frozen waters just as winter starts up? The cold in the Lonely Mountain is vile and difficult on the skin, even for dwarves. We swim close to the waterfall of the River Running as it spills out of the mountain still relatively warm", Bofur explained and crossed his arms in front of his knees.

She smiled, "then I have to tell Ori that it was not my part-dwarven stamina that allowed me to resist the cold".

"No, waters are still too cold for anyone else but us", Bofur winked at her.

She looked down with a sweet smile, "That's good then!"

Bofur pretended to observe the river for a few silent moments and then he cleared his throat, "Ahem, I really wanted to talk to you since this morning you know", he hesitated.

"What about?" She searched his face.

"about that flower crown…" he flicked one shoulder looking uncertain.

She rolled her eyes, "Bofur, I didn't make it for anyone, honestly".

Bofur's lips puckered coyly, "Pity and I was ready to offer you one of my best hair beads".

She pulled back shocked and paled, "you certainly shouldn't do that!"

Bofur's light-heartedness got slowly replaced by a veiled look, "I was just teasing, but your answer sounded pretty serious".

She bit her lower lip, "It is pretty serious. You shouldn't ever consider giving me any kind of romantic tokens, please".

"It's something I am missing here isn't it?", he drew straight and his face fell.

She felt regret slapping her hard, but she didn't relent. Not now after what had taken place between her and Thorin. She wasn't going to lead anyone into a lost game. Even if Bofur was probably just joking about all this since the beginning, "I like your company a lot, but not in this manner".

"If you should know, it was just friendship I was seeking out of you", Bofur picked up a stone and threw it into the waters.

She sighed in relief, "Then I am sorry for acting so tensely about an obvious joke you made. I am not good at understanding humour", she smiled sadly. She had been unable to detect Thorin's humour in several occasions also.

"Never mind. It's better to clear up these things you know", he looked at her fleetingly.

"Why so, since friendship is what we both wanted?" She fixed her eyes at him.

"Just to be on the safe side", he said and pushed himself up.

"Are you leaving?" She said in confusion.

"Yeah, need to stop Bifur from bashing Gloin's head in. They've gotten into a fight, see?" He said and pointed at the river.

"Okay", she looked at him totally with uncertainty as he walked away.

Then she settled down with a deep dark frown, feeling her body rather cold and her mood deteriorating from the absence of Thorin and from what happened with Bofur just now. She remained there waiting for Ori and Dori to return so when a warm coat fell on her shoulders she smiled at her knees, "Thank you mister Dori".

"Have a drink", the solemn voice of Dwalin made her look up at him surprised.

"Oh, I thought the brothers had returned", she took the cup from his hand.

He sat down next to her, totally unbothered that he was down to his long jones and dripping wet. He didn't seem cold at all, "I intercepted them".

She took a sip "Why?"

"Needed to have a word with you", he said and crossed his arms in front of his knees.

She recoiled, "What for, mister Dwalin?"

"I overheard your talk with Bofur", he noted.

She blanched, "listening in on private conversations is not appropriate my Lord".

"In a certain context it is not only appropriate, but a must", he replied mystically.

"What do you mean?", she frowned down at her drink.

"I'll do the talking, you'll do the listening, okay?"

She paled, "Alright".

"You do know how difficult it is for dwarves to pick a romantic partner, correct?"

"Yes".

"Dwarves choose for life most of the times. We don't go around giving off hair beads, rings, or flower crowns, just for the sake of it, to anyone that might be pleasing to the eye".

"I understand", she felt her voice diminishing.

"Therefore what you did with Bofur was honourable, but almost too late. He had been courting you since you've arrived. It's not nice to lead a dwarf on, if you don't intend to reciprocate their romance", he said sternly.

"I was never certain about Bofur. I had my suspicions, but he always made a joke out of his advances. I would have cleared up things much earlier, had I known for certain. I may be just a service girl, but I know how to respect someone's feelings and not lead them on", she said cautiously.

He nodded, "Very well and that lands us on the hot topic. Don't lead a dwarf on, if your don't intend to reciprocate their romance".

"We just said that", she frowned confused.

"I am not talking about Bofur this time young lady, but about a very close friend of mine".

She blanched and averted her eyes, "I don't know what you are talking about".

"Even though I appreciate your secrecy, I will tell you a few things and you will listen carefully", his voice dropped.

She bit her lower lip and buried her chin between her knees.

"Thorin's heart has been broken in the past and after a century it hasn't mended fully. What happened is up to him to reveal, but I am his friend and I will protect him not only in battle, but in every other possible way. I haven't seen him approach a woman in ages and that means he is serious about you. If you don't feel the same way, then back off now, like you did with Bofur, before he gets hurt again. I don't care about your bloodline, where you came from or where you worked and slept before all this. I don't care about your different appearance, that I know practically nothing about you or that I cannot trace your past anywhere. I only care about my friend and how you treat him", his eyes felt like led on her.

Her heart cried out in pain.

"Now tell me…", he gritted his teeth.

"I ache for him…" she whispered and her eyes held all the honesty he was expecting to see from her.

He pulled back and his countenance mellowed up, "then you have a strong ally by your side, young lady".

She wiped away her tears, "I am speaking from the heart".

"I believe you" he said and looked thoughtfully at the river.

"How did you know?" She whispered feeling a wave of comforting warmth spreading at her frozen hands and feet.

"You two are not as discreet as you must be. A matter to address at a different time, not now", he took her cup, "now we drink to get warm and forget we've ever had this conversation", he took a few sips and handed the cup back to her.

"Are you letting me off the hook so easily?" She dared a look at him. No matter how much Thorin used to scare her before they came close, this dwarf was scaring her even more.

He snorted, "I am not out for punishment. I am out to protect the ones I love dearly. You've just met him. I've known him for two hundred years. More than you will ever live, dare I assume".

She looked at her crossed fingers and bit both lips in determination, "I know I've only just met him, but my loyalty to him is just as fierce as yours…"

Dwalin's brow rose critically, "You've given good indications up to now, but everything else remains to be seen".

"I am under a magnifying glass…and already more exposed than I could have ever wished for. Not that all this wasn't expected", she frowned and felt her back shuddering.

"Having regrets?" He sipped some mead and passed it over to her.

"Never, even though not everyone is as well predisposed towards me as you mister Dwalin," her voice dropped.

He smirked, "Oh, the ones with nasty predispositions towards you, are already feeling very regretful for their choices".

She frowned in confusion and opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Was he talking about Karunn and if yes, how the hell did he know? Was it possible that Thorin spoke to him about it? Judging from how many years they knew each other and how close their relationship was, there was a good possibility. Was it wise for her to name names and ask though? She shook her head against that folly. "Thank you for treating me with fairness".

"As long as you are treating my friend well, you have a strong ally", he replied calmly.

They shared the ale silently for a long time, enjoying the pale moon that was peaking out of the clouds every now and then. Listening at the happy conversations of their companions and the laughter of the ladies that Nori had brought over. Finally she took up the courage to ask the question that had been bothering her like mad all this time. "Do you know why he hasn't come yet?". Her need to see Thorin felt almost unbearable, especially after the heavy words of Dwalin.

"I left him at noon as he was going down to the burial vaults. Haven't seen him since, but I bet there is a good chance of him still being down there", he said and his tone took a grim shade that worried her.

She stood up quietly and offered back his coat, "I'll go find him. Thank you for the talk and for the coat".

"Keep it", he waved her off.

She smiled and turned, with every single cell in her body magnetising towards Erebor and on the dire need of finding Thorin, when she suddenly yelped in terror and stepped on Dwalin's hand, who groaned painfully, "Hey!"

"Did I scare you?" Thorin's smile was reserved, but his eyes were affectionate.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Left canon on several occasions there, forgive me.


	25. Water and Fire

"Did I scare you?" Thorin's smile was reserved, but his eyes were deeply affectionate.

She closed her eyes in relief, "Bloody hell, I aged fifty years already….".

He laughed and Dwalin shook his head, "She aged me another fifty. What the hell are you doing lurking in the shadows for Mahal's beard? Trying to give us a heart attack?"

"I just came from the gathering. They pointed me over to this silent side of the river for you two", he said casually.

"Thought you wouldn't come", her face blossomed and her smile widened.

"I try to keep my promises", he smiled back at her.

"Did you decide to join the living?", his friend said and brushed shoulders with him.

"Yes".

Dwalin waved him off, "Good, now don't make too much noise back here. I'll keep everyone away", he said and left them as quietly as he had arrived.

Eilin felt suddenly bursting with anticipation and nervousness. She bit her lower lip and looked at her bare feet, but the smile never left her face, "I am so happy you came", she whispered.

"Sorry I was late", he said quietly.

She wanted to reach out and bring him closer, but her embarrassment was keeping her still, even though not long ago they were snogging like mad at the dark alcove outside the kitchens, "I was about to come find you".

"I overheard that part of your conversation", he said and took two steps closer.

She felt the heat that radiated from his body and instantly craved it, "How much of it?" She looked up.

His hand came up and cupped her cold cheek. He drew her gently in, "Only the last few words. Should I have heard more?"

She shook her head and her hands rested on his velvet vest, "I didn't know you were down at the burial vaults. Do you want us to return there together?", she asked gently.

His thumb caressed under her jawline and she got a brief glimpse of the deep sadness that abounded inside him, "I stayed with him as long as I could".

"You know that I would stay with you down at the vaults, for as long as you wished, don't you? You didn't have to come just to humour my stupid need to partake in some pleasant social gathering. I only wanted to be with you no matter the place. I just thought that this night with your friends would cheer you up. That was the only reason I agreed to come".

"I am going through some rough times Eilin and some days are more difficult than others", he said and his eyes seared into hers.

"Let me alleviate these rough days for you then", her finger ran above the seam of his lips, that opened up for her.

"Aren't you doing so now?" He smiled.

"Not yet…your beautiful eyes look so ailed still".

"My lovely Eilin….", she felt his breath warm on her face, "Just being here makes me feel much better already".

"Without any ale this time?" She teased.

His eyes bore seriously into hers, "Without any", then he pulled back and looked at her body, "Now on a more playful note. Young lady, you are too underdressed to be in the company of other men".

"Is this jealousy that I am witnessing?" she smiled.

"Oh, yes and I am not embarrassed to admit it".

"You don't have to be jealous. I have eyes only for you. Also the rest of my clothes are right there under the tree and I took them off just to dive in", she cupped his cheek.

His hand drew her in by the waist, "You were courageous enough to dare a swim in these waters?"

She pressed her lips regretfully, "unfortunately so. I was hoping to do it with you, but…." She flicked her shoulder.

A lopsided smile formed on his lips, "Is it too late to try one more time?"

She cringed, "I am too cold to take another dive".

"Are you sure? You might find the waters warmer the second time over", he raised his brow.

She gave him a butterfly kiss and their lips lingered hot above each other. Their smiles melted into tense anticipation that started up a warm throb in the pit of her stomach, "Quite sure…I won't go in a second time", she whispered and her forefinger caressed the ridges of his bottom lip, savouring in it's softness. Not realising that he was manipulating her closer to the edge slowly, or that with his free hand he was taking off his velvet vest.

"Maybe I can change your mind?" He said and his vest fell to the ground. Next came one of his boots.

"No way!" She frowned and looked down to see what he was doing, but his thumb raised her face up and he captured her bottom lip with his, making her close her eyes. Her small yelp was buried into his mouth as she stepped on a stone and almost slipped. His strong arms drew her in and she found herself flushed against him, but only for a moment, because the next one she was shoved unceremoniously into the river again.

He stood at the rocks above her, with his hands resting on his thighs and his chest rumbling with laughter.

She came up to the surface and inhaled sharply "What the hell!?" Then she cleaned her face and looked at him with such disbelief that his stomach bubbled up again.

"Look at you...", he laughed.

"I don't believe you just threw me in, right when I was enjoying your kiss!" She cried and thwacked the waters.

"I couldn't resist really, I am sorry. You had such a serious expression", he snorted and then more laughter came as she swam to the shore angrily.

"I want to curse you so bad right now!" she splashed water at him needing to see his laughter becoming anger. She wanted to piss him off like he had pissed her off.

"What's keeping you?" He said and bit his lower lip expectantly.

"You're the bloody Mountain King!" She cried and splashed more water at him.

"Do your best, the King is asleep right now back in his chambers. There is only me here", he provoked.

She tightened her teeth and threw him a deadly glare, "You pompous idiot! I am freezing in here and you are out there dry and warm!"

"Oh, that's why you are trying to get me wet. An act of revenge…" he humphed.

"That's unfair!" She felt her eyes welling.

He pretended pitty, "are you going to cry on me now?"

"Thorin enough!" She grumbled and got madder.

"Hey pretty one?" He thrust his chin at her.

She lingered with a distrustful frown, "What?"

"Want me in there with you?" He winked at her.

Her lips pouted, "No!"

"I can warm you up," his brow rose coyly.

"No!" she spat.

He straightened and sighed, "very well then", he said casually and turned around to wear his boots.

"Thorin don't you dare leave me alone in here now! I'll never forgive you!" She cried angrily.

He laughed and turned around, "Not a chance in a million", he said and ran towards the shore so suddenly that she screeched and tried to pull aside as he took the most gracefully perfect dive she had seen in her life. As the waters enveloped him, she remembered his sister's words about that ten meter dive he had taken as a youth in this river that almost cost him his life. Oh, she certainly saw the diver in him at that moment.

She looked around her to see him coming up for air, but saw nothing. Within seconds her heart turned from admiration, to worry, to nervousness and to near panic, when suddenly she felt something stirring around her legs. She had no chance of crying out in fear though as he came up right in front of her and pulled her wordlessly for a soft kiss that came out of nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Instantly her arms wrapped around his neck and she exhaled on his lips, "That was an amazing presentation of skill", she whispered.

"Glad you enjoyed it because I don't have any stitches and I might have just emptied half the contents of my stomach in the bottom of the river just to impress you…" he looked at her face with admiration.

She frowned worried and her hand came down to his tunic, which she lifted and searched for his bandage, "Don't make me pull you out to see if your wound is okay. Tell me that you are just joking".

"Are you worried about me?" His forehead touched hers and his arm secured her onto his body keeping her easily above the water.

"Constantly".

"I feel good enough to act like a teenager", he caressed her cheek with his and kissed her close to her earlobe.

Goosebumps broke on her skin and her mouth opened up slightly, "You scared the shit out of me and I am also very mad at you!"

"Do you want to slap me for throwing you in?" he asked and leaned close to her mouth. Waiting for her to pick up were he had stopped, but she had other plans.

"No, but I certainly want to do this", she said and pinched his side so hard he groaned in surprise and pulled away from her.

"That will leave a bruise", he chastised.

"Good, and this will wipe that self assured smile off your bloody lips!" She said and splashed his face with ample water, making him swallow most of it.

"hey…!" He tried to speak only to end drinking some more as she continued her revenge. He swam away from her towards the shore, but she didn't stop. So ferocious she was at her task that he actually got blinded enough to lose his footing and fall down. He tried to open his eyes to call her out in order to get a breather, but she fell on him so hard that he lost most of the air in his lungs. Then before he had the chance to figure things out, she straddled him and enraptured his mouth with hers. Her kiss this time didn't feel as sloppy and wet as the first time, nor as fiery and consuming as this morning at the alcove. This time it's tenderness made his heart come alive after a long time of being comatose.

He couldn't fight against the imprudent thoughts that overflowed his mind and his arms came up to enfold her on his body. He allowed her the time to explore him with a reserved and timid manner that only helped fuel his fire. He gave her ample control of the kiss and allowed his mind to draw a blank on what happened back at the throne room and in the burial vaults. When he pulled back for air her hands took firm hold of his face keeping him close, "where do you think you are going? I am not finished with you", she announced.

"First you almost drown me and then you decide to kiss me to death?" He whispered.

"After what you did to me, your comeuppance was relatively easy", she muttered and her forefinger traced his upper lip gently.

"Okay, you win. Now what? You'll keep me pinned down until we both freeze to death?" he teased.

"No, now I will do this", she leaned over and nibbled on his neck softly enough to send goosebumps all over his body.

His eyelids fell close and his mouth opened up.

"And this", she untied a scarf around her waist, which she threw behind his neck. Then she pulled him up and kissed him hotly near his earlobe.

His inhalation was broken and his fingers tightened on her spine.

"Also this", her hips undulated on him as her breath came in hot puffs at the side of his mouth.

"For heaven's sake..." he muttered and one hand twisted in her long mane and pulled her back. His eyes bore into hers, "that's not taking things slowly young lady".

"It's part of the dwarven courting for the dam to make all the first moves, isn't it?" she whispered.

"Yes", he frowned.

"So that's what I am doing. I am giving you all the signals. Now take over please", she bit her lower lip and rocked against him again, enjoying the way his fingers were pulling on her hair.

"Eilin, this is getting out of control again. I think we should pull back and take a breather". He caressed her jawline.

Her fingers got buried deep into his mane, pulling him to her with a want that fired him up, "I don't want to stop. I want you to help me quiet down this gnawing need, before I go crazy…take over please..." she whispered and captured his lips between her teeth, offering him pain with a promise of pleasure. Then she pushed her tongue into his mouth, but with such consuming passion that he groaned openly and flipped them over quickly. She found herself laying down at the wet grass with his hand cradling her head and his knee opening up her legs.

"What about propriety Eilin, this is going too fast", he murmured.

She caressed his hair gently "No Thorin…no propriety tonight between us please. Propriety was thrown out the window the moment I met you. From that moment I ached for you. I am not a lady and don't expect to be treated as such…."

He hissed and looked up deeply troubled by her words, but her eyes where there waiting for him openly doting, "this is not some half forgotten dwarven courting, but a man and a woman wanting each other. Don't stand on courtesy and make me lose something that is just a dream for me. We might not have this tomorrow. Let me be happy for once…please", she begged and her eyes filled with tears.

He wanted to kiss those tears away and tell her words of comfort. Tell her that she was wrong, but he found that he was unable to form anything else than her name. "Eilin", each letter was spoken on her mouth with a deep richness that made her body drip with excitement.

Her try to control the kiss this time was met by his gentle resistance. He pulled back and smiled down at her. His fingers twisted through her hair, caressing her until she closed her eyes. Her leg climbed up his thigh and tightened around him like a vice and his appreciation was whispered into her ear. When her small cold hands managed to borrow their way under his tunic, their firm caress send his mind into a whirl of hazy thoughts about propriety, that meant less and less with each bold touch.

An exhalation of impatience left his mouth and entered hers as his exploration became deeper. When his hand navigated on her stomach above the thin material of her undergarments she mewled in pleasure. When it rested just under her breast the vibration of her first groan, send a jolt of pleasure straight onto his loins. "I won't do anything you don't want me to do", he reassured her.

"Then don't stop", she whispered and led his hand with certainty on her.

He was able to hold his reactions against the physical pain that a sword could cause, but not against the fullness of her breast as his hand squeezed gently. When his palms felt her peaks pressing onto his skin under the linen, his body woke up violently. He pulled back to admire her for a brief moment before his hands resumed the work of untying the strings of her undertunic. Each string pulled away was accompanied by a hot kiss on her exposed throat...and each kiss was accompanied by her rocking against his thigh. When his fingers pulled back her tunic to reveal her firm breasts with their peaks already taut under the moonlight, his mouth planted hot breathless tracks on her cheek.

A soft moan escaped from her throat, which turned into a deep lustful exclamation when his fingers run softly around both mounts. He traced around them slowly on purpose to see the goosebumps on her skin hardening her peaks and his mouth watered. "You are perfect", he whispered and palmed their fullness. She held her breath as he moulded them with his rough palms and her core responded by throbbing in need. Her hands clawed at his sides, trying to encourage him to do more and he didn't hesitate. His mouth opened up hungrily to take in as much of her as he could and she arched up against him with an exhalation of relief.

"Oh, hell…", she gasped and a fresh outflow of wetness stained her at this new explosive sensation that tore through her.

Her reactions awoke a rich groan from him, that vibrated through her body, and her internal muscles clenched greedily. Her trapped feminine scent filled his nostrils and he drank her aroma with visceral need. After so many ages of dryness his arousal felt painfully unbearable. As he moved to her other breast, longing to taste every single inch of her, his free hand went south on it's own free will. He should have hesitated to untie the few strings of her thin underpants, but instead he did it with a steady hand. He should have pulled back to take a breather, but instead he almost tore them to pieces. A desperate moan mingled with a broken laugh of defeat came from him. "Stop me", his deep voice echoed through her torso.

"No…" her body arched against his.

His fingers ran slow torturous circles a few inches above the red curls of her revealed sex. "Please stop me…" he whispered, but his instincts overpowered his logic. His fingers burrowed their way under the soft material of her underpants with a self certainty he didn't know he possessed after so many years of abstinence.

"I won't Thorin", her voice was steady.

His large palm cupped her sex and his fingers grazed against her closed folds. She backed up intuitively against his palm and her folds opened up letting him feel the flow of creamy juices spreading on his skin. His eyelids dropped heavy and his breathing came hot at the side of her mouth, "You are fire..."

A smile of relief came on her red lips and she closed her eyes. As his fingers spread her open, her hand got buried into his mane ferociously, keeping him close. She rocked against his hand again, which he drew back slightly, still feeling uncertain. Her groan was that of ultimate frustration as she grabbed his wrist. Her eyes seared into his and she pushed on him vigorously. "Touch me…put out the fire that you started…"

Knowing that it was too late to back up now, he leaned his forehead against her temple as his middle finger passed through her folds and into her scorching tunnel. Her feral cry was muted by his mouth and his spine tensed beyond belief at the way she was unfolding under him with no hesitations. His arousal twitched with the need to do the same as he began thrusting his finger in her, using the heel of his palm to rub against the sensitive bundle of nerves that controlled all her pleasure. She arched up to him, already knowing that this was a lost game for her before he even began his torture.

Her mind was reduced to a single point of pleasure that he seemed to know very well how to ignite and sustain. His finger didn't feel like a intruder, but more like a part of herself that's been missing for so long. Filling out her emptiness and making her whole body throb. She jerked her mouth free from his and a deep long drawn moan echoed into the forest around them. He cupped her mouth shut and with a low hiss of domination he crushed his lips on her ear 'be quiet!', came the barely controlled command.

At the tail end of her long exhalation the word 'sorry…' was barely discernible as she was unable to form any words to express the pleasure that he was winding up in her core with his hand. Her nails broke through his skin as she tried to get a grip on the sensations that seem to run amok on her body. Sensations that she had felt on her own many times, but felt so much more enhanced now under this man's perfect handling. Not feeling embarrassed she grabbed him like a barnacle, wanting to swallow his scent as her nose buried into his long hair. Then her fading voice prayed for more... and more... and more if possible right into his ear.

His lips become soft once again on the side of her throat and his fingers twirled around her nipples slowly making the painful need awoken by his other hand between her legs become waves of creamy frustration. The fierceness with which she claimed his neck left him breathless. Her hot mouth planted wet kisses all along his skin and up to the line of his beard and he muffled his throaty exhalation inside her curly mane. One palm remained on her breast moulding it gently whilst his other hand assisted her way up quickly.

Her legs opened up and her toes curled downwards, in a race against time. She was climbing up the rough road to freedom with his lead and he longed to see her unraveling for him. Her lips freed his neck and searched for his mouth hungrily and then she begged '...please' and her rocking on the tune he had set for her, became almost desperate.

"I am here", he whispered with a gentle peck that was the complete juxtaposition of the heat that was emanating from the rest of her body and her hips gave a sharp thankful jerk.

She muffled her cry inside his open mouth and her body galloped towards the edge of the world with a speed that made her heart thumb hard in her ears. He cradled her into his arms protectively, making her feel safe enough to empty everything onto him, free of any restraints of the past….bereft of any fears….of any pain….of any embarrassment as she got engulfed only in ultimate pleasure and then she was there...

...touching freedom.

When her body convulsed once she yelped in surprise and her mouth dropped open. She remained trembling just at the edge of the precipice and his heart raced alongside hers. His mouth opened up and bit down on her throat, cherishing her unhindered ecstasy like treasure. Then he buried a second finger as deeply in her as possible, wanting to feel every flexing of her inner muscles.

His second intrusion along with a few flicks of his thumb on her swollen nub was enough to push her violently over the edge. His hand got buried into her hair and brought her onto his chest, just in time to mute the cry that tore through her vocal chords, as her body exploded under him. Her nails drew fresh scratches on his neck and her teeth left bite marks on his upper chest above the tunic. He kept on holding her tight as she rode down her orgasm. His eyes were locked tight from the effort to remain still, as the fire that had left her was now pooling into him more intense than ever. He didn't know who was panting harder, her that had just unravelled, or him that was still ravelling tighter and tighter with each fading quiver of her muscles around his poor fingers. Keeping his hot exhalations buried into her wild curls, he caressed through them until he felt all her tight limbs becoming boneless. Then he removed his fingers and her muscles desperately tried to keep him locked there. He prayed silently for his body to calm down alongside hers, even though it never got the release it so much craved. Her head rolled back at the wet grass and if it wasn't for the blissful smile on her lips, he would have believed that she had fainted.

"Are you alright men hofukinh*?" He asked.

She grabbed the front of his tunic onto her tight fists and pulled him down to her greedily, "Alright? If humping your hand feels like flying up in heaven then I don't ever want to come down again".

He bit the inside of his lip and snorted, "Your awkwardness is adorable".

She smiled brightly at him, "You've found the most precious way to undo that cursed coil that was abounding in the pit of my stomach, eating me up for two days straight! It almost drove me mad!"

He chuckled and kissed her temple gently, "I am glad you feel much better".

She nodded, "If this is what it feels like with you, then I don't ever want us to stop…"

He caressed the top of her forehead, trying to bring himself back in focus. His arousal was aching, but his need to respect her sated state won over, as the battle between what was appropriate and what his instincts told him to do, raged on. Still his body was more tense than it had been in years. "That's a small part of what it can feel like…"

She huffed and pulled him down to give him a kiss on his forehead. Then she rubbed her cheek on his and her elbow locked behind his nape keeping him in place, "That was truly amazing….I feel boneless and breathless…"

He smiled "Amazing was, seeing you unfolding in pleasure".

She caressed his sweaty temple and captured a grey lock between her fingers, "What about you then?"

His thumb traced gently the side of her mouth, "Me?"

"Don't you need to…uhm…you know", her cheeks blushed.

He laughed then and felt his body slowly settling down. All those years of military discipline were coming very useful in front of this beauty that had so openly come undone by his hand. "This was far too much for one night".

"Yet…" she bit her lower lip, "I don't want to leave you like this".

"Like what?" He gave a soft peck on her well kissed lips.

"Unsatisfied", her voice was diminished when she said that word. He could tell how difficult it was for her to speak about such things.

"I will be fine. Eilin, tell me something…" he said and his eyes seared into hers.

"Anything…ask me anything", she beamed up to him. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips puffed up. Her lower neck bore a rather visible nibble. Her hair was a wild mess around her beautiful face and his heart opened up to her.

He caressed her temple and smiled widely, "First time you enjoyed it with a partner?"

She inhaled sharply and covered her eyes with her palm, "was it that obvious?" She tittered.

He pulled her hand away, "Yes".

She looked at him with those intensely beautiful green eyes and a deep redness spread on her cheeks.

"It was my honour to be the first one to offer you pleasure, even though 'tis far from the real deal", he smiled down at her and caressed those cheeks, clearing several red locks that were entangled around her face.

"When can I feel more then?", she bit her lower lip playfully.

He drew his lips hot and wanting on her mouth, feeling the heat still lingering in the pit of his stomach, "You are insatiable, and you need to learn patience..."

"I'll do my best", her lips turned up proudly.

"Good", he awarded her with a soft kiss.

"Did my body pleasure you?" She asked timidly when he drew back.

He frowned down at her, "Was there ever any doubt about that?"

"I don't know", she muttered.

His large palms cupped her breasts fully in a knee-jerk reaction he was unable to stop and squeezed appreciatively. The well-remembered heat reignited instantly in his core and he hissed angrily at his inability to cool down as easily as he would have wanted. "I am biting down my need to claim every inch of your perfect body right now my lady. That's how mad you are driving me", he looked up and his eyes burned through her as his thumbs rolled her nipples against his forefingers silkily. The musky scent of her sex was coming from the hand that had been buried in her, and his mouth watered with the need to bury his face down there next and eat her up. Taste everything she had to give him.

Her body arched and she bit down the inside of her lip hard enough to draw blood, "Don't arouse me again, unless you intend to do something about it afterwards. This is a warning!"

It took him every single inch of willpower to release her breasts and then close up her undertunic respectfully, "I won't. I shall simply dress you up", he said and began tying up the strings of her clothing with slightly shaking hands.

She offered him the most precious smile he had ever seen in years and her hand caressed the locks at his temple tenderly as he redressed her, "Is this part of the dwarven courting?"

"Taking care of you, is part of it", his azure eyes smiled down at her.

"I don't want this night to end. You've made me so happy", she frowned.

He smiled sweetly at her, "Me neither, but we both need to get back to the gathering". When he finished he pulled her up into a warm embrace she reciprocated.

"When can I see you again?" She whispered.

"This day has been very long and we haven't even parted for the night yet. What did we just say about patience?"

"I am sorry", she whispered.

He smiled and silently caressed her long hair, until she decided to speak again, "Where you down at the burial vaults ever since noon?" She asked gently.

He nodded, "Aye".

She felt regret and guilt, gripping her guts at how ardently she asked for pleasure out of a man that was still mourning the loss of his kin. Only now that she was thoroughly satisfied did she feel the need to chastise herself. She should have been down at the vaults comforting him, not out here by the river shore clawing him bloody and biting out her orgasm onto his skin, "I should have been down there with you", she rubbed her face onto his chest.

He frowned and ran his fingers through her hair, "You don't have to be down at the vaults to help me. This, here, now, is helping me more than you can think possible".

"Don't try to sound gentle. Me getting pleasure out of your hand is not the same as holding it while you grieve", she said and wrapped her arms around his body.

He tried to look down at her, "No, not another guilt trip so soon after seeing you so happy".

She shook her head and pressed him, "Tell me, please. Would you ever allow me to hold your hand while you grieve?"

She felt him tensing and his hand searched for hers. When he found it, he stippled his fingers with hers, "You are doing it right now, for I have never stopped grieving…" he whispered and she felt his warm breath in her hair.

A shudder broke through her body and her eyes welled, "I am so sorry you are going through this. I cannot even come close to knowing your pain. I have never lost anyone, although I have left behind a good friend when her health was in dire condition. Rhiannon is probably dead now..."

She felt his body releasing slightly, "Were you two close?"

"As close as one can be inside these dreadful living conditions. I've known her for almost fifteen years. We grew up together. I was two years older than her. She was taken in as another orphan at the age of ten".

"Was she a dam?"

"No, human. An amazing girl of long black hair, much like your own and chocolate brown eyes. Tall and slim with an airy elegance in her gait. She could have become a true beauty and as for her mind it was brilliant. She could work calculations with enviable ease and she already knew how to read and write the common speech when she came to the tavern. She was also very handy with tools and she could fix almost anything made out of wood. She repaired everything in the place, from broken bed posts, to window sills and doors, but she could also carve statues of small animals and flowers. She was very good at gardening and she was the one that taught me so many things about plants and herbs".

"You admire her", he deducted and caressed her temple gently.

"I looked up to her even though I was older. She had a knowledge of the world that I didn't have. I was taken in since birth, but she had travelled far and wide before ending up in the tavern. She had met elves and your kin, and she had so many stories to tell me. We used to sit down at the dirty floor of our room, with me gawking like an idiot as she unravelled all her travels in Middle Earth. I knew that half of them were fairytales of her overactive imagination, but inside the darkness of our abode, these words were my way out".

"You escaped through them..."

She nodded fiercely and pressed him, "Yes! I used to create images out of her stories. It was through her that I first learned about the great elven realms and the unprecedented dwarven cities. Of the mighty Kings of old and of the legends that roam these lands still. Actually, I think I first heard your name from her".

He smiled upon her head.

"Add to that all these bard songs that spoke of the magical world outside my mouldy, deteriorating walls that were full of dirt and degradation and there you had it. I lived for these worlds, not for my real life", her jawline tightened.

"I am sorry…" he started saying but she huffed.

"Hey, did I tell you that she used to draw?"

He shook his head even though she didn't see him.

"Amazing talent she had. Beautiful scenes she drew of strange trees that spoke and moved..."

"Ents?" he smiled.

"Yes, Ents she called them! I've never seen them and thought they were a figment of her imagination".

"They are real", he assured her.

She shook her head, "She drew endless rivers and rows upon rows of mountains tall as the sun. Of dark lakes that abounded in front of old dwarven strongholds envied by orcs, elves and men alike."

"Mirrormere?" He smiled down at her and felt soothed beyond words by her narrations.

She nodded, "Mirromere, yes…She made me want to see everything and experience it first hand, but what hope did I have of achieving all that? Reality is, that it was mere luck that brought me here and I feel guilty for being the one given this amazing chance in life, and not her".

"What are you talking about?" His eyes darkened.

"This girl seemed to have an almost magical understanding of our world. Something that took me many years to come to terms with. I am still having a difficulty. She knew how the world worked. Both the bright side and the dark…especially the dark," he voice dropped.

"That sounds ominous", he frowned.

"Remember that I told you how beautiful she was?"

He nodded.

"The way we lived corrupted her so much that she slowly lost all the brightness in her. All her stories slowly died down until she could barely tell me goodnight. Her hand stopped painting and worked only to fix the window sills. All her small wooden animal carvings were eaten up by termites. Her smile faded and her lips were constantly turned down. That left two distinct lines of sadness at the side of her mouth. Her long luscious black hair became dirty and so tangled that she was obliged to cut it off very short. Her teeth deteriorated and her eyes lost their spark. Slowly she was diminishing until she was almost gone", she felt her eyes welling.

His thumb caressed her cheek.

"It could have happened to me. I don't know if she's dead now, but what I left behind was a young soul trapped in a body that had seen too much darkness", she whispered.

He frowned and felt his mouth drying out. He wanted to ask the girl's profession, as many things were clear in his mind from Eilin's bleak descriptions, but he didn't dare stain her memories. "Allow me the privilege to thank Vala Aule for saving you in her stead, so I can have you in my arms tonight", he spoke softly.

Her hand tightened around his, "I was supposed to be the one holding your hand while you grieve and we just did the opposite didn't we?"

He smiled and nodded.

"I hope Rhiannon is still alive", she whispered and snuggled her face where his neck met his shoulder. Her lips kissed him there with a tenderness that clenched his heart.

"As do I", he murmured and they settled in silence. Enjoying the warmth of their bodies and the gentle murmur of the river they comforted each other.

"Eilin, did you realise that in this story of this precious part of your life you also revealed to me your age?"

She looked up, "Did I freak you out with it?"

"Twenty seven?"

She cringed and nodded, "twenty six!"

He cleared some red locks from her porcelain skin and brooded over her silently for several moments before his mouth broke into a thoughtful smile, "You are a little more than a child. What am I doing all over you?"

She smacked his hand and raised her finger austerely, "In human years I am an adult!"

He shook his head, "That damned number of your age grips my guts like a vice, but what I see before me makes my heart beat faster. I don't know what to do with you…"

She gave him an open lip kiss on his neck, "maybe you could possibly repeat what you did back there…a thousandfold? Thank you very much", she whispered.

He chuckled and pulled her in for a kiss that she reciprocated with growing confidence, "I am older than many trees you see around you. If you were a dam I would have never approached you age wise. Doesn't that scare you?"

She sobered up quickly, "the only thing that scares me is that something will happen and this dream between us is going to blow away, like dust in the wind. I am afraid that I will never be able to return back to life as it was, before you came along. That's the only that scares me Thorin. Not your age, nor your heritage", she obviously hesitated, "No that's a lie. Your heritage scares me bad", she smiled.

His lips turned down.

"Nor am I scared by your huge body and your piercing gaze…which can thwart even the most courageous woman, just so you'd know", she raised her finger teasingly.

He took it and gave it a small kiss, "Don't think that your shot at humour can blind me out of what is important in these words Eilin. I heard what you said in the heat of passion. Know that I am not a man that easily beds a woman, even though it might seem so, after all that happened…"

Her finger closed his mouth and she smiled up to him, "what is this? Regrets for not courting me more? That we didn't exchange flower crows and beads or all that silliness? Maybe that dwarven customs suggest that we should have been at least engaged before we ended up rolling on the river shore like this?"

His eyes gained a sad tone that made her heart catch, "It's guilt that befalls on my shoulders, for your deserve better…"

"But you couldn't control yourself," she smirked at him.

He frowned and opened up his mouth, but no words came out.

"Good, me neither", she encouraged him with a bright smile.

"Eilin…be a little more serious about this", he chastised.

She frowned, "Fine, I will then. So I deserve better right? Better than being in your arms after my body exploded in ways I'd never thought possible, by the only man I've ever wanted in my few years of life? Our ranks are making this impossible Thorin, don't you see? You spoke about our difference in age, yet now you are not thinking as wisely as your age should have allowed you to do. You are King under the Mountain. The man that the seven families are going to swear their allegiance to. As for me? I was, am and will always be a service girl who will be unable to stand by your side officially. You know that, I know that…"

He opened his mouth to speak but she hushed him again.

"Let me speak for your required me to do so! I ached for you from the moment I saw you lying in bed trying to wake up from the dead. I don't know if I wanted you even before, like so many ladies, just from your fame alone…Don't smile for you know that's true!" She warned and then continued more heavily, "most people would have thought that I am trying to solidify my position in Erebor amongst the Longbeards through you, but that's not true. I saw in you the man and I longed for him, but this man has a name that scares me. I am not out here to demand a place by your side as a dwarven-lady, nor as your fiancee or your wife…" she laughed and averted her eyes at that, "…I am here because I am trying to see the man behind the King, as you have urged me to do so many times, hoping that you can see the woman behind the servant. Just for that…for as long as you want me, for as long as this poor dream lasts….and after that…well…" her voice diminished.

He drew her in with such vigour that she lost her breath. His lips crushed on the top of her head, "You are speaking with wisdom beyond your years, yet things are not as clear as you are trying to present them. There are many blurry lines between your words my beautiful Eilin. I cannot deny that our situation is rather complicated, but I for one, am not willing to predetermine the future based on those lines".

She exhaled and her shoulders slouched, "Now who's the wiser of the two? I spoke endlessly to convince you of the truth, and you eradicated my well thought sentences with only a few words, my ancient dwarf-lord".

He sighed and looked at the river, "Good".

They remained like that for several minutes, her almost dozing off under the soft caress of his fingers, before he spoke again. "We need to get back and keep up the pretence, alright?"

She nodded and nuzzled against him, "Alright".

When he pulled back she caressed his cheek softly, "Now you go back there first. I will join in later so we won't raise any suspicions".

She frowned, "When will I see you again?"

"Oh, you'll grow tired of seeing me. Now go!" He said and pushed her away, "you are bloody frozen. Go find the warmth of the fire and I will be there soon".

She bit her lower lip and then ran over and embraced him tightly. Her lips crushed on his neckline with an all consuming urge that made him heave and then she planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek for good measure before waving at him and running towards the gathering.

He backed up to a tree and rested on his heels, trying to settle down his heart and his scattered thoughts for a long time before deciding to join his brethren. He remained out there not minding the frozen air on his wet skin as his mind replayed not only their fiery encounter at the shore, that would probably consume his poor mind for days to come, but also their heavy conversation and the broodiness returned on his previously calm features.

When he returned to the gathering the first one he approached was Dwalin that was sitting on a log enjoying a large bone of meat. A cup of mead was next to him. Thorin climbed above the log, took the cup in his hand, sat down and emptied it in one go. Then his eyes found her once more as she was discussing animatedly with two women across the fire and his heart smiled.

Dwalin offered him a brief look of annoyance, "Hey, that was mine!"

"Was indeed", he raised his brow and gave back the empty cup.

Dwalin took a big mouthful of meat, "Hungry?"

Thorin shook his head, "No".

"You look way too tense and also bruised beyond recognition. What did she do to you back there? Eat you alive?" Dwalin pointed where collarbone met his neck.

He looked at the dried blood of her claw marks and winced. Then he pulled up his wet over tunic and tightened the strings on it.

"She also left some pretty hard bite marks there", Dwalin pointed at his upper chest above the linen that was bloody.

Thorin's face flustered and he wore his velvet vest quickly in order to hide it.

Dwalin snorted as he chewed unbothered, "Damn, she is fierce".

"Enough already," Thorin chastised and looked up at Bombur that brought him a plate of food.

"This is for you Thorin. You cannot afford to get thin…your muscle system needs to be sustained", Bombur said with a wide smile.

Thorin looked at it and instead of taking the plate he took a large bone full of meat and offered Bombur a thankful smile, "Fine".

Bombur left with a smug walk and yelled, "I got him to eat something. Now those who bet against, give me your pouches!"

Thorin snorted with his mouth full, "Will you stop betting on everything I do? Incompetent trolls…".

Eilin turned her attention at him and their eyes locked for a moment where her mouth upturned in an adoring smile.

"Nope", Dwalin said and grabbed the pouch that was thrown to him. Then he offered a nonchalant look at Thorin, "I bet for, as always when it comes to you".

Thorin humphed, "great for trusting in me".

Dwalin elbowed him and tilted his head on Eilin's direction that was being drawn to the middle of the circle by the two women, "She's a good girl".

Thorin raised his brow.

"And pretty damn honest towards Bofur before you came along tonight," he explained as Thorin's silence questioned him heavily.

"She explained to him that any romantic advances on his behalf won't be acceptable by her. That's why he is over there pretending to look at anyone but her", Dwalin threw the bone at the fire and crossed his arms.

Thorin smiled coyly towards her back and nodded, "Glad you got to witness the good in her".

A thunderous burp escaped him and he gave Bombur the thumbs up, "Perfect cooking!"

Bombur reciprocated, "That wild boar that Thorin brought in was indeed amazing".

Eilin looked up at that and snickered under her hand after giving him a foxy look that made him bite the inside of his lip.

"Stop looking at her like that, unless you are ready to stand up and admit to everyone that you two are involved", Dwalin advised.

Thorin threw his own finished bone into the fire and licked his fingers for the first time truly appreciative for the taste of food, "I am not amidst my court right now Dwalin, but amongst friends or am I mistaken?"

Dwalin's lips twisted in agreement, "That's true alright".

"Then let me be for a moment please".

"No one here is going to judge you, apart maybe from Bofur, but there are two ladies from Erebor here also, or haven't you noticed?"

Thorin frowned.

"You haven't noticed, because you have eyes only for her", his friend teased, but his words were nothing less than the truth.

Thorin's brow darkened.

Dwalin sighed, "I've never seen you approach another woman before…and you've had many candidates after Siv. Dams, common women and even a couple of she-elves", Dwalin frowned thoughtfully.

"What's the point?"

"That you refused every single one of them. Didn't you have the need to touch a woman then?"

Thorin's eyes gave him an almost murdering look that didn't ruffle his feathers, "Of course you did, and yet you chose not to. So what's so different this time with this lowly servant girl tell me? Her appearance is exceptionally different, even though I must admit she is truly beautiful. I'll give you that one…"

Thorin's brow rose testily.

"But only that. What is it that made you accept her advances and not the other women that came into your life? Hell, did she even try an advance towards you, because she's one of the most timid creatures I have ever seen, or did you do all the work yourself?"

Thorin shook his head to drive away Dwalin's insistence, "It was mutual".

Dwalin squeezed his shoulder, "What's so exceptional about her then?"

A small cloud of indecision passed from his forehead, "Her loyalty was the first thing that drew me closer, her ability to make me feel that I don't need to put on a show is what won me over…." He looked up at his friend and his annoyance melted away into a sad smile, "only Siv had managed that with me Dwalin. Only she had been able to drive away all the hard facade that my father made me structure carefully around me. Only with her was I able to be truly myself".

Dwalin's face sobered up.

"Now you are getting it," Thorin nodded at his expression, "Whenever I am with her, I can be myself".

Dwalin crossed his arms and looked at his boots.

Thorin's head shook sadly, "So allow me a moment of peace brother and don't stir the pot".

Dwalin sighed and settled back, "You answered all my questions. I'll leave you alone".

Thorin pointed at Dwalin's cup, "Pass it over".

"Alcohol won't put out the fire she obviously ignited in you", Dwalin said.

"You are right. An axe and a mace might. I need to engage you in battle lest I go crazy", he whispered.

Dwalin laughed then and shook his head, "That would be a bloody pleasure, but will Oin allow you?" Then in an afterthought he turned to their deaf medical genius, "Oin …hey!"

He placed the cone in his ear and turned at them, "Yeah, what?"

"Is he allowed to fight?" Dwalin pointed at Thorin whose eyes settled on Eilin.

Oin flicked his shoulders, "Take it easy on that. He's fresh off the stitches".

"Mace sounds easy?" Dwalin winked at the older dwarf.

Oin frowned, "it hell is not and I am not in the mood to patch him up again!"

"Hey Thorin, forget new stitches! I am not trying to keep you down again. My hernia is killing me after that accursed day!" Dori said with a frown and raised his cup as a salutation.

"Oh, no no no no", Ori shook his head with a livid face, "me neither. I've never been so scared in my life and that includes our whole journey and the ending battle".

Dwalin laughed then, "You are a bunch of elvish sissies! Come on where is your nerve?"

Eilin's flirty look at him as the men picked up their flutes to start the music was reciprocated by him. He hadn't heard anything of what Dwalin and the others were saying until his friend elbowed him once more, "Oin says no maces for you".

"Who cares what the old corpse is saying"

Eilin approached them with a happy sway on her shapely hips and a bright smile painted on her puffed lips. His eyes looked down at her throat and saw that she had closed up the tunic, so nothing was visible, but knowing that his hungry mouth had left a bruise on her skin there, stirred him once more. She smiled teasingly at him and rested her hands on her knees, "Shall I dare ask you for a dance?" She whispered.

Thorin's lips upturned in an attractive smile that made her stomach burst with butterflies, "Not unless you want everyone to figure out what's happening".

"Besides, he never dances. A rule of centuries," Dwalin said and when they both looked at him he flicked his shoulders.

"Whom shall I ask then?" Her lips pressed regretfully.

"Anyone but Bofur", he tilted his head warningly at her and she beamed down at him when she felt his possessiveness through these words.

Her lips scourged in a small half hidden kiss, before she turned around and hopscotched back to the others. Thorin exhaled through his nose and his hand tightened around his knee. When she approached Dori and he accepted her offer Thorin's lips pressed testily. When the flute began playing an airy dance in which the man had to stand still in the middle and hold the woman's hand, while she twirled around him, he straightened his body against the need to stand up, push Dori out of the way and take his place. He observed her silently as the dance progressed, how elegant her moves around Dori were, how well balanced and smooth. She seemed to be floating around him, not stepping on ground.

It was the first time he noticed that her long wavy hair was pulled back from the temples, allowing everyone a good look of her beautiful face. Her eyes were catching the light of the fire in them as she took hold of Dori's hand and executed several complicated steps, before swirling a couple of times more. His eyes drew hungrily down her figure, only to linger on the curve of her hips that were perfectly traced under those brown breeches that had his sigil on one knee. The memory of these delicious hips rocking against him made him tense. In every twist her eyes sought him out. In every turn her smile was for him even though she was holding Dori's hand. In every swirl she intentionally waved her hair around her body and offered him an amorous look above her shoulder only for a brief second. Just enough to make his breath hitch and his stomach to heat up once more with an ease that made him sweat. He didn't see that everyone's eyes seemed to be on her. Neither did he notice Bofur's face closing up as he averted his eyes from that alluring dance. When the other women stopped as their partners were too drawn in by Eilin's enchanting moves, he didn't even notice. Everyone was keeping up the beat with their heavy boots stomping the ground and their hands clapping. When Nori, Bifur and Gloin began a series of battle cries, goosebumps broke on his skin. When the dance was blessedly over and Dori bowed for her amazing performance, Thorin rubbed his forehead, "She will drive me crazy for certain", he whispered.

Dwalin was looking mesmerised also, "Didn't know she could dance so well. That other time with Bofur had been alright, but nothing compared to this impressive show, which was no doubt meant only for you. We just happened to be side recipients. Everybody is looking at her…".

"I am well aware", he winced.

"Above all poor Bofur", Dwalin cringed and shook his head.

"Grab your axe and let's go", Thorin said and stood up abruptly.

The need to hack something was so imminent that he felt sweat breaking on his forehead. Her dance had re-ignited the gnawing arousal that he had managed to settle down before, now a thousandfold. Either he was going to find a way to corner her against a tree to finish the job, or he was going to find another conduit for his frustrations. He picked up the first mace he found lying about and didn't stop to see if Dwalin was following him. They found a quiet spot a little ways off and indeed they trained very hard. Harder than Dwalin had ever anticipated, or Thorin expected to accomplish with his wound still raw and rather annoying. Their clashing and hammering thundered the ground, branded tree barks and brought down several smaller bushes, but left both of them unharmed and sweaty in the end. Thorin felt all his sexual tension melting to the ground in testosterone filled aggressiveness towards the only man that could handle his ferocity and when they stopped he leaned his hands above his thighs panting, but thankful that he felt almost cleansed. It was Dwalin's exhausted voice that made him look up, "Did you get it out of your system?"

Thorin harked and nodded, "Pretty much".

Dwalin rested on his heels and wiped away the sweat from his head, "If you go back there and she dances for you like that again, I suggest you take a break, go to your rooms and relieve yourself, because another such session will probably kill you. You are not well enough to train like this yet. Oin is right".

Thorin winced and straightened, "I know".

Dwalin raised his brow, "We've known each other since we were a gleam in the eyes of our fathers. Your blood is boiling for her. You need to settle it down in some manner before it undoes you".

Thorin's lips pursed.

Dwalin raised his finger, "Don't ask me how…" he warned.

Thorin chuckled, "I won't. Now let's go back and drink. Let's be merry tonight my friend, because tomorrow I need to go back to being King Oakenshield and I am not in a hurry to do that".

Dwalin's eyes dropped, "Aye", he said and followed his friend back at the gathering.

There indeed they drank and ate plenty and were merry. Songs of bravery were sung by his deep baritone voice as Eilin's eyes were mooning on him from afar. Jokes were received and given and laughter echoed inside the forest. Eilin's small forgotten scarf was abandoned near the rocks at the spot they found each other so passionately….and Thorin felt at peace with the world for the first time in many years. With his friends around him and that beautiful woman looking at him with such devotion.

When they broke camp it was almost dawn and half of them were asleep already in the forest bed. They escorted the women back to the city and when she left for her rooms he smiled at her discreetly. Letting his eyes promise her a new meeting soon. The only one that escorted him back to his rooms was Dwalin who reminded him that a good sexual relief would make a new man out of him in the morning.

When Thorin closed his door, he fell in bed not only comforted beyond reason, but also with butterflies bubbling up his stomach and a sweet smile printed on his lips. That's how he slept, but for very few hours… as Erebor was slowly waking up and the golden bell was striking the dawning of a new day….as for the fire of their gathering it had died down long ago, leaving his sleeping comrades unprotected from the cold till the first rays of the sun broke through the trees. When the same rays touched the river shore, the small forgotten scarf of Eilin was blown by the wind into the river and began a journey of its own into the unknown.

Much like it's mistress had done the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * my lady of joy


	26. The Misty Mountains

Three days went by since the fiery encounter of Thorin and Eilin at the river, and on the elven realm there was a different mood altogether. Gandalf and Bilbo tried to start negotiations the moment they arrived, but the elven King had other plans. He didn't agree to meet with them straight away, neither did he accept Thorin's gift, but he did offer them lodgings. They were expected to remain there until he was free of obligations in order to meet with them. Their days passed idly, with Gandalf sharing weed with Bilbo under the wooden archway of their adjoining abodes and talking about the beauty and peace of Bagshot Row that Bilbo missed so much.

The little hobbit admitted that even though he loved Thorin dearly, he intended to announce after this negotiation that he was departing for his homeland. He was so homesick, that he was unable to sleep at night. He needed to see his home, his books and his nephew so much that it was almost painful. Gandalf smiled in understanding and admitted that he wished he could accompany Bilbo in this journey back.

Then they settled back and enjoyed the distant elven signing until their eyes drooped. The lifestyle of the elven realm was so much different from what Bilbo had gotten used to with the dwarves. Here it was quiet and peaceful. Everything around them held such a slow pace, that one couldn't but relax unwillingly. Even the sun that was passing with difficulty from the wooden roofs and the thick canopy of the forest, seemed to be taking it's time. In Erebor everything was loud, boisterous and overwhelming to the point of exhaustion.

Bilbo understood that the differences between these two races were too great to ever conjoin. They were the complete opposite sides of the spectrum. On one side the dwarves were booming, intense and fierce warriors full of life and zest. On the other the elves were calm, quiet, calculated and serene beings thousands of years old, full of wisdom. How could they get along with each other?

Filled with such thoughtful calmness did these two days pass for Thorin's envoys, and they were starting to lose time and sense of urgency, when Thranduil ordered them at his presence the morning of the third day. When they arrived they were greeted by the elven King sitting on his tall throne overlooking them with the everlasting haughtiness of an all knowing being. Lady Galadriel was standing next to him. The bright light that always emanated from her, instantly warmed their hearts.

Bilbo bowed. "My lady", he whispered.

Gandalf bowed his head, "My lady", he repeated.

"Stand up Bilbo Baggins and you Mithrandir, it is a pleasure to see you again", Galadriel smiled.

"If we knew you were in the company of the lady of light, we wouldn't have bothered you", Gandalf said.

"Mithrandir, your presence here was unexpected, but not unwanted. Forgive me for not seeing you earlier. With my son gone, I have to take over many tasks, until I find a similarly capable commander to take over", the King said gracefully.

"How about Tauriel?" Gandalf raised his brow.

Thranduil hesitated momentarily, "We haven't even greeted each other properly and you are already conniving schemes about my realm".

"Forgive me, it's second nature to me", Gandalf smiled knowingly.

Thranduil waved him off, "Now I see why the Mountain King dislikes you".

"You can say you have that one thing in common. It's a start", Gandalf smiled slyly.

"Tell me what you are doing here, with the hobbit in tow", Thranduil's beautifully bright eyes fell on Bilbo.

"We came to bring you a gift from Thorin!" Bilbo said with no hesitations and Gandalf leaned on his staff and looked at him annoyed.

Bilbo flicked his shoulders, "What? If I wait for you two to get over all the typicalities my hair will grow white!"

Thranduil raised his brow and his eyes fell on Gandalf.

The grey wizard winced and waved at Bilbo, "Well you took over master Baggins. Now go up these steps and give the King his gift, what are you waiting for?"

Bilbo hesitated momentarily, before climbing up the circular stair that led to Thranduil's throne. When he reached the final step, he felt the elven King's brow raising critically as he looked at Bilbo's feet, "Oh, I am not supposed to come all the way up, am I?" Bilbo asked confused.

Thranduil pursed his lips patiently.

"No, you are not master Baggins. Now offer the gift, for you are certainly going to kill me with your lack of propriety", Gandalf barked.

Thranduil's lips broke into a small smile.

Bilbo placed it on his lap and drew back respectfully. It took several moments until the elven King decided to untie the strings of the velvet sheath and pull out Thorin's impressive blade. The dim sunlight caught into the shiny surface of the weapon and brightened up each dwarven rune, until Thranduil's eyes lingered on the impeccable dragon on the hilt. His youthful face, that hid behind it's perfection the thousand years of his age broke slightly to betray a spark of admiration. Then he turned his eyes on Gandalf and that spark faded under an austere frown, "which master-forger created this?"

"The Mountain King himself", the grey wizard smiled proudly.

Thranduil raised his brow and stood up. He balanced the sword in his hand and then with a swift twist he took hold of it's hilt. He tried a few elegant turns of his wrist, before the satisfaction was clear on his face, "flawless".

Bilbo looked back at Gandalf with a wide smile and came down the steps smugly, "see? he has an eye for these things".

"It's not only forged to perfection, but it is also very valuable, although I am sure you have already noticed", Gandalf offered Thranduil an all knowing look that the high Elf returned with a raised brow of pride.

He reached out and touched the length of the sword, until he ended up moving his finger around the eye of the beautiful dragon on the hilt, "He used one of the white gems…" the elven King noted with a lofty brow.

Gandalf checked Lady Galadriel who was looking at them with a soft smile of benevolence, "His way of telling you that he is ready to do the exchange. Why else would he return to you one of the gems, in a sword that took him two weeks to forge himself, while still recovering from an almost mortal wound?"

"Don't over dramatise things," Thranduil averted his eyes from the magnificent sword, "although I must admit that his skill is equal to our elven masters".

"If not greater", Galadriel said softly and smiled at Gandalf.

Thranduil's brow rose, "I would have expected you my lady to be a little more reserved towards these stunted people".

"And I would have expected you to be wiser than to repeat the phrase that caused the rivalry between our species in the first place", she turned her attention to the sword, "this is a beautiful work of craftsmanship than many masters of our kin would have envied".

Thranduil huffed, "I cannot deny that it is a sword that I wouldn't have minded wielding against my enemies, but going as far as to placing a dwarven skill above our own…"

"Would have been as graceful in it's honesty as is your heart", Galadriel run her fingers on the dwarven runes on the blade and then caressed the intricate dragon.

Thranduil remained silent.

"You've given him an amazing horse to honour the death of his nephew…why act so above it all now that he offers you something much more valuable?" Bilbo scratched his head, "I cannot get my head around you or him sometimes".

"I will not return to his golden halls to bow to him, in order to be ridiculed for a second time. If he wants a trade he will come to me", Thranduil said with calm derision.

Gandalf leaned on his staff and exhaled, "impossible. When I don't have Thorin's stubbornness to deal with, I have yours".

"You are both beyond words. You give each other presents and don't make any attempts to back off as to the place of meeting", Bilbo threw his hands in the air.

"He is not Thror…" Gandalf let that float in the air.

"Isn't he of the same blood perchance? What makes you think that I should trust him?" Thranduil turned to them.

"He proved his resilience against the rivers of gold under his feet. If that's not proof enough I don't know what is. Look at his gift, quiet down the voices of the past and tell me that Thror ever made you a similar offer. A sword of such value, forged by himself", Gandalf wised.

Thranduil's face closed up and he started climbing the steps to his throne, "I will consider everything Mithrandir. I have ample time in my hands to do so. It's the King under the Mountain who doesn't have time. As I am being informed the families have already answered to his call. Yet, he doesn't have the King's gem".

Gandalf sighed deeply and closed his eyes, "Indeed".

"Why can't you let go of your egotism for one moment…" Bilbo threw his hands in the air, "Oh, don't look at me like that all of you. Before the battle you were on each other's throats over some very expensive jewellery. During the war you bled for each other and now you return to your previous rancour over the same bunch of jewellery. For someone several thousands years of age I would have thought you much wiser!" Bilbo exhaled.

Galadriel watched amused at the courageous hobbit and smiled at Thranduil knowingly.

"I mean alright, I can find Thorin's immaturity partly excused. He is two hundred years old. That probably amounts to him being a toddler in your eyes. So he's got his excuse for being childish…what's your excuse?" Bilbo pointed at the haughty elven King who didn't seem ruffled.

"His grandfather not only stole what belonged to me, but also ridiculed me", Thranduil raised his brow.

"He's not his grandfather", Gandalf repeated patiently.

"That remains yet to be seen", the elven King relaxed back calmly.

Gandalf sighed patiently, "What about the Black Blade. Will you fight your enemies with a dwarven blade, as King Oakenshield fights with an elven one? Will you both drop all the pretence and finally swear allegiance to each other and make the lives of the rest of Middle-Earth a tiny bit easier?"

Thranduil's well formed lips curled up in a sly smile, "We shall see, patience Mithrandir".

"We don't have time to see! He needs the Arkenstone!" Gandalf cried and pointed back.

"Then he should come here and bow before me in order to get it, like I did with his grandfather", Thranduil struck his hand on the arm of his throne and his eyes blazed under his thick eyebrows.

"You don't want the Gems of your wife then?" Gandalf crossed his arms calmly above his staff.

Thranduil's expression flattered for a brief moment.

"You see he does have a hold on you with those gems. Maybe it would be wiser to think faster. If he doesn't get the Arkenstone in time I rather doubt he will make a similar offer for the White Gems later on".

"Aha!" Bilbo raised his finger and all eyes fell on him again, "Had this been a chess game you would both be stuck for moves".

Thranduil looked elegantly at his wooden staff for several moments before turning his eyes at Lady Galadriel, "You've seen into his mind my Lady. What do you foresee in him?"

"Honour, pride, haughtiness and honesty. A troubled heart and mind, but I saw no deceit or lies. He may be enfolded in his own personal hell, but King Oakenshield is an honourable man" Galadriel smiled.

Thranduil's eyes fell thoughtfully in his hands and after several agonising moment he nodded. "The sword remains".

Bilbo's face opened up in a wide smile, "Thank the skies!"

The elven King looked coldly at him, "I will give you an answer when I am ready. In the meantime you shall remain here".

Gandalf winced and looked at lady Galadriel, "very well".

"Upon your return, inform the Mountain King that the enchanted lake is for the pleasure of the elves only and that he should find another place to take his romantic interests from now on or he shall be arrested", the elven King said casually.

"His what?" Bilbo's eyes budged.

Thranduil's lips curled up derisively as Gandalf's eyes thinned suspiciously.

_._

A few hours later and after a quiet dinner offered by the elven King, Bilbo had retired to a room they offered him and Gandalf found himself walking upon the long twisting corridors of Thranduil's kingdom next to lady Galadriel.

"Your fear the allegiance of Thorin to Thranduil", she whispered.

"And visa versa. Don't you my lady?" Gandalf looked at her worried.

"I believe that the North is secure enough for now Mithrandir, although the throne of Erebor is not as secure under Oakenshield as we may have originally thought".

"You fear he might succumb to the sickness?"

"No, there are greater concerns", she said calmly.

"Like what my lady?"

"His throne is becoming unstable from an internal turmoil that does not have to do with the gold, but with his past and his family. Something is coming alive that might take the throne right from under him and is far more dangerous than the gold sickness. The allegiance of the seven families to him is very thinly balanced yet….nay improbable if he continues down the path he has chosen. I've seen into his mind and he is burdened beyond words".

"The Arkenstone…"

"Is one reason of concern. The storm in his heart is the biggest. He will need advice soon and his court will need careful handling, but you must not intervene. There is rivalry towards you and your advice will fall into the void. Better observe from a distance".

"He told me that he is riddled with nightmares. Especially after you brought him back", Gandalf winced.

"My touch had little to do with the turbulence in his heart. Grim family secrets are tormenting him. He will try to rebel against the mistakes of his past, and that might cost him dearly".

"You are scaring me my lady".

"These are dark times for all of us…not just for you or him, my friend", she offered him her hand.

He took it gently and kissed it, "I know"

"Tell Radagast to look out for him in Dol Guldur. I fear he might try to visit the place his father died. The Necromancer has retreated in the east, but the witch-king of Angmar remains there. The necromancer needs to reclaim Erebor and wipe out Durin's line and he will use the Black Riders if given the chance. His army is tearing down villages all over Ered Mithrin. The brown lands are crawling with orcs and the Ash Mountains hide impending doom behind them, the darkness of which even my vision cannot penetrate".

"Do you wish me to go down to Ithilien?"

"Yes".

"very well my lady", Gandalf bowed.

"and there is a girl…", Galadriel's eyes filled with sweet warmth.

Gandalf raised his brow, "a girl?"

"Old soul trapped in a young body, an innocent heart full of devotion…be very vigilant of her", Galadriel warned.

Gandalf frowned, "How will I know whom you are referring to my lady?"

She smiled knowingly at him, "You have your eyes already on her…as does the King. Be mindful Mithrandir…for things won't be easy".

His brow clouded.

* * *

"Come in", his heavy eyes fell on her. She entered and placed the tray with the tea at his office. Then she turned intending to leave them, but his deep voice stopped her, "I will need your services Eilin. Remain".

"Of course my Lord", she bowed and backed away close to the door discreetly.

"So what are we going to do about Servin? He is trying to cause an uprising with the missing gem", Balin crossed his arms.

"It feels almost as if he was sent here to cause a problem. Why did the Blacklocks choose to send over seven hundred men, if their commander is going to be so negative?" Fili looked at his uncle angrily.

"And seven hundred of the best soldiers I have seen in a long time. They are special forces these bastards, like the ones I brought to your defence. These aren't simple soldiers. Each and everyone can command an army of his own", Dain shook his head.

"What about the Stonefoots?" Thorin leaned back to his chair.

"They don't seem to be taking Servin very seriously. Bjarki is keeping them in check", Fili said.

"That doesn't mean much. He is targeting your ability to rule Thorin. He is trying to spread doubt, even though everyone knows that you have only recently awoke from the dead. Anyone with half a mind knows that getting back the arkenstone needs time", Balin raised his brow.

"I don't know what the deal with him is," Dain pursed his lips.

"Gandalf and Bilbo haven't returned yet either. Why?" Fili asked.

"Roac said they went into Mirkwood, but never came out. That means that Thranduil has kept them", Thorin said quietly.

"What is that elvish devil trying to do? Make us lose time?" Dain brought his hand down on Thorin's desk so hard that Eilin jerked.

Thorin crossed his hands under his chin thoughtfully, while the men around him began arguing about Thranduil and Servin. He knew very well what Siv's brother was trying to do and it had been simply a matter of time before Servin showed his true intentions, "There is no point duelling in what we cannot change at this moment", he said solemnly.

"What about the doubt that is being spread against you? The arkenstone would put everything to rest", Fili noted.

"And so it shall, but until we have some news from Bilbo and Gandalf we cannot do anything more", Thorin shook his head dismissively.

"Maybe you should address the Blacklock envoys and set the minds to rest?" Balin offered.

"I've ruled for over a hundred years and commanded for many more. Words befall weak in front of deeds. If my actions all these years were not enough to set their minds at ease, my words won't be either", Thorin said calmly.

"We got word that the Firebeards and the Broadbeams are already on their way to Erebor, along with about two thousand soldiers. They are going to come face to face with the missing arkenstone and the turmoil that Servin is causing. You might not feel the need to speak to them, but you need to do something about all this", Balin wised.

"I will take care of Servin", Thorin frowned and brought forth some papers that he had been studying, "Now allow me some peace. You have been bothering my mind with him since I woke up".

Balin exhaled and crossed his arms, "Very well laddie".

"Dain you are going to ready the army to take in the new additions that are coming", Thorin looked at him briefly.

"Very well", Dain raised his brow proudly.

"Balin, become the tail on the Blacklocks that worry you so much, and inform me if anything changes", he turned at his old advisor.

Balin shook his head, "with pleasure".

"Son", he turned at Fili, "I will need your signature here, here and here", Thorin pointed at the scrolls and that is when the door knocked.

"Open it", he signaled to Eilin.

"Called me?" Gloin entered.

Thorin nodded, "Yes, come in", then he turned to Fili, "Your signature is equivalent to mine now concerning the four large residential caverns of Erebor. You will command their elected representatives. You are also taking over the mining tunnels, the furnaces, the water works, along with the command of the army division that will become Erebor's royal guard. You sort this out with your uncle Dain. Choose whom to place in those guards yourself, I trust you".

Fili bowed his head, "thank you uncle. I will not let you down".

"I know you won't. Now Gloin, come here", he said and the red headed dwarf approached, "Fili's signature is under mine concerning the treasury. He can control every decision for it, when I am absent". He gave him the official scroll.

Gloin winced and took it reluctantly, "are you sure?"

Fili looked at him annoyed, but Thorin spoke over then, "More than."

Gloin nodded hesitantly, "Very well men Uzbad".

Thorin looked around him, "Well? You all have your orders, what are you waiting for? A special invitation?"

The got suddenly animated and went to the door, apart from Balin who leaned over close to his ear, "I am not leaving unless you tell me what's going on with Servin. Is this all because of Siv?"

"I don't know, but that is what I fear", Thorin looked up grimly.

"You need to address this, before he gets out of hand", Balin raised his brows.

"I will Balin, I've said so enough times already. Now may I be allowed a moment of privacy?" Thorin raised his brow.

Balin looked at Eilin above his shoulder, "Privacy with Eilin worries me".

Thorin titled his head, "and your interventions annoy me".

Balin inhaled deeply and gave him a curt nod, "be careful what you do and how openly you do it son. We have enough in our hands with the missing gem and with Servin. We don't want more trouble".

"Balin, for Mahal's holy beard, get your grumpiness out of my office. Don't act like I am a kid that doesn't know how to rule a kingdom", Thorin snapped angrily.

"Then don't act like a teenager in heat. Think before you act", Balin spat at him.

"You think I am not?" Thorin leaned back and looked at him coldly.

Balin pulled back and crossed his arms, "I don't know. I cannot tell anymore. Everything is so unravelled that I don't know if you are letting them become so on purpose, or if you have some plan up your sleeve about all of it".

"Where has your trust gone?" Thorin's eyes thinned on him.

Balin averted his eyes and rubbed his forehead exhausted, "I am sorry laddie, but I constantly worry about you. You are right. You've never let us down all these years. I'd do well to remind myself of that and give you the trust you deserve".

Thorin tilted his head, "thank you".

Balin bowed, "Very well, I should be going then, right?" he seemed hesitant.

"You are late already", Thorin raised his brow and waited until Balin decided that he couldn't do much of anything else and walked to the door. He gave one worried look at Eilin's back before finally closing the door.

The silence in the room fell heavy when they were alone and she felt jittering with bubbly nervousness. She bit her lower lip and was unable to stop the smile that came to her mouth. Then she moved her waist around playfully even though she knew she had his solemn attention already, "Hi", she whispered.

He pushed back his chair and stood up, "Hi".

She lifted her eyes just enough to see him rounding his elaborate desk and felt all the cells in her body magnetising to his direction, "My King, do you think it's wise to keep me here in the midst of daylight, with everyone knocking?" she said.

"Lock the door behind you", he said and came up in front of her.

Her eyes fell to his golden belt that had precious gems on it and then she looked up at his maroon tunic with the golden embroidery of hexagonal patterns around the neck and sleeves. He was certainly dressed like a king today. She felt her breath catching at his order and backed up to the door, searching blindingly for the lock. He came a step closer and their bodies almost touched. She tried to turn the key to the correct direction, but the closer he came, the more difficult it was for her to get a grip on how to work her hands, "Shit!"

A lopsided smile formed on his lips and he reached behind her back to the lock, "don't swear".

"I am sorry", she swallowed a suddenly dry throat.

At the same moment his body pushed her firmly against the door and she exhaled sharply, "and turn it to the right", he whispered close to her mouth and her stomach twisted deliciously around itself.

"Okay", she muttered, and she felt his big hand wrapping around hers and turning the lock, which fell with a loud click. A deep sigh of relief left her mouth.

"Now we won't be bothered", one hand cupped her waist and drew her in and the other caressed the side of her mouth.

"Missed you like crazy", she whispered and grabbed the golden pattern of his tunic in her tight fists, pulling him to her. His long wavy hair enwrapped her face and his scent instantly sparked her up.

"Me too", he agreed and gave her a soft kiss that lingered.

She opened her mouth to deepen the kiss, but he pulled back then and smiled down at her.

"What are you doing?" she frowned in confusion.

"I am teaching you patience", he said and pulled back away from her.

"Oh, not again Thorin!" she whimpered.

"What's all this childish whining for? am I not pleasing you every night perchance?" he raised his brow.

Her face mellowed and her cheeks flushed red, "Of course you are".

"Then this afternoon you will exercise patience", he raised his brow.

"Fine..." she spat eager to make him fire her up even though his intentions were clearly different today.

Still the memories of the three previous nights were vividly tormenting her. The first few words after embracing him and asking him about his day, were met with a few vague answers as his fingers moulded her original excitement into slowly growing need, that ended up with her forgetting all about his day and hers and praying to the skies, but above all to him to be allowed to reach the explosions he so easily triggered in her each and every time.

They ended up with her being bulldozed against the wall, or shoved into a couch with her legs spread out to him and his fingers filling her and caressing her to a point were she couldn't even breathe. She would have never thought her body able to reach such levels of pleasure and yet there she was night after night relishing on the way he was working her up effortlessly until she careered off the edge of the world and into white-hot pleasure.

Her original embarrassment was answered by the firm exploration of a pair of the softest, but also most insistent-in-detail fingers she had ever seen. His creative hands were not only able to forge swords of intricate designs and create angelic music, but also run all over her body in magical roads that made her close her eyes and forget all her embarrassments and illogical fears. The dominating undertone that his touch held most of the times, made her give up all control to him, something he kept up admirably

When his mouth, hands and body took over, her mind reached only one point of concentration. How good it felt for his fingers to be spreading her apart, to lubricate her skin with her want and to be filling her to a point were her body was arching off the bed. His promising words of more in the midst of her heat, made the emptiness inside become painful and soon his fingers were not enough to fill her up. So when the want became almost insane, she reached down for him and was met by something that stole her breath and made her eyes fly open. Apparently this amazing dwarf-lord was not only substantial in height and muscle built, but also in his arousal. Something that left her with several beads of apprehensive sweat on her cleavage that he licked away without sharing her emotions, as she kept repeating internally, "What am I getting myself into?"

He allowed her to touch him only above his clothing and even though fear twisted her stomach, her internal muscles clenched at the thought of his impressive erection replacing his fingers and filling her emptiness to the brim. As for him, he squeezed his eyes shut against the need to offer her exactly what she wanted and feared at the same time, but in the end he always pushed her hands away with mind blowing self control. What he was doing, may have been his way of showing her respect, but for her it was ultimate frustration and despair that he denied her the satisfaction of handling his weighty arousal and maybe trying to get used to the idea of having him inside her.

The word propriety rolled off his tongue and onto her burning skin, time and time again. Making her groan from annoyance and pleasure at the same time. The need to touch him and feel him only grew stronger with each encounter, almost driving her madly angry at him each time he refused. She didn't relent from what she sought more though. She returned again down there, searching him above the clothing...and he always left her empty and angry at him, if only for a few moments before her new release.

He huffed annoyed as these thoughts served only to make her stomach burst with butterflies.

"Are you agreeing to patience? What happened? Did the world turn upside down?", he smirked at her.

"I am agreeing, because you are insisting. Nevertheless you know I want more from you", she raised her eyes at him and their honesty peeled his outer layer easily.

He leaned down and gave her a gentle peck before pulling back, "me too, but not today".

"When then?" she cringed, but he didn't allow her the time to go down that road again.

"Hush your little mouth", he said and clasped her hand. He pulled her away from the door and she look at him confused.

"What are we doing?" she said when he brought her to the easy chair in front of the fireplace. He pulled a small stool and pointed at it.

"Please sit", he said and led her there himself.

She smirked and rounded the stool before sitting on it.

He pulled her hand up and kissed the back of it gently enough to raised the hairs on her forearm. Then he took his place behind her on the easy chair. She tried to turn around to see him, but he grabbed her by the shoulders, keeping her back at him, "No, don't turn around".

"What are you doing Thorin?" she said and bit her lower lip in sudden anticipation.

"I am courting you, my lady", he whispered and gave her a brush from the side table.

She took it and looked at it dumbfounded for several moments. It felt as if his hand reached inside her chest and tweaked her heart with these words. Her cheeks flushed crimson and she lowered her eyes to her hands. "You know I don't require such a thing from you, right?".

"That doesn't mean I am not going to give it. Your words that first night at the river cannot be forgotten easily", he said softly and his hands came around to unbutton her vest.

She straightened her body to allow him freedom of movement and scooted back to him, along with the stool, "I still believe them. I am no dam and don't require to be treated as one".

He opened up her vest and drew it down from her shoulders and arms, "Let's change your mind then. I want to treat you as one, and you are not only going to let me. You are also going to enjoy it thoroughly."

She huffed and closed her eyes, "That sounds like a command".

"It was supposed to sound enticing", he smiled.

"Mmmm, you could have done better with words even though your hands feel tremendously enticing".

"That's good enough for me", he said. Then his hands came in front again. One began undoing the strings of her tunic and the other caressed gently her collarbone.

"Is undressing me part of dwarven courting?" she asked and bit her lower lip feeling warmth spreading in her lower stomach.

"You have taken all the first steps towards me physically already...and I have messed up my part seriously in between because you are driving me crazy most of the times. Bringing your tunic down your shoulders is the least of our problems", he pursed his lips testily.

"Not crazy enough to make you lose control though", she tried to look above her shoulder, but he pushed her cheek gently away.

He snorted, "so that is your ultimate purpose", his fingers opened up her tunic and pushed it off her shoulders, but as she was expecting him to bring it under her breasts, he stopped.

She exhaled through her nose bothered, "If I admit that it is, will you be mad?"

"No, I am just annoyed that we overlooked all propriety in order to roll in the mud like animals", he frowned and took the brush from her hand.

She pressed her lips, "You are regretting what we did?"

"I am regretting not giving you the attention you deserved before, but I'd never take back what we did, or the fact that I want to do much more to you", he said with a thoughtful frown and began brushing through her hair with a gentleness she wouldn't have expected from such rough hands.

"That at least was partly reassuring", she felt her eyes drooping.

"Can I reassure you of my intentions a bit more?" he whispered and as the brush moved through her long hair near her waist, his mouth planted a soft kiss where shoulder met neck and her body exploded with welcoming goosebumps.

"please do", she muttered and allowed herself to relax under his soft touch.

He chuckled and gave another kiss to her temple. His hands run through the tangled curls of her hair with gentleness incomparable. He started from her waist and worked his way up slowly, taking care not to hurt her at all. He brushed gently and thoroughly for a long time and their voices fell silent. Only her breath was heard that became heavier with each careful handling from him. When the brush was able to run through her shiny red hair from the top of her head down to her waist, he placed the it aside and began running his long fingers through them. Making her close her eyes and feel her shoulders deflating as all the nervousness and anxiety slowly left her body. Then his fingers touched the base of her head and began a soothing massage that made her open her mouth and drop her head back in total abandonment. His fingers ran through her whole head tormentingly slow and when they ended up on the top of her forehead, she was baffled as hell. She didn't know if her body wanted to sleep, or make love to him till he passed out. Probably both, from the way she was feeling at that moment. A small laugh left her half open lips and then her brows frowned, "Thorin I don't know what you are doing to me, but it's confusing me deeply".

His lips turned into a lopsided smile, "why?"

"it's both arousing and relaxing me. You are keeping me in limbo between those two states".

"Very good", he said and planted a butterfly kiss on her cheek that under her sated state felt more arousing than any firm kiss would have. His hand drew her considerable amount of hair above her shoulder and his mouth planted a few more wet kisses on her collarbone and neck. When he saw her chest heaving and her nails digging on the rough leather of her pants, he pulled back knowing that she was tilting towards arousal a bit too much. He replaced his mouth with his palms and began a massage that send her off to heaven instantly. As his fingers kneaded all the muscles of her shoulders, the previous galloping arousal backed away to give place to a soothing relaxation. Nevertheless the heat still lingered at the pit of her stomach. It was enough to keep her mind focused on what he was doing to her, but not enough to make her demand more from him. He knew exactly how to steady her between these states, balancing her precariously between a rock and a hard place, until she was nothing more than pliable clay under his hands. His fingers, so used to fine motor control and finesse, from his years of forging rough metal into beautiful works of art were able to send her mind reeling into half awake dreams. His patience, used so amply into manoeuvring minutely the most delicate metal carvings had managed to loosen up not only the most prominent muscle groups but every single small nerve in her upper body also, until she was simply unable to open up her eyes. Her hands rolled off her lap and hang by her side useless and heavy.

When his magical palms left her warm and red shoulders, she winced, "Don't stop please".

He chuckled and placed a soft kiss under her earlobe. His hands moved with unbelievable care down her arms and then he began to hum a very well known tune. His deeply rich voice enchanted the last threads of logic out of her poor mind until she was reduced into nothing more than a bundle of soothed nerves inside a mind that lifted all the flags of surrender.

"You are not really using that trick on me, are you? That is so bloody unfair". An endearing smile came onto her cherry lips,

His palm cupped her neck firmly enough to let her know that he was controlling the game, but softly enough not to worry her. Then his lips ran wet and hot at the side of her neck along with his tongue, making her body tense, as much as her relaxed state allowed her, "You've used your voice to bewitch me one too many times, why shouldn't I do the same?"

"I cannot fight against that argument", she winced defeated and when he began singing properly her skin prickled as waves of shivers run through her.

_"Far over the misty mountains cold_

_To dungeons deep and caverns old_

_We must away ere break of day_

_To seek the pale enchanted gold._

_The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,_

_While hammers fell like ringing bells_

_In places deep, where dark things sleep,_

_In hollow halls beneath the fells._

_For ancient king and elvish lord_

_There many a gleaming golden hoard_

_They shaped and wrought, and light they caught_

_To hide in gems on hilt of sword._

_On silver necklaces they strung_

_The flowering stars, on crowns they hung_

_The dragon-fire, in twisted wire_

_They meshed the light of moon and sun._

_Far over the misty mountains cold_

_To dungeons deep and caverns old_

_We must away, ere break of day,_

_To claim our long-forgotten gold."_

She rolled her head on his shoulder until her forehead was pressed against the warmth of his neck and concentrated on his velvety voice. When his arms came around her stomach, she tensed momentarily with anticipation, wanting him to sail north and touch her half exposed breasts, but he didn't. He wrapped them around her body and secured her on him firmly. The sense of safety and comfort that she felt was overwhelming enough to wave off the rude thoughts from her mind. Her hands came above his muscular forearms and clasped them affectionately.

" _Goblets they carved there for themselves_

_And harps of gold; where no man delves_

_There lay they long, and many a song_

_Was sung unheard by men or elves._

_The pines were roaring on the height,_

_The winds were moaning in the night,_

_The fire was red, it flaming spread;_

_The trees like torches blazed with light._ "

Then she felt his moving lips on her forehead. His warm breath sending whiffs of Old Toby and mead into her nostrils as he spoke of golden bells. His mouth moved gently down the side of her forehead and lingered on her temple as he painted images about the mountain that smoked beneath the moon. He weaved tunes about the misty mountains, the deep dungeons and the dim caverns, until finally he came to a stop that made her whole body release an invisible lock that had been holding her imprisoned since birth. She felt profoundly moved not only by the gentle way he was treating her and his respectful manners, but also from his singing. Above all, by that. When he finished he tightened his arms around her and buried his face on the crook of her neck closing his eyes. He cradled her silently for a long time, where she didn't want to move in fear of breaking this spell. Their intimacy felt almost sacred to be interrupted by her voice, if she did have a voice left after what he had reduced her to.

"How do you feel men gehyith?*"

She inhaled deeply and exhaled fully and another shiver ran through her, "in heaven", she muttered.

He smiled and planted a delicate kiss on her neck, "Did you enjoy it?"

"So much that I don't ever want to open my eyes for fear that this will prove a dream", she admitted and tightened her hands as much around his forearms as she could.

"It's as much of a dream as it is reality".

She butted her forehead on the side of his head and smiled, "Thorin, is this how you court?"

"Yes", he blushed but she missed it.

"No woman would be able to go through this and deny you", she whispered.

"You are the first one I wanted to court in centuries and if my age is not enough to scare you, I suppose that will be".

She felt her eyes watering, "That doesn't scare me. It makes me feel special".

"But are special. You are a flower of beauty unmatched and of ethics incomparable. Your loyalty is second only to your honesty and your immense courage is carefully harboured under a dainty exterior that could hold its own against much stronger men and women. Open your eyes and see what I have seen in you, please".

Her chest quickly welled and she gritted her teeth, "Don't".

"Don't tell you the truth? You spoke of your friend back at the tavern and how she was worth a better life, but you never spoke with the same words about yourself. Why?"

"Because I probably don't think I am worth it", she said and the first tears released from her closed eyelids.

His arms tightened around her, "I am showing you how much you are worth it, right now. Isn't that enough?".

"It's the most precious feeling anyone has ever given me, but I still feel that all this will burn in fire and ash, leaving behind only victims", she said heavily.

"Life hasn't shown you any kindness and you expect none from it", he spoke softly on her neck and she shivered.

She nodded, "No I don't. All this is just a dream for me. Being treated with such respect. Courted by you. I want to yell it loud enough to tear the vocal cords right out of my throat, but I can't...isn't that right?"

He wanted to promise that he would yell it right next to her. That she wouldn't be alone out there, but fear stopped him dead on his tracks and made his stomach drop in icy water. The last promises he gave destroyed a life. He was not brave enough back then to stand his ground against the overpowering pressures of his bloodline. He chose his family and throne in the stead of his ONE. How could he promise Eilin anything now in the face of all that dishonourable history that towed behind him? It felt as if any promise from him now would only work as a conduit for destruction, "No, not yet", he murmured before kissing a single tear away and tasting its saltiness.

She sniffled and tightened her small palms around his wide forearms.

He shook his head, "Don't cry Eilin...This isn't fleeting for me. It's not only your body that I long for. Holding you in my arms like this, is more than enough for me. I don't know how we will deal with the pressures around me, but I want to claim the whole of you, not a small part".

She sobbed and turned around then unwilling to stop herself. She threw her arms around his neck and cuddled under his chin, "But you are, you are doing exactly that!"

His body engulfed her then and he sat back to the armchair bringing her with him. He cradled her in his arms for a long time. Caressing her long hair, kissing her face and hands. Offering single words of comfort every now and again when she stirred. When she settled back down again, his eyes got lost into the fire. He knew this was not going to be easy, but he was determined to see it to it's end, even though she was still uncertain about his intentions. They remained like that for a long time. He heard her breath becoming steadily heavy and he knew she had fallen asleep. As time rolled by he dozed off also, until a knock on his door alerted them. He dressed her up again and she opened the door for him. It was Fili that wanted to inform him about the residential caverns and the elections that he had announced to the new people. Thorin told her politely that she wouldn't be needed anymore. When she closed the door behind her the feelings of worth, pride but above all serenity were all newfound treasures for her troubled mind.

* * *

Two more days had passed since his affectionate courting in his office, with them meeting secretly at night and her avoiding his gaze when he was once again the King under the Mountain during the day. He didn't deny her satisfaction and she didn't deny him the courting rituals. As a matter of fact, she was starting to like them so much, that she prayed he would use one of his sensual approaches before anything more physical unravelled between them. Still though he never allowed her to touch him and she never felt her void being filled by him...but she waited, patiently for him.

This morning she was fresh from sleep, with her hair up in a loose bun and her apron tucked into her belt. Her cheeks red and her eyes bright. She strolled happily through the huge entrance sending off good mornings to everyone. She reached the new heavy doors and passed under them not without taking time to admire the amazing work of the masons and the woodsmen that had managed to create such intricate carvings on such short notice.

Then her eyes fell on Valdis that was on a carriage sorting out boxes. Eilin exhaled relieved that Lady-Karunn was not there this morning. After her painful attack at the corridor she had been avoiding Lord-Fain's oldest daughter, and Karunn had been doing the same. They criss-crossed a couple of times at the corridors and in the princess room, but their eyes didn't meet. She was honestly confused as to what could have caused this loud mouthed, abusive woman to stop taking a negative interest in her.

When today Princess Dis ordered her to assist Valdis, Eilin accepted with no real fear. Mostly because the attitude of Karunn towards her the last few days was indifferent. It felt as if nothing had taken place between them. The only reminder now was the stub under her hair, which didn't bother her at all. The bruise on her neck was already gone and there was no sign of the scratch on her cheek.

"My Lady, may I be of assistance?" She said and bowed her head slightly.

Valdis looked at her with grave eyes, "didn't know that the King's maiden was allowed to serve lesser women"

Eilin cringed, "I thought you were more gentle than your sister my Lady"

Valdis sighed deeply and averted her eyes, "You are right. I am not my sister, but I am worried about what's been happening with her the last few days. I am sorry I lashed out at you, but truly are you allowed to assist me?"

Eilin smiled timidly, "Princess Dis asked me to come".

Valdis face softened, "in that case can you please get up on the carriage and sort out the boxes? Arrange the heavier ones in the middle and the lighter ones at the back. I will put my sister's clothing packs on the front"

Eilin climbed up and began working immediately, but needed to feed her curiosity, "If you don't mind me asking my Lady, why is Lady-Karunn leaving Erebor?"

Valdis shook her head, "I don't know. She's not telling me. She says there are things that need to be taken care off, past Rhudaur, in the west".

Eilin paused, "She's not returning to the IronHills?"

"No, and my father is livid! She has never travelled anywhere alone and now she suddenly wants to cross half of Middle Earth without telling anyone why. He wanted to send over troops to accompany her, but uncle Dain will give her a small escort. King Oakenshield nobly offered her several weeks of provisions, medication, water and ample clothing. Blessed may he be", Valdis said and her eyes watered.

Eilin frowned. What was Karunn going to do so far away from the IronHills? "Blessed may he be", she whispered and lowered her eyes to the boxes again. Her face closed up suspiciously at this strange occurrence with Karunn. First she was quitting the services of the Princess and then she was taking off to an impromptu trip west of Rivendell, instead of going back home.

Something was not quite right and she couldn't wrap her mind around it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dwarven Song About Old Wealth - Songs and tales from J.R.R. Tolkien's work.
> 
> * My dove


	27. Facing the past

The next day found Thorin standing in front of his throne, with his eyes casting a grim look at his interlocutor. That morning when he woke next to Eilin, he was not well rested nor calm at heart. There were things left unsaid and undone that needed to be taken care off and weighed heavily on his mind. So he tucked her in bed carefully and drew the curtains well in front of his window, hoping that she would sleep to her heart's desire. Up there no one could find and wake her up for work. If anyone did knock on his door, she knew very well not to answer and no one would dare open it up without an invitation. Not even his sister.

Instead of going to his office to start of a typical day, he decided that it was time to face his nightmares and get one of his problems off his back. He ordered Balin to bring Servin to the throne room. Something that made Balin's face lit up in obvious relief. On his way up Dain and Dwalin intercepted and followed him. Dain carrying his own agenda and Dwalin the usual protectiveness towards Thorin. Before he had the time to talk with either of them, Balin arrived with Servin and the conversation that ensued had the makings of a big drama from the first words uttered. After exchanging some good-mornings, Servin inquired about the reason he was called. To which Thorin asked openly what it was that Servin was trying to accomplish by raising questions about the arkenstone. The answer that came from Servin's mouth was coldly honest and very bold considering whom he was addressing.

"The Blacklock delegation are not ready to give you their vote of confidence".

Thorin crossed his arms behind his back and his eyes thinned on Servin.

The imposing dwarf lord twisted his lips, "Unless the Arkenstone sits proudly above your head, my family will not take part in your coronation".

Thorin tilted his head slightly, "Very well".

"That's it?" Servin frowned.

"What more do you need?" Thorin's eyes were as cold as ice.

"You do understand that we came here upon your call to unite under the King's gem and it's not here", Servin pointed above his head.

"That was the hobbit's doing, I've told you before", Dain crossed his arms, "Why do you insist on making such a big deal out of something that will be sorted out soon enough?"

"When will it be sorted? My people need an answer", Servin's eyes were relentless.

"When the answer is ready, you shall have it", Thorin raised his brow.

"Is even anything been done about the arkenstone?!" Servin crossed his arms angrily.

"No, he's been waiting for the bloody Blacklocks to come and drive him into action!" Dain grumbled.

Dwalin raised his brow and crossed his arms also as he stood next to the throne.

"Don't raise your tone to me you pompous fool!" Servin spat.

Dain was in his face within fractions of a second, "Listen you daft troll! The Longbeards and the Stonefoots have already given their pledge to this man, despite the arkenstone. A shiny rock will not change his epic legacy as a fierce warrior and an unparalleled ruler. Now if the Blacklocks have an issue, then maybe you should leave! Who needs you anyway!?" He snapped and then turned to Thorin, "Are you done with him, because I need to talk to you about my niece".

"Of course he is not done with me! I am representing the whole Blacklock family. What do you think I am? A vagabond dwarf that just came in for a couple of drinks? The Broadbeams are marching to Erebor, and the Blacklocks have a very good relationship with them. They will listen to the worries of my family about the arkenstone. Besides even if one family decides to bail out, this coronation will never take place", Servin raised his brow.

Thorin leaned his face on his palm feeling tired to the bones, "Silence both of you".

Dain and Servin cast each other a couple of angry looks before crossing their arms and turning their attention to the King.

"Servin, you are manoeuvring the absence of the arkenstone into a diplomatic game that's not meant for the ears of my cousin and close friend", his eyes fell heavy on Siv's brother.

Servin made to speak, but Thorin's hand stopped him, "Allow me the time to address Dain's worries about his family, and we shall talk more privately".

Servin tilted his head nobly and took a step back, "Certainly".

Then Thorin turned to Dain, "Tell me cousin".

Dain took a few steps forth, "Karunn, why is she leaving?"

"Maybe you should ask her", Thorin pressed his lips.

"Did she do something inappropriate, please tell me. I worry mostly about my brother. She has never travelled outside the Ironhills, and moreover alone". Dain said and approached the throne.

"I've given her escort long before you did, but she denied it. As for what happened, I am not going to be the one to divulge any wrong doings. It's up to her to speak to you or to her father. Let's just say that she needs to adjust her attitude in order to be able to feel welcomed in Erebor", Thorin said calmly.

"And yet you didn't throw her out of the city, did you?" Dain frowned.

"No, but I offered strict advice, which she didn't take well at heart", Thorin raised his brow.

"Stupid girl! Stupid!" Dain snapped and turned around, "I need to inform my brother of what has taken place here and I don't know what to tell him. One of his daughters remains a maid of honour to the princess and the other is running away. I cannot force you to tell me any details, but give me something. Anything, to tell him that will ease his mind".

"Tell him that I value him deeply and that I find his youngest daughter of pristine ethics and an impeccable character, but he could have done a better job with his oldest one. She cannot feel welcomed in this stronghold until she learns how to respect the ones that are sustaining this city by the sweat of their brow. Her pride and arrogance don't belong here. She must learn humility and modesty as they portrait purity of the soul, something that I value deeply. I am very saddened that I had to act against a member of his family, but your niece has taken this choice away from me by her attitude. Will that be enough for Fain?" Thorin said with serene loftiness.

Dain closed his eyes and nodded, "It's more than enough for me. I know Karunn…I know how nasty she can become. I will not even ask who she attacked this time, but she has created havoc one too many times back in the Ironhills. My brother is well aware of her short temper".

Thorin nodded, "I would suggest you speak with her".

Dain pressed his lips and shook his head, "I tried, but she is not speaking".

"There is nothing more that I can do cousin. I am sorry", Thorin said calmly.

"I know", Dain nodded.

"Very well, if this is settled allow me to speak with Servin", Thorin closed his eyes already feeling tired even though the hardest part was yet to come.

Dain bowed, "Certainly" and left with a strong military pace that echoed in the throne room.

Dwalin uncrossed his arms and came closer to Thorin, "Are we picking up this idiocy again?" He asked.

Servin's mouth dropped open, "How can you allow him to speak like that?"

Thorin smirked, "I am not his mother. Besides Dwalin is not the one to stand on etiquette, his brother is. Don't mix them up".

Dwalin raised his brow and smiled smugly.

Servin crossed his arms, "Dwalin's offensive attitude will not stop me. I will raise questions about your rulership not only in my delegation, but also with the Broadbeams".

"That sounds like a threat", Thorin raised his brow thoughtfully.

"We were expecting the arkenstone…and it's not here", Servin pointed above his throne.

"The King that sits below that empty place doesn't matter? Is it the King's gem that will rule you?" Dwalin snapped.

Servin pulled back slightly, "What are you talking about? Of course the King is the most important part of this unity, but the arkenstone…"

Thorin spoke above him, "Is only an excuse".

Servin was taken aback, "what?"

Thorin sighed deeply, "An excuse…we are alone now, we can speak more freely. All this charade is a poor excuse isn't it?"

Servin looked at him long and silence befell amongst them for a few moments that became heavier and heavier with each breath they took.

"It is", Thorin exhaled feeling his heart complaining.

It took Servin several tense moments to allow his eyes to meet Thorin's, "I suppose it is".

"Ever since you arrived, you have been trying to find a way to cause problems. I cannot deny that the loss of the arkenstone weighs heavily upon my heart, especially with the families arriving one after the other, but I haven't been idle. Truth is, I am not obliged to divulge my endeavours about the arkenstone to anyone. Are we clear on that front?" Thorin's eyes fixed on him gravely.

Servin nodded, but his previous self assurance seemed to have evaporated after Thorin decided to face him with such unruffled honesty, "Yes".

"Of course the families decide whom to pledge their allegiance to and that is something I cannot change. As you pointed out correctly, the unity of the seven Kingdoms will not happen if one family pulls out. All that is true and I am here to take on that challenge, but you are not here for this, are you?"

Servin averted his eyes, "No".

"You didn't come here by chance", that was not a question.

"No, I asked to take command of the army that was being send to you", Servin looked up at him with renewed bravery.

Thorin nodded, "Then let us both be brave and set this nightmare to rest".

Servin visibly swallowed and gave him a curt nod, "Let us".

"Speak freely in front of Dwalin. He's much more than my lieutenant. He is like a brother to me".

Servin looked at Dwalin who puffed up in pride, "What I wish to speak off is personal and very painful. Therefore if you are certain that Dwalin can hear words meant only for your ears let him remain".

As apprehension gripped Thorin's guts, he backed up two steps and emptied himself on his throne, "He can". Wasn't it ironic that the first time he ever needed to sit on it, was because he was feeling on the verge of defeat, instead of pride?

Servin nodded and cast his eyes down. The uncertainty, now that they had decided to speak with honesty, was clearly visible in his face. "You know I came here to discuss about my family and your rather unfavourable history with one of them".

"You should have done so from the beginning instead of going around in circles", Thorin's voice deepened.

"That was a mistake, but it took me endless sleepless nights to gather the courage to face you. This isn't easy for me and I dare imagine not easy for you either".

Thorin shook his head, "It's not".

"My King speak from the heart. Did you ever expect to see me again?"

"No…", he didn't feel the need to keep up any pretence. Apparently this meeting's reasons were as wretched as he had been fearing from the first moment.

"The look in your eyes when we first saw each other again, said everything that needed to be said", Servin smiled, but there was an undertone of bitterness in his voice that Thorin felt deep under his skin.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, "I am well aware".

"The understanding was immediate between us Thorin and even though I wanted to face you right at that moment, I kept myself silent. It was not my place to speak in front of your court. Come to think of it, trying to find explanations after so long is probably useless anyway. This conversation will help no one, apart maybe from me. My heart ached to communicate with you from the first moment the ravens of Ravenhill arrived in our stronghold. Why, you may ask, didn't I come earlier to find you in the Blue Mountains…" he let that thought float free.

Thorin's look slowly turned despondent, "I had been expecting you, so why didn't you?"

"I was not ready to face you without retaliating in some brutal manner. Is it unfair to seek answers and repayment now from the legendary Oakenshield? From Durin's heir? When you are one step from reuniting all the dwarven families under one rule?", Servin's words fell heavy and the silence that followed them was only broken by the hammering of the masons that were dangling from long ropes on one of the huge broken statues of his forefathers.

Thorin felt sweat breaking on his forehead, "It is fair and long due".

"There are things left unsaid between us that haunt me. Answers that need to be given even after so long to a brother who adored his sister", Servin said with eyes of fire that seared through Thorin's steely exterior like butter.

"I understand", Thorin's voice was barely heard.

"I could have avoided this trip Thorin. There were other commanders that could have taken my place", Servin looked up at him.

"You did well by coming here yourself", Thorin said quietly.

Dwalin came next to the throne and offered them a guarded look.

"You know what I longed to see most from you?", Servin's eyes darkened.

Thorin's face paled.

"Your face…your eyes…when I spoke about my sister. I wanted to see your face when I spoke to you about her!" Servin voice rose.

Thorin didn't dare breathe.

"You know how many times I yearned to storm the Blue Mountains and ask Durin's heir to come out and fight me after she died? Hundreds if not thousands, but I never did…She wouldn't have wanted me to do such a thing". Servin's eyes pierced him.

Thorin was speechless, nay a step from death as Servin's words tore open all the half closed wounds in his heart.

Dwalin felt his turmoil and tried to intervene "Why in the name of Mahal are you digging up this hell for him now!?" his voice thundered, making the workers look up in fear.

"Because I was torn to threads by her death a hundred and fifty years ago and only now I feel partly secure that I can listen to his side of the story before raising my sword against him", Servin said and then turned his eyes at a pale Thorin, "because only now I can face you and trust myself not to kill you instantly. Now I can ask what happened that dreadful day, all the days before and what you had to do with her death, without wishing to see your blood at the end of my sword".

"Thorin had nothing to do with her death! I was there when we found her and brought her in for burial. It was a bloody accident!" Dwalin cried and made to attack Servin, but Thorin's heavy hand stopped him.

"No…" his voice was deep and unused.

"You have a sister Thorin. What would you do if someone debauched her, swore marriage to her and then abandoned her. Tell me if someone had treated Dis like that, what would you have done?" Servin's eyes filled with tears.

"Killed them…I would have killed them", Thorin said expressionless. His face looked as if he was seeing the very ghost of Siv speaking to him from the grave.

"My sister told me everything. Her last crow informed me of your denial to the engagement and that they were on their way home. You may have not killed her with a sword, but you killed her by your refusal. If she hadn't left Erebor, she would probably still be alive", Servin continued relentless.

"So you know the truth already", Thorin's mouth spilled numbly.

Servin smiled bitterly, "I wanted to hear it from you and I wanted to remind you of her!"

Thorin swallowed heavily, "Have I ever dared to forget her perchance?"

"He's never stopped punishing himself for what happened. I won't allow you to punish him more…by heavens this stops now!" Dwalin made another move towards Servin who thoroughly ignored him.

Thorin's hand tighten around Dwalin's, keeping him in place.

"Your eyes showed me everything I needed to know immediately. They showed me how truthful the words of my sister had been. Why did you betray her Thorin? I know how honourable your are. Why did you treat my sister like that….what in the name of Mahal happened?" Servin took a step forth demandingly.

His eyes overflowed with tears he was unable to stop and he released Dwalin's forearm, "even after so many centuries you deserve an answer from me this time, but first you must follow me", he said and pushed himself up with difficulty.

"Where to?" Servin frowned.

"To her grave. Only there will I be able to say everything that my heart had kept under locks for more than my skin was ever able to bear. Now that answers are being demanded out of me, I long to get everything off my chest. I suffered too long for this, I won't lie about a single thing. You deserve the truth", he said and bypassed Servin with a quiet tempo that didn't betray the wild beating of his heart.

"Thorin no…don't do this!" Dwalin run up to him.

"Remain here", he said without giving him a look.

"I will come with you…" Dwalin's voice dropped.

Thorin stopped and placed his palm on his friend's chest stopping his advance, "remain here. This is something that should have happened long ago. I need to do it alone".

Dwalin's eyes filled with tears, "no…you don't. Haven't you suffered enough for this?"

"She demands answers from her grave and I will give them to her, through her brother. I should have told her the truth sooner Dwalin. Maybe then all this would have been avoided", his voice was deep and his face though pale, was decisive.

Dwalin pulled back and looked at him in apprehension until Thorin smiled sadly and turned around.

* * *

Their ride away from Erebor was coated in apprehensive silence. One man was thinking how to open up about secrets that he had kept under locks forever, and the other was afraid of what he was going to hear. They pressed on until they reached Erebor's burial grounds and then Thorin led Servin to his sister's grave quietly. He crossed his arms and remained a few steps behind respectfully as Servin took his time to greet his sister again and pray at her feet. Thorin kept his eyelids heavily shut and felt like a hand was squeezing painfully around his throat making it difficult for him to breathe. The last thing he ever wanted was to face Siv's brother. Not because he was afraid of a confrontation, but because he didn't want to stain her memory. Standing there under the heavy snowfall he wondered how he could answer all the questions that would come from her honourable brother. How would her spirit feel if she knew what he was about to do? When Servin turned around Thorin didn't see him, but when his voice spoke, Thorin's body shuddered so hard that his teeth gritted tightly behind his thin lips.

"How did she die?" His voice was hushed.

Thorin opened his eyes with difficulty, "It was an accident".

"I've heard, but I want to know how you found her. Everything. Tell me everything", Servin's eyes were demanding.

"The wheel of their carriage broke upon a slippery turn south of Ravenhill. Ground was frozen and guards that found them said that several smaller trees and bushes had been torn apart, which meant the carriage had considerable speed", Thorin looked down at him as if waiting for confirmation to continue.

Servin nodded and his hands became tight fists.

"You father was impaled by a rogue wood that had broken from the floor of the carriage and Siv was laying some way off with her neck broken", Thorin felt his skin crawling when he remembered the sound her neck made when he picked her up and his jawline tightened painfully.

"Was she bloody?" Servin shuddered visibly and his eyes filled with tears.

"No…" Thorin exhaled and felt his own eyes reciprocating.

"They were getting away from Erebor because of you Thorin", Servin's accusation didn't feel more painful than the guilt that had been riding him hard for over a century.

"I know".

"How did it ever come down to this between you? Tell me. You've loved my sister forever, or so she revealed in her letter before she left Erebor", Servin took a step closer.

"I've loved her from the first moment I saw her. We were a little more than children then, but her beauty blinded every reason out of me", Thorin lowered his eyes.

Servin rubbed his forehead and smiled sadly, "She was very pretty, wasn't she?"

"The beauty of her soul was what captivated me and I swore to myself that if I couldn't get her to love me back, I would remain forever alone. I was only fifteen when I chose my partner for life, without her even knowing. She was completely oblivious that half of Erebor was mooning over her, including me", Thorin felt his lips breaking in a ghostly smile as he looked at his boots.

"Did anybody else know of your decision then?" Servin asked quietly.

"Only Dwalin. My family never learned, apart from my father later on".

Servin's face closed up, "Of course, since you never made your love official. Why? What the hell took hold of the honourable King I know? You are the last person I would have expected to act so low. What you did is so out of character…Why?! Tell me why!?"

Thorin's hand lifted in a gesture of patience and his eyes fell closed once again, "When we became of age, I decided to do something about the fire that was burning my heart. I will never forget the day I found her amidst her friends in some party and approached her. It needed all the courage I could master, to ask her to accompany me to the river. We were good friends by then and it was not something unusual to pass time together, but that day I confessed everything. How I couldn't sleep because her face was waking me up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. How I admired her and how I longed to offer her any romantic token I owned, just for a simple kiss on her lips. I never expected her to reciprocate my approach so willingly and after that day we never separated. I was fifteen when I fell deeply and madly in love with her. Forty five when I took up the courage to claim her and forty eight when I lost her".

"When we all lost her", Servin wiped a stray tear.

Thorin nodded, "During these two and half years I lived in paradise which I didn't want to let out of my hands, because I knew I would never find a similar one. I know you cannot believe me now, but I was going to make your sister the queen of Erebor. I was so certain that I confessed all my plans to her on various occasions, convincing her of my true intentions. Unfortunately I failed her with the worst possible way".

"What happened?" Servin asked coldly.

Thorin raised his eyes on him and swallowed a tight throat, "I was given a choice. Either to help my family overcome difficulties that only later were partly revealed to the common people, or marry. I couldn't have both".

"You are talking about the gold sickness, aren't you? Thror's descent into madness?" Servin's mask of coldness broke ever so slightly.

Thorin nodded heavily, "I couldn't hold back Thror's fading insanity, help my father rule Erebor, and marry at the same time".

"So you chose your family…"

He cut off Servin bitterly, "Over your honourable sister, yes. I chose them instead of her", he repeated so that it could sink in deep for both him and Servin.

Her brother nodded and closed his eyes, "She wrote that you had been secretly engaged for some time".

"It's true".

"She said you made love." Servin's voice fell.

Thorin tightened his teeth and remained silent.

"Did you?!" Servin's jawline tightened.

"Yes" Thorin's eyes opened up, "Yes, we did…I cannot excuse myself to you, nor to myself, but above all to her. I betrayed my promises and she decided to leave me. Which is something that I cannot blame. I asked her to remain and wait for me to a find a way, but she didn't want to wait for me anymore. She had enough".

Servin pulled back and rubbed his forehead, "So you stained her, you promised her and you betrayed her. You couldn't have done things worse".

Thorin inhaled deeply against the need to tell Servin about Thrain's offer to keep her as a secret lover. Something that he denied fervently, which ended up with them breaking apart forever. Staining the memory of Siv was enough for one noon. Staining the memory of his dead father was too much for his skin, "When she stopped breathing, I stopped breathing with her. It still feels like choking and I cannot be free of it," he lifted his eyes up to Servin in despair.

"But is it your deep love for her that makes you feel that, or your guilt?" Servin's words cut deep.

He didn't hesitate, "both".

"Was it fear or guilt that kept you from coming to find me?" Servin asked.

He didn't hesitate again, "I didn't want to stain her memory. She died a clean woman and I swore to keep her memory as such".

Servin's eyes filled with tears that released this time almost violently. He turned around and cupped his mouth, "You debauched her…you stained my beloved sister".

"I did", Thorin came down on one knee and averted his eyes from Siv's brother.

"Yet, there were no children", Servin said in a dark afterthought, his lips trembling under his hand.

"No", Thorin cringed painfully.

"You made half love to her?" Servin's eyes came ablaze.

"No, never. The creator didn't honour us with any children, because he foresaw how dishonourable I was going to be towards her. Mahal protected your sister and punished me. I cannot have children", Thorin's felt his vocal chords almost being torn by these wretched words, even though he was speaking in barely a whisper.

Servin nodded, "Mahal is wise".

Thorin began falling apart at the seams. That part of his life had never been revealed to anyone until now. Not even Dwalin. Two and half years they made love and no children blossomed from their intimacy. At first he thought it was bad luck, but later everything slowly changed. He became steadily certain that he was being punished by the Gods. That they made him infertile, because they saw the difficulty of his future decision and knew he was going to betray her. He never spoke of these deep open wounds that still bled in him, when he understood that he was unable to impregnate the woman he loved. Not even to her. This was a curse that he was to carry to the end of his life and made him embrace his sister's sons like his own from the first moment he laid eyes on them.

Servin's blood boiled under his cold skin for a long time before his eyes settled towards the horizon and he pulled out his sword, "You know I will need reprimanding…"

"Yes", Thorin nodded and closed his eyes.

"This should have happened long before, but I didn't trust myself not to backstab you. At least now I can warn you to pull out your sword and face me!" Servin hissed and wiped away his tears, "I never wanted to do this Thorin. My blood," he punched his heart, "boils for revenge, but my mind screams against this folly. I do not want to fight the Mountain King. I don't want to fight a legend of our people, but you are leaving me no choice! Now that I know the truth I won't be able to rest unless I strike you down".

"I understand", Thorin nodded with his eyes still shut tight.

"She trusted you…"

"Yes".

"She loved you", Servin's voice fell.

"Yes".

"You made love to her", he continued relentless.

"Yes".

"And you left her", he whispered.

Thorin nodded and his jawline tightened, "I did".

"I heard what you said about your family and the gold sickness. I can understand the weight that had befallen your shoulders as a commander, but as a brother I will never give you any excuses for what you did to her", he said with quiet determination.

Thorin remained silent, still on one knee with his eyes closed.

After a long tense moment Servin's hand tightened around the hilt of his heavy weapon, "Pull out your sword".

Thorin's teeth gritted and he quietly did so.

"Stand up and defend yourself against me, as I fight you for the honour of my dead sister!" Servin commanded with a dark voice.

Thorin didn't speak. He laid the sword across his knee and kept hold of it loosely with his hands, "I am ready".

The minutes rolled by painfully slow as Servin was trying to decide the fate of Thorin, and as the later was trying to keep all his self preservation instincts chained in front of Servin's justified wrath. When finally Servin released a feral cry and turned around with his sword raised to strike him down, Thorin didn't pull back or lift his sword to defend himself. He emptied his mind and blackness engulfed him as he felt the air of Servin's sword swishing. The heavy cold steel stopped a few inches from his cheek. Nothing apart from a delicate twitch of his jawline betrayed that he was going through an uncontrollable torrent of violently awoken emotions.

The silence fell on them heavy…almost unearthly as Servin's blade began shaking. Thorin opened up his eyes and looked at Siv's brother with such desolation, that Servin broke down. He cupped his mouth and kneeled down in front of Thorin, throwing his sword away in disgust, "Why didn't you defend yourself?"

"I'd never raise a weapon against you Servin", he said with quiet calmness.

Servin was crying hard, "You loved her…"

"More than life. She was my one…and I gave her away to sustain the lineage of my family. Now you know the truth. I haven't kept a single secret from you. Not even the embarrassment of my infertility. Something that no one else in this world knows now apart from you. Your sister deserved much better than me. I was a lesser man to her and I betrayed her even though it pained me deeply, which I don't expect you to believe. Still her ghost haunts my decisions, cursing me not to find happiness anywhere. If there is a small chance I might find happiness with someone else, she returns with a vengeance to take it away from me. I am deserving of her wrath and of her punishment, so spare me yours. I ask your forgiveness for defiling your sister in ways that my love for her should have forbidden. Yet, I am a lesser man as I said…I fell victim to my weakness and didn't raise up to my responsibilities. I'd never lay a hand on you no matter how many things are at stake from my death. Prince Fili and Lord-Dain are better men than me. Maybe my fate should have been death up at Ravenhill, in order to allow a better man to step on Erebor's throne and for me to return to your sister, as regretful in spirit as I am down here doomed to be forever. All is in your hands", he said and offered him the Orcrist.

Servin groaned in pain and pushed the sword away, "I don't want to fight you. I wanted to know the truth and only that. As for forgiveness, it's not mine to give, but my sister's and I don't know if you will ever have that. Forgive me for raising my sword against you. Sometimes life brings us against hard choices that are so difficult to take. I don't know what I would have done, had I been in your place Thorin. Maybe your decisions were justified, but the brother in me is screaming in pain. Maybe if my sister waited a bit longer things would have been different. Maybe she wouldn't have died in that terrible accident. Maybe she would have been married by now to someone else. I cannot turn back time and I cannot change the course of history, no matter how much I yearn to do it. I will return to Erebor, as half a man as I was before, but with every answer in my hands now. I shall remain commander of the Blacklock army, pledging my allegiance under the King's gem. My personal feud with you has been laid to rest as much as my heart allows me. I deeply value your legacy as a commander and a King, but now I know more about your weaknesses than I would have ever wanted. Maybe they are the ones that make you a mortal like the rest of us and not a demigod, but I cry that these weaknesses lost me my sister", he said and bowed respectfully. His hand extended and clasped Thorin's forearm tightly, "You have my army, you have my loyalty to death, but not my heart. Forgive me for being a lesser man also, but I am as imperfect as you…I have flaws …..and I miss my sister".

"There hasn't been a single day I haven't missed her also," he looked up and his eyes were full of tears.

Servin closed his eyes and squeezed Thorin's forearm, "Am I allowed to return at Erebor as your subject, my King?"

He nodded weakly and closed his eyes feeling one step from falling apart in front of Siv's grave, "yes".

Servin bowed once more respectfully at the kneeling King and left. Thorin remained there with his hands extended upon his sword, down on one knee, listening to the hooves of Servin's horse galloping away from the royal burial grounds. It took him a long time to sheath his sword and walk tiredly away from the haunted forest behind him. He walked pensively, with his head bowed low and his back broken, holding the reigns of his horse that followed him quietly, as if sensing his distress.

When he emptied himself in front of a cypress he felt at the end of his courage, but strangely what happened with Servin had emptied him. He felt weirdly cleansed off a deep dark secret that he had kept from her immediate family for ages. He leaned his back on the tree trunk and buried his face on his palm thinking of everything that had happened with Siv, about his brutal decisions and about his unexpected ability to admit his mistakes and flaws to the only person in Middle Earth that mattered, when all these years he had been unable to admit them to anyone else, but himself.

He remained there trying to calm his drumming heart not aware that forty minutes away from him Servin was alighting by the gates of Erebor only to be detained by a very pissed off looking Dwalin who immediately demanded answers, "Where is the King, for by God if you have harmed him I shall kill you", his words were spat through his teeth.

Servin pulled his arm free and gazed at him dejected, "The King is unharmed".

"Where!?" Dwalin brought his face up to him.

"At the royal burial grounds", Servin said and left wordlessly.

The dawn of understanding on Dwalin's face was broken by Balin's voice that spoke in confusion, "what the hell is going on with Servin?"

Dwalin inhaled sharply, taken aback, "You don't want to know", he said and his eyes searched the grounds quickly.

"Where is Thorin?" Balin frowned.

"You don't want to know either. Where is Eilin?" He asked urgently.

"There, she is assisting with Karunn's carriage", Balin crossed his arms, "what do you want with her?"

"Find me a horse", Dwalin said and marched up to Eilin.

"What do you want with her?" Balin insisted.

"I said find me a bloody horse, before I blow this joint in the air!" Dwalin barked and reached the carriage with heavy steps.

Balin frowned and went to ask one of the soldiers for a horse.

"You, young lady! Off the carriage!" He pointed at her angrily.

Eilin blanched thinking that she did something wrong, "What did I do?" She whispered.

"She's helping me, by the Princess's orders", Valdis intervened politely, no matter this man's brutal ways.

He looked at her and his face softened slightly, "Excuse me my lady, but we have an emergency. Please allow me to borrow her from you. When I return I will help you with the carriage myself".

Valdis looked at him suspiciously for a moment before offering him a grateful smile that warmed his heart for a tiny second, "Of course then. By all means Eilin you are free".

Dwalin bowed at her with more grace than Eilin would have ever expected from him. His face set the moment he looked at her, "Off the carriage! You are coming with me", he said and grabbed her arm, almost emptying her onto the ground.

"Hey, wait…where are we going?" She asked as he grabbed her by the bicep and dragged her behind him.

"I need you", he muttered and reached a horse that Balin was holding.

"Why the hell are you dragging the girl like this around?" Balin asked and Bofur made a sudden appearance.

"Hey hey hey! Keep your hands off of her", Bofur made to get to him, but Dwalin's large hand grabbed him by the lapels and lifted him easily off the ground.

"You both keep clear of my business now, before someone gets hurt. Understand?" His eyes gleamed in anger.

Bofur unhooked his fingers from his tunic and pulled back panting, "what's gotten into you?"

Balin frowned deeply, "brother what the hell are you doing?"

"I am trying to stop things from rolling in too deep" he said and pushed Eilin up, "You go up", he said and then followed her. Before anyone else had time to stop them he kicked the flanks of his horse and set it in a quick gallop.

"Will you tell me where you are taking me?!" She cried and poked his shoulder from behind.

"He needs you!" He cried and Eilin's face paled as she understood immediately that he was talking about Thorin and judging from the way he tore her away from Erebor, things were not good at all.

* * *


	28. Crossroad

He was dozing off, half in, half out of reality with his head resting at the tree bark and his arm leaning on his bend knee. Having mulled over everything that took place until his mind grew weary. The tears that appeared during his standoff with Servin, never got released, not even now that he was alone with his thoughts. His eyes squinted slightly to see the snowy valley beneath him and even though the weather was as moody as him, the brightness of the sun that broke through the heavy clouds, was enough to hurt his head. He locked his eyelids again and remained still for an undetermined amount of time, not planning to return to Erebor soon, until he heard galloping coming from the dirt road. His eyes remained closed almost effortlessly as he was not in the mood to face anyone. The fact that someone took the time to come find him, meant that they would have serious questions he didn't to answer.

The footsteps that walked up to him seemed too airy to belong to a man and her scent announced her identity long before her voice.

"Hey…" she forced a smile on her lips and kneeled in front of him.

"Hey" he whispered feeling totally exhausted.

"Are you okay?" the ball of her forefinger brushed his jawline.

He trembled unwillingly at the sudden touch and opened his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

She pointed back with her head at Dwalin that was waiting patiently upon his horse, "Your best friend brought me over".

His head wiggled imperceptibly, "He shouldn't have".

"He said you needed me", her fingers caught his warrior braid and twisted it between them.

His attempt at a smile ended up in a pained grimace, "This is not a good moment for me Eilin". He was clearly trying to keep his emotions in check.

"I think I have figured that out on my own", she gave him a sad smile.

He huffed and his nose flared.

She looked thoughtfully at his mouth for a few moments, "Hey…handsome…you know I am not going away, right?" she whispered.

His jaw flexed and he kept his eyes religiously away from her.

"Hey….look at me", she pulled him by the warrior braid and forced him to face her.

He did so, but the look in his eyes was so desolate that her heart cried in dismay.

"Will this help maybe?" She released his hair, opened up his legs and burrowed in. Before he had the chance to push her away she leaned her body on him. She drew her legs up, allowing her knees to rest just below his ribcage and then her arms wrapped under his armpits and caught tight hold of his shoulder blades. Her head rested under his chin and she smiled contently. "I cannot be the only in this bloody relationship that will break down and cry all the time, okay? Now it's your turn", she whispered and kissed him once on his exposed neck before settling against him cozily once more.

His arms came around her quickly, deciding for him, long before his mind was able to take control and mess everything with it's overthinking. He drew her in and planted a soft kiss on the top of her head. When his cheek rested exactly where his mouth had kissed a moment ago, his eyelids fluttered closed and the first tears escaped him. The exhalation of relief that relaxed his shoulders was felt by her and she rubbed him firmly, "good, take it all out. I am here…"

Her words made his throat convulse and the flood of tears this time was unstoppable. Then he allowed himself to empty everything onto the small woman that couldn't even close her arms around his back, but whose heart was big enough to embrace him and all his nightmares. Instead of punishing himself with more thoughts about how he was staining Siv's memory by holding this woman in his arms, he allowed himself endless tears of sorrow, but also relief...and they hold tight onto each other.

A fleeting wordless look towards his best friend was enough to display all the gratefulness he felt in his heart, before he closed his eyes again overwhelmed by silent tears that didn't seem to want to stop. As the hooves of Dwalin's horse sounded in the distance he remained around her, feeling his jaw flexing and every muscle on his face contorting in order to keep his emotions on hold, but the more he tried, they more the tears exploded out of him as if they had a mind of their own. He cried for Siv and for Kili equally hard and Eilin remained there…caressing him tenderly, soothing him, kissing his burning cheeks and temples, stippling her fingers through his, until after a long time he started settling down. When he felt his eyes empty and sore, he leaned his head on her shoulder. His warm lips gave her smooth skin a gentle kiss and he remained quiet feeling his head buzzing. His body was in pain from the awkward position he was caught in, as he tried to bend his large frame crookedly around her small one, but he didn't want to move as the consolation she was offering was too precious to lose. He inhaled deeply enough to hurt his lungs and exhaled upon her neck, looking thoughtfully at her prickly skin. When her soft voice spoke, he welcomed it like dry land welcomes the rain.

"Where have you been hiding all this grief?"

His lips turned down, "good question".

"World doesn't expect it's mighty Kings to grieve this hard, right?", the quietness of her voice didn't smooth down the brutality of those words.

"The world is merciless. Mighty Kings are not allowed to be tormented by guilt trips and dishonourable pasts", a dark shadow covered his brow.

"Oh, this is serious", her fingers got buried so gently into the hair of his temple that he closed his eyes against the sensation.

"You can say that".

"Kings can't have the same weaknesses as common people?" she huffed and caressed him so softly that his strong body shook in response.

"No, they can't", he sounded almost relentlessly cold then.

"So, you've been swallowing up all that darkness for long?"

"Longer than I remember", he admitted.

"Did you have anyone to hold you while you emptied yourself?"

He choked on fresh tears and shook his head, "No".

"Dwalin didn't try to do it?" she smiled softly.

He tightened his lock around her and a ghostly smile came on, at her attempted humour, "don't ever change Eilin".

"I won't", she cupped his cheek lovingly, "did you come here in order to empty all that darkness then?"

"No, I came here to face the past".

"Did you?"

His nod was so small, a breath and she would have missed it.

"Feel better for doing so, or worse?"

"I don't know yet", he frowned.

"Being so close to the burial grounds I cannot help but remember your words that night you took me to the enchanted lake. Is this maybe related?" she asked gently, trying to make him open up.

"Yes".

"Okay, whom did you come to visit, man or woman?" She asked quietly.

"Woman"

"Oh, I see…", the slight catch on her voice made him tense, and his grip around her became tighter for fear that she was going to draw back.

Yet, she didn't. Instead she caressed the side of his face until her forefinger outlined his lips, "Did you love her?"

"With every morsel of my poor heart", he talked under his breath.

She pressed her forehead onto him, wanting to assert her presence there, in view of these words. "What happened to her?"

"She died in a terrible accident", his voice turned clinical, but she missed the flare of his nose.

She sighed, "Were you two engaged?"

He stiffened and she felt it, "Yes".

She hesitated then, "You didn't marry?"

"No", his tone became once more hushed.

She resettled herself against him and placed a warm kiss on his brow, "I am sorry".

"It sounds so out of place, doesn't it? Knowing the dwarven customs around love", he made a poor attempt at excusing himself to her.

She laid her cheek on top of his own, "knowing the few things I know about you, there must have been a pretty damned solid reason for you not to".

He closed his eyes in deep relief and enfolded her close to his heart, "Back then I thought so too. Now, I am not so sure".

"You are full of remorse aren't you? That's what all this is…" she said calmly.

"This runs far deeper than remorse. This is about betrayal. It's about not keeping promises", he shook his head trying to deny the honesty of his words in some manner, "you are in for a treat my Eilin, I am not as honourable as you may think. Brace yourself", his voice turned sour.

"You are in no danger of breaking promises you never made to me", she smiled and squeezed him reassuringly.

He frowned deeply disturbed once more by her words, "You have such an all embracing heart and you are so full of understanding. Dwalin shouldn't have brought you here. You don't belong amongst the ghosts of the past, nor should you be an outlet for my frustrations", he sounded defeated.

"On the contrary I am exactly where I should be", she let her words float.…waiting for him to ask.

He exhaled into her curls, "why?"

"You promised to allow me to hold your hand while you grieve. The offer was not made only for your nephew", her mouth formed into a satisfied smile he didn't see.

He inhaled her flowery scent and that discreet undertone of blossoming womanhood that was enough to fog his mind, "I cannot find words enough to thank you men gehyith*. I don't know why the maker deemed me worthy of you, for I am not".

"Was thinking the same thing this morning, when you were tucking me in bed…." She smiled.

"You were unlucky to be thrown into the path of a man that doesn't keep his promises…" his voice turned bitter.

Her brows creased in worry, "Thorin, you fear of breaking your promises and I fear of never living another dream like this one. Can we just let go of our fears and be for once? Don't we both deserve a little bit of happiness, no matter that it might not last forever?"

He relaxed slightly under her considerate words, "You certainly do…"

She frowned and pulled back, "Not you then?"

He swallowed heavily and shook his head, "I don't know about me".

Her palms left his chest and cupped his cheeks, focusing his eyes on hers, "Hey…we both deserve it, okay?"

He pressed his lips thoughtfully.

"Okay?" She repeated and caressed his jawline.

"Okay", he relented under her soft ways and offered her a reserved smile that blossomed her heart.

"Promise?" She bit her lower lip playfully, wanting to alleviate his darkness.

His tensed.

"I am only kidding…" she shook her head, "please get out of this bleak, all consuming mood. I am here".

He pulled her in and planted a firm kiss on the top of her head. His fingers got buried into her hair and twisted around it's long curly strands, waking up her scent, "men gimlelul"**

She smiled widely, "I love it when you speak Khuzdul to me. Makes me feel part of your race, makes me feel special".

"You belong to my race and you are far more special than you think", he whispered as his fingers brushed the base of her nape making goosebumps wake up on her skin. He pushed her back and inspected her hair thoughtfully. Then he picked up a long strand of silky redness.

"What are you doing?" She frowned.

His fingers split her lock in three parts and began braiding her with ease, "Just remaking your braid", his lips turned into a thoughtful lopsided smile.

She blushed, "you don't have to, really".

"I want to", his eyes left her braid and fell on her so intimate that her stomach filled with butterflies. The sudden burst of redness on her cheeks, caused his deep exhalation to form into the first honest smile of today.

Her heart delighted in that precious moment, "You are smiling".

His brows wiggled, "that's what you are doing to me. Dragging me out of darkness. An impossible feat".

She bit the inside of her lip, "I am so glad you feel better".

His eyes returned to her in smiling response for a brief moment before he concentrated on her hair again. She remained still, fully bewitched by his face as he worked on her quietly for several minutes taking care to perfect her braid. When he finished she tried to look down, but his forefinger pulled her up by the chin, "no…don't look yet".

"I don't have any hair beads with me…" she raised her brows.

"We don't need your hair beads", he murmured and closed her eyes with his fingers.

"What are you doing?" she frowned.

"Trust me", his voice was hushed.

He shifted and then something clicked on the end of her hair and she reached up to touch it, but his hand stopped her. His fingers stippled around hers and suddenly those impossibly warm and soft lips nuzzled hers.

"Oh…" she exhaled.

"Hush…" he whispered and kissed her softly…barely touching her. His palms cupped her cheeks keeping her there. His lips moved so slowly that her need to taste him deeper flared up with each passing moment. On the tail end of his third careful kiss, his mouth pressed firmly on hers and her breath came hot and almost desperate. He responded to her need by demanding entrance with a fervour she had not been expecting. When she reciprocated his attentions, he replied with a deep groan that vibrating through her chest and down to her stomach, clenching every single internal muscle she owned and the kiss blossomed into something deep and passionate they were hardly able to control. When they separated, they were fighting for breath and her mind was half buried in clouds of bliss, yet his raging kiss had been unable to make her forget that he had placed something at the end of her warrior braid. As she looked down her heartbeat turned wild in anticipation, not expecting to flatline the moment she realised what he had done.

"Thorin, this is one of yours", her voice was barely audible as her eyes looked up hungrily for his.

His gaze was so intense it send jolts of pleasure to her centre, "I know".

"It has your bloody sigil on it!" She yelled unable to fathom what was on her hair.

He snorted and all his graveness melted away under her beloved awkwardness, "you don't say…"

She raised a finger at him, "wait a bloody minute. This thing has your sigil on it!" She repeated.

"As does your coat, and the trousers you are wearing. Means you belong to me…", he raised his brow.

Her lips twitched coyly, "as if you needed to brand me with your sigil to know that already", her voice had such a playful dose of honesty in it.

He opened up his mouth to reply, but her finger put a stop to it, "Ah, shush! I don't know if I am the first one to tell you, but wearing your sigil as a maiden and having your hair bead have completely different meanings….", she raised her brow and put her finger on her lips thoughtfully, "even though it's the same rune, but who am I to judge dwarven customs".

He chuckled, "I am well aware…"

She pulled back and sat on her knees between his legs, "Are you serious now?"

His hands landed on her thighs and mauled them gently, "I wouldn't have done it, if I was not".

"You just gave me a hair bead…", she tried to make him understand the importance of all this.

He smiled "I know".

"A token of your romantic interest in me…." She waved her arms around casually, "something that is given in an official dwarven courting!"

"As if you needed a hair token to know that I am officially interested in you already", he teased.

"I know you are interested, but not that you were ready to declare it to the rest of the world", her eyes dilated.

He raised his brow, "Well then, apparently I am. Therefore I offered this poor gift to adorn your beauty".

She lifted her long braid and waved it in front of his partly amused face, "Poor? this thing is pure gold!"

"Oh, is it? Didn't see that….I'd better take it back then", he made to touch it, but she pulled back cradling it protectively.

"No, hell you won't! You gave it to me, now you are not taking it back!" She raised her brow at him in menace.

He laughed quietly then, unable to believe how this woman was able to draw him out of such deep darkness with such breathtaking ease. "Fine, then I won't".

"How am I going to be able to explain this to anyone who might notice it then?" She asked and her eyes had a small trace of fear in them.

"You are going to tell them that's a gift from the King", he tilted his head.

"A hair bead is a token of an official romantic interest…not much different from an engagement ring. Thorin, you are making this serious", she frowned.

"Am I?", he said casually.

Her frown deepened, "It's probably going to create hell for me, just so you'd know".

"Anyone who creates hell for you, shall have to answer to me…" his voice dropped and his hands caressed her face tenderly.

"You are declaring that you want me, in front of everyone! I am giving you another small reminder, that will maybe straighten your head", her voice diminished as he pulled her over, making her open her legs to straddle him.

"Stop trying to change my mind", he said quietly and his lips skimmed on the soft skin of her cleavage sending shots of warmth into her.

She exhaled with a smile and wrapped her arms around his neck, "thank you so much", she whispered and kissed the top of his head as he spread gentle kisses all over her collarbones.

"Nothing less than what you deserve", he whispered.

"You do understand that this token is a promise, don't you?"

He nodded and she felt his hot breath on her skin making her hair stand on attention, eagerly awaiting his next move.

"Don't you fear promises?", she raised her brow.

"A lot", he frowned.

"Then, why risk it?" she looked at him searchingly.

"My fear of promises is diminished by the fear of losing you", he admitted quietly.

His words touched her so deeply, that she felt on the verge of tears. She needed to show him how much this meant to her...to give him much more. She choked his name at the side of his long mane as her fingers took a handful and pulled him back, "Look at me".

He frowned.

"You did something remarkable for me. Something unfathomable and I need to reciprocate your gesture", her lips formed the most affectionate smile he had seen and she stood up.

"What are you doing?" He didn't seem pleased by the sudden loss of their intimacy.

She placed her finger at his mouth silencing him. "Nah! You, my handsome warrior will sit right here…not like that…not so stiffly…lean your head back", she said and pushed him. Then she scrutinised him and with a lot of effort tried to put one leg over the other, but it was so heavy it didn't even budge. She looked at him annoyed as he chuckled clearly amused. "Will you help me?" raised her brows annoyed.

He changed his position to accommodate her plans with no grumpiness, "like this?"

"Yes, now the hands, place them behind your head…" she did it for him, "…that looks relaxing…is it?"

"Preferred having you on my lap, to be quite honest", his lips turned down.

"Later…now allow me to roam this field and pick up some…" her brow raised provocatively and his raised also…

"Some, what?" He asked.

"Herbs to make you the best tea you have ever tasted when we return to Erebor", she beamed down to him.

He threw his hands down dejected, "You left my lap for a bloody cup of tea?"

She laughed then and it echoed into the field around them, warming up his heart, "Yes, but also for this…" she raised her brow and got ready.

He frowned confused but only for a moment, because her waist broke elegantly as she twisted around herself in a delicate move as her angelic voice filled the air.

" _There is an inn, a merry old inn_

_beneath an old grey hill,_

_And there they brew a beer so brown_

_That the Man in the Moon himself came down_

_one night to drink his fill."_

Thorin pulled away from the bark and turned around to look at her better, "oh, no, not again", he smiled widely.

She beckoned him with a soft elegant twist of her hand,

" _The ostler has a tipsy cat_

_that plays a five-stringed fiddle;_

_And up and down he runs his bow,_

_Now squeaking high, now purring low,_

_now sawing in the middle."_

She prowled up to him like a cat prancing on a mouse and grabbed his hands, "come on get up!" She whistled.

"You just told me to sit back, relax and enjoy you…" he chastised, but allowed to be hoisted up.

"changed my mind!…" she laughed.

" _The landlord keeps a little dog_

_that is mighty fond of jokes;_

_When there's good cheer among the guests,_

_He cocks an ear at all the jets_

_and laughs until he chokes."_

He laughed quietly as she drew him on the middle of the field, blessedly forgetful that fifteen minutes away lay the nightmare of Siv's grave. So much was Eilin's brightness able to disperse all the black clouds around him, that his mind could think of nothing else. "I think there was a cow somewhere there", he said.

She raised her finger and released his hand as she began dancing merrily around him.

" _They also keep a hornéd cow_

_as proud as any queen;_

_But music turns her head like ale,_

_And makes her wave her tufted tail_

_and dance upon the green."_

She wiggled her bottom stimulating him to grope her, but as he did, she drew quickly away leaving him empty handed with a raised brow that bespoke of his annoyance.

" _So the cat on his fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle,_

_a jig that would wake the dead:_

_He squeaked and sawed and quickened the tune,_

_While the landlord shook the Man in the Moon:_

_"It's after three!" he said."_

She twisted around him, offering him the end of her long tunic to catch it, but always drew back the last moment, slipping out of his grip. "You are out for serious trouble" his deep voice promised her, but she didn't look fazed.

_Now quicker the fiddle went deedle-dum-diddle;_

_the dog began to roar,_

_The cow and the horses stood on their heads;_

_The guests all bounded from their beds_

_and danced upon the floor."_

She fell on him planting an open kiss at his mouth that ended up with her teeth nibbling his bottom lip before pulling back away. He looked at her enthralled and exhaled a whole bout of impatience at her provocative manners.

" _With a ping and a pang the fiddle-strings broke!_

_the cow jumped over the Moon,_

_And the little dog laughed to see such fun,_

_And the Saturday dish went off at a run_

_with the silver Sunday spoon."_

She smiled and popped her tongue out at him, intending to start another happy series of dancing twirls, but his arms caught her bringing her flushed face inches from his.

"Thank you for everything that you are doing for me" he caressed the side of her panting mouth.

"You feel better?" She looked at him affectionately.

"Yes, although I am afraid this feeling will stop when we part ways".

"You get that happen to you too?" She frowned.

"All the time", his fingers grazed her lower cheek as his thoughtful gaze fell on her mouth.

"I think we are in trouble Thorin", she whispered and gave him a lopsided smile that made his stomach burst with butterflies.

"I am becoming more and more certain that indeed we are", his smile was so reassuring that she melted onto him.

"So what do you propose we do for this trouble?" Her voice was hushed and her eyes searching between his beard and his neck.

"I propose that we cherish it. How about you?"

"Cherish it like treasure…." her eyes became dark and her hands left his vest and burrowed under his overcoat, needing to grab his body and hold it forever.

His arms tightened around her and a firm kiss burned the skin between her temple and forehead making her squeeze him hard, trying to stipple her fingers behind his back. To envelop him completely in her embrace and keep him there forever….but she was unable to do it….maybe that was a forewarning of her inability to keep this dream forever also. The thought made her frown gravely and avert her face from him when he tried to pull her chin up.

"What's wrong?" his brow filled with sudden worry.

She bit the inside of her lip to the point of blood, not wanting to draw him down a new dark path now that she had seen him so happy, "I am so grateful that Dwalin drew me out of my tiresome task of fixing up Lady Karunn's carriage and brought me over to you".

"Why are you changing the conversation?" His voice fell.

She snuggled against him, "Because I am afraid it will ruin the happiness I see in you. Can we let it go for now?" She almost begged.

"And talk about Karunn, whom you should not be naming a lady? Sure", his voice sounded lighter, trying to alleviate her sudden distress.

She pulled back and looked at him suspiciously, "that sounded borderline angry even though your tone was gentle".

He smiled.

"Was it angry?" She raised her brow.

"Most certainly. After what she did to you I have no good feelings for the woman", his voice turned so serious that Eilin's stomach clenched.

"Thorin…did you have anything to do with her leaving Erebor so quickly?"

"I may have had a word with her, yes", his lips curled up in a distasteful smirk and he looked at the valley.

"Hey, look at me!" She pinched his side.

"That-hurt", he frowned down at her.

"Did you tell her off, for me?" She looked at him impatiently.

He sighed, "More or less".

Her hand left his back and cupped his cheek, delighting at the roughness of his beard, "I never required such a thing out of you", she said breathless.

His fingers stroked her forehead, around her face and ended to her mouth where they stalled, "Anyone who hurts you, will have to answer to me".

Her eyes filled with tears anew. Her face got buried under his chin and she squeezed her eyes shut for fear that she would break apart, "I have words to tell you now… that scare me…they scare me so bad….", she muttered, very aware of how much she loved him already, but her fear of speaking those words overcame every other feeling.

He pulled back slightly and his mouth skimmed past her cheek before grazing against her lips, "I don't require them Eilin…your kiss is enough for me".

Her body surrendered to his words, to his kiss and to the way her heartbeat aligned with his. When they pulled back, she grasped his neck almost in despair and she butted her forehead on his. His arms enfolded her on him and kept her locked until the sun began setting, "it's getting late. You want to leave?"

His voice animated her. "Hell no! I haven't picked up the herbs for your tea yet and the cat still wants to play hey-diddle-diddle on her little fiddle", she smiled sweetly and felt her feet barely touching the ground as he lifted her up.

"Is that some kind of clue that I need to figure out little kitty?" He smirked down at her.

She nodded and wrapped her arms behind his neck, "Sure…I'll give you a hint…" she whispered and drew him down to an open kiss that unlocked his knees by it's unhindered passion.

When she finally decided to give him back his personal space, he sat down under the cypress tree again and enjoyed the view of the valley as the setting sun that broke between the heavy clouds, drenched it with a magnificent orange hue. Taking deep breaths and feeling blessed to have her there with him, he let go of the past if only for that moment. She didn't stop gathering herbs and singing for him. Then she hid all her small treasures in a bag that hang at the side of his saddle, before hopscotching to give him a gentle kiss. When she decided that she had gathered everything she needed they rode back to Erebor with her making his ears bleed with her constant blubbering about how this area was full of beautiful herbs and plants. To which he replied that she would be a perfect match for Oin. When inside Erebor, he helped her off the horse.

She pointed at his bag. "I'll need my herbs", she gave him a coy smile even though several people around were watching them.

"By all means, don't let all that trouble go to waste", he shook his head dismissively.

"Don't sound bitter", she pointed a finger at him.

"Was expecting something more than a bunch of silly herbs if you should know", he raised his brow.

"Don't be so dismissive! You haven't tried my brew!" she huffed at him.

He smiled, "Very well, do what pleases you".

She was reluctant for a few moments, "When I saw you this noon I was so scared, yet now you are shining brighter than I have ever seen you".

"That's your doing my beautiful Eilin," he said quietly.

She bit her lip and looked around her timidly, "I'd better go clear out my plants and make you that tea. How about that?"

He pressed his lips and gave her a nod, "I'll be waiting for it".

She bowed respectfully and ran away towards the kitchens with a happy canter she was unable and even unwilling to hide.

-.-

Thorin returned to his rooms, but he barely had the time to take off his overcoat and vest and replenish the fire when the door knocked. He had been hoping it was Eilin, but instead Dwalin entered and looked at him long and hard before closing the door. "Thank Mahal I brought her over to you. She did a good job".

"What?"

"Picking up the pieces that Servin left behind", Dwalin said and came to the armchairs in front of the fire.

Thorin shook his head, "Don't sound so angry. Servin is the only one who had every right to spread my pieces to the four winds".

"You are too hard on yourself. As always…", Dwalin lifted up three bottles and smiled, "From the royal barrels".

"When did we split the barrels into royal and common?" Thorin smirked.

"When we tasted the mead that was ageing down there forgotten and figured out which one was the best", Dwalin winked at him.

"Who did that?"

"Bombur", Dwalin smiled.

"I hate it, but I truly need one now", Thorin settled in the armchair.

"Never seen a dwarf being so dismissive of alcohol", Dwalin smirked and filled up a cup for him.

"It muddles the thinking Dwalin and I need my head clear all the time", he raised his brow.

"But sometimes it numbs down the pain", Dwalin reasoned and took a sit across from him.

"Indeed so today it's most welcomed", Thorin said and emptied the cup in one go.

Dwalin followed eagerly, "So what happened with Servin?"

"I told him everything", Thorin frowned.

"Everything?" Dwalin raised his brow.

"Everything," Thorin nodded sadly, "and isn't it strange that I feel partly relieved?"

"Expected I'd say. Just so you'd know he called you King when he returned and I checked the Blacklock army. He is still commander as it seems", Dwalin tasted his mead thoughtfully.

"He is an righteous man", Thorin cringed, "which is more than can be said of me…".

Dwalin waved him off, "Bullocks. I haven't seen anyone punishing himself so relentlessly about decisions that were harder than the rocks of Erebor, to begin with. Whatever happened between you and Siv is something I cannot touch, but her death I can. It was not your fault! It was a nasty twist of fate and you need to lay that nightmare to rest. It's been too long. Let-it-go!"

Thorin's lips turned into a sad smile, "Do you think if I had died up in Ravenhill I would have been led by Siv into the afterlife?"

"I don't know. Would you have wanted that?" Dwalin frowned.

Thorin emptied his third cup not intending to stop, "No, I'd want Frerin. You?"

Dwalin, "my father".

Thorin nodded and leaned his head back closing his eyes.

"Did you see anyone when you died?" Dwalin's voice was hushed.

"No…only darkness and then pain…no one was there", his jaw flexed and his chest suddenly welled, "Frerin was not there for me".

Dwalin brow became heavy, "don't go around thinking that this is your next punishment. To be greeted by darkness. I can already see the thought forming into your mind".

"Did you know that Frerin promised to be there for me in the end, as he was dying in my arms?" Thorin kept his eyes in the mead on his cup.

Dwalin nodded, "I was there, behind you".

"He swore…even though he was leaving…he swore to me. Not with words, but I saw the imperceptible nod of his head and the tears that fell from his closed eyes." Thorin's brows wavered as he accessed those painful memories of old.

"He will be there for you", Dwalin said heavily.

Thorin cupped his face and a sob got lodged onto his throat, screaming to get out. He had enough of crying today…and yet his body apparently didn't have enough yet. As he had foreseen when he was away from Eilin the darkness returned a thousandfold. It was as if she was keeping it away with her vibrating life force. He emptied another cup quickly and pushed up. He needed to get rid of his clothes.

"What are you doing?" Dwalin frowned dizzily up at him.

"I am getting rid of everything, lest I get rid of my own skin in the end", he grumbled and wiped away his face angrily. His hands worked quickly as he took off his belt, his tunic and then his bandage. Then suddenly he froze in front of his angry scar. The reminder of his death now without stitches and roughly healed, cut across the whole left side of his torso below the chest and it's tail reached just above his belly button. Ugly, red and terrifying. Branding his already scared body with it's disturbing size and depth.

"Damn it looks much bigger than I remember it when you were bleeding to death", Dwalin shook his head mesmerised.

"Doesn't it?" Thorin frowned. Then he reached out and opened up another bottle. He refilled himself and Dwalin and proposed silently first at Dwalin and then at his scar. He snorted and then gulped it down quickly feeling the aftermath of the alcohol quieting him down, now that Eilin was not around to manage that with some beautiful dance, or some silly song or her fire igniting touches. He continued drinking cup after cup relishing on the fire trail the liquid left on his throat and stomach. Maybe it could burn him from the inside out and bring him to some kind of blessed epiphany. Maybe that is what his father sought with his heavy drinking sometimes also. Dwalin saw Thorin's deteriorating condition and guilt overpowered him suddenly.

"Bloody fires of Moria's hell-pits, I never wanted to see despair returning to your eyes again. Did I mess up your mood?", Dwalin shook his head angrily.

"You didn't…the claws of my past just lurk under the surface, waiting to grab me all the time. Even if I try to get away from them with the help of a new bright hope…."

Dwalin cut him, "Eilin…"

Thorin nodded, "….they return with a vengeance to undo me. Tell me, which ill twist of fate made Servin come here now?"

Dwalin opened his mouth, but Thorin raised his hand dismissively, "How can I not think that this sudden appearance is a punishment straight from the other world, because I decided to let another woman approach me? Needless to say that the better I feel with Eilin, the more I expect the final punishment to be grimer".

"You need to settle this in your mind once and for all, before it undos you and this poor girl that got entangled into your mess", Dwalin raised his brow and drank.

"If Erebor and my court don't ruin everything for us anyway. Dwalin, when I am around her I feel that everything is possible. The moment I step away, all the difficulties come crashing down on me and I feel certain of an impending doom. The manacles around my wrists are not much different than when I was a commander under Thror. This bloody legacy still needs sacrifices, even though I gave my life for it….!"

Dwalin reached out and grabbed his forearm, "Maybe then for once in your life you'd do well to think what you want to sacrifice your life for. Because the last sacrifice you made for this place almost killed you…"

Thorin's eyes grew darker.

"Nay…scratch that….it's been slowly killing you for more than a hundred years and it has never stopped, has it?"

Thorin swallowed heavily, "It has stopped", he said breathless.

Dwalin frowned, "when? Just now you were berating yourself about how Servin is Siv's earthly punishment for you!"

Thorin's eyes bored down on him heavy, "When I am with Eilin, the pain stops".

Dwalin pulled back with a slow dawn of recognition in his eyes, "Oh, this is serious".

Thorin swallowed heavily and avoided Dwalin's eyes.

Dwalin pulled back and rubbed his forehead, "How could I have ever believed that it wasn't going to be so god damn serious, is the question".

Thorin remained silent.

"It's not as if you ever surrounded yourself with women", Dwalin looked at him.

Thorin raised his brow and huffed.

"This is the first woman you ever approached after Siv's death, you bloody idiot…" Dwalin smirked.

Thorin looked up gravely.

"It should have been a dead giveaway for me that you were in love from day one", Dwalin shook his head and crossed his arms.

Thorin felt his heart clenching, "we only love once…"

Dwalin grabbed his bicep and jerked him heavily, "and we only live once! You lived twice! Wake up! You are in love…"

Thorin felt his shoulders slouching and his heart deflating so hard that he lost his breath, if only for a moment. He remained silent, with eyes that seared onto Dwalin's, "and if I am…what happens then?" The question sounded so childish that it pained his friend deeply.

"Then you brace yourself for the impact, because you will have brought yourself in a similar crossroad. Only this time you are not the heir to the throne of Durin…you are the bloody King and she's not a Blacklock heir, she's a maiden"

"It feels like Balin is speaking through you", Thorin looked at him dejected.

Dwalin shook his head, "I am just telling you that things will be hard. The final decisions shall be yours when the time comes".

"And you will follow me, whatever they may be?" Thorin looked up wistfully.

"To the end of the world", Dwalin smiled.

They pulled each other hard and embraced, "Thank you".

"I will always be there for you, as long as my heart keeps beating. I was the one that carried you bloody down from Ravenhill. I don't ever want to see you that broken again. Whatever be your choice in the future know that I have your back", Dwalin's voice broke and an unexpected sob left his strong chest.

Thorin tightened his arms around him, "And I've got yours. I always did and I always will".

Dwalin nodded and wiped his face away, angry at those unbidden tears that came out of nowhere, "Shit…now you passed down your darkness onto me you sorrow-filled cave-in".

Thorin smiled and that is when the door knocked lightly, "Come", he said.

It opened up to show Eilin's searching face, "Hey there, got your tea..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Merry Inn", Song (Songs and tales from J.R.R. Tolkien's work.)
> 
> * My dove
> 
> ** my brightest star
> 
> Thank you all for the continuous support. The supportive reviews from the few people that enjoy this, give me the boost needed to continue.
> 
> xox


	29. Words long forgotten

Eilin looked at him, "Hey there, got your tea...", but the moment she saw Dwalin she pulled back "Oh, I am sorry, I'll come back later".

"Come in Eilin, Dwalin was just leaving".

"Was I?" Dwalin frowned.

Thorin lips curled up, "yes".

"Yeah, I need to rest and you are upsetting me too much for one evening", Dwalin rejoined and emptied his cup. Then he picked up his coat and made it to the door. He held it open for her to enter since she was holding a tray that was covered.

"Thank you sir", she looked troubled at both men, concerned that she had arrived at an inappropriate moment.

Dwalin didn't seem to be disturbed about her arrival though. "Goodnight, have a nice time and keep it quiet. I am just down the corridor". The warning was clear as the door closed behind him.

Eilin placed the tray on the table that was in front of the fire and looked up at him, "did I mess up?"

"No".

"Did I come too early?" She came close to him.

"No".

"Did I come too late? Your sister needed some assistance and then I had to make your tea…", she began tittering, wanting to excuse herself for taking so long, but he leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her lips that instantly stopped her.

"I am just glad you came, that's all".

Her palms touched his bare chest, "Why are you undressed? Your skin is cold", she frowned.

"A few moments ago I couldn't take any clothes on me", he said.

She looked down at his scar and her mouth dried out, "you want me to care for it?" Her forefinger touched it at the edges.

He shuddered and pulled her into his embrace, resting his chin on top of her head, "No".

"Does it bother you?" she whispered.

"Not really". After a second he frowned thoughtfully, "not unless I overexert myself".

Her body tensed and he felt it.

"It looks bad doesn't it?" he sounded so uncertain that her heart rushed out to comfort him.

"Well, it was a deadly wound that tore you in half so I don't know what you expected it to look like, but if you feel it ruins your physic you are very much mistaken. Nothing can undo how good you look. A thought that makes me mildly uncomfortable as you become the centre of attention for many women", she looked up to him happily.

He sulked and his warm lips touched her forehead delicately, "your cute awkwardness is able to pull me out of the rabbit's hole each and every time".

"Thorin", she hesitated and pulled back in order to be able to see his eyes, "When I left you two hours ago your eyes were smiling, yet now you are as dispirited as you were at the burial grounds".

A lopsided smile tried to downgrade her worries. "I told you, when we part ways the broodiness returns. It's like a second skin to me".

She sighed and drew half circles on his skin, delighting in the way the hair on his chest tickled her palms. "I am here, so what can I do to help?"

"Just being here is enough", he closed his eyes.

"No, it's not. Will maybe something like this help more?" She came forth and touched his skin with her mouth. Delaying the warm kiss on his chest, she felt the hard beating of his heart under her lips.

His stomach twisted, "It might…"

Her palms tracked down his ribcage."How about this?" Her nails replaced her palms and she felt his skin prickling instantly in response.

He cleared his throat, "That will help even more", he agreed with an eagerness that made her grin. His fingers decided that they had to reciprocate her touch and came around her neck to undo the clips that held her long mantle in place. When he inched it off her shoulders to reveal a wispy nightgown hiding underneath, his breath caught. The air that got lifted as the mantle fell around her ankles caressed her naked body and she shivered. She stepped off her boots and looked up to him.

His wide palms landed on her shoulders and squeezed. "What the hell are you wearing?" His eyes ignited with a fire she recognised well from all their previous encounters.

"Just my nightgown", she flicked a shoulder and felt embarrassed under his intense scrutiny.

"Under the nightgown?" His eyes bore on hers demanding, after giving her a rude once-over.

"Nothing…" she whispered and felt her big toes turning timidly towards each other.

"Heaven help me", he mumbled and reached out to get her, but she slithered out of his grasp quickly.

"No! Not yet!" She raised her finger at him sternly.

"Why?"

"I wanna give you something I made for you", she tiptoed to the table, where she had put the tray.

His shoulders slouched in disappointment, "I don't want that bloody cup of tea now…". He sounded so much like a pissed off teenager and so little like the majestic Mountain King that her heart beamed at these spontaneous reactions that were reserved only for her eyes.

"Don't care what you want. Now close your eyes", she raised her brow and waited.

He sighed, calling on every thread of patience, "There. Happy now?"

She smiled brightly and uncovered the tray, "yes, now remain still". She picked up the flower crown she had been making for him all afternoon with the flowers she picked up from the burial ground and approached thoughtfully. She attempted to place it on his head, but it was impossible to do it properly, due to his height. "You are too tall for me", she muttered under her breath.

"What?" He made to turn around and open his eyes, but she didn't want him to see anything.

"No, eyes closed! I am going to find a way! Wait!" She searched around. When she saw the armchair she clasped his hand and pulled him back to it.

He staggered clumsily, "Can you tell me what you are doing? I really don't want a drink right now", he grumbled.

"Hush your mouth", she said sweetly and stepped on the armchair. Now finally she could see above his head. She smiled and placed the flower crown gently on him, "There", she whispered and adjusted it to her liking.

He frowned and reached up to touch it. His eyes flew open and looked up at her deeply unnerved, "Did you just give me a flower crown?"

She flicked one shoulder, "Yeah...", she sounded as nervous as she felt.

His face lines smoothed down and a handsome smile made her breath catch, "took you long enough".

"You wanted it?" her eyes grew wide.

"Longed for it", he raised both brows to drive his point home.

"If I'd known I would have made it sooner", her fingers twisted around each other and her stomach filled up with butterflies.

"Looking at you blushing I am not sure how you gathered up the courage to give it to me", he said roguishly.

"Well, I am more courageous than you think", she raised her brow and tried to look offended even though she didn't feel it.

"Oh, I know that. You've proven it multiple times. When did you gather these flowers? At the burial grounds?" his hands rested on her waist, fondling her gently.

"Yes. When you thought I was picking up herbs for your tea", she laughed feeling truly entertained by how well she had duped him off.

"You were very convincing", his lips twisted showing his mild annoyance.

"I fooled you well and good, didn't I?" she bit her fingernail with a coy smile that made him feel warm inside.

"You fooled me so bad that now I itch to retaliate. Young lady I am sorry, but you came in second", he acted all cool.

She sighed defeated. "Yes, that ten year old has a good start on me".

He humphed, "Don't know, maybe you can convince me to renegotiated the deal with her if you try hard enough".

"How?" She pretended to be interested.

"Let me see. How about allowing me to do this to you?" his fingers picked up the airy material of her nightgown and slid it off her shoulders.

"Oh, the sacrifices I am required to make in order for the most handsome King of the land to accept my flower crown", she acted all sad and disappointed, but as the soft material slid down her breasts, they perked up and she unwillingly shuddered.

"If this is a difficult sacrifice, then the next one is going to be terrifying for you", the flat of his palms followed the curve of her thighs up to her hips and they remained there, squeezing appreciatively. He drew her in and his mouth touched the centre of her chest, between her breasts with a gentle kiss that burned her skin.

Her eyelids closed and her breath picked up, "Terrifying, utterly abhorring, but I will have to sustain...for that flower crown". Her fingers sank into his thick mane massaging his head encouragingly.

His nose nuzzled against her full breast and he gave one kiss to it's side. Her stomach squeezed tight and heat began dripping into her core. His mouth moved a little bit closer to her peak and kissed once more gently, "how about another sacrifice that might be close to impossible then?"

"I will endure. Do it", she bit her lower lip in heated anticipation.

His mouth settled next to her peak and remained there immovable, allowing only his breath to harden it. She felt each exhalation from his mouth, clenching her inner muscles. She hissed feeling truly annoyed then, "Thorin, stop teasing me!"

He chuckled and his hands mapped the skin of her hips until they reach the small of her back. He flushed her against him and his tongue came out to taste her nipple. He pulled back to enjoy how it became rigid immediately in response. Then his mouth eased at the side of her neck. "I wonder how this will react", his hand curved around her breast, "when I do this", his mouth opened up to draw in her soft skin.

She missed a heartbeat, "oh!"

"Perfect…" he whispered when he felt her nipple poking his palm rudely.

Just as she was about to curse him blind if he didn't do something about all this, he opened up his mouth and engulfed her other breast with his slick tongue. Her knees became weak and her stomach flipped. He steadied her on him, as he taunted both her breasts with his hand and mouth gently at first and then with increased pressure and demand. His eyes betrayed his delight at seeing her squirm with each tease his mouth offered and with each playful stroke his hand added. Her lips may have dropped open and her chest may have been swelling with her quickening breaths, but she remained silent through all this delicious torment. That lasted until his fingers shadowed over the red curls of her sex, barely touching her skin. Taking their time to feel them before coming up against her closed folds.

That threw her self control out the window. Her hips bucked against his fingers involuntarily and she yanked his head up to her face. "You are killing me", she whispered breathless.

"Patience", he smirked knowingly and his fingers glided through her folds to find her heat.

Her body tightened like a bow and she felt the taste of blood in her tongue as she bit her lip hard. Incoherent curses of Khuzdul left her whimpering mouth as he spread her creamy want on her pulsating centre and fog draped over every logical function in her brain. Her nails clawed his head for good measure, a single breath before his finger plunged into her easily making lose her ability stand. She almost collapsed, but his strong arm kept her aloft. When his thumb started caressing her centre and as his middle finger spread her apart, her curses began losing their vowels slowly and became deep consonants. When his mouth left her breast and licked down to her belly, the consonants became biting groans and when his mouth passed the curls of her sex and he kneeled in front of her, every single sound seized and time stood still. She counted inwards, begging all the gods for him to continue his daring endeavour. When his tongue pursued it's target between her folds, time returned like a vortex to draw her in a swirling ecstasy. Every vowel and consonant burst out of her chest again, in messed up combinations that made no sense, but betrayed her arousal not only to him, but also to all their neighboors.

"Keep-it-down!" He grumbled right onto the most intimate and aroused part of her body and she shuddered hard, feeling at the edge of a fleeting orgasm that he denied her by stopping right at the last moment. Then as she was about to call him out, his mouth locked onto her and she lost part of her eyesight. His tongue worked on her meticulously, not allowing her a moment of breath, until she bucked heavily against him and collapsed under an orgasm that stole also half of her brain. His hands kept her steady as he climbed up her trembling body planting soft kisses everywhere.

She could instantly smell herself on him, "I need more", she kissed him feeling the aftershocks of her release thundering through her body.

He rolled his tongue into her mouth and his kiss had such a carnal undertone that she instantly clenched with the need to feel more from him. That void she had always been feeling was now painfully prominent, even though she just had a major orgasm.

"Oh, by heavens I need more too", he pulled back and his eyes were dilated with passion.

Wordlessly she looked at him as her hands followed the thin line of hair on his stomach right down to his trousers. Her eyes burrowed into his, fearless and needy, for a few silent moments were neither was moving. "Can I touch you, or will you push me away again?" She whispered.

His hand curved around hers and led her to undo the straps, "I won't push you away. Not tonight, Eilin." His eyes were tense, almost unblinking. She opened his trousers and pulled them down at his hips, keeping her eyes steadily on his. Her heart was thumping wildly and she was afraid to see what she had been feeling above his clothing all this time. He saw her hesitation and led her to him. "Touch me", he said quietly. Her heart tripped over it's own beat and her mouth watered when her fingers grazed the softest skin she had ever felt, above the hardest and most substantial erection she had ever imagined. She wrapped her poor fingers around him as much as she could and squeezed, wanting to feel every inch that impressive muscle. His jaw flexed and he inhaled sharply. She looked up worriedly, "Did I hurt you?"

"No, my beautiful Eilin", he pushed her back to the armchair. He urged her to open up her legs and he settled between them carefully. Her hand gave him another possessive squeeze that tensed the muscles of his forearm, "try like this…" his hand came around hers to show her what he liked. The way his strong body was cradled between her legs and what he was leading her to do at his weighty erection was enough to make her throb again in need. She squirmed trying to find some way to relieve her arousal, but for the first time since they became intimate she saw him abandoning himself at the moment and she didn't want to stop that. She got enthused by the waves of pleasure that seemed to shift every single muscle on his handsome face and that was enough to bring her on the verge again without him even touching her. Seeing his face enfolded in pure ecstasy was probably the most erotic thing she had ever experienced up till then. Suddenly his hand stopped it's labouring and squeezed himself harder than she would have ever dared. A hiss escaped his lips and he leaned his head onto her cheek, "I want to feel you", his voice vibrated with a richness that made her heart pick up speed. She looked down at him and saw her small hand wrapped around what was a definitely formidable arousal and his large hand engulfing both her and himself, his knuckles turning white.

"me too", she nodded fiercely although fear began pooling in her stomach along with excitement.

He pushed her hand away, and settled between her legs. His lips planted gentle wet pecks on her cheek, until they found her mouth and there they remained, half open, panting with his fiery want. He led himself to her and she braced herself, but instead of claiming her, as she was expecting, he stopped. Then he drew his considerable length on her, making her whole body convulse with a need that seemed to arise from her very soul. He started a patient slow rubbing game that was a challenge to his willpower, but quickly made Eilin lose her mind and her ability to stop the keening sounds that escaped her throat, until his mouth muted her. He only intended to ready her for him, knowing that this was going to be a tight fit, but it was starting to backfire on him. Her scorching heat, her wetness and the inarticulate sounds she was making into his mouth were slowly sucking all logic out of him. As his tongue rolled deeply into her mouth, tasting every single groan she was giving him, his hips gave one undulating unintentional swoop and he got buried in her half way through. A curse left his mouth and a painful cry left hers. He felt her muscles clenching in order to keep him out. His size was not going to be easily accepted by her small and dainty body, but he throbbed with the need to tear into her. Yet the remaining logic in his foggy mind told him to stop and breathe. Just breathe…breathe…and calm down.

"Thorin…", she gasped and her nails clawed his forearms. She wanted to stop the stinging pain that battered her body.

"I know..breathe…calm down", he whispered, talking to her but also to himself.

"The pain…the pain", she whimpered, knowing that she was going to be bloody after this. She could feel the tears happening down there just as her body was trying to push him out…and at the same time pull him in.

He swallowed heavily and counted internally. Then he kissed her lips softly and caressed her temple, "open your eyes and look at me".

She did and he saw both the pain and the need in them, equal parts, fighting each other. "Slowly…we will take it slowly. Okay?"

She nodded fiercely, "Yes, please". Her nails were clawing bloody trails on his forearms, but he didn't mind.

"You know what I liked most about you when I first saw you?" He smiled down at her.

"No…"

"That you looked like an elf. A beautiful, airy, red-headed elf, with an angelic voice, that has come to heal me", he spoke softly.

She smiled and sighed deeply, feeling her overstretched muscles numbing down slowly as he remained immovable, "Thought you hated elves".

"Females are not bad at all", his eyes burrowed in hers with a playful glint.

She frowned in disbelief, "What the hell Thorin?!"

He chuckled, "Not an easy thing to admit to".

She smiled widely and nodded, "I bet!"

He pushed slowly and moved a little deeper flaring up her pain and making her squeeze her eyes tight and claw his forearms once again. He nodded patiently. "Just breathe and listen to my voice", he reassured her and gently kissed her temple. "You have such an exceptional beauty that you steel my breath away every time I look at you….and such a sweet awkwardness that you make my heart come alive", he placed a velvety kiss on her neck.

She smiled and closed her eyes. "You are doing well. Keep it up…". She wanted to hear more about how he felt about her.

"Did you know that I wanted to taste every single inch of your body the day you fought my arm so bravely when Oin was stitching me up?" He smiled upon her throat.

Her mouth dropped open. "You were half unconscious!" He pushed a little further, but this time she didn't feel the excruciating pain she had experienced on first contact. Slowly her muscles were getting used to him and his careful tries.

"Half drunk to oblivion more like it, but I still wanted to have you from the first moment I laid eyes on you", he pulled back and looked into her eyes with breathtaking honesty.

Upon his words the first traces of pleasure echoed deep into her bruised tunnel. "Me too", she whispered and her hands declawed his forearms and burrowed under his armpits holding firmly on his shoulder-blades. Another careful swoop brought him deeper and she felt him hitting something inside that made her eyes roll to the back of her head as it send a signal of pleasure all over her lower body.

His mouth bordered to her ear, "We're almost there", he whispered and her skin prickled.

A whimper of need left her half open lips. "Do it", Her hands took hold of him, hanging on as he gave the final gentle push that brought him to the hilt.

The moan that left her mouth was deep and filled with both pain and pleasure, "Oh, Eru…!" She wouldn't have believed that her body was able to stretch so much or that someone would be able to touch places inside she didn't know ever existed.

"Better?" He panted onto her ear and she felt each burning exhalation running down her spine and ending around his arousal in the form of her tight muscles giving him their squeezing approval.

She nodded breathlessly, "yes".

One arm wrapped under her armpit and the other took firm hold of her hip as he claimed her with a slow and careful thrusting that stung like hell. She clang onto him for life, squeezing her eyes tight and feeling her body tensing beyond recognition, not knowing if if she wanted eject him or keep him there forever. Every plunge felt like a stab and even though she had been wet and ready, the pain and his size were not allowing her to feel any lubrication at all. Yet, she held on, breathing hard onto the croon of his neck and trying to diminish the pain that kept coming back with each movement. It was first his playful tongue that allowed her to partially let go of the tension as it slid past her lips. Then it was his hand that assisted, by curving above her breast and tweaking her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. The first exhalation of pleasure came out of her mouth when he pushed deep in her at the same moment he pinched her tender peak. Her legs that were up till then openly tense and unmoving, unlocked. One came around his waist, savouring on his strong muscles tensing under her. The other slid down his thigh and her toes curled inwards as the way he was touching her deepest parts was beginning to spread heat to her lower body. She drew him in and arched against his body, wanting to feel every inch of him, as his mouth worked trails of magic on her neck and chest. The burning pain in her slowly got replaced with trickling warmth and then with a twisting pleasure that made her heave against him. His careful handling made her feel revelled beyond any expectations. She smiled and bucked her hips, trying to swallow the whole of him, something her body found impossible to do without a new flare of pain. The appreciative groan that left his lips though was enough payment and she relished on the effect she was having on him.

Slowly his careful thrusts and soft-spoken, loving words of Khuzdul into her ear, melted her body into hot lava and she forgot all about the pain as she steadily unravelled every thread of her need to him. It didn't take long for him to make her move under him, desperately trying to catch the release that his steady drive was promising. When a while ago she wanted to keep him out, now she grabbed onto him, legs, arms and mouth never wanting to let him go…and then she is there…the hot pleasure and the promise of the ultimate release…just there….at the edge of her grasp. A few more firm thrusts and the silver sparks smashed through her making her exhale his name as she came undone.

His hot breath burned her skin and he stopped to delight at her release. It took her a while to settle down, but when he felt her breath slowing and her fingers relaxing on his shoulder-blades, he looked down at her, "You are so beautiful".

She shivered feeling blissful and held onto him like a barnacle. She knew that after two such intense orgasms it was difficult nay impossible to go for another, but she wanted to feel him getting the same level of pleasure out of their intimacy, so she urged him on "more".

He picked her up as if she was a feather and brought her to the bed. He rested his elbows at the side of her head and his hands caressed her hair as he positioned himself better and thrust into her so deep that a broken undulating moan came out of her throat and into his mouth. They made slow love. He took his time with her, pulling her gently up step by step not caring how long it would take him. He caressed and kissed. He mauled and fondled until she began getting overwhelmed once more by a breathtaking overtone of fiery pleasure she didn't expect from her body, so close to her previous releases. Her heart opened up to encompass his, just as her body was encompassing his so lovingly….Her nails once more became sharp knives that didn't give any consideration to his skin and broke through his tattoo of fierceness. She wanted to leave him her own painful gift to their joined ecstasy. When his drive became harder and quicker, her breath became strained from her need to reach the evasive point of bright light that was somewhere up there just out of her reach. It was waving back and forth with his rhythm and she almost had it in her grasp unbelievable as it was.

"Thorin...don't stop please", this time she didn't say it to assist his release, but hers.

His hand stroked her cheek, "One more time…for me", he whispered and she concentrated deep into his beautiful eyes. The ones that magnetised her heart from the first time she saw them open up. Those eyes that betrayed so many unspoken things to her. She was so in love with his eyes. Her fingers touched the edge of his goose trail and then followed his nose and found his lips, as his thrusting intensified. She was in love with his handsome face and body, but above all with the way he made her feel. She was so in love with the whole of him, it felt almost unbearable. She felt her chest welling and she pinched his lip possessively, "Thorin…" she panted, feeling each letter sliding out of her tongue like led. She wanted to add 'I love you' next to his name, but fear overtook her. Instead she threw her head back to the pillow abandoning her body into another mind shattering orgasm that she muted alone this time by cupping her mouth and lodging those hard moans into her throat, making the final result sound like choking.

Words long forgotten and deeply painful in their emptiness echoed into his ecstatic mind, threatening to bring him down hard with them.  _"Don't plant any seeds"._ He wanted to yell a monumental curse to his dead father for appearing out of nowhere to stain him. He wanted to bring him back from the dead in order to reveal to him with sick pleasure that all his fears had been unfounded. That his constant fear that Thorin would have a child out of marriage with Siv had been for naught. He wanted to do it just for revenge, even though this truth pained him deeper than it would anyone else. He gritted his teeth and pulled back in order to look at Eilin's face. His eyes desperately followed every single inch of her beauty and he used the amazing woman under him, to drive those demons away as he reached his own heaven in her arms. He didn't know if she felt his fears or if she understood the pain in his eyes, but she offered him a single smile. It bespoke of such affection that everything else dispersed into the void. After that smile, his mind was blessed to have only her in it. Her and her face unfolding in pleasure under him. Her and the way her body invited him to join in it's thundering release….and he did without any remorse. With no fears or regrets. When his orgasmic groan sipped through her skin it was much louder than any of hers had ever been and she looked at him partly amused, "I thought you told me to be quiet…Did you realise that you've just been heard all over the royal corridor?"

He laughed on her neck as he gave her a couple of precious fading thrusts, not really caring who heard him. He cared only that this release of his, was dedicated only to her and no one else. It bore his devotion to her body with a iron rod that burned through his very heart and embraced every single inch of hers. He felt thoroughly sated but above all relieved that his nightmares remained behind this time and allowed him to enjoy this woman in breath stealing totality. He bit her neck greedily, not getting enough of the saltiness of her skin on his tongue and then inhaled deeply her faint sweat under the sexual muskiness of her multiple orgasms ….and he was in heaven. Totally bewildered by how easily he had convinced himself that this feeling didn't matter anymore or that he was never going to feel it again. "If I say I don't care, will it bother you?"

She laughed happily and squeezed him tight, "It will, because you are always stopping me from expressing myself. That's unfair!".

"I'll let you wake up everyone next time and we'll be even, alright?" he grinned at her.

She beamed up, "deal!"

"Are you alright?" His brows moved with uncertainty.

"I am in heaven and I never want to come down. You didn't allow me to catch a breath once. You are supposed to be two hundred years old? Your virility is off the charts", she spoke with such unprocessed sincerity that his stomach bubbled up.

"A hundred and ninety six", he noticed slightly irritated when this young beauty mentioned his age even in this complimenting manner.

"Sorry for adding you four petty years, but you are utterly overwhelming despite them, or maybe because of them", she gave him a subtle look that made him appreciate her compliments even more.

"Did I hurt you a lot…?" He pulled back in order to check on her.

She cleared his face from his sweaty hair. "Yes, but the pleasure you offered me was worth every single flare of pain".

"Let me see you", he said and in an act totally out of character for him -or so she would have thought- he opened up her legs and checked her sex gently with his fingers. He looked at her in a way that warmed up her already conquered heart before speaking with a clearly regretful tone, "Eilin, I am so sorry…"

"What?" She stretched with a heartfelt yawn.

"You are bloody…" he said and reached out at the side table to get an unused cloth that Oin had forgotten there.

"Hey, I don't care! I feel fine", she said and stretched contently again, buried inside a cloud of bliss that made her feel that anything was possible.

"Let me clean you", he said and stood up to dip the cloth into clean water.

She smiled, her face half hidden behind her bicep and bit a large chunk out of it, as her eyes feasted hungrily on his strong body. When she looked up at the crown of Durin and the seven starts between his shoulder blades that was now clearly visible under the wet strands of his hair, it was the first time she didn't feel terrified of the heavy lineage he was carrying on his shoulders. The heir of Durin this time was not a reminder that made her apprehensive. It made her proud that he chose her to share his intimacy and she didn't want to lose the feeling of wholesomeness.

When he returned, bringing along Oin's treatment, she smiled coyly at him. When the wet cloth touched her gently between her folds though the stinging pain returned angry and made her hiss and pull away from him.

"I am so sorry for hurting you Eilin…" he said and looked up at her, with eyes that bespoke of true regret, but how could they have avoided this? Her body wouldn't have been able to accept this man without sacrificing something in order to accommodate him and she didn't regret one single moment, or one single inch of torn skin. She wanted to relish everything at that moment. The pain, the pleasure, the satisfaction…everything.

She reached out to stop him, "I loved everything you did to me, and I believe you can tell my honesty. You've felt me rather intensely, more than a couple of times", she tried to reassure him.

"I did", he smiled, but when he looked down he sobered up quickly again and began a careful job of cleaning her up. The shots of pain she felt each time he wiped her bruised skin felt like a caress to her heart. His gesture touched her so deeply that she felt her eyes overflowing with tears and she averted her gaze from him. She had gotten much more bloody before, but those men never asked for forgiveness with such sorrowful honesty, never brought her to such heights and never tried to clean her afterwards….they laughed at her, pushed her around and kicked her to the ground wanting to make her bleed more. They tore her clothes and pulled her hair. They never wiped her tears away, they spat on them. How could life offer such extreme experiences on both sides of the spectrum and not expect her to fall head over heels for this man that was cleaning the wounds he caused with such affection? He felt her silent tears and looked up at her worriedly, "What is it? Am I hurt you still?"

Her eyes passed from his sweaty long hair and remained for a moment on the scar tissue of his forehead wound that was still partly visible. They strayed to his eyes and it felt as if they held all the magic of Middle Earth in them. She looked at his proud nose that always flared when he was annoyed and at those soft lips that could kiss her to oblivion. She basked at his bearded chin that felt so rough on her sensitive skin then down to his neck and strong chest. She admired his blacksmith and weapon of choice tattoos and then she followed the line of dark hair down his muscular stomach to stall on the heavy scar that killed him…and her heart stopped. She shook her head feeling her throat clenching with more choked tears, "Not at all".

He put the cloth aside and placed some balm on his fingers. He began spreading it gently on her, with a reverence that made her heart yell in a desperate need to lock the whole of him inside it. Poor poor heart…would it be able to encompass his everything? "Don't tell me this is part of the dwarven courting?" She tried to alleviate her need to cry tears of happiness again. He had seen her crying enough. He was always so tense and broody. Now she wanted to enjoy his relaxed shoulders and the look of total calmness on his face, not make him tense once more.

He looked up from his work, "It most certainly is. I want to alleviate the discomfort I caused"

She sat up and pulled his hand away from her, even though his gentle cleaning and the medication of Oin had indeed began soothing her down surprisingly well, "Don't put your hands on me like that, unless you are up for a fourth round", she caressed his cheek.

"No more rounds for you tonight. You need to rest. Let me finish with Oin's treatment or you are going to be very sore tomorrow", he frowned.

She pretended to think and bit her lower lip, "Hmmm..Oin's treatment…That is why you are calling this concoction ointment?"

He chuckled, "you just cannot get serious can you? Not even for a second…"

"I don't want to be serious. I want to look and sound as happy as you make me feel inside", she beamed up to him and pulled him down next to her. "Also I don't want you to treat what offered me so much pleasure….I want to revel in it. I want to stain your sheets with it, so you will never forget what we did here today".

One of his arms came under her and pulled her back and the other brought his heavy blankets over their naked bodies, "How can I ever forget it? Your fire has branded my mind for life" He whispered and cradled her close to his heart.

She snuggled back against him and closed her eyes, "yours has branded both my body and my mind…" she murmured feeling content and sleepy. Her hips undulated back to his, in order to feel him and she shuddered by both the softness of his skin and the slight pain between her legs. He was right. Tomorrow she was going to be sore as hell…What he didn't know was that she was going to cherish every single moment of being unable to walk straight. With those thoughts in mind and his large body offering safety she quickly dozed off into probably the most peaceful sleep she ever remembered in her life, without even counting on leaving him behind awake and musing at her steady breath.

-.-

A few hours later Thorin woke up from another broken sleep, that this time didn't have nightmares in it, but complicated images that made no real sense. He leaned on his elbow and brooded over her for a long time. It took him immeasurable amounts of effort not to build gravestones from the pillows under her head and instead kiss her gently on her shoulder and run his roughened palm on her soft curves in order to remind himself that she was alive and warm. Not blue and cold. He leaned his forehead on her arm and then his hand touched her back gently, counting her breaths for what felt like an eternity, making sure that he wasn't dreaming.

The fear of cold skin under his fingers was not easy to push away after so many years, but she continued breathing, reassuring him that this wasn't a dream that was going to turn bad. That he was not going to wake up to frozen skin, blue lips and glassy eyes, like he always did in his nightmares. He looked at her beautifully serene face and the consolation that this time things would be different, came deep from his heart in the form of something unclasping. As if an unseen lock blew open all of a sudden after years of being rusty and closed up tight. This was not the ghost of his former love that haunted him. This was Eilin. Alive, beautiful, witty, funny, brave, loyal and above all full of life. Her back was against his chest and his hair was creating a blanket for her shoulder trying to shield her from the outside world. As if it was going to steal her from him in some manner.

She was blissfully oblivious in her dreams, about his dormant nightmares that kept him awake night after night. Her long hair was an entangled mess around her figure that he ached to ran his fingers through. The bite sized nibble on the side of her throat was his testimony of how easily he lost his control around her. He shoved the difficulty of their situation back almost with hatred, convincing himself that he was ready to take on his responsibility towards this beautiful woman in every form, no matter who he was, or who she was. He knew that things wouldn't be easy, but they were too far gone now to turn back. It was not just him giving her a hair bead and she a flower crown. It was his want that had branded her loins and his need to repeat the deed as many times as his heart would be able to take without collapsing…..yet disappointment awaited her at the turn of the road. Even if he managed to overcome the difficulties of his lineage, she had to know that he wasn't able to offer her a family as she was probably imagining it. She had to learn the truth, if he could ever find the courage to tell her.

He sat in his armchair and emptied his cup, not in a hurry to reveal to her his deepest fears and disappoint her….Dwalin had been right…he managed to put himself in a similarly hard situation as he had done with Siv, if not even worst, and this time there was no father to put the blame on. This time it was them that could control every single aspect of this new story. He looked down and smiled at the flower crown that was abandoned at the table. He picked it up and turned it, inside his large fingers with a wistful smile. Then his eyes remained at the fire and his mind emptied of all thoughts. He stayed there woolgathering until his skin felt cold and shivers ran down his spine. Afterwards he returned to be and scooted next to her, careful not to wake her up. As he laid his head down she stirred and turned to him with a stretch that brought her leg above his hip and her arm over his shoulder. Her face came inches from his. Inside her semi-sleepy state she nuzzled her nose to his beard and exhaled his name before drifting off to sleep again. He pulled her in, yearning to steal some of her warmth and ability to sleep so peacefully.


	30. Divergent fires

Several days later, at the break of dawn and as the city was beginning to wake up from it's deep slumber, two figures were walking at the King's halls, in quiet companionship. One was the imposing ginger-head lieutenant with the bright green eyes and the handsome smile that Thorin had labelled as Dis's greatest threat. The other a dark haired stout dwarf, that had a rather attractive face and a distinct military bearing. He had his hands crossed behind his back and his eyes cast thoughtfully to the floor as they passed under the restored wall drapes that still had the claw marks of the dragon on them. As the bell stroke once to call upon the new day, they stopped and looked at each other with brotherly love.

"Dongar, I am so glad to be here", Nyrthrasir said.

"I am happy you are here too. Was it a difficult journey?" Dongar's hand landed on Nyrthrasir's shoulder.

"No more difficult than what me and my wife had to go through back in the IronHills", Nyrthrasir cast his eyes to the floor again, feeling distressed at that memory.

"What happened to you was the work of a devil. You didn't deserve such cruel punishment, even though you've made several very serious mistakes to end up in that dire position", Dongar raised his brow.

"Don't you think I know I messed up bad? I've been trying to find a way out of the IronHills ever since I was torn down. We barely had enough money to eat, Dongar. We were struggling everyday for the basics. No one wanted to employ me", Nyrthrasir shook his head and his eyes filled with tears.

"Here you have a second chance. Just please…please don't mess up again. Opportunities like these don't come thrice in a lifetime. You used your first chance in the IronHills. Don't destroy your second one", Dongar's voice had a tone of warning that made the other man gaze up gloomily.

"I'd rather die than blow our chances here. When I learned that there were openings in Erebor's new army I told Myrna that we had an opportunity to build a new life here" Nyrthrasir shook his head, "We travelled alone, deciding to keep away from any kind of company on purpose. When we arrived here and saw the walls of Erebor getting rebuild that hope flourished in our hearts. We joined the long lines of all the newcomers and patiently waited our turn to register. There was a sweet red headed girl that took our names that day and showed us in. When my eyes fell on the she-demon, I felt all my hopes crumbling to ash within the blink of an eye. Myrna was right next to me, poor woman, but thankfully she didn't understand my distress", he blanched at the memory of that accursed morning.

Dongar crossed his arms, "Did she recognise you?"

"Most certainly. She had arrived with all her court and her sister a few moments before we were allowed in. It was a just a strike of bad luck that we entered at that moment. Five minutes earlier or later and she would have missed me. She wouldn't have ever known that I was here. She'd be following the princess around and the King's court and I'd be out training with the rest of the soldiers with a heavy helmet on my head, practically unrecognisable".

Dongar raised his brow, "It was unlucky indeed. Did she speak to you?"

"She had the audacity to approach me and my wife as if we had always been family friends. She assumed that benevolent smile you know well and wished us the best of luck in our new life", Nyrthrasir rubbed his forehead. "At that moment she made me question my decision to relocate".

"Did she make any attempts to approach you again?"

"Thank heavens no. When I put down my name for the trials and they recruited me as a lieutenant, I thought she was going to repeat her usual antics, like she had done at the IronHills. I cannot suppose without error what is going on through that demonic mind of hers. Maybe she has found other victims, much more interesting than me".

"Possibly", Dongar frowned.

"I know I made a grave mistake and I've lived the rest of my days regretting it. I was in despair because our marriage was not going well, nevertheless I cannot be excused for what I did. I betrayed Myrna and acted against whatever is held sacred by our kin, but I cannot take back my vile actions. I've been unfaithful to my beloved wife, not only once with Karunn but several times over. When I told that evil woman that it was over, she threatened to reveal everything to Myrna unless I quit her uncle's army and become a miner. She wanted to take her revenge on me and see us suffer. We lost our money, our house and our prestige. My wife was forced to work as a cleaner in very harsh conditions and you know how poor her health is. Karunn never felt a hint of empathy for this kind hearted woman who did nothing wrong in this accursed love triangle. I think she was hoping for Myrna to abandon me or maybe die. Then she could reemerge as my guardian angel and offer to save me from my dire situation. Maybe if I had faced lord Fain, I could have broken the chains that she had twisted around me. Chains that she still holds with her little finger and threatens to tighten them around my neck in the smallest of causes once more. I am burdened with so much guilt towards my lovely wife and I fear for her life. Myrna is caught right in the middle and learning about my betrayal will kill her". Nyrthrasir closed his eyes dejected.

"You were dishonourable towards Myrna and downright idiotic to mess with Karunn just for a few moments of pleasure. She is one of the most dark, malevolent and manipulative creatures I have ever met, not that your grave mistakes didn't help all this. You allowed her to manipulate you close to destruction". Dongar rubbed his face.

"It was the most horrid deed of my miserable existence and it will haunt me forever. Especially when Karunn is around and I know that she is capable of tightening her grip on me. Is it true that she left, for only then I can breathe freely again", Nyrthrasir's eyes looked up impatiently.

"Yes she did. That was a rather peculiar situation…" Dongar frowned thoughtfully.

"I heard she left completely alone", Nyrthrasir raised his brows.

"Yes, a rather unexpected reaction", Dongar pursed his lips.

"She goes nowhere without her family. What she did is rather out of character, but I cannot deny that it gave me a huge breather. I don't want to be around her and I don't want her sniffing around Myrna. Especially now that we learned about her pregnancy. You know we've been trying to conceive for many years. I thought the maker would never bless our love with an offspring, exactly because of my betrayal". Nyrthrasir felt his eyes welling and averted them from his friend. "If Myrna ever learns the truth she's going to give up on life. Her heart had never been strong, but the last years she's grown weaker. She cannot suffer for my idiocy. I will do everything to protect her and our unborn child. You know how much I love her, despite my shortcomings".

Dongar smiled up brightly, "I know brother. Everyone here from our old comrades is happy about the pregnancy and above all me".

Nyrthrasir grasped his forearm and squeezed, "I want you to bless my child with the spirit of Vala Aule brother".

"I will", Dongar grinned happily.

"Myrna believes she conceived the first night we arrived here in Erebor! If that is not a sign that my family is exactly where it belongs in order to prosper, I don't know what is."

Dongar smiled, "It is a sign that you are not allowed to mess up again".

Nyrthrasir beamed up to him for the first time that evening, "I swear on my life that I will not. Now tell me, do you know what happened and that she-devil decided to take her dark energy away from this holy place? Bless Mahal's beard!"

"No one can tell with certainty. There are some rumours that the King cornered her about some incident with one of his staff and that heavy words had been thrown at her. Even Princess Dis is low on the details", Dongar shook his head.

"Playing around Oakenshield must equal playing around fire, but she is moronic enough to overlook common sense if she can satiate her animosity towards her victims. I wouldn't be surprised if she exposed her evil ways to the eyes of the King and made herself an easy target. Actually I hope that is what she did and she got stripped to the bones…if she has any", he frowned angrily.

"Don't underestimate your enemies my friend. I don't believe she's moronic. I wonder what she did that caused such a strong comeback from the King himself", Dongar said thoughtfully.

"We'll probably never learn. Do you know if he banned her from Erebor, or is she free to return?" Nyrthrasir's eyes held a shade of fear.

"That detail eludes me", Dongar pressed his lips.

"That doesn't make me feel safe", Nyrthrasir averted his eyes thoughtfully.

"I wouldn't worry so much. As long as you remain in the Lonely Mountain and Oakenshield is at the throne she won't be able to do anything to you. Her word has no value anymore to him and in consequence to his sister and his whole court. She made a grave mistake by exposing herself. The King has his eyes on her and damn is it a heavy gaze brother", Dongar wiped his forehead, for the first time betraying his own troubled mind.

Nyrthrasir raised his brow silently, "sounds like you are talking from personal experience. Does he have his eyes on you too perchance?"

"Yes! His stare is crashing me daily…", Dongar sighed, feeling truly spent from Thorin's torments.

Nyrthrasir sneered, "I've heard he's been cornering you about his sister".

"Oh, of course. Everybody's heard by now and those who haven't heard, have seen what he's been doing to me", Dongar's jaw flexed.

"Nothing stays hidden forever. Especially when you have the head of the seven families, right on your back".

"I am trying to keep low and stir clear from trouble, but he is heavy on my case", Dongar shook his head. "You know I've thought many times of returning back to the IronHills. Nothing I do for him or his sister satisfies him. On the contrary everything I do seems to annoy him".

"Why don't you go back home then?" Nyrthrasir raised his brow already knowing the answer.

Dongar exhaled feeling defeated, "I've got nothing back in the Ironhills. I have everything I want right here in Erebor. Ever since I laid eyes on her, I was instantly in love. I don't want to leave her alone here".

Nyrthrasir frowned, "The princess is hardly alone! She's got her brother who is the King of the damned stronghold, her son who is the heir to the throne, her cousin who is one of the butchers of Azanulbizar and all her ladies of honour. Don't act like she's a damsel in distress. It's quite the opposite actually. You are the one in distress, by having the King crashing your back to smithereens, just for looking at her".

Dongar rubbed his forehead feeling rather uncomfortable admitting this to his friend, "Plain and simple, I don't want to leave her side".

"You bloody idiot. She's a princess of the crown! You'll never be able to be with her. Maybe you should avert your eyes and pull back before things take a nasty turn, or explode right into your face", Nyrthrasir wised.

"She's a woman who lost her son. She needs all the care she can get", Dongar said and his eyes welled.

"You are projecting because you lost your wife in that accursed battle. You think her brother is not giving her any care? You think that Dongar, the knight in shining armour, must step in to console her?" Nyrthrasir shook his head dismissively.

"No, you troll's nose-hair! I want to offer her my company whenever she requires it. I need nothing more that the meagre allowances she offers me. Just standing next to her is enough for me", Dongar said annoyed.

"Well, you have to pass through the fires of Mount Doom to reach her apparently. I don't think Oakenshield is ready to hand her over to you", Nyrthrasir shook his head.

"No, he is not", Dongar agreed.

"What do you think of the King then, now that you had the opportunity to get to know him", Nyrthrasir asked quietly as they resumed their walk after a few silent moments.

"He's a bloody legend, the equals of which you cannot come across these days. Possibly the only one able to unite all the families under the King's gem and make the dwarven Kingdoms great once more. What more can I say about him?" Dongar's eyes were downcast.

"You admire him…"

"To the utmost, but he also terrifies me", Dongar smiled sadly, "I wish I could convince him about how honourable are my intentions towards his beloved sister…"

"Did you get a chance to talk to him?"

"Apart from my third degree you mean?" Dongar felt bitter.

Nyrthrasir snorted and shook his head, "He gave you one?"

"Oh, he did and it was rather painful. It was almost impossible to answer every personal question and keep my cool under such cold scrutiny, especially when I knew who it was that was asking me".

"So after that third degree, did you ask for a new audience?"

"Multiple times", Dongar winced.

"He didn't see you", Nyrthrasir get a certain nod.

"No. What do you think it's easy to get an audience from him?" Dongar pursed his lips.

"As a Lieutenant of Lord Dain's army, I'd thought it was", Nyrthrasir frowned.

"Not when he thinks you are after his sister. He makes my life hard every single second of the day. First he ordered Dain to diminish my rank in the army and forced me to do chores that some may consider dishonourable for a soldier, like cleaning toilets. Then he acted like I didn't exist whenever I tried to address him, in front of all my comrades, but above all in front of his sister. Then he persuaded Dain to remove me from my abode on the first levels where all the officers are based. I was ordered to raise a tent right outside the walls of Erebor. The only tent out there in the snow was mine and it was next to the bloody entrance so everyone could see me! Afterwards he relocated me as a sentinel at the outskirts of Erebor and forgot to relieve my shift for four days straight! When I returned to the city, I was blue and stuttering for half a day, before I could feel my heartbeat strong again and I am one of the toughest out there", Dongar sounded partly amused, partly annoyed by Thorin's shenanigans.

"Alright…it doesn't sound that bad. Nothing too exceptional. More or less what any lord would have done to a possible courtier of his sister", Nyrthrasir flicked a shoulder.

"Wait…You haven't heard the best of it yet", Dongar raised his brow.

"What?"

"When I returned from that nightmarish shift, he ordered his maiden to bring me all the dirty laundry of Princess Dis. When I asked her what I was supposed to do with it, the poor girl was unable to deliver Oakenshield's orders loud enough. That's how degrading they were", Dongar shook his head.

"What the hell did he made you do?" Nyrthrasir crossed his arms truly amused.

"I had to wash the Princess's clothes, alongside all the cleaning dames, in the River Running, on a day where our comrades had a training session next to the river! Hang them out to dry and bring them back to her in a laundry basket in the middle of the day through the main hall!" Dongar's face mounted red.

Nyrthrasir broke down to a roaring laughter.

"Shut up! You had to see the faces of our comrades when I did it! I was not only ridiculed by Oakenshield, but by them afterwards. They knew what I was being punished for and said I deserved it!"

"Did you take the clothes to the Princess?" Nyrthrasir wiped away his nose and still felt traces of mirth bubbling in his stomach.

"Of course. I entered her room loftily and gave her the clean clothes. When she turned to me confused, I told her that it was my honour to take care of her laundry and if she needed anymore help I would be more than happy to do her bidding", Dongar smiled brightly.

"Oh, you sly bastard, you turned that around pretty well!" Nyrthrasir grinned.

Dongar nodded, "Was a nice twist in this tag between me and the King. I don't know if she ever confronted him with what happened, but I never got another laundry order. Now I await my next torture…"

"Were there any petty-coats in that laundry by the way?" Nyrthrasir raised his brows.

"No, you twisted old goat! What do you take them for, idiots?" Dongar shook his head and Nyrthrasir laughed again heartily.

Several voices that were coming from the other side of the wall, interrupted their mirth and they turned around to check what was happening. Three soldiers run through the entrance and their faces betrayed that something rather serious had taken place.

"What's going on?!" Dongar grabbed one by the arm and stopped him.

The soldier looked at him and tried to catch his breath, "Fire, south-east halls, fifth level mining caverns, furnace number four collapsed on workers. King's advisor amongst the trapped. We have to notify the King!"

His recount was straight as an arrow and to the point. Dongar released him and gave Nyrthrasir an apprehensive look before bolting towards the direction the soldiers came from and to the corridors that led down to the fifth level. The entrance was filled with confused commoners and soldiers alike that had no clear idea what was going on down in the deep.

* * *

Just as mayhem was taking place in the fifth levels, in Thorin's bedroom there was perfect peace and quiet. They were sleeping in his bed after making love almost through the whole previous evening. In his sleep he had turned away from her and was now sprawled on his side of the bed in prone position, his upper body totally uncovered and the remaining blanket somewhere between his upper thighs and his bare buttocks. It was the soft caress of her nails that send the first goosebumps waking up his skin and alerting his brain….and weren't those nails truly playful that morning? They started from of his shoulder blades and met at the middle of his back. There they lingered as they counted every star of Durin and then outlined the crown. They gathered his long hair in a ponytail and tucked it above his shoulder, before playfully gliding around his stiff deltoids. He exhaled and placed his palm under his cheek intending to enjoy thoroughly what she was trying to do to him. Her fingers skimmed over every exposed inch of skin and mauled every muscle, slowly going lower and lower. When they reached the small of his back, he visibly tense and she snorted.

"You're playing with fire", his voice was coarse.

"Oh, did I wake you up?" she pretended to be surprised.

"You woke up several parts of me", he said acutely.

"Wonderful. Good morning handsome. I keep finding you next to me every morning. You haven't made a run for it yet, so I will reward your bravery. Especially now that I am beginning to learn what makes you tick", she whispered and her fingers offered their place to her nails that floated softly above his buttocks and began an airy caress that made him tense even more.

He looked above his shoulder, "You woke up in a good mood this morning".

"Wasn't that expected after what you did to me yesterday? What more would anyone want to be in a good mood?" She said smoothly and her small hands squeezed his tight muscles fervently.

He stifled a groan on the pillow and felt his already weighty morning arousal, pressing onto the mattress, "Are you sore this morning?"

She moved her hips around and looked thoughtfully at the ceiling of his bed, "Nope…just wet, warm and eager for another session, men gonnaz khuzi*"

He huffed, "where have you been hiding all this inferno Eilin? You are so delicate, I am always afraid I am going to break you…", he said, but his words were cut mid sentence by a sharp intake of breath, when he felt her full and firm breasts touching the small of his back. Then her wet mouth planted a warm kiss on his spine that made him heave. She straddled him and massaged his back with her upper body, while planting wet kisses all over his shoulder blades. Her thighs clamped hard around his hips, keeping him locked under her.

"You like this?" She whispered and her lips ghosted on his exposed nape.

His prickled skin answered to her, long before his mouth admitted a defeated, "Oh, yes".

"I yearn to make your strong body relax…" she said and her tongue came out to lap at the side of his neck.

His hand came up and cupped the back of her head, keeping her to him, "you are not making me relax…I can tell you that with certainty".

"What am I doing to you then?" She whispered and skimmed her chaffed nipples on his sensitive skin.

His sharp gasp was followed by a chocked laugh, "we are in the wrong position right now for me to show you…"

She opened up her mouth and her teeth nipped his skin making his skin break with goosebumps. "I like you like this. It gives me ample space to grope you", her hands tracked down his sides, enjoying his strong muscles tightening in response, before attempting to burrow between the mattress and his stomach.

His fingers sank hungrily into her long mane and he pulled her up until their lips locked gently. Then her hand sneaked under his hip bone and palmed his erection with a self assurance that tore a broken moan away from him. "Oh, that is what I am doing to you. Alright, I have no problems with that".

"Eilin, for heaven's sake….have mercy this morning", he frowned feeling both tremendously aroused and annoyed.

"I will, now kiss me", she dared his lips.

His mouth opened up to give her an unbridled kiss that erupted a river of lava between her legs. She allowed him all dominance of her mouth as her small hand wrapped around his substantial thickness. Every thrust of her fist send a groan from his mouth into her throat and a new onrush of fire into her loins that clenched with the need to feel him.

"More…", she muttered wanting to see him unravel, to delight at the look of orgasmic abandon on his face, like he had done to her so many times. It was so arousing to have so much control over this man's pleasure that she never wanted to stop now that she had the upper hand. She wanted his every groan and blissful expression, to be devoted to her. She kept a steady pace on him, hungrily taking in the sudden mounting of colour on his cheeks and the way his free hand had made a tight ball of the sheets. Her body shivered by how easily his hips lifted both of them off from the mattress in order to allow her the freedom to play. Her breath became heavier just by looking at him in ecstasy. She didn't even feel her lower body bucking on his buttocks in a desperate need to offer herself some relief from the painful heat that throbbed in her nether regions, even though he had hardly touched her.

When she burrowed her other hand under him and gripped two fists around him, his breathy, appreciative moan was enough to make her smile on his back. He thighs clamped even harder around him and her tongue came out to taste the saltiness of his sweaty skin. The moment her lips touched the side of his neck gently and her nose inhaled his muskiness, he grabbed her hair roughly. His face settled and his jawline flexed, "firmer…", he whispered with such rich half-broken undertones that her body responded with a new flow of wetness.

She bit her lower lip and she followed his intstructions, "like this?"

"Yes", the word was barely heard. As he was coming closer and closer to the ultimate bliss and his body was becoming undone, her need to feel him inside her became almost unbearable.

Her onslaught continued almost breathlessly from both sides, until she felt his chest hitching under her breasts and his erection throbbing. Then she knew he was there and she counted inwards for him, "I want everything from you", she whispered. Those words held a far deeper meaning than the carnal intimacy of the moment. His thick brows came together and he drew in a ragged breath as he stood right at the edge of the precipice.

"You have everything", he whispered and her fists allowed him to sail free. His fingers twisted painfully around her mane and brought her down with him. Several broken vowels thundered with his deep voice into the room. She sucked the softness of his neck as the convulsions of his weighty arousal warmed her palms with his want. Each spurt from him, send a hungry clasp at her inner muscles that remained unsatisfied as she was left behind in this sudden morning trip to the ultimate ecstasy.

She delighted on his burning skin, on the jerks of his strong hips and at his animalistic sounds that woke up a deep carnal part of herself. Something that now screamed for satisfaction."Sweet heaven Thorin! That was amazing…", she exhaled, not understanding how his eruption had caused her, shortness of breath.

"Your enthusiasm is probably going to kill me", he said trying to catch his breath.

She butted her face onto his nape like a cat, "I thought it was time for me to experiment a little bit on you. Been learning a lot of tricks and I was putting them in store for future use. Did I do good?"

His hand came down and his fingers hooked under her knee keeping her in place, afraid that she was going to pull away from him. He yearned to continue feeling her solid weight, preferably with him turned the other way around, "I can barely catch my breath. What do you think?"

"Perfect, now it's your turn", she whispered and gave him a wet kiss on his nape that made all his hair stand in attention anew.

He leaned his forehead on the mattress trying to gather his scattered brains well enough, in order to reciprocate her services. That is how the urgent knock on the door found them. Him barely breathing as he was trying to return back to reality from one of the most explosive orgasms he had accomplished with Eilin, and with her rocking against his buttocks, trying to make him fill her painful void in some manner.

They both froze and all their sexual overload got grounded hard. She pulled back terrified, "Who's that?"

"Shush", he whispered and waited. For what, he didn't know…it wasn't as if the people that found it necessary to knock on his doors before the break of dawn were going to change their minds and leave, but some stupid thread of his mind hoped they would. Maybe he waited for his racing heart to calm down before it gave up on him. Or maybe he waited for his fading erection to stop wanting more from her.

"My King!" A voice called and then the intense rapping resumed on the panel of his doors.

"Damned beardless rats…" he exhaled into the mattress and counted inwards, trying to gather back the threads that she had unfolded so easily.

"Thorin…maybe you should answer…" the look she gave at the door had a trace of trepidation.

"What?!" He grumbled so suddenly that Eilin jerked back scared.

A small pause outside his door and then the voice resumed, "We have an emergency my King!"

"What kind of an emergency?!" He sat up and cleared his face from his sweaty hair, feeling truly mad.

Eilin's scared expression mellowed into embarrassed sweetness when her eyes fell at the result of her morning ministrations weeping from the loss of her hand, and the large stain on his sheets, becoming a testament of her skilful work. "I wanted that for a few more things…just so you'd know", she whispered and pointed down at him.

"We are far from over, young lady. I'm going to kill them and come back", he stood up and wore his tunic with a menacing look that didn't go well with his words.

She giggled and rudely enjoyed the view of his strong body, bearing a half fading arousal until he put on his trousers.

"An accident my King! There is a fire, south-east halls, fifth level mining caverns, furnace number four collapsed", the voice cried.

His eyes sobered up quickly as he put on his boots, "I am coming!" His voice instantly regained composure and he looked at Eilin for a brief grave moment that was enough to erase the sexy glow from her cheeks. Her eyes widened in fear and she cupped her mouth. He opened the door carefully and pushed back the soldier that was ready to come in. He closed it securely and looked at the man.

"How the hell did that happen?"

"Explosion Sir", the soldier said.

"Do we have injuries?"

"We don't know yet. Several workers are trapped and your advisor is amongst them. Prince Fili is down there with lord Dwalin", the soldier said and bowed respectfully.

"What?" Clouds of urgent uncertainty passed from his brow.

"We are at your orders, Sir", The soldier stood up.

"Balin is down there?" He winced confused.

"He's trapped Sir!"

He suddenly wanted to ask every question that came to his mind. How the hell did Balin end up trapped under an exploding furnace. Why was he down there in the first place. He wanted to grab the soldier by the lapels and scream at his face demanding the answers, but his logic told him that this man knew nothing. His eyes fixed at the corridor and he pushed the soldier back as his body was overtaken by an urgency that scattered easily all the reminders of Eilin's morning adventures away. He stormed into the room in a manner that made Eilin cover herself surprised, "What happened?"

He shook his head and rushed over at her. He grasped her behind the head and crashed his lips on hers, in a quick but giving kiss. "I need to go. Stay at the upper levels and near the entrance". He spoke upon her lips with a voice that was slightly shaking.

"Thorin you are scaring me, what happened?"

He pulled back and ran to the door, "there is a fire in the lower levels. Do me a favour and stay near the entrance. I want you to get out in the first suspicion of smoke", his eyes were grave, silently demanding her obedience.

She jumped off the bed and grabbed his forearm. Her eyes were filled with dread, "You are not going down there, are you?"

"Of course I am. You stay up, is that understood?" he frowned and his large palm grasped her forearm back with such strength that she immediately released him.

She shook her head confounded, "I don't want you to leave me...no", she whispered not understanding the severity of the situation.

"Stay near the entrance and get my sister there too, is that clear?" he said intoning each word grievously.

She wanted to grab onto him and not allow him a step outside the safe confinements of their room, but his weighty gaze that demanded her full attention, made her sober up quickly. She nodded weakly and felt her eyes welling with tears as sudden fear gripped her insides.

He didn't linger to look at that. He went out like a hurricane and crashed the door behind him. Eilin tightened her grip on the sheets around her naked body and jerked at the sound and at the finality of that action. Then her tears released wet and hot, burning her skin, in the stead of his lips. This was the first time since he recovered that she felt truly afraid for his life and under the new light of her deep feelings for him, that fear, turned quickly into full blown terror. She kneeled heavily on the floor trying to stop her body from shaking as she didn't know in what condition he was going to come back from the inferno that burned deep into the bowels of Erebor...and she felt weak...

...weak and unable to help him. Little did she know that these were ancient, overworn feelings that women of soldiers felt every time their men marched into battle. She was ill equipped to process that new horrifying feeling of seeing the man you love walk away from you and towards danger. This was the first time that she felt her body numbing down in dread at the prospect of never seeing him again and the realisation of how much she loved him, hit her like rock avalanche, stealing her breath away. She didn't even have the chance to speak those bloody accursed words that she was afraid so much. She didn't even get to tell him how much she loved him. That thought alone broke out the first sobs from her chest. She remained there kneeling and crying out her despair, swearing to the maker that if Thorin returned back in one piece she'd reveal her feelings to him, both with words and with as many actions as her poor heart could offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * my powerful warrior


	31. A small wooden dove

Thorin charged through the corridors like he was the one on fire and not the lower levels. With legs yet unstable, he forgot the ecstasy that Eilin's hands offered him as the terrifying possibility of the soldier's words took tight hold on him. What the hell was Balin doing down there anyway? Why wasn't he sleeping peacefully in his rooms at this ungodly hour?

He entered the King's Halls dragging along with him an air of urgency that send several people scattering away from him. His eyes fell on Bombur, "blow the horn twice!". His voice boomed into the large cavern.

"There's a fire?" Bombur's eyes widened in alarm.

"Yes!" his deep grumble set the Bombur in action, along with several others that started running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

Even though he didn't order anyone to come with him, he heard several hurried boots following him down to the fifth level. If outrunning Smaug had been really trying, this sprint was even more demanding. Almost three full moons ago he had barely been able to stand without the assistance of a cane yet now he was leading the run effortlessly, proving that the famous dwarven resilience was not a myth. They passed over long bridges, and under tall archways. Down winding staircases with golden railings and past areas of inhabited houses. Panicked families inquired about the emergency that the horns were blowing in the upper levels, and it was the familiar voices of his comrades, not him, that ordered people to evacuate because of the fire. As they dashed down the spiralling walkway of the fourth-level caverns, that was dangling above a huge chasm of vertical mining tunnels the first whiff of smoke attacked their senses. Nori's hand wrapped around his bicep and stalled him. He looked back panting and partly confused.

"The smoke is black down there, this is a folly. Let us go in your stead", Nori's eyes filled with dread.

His eyes gave a silent warning at his comrade. He jerked his arm free and moved to the direction of the thick smoke, totally ignoring Nori's offer. Immediately upon coming face to face with the large doorway that led to the fifth-level furnaces, his heart stopped beating. The black smoke was so heavy that he couldn't see past the runes that were sculpted above the arch of the entrance. He covered his face and entered in the black nothingness. For a few alarming moments he couldn't see anything, never mind hope that anyone had survived this chaos. The smoke dispersed slightly as he staggered deeper and that is when his eyes began making out the scene of destruction. A whole furnace had collapsed, trapping several men under a heavy column. Chains had been thrown around it and two rows of men were struggling to lift it up. He heard the voice of his nephew and looked up. He was in front of the huge water spouts, orchestrating the effort.

It was imperative that they offered the deadly smoke a way out or else it was going to choke whoever hadn't died from the fire or that heavy debris. "The air vents, get the air vents" he hurled back to Nori and pointed across the room. He picked up the first hammer available and ran past the collapsed furnace that had spread the fire to several wooden pillars and wall panels.

He found the levers and prayed to Mahal that they weren't stuck from remaining unutilized for so many centuries, or that the chimney exits on the top of the mountain were not blocked by nature. The first hammer fall on the lever didn't work. He tightened his teeth and felt stupidly angry at that piece of metal machinery as he dropped the hammer a second time. That ferocious strike did it. A loud bang came above his head and debris covered his hair as the first air vent opened. His apprehension of Balin's state took a back seat and offered the wheel to his adrenaline that pumped hot in his blood and made him growl towards each lever he found in his way. Nori met him half way through, having released all the air vents from the other side. They looked up as the smoke began channeling through the chimneys. Thorin threw the hammer down and zigzagged amongst the fallen debris searching for Balin, but instead he saw Dwalin, in one of the rows pulling the heavy iron chains that were wrapped around the heaviest column. His eyes followed the broken body of the huge pillar and he saw Balin buried under it along with several others that were trying to get free.

"Oh, for the love of Mahal", he spat and then turned to his nephew. "Fili, throw a chain under that broken half pipe and pull it up to that locked water spout!" He cried.

Fili took over the task with formidable determination, leading a group of several men towards the fallen half pipe.

Without any consideration for what he was about to do, or empathy for himself, he joined one row and wrapped the heavy iron chain around his stomach. The elderly worker that was in front of him felt the weight lifting off his broken back and looked up to this huge dwarf that was twisting the massive chain around his body and forearm as if it was nothing. The King gritted his teeth and pulled so fiercely that the chain stretched and rattled, swinging the elder into the air, letting his feet dangle a few inches from the ground. Thorin squeezed his eyes and exhaled painfully as his wound awoke more violently than he had anticipated, yet he didn't stop. He took a step back, pulling along with him several dwarves that were trying to get their footing…then another low groan of pain released from his chest as he took a second step back…and a third and a fourth ... and then blood began staining his tunic, but still nothing was enough to stop him from carrying around his wounded body most of the weight of that formidable pillar.

It was Dwalin's voice that made him reopen his eyes, "they are almost free Thorin!"

He looked at the result of his agonising labour, "Go get your brother!" His thick voice reverberated and Dwalin released his chain and dashed to find Balin. The second row that this formidable dwarf was supporting, got drawn forth several steps from the loss of his tremendous strength.

The column took a sudden dive and many screamed in fear. Thorin's jawline flexed as the chain around his waist dug ruthlessly onto his open wound. He counted inwards and twisted his thick forearm around the metal rings pulling with all his might. After a few terrifying moments he managed to balance out the loss of Dwalin. The maroon stain on his tunic, reached the band of his trousers and his arms began trembling. He opened up his eyes with difficulty and looked at Fili that had brought up the broken pipe in level with the spout.

"Pull down the handspike!" he cried.

Instantly the heavy metal door slid open and water got derailed by the broken pipe onto the fire. The smoke became thick once more as the fire got extinguished and Thorin could do little but pray to both Mahal and Eru for help. Inside his daze it was the voice of Dongar that offered him the much needed help, not the Gods.

"I am here Sir, let me help you!", the dirty lieutenant cried, half expecting Thorin to ignore him once more, or act like he didn't even exist.

He felt then chain loosening around his waist as the lieutenant disentangled it from Thorin's body and twisted it around his.

"Thank you", he whispered, not certain that Dongar was able to hear him, but more than grateful for this unexpected help.

Thorin wrapped his forearm around the bulky chain and pulled alongside Dongar. The column got lifted a few more inches to the relief of many. Then it was a matter of keeping the column steady until everyone was released. When Dwalin's voice told them to put it back down, Thorin felt giddily tantalised to release the chain and let that massive piece of masonry fall, without caring for the consequences. He was shaking like a leaf from the overexertion and he hadn't seen the extension of his bleeding. The immense weight of the column though would have turned the chain a deadly weapon to everyone in the rows, so they all co-operated patiently until it as placed down safely.

Thorin released himself from the chain and overlooked Dongar's worried words, "Sir, you are bleeding".

He run, as if his life depended on it, to the unconscious body of Balin and pushed Dwalin out of the way. His eyes filled with tears and his heart trembled at the impossible. His hoarse voice boomed inside the cavern, "Balin…!"

Dwalin was crying, "I cannot wake him up….Thorin…I cannot".

Thorin's expression turned into that of a confused dwarfling that found it impossible to come to grips with what he was seeing, but that lasted little as his eyes became fury unmatched quickly. "Oh, no he won't. He won't die", he cried and slapped Balin so hard that his face jerked sideways. "Wake up, you troll's armpit!" He waited for a moment and on seeing no reaction he slapped him again with the back of his hand, "I said wake up! You won't die on me!". His hand came down again and again fiercely strong on Balin's face, until Dwalin's hand stalled him.

Thorin looked at him confused.

"It's my turn!", he yelled and raised his hand to hit his own brother awake, when a weak cough came under them and they both looked down in shock. "Oh Moria's pits! Brother, can you hear me?" Dwalin fell on his chest and tried to listen for a heartbeat.

"Yes, I can you beardless daft! Stop thwacking me both of you!" Balin coughed and tried to push Dwalin away.

"He is alive, he is alive", Dwalin laughed and cried at the same time.

"Good…now I can kill him myself!" Thorin grabbed him by the lapels, "what the hell are you doing down here? Find a good bloody excuse because I am so angry at you right now I don't know what's keeping me from sending you to meet your honourable father!"

"You mangled my face just to kill me afterwards laddie? Calm down, I am okay. I just passed out from the smoke…", Balin coughed and tried to turn on his side, but when his leg moved he cringed in pain.

"Why did you come here in the first place?" Thorin spat between gritted teeth. His heart was still racing.

"Couldn't sleep," he coughed and tried to turn the other way, but Thorin pulled his lapels keeping him there, "found Fili and we came down to check this furnace. The workers found us at the dining room and related their concerns about it".

"Fili is responsible for the furnaces and for good reason, rukhsul menu! You are too old for these games", Thorin hurled at his face and gave him another mighty pull, trying to shake him back to reason.

Balin managed a tired smile, "I know you mean well and that you are worried to death, but right now you are choking me".

Thorin exhaled hard and released his lapels. Then he rested on his heels and rubbed his forehead, "don't ever pull such a trick on me again Balin", his voice was diminished as all his wrath got suddenly grounded.

"I will not my boy", Balin said emotionally.

Dwalin fell on his chest and embraced his brother wordlessly. The silent sobs coming from his outwardly stony personality were enough to induce tears to everyone around them, especially Thorin who averted his eyes in order to keep himself in check.

"I am alright my brother", Balin grasped Dwalin's forearm. Then he reached out for Thorin's hand who reciprocated quickly. "My King…." Thorin's eyes welled again, "thank you for being here for me…"

Thorin smiled bitterly, "Where else would I be you mindless bat?"

Balin smiled up to him sweetly and Thorin closed his eyes, needing to stop the unexpected emotional vortex that had overtaken him. "Are you wounded?" he forced himself to ask.

"My knee and thigh. I think they are broken", Balin winced and looked at his thigh that was bleeding.

"Gloin help Dwalin carry Balin up and notify your brother that he's got work to do", Thorin said. The sturdy redheaded dwarf nodded and gathered everyone around Balin.

"I need to stay and help you with the wounded", Balin said and made to get up.

"Lay down you gibbering gherkin. You were passed out, inhaling smoke for more than an hour, your are half broken and now you want to get up and help? Let's get him up before I kill him myself", Dwalin grumbled at his comrades angrily.

"Take him out", Thorin nodded in the direction of the exit.

Dwalin picked up his brother and looked back at Thorin, "when I see him up there safe, I will come down for you".

Thorin waved him away, "Get out of here Dwalin. I'm fine. Notify Dain that we need soldiers down here to carry up the wounded. Tell them to ready the infirmary on the ground floor. The rest of you help Oin, he'll need as many hands as he can get".

Dwalin nodded and gave him a final guarded look before disappearing through the door with several of their comrades.

That left him with Fili, young Ori and a silently observant Dongar a few steps away, whose eyes never left the King's bloody tunic. "Fili take Ori and go check on the wounded. Ask their names and notify their families", his voice was barely heard and he felt dizzy, still though no one apart from Dongar had noticed through all the dirt and soot how bloody he was. Especially in his kneeling position.

Young Ori took out his book and followed the prince. The men that were still standing were eager to offer information on the wounded so Fili and Ori didn't have much trouble getting names, professions and closest family members as they waited for their comrades to send help from the top floors.

Dongar kneeled next to Thorin that sat there with his arm above his stomach and his eyes closed. "Sir, you are bleeding", he repeated.

Thorin looked down at himself and frowned in mild disbelief at the extent of the damage he had done to himself, "Keep your voice down lieutenant. I don't want to alert my nephew. I am well aware".

"Can I offer you my help?" Dongar said quietly.

Thorin felt his throat painfully dry from all that smoke, "What are you doing down here?"

"The moment I learned about the fire I came to offer my assistance", Dongar said with no hesitations.

Thorin's eyes fell heavily on him for several silent moments. He weighed the lieutenant quietly before speaking, "get me a piece of cloth. Anything…torn, destroyed, I don't care. Just make sure it's long enough", he whispered and pressed his wound above the tunic, feeling it sipping with blood.

Dongar nodded and left.

The fire had been totally extinguished, but the burned wooden panels and columns were still sizzling and the large cavern had that intense scent of destruction. Black soot was covering everything and everyone, but especially the floor that was smeared in black tar. He looked wretchedly at that black thick mud rolling down the natural tilt of the floors and filling up the golden pipes...his heart fell. The heavy moans and groans all around, called on his attention. He turned around and looked at the man that closest to him. He was writhing in pain with his arm burned so severely that the cotton of his tunic was sticking onto his destroyed skin, "He-lp, wat-er".

Thorin gritted his teeth and pushed himself up with great difficulty, "Hold on", he took a couple of steps before the dizzy spell reappeared forcing him to kneel down heavily again.

"Will this do?" Dongar's hand grabbed his shoulder offering his unexpected help and support once more.

Thorin took the large dirty piece of clothing and lifted up his tunic. His wound had broken open near the top and was pumping blood steadily with each breath he took. He twisted the cloth around his torso with the help of Dongar. Remembering Oin's advice, even if it was too late into the game, he made a knot so tight that he groaned in pain and doubled down. Dongar's hand squeezed him, "steady Sir".

"Check on that man. He was asking for water. Wet any scattered cloth and put it on top of his burned arm to cool it down", he said and nodded with his head at the man that asked for his help before.

Dongar ran to his bidding once again with incomparable eagerness. Thorin grabbed his knees with his hands and tried hard to regain control over his body. The dizziness was coming and going, but it was not getting any worse. It took the lieutenant several tries to find a cloth, wet it and bring it to the wounded man. By the time he managed to bring him some water to drink, Thorin had managed to stand up and come over to them, "What's your name?" He said and came down to his knees. His large palm cupped the shivering man's forehead.

"Nipvari my lo-rd", the man tried hard to focus on the eyes of the one who looked like the King.

"Are you wounded anywhere else apart from your arm?" Thorin checked on his body.

"Hurts too much, both co-ld and h-ot…he-lp me," the man shook and closed his eyes.

Thorin motioned Dongar to take off his vest, which the man did eagerly and threw it above the worker's body, "Better friend?" The lieutenant asked.

Nipvari swallowed hard and tried a smile that faded, "Y-es", then his eyes turned eagerly at that lofty looking, large dwarf that was looking at him with such care.

"You got a family here Nipvari?" Thorin asked him and caressed his long bloody hair away from his forehead.

"Yes, me wi-fe Lóa and my wee dau-ghter Lís", the man groaned and closed his eyes. His body was visibly shaking as if from loss of blood, but Thorin was unable to see any under him.

He frowned and gave a guarded look at Dongar who shook his head, "Are you a miner?"

"Y-es", the man opened up his eyes for a moment before closing them again. He jerked suddenly.

"I don't know if he is hurt somewhere else, but he needs medical attention immediately", Dongar looked at Thorin.

He nodded grimly, "When did you arrive at Erebor?"

"Two we-eks ago. Eva-cua-ted vill-age….orc att-acks…", he tried a smile that failed and then was shaken by a heavy cough that made him arch in pain.

Thorin winced and placed his other hand on his chest to steady him, "try not to move so much".

"Pa-in…", the man hissed.

"Go up and see where are the reinforcements. He needs to be checked by Oin", he said acutely.

Dongar bowed respectfully and ran to his orders. Thorin turned his attention to the wounded man, "Tell me what's your daughter's favourite game", he forced a smile and pulled the man on his lap to keep him steady.

"Hi-de go sh-eek," the man smiled and saliva ran down the side of his long beard. His free hand came up and found Thorin's that was on his chest. He clasped it hard enough to induce pain, "I always fe-ared that I was go-ing to lose her for-ever when she was hi-ding from me…"

Thorin winced and his nose flared.

"Guess wh-at?…now she will pro-bably lo-se me forever…" the man whispered and forced his eyes to open.

He released the man's hand when he felt something warm sipping through the side of his thigh and looked under him. His heart dropped into a frozen lake of despair when he saw that there was a large iron piece with the emblem of the longbeards embedded on this man's back. Blood was sipping down the floor and through the cracks, getting mingled with the black tar and moving towards the golden pipes. That is why he didn't see notice any blood before. This man was much more seriously wounded that he had originally thought.

"Hold on friend. Your daughter will see you again, I promise. What else does she like to play?", he said and his eyes filled with unbidden tears. His hand lingered above the iron shard. If he removed it, the man would certainly bleed to death.

"She li-kes tag o war…" the man cringed and twisted out of his grasp, trying to alleviate the pain from his side, something that only now Thorin understood.

"Did you play with her a lot?" Thorin forced himself to smile.

"Every sing-le day…" the man raised a trembling hand and Thorin saw his eyes glazing slowly.

"Oh, come on, stay with me", he said and pulled the man's head on his torso protectively, "Your family needs you, do you hear me?"

The man nodded and closed his eyes, then his fingers climbed up Thorin's dirty tunic and traced his beard, "You are the King, aren't you?"

Thorin swallowed hard and nodded.

"My father had drawings of the old Kings…you have King Thror's eyes, the sa-me colour," he coughed and tensed with a groan of pain, "the same kind-ness", he hissed.

"Don't speak more, hold your breath", Thorin's eyes filled with grief.

"Told Lóa I was going to me-et you….th-ank you for giving my ugh.." The man arched up and Thorin felt more blood staining his thigh.

"Steady, breathe…" he said quietly.

"for gi-ving my family a cha-nce to a better life. Give this to Lóa, pl-ease", he said and took off a leather string necklace he wore and gave it to Thorin with an unsteady hand. It was a small wooden dove. The face of Eilin, his own little precious dove, came out of nowhere to undo him. He took it with equally trembling hands and nodded unable to speak.

"Te-ll them I love them and take care of them…pl-ease", the man's face was swimming with tears.

"I will", Thorin nodded, unable to hold on to his own tears.

The man smiled up at him and slowly he faded away into nothing. His hand slid down empty and his head rolled back as a final throaty groan left his chest. Thorin pressed the necklace tight in his dirty fist and searched for the man's pulse….there was none. He pushed back away from him and stood up feeling more emotional than he had been in a long time. He took several steps away unable to stop the silent sob that left his strong chest. He had seen too many people die, but the death of this miner…this stranger…had touched him more deeply than he had ever anticipated.

"Uncle, are you alright?" Fili, grabbed his forearm tightly and looked at him, in great trepidation.

"Where is Ori?" He said with a husky voice that almost tore through his vocal chords.

"Here Sir", the young dwarf said.

"Nipvari, miner. His wife is Loa, his daughter Lis. They arrived two weeks ago. Find them for me".

"He is dead", Fili checked for a heartbeat.

"Anyone else with the same fate?" He said without turning, but his fist tightened almost painfully around the wooden necklace.

"No uncle. Are you alright?" Fili came in front of him.

"better than him…" he said bitterly.

"Is this your blood?" Fili frowned.

Thorin shook his head quietly.

"Did you bleed?" Fili made to lift his tunic, but Thorin's heavy hand stalled him.

"Less than he did son and he's got a family to support. He has a daughter", he said and fresh tears sprang from his eyes almost violently, at how unfair life seemed to him right now. There he was, having been given a second chance in life. He had no family, no children and yet there he was. While this man who had people around that loved and needed him, died. Was Vala Aule as fair as they all thought him to be…or some drunken deity that had no idea what he was doing most of the time? Fili pressed his forearm deeply concerned, but turned towards the entrance when Dain and Gloin entered, followed by several soldiers.

"Go help them", he said to his nephew.

"You need help also", Fili was obviously upset by the state of his uncle.

"I need to go upstairs and see Balin. Remain here in my stead son and look after the wounded please", he said feeling unbearably emotional.

Fili looked at him reluctantly, hanging back.

Thorin pushed himself to smile, "I need your help down here".

Fili's eyes were full of dread, "alright uncle", he said clearly not convinced.

Thorin nodded and walked as steadily as he could out of the door. He didn't want to worry his nephew anymore, nor look at the dead miner whose wooden dove was crashed inside his palm. He walked pensively with his head low and his eyes meticulously counting the cracks on the floor, when the voice of Dongar once more drew his attention.

"Sir, let me assist you up. You need medical attention and clean air", he said humbly.

Thorin looked at him partly lost.

"Some water might also do you good", Dongar placed down the bucket of clean water he had carried all the way from the top.

Thorin filled the cup that was floating in the bucket and drank hungrily. Then he splashed some on his dirty face, before feeling the need to offer the first sad, but genial smile at the lieutenant, "Thank you for helping us today. I shall never forget it".

Dongar kneeled respectfully, "It was my honour to help you Sir".

Thorin blinked at the empty corridor thoughtfully for several heavy moments. When his weary mind came to a resolution he turned at the lieutenant and said, "follow me". He resumed his grieving walk up to the entrance. He didn't stop for anyone that asked him with concern if he was alright, since his bloody tunic and trousers told a story of their own. He passed majestically through the King's halls, not addressing Bombur's anxious onslaught. His mind was reeling stubbornly around the image of the miner that died with such anguish and bestowed on Thorin the protection of his family. The death of a man that made him realise what really mattered in his life. When he walked steadily up the steps, his dizziness had already faded to a mere ghost that was at the edge of his consciousness vaguely reminding him that he had lost a significant amount of blood. Dongar, and Bombur were following close behind, overburdening him with their solicitude, but their words were not passing through to him. Only the wooden dove buried in his hard palm made sense to him now.

When he opened the door of Balin's room he saw that everyone from Thorin's company was already there, including his sister and Eilin. His eyes fell on the beautiful redhead that had turned his world upside down and his hand squeezed the dove so hard it broke through his skin. Dis and Eilin bolted to him simultaneously and stopped at the same time looking at each other. Eilin quickly averted her eyes and felt sobs raking her throat. Dis's beautiful blue eyes looked taken aback, but when she looked at her bloody brother everything else became secondary. She fell on him protectively, "Are you alright?!"

"I am alright", he whispered and embraced her back.

"Why is there blood all over you?" her words freed Eilin's sobs that pierced through his heart and mind like no other sound could have done.

"Give me a moment please", he said and lifted his eyes with difficulty to his comrades.

Everyone was looking at him solemnly almost imperatively. "Balin?" He looked at his old advisor that was lying in bed.

"He is well lad. I fixed his thigh and he will be ready to walk within a couple of days, but I really think I should take a look at you. What happened down there?" Oin said and stood up.

He didn't answer. He caressed his sister's braids gently and placed a soft kiss on the top of her forehead.

"Is this your blood laddie? When did that happen and I didn't notice, for heaven sake..." Balin sat up and pushed his blanket away from his body.

"Thorin?" Dwalin took several concerned steps to his direction.

He raised his hand, "I am well, now allow me a few words", he said sternly. "Lieutenant Dongar proved his loyalty to the Longbeards beyond any doubt today. I will offer him Erebor's knighthood within the next few days and a place amongst the royal guards. Anyone who has any objections, speak of them now".

Dis pulled back to look at his eyes. "Thorin, really?" She whispered.

He caressed her cheek feeling exhausted. "He is an honourable man, gerbil". The ghostly uptilt of his lips made her squeeze him tight.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you", she chanted.

"No, objections from anyone", Balin said and looked around. Everyone was smiling and nodding.

Dongar kneeled behind him, "My King, my blood, my sword and my life are yours", he said with a broken voice, barely able to control the deep emotions that Thorin's final acceptance had stirred.

Thorin closed his eyes and nodded weakly. "Stand up lieutenant". When he heard Eilin's choked sobs again, his soul attempted to flee his body and embrace her in his stead. He shivered as his eyes burned the back of her head, contemplating on how hard it was for him to embrace her in front of all of them.

Dis felt it, "You are shivering, you need to sit down", she said and took his arm to lead him to a chair.

Those words were the last straw that broke Eilin apart. Her crying was so profound that she was unable to keep silent anymore. Dis frowned at her direction, "What is going on here? Eilin what is the matter?" She asked clearly concerned.

"I am sorry my lady, I cannot stay here…I have to leave…" she choked. She threw the door open with a wail that hooked onto every single inch of Thorin's self control.

His hand squeezed the wooden dove until he felt the pain almost insufferable.

"Thorin? What is happening?" Dis's voice sounded faded. He was concentrating on the receding wails of Eilin out at the corridor.

Balin already knew what was happening and he tried hard to stop it. "Laddie look at me, please. Don't do anything you will regret", his plead felt like a hard swat across Thorin's face.

"Enough", he took two steps back. His mind was twisting and bending around the impossibility of their situation. Should he remain here and let Eilin ran away broken, or fly after her and throw everything into the fire..? His mind slowly realised that this was not a question mark, but a bold exclamation mark.

"No, Thorin! This is wrong! Don't act on emotion now", Balin tried to get out of bed, but his brother's heavy hand stopped him.

"Stand down brother", Dwalin said and his solemn eyes gave Thorin the freedom he needed.

He charged after her forgetting all the obligations of his lineage back in that room. "Eilin!" He shouted.

His booming voice made her cry even harder. She didn't want to turn around and see his dire state. She didn't want to stop running away from all of them.

He reached her easily and grabbed her upper arm turning her around "don't ran away from me", he begged.

"Everyone in there saw me. They saw I cannot breathe and they don't know why! No one can know why I feel devastated Thorin! I despair, because I cannot yell at them that I am in agony for you!" She bend over from her need to scream her ultimate anguish to the skies.

He clasped her hand in his and dragged her behind him, her unstoppable crying feeding his heart with courage. He didn't care that they passed the open door of Balin like that, nor that his sister peeked out to see what was happening.

He brought her to his door, which he had to refrain from kicking in and brought her inside. When he leaned against it, making it crash upon its hinges, she looked at him in distress for a few moments before lunging herself on him and shouting "I don't want you to die!" She straddled him and wrapped her legs around his hips. He was unable to hold them both up as her emotional explosion, brought him literally to his knees.

He tightened his arms around her painfully, "Don't cry my heart, please", he muttered and pampered her face and neck with kisses.

"I don't want you to die…", she repeated as he cradled her so tight that she was almost unable to breathe, but she didn't care. She wanted him to steal her breath away and keep it for himself. So he could have another spare breath if life took all of his away.

"And I don't want to lose you", he whispered feeling conquered, "don't ever ran away from me like that again".

He felt her sobs reawakening and his own tears released upon the only person that made him feel so much after years of being numb. The only person that rekindled his fluttering fire into a full blown blazing inferno. The woman that came first to his mind, when that man died and asked him to take care of his family. Eilin's arms came around his neck and he buried his face on the croon of her neck. He lingered there in silence feeling her sharp pants scorching his cheek and ear. The vivid image of the dying man not wanting to part from his wife and daughter, made him hold onto her even more greedily. When her crying was extinguished to mere sniffles, every single thought that weighed him down flew away, apart from that wooden dove, still hidden in his fist. His dry lips skimmed on her neck and his fingers slithered in and out of her curls that waved loose upon her waist. Every passing second his steady breath and strong arms reassured her that even though he was terribly bloody, he was alive and there with her.

She clawed his nape, afraid that if she let him go now, all this would fade into a dream. That she would wake up back at the tavern, empty and bitter. When she was sure that her voice was not going to break under another onslaught of tears she spoke the first thought that came to her mind. "Did you just truly shout my name in a corridor full of guards and in front of a room full of your friends?"

"I did", he smiled sadly.

"You just raised the flags on us…" she frowned.

"I don't care. I never want to see you this broken again", he shook his head trying to push back the image of her trying to drown her tears in front of everyone, so she wouldn't betray their situation.

"How can I? Have you seen yourself?" She felt her eyes welling again and her throat convulsing.

His fingers twisted through her hair and kept her securely on his chest so she wouldn't look down to his bloody clothes again, "To be quite honest, no".

"The state of you…are you even okay?" Her eyelids squeezed shut.

"I am not okay, because I hurt you without ever wanting to", his voice broke.

"Let me see you", she tried to pull back, but he kept her close to his heart.

"No…".

She butted her forehead onto his chest frustrated, "what happened…tell me what happened to you…".

"Nothing more than what happened to everybody else", his voice took an almost detached tone.

She tried to push him back and when he resisted again, she grabbed his biceps, "let me see you!"

He reluctantly released her.

Her eyes took in his bloody tunic and trousers and she had to push herself hard not to break down in front of him again. "Is this your blood?"

"Not only mine".

"How much did you bleed?" She lifted up his tunic, in desperate need to see the damage he had done to himself.

He held her hands and brought them down along with his garment, "Not enough to stop my labour, but seeing you like this was enough to bring me to my knees. I don't want to see you cry", he reached up and wiped her tears away with his dirty thumb, "I stained you with soot".

She jerked her head away from his caring hands. "I don't care, as long as you are alright. Let me help you clean it up and call Oin", she made to get up, but he stopped her again.

"I cannot remain Eilin. I have to go back down and tend to the wounded. I have to help Fili…".

"You are not going anywhere, unless you allow me to see how much damage you have taken", she frowned up at him and pushed his hands away angrily.

He cupped her cheeks again and focused in her eyes, "Eilin, I am the King. I cannot stay here while my people are wounded and dying down there. I have to go….."

"No!" She shook her head and her eyes flooded with tears again.

"You have to let me go. I have to go", he nodded and his thumb caressed softly down the side of her nose and remained on her top lip. His mouth smiled down at her and so did his beautiful azure eyes.

"Thorin no. This is what I dread most, don't you see? The King in you will take my Thorin away", her bottom lip trembled.

He frowned, "I am not leaving you my sweet. I am going to take care of my people and I will return to you".

"What if you die down there?" She yelled and thwarted his chest in frustration.

He took hold of her wrists to stop her. "Then you will grieve for me like the rest of Erebor and you will allow me to rest".

The sobs that broke through her chest were enough to slash through his heart, "Don't do this to me Thorin, please".

"Eilin, this is my life and you are now part of it. A part I don't ever want to hurt, but you must understand that you have not chosen a scribbler, nor a minstrel. You have chosen a soldier and soldiers die in battle. Today my ailment was nothing compared to some workers down there who will never see their families again. One day though the inevitable might happen and you must sustain through it. Don't you think my mother used to feel the same way about my father?"

She looked up sharply, "Did you just place me onto the same pedestal as your mother?"

A ghostly smiled appeared on the side of his lips, "Nothing less".

She lunged upon him so hard that the pain in his stomach flared up, but he enfolded her and gritted his teeth against it, "What did you mother used to say to your father in similar situations?"

"I don't know", he admitted.

"I'll tell you what she said…", she caressed his back firmly.

He closed his eyes and rested his cheek on the top of her head.

"Please don't leave me alone in this world, for I will follow you soon after", she whispered.

Clouds gathered on his clear brow. "Can you please shut up, because if a sword or a fire doesn't kill me, your words surely will".

She felt her heart clenching in regret for revealing such heavy thoughts to him. "I have placed too heavy of a burden on your shoulders with these words. Forgive me, for they were not wisely spoken".

"I just want to know that you will be alright. That alone can sustain me. The fear that something might happen to you, will to undo me", he admitted with a fading voice and his fist gripped tightly onto her hair.

She had to pull herself back together. Her earnest words had scared him so bad, that she didn't want to see such a broken look in his eyes again. Her job was to sustain him physically and emotionally and right now she was doing neither. She was overburdening him with her own fears. She caressed his long mane and twisted a finger around one of his warrior braids, "I am alright Thorin".

He looked up to her with such doting longing that her heart shattered into a thousand pieces, "Are you really?"

She steadied her soul and forced her mouth to gift him with a bright, reassuring smile. "Yes, I am sorry I overburdened you. Seeing you this bloody made me lose every thread of common sense. Not that this was ever a strong point in me, mind you", she tried a shot at humour.

He looked at her searchingly for a long time. Uncertain if she meant these new hopeful words and she decided to eliminate his doubts, "You are holding me too tight, so your bleeding hasn't weakened you so much."

A soft questioning smile appeared on his beautiful lips, "Dare I believe you now?"

She nodded fiercely, "believe me and tell me what I can do to help you and I shall!"

His eyes were penetrative for what felt like an eon, before he spoke cautiously once more. "Did you decide to become the brave Eilin I know again? The one that chased after me in the menacing darkness so many times?" He tilted his head affectionately.

The nod came out with difficulty from her, "Yes".

"You will remain up here to assist the wounded and my sister and I will see you when I finish, alright?" He said with a calm and soothing voice that encouraged her. Had he perchance truly believed the mask of bravery she had put on for his sake?

"At your orders Sir! How about your bleeding?" She tried to dispel his fears about her well being with each word.

"It has stopped, I am not dizzy anymore".

It took her more than a few moments to believe his steady voice and be comforted by his wide palms smoothing over her sides, "Are you certain?"

"Yes men gehyith**".

Something sharp scratched her ribcage and she looked down, "what are you holding?"

He looked intently at the forgotten wooden dove that was still piercing through the skin of his palm and suddenly his throat went dry, "A token".

"Who gave it to you?"

He remained looking at it for a long time quietly, not wanting to reveal her what had taken place down there. He wanted to keep that darkness away from her. She was too emotionally fragile as it was, "Matter not. Now promise that you will keep away from the lower levels, until I tell you. I need to make sure that everything is safe down there. Give me a nice hug, a kiss and let me return to my people. I need to go, but before I do I need to know that you are going to be alright", he told her firmly.

She nodded and enclosed him close to her heart as tightly as her thighs and arms were able. She kept him like that for longer than he would have chosen and even though his presence was needed on the wounded part of Erebor, he didn't make a single move to dislodge her or try to make her see reason again. He allowed her to take her time with him. No one bothered them, although he expected a cascade of questions to befall on him after what he just did. The heavy consequences of his actions mattered little to him. Eilin's emotional distress was far more important than hiding their involvement. That dove that he was still holding like a treasure above her shaking shoulder-blade had appeared in the midst of hell to enlighten him. No one could make a deal with the maker to live forever and he didn't want to lose a single precious moment with Eilin. Not after dying and coming back, not after having a second chance in life and love. They remained embraced at the floor, giving solace to each other, long enough to lose track of time, but when he finally persuaded her through myriads of comforting words in Khuzdul that he was alright and that he had to rule Erebor in this time of suffering, he was the one mostly regretful to lose her warmth. They parted with a simple kiss and the promise to see her later in his rooms.

When the door closed behind him, she rested her forehead on the wooden panel and felt her heart contracting painfully. For the way he acted in front of his friends and family, for all that blood she had seen on him, for the way she broke down paralysed by the thought that she could lose him. When the door knocked, she felt it's vibration under her skin and jerked away from it.

"Yes?" she whispered, not sure that she wanted to face anyone else but him right now.

The door cracked open, "can I come in?" Dis asked gently.

Eilin brushed her knuckles under her eyes trying to wipe them away furiously, "of course my lady".

She entered and looked around, "he left?"

Eilin nodded and looked towards her boots.

"You look a little better", Dis offered her a kind smile.

"A little better, yes". Eilin felt positively flustered, with stingy red eyes and a stuffy nose, but she felt better indeed.

Dis's eyes brightened knowingly, "big bad wolf's embrace made it all better?"

Eilin looked up stupefied.

Dis pressed her lips, "don't look so surprised. After what happened anyone would have drawn the same conclusions".

Eilin's face contorted in fear, "I didn't want to act in this inappropriate manner in front of you, my lady...forgive me"

Dis raised her hand with a soft smile, "you expressed your worry in a most heartfelt manner. That touched me deeply."

Eilin averted her eyes, "I don't know what to say my lady".

Dis sighed, "say nothing. Now it is time for you to wipe them tears away and learn how to act like a proper dwarrowdam".

Eilin looked up perplexed, but did as she was told. She tried to clean her face, "what?"

"You will follow me and we will offer any help we can to our men..." she let that word linger and Eilin eyes fell on her hands.

Her cheeks flushed red again. "Yes my lady".

"In times of need, of danger, of battle, of sickness we stand by their side and give them our unconditional support. We drain our tears so we don't worry them, and stand strong, devoted and brave dwarrowdams by their side", Dis said proudly.

"I am no dwarrowdam my lady", Eilin muttered, but her heart was racing upon the weighty words of the princess.

Dis smiled, "yes you are".

Eilin felt her mouth forming a timid smile.

Dis gave her an affirmative nod, "that's better. Now follow me, we have work to do, for him and for Erebor".

She followed Dis out and tried to stop her heart from hammering right out of her chest at this discreet acceptance of the princess. She had expected Dis to banish her from the premises and reprimand her, after Thorin revealed to his friends and family that Eilin meant more to him than they had realised.

Apparently she couldn't have been more mistaken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * (son of an orc)
> 
> ** (my little dove)


	32. Beautiful uncertainties

When they were out in the corridor, Balin's door opened up and slowly Thorin's comrades started filing out. The princess told Eilin to attend to the advisor's needs and then go down to the infirmary to help Oin. She was going to the mines to see what she could do about the relatives of the wounded men. Eilin bowed and waited patiently for everyone to come out, before attempting to ask lord Balin if he needed anything.

As Dori came out, his hand landed on her shoulder. Their eyes met and he smiled at her knowingly. She averted her eyes feeling her heart elating at the pleasant countenance of this kind, but also ferocious dwarf, but she didn't have enough time to enjoy that, as Bofur's voice startled her. "You were aiming too high and I was too low".

A burst of nervousness filled her stomach, "You are so mistaken...", she shook her head not knowing what to say to this sudden assault.

Bofur raised his brow coldly, "I am not going to be the only to tell you, but you have created a huge mess, which I don't think Thorin will be able to fix easily".

Eilin blanched and twisted her fingers painfully in order to control her emotions. She remained silent, but her eyes sizzled upon Bofur, who ignored the obvious distress in her and walked away. Bifur who was following, shook his head disappointed. If it wasn't for the happy disposition of Bombur coming after his grim brothers she might have broken down in front of Balin's door. He grasped her shoulder with his heavy hand and leaned over, "Bofur is jealous as hell that's why he's so dismissive and Bifur is too old fashioned to accept what he has seen. Don't give them any notice".

She rubbed her forefinger between her eyebrows, "I never expected Bofur to talk to me this way. I thought we were friends".

"He thought you were much more. He expected a flower crown and someone else got it instead. Give him some time to get used to the idea", Bombur said with a self assured smile, "my brother doesn't have my experience with women. Be patient and don't hold those cold hearted words against him in the future when he will eventually regret them".

"I won't", she shook her head sadly.

"Move out of the way you big piece of lard!" Gloin grumbled and Bombur gave her a wide smile.

She barely had the time to reciprocate when her eyes were drawn at the formidable treasurer who raised his brow testily, "unbelievable". That was his only word, but it was enough to drop her heart into icy water.

"Shut up and leave her alone!", Nori pushed him in turn and Gloin turned to him angrily.

"You in for trouble?" the red headed beast grumbled.

"Don't bully the girl and move out of the way. This whole deal is none of our business. Mind the treasury!" Nori said angrily.

"And you mind your manners!" Gloin raised a threatening finger at him.

Dori's heavy hand fell on Gloin's shoulder and drew him away from Nori, "both of you move away from Balin's door before Dwalin comes out with an axe and beheads you! Poor girl has had enough for one evening. Remember your manners gentlemen".

Gloin pulled away from Nori, but not before showering him with tones of silent warnings. Then their footsteps slowly faded away.

Eilin remained outside the closed door trembling like a leaf, unable to process the warm and cold waves that kept coming from Thorin's comrades. When she was finally completely alone and silence covered the stony walls, she toyed with the end of her apron, not sure what she was supposed to do. After that mixed reaction, she didn't know if she wanted to enter lord Balin's rooms and get another dose of reality. Away from Thorin's arms she was exposed to it and it felt scary and unpredictable. She remembered how much he had consoled her, when he was bloody and exhausted and she instantly felt regret for being unable to handle his comrades with more fearlessness. That thought alone began steeling her heart against every fear. How could she expect something so serious as their involvement to be paved with roses? She knew from the beginning there were going to be difficulties and now it was her time to face them alongside of him, who was certainly going to take the heaviest load. It was her turn to prove her bravery to him, as he had proven his own firm resolve when he revealed his feelings in front of everyone. If he was ready to face them, then so was she.

She called on all her resolution and knocked lord Balin's door. The elder dwarf was sleeping and Dwalin was by his side. He smiled at her, "did those beardless idiots give you trouble?"

She pressed her lips and looked at her boots, "it was expected sir".

Dwalin nodded thoughtfully, "let me and Thorin worry about them, alright? you are ill equipped to deal with them, but don't let them get you down. Especially Bofur. I heard what he said. It was not nice".

She felt her eyes welling, "thank you for understanding, sir".

His eyes remained long on her, "you feel better?"

She nodded.

"Glad Thorin's spontaneous explosion was not pointless", he smirked.

"I hope I prove worthy of his bravery sir".

"If those idiots don't scare you, I am sure you will", he raised his brow.

"I must deal with them. I cannot hide under my bed until this is over", she sounded more certain than she felt.

Dwalin's lips curled up slowly, "takes guts to speak this way".

She bowed slightly, "thank you sir. Can I bring anything up for you and your brother?"

He frowned thoughtfully, "Is food too much of a demand under the circumstances?"

She smiled timidly, "of course not sir. I will cook something and bring it up".

"Thank you", he said and turned his attention to his sleeping brother as Eilin closed the door behind her.

She pulled her messed hair back in a ponytail, ignorant of how bloody her clothes were from her tight embrace with Thorin and how much of a dead giveaway that was on it's own about how close they had been in his rooms. First she went to the infirmary, her eyes eager to catch a glimpse of him. Dori told her quietly that he was still down at the deep mines. She found Oin, who eventually used her as a nurse with many reassuring words that made her feel less like an intruder and more like a useful member of this city. She dressed up wounds, cleaned dirty faces, and comforted wives and children for a long time. When everything seemed to settle down at the infirmary it was already late afternoon. Oin released her off duty and she rushed to take care of Dwalin's promised dinner.

Despite her fatigue and anxiety for Thorin she cooked two large pots of porridge and then ordered two service girls to bring them up along with spoons and wooden bowls. She first went through the infirmary and offered food to all the wounded and their families along with Oin who had fallen asleep on his chair. He took his food gratefully and offered her the most sweet smile she had seen from him. Then she went up and served Dwalin and Balin who in the meantime had woken up. She expected some kind off scolding from the King's advisor, but he only told her to go take a bath and get some sleep because she looked at the end of her teether. He automatically avoided anything that had to do with Thorin. When Eilin finished she tried to find the princess, but Dis was nowhere to be found.

She returned to the infirmary and left the remaining pot for the soldiers that had brought up the wounded. Then she dragged her legs down to her rooms. When the door closed she collapsed on her bed and remained there half asleep, half waking up in terror as Thorin's bloody image broke through her confused dreams. Finally she gave up. She was unable to sleep until she knew he had returned safely to his rooms.

She picked up some fresh clothes, and forced herself to take a bath at the hot springs. When she returned to her room with her hair dripping wet and her body painful and tired beyond belief, she didn't lay on her bed. She sat in front of a rather plain mirror and stared at her face. Her eyes were red, her nose almost purple and her cheeks on fire. Her lips were trembling slightly and her fingers were frozen. Her hair was a wild, untamed, unbrushed mess around her. Just the way he liked them.

His bloody clothes, his pale face and his desolate eyes returned angrily to make her numb. She broke down with a fresh onslaught of tears that were even more violent now under his absence….until a soft knock on her door made her look up. A faint gleam of hope burned through her torn heart and she lunged to the door hoping to see him there. When she opened it though she had refrain from looked too disappointed "my lady".

Dis's experienced eyes caught that immediately. She entered holding a wrapped up blanket, "You were expecting him?"

Eilin shook her head, "no my Lady".

Dis looked around her room, "I'd rather we didn't lie to each other".

Eilin's eyes burned the stone floor, "I hoped that it was going to be him", she admitted.

Dis nodded, "I haven't seen your room".

Eilin remained silent.

Dis pressed her lips, "It's rather nice. Feels warm and welcoming".

Eilin stippled her fingers anxiously.

"Much like you", Dis added and placed the blanket on her bed.

"Thank you my lady", Eilin whispered.

"You don't have to look so terrified…Oin said you helped him a lot".

"I tried my best", she wasn't able to raised her eyes at the princess.

"You did very well. A true dwarrowdam, like I said", Dis smiled.

Eilin blushed.

"Were trying to get a hold of me?" Dis looked at her.

"I tried to find you my lady to give you some food, but I couldn't", Eilin looked up briefly and then averted her eyes.

Dis's lips turned up in a sad smile, "I went down to the destroyed furnace to help Thorin and my son. I came up not long ago".

Eilin looked up sharply at that, unable to stop her reaction and Dis smiled.

"He is fine. He looked much worse than he was. I left him at his office with Fili and Dain about half an hour ago", the princess reassured her.

Eilin felt her knees unlocking. She grabbed hold of her chair to keep standing. The sobs that had been hiding under her skin held back by her fear, were now released. "thank you my lady", her voice was barely heard.

Dis approached and took hold of her elbow, "He is really alright. I think you should sit down". He led her to the chair and Eilin dumped herself in it.

"I am sorry my lady. I am not acting as bravely as I would have wanted. As a dwarrowdam would have acted", she sniffled.

Dis gave her a lopsided smile, "you think dwarrowdams don't cry for their men?"

Eilin flicked her shoulders, "I don't know how I am supposed to act to fit that description".

"You fit it perfectly", Dis caressed her hair gently.

Eilin covered her face with her palms and sighed deeply, "thank you for making feel accepted my lady. I have never belonged anywhere".

Dis picked up a brush from the side of the table and looked at Eilin's hair critically, "Did you just take a bath?"

"Y-es", she wiped her eye with the back of her hand.

Dis began brushing them gently, making Eilin's mouth drop open with disbelief, "You need to learn how to brush your hair after taking a bath. It is much easier, than letting them dry out and then trying to go through them. Especially hair of this length with such heavy curls".

"My lady, you shouldn't be brushing my hair", she whispered in heavy disbelief.

"Don't tell me what to do young lady," Dis chastised, but her mouth was smiling.

Eilin shut her eyes tight and felt her body quivering, "I am sorry my Lady".

"Does he like them like this?" Dis raised her brow as she worked meticulously through Eilin's thick mane.

Eilin felt her mouth hanging open and gave a small nod.

Dis noticed her expression and shook her head, "It's so like him…."

Eilin frowned.

Dis flicked her shoulder, "I bet he loves them untamed, right?"

Eilin shuddered and was unable to utter a single word. Her tears quickly dried out from the gentle way the princess was treating her.

"He was never a fan of fixed hair. Haven't you noticed how few beads he has on?"

Eilin nodded transfixed.

"He's only got two warrior braids, when according to his battle experience he should have had braids even on his eyebrows", Dis grinned.

Eilin snorted and covered her mouth, unable to stop that unexpected image from pushing her fears further off.

Dis nodded, "He likes free, untamed, thick hair and yours is really exceptional", Dis said and untangled the ends of her locks.

"He does?" Eilin whispered.

Dis nodded and pulled back some thick strands near her temples and resumed her brushing, "Hasn't you already told you that?"

Eilin blushed and looked at her hands.

Dis smiled knowingly, "of course he has…what a silly question".

Eilin looked up fleetingly.

"Did he try to brush them for you?" Dis looked above Eilin's head on the mirror to catch her eyes.

A gentle fire lit in their depths on that memory. "oh, yes".

"It's part of dwarven courting to brush each other's hair", Dis explained.

Eilin averted her eyes and felt her cheeks glowing red on remembering how much he had taken care of her every time they found each other so passionately, yet him brushing her hair warmed up her stomach in ways she would have never imagined possible, "It is a beautiful custom".

Dis smiled widely, "I think that a couple of braids would have enhanced your natural beauty though".

Eilin raised her hand and touched Dis's gently, "My lady, why are you treating me so kindly?"

Dis freed her hand and smirked, "Haven't I treated you with kindness since the first moment I met you?"

"Yes, but what you are doing now is another level of kindness.", Eilin tried to find her eyes.

"You are not just a maiden anymore. You are the woman who drew the attention of my difficult brother and that says a lot about the quality of your character. You are the first woman that has ever accomplished something so amazing with him", Dis said calmly.

Eilin frowned down at her stippled fingers. Thorin told her that there has been another woman in the past. A woman he betrayed and Dwalin said that his heart had been broken in the past. Didn't his sister know of that story? She decided to keep that knowledge close to her heart and remain silent.

"I am sure that he acted spontaneously in Balin's room and his actions were not very well thought off. Nevertheless they were enough to explain to me why he had been acting so strange lately…" Dis humphed.

Eilin wouldn't have taken a breath even if her life depended on it.

Dis continued, "This couldn't have been done any other way. Thorin is highly secretive of his personal life. This time he lost control and gave us the opportunity to have a glimpse on what's been going on in his heart. A rare occurrence, which confirms how serious he is about all this".

"Can you ever forgive me for betraying your loyalty like this?" Eilin's stomach clenched.

"How did you do that exactly?"

Eilin shook her head not knowing what to say.

"By being enamoured with my brooding older brother?" Dis bit her lower lip.

Eilin hesitated long before nodding.

"Ah, you are just one of many that had fallen into the same trap, but in your case the feelings were reciprocated. An almost impossible feat", Dis flicked her shoulder.

"I am sorry about that then", Eilin didn't even know what she was apologising for.

"Be sorry it didn't happen sooner. My brother's loneliness all these years had pained me deeply. Seeing his heart being awoken, comforts mine in ways that I am not able to put down in words", Dis said and felt her eyes welling.

"My lady, the King is worth a much better woman than me", Eilin frowned.

The princess raised her brow, "Oh I see, it's the guilt trip of rank. Hasn't he settled that for you enough?"

Eilin felt her throat going dry and her fingers turned painfully around each other. She nodded fiercely and then shook her head in negation, not knowing what it was appropriate to tell the princess.

Dis noticed and sighed patiently, "Have I ever spoken to you about my beloved husband Kilskjald?"

Eilin looked up, "No my lady".

Dis began brushing the top of Eilin's hair, pulling them away from her temples and forehead, "My darling husband….I met him at one of the mining tunnels one bleak October day. I decided to accompany my younger brother Frerin down, because I was too bored to stay with mom and help with the chores of the house. Thorin was busy with dad and grandpa, so my next best choice was making Frerin's life miserable. He had to catalogue the amounts of gold, silver and precious gems that had been dug up that month in that particularly deep cavern, as lately it was producing and lot of wealth. They thought they were close to hitting a new gold vein, even though their goal was to get a mithril vein, which was much more rare".

Eilin nodded and searched Dis's eyes.

"That tunnel was full of miners hanging from ropes on every level, but my eyes fell instantly to an impressive blonde dwarf, with an impressive beard. He had his long hair pulled away from his face in a ponytail and the first thing that drew me in was the kindness of his green eyes and the soft smile on his beautiful lips. Can you picture it?"

Eilin's mind was already creating the image of Thorin's handsome face and beautiful azure eyes and she nodded eagerly, "Oh, yes".

"I know it may sound superficial and silly, but right then and there I knew I didn't want to live another day without these beautiful eyes looking at me", Dis mused.

Eilin smiled sweetly, "I know".

Dis looked at her testily for a couple of moments and shook her head with a small smile, "Part of the dwarven courting is for the dam to make all the first moves. I suppose you know that, or did you mess up with my brother?"

Eilin covered her face and snorted feeling her eyes welling up again. How was it possible to feel mirth, sadness and fear at the same time? "It was simply chance that I didn't mess up my lady. I made the first move, but down the road my ignorance made me force him to overlook several parts of the customs, I think", she whispered.

"I am not so certain you can force Thorin to do something he's not willing to do anyway. That means that he might have overlooked everything on his own accord. You see my older brother is a rebel at heart, even though Thrain's heavy hand spank that wild spirit out of him early in youth. I wouldn't find it too surprising if he slipped out of a few decorums here and there. He can become quite the nonconformist if circumstances allow it".

"I've seen that part of him", Eilin nodded quietly.

Dis's lips broke into a small smile, "It stole your heart?"

"Oh, yes", Eilin exhaled with breathtaking honesty.

Dis smiled widely, "He is quite the heartthrob when he forgets all about Durin's folk and the throne of Erebor, isn't he?"

Eilin blushed down to her toes, "yes" she tittered.

Dis shook her head, "Much like my husband was. He stole my heart in a similar manner. Our stories are not so different. Allow me to continue and you shall understand".

Eilin looked at the mirror eagerly, "I am listening my lady".

"So, I had to find a way to show my beloved I was interested, or else he was just going to admire me from afar for the rest of his life, without daring to approach".

Eilin nodded.

"I decided to go down to that tunnel, whenever my brother did to try and catch my husband's eye. And I did. Whenever I was down there, he stopped working and mooned over me and I enjoyed every single bit of attention I got. Then I had to do something more, because playing eyes wouldn't do it for anyone. I decided to make him a flower crown, but in order to give it to him I had to get away from my brothers hawk eyes. So what did I do?" Dis bit her lower lip.

Eilin smiled, "What?"

"I hid in one of the corridors that led to his small home close to the mining caverns when all the city was asleep and waited for the break of dawn to catch him when he was ready to go to work. When the bells called the dawning of the new day, my stomach filled with butterflies and I tightened my grip around his flower crown. It didn't take me long to see him coming out of his abode. When the was closing his door I tiptoed behind him and when he turned I already had my hands extended towards him with the flower crown. I remember how the colour drained from his cheeks and how his eyes were full of disbelief. No words were exchanged between us. I offered it to him and he took it from my hands almost greedily. When I saw the bright smile forming on his lips I ran away".

"What happened then?" Eilin was quick to ask.

"After that it was almost straightforward. He came to find me and we arranged the place of our meetings. Second day in he gave me one of his iron hair beads. Nothing special, but it was more than enough for my heart to sing to his tune. Know what I mean?" Dis asked and picked up the end of one of her elaborate braids to show Eilin her husband's bead, "I never took it off".

Eilin felt her eyes watering.

Dis's hand traced down Eilin's braid and touched Thorin's golden bead, "I wonder how I hadn't noticed that you had a longbeard bead yourself. I might have figured you two out much earlier", she mused.

Eilin averted her eyes, "I am sorry my Lady".

Dis waved her off, "stop asking forgiveness for doing something so remarkable as taking Thorin out of his darkness. He gave you that bead for a reason and I respect his decisions. Now shall I continue with my husband?"

"Yes please!" Eilin begged.

Dis smiled, "As you might have already figured out, our relationship was not easily welcomed because of our ranks. How could a princess of the crown marry a miner?"

Eilin's eyes darkened, "How indeed?"

"My father was the one that made the most fuss when he found out, even though my mother and my brothers knew much earlier than him. Especially Thorin who made Kilskjald's life a living hell until he was convinced that my husband was ready to sacrifice his life for me. He always does that to anyone that approaches me. Now it's poor Dongar getting all the heat".

Eilin smiled in sudden understanding, "Oh that's why he made me give him your dirty laundry".

Dis raised her brow, "one of Thorin's idea of ridicule. Oh well, Dongar passed with flying colours".

"So what did Thorin say about Kilskjald?" Eilin asked with a frown.

"He didn't say. He did. He was the one that saved my marriage," Dis face became radiant.

Eilin's lips opened up in a sweet smile and she waited with her breath held.

"My mother liked Kilskjald, but she agreed on our marriage only if my father agreed. My brother Frerin was changing moods according to who he was talking. Mother or father. I couldn't get a footing with him, but I didn't care about either my mom or my younger brother. I knew the final word was going to come out of my dad's mouth, but I also knew that my older brother had the power to change his mind. So I concentrated more on Thorin's opinion about Kilskjald".

"And?" Eilin urged her on.

"At first he was quietly observant and I knew him well enough not to hurry things. He needed his time to ascertain that Kilskjald loved me and I allowed him the opportunity to do so. I knew how much my husband loved me and that he was going to prove his feelings, and I trusted my brother's fair judgement. If he was persuaded of our mutual love, then he was going to work for us, not against us…and his support was invaluable", Dis said and began making a long braid from one temple to the back of her head.

"Did he support you?" Eilin asked.

"He passed Kilskjald through the fires of Mount Doom and my poor husband sustained every ridicule and harsh treatment, but in the end Thorin was persuaded".

Eilin's smile brightened up her whole face.

Dis steadied one of her braids and then took over the other side, "my big scary brother thinks I don't know it was his heavy hand that turned my father's stubbornness around when Thrain was adamant to break us up. My mother told me it was Thorin that stormed dad's office and exchanged many words with him about us. Mom didn't know what they told each other, but Thorin's intervention had been enough to allow me to wed the love of my life no matter our difference in rank. Father blessed our union and we wed in a small closed ceremony of family and friends. I never regretted marrying him and neither did he. We brought into this world two proud princes of Durin's folk. In the end even my father and my grandfather loved Kilskjald like a son and he protected them to his last breath in the battle of  **Dimrill Dale**. As for their grandchildren, they proved brave and courageous commanders of Thorin's army and stood by the side of my brother in battle like my husband had done for my father, till they fell". Dis's eyes welled up.

The brightness of Eilin's eyes got diminished slowly.

Dis shook her head to dissipate the dark thoughts, "Difference in rank…", she humphed, "…If my brother thinks I am going to cause him trouble about choosing a maiden over some rich dame, he is mistaken", she whispered.

Eilin wiped away a single tear that escaped her eye.

"He supported my impossible marriage to a miner, against the fierce personality of my father. I am going to support his impossible decisions for you, against the whole of Erebor if need be", she said and finished Eilin's long braid down the back of her head.

"I don't know what to say my lady", Eilin felt her heart opening up to the princess.

"Do you love him?" Dis's hand caressed down her braid and her eyes seared on Eilin's through the mirror.

Eilin focused on her with a clear face that bespoke of the honesty of her deep feelings. She nodded, her cheeks streaming with new tears, "more than life".

Dis's countenance mellowed up and she caressed Eilin's hair again, "I guess both him and me decided to choose people that would go against Thrain's advice", she mused at the mirror.

Eilin kept her crying eyes on the princess, not wanting to lose a single word or expression.

Dis turned around and went to her bed. She touched the blanket, "I've brought you a couple of clothes. From my cupboards and from Valdis".

Eilin turned around sharply, "you shouldn't have my Lady".

Dis smiled back at her thoughtfully, "You barely have enough clothes to go by and you are always wearing the ones that bare his sigil, although I presume that is something you like".

Eilin stood up and felt her knees unsteady, "I don't know what to say".

Dis smiled and admired Eilin's beautiful countenance more like a mother than a sister in law "I was right. An artful braid enhances your natural good looks".

Eilin bit her lower lips and blushed.

"Now clear up your face and go to his rooms. He must be there now. When I left him, he was totally exhausted", Dis advised calmly.

"Thank you my Lady", Eilin said and her knees unlocked. She bowed to the ground for this amazing woman that had accepted her so openly.

Dis tried to pull her up, "Come on, stand up".

Eilin resisted, "No, please my Lady, let me find words good enough to show you my gratefulness for giving me this chance. Hadn't it be for you I wouldn't be here now".

Dis smiled, "Your honesty and loyalty gave you this opportunity, not me. When you returned my diamond bead you proved your untouchable character. So thank your impeccable ethics. They are the ones that landed you here. Your ethics are hard to find even in the most polished corridors of the most intricate dwarven city, much less in the gutter of that tavern you were raised in. Judging by how few good things I have heard about the people that raised you, I have to come to the conclusion that your honourable traits were passed down by your parents. Unfortunate it is I cannot shake their hand for bringing you to life".

Eilin was sobbing so hard her body was shaking from head to tow, "thank you…thank you".

Dis pulled her up, "Now go up to him. I will talk to you tomorrow", she said calmly.

When the door closed Eilin felt her body releasing. After tonight, she knew that things would never be able to return to how they used to be. Not with her feelings towards Thorin. Not with his friends and not with his family and she had to deal with the burden of it all. She stood like a statue in front of her door, replaying her emotional encounter with the princess for a long time, before the image of a bloody Thorin made her ran out in the corridor with the unbearable need to see him.

* * *

"Thorin can you hear me?" Oin nudged him.

Thorin's brows came together in annoyance, "I can both feel you and hear you and I want neither".

Oin shook his head, "you are lucky I didn't decide to stitch you up again. Look at you, just look at your poor wound".

"You'd be out for a death wish if you tried to. Now finish, I need to rest", Thorin's eyes drooped heavy.

Dwalin had his hand over his mouth and his eyes were looking at Thorin ardently, "why, why didn't you tell me you were bleeding you fool?"

Thorin's lips pursed, but he remained silent with his eyes closed.

Dwalin placed his hands on his heavy belt and looked at the balcony, needing to keep himself in check, "I want to make your life hell for what you did to me today".

Thorin's lips twitched into a ghostly smile, but he was already falling into a deep slumber. He got drawn there by his extreme fatigue unwillingly. He wanted to tease his best friend with a clever comeback or two, but his body had already decided that it didn't want to speak. His mind flashed with images between reality and dreams for a few more seconds, before the world of dream won the match easily.

Oin pursed his lips and made a tight knot on his fresh bandage, "he's asleep, keep your threats for tomorrow".

Dwalin winced and rubbed his eyes roughly, "I will, you can be sure of that!"

"Oh, you old fool, stop crying", Oin waved him off, "both your brother and Thorin are fine".

Dwalin shook his head and his lips pressed so hard they paled, "He was kneeling down when he send me away. You know why?"

Oin shook his head.

"He was too weak to stand up and I didn't even realise. I was so scared about Balin that I didn't give my best friend any notice", Dwalin's voice was full of guilt.

"Give it a rest. I would have done the same. Those moments were saturated in fear and confusion", Oin said calmly and crossed his arms. "He lost a good amount of blood indeed, but it was nothing he cannot handle. Now stop gravelling on top of him, you are making my stomach turn with all this soppiness".

Dwalin placed his wide palm on Thorin's forehead to make sure he was cool. The King made himself more comfortable and his breathing became heavy again.

"He didn't tell me anything on purpose. He didn't want to worry me", Dwalin said and wiped the perspiration from his brow.

Oin shook his head, "there we go again".

"He almost bled to death in order to help me and my brother", Dwalin continued his tirade.

"And everybody else in that damn mine! What he did for those poor miners and his selfless actions are already blowing out of proportions all over Erebor. He could have ordered others down there in the midst of hell in his stead, but as usual he took the lead with little consideration for himself. He hasn't changed one bit. People understand, people appreciate and they never forget. His qualities are rare and common people are not fools, they know. As for you...what did you expect from him? You two are as close as anyone can get". Oin sounded truly annoyed by Dwalin's emotional breakdown.

"I love the bleeding bastard", Dwalin said and averted his eyes.

"You and all of Erebor and he will need that love soon enough from what I've been told", Oin raised his brow knowingly.

"He's in a difficult turning point and he will have to take challenging decisions soon, that's true".

Oin pursed his lips, "Then trust in the support he gains from the people with his fair judgment, kindness and selflessness".

Dwalin crossed his arms, "I'd trust more in his ability to handle difficult situations masterfully and less in the loyalty of the common people to him".

"Trust in both. He will need them both", Oin tilted his head.

Dwalin nodded thoughtfully, "maybe you are right".

When the door knocked, they both looked up, but no one spoke. It cracked open and Eilin appeared, "Hello?" She whispered, but on seeing the other two dwarf-lords she pulled back, "I am sorry, I will come back later". She made to close the door, but Dwalin's voice stopped her.

"We are done here, come in", he sounded as tired as he looked.

She opened the door and entered timidly, "I am not bothering?" She looked first at Dwalin and then at Oin.

"No lassie. He is fine. He fell asleep as I was patching him up. He was as exhausted as I am", Oin yawned.

"And me too", Dwalin rubbed his forehead.

"Did he lose a lot of blood?" She approached the bed.

"Nothing he couldn't handle", Oin closed his satchel and stood up. He almost lost his footing and caught himself at the back of the chair with the help of Eilin.

"Do you need help sir?" She asked.

"I need sleep. You will remain I suppose?" Oin raised a brow at her.

She looked timidly at Dwalin and nodded.

"Very well. Don't worry, he needs nothing more than a good night's rest. Try not to wake him up", Oin adviced and walked to the door, followed by Dwalin.

"Goodnights Sirs", she said and crossed her hands timidly in front of her apron.

"Goodnight", Dwalin's voice reciprocated and the door closed behind them.

Eilin turned at him and exhaled a whole bout of unease. She saw the blanket tangled at the bottom of his feet. He had apparently passed through the hot springs as he was clean and his hair was mildly wet, but he was wearing one of his royal trousers with his sigil on the knees instead of his long johns. He was naked from the waist up. She leaned over and blew out the candle on the side table next to her. Then she walked to the fireplace and refurbished the fire until it was blazing hot. She blew out the other candle and made sure the heavy velvet maroon curtains were well drawn in front of his balcony and the window was securely closed to keep the heavy snowfall out. She went to the foot of his bed and untangled the blanket, then she rounded the bed and climbed on it, next to him. She pulled the blanket up to his waist and remained above him like a sentinel. Eating him up with her red eyes. Leaning on her elbow, she extended her small hand and rested her palm just above the heavy buckle of his belt, on the thin line of dark hair on his stomach, "are you okay?" She whispered and her eyes followed her hand as it traced the line of hair up to his bandage. There she lingered and felt the first tears releasing from her eyes. Her palm spread protectively above his wound and she imagined the clean bandage getting stained by fresh blood again. His bloody image returned to her mind with a vengeance and she turned her head to her shoulder. She palmed her mouth trying not to wake him up by her crying. Her fingers pressed him gently. When she felt safe enough to release her mouth and not utter a single sound of pain, she lifted her head again and her eyes fell on his broad chest that was moving with his steady breathing.

Her palm rested at the small dip between his wide collarbones, and there she felt his heartbeat strong and steady, pumping her with hope about the next day. How much had she feared for his life today? Her affection towards him, had blossomed to such serious extends that her worry about him had become almost insufferable. She reached up and caressed a thick vein at the side of his neck and pushed his hair away from his temple, revealing his big pointy ear. Her eyes mused on the thick golden earring on top it. Then her eyes returned at the vein on his neck and she felt the need to press her warm lips on it, in order to feel his pulse. Maybe inhale his heartbeat and reassure herself that he was alright. Instead she pushed herself up until the tip of her nose was buried in his hair, drawing in deep whiffs of his aroma and her heart skipped beats in order to align with his. Then her mouth opened up and the words came out of it with such heavy sincerity, that more tears sprang out of her eyes and ran like hot rivers at the side of her face, getting trapped onto his beard.

"I love you".

She gave him a tender kiss on his earlobe and leaned her head heavily on his chest. Her leg came above his thigh and she snuggled against him as she pulled the heavy blanket over both of them. She closed her eyes, knowing that after her confession and the assurance that she had his strong heartbeat under her ear, she could sleep well. She didn't see the small twitch of his brows or didn't feel the slight shifting of his breathing. She felt his hand, that up till then was resting on the pillow, coming down to wrap around her waist. He enfolded her onto him and she sighed feeling solaced beyond belief. Then his other hand came up and rested heavy above her shoulder-blade just as she was about to doze off, feeling more secure than she had ever felt in her life. His head turned to her long after her breath became steady and his lips planted a warm kiss on the top of her head. Inside her daze she didn't know if he enclosed her so close to his heart because he heard her words, or because he felt her presence.

She entered the world of dreams with that beautiful uncertainty.


	33. A bunch of gems

A week had passed since the accident at the furnaces took the life of three men and caused the desolation of their families. A week since Thorin had realised that the small wooden dove had awoken in his heart a fiery tornado that could consume everything in it's passage to claiming what he wished for most…and this time his treasure was not gold or gems. A week since Eilin had confessed her love for Thorin with a faint whisper, without ever getting an indication that he had heard it. A week since Thranduil kept the King's envoys on purposeful limbo to make Thorin lose time and prove his point. That he wanted to take revenge against Thror's past dishonourable actions, through his grandchild. That he was not courageous enough to let go of the past in favour of the much needed peace between their realms. That despite being thousands years of age, he was not wise enough to prove himself above it all. Even though he had given Thorin a gift, he was not yet ready to let bygones be bygones.

When that morning Gandalf and Bilbo finally arrived at Erebor, they found the King overlooking an impressive progression of thousands of soldiers. The Firebeards and the Broadbeams had arrived and there were two delegations short of completing the picture, but still the King's gem was missing. Thorin was standing in front of the tall banisters, hearing the heavy flapping of Erebor's flags that were waving on their tall poles. He felt the freezing air thrashing his hair around his face and the coldness spreading in his heart when Gandalf's voice reassured him that Bilbo's words had been correct. King Thranduil accepted his sword, but he denied coming to Erebor to do the trade. He insisted that Thorin should come to his realm, or that they should set a new meeting at a neutral ground, like Dale. Bidding on time again. Time Thorin clearly didn't have anymore. When Gandalf told him that sending them over to try new negotiations would fail and that he was ordered to leave for Ithilien as soon as possible by the lady of light, Thorin felt his throat drying out at the finality of it all. He had hoped that his gift would draw out the Elven King from his egomaniacal trip. He had been so dead certain on it, that he was very calm and derisive when Balin sounded concerned and thoughtful. Apparently he had been very much mistaken and now he had to deal with the consequences.

Servin had stopped spreading doubt on his rule after their honest discussion, but now he was the one doubting his ability to sort things out. Maybe he was becoming as vain as Thranduil or his grandfather in this quest of his. The moment his heart wanted to take a step back and assess the situation calmly, his mind became as unbendable and stern as the elven King's, placing his pride before everything else. Even though there were more than two thousand extremely well equipped soldiers entering Erebor right now, and the heavy footsteps of their metal boots were creating an awe inspiring echo into the valley under him, he was still unwilling to give up any control to the elven realm.

"I have to go", Gandalf said regretfully.

"So you've said", Thorin replied coldly.

"I cannot remain here to advice you, and I cannot partake in a new negotiation", Gandalf leaned on his staff.

"No one is going to keep you here", his eyes thinned on the horizon, far beyond the Broadbeam banners at the end of the progression.

"The throne is not secure under you", Gandalf looked at Bilbo and Balin fleetingly.

The old advisor crossed his arms and looked at his boots. Bilbo pressed his lips.

"I know", Thorin's voice held a barely discernible tone of darkness.

"What will you do about the Arkenstone?" Gandalf asked.

"I cannot answer that which I do not know", he scowled.

Balin sighed deeply, "Son, you must address the new delegations."

"You can take care of that for me Balin", he said.

Balin looked at Gandalf and Bilbo distressed, "Aren't you going to meet with them?"

"I will eventually", Thorin's eyes looked grimly at the long progression.

"What must I tell them about the Arkenstone then?" Balin asked in a quiet voice.

"That it is not here", Thorin retorted flatly.

Balin nodded, "Very well" -he momentarily hesitated- "don't forget that it's Dwalin's birthday tomorrow and we arranged a gathering at Thror's library at night."

"I know", he didn't betray any real interest though.

Balin gave one last troubled look at Bilbo and Gandalf and then left in order to take care of the envoys that had arrived.

Bilbo approached, "Thorin, can you at least be the one to look at things a little less selfishly?"

Thorin's eyes fell on him demanding.

Bilbo smiled at him and then gave Gandalf an uncomfortable look, "I spoke the same words to Thranduil. Don't look at me with such aversion."

He turned at the grey wizard, "How about you? Weren't you ordered to Ithilien?"

"Indeed", Gandalf replied calmly.

"What are you waiting for then?" Thorin raised his brow.

"In a hurry to get rid of me?"

"I don't want you meddling", Thorin dismissed him, feeling truly bothered by how things were progressing.

"The Elven king wanted the same. I wish you two could realise how many things you have in common. Please lay the past to rest and do the trade. In any manner you can. Go to Dale and do it if you have to. Swear allegiance to each other for the sake of all the Gods up there, that pluck their beards out by the stubbornness of you two! His realm and your Kingdom can secure the north. United you stand, divided you fall. Your throne is in danger, from your pride. Be reasonable."

Thorin closed his eyes, "leave Mithrandir. Thank you for helping me, but I will rule on my own terms."

"You are not allowing me to do anything more to help you anyway", Gandalf said dryly.

"I have allowed you to do enough already", Thorin didn't turn to him. He kept his eyes towards the marching horizon.

"Very well. I must depart immediately. I can only wish that time will give you the opportunity to see things more clearly", Gandalf said, but Thorin spoke over him.

"Have a safe trip south, Mithrandir. You will always be welcome in the Lonely Mountain", his voice was solemn.

Gandalf pursed his lips and gave Bilbo a wistful look, "take care of my burglar, will you?"

Bilbo smiled and crossed his arms behind his back.

Thorin's lips broke into a ghostly smile also, "I won't try to throw him off the rampart, don't worry."

Gandalf nodded thoughtfully, "I hope you will manage to get the Arkenstone back."

"I both hope and fear the same", Thorin's face sobered up.

Bilbo cast his eyes at his feet.

"Goodbye", Gandalf offered them a lopsided smile.

Bilbo raised his hand at him, "I will see you in Bagshot row soon, right?"

"Of course my dear Bilbo, wouldn't miss the holiday dancing at the Party Field. End of spring?" Gandalf smiled.

"Correct!" Bilbo waved his finger wisely.

"I will be there. Be sure to have some barrels of Old Toby ready for me", Gandalf said.

"Always the best for you", Bilbo winked.

Gandalf offered Bilbo a sweet smile and a caring look at the back of Thorin before leaving. Silence befell between the King and his burglar for a long time as the marching boots of the arriving armies shook the ground in front of Erebor. It was Thorin that eventually decided to break the silence.

"Missing home master burglar?" His voice was quiet.

Bilbo approached and tried to lean his elbows on the banisters like Thorin, but he was too short to manage. "I do miss it a lot", he said and searched to find something to step on.

Thorin snorted and shook his head, "I don't mind Mithrandir leaving, but I will be sad to see you go."

Bilbo raised his eyes quickly at him, "You will?"

"Was there any doubt? You became an unexpected part of our company almost a year ago. Now I cannot even imagine us without you", Thorin said with breathtaking honesty.

Bilbo felt his eyes watering, "you know I have to leave soon too right?"

Thorin nodded, "Yes."

"Ι will not allow you to remain away from me too long though. You are invited in the dancing feast of Hobbiton Hill in the end of spring also", Bilbo said and wiped away his eyes with the back of his hand.

Thorin turned at him and smiled, "Am I?"

"Yes! We will have good wine, amazing weed, lot's of music and the best company west of Erebor! Everything that a dwarf wants in order to be happy, correct?" Bilbo smiled sadly.

Thorin looked towards the long road next to the River Running, "If I can steal some time away from this place, be sure that I will be there my dear Bilbo. I admit that my heart desires this greatly."

Bilbo's face fell, "I don't know if the chains that bind you had always been this heavy, or they became such when you arrived here."

Thorin didn't hesitate, "Erebor had always been my bane, whether I was close, or far away."

Bilbo nodded, "I do wish you can make it. I want to go back home, but I also want to share all the warmth of my village with you above all people."

Thorin looked at him long and hard, before grabbing him by the arm and pulling him into an unexpectedly warm embrace that Bilbo returned with fervour, "Thank you."

Bilbo tightened his arms around Thorin's wide shoulders, "I will plant an oak tree in the back of my house for you. Hope it will bring me shade during the summer and remind me of our amazing journey."

Thorin smiled sweetly, "I hope I will see it someday."

"Will you venture to my village alone or with company, if Erebor allows you?"

Thorin pulled back and quickly looked at the road, to avoid showing Bilbo his emotions, "I am not sure about that either."

Bilbo winced and coughed to clear his throat. He caught Thorin's attention who turned to him. Then he stuck his thumbs on his vest and tapped his toe impatiently. "I forgot to give you Thranduil's personal message".

Thorin raised his brow dryly, "which is?"

"The elven lake is for the enjoyment of the elves only and you have to find another place to take your romantic interests or else you will be arrested."

Thorin remained impassive for a few moments, before chuckling, "cocky fellow."

Bilbo smiled confused, "Am I missing something here? Romantic interest?"

Thorin raised his brow, "Well."

"Well what? You have barely risen from the grave. When did you have the time to get involved with a woman?" Bilbo smiled widely.

"Sometimes things happen unexpectedly, my dear Bilbo. They fall out of the sky into our lap and we'd be crazy not to hold onto them like treasure."

Bilbo tilted his head, "who is she?"

Thorin raised both brows.

"It's the maiden isn't it?" Bilbo's eyes grew wide.

Thorin remained silent.

Bilbo hit his foot on the stone floor, "I knew it! I bloody well knew it! I told you, didn't I? There was something going back and forth between you two! I knew it!"

"Keep it down", Thorin's eyes looked cautiously at the royal guards that were standing at the flanks of the rampart.

Bilbo grinned looking awfully pleased, "you did well Thorin, very well."

Thorin's face fell, "things are not as straightforward as you might think."

Bilbo shook his head, "Yeah, yeah a King and a maiden. Difficulties about rank and so on and so forth. Come to Hobbiton and bring her with you. We'll show you how hobbits deal with such hogwash. We don't care! When we love there is nothing you can do to stop us."

Thorin pressed his lips, "I don't want to belittle you my dear Bilbo, but expectations are far lesser for you."

Bilbo sobered up quickly, "I know, but a heart is a heart and love is love, no matter the lineage one has. Isn't that right?"

Thorin looked at him pensively for a few moments before nodding, "those are the simplest and wisest words I have heard in a long time."

"Good, the invitation for the end of spring goes out to you and your lady this time", Bilbo flicked a finger at him.

Thorin smiled sadly, "Thank you."

Bilbo sobered up then and cleared his throat, "I am not leaving yet. Tell me what to do to solve this mess with the Arkenstone and I am with you."

Thorin's face fell dark and he turned his eyes on the road again, "that part my dear burglar is something that I must solve on my own. It goes back to my grandfather and now the weight of it falls on my shoulders only."

Bilbo twisted his lips testily and came to stand next to Thorin. He remained a silent sentinel thinking and rethinking of ways to unlock these two Kings in some manner and help his friend, when Thorin told him that it was time to take a rest. They parted ways, but instead of going to his throne room and asking to meet the new delegations, Thorin decided to enrapture himself in the silence of the burial vaults. Before going down there he found Gloin and gave him specific orders for the treasury and then found Dwalin and asked him to find him the best jeweller currently residing in Erebor. Afterwards he walked contemplatively down to the vaults, entered the dark abode of his nephew and found a quiet spot in one of the benches to sit. There he reflected and grieved, interchanging between uncontrollable crying that came out of nowhere filled with the memories of his boy, or settling in quiet contemplation, that twisted around the mess with the Arkenstone. He lost track of time down there, not counting the moments, but his tears. Not minding the time, but his anger towards the mess that his grandfather had caused with the elves. A mess that he was once more called upon to clear up.

When the soft steps of his sister broke the eerie silence of the vaults he didn't lift his head up from the back wall. He kept his eyes closed, but his hand tightened above his bend knee expectantly. Waiting for her to address him. He hadn't talked to her since he called Eilin's name loud enough to alert the whole of Erebor, and ardently enough to declare to everyone their situation. He was not in a hurry for a confrontation.

"Hi love", her voice was soft.

He didn't open his eyes, "Hi gerbil."

"Came to see Kili?"

He nodded and felt his eyes overflowing with fresh tears.

"Brought him some fresh flowers", her voice was broken.

He opened his eyes to check on her through the shadows. She approached and cleaned the flower stand on the top of the marble grave. Dis wrapped the old flowers in a cloth and placed the new ones on it. She too a lot of time to arranged them beautifully.

"Are you planting the old ones in the grounds?" He whispered.

She nodded, "of course. I hope to see them take up roots. Then I will know that his soul is resting."

"Come, sit next to me", he offered and she approached.

"Do you talk to him often?" She whispered.

His arm came around her shoulder and drew he in, "No, I don't want to keep him imprisoned here with us."

She sniffled and rested her head on his shoulder. Then she brought her legs up to her chest and leaned on his lap, "I should try to do the same, for I talk to him every day before going to bed."

"Let him go gerbil", he encouraged her with a firm caress on her shoulder.

"I can't", she admitted with a painful sob.

He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, "You have to. We have to. Kili is free now."

She cried then and he cradled her with great pain in his heart, both for his nephew and for his sister. Thorin held her for a long time until she had emptied herself on him, caressing her hair gently and rocking her until until she had released all her grief.

He wiped his silent tears on his shoulder without wanting to alert her to his own despair. When he felt her hand drawing firm circles on his chest, he knew that she was starting to get a grip on her emotions. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, not in a mood to speak about anything. After a long time though she broke their blessed silence with her whisper.

"Thank you about Dongar."

"Did Fili place him in the royal guards?"

He felt her nod, "Yes, as commander."

He pressed his lips, "He's worth it. He proved his loyalty to me."

"You made his life hell", she accused, yet her undertone was not serious.

"For far less time than I did to your husband. Consider him lucky", he dared a smile that was not heartfelt.

"You know, talking like this makes you sound like a hypocrite."

"Why is that?" He frowned.

"We are siblings and therefore equal right?"

He humphed, "get on with it."

"I should make Eilin's life a misery to make sure she's worth it also", she said.

He sighed, "Do you really need to do that? She's been through hell since birth and she has already proven her loyalty to both you and me. Repeatedly."

She settled back into his arms, "Wise words."

He nodded.

"I cannot stop thinking how right you had been though..." she let the thought trail between them.

"About what?"

"When you told me that I have no idea what you need. I would have never bet for Eilin", she smiled.

He didn't speak and she felt the need to clarify, "You denied every woman that ever approached you. How could I have imagined that this service girl, so different in appearance, would eventually steal your heart. I imagine that is what she has done for you to risk everything in order to declare your involvement so ardently in front of everyone."

"She is very special", he said quietly.

"Special, or special to you?" Dis asked gently.

"Both gerbil. Are you going to make my life hard about all this like Balin? I don't think I can take it." He winced and closed his eyes again.

She found his hand and stippled her fingers through his, "if you think I am out for explanations you are mistaken. Thorin, you stood by my side when I declared my love for a simple miner. You fought by his side until he died in battle and you stood like a angel above me and my family when we grieved his loss. You raised my children as your own and made no attempts to find a woman and have your own babies."

He tensed, but she missed it.

"I almost lost you so many times and this last one up in Ravenhill feels like the worst of them all. Do you think there was even the slightest possibility that I would make your life hard about Eilin? If she was able to run off with the heart of the most difficult man of our kin, then she's good enough to be called my sister. I will do whatever I can to help you and her through this, for it won't be easy. Rumours are already flying free."

He tightened his arms around her and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, "thank you my love."

"No doubt about my loyalty to you wolf and no doubt in my trust for your choices. When Eilin returned the diamond hair bead to me instead of taking it for herself, she proved her honesty and innocence of heart. I understand what it is you saw in her."

He sighed deeply in relief, but remained silent.

They held each other tightly after Dis' comforting words, until Thorin told her that he needed to get back up and face the music about everything. She declared once more her full support concerning Eilin, something that he rewarded by loving words in Khuzdul and several warm kisses on her head and hands. Before going up, he told her not to stay too long down there and to plant one of the old flowers at his balcony if she could. She nodded across the shadows as he walked pensively away from the burial vaults.

-.-

Instead of going to his office, he decided once more to hide himself in order to think. Thorin ended up in the top most rampart and the two guards that stood out there overlooking the valley retreated to the interior and stood at the flanks of the archway, discreetly. He climbed up the side of the stone embrasures and leaned his back on the very rocks of Erebor, like he had done so many times when he was a young prince here. The memories of that beloved spot flooded him and he felt instantly more serene. From that height he could overlook the valley, Dale, Ravenhill and a good part of eastern Mirkwood. He looked down at the road that was still animated with soldiers and newly arriving families. Then his eyes got lost into the grey clouds on the horizon and the snow that was falling heavily, covering his land with a heavy white blanket. He barely felt the cold, nevertheless he tucked his chin into his fur lapels, letting his mind drift, reflecting upon all the possible ways out of the complicated situation concerning the Arkenstone. Thorin needed results and he needed them quickly and Dale was certainly not the quick way out, as Mithrandir believed. So deep was he entranced into his thoughts that he didn't notice when Eilin neared him.

"Hey there handsome", she said with a smile.

He opened his eyes quickly. "You really took me by surprise."

"I can see that", she approached him.

He raised his hand to stop her and then looked back at the archway, "Take a break. All is well up here", he said to the guards.

Eilin turned to see them making a military salute to the balcony and then walking down the steps in a clear military tempo.

She placed her small palm on his thigh, "I wonder what's twisting around that pretty head of yours, causing you to become oblivious of the world around you."

He winced, "A lot."

"Figures. What's ailing you?" She said.

"Matters of state", he shook his head.

"That means I shouldn't try to wrap my small head around them, right? Too complicated to be shared with your dame?" She teased.

He raised his brow, "on the contrary, I'd feel deeply honoured if you were interested in my business."

She raised her brow and offered him her hand, "Help me up."

He pulled her up with ease. "I am glad to see the timid Eilin becoming more and more obsolete."

She settled behind him and opened up her legs around him. "Do you think I'd miss the opportunity to see this breathtaking view? From all the places you have taken me, this is the most impressive and it was all the time right in front of me."

"It is beautiful, isn't it?" he mused at the horizon.

She pulled him by the shoulders and he scooted back, until her bend knee was right under his armpit. His fingers caressed the fur on her boot. "Is this your hiding spot?"

A lopsided smile came to his lips, "One of them, yes."

"Good choice. Is everyone allowed up here?" she reached up and ran her fingers through his long wavy hair.

He shivered in pleasure, "Actually no. Only the royal family and the royal guards."

She tried to comb through his hair without a brush, the best she could with her fingers, "I suppose I was allowed because I am your maiden."

He nodded calmly, "Yes."

"You hair is a tangled mess. Wish I had brought a brush", she winced.

"Use your hands, it feels perfect anyway", he closed his eyes and sighed in deep satisfaction.

She run her fingers through his mane. From his head down to the ends repeatedly. She felt his physical reaction, "You love having your hair touched, don't you?"

"Mmmm, immensely. Your touch can send me to the undying lands", he nodded.

She laughed and continued her loving caress.

"You've been asking for information on courting rituals or taking notes?" he smiled. He couldn't deny that the moment her hands got intimately involved with his hair he felt his whole body breaking with goosebumps. The sensitivity he had in that particular place of his body was monumental.

She bit her lower lip, "Both, what did you think? That I was going to let the thing you love most go unexploited from my side? I've waited long enough to tell you the truth. I should have used these tricks much earlier. Especially judging by the ecstasy in your face right now." She loved to take care of him, as much as he loved to take care of her, and she appreciated deeply that he had introduced her to these beautiful rituals. They bonded her with this man in many unforseen ways.

His laugh gifted her with a soft exhalation of pleasure, at it's end.

"See? Look at you…you are in heaven already", she removed the two thick beads from the back of his hair. She gave them to him.

"I am…" he admitted and his hand came up to caress her shin firmly, to show her how much he appreciated her caring touch.

"Yet, behind your closed eyes, there are still worries that you need to communicate with your dame", she split his thick hair into three equal parts.

He frowned and his fingers curled around her leg protectively. She felt him tensing.

"Tell me what is worrying you", she said and peaked above his shoulder to look at his face. It looked serene, but the small twitch at the side of his mouth spoke of an internal turmoil that she needed to bring to the surface.

It took him a long time to answer as she was braiding him. "The Arkenstone."

She stopped and winced. "I've heard about that. Erebor is brimming with rumours. You are worried about the new delegations, aren't you?"

"The new and the old. They expect to find the Arkenstone above my throne. They arrived here to pledge their allegiance to the king's gem and it's missing", he opened his eyes and scowled at the horizon.

"Their allegiance to you", she corrected and resumed her braiding.

"To the king's gem", he repeated and shook his head, "they don't care about the king that sits under it."

"I think you are wrong", she frowned.

"I am not. It's the Arkenstone that united the families under a ruler. Not the ruler himself. More than one Kings have passed or will pass through Erebor. Only one had the gem above his throne and the power to unite the families. My grandfather. After the loss of the Arkenstone, we lost all hope of reuniting the dwarven race. My rule will be followed by others. My nephew, my cousin. Their children in the future. They might rule the Lonely Mountain, but without the gem they won't be able to unite the families", he said quietly.

"Well that might explain your ardent need to have it back", she raised her brow.

"Without it, this journey would have been for naught", he nodded, feeling the burden of it all weighing him down.

"For naught? What about us then?" Her hands stopped their toil and her eyes tried to find his.

His fingers curled under her knee possessively and he smiled back at her, "you are so right. Living without knowing you would have been the worst curse."

She smiled affectionately and felt warmth forming on her lower stomach, inside and out, "You saved it, just barely."

He smiled.

She showed him her palm and he placed one of the thick golden beads in it, "so where are we now concerning this famous gem?"

"The elves have it and are unwilling to part with it on my terms", his thick brows wavered with annoyance.

She placed the bead at the end of his long braid and turned him around. She looked at his face and cleared some loose tendrils around his temples. "On your terms?"

He raised his brow, "they have to come to Erebor, in order to do the exchange."

"And they don't want that?" She placed a finger on her lips trying to decide if she liked him with his hair free or with this braid.

"No they are adamant that I go there instead."

Her lips pursed, "why do you think they don't want to come to Erebor?"

"Because my grandfather used their last trade to rob and ridicule them", he said bluntly.

"That sounded painfully honest", she said impressed.

"It was", he agreed.

Her fingers glided over the rims of his thick braid, appreciating its softness "Why don't you go there?"

"Thranduil abandoned my people when they needed him the most", his voice became deep.

"During this battle?" she threw her arms around his shoulders and leaned her cheek on the back of his head.

"No, when Smaug took over Erebor."

She frowned, "you mean more than a century ago?"

He nodded.

"But in this battle he didn't abandon your people. He fought for you, as you did for him", she said feeling confounded by the way his mind was trying to work through all these moulded feelings of long ago.

His brows moved with indecision, "these words are true."

"So you are acting this way about something the Elven King did to your grandfather, who in turn had duped him in the worst way possible", she raised her brow and caressed his forehead.

He shook his head intending to say no, but slowly that shake became a hesitant nod, "I suppose so."

"Tell me, why do you insist so much that he comes here?"

"It is what Thror and Thrain would have wanted", he said without so much as a thought.

Her eyes took on a clear understanding of how things stood, "So you are trying to act like your forefathers would have expected you, right?"

He swallowed heavily. He didn't want to say yes, but it was the truth. He nodded silently.

"Has it ever crossed your mind that they are not in charge now, but you are?" she pulled him gently to lay on her.

He relaxed and pulled her bend knee onto his side, keeping her close. "I have been trained to think like them from a very young age", he said, remembering the old words of his sister that seemed so painfully true now in retrospect. That Thrain had moulded him as his exact replica in everything.

"You mean to think like the Mountain King?" She smiled and began a soft caress from his temples, towards the back of his head.

"Yes", his brow flickered.

"That brooding guy that always stays behind when you are with me?" She asked playfully, trying to alleviate his seriousness.

He was unable to stop the honest smile that curled his lips up, "Yes."

"I don't like him much, he scares me. I prefer you instead", her fingers burrowed into his silver locks, searching for his darker ones and something snapped free from his body. She felt it.

He sighed deeply.

"Have you ever tried thinking through this problem like Thorin? Like the man I am holding right now, instead of the King?" She said quietly and her fingers massaged his temples gently.

"No, never", he admitted, feeling deeply thoughtful and very relaxed.

"What would Thorin have done with this problem?" she whispered and leaned her head back to the rock, letting her eyes get lost into the grey horizon, as her fingers drew intricate patterns of affection onto his head.

"I honestly don't know", he frowned troubled by his inability to give her a certain answer. Her questions should have been easy to answer and yet they weren't.

She kissed the back of his head and wrapped an arm around his neck loosely. "If I tell you my opinion, will you pretend to care about it and then discard it as useless?"

His hand came up and enclosed her forearm gently. "I will listen to it with the greatest of care and if I feel that it is for the best of the kingdom I will use it. If not, you will forgive me for overlooking it."

"I am no wise advisor nor do I have any great experience with how one is supposed to rule these amazing cities of gold, but give this a chance", her voice turned serious.

"I am listening my sweet", he reassured her.

"Take Thror and Thrain out of the equation. Eliminate Erebor, your advisors, the delegations and that you are about to sit on that throne as King of the seven families. Forget how Thranduil betrayed your people and how your family betrayed him. Shut everyone out of your mind and quiet down the overwhelming thoughts. What would an unprocessed and raw Thorin have done to get the Arkenstone back? What would you have done before being touched by the influence of your forefathers? How would the Thorin that stole Thranduil's horse to piss him off, would have handled this negotiation? Can you answer these questions?"

"Maybe", he frowned.

"If you can answer like my Thorin and not the Mountain King, I think you'll find your solution. I believe that the uninhibited Thorin that I have come to know, holds all the answers for you", she smiled.

A ghostly smile appeared on his lips and he pressed her forearm, "Thank you for taking the time to help me, my beautiful Eilin."

Her fingers run through the greyish hair on his temple and forehead. "Will you take my suggestions seriously?"

"Of course I will," he frowned confused.

She sighed and snuggled against his head, "Thank you."

"You didn't expect me to?" He stood up and turned to her. His eyes bore into hers.

She hesitated for a moment before shaking her head, "No."

"You don't give yourself enough credit. You just gave me a unique outlook on this problem. A fresh point of view that no one from my close vicinity is able to have and I appreciate it deeply", he spoke with such warm candidness that she felt her heart sparkling up from happiness.

"You make me feel special."

His hand came up to stroke her cheek lovingly. "You are special. You don't only have my deepest respect, but also my solemn attention on everything", his tone gained in seriousness.

She shuddered, "even in royal matters that a simple maiden shouldn't get involved with?"

"A maiden shouldn't, the King's lady should", he muted her with his thoughtful words.

The word love got lodged in her windpipes again. Then she drew him back onto her body and commenced her gentle caress on his hair, until his body relaxed completely. As the heavy snow fell around them, she didn't feel any cold as she was mostly covered by his large frame. She didn't care about how heavy he was becoming as he was letting go more and more onto her. She continued her soft caress, feeling her shoulder in pain from the heaviness of his head, and his hand slipped away from her forearm. His other hand dangled useless on her shin and she heard his breath becoming steady and heavy. She smiled at the grey skies and leaned her head back, cradling him as he slept in her arms, without ever wanting to disturb his quiet repose. The feeling of wholesomeness for making him sleep so easily and the pride that drummed in her heart that he allowed her into his problems and also took her advice into consideration overflowed her with bliss. Nothing would have been able to move her right now and dislodge him. She could hold him as he slept like that forever. She wanted to be the arms that cradled his rest until the end of all time.

* * *

Several miles away from them, in the midland mountain ranges, not far away from Rivendell, Karunn was dismissing the escort of her uncle Dain.

"Is this the way to Bree?" she asked and pulled her hood down her face. Even though the cold here was more forgiving than in the north, she was still rather frozen and rather tired from all those days travelling.

"Keep on this road and once you clear out of the wilderness of Rivendell you will find yourself in a deep valley, between the Weather Hills and Eregion. Straight between these small mountains is the village of Bree", one of the soldiers said.

"We have orders from Lord Dain to remain with you my lady", another one said and bowed.

"I will manage, return back to my uncle", she said dismissively and took the reins in her hands.

"These places are crawling with vagabond orcs my Lady. You might need help down the way", one of them tried gentler.

"I will need no assistance. How long a ride you think?" she looked at them coldly.

"With the horses you have and this carriage no more than a week and a half, maybe a week if you push them to the limit", the soldier looked at his comrades.

"Very well, you are dismissed", she said and set her carriage in motion.

They remained behind speechless. Despite their arguments that it was impossible for a dwarrowdam to travel on her own in this wilderness, she was not only authoritative enough to convince them, but also seemed rather fearless. The soldiers remained behind waiting for her to gain some distance, before agreeing to follow her on foot until she reached some safe place at least without her seeing them. Returning back to Dain and revealing that they had left her alone in the middle of nowhere would equal their death sentence. When the soldiers finally began their quick trekking behind her, Karunn was not experience enough to understand it. She was concentrated on her task. On the only thing that could keep her focused ever since the Mountain King ridiculed her because of that fucking stable girl. It was the only thing that fed her hope that she could get her revenge on Eilin and in consequence on the vain and haughty King that belittled her. She kept her eyes steadily forth and a devilish smile was painted on her lips, as a shadow of darkness covered her brow.


	34. Hope is not lost

The very next morning found Thorin pacing in his office, full of nervousness. The situation with the Arkenstone was choking him and the wise words of Eilin still rang loud in his ears. He reflected on their simplicity as he played harp for her to sleep last night. When she did, he remained awake for a rather long time, contemplating what he should do about all this mess. At the end of the day retrieving the Arkenstone was his job and he was answerable for it to many people. He had been trying to do it the way his father and grandfather would have wanted. Maybe that was his mistake. Thranduil was much older than him and had feuds with his family long before he ever took over the rule. Some of them he could justify, some not, but now his time had come to write history.

It was his time to prove that he was not ruling in Thror's footsteps, but that he was paving his own path, like he had done for a hundred years in the Blue Mountains. There, the independence of his rule was indisputable by the ghosts of the past. He was free to rule as his heart commanded and he had been very successful. Here in Erebor though he felt the same ghosts throttling every ounce of what felt just, out of him. The moment he entered this old, beloved stronghold it felt as if both his father and grandfather arose from the dead and stood by his side. Silent sentinels judging his every move. Ready to condemn or applaud him. Was the beautiful and loyal Eilin, also clever beyond her years? Were her words truly as outstanding in their honesty as he felt them right at that moment?

He unclasped his hands from his back and turned to look at the chest that held the White Gems of Lasgalen, still sitting under heavy locks at the side of his desk, unexploited by both him and the elves. His mood was already deteriorating when he called the wife and daughter of the poor miner that died in his arms to check if they required anything more. He had met with the widow the same evening the accident took place, here in this office. He came face to face with a broken woman that could barely understand what was going on and a child that clang onto her mother with mind blowing terror. He was the one that led her to sit close to the fire and tried to comfort her, even though he knew it was impossible. Hadn't he lost perchance the woman he loved once upon another lifetime? Didn't he know the shock, the blind numbness, the cold squeezing your heart, the inability to comprehend, to understand, to take in any information? Didn't he know the anger, the despair and the desolation? He knew every single feeling he saw passing over that woman's face. Above all though his heart broke for the little girl who remained fearfully away from him, as he was the one that delivered the news about her father. He had been the envoy of death.

He drew back respectfully and allowed this pained family to cocoon around itself protectively for a long time, before giving the widow her husband's token. That is when the woman broke down completely and he knelt down next to her and embraced her quietly. She released her grief as he held her in his arms until she decided to crawl out of his office and back to her abode. Thorin asked Balin to relocate her into the first level residential area that was reserved for the most privileged citizens. She was to be offered work as a royal maiden under Eilin' supervision. Her payment was going to be rather substantial and she was going to be under the protection of the royal family henceforth. The woman at that moment offered a meek thank you, without acknowledging what he was doing for her, which was excused.

Today though when she visited she had been much more grateful and open with him. Her daughter had come along and they both offered him freshly picked flowers from the forest alongside the River Running. Loa told him that his personal maiden was an exceptionally gentle girl that took her immediately under her protection and began showing her the ins and the outs of the kitchens and what was required by the royal siblings, the prince and Lord Dain. He admired the wooden dove worn around her neck with a sad smile reassuring her that his family was there for them, before escorting them out.

Then he was alone again, pondering at the chest on his desk, until the door knocked and Balin entered with the jeweller he had requested the other day.

"This is Gísli, the best jeweller of the Iron Hills. He only recently relocated with his family to Erebor and he's at your orders your majesty," Balin bowed.

"Thank you Balin," Thorin's gaze dismissed him and his friend closed the door behind him quietly.

Thorin's eyes fell heavy on the respectful elder dwarf that stood with his hands crossed and his head bowed, "My lord, I am at your orders," he spoke after a few moments of indecision.

Thorin checked on him from head to toe, "I was informed that a good reputation precedes you."

"Yes my Lord. I made most of the jewellery required by master Fain and Dain, and also I traded a lot with the elves of Mirkwood and the common folk that could afford my prices."

Thorin beckoned him closer and the man approached, "I will show you what I have and you will tell me what you can do with it."

The man nodded and kept his eyes on the two velvet pouches on Thorin's desk, "of course my lord."

Thorin untied both of them. When he opened them up, poor Gísli's eyes grew wide with admiration. He was at a loss for words. "A bar of pure gold and fifteen flawless diamonds," Thorin said quietly.

"Internally flawless?" Gísli looked up eagerly.

"of course," Thorin raised his brow.

"Very rare and expensive my lord. What do you wish made out of them?" Gísli bowed respectfully. It was the first time he was been given such expensive materials to work upon.

"A dove pendant, a chain and amulet. On the back of the dove, the insignia of my family should be engraved."

Gísli raised his brow, "Shall I use the diamonds to enhance the dove's body, or wings or…" he raised his hands feeling overwhelmed.

"You choose. Just make sure it is made with care and that the result is nothing less than stunning," Thorin said and covered up the pouches.

Gísli rubbed his hands together in anticipation, "thank you for trusting me my lord. Will it be a token of love, or something more official and typical looking?"

"Most definitely a token of love. Give it the utmost love yourself," Thorin smiled at him, "and you shall be paid well."

"I never had a doubt my lord," he said.

Thorin tied down the pouches and gave them to Gísli, "when shall it be ready?"

"I will need at least a month," Gísli winced, "it is a very delicate job and I want to do it to perfection. I will put all my other work on hold for you my Lord."

"Thank you," Thorin tilted his head and walked around his office. That was his signal for dismissal and Gísli bowed to the ground, holding the pouches to his chest like treasure.

"It's my honour to serve you my lord," he said and left the office as quietly as he had entered.

When Thorin was left alone once more in the silent confines of his office, his eyes fell darkly on the chest and he began a slow pacing in front of his desk that continued long enough for him to almost dig a ditch on the carved stone floor. His mind was going back and forth together with his legs.

There was a knock on his door, then another, and yet another. The first one had been Fili, second Balin and the last one Dori. Thorin stopped pacing, looked over at the door, gritted his teeth, looked back at the chest and began pacing again, like a caged lion. When after a long time his pacing stopped, he was standing right in front of the chest, with his eyes grim and cold looking down at it for what felt like a thousand years.

When he threw his office door open, it was done with such force that it crashed upon it's hinges. His military pace stopped for no one and led him down to the stables. As he rode up to the entrance and a moment before the guards opened up the gates, Balin caught up with him along with Dwalin.

"Where are you off to laddie? The heads of the new delegations need to talk to you. You have been avoiding it for too long and are digging a grave with your own hands," Balin sounded accusing.

"I have something important to take care off," Thorin said and signalled the guards to open the heavy doors.

"Something more important than your obligations?" Balin crossed his arms and raised his brow.

"Something of utmost importance," he tilted his head.

"Even more important than the feast for my birthday, which you seem to have forgotten?" Dwalin smiled, apparently taking Thorin's unexpected excursion far less seriously than his glowering brother.

"I've forgotten nothing, believe me," he smiled down at his friend knowingly.

Balin approached and took hold of the reins. His horse neighed annoyed and Thorin steadied it. Balin lowered his head, thinking how to express himself without angering his friend. After a few tense moments, he looked up, "I know that you are overwhelmed, being pulled around by all of us in every way possible. You are still recovering from a mortal wound and you have to face the situation with the lost Arkenstone and five of the seven delegations along with two thousand newly arrived soldiers. You have to deal with the immigration flow that keeps coming endlessly and you have to rebuild this city and make it run efficiently on top of everything else. In the midst of all that you also have to deal with Eilin."

Thorin tensed.

Balin shook his head, "I advised against this folly and my words fell to the void. Not only did you announce to all of us the situation between you and that sweet poor girl, but also to several royal guards. They are not men to speak, but don't you think that rumours have begun circulating? Whispers are coming and going in every cavern and level of this city about the King's preference for his beautiful maiden. The common people are having a blast out of your situation, understandably. They see their daughters in the place of Eilin and have hope that such fairytales do happen in real life, but are they aware that such fairytales rarely have a good ending? The whispers have reached the delegations and there is a frozen expectation coming from them. On one hand they need to see the King of Erebor take action for the Arkenstone and on the other they fear the rumours that you are bedding your maiden out of marriage. That sounds to them as dishonourable as it sounds to me."

Thorin inhaled sharply and his eyes looked almost murderous.

Balin raised his hand, "I am not saying you are dishonourable towards Eilin. I am telling you that is how the delegations perceive the whispers that surround your name. I understand that everything must feel consuming and overwhelming beyond reason, but you have to take action. For the Arkenstone and for Eilin. Clear up your position."

"Don't doubt my ability to carry my own Balin. You are making me furious," Thorin raised his brow.

"He is handling the army, the immigrants, the accidents, the orcs surrounding our lands and the Lonely Mountain expertly. Give him a break," Dwalin frowned.

"I know he is, that is why I am reminding him of these two untouched problems. Son, you never failed us," Balin looked up at him.

Thorin raised his brow.

"Don't do it now that all these people are rooting for you," Balin felt his eyes watering.

"I still have to ask permission to be happy. Is that what you are telling me?" Thorin looked at him dismissively.

"You have to understand that it's not us you are asking it out off, it's your people…it's Erebor…the seven families…nay scratch that…the six families, because the Longbeards are going to support your every decision. Eilin included or not," Balin said angrily.

"You are making me feel this is Siv's story in repetition," Thorin hurled feeling angered.

"It is exactly that, with an even grimmer twist," Balin crossed his arms.

"Because of her rank…" he raised his brow coldly.

"Exactly. Why do you need someone to dictate to you the bleeding obvious? No one, apart from your close friends will ever accept the King of the seven families to bed a maiden!" Balin waved his arms around him madly.

Thorin's lips pressed testily, "Well then, how about engage the maiden and make this official for the delegations," he let the words take their expected toll on Balin.

Dwalin harked and crossed his arms.

Balin inhaled sharply as if he had been struck in the face and pulled back.

"Did I just break your onslaught?" Thorin smirked.

"You cannot engage her laddie, get your head together please," Balin's voice broke.

"Why not?"

"She worked in a tavern my boy. I know you love her, she probably loves you too…" Balin shook his head.

"Probably?" Thorin raised his brow.

Balin steeled his heart and tightened his teeth, "She worked in a tavern and you know that maidens there work several jobs, not just the obvious."

Thorin blanched.

"You have thought about it. The thought has passed through your mind…" Balin raised his finger.

"Never. It is unbearable though to know that this abominable thought has crossed your mind," Thorin's eyes became immeasurably sad.

"It is common logic. Maybe the girl had to work as a prostitute at some point. Maybe they forced her…"

"Based on what? Assumptions? Why would they force her?"

"As an exchange for a roof over her head. Living in such conditions is very hard and you know it. You've lived inside these taverns. Was it few times that common women offered you their services in exchange for money?" Balin crossed his arms.

"Eilin is not like that. She preferred to live like a wildling in the Dunlands than stay inside that tavern!" Thorin was fuming.

"And yet one cannot be certain…"

"Why are you seeding me with doubt of such dark shades? Stop it unless you want this to escalate quickly to every wrong direction possible. Eilin is not like that. Find some other poor excuse to convince me otherwise," Thorin's eyes spewed fire.

"You are that decided then?" Balin rubbed his forehead.

Thorin looked down coldly.

Balin's shoulders slouched, "Very well, the six families will have a rather hard time accepting a maiden as their future queen. Forget her past, let us not care about it at all."

Thorin's eyes bore into his heavily.

"They will not accept her Thorin and they are ready to pledge their families to your rule."

"My rule shouldn't have anything to do with me engaging Eilin," Thorin said dryly.

"But it does don't you see? Your father had been right, for all the wrong reasons! No matter how much you hate it, or me for that matter…"

Thorin huffed and looked away.

"Me …yes ME!" Balin thundered and punched his chest passionately, "because I've sworn my blood to you as my King and I love you dearly! So yes, seeing you torn again like this, tears me apart also! But someone has to be the voice of reason here! Your choices might cost you your throne! Not all the families will pledge their swords to you! Some will deny due to Eilin's heritage, not because of your rule. Not because of your worth, but because of your woman! She's got no backstory that we know off apart from that sleazy tavern. We don't even know who her parents were!"

Thorin swallowed hard and felt his throat becoming dry. His hands tightened around the reins as he tried to control the fury in him.

Balin drew back after that explosion, "we cannot afford this laddie. Not after what we have all been through. Not after everything you have sacrificed in order to sit in that throne. Not after all the pieces we have scattered on the road to regain our homeland. We cannot afford to bail out at the last moment. Not after two hundred years of legendary history on your back and a name written down in history with golden letters. You…Thorin…cannot afford that!" He shook his head and his eyes filled with tears.

Thorin averted his eyes, "enough," his voice echoed deep.

Balin wiped the tears from his face, "I love you son and I am speaking the truth. Every time I see you hurt, I hurt myself."

"Enough Balin, please," Thorin gave his friend a final desolate look and turned his horse around. Without a word he galloped out of the open gate, leaving a rather disturbed Balin behind and an annoyed Dwalin that immediately turned to his brother when Thorin was gone. "He has enough on his mind already. Get off his back!"

"I am trying to protect him you fool!" Balin grumbled.

"He needs to be allowed to make his own decisions. Like he was doing back in the Blue Mountains. He doesn't need a guard dog now as he didn't need one back then," Dwalin crossed his arms.

"Back then, there wasn't an Eilin threatening his throne and drawing his attention away from matters of state. A woman's touch can be both healing and consuming and right now Thorin doesn't need to be consumed by anything else than Erebor," Balin's eyes became hard.

"He needs to heal and she can do it," Dwalin's eyes narrowed on his brother.

"He cannot have both as he couldn't have them with Siv. You know it, I know it and he knows it. At the end of the day he will have to choose the throne or her. What will happen then Dwalin? It cannot end well. Someone will bleed. Him, her, or the whole of Erebor….I don't know."

"He has given up his happiness for our people all his life. I will not root for him to repeat that and if that means that Erebor's very stones have to bleed in order for him to pursue his happiness, I will be the one to squeeze out their last drop of blood!" Dwalin declared and marched away from Balin who looked in despair both at Thorin's horse galloping away into the hard snowfall and Dwalin's stiff back.

* * *

It was late afternoon the same day, that found Eilin, dressed in a coat with white fur lapels and heavy fur boots, helping Loa handle the fresh hunt that the hunters had brought in for the royal family. The widow didn't seem as lost and desolate as the first days that she came to work under Eilin by Thorin's orders. She was willing to learn and worked hard. Her daughter, one of the prettiest girls Eilin had ever seen, was trying to help both her mother and the King's maiden. Her wide chocolate eyes were looking at Eilin eager to catch every single word or advice she was offering. She was much more consumed in their tasks than her mother, which spoke clearly about Loa's distress.

Eilin looked around as several families were gathered at the gates in order to get in the food before the sun set and everything froze around them. The gates these days were closing early in order to keep Erebor's warmth locked inside as outside the temperatures became almost unbearable, especially during the night. Eilin could see her breath coming out in small clouds as she went through the hunt of the day with Loa and Lis in tow, choosing the best parts of each animal for the royal family and allowing the rest of the hunt to be given to the delegations and Thorin's comrades.

They were not the only ones occupying the entrance though. There was also a long line of refugees coming in, but that was a common sight. It never stopped, not even during the rough hours of the night as more families asked admittance in the Lonely Mountain. So Balin had placed several scribes with Ori on the lead inside the heavy gates to make an entry of each family, before relocating them in the residential areas. Moreover Dwalin was out there with Dain, Fili and Dongar, a little further off sorting out several soldiers that had put their names down for the trials of the royal guards. They were being tested in hand to hand combat, and Eilin couldn't but admire their stamina as they fought with bare hands, half naked into the heavy storm. She knew that somewhere in the distance the first lines of protection around Erebor and Dale were suffering the elements of nature harder than any of them down here.

"Miss, wow…." Lis reached out to touch her warrior braid that was hanging free close to her stomach. The rest of her hair was tucked in a loose bun under her heavy hood.

Eilin smiled and passed the meat cleaver onto Loa, "You like it?"

Loa took it and began cleaning out the dear that was in front of them.

"You must have been very brave in order to get a warrior braid!" Lis grinned.

"I don't think so, but the man who made it for me seems to believe it," Eilin's eyes softened.

"What did you do? Kill orcs? Trolls? A huge angry warg? Did you maybe fight a…a….a…" -Lis mumbled and then her eyes grew even wider- "a… ring-wraith?" She whispered obviously frightened out of her wits.

Eilin was unable not to smile widely at that. She leaned over and pinched Lis's cheek, "I am not that brave no, but I have fought against a boar."

Lis' eyes sparkled, "was it huge? Was it mean? Was it angry?"

Loa offered them a sad smile and continued her work.

"It was huge, it was mean and it was absolutely furious! I shot it down with a single arrow on the side of it's neck. Impressive feat of arms, right?" Eilin tried to play along with the enthusiasm of the little girl.

Lis clapped and giggled, "Yeah! Did it die at once?!"

Eilin scrounged her nose, "immediately."

"Did you hunt it for food?" Lis smiled.

Eilin's eyes became reminiscent for a second, losing some of their playfulness, "No, I killed to save someone important to me."

Lis's eyes popped open and her mouth dropped, "then you are brave! You were worth this braid!"

Loa turned to them, "She is right ma'm. You saved a life. You are a warrior."

Eilin turned her kind eyes at her, "I am just playing along."

Loa shook her head, "a warrior braid is earned. It is not ornamental ma'am. He who made it for you judged you worthy," her eyes fell at the hair bead on the end of Eilin's braid, but she didn't speak anymore.

"When I grow up I am going to be a warrior princess like you! I will learn how to use a sword and a bow and arrow and I will hunt not only boars, but orcs and trolls and all sorts of nasty creatures!" Lis clapped her hands.

"I am no warrior princess honey. I am just a maiden like you," Eilin said quietly.

Lis stopped and looked at her, "You are a warrior that saves lives and a princess since the King likes you so much! Therefore warrior princess!"

Eilin felt the blood draining from her face.

Loa's brows creased as she turned to her daughter, "Lis that's enough!"

Eilin took a few moments to gather herself, "No, it's alright. Are there" -she cleared her throat- "are there such rumours going about?"

Loa hesitated and looked up from the butchered dear. "There are miss, even though it is not our place to speak of such things."

Eilin forced a smile that felt fake, "don't worry, I have heard it all I think. What are the over imaginative dames of the kitchens been spreading around?"

Loa averted her eyes, "just usual nonsense. That you have been spotted wearing the King's coat on several occasions, that you come and go regularly from his rooms, which is justified since you are serving him. That you have been seen riding with him on his animal and that the bead at the end of your warrior braid has a Longbeard sigil on it."

Eilin's heart fell with each word uttered by Loa. She felt sweat breaking on her forehead. Had Dwalin been right? Had they been oblivious about how obvious they were to everyone? Did Thorin know that what he did the other day probably made things even worst? Did he even care? Did she even care? Each thought became a gnawing little traitorous monster whispering doubt into her ears. Her hand pushed her warrior braid on the back of her hood protectively and Loa noticed.

"You shouldn't mind the rumours ma'm. People make up things about important people, when they have nothing else to worry about. If we were still in the Wilderlands at a loss for warmth or a place to sleep, no one would have bothered about such silliness. Now under the protection of the Longbeards, people are eager to create stories. Possibly stories that can serve as a gleam of hope for their previously dire states," Loa said calmly and resumed the slicing of the hunt. Lis was listening carefully.

"A gleam of hope?" Eilin frowned.

Loa looked at her softly, "If a King can fall in love with a maiden and stand his ground for her, then anything is possible in life isn't it? Hope is not lost."

Eilin felt her eyes quickly welling and looked away, pretending to search for another knife.

Loa grabbed her hand and placed the knife in it, "Isn't that right?" She repeated.

Eilin turned her clear eyes on her, not feeling safe that she wouldn't betray all her thoughts under this woman's gentle probing, "No…hope is not lost," she whispered.

Loa pulled back and sat on her heels. Then she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, "No, hope is not lost. Especially under this King ma'm."

Eilin lowered her eyes to the bloody knife with eerie silence.

"My husband died in his arms," Loa said and sniffled.

Eilin's eyes came ablaze as she looked up at the woman. Lis embraced her mom. "what?"

"Nipvari, my darling husband died in the arms of the King that dreadful day of the furnace accident. The King called me to his office to give me this," she said and drew the wooden dove that her husband left her.

Eilin's eyes overflowed with tears instantly, "I am so sorry."

Loa shook her head, "the King took care of me and my wee daughter immediately. He never allowed us a moment to feel alone and abandoned. He offered us new lodgings and work. He offered me dignity and the freedom to grieve for my husband, without worrying about the future of our child. He took us under his wing. He brought us to you and you…ma'm…you are a bright star of kindness. I cannot thank you for what you have done."

Eilin was at a loss for words. She leaned over and embraced the woman, "I did nothing more than take orders from him about you."

Loa shook her head and cried silently in her arms as Eilin held her. She looked at the hunter that was holding the dear and dismissed him. When they were alone she pulled back and looked at both Loa and Lis, "You are not alone. Tell me if there is something more that I can do for you, please."

Loa smiled sadly and wiped the tears off her face, "Be well ma'm. Be well and always shine bright. Seeing you like this, gives me hope for my daughter."

Eilin nodded and wiped her sleeve over her tearstained face, "I'll try…" -then she turned at Lis that was sniffling- "Little one we will both try, alright?"

Lis looked up and a slow sad smile of hope appeared on her lips as she nodded eagerly.

"Under him, nothing is a lost cause," she whispered and clasped Loa's hands firmly, "he and his sister saved my life also. Rekindle the hope in your heart my dear, for the lords that rule this land shall bring balance. They will unite our race, they will stop the bickering, they will make our race strong again. We will prosper, we will multiply, we will become blessedly unweary!"

For the first time she felt the need to call the dwarven race, her own and she meant it with such fervour that fresh tears sprang from her eyes. Wasn't this race part of her blood perchance? Wasn't she proud to be a dwarrowdam at that moment? So proud that she didn't even acknowledge the other half of her blood. The part that treated her with such disrespect and ridicule for so many years. At that moment she decided that she was going to claim her dwarven heritage more fiercely than ever before. She was proud to carry this blood in her, no matter that she didn't know who her father was. For the first time in her life, instead of feeling embarrassed about her half blood and unknown heritage, she felt fulfilled to belong to the Longbeards of Erebor.

Loa nodded, "Yes ma'm" and Eilin smiled brightly at her.

* * *

A little way off Thorin stopped his horse and observed the fighting soldiers with mild interest. Dwalin came over to him looking dejected, "I am sorry about what happened with Balin."

"He didn't tell me anything more than the truth, nay a little bit too passionately when it came down to some private matters," Thorin raised his brow, "I cannot deny that his words hit me hard. I am still on bad terms with him."

Dwalin lowered his eyes and approached the horse. He leaned his elbow on it's neck, "What Balin said about Eilin was despicable. I won't give him any excuses."

"He is looking at all this in cold blood. I am not. Let us lay this to rest, because it angers me," Thorin shook his head.

"Alright, so what are these?" Dwalin pulled back and looked at the horses.

"Horses," Thorin's lips turned into a sly smile.

"Don't be a wiseass. If Balin realises that you stopped that grim conversation in order to go get horses, he's going to be on you like a screeching banshee," Dwalin raised his brow and crossed his arms.

"Then don't tell him," Thorin said and untied one of the horses.

"Where did you get them uncle?" Fili came around and caressed the beautiful palomino horse that was still tied to Thorin's saddle.

"Dale," he said and threw the reins at Dwalin who caught them mid air.

"What is this?" His best friend said and approached the chestnut angry looking beauty that was handed to him.

"Your gift, you axe-breaking goblin," Thorin grinned smugly.

Dwalin looked up confused, "my what?"

"Happy birthday, you corroded fossil," he chuckled.

Dwalin's face opened up in an honest smile, "what in the name of Mordor?!"

"You've been drilling holes into my ears about those damn ponies for ages. Hope you are satisfied now," Thorin leaned his forearm on his saddle and looked searchingly at Dwalin's eyes.

"You are so lucky!" Fili smiled widely.

"I wouldn't mind one of those," Dain crossed his arms, but when he saw two of his soldiers messing around with each other too hard he took out his axe and threw it between them, breaking them apart, "keep it down back there!" He grumbled at them and they quivered in their boots.

"I won't thank you," Dwalin's eyes narrowed on him, but his face was the happiest Thorin had seen in a long while.

"I don't want you to thank me," he rejoined.

"I will get you so drunk you won't be able to walk straight though!" Dwalin thundered at him and then laughed heartily.

Thorin smiled, "I can't wait. Now tell me, where is my maiden?"

Dwalin sobered up quickly and threw his guarded gaze on Dain and Fili that had turned their attention on the struggling soldiers, "over by the gates. Choosing the best meat from the hunt," he pointed.

Thorin looked up and nodded. "Talk to you later," he said and put his horse into a trot.

The moment he arrived at the families that were gathered around the hunt, he didn't notice how many dames leaned close to each other in order to whisper behind their hands. His eyes were solely for the one that was hiding all her breathtaking beauty under that furry hood. People stepped aside, making way for him to pass, before they closed the circle behind him, wanting, needing to know what the King was doing here, amongst them.

When his horse stopped next to Eilin a fresh wave of whispers arose that Thorin didn't hear.

"Good evening," he said quietly.

She felt her body shuddering and raised her pretty green eyes to him, "my Lord," she said and bowed in respect. Loa and Lis did the same.

"How are you Loa?" He turned at the widow.

"Relatively well my Lord, thank you for asking," she said respectfully.

"You Lis?" He smiled at the little girl.

"I am fine! Oh, Oh…uhm I learned about boars and bravery and good Kings today sir!" The girl said eagerly.

He tilted his head majestically, "you certainly learned more than me."

Lis clapped her hands gleefully, but when Loa clasped them she stopped and cringed knowing that she shouldn't have spoken so openly.

Thorin turned his attention on Eilin and untied the tall palomino beauty. "Her name is Yrsa," he threw the reins at Eilin who caught them bewildered.

"Yrsa?" She looked at him confused.

"You need to take good care of her from now on," he offered her a calm lopsided smile.

"I do?" Eilin frowned still unable to understand what was going on.

"She's yours," he pursed his lips and backed up his horse. The circle behind him opened up.

Eilin's eyes grew wide in sudden realisation, "what?" She whispered.

"Have you finished with your work?" He tilted his head at the hunt.

Eilin looked around her confused, "Uhm…not yet."

Loa smiled and pushed her away, "She's done my lord. She's told me what to take care off."

Thorin looked at her for a few thoughtful moments before leaning over and beckoning her close.

She approached holding the reins tightly in her small hands.

"There is an enchanted lake that waits for us. Will you ride alongside of me?" He whispered.

She felt her breath catching and the blood run wild in her veins, "Yes!"

He straightened up on his horse and backed it up until he was away from the people. Then he kicked it's flanks and it stood up on its hind legs. He gave her a single precious smile that she longed to imprison with her lips, before dashing down the road like the wind.

She felt such freedom even at the thought of getting on this intimidating horse that she didn't notice that everyone was looking at her with searching eyes. The hesitation lingered for a brief moment before she climbed on it with an ease she didn't thought she possessed and dashed quickly after him. The moment Thorin passed from Dwalin and his friends, he took off his heavy coat and let it fall into the snow. Eilin's horse thundered over it as she followed him closely and Dwalin was unable to hold back a battle cry that tore from his chest with adrenaline filled pride.

Thorin and Eilin rode like the wind in Erebor's long road. He was leading if only barely and she was following with a heart that was drumming like crazy. Her facial muscles were almost in pain from the wide grin that was imprinted on them as she kicked the flanks of Yrsa, urging her on, wanting to reach him and why not pass him. Under the heavy snowfall her hood fell off her head and her bun got loose freeing her long heavy mane onto her back.

He turned and looked at her and his heart complained at the unrestricted happiness of her face. She wanted so much to reach out to him even though they were in mid gallop that she kicked Yrsa's flanks pushing her harder. The beautiful horse Thorin purchased proved to be equal to his horse, if not faster. Soon enough Eilin aligned with him and her hand reached out for his reins, but she was unable to get them. She laughed and he reciprocated with a wide smile before reaching out and grabbing her reins with ease. He pulled Yrsa closer and Eilin's hand managed to grab his reins, allowing them to gallop side by side.

"She's amazing!" She cried as the frozen wind whipped her face painfully.

"Push her more, get in front of me!" He nodded towards the road ahead.

"You'll let me win?" She smiled brightly.

"No, you'll try to win me," he said and released her reins.

"Fine!" She gritted her teeth, but her heart flew in the skies as a feeling of euphoria covered every single cell in her body. She pushed Yrsa, who reached Thorin's horse easily and then slowly bypassed him. When she was certain that his horse was unable to get the lead she raised a tight fist in the air. Thorin laughed behind her, not ever thinking to challenge that victory away from her. He was just joyous to see her so free and unhindered of all her previous fears. So far away from the trembling girl in the river side, shaking like a leaf in front of a frightened pony, while trying to communicate her deepest fears to him through a few painful words. As they passed from the burial grounds quickly he didn't turn a single moment to search for Siv's grave. His eyes were solely on Eilin and he felt blessed to see the difference in her blossoming like the prettiest flower in front of his admiring eyes. This woman here was open. Giving and taking equally. She was not afraid to express herself and show him her feelings. He was proud to see all that tremendous change in her and he didn't know if he was the one that caused all this shift, but he didn't want the dark Eilin to return in the stead of this amazing woman riding so fearlessly a thoroughbred horse in front of him.

When a couple of times she turned her head searchingly at him, because she clearly didn't know the way, he pointed at the right direction, but didn't take the lead. Only when they finally entered Mirkwood did he get in front and led them carefully through the deep vegetation and thick trees onto the enchanted lake that she remembered so well.

"Wow, that was breathtaking," she said panting.

He stopped his horse and waited for her as her animal came next to his. Her fingers encircled his forearm and he reciprocated with a gentle smile, "You like her?"

"She's an amazing animal," Eilin said breathlessly.

He looked at her bright red cheeks and at the wild curls surrounding her face and wanted to bury his face in them, "not more amazing than you."

Her fingers tightened on his forearm, "Is this part of the dwarven courting?"

He could see the playfulness in her eyes and his stomach bubbled up, "Most definitely."

"Did you really just gift me with a racing horse?" She snorted and bit her lower lip.

"Yes and from the looks of it I can judge horses better than Thranduil," he noted.

"Did you let me win?" She raised her brows.

"No, the race was honest. Your horse is faster," he winked.

She licked her bottom lip and felt her stomach tightening with anticipation, "You gave it to me in front of all those families and everyone was looking at us. You do know that, right?"

"My eyes were solely for you," he said softly.

She looked down in hesitation, "you know Loa told me there are rumours circulating about us."

He frowned, remembering the conversation with Balin.

Eilin noticed, "people know that there is something going on between us."

He nodded slightly, "I am being told likewise."

She licked her lower lip, "Does that scare you?"

"No, does it scare you?" his eyes seared into hers as doting as ever.

She gave him an uncertain nod, "Yes."

"We will face whatever comes our way, one moment at a time," his deep voice send a soothing wave of reassurance through her stomach.

"By giving me such expensive gifts in front of everyone, we are only feeding these rumours," she met his eyes steadily.

"I don't care Eilin," his brow creased.

"What will happen when everyone turns on us, asking for answers Thorin?" she felt her heart almost palpitating at the thought.

"We will answer. Do you perchance believe I am not being rammed with questions already my sweet?" his eyes became solemn.

She shook her head, "do you have answers for them?"

"Most certainly," a small sweet smile appeared on his lips.

She cringed with uncertainty, "Can I hear them too?"

"When the time comes, you will." His promise lingered as their eyes seared into each other.

"I didn't know Loa's husband died in your arms," she whispered and her eyes fell to his lips.

He pressed them, but remained silent.

"Thank you for taking care of his family. You are such a good man Thorin," she spoke softly.

"Not a good King?" a ghostly smile formed on his mouth, half afraid of her answer.

"I am not looking at the King anymore. Only the man," she doted him with a smile of affection that touched his heart.

He tightened his fingers around her small forearm, "that pleases my heart so much."

"Thank you for today," she reached up and caressed his warrior braid for a moment, before touching his cheek lightly.

"My pleasure and my honour," he pulled her forearm and she leaned closer.

"Thank you for all the days before," she felt her voice flattering as he brought his face closer to hers.

"My pleasure and my honour," he whispered.

"and for all the days that are to come," she muttered as his lips barely touched hers.

"No, thank you," he whispered.

She closed her eyes and her core twisted deliciously around itself in excitement, "about what? I have only given you a flower crown."

"For giving me yourself. The most precious treasure of Erebor," he said softly and his finger came up to caress her cheek.

She opened up her lips, inviting him and when he delved into her warm wetness they both moaned softly. His finger gave way to his hand that cupped her cheek and his thumb drew gentle circles under her earlobe. They abandoned each other into the kiss, forgetting the enchanted lake and the dark forest around them. The frozen snow falling onto their heads and their animals huffing and puffing after the strain of that monumental race. They almost forgot their names, their pasts and their presents, so engulfed they were onto each other. They heard nothing more than their heaving breaths and they felt nothing more than their tongues and lips playfully entangled in a dance of passion. So when a sharp arrow pressed into Thorin's thigh, it took him more than a few moments to register the feeling and pull away from Eilin.

She opened her dazed eyes. "Did you intent to kiss me to oblivion and then make a run for it?"

He frowned, "No."

His serious face alerted her that something was off. She lifted her head and looked around, "Ahhh!" She yelped and cupped her mouth in sudden terror. They were surrounded by several elven warriors. Their arrows were pointed at them and their horses.

"Thorin?" Her voice trembled and she clawed his leather forearm shield.

His hand tightened around her thin arm. "Keep calm," he said quietly.

"What do they want?" She whispered, but the answer came from the elves.

"King Oakenshield, you are expected to follow us to King Thranduil's realm," the tall elf said coldly.

"Apparently," Thorin winced vexed.

"Get off your horse," the elf ordered and nudged him with the pointy end of his arrow.

Eilin yelled. "No, leave him alone!" She made to alight also, but the elf near her pointed the arrow at her waist.

"Keep still my lady."

Thorin turned at her, "play along." She frowned. Something was off on his countenance. His eyes didn't seem as afraid as they should have been. She frowned in confusion, trying to figure him out. Wanting to ask him, but a slow shake of his head told her to keep silent. She inhaled deeply and felt her eyes overflowing with tears. She tried to draw them back and stand by his side bravely as he alighted. She managed a good job for as long as no one was touching him, but the moment she saw elven ropes tying his arms behind his back she felt her chest exploding in fear.

"No no no," she chanted quietly behind her palm.

"Follow me," the leader said and one elf took hold of Eilin's reins leading her animal in front of Thorin that followed on foot, with two arrows pointed at his back. Another elf was leading his horse at their rear. Eilin turned and looked at him above her shoulder. Their eyes met. She expected to see anger, fear, annoyance, darkness in them. Something eerie that would be completely justified in the disadvantageous position they had found themselves in.

She saw nothing of the sort. Only a slight gleam of playfulness that was followed by a lopsided smile on his handsome lips.


	35. Acts of good will

The walk through the dark forest of Mirkwood was endlessly long. The air felt heavy and Eilin's fragile consciousness was faltering. All she could see was dried branches entwined to create a wooden web that dimmed the already faded sunlight of those heavy winter days. Trees were coming from every direction, even crisscrossing in the middle of the barely discernible path under their feet and the eerie quietness almost pained her ears. It was as if the thickness of the air was muting every sound. She didn't know if it was the magic of the forest that Thorin had spoken so much about, but it was disorienting her, confusing her senses. After a while she didn't know the way back to the enchanted lake even though the path they were on never diverged. She couldn't tell if they were going north or south or even were Erebor was approximately. She winced and inhaled deeply trying to clear the fog out of her brain.She got transfixed into the entwined secret path and a shade of fear run down her back. She felt a certainty that if the elves abandoned her and Thorin here, they'd die before they could find their way out. On that thought she turned around for the umpteenth time to check on him. He was following on foot, looking far less troubled than her.

"Are you alright?" her voice drew abnormally, as if the air itself was pulling it apart.

He looked up at her and smiled instantly. Apparently this forest didn't have the same effect on him. "I am, but you don't look so well," he said concerned.

"This forest feels heavy almost suffocating" -she shook her head- "it is also so warm, as if the cold is not passing through the thick canopy," she looked up to see any sign of the sky, but failed.

"Elven magic" -he turned to his captors- "can we hurry up with this menagerie? The magic of your boss is falling heavy on her." This was the first time since they were captured she heard his voice becoming seriously authoritative.

"That is why she was allowed to remain on her horse. She will be taken care off, worry not." The elf who was leading her animal replied without turning to him.

"I'll be alright," she forced a smile that made her lips feel numb.

Thorin looked at her uneasily while the elf that led him by the rope around his wrists pulled him to attention. Another forced smile was send back in order to reassure him and then she settled down again, more from the fear that she was going to soon faint. She didn't recollect how much longer they kept walking quietly through the deep foliage with her counting her breaths, but when her horse passed under a green archway that led them out into a deep ravine, she inhaled deeply and felt as if someone had just pulled her from underwater. She looked up and saw the clouds, felt the snow falling to her burning brow and shuddered with pleasure. She heard the angry flow of the forest river and saw the gates of Thranduil's halls awaiting for them, just over a stone viaduct that looked like dwarven architecture. It was as if nature suddenly came alive around them. She raised her hands and spread the soothing cold snow on her burning brow. The elves led them above the viaduct and upon reaching the gates of the elven realm she felt almost normal. The spell that this forest was under was certainly disorienting, possibly created so that no one could find the entrance to the elven halls. The gates looked like they were made out of tree roots intricately entwined. They were led inside what looked like a wide cavern that led to a long hallway, made out of stone and tree roots. The elves continued their route until they came upon a junction of three walkways that were hovering above the ground. The elf that was holding her horse turned to her, "you have to dismount."

She alighted and immediately walked back to join Thorin, but an arrow was instantly pointed at her face. She yelped and froze still.

Thorin jerked so hard against his restraints that the rope broke around his wrists. No one saw what he did, or how quickly, but the elf pointing the arrow at Eilin, found himself on a rear naked choke. He gasped for air as the natural paleness of his face was instantly swapped with a blue hue caused by Thorin's suffocating deadlock. Every arrow available turned on him, but his voice echoed fearless in Thranduil's halls nonetheless, "no one points an arrow at her."

She cried and cupped her mouth, "Thorin no!"

Thorin's muscular forearm tightened and the elf coughed and spat trying to to free himself out of that deadly grip unsuccessfully.

"Let him go," one of the elves commanded Thorin.

His eyes turned coldly at the one who addressed him, "no one points an arrow at her, is that clear?" The elf that knelt in front of him sounded and looked on the verge of passing out. The gurgling noises he was making were enough to raise Eilin's hair.

"Thorin he didn't do anything stop! They are going to kill you!" She cried and tried to approach him, but an elf stopped her this time by his hand.

"Let Halfar go. Your dame shall not be harmed," the elf said quietly.

"please don't hurt him, please …please," she whispered breathless.

Thorin was looking around him with cold calculation. This was the first time she was seeing him in a confrontation of any kind and she was shaken by how fast his reactions had been, but above all at the absence of fear when he was threatened by instant death.

She almost fell down to her knees, "please Thorin, let him go... please!"

His eyes turned to her and instantly lost the dark cloud that had covered them in the heat of the moment when his body and brain became battle worthy, "Are you alright?" the deepness of his voice was the only part of him that betrayed he was on edge.

She nodded eagerly. "Yes yes, please let him go before they harm you."

Thorin hesitated for a few tense moments, but under Eilin's solid reassurance he relaxed his grip on the elf and drew back. His opponent fell to the ground panting for breath. Two of his comrades lifted him up and led him away quickly.

"Are we all alright now? Will this craziness stop?!" Eilin looked around at everybody that seemed trigger happy.

Thorin crossed his arms and looked around haughtily. The elf that took the lead after Thorin rendered Halfar powerless nodded. "The lady shall be escorted to the upper halls. The dwarf lord to the cells."

Just as they were all slowly settling down, this fired one of them up again. The most improbable of them all. Eilin felt her brows creasing and her heart filling with anger. "What? What do you mean the cells? Are you taking him prisoner?"

An elf approached Thorin carrying some heavy chains. He pointed at his hands. "You will follow without resistance, dwarf lord, right?"

"If she is not harmed, yes," Thorin replied calmly and offered his wrists once more. They twisted the chains around him a couple of times just to be on the safe side.

Eilin threw herself upon the elf that stood in her way and tried to grab Thorin. "No! I am not going anywhere without him! Take me down to the cells with him!"

"He is our prisoner. You are our guest. These are our orders my lady," the leader said coldly.

Thorin winced as they fastened the chain around his broad wrists. "Eilin listen to him. Follow them and I will be fine."

She tried to bypass the tall elf who kept her in place with great ease. "I am not leaving you Thorin, do you hear me? Stop this nonsense all of you! We didn't do anything. Whom did we bother? Why did you capture us?"

"The enchanted lake is for the enjoyment of the elves only my lady. Outsiders that dare a trip there, shall be arrested by orders of our King."

She felt her body deflating. "Is this about that damned lake? Let us go and we promise we won't come back ever again. Right Thorin?" She searched his eyes for support.

He offered her a fleeting smile. "Eilin it's a bit more complicated than that."

"They said it's because of the lake, what do you mean saying that it's more complicated? Tell them we won't do it again. Tell them and they will let us go. Please Thorin," she looked at him beseechingly.

"Be a brave girl and follow the captain. Trust me to be okay. I have been through this several times in my life," this time his smirk was so reassuring it gave her pause.

She pulled back from the elf. "Why aren't you doing something to reassure them that this will never happen again? They will let us go then, won't you?" she looked up at the elf.

He raised a brow, but remained silent.

Her eyes returned keenly observant on Thorin, "You want us to be imprisoned? Help us, dispel their doubts for us, please!" She simply couldn't figure out what he was doing.

The fleeting shadow of craftiness in his eyes didn't go undetected by her. "Don't worry Eilin. You are not their prisoner. As for me...no elven prison is strong enough to hold me in it," he sounded mischievous.

The elves around him tensed and she frowned confused.

"Right gentlemen?" He looked up at them scornfully.

No one answered, but the leader addressed to Eilin, "this way my lady."

She put her feet down angrily and crossed her arms. "I am not going anywhere. Take me to the cells with him. I don't want to be your guest, I want to be your prisoner."

"Men gehyith" -Thorin's voice softened- "do this as a favour for me. Go with them."

Her eyes welled with tears and she felt her voice breaking, "I don't want to let you go."

"Go with them, I will see you soon," he tilted his head quietly trying to put her mind at rest.

She looked at the offered route and hesitated.

The elf holding Thorin's chains pulled him to the other walkway without waiting for them to resolve this through persuasion.

Eilin tried to bypass the elf again, but was restrained, "Thorin no!" She cried as fear gripped her stomach and twisted it painfully. He gave her a smile above his shoulder and the slyness she saw in it, confused her even more. Shouldn't he be as afraid as she was? As desperate to remain with her? Wasn't he worried to be led in prison? Logic told her that this was Thorin Oakenshield, a legendary dwarven warrior that was two hundred years old and had seen more battles than she has seen winters. His attitude had been perfectly controlled, If she excluded the moment were he almost choked to death an elf twice his size with an ease that gave her pause. "Release me! I have to be with him!" She cried at the elf that was holding her back.

"You will follow Rýngwen my lady," he said patiently.

Eilin looked behind to see a she-elf smiling down at her. "Good evening," she spoke with a melodic voice.

Eilin shook her head, "I am not coming with you."

"Please, follow me" -Rýngwen offered her hand- "your dwarf lord is going to be alright."

Eilin denied ardently. "No! How can he be alright? He's been led to prison."

"Your abode has been prepared by orders of the King my lady. Within these halls no prisoner gets harmed unless they are orcs. We are not out to harm you," Rýngwen smiled reassuringly.

Eilin rubbed her shoulders and looked at the tall warrior elf that raised his brow haughtily down at her and then left them. They remained alone upon a large tree root that looked wide enough to sustain any dwarven carriage. No one was around to stop her from running after Thorin. She looked wishfully at the corridor they led him through. Rýngwen apparently read her thoughts, "there is no need to follow him now. Come with me please. You must be weary from all this misadventure."

Eilin inhaled deeply. "I am afraid for him."

"No harm shall come to him," Rýngwen offered her hand once more, "come."

Eilin looked at the elegant hand and then at the twisting walkway he took. She remembered his plead to trust him, to play along. She had been caught up in a world she had never seen before up close and personal and she was terrified by everything around her, but his eyes had been calm. Almost too calculative and at times mischievous. This is a world he knew a lot about. A world he had provoked as a youth and had challenged as an adult. A world he didn't seem to fear. So maybe she should trust in his judgment and play along. At least until she could understand better what was going on. She looked at the silver headed beauty that still had her hand extended and gave her a very timid nod.

* * *

It was almost nightfall when Thorin was taken out of the innermost cells and got led to Thranduil's throne room. He had been expecting to be kept down there far longer. A tactic Thranduil always used to break the bravado of his prisoners, but apparently he had been mistaken. When he entered the wide hall he noticed that only he, the King and the elf that led him, were there.

Thorin stopped in front of Thranduil with an air of loftiness that rubbed the high elf the wrong way. "Chains? really?" He raised his hands and his brow.

"Well, you almost choked Halfar," Thranduil drummed his fingers on the arm of his throne and looked down at him haughtily.

"Well, he almost poked Eilin's eye out with that arrow," Thorin raised his brow and shifted on his leg.

Thranduil smiled stonily, "she was not going to be harmed and you know it."

"I don't trust elves," Thorin retorted sullenly.

Thranduil inhaled deeply and pursed his lips, "I told Gandalf to warn you about the enchanted lake."

"He did."

"Then you chose to overlook my warning," Thranduil looked mildly impressed.

"Of course. Why should I change a conditioning of years," Thorin flicked his shoulder.

"As rebellious as ever. Look where that landed you. In chains." Thranduil raised his brow.

"Do I look bothered?" Thorin rejoined flatly.

"Not at all. Actually you look as if you had planned this all the way through," Thranduil said and stood up.

Thorin noticed the Black Blade resting on Thranduil's thigh and then drew his eyes back up to him with clear boredom, "what a ridiculous suggestion."

"Is it?" The elven King walked down the steps of his elaborate throne and came close to him.

"Why would I want to be imprisoned in this dump? I've got halls several hundred times this size to rule" -Thorin's lip turned in a sly smile- "in two separate mountains and my people will be looking for me."

Thranduil's composure failed at that sentence, "that dwarven arrogance…"

"Angers you?" Thorin pushed.

Thranduil's jawline flexed, "could be possibly what will make the alliance between us impossible."

"That didn't sound so certain," Thorin looked up at him calmly.

Thranduil inhaled and signalled one of his guards that approached and gave him a rather heavy looking velvet pouch. Thorin looked at it indifferently, "this battle and the way our races fought for each other should make both of us uncertain, don't you think?"

Thorin twisted his lips testily, "first valid point since you opened your mouth."

Thranduil tilted his head majestically and showed him the pouch, "this has been confiscated from the saddle satchel of your horse."

"I have never seen it before," Thorin frowned confused.

"Do many people have access to your horse then?" Thranduil asked and opened up the pouch. Obviously he was not expecting to see these kind of contents, because he took a step back and his countenance flattered. A small gasp escaped his lips and his eyes sparkled with a long forgotten fire. His stony face lines broke for the first time in centuries. He looked down at Thorin with eyes that thundered in silence. Whatever was in that pouch had shaken the elven King to his core.

"No one that I know off," Thorin remained impassive.

"Do you know what is in here?" Thranduil spoke in a hushed tone.

"No clue," Thorin pressed his lips casually.

"Shall I tell you?"

Thorin flicked his shoulders, "go ahead."

"The White Gems," Thranduil's self-certainty wavered once more even at the name of the long coveted gems of his wife. His long fingers twitched possessively around them. It looked as if he was trying to grasp his wife's hand.

Thorin's eyes brightened with the dawn of recognition. "Oh well, that's definitely a surprise."

"Did you do this?" Thranduil's gaze betrayed an honest need to know the truth. At that moment he dropped all pretence in front of the beloved gems of his dead wife.

"The Mountain King would have never done such a folly," Thorin's voice turned deep and authoritative.

Thranduil tilted his head trying to figure this dwarf lord out, "someone betrayed you then? An act of treason." He was honestly confused.

"This was probably the work of some unprocessed dwarf, who wished to take matters into his own hands. Cut the middlemen out so to say," Thorin added unruffled.

Thranduil's brow rose in slow understanding. "Like someone who was well known for his fierce nature since childhood and always bothered my realm with stupid endeavours?"

Thorin humphed, "Possibly."

"I know of a dwarf that fits that description. He stole my horse and half my army went after him and came back empty handed. Could we be talking about the same dwarf here?" the elven King's voice sounded slightly amused. Holding the precious gems of his wife in his hands was enough to twist his unbending nature around. To show a much softer side of him that rarely did anyone saw.

Thorin smiled smugly. "Most probably."

Thranduil's lips broke into a knowing smile. "I am certain you shall punish this unprocessed dwarf when you return to your halls, King Oakenshield."

"Heavy punishments await for him," he said haughtily.

Thranduil pulled back and looked at the pouch in his hand with deep affection. "You know the gems shall not return back to Erebor, correct?"

"Had no such hopes," Thorin tilted his head calmly.

"You've just lost your firm grip on the negotiation for the King's gem," Thranduil raised his brow.

Thorin pressed his lips. "Did I? That's very sad for me."

Thranduil looked at him long and hard before his lip upturned into a careful smile, "you seem rather unfazed for someone whose rule depends from the Arkenstone."

"A rule that's dependent from a gem can never be solid," Thorin said calmly.

"Those are wise words," Thranduil admitted.

Thorin tilted his head loftily.

Thranduil called his soldier. He spoke a few words into his ear and the elf removed the chains from Thorin's wrists.

Thorin crossed his arms and kept his heavy gaze on Thranduil. "No more prison for me today?"

"Our races fought for each other against the troops of darkness as if we were brothers. I cannot overlook that," Thranduil said with a newfound kindness in his eyes.

"Letting me go?" Thorin pressed his lips.

"You are free to leave, unless you wish to remain for the night along with your dame," Thranduil's fingers caressed the velvet pouch and Thorin's eyes fell on that.

"What for?" Thorin frowned.

"My home can offer good wine, food and company with people it considers friends," Thranduil spoke elegantly and closed his eyes for a brief moment.

"Friends? Aren't we taking this a step too far?" Thorin's lips turned into an eloquent smile.

"It is an offer you can decline. I will allow you to leave with your dame anytime if you so wish."

"It is a tempting offer for sure," Thorin tilted his head courteously.

"From a King to a King, it would please me if you remained with us for the night. There are things that we need to discuss. Don't you agree?" the elven King offered.

"Very well," Thorin's face brightened with a lopsided smile of understanding.

* * *

Eilin sat at the edge of her beautiful bed, that was made out of elegantly carved wood. The airy windows that overlooked the tall caverns of the upper halls were open, but it was still stifling warm in there. Her eyes turned towards that windows many times as she heard a lot of commotion taking place somewhere down there. She stood up to check what was happening. Apparently in one of the wide open feast areas there was a lot of activity. She returned to her bed, overlooking the airy green knee high dress that the she-elf had brought for her to wear.

She explained patiently to Eilin that soon she'd be feel uncomfortably warm in her heavy dwarven attire, but the loyal maiden stood her ground. She refused to change her clothes and also refused food and water unless someone led her to Thorin. She wanted to know that he was alright. The she-elf reassured her that all was well, but Eilin was not convinced. On the contrary the more time rolled by, the more she was becoming persuaded that something dreadful happened to him and they were not telling her. When the she-elf left her alone, Eilin began an anxious pacing in her rooms. She went to the door expecting to find it locked. Instead it opened immediately and she found herself peaking out into the long corridor that was alit by beautiful lamps that were hanging by the rock of the cavern. No one was in sight. They hadn't placed any sentinels on her. Where was she to go even if she left her room? It wasn't as if she knew how to reach the cellars and search for him. Surely someone would find her before she even reached the end of this damned corridor and lead her back.

That thought didn't stop the dwarven blood in her from rebelling against the rules and she tiptoed out of her room in the hopes of finding her way to him. As expected it wasn't long until an elf found her and politely escorted her back to her rooms. When she said that she wasn't a prisoner and therefore free to roam the halls, the elf agreed but told her that she needed a guide lest she got lost.

She collapsed onto her bed disappointed at her meagre attempt at an escape and remained there looking at her crossed hands. Her heart was beating erratically as her mind created images of Thorin trapped in a wet, dirty and dark cell under her feet somewhere. When the door knocked she answered almost breathless. She'd give her life for any news from him. From anyone. It was Rýngwen that came in and sat next to her. They had informed her that Eilin needed a guide to escort her around Thranduil's halls. Eilin honestly said that she only wanted to find the cells and see Thorin. Rýngwen smiled at that and reassured Eilin that the Dwarven King was not in any cell, but at a meeting with the Elven King. Eilin's eyes brightened with the first honest smile. She grasped Rýngwen's hand asking for the information to be repeated in desperate need for reassurance.

Rýngwen told her that she should really change her clothes and use the adjoining room to take a bath. Eilin refused once again. Rýngwen offered food and water. Eilin shook her head in denial and admitted that she was comforted by the knowledge that Thorin was not imprisoned, but unless she was escorted to him, she wouldn't eat, she wouldn't drink and she wouldn't take any baths or change clothes. She sat there crossing her hands stubbornly as Rýngwen bowed and left.

Then it was just her counting moments to the end of the day backwards. Standing up and pacing. Counting her fingers and mumbling curses under her breath. Thinking that the elf lied to her about Thorin and that he was somewhere down there suffering. Afterwards she remembered how calm he had looked when they parted, knowing that she should trust in the judgment of a man that has commanded, ruled and fought more than she had lived. Maybe he wasn't the white bearded, ancient looking dwarf with the benevolent eyes, the image she had created out of Rhiannon's stories, but that didn't mean he didn't own immense wisdom inside that handsome head of his. What did she know about elves and their relationships with dwarves apart from what common folk knew? What did she know especially about the relationship between the elves of Mirkwood and the dwarves of Erebor?

She went back and forth in front of her bed, in front of her window, in front of the bathroom door and then she realised this place didn't have a fireplace, but she was sweating profusely. She looked around for any source of heat, but found none yet she was burning up. Apparently Rýngwen had been right. The magic of the Elven King was heating up this place and her constant back and forth was causing her skin to itch. In the end she gave up. She took off her overcoat, her vest and her tunic without any seconds thoughts. Eilin tore them off her skin. She continued her worried pacing, but still the sweat was sipping through the fabric of her under tunic. Frustrated she sat on the bed and kicked off her fur boots. Then she was just down to her leather pants and her under tunic and taking those off meant standing in that room naked.

Suddenly she wanted not only to take a bath, but she wanted to do it under frozen water and possibly drink half of it in the process. The problem was that she didn't know how to call Rýngwen again. So she gave up and went to the balcony hoping that a small wisp of air would cool her burning brow. There she found herself unwillingly drawn in by the intense activity in the feasting area. They seemed to be preparing for some kind of dinner. Arranging plates and utensils around a large round table. Placing new lanterns from the overhanging branches and ornamenting them with silver threads that sparkled. She stood there looking down at them for a long time, slowly cooling down the heat in her. When finally the light of the sun was almost gone the magic of the place under her window made her jaw drop open and she became absolutely bewitched. If the enchanted lake had been astonishing, then what she was witnessing now was simply stunning. All the small lanterns hanging by long silver ropes from the top of the cavern looked like stars in a dark sky. Smaller lamps brightened up the twisting walkways and quiet abodes with a warm light that soothed her mind. Groups of birds, butterflies and other insects flew back and forth all over the cavern, under the soft lights. One landed on the banister of her balcony and she smiled down at it enthralled. She wondered if there were any fireflies here also, like at the enchanted lake. She had almost forgotten all her troubles, when the door knocked again and she turned around with a sharp gasp, "Come in!"

And give me some good news…her mind added.

Rýngwen entered holding a tray with a silver urn and glass. "Some water for you my lady?"

Eilin ran so fast to get it that she tripped on her boots and caught herself on the post of her bed.

"Are you alright?" Rýngwen asked worried and placed the tray on a desk.

Eilin filled the glass and drank it in one go. "Yes, thirsty," she mumbled and filled up a second. Then a third and a fourth. When her thirst had been satiated she exhaled in relief and looked up at Rýngwen, "why does your King make this place so warm? It's unnatural, all of it!"

"Elves are not susceptible to extreme temperatures. This doesn't bother us, but the King wishes to make the creatures that abode his halls feel comfortable against the frozen wind of the northern mountains," Rýngwen explained.

"Well, it might feel good to butterflies and bugs, but it's killing me," Eilin said and aired her face that had began sweating again.

"Your clothing is too heavy. That is why I brought you this dress. Maybe you should reconsider taking a bath and changing?" Rýngwen smiled.

"Nope. I will boil to death and your mighty King can have it on his conscience. I am not moving from this spot unless I have some news of Thorin," she sat down stubbornly and crossed her arms. Her sweat was running in steady rivulets at the side of her face.

Rýngwen smiled and crossed her palms calmly in front of her thighs, "That is what I was sent here to tell you. You are invited by King Thranduil in tonight's feast that is being held for King Thorin."

Eilin looked up shocked. "The feast down there is for Thorin?" She whispered.

"And for you my lady," Rýngwen bowed respectfully.

Eilin's relief was followed quickly by joy and then by tears that came unbidden and streamed down her cheeks. "He is well then?"

"King Thorin was never harmed in any manner my lady," Rýngwen bowed again.

"Alight, alright, I can breathe again…" she wiped her cheeks dry.

"Do you need any assistance to take a bath and change?" Rýngwen offered.

Eilin looked at the green dress suddenly bewildered. She knew where the hands went, but the strings that tied on her back looked way too long and way too complicated. She looked up at Rýngwen, "don't you have something...uhm easier... for me to wear?"

"That is an official elven gown," Rýngwen smiled.

Eilin hesitated briefly, "I will need assistance to get in it, and out of it also," she said in an afterthought.

Rýngwen nodded, "I will remain here to assist you with it. Shall I prepare the bath for you?"

Eilin felt her cheeks blushing at the thought of Thorin touching her in this dirty and sweaty state. She nodded enthusiastically. Even the thought of cold water rinsing away all that itchy sweat was comforting. "Yes, of course."

She went into the bathroom to find a tub that resembled a flower and Rýngwen brought in bucket after bucket of tepid water for her to bathe in. When she finished and dried up, Rýngwen helped her into some underwear that seemed way too small for her liking and then into the complicated dress. It fell a little under her knees and left most of her back uncovered expect from the strings that Rýngwen twisted in front of her torso and waist and then tied them behind. She was offered a pair of boots of very light fabric and when Rýngwen offered to help her with her hair, Eilin didn't deny. The elf braided two long strands from her temples and clasped them to the back of her head.

She thanked Rýngwen and then followed her silently to the feasting area. Hoping that Thorin wouldn't judge her dress as too revealing, because as sure as hell that is what it felt like. The breeze around her knees and thighs may have felt like heaven, but she didn't think the Mountain King would approve of his dame appearing in this manner in front of all these people. The thought of seeing him though soon erased all doubt about her airy dress. The moment they arrived at the feasting area she dropped her eyes to the floor and looked only at her crossed hands in front of her thighs and at her boots. She felt too exposed and too sheepish.

Rýngwen drew a chair for her, "here my lady."

Eilin looked up to thank her and her eyes caught his across the table instantly. The wave of relief brought tears to them when she saw that he was not only well, but sitting rather comfortably next to the Elven King. When his azure eyes fell on her, captivated beyond reason, her heart halted before exploding to an erratic pace. She had to bite the inside of her lip to stop her cheeks from blushing crimson red. She failed. Eilin lowered her eyes to the utensils in front of her and tried not to feel every single inch of her body thrilled from the potency of his stare.

"Wood and stone," Thranduil raised his cup and smiled at Thorin who was looking bewitched at the breathtaking beauty that had just arrived at their table. His eyes rolled down her figure and he felt at a loss for words, or maybe at a loss for breath would be more accurate.

"the what?" He shook his head and tore his eyes away from Eilin with difficulty.

"Wood and stone," Thranduil repeated apparently amused, "the basis of our architecture is the same."

Thorin tried to clear his head that fogged up with thoughts about what he wanted to do to that dainty dress that Eilin wore later on. He would have felt insulted towards the elves for dressing up his dame in this manner, hasn't he seen all the she-elves on the table wearing similar dresses. Point was he was not interested in them and so their gowns meant nothing to him, until she appeared and grabbed his attention by the hair. He cleared his suddenly clogged throat, "dwarven architecture is more intricate, detailed and sturdy."

Thranduil raised his brow, "I cannot deny that. Those are the reasons we traded with your kin in the past. Dwarven craftsmanship is unsurpassed in many areas. How about our viaduct? I am sure you recognised it as the work of your kin. It was done per request when our relationships still held strong."

"Think we should make a try to rekindle those relationships?" Thorin tasted his wine.

Thranduil smiled, "I'd like to see that as a possibility, especially after the latest developments."

"I am not as convinced yet." Thorin said heavily.

Thranduil sighed and his lips pursed as he looked at his glass thoughtfully. "You are overburdened by the past King Oakenshield? You need to remember that if we are to vow allegiance to each other we have to erase the past." That was the first time he was addressing Thorin with a clear honest voice, bereft of side meanings and theatrics.

Thorin looked at him acutely, "we are unevenly balanced upon that."

"Meaning?"

"It was not me that doubled crossed you with the gems of Lasgalen, whilst you were the one that turned his back to the suffering of my kin," Thorin looked at him sternly.

Thranduil held his weighty gaze for several moments were neither relented, "I wanted to protect my people. Wouldn't you have done the same?"

"No," Thorin shook his head with certainty, "our people were close then. We worked for each other, traded, held friendships. I wouldn't have betrayed you in this manner and don't backtrack on what my grandfather did to you with the gems. He was an sick man that suffered greatly and knew no better. I am not him…yet you are …you. How can I be certain you won't betray my kin again if I swear my allegiance to you?"

"Our people fought alongside each other. We bled together in this recent war," Thranduil retorted.

"You had no choice. You were caught in the middle" -Thorin raised his brow at him and leaned over- "let's be honest here. If your troops were not in the valley in front of my stronghold, but up in Dale, would you have joined this war or would you have retreated like in the past? Wanting to protect your people?"

Thranduil didn't answer, but his eyes thinned on Thorin.

"I can understand your need to place the well being of your kin in front of everything else. That is my concern also. My people! But I wouldn't be able to live knowing that someone was asking for help and I was turning my back at them," Thorin continued relentless.

Thranduil remained tensely silent.

"You see I am mortal. I have not the wisdom of thousands of years in my head, nor the dispassion that would bring over a soul. You know more, but I feel more. Can I trust you not to betray me when I call for your help again?" Thorin whispered close to Thranduil's face.

"As a King to a King," Thranduil began but Thorin spoke over him.

"Let those fancy words fly when others are listening. This is between us. I brought you the gems as an act of goodwill. Now the ball is in your court. Show me I can trust you. Not with words, but with actions. As for the defences of the north and Gandalf's concerns, If I feel secure enough with your reassurances, then I will vow the allegiance of Erebor to the elves of Mirkwood. I will open up all the roads for trades, military operations and even friendships, when you prove your good will to me," he said calmly and leaned back to his chair majestically.

Thranduil leaned back and raised his brow to his gathering. He tasted his wine and nodded vaguely, "very well."

"This is Orcrist my lord, isn't it?" An elf sitting by his side said when he found the opportunity now that the two Kings had drawn back from each other. "A gruesome story it tells, by Kings it has been wielded. Ecthelion, one of the best elven warriors had killed thousands Orcs with it, which is why the Orcs of the Misty Mountains fear it so."

"An honourable sword indeed," Thorin said with a gracious smile.

"Nagol e-lyg," the elf raised his glass at them.

Thorin nodded knowingly, "tooth of snake."

"Tooth of dragon," Thranduil corrected and Thorin's eyes fell heavy on him.

"Seeing the heir to Durin's throne wielding an elven weapon of such immense history, a part of Gondolin, is putting a smile of content on my face," the elf said pleased.

"It is the best sword I have handled and it is an honour to have it" -Thorin tilted his head imposingly- "but I see an elf lord handling a dwarven blade in this table also."

Thranduil pursed his lips and gave an imperceptible nod. He unseated the black blade and placed it upon the table like Thorin had done. Their swords stood side by side, "I must confess that this is one of the best blades I have laid my hands on. Notwithstanding the unsurpassable elven craftsmanship of swords, the master who crafted this presented the dwarven skill with the brightest colours. It surpasses the skills of my kin, but for a few masters of the first age, which must not be touched by any us." The elven King offered him an all knowing look.

"Thank you," Thorin said gracefully.

"Our King handling a dwarven blade and the Mountain King handling an elven one. If that is not the first step to a renewed friendship between our races I don't know what would be," another elf said and raised his glass as a toast.

"Acts of good will perhaps," Thorin's lips broke into a clever side smile.

Thranduil smiled also, "one cannot deny that the new rulership of Erebor is playing a dangerous, yet highly skilful game."

Thorin raised his brow and his glass, "it is done so for the good of our people."

"for the good of our people," Thranduil raised his glass and they drank.

Thorin allowed his eyes to drift towards Eilin that was eating and discussing timidly with the she-elves who sat at her flanks. She looked so out of place that he couldn't but adore her even more for that embarrassment. It was obvious in her every move. She was trying the best she could to not draw attention upon herself, yet she had the attention of many as always. Without even understanding how interesting she was, she brightened up their faces with some comment about the food, the butterflies that shared their dinner or by trying to understand how this elven architecture was allowing minimum light from the sky above to pass through, even though it was night outside.

"Since you are here I'd be thankful if you addressed some of my most recent concerns." Thranduil's voice drew his attention away from Eilin again.

"I am listening," Thorin nodded.

"The large immigration flows that are coming in Erebor from the north."

Thorin raised his brow at him. "How's that your concern? They are not flogging Mirkwood."

"Any kind of instability in the north is my concern as it should be yours. We can work together through this." Thranduil looked at him crisply.

Thorin pursed his lips and tasted his wine.

"What is going on up there?" Thranduil insisted.

"Darkness is," Thorin's voice fell.

Thranduil's eyes clouded.

"It is not coming only from the north, but also from the south. Your realm and my stronghold are caught right in the middle, with Dol Guldur at our flanks brimming with evil. Orcs are ransacking Ered Mithrin and the mountain ranges of north and south Ithilien. Killing my people, maiming women and children" -his neck crawled with anger and it came out in the low rumble of his voice- "The darkness that's spread in the south behind the Ash Mountains is trying to take over the top ranges of Ered Mithrin. That leaves a gaping hole to be filled. Which place suits them better as a strong foothold between north and south do you think?"

"Dol Guldur," Thranduil clouded.

He turned to the elven King, "It's not as empty as the white council thinks, is it?"

"My eyes cannot penetrate the darkness of that place, but I do know that the shadow of the East, the Black Easterling was called there to occupy it once again with two Nazgul. I wouldn't trust it safe to wander alone neither with company," Thranduil said carefully. *

"How about planning an attack on it?"

Thranduil shook his head, "dark magic keeps everything concealed. To us it's empty. Totally."

"Then maybe someone should provoke a revelation out of them," he tasted his wine thoughtfully.

"Like whom?" Thranduil's eyes looked at him searchingly.

"I am sure we'll find someone who's got the audacity," Thorin's brow lifted.

"Oh, of that I have no doubt" -Thranduil's lips curled up knowingly- "but that someone would have to own a good reason to put his life on the line like this. One does not simply wander into darkness."

"Shouldn't clearing out Dol Guldur be enough of a reason?" Thorin pursed his lips.

"Not good enough to risk your life. Not when so many things are at stake in Erebor and between us." Thranduil said calmly.

Thorin's brows came together darkly, "one might need to wander in it no matter the danger."

Thranduil looked at him carefully for a few moments before resuming. "This is a folly. We will find great resistance. The necromancer needs to keep that stronghold, especially now that you have reclaimed Erebor and the defences of the north have doubled. They fear our unity. If he gets his hands on Durin's heir he won't hesitate to kill him."

Thorin gave him a long thoughtful look.

Thranduil gazed at him carefully, "I understand the strategic need to wipe out that accursed castle, but the timing is wrong. Erebor is regrouping and my realm has suffered many casualties. Tell me and be truthful. What is it you really seek in Dol Guldur?"

Thorin's eyes became veiled, "the remains of my father and revenge against those who tortured him."

Thranduil's face fell upon those heavy words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tweaked the timeline when the Shadow of the East came to occupy Dol Guldur to fit this story. I think in the books it happens ten years later?


	36. Facing the terror

 

* * *

The rest of the evening rolled by rather easily. With Eilin managing to consume a couple of glasses of wine, and relaxing in good company and with him talking strategy with the elven King, even though he was not yet certain of the allegiance between them. The act of goodwill on Thranduil's part was still pending. When they left dinner, Rýngwen led them both back to Eilin's room and Thorin stood by the doors feeling rather confused.

"He's put us in the same room?" He asked, giving Rýngwen a deadpan expression.

"Yes, sir." Rýngwen showed them inside.

Eilin clasped his hand tightly and pulled him inside, "can you please don't push our luck?"

Rýngwen looked away discreetly, "I must bid you goodnight," she said and bowed at them before leaving.

"Goodnight and thank you!" Eilin yelled behind her.

The elf gave her a brief smile over her shoulder and continued on her way.

Eilin bit her lower lip playfully and closed the door, "come in and wipe all that broodiness from your handsome face. This is a beautiful room and we deserve a good night's rest after what we've been through."

"What have we been through really? Was it so serious? You've got to meet the elves. Eat and drink with them. A lovely room with a perfect view and new clothes that make my heart beat faster."

She raised her brow. "You know Thorin, I cannot help but wonder at your breathtaking equanimity through all this. At times it felt as if you had planned this all the way through."

He tilted his head and drew her close by the waist.

Eilin's eyes grew wide and she punched his chest, "You did!? Why would you do something like that to me?"

"Didn't you have a nice experience here?"

"I've been worried sick about you!" She looked at him angrily.

"Put all emotions aside and look at it coldly as an experience. Was it good?" His finger caressed her cheek.

She exhaled through her nose bothered, but had to be honest with him, "it was simply amazing, but you should have told me!"

He shook his head slightly. "You young lady, came here to enjoy a day amongst elves _._  I came here to speak politics. We both got the best we could out of this experience and no one got harmed."

She exhaled and pressed her lips, "did you come here to negotiate the Arkenstone?"

He remained thoughtful for a few moments, "I came here to give Thranduil a chance to act honourably towards my kin. An opportunity to make amends for his past errors."

"So what's the verdict of this elaborate plan of yours?"

"That is yet to be proven. I am patient," he said and his eyes caressed her face dotingly.

She sighed and touched his temple thoughtfully, "at least you didn't end up imprisoned. Something like that would have driven me mad."

"They told me you caused a racket up here for me."

"Of course I did. What did you expect? Me to sit in this expensive bed and wear such elegant clothes, while you are trapped in a dark wet cell?" Her eyes turned doleful.

His eyes bore to her face, taking in every inch hungrily and became more intense. The flat of his palm run up her thigh and towards her hips, picking up with it the airy material of her dress, "Eilin this dress..." he swallowed a very dry throat.

"It offended you didn't it? I knew it would. I asked them to give me something else, but they insisted it was an official elven gown," she blushed and averted her eyes.

A stifled groan came out of his throat, "It actually made me have very inappropriate thoughts about you."

She inhaled sharply and looked up at him, "it did?"

"Yes." He leaned over and nuzzled his nose on the hollow of her neck, causing goosebumps to chase over her skin. Her fingers curled around his arm and her nails send him the clear message of consent.

"Do you want me out of it? It's so complicated I think I'll never be able to take it off on my own," she offered with a gasp of pleasure when his lips latched onto her prickly skin.

"No," his tongue came out to taste her and she closed her eyes feeling her whole body coming onto attention for him.

"What do you want to do with it then?" she whispered and her fingers tunnelled through his wavy hair.

As his hand skimmed down her side, his thumb took care to derail on the mount of her breast, touching it's tip gently and delighting in her small whimper, before resuming down to her waist. There it began gathering the soft material of her dress in hungry fist fulls. With each firm lapping of his tongue on her throat, his fingers gathered more, until one side of it got lifted up to her waist revealing her smooth thigh. He drew her in by the waist still holding the crumbled material of the dress in his fist and his mouth opened up to bite her. She quivered hard. "I want to gather it all at your midsection and have a good grip on it while I have my filthy ways with you."

She sighed and closed her eyes, "oh, I'd love that."

His soft lips drew hot paths on her throat until he reached the point were her two collarbones met. There he licked gently at the small hollow that thundered with her strong heartbeat. He delighted on how her skin responded to him immediately and how her grip on his hair became harder. He responded by pulling the airy material of her dress and flushing her body against his.

"You are going to tear it up if you continue like this...ohh," she squeezed her eyes tight when he left her collarbone and created a wet path down to her full breasts that were pressed tight against the dainty material. The moment his tongue licked her nipple above the cotton her nails dug into his scalp.

"I want it torn to threads with you spilling above it, while I am buried between your thighs", he said and her spine vibrated to the resonance of his voice.

"Good heavens Thorin...," a deep moan woke up even at the thought. He opened his lips and his teeth encircled her sensitive peak carefully allowing his tongue to draw slow circles around it.

She felt the pain sharp and unexpected and it echoed deep into her womb. Her open lips hissed and she frowned. Even though her core was already throbbing with her usual need for this man, her breast gave her a rather unexpectedly negative shock, which lasted thankfully only for a moment under the heat that emanated from his body and mouth.

"Gently," she whispered and massaged his head. The vague thought that this pain resembled a lot the sensitivity her breasts had before she got her blood, only it was more intense, passed through her mind, but quickly got pushed aside as totally unimportant at that moment.

Thorin instantly adjusted the pressure on her peaks both with his mouth and with his fingers, making that painful jolt dissolve under the pleasure his kisses were offering to her body, or the hot tightness that became more intense in her core with each passing of his tongue. His soft lips and playful tongue, worked her up so quickly, that before he even had the time to move his hand between her legs, she was already grounding against his thigh that was rather accommodating. Especially through the thin material of her dress the rough leather of his trousers felt like she was in the undying lands.

After several desperate strokes against his leg, her core felt it's emptiness almost painful and she pulled pack panting. "Enough, take-this-off!" she looked at him through the fog that he had created in her mind with his words and his touch. Eilin tugged his tunic up with one hand and with the other opened the buckle of his heavy belt. It fell between their legs.

He pulled back only for a moment to take off his tunic which he discarded to the floor and then his boots. One was taken off with relative level headedness, but Eilin's heaving breath on his neck and her soft fingers curling on the band of his trousers, made him kick the second one off, sending it to fly on the half open windows that luckily sustained the hit. The moment she saw him half naked she pushed his hands back away from her and leaned down to taste him. She wanted to savour every single inch of tattooed skin and firm muscle.

He got drawn into a vortex of consuming feelings that threatened to overbalance him as her mouth worked up his already aching body. Everything from her today felt too overwhelming. The way she was sucking and licking his stomach, the way her hands shamelessly came to cup his buttocks in order to pull him in, the way she pressed her open cleavage above his trapped erection.

She was trying to arouse him more, but the only thing she was managing was to push him further away from his ability to keep a hold of his actions. His heavy breathing, became low key groans and they in turn changed into surprised moans as her teeth joined in the game. Her hands began untying the strings of his trousers, trembling with anticipation. The moment her tongue got busy with the line of hair that led below the band of his trousers his fingers tunnelled through her mane to keep her there. When her hands threw open the fly and lowered them down to his knees, he totally lost all grip to his self control. This demanding Eilin that was not afraid to show him what she desired, made him less hesitant to unleash his innermost needs to her. Up till that moment every love session with her had been careful, gentle and caring, but that is not what he needed tonight. Her lack of inhibitions allowed him to show her exactly what he wanted.

He pulled her up, turned her around and led her straight to the wall. She found herself bulldozed against it, with her cheek grazing the smoothness of the tiles and his strong body immobilising her. His hands lifted up her dress and pulled down her underwear silently and she could only hear her erratic heartbeat and her strained breaths. She tried to move under him, but found it impossible. When his large hand found her thin wrists and pulled them above her head, her whole world came tumbling down so violently that she felt unable to draw in a single breath.

In the midst of heat, with the only man she had ever loved, the images of her rape returned vengefully to overpower her. Thorin had managed to get her into the same constraint position, that the man who raped her had used. Without hearing Thorin's voice for reassurance, the memories became so overwhelming that her arousal was floored and instantly replaced with mind bending terror. She began trembling under him and tears streamed down her face. Her heart clenched both from fear and from disappointment towards herself, for ruining this beautiful moment between them. It was not the same thing, she knew it and yet blind panic took over once more. She felt her knees unlocking and knew that soon she'd faint. She had to communicate. She had to tell him what was wrong, but her voice wasn't working.

But he felt her, he felt her hesitation, her body stiffening and her shoulders shaking, "Eilin what's the matter?"

His beloved voice was a slap at her face, making her cry even harder. Knowing that it was him behind her and not her rapist should have been enough to calm her down, but it wasn't. The fear was still there, making her hands and feet cold. Making her previously throbbing core, dry out and clench tight to keep out every intruder. "Thorin not here, please, take me to the bed," she begged and tried to sound composed, but the sobs were unstoppable.

"Why are you crying?" He frowned and cleared her long hair away from her cheek in order to see her face.

She didn't know what to tell him.

"What did I do to cause this?," he sounded so heartbroken that she cried even harder. She was horrified for seeding him with pain and doubt.

She shook her head, "it's not you! No!" She tried to stop her tears, but it was impossible.

"Then what is it? Tell me, I am here," he said and gave a soft reassuring kiss at her exposed shoulder.

It took her countless tries to get the words out of her mouth and she failed. Her sobs became wails of pain at the memory of that terror that was always buried in the deepest part of her mind, waiting to be dug up. Even in deeply affectionate moments like this one.

Apparently her words were not needed for him to understand what was taking place into her mind. He sounded certain when he spoke next. "They defiled your womanhood you like this, against a wall…."

She nodded and turned the other way, not wanting to look at him. Counting the silent moments behind her. Feeling that this would drive him away from her. He knew about her defiled body and he had accepted her dismal past from day one, but now that he witnessed how this could ruin their intimacy she was sure that he was going to draw back. Leave her wailing like mad against the wall with all the bloody memories of her rape, raping her a second time over, just to make sure she'd never forget it.

The silence behind her didn't break for several moments, making her almost feel the ultimate defeat, so when his hands sought out hers and pulled them above her head once more she inhaled truly shocked. "Did they restraint you like this?" His voice was equanimous, but did little to sooth her down.

She nodded. "Yes, please take me to bed, I am going to faint."

"I am not going to let you faint," he said gravely.

"I don't want to stay here, please," she begged and remembered vividly her heartbroken pleads towards her rapist.

He placed her palms flat on the wall above her head and she wanted so much to pull them away, but she didn't dare. Her body began shaking uncontrollably, "let me go please." she whispered hoping that he'd speak to her again. She needed to hear Thorin's voice. She wanted to use it to ground herself in this reality and not in her nightmares.

His large hand circled around both her wrists, "was his grip this hard?"

She shook her head so hard her hair got into her face by the wetness of her tears. "No, it was more."

His iron clamp on her wrists tightened so painfully that her blood circulation stopped and she felt her bones crushing.

"Stop Thorin! Help me Eru, please," she send her voice to the maker, hoping to be spared.

"Are you afraid?" He said calmly.

"Thorin please don't force me to do this, please, no!" She tried to break free, but it was impossible to even budge.

"Do you trust me?" His voice softened, but his grip on her wrists didn't.

"With my life," she said and felt the honesty of those words coming into such contrast with the terror that was galloping through her mind right now.

"Then allow me to help you." He offered.

She panted and felt her nose running and staining the wall and her hair. She was disgusted with herself and with her memories. "Please don't hurt me."

"I never will," he said. His hand loosened up around her wrists and the blood rushed back so quickly, her palms filled with invisible needles.

'I am not him Eilin,' he whispered and his hand came between the cold tiles of the wall and her cheek gently. Her breath hitched. He caressed her face not caring of her disgusting bodily fluids staining his skin. Her heart missed a beat and her strong sobs halted abruptly as she remained frozen and panting. You could hear a pin drop in that room.

"You still want to touch me after all this?" she muttered.

"I'll tell you exactly what I want to do after all this." his voice was smooth.

She held her breath.

"We won't go to the bed…"

A new sob left her tight chest.

"You will keep your hands on the wall but on your own accord," he continued.

She shook her head, "I can't."

"Yes, you can…" he whispered and cleared the thick sweaty hair away from her back and tucked it above her shoulder.

His fingers untied the complicated strings of her dress with an ease that confused her. The soft material of her garment slid away from her shoulders, revealing her naked upper body. She was free. Free to do as she pleased. She could turn around, cover herself and run to the bed, to the bathroom, to his arms, to the balcony, anywhere but this damned wall. Yet, she didn't move. His command was enough to keep her there, still half terrified out of reason, as his hands softly picked up her wet hair and created a loose bun on the top of her head with a knowledge only a dwarf could have owned. She exhaled in relief as the cool air began drying out her tears and sweat.

"Better?" he gave her a soft peck on the side of her neck.

She nodded quickly and pressed her forehead on the wall trying to regulate her breathing. His experienced hands reached up and started a gentle caress on her face that had nothing erotic in it. He made soft paths from her forehead to her temples, her cheeks and nose, up around her eyes and then down to her jawline, again and again until he felt her exhaling deeply a couple of times. Then he moved down to her neck and shoulders alternating between gentle and firm touch.

When he reached her back he replaced his fingers with his nails skimming softly up and down her spine, sideways on her shoulder blades, and downwards on the small of her back. He was soon mesmerized by the way her skin replied to his touch, prickling shortly after his fingers had brushed over a spot, then settling down until he repeated the tenacious dance. He got so entranced by the subtle changes of her skin that he didn't notice the difference on her breathing now that her tears had completely dried up. Neither the slight wiggling of her buttocks when his fingers moved around her waist and towards her lower stomach.

"Oh," she exclaimed.

"You like it?"

"Yes," her eyes were drooping heavy and her mouth was half open.

He leaned over her, his body enfolding hers completely and his lips opened up above her shoulder line to nibble and bite her softly. One hand cupped her breast and mauled it carefully and the other made a bold path between her legs. To his surprise she was dripping wet behind her folds. Thorin felt his own need pressing rudely against her firm bum and gritted his teeth. He exhaled hotly on her skin as his open mouth lapped her sensitive skin hungrily, gaining on courage by the second. When his fingers spread her want on her core, she whimpered and moved her hips against his, teasingly.

The terror of her rape diminished after each gentle grazing of his lips to her skin. The memory of the pain got faded with each slick lapping of his tongue. The sobs that still raked the deepest part of her chest, got slowly replaced by soft moans that she was unable to stop as her body got unwinded. The freezing nervousness got overlapped by a slow growing heat that formed in her lower belly and slowly spread out like a star. Not once during his daring endeavour did she think to take her hands away from that wall. With each touch she grew hotter and more tense, until she reached a point were her hips were bucking against his fingers desperately seeking pleasure. Her mind had blessedly forgotten in what position he had her in, and she was finally open to receive the pleasure she was being offered and not the pain.

She felt him hard and warm running his length between her buttocks and her stomach tightened in hot expectancy. She bit her lower lip so hard that her mouth filled with the taste of blood and everything else but him evaporated into thin air. His hand slithered from the small of her waist and up her back until it grabbed a fistful of hair. He pulled her up to him. She shuddered by that dominating gesture, but his overpowering male energy prevailed over every fear. When his mouth opened up greedily and bit on her throat, a wave of heat exploded deep inside her and she prickled from the top of her head down to her toes, "you have to ask me," he whispered suggestively. His hand tightened on her mane, letting her know that if she agreed to this love making he wasn't going to be gentle with her and by heaven's she didn't want him to be. Hearing his baritone timbre, the very voice that was born from the stones of Erebor, speaking to her such words was enough to undo her.

"Please I need you," her voice was hushed, the words half bitten and her face grew red from embarrassment, but it was enough for him.

He pushed her down until her hands were flat on the wall once more. One hand kept a tight grip on her hair while the other steadied her hip with her airy dress trapped between his palm and her skin, as he had promised. When he moved inside her, he did it with care, but he didn't stop to let her get used to him as usual. He buried himself to the hilt with a single firm swoop that stole her breath away. She moaned hard and her tongue came out to lick her tears, "yes…" she murmured. He straightened and gave her one solid thrust that spread tentacles of ecstasy inside her womb and released up a broken groan from her chest. Her fingers curled trying to get a grip on the rough wall as another thrust made those tentacles twist viciously inside her, taking a grip of places only he could touch with his body, and she keened loud enough to wake up the dead. He released her hair and both hands came to her hips, securing her as he began a firm pounding that instantly rocketed her into another plane of existence. He lunged into her as if he was trying to drill out all her fears and frustrations by his actions if not by his words. As if he wanted to expel the excruciating pain of that rape out of her mind with every single rough invasion into the most intimate part of her trembling body...and she was simply unable and unwilling to resist his onslaught.

She allowed him to cleanse her in this greedy and proprietorial manner, yearning to forget everything that had happened to her in that tavern against a rough wall and replace it with how easily he had grabbed her pleasure by the hair and was twisting it around to his will, making it blossom with enviable ease. She felt a nail painfully breaking when she tried to grab the wall for some support as she was reeling quickly out of control. Her knees unlocked and if it wasn't for his steady hands keeping her up she would have collapsed as he drove inside her again and again. Wordlessly, breathlessly, trying to make her forget everything that happened through what felt like his own uncontrollable desire for her. Her body surrendered, as his considerable size bottomed out in her repeatedly, till she had no breath left. Then a sharp wail escaped her and her eyes squeezed tight as she felt unable to slow down the oncoming orgasm. His firm pounding was controlling it and it was coming fast….so fast that when it crashed on her she lost the world around her, together with her heartbeat. She whimpered incoherently as her body convulsed into a heart stopping surrender. "Wait, please...," the words sounded muffled to her ears.

He stopped and enfolded her onto his body, kissing her shoulder blade and heaving onto her fiery skin. Relishing on her release. "We are not done," he warned her and her body replied with a strong shudder that run from her nape down to the small of her back.

Her hands left the cursed wall and grabbed his forearms that were around her stomach. "Give me a mo-ment. I can't brea-the," she gasped trying to regulate her breath and stop her legs from shaking so much. He pulled her up and turned her around. Then he picked her up and took her to the bed. Before she could even realize what was happening he settled between her legs and claimed her again with the same breathtaking passion of before, only now it felt so much more intimate as their faces were an inch from each other and their breaths were battling for control. He stippled his fingers through hers and she felt the affection of his intimacy touching her heart. "Breathe with me," his lips moved above hers.

As he loved her achingly hard, she wrapped her legs around him and arched her body wanting to feel every inch of him. She found her body responding to his drive eagerly. Their breaths became heavier with each hard thrust and their bodies more sweaty. Their minds interweaved around what their joined bodies were doing and the world around them was eradicated. Neither him, nor her cared to keep their voices down or notice the loud creaking of their bed, or the loud thumping of their wet naked bodies. They didn't even remember their names, never mind care of how loud they had become.

His insistent deep thrusting managed to get her worked up to the brink of madness and when she was once again ready to give up everything for him, her mouth opened up and began a whispering chant that made him look up from her neck. He felt her muscles clenching around him and knew that she was close. His lips skimmed across her open mouth and he shuddered from the sudden clarity of what those broken whisperings were telling him.

_I love you..._

He heaved, feeling at the verge of his own release. Just a small step away from it. He twisted the crumbled up dress around his palm and dug his nails into her hipbone, keeping her there. He hissed at her open lips, "I can hear you."

She keened and threw her head back trying to control the conflagration of feelings that were consuming her.

He smoothed his lips over hers breathless, "say it."

Her eyes teared up, "I love you," she whispered.

He needed to hear her call those beautiful words out loud. Loud enough to thunder into the very bowels of his Mountain and reverberate through it's caverns and mines. Those sacred words should never be whispered, "louder." He said and moaned into her open lips.

"I love you" she called it loud enough to tear his heart out of his chest.

He broke apart then. His eyes overflowed with tears and he buried his head onto the crook of her head, brushing his lips at her ear, "I love you too." His voice steady, unwavering and honest, drove her to erupt around him so intensely that her internal muscles set off his orgasm. Their bodies clutched each other tightly, as they rolled into their ultimate ecstasy and if their declarations of pleasure had been unhindered before, during their climax they became truly bodacious.

They pulled back from each other after a long time, when they felt safe they wouldn't evaporate into a thin air. She looked deep into his eyes to see the love they both felt as the aftershocks of that unprecedented combustion he caused in her were still making her body tremble like a leaf. She smiled and caressed the side of his nose. If she could dive into the azure lakes of his eyes, she'd find herself swimming inside free of all the nightmares of her past life. Just because he allowed her into his life and captured her soul forever. How could she ever imagine a life without him after everything he had shown her?

"Did I scare you back there?" he pushed back several sweaty locks that were sticking on her forehead.

"A little," she smiled up to him calmly.

"Forgive me, but stopping would have allowed that nightmare to consume you. I wanted to uproot it," he kissed her cheek softly.

"Thank you for showing me that I don't need to be afraid anymore," she run her fingers through the long silver locks on his temples.

"Did I hurt you with my roughness?" he sounded mildly regretful.

"I absolutely adored your rough side! Can you love me again like this?...soon?" she said with a sly smile he missed.

Thorin laughed onto her neck feeling deeply relieved.

That is when someone else close by cleared their throat, loudly. They both froze for a couple of moments. He pulled back and looked at her wide eyed. She cupped her mouth and pointed to the room next to them. The embarrassment she felt echoed into the sudden flush of red in her cheeks. "Shit! We woke up someone!" she whispered.

He snorted, "apparently."

"You find that amusing?" she looked at him shocked.

"Immensely. You look embarrassed," he gave her an endearing smile that tightened up her stomach.

"Shouldn't I be?" she felt abhorred by what they had put their innocent neighbour through.

"Not really. We didn't do anything they are not doing," he kissed the side of her neck gently and then opened up his mouth to suck her skin in for good measure.

Her skin prickled, "that cough sounded rather austere."

He laughed silently. "Maybe, but I am glad they waited until we were over," he whispered.

"Maybe they enjoyed it?" She covered her face feeling even more embarrassed, but also partly amused at the thought of an elf listening in to their frenzied love making and getting a kick out of it. She couldn't even make that into an image without cringing hard.

He pulled her hands away, "Quite possibly they did."

"How will I ever dare to walk out of these doors tomorrow?" she closed her eyes feeling her cheeks burning.

"I'll cover you up in a big blanket," he looked at her quite delighted with her sheepishness.

She shook her head, "No way in hell! I am going to die in here. I am not leaving. The end!"

He laughed and that beloved rumble vibrated through her body, "We need to find another way to sneak you out then."

She grabbed his forearms, "Wait a minute. There so many abodes around us. Why would they immediately assume we made all that racket?"

He gave her an appreciative look that warmed her up, "because the dwarven blood that runs in your veins is an unstoppable inferno that can burn everything around to ash. I don't think any elf can reach the heights you do, or express them so shamelessly."

She clamped her eyes shut, but also felt immensely proud that she had pleased him so much, "you are making this very hard for me! I am going to die in this damned room. I am not leaving!"

He chuckled and embraced her. After a few moments were they both calmed down he looked thoughtfully towards the open window of their room, while stroking her hair away from her temples. As he settled the thoughts in his mind, he planted a soft kiss on her cheek and looked down at her as she was dozing off in his arms. "Did you understand that you declared your love for me back there?" he asked her after a few moments.

"I did it not once, but many times. Did you understand that you did the same?" she smiled up to him smugly.

"Yes," he touched her forehead softly.

"Did you regret it?" she frowned uncertain.

"I regret not telling you earlier how I felt," he said quietly.

"Me too," she whispered. Her next words came with difficulty, "I am sorry I broke down on you before. Sometimes the nightmares come out of nowhere, they numb me down and take over my mind and my body. I am unable to control myself at those moments. The terror paralyses me and usually I faint. This was the first time I didn't."

He caressed her temple softly and his eyes bore in hers, "I am so sorry you had to go through this kind of hell my Eilin".

She choked on her feelings and pressed her lips tight, "I know you are."

"We will take everything slowly and erase each nightmare, one kiss at a time."

She smiled up to him feeling grateful, "that sounds like the best plan in the world."

He sighed and took her into his arms, "men lananubukhs menu"

"I don't know that expression," she nestled under his chin.

"You've never had the opportunity to hear it before from anyone, did you?" he said with a small thoughtful frown.

She shook her head and tightened her arms around him.

"It means I love you," his fingers drew thoughtful circles on her hip and her eyes closed down heavily.

"Men lananubu...," she stopped and inhaled deeply, "It will take me time to say it in the language of your forefathers."

"Our forefathers," he whispered and placed a careful kiss on her head.

"Our forefathers, yes my heart..." her voice diminished and he heard her breath becoming instantly deeper as she was drawn quickly into a restful sleep. He held her close to his heart and closed his eyes bereft of any overburdening thoughts. The only things there for him, was her soft body and the memory of those three words coming out of her mouth with such sincerity. They remained immovable and calm sleeping securely around each other till the break of dawn.

* * *

Next morning their farewell to the elves was something that Eilin enjoyed thoroughly as she tucked the small airy dress Rýngwen gave her at the satchel of her saddle. Eager to tease him with it again after seeing how much it had aroused him, yet hoping he wouldn't tear it to pieces at one of their future fiery encounters. Thorin's mind was already entangled in brooding though. Thranduil did not bid them farewell, but Thorin didn't need such gestures of politeness from him. He wanted results out of this bold endeavour, which Balin would have deemed as totally crazy and unforeseen.

As his old advisor always said, a King should never become unpredictable, for then, he becomes dangerous, but Thorin disagreed. Even though her never deemed himself a good diplomat, sometimes impulsiveness in a diplomatic showdown could be what won or lost the match. Maybe the problem was his inability to think like a conventional politician, maybe it was the forever present warrior in him that prevailed over everything else or the dormant rebel that always hid under his cold and stern majestic exterior...and if all these were the most serious disadvantages of his rulership, maybe he could find a way to make them his biggest advantages. This time he tried to solve the problem instinctually, even though the one that initiated this snowball effect was currently blissfully unaware that she may have held the fate of his kingdom into the hollow of her small palm. He lifted his eyes to her as they approached the gates of Erebor and she reciprocated with a heartwarming smile.

"I don't want to go back. We'll lose all these magical moments in the Mountain. You are always busy there." Her lips turned down.

"I don't want to go back either," he admitted and turned his heavy gaze at the entrance. There were several people present outside.

She noticed too, "You are the King and you must rule...yet now we both sound like dwarflings who don't want to go to bed early."

He sighed, "that's exactly how I feel. If I could return back to the elvish realm in order to have you in my arms like I did last night, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

She pressed her lips regretfully and then gifted him a loving gaze, "Looks like we have a welcoming committee."

"I see them," he nodded.

"Do you want me to ride behind you?" she offered.

"No, continue as you are, don't address anyone and take your horse to the stables," he said and his eyes thinned on Balin that stood next to Dain, Fili and Dwalin with his arms crossed. A few people he didn't know stood a few steps behind, dressed in such expensive coats and bearing such intricate beards that he was certain they were part of a delegation.

"You'll take a lot of heat for what we did, won't you?" she looked at him concerned.

"I can handle the heat, now ride in front of me and get inside," he nodded at her encouragingly.

She frowned in obvious hesitation.

A soft smile spread on his lips. "I love you," he told her tenderly.

Her face opened up and she smiled affectionately at him, "I love you too."

"Go and let me handle this," he said calmly.

She offered him a guarded look for a few moments and then galloped in front of him. Dwalin and Balin both looked at her as she led her horse carefully around them and got lost into the darkness behind the heavy gates without addressing anyone. Then Balin's attention was instantly back at Thorin.

"Good morning my King, where have you been?" he asked formally.

"Taking care of matters of state," he said and dismounted. He threw the reins at Dwalin who tilted his head sideways, preparing Thorin for the nasty mood that awaited for him.

"Uncle these are Úri's Folk and Linnar's Folk. Freshly arrived from the Ironhills to offer their allegiance to the Mountain King. They've been expecting to be greeted by you since yesterday," Fili said, but his smile was restrained. Obviously his boy had been caught in the middle of a diplomatic difficulty, but Thorin didn't feel sorry for that. Fili had to learn how to take on the heat without flinching if he was to take over rule in the future.

He approached his nephew. "I have no doubt that you addressed them in my absence as etiquette requires proud son of Durin's Folk," he said sternly.

Fili puffed up with pride and bowed his head, "I did my lord."

He turned at the delegation that bowed to the ground for him. "Noble Broadbeams and Firebeards, it is an honour to have you in the Lonely Mountain. Forgive my absence, but there were serious matters of state that needed my attention. I am sure prince Fili was a gracious host to you."

A blonde dwarf with a stomach larger than Bombur's and hair longer than Eilin's came forth and pressed his fist on his chest, "The young heir of Durin, was a most graceful host and we are in his dept for everything he has done," the dwarf bowed at Fili who reciprocated. "I am Ámundur, from Úri's Folk. Commander of a thousand strong send to reinforce and join the army of the Lonely mountain. I am deeply honoured to be in the presence of the legendary Thorin Oakenshield. My liege, please accept our allegiance to the seven families, under the King's gem."

"The honour is mine," Thorin tilted his head imposingly.

"This is Durar of Linnar's folk, leading eleven hundred strong to add to your army," he presented the commander of the Broadbeams. A stout elder dwarf, with a long beard that reached to his knees and was tucked into his wide belt. He was mostly balding, but had arranged the remaining hair on the back of his head into three elaborate braids. Several tattoos of fierceness were painted on the top of his head and forehead. He knelt down heavily and his deep voice boomed impressively.

"My lord, you have the allegiance of the Firebeards and our deep respect, but allow me to express some concerns that had been raised the moment we arrived in the Lonely Mountain and weigh heavily on my mind," Durar said.

"Stand up and speak freely," Thorin said.

"We have been informed that the King's gem is missing. More so, that cursed elvish hands have a tight grip on it. Is that true?" Durar stood up and looked at him sternly.

"It is not true," Thorin shook his head and went back to the satchel at the side of his saddle.

Balin decided to intervene, "but my Lord the Arkenstone is not in Erebor. The elves of Mirkwood have it and we are negotiating it's return. I have already informed the delegations about the current situation."

Thorin pulled out the velvet bag that carried the white gems to Thranduil and his fingers skimmed around the round roughness inside it. A smile brightened up his eyes. "That may have been true yesterday my dear Balin. Today the facts have changed."

Balin looked at him confused. Thorin scrutinised him for a few silent moments before throwing the velvet bag at him casually. Balin caught it mid air. "What is this my lord?" he looked up perplexed.

"Put it back where it belongs master and let us lay the worries of all the delegations to rest once and for all, shall we?" he said gracefully.

Fili ran up to Balin that opened up the velvet pouch.

"What have you done, you pointy eared bastard?" Dwalin whispered at him.

Thorin flicked his brow at him.

"Is that the Arkenstone?" Dwalin asked, but Balin's voice answered everything for him.

"Gentlemen, the king's gem is back home!" he said with pride. Wide smiles of approval spread around everyone.

"That is wonderful!" Durar roared and stuck his forefingers in his belt pleased. His ferocious face bespoke of satisfaction, "these are most welcoming news!"

Ámundur came down to one knee. "May the king rule for ages under the King's gem and may all our families once again be united under the heirs of Durin the deathless. May he wake again from sleep by your loins my lord."

Thorin tensed slightly and got busy with tying down the ropes of his satchel to hide his sudden displeasure at Broadbeam's heartfelt wish. "May Durin wake up once more by the loins of a worthy man despite the name of his family or his lineage," he said nobly. All the lords bowed pleased at these words that placed the family of the Longbeards into the same level as all the other.

"Come follow me! We must place it above the throne of the Mountain immediately!" Balin said.

Thorin's lips curled up in a careful smile as he observed his friend's pleased countenance.

"How the hell did you do that?" Dwalin whispered at him as the delegations followed Balin who quickened his steps towards the throne room.

"Rather unconventionally," Thorin pressed his lips.

"Uncle, thank you for speaking with such grand words about me," Fili said and grasped his shoulder.

"You are a proud heir of Durin. You are next in line to the throne of the Mountain. You need to be able to handle the pressures that come along with the position. You proved yourself worthy once again. I wouldn't have spoken less for you," he smiled at his beloved nephew.

Fili brimmed with pride and pressed his forehead on Thorin's, "I love you," he whispered.

"Me too son. Now go after Balin because he is going to place the Arkenstone above that throne and a member of the royal family must be presiding," Thorin cupped his nape and jerked him lovingly.

"You should be the one to do that," Fili frowned.

"I've got things to discuss with Dwalin. Go in my stead," he shook his head and pushed him away.

Fili hesitated, but Thorin's calm smile reassured him that it was okay so he ran inside quickly.

"I won't ask how you managed to get back the Arkenstone all on your own, but I am impressed," Dwalin crossed his arms.

Thorin humphed.

"You know when you rode away with Eilin, you created a small chaos" Dwalin said carefully.

"That was my intention," Thorin pursed his lips.

"Your intention is to announce your situation with the girl outside the enclosure of our company?" Dwalin raised his brow

"Yes," Thorin's eyes fixed on him.

"I don't know if that pleases me or scares me. Are you sure you are ready to take on the heat for this?" Dwalin frowned.

"Rumours about me and her are loose already in Erebor. The sooner I get this out of the way, the sooner we can come into a final decision about everything else," Thorin averted his eyes and looked thoughtfully at the saddle of his horse.

"Why do those words sound unsettling to me? What is your brilliant mind planning this time?" Dwalin's eyes thinned on him.

"When the time comes for me to know for certain, you will be the first one to know," Thorin raised his eyes steadily on him.

Dwalin sighed patiently. "So did you actually take Eilin to Thranduil in order to shoot your point across to Erebor? It was not necessary for her to go with you. You are playing a dangerous game."

"Thranduil told me the exact same thing, but my game worked in his case. Let me weave this my own way and worry less than Balin," Thorin retorted austerely.

Dwalin pursed his lips. "Remember that I have your back. Always."

Thorin raised his brow and smiled. "I think soon I'll need all the support I can get."

Dwalin sighed and looked towards the entrance. "Just so you'd know, Fili was right. It is you that must stand under the throne as the Arkenstone is placed in it's rightful position."

Thorin's face darkened then suddenly. "I don't want to be close to that accursed gem and Fili needs to take on more responsibility for this stronghold. One day it shall be his, so let the boy learn how to handle demanding situations without me. I won't always be here..." -He looked up at Dwalin and halted his spoken thoughts. His friend's eyes were guarded, trying to figure him out- "I won't always be here for every single chore. He will have to take over some of them."

"The placement of the Arkenstone above your throne is not just a chore," Dwalin said and followed him inside.

"The value of that gem becomes as great or as meaningless as we choose. I've lived under it's shadow long enough Dwalin." He said sternly and led his horse towards the stables without making any attempts to direct his steps towards the throne room.

Leaving a deeply thoughtful Dwalin musing behind.

* * *

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	37. The Forsaken Inn

It was a little more than a week later that Karunn's carriage stopped in front of tavern. Karunn alighted and looked at the swinging sign. Half of the letters were faded by the merciless passage of time.

"The Forsaken Inn."

She humphed pleased at the deteriorating state of Eilin's original abode, happy that she hadn't seen it in it's glory days. Apparently right now it was nothing more than a dirty brothel, a day's ride away from the village of Bree. A place where for the worst criminals of Middle Earth could get a cheap drink, a bed and maybe a prostitute. She looked at the dirty windows and saw several shadowy figures moving inside. Faint music was heard through the thick wooden panels. She wiped away the rain that was dripping from her elaborate hood. No one was outside to give him the care of her horses and she really didn't want to leave all her boxes unattended, but she had no choice. Ever since she dismissed her father's escort she had to handle things on her own. She found no problems on the road and most people she met were accommodating villagers that were coming and going from their work or the surrounding forests.

So now that she was on the doorsteps of what her family would have considered the lowest scum of the earth, apart from orcs, she hesitated. Her deep hatred about that stable bitch and that conceited King was enough to rekindle her courage. She tied the rope around the fence that surrounded the tavern and straightened her cape. She took a couple of steps and placed her hand on the handle. Then she stopped and felt her heart beating almost out of control. She didn't come all this way to back down, did she? She remembered Eilin flirting with the King with an audacity Karunn yearned to wipe out and then she remembered how much the King ridiculed her.

The need for revenge was too strong to be subdued by the fear of coming face to face with murderers, whores and drunkards. When she opened the door she was assaulted instantly by loud music that was completely untuned, a stench that made her gag and too many ugly faces all looking at her simultaneously. The stubbornness of her dwarven blood worked to her advantage. She entered as if she owned the place. When she reached the bar, the owner, a stout woman of grey hair leaned her elbow on the counter and grinned down at her. Most of her teeth were gone, and those that still stood were deteriorating.

"A dwarrowdam so far away from a major dwarven city? This is a rare sight," she cackled.

"Times are changing. Once dwarrowdams never travelled at all, now they feel secure enough in their strength to do it."

The woman raised her brow and looked at the drunken patrons, "she's a feisty one, ain't she?"

"Might be worth going through her once to see if the dwarfish blood is as hot as rumours say it is," an elderly man that smelled of piss said.

"If you can overlook the sideburns. I am not sure I am into that one," another patron cringed.

"You are not the one to choose. You smell so bad, even a sewer rat would have denied you to touch it," another one joined in.

Telling those fools that she was the niece of Dain, one of the butchers of Azanulbizar was tantalising, but she wanted no one to track her to this sleazy tavern. "I have relatives that know where I am and will come searching for me if I don't return soon. I am sure you don't want the wrath of several dwarven clans to fall onto your establishment," she addressed the matron, completely ignoring the two men.

The matron's eyes wavered and she looked at the men, "Shut up. We don't want trouble. Mess with yeh drinks and my girls or else I will remove yeh bowels through yer tonsils! We don't mess with dwarves, is that understood?"

The men flicked their shoulders and began bantering between themselves. A few other customers that seemed interested in the newcomer decided that it was best to mind their own business after the menacing stare of the matron fell on them. The music resumed and Karunn looked up at the seasoned woman.

"So what can I get yeh? Drink, room, a woman?"

Karunn cringed, "I am a woman myself."

"A matter of tastes darling. Who am I to judge?" The matron flicked her shoulder and spat at the floor. Then her yellowish cat-eyes narrowed on Karunn, "so what will it be fer yeh majesty?"

Karunn heard the undertone of disrespect, but she didn't care. As long as she could do her business that was more than enough, "I came to enquire about a former employee of yours."

"Many service girls have passed from this place. Name?" The matron threw her chin up dismissively.

"Eilin…" she almost choked on the rest words. "Interracial. Half dwarf half human."

The matron raised her brow.

"Ever heard of her?" Karunn's heart began racing.

The matron didn't move an eyelid.

"Long red hair, slim figure, green eyes, pretty face…." The words almost got stuck in her throat, but she had to act nice.

The matron shook her head, "nope, don't remember 'er"

Karunn frowned, "how can that be? She was adopted by the owner of this tavern years ago. She grew here since she was a baby."

"Marie adopted her?"

Karunn didn't know the name so she simply nodded, shooting in the dark.

The matron spat on the counter and began cleaning it with a dirty cloth, "eh, that's why I dunno 'er. I bought this place from the previous patron. His wife died from the black death, and he gave everything up. I had a few pennies and he was willing to sell it to me no matter the low price. I don't know the previous girls that worked here. Only the ones that I have under me care."

Karunn felt her heart falling. Had she undertaken this dangerous trip for nothing? She tried to find some thread that she could bring home, "maybe some of your girls remember her?"

"I don't wanna bother me girls, unless you are in fer business missy," the matron spat again.

"I won't bother them. I am just going to ask around. It is very important. A matter of life and death."

The matron flicked her shoulders, "if yeh can find anyone down here to help yeh, feel free, but yeh ain't going up in the rooms."

Karunn pressed her lips and inhaled, "very well. Can I try?"

The matron flicked her shoulder, "only if yeh pay fer a drink."

Karunn's jawline flexed, "fine give me a mug of your best mead."

The matron went to serve her and Karunn noticed many women sitting upon the laps of men, but she had no idea were to begin. When the matron returned with her mead, Karunn opened up her velvety pouch and paid, not noticing a couple of dark looking creatures of the underworld observing her from the other side of the room, half hidden behind their dirty capes. She took the mead at hand and approached an empty table. She sat down and pretended to enjoy her drink as her eyes scrutinised every single girl. Most seemed busy, having a customer digging under their petticoats, others were dancing or singing. Just as she began feeling too overwhelmed by all this menagerie of debauchery and filthiness, both in a physical and in an ethical sense, someone approached her from behind quietly. When a dirty small hand landed on her shoulder she had to refrain from screaming to the top of her lungs. She jerked and turned around, only to see the ghost of a girl, hidden behind long black hair that was terribly oily. Her eyes were fearfully wide, gazing at Karunn.

"What are you doing?" She frowned and shook her shoulder free of the girl's tight grip.

"Heard you asking around about Eilin," the girl's eyes shot left and right quickly, clearly in apprehension.

Karunn's disposition instantly changed from animosity to being touched by someone so dirty and positively sick, to hopeful that she may have had a bright stroke of luck. She forced a smile to her face and pointed at a chair next to her, "yes, Eilin Firebeard. Have you heard of her?"

The girl pulled the chair and sat in it quickly, as if she was afraid someone was going to see her doing that and come after her. She nodded, "first you need to tell me what you want her for and prove to me that you know her. Then I speak."

Karunn looked at the girl and frowned, "what's your name?"

The girl's eyes looked around concerned. She was trembling like a leaf and a whiff of piss and gathered bodily dirt came over to Karunn again, more intense than ever, "Rhiannon."

Karunn swallowed her need to gag and caressed the braids of her sideburns, "you look positively terrified and hungry."

Rhiannon's eyes flicked up to her quickly, "I am famished ma'm. Haven't eaten in three days."

"Why?" Karunn frowned and raised her hand to call the attention of the matron.

"Haven't pleased my last customer ma'm. He didn't pay for me and now the madame is punishing me for it. I cannot please anyone ma'm, my body is failing me. I am sick," Rhiannon said and her eyes filled with tears.

A service girl came to them, "what can I bring you?" She asked.

"Food for this one and another mug of mead," Karunn dismissed her.

"The matron will not agree to you feeding Rhiannon. She's been punished," the service girl said nervously.

"Tell the matron that I will pay for her services as she is pleasing me. I will also pay for her previous customer and for her food," Karunn replied calmly.

Rhiannon looked up surprised at that, "I will do my best to please you ma'm even though I've never been with a dwarrowdam before."

The service girl left with an alarmed nod and Karunn turned to Rhiannon, "I don't expect you to act on those services. I am just doing it to get you out of trouble. I just want to talk about Eilin. That's all."

Rhiannon's look was heavily guarded for a few moments, but when she saw the matron looking at them with suspicion she turned at Karunn almost in despair, "thank you ma'am. May Eru bless your heart with eternal health and happiness. Tell me what I can do to pay you back for what you have done for me."

"Tell me about Eilin," Karunn smiled and forced herself to grasp Rhiannon's skeletal fingers.

Rhiannon's eyes cast down, "How do you know her?"

Karunn pulled back and cupped her mouth acting all emotional suddenly, "she's my best friend actually."

"She is?" Rhiannon's eyes flared.

Karunn nodded, "She arrived in the Ironhills two years ago and we became really close. We are more like sisters than anything else. She had been wandering the Dunlands for ages, before a family helped her over to Lord Dain's stronghold. She became a stable girl, but one day I lost my diamond bead and she found it and brought it back to me. I appreciated her honourable heart so much, that I decided to keep her as my maiden. It wasn't long before her innocence and loyalty stole my heart and I began trusting her with more personal issues. Soon we became very close. If you know her as you proclaim, you must have been witness to the honour and honesty that is in her heart."

Rhiannon nodded, easily falling into Karunn's well versed words, "she was always like that. A ray of bright hope for all those that were drawn by darkness. I am so relieved that she found her way to the amazing dwarven cities. That had always been her dream. Is she still in the Ironhills then?"

Karunn shook her head, "No she relocated. I suppose you haven't heard that Erebor has been reclaimed…"

Rhiannon's dirty and cold hand clamped hers, "by the Longbeards. Everyone in Middle Earth knows that the Lonely Mountain is free again ma'm."

Karunn smiled widely, "a relative of mine stood by King Oakenshield's flanks in the heat of battle."

"Blessed is his name in it's bravery," Rhiannon smiled at her and her broken yellowish teeth made Karunn's stomach twist violently.

"Blessed may it always be. When the battle was over I was invited over to Erebor by the King himself and I decided to take Eilin with me," Karunn continued.

Rhiannon's eyes flew wide open, "did she get to meet the legend she always pined after? Did her dream come true?"

Karunn frowned slightly taken aback, "what?"

"The Mountain King. She's always been pining after him. I think the stories I said about that legendary dwarf had stolen her brains away. She used to paint rather nice drawings of him, based on my descriptions, which I am not sure were ever accurate," Rhiannon added with a ghostly smile.

Karunn touched her heart theatrically, "she didn't just meet him my darling girl. She fell in love with him and alas he fell in love with her."

"What!?" Rhiannon almost jumped out of her chair.

Karunn restrained her, "sit down and listen. The moment their eyes met sparks flew off in every direction. I knew that he liked her the moment he met her and that she did too. At first poor girl was too embarrassed to reveal to me the extent of her feelings, but I managed to dig them out of her. Then it was the turn of the King to reveal himself, but that was much harder for me to accomplish. It was a single night that brought them closer to each other. A dwarven gathering with a lot of mead, food and pleasant company. They found each other in the dark and talked long. After that there was no turning back for either of them."

Rhiannon's eyes were filled with tears, "her dream came true then. She lives amongst the dwarves…and she's in love. My darling little girl is in love…."

"In the most impressive stronghold of Middle Earth and is under the protection of the Mountain King himself. He took her originally as his maiden from me, which I condoned since I wanted to do everything in my power to help them, but now she's much more than a simple royal maiden," Karunn smiled at the sick creature that looked ready to collapse in front of her.

That is when the service girl returned with a plate of pitiful looking stew and a mug. She placed them in front of Rhiannon that quickly forgot all about Eilin's amazing luck and attacked the plate with mouth and fingers together. Karunn looked slightly disturbed at her and then at the service girl.

"That will be one silver coin," the girl said and pointed at the matron with a flick of her head.

Karunn frowned, "a silver coin for this?" She almost hissed towards Rhiannon that didn't hear anything as she was concentrating on her food.

"You wanted her," the service girl winked.

Karunn exhaled through her nose, "fine." She opened up her velvet pouch and took out a silver coin.

"I can understand," Rhiannon mumbled with half her mouth full of food, half of it running down her chin. Karunn buried a gag and coughed instead.

"What?"

"How the King got entranced by Eilin. She was always a true beauty. Not only outside, but inside also. Especially inside. I always told her that dreams could come true if you wanted them bad enough. When she left the tavern to get a better life after her rape I was so afraid that she was going to die on the road, but she managed it. She hides the bravest heart you will ever know, under the most dainty exterior you can find," Rhiannon nodded at her own thoughts and her fingers picked up more food and shovelled it to her mouth.

"She's an amazing girl that has shown me the value of a loving heart and a loyal soul. She fought through many hardships to end up where she is now. Sharing the King's bed," Karunn felt anger sheathing inside her upon those words.

Rhiannon looked up sharply at that, "why only his bed? Will he dishonour her? Will he not marry her?"

Karunn looked at the sauce that was dripping from her chin onto her dirty black half torn dress, "things are difficult, that is why I swore to help her out. That is why I undertook this arduous journey on my own to try and find some connection to her past. You see Eilin was and remains a maiden. In dwarrow culture it is not common for such different ranks to wed. Add to that her interracial status and things are not easy for them. The King's court is causing them a lot of grief. They don't want their King married to a maiden and moreover a maiden that is not a dwarrordam."

"but half her blood is dwarfish! You know it. You said it to the matron!" Rhiannon forgot all about her food.

"I know it, he knows it, she knows it, but we have to make his court believe it. Only then and then alone they might accept Eilin as the new Queen of Erebor," the words almost choked her.

Rhiannon's eyes filled with tears, "why can't they leave them alone since they love each other? True love is so rare, when it appears in this manner, people should revel in it, not try to destroy it."

Karunn nodded, "I agree, that is why I travelled long and far. To reach Eilin's original abode, ask for her friends and beg them. Beg you. If you have something that can prove beyond doubt Eilin's true identity, we need it! Any object that might have once belonged to her, anything that could signify who she was. Please please, and that is the voice of Eilin begging you, not mine. Give me something to present to the King and his court. Anything that she might instantly recognise as her own and that might prove her identity. Anything she might have left behind after fleeing this place. You are her only hope."

"I was her only friend here. I loved her as my sister," Rhiannon wiped the tears away and a trail of clean skin appeared on her cheek. "When she got raped I was the one that cleaned her and tried to heal her, but I knew that after that she wouldn't stay another day. She never worked as a prostitute even though the previous matron asked her many times. You see her beauty was rare and many customers were asking for her. She was never forced though, as the matron had been raising her as part of the family. She was asked many times for her services. She denied countless. No one ever touched her and under the eye of the master no one ever dared. But one day when the owners were gone she was attacked and defiled. That experience broke her apart and torn her to pieces. She couldn't live here anymore. I led her to the door the night she sneaked out. I kissed her like a sister that I was never going to see again and watched with tears streaming into my very soul as she ran into the shadows. I thought she was going to die by the end of the week. In fact until you mentioned her tonight I was mourning her as my lost sister. Now I learn that not only did she make it, but she earned what she had always deserved and my heart is rejoicing. You ask of something from her past. She left nothing behind…"

Karunn felt her heart dropping.

"Nothing that she knows off," Rhiannon said quietly. Her stew was becoming cold, totally forgotten by then.

Karunn frowned, "go on."

Rhiannon looked down at her hands and hesitated, "there is something I found at the fields one day, but I never returned it to her. She didn't want it back. She hated that thing. I am not sure I can give it to you. It might not please her to see it again."

Karunn forced herself to cup Rhiannon's hand, "I am ready to help you out of this hellhole, if you help me and Eilin in her quest for happiness. What is it you found?"

Rhiannon hesitated for a long time, where Karunn was itching to bitch slap this sick skeleton into action once more, before speaking, "her baby belt."

Karunn's body broke out in goosebumps, "baby belt?"

"When she was left to this doorstep, she had a dwarven baby belt around her small body. Carried the Firebeard sigil on it. I suppose the dad was some Firebeard lord that did the bad deed with a woman and instead of letting the result die in the wilderlands he decided to give her a chance in this tavern."

"Lord?" Karunn sounded thoughtful.

"No one can spare such an expensive looking belt and not own a good amount of money," Rhiannon said.

"Why didn't she want this belt?" Karunn frowned.

"It reminded her of how much her parents despised her. She used to wear it as an armband when she grew older, but one day it got lost in the fields she was working on. When she got home she said she got rid of her past once and for all and was glad she lost that damn piece of dark history. Never asked for it again. I found it when I was picking up barley, half buried in mud, months later. One of it's golden threads was shining under the sun despite the dried dirt gathered on it. I never gave it back to her," Rhiannon's feral eyes looked up at Karunn's cold stare.

"Can you bring it to me? I will pay for it. Pay well enough to help you escape this miserable place. It will help your friend immensely. You might even be able to travel to Erebor and seek your friend there. You might have a chance to create a new life with her."

"Are you sure she won't be mad to see it again?" Rhiannon frowned.

"I am sure she will, but if it can help her wed the Mountain King I think she can overlook her past feelings for it, don't you agree?" Karunn forced a sweet smile on her lips.

"You can take me with you back to Erebor then? Will I be able to see Eilin?" Rhiannon eyes gleamed with a ghost of happiness.

Karunn hesitated, "if you bring me the baby belt I'll see what I can do to get you out of here," she said, never intending to allow her to arrive in Erebor. She had to find a way to get rid of the only witness that could link her to this tavern, but for now she had to play along.

Rhiannon's hand grasped hers almost painfully, "help me leave this place ma'm and I will be your servant till the day I die. I will service your every need, whatever that may be. I might not be pretty or healthy anymore, but what I have is yours. Just help me escape this hellhole. I cannot stay here anymore. I will die… help me please…" she croaked and came into such a heavy bout of coughing that Karunn shuddered abhorred. When Rhiannon looked up there was a small trickle of blood at the side of her mouth.

"You will come with me, only if you prove that what you said is true. Prove to me you have Eilin's belt. Bring it and I will allow you to follow me so you can give it to her yourself," she said calmly, not intending to allow this filthy creature to live further than a day's ride away from this tavern. She'd find a way to kill her. With the right amount of coins everyone in this tavern would do her in.

Rhiannon's eyes brightened up and she pushed her chair back, "please don't leave ma'm. I am going up to bring it to you!" She said and with a youthful energy that seemed improbable for her broken body she rushed up the stairs. Karunn's eyes crossed with the matron and she raised her brow haughtily. At least this trip hadn't been in vain. She was going to get her revenge, even if it was the last thing she would do.

Rhiannon returned so quickly that she crashed onto a client who cursed and bitch slapped her. She fell onto the wall holding her bloody nose, but even the matron's angry look didn't faze her as she kneeled next to Karunn with beseeching eyes, "here, here it is. Please don't kick me away now. Please take me with you, lest I die. I want to see Eilin, please ma'm…." She begged with heart wrenching sobs that could have moved anyone except Karunn.

She took the belt and twisted it around. It was falling to pieces, almost threadbare, but the remaining golden threads that twisted around the rune of Úri's Folk betrayed a reality that made Karunn's heart explode with hatred. Not only did that stable girl manage to burrow her way into the King's bed, she was also a true Firebeard heir. Something that Karunn didn't want the King to know, but on the other hand this belt would also prove her most powerful tool to dismantling their happiness inch by inch. She turned the belt around and checked on the underside. There was a combination of runes that she didn't understand. "Will Eilin recognise this when she sees it?"

"Most certainly, but she will be shocked. I am not sure she's going to like it," Rhiannon looked at Karunn almost lovingly, and began playing with the frills on her tunic.

"That matters little," Karunn said thoughtfully.

Rhiannon pulled her tunic, "will you take me with you ma'am?"

Karunn looked down at the fragile and sick creature kneeling at her feet. She would most certainly not leave any witnesses behind, "of course. Bring over the matron so I can negotiate your price and then go fix your bag. You are coming back to Erebor," she said with a reassuring smile.

Rhiannon smiled up as brightly as all her destroyed teeth allowed, "thank you ma'am, bless your heart, bless your family and your offsprings, bless your womb, bless your husband…bless…"

"Enough! Now go," Karunn send her off dismissively.

Rhiannon ran off to get the matron, not knowing that her death was already being planned by the woman that offered her safety. Karunn looked down at Eilin's baby belt. Her mouth formed the most hatefully twisted smile a person could master.

* * *

Back in Erebor, Eilin looked at the progression and felt her stomach again twisting in uncomfortable knots. She'd been fighting not to throw up ever since she woke up in Thorin's bed. She didn't tell him anything as he dressed up and left for his obligations, making sure that she was safely sleeping. When the door closed behind she sprang up panting with the effort to keep from gagging. She had been feeling like this every morning for the last four days. At first she thought it was something she ate. She emptied her stomach and slept as much as she could, but the next day she got a repetition. Thorin was worried when she hid into his bathroom, forcing herself not to gag loud enough to be heard. Trying to appear pleasant and in a good mood, she re-entered his bedroom. If he did notice something he didn't mention it, but her mood was ruining their intimacy. She had no courage to lift herself from the bed, never mind satisfying this overwhelming man. She denied him their intimacy several times over, with the poor excuse of having a pain in her head. He didn't seem to mind, and he took care to alleviate her discomfort, but she wasn't sure she was doing the right thing by keeping all this from him.

This noon she managed to drag herself out of bed in order to assist princess Dis half heartedly. Now she was standing behind her and Lady Valdis, overlooking the progression of the King and the lords of the delegations towards the throne room.

"He's so good looking," one of the girls said.

"Which one, for I see plenty of good looking dwarves at that corridor…" Her friend giggled.

"The King, of course" The first girl rejoined.

"He's out of our league, but how about that handsome wall of muscle and fierceness behind him?"

"The half bald one?"

"Yeah," the second girl sneakered under her palm.

"He's one of the Longbeard lords and first cousin to the King. He is out of our league also!"

"They are all out of our league! Will you keep it down, silly girls. They are all lords of the seven families. None of them is going to look down at us maidens for a wife!" one of the silent bystanders retorted quietly.

"No harm in dreaming is there?" The girl that spoke about Dwalin rebuked.

Eilin cupped her mouth and took several deep inhalations, trying to keep her nausea in check. The need to puke slightly won over the need to cry at how insanely accurate these girl's words had been. Which dwarf lord would ever look so low in rank for a wife? Which one apart from the one that stood highest of them all. The one who had wrapped her poor heart around his little finger. She wanted to turn around and offer these girls the hope they needed but shook her head against such a folly.

She fought against the urge to tell the girl that maybe she could get her to meet Dwalin and who knows maybe the dwarfish customs concerning marriage would finally change for all of them, but she denied herself the pleasure. She simply stood there, becoming paler by the minute as her eyes feasted on Thorin far longer than appropriate. He looked distinctly moody and all she wanted to do was push Valdis out of the way and run up to that group of ten formidable looking men, push them aside also and then bury herself into his arms. Without minding that Thorin hadn't decided yet to make their situation known to a bigger audience than his close company, she wanted to take that initiative for him. Finally though logic won over and she cast her eyes down as the great lords of the old dwarven lores got lost into the shadows that led to the throne room. Slowly everyone began dispersing around them.

"Eilin are you alright?" Valdis frowned when she turned around.

Young Lis touched Eilin's bicep carefully, "what's wrong ma'am?"

Eilin shook her head and felt her eyes watering by the seer need to keep herself from emptying her stomach on princess Dis's boots, "a dizzy spell. I'll be alright."

"You look as pale as a ghost ma'm," Loa's voice made her look up.

"I am fine," she whispered and leaned her palms on her thighs.

Dis turned to them.

"You don't look fine, you are ready to collapse," Valdis frowned.

"I assure you I am fine…" she said, but that is when her stomach clenched so hard that she turned around unable to stop herself and puked in the middle of the corridor, in front of the princess and her lady in honour. She grasped her knees tightly and gagged so much that she felt her heart was going to be spat out of her mouth also. When her head began clearing and her stomach didn't have anything more to give, she felt a pair of hands securing her hair away from her face.

"That's not you being fine." It was princess Dis.

Eilin shook her head, "I am so sorry my lady. I didn't mean to cause you and Lady Valdis any grief."

Valdis gave her a handkerchief to wipe her mouth and Eilin took it reluctantly, "I don't want to dirty this my lady."

"Keep it, I don't mind," Valdis smiled at her.

"You need some attention," Dis said.

Eilin nodded, "I feel much better now my lady. Don't worry." The relief she felt after emptying her stomach was obvious in her face, but she did feel weak to the knees.

Dis shook her head decisively, "you are in no position to follow us down to the north-west residential cavern. Valdis can you take care of that with Loa? My brother has no need either of her or of Eilin at this point. He will be locked up with the lords of the seven families in grandfather's study for a long time."

Valdis bowed and looked at Loa and her daughter Lis, "of course I can my lady."

"Take care of the newborn down there. Every rare birth is immensely significant for our people and for Erebor. Be present in my stead." Dis said calmly.

Valdis nodded, "very well my lady, come Loa," she said.

"Leave Lis with us," Dis said.

"Yes my Lady," Loa bowed and followed Valdis.

Lis came next to Eilin, "what can I help with ma'm?"

"You go to the kitchens and make her a cup of tea. Use chamomile flowers, not leafs. See if there is some honey-cake and make a tray for her," Dis ordered.

The girl bowed and ran off to do their bidding.

Dis turned at Eilin that was trying to figure out how to wipe away the floor from her mess, "Are you seriously trying to clean this up?"

Eilin's look was forlorn, "Yes?" She winced.

Dis shook her head, "come I will escort you back to your room."

"I should be escorting you," Eilin looked at her sadly. She felt totally miserable.

Dis locked elbows with her and smiled, "I thought we were beyond all those typicalities when we were alone."

Eilin shook her head, "I will never be able to see you as nothing less than my mistress, my lady."

Dis waved her off and led her slowly down to her room with measured steps that Eilin could follow, "stop the nonsense and tell me if you ate something that bothered you."

"No, as a matter of fact the last four days I cannot eat so much, exactly because I am constantly nauseous."

Dis's eyes thinned, "what time of day do you feel worst?"

"Upon waking up," Eilin didn't hesitate.

Dis nodded thoughtfully and led her silently into her room. She ordered Eilin to lay in bed and went to the kitchens to overlook Lis's attempt at the tea. When she returned to the dark room, Eilin was already dozing off. Dis went to the fireplace and replenished the dying embers. Eilin's eyes cracked open.

"This is so wrong in every aspect possible," she whispered.

Dis raised her brow, "Is it?"

"A princess serving the maiden," Eilin pushed herself up.

"When the maiden is loved by the King, his sister becomes her protector," Dis rejoined cleverly.

Eilin closed her eyes. Her mouth was dry, but at least her stomach was not complaining anymore. If it wasn't for that damned weakness she felt, she'd be ready to follow the princess down at the caverns and work properly.

"Do you feel better?" Dis frowned and came over.

"Yes much better, I am just feeling slightly weak. That's all," Eilin forced a smile.

Dis run her fingers on Eilin's warrior braid and picked up the golden bead at it's tip. She smiled wistfully. "I never mentioned that this is a family heirloom have I?"

Eilin touched the bead and blushed, "no and he didn't either."

Dis smiled and nodded. "Mom gave this bead to Thorin when he was coming out of childhood and entering young adulthood. She always thought that dad was treating him too roughly and she wanted to pamper him at times more than the rest of us. That never lasted long though. Dad's iron will influenced mom and she became as rough towards Thorin as Thrain was. At times even cruel to the eyes of an outsider. So my big brother ended up not only having the responsibilities that dad was giving him, like learning to rule, to fight and to always be there for his people, but also he had mom giving him complete responsibility of me and Frerin. Thank Mahal's beard she didn't also give him the household chores, not that he didn't have to partake in many of them anyways."

"That sounds so unfair," Eilin frowned.

"Don't judge them harshly. Mom and dad had three kids and responsibilities should have been split into three equal parts, but Thorin was next in line for the throne. Dad needed to have a strong grip on him in order to mould the next Mountain King out of him. It's the same thing that Thorin is doing for my son Fili now."

Eilin smiled and nodded.

"And my dad was not so wrong in doing so, because my older brother had truly been wild in young adulthood and needed a lot of taming."

Eilin smiled, "was he?" She asked almost proudly.

"Maybe it was brewing male energy yearning to be free, maybe Longbeard stubbornness, maybe bravado, but the young boy I remember was causing trouble all the time in Erebor and all the surrounding cities."

"Now he is the epitome of a King," Eilin said.

"That was the result of a lot of work from my father and mother. They suppressed the young Thorin from running wild, so much so, that in the end I fear they killed his true identity. They killed that boy standing on top of the banisters, blowing the huge horn with his black hair whiplashing his face, just because he wanted to wake up Erebor long before the golden bell did."

Eilin smiled, but knew those words were not true. She had seen the real Thorin not only once, but many times and it was he that she had fallen in love with. Not the King.

Dis continued more darkly, "I don't know what it was that dad was thinking. That their first born would be blessed by Durin the deathless himself and he'd be ready to take on rule from the first moment he got out of my mom's womb? Probably. Thorin's heart was that of a warrior. My dad had too much fear for him, Thorin had too little. He was of a rebellious and untamed nature with little to no ability for diplomacy and a stubbornness that could win over that of my grandfather and that's saying a lot."

Eilin remembered that night in Thranduil's halls. "I beg to differ on the diplomacy. I've seen him manoeuvring very methodically in his dealings with the elves."

Dis raised her hand. "Now he knows what he is doing, but it took a lot of effort from dad to tame his rough interior and teach him how to handle difficult situations. Add to that at least seventy years of being a commander of Erebor's army under Thror, and another hundred years of ruling his own halls in the Blue mountains. The result you see now has taken many years of training."

Eilin nodded, "I understand."

"I don't know which part of him I love the most. The majestic King that sits on the throne under the Arkenstone ruling with enviable ease one of the biggest strongholds of Middle Earth? The fierce warrior that has partaken in so many battles and has written his own history in golden letters? Or the Thorin that was chasing me through Dale in order to punch my face, because I pissed him off," Dis smiled sadly.

Eilin looked at her palms thoughtfully.

Dis shook her head, "I think I miss the old Thorin."

"He never left. He's just hiding, because everyone demands the majestic King out of him," Eilin said quietly.

Dis looked up sharply at that.

"I've seen him. I fell in love with him," Eilin whispered.

"He feels free to be himself with you. I find that so beautiful," Dis's eyes watered.

Eilin pressed her lips and nodded, "I do too."

Dis looked at the fireplace and sighed deeply, "you didn't sleep in your room last night did you?"

Eilin looked away embarrassed, but remained silent.

"The embers were dying in your fireplace. If you had slept here last night they would have still been burning strong." Dis explained.

Eilin's cheeks flushed red and she twisted her fingers around each other.

"You don't have to look thunderstruck. It's not as if I am not aware of your situation with my brother," Dis smiled.

Eilin looked up fleetingly and then averted her eyes again, "I don't know what to say."

"The truth. I am not here to chastise, but to help you," Dis rejoined thoughtfully.

"I didn't sleep here no," Eilin's voice was hushed.

Dis stippled her fingers on her lap and looked at them for a few long moments, where Eilin felt under deep scrutiny, "are you sure your stomach is not complaining by somethiing you ate?"

Eilin shook her head, "I am barely able to eat. That's why I feel so weak."

Dis nodded, "your breasts, are they sensitive to the touch?"

Eilin dropped her eyes to her lap and nodded, "yes."

"Did you get your blood this moon circle?" Dis looked up at her with a guarded look Eilin missed.

She frowned and bit her lower lip, "now that you mentioned it, no. I was expecting it a couple of days ago." She looked up worried, "you think I am very sick?"

"Is my brother aware of your state?"

"No, and I don't want to worry him. Please don't tell him anything, it will go away soon I hope," Eilin tittered.

Dis looked at Eilin thoughtfully, "How do I ask this without making you run for cover…" -she mumbled under her breath. It took her several moments to decide before she turned her steady gaze on the maiden- "have you become intimate with my brother?"

Eilin felt as if someone emptied a cold bucket of water on her head. She began shivering instantly and felt the blood draining from her face. She was unable to speak.

Dis grasped her cold hands tightly, "I am trying to help," she said softly.

Eilin felt her eyes welling and gave a small nod that could have easily been missed.

Dis pursed her lips, "he became impatient, didn't he?"

Eilin's heart ran to his defence faster than her mouth, "I became equally impatient my lady. Forgive us."

"How long ago?" Dis asked.

"More or less I think about two fortnights," Eilin muttered.

Dis withdrew her heavy stare and a ghostly smile came to her lips, "Oh Thorin, Thorin. He acted like a young dwarfing with no self control and there may be consequences to that."

Eilin frowned confused, "what do you mean my lady?"

"You should have waited until the matter was cleared with the lords and properly official," Dis said sternly.

"My lady forgive me," Eilin began crying.

Dis pulled her into a warm embrace, "not because I don't agree dear girl. I became intimate with my dear husband long before we got engaged and no one from my family knew. I became equally impatient as you, but this kind of intimacy might produce results that could have been postponed for a more appropriate time. Like after you were married."

Eilin was still unable to understand what Dis was telling her, "results?"

Dis sighed patiently, "not having your blood, feeling your breasts tender and being nauseous can possibly mean..."

Eilin spoke over her, "...that I am dying."

Dis laughed heartily then, "no dear girl, certainly not dying, but you are possibly pregnant."

Eilin felt as if someone slapped her so hard that she lost her breath. She inhaled sharply and her nails dug on Dis's forearms, "what?" She croaked.

"Assuming that he never made half love to you and that he planted his seeds…" Dis pulled back to look at her.

Eilin's eyes fell on her eagerly, "he loved me fully my lady, every time."

Dis nodded knowingly, "then his seeds may have blossomed."

Eilin felt her mouth numbing, "I am pregnant?"

"Possibly," Dis pursed her lips.

Eilin began trembling uncontrollably, "Oh Eru, help me…" she whispered and felt cold sweat running down her back.

Dis stood up and brought her over some tea, "drink some, before you faint and hold my hand. For heaven's sake you might be pregnant, not on a death sentence. Don't act like you are going to die on me. You won't be the first dwarrowdam falling pregnant from the man she loves, nor the last one believe me. Even though, I will be in heaven if you are carrying my niece or nephew in that flat stomach of yours."

Eilin looked petrified at Dis, "what if I am pregnant, what then?"

"Then you shall give birth to the heir to the throne of Erebor and surprise for all of us, they will be interracial." Dis didn't seem bothered at all.

Eilin paled.

Dis looked at her, "why do you seem scared out of your wits, when you should have been the happiest woman in the world?"

"I am afraid," Eilin tittered and her eyes filled with tears.

Dis held her hand, "what about?"

"That if I am pregnant I am going to either lose the baby, or him. That this will not end well. Nothing for me ever ends well," she felt utterly overwhelmed and began weeping.

"You will neither lose the baby or my brother. What is this nonsense you are talking about now?" She cradled Eilin that sobbed into her bosom.

"Whom would ever agree on having an interracial King on the throne my lady? No one…no one," Eilin cried.

"Me for one" -Dis smiled and Eilin looked up sharply- "my brother, my son, his comrades and most of the common people who are ready to accept the change Thorin's rulership is bringing to their lives. If it is the remaining lords that scare you, allow my brother to handle them. He is more than capable," she sounded so dead certain that Eilin's heart began settling down.

"You would accept such a King?" Eilin's voice sounded almost desperate.

"I would embrace my brother's children like my own. I would bow to their rule and feel blessed that my brother created life through true love."

Eilin began crying again, "thank you my lady…these words mean a lot to me…"

"Let's make sure you are pregnant first alright?

Eilin nodded unable to stop her constant sniffling.

"And let's shape you up, because if my brother sees you like this he is certainly going to suspect. We don't want to spoil the surprise for him, now do we?" Dis wiped away her tears.

"Do you think that he is going be happy?"

"Knowing what I know about my older brother and how much he loves children, he's going to go crazy when you tell him."

Eilin's mouth formed a ghostly smile.

"He raised my sons like his own. He also raised me and Frerin. He's got so much love to give and so much experience with children. You don't know how lucky you are to have this man by your side." Dis rejoined smugly.

Eilin nodded, "I am the luckiest woman on Middle Earth, I am just afraid that all this will end in tears and my luck will run out."

Dis shook her head, "now now. Everything is going to be okay. Now let's shape you up. You need to take a bath, change clothes and I will do your hair before we go out again. We don't want to scare him, or make him suspect anything until the barley gives us the answer, okay?"

Eilin nodded eagerly, "the what?"

"Barley or wheat. I'll ask Lis to bring you some roots. You need to pee on it. If it blossoms then you are pregnant. It will take a few days though," Dis stood up and went to the cupboard to pick up some clothes.

Eilin wiped away her face.

"Will you manage a straight face with him?"

Eilin cringed, "I hope so. Unless my nausea gets the best of me again."

"I'll tell him you have a turbulent stomach when I see him. Just to cover up that part of the story," Dis reassured her and came back with the clothes. "You should try to eat some of the honey-cake dear. You are still pale and look rather weak. You need nourishment."

Eilin clasped her hand, "thank you for everything you are doing for me my lady."

Dis tightened her grip, "I am here, worry not."

Eilin embraced her so unexpectedly that Dis was surprised. She wrapped her arms around the young red headed girl that had stolen her brother's heart and was possibly carrying his child and sighed in deep relief.

* * *

The same afternoon found Eilin at the shores of the River Running next to Loa, Lis and a couple of other ladies, washing clothes. After drinking the tea and eating some of the honey cake Lis brought her she felt much better. The support of the princess made her see her recent illness under a new light that made her stomach clench in both anxiety and anticipation. She both feared the results of the barley, and wanted them to be true. The thought that she might be carrying Thorin's child was both daunting and exciting. Why it never crossed her mind that having been this intimate with him could have resulted in some kind of pregnancy was beyond her ability to understand. The shock when Dis spoke of that possibility had felt like a backslap on her face at first, but now a few hours later, while she had the opportunity to get some sleep, some food and some time to think, it felt more and more exciting.

She stopped thinking of those small nuances as a sickness and began seeing them as something truly magnificent and difficult to absorb. Still the more she thought of it, the more she wanted to go in Erebor and search for him. Find him whenever he was hiding in whatever serious meeting was taking up his time and then tell him about the barley test and all the amazing possibilities that could come from that. She wanted to share her timid happiness, nervousness and anticipation, but Dis told her to say nothing until they knew for certain. So she pressed her lips annoyed and suppressed her need to find him.

She knelt silently next to Loa, listening to her talking about the quality of these expensive clothes, some of which were Thorin's, and gulping down all the words she wanted to spit to the world about what was probably in her belly. At least she wasn't feeling nauseous anymore. She rubbed fiercely one of Thorin's maroon tunics and decided to try and find him later at night in his rooms when he'd be free of all his overwhelming obligations. Then maybe they could make love and sleep in his warm bed with his arm resting above her belly protectively. She was so blessedly overwhelmed by these beautiful thoughts that she didn't hear his heavy boots stopping next to her.

"My Lord," the respectful voice of Loa made her look up.

"My Lord," she repeated with the same tone of respect, but her eyes shown brightly up at him.

He gave her a coy smile, before turning his attention at Loa. "Were we in such dire need of clean clothes that you had to bring the child out here in this heavy weather?"

"We needed to take care of the cleaning my Lord and the water that comes out of the mouth of the mountain is still rather warm." Loa bowed, "besides Lis is not bothered by the cold so much"

Lis beamed up at the King, "I am not cold sir."

Thorin raised his brow thoughtfully, "I just came down from the ramparts. There is a snow storm coming, take the child inside and resume your chores in the cleaning stations there."

"Very well sir, allow us to rinse the ones we've been cleaning and we are going. Thank you for thinking about Lis," Loa said with a respectful bow.

"I ordered them to come out here," Eilin winced regretfully at him.

"As for you," he raised his brow and came down to one knee next to her. His voice became a whisper, "why did you come out here in your condition?"

"Condition?" she whispered back confused.

"My sister spoke to me," he tilted his head.

Eilin felt the blood draining from her face, "wh-what did she say?" her tongue tripped on the words.

"That you've been having a sore stomach and you needed some care and attention. Which is not what's happening out here in the cold," he said sternly.

She sighed a whole bout of unease, "ah, no, I feel fine now."

He raised his brow.

"I honestly feel much better. Must have been something I ate," she shook her head with a soft smile.

He pressed his lips and his hand landed above hers as she was holding his wet maroon tunic, "Is this mine?" he looked down.

She nodded, "of course."

"I don't want you doing my laundry..."

She whispered over him, ."..it's my job."

"..especially when you are sick," -he overlapped her. They looked at each other silently and he was the first one to smile- "you have Loa to help you now. Let her take care of the laundry. You are coming with me." His hand released the tunic from her fingers and pulled her up.

"Where to?" she said as he stippled his fingers through hers and pulled her a few steps away from Loa, Lis and the other women.

"In my rooms," he raised his brow.

She blushed and lowered her eyes, "oh..."

"We are going to eat a nice supper, warm your weary bones and I will play you some music" -he tilted his head- "don't get any ideas into that pretty little head of yours. Tonight I am here to make sure you rest well and recover. Not throw you in bed."

"Who told you that throwing me in bed, won't help me recover?" she grinned.

He pursed his lips, "be serious young lady."

She looked at their stippled fingers, "look who's chastising me about seriousness. You've caught my hand in front of Loa, her daughter and several other women," she whispered and her eyes indicated at the group behind her.

"Oh, did I?" he frowned and looked down at their hands.

She pulled back her hand quickly, "you didn't realise, did you?" she sounded disheartened.

He reached out and clasped it again, but didn't stop there. This time he cupped her cheek and drew her in, "on the contrary, I realised very well what I was doing, so don't go around messing it up for me."

Her mouth dropped open.

He pulled her in by the cheek and enfolded her into his arms, "perfect."

"You are embracing me in front of everyone," she whispered, but her arms came under his armpits quickly, wanting to embrace him badly.

"So are you," he reminded her and settled his cheek on the top of her head shamelessly.

That is when Loa's voice was heard, "come child, pick them up. And you ladies, off we go, further up, inside the gates where the water is warm and the air is too. You, young lady close that gaping mouth, avert your eyes now and follow me!" her voice turned commanding.

Eilin snorted and hid her face into the folds of his fur lapels as she heard their footsteps walking away. His arms tightened around her. When it was silent again she spoke, "did Loa just chastised one of them for looking at us?"

He nodded, "woman handled it very well. I am glad she's at your service."

Eilin's hands caressed his shoulder blades, "Thank you for coming out here for me today."

"I wish I could have come earlier," he reassured her.

"Thorin believe me, I feel much better now."

His fingers skimmed across her stomach, "this is were it hurts you?" his voice held such a soft caring tone, that she felt her heart beaming.

"No my love," she whispered and enfolded the back of his hand. Slowly she led him down, to her lower belly, "here."

He kissed her forehead and caressed her nape protectively, "is that better now?" he spoke in a hushed tone as his large palm burrowed under the folds of her coat and tried to warm up the place that could be carrying his child, without his knowledge.

She felt her eyes welling and flushed her cheek against his wide chest. "Yes, much better my love," she whispered and her hand came over his.

They remained immovable, enclosed in each other's arms, under the heavy snow, both warming up her lower belly, until he convinced her that it was time to go inside. He led her discreetly to his rooms, where he forced her to change into her nightgown. He gave her one of his warm mantles and went himself down at the kitchens to see if Loa had prepared any dinner. He brought some up for both, and after they ate and talked until the bells of Erebor gave the final call for the night he sat in front of his harp. She snuggled next to the fire with her knees under her chin, feeling mesmerised by his amazing ability to create such angelic music. The good food and drink, the warmth of the fire and the beautiful music were a good combination to make her eyes droop heavily.

Soon enough she was sleeping. He picked her up and tucked her under the heavy fur blankets, making sure the fire was blazing and the windows were tightly sealed to keep the cold out. Then he sat at the armchair in front of the fire to enjoy his own drink for a while, before getting into the bed next to her. Sleep found him quickly, even though his mind was overburdened by the answers that the six lords were demanding for the rumours concerning him and Eilin.


	38. Trust in me

 

* * *

It was three days later during the dead of night and Karunn was delighting at Rhiannon's bold descriptions of Eilin's naked body as she led her carriage carefully through the dark winding roads close to Rhudaur, searching for a bridge to cross over the river. She didn't want to pass close to Rivendell and risk being captured by those meddling elves. They'd find a way to get her identity and then contact her relatives in the Iron Hills or even worse maybe speak directly with Erebor.

As they traversed on the outskirts of the forest and were about to pass one of the quiet villages that was sleeping, Karunn asked Rhiannon for more proof of her acquaintance with Eilin. The baby belt was enough, but a few personal details could go a long way. Poor Rhiannon was so eager to please the dwarrowdam that rescued her from that brothel that she began spewing everything she remembered about Eilin, which was a lot. Since they were not only sharing a room, but also the common showers she had a lot of details to offer Karunn who feigned her excitement at those accurate descriptions. Reassuring Rhiannon that she believed her honesty since she had seen Eilin naked also in the royal hot springs.

Enthused so much was Rhiannon in her conversation with this elegant and knowledgeable dwarrowdam that she didn't notice three dirty and wild looking men following them quietly, using the thick foliage of the forest around to hide. So eager was Rhiannon to please Karunn with her knowledge about Eilin and so keen she was to see her old friend at all her glory in the Lonely Mountain that she didn't even hear them overtaking the carriage and climbing on it.

The strong punch delivered on the side of her face was the only thing that drew her out of the trance the wicked Karunn had placed her in. Three of her front teeth got knocked off and she grabbed her mouth in pain as she fell violently down and banged her head at the inside of the carriage. Then a rough looking knife pressed on Karunn's throat and a hand came around her waist, "don't utter a word little princess or I will cut your tongue out and make your servant swallow it."

"I will not," she muttered.

Rhiannon's scared eyes, suddenly turned wild and she pushed the man that was pointing an arrow at her head so hard that he almost toppled off the carriage. Then she grabbed the man that had the knife on Karunn's throat and yelled wildly, "let her go you bastard or I will eat your heart out! Let her go!"

Karunn closed her eyes and hissed as she felt the knife pressing a little too hard on her skin, but the struggle behind her didn't take long. A third man grabbed Rhiannon by the waist. Emptied her onto the back of the carriage, kneeled on top of her stomach and brought his knife just inches from her throat, "stand down you dirty old rat!" He grumbled.

The man that held Karunn laughed, "I don't want to take up your time, or mine. Tell me which boxes contain the valuables and I'll let you and that sickness smelling troll go."

Karunn almost gagged from the pressure, "if I tell you, what will stop you from killing me after you have my gold?"

"What stops me now from doing so and then ransacking your carriage?" The man rejoined and slid the knife down the side of her neck.

She heaved, "the two chests on the back that are covered with my mantle. They have some gold pieces, but they are not much."

The man gestured to his comrade to go check, "even a spit of gold in these forsaken lands is valuable."

Karunn nodded, "take all of them, but let me go."

"We'll need something more than gold in order to do that," the man smiled on her back.

"Like what?" She frowned.

"a few of moments of pleasure," the man drawled.

Rhiannon began sobbing, "don't touch her! Don't you dare touch her!"

He turned to her, "I am not into women with sideburns, but neither am I into women with rotten teeth. Maybe I can kill you, cut your head off, stick it on her shoulders and have my way with her body."

Karunn shuddered, "Let me go and I will lead you to a place where gold runs in rivers."

The man paused, "what?"

"I will lead you back to Erebor. You can have all the gold you want in there," Karunn said eagerly.

All the men laughed in unison, "so we should storm one of the biggest dwarven strongholds of Middle Earth? Oakenshield is on the throne there now, ain't he? one of the butchers of Azanulbizar. The one that demised the pale orc, right? Are you joking little princess?"

One of his comrades nodded, "I say fuck Erebor. I say kill them both and take the gold!"

Karunn shook her head, "I don't mean go in and steal the gold. You are not equipped to go against hoards of angry dwarves. No one is. Not even the best trained warriors. Not even the elves…"

"Enough!" He pressed the knife deep into her skin.

"I will go to the treasury and bring you gold. As much as I can carry. Just let me go," she panted and wrapped her small hands around the man's forearm. She felt the hesitation. "If it is gold you seek, I can bring it to you. If it is blood you seek then kill her," she nodded at Rhiannon.

The poor girl tried to get away from her captor, "no my lady, what are you telling him?"

"Kill her, get rid of her and we can sort everything out between us!" Karunn's eyes suddenly became cold and dark.

The man weighed her words carefully for a few moments and then nodded at his comrade. The man lifted his sword to strike down Rhiannon, but in a sudden burst of adrenaline she kicked him in the balls. He howled and doubled down. Before the other man had time to return from ransacking the boxes, Rhiannon had jumped onto the muddy road and sprang off to the dense forest around them. Her bare feet slipped on the ground, she fell down and screamed as one of the thieves made to grab her. She was quick enough to escape his hands and in the end much faster than him. He chased her into the woods for several breathtaking moments, before returning totally out of breath with his head shaking, "I lost the damned bitch."

"Idiot" the man that was holding Karunn said and released her.

She coughed and shook her head, "you were too fervent in your quest Alf and dangerously unpredictable."

"You told me to be convincing," the man cleared his knife and sat next to her in the carriage, "didn't pay me enough to become more brutal with her. I could have," his eyes gleamed.

"I didn't need you to stage this bloody attack, I needed you to kill her and you failed," she chastised him and straightened her heavy coat.

"I wanted to see the fear gleaming in your eyes. Besides what's keeping you from lying to me about the treasure you promised?" Alf said and then nodded at his comrade to climb the carriage.

"I am not lying. You will escort me safely back to Erebor and I will deliver what I promised, only if you manage to bring me back her dead body. I didn't expect to have my life threatened and moreover to be forced to tell you to get rid of her. You were supposed to do it silently." She raised her brow coldly.

Alf pursed his lips angrily.

"Now not only did that dirty bitch escape, she might also live to tell the tale to your much feared butcher of Azanulbizar. Then he along with his hoards will come after me and subsequently after you!" Karunn's eyes spewed fire.

Alf's jawline flexed.

"You failed to deliver what we have bargained silently and effectively. I have a witness loose that will try to make her way back to Erebor. A witness that knows who betrayed her. Now either you bring me her dead body, or our deal is off and don't even think of getting rid of me. My kin will find a way to trace everything back to you. Don't ever underestimate the wrath and persistence of a dwarven clan."

"Harry, Perry, go into the forest and dig that rat out. You'll smell her off miles. Find her and kill her. We'll meet at the last dwarven bridge before entering the passage through Mirkwood. We'll wait there," Alf said and leaned back on the seat looking pissed off.

Karunn raised her brow, "if they come back with her body, I will double your reward."

Alf gave her a careful nod, "lead the way on princess. I cannot wait to get my hands on what your promised."

Karunn looked at the forest thoughtfully, "She's so weak that she will probably die from an animal attack or starvation long before your friends get her, but I want to have her dead body in my hands."

He flicked his shoulder, "they will get her worry not and to make things clear what happened before was not just a show. I won't hesitate to kill you, if you don't deliver the goods."

"And I will have you killed if you don't behave. I employed you remember that and I have all the Ironhills behind me. Don't play around with my family, it won't get you anywhere good. You are just a low life nobody, that lurks into the gutter. Now you have a chance to rise above your pit and see the light. Don't ruin it by acting like you are controlling this game, because you are not. I want your men to bring back Rhiannon's body and you to protect me and my carriage up to Erebor. When you deliver you will get paid and then you will vanish from my eyes. If I get harmed before we reach out destination, you will get nothing and you will be hunted by my kin. You wouldn't want that would you?"

The man straightened and took the reigns from her hands. He jaw flexed, "no," he admitted with a deadly glare in his eyes.

"So is the new plan clear to you?" Karunn smiled and buried her chin into her fur lapels satisfied that she had complete control over these low scums.

"Yeah," he clicked his tongue against his teeth angrily and began leading the carriage away.

* * *

Six days later as Karunn was approaching Erebor, Eilin was hiding in her bedroom looking over at her potted barely as if it's small blooms held all the mysteries of the undying lands. She was admiring the few small yellow tips that had popped up from the top of it's stem like a bloody idiot. It was Dis's persistent knocking at the door that animated her. When the princess saw the results on the grass, she wasn't as confounded or lost as Eilin. She laughed and embraced her with a warmth that made Eilin cry.

The princess asked her why she was crying, but Eilin found it impossible to reveal her innermost thoughts. She had never expected her body to be capable of creating such a miracle and more so with a man she adored. She couldn't find herself worthy enough to be carrying Thorin's children and she was apprehensive of his reaction. So afraid in fact that she didn't want to tell him anything yet.

"What are you so afraid off?" Dis's question made Eilin deeply thoughtful.

What was it that scared her so much? Thorin had embraced her with so much affection, acceptance, care and love that she had really had nothing to worry about. Undoubtedly he would embrace her pregnancy with the same zest. Dis reassured Eilin that her brother would go off the wall by learning that he was going to be a father. He had reacted with equal ardour when he learned about Dis's pregnancies and he was a fool for children. Dis proposed that they told him the amazing news together.

Eilin persistent refusal confused Dis even more. Eilin explained that she needed time to deliver the news. Dis understood that part of Eilin's reluctance derived from the fact that her brother hadn't officially asked to wed her. Yes, they may have gotten unofficially engaged, but that was behind closed doors. Eilin was afraid of the city's reaction to their private situation and in consequence Thorin's reaction to her pregnancy. Everything was so fragile at the moment.

The princess allowed Eilin to take the day off and rest as much as her body wanted and decided to go and face her brother about all this, without betraying Eilin's most beautiful secret or her trust. The situation between Thorin and Eilin had gone too far. He needed to stand up for her and take responsibility. Dis marched up to his office, not knowing that he had just left a rather demanding meeting with the six family lords. A meeting that had brought up the case of his maiden and the rumours about them more than once. So when she entered to find a brooding Balin, a dejected Dwalin and an weary Thorin she paused.

"Tell me this isn't a good time, because I came to discuss something very important," she said solemnly.

"This isn't a good time," Thorin said flatly.

"What happened?" She looked at the other men.

"Trouble in paradise. What do you think happened my lady? His fragile situation with Eilin has taken a toll on his relationship with the family lords. The feast that precedes his coronation is coming soon and the mood is not festive but rather bleak. He has allowed his private matters to run rampant and now he has to find a way to fix everything," Balin said sternly.

"Enough Balin," Thorin's annoyed voice stopped his advisor that leaned back to his desk broodily.

"Should I come back later?" Dis was worried about her brother. He looked at the end of his tether and the news of Eilin's pregnancy needed a composed Thorin. Maybe the maiden's decision to delay delivering the news was wise beyond Dis's original recognition.

He looked up at her, "No Dis, remain. You Balin, out!"

Dwalin stood up also, even though Thorin hadn't addressed him and escorted his brother out of the office. When the door closed Dis felt the need to cross her arms protectively across her chest, "you don't look good my love."

"I don't feel good. The bloody Arkenstone is back in place and now they've got something else to complain about. Now I understand Thror's hesitation in uniting the seven families. Too many stubborn heads at one round table, cannot produce a positive result. Only in the heat of battle defending one another can we cooperate without causing trouble to each other," he sounded truly spent.

She approached his desk, "the trouble they are causing you now is because of Eilin?"

"The rumours about us, yes"

"I don't want to sound like Balin, but you have fed those rumours by acting intimately with her everywhere, but right up to their faces," she raised her brow.

"Did you come here to chastise me? I don't need that," he averted his eyes from her dismissively.

"On the contrary I am here to help you. Didn't you feed those rumours will full awareness of how provocative your actions were?"

"Yes," he replied angrily.

"Then reveal the damned truth to them, like you did with us that day of the furnace accident and let's get this over and done with!" She rejoined.

"You make it sound so easy." He raised his brow impatiently.

"Why not? What are you afraid off? What can they hold on you?" She reciprocated the gaze.

"They will not pledge their swords to the allegiance. All my effort would have been for naught," he sounded discouraged.

"Why for naught? Haven't you reclaimed this mountain for our people?"

He looked up.

"Won't you accept anyone to relocate here no matter the name of their family?" She continued.

"Of course"

"Won't Erebor be open to everyone?"

"Yes"

"Then why for naught? You claimed one the biggest dwarven strongholds and you shall make it flourish, like you did with your halls in the Blue Mountains. You will be the only King apart from Durin to rule more than a hundred years! If the other families don't want to unite under you, then so be it. We'll survive, won't we?" She smiled.

A small gleam of amusement appeared in his eyes, "nothing gets you down, does it?"

"Do you find a fault in my thinking?"

"No."

"Will Erebor collapse if the six lords don't unite under you?"

He shook his head with a side smile.

"They will take back their armies, so what? Some soldiers might choose to remain. We shall rebuild a new army from the thousands of families that are arriving every single week. Fili informed me the majority of the Blue Mountains is already being evacuated. Your army of tens of thousands is already marching back to Erebor. You don't need the six lords for anything and they don't need you. They have their own halls to rule, so let them do that."

"The whole point was to make our kin great again under one rule Dis," he looked at her imperatively.

"Our kin shall always be great no matter if we are under one King, or divided into seven smaller parts. Whenever the need arises our kin will always come together as one to fight a common enemy," Dis said proudly.

"That is true," he agreed.

"Then free yourself from their grip. Admit your engagement to the poor girl who loves you so much she can barely see straight and claim the life you've always deserved!" Dis said with such fervour that Thorin was taken aback.

"Just throw Thror's and Thrain's dream to unite the seven families out the window?" He frowned.

"yes, why not? Many things are at stake!" Dis sounded waspish.

He shook his head, "I will not throw away the opportunity to unite the families Dis. I need to give this another chance."

"So are you going to give up on Eilin then?" She frowned unable to believe what she was hearing.

"No," he looked at her deeply puzzled.

"Then how is this going to work? Will they accept your rule with Eilin by your side?"

"I won't have the chance to find out, unless I force them into action as you so wisely suggested," he leaned his chin on his crossed hands thoughtfully.

"I see wheels turning inside that brilliant mind of yours and I don't know what it is you are planning, but I have to warn you about Eilin," she said.

"Warn me?" He frowned.

"Don't give up on her brother, because you are going to destroy her," her eyes welled.

"I shall not. What's gotten into you all of a sudden?" He looked back at her truly mystified.

"Tell me, if it comes down to the unity of the seven families or Eilin, what will you choose?" She said fervently.

His eyes became coldly calculative, "that's not a fair question."

"It is a question that you will probably have to answer soon enough," she warned him.

He sighed and his eyes darkened, "if it comes down to the Longbeard rule of Erebor and the unison of the seven families, or Eilin... I shall have all!"

Dis pulled back confused, "how will you manage to convince them of your choices. How will you enforce their collective agreement?"

"I won't have to," he said and raised his brow, but he didn't clarify what he was planning to do further.

"Thorin you are confusing me to no end," she crossed her arms once more.

"I am answering your questions. The rule of Erebor under the Longbeards is unshaken. Truth is the unison of the seven families is still unstable, but I will try to make it happen under our rule! As for Eilin…I shall not let her down," his deep conviction blew a breath of fresh air over her doubts.

A deep sigh escaped her as she observed his solemn countenance, "You seem to know more than you are letting on."

"I most certainly do. That's my job," he offered her a lopsided smile.

"But you are worried…" she rejoined.

"Of course I am, who wouldn't be? The burden that's pulling me under now is heavier than it has ever been in my entire life!" He said and for the first time Dis saw real emotion behind his controlled features and he still had no idea how serious things were with his woman. If Eilin's tender condition was added onto his shoulders now that everything was so volatile, no one would be able to predict his reactions. Erebor didn't need a ruler that would act upon instinct. She preferred the calculative Thorin she saw a moment ago, even though she had no idea what gears were turning inside his head.

"You have really tough decisions in front of you wolf. The crown of the Mountain or the love of your life. Poor sweetheart, you've never had to face such dilemmas before," she said gently and rounded his table. Her hands fell on his stiff shoulders and she leaned her cheek on the top of his head.

He blanched and his lips turned down, feeling annoyed by the irony of this conversation. "No, never gerbil."

"Please please don't betray Eilin," she said and suddenly her arms tightened around his neck.

He frowned, "you told me once and I reassured you that this is out of the question. Is there something that I need to know that makes you so emotional towards all this?"

She felt her stomach clenching in fear. She knew how clever her brother was and she didn't want to betray Eilin's trust. Not even by mistake. "I know how to appreciate loyalty. You are lucky this girl accepted your advances."

His brow rose lively and a frisky smile appeared on his lips.

"What? You expected me to say the opposite just because you are my brother?" she grinned at him.

"I don't know," he patted her forearm.

"Fine, she's also lucky to have you." Dis rejoined.

He leaned his head back to her and relaxed. "I know of Eilin's qualities and I love her deeply. I shall not betray her. Rest your worries little sis."

Dis exhaled in relief, "You don't know how much I want to raise your children as my own, like you have done with my sons. I hope the great Vala Aule will bless you and this beautiful young lady with offsprings soon."

His body unwilling tensed and she felt it, "that may not be as easy as you think," he retorted heavily. The change in the tone of his voice was palpable.

She caressed his temple. "Or maybe it is much easier than you think," she rejoined.

"Enough sis," he said and pushed her away.

Instead of receiving the last comment of hers with the merry energy that she had offered it, he suddenly became tense and distant. That made her frown to his back. She wanted to ask why he had reacted in this manner, without allowing him to suspect anything about Eilin's condition. If she continued down the path she had taken with him today, he would easily figure it out sooner rather than later though.

She sighed and decided to give him the space he required. "I think I'll leave you to your conniving schemes about our city wolf. I have to prepare for the great feast."

"Tell Fili to come here if you see him," he opened up several scrolls on the table and pulled back in order to see better.

She snorted, "you look like dad when he lost his ability to read up close."

He looked up, "that's old age for me. Now go," he pointed at the door.

"Fili says you are overworking him," she said in an afterthought.

"Boy is the heir to the throne you admire so much. He has a lot to learn. I won't stop taxing him, until I am satisfied with how well he can take the heat for it," he raised his brow.

She smiled sweetly at him, "Do whatever you judge best."

"Fili can hold his own, but he needs to learn a thing or two before he's thrown into the deep end of the river," he said with a thoughtful look that made Dis frown once more.

"Why do I feel that you've got plans for him, that he doesn't yet know?" she raised her brow.

"Because I do."

She grinned, "will you tell his mother?"

"Of course I won't," he rejoined with a side smile, without raising his gaze from the scrolls.

"I will let him know that you need him and whenever you need to talk, reach out for wolf, alright?" she offered him a sweet and honest smile.

He reciprocated, "thank you gerbil."

She nodded and closed the door behind, leaving him to muse on his scrolls and their conversation for a long time. The thoughts came and left as fast as lighting setting his mind on fire. His fatigue at the end caused all those thoughts to start overlapping and he knew that after a point he was not being productive towards the solution he was seeking. When Fili came in, he opened up every map of the residential areas, the mines, the working stations, the trading centres, the central areas of the common gatherings, the secret exits that only Thror's maps had and he showed him the keys that belonged to those exits.

He explained the runes of the Elders upon those maps and how they were supposed to be used in order to open them up. He presented him a map of the treasury and told him where he could find the trap doors that released the gold of the upper floors into the deep caverns underneath if the need arose to hide it, but warned him that emptying the treasury would be a task that would take time. He found the ancient maps of the waters works that had been dug into the very stones of Erebor, and the vents that led to the top of the mountain.

He explained to Fili which landmarks to look for in order to locate them out in the wilderness. Trees that had a rune carved on their barks were always next to a secret vent. He gave the poor young prince all those maps and scrolls to study, along with a large pack of papers that explained the laws of the four residential caverns and how they were supposed to be ruled by their elected lords. After inquiring Fili about the royal guards he was satisfied that he had given the boy enough homework to occupy him for the next fortnight. He dismissed Fili with a warning that in a couple of days he was going to come back and give a detailed description of how Erebor operated, inside out.

Fili left quite disheartened balancing precariously the scrolls under his armpits, against his chest and even between his legs.

* * *

It was close to afternoon when Thorin decided to go search for Eilin. She was nowhere to be found. Not in his rooms or hers, not in the kitchens and not with Dis who instantly panicked when she learned the girl was missing. She grabbed his arm, making him promise to find her soon. He left feeling rather suspicious of Dis. He felt as if she knew something that he didn't and that annoyed him. When he reached the King's Halls he stood in the middle of it, trying to understand where Eilin could have gone in this heavy weather and why she left without notifying anyone. It wasn't as if they parted in the morning in a bad mood. They slept together at night and when he woke up he kissed her goodbye before he went to attend the meeting with the six family lords.

Roac's caw echoed in the enclosed tall ceilings of Erebor as the black bird flew between many surprised people and found Thorin. He landed on his shoulder and Thorin turned to the master of the crows. "Find Eilin," he whispered and the bird cawed once more and flew away from him.

"Good evening."

Thorin turned around, slightly taken aback. "Good evening."

Servin pressed his lips, "are you busy?"

"I am always busy," Thorin rejoined feeling rather distracted.

"I want to have a word with you," Servin said and crossed his arms.

Thorin noticed his lofty bearing and frowned, "Our words in the meeting today weren't enough?"

"Not by far," Servin sounded casual enough, but Thorin already knew were this was going. He had witnessed Servin's negativity at the meeting. He was the one causing the most trouble for him from day one.

He nodded and pursed his lips, "you want to talk about me and the maiden. Again."

Servin was taken aback by Thorin's straightforward approach and was unable to hide it, "well, yes."

Thorin raised a hand at him, "be my guest."

Servin crossed his arms, "you must understand that this revelation about your personal life does not stand well with me. Especially after I learned how you dishonoured my sister. I didn't want to expose you in front of the other lords, but this must be addressed between us and solved in a satisfactory manner."

"What happened with your beloved sister took place a hundred and fifty years ago, don't act like it happened yesterday," Thorin's sudden shift of attitude shocked Servin once again. He had been expecting Thorin to be as condescending and regretful as he had been at the burial grounds. He certainly didn't expect such direct aggression.

"Nevertheless it shows a pattern in your attitude..." Servin raised his brow.

"A pattern?" Thorin spoke over him.

"You hide your affairs with various women. You are not acting honourably towards them in front of your Kingdom." Servin began, but Thorin didn't allow him the time to continue.

"Affairs? with women?" his eyes thinned.

"My sister being one and this maiden being another..." Servin rejoined.

"Who else?" Thorin's jaw flexed.

"What?"

"You said various women, so go ahead," Thorin took a step closer and came up to his face. He was so angry already with what was happening with the high lords that he was one step from exploding into Servin's face and this time the memory of Siv was not there to keep him at bay. This was a completely different story he was being accused off.

"I can only suppose..." Servin looked at around searching to find words to rebuke a very angry looking Thorin.

"You suppose?...speak of the women I dishonoured apart from your beloved sister," Thorin hissed in a low threatening tone.

Servin shook his head, "I don't know..."

"None, because there are none!" Thorin's rich voice echoed in the King's hall drawing the attention of many people. One of them was Bilbo who stood further back and crossed his arms.

"Yet this situation with your maiden is not much different with what had taken place with Siv..." Servin was beginning to lose his composure against Thorin's steely reaction. He reached out and grabbed Thorin's forearm, "you are not giving out positive vibes as to your ethics Thorin..."

Thorin looked down at his hand and the air froze around them. "Remove your hand, unless you want this to end nastily," his nose flared.

"You said you'd never raise a sword against me. I am worried because I fear that what happened with my sister will be repeated. I don't want to give my allegiance to a King that repeats such follies," Servin's jawline tightened and so did his hand.

Thorin's iron grip came out and clasped him so hard and so suddenly that Servin instantly released him. He pulled the surprised dwarf up to his face. "What I did to your sister was dishonourable, but I loved her to death and the decision to abandon her cost me more than you will ever be able to understand. I thought I cleared up all that with you already. I'd never raise a sword against you, concerning the matter of your sister, but that is were your privilege ends. What is happening in my personal life shall be addressed soon and you shall all have your answers about my ethics. Do not dare compare what happened with your sister so long ago to what is taking place now in my house! Your power over me is limited to your beloved sister, is that clear? For everything else you are on equal level to the remaining high lords, which for the time being means that you stand lower than me! You will have to wait for my official answers about what concerns my household like all the others. You shall not dare bring back the issue of your sister in order to manipulate my current situation to your liking. You shall not dare raise your hand on me again unless you want us to go head to head and you will fix your tone towards me. Is that understood?!" his voice was so authoritative and haughty that Servin took a couple of steps back and blanched.

He remained silent.

Thorin squared his shoulders. "For whatever concerns your sister I am at your disposal. For the worries about my personal affairs take a step back and get in line. There are many expecting answers and you won't be the one to have them first." Thorin's rich voice made Servin take another step back. He raised his brow at Servin waiting for a comeback.

It never came. The reaction of the King was unexpected and so severely assertive that he allowed no opportunities for Servin to strike back. Siv's brother felt deeply worried, but above all unnerved by this version of the Mountain King, that he hadn't been anticipating.

Thorin tilted his head majestically and walked out of the King's hall. When he exited from the gates his anger was boiling to the point of explosion. He stood there with his hands on his heavy belt, trying to calm down from his showdown with Servin, when Bilbo's quiet voice made him close his eyes with a wave of relief.

"Weather is getting awful. In Hobbiton we never have such blizzards," the hobbit came next to him.

Thorin inhaled deeply, "it's the north my dear Bilbo. What did you expect?"

Bilbo's mouth played with a smile, "the north indeed. Blizzards inside and out of the mountain."

Thorin raised his brow, "sometimes the weather gets tremulous. We have to deal with it."

"Are those blizzards becoming too much for you?"

Thorin felt his shoulders relaxing if only fractionally, "I am used to them."

"Have you always been living inside a bloody storm?" Bilbo looked at him.

Thorin pressed his lips and nodded, "since birth."

"You really need a break. You barely had the time to recover and look what you have gotten yourself into," Bilbo smiled up at him, "you have a knack for making your life hard, don't you?"

Thorin smiled sadly, "I think I do."

"I am getting ready to leave soon, but I won't stop reminding you. I will be expecting you in Hobbiton at spring," he raised his finger, "the weather down there is mild and so are the people. We don't have the fiery blood of the dwarves in us. We seek peace and quiet. I think spending a few days in Bag end will do you a world of good."

Thorin crossed his arms and his eyes looked at Roac that was flying towards them, "dear Bilbo, I promise to come. I don't know when, but I will come."

Bilbo grinned, "that's enough for me."

Roac landed on Thorin's shoulder and whispered a few words to his ear. Thorin turned to his friend, "I've got to go. See you later master Burglar and thank you for giving me a little taste of the mild weather of Hobbiton."

Bilbo smiled widely, "don't mention it. Take care out there."

Thorin smiled at him and walked towards the stables.

* * *

Half an hour later found him riding up to Ravenhill through the heavy snowfall. When he dismounted at the gates he followed Roac that was cawing endlessly above a summit of the hill that overlooked part of the valley. He found Eilin standing like an ancient statue at the same place that she had found him the night that he was searching for Kili's bow. His arm came round her stomach and he pulled her back to him.

"Hey there pretty lady," he whispered softly into her ear.

Her nails clawed his forearm shield and she leaned her head back to his chest, "hey handsome. What are you doing up here?"

"Came for you. What are you doing out in this heavy weather? the snowstorm has not yet abated," he enfolded her to his body and she used that chance to steal some of his warmth.

She snuggled between the fur lapels of his coat, "I wanted some time away from Erebor to think."

"About what?"

"Things I am not ready to reveal yet my love," she frowned.

"Those words worry me," he rejoined feeling troubled. There was something strange going on with Eilin lately. Something he couldn't put his finger on.

"Can you please allow me the time? I will talk to you when I am ready," she said and tightened her hands around his forearms.

"Now I am worried even more," a cold hand squeezed his stomach.

She pulled back and turned around to face him. She needed to look at his eyes. Her small hand touched his nape and pulled him down until her lips skimmed over his, "I love you, does that make everything better?"

He smiled and gave her a firm kiss that send a strong wave of goosebumps travelling through her skin. "It does, but all this secrecy between us is still worrying."

"Please trust me, and trust in my love for you," she said and her lips moved slightly above his for a few moments before she opened her mouth to deepen the kiss, lighting up a fire for both him and her equally.

When he pulled back his brain was already foggy and his body more awake than he had bargained, "why did you come here to think? what's so important about this place?"

She smiled thoughtfully, "it's where I found you, remember?"

He nodded and his arms pulled her in protectively, "I do."

"It was the first time that I realised that I had feelings for you," -she whispered- "feelings that were much deeper than daydreaming over my drawings of an elusive King at the other side of the world when I was younger."

He smiled silently, "you made drawings of me?"

She nodded and played with the buckle of his sword seethe, "I did. Not one, but many. Left them at the tavern. I don't expect any to have remained intact. They probably threw them in the trash the moment I left."

"Why do I find all this immensely endearing?" his long fingers nuzzled under her ear lobe.

She bit her lower lip and gazed at him with an affection that touched him deeply, "Not easy to admit to such a thing."

He drew her gently up until his lips touched hers in a tender kiss that made her stomach fill with butterflies, "I bet."

When she pulled back she hesitated for several long moments. "This is where you died, isn't it?" her eyes turned dark.

"Yes," his lips turned down.

"Did it happen here?" she looked where they were standing.

"No."

"Show me where you took your last breath. I want to see it," her eyes welled suddenly.

He pulled back and looked at her eyes solemnly. His palm cupped her jawline and his forefinger caressed her bottom lip, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Please," her eyes looked beseechingly at him.

He nodded thoughtfully and clasped her hand, "follow me." He walked her through the various corridors, over the ruins of war until they exited the side gates. Then he led her over the frozen river and stood at the precipice of the waterfall. His eyes fell on the rusty colour of his spilled blood embedded into the upper layers of the ice. Come spring it would wash away with the remaining painful memories of this battle.

She spoke in a hushed voice, "Tell me this isn't your blood."

"I don't remember well, but I think it is."

She cupped her mouth and felt her eyes overflowing with tears.

He looked at her and his heart broke. He drew her face gently away from the stain and pointed towards the valley, "I remember seeing the eagles flying over our reclaimed homeland. That is the only clear memory from that day."

"Was it painful?"

He frowned, "I think I have lived through more painful experiences in my lifetime Eilin. This was a battle of honour. This was fought for my forefathers and I wanted it to end in fire and blood. My blood, his blood, it mattered little," he said thoughtfully.

"The heart of a warrior," Eilin whispered remembering Dis's words.

He looked at her fleetingly, "I avenged my fallen forefathers and took the life of the beast that slew them. After that I could rest in peace. My part in this world was done. Our homeland was back in the hands of Durin's folk and our foes were dead."

She looked at him with immense dedication. "Do you think that it was fate that brought you back to life?"

Amusement wavered in his features, "I'd say it was more the doing of a certain grey wizard I don't like so much."

She shook her head, "I think it was fate Thorin."

He sobered up and frowned.

She felt her eyes welling up again, "if you had remained dead above this rusty stain, I would have never met you, I would have never loved you..." she wanted to add I would have never become pregnant by you, but she stopped.

"Tell me that wasn't as regretful as it sounded," his hand skimmed over the silky skin of her neck and remained there, making his heart beat faster.

"Never my love," she frowned and grabbed his lapels, "I would never regret knowing you, even though the fear of the future is making me numb at times."

"What do you fear about the future?" he felt troubled by her words.

She shook her head and flushed her cheek and body against his, wanting to hear his heartbeat regulating her own poor heart that was ready to give up under the pressure.

"Eilin..." he hesitated and his fingers tunnelled through her hair softly.

She didn't speak, she just shook her head.

His heavy arms felt so comforting around her shoulders. "Is it the uncertainty of our situation that is causing all this trouble in you?"

She wanted to tell him no, but the words refused to slide off her tongue.

"It is," he rejoined with certainty at her lack of a response. His eyes fell on the valley that was barely visible under the heavy snow, "you fear my final conduct towards you?"

She wanted to scream no and kiss him to all eternity, but the truth was that now that she carrying his child she was afraid of everything. Especially his final conduct and if he was going to accept this baby or not, "so many things are at stake for Erebor, because of us."

His arms tightened around her small frame, "do you truly believe that because I have a lot at stake I'd give up on you?"

She couldn't answer, and she didn't want to pull back away to look at his face.

"That's why you are up here? That's what's been bothering your mind, men kurdunuh*?"

He felt her silent nod and heard her sob.

"Men kardunuh bi azamar," he whispered and his fingers slithered between her long tendrils, caressing her head gently.

"What does that mean?" she sniffled.

He smiled and pressed his lips on her forehead, "my heart is forever yours."

She squeezed him tight, "don't ever leave me." Her voice had a tone of plead that made his soul fracture.

He wanted so much to speak these words to her...

-never doubt that you will be my wife Eilin-

...but his blood froze upon the memory of Siv. He couldn't speak them to another woman and not fear that he would betray them again, even though his soul was crying that would never be the case with Eilin. That he would find a way through this even if it took his last breath. Still those words got lodged into his wind pipes, remaining buried there forever, "trust in me Eilin," he said instead.

She gripped his forearm and brought his hand towards her belly. Once again she made him shelter her stomach and sighed in relief as her tears began drying out. "Just touch me there," she muttered.

"It still hurts?" he said and caressed her belly delicately.

She nodded, "a little bit."

He kept his hand on her belly and pulled her up by the chin until his lips slid above hers, wet and warm. "I love you," he whispered her and his tongue rolled into her mouth, capturing all her senses and opening her up like a star. Her hand came above his, securing him over their child and her other slid through his thick mane never wanting to allow him to get away from her. A strong sense of possession overtook her and parallel to her blazing hormones made her want to claim him in every possible way. He felt her need so intimate that he reciprocated her attentions eagerly. It was the caw of several birds that made them pull back and look up after a while.

She smiled up at the sky, feeling her lips wet and bruised. Her eyes saw a flock of crows birds flying towards Erebor.

He drew her face back to him, "don't divert young lady. We are not done," he promised her.

"They flew so close by. They scared me," she grinned, feeling her mood slowly turning around by both his reassurances and his vigorous fondling.

"These are the Ravenhill crows, just letting us know they are looking out for us. Now kiss me," he said with an adoring smile and she pulled him down needing to imprison that smile forever. She wanted to place it inside a strongbox, lock it up and throw away the key, so he could smile like that only for her till the end of all times.

They remained up there in Ravenhill's frozen waterfalls long after the sun hid. When they decided to return into the warmth of Erebor, they shared a bed once again. Sleep quickly overtook her after the ultimate satisfaction he offered her once more. Before allowing herself to drift into the world of dreams she guided his hand above her lower stomach and every fear of the future and every uncertainty got wiped away under the comfort of his steady breathing, the heaviness of their blankets and their blazing fire...but above all under his words.

Trust in me Eilin.

* * *

*******************...******************************************...***********************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * my heart


	39. Darkness Unravelling

 

* * *

"Don't look so sulky for Mahal's holy beard! This is a feast not a funeral," Bjarki elbowed him.

Thorin humphed.

"You look ready to behead everyone in the slightest of causes," Bjarki continued.

"Oh, but I am," he frowned and his eyes tried to find Eilin once more, but she had left after finishing serving. First time he saw her this evening was also the only time his heart felt the need to smile. When she entered, as usually unprocessed, with her hair waving free below her waist he fixated on her. When her beautiful green eyes found his, he had to refrain from standing up, taking her by the hand and leaving this place once and for all in order to be free of all these damned chains that weighed him down.

Chains that threatened to sabotage his will to claim the most coveted treasure of Erebor officially this time. Her eyes offered him the comfort he needed and her soft smiles a gentle touch on his troubled heart, but all that wasn't enough for him this evening. She couldn't calm down the storm that was seething inside. He felt an intolerable urge to get out of his skin and become someone else. Someone whom the delegations would find completely indifferent. The more he looked at all those powdered dames and at the lords that were probably talking about him the more he wanted to escape with Eilin somewhere far away. Somewhere peacefully were they would be alone.

Yet he couldn't pretend ignorance anymore either, so he gazed back at them bodaciously with a stiff upper lip.

He couldn't hide anymore in the hopes that Erebor would allow them to ride onto the sunset alone and free of all bounds. The rumours about him bedding his maiden had become so severe that now the five lords were fiercely demanding answers from him, as it was proven by Servin's untimely intervention which backfired with a violence that Thorin hadn't expected out of himself. Especially towards Siv's brother. Still Eilin was sacred to him. No one was allowed to touch upon her morality without serious consequences.

His blood was slowly shimmering to a boil as his eyes surveyed the dining hall. Scrutinising each and every participant with an agitation that made several people nervous. Many smiled and bowed at him, trying to disperse the unease that the King's glare was causing, but several others averted their eyes quickly. Bjarki was the first one to discern Thorin's bad mood and Balin had followed close after with Dwalin. Fili was completely oblivious of Thorin's troubles. He was wavering with indecision about asking Valdis for a dance ever since he saw her entering. Something that Thorin didn't want to offer advice on as he was certain to disappoint his poor nephew with all his negativity. Especially after the moment he saw Karunn entering the royal dining hall and approaching her sister.

"Try to smile more laddie, you are the host," Balin suggested.

"I won't do anything I don't feel. What's your older niece doing here?" He asked Dain and tilted his chin dismissively towards Karunn.

"She arrived yesterday. Don't sound so pissed off cousin. She didn't come here to stay. She just wanted to see her sister for a while and then return to the Ironhills," Dain replied thoughtfully.

"See that she doesn't go near my sister, as an excuse to be close to her family," he rejoined sternly.

Dain nodded, "don't worry. She won't."

Thorin's brows came together angrily and his eyes fell on Servin that was discussing with several lords at the other side of the table. Siv's brother noticed him and their eyes locked for what felt like an eternity, in a silent battle of will. Several lords turned to him also. Not many faces appeared happy. Balin noticed and decided to intervene, "they looked pissed off as hell and who can blame them."

"Don't start with this today Balin, it won't end well," Thorin warned him.

"They need answers. Your involvement with the maiden has been running amok all over Erebor. They cornered you in that meeting three days ago. Wasn't that enough of an incentive to make you give this a proper closure?" Balin leaned down.

Fili crossed his arms and gave the lords the cold shoulder.

Thorin inhaled smoke from his pipe and his eyes gleamed. "Do you perchance mean the meeting where they tried to corner me? Was that an unfortunate slip of the tongue?"

"I thought they managed a pretty good job. Especially Servin," Balin pressed his lips.

Thorin raised his brow and smirked, "don't sound so certain when you don't have all the facts."

Balin frowned down at him. "You are not giving me all the facts, how can I know them? How can I advice you properly when I know half of what's going on in your mind and around your court? You father was not as secretive towards my father Fundin."

"I am not my father." His lips twisted with hostility.

"You've made that clear on several occasions throughout your rule." Bjarki said, but his voice held an undertone of pride instead of disappointment as Thorin would have expected.

"Very well then. Don't compare me and my father again." Thorin turned at him dismissively.

Balin raised his hands in defeat. "I won't be doing that mistake again laddie. Forgive me!" He sounded outraged.

"Shut up already," Dwalin snapped at his brother. "Leave the man alone."

Bjarki raised his cup. "Thorin doesn't need advice right now. He needs good company, ripe old mead, pleasant music and maybe to dance with one of those dames that keep playing eyes with him."

Thorin felt his fur rippling with anger, "I never dance."

Bjarki clasped his shoulder firmly, "don't bite my head off. I was making a simple suggestion. A dance might turn your mood around."

"No," he replied sternly.

"Maybe the prince should dance in your stead. He's playing eyes also, I noticed." Dain reposted and a smug smile formed on his lips.

Thorin raised his brow and looked at his nephew.

Fili looked around him feeling exposed, "well…I am not sure yet. I am thinking about it though."

"Instead of thinking about dancing, you'd better think about studying. Did you go through the scrolls I gave you?"

Fili felt as if he was caught with his hand at a honey-cake plate, "every single one uncle."

"You'll take me through them. If not today then tomorrow and there are more I have ready for you to study."

Fili's shoulders deflated. "I am barely sleeping as it is."

"Aren't you strong enough to sustain, boy?" Thorin eyes fell heavy on his nephew.

Balin and Dwalin exchanged guarded looks, but remained silent.

Fili puffed up with pride. "Of course uncle!"

Balin crossed his arms impatiently and looked down at the heavily pondering Thorin. "What are you going to do about the rumours? They dangle above your throne like a big axe, ready to cut your rule short." His chin gestured towards the lords.

"When the time comes you shall learn, along with everyone else," Thorin replied heavily.

"No one can deny that you handled the situation with the Arkenstone almost artistically, but maybe Balin is correct. You should address these rumours at some point. Have you formed an alliance with the elven King?" Dain asked.

"The words have never been stated, but the alliance is true," Thorin turned to him.

"The Arkenstone is in place, the alliance with the elves is a fact so I don't know how your personal love life can stop anyone from pledging their allegiance to you," Bjarki shook his head.

Balin frowned down at him. Dwalin and Fili smiled at each other.

Thorin turned at his friend rather surprised.

"I'd never accept anyone else but you in that throne and you know that. What if you decided to offer your heart to a maiden? Why should I care about that? Does your choice eradicate what you have accomplished for Durin's folk during these two centuries? Does it stain how efficiently you commanded Thror's mighty army, or how well you ruled the Blue Mountains? Or does it perchance change our perception of how fair a ruler you are and how selfless towards your people? I am not as sort sighted as they are" -he pointed at the lords across them- "I won't be the one to stubbornly support these old fashioned traditions. You have the pledge of my family, no matter your decisions about your personal affairs," Bjarki said proudly.

Thorin pressed his shoulder with an honest smile, "thank you."

"And the pledge of the Longbeards of course," Dain stuck his thumbs on his heavy belt, "there is no doubt about that." A well hidden smile was under his thick beard.

"Thank you cousin," Thorin smiled.

"That is very moving, but we are five families sort of a unity," Balin raised his brow.

Thorin looked at the stony-faced company of the five lords and his face fell, "I know."

Balin gazed at Dwalin troubled, "that's the first time I didn't hear any bravado in his words. I don't why, but that worries me more than anything else he has done since that girl came into his life." -He turned to Thorin- "Tell me the game isn't over already."

Thorin's lips upturned in a soft side smile, but his eyes were still trapped in darkness. "Game isn't over until I say it is."

Fili grinned, "bravado is back."

"Now you sound like you are on top of things, when clearly you are not!" Balin shook his head.

"You Balin are a walking nightmare. I cannot please you whatever I do. You neither want me to sound self confident, neither do you want me to sound uncertain. Can you tell me what you wish?" Thorin's voice was becoming steadily calmer with each word uttered. Bjarki's pledge had been enough to singlehandedly quieten down the boiling wrath that he had felt when Karunn entered the dining halls.

"I wish for you to settle this uncertainty for all of Erebor. I wish for you to unite the families under your rule! I wish for you to strike down every rumour and stabilise the tremulous ground under out feet!" Balin's voice was impassioned.

"Three capital wishes from you my dear friend. I shall do my best to fulfil them," he said and drank some mead.

Dwalin raised his pointer as a warning, "and that should be enough for you to lay off of him."

Balin's crossed his arms dejected.

"Maybe you should ask a dame for a dance then. Fili is too scared, Dwalin too bored, Thorin too angry and Dain too drunk," Bjarki teased the advisor.

Balin's cringed. "And I am too old."

Fili straightened his vest and stuck his forefingers on his wide belt, "I am not scared. I'll do it!"

Dwalin raised his brow. "You look like a rooster ready to prance."

Fili looked at him smugly. "I am trying to gather up courage to ask Valdis for a dance."

Thorin pursed his lips, "ask your mother first."

Fili frowned at him, "you cannot be serious uncle. I am eighty two years already!"

"Why would Dis say no to his possible interest in my niece?" Dain sounded picked.

Thorin chuckled. "She'd say no to any woman, not just your niece."

Dain smiled, "forgot about that."

"He's too young yet," Thorin continued with the same teasing tone.

"Uncle, that's enough," Fili warned him.

"Your mother's words boy, not mine."

"I'll show her. I am more than capable of choosing who I want to dance with," Fili gave his mother a deadly look that Dis missed as she was discussing fervently with lieutenant Dongar.

Thorin raised his brow at Bjarki and Dwalin who grinned.

"Well, what's keeping you? A new song is about to begin. Now's the time to make your move," Balin provoked him.

Fili inhaled deeply and braced himself. He cleared his throat and checked the braids on his beard.

"You didn't check your hair," Bjarki poked.

Fili raised his hands to check his hair and the men chuckled. He turned at them almost furiously, "Are you making fun of me?"

"Of course we are!" Dwalin thundered and they all laughed.

Fili turned to his uncle, "are you laughing too uncle?"

Thorin felt the mood of his comrades calming him down and even teasing his stomach with a few quiet laughs. He didn't forget about the lofty lords that glared at him so testily, neither about Karunn whose eyes he had caught a couple of times. His silent haughty gaze had been enough for her to avert her eyes and hide in the back of the room in the shadows. "You're cocky enough to ask this dame for a dance, you can handle me finding that immensely amusing."

Fili huffed and stuck his fingers on the armpits of his vest. "Very well! Look at me then uncle and learn how to do it!"

Dwalin raised both brows and slapped his forehead, "did the toddler just provoke you?"

Thorin nodded proudly, "boy is learning."

Fili raised his brow, "from the best. Now watch me!" He announced and pranced away from them towards the direction of Valdis.

"He's actually going to do it," Balin smiled. The mirth of his comrades was beginning to affect even this ever logical and brooding advisor.

"Let him scratch the smooth surfaces of his personality against a woman's fierceness. A few scars here and there will do him good," Thorin took several sips of his mead.

"Truth is if he waits for his mother to allow him, he'll grow old untouched by a woman's passion." Dwalin said and caressed his beard.

All his comrades, except from Dain roared in laughter.

"Why do I feel uncomfortable discussing my niece in this manner?" Dain frowned.

"You didn't seem to have a problem with Fili claiming the dance for your niece in the first place," Thorin raised his brow.

"That's one thing and another to talk about passion and such," Dain crossed his arms defensively.

Thorin raised his brow. "Don't worry. A single dance won't be enough to defile your niece's honour."

Dwalin hit Dain's shoulder hard. "Seeing one of butchers of Azanulbizar afraid of a dance...that's exceptional entertainment."

Dain pushed him way, "lay off you troll!."

Thorin laughed with his comrades and drank and tried to forget the heavy expectations that were being required off of him. He tried to avoid any eye contact with Karunn, even though he did check on her every time Eilin came in to see if there was a hateful undertone in her pale and cold face. There was none. She was still hiding in the back of the room alone, after Fili successfully asked Valdis for a dance.

Thorin's eyes fell on Dis that was watching this development with many disapproving frowns, but Dongar was keeping her relatively calm as it appeared. For the first time Thorin felt partly grateful that the lieutenant was next to his ferocious sister who would have undoubtedly pounced on Valdis the moment she accepted Fili's invitation. He relaxed back, allowing the joyous spirits of his comrades to draw him in, but his advisor didn't allow him to relish on those feelings for long. His eyes came ablaze the moment Balin made the most untimely intervention as Eilin entered the dining Hall carrying a large tray.

"Look at them," Balin thrust his chin at the five lords.

Thorin raised his brow and turned at their direction.

"They are watching the poor girl as if she is a freak," Balin said testily.

Thorin felt his fur again rippling with anger.

"That's all your doing, there's no escaping Thorin. You exposed her. I know you feel deeply for her, but I told you many times that what is happening is inappropriate. People will not accept their King to have an unofficial intimate relationship with his maiden. Let's not even put her interracial blood into the mix and make it even worse," Balin continued with the same calculative tone that rattled Thorin's anger to the point of explosion.

"Will you shut up already?" Dwalin seethed towards his brother.

Dain shook his head, "I think that's enough also."

"But look at them. They are diminishing the girl just by their looks. They are not taking their disapproval on Thorin, but on her! She's an easier victim you see," Balin pointed at Eilin angrily.

Thorin's deadly glare pierced through the faces of the men that were looking at Eilin with such contempt. Maybe Balin had been pushing Thorin too hard at times and seemed almost scornful or scathing about the situation with Eilin, but no one could say that Balin was wrong. Every single word he had been saying was painfully true. Thorin had to clear up his intentions, for Eilin's benefit. For Thorin it wouldn't be difficult to drag out their unofficial relationship forever, much like Thrain had originally offered for his involvement with Siv. He'd be cornered by the family representatives, yes. They could deny their allegiance, true, but that was as far as his comeuppance would go. For Eilin though it was different.

She was being targeted in the most degrading manner and he was not willing to allow that. She was being labelled the King's mistress and Thorin wanted to make sure they all knew exactly how important she was to him. He had to stand up and own his actions towards this wonderful woman that had declared her love to him so many times. He had to stand up in front of all of them and tell them how he felt about her.

He passed his mug onto Balin's hands and stood up.

"Where are you going laddie?" Balin asked.

Dwalin gave him a worried look.

"To give everyone the answers they need," he said and walked away from them. Leaving everyone frozen as he crossed the dance floor that was preparing for the next dance and approached Eilin from the back. She was serving some army officers with her usual polite conduct, when Thorin's rich voice called her to attention.

"Good evening, my lady."

She froze and turned around surprised. The last thing she had been expecting was the King to address her in front of everyone. Usually during these feasts he was acting indifferent to her presence, until they found each other passionately in his rooms later on. This sudden twist of attitude took not only her by surprise, but the whole cavern. Everyone's eyes were on him and Eilin. No one was moving apart from Balin that lost his grip on the mug.

"My lord? May I bring you something?" She averted her eyes and bowed.

He reached out and took the tray out of her hands. He gave it casually to a dame that was close to them, without taking his eyes away from Eilin's beautiful face. The dame took the tray and her mouth dropped open. "You may give me your hand." He offered his palm.

She looked down frightened. "My lord?"

He took a step closer. "Raise your mesmerising eyes to me."

She did so and he saw her upper lip trembling.

He offered her his palm again, "may I have this dance my lady?"

She blanched. "You never dance," she stupidly reminded him the least important thing of this exchange.

"I'll dance now if you do," he gave her a dashing smile that made her heart hammer against her chest.

She looked at the offered hand and the hesitation was clear. Everyone was looking at them, but hand't he known that was bound to happen before he attempted this highly daring move? Was it the first time she was witnessing the unprocessed Thorin she loved so much, acting spontaneously with singular courage? He was not inviting her for a dance in front of all the nobility of Erebor by chance. He was ready to make a public statement about them and she itched to follow. Before she did though she wanted to give him the final chance to back out. "This is a folly," she whispered.

He raised his brow. "A folly it was that I didn't act on this sooner."

"Thorin," she looked fleetingly around, feeling deeply unsettled.

"Do you fear this?" He tilted his head.

"Greatly, you?" she admitted and her eyes seared through his.

"I don't fear declaring how much I love you to the whole world." He whispered.

Her stomach did a summersault. "Oh, Thorin..." she muttered.

"Can I have your hand for this dance, my pretty lady? I will keep on asking until you accept." He bowed respectfully and the huge cavern erupted in astonished exclamations.

Her frozen hand came up and her fingers were visibly shaking until they were captured by his warm hand. A lopsided smile appeared on his beautiful lips as he led her steadily to the middle of the room. Everyone pulled away from the dance floor to allow the King to lead his lady. He stood there majestically with one hand behind his back and the other cradling hers. He inclined his head at the musicians and the flutes awoke with beautiful dancing tunes.

"Are you doing this on purpose?" She looked at him sideways preparing to dance.

"Of course. The whole of Erebor must learn about the woman that stole my heart forever," he whispered and looked at her with devotion.

She felt her eyes welling and the need to cover her belly and caress it was so strong that she placed her hand behind her back firmly in order not to raise any suspicions. Now that he was declaring so openly to his kingdom that he loved her, she wanted to embrace him and breathe into his ear that she was pregnant to their child. Wanting to see his face confused and shocked and then blissful beyond comprehension. Now that he finally decided to openly declare their love, she wanted to reveal to him the ultimate present that their love had produced. Yet, once more the words got stuck in her throat. Was it the fear that he wouldn't look as blissful as she was hoping or the dormant terror that this baby was going to die in her before it was even born? She needed to make sure that it was going to survive at least the first perilous days before revealing anything to him. In case something went wrong she would then be able to ride the unbearable pain on her own and spare him the agony. She'd tell him soon, when she felt more certain that this bundle of joy was here to stay.

"I don't know how to handle you right now. You are overwhelming me." She was honest.

"Try being awkward," he raised his brow.

She snorted and her cheeks blushed.

"Try tripping over your feet and landing in my arms so I can kiss you in front of them," he continued.

"Thorin…" she chastised and took a couple of twirls around him as the music filled the room.

"Why don't you try to be yourself?" His face opened up with a sweetness that made her need to kiss him even more intense.

"I can do that," she agreed and wiggled a little bit in front of him, before twisting his hand and coming around his back.

"Just dance for me," he gave her a lopsided smile.

She grinned up to him and felt her hands warming up, "tell me how you want me to do it."

"Dance for me seductively, like you had done at the river. Dance in the spellbinding way you had danced at the enchanted forest and at the burial grounds. Be utterly irresistible as only you know how and make every pair of eyes look at you...but dance only for me!" his deep voice echoed into her brain and awoke a deeply possessive thread, that wanted to scream to this room that this amazing man belonged to her and that this dance was just for him.

"And when the dance finishes?" She took a couple of twists around him.

"You shall learn soon. Be patient," his lips toyed with a playful smile.

She bit her lower lip and pirouetted around him through several complicated steps, before offering him a teasing gaze above her shoulder. "As you command my King."

He laughed lightly and escorted her around the room, as she unfolded her beautiful and dexterous movements, seducing all of Erebor's male nobility. After allowing his uncle and Eilin to dominate the middle of the room for a few moments, Fili decided to lead Valdis through this dance also. Knowing that his mother's critical glare was on him, he delighted in this very first declaration of independence.

Everybody was dazzled by Eilin's exceptional dancing skills, but most of all by the King that proved an equally competent escort. So they whirled and spun seemingly forever following the music to perfection. Totally forgetting Erebor's insistent attention, Thorin and Eilin only had eyes only for each other. Several couples joined in the dance as it progressed, but always the King and his dame stole the impressions. The look in his eyes made her temples throb with the erratic beating of her heart and her head had taken a dive into a lake of pure bliss. When the dance was over she stopped with a twist right onto his chest. "Did you like it?" she whispered.

Their breaths were clashing against each other and the need to skim her lips across his felt almost painful.

"It was perfect," he spoke in a hushed tone that raised the hair on her nape.

She beamed up to him.

"Are you alright?" He was making no attempts to pull away from her, even though the dance floor had emptied and the music had stopped. His bold declaration would matter little without showing the whole cavern what his intentions were now that the music had stopped. Was he going to send Eilin away?

"I am in heaven," she muttered and felt her heart thudding under her sensitive fingertips that were caressing his.

"You were absolutely hypnotising."

She blushed. "So..what do we do now? I am not in the mood to pull away from you..."

He huffed and bit his lower lip in anticipation. "Now young lady, I will bow to you" -he pulled back and bowed respectfully. Another surprised declaration from everyone around- "and I will lead you next to my sister."

She frowned, "I will sit next to the princess?!"

"Yes."

"Who is going to serve the people?" She asked stupidly.

His lips curled up, "there's my beloved awkwardness. Missed it."

"Thorin don't tease me. That's my job..." she felt bewildered. He had such a unique way of throwing her off her tracks all the time.

He shook his head and escorted her elegantly to the high table. "Your job is to sit next to my sister. We have enough women to serve us."

"Us? Serve us?" Her frown deepened.

"Us my lady. Now take your place next to my family please," he brought her next to Dis.

The princess instantly smiled up at her. "That was a beautiful dance my dear. Will join me?" Her eyes fell on her brother for confirmation.

He gave her a calm nod.

"I don't know my lady," Eilin looked around her shyly.

"Of course she will." Thorin helped her take a seat. Then he kissed her hand, making her blush down to her big toes and bowed. "Thank you for giving me this dance my lady."

Dis grasped her other hand. "Thank him also," she whispered trying to alleviate Eilin's embarrassment on not knowing how to act on etiquette.

"I was honoured my King," she said as gracefully as she could and bowed her head.

He smiled and left them. Before returning to his comrades that were waiting impatiently for him, he passed in front of the five lords. His majestic inclination of the head was more eloquent than any words from his mouth could have ever been. Everyone reciprocated, an indication that they have received his message.

First one that talked after Thorin sat down was Balin. "So it's done."

Thorin raised his brow.

"Irrevocable…" Balin continued.

Thorin tasted his mead and his eyes fell on Eilin that was leaning towards Dis probably enduring the cascade of advice that was coming out of his sister's mouth.

"Well, her dance was enthralling," Bjarki said cheekily.

Thorin gazed calmly at his friend.

"As was his dance. I thought you didn't know how to dance uncle," Fili added.

Thorin smiled.

"He's full of surprises," Bjarki raised his brow.

"Oh, isn't he indeed? Totally unpredictable. I don't know if that's good or bad," Balin crossed his arms.

Thorin bobbed his head, "we shall all have to wait and see, right?"

Dwalin grinned and clasped Balin's shoulder. "Calm down brother and appreciate the King's dance with his future wife. It was absolutely breathtaking!"

"For more than one reasons. You shocked the whole room into silence, much like you have done with the retrieval of the Arkenstone. You are as efficient and fearless as I always remembered you." Bjarki said proudly.

Thorin gave him an appreciative smile.

"Not wise enough though," Balin reminded them.

"Don't rush into assumptions my dear Balin. Even now nothing is over until I say so," Thorin said and looked coldly towards the lords that were not discussing anymore between them. The lord of the Broadbeams found the opportunity to stand up and come over to their company when their eyes crossed. Him and the King engaged in a very interesting conversation that had nothing to do with Eilin, but had everything to do with war strategy. The remaining four lords didn't appear to be conniving between them. It was as if Thorin's daring statement had silenced them. Once and for all.

-.-

Eilin on the other hand felt confounded by all the advice Dis was giving her, wishing that he had given her the opportunity to be alone with him, hidden behind some dark alcove instead of all this. This was making her so nervous.

"You looked scared out of your mind," Dis said calmly.

"I am my lady. What the King did was very unexpected. You may not believe me, but I had no idea he was going to do such a thing!" Eilin tittered quickly in order to convince the princess of her innocence.

"I am certain of it, as I am also certain that Thorin knows what he is doing. How are you feeling?" Dis looked at her.

"Very well my lady," Eilin frowned confused.

Dis turned to Dongar, "do me a favour lieutenant and leave us for a moment."

The man bowed to the ground and before leaving he gave Dis's hand a soft kiss that she rewarded with a kind smile. Eilin averted her eyes respectfully.

"He's gone. Now tell me, how are feeling in your belly," Dis raised her brow.

"I am still heavily nauseous my lady, but the King isn't suspecting anything," Eilin said.

"Any pains, discomfort, blood?"

"Some discomfort in my breasts," Eilin blushed.

Dis smiled, "you'll have that long after you give birth to my niece or nephew. Your body is preparing to feed the baby."

Eilin smiled widely and felt her heart pinching with happiness.

"You didn't tell him?"

"No, my lady."

"Why is it taking you so long?" Dis frowned.

"Maybe the baby will die in me. I don't want to disappoint him. I want to wait until I am certain it's here to stay. I have seen my friend Rhiannon losing two babies. I was there when it happened. It was a shocking experience." Eilin said and felt the fear gripping her insides.

"I understand. You must reveal your precious secret to him when you feel ready." Dis rejoined thoughtfully.

Eilin looked at her hands, "thank you my lady."

Dis looked at her brooding brother that was in deep conversation with the Boardbeam lord. "So how are you going to reciprocate my brother's bold gesture?"

Eilin frowned, "what do you mean my lady?"

"The King asked you for a dance. That's a clear declaration that he is interested in you romantically. The fact that he bowed and kissed your hand betrays that he feels intimate towards you. That he led you next to me was a clear statement that he wants you in our family. His actions this evening betray either that he is engaged to you or will be soon. Wedding you is in his immediate plans."

Eilin cupped her cheeks that had caught on fire, "Oh!"

"Considering what's in your belly that was the most appropriate course of action, even though he has no idea," Dis smiled, amused by Eilin's embarrassment.

"So what can I do to reciprocate?" Eilin looked up eagerly.

"You will fill him a cup of mead and serve him, but not as a maiden anymore. You are going to offer it to him as a partner. When you give him the cup you will enclose his hands around it in a gesture of intimacy. That will be your reply that you accept his advances," Dis said calmly.

Eilin hurried to fill the cup, but Dis's hand stopped her. "my Lady?"

"I am not finished. Be patient. You will not kneel when you serve him. Now you stand on an equal basis to him as his fiancee. You will gently tilt your head, but expect him to bow down for you. A sign of respect. You've got that?" Dis raised her brow.

Eilin filled the cup eager to do everything that Dis told her. She wanted to please him so much, "Yes!"

"Then you return here, next to me," Dis smiled widely at seeing her so willing to act in the appropriate manner towards him.

Eilin smiled at the princess. "I am on it my lady!"

* * *

While at one side of the royal table Eilin and Dis were discussing the next course of action and at the other Thorin was drawn deeply into a very interesting conversation by the Broadbeam lord who was joined soon after by the Firebeard lord, at the darkest side of the cavern Karunn was approaching a table that had been of great interest to her ever since she entered the dining halls.

"Good evening," Karunn stood coldly next to Nyrthrasir's chair.

The man's eyes met her and all the blood drained from his face. "Good evening," he muttered.

Karunn looked at Myrna and smiled coldly. "Hello my dear woman."

Myrna bowed her head, "my lady. It is an honour for us to have you at our table. Please sit down," she offered.

Karunn scrounged her lips and looked fleetingly at the King. "No, I am not here to stay. Just came to talk to my sister. I was on my way out when I decided to catch up with you two."

"Lucky for us that you didn't decide to overlook us," Nyrthrasir sounded choleric.

"How could have I overlooked one of our most capable officers and his lovely wife?" Karunn's smile was disdainful.

Myrna bowed her head. "Your words are a solace to my troubled heart, my lady. Especially after the ridicule my poor husband got back at the Ironhills."

Karunn feigned sadness. "I never understood why anyone would strip the valiant Nyrthrasir and send him to work at the mines."

Nyrthrasir's murderous eyes fell on her, but she ignored him.

"Thank Mahal that he was offered a fresh start in Erebor's army my lady. Especially now that we are expecting our first child. We needed the security of a new and prosperous environment in order to bloom." Myrna couldn't contain her happiness and that made Nyrthrasir's heart pinched in fear. He cupped her hand. Karunn noticed.

"You are pregnant my dear Myrna? Congratulations," Karunn sounded pleasantly surprised.

"I think it was the will of the Maker that I fell pregnant when we first arrived in Erebor. Living in this stronghold under this valiant and just King is what blessed us with an offspring," Myrna bowed respectfully towards Thorin who was accepting the cup of mead from Eilin's hands.

Karunn's critical gaze fell on that scene and her eyes thinned, "blessed may he be."

"Blessed may he be," Myrna and Nyrthrasir repeated.

"Even though I was born and raised in the Ironhills, I strongly believe that Erebor is where we always belonged. This is the best place to raise our child," Myrna smiled and looked at the King who was bowing graciously at his dame after receiving his drink.

"What's so exceptional in Erebor then?" Karunn frowned feeling picked.

Nyrthrasir tried to stop his wife, but she was way too excited to allow him that. "Myrna dear enough."

"Why my love. Allow me to speak please. Where else have you seen a King so just, so fair and so selfless as King Oakenshield? He has sacrificed himself for the lowest miners, he has embraced every desperate family that knocked on his doors with a modesty that shouldn't belong to the heir of Durin. He's not afraid to fall in love with someone who is not of his rank and more so is totally unafraid to declare it openly to the whole of Erebor! Common people know how to appreciate every fair judgment, every kind action, every sweet smile and every selfless thought. They know...we know that his qualities are rare to find. Think about who he is. What he has accomplished already. How brave, courageous, loyal and true he has always been to our kin. How approachable and caring he is to every person in Erebor despite their rank. Who wouldn't want to live under this man's rule?" Myrna words were impassioned.

Karunn raised her brow, "who wouldn't want that indeed."

Myrna bowed, "we are lucky to live in the prosperous era of King Oakenshield's rule my lady. As many of our kin had been equally blessed to live in his Halls in the Blue Mountains."

"Enough Myrna," Nyrthrasir tried.

"Why my darling? Shouldn't I explain to our beloved lady how much King Oakenshield's blessed rule is affecting us common people?" Myrna frowned at him.

"Allow her to unfold her thoughts to me my dear man," Karunn looked at him with a cold tone of warning that made him pull back.

"My lady these are not just my thoughts. Every house in Erebor is brewing with these embracing emotions towards our King. Every cleaner, every miner, every mason and minstrel, every delver and woodsman, every hunter, every soldier, every embroider, every son and every daughter are learning of his value every single day. He had always been a figure of royalty, deeply admired. Now people are starting to love him," Myrna smiled.

"Love him. Well." Karunn said thoughtfully, "thank you for giving me an insight on the peoples' thoughts about their ruler. I shall cherish them. I hope Mahal will bless you with a healthy offspring soon."

Myrna bowed to the ground and felt her eyes watering, "thank you my lady."

Karunn offered her an unfelt smile. Then her attention turned to Erebor's precious King that was looking intensely at his fucking stable girl who had the audacity to sit next to princess Dis once more. She felt ripples of orgasmic pleasure at the thought of seeing the haughty King bend beyond recognition, or why not dead by his own hand. Wouldn't Erebor weep tears of agony if it's beloved King committed suicide after feeling the traces of an ultimate betrayal burning deep into his veins? And wouldn't she feel cleansed of all her ridicule if she could be the one to manage that singular blow onto a man that seemed so untouchable? Her eyes turned to Eilin and she had to stop herself from groaning in pleasure on these evil thoughts.

After a few moments she turned her frozen scrutiny to Nythrasir who shuddered by it's intensity. "May I be allowed to communicate with you, my dear man, about some serious issues of the Ironhills? I don't want to unnecessarily worry your pregnant wife, but I trust your experience immensely."

Myrna smiled at her. "Borrow him freely my lady."

Nythrasir shook his head, "cannot it wait for a more appropriate time?"

Karunn raised her brow, "no."

Her voice seemed calm, but Nythrasir took the message that he was not to play with her. He was to obediently follow her out. Which he did, after kissing his wife's hand goodbye, hoping it wasn't going to be the last one. They left the dining halls and walked down to the King's halls. That is where she stopped, next to one of the heavy golden statues of Thorin's forefathers. Hidden in the shadows. He approached and faced her with as much courage as he could master. "Why cannot you leave us alone?" he whispered.

"Because I have a hold on you especially now that I know of your wife's pregnancy, and I need someone to help me," she said.

Nythrasir inhaled deeply and looked around to see if anyone had noticed them. They were completely alone. "I thought this game was over between us. You had your revenge on me. I have nothing more to offer. Forgive me for what happened in the Ironhills. I was weak and I treated both you and my wife unfairly. You paid me back well and good all these years, just please have a heart and let all this go. I am trying the best I can for my family now. I am not bothering anyone."

She waved him off, "this has nothing to do with what happened in the past between us."

He frowned confused, "then what is all this? why did you want to see me?"

She raised her brow and took out a small baby belt from a pouch that was attached on her golden belt. It was so small, she could have used it as a bicep bracelet and so worn out, it looked almost completely faded. She smiled down at it and then at him. A shudder passed from his spine at the evil look in her eyes. "I want you to take this belt and give it to your valiant King."

Nythrasir reached out to take it, but stopped at the last moment. "Whatever for?"

She raised her brow. "This was given to you by your former lover. The King's fiancee when she was working at that sleazy tavern a ride away from Bree. The Forsaken Inn. You arrived in Erebor and when you saw her again you couldn't keep your hands away from her and she couldn't either. Your passion for each other came ablaze and you became intimate several times under the King's roof. You feel regret, but also deep appreciation of the just and fair King, that's why you decided to reveal this betrayal in order to protect him from that fiend who preys on his rivers of gold. You will give her belt to him as proof that you know her. You will say she gave it to you when you were in love back at her tavern days as a token. You will also reveal to him that you know her body intimately and speak about the heart shaped mole she has on the inside of her left thigh, close to her womanhood. Only a lover would know such details," she continued unemotionally. Only a lover would know or her best friend that was hopefully by now dead at the outskirts of Mirkwood, even though Alf and his thieves had been unable to find her in the woods. Something that made Karunn refuse their payment and them act rather displeased before departing under several threats that she was going to call on Erebor's army.

Nyrthrasir became livid and backed away from her and the baby belt as if he was touched by fire. "You are crazy! I am not going to do anything like that...you are crazy," he repeated.

Karunn was completely unemotional as she weaved the final fall of Thorin and Eilin. "Of course you will my darling."

"No!" he shook his head almost hysterically and took another step back. "Never! I'd never do that to the King, nor to that sweet woman by his side!"

Karunn smiled coldly. "Oh, it seems then that you don't mind me revealing to your wife how intimate we two had become in the Ironhills."

His mouth dropped open and his hand began shaking. "She wouldn't believe you," he whispered.

"She wouldn't? I guess it's worth a try. With her pregnancy and the poor condition of her heart I wonder if she'd be able to handle these shocking news from a very regretful Iron Maiden that feels terrible remorse for what had been taking place behind this poor woman's back all these years," Karunn pouted her lips.

"You cannot do that," he felt that he was going to choke on his own vomit as his stomach clenched violently. He coughed and cupped his mouth trying to push everything down.

"Don't test me," her voice warned in a low tone.

He shook his head in denial. "Why are you out to destroy me?"

"Not you, I am out to destroy your vain King and his bitch. Either you help me or I deliver the final blow that could send your wife and unborn child to an early grave," she raised her brow and twirled the baby belt around her fingers.

He broke apart then completely. Tears erupted from his eyes and he fell down to his knees. He reached out and grabbed her shin pleadingly. "Please don't force me to do such a thing. I won't be able to live with myself afterwards!"

"Then commit suicide, I don't care. At least your wife and child will be alive to tell the tale," she said with frozen hostility.

"I cannot do it...I cannot," he whispered not knowing were sanity was anymore.

Karunn signed and pulled away from him. "Very well. I am off to see Myrna."

He grabbed her shin and butted his forehead on her thigh. "Have mercy on me!" he weeped.

She released her leg and caused him to fall down on his hands. "I don't care about you. You're just a tool for me. You care about your wife and child though don't you? More than life. You are going to do everything for them, aren't you?"

He shook his head and pleaded to the Gods to be spared, "I CANNOT! I will kill myself before I even talk to the King! My wife will be safe then! I curse you to burn in the pits of Mount Doom you evil woman!"

She turned around and looked haughtily down at him. "Apparently your impeccable ethics, so conveniently forgotten once upon a time, will now cost your wife... her life. No one will be there to stop me from spilling the tea about us, after your death and I will not hesitate to do it. The only way to stop me is to convince the King of Eilin's betrayal."

He wailed. "NO! Please spare my wife!"

"You are the only one who can spare her. The final decision is yours," Karunn reminded him ruthlessly.

Silence befell around them, broken only by the painful scratching of his nails on the stone floor and his mournful weeping. She remained coldly detached observing him like an experiment. Much like she would observe a fish struggling to breathe out of water and refusing to put it back in, counting the moments till it died. When his trembling hand reached up to her she smiled contently. She gave him the belt and he hid it between the folds of his coat as his weeping became wails of pain. "Mahal help us...please!" he begged the skies, for she was not listening to him. No one now was going to listen to him.

"Be convincing to the King. Your wife will be spared, the moment Durin's heir gets destroyed." she rejoined callously and walked away.

Leaving him to disintegrate onto the floor with Eilin's baby belt tightly pressed in his hands.


	40. On the bell's third strike

Four days later Thorin was walking thoughtfully towards the entrance. This afternoon the incoming immigration flow had taken a rather grim turn. Instead of families relocating, it was full of wounded people that carried their dead to be buried in the Lonely Mountain. Thorin ordered Eilin to go back to his rooms and rest, even though she insisted to remain and help him out. She looked too pale, too exhausted and too preoccupied for his tastes. In the end, when she realised that in the stead of her Thorin now stood the authoritative King, she relented and went to sleep in his rooms.

Thorin stood at the gates overlooking the grim parade of the dead. He was seething with nervousness which was caused not only from his worry about Eilin's health that seemed to be slowly deteriorating, but also from the bold declaration he made about their situation in front of his court. Everybody knew now that he intended to wed her. His courageous move that evening at the feast declared openly that there was no turning back for him. He has found his one. Such a formal announcement should have had some kind of a reaction. On the contrary none of the lords spoke to him about his formal conduct towards Eilin, so he was left alone in silent limbo. Something that was making him rather tense, bringing up the caustic monarch in him towards everyone except Eilin, his immediate family and close friends.

As a reaction to this deliberate -or not- limbo he also secluded himself. Brooding in his office, his grandfather's library, Eilin's rooms or his own, the vaults and the top most rampart. It was this afternoon's grim events that drew him out of his usual isolation and made him approach the entrance and his people that needed his presence to give them courage.

"Good evening my lord. You are a difficult man to talk to, which is ironic since you are the King of this golden city," Durar the lord of Linnar's folk came up next to him.

Thorin crossed his arms and observed the wounded families with a deep frown. "Good evening. It's difficult to be everywhere and for everyone all the time. Tell me what I can do for you my dear man."

"Maybe I should wait to address my issues until you've had your report. Dain is coming up and seems rather grim," Durar frowned and crossed his arms likewise, subconsciously mimicking the King.

Thorin shook his head at Dain, "Things look very bad."

His large cousin nodded, "there is a massacre going on at Ered Mithrin. The remaining underground cities are being ripped to threads. You see few survivors here. Most didn't make it. This is our comeuppance for reclaiming Erebor. We need to act fast, people are dying up there. They are the last of our kin. We need to support them."

Thorin's brow clouded. He looked at his nephew. "Fili take care of all your business in the city. You march with your uncle at break of dawn. We have enough men to gather a brigade, correct?"

Dain nodded, "enough to gather more than one."

Durar intervened. "Use my thousand selected if you wish."

Thorin looked at him, "that would be most welcome. Thank you."

"Anything to help the Mountain King" -Durar said with a proud smile- "My men belong to the Lonely Mountain now. They are the Firebeard contribution to your army my lord. Use them and abuse them to your will."

"Then you shall command them," Thorin said gracefully.

Durar smiled widely. "Oh, haven't had a good fight with Orcs in years. I'd love that!"

Thorin pursed his lips and looked at a young dame who was wailing above an elder dwarf that looked unconscious. Her face was barely seen under all the dirt and blood. Several people had gathered around them to offer some help.

Thorin uncrossed his arms and was the first one of the nobility that was standing by the entrance to break through the shocked circle of bystanders and approach the elder. Durar was right behind him. He came down to one knee and cupped the forehead of the elder. "Is he wounded or ill?" He asked the young dame.

She shook her head. "He is very old my lord. He has a weak heart."

"We need to kill every Orc in these mountain ranges. I suggest that we don't stop at Ered Mithrin. We can organise an attack at Mount Gundubad. Take back the ancient ancestral homeland of the Longbeards from this filth." -Durar said angrily- "Look at how much our kin is suffering."

"We don't have enough men to make such a heavy retaliation. We need to think prudently. Are you ready to sacrifice all your men for a lost cause?" Thorin caressed the elder's hair back and placed his fingers on his neck to feel his heart. It was beating erratically.

Durar crossed his arms, "Is it a lost cause?"

"It is unfortunately. These mountains are crawling with orcs. They are coming out of every crevice like spiders. We cannot reclaim them. Not yet at least." Thorin said thoughtfully.

"If that's said by the man that reclaimed Erebor, it should be enough for you," Dain raised his brow wisely.

Durar pressed his lips dismissively.

The young girl looked up shocked. "Are you the King, my Lord?" She muttered.

Thorin looked at her silently for a few moments. Then he placed his arms under the old man and picked him up. "Dain notify Oin." His cousin proceeded them quickly no matter his fatigue.

When they arrived at the infirmary, he placed the old man on a bed. His daughter quickly came at his side. "Daddy? Open up your eyes daddy, please! We arrived safely at Erebor. We are safe inside the Lonely Mountain. The place you always dreamed of returning to, after the flying beast drove you and mommy away. Please open up your eyes and look at me" -she was sobbing so hard that Thorin's eyes filled with sadness. Then suddenly she reached up and grasped his hand. She brought it onto her father's chest- "feel this? It's not my hand. It's the hand of the Mountain King. Open up your eyes daddy and look at him. He's standing above you."

The man's eyes fluttered and a soft whisper came out of his mouth. "King Thror…"

Thorin winced and closed his eyes, but he didn't remove his hand. He felt the stab of those words deep into his heart.

His daughter shook her head. "King Thror is dead daddy." -She looked up at Thorin beseechingly- "Forgive him, his memory is not as it used to be. He is very old."

Thorin drew his hand back gently. "Don't worry." The young woman's hands fell empty on her father's skeletal chest.

That is when Oin arrived and Thorin looked up. "Check on him. His heartbeat is erratic."

Oin pulled up the man's tunic and placed his hearing cone on his chest. "Damned thing is becoming useless," he muttered and threw it on the floor. Then he placed his fingers and tried to find the pulse.

"Oin will take care of your father. I wish you a speedy recovery." He said quietly, all the time keeping his eyes on the thin face of this old man that had named him Thror. Why couldn't he get rid of the ghosts of his past? Even this stranger had to remind him that he was still walking on Thror's footsteps, even though he'd been trying hard to cut all ties to them.

She reached up and pulled his hand on her lips. "Thank you my Lord," she kissed it.

He pulled his hand away again. "Everything will be alright." He told her those words in order to believe them himself.

That is when the old man opened up his eyes slightly and gazed at him. "I am sorry I named you Thror my King."

Thorin smiled. "Why ask forgiveness? King Thror was my family."

The old man's eyes looked glazed and he was having a hard time focusing on the King. "You are Thrain's oldest son aren't you? Thorin the second?"

Thorin nodded.

"So many years have passed since I last saw you and you've changed. Forgive me." The old man whispered.

Thorin patted the man's shoulder. "Nothing to forgive. Now rest."

He left with Durar by his side. When they were out at the long corridor the Firebeard Lord was the first one to speak, as Thorin was tormented by the ghouls that this old man had awoken in his heart. The one's that never truly went away no matter how hard he tried at times.

"What I just saw is worth every pledge to your kingship I can offer!"

Thorin paused and looked down at him, "what?"

Durar raised his brow. "The empathy with which you approached this poor soul is enough for me to understand what kind of a King you are. I need nothing more than that."

Thorin's eyebrows flexed in confusion.

Durar smiled. "I am one of the remaining five and I will not lie to you. Three of them are very set against you, but not me or the Lord of the Broadbeams. He's leaning towards you likewise. He was impressed by how courageously you declared your love for your One at the dinner. You see his wife was a cleaner and he was the only one from his family that chose to marry against the strict rules of ranking."

"I was not aware." Thorin said solemnly.

"Ámundur is a fierce commander and a loyal man. Loyal to the bone. What you did for your lady gripped his heart, but don't ever tell him I said so. He never wants to talk about his private matters." Durar warned.

Thorin smiled.

"I am sure you've got his allegiance and after what I saw today, you've got mine." The man straightened up proudly.

"Thank you. Your words mean a lot during this time of uncertainty." Thorin replied calmly.

"I didn't come here to pledge my sword under the King's gem. I care more about who sits under it. I knew your fierce father and your honourable grandfather. I wanted to see things for myself concerning your rule. You didn't disappoint me. Your personal relationships did concern me deeply before you announced publicly your honourable intentions towards the girl, but after your declared your wish to wed her and especially after what I saw today, there is no doubt in my mind that no one else would be more suitable to unite the seven families under his rule!" Durar grinned.

Thorin eyes became sadly thoughtful. "It will be a difficult task, but I do appreciate your support more than words can say."

Durar pressed his lips tightly. "The Ironfists and the Stiffbeards are aligning with the Blacklocks. It won't be easy to convince them my lord. I speak of the truth. I have partaken in many conversations with them. They will not accept your One as their Queen."

Thorin cast his gaze at the end of the corridor that led to the throne room. "I know my friend."

Durar's brows played nervously. "I don't want this amazing opportunity to unite our kingdoms go to waste. Not now that we have the chance to do this under such a unique ruler like yourself."

"Be certain that I will not give up on the effort to achieve this honourable cause under the name of the Longbeards." Thorin rejoined quietly.

Durar bowed. "Thank you for giving our people hope my King. My sword is yours."

Thorin clasped the formidable Lord's shoulder and squeezed. "Go before you see me break. I do not wish that."

Durar's eyes fixed on him solemnly. "I will go and prepare my men for the march my King."

Thorin inclined his head majestically and remained in the middle of the corridor like a statue for a long time before deciding to go to the throne room. He mustered up his courage and walked upon the long bridge that led to his throne, feeling more emboldened than ever to face the ghouls of his past, under the encouraging words of Durar. The real Thorin had taken to his side four out of the seven lords and that allowed him look at the rebuild throne with a new ray of hope.

The feeling lasted very little though. When his eyes lifted up to the Arkenstone, he felt every single inch of bravery collapsing under the heavy history that burdened his shoulders. Instantly everything he had accomplished up to that point on his own, either in the Blue Mountains or here came crumbling down under the unspoken images of the past that woke up violently.

He crossed his arms protectively in front of his chest and caressed his shoulders. A gesture way too vulnerable for his personality, but he didn't even know that he was doing it. Just standing there in front of the accursed Arkenstone that shown brightly above the restored throne was enough to undo him. The King's gem was attacking his true self, intending to kill him and bring back the brooding Mountain King his father had shaped him up to be. The one that scared so much Eilin, but also himself.

The more he stood immovable in front of the throne the more he thought he could see shadows at the edge of his eyesight. As if the ghost of his grandfather decided to materialise on top of the throne in the same dull stance posture he used to take when someone was informing him that they hadn't found any Mithril veins recently. The proud stature of his father was standing on the left side of the throne. As for the side that belonged to the commander...that was empty.

No shadows formed there, because he was standing in front of the throne now trying to decide if he wanted to ever sit on it. Would this throne accept the King he truly was or would it reject him to the fiery pits of his own Kingdom? Near the depths where the mountain burned hot enough to melt the strongest metal? When his eyes tried to focus at the shadow of his father it evaporated into nothingness and his grandfather's vague shape reappeared on the throne. When he concentrated there, his grandfather dispersed into thin air.

Thorin felt his head hurting and his heart throbbing by the burden that this throne was dropping onto his shoulders once more. Especially now that he had this amazing woman next to him. If he sat on Erebor's throne would Eilin lose the Thorin she loved? Would the Mountain King return with a vengeance and remain for everybody around him, suffocating his true self under the weight of all this responsibility?

This was his greatest fear, what he dreaded the most. The reason he rarely sat on it. The reason he didn't want to touch the Arkenstone or wear that damned Raven Crown. For another King all this would have meant nothing, but after all the sacrifices and blood curling pain he had been through for this Kingdom, he was not able to see this coveted throne like any other King.

He rubbed his temples firmly wanting to eliminate the images of the past and the pain that pulsated at his forehead. He gritted his teeth and was about to curse both the ghosts and himself to the very fires of Mount Doom, when the quiet voice of Balin drew him out of his nightmares.

"Are you alright laddie?"

Thorin turned around sharply and almost lost his footing. He gazed down at Balin feeling totally lost.

Balin frowned and took hold of his bicep, "for heavens' sake you look like death."

Thorin pulled his arm free and closed his eyes. He took a couple of steps back in order to regain his composure and personal space. "I am alright. You just scared me."

"Says the man that never gets scared. What's wrong Thorin?" Balin came close to him again. Denying him the need for distance.

"I have a blinding headache. What are you doing here?" His voice was hoarse.

Balin gave him a guarded look. "Came to deliver a message that a maiden brought for you."

"Fine, give it."

Balin hesitated as he drew a paper from his pocket.

"What are you waiting for? Did you just scare the living daylights out of me for nothing?" The King sounded annoyed.

"I will give you the message, but bare with me for a few moments," Balin tried a more quiet approach.

Thorin retrieved his demanding hand and rubbed his forehead. "Forgive me. I am not myself today."

"You haven't been yourself since you announced to everyone your intention to marry Eilin. I would have thought that this is what you wanted the most. It should have made you feel on top of the world. Not as lost as you look now," Balin said with a distressed frown.

Thorin shook his head. "What you see before you is the result of the ghosts that hunt me day and night Balin. The one's that don't allow me to take pleasure from what I have done for Eilin and me."

Balin sighed, "are you tormented by guilt laddie?"

Thorin felt his eyes overflowing with unbidden tears and turned away. He wasn't willing to break down in front of his friend.

Balin closed his eyes in slow realisation, "you are."

"I am." He rejoined flatly.

"For Eilin?"

He shook his head angrily. "No and yes."

"You regret what you did?" Balin asked quietly.

"Never. I love her Balin. I want her to be my wife," -he wanted to add I wish her to bear my children, but bitterness overrun him and he almost chocked on his next words- "She is my one. Never doubt that."

Balin sighed deeply. "I don't doubt that son. Not anymore. Not after what I have seen."

Thorin offered him a pained look of resignation. "I feel guilt for failing my forefathers even though I know that what I did is true by my heart. How sad is that?"

"You believe Thror and Thrain wouldn't have agreed with your choice?"

"They wouldn't have agreed with any of my choices Balin. You know that. You've been trying to tell me all this time. Trying to remind me. Do you think that I have ever forgotten by any chance? I am still tormented by what happened then. Now they are standing there" -he pointed under the King's Gem- "one sitting on the throne, the other standing next to it, looking dismissively at me. They know I don't belong here anymore."

Balin frowned. "You are the only one that belongs on that throne my King, never doubt that. This torment that you are putting yourself through is unfair. Let the past go. This is your time to rule. Do it your own way and take on responsibility of your actions, like you have always done. You never failed us in the past. I vouch you won't fail us in the future."

A sad smile cracked on Thorin's lips. "I cannot rule Erebor with a woman by my side. Thrain's words."

Balin frowned deeply and felt his heart cracking. "Such unfair words. Where they spoken or imagined?"

"They were spoken and still haunt me. What happened that evening at the feast was not just me declaring my love for Eilin in front of everyone Balin. It was me choosing between the throne or her. I cannot have them both and I feel I betrayed my forefathers with my choice."

"Oh, you are killing yourself laddie." Balin's eyes filled with tears.

"No I am not. This is the first time I am not killing myself, but the dreams of my father…" Thorin gaze turned reflective.

Balin scowled, "and that pains you."

"Deeply." Thorin whispered.

"You are cutting all ties with the past." Balin continued.

Thorin nodded. "I am."

It took Balin a few moments to digest that Thorin had been camouflaging so much pain behind his everlasting structured exterior. Right now it was spilling out of him with every word. "Never doubt that you were made to sit onto that throne. You are our leader, our beloved ruler. Whether that be with Eilin by your side or not it matters little. Wether it will be under the Arkenstone or not, with the Raven Crown on your head or not. Whether you sit on that throne or not, you are the King of Erebor. The Mountain King we are all proud to serve. Whether you unite the seven families or not, if you are tormented by the ghosts of your forefathers, or the guilt of not being the King they wanted, know this. I wouldn't serve any other King for as long as you live. I will bow to no one else as long as your heart beats. Only when it seizes will I bring my knee down for the next King and I am not the only one to feel this way."

Thorin fists tightened painfully. If Durar's loyal words had been unable to release his emotions, Balin's did so with an ease that stole his breath. He wanted to speak. He wanted to say thank you, but his throat convulsed. This was the first time since he woke up from death that he truly felt the acceptance of his dear friend and not his judgement. Balin felt his emotional breakdown and rushed to embrace him tightly. "Do you doubt my words?"

Thorin shook his head and tightened his arms around Balin. "No."

"Forgive me for ever making you feel like I was judging you. I was unable to understand how serious things were between you and this girl. Forgive me for not standing by your side like you deserve." Balin rushed to say with a broken voice before his courage failed him.

Thorin gritted his teeth against all this emotional torrent, without realising how much his body needed to get rid of it and how much he was stopping it from doing so. He pushed back and placed his white knuckled fists on his belt. "Enough with all this drivel. What about the damned message you were supposed to deliver which brought us down to this miserable conversation?"

Balin frowned confused for a few moments, before exclaiming. "Oh yes, wait..." he dug his pocket and fished up a plain scroll.

Thorin took it. "So what does it say?"

Balin pursed his lips. "I haven't read it."

Thorin frowned. "How did that escape you? You've always opened up my personal messages ever since I can remember."

"Well it is my job as your advisor to know what's going on around you all the time. Whether you tell me or not," Balin rejoined smugly.

Thorin tucked the message on the inside of his wide belt and forgot about it instantly. "So what changed this conditioning now?"

"You are intimately involved with a young lady, whom you intend to marry. Now you have personal messages that I am not interested to read, thank you very much." Balin explained offhandedly.

Thorin cleared some long silver tendrils from his sweaty brow and chuckled. "I am glad you still have some discretion after so many years of snooping around my business."

Balin embraced Thorin's shoulder with a wide smile and escorted him in friendly conversation until Thorin decided to enter Thror's study and asked Balin to call Fili. Uncle and nephew remained under locks way after the sun had set and the heavy gates locked against the snow storm that was bellowing outside. When he finally gave permission to his nephew to get some rest, the boy staggered totally dizzy out of the study only to fall onto Balin that was coming in with some refreshments.

"I was just bringing this over to you my lad," Balin said and lifted up the tray.

"I am out Balin. I can barely see straight. I need to sleep. I am marching tomorrow at the break of dawn." Fili mumbled.

Balin frowned. "Thorin is overworking you."

Fili nodded. "You can say that again. Good night, I am off before I fall asleep in front of his throne."

Balin smiled. "Go and rest lad. Goodnight."

Fili waved tiredly at him and Balin kept his eyes thoughtfully on the young man's back until he could see him no more. Then he took the refreshments to Thorin who had his head buried deep between mountains of open scrolls. He forced his King to eat and drink and then he closed the scrolls and forced him to go and get some rest. The bells were soon going to strike the first call for the night and their day had been long and tiring.

Thorin reluctantly agreed to let go of his scolls and go back to Eilin.

* * *

Upon reaching his rooms, he opened the door quietly and looked inside. The candles were out and the room quiet. He saw the bump under the covers and smiled sweetly. Taking care to shut the door silently behind him, he removed his heavy boots before attempting to walk inside. He unbuckled himself and shed his vest on the armchair. Then he kneeled down and rekindled the fire before going at the single window and drawing back the curtains. The snowstorm had become so severe that he was unable to see the valley beneath him and only the faint light of the usually blazing fires at the side of Erebor's grand entrance was visible behind that white curtain. His balcony was half buried under the snow and the small pot where Dis had planted one of Kili's flowers was hidden. He wanted to bring it in, but opening the window with this menacing blast of frozen air was out of the question. Suddenly her melodic voice broke through the silence.

"Hi handsome." She sounded so warm and cosy that his body shuddered with the desire to feel the same.

He turned around and looked at her above his shoulder. "Did I wake you?"

"I was more like snoozing, than actually sleeping. I was waiting for you impatiently. I missed you." she cooed.

He walked to her quietly and sat at the side of the bed. His hand came up and cleared some red locks from her temple. "Your cheeks are red and you look well rested."

"I am" -she smiled up at him sweetly and cupped his hand that rested briefly on her cheek- "Which cannot be said for you. You looked exhausted."

Thorin closed his eyes and bit the inside of his lower lip in order to keep himself from spilling out to her everything that was tormenting him. He didn't want to ruin the peaceful expression on her face. "Nothing a good night's rest won't fix."

She pulled him by the hand until he came down at a breathing distance from her face. "Come on, take off your clothes and get in then," she whispered. "I will lull you to sleep."

"Will you?" a soft smile appeared on his lips.

She swallowed a tight throat and her finger smoothed over his cheekbone. "Oh, yes."

His lips touched hers and his eyes instantly closed delighting at their softness. He kissed her gently, probing her mouth carefully. Wanting to relate to her his affection more than arouse her, but she had apparently different ideas. Both palms skimmed across his cheeks and her fingers caressed his pointy ears for a few moments until she heard the exhalation of pleasure that came out of his mouth. Then they tunnelled through his mane and pulled him down. She arched up to him and her mouth opened up to allow her tongue to explore him lightly. Their touches were slow and neither wanted to hurry through. His wide palm planed over her jawline and his thumb fondled the sensitive skin of her neck as his mouth reciprocated her tender attentions with the same soft exploration.

"Did you wake up in the mood for love?" he whispered and his lips curled up slightly.

"Mmmm...yes," she arched up to him, flushing her chest against his.

He exhaled on her open lips and frowned. "What are you wearing?" -he reached up and traced the lapels of her tunic for a few moments before letting his fingers plane on the side of her smooth neck- "Is this my tunic?"

She blushed and one of her hands surfaced out of his thick hair and planed down his arm, past his chest and stomach until it found the edge of his tunic. She took a handful of it and pulled it up. "Yes it's yours, do you mind?"

"No, but why did you wear it?" he rejoined and assisted her as she was trying to get him off his clothing.

The moment she saw his naked body, her palms sailed on it relishing on the tightness of his muscles under his soft skin. "It smells like home. Your scent comforts me. If you are not here, I'll use the next best thing and this tunic was perfect." Her voice tickled his spine.

He swallowed hard. "What are you wearing under it?"

Her small hands circled around his waist and found the strings of his trousers. "Absolutely nothing my love."

He looked at her feeling tackled down by this small woman. A few gentle kisses and her words about his scent were enough to get him ready for her. So ready that he felt painfully uncomfortable as she gave him a hungry look that twisted his stomach into tight knots. His fingers twirled through her long hair and caressed her head as he leaned down to kiss her again. This time his kiss had such a fiery undertone of longing that it made her gasp in desperate need for more air. His other hand slid down her chest and caressed the peak of her breast as his tongue twisted in a dance of heat around hers. When he felt it hardening and her breath becoming sharper he moved his hand to the hem of her tunic and buried it underneath until he could smooth his rough palm on her naked taut peak. She hissed and in reply his palm took a handful of her firm breast and pressed gently. Each knead on it made his stomach twist and the bulge at the front of his trousers become painful, especially since her hands were struggling to open up the strings and free him. He stopped her short by pulling the tunic over her head and revealing her warm naked body. The longing to pull the blanket up and bury himself between her legs was so strong that he heaved.

"Don't look at me like that," he whispered, unable to stop himself.

She smiled coyly. "You feel under scrutiny my lord?"

"I feel under severe heat, which borders to uncomfortable," he raised his brow.

"That is a serious advantage for both of us at this moment," she smirked.

"Are you even okay to try this tonight?" he said with a tone of care that warmed up her heart.

"I won't be able to rest until I have you." Her soft hands skimmed up to his stomach and her fingers drew a few slow circles as he lowered himself and gave her a gentle peck which she instantly reciprocated by opening her mouth and thrusting her tongue in him passionately. He tore himself away from her mouth long enough to come down to her breast and offer it the wet attention she was seeking all afternoon. When his mouth engulfed it her hands forgot about the task of freeing him and grabbed his shoulders for support. Her nails came out and dug onto his skin with fiery approval. He moved to her other breast as his hand got buried between her thighs and found her womanhood. Her lips opened up and sucked greedily on his clavicle as she cooed him on with soft words of love. When his fingers passed through her folds and found her wet heat welcoming him, her teeth replaced her lips and she took a large bite out of him before whispering. "I don't want any foreplay tonight Thorin. I need you." Her hands remembered their original job and came down to pull his trousers open. She burrowed her small fingers through the opening and enclosed his virility in her hungry palms feeling it pulsate and he sighed in satisfaction.

Her mouth watered with the need for him. She didn't know how overwhelming her arousal could become because of her pregnancy and she didn't know how to handle her hunger for him at that moment. The way her body reacted to him was profound. Her natural need for this man got so enhanced by her pregnancy that her want was dripping down the inside of her thighs as he was working her up softly. This night she didn't want him buried between her thighs, lapping her to submission. She didn't want to go down on him in order to see his face break into a thousand pieces of ecstasy as she had done several times after she took up the courage. She wanted him to fill her up and bring her over as only he knew how. The pain of her internal muscles became so severe that she quivered.

"Come here." She whispered feeling out of breath already and released his arousal long enough to pull him under the covers. He settled between her legs without even taking off his trousers and she pulled the blanket over him. She desired to feel his body and the quilt engulfing her with their warmth. His length poked the inside of her thigh as his hand continued it's torment and his mouth disengaged her breasts in order to take over her tender neck.

She was trembling with anticipation and counted internally as images of their baby, of how much she loved him and how much she wanted him overlapped each other. Each thought was feeding her carnal need more and more. When finally he pulled his hand away from her womanhood she whimpered in objection, but he didn't allow her the time to feel empty at all. His erection spread her open and filled her up so deeply that every sound seized and every thought in her mind merged into a single beam of light.

She flushed her cheek onto his and her nails clawed his biceps making sure that he wasn't going to go anywhere but deeper inside her. He loved her so sensually slow that she was left praying that he'd never stop from the first moment that he began moving. Her eyes teared up at the thought that the man who was assisting her body to climb up the ladder of ecstasy was the father of her baby. His solid frame pinned her against the mattress, as his hips coaxed her most sensitive spot to the point of obedience and her mind to the point of oblivion. Even though she tried to make him pick up speed he persisted to drive in her with the same tormentingly slow passion. Making her lose track of time and space. The sweet spot he was hitting inside with each plunge was sucking all the air out of her lungs and it was only when he drew back out that she was allowed to inhale another breath of life.

He prevailed over her patiently, never wavering from that torturously slow rhythm even though her hands had burrowed under his trousers and had cupped his buttocks in order to force him to go faster. His lips traced ever inch of her jawline and skimmed past her neck and no matter how much she writhed and arched and twisted under him he didn't go faster. Instead he dove deeper, waking up lustful moans from her chest. With ceaseless endurance against her tries to stimulate him to a breaking point he led both her and himself past the point of no return. Her body tightened under him once more ready to give up everything for him, only this time her undoing felt that it was also going to stop her heart by it's intensity exactly because the leisurely pace with which he was enticing the orgasm out of her, had build up her arousal to unbearable heights.

She wrapped her arms behind his neck and drew him down to her until their lips crashed. Then she exhaled sharply. "Faster, please."

His breath was clashing against hers with the same intensity. "Slower." He whispered and captured her bottom lip between his teeth.

The moan that came out of her mouth made him squeeze his eyes tight and his knuckles turned white around her buttocks as he tried to keep her hips steady. "This is pure torture..." She mumbled and tears sprang out of her closed eyelids. As if there was a lake contained behind them all her life ready to be released under this man's extraordinary affection. She wanted to speak to him about the intensity of her feelings but only a broken whisper with his name came out as another deep thrust made her eyes blur and her heart thud erratically under her chest.

His hand wrapped around her small one firmly and led her palm to the centre of his chest. "The sweetest torture of my life." His rich voice barely penetrated her clogged ears and her fingers curled protectively around his skin. She felt his galloping heartbeat and suddenly her hand became the most sensitive part of her body counting his every pulse. Another lunge and her sweet spot made her eyes roll to the back of her head and her mouth drop open. He pulled back and she inhaled deeply. When he thrust in her again she erupted with such intensity that she saw stars in her eyes as her body shook hard under the quake he had triggered in her. He didn't stop to delight in her pleasure like he usually did and continue this time. Her explosion grabbed him by the lapels and drew him over the edge with her. His heavy groan of release was barely heard under her loud cries of pure ecstasy.

She still counted his heartbeats as he came down from the heavens grinding desperately in her. Longing to shed every single ounce of need into her pulsating heat. She counted inwards to calm her own irregular heartbeat, still uncertain that she was going to survive this euphoria he offered her this evening. Her arms and legs were painfully wrapped around him long after her body stopped shaking. Long after she regained partial control of her muscles and minimal control of her mind. Never mind her voice. When that came out it sounded strange. "I love you."

"I love too. Are you alright?" he pulled back and looked down at her.

She opened up her eyelids. When his face came into focus her heart fluttered and her stomach bubbled up. "Oh Eru, I love you so much," she whispered, not even having heard his question.

His fingers came up to clear the sweaty hair from her forehead. "Me too my beautiful Eilin. Never doubt that."

"I have so much I want to share with you," her fingers came up to to trace his mouth.

A small shadow of doubt passed from his brow, but she didn't see it. "Tell me. You can tell me anything."

"Be patient with me, please," she begged and offered him a wholehearted smile.

"I will be as patient as you need me, but the last couple of weeks there has been a shadow of secrecy lingering between us and I worry. It is not good to keep secrets from each other," he sounded affectionally scolding.

"I am not keeping secrets from you my love. I need to feel ready to speak about my most intimate thoughts." She whispered without realising that as she was relaxing under him, he was tensing and he had no one to comfort him back. Her words were anything but soothing.

He placed a soft kiss at the side of her temple. "Take your time my precious."

She snuggled in his arms and closed her eyes. "I feel tired does that sound strange?"

He gave her a guarded look. "Considering you slept most of the day, I'd say yes. Are you sure you are not falling ill again?"

She shook her head. "Not at all. I feel on top of the world!"

"Then sleep and I shall remain guard." His voice fell as he kissed the top of her head.

She rubbed her cheek on his lower neck and sleep overtook her quickly. He remained thoughtful above her, his fingers twisting gently through her hair for a long time. When he decided to abandon their bed in order to get a cup of water his foot stepped on something that made him look down. He observed the scroll Balin gave him. The one he had tucked onto his belt and completely forgot about. He picked it up and came close to the fire. He rested on his shins and unfolded it. As he read the few sentences on it a shadow of doubt covered his brow and he looked up sharply at the bed where Eilin was sleeping safely. Then he looked back down at the message.

"My King,

I have some important information to share about your One. If you want to learn the truth about her meet me tonight at the forest of the River Running, at the three entwined barks. When the bell strikes the third and final call for the night I will be there.

A loyal servant of your majesty."

When he reread the few lines he looked up and the shadow of doubt slowly transformed into a cloud of darkness. A tentacle of fear hooked on his stomach. Who would want to share information about Eilin with him? Maybe this was someone toying with them after Thorin's official declaration that he intended to wed this woman. He had been expecting some sort of retaliation, so this message shouldn't have shocked him as much as it did.

His initial reaction was to crumble it between his fingers and throw it to the fire. It singed a little, but then rolled to the grating away from the blazing heat and remained there relatively unharmed. He decided to ignored it and sat on the armchair. Then he tried to settle down the doubts that Eilin's secrecy had been causing him, which combined now with this unexpected message had grown tenfold. His heart was going back and forth, between his certainty that Eilin's secrecy held nothing harmful behind it and that this message was nonsense, to the doubts that returned again and again to eat him up from the inside out.

Was her secrecy and this message connected? Maybe he was becoming crazy about all this or maybe not, but the more he sat on that armchair trying to stop his hands from fidgeting around his water mug the more nervous he became. When the bell chimed the second call of the night he was convinced that all this was a figment of his imagination. That it meant nothing. He stood up intending to go back to bed and forget the singed scroll, but before even taking one step towards her, he stopped and looked down at it. The hook of fear on his stomach pulled him sharply making him wince. He stood frozen wavering between the bed and the fire hearth for a long time. When the bell chimed the final call for the night, he had already put on his boots, tunic and vest and was holding the scroll tightly between his fingers.

He gave one last anxious look towards the bed and closed the door quietly behind him.


	41. Tempest

As the golden bell's resonance inside the huge caverns of the city was falling silent, Thorin was ordering the guards to open the gates. When he walked outside, the frozen blast of the violent snow storm made him momentarily reluctant to continue. What was he doing so late standing outside his kingdom, pursuing a vague message from someone he didn't know? Why did he decide to come despite the knowledge that he was not going to learn anything good about Eilin? No one that wanted to communicate lovely things about his woman would have asked him to meet in an isolated spot away from the main gates, in the middle of a blizzard. The whole deal reeked of an eerie undertone that made his skin crawl.

Logical course of action would be to turn on his heels, order the doors locked and burrow himself into their bed to feel Eilin's warm skin against his. Instead of standing out here having his long hair whiplashing his set face under the icy gusts of wind, he should have been drinking some mead, appreciating how hard she had unfolded her pleasure for him this evening. How monumental her unraveling had been. Yet, her words about secrets came once more to gnaw his mind like fiends and this message was not laying his worries to rest.

His jawline flexed. "No one comes in or goes out without giving their name and profession." His voice rumbled with the precursor of seething anger towards this messenger of doom.

The guards exchanged an alarmed look, "no scribers are awake to take names my lord this evening."

"Don't you know how to write?" Thorin appraised the guard with a fixed look.

"I will take in names my Lord!" The guard bowed respectfully.

Thorin tilted his head haughtily and turned his gaze at the snowy whirlwind in front of him.

"Your majesty the weather is intolerable. Not to be travelled on foot". The second guard took up the courage to speak, giving his friend a look of concern.

Thorin wrapped his coat tightly around him even though the famous dwarven resilience to extreme temperatures made it hard for him to feel any cold. "Lock the gates!" he commanded and began an irritated walk towards the appointed place. Every step his heavy boots took was accompanied by a prayer to the maker for this message to be a hoax. He prayed that he had been successfully duped out of the warm embrace of Eilin and into a true snow storm for nothing.

By the time he was approachingthe iconic tree something irked him to look back. The blazing monstrous fires at the flanks of Erebor's gates were almost invisible behind the white blanket that covered everything. There was complete darkness around him and above all silence. The muted sounds of the snowy forest that he always enjoyed so much, tonight felt forlorn. He entered the forest that surrounded the River Running and looked for the damned tree. It took him many tries to locate it and when he came next to it he leaned his body on those barks already feeling a complete idiot for doing this. For certain he was going to return to Eilin in a sort while without any dark messages related to him. He will sit down on his armchair and enjoy her steady breathing with a cup of mead in his hands. Then he will get under the covers and sleep until noon. He will remember tonight's stupidity and chastise himself for falling for the oldest trick in the book. An anonymous creepy message.

Now that he was there the ridiculousness of this situation came to rub him off the wrong way. Maybe as a person he was stubbornly outrageous at times. Unbending and abrasive, but he was not a man easily tricked. His mind was always quick and sharp and he had been raised to read between the lines since he was a child. He always saw everything around him as part of a strategic plan. Attack or defence. Planing several moves ahead if not until the end of the game most of the times. He was not easily losing control of any situation that needed his attention and all his actions, but very few, were deliberate as part of a bigger scheme.

He felt bothered that at this moment he was anything but in control. Whoever had managed to drag him out in this wretched weather, had taken all control out of his hands and Thorin abhorred that. Brooding heavily with these thoughts he had all but decided to return to Erebor in order to down a bottle of mead and punish himself for his idiocy, when a solemn voice made him almost jump out of his skin.

"Your majesty, you came".

He had to suffocate a groan of defeat and the momentary wave of fear quickly got replaced by aggravation. He straightened and turned to see his interlocutor that was hiding behind the tree when the voice stopped him. "No please my lord. I do not wish to show my face."

"I will look at the face of the man who wants to reveal information about my One or else I leave. Take care this risky endeavour doesn't backfire on you." Thorin's voice was contemptous.

He almost felt the waves of hesitation from the other side of the bark. It was good to regain some form of control, especially when he didn't know what was going to come out of that man's mouth. "Don't take too long to decide. I haven't got all night." The tone of warning was crystal clear.

He heard the shuffling of boots and a much shorter dwarf appeared before him. He had his head bowed low and his hands crossed in front of his thighs. His posture looked more befitting for a dwarfling that had been caught with his hand in a mug full of honey, instead of someone who was promising to share secrets about Eilin. "Let me see your face." Thorin's tone was scornful.

The man lifted up his head and Thorin's stomach felt a sudden jab of jealousy. This was a seriously good looking dwarf standing in front of him and way younger than him. What would such a dwarf know about Eilin that Thorin didn't know already? "Your name." The order was clear.

The man shook his head. "Please my Lord allow me the anonymity. There are other souls in danger from what I am about to do who are not in fault whatsoever."

Thorin's brow went up and his stomach dropped low. "Your precious anonymity will not add credibility to your words."

"Listen to my words first and judge afterwards if I am speaking of the truth." The man said quickly.

Thorin felt his nape crawling with apprehension. Now suddenly the need to get back to Erebor became almost dire. He didn't want to wait for this dwarf to reveal grim secrets about Eilin. A childish reaction came up for a brief moment and made him scowl. He resisted the urge to place his hands on his ears and pretend he wasn't going to listen. This was not a night when he was going to return to Erebor happy, was it? He remained silent, but his piercing glare never wavered from the man's face. Thorin used his tall stature to overpower his interlocutor by posture alone, even though he felt as if the stranger's oncoming words were going to defeat him on the spot. "I am waiting." His voice was cold.

A new delay came from Nyrthrasir as he gathered up his thoughts. "I arrived a month a go approximately to Erebor from the Ironhills my lord…"

Thorin's stern voice stopped him. "I didn't leave my warm bed to enter a blizzard in order to learn your story. Speak of the message or else hold your tongue."

Nyrthrasir raised his hand. "Listen to me my lord and everything will make sense in the end."

Thorin raised his brow loftily, but remained silent.

"I arrived here with my wife my lord. She is the one who is not at fault in this triangle and needs to be protected. Thus is the reason I am not revealing my name to your highness." Nyrthrasir bowed.

"Triangle?" Thorin's mouth grew bitter and his voice lost it's stony quality for a moment.

Another long silence as if the man was trying to decide what to say. Thorin felt the need to grab him by the lapels and throttle the words out of his mouth, but he remained immovable with great difficulty until the man finally spoke. "Before meeting my wife in the Ironhills I had been part of a vagabond dwarven company that roamed from city to city, trying to get a descent job."

"I really don't care," Thorin rebuked stiffly.

"You shall understand. Allow me my lord, please." Nyrthrasir bowed.

Thorin's nose flared.

Nyrthrasir on seeing the King remaining silent gathered up whatever had remained of his courage and thought of his pregnant wife and the innocent child in her loins. "On the road we resided in many taverns. One of them was the Forsaken Inn. Maybe you have heard it or possibly been in it?"

Thorin felt the blood draining from his face.

"I am sure you have. There was a girl working there. Half dwarrowdam, half human. Name was Eilin. She was working as a part time prostitute along with her best friend Rhiannon, but she was also helping around the premises as a maiden and of course she was performing songs for the entertainment of the customers," Nyrthrasir continued and his heart was palpitating.

Thorin felt something closing down tight inside him at those words and a soft exhalation of vanquishment left his mouth. He didn't dare speak.

"One of my downfalls had always been that I had an eye for beauty. I was wavering back and forth between Eilin and Rhiannon, because they were both equally beautiful. One was a red headed siren that resembled the most astonishing Elven maidens, the other a raven headed sorceress that could steal your soul. Finally I chose Eilin. I paid once for her services which pleased me so much that I became a regular customer. It is dishonourable my lord, but please don't judge me. I was young and foolish."

Thorin's lips curled in hatred and adrenaline suddenly pumped through his veins.

"Up to that point everything was compliant. Our relationship was professional. I paid, she provided. The problems started when I began feeling for her and she began feeling for me. You see I fell in love with her shortly after and she reciprocated my feelings, but this girl had always a sweet tooth for gold, for the big life so to say. I was penniless, so our story didn't go far. She broke up with me one evening with the excuse that I was not enough for her anymore. The only thing I could do was leave, you know what I mean?"

"Yes", Thorin answered without ever intending to. His eyes had fled from the man's face and were stuck at the half frozen river bank. He was looking at the waters running fast between the icy crystals. His body was becoming colder with each word this man uttered.

Nyrthrasir felt his throat closing down when he understood that he had the King's most solemn attention for one of the most despicable things he had ever done in his life. "I left and never looked back. I arrived in the Ironhills and settled down with my beloved wife. Nothing would have gone wrong had we remained back in Lord Dain's stronghold, but we decided to pursue our happiness under the rule of the legendary Longbeards." he bowed.

Thorin felt his back crawling, "get on with it…." He hissed.

Nyrthrasir nodded. "I saw Eilin again my lord. I saw her by your side and my heart fled my body and rushed off to her faster than my will. I cannot expect you to understand."

Thorin felt his eyes welling. But he could understand. He could understand that feeling only too well.

"I tried to keep away from her, but she noticed me also my lord and one thing led to the other so quickly that we both lost control...Repeatedly," Nyrthrasir whispered. He was unable to speak those words boldly enough. They were cutting through him as much as they were cutting through the King.

Thorin felt a blinding pain erupting in his chest that made his mouth dry out. "You lost control?" he whispered with a menacing undertone that made Nyrthrasir tremble.

The man nodded without daring to look at the King.

"Under my roof?!" Thorin continued.

Nyrthrasir came down to one knee. "I couldn't help myself my lord and neither could she. Forgive me…please forgive me."

He had to take in several strained breaths to be able to speak again, but his voice was hushed. "Why should I ever believe you? I don't even know your name. I should cut you down for trying to stain the honour of this woman instead of hearing you spill a river of excrements from your filthy mouth." The fury that he had been trying to keep bottled up as that man described his relationship with Eilin couldn't be contained anymore. His hand came up to draw his sword and act his words when the man reached up and gave him something.

"This belongs to her my lord," Nyrthrasir's voice broke.

Thorin's fingers loosened around the hilt of the Orcrist and reached down to take that piece of cloth. "What is this?"

"Her baby belt."

Thorin's hand jerked away as if it had touched fire. "No. It's not." He shook his head.

Nyrthrasir raised it further up urging him to take it. "It is hers my lord. She gave it to me as a love token in a moment of passion back at the tavern."

"She had lost this in the fields..." Thorin felt confused and unable to get a grip on his thoughts.

"No, she gave it to me. Show it to her. She'll recognise it immediately." Nyrthrasir insisted.

Thorin shook his head and reached down to it. His fingers curled around the overwork material and he picked it up. "That's not enough. It's hardly enough to make me believe you." He tried to sound convincing, but the seed of doubt had already been planted deep inside him and it was slowly taking up roots.

"She has the most adorable beauty mark on the inside of her right thigh. It's a misshapen heart." Nyrthrasir felt his mouth growing bitter and tears streamed down his eyes. Tears that he was lucky Thorin never saw.

Thorin's heart was in true physical pain. His hand tightened and the back of his fist rammed onto Nyrthrasir's face so hard that the man got catapulted several feet away and landed onto the ground like rag-doll. He spat out all his front teeth and felt his broken nose throbbing with excruciating pain. It was dripping rivers of blood onto the snow. Thorin inhaled deeply trying to calm down his erratic heartbeat, "enough!" He cried almost in anguish.

Nyrthrasir tried to pull himself up not caring about the mind numbing pain on his face and that his head was swimming with faint, just from that single blow out of Thorin's furious hand. "I did something unspeakable with your One my lord. I deserve to die, but I will implore you to spare my wife and our unborn child. She conceived when we arrived in Erebor. Please, have mercy my lord…..have mercy on her!"

Thorin turned the other way, not wanting to see or hear him anymore.

Nyrthrasir crawled up to the King on hands and knees leaving a heavy trail of blood under him. "I could have remained silent, but I have seen how selfless you are to your people. How honourable you act for your Kingdom. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I have dishonoured you under your own roof. I couldn't have lived knowing that I allowed you to marry a disloyal woman. A former prostitute. I couldn't have lived with a clear conscience my lord. Now that I have spoken the truth to you, please put me out of my misery. Be merciful and kill me, but please spare the truth from my wife. Tell her I died honourably in battle, I beg you!" Nyrthrasir broke down completely in front of Thorin's feet.

Thorin's jawline flexed. "You came to throw my world into ruins and you bestow the well being of your pregnant wife in my hands? What evil spawned you? Get the hell away from me."

Nyrthrasir looked up and tried to wipe the streams of tears that fell from his eyes. "Kill me, for I will not be able to live with what I have done to both you and my wife. Kill me, have mercy!" These words were the only honest ones that came out of his mouth that evening.

"Leave!" Thorin spat.

"Please show me mercy by running your sword through me..." Nyrthrasir sobbed.

"Get a noose around your neck and make sure it's done cleanly. I don't want any mess in my Kingdom from your death." the coldness of Thorin's voice send the final blow on Nyrthrasir.

The man cupped his mouth to stifle his cry of pain and run off into the darkness. Needing to hide from the King, from the King's One, from his wife, but above all from himself for what he had done.

If someone asked Thorin how he felt at that moment he wouldn't know what to answer. It seemed that every single cell on his body was in physical pain and that his soul had taken a dive into the murkiest waters. His heart was drumming and he was sweating profusely. He opened up his coat and pressed his chest with a pained hiss. If he didn't know any better, he would have bet that his heart came very close to giving up on him. The shocking revelations of this man came to assault him once more and he gritted his teeth against the agony that reeked havoc onto his body and mind. He leaned back against the tree and tried to breathe desperately. Each inhalation required a valiant effort in order to pass through his tight throat.

Eilin was a prostitute and an unfaithful liar?

Everything she had given him had felt so real and honest that his mind was refusing to believe the words of this man even though Thorin was holding her baby belt. Or wasn't it? He looked at it and his lips curled down. He wouldn't be able to know unless he confronted Eilin and he was not ready to do that in his current mindset. He was far from being well enough to attempt a conversation with Eilin at this moment. His head was filled with suppressed rage. It was not clear and composed. The fact that this man knew an intimate birth mark on Eilin's naked body came over to undo him. His adrenaline filled veins took over every single ounce of reason and commanded him to storm Erebor and find Nyrthrasir. He felt overcome by the urge to slice this dwarf in half for ever daring to own such personal information about Eilin's precious body.

One part of him was screaming that this was all made up. That he was going to show the belt to Eilin and she'd smile confused, telling him that this didn't belong to her. That this filth had dug up information about her body from some dame that looked secretly at Eilin as she was taking a bath in the servant hot springs. That all this was made up in order to break the King and his One by someone that held a heavy grudge on them. Then the other part of his mind took over again. The part that filled him with rage and an uncontrollable need to destroy everything in his path in order to find out the truth.

That part scared him.

He rested on his shins and covered his ears, but it was too late now. He had already heard how a nightmare sounded and was unable to put it behind him.

It took him a very long time to settle the original shock that caused him severe shortness of breath and aching on his chest. He kept kneeling against the bark trying to regulate his heartbeat and the throbbing pain that was also beginning to form behind his eyes. Tonight he listened to the worst things his mind could have ever possibly imagined for the woman that he loved more than life and he didn't know how to deal with the cascade of emotions that were ramming him from all sides. He had never come across anything so unexpectedly painful, short of Siv's death, and his mind was denying him the opportunity to work through this logically. His eyes closed and he gritted his teeth against his inability to pull himself together.

It was his fingers rubbing against the threadbare leather lining on her belt that made his thoughts focus into something less painful than the torturous images that Nyrthrasir had created for him. He opened up his eyes and turned the small belt around. His fingers traced what felt like a set of runes. Suddenly all his inability to handle the inflicted anguish on his heart got a new focus that felt a little more manageable. The need to see the inscriptions on that belt became rather important.

He remembered little from his brisk walk back, but when he arrived at the gates his coat was fully open revealing an also open tunic and a heavily sweaty skin even though he was covered in snow. He shed off his coat the moment he entered and discarded it next to gates. "Names!" He barked.

"Only one man my lord. Nyrthrasir. Lieutenant of the new army of Erebor under prince Fili." The guard placed his first above his heart.

"If I am not mistaken he is an old friend of commander Dongar. He was awfully bloody and could barely walk. He looked as if he came head to head with a rabid warg. We offered him help, but he denied it." the other guard added.

Thorin's eyes fell heavily on the guard and he remained immovable for a very uncomfortable amount of time, making them confused as to what to do next. Finally he spoke with a voice that reverberated on the wide cavern ominously. "Lock the bleeding gates!"

He walked up to his office, looking like a raging wolf. He kicked his door in and approached his fire. He leaned close and looked at the inside of the baby belt. His heavy brows wavered in confusion.

"I've seen this before," he whispered.

These runes were ancient. This was quite possibly a secret Khuzdul name scribed in the most ancient rune system he could recall from the books of the elders. He remembered that his father had various scrolls that deciphered these ancient runes enclosed in a safe in his grandfather's study. He stood up and rampaged through the whole place preferring to take out his wrath on inanimate objects instead of people. He opened and closed every single drawer and cupboard he could find. He knew what the key looked like, but he hadn't seen it since he was a young prince. He couldn't remember where he father used to hide it. Furious by his inadequacy and his continuous loss of control over tonight's events, he went through the drawers again. Taking out scrolls, pens and seals furiously as if it was their fault that his world came crumbling down tonight.

Just when he was about to give up, he saw the key under a pile of thick scrolls at one of the bottom drawers of his desk. He took it and stormed the dark corridors of a deeply restful Erebor as if he was the whirlwind that was tearing nature to pieces outside the gates.

He passed through his restored throne room and unlocked his grandfather's study. The soft voice of Eilin came to undo him the moment he was closing the door behind him and she was lucky it had only been in his mind, because he was not going to treat her fairly if she found him now.

_"I've got secrets that I want to share with you but I am not ready yet. You need to be patient."_

Secrets. Did her secrets by any chance had to do with that handsome dwarf who told Thorin with so much regret that they have become intimate under his roof during the last month? Had she become intimate with her former lover when she was also intimate with him? The blood mounted on his cheeks and rushed to his head with such speed that he crashed the heavy door behind him almost bringing the whole thing down from the casing. The fiery dwarven blood in him woke up with a scream and urged him to bring down the whole study not just the door. Rip it apart from wall to wall and from floor to ceiling with an axe, or why not, better with his bare hands. He wanted to make immense noise with his body, since his mouth was unable to do so. He wanted to wake up everyone in Erebor, but mostly the one that was sleeping in his rooms. Wake her up and demand answers. Demand from her that she didn't recognise this baby belt. Demand from her to convince him that everything he heard tonight was a lie.

 _A damned lie!_ the furious voice in his head rumbled.

 _That filth knew her naked body!_ the traitorous voice reminded him,  _he knew details from her past. Her best friend Rhiannon. He gave you her baby belt and you know she'll recognise it!_ the voice continued as he stopped in front of the reinforced safe and unlocked it.

"She won't. She will not recognise it," he retorted to his mind.

_She will...This man knew too much about her already. It was exactly what Balin had been telling you, you bloody fool. She came onto you because of your position. Of your gold. Not because of you..._

_"_ No! Eilin is not like that. She loves me," he whispered furiously.

 _She loves the fact that you are the King of this golden city!_  his mind rejoined and those words were enough loosened up his knees as he emptied piles of scrolls upon the large desk and he had to catch himself at the side of it to keep from falling down.

Even the thought that Eilin might have attached herself to him, because of the King and not the man, made him lose every single ounce of anger and his heart to fill up instantly with desolation. He looked down at the gathered scrolls and his eyes watered up so quickly that he was unable to read the written words on them. There was only one way to get out of this study in one piece without going through his rooms first and passing over to Eilin the chaos that Nyrthrasir had passed onto him tonight.

He had to concentrate on something that didn't hurt so much. The baby belt. The runes. He stood in front of the scrolls that flooded his desk and felt his throat becoming dry at what he had made himself do. Instead of waking up Eilin and having an adult conversation with her about what happened, he preferred to get overpowered by adrenaline that called him to destroy. He chose to bury himself under ancient scrolls in order to figure out the runes on the back of that baby belt instead of straight out asking her if she recognised it. That would have dispersed every fear for him, right?

But what if she did recognise it?

That would have given him the final blow that would have send him to an early grave.

He sat down and took the baby belt in his hands. His brows furrowed as his fingers skimmed above the runes and immediately he began the cumbersome task of research. Something he hadn't done since he was a prince here when he was studying meticulously the Elder scrolls. Apparently his ability to concentrate deeply hadn't abandoned him. It was an unexpected gift that allowed him to be pulled away from the wrathful agony that tormented him ever since Nyrthrasir spoke. Without realising that he had chosen the best way to calm down, he passed most of the remaining night buried under piles of open scrolls that occupied every surface of the desk and also the floor next to his boots.

His eyes didn't stop reading even though they felt stingy, dry and immensely tired. The more he researched the more his hunger for blood began dissipating, giving it's place to reason. The fire in his heart cooled down and gave way to doubt about the honesty of this man's words. A doubt that felt welcome after the torrent of emotions he went through that evening. As he picked up the next scroll and his eyes thinned on some dusty old text at the bottom of it, he felt an almost soothing certainty that all this had been made up by this man. He felt almost reassured that his beloved wouldn't recognise the belt. It was almost transparent to him that all those times she confessed her love for him, that she had shown her unwavering worry and loyalty had been real. That all those times she came undone under him hadn't been a figment of his imagination. Eilin loved him.

_Almost..._

_Who told you she cannot love him also though?_ the traitorous part of his mind made the dormant rush of adrenaline reawaken for a brief moment, which lasted little under the sudden recognition of the rune he had been searching for. His mouth dropped open slightly as he pulled back in order to see better. He placed his finger on the rune and then looked at the carving on the belt. It was indeed one and the same. His brows rose to the top of his head as he read the text that was next to it.

"Telchar was one of the greatest smiths in the First Age of Middle-earth. His master and teacher was Gamil Zirak the old. Telchar was commonly regarded amongst the greatest smiths of all times save only Fëanor and Celebrimbor. Among his works were the knife Angrist, the sword Narsil and the Dragon-helm of Dor-lómin."

"Telchar?" he muttered and leaned back at his chair. His finger pinched the bridge of his nose and he closed his eyes. That couldn't be right. The timelines didn't align. Telchar lived in the First Age, it was impossible he was related to Eilin, or that the belt belonged to her for that matter. Unless the belt was carved with this ancient rune on purpose, allowing those who had access to secret knowledge the opportunity to learn that this child belonged to one of Telchar's descendants. He shook his head and leaned it back unable to concentrate on anything else. He sat like that totally abandoned into his exhaustion, with the hook of fear tearing his insides apart torturously slow, until he heard the golden bell of Erebor call on the first break of dawn. That is when his eyes flew open and a new rush of adrenaline overtook him.

Soon enough the city would be awake. Soon enough Eilin would be too. Soon enough she would search for him and what would he tell her then? Was he ready to reveal to her what he learned tonight? Was he ready to risk her recognising this damned belt and throwing his world into the fires of Mount Doom forever? He was not ready to face her. He needed time to settle down the fury that was ready to erupt in the slightest cause. He didn't trust himself to face Eilin at this moment. His need to believe that all this had been made up was barely winning over his doubts that Nyrthrasir's words held some kind of honesty behind them.

He didn't want to face his beloved with this much anger and bitterness. He was not going to be able to mask them well enough for her. She'd know that something was wrong. He needed to get away from Erebor, if only for a little while. He needed to get his head back together. Calm his wrath and set his thoughts back in order. Regain some of the control tonight's events had cost him. He didn't want to see Eilin in this terrifying mind frame and he certainly didn't want to search and find Nyrthrasir. He didn't trust himself not to kill in cold blood not caring about that man's pregnant wife. His fury was blinding him. He was dangerous like this, too dangerous to be around.

Knowing that only one thing would be able to handle his ferocity now, he stood up and took the belt. He forgot his grandfather's study unlocked and returned to his messed up office. Not seeing the chaos he created last night in his manic need to find the key and to take out his frustration upon the harmless objects, he locked the belt on the most secure drawer and took that key with him.

Then he went into the armoury and chose a leather vest and gloves. He overlooked any heavy armour and the mithril vest that Bilbo had given back, tormented by guilt about what happened to Thorin up in Ravenhill. Not even comprehending that this small rare mithril vest would never fit Thorin's wide frame. He girded himself up and placed the Orcrist into the sheathe at his back. His walk to the entrance was unobstructed. It was too early yet for anyone to be out and about, but as expected after his orders last night Fili, Durar and Dain were getting a mounted brigade ready for the march up to Ered Mithrin.

"What are you doing awake so early uncle?" Fili came over worried when he saw Thorin approaching, deadly pale but determined.

"Haven't slept," Thorin rejoined.

"You are definitely looking under the weather my lord," Durar noticed.

"White as a corpse," Dain shook his head.

Thorin looked at the mounted men, "I am coming with you."

Fili frowned, "you are in no condition to fight yet. You are still healing."

"Don't patronise me, son. You are relieved of this command. You will return to Erebor and rule it in my stead." Thorin's voice was scathing.

Fili gritted his teeth angrily. "I am not letting you go alone out there. You might die in your still fragile condition. Remember what happened during the furnace accident?"

"I remember we saved many lives and lost few. Do you remember different?" Thorin's gaze became harsh.

"This is a folly," the disquiet of Fili's voice didn't touch the King.

Thorin's countenance remained impassive. "A folly it will be for me to remain here."

Fili approached and grabbed his uncle's bicep. "You look awful. Tell me what happened, because it is clear that something did." His voice was thankfully hushed.

"The only thing that is happening is your over active imagination my boy. Now buckle up, because ruling Erebor is a far harder task than cutting down orcs, and let me have my fun." Thorin forced a smile upon his dry lips, but his stomach complained.

"You may think you have an advantage over me since you raised me like a father." Fili lingered.

Thorin raised his brow.

"But a son knows his father by heart also. You maybe convincing Dain and Durar that you suddenly took personal interest in this operation, but you are not convincing me. Who did this to you?" Fili's voice filled with anger towards whoever had apparently attacked his uncle.

Thorin felt his eyes welling and he gritted his teeth against the feeling. "Let me handle this my own way."

"Who made you look like a step from death?" Fili hissed.

"Keep your voice down," the cold warning came to flatten Fili's galloping fury.

"Who made you run away from the Mountain so suddenly?" Fili rebuked.

"I am not running away," Thorin rejoined, even though he was doing exactly that.

"Have you seen yourself in a mirror?" Fili frowned.

"Not for many years," Thorin's lips curled up.

"Don't joke!" Fili spat.

"Don't over react!" Thorin reached out and grasped Fili's arm like a vice.

"You are in no condition to go out in a bloody snow storm in order to fight orcs. You are going to die out there and I will never forgive myself for allowing you to leave." Fili's gaze was so devoted and loving that Thorin's heart took a step back on seeing the distress of his boy.

"Don't underestimate me please. Everything is going to be alright." He gave Fili an honest smile.

The boy felt his shoulders deflating, "who can ever underestimate the legendary Oakenshield?"

"Himself and he's the harshest judge of them all." Thorin replied quietly.

Fili inhaled and squared his shoulders towards his uncle once more after that small emotional intermission. "I've seen how distressed you have been with the situation around Eilin."

Thorin tensed.

"Just because I am never saying anything, doesn't mean I don't know what's happening. I am just being discreet." Fili said quietly.

"I know my boy, thank you."

"Seeing you in this deteriorating condition after everything you have been through worries me deeply. I will not allow you to leave alone. I will come with you."

"You are the only one able to rule Erebor in my stead. I've been trying to teach you everything I know at once. I know it might feel overwhelming and the proper way around would have been to study under me for years in order to become efficient, but we don't have this much time. I am overworking you for such occasions as these. You need to take up rule during my absence and also do a good job out of it." Thorin pulled him close and cupped his cheek.

"I don't care being overworked." Fili smiled.

"You have the making of a great ruler. You will not disappoint me" -like I have done to my forefathers _,_ he wished to add, but stopped at the last moment- "Now stop making a big deal out of this."

Fili gritted his teeth and his eyes thinned. "Tell me who made you so miserable! Yesterday you were fine!" He didn't show any signs of relenting in his quest.

Thorin's gaze mellowed up thoughtfully, before he spoke with a hushed tone. "Myself."

Fili frowned unable to find an intelligent answer to that.

"Such are the occasions sometimes when one must take a step back and assess everything with a cool mind. I am not currently so calm, as you have obviously noticed. I need to get out of Erebor before I do things I will regret. You ask what happened. I cannot tell you, but I can assure you that what I am doing now is for the best. Not only for me, but for other people also. Allow me to go slice some orcs and lay your worries to rest. I've been doing this for two hundred years. I am sure I can do it for a couple of hundred more." His voice was calm and collected, no matter the wild thudding of his heart and the hidden wrath that was still ramming at the walls of his soul, trying to bring them down.

Fili scowled in obvious distress. "Your words are meant to quieten me, yet they are doing the exact opposite."

"Trust me to have some vague idea how to handle my cruel side. Have faith in my judgment." Thorin squeezed Fili's arm tight.

The Prince shook his head in denial. "You haven't got a cruel thread in you, what are you talking about?"

Thorin sighed and closed his eyes briefly. "Go inside and take over, please. Enough talking."

It took his nephew several moments to reply, "I'll wake up Dwalin. He needs to come with you."

"Dwalin needs to remain by your side, as is Balin. They belong to Erebor, not on the road now. I have Dain and Durar. More than able commanders, don't you agree?" Thorin struggled to make himself smile one more time. It looked and felt fake.

"What shall I tell mother about your sudden departure?"

"Exactly what happened. I am taking command of this military operation. It's self explanatory really," Thorin's lips turned down. He finally gave up on trying to look pleasant for his boy.

"To Eilin?" Fili whispered.

Thorin paled and Fili noticed, "the same. You say the same." Then before his nephew found a new thread to pull out in order to get to the truth, Thorin turned and spoke to Dain.

"Get me a war ram."

"You won't use your horse my lord?" Durar looked at him confused.

"I want to be on par with my men, commander." He replied with a tight jawline.

Durar's face seemed immensely pleased as Dain brought over the best war ram they owned. A black beast that seemed to exhale fire from it's flaring nostrils. The moment Thorin's fingers twisted around the reins the animal calmed down, as if sensing the order of command.

The King mounted and without another word to his nephew he galloped through the blizzard, overlooking his men that were divided into three lines ready to march. Durar and Dain followed him and soon enough they were at the head of the brigade. He gave the signal and they all began the arduous trek to Ered Mithrin through what was the worst snow storm Thorin had ever witnessed. He gave one last look above his shoulder. The gates of Erebor were falling way back. It's fires looked like two faded orange hues of warmth inside this unbearable cold and his eyes softened a little. When he turned around and concentrated on the deserted road ahead his azure stare seemingly had captured those blazing fires and was now spewing them towards the frozen horizon.


	42. A most unexpected entr'acte

* * *

The next morning instead of waking up in Thorin's arms, feeling his skin against hers and his breath steady under her ear, Eilin found herself sprawled like a starfish with the heavy quilts entangled between her naked thighs. The room was very warm due to the blazing fire under the hearth, but when she squinted towards the drawn curtains, she caught a glimpse of the blizzard whiplashing nature outside. A snow storm that thankfully couldn't touch them inside the safety of Erebor.

"Thorin?" She mumbled hoping that he was somewhere in the room and her freshly awoken mind didn't notice him.

No answer.

It was too early for him to get up in order to take over Erebor, so something must have called on his attention and he left during the early hours of the morning whilst she was asleep. She was beginning to get used to his erratic working hours and him being torn between so many people. He was burdened by obligations her mind was unable to process during every moment of their days and nights. He was not a ruler who was simply sitting on his throne overlooking what everybody else was doing. He was hands on everything that concerned his stronghold inside and outside and he didn't stop to rest until he was satisfied that Erebor was running smoothly. So him rushing off to take care of something in the middle of the night was not that surprising to her.

She stretched contently and felt the soft fabric of the sheets rubbing against the back of her legs. Then she grabbed a pillow, placed it between her legs and snuggled against two more. If she couldn't have him here to cuddle, she'd do it with the pillows. She was ready to close her eyes in order to enjoy her sleep once more, but the gnawing thoughts of what he had done to her last night came to torment her. She forced herself to calm down as they began to warm her up from the inside out.

She tried to fall asleep, but each time the images returned and with them an itch she couldn't scratch. Finally after a good amount of time were she tossed and turned she gave up and pushed the covers away from her naked body. She stood up and rounded the bed in order to pick up her clothes from the armchair and get dressed. Since she couldn't get any sleep, she'd start work early. Then she would have more time with him in the evening to maybe repeat what they did last night. As she was kneeling to pick up her boots, she saw the burned remains of a scroll at the grating on the hearth.

She frowned and leaned closer to take a better look. Why would Thorin burn a scroll in their fireplace? She gazed at it suspiciously for a few moments, trying to decide if she wanted to pick it up or not. If it was a meaningless message why would Thorin go through the trouble of burning it? She pursed her lips and picked it up. Only a single word was untouched under all that soot.

"Truth."

Maybe she could ask him later what this message was all about. She threw it back into the fireplace letting it burn to ashes. Or maybe she shouldn't tell him anything. Why would she get involved in the business of the King? What did she know about messages or any kind of royal duties that Thorin was taking care off all the time? Instead of allowing her mind to create conspiracy theories about that burned scroll she decided to dress up, but as she did a vague thought flashed through her mind and made her stop suddenly. Her eyes fell to the fire that had destroyed the scroll completely.

_Did he leave so early because of this burned scroll perchance? Maybe it was saying something very important that demanded his attention._

"No, come on, don't be an idiot." she reposted.

_Why would he burn it? Maybe he did so because it made him mad about something._

"Or maybe he didn't want anyone to see it!" she rejoined with a hiss.

_Anyone or you? the voice poked._

"Do you have any idea how many messages a King must be getting everyday? Shut up already!" she muttered and kicked her boot in with a tight jawline.

The inner voice fell silent.

"It's not as if I have a clue what it is like to rule a Kingdom. I should mind my own business and not try to stir things," she whispered making sure she had the last word over her mind. Rather pleased that she had managed to shut herself up, she made it for the door, but the moment her hand touched the handle it banged with such urgency that she screeched and took a step back. "What in the name of …" she mumbled.

"My lady, are you in?" It was Loa's voice and it sounded terrified.

Eilin blanched and threw the door open, "Loa?"

The poor woman fell into her arms with a wail of pain that raised Eilin's hair to attention, "my daughter!"

"Calm down! What happened to little Lis?!" Eilin pushed back in order to see the woman's broken features.

The woman began hitting her tight fists upon her temples in hysteria. "I don't know! I woke up to get ready for work. We have so many clothes to wash and then cook lunch and…and…and…" she was clearly unable to get to the point.

Eilin grasped her by the shoulders and jerked her. "Lis! Tell me about Lis!"

Loa looked up at Eilin startled. Much like a dear with an arrow piercing through it's neck. Then her ragged voice resumed to the best of it's ability. "She was not there ma'm! My wee daughter was not sleeping in her bed! I didn't see her when I woke UP!" The last word was screamed to Eilin's face. She looked back at two ladies that had escorted Loa to the King's door. They looked similarly terrified.

"Did you look for her?" She asked the ladies.

They shook their heads, not knowing what to say.

"Everywhere! We've been everywhere that she could have went, but Erebor is massive ma'm. There are places in here that are forbidden for dwarrowdams and dwarflings. Dangerous places where people can die! The mines, the shafts, the bottomless wells, the deepest caverns, the forging stations. She was only allowed to be on the first level, at the kitchens at the royal chambers and outside by the river. I am sure she has scattered off on her own in order to feed her overactive imagination. She loves to explore. She wants to learn how the miners work, the forgers, the masons, the builders, the carvers, the soldiers. Above all the soldiers!" Loa spoke quickly, almost without a single breath.

"The barracks? Have you searched the barracks?" Eilin asked quickly.

"Yes, no one has seen her! You have to help me find her! My darling husband died, if she dies too then nothing will be able to keep me alive! HELP ME!" Loa's face broke and she kneeled in front of Eilin's feet.

Eilin came down and embraced her, "I will help you my dear. I shall not rest until we find her. She's going to be alright. Such a high spirited girl with such courage and bravado cannot not get easily harmed. She's somewhere around Erebor, I am sure. Playing out with us. We need to tell the King."

"He's not here either ma'm," Loa cried and grabbed Eilin's lapels.

Eilin frowned and a wave of fear gripped her stomach. "Thorin is not here?"

"I tried to find him ma'm, but he's nowhere. I asked Prince Fili. He's taken temporary rule of the city!"

Eilin pulled Loa up. "Wait a minute what is going on here this morning? Come follow me," she grasped Loa's hand tightly in hers and pulled her along quickly. Not that the older maiden had an issue with that. She was following Eilin rather eagerly.

When they reached the entrance she saw many of Thorin's comrades gathered there. Her first choice of communication was indisputable. "Lord Dwalin, what is going on?" Her eyes looked up at him in clear worry. Prince Fili was right next to him with crossed arms and a set face.

"Nothing, why?" Dwalin frowned confused.

"Loa's child has gone missing and I am also told the King has gone missing too," Eilin's brows rippled with the necessity to learn.

"I don't know about the child, but the King isn't missing." Dwalin raised his brow.

"Where is he?" Eilin took a step closer to him, but it was Prince Fili that replied to her.

"He's taken over the campaign to Ered Mithrin in my stead." Fili smiled kindly, "Worry not my lady."

Eilin felt ripples of apprehension shaking her core. The Prince seemed nonchalant and so did Lord Dwalin. They looked rather calm, as if taking over a campaign was something Thorin would decide on at the last moment without any preparation whatsoever. He didn't come find her this morning in order to bid her goodbye. He never spoke to her about a campaign last night and considering that he was sharing with her many of his worries about Erebor, she found his behaviour rather unexpected and seriously troubling. Whatever these Lords were thinking, that small detail was escaping them. He would have never left her without a word, had things in the world been as serene as she had left them last night. Something serious had overtaken Thorin's mind in order to make him flee Erebor without a word in the middle of the night. These Lords wouldn't believe her if she tried to convince them, but she decided to make a try. She released Loa's hand and approached Dwalin, "He never told me he was leaving my Lord."

Dwalin pursed his lips. "I comprehend your worry, but you must learn how to deal with the fact that you are engaged to the bloody King of this stronghold. He can change his mind and plans according to what he thinks is best for the Mountain at any given moment and he has to answer to no one. If he chose to relieve Fili of the command and take it on himself then he did it for the best."

Eilin swallowed a suddenly dry throat. "I am not judging his decisions. Just the fact that he didn't tell me goodbye."

Dwalin humphed. "I really like you young lady, but you are reading too much into things." He sounded as dismissive as she was expecting him. Coldly indifferent of something that could potentially be a very serious situation.

Fili turned to her. "Worry not Eilin. He told me to give you his farewell."

She approached the Prince with courage. The sudden apprehension about Thorin erased all her uncertainties about showing a bold conduct towards Thorin's nephew. "Did he look alright? Was he agitated, did he seem worried? Maybe angry?" her voice echoed deep with her worry.

Fili's face darkened with an uncertainty that she recognised immediately. It created tight knots into the pit of her stomach. "He was fine, believe me. Don't worry." His words sounded reassuring, but his countenance was anything but that.

"You are not convincing my Prince. The King wouldn't have left without telling me personally goodbye. There was a half burned scroll in our fireplace this morning. Maybe it was an important message that caused him leave so suddenly?" She asked solemnly.

Fili opened his mouth to reply, but Dwalin spoke over him. "He decided to take over a military operation. Thorin does things like this ever since I remember him. Calm down for Mahal's sake!"

She exhaled in frustration. "You are not listening."

Fili pressed his lips. "Eilin I assure you that if there was something eating up my uncle's mind, then it is not me that should relate it to you. Firstly I don't meddle with the King's personal business and second I have no idea if something is really going on. He will speak of his worries, if there are any, when he is ready...and as he's not even here right now I think there is no reason to be discussing this. Correct?"

"Yes!" Dwalin threw his hands in the air. "Finally some logic speaking instead of emotion."

She gave Dwalin an annoyed glance and the Prince an uncertain nod. "I will try not to worry too much, but that will be hard to accomplish until I see him again."

Fili reached out and grasped her shoulder. "Ask mother. She'll give you some tips on the toil of being a Longbeard's fiancee!"

Dwalin laughed heartily at that. "He's the most obstinate of us all. Good luck there young lady, I don't envy you."

Her lips played with the prologue of a troubled smile and then she suddenly remembered Loa that was weeping next to her. "I will ask her my Prince. Have any of you seen Loa's little girl roaming around the barracks or the forest alone by any chance?"

Fili shook his head.

"No, but I will notify everyone to keep their eyes open." It was Dwalin that answered.

Eilin bit her lips. "Thank you."

Dwalin turned his attention to Fili and Balin that was coming over to them. Eilin pulled back discreetly and turned to Loa. "Come on dear, we need to search this place high and low. No one is going to rest until we find our wee girl. I am here for you. We are all here for you." She tried to sound reassuring about Lis, even though both her mind and her heart were screaming that something serious was written in that scroll. Something that drove Thorin away from Erebor in the blink of an eye. Something she had no way of knowing until he returned.

* * *

Three nights a ride away from the Lonely Mountain and Thorin's brigade had finished clearing up the last residential areas upon those mountains. After that attack there would be no more dwarfs left in Ered Mithrin. He felt both defeated and a conquerer. The war he raged against the orcs that were slaughtering the remaining of his kin had been short, vicious and violent. He led the numerous attacks, each time at the frontlines without any consideration for his wound.

His profound voice resounded upon the rolling hills with words of valour that set fire into the blood of his men who followed him fiercely onto battle ready to give up their lives for him. "Baruk Khazâd! Khazâd ai-mênu!"*

His sword slashed through every orc that was unfortunate enough to fall onto his path and his men followed with the same fierceness that had taken over their King and his commanders. The war didn't last long, the remaining orcs retreated quickly and the casualties of his men had been few, but the destruction he came across when he entered the last city was heartbreaking. Dead bodies everywhere. Men and women. Children and elders alike. Fire and desolation everywhere he looked. Homes burned, possessions destroyed, lives taken and for what?

The war he raged may have taken the edge off his confrontation with Nyrthrasir, but the images he was seeing around him now caused him deep grief and despair. He stopped in front of the body of a pregnant dwarrowdam. An axe was embedded in her head and her hands were protectively around the large bump on her stomach. The last thing on her mind was to protect her unborn child whose heart had stopped beating alongside of hers. He stood there with his sword dripping black blood and his face full of dirt. Only the azure colour of his eyes was bright under the fading sun that was spying at them behind the grey clouds. He kept looking at her destroyed head, trying to place the pieces back together in order to see her face.

She looked young and beautiful.

Another life lost for no reason by the darkness of the East. He felt his nape crawling with fresh anger and got ready to continue searching for survivors on the carpet of dead bodies that covered the thick snow, when one of his men stopped in front of him. He was holding by the arm what looked like a rather short soldier.

Thorin frowned down at both of them.

"Found this one hiding in one of the battle wagons Sir" the soldier threw the helmet off the small head.

Thorin's eyes grew wide and his brows raised to the top of his forehead in disbelief, "Lis?"

The little girl pulled her arm free out of the soldier's tight grip, "will you calm down big guy? You'll dislocate my arm!" -Then she turned to Thorin- "my King I am at your service."

The soldier snorted and Lis offered him a deadly glare.

Thorin's countenance played between bewilderment and mild admiration for a few moments. "How the hell did you get here?"

"She hid between the axels of the battle wagon Sir. Don't know how she managed to hold onto it with all this heavy armour," the soldier answered instead.

"I have a good grip in my hands. Wanna see?" Lis challenged the soldier.

Thorin humphed. "At ease," he ordered the soldier who bowed and left.

Lis smoothed down her messed up braids and tried to comp her sideburns in order to look presentable for him.

Thorin licked his lips not knowing how to approach this. He looked like the most uncomfortable of the two. "Lis does your mother know where you are?" Was the first question that popped into his head. The most obvious one.

Lis's brow wavered, "my mom? Oh no!" Her eyes slowly grew wide in terror.

Thorin came down to one knee with the help of his sword, "she doesn't know you sneaked out in order to hide in a battle wagon, does she?"

Lis shook her head petrified, "noooo..."

Thorin raised both brows, "of course she doesn't."

"She will be so worried Sir!" Lis cupped her cheeks terrified.

"And this dawned to you after three days on the road?" Thorin didn't know if he wanted to feel annoyed or amused by what was happening. The realisation that this girl had actually endangered her life in the most courageous manner made him partly forget all the painful reasons that made him take over command of this campaign.

"I didn't think about it Sir. I was too busy trying to hide," Lis said without too much thought.

"Which you managed surprisingly well considering no one figured you out all these days, including me." Thorin retorted, piqued.

"No one thought of looking under the boards of the carriage," Lis forgot all about her mother and grinned at him proudly.

"How did you manage to eat and drink?" He frowned honestly confounded.

"I was sneaking out at night when everyone was sleeping!" She placed her finger on her mouth and shushed him.

"Of course," Thorin closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, "that was pretty obvious."

"I did a good job didn't I?" Lis puffed up proudly.

"Of hiding? Impeccable. Was this the reason you tried this crazy endeavour, possibly driving your poor mother crazy? In order to hide?"

Lis's brows came together and she placed her small fist onto her chest. "No Sir! I came to fight by your side!"

Thorin's brows came up again more perplexed than before, "you are what?"

"I want to be a warrior princess like your dame Sir! I want to learn how to fight with a sword and a bow and arrows and I want to learn how to kill boars and orcs and trolls and Nazgul! I want to be the best warrior of Erebor! Mom says that I can be anything I want, if I try hard enough. That's why I came with you. In order to begin to try hard enough!" Lis rejoined heroically.

Thorin exhaled and nodded in understanding. His eyes fell to the dead pregnant dwarrowdam that was a little ways off. This little girl may have not participated in any fights, she may have spend her time mostly hidden under a carriage, but she was seeing the desolation around her now. It needed a lot of courage to witness death at this tender age and not flinch. She was standing in front of him as smugly as ever and her large chestnut eyes penetrating his with a depth he didn't expect to find in a nine year old. "So you want to be a warrior," he said and pushed himself up.

"Yes Sir! I can be the best apprentice you've ever had! Wait…did you ever have any apprentices before?" She pressed her lips with her finger in retrospection.

Thorin's lips turned into a side smile, "I had, yes."

"Did they become great warriors then?" She followed him as he started walking amongst the sea of dead.

"The greatest warriors I have seen," he admitted thinking about his nephews. Then his brows clouded at the image of his boy Kili, laying pale in his grave.

"See? I chose the best soldier to train me…of course the King is always the best, isn't he?" She tittered as she was trying to catch up to his long strides.

"Not always child," he said quietly and wiped away the dark blood from his sword with the edge of his equally bloody tunic.

"Oh, I didn't know that. I thought that since Kings are our leaders then they must be the best…anyway King or not I know I chose the best, because you dame says you are!" Lis rejoined with such a carelessness that Thorin stopped and looked back at her.

She grinned.

"She does?" He asked quietly. His heart pinched him.

"All the time! So you see how I knew I'd find the best teacher in you?" Lis swished her bottom around playfully.

"And it didn't cross your mind to ask me back in Erebor, did it? You had to do it in the midst of the most heated battle…" Thorin raised his brow seriously.

"Uhm no, I wanted to prove to you my worth Sir!" She puffed up.

Thorin stopped and leaned his crossed forearms on the pommel of his sword, "which way did you manage that little girl?"

Lis frowned and looked around her for the first time feeling tackled down. "Uhm," she mumbled.

"By hiding under a carriage?" Thorin pushed.

Lis winced and averted her eyes.

"By that you proved that you have substantial backbone. Sure, you are rather bold. As for worth though, that can be debated don't you think?" He continued.

She bit her lower lip and looked at her boots.

"Did you fight alongside our troops?" Thorin tilted his head.

Lis shook hers.

"Did you even try to raise a sword or an axe?" Thorin continued relentless.

Lis shook her head again.

"Did you face an orc?"

Lis's head came up instantly. "Yeah! He fell near the axels I was hiding under. I saw his ugly face…"

"Mere moments before he died from an axe of a dwarf, correct?" Thorin inclined his head.

"Yes Sir, but I could have done it! I could have killed him! I am a worthy warrior! Try me!" Lis grumbled stubbornly.

Thorin looked towards his muddy boots for a couple of moments, "you endangered your life and probably drove your mother crazy for nothing."

Lis's lip pouted, "that's not true Sir. I came here to fight with you! To learn how to be a war-rior!" Her voice broke.

"You think you are ready to partake in a battle then?" He rebuked with his head bowed low. His eyes were scrutinising the bloody ground.

"Yes!" She cried almost in spite.

He looked up at her eyes that were welling with tears. Then his cold gaze searched around the area until it located it's target. "Udâmai…!"** His deep voice stopped two soldiers that were carrying a wounded orc to a pile of dead bodies in order to burn him. He lifted his gloved hand and beckoned them close. They changed direction and came to him.

"Is this filth seriously wounded?" He spat through gritted teeth.

"Yes."

"Can he hold his own?" Thorin's eyes thinned on the orc.

"Don't think he's battle worthy Sir, no." One of his men kicked the orc who cackled madly.

"Mirdautas vras. Vras gruiuk."*** The orc looked down at Lis and snarled.

Thorin's hard gaze was enough to make the orc lose several ounces of boldness before turning his eyes at Lis. He threw her the Orcrist casually. She grabbed it by the pommel and almost kneeled down by it's weight.

"Du Bekar!"**** he commanded stonily.

The soldiers looked at each other confused and Lis looked up to him overwhelmed. "What?"

He raised his brow and rejoined loftily. "You want to be a soldier and you cannot even recognise a basic command?"

A single tear stood at the edge of her eyes.

"To arms...pick up the sword..." one of his men whispered at Lis.

Thorin's glare was so rough that the soldier winced regretfully and averted his eyes. Thorin turned his callous glare back to Lis that was trembling with his huge sword precariously balanced between both hands and thighs.

"Wield it against this scum," Thorin spat between his tight lips and drew back.

Lis looked at the snarling and spitting orc that was trying to free himself and then at Thorin. The growing fear was clear in her eyes.

Thorin signalled the guards, "release him."

The orc gave out a shrill cry that made Lis screech and pull back. Something she failed to do as the sword was too heavy and drew her back down again.

The soldiers hesitated.

"I said release him!" Thorin commanded.

The soldiers obeyed and the orc ran up to Lis with terrifying ferocity. She tried to lift the sword, but failed and then she dropped to her knees and covered her head bracing for the inevitable impact.

Nothing happened.

She opened her eyes fearfully and looked around. The orc was convulsing from an axe that was buried into his head down to his mouth. His tongue was hanging out. Thorin's hand was at the pommel of that war axe. The orc fell dead at her feet. She kicked the body away and began weeping uncontrollably.

Thorin turned at his soldiers, "dismissed," he said. They bowed and left.

He rounded the orc's dead body and picked up his sword from her feet, "you haven't proven your worth yet little girl. What came after you was a half dead orc. Do you still think you are ready?"

She sniffled and wiped away her runny nose on her sleeve. She tried to look at him, but the sun blinded her. It was shining behind his tall frame seemingly emanating from his body. "I am not ready Sir, forgive me", she whimpered.

"You should ask that from your mother," he replied austerely, but after a few moments of silence he extended his hand to her, "stand up, come on."

She looked at it in apprehension.

"I am not gonna bite…" -he raised his brow- "much." He added with a small up tilt on his lips.

Lis gave him her hand and he drew her up. Her legs looked unsteady and she was trying to wipe her nose again on her sleeve.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded, but then started shaking her head. "I don't think so Sir, no."

Thorin pressed his lips and looked up to the sky at several circling crows. "Let's get you some water and out of this armour."

She looked up at him with newfound hope and gave him a small timid smile, "I am really sorry for what I did Sir."

"You acted on the spur of a moment, upon the call of your heart. I cannot deny that I admire that, but don't always listen to such calls. Process those urges through your mind first, because the heart has no logic. It works only with passion and that can alter our ability to process our actions prudently."

Lis's fingers twisted around her wrist nervously. "What did you just say?"

He looked calmly down, "our heart makes us do stupid things, our mind saves us from doing that."

Her eyes grew wide and her mouth opened, "Oh! I get it Sir. I will not listen to my heart ever again…."

"For something so serious that could endanger your life follow your mind, but other occasions will command that you should follow your heart," a sad smile appeared on his lips.

"How will I know then what to follow? Now I am confused," she frowned feeling better by each passing second this giant King was speaking.

"You won't," he humphed, "no one does."

She grinned, "so you get confused on what to do also?"

"All the time little girl. All the time," he whispered and looked around for someone to take over the kid. That is when Roac cawed above them. Thorin stopped and looked at his old friend as he landed on his shoulder carefully.

"Notify Loa that the child is well and with us," he said quietly.

Roac cawed and flew away. Lis's mouth dropped open, "he can understand you?"

Thorin raised his brows and pressed his lips, "we understand each other."

"How?"

Thorin gave her a lopsided smile, "magic. There is some magic in all of us."

Lis's eyes almost popped out of her head, "Can I talk to him too?!"

Thorin shook his head, "I am afraid Roac and his kin are answering only to the rulership of Erebor."

"If I become a commander of your armies, will he listen to me then?" Lis said in an afterthought.

"I think he would, with the allowance of the King of course," he smiled.

"Perfect! That's another reason to want to become a warrior then!" She hoped around happily.

"Didn't you learn your lesson yet?" His voice turned austere.

She sobered up, "I learned it Sir. I will never run away from my mom, but will you teach me how to fight, back in Erebor? Will you teach me to be a warrior?"

Thorin sighed deeply, "I will find a good soldier to do that for you."

Lis stopped and crossed her arms, "I don't want anyone else. I want you."

Thorin frowned, "Why?"

Lis averted her eyes and hesitated for a long time before looking up at him, "because my father died in your arms Sir. Part of his soul is trapped in you and I want to be close to him...I miss him." Her words were spoken with such honesty that Thorin's countenance faltered.

He tried to keep himself in check and forced a smile, "that was the best comeback I've ever had in my life."

Lis grinned, "does that mean you'll be my teacher?"

Thorin raised his brow, "for that alone, yes."

Lis clapped her hands happily, "I promise never to worry my mom again and to listen to you and do what you tell me and not be a bother and not run after you all the time and eat well, sleep well, exercise…"

He spoke over her, "study. Above all study. Opening up your mind will make you a much stronger person inside out. It's not only learning how to wield a sword, but learning the ways of the world you live in."

Lis nodded, "are you teaching me already?"

Thorin frowned, "indeed I think today was your first lesson."

Lis clapped her hands again. "I loved it, but it also scared me."

"That is what a lesson should do," he rejoined satisfied.

Lis paused for a long time before looking up at him with a newfound sadness in her eyes. "You'll teach me how to be brave also Sir, like you?"

"I think you've got that in your blood already. As audacious as me when I was a dwarfling," he smiled.

"And like my dad?" her voice broke and her eyes filled up with tears.

His brows clouded and he looked at his dirty boots. "Yes."

"Did he die bravely Sir?" she looked up at him eagerly.

"Very." he turned his heavy gaze at her.

"Sword at hand like a hero? like yourself?" she continued.

"Heroes and bravery don't come only in one form. They come in children that dare to hide in battle wagons in order to witness and partake in a war, even though they've got no experience whatsoever" -she beamed up to him- "they come in women that had the unfortunate luck to be born in hell and sustained through it with any means they could, they come in elders that were forced out of their homes by darkness and who didn't hesitate to carry their whole family in their backs in search for a better life, they come in little hobbits that faced huge dragons and in whole towns that got destroyed, but still gritted their teeth against death and desolation in order to be reborn from their ashes. They come in the people you see around you now, gathering their few belongings in order to follow us back to Erebor, they come in mothers who worry about their children and would turn the world upside out and inside out in order to find them" -she cringed then and averted her eyes- "or mothers who died, but still the last thing on their mind was to protect their younglings" -his voice diminished when he remembered the slaughtered pregnant dwarrowdam with her hands upon her stomach- "Little heroes and big heroes come in all shapes and forms, everywhere around you. They don't always wear an armour or wield weapons. They are not always tall and strong, but the strength that resonates from within is immense. Sometimes a simple miner can be braver than a King."

She wiped the tears clean off her face and nodded, "My dad was a hero."

Thorin's heart clenched painfully and he placed his heavy hand on her shoulder, making her knees buckle. "He was. Now come on. Let's get you some food and water."

She placed her small hand into his and followed him.

* * *

It was several hours later, in the dead of night, that found Thorin sitting with his back leaning on a large satchel with his knee bend. A pipe full of Old Toby was hanging from his mouth and the light of the fire was toying in his eyes. He hadn't moved from that place ever since they brought the royal tent up and made the fire. Several of his men had joined him in it along with Durar and Dain. The remaining soldiers were sharing smaller tents with their rams and the surviving families they were escorting back to Erebor. They were all patiently waiting out the night and hoping for a calmer weather come the morning. The snow storm outside was still raging, but the sturdiness of their tents was enough to keep them safe during the night. Dain emptied himself at Thorin's side after picking up a rather large piece of meat from the fire, "I am knackered." he grumbled.

Thorin barely heard him. He simply nodded wanting to keep everyone out of his head at that moment. The misery that surrounded the incident with Eilin and Nythrasir had returned a thousandfold now that he had no one to kill or a purpose to fulfil. He should have been wiser. Running away from his problems never helped in solving them. Now he was on his way back to Erebor and he ultimately had to face Eilin, because he was unable to go on without knowing if the words of that filth had been true or not. When he left Erebor he was brimming with rage, as he was returning his anger had been replaced with feelings of resentment and dismay. Towards Eilin? Nythrasir? Her possible betrayal? That man's probable lies. Himself? He didn't know whom those feeling were directed to. He was just trying to fend them off.

"You don't look well either," Dain noticed and took a rather large bite of his food.

Thorin humphed and drew in the smoke deeply, wanting to numb down his senses.

"You my bastard, are a walking contradiction. You led the attack as fiercely as ever and now you look ready to blow out like a candle in the wind," Dain looked at him tentatively.

"I've got a lot on my mind," Thorin said quietly and exhaled all the smoke towards the fire.

Dain shook his head and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I feel you cousin."

Thorin forced himself to look at Dain.

Dain pressed his lips and raised his brow, "I've got a lot on my mind too."

Thorin leaned his arm above his bend knee and his head back to the satchel, settling down. He honestly didn't want to know, but Dain apparently wanted to share his troubles with the brooding King.

"It's family trouble. Before we left Erebor I had a briefing from my soldiers that had escorted Karunn away, remember?"

Thorin closed his eyes.

"Bloody dame dismissed them! She had the audacity to dismiss my men and go onto this bloody trek alone!" Dain sounded furious.

Thorin's lips formed a ghostly lopsided smile.

"But my men are trained. They followed her and the information they brought back to me was really worrying. Why would a dwarrowdam ever decide to visit such an unholy place all on her own..."

Thorin spoke over him, "I understand your worry about your older niece, but I don't want to hear anything about her."

Dain stopped and looked regretfully at him, "you are right. I am just worried. Anyway I notified my brother about everything."

Thorin nodded, "I know how honourable Fain is. Do you think he will try to cover up for his daughter no matter how despicable her actions have already been?"

"No, not Fain. He will renounce her if she acts out of honour, but her mother is another issue. It's her that spoiled Karunn. She was the first child and as girls are rare in births the family all gathered around and began treating her like a jewel. Her mother most of all. She would try to cover up for every mistake her daughter made. When poor Valdis was born, her parents never gave her the attention the first born had. That's why I think she ended up a more balanced dame." Dain said in retrospect.

"My family was rather enthused when Dis was born also. A girl..." Thorin smiled.

Dain humphed knowingly.

"If it wasn't for the fact that my mother was as tough as my father and they let Dis in my care most of the times, I think she would have been spoiled rotten too." Thorin said quietly.

Dain laughed heartily. "You gave her tough love?"

"I gave her a lot of spite and hatred...the love came later in our lives." Thorin smiled sadly.

Dain nodded and fired up his pipe. They remained in calm recollection for several moments before Dain spoke again. "Don't take your menace for Karunn on Valdis, I beg you."

Thorin frowned, "I never did. The girl has a great quality of character. If I am not mistaken my nephew has already taken a liking at her."

Dain smiled pleased, "and her in him."

Thorin smirked sideways. "You seem deeply satisfied."

"Shouldn't I be? The girl is worth it!" Dain said proudly.

"Tone it down a bit, she hasn't gone through my sister's test yet. She's got it coming hard," Thorin rejoined and smiled sadly at the fire.

Dain shook his head, "If they fall in love, let them be. Love is so rare at these forlorn times we are living in."

Thorin's heart fell on that one. Instead of speaking he inhaled the smoke deeply and looked up at the guard who was standing at the opening of the royal tent. "Who is taking care of the little one?" he asked.

"Bráli", the guard replied.

"Bring her over," Thorin said and then leaned back again getting lost into the intricate dance of the flames. His mind created paths and images of his own love for Eilin. A love that four days ago had been shaken by the roots with the most improbable way. He didn't notice the guards bringing Lis in, nor them saluting him. He didn't notice her as she sat a little ways off eating him up with her eyes. He was agonising over the pain that Nyrthrasir's words were causing him still. One moment he was willing to forget his obvious lies and start anew by clearing up everything with Eilin, the next moment he feared these allegations would turn out to be true. It was long after the little girl was led into the tent that he unglued his eyes from the fire to notice her.

"Are you cold?" he asked her.

"No Sir", she replied.

"Have you eaten anything?"

"Yes!" she nodded.

"Take my coat and sleep close to the fire. I don't want to take you back to your mother frozen," he said and threw her his heavy coat.

She buried her nose into the thick fur on the lapels. "Why do you look so sad Sir?"

"I look sad?" Thorin smiled confused down at her.

"Yes, is it because I hid in the battle wagon and came here with you to fight orcs?"

A ghostly smile appeared on his lips. "That caused me great worry. Not sadness child."

"Then what makes you look so sad? Before you looked angry at me for doing this stupid thing, but not sad. I look like this only when I think of my dad," she gazed at her small fingers.

Thorin crossed his arms above his knees and looked at her thoughtfully. "When I think about my father I feel sad also."

She gave him a fleeting smile, "are you thinking of him now?"

Thorin shook his head and averted his eyes to the fire.

"Is it a big secret then?"

He pressed his lips and gave her a tentative side look.

"If it is you shouldn't talk about it. Mom says we must never speak of the secrets others entrufeced to us." She owned a very serious look in her face.

Thorin chuckled and rubbed his forehead, "you mean entrusted?"

She clapped her hands, "that!"

He felt for the first time the need to laugh after learning that nightmarish story about Eilin and fleeing Erebor like the very demons of Mordor were on his tail, "it's not a secret for you."

Lis rubbed her hands, "Okay so tell me then."

He inhaled deeply. "I learned some bad things about someone I love dearly. That saddens my heart deeply."

Lis's mouth scrounged, "Oh!"

Thorin raised his brow and inclined his head as if there was no need for further explanation.

"Was the one who told you the bad things a friend?" she asked in an afterthought.

"Not even close," he felt his nape crawling with anger.

After a few moments Lis spoke again, "why did you believe them?"

"What?" He frowned taken aback.

"If they are not a friend then why did you believe them?" Lis flicked her shoulder.

Thorin's both brows rose, "well I am not sure I believe them yet..."

Lis raised her finger. "I've had Ávaldur tell me bad things about my best friend Halda. I never believed him. I love Halda too much to believe that nasty old Ávaldur!"

"Adult world is a bit more complicated," he responded to her innocence with a calm smile.

"Hey! But you said you didn't really believe them." Lis looked up at him.

He pressed his lips, "I don't know what I believe yet and that saddens me also."

"You Sir are a very confused King." Lis said with breathtaking simplicity.

Thorin's eyes got lost into the dirt in front of him for a long time while his heart was trying to settle down. "I think you are right."

"I'll help you. Listen to me!" her small hand wrapped on the top part of his muscular forearm.

His lips curled up with a ghostly smile.

"You believe your friends. You don't believe those who speak nasty about your friends. Easy enough, wasn't it?"

Thorin shook his head, "you make it seem easy enough."

"Will you do it?" Lis's eyes grew wide open.

"My heart wishes to do that a lot, but I am not sure yet." He admitted.

Lis scrounged her nose. "You are still a confused King."

After a few contemplative moments Thorin smiled at her. "It matters not. Thank you for trying to help me."

Lis straightened her body proudly. "You promised to take me as your apprentice. Now it's my job to protect you."

Thorin huffed. "Protect me or offer me counselling on matters of the heart?"

Lis frowned, "what?"

He patted her shoulder. "Enough. Wrap yourself with that coat and go to sleep. Tomorrow you shall see your poor mother again."

Lis's face brightened up as she snuggled inside his large coat. "I wish I had thought about mom before I sneaked out."

Thorin smiled knowingly. "Such is the fire of youth. It never looks back at the elders. The young need to carve their own path into the world without looking back." When he spoke those words he felt his mouth growing bitter. Hadn't he been such a youth once? Having his whole life ahead of him? Yet the chains that his forefathers threw around his wrists pulled him back and kept him locked into their world for two hundred years. He wished he knew that earlier. Many things would have been avoided then. Many deaths and loses.

Her small eyes sparkled, half hidden behind the thick fur. "I will do that thing with the path you said, but I will never forget my mom, my daddy...and you. Goodnight Sir".

"Goodnight," he gave her a kind smile and his eyes mellowed, but the moment his gaze returned to the fire it became as dismal as before. It took him a long time to fall asleep. Far longer than anyone else. When he decided to lay down with his back to the child, his eyes closed easily and sleep galloped towards him quickly. Inside the daze of his repose he felt a small body scooting close to him until her back touched his. Then she settled down again. A strange sense of safety overtook him out of nowhere and he let all his guards down until deep sleep quickly drew him in.

* * *

It was two days later at noon that Erebor's brigade led by the King, appeared on the High Road through the heavy snowfall. It was his crows that had notified his people they were arriving so everyone was by the entrance looking at the horizon impatiently. It was by the grace of the maker that they didn't have any more casualties during their trek back to the Mountain due to the harsh conditions that fell heavy on the already fatigued and wounded families. His war ram was the first one that appeared through the snowy curtain as he was leading on the march. It was Loa that escaped Eilin's tight grip and run down the steps towards his ram first when she saw her daughter cosily sitting in front of the King. It was Eilin that run towards him second and then came his comrades and his nephew.

"Lis!" the desperate mother cried.

Thorin stopped the ram and helped Lis dismount, "mommy!"

Mother and daughter fell into each others arms and embraced tightly.

"You scared me so much, I thought you died. I've lost your father, I cannot lose you too." Loa muttered. Her hands and eyes were checking on every single inch of her child's face to see if she was alright.

Lis clasped her hands, "I am fine mommy!"

Loa's mouth dropped open and her jawline began trembling. Suddenly every single feeling of desperation, fear and despair that she had gone through for her missing daughter came out in the most violent way possible. She raised her hand and slapped Lis so hard that the girl caught her burning cheek and looked back at her mother shocked. "Mom!" she cried.

"How dare you worry me so! Don't you have any mercy for me!?" Loa was fuming.

"I am sorry mom!" Lis was rubbing her cheek and crying rivers.

Thorin dismounted slowly and approached mother and daughter. "Tame your fury woman. Let the child be. She has already learned a valuable lesson."

Loa looked up at him and after a few confused moment she bowed respectfully. "I am sorry I acted like this in front of you Sir. It's totally out of character, but she scared me so much. The whole of Erebor was looking for her until your crows notified us."

Thorin looked down at them disheartened, feeling the demanding presence of Eilin closing in, waiting to get his attention. "She was not harmed and I doubt she will ever repeat this folly."

"I won't Sir! Ever!" Lis's weeping eyes looked at him with devotion.

"Go your mother," he said and Loa embraced Lis tightly and led her away.

Eilin came over at him. He kept his eyes on Dwalin that was also approaching fearing to even look at her, but his body, mind and heart all turned to her in unity. "Hey handsome, are you alright?" she whispered.

His hand came up on it's own volition even though his stomach was in tight knots. His fingers curled around her thin waist and pulled her in until her body was resting on his. Her palms touched his shirt gently, "I am." He replied softly.

"Why aren't you looking at me?" she spoke softly and her fingers caressed his chest.

He forced himself and his eyes seared into hers in trepidation. He was not aware that he was quickly passing down his deteriorating mood onto her as they were connected mentally more strongly than either had ever anticipated.

"Are you wounded anywhere?" she asked clearly concerned.

_Only in my heart..._

_"_ No."

Her hands came up to his shoulders and her fingers curled around them, holding him tight. Her head leaned on his chest. "You left me without a word. I was so worried about you."

His head took the initiative and turned around to look at her thick red mane. He warmed her head with a soft kiss and caressed her waist tenderly, "I am sorry."

Her hands left his shoulders and wrapped under his armpits holding his shoulder blades tightly. "What happened Thorin? I found a half destroyed scroll in the fireplace. You wouldn't have ever left me without saying goodbye. You wouldn't have left like that if everything was alright, correct?"

He closed his eyes and his jawline tensed. "Correct."

"So what happened? Please tell me for these past few days I am close to going mad and no one believes me that something is wrong. I missed you so much...missed you like mad!" She was trying to get a warmer response from him, but he was not sure he was able to give it.

His heart broke.

An exhalation, partly of relief partly of heartache escaped him and his other hand came up to tunnel through her hair. He felt something unhinging in his mind and she felt it too.

"What's wrong my love? I can feel you." She muttered.

He gritted his teeth and prayed he had stayed out there in the mountains slashing his enemies. That was so much easier than facing this reality. "Allow me to brief my men and come at my office. We need to talk."

He felt her body stiffening at the suppressed warmth of his actions and words. "Of course my love. I will be waiting for you there impatiently."

He nodded and rubbed his nose on the top of her head longing to wake up her scent. His fingers curled painfully around her waist and he placed a shaky kiss on her forehead. "Go." He whispered and raised his crestfallen gaze to Dwalin and Fili that were approaching apprehensively.

She pulled back and bowed respectfully. "My King." She acknowledged and walked inside feeling her hands becoming frozen and her stomach clenching in apprehension. The Thorin that made love to her that night before he vanished, was not the same man with the Thorin that saluted her this afternoon. She really didn't look forward to seeing that version of Thorin alone at his office. Whatever it is that happened in between their love making and today was serious enough to turn her loving partner into a wall of ice that was brewing with hidden tension that she was able to feel only too clearly. As she walked slowly to his office trying to delay the inevitable she tried hard to recall on her actions towards him.

Trying to remember if she did anything to make him angry, to displease him. If it was some unimportant detail she had missed that created this unexpected gap between them. Was it her secrecy perhaps about the pregnancy? The secrecy he despised so much? Suddenly she stopped and cupped her mouth. A large smile appeared under it and all the fear about the meeting dissipated. That was it! He was angry because she was keeping secrets from him and who knows what his mind was expecting those secrets to be!

 _Oh my sweet man..._ her mind cooed.

No matter how balanced he looked towards his people as a ruler, Eilin knew a few things more about the demons he was fighting inside. Or at least a part of them. Now in the face of this fresh thought she was certain that Thorin had become angry with her denial to speak about the pregnancy and her heart palpitated with the vision of him coming undone at the seams when she revealed to him the news about their child.

Instead of going to his office, she run down to the kitchens in order to find some flowers. To create the ambiance needed in order to deliver him the news that would change this cold Thorin back to her loving partner. The father of her child. With renewed courage and eyes ready to stream with tears of bliss she entered the kitchens and asked for the most fresh snow flowers she could find. She was going to turn his mood around in the best possible manner! With the most unexpected words! As she arranged the flowers she was whispering the words again and again. Wanting to make sure the pitch of her voice was going to be just perfect when she told him.

"My love you are going to be a father!"

She just couldn't wait to see his face erupting with happiness!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Axes of the Dwarves! The Dwarves are upon you!
> 
> ** Comrades!
> 
> *** It is a good day to kill. Kill the women.
> 
> **** To arms!


	43. Ultimate betrayal

"Thorin?" She closed the door behind her.

The moment his eyes looked at her, he felt his knees unlocking. He leaned back against the cabinet to keep himself from falling down. Every single word from the accursed mouth of Nytrhasir returned a thousandfold to unravel all his threads onto the stone floor of his office. She was standing by the door watching him with a pained expression he wished he could erase from her features. A bouquet of snow flowers was in her hands. She followed his eyes and tried to smile brightly.

"They are for you. To fix your mood." She said and came over to place them at his desk.

He was looking at them frozen.

"Do you like them?" she bit her lower lip.

He winced. "Eilin listen..."

She beamed up to him the brightest smile she could master. "They come along with many hugs, endless kisses and anything you require of me to reveal."

He looked up quickly and felt his breath catching. "Anything?" He whispered.

She grinned and approached. "Anything! I've been really messing up with your mind lately and now look at the results. You have done everything to make me feel loved, you have pledged your heart to me in front of your kingdom and look what I've done to you. You look almost broken" -her smile faded at these words- "I don't even know if I am allowed to come closer to you. The vibes I am getting from you are not good and I want to change that so much. Let me help you please."

He squeezed his eyes tight and covered part of his eyes. His hand was visibly trembling. "There is only one way to help me right now Eilin."

She sensed his distress and embraced him furiously. The moment her arms came around him, he felt as if everything could still be right in the world. His arms wrapped quickly around her, and he grabbed onto her like a drowning man grabs a floating wood to save his life. At this point only she could save him or kill him and she had no idea how much power she had over him.

"What is the matter my love?" She pushed back in order to see his face and her palms smoothed his hair away from his forehead and cheeks.

He squeezed his eyes tight trying to keep himself in check. He knew he was losing control on all the suppressed emotions of the past few days…fast.

"Why are you like this? What happened to you?" She whispered.

"You don't understand," he began but instantly had to stop. He found it impossible to open his mouth without releasing the tears that were hiding behind the floodgates of his eyes.

Her mouth touched his delicately and he shook down to his core. He never expected his mouth to respond as demandingly as it did. It felt as if he wanted in some manner to announce that he was still in control of everything, when he was clearly not. His kiss bordered to desperate and his nails clawed on her thin shoulders painfully. If he could overlook all these painful words of Nyrthrasir he would have stripped her from the waist down and would have taken her right here upon his desk in order to validate his hold on her. To reaffirm his domination over her body against the other man that declared that he owned a part of her also. She must have felt his need, because she led his hand to her womanhood with no restraints and spoke onto his half open, panting lips. "I am here for you. Take it all out on me."

Those words were enough to undo him. His eyes were unable to hold the hot tears behind his eyelids anymore. They ran down his cheeks, between her fingers. Staining her palm. He drew his hand back as if he had touched fire and pulled away from her lips heaving, "No!"

She frowned and cupped his cheeks between her hands, "why are you crying? What happened out there in the campaign Thorin? Why are you like this? You are scaring me…" she whispered, but her adoring look was lost at his sealed eyes.

He shook his head. "This has nothing to do with the campaign." His voice was deep.

"Then why are you like this? You left me sleeping in our bed after making amazing love to me as always. I slept knowing you are fine. I woke up to you gone on a military operation and I had no idea what was going on, or if you were going to return to me in one piece or dead. You come back and I find this in the stead of my Thorin. What has happened between the moment we slept in each other's arms and now?" She jerked him hard in order to knock some sense into him. She needed to make him come back to her.

He reached up and clasped her palms that were on his cheeks. His initial intention was to push them away, but his heart decided to enfold them against his cold logic. He pulled them down and placed her palms on his chest. "I need to learn your secret Eilin. The one you had been keeping from me during the last few weeks. The one you said you were going to reveal when you are ready. I need to learn it now. I left in order to avoid this, but it cannot be evaded. I cannot remain in the dark a moment longer."

He expected her face to morph in fear, instead it opened up like a flower bud for him. The smile that came on her beautiful lips was the sweetest he had ever seen, "is that all my love? I am ready to say it to you…"

He squeezed his eyes tight and frowned. His hands clutched hers painfully, "take care what you'll tell me Eilin because you are the only one who can give me life or kill me with a single word."

A shadow of doubt rippled through her brows, "I'd rather die than harm you." She muttered and her fingers caressed the exposed skin of his open tunic.

"Tell me." His voice was barely heard. He got ready to hear her revelations about her lover. He got ready to understand how she was torn between two men, because nothing could convince him that she was lying about her feelings for him. He got ready to tell her that he'd do anything to eliminate that man from her life even though her betrayal would tear him apart harder than Azog's cleaver. Still those warm loving hands on his chest, those adoring eyes and those soft lips weren't totally lying to him. Whatever was happening with Nyrthrasir she was also feeling for him, wasn't she? As he felt for her, deeper than he had felt for any other woman.

She wiped the tears from his cheeks and her soft lips touched his softly and lingered. He felt her smile on his mouth, "My love, you are going to be a father!"

His heart braked so hard it left skid marks on his soul.

For several moments he was not breathing, he was not thinking, he was not even alive. He felt his extremities becoming frozen as he panted quickly into her open mouth, trying to draw in some oxygen from her as his was already diminished. Her words knocked his soul out of his body.

Her fingers curled on his chest, trying to get a response from him, "did you hear me? I am pregnant with our child!"

His lips began trembling.

"Thorin what's the matter? Speak to me! Did you hear what I just said? I am pregnant," for the first time her voice broke. Seeing him frozen after such a revelation was not something she was expecting.

He dropped her hands down and pulled back so quickly that she almost toppled over. He crushed against the back wall and opened up his defeated eyes to her. "What have you done..."

She frowned, "what?"

"That low life scum, Nyrthrasir..." he hissed, his voice dangerously low. Just the mention of that name made his nape crawl with anger and suddenly his eyes took on a terrifying capacity that frightened Eilin. The last thing she had been expecting to see from Thorin when she announced her pregnancy was uncontrollable anger.

"Who?" She muttered and tried to approach him.

"Stay back!" He commanded and she froze in place, quivering.

"What happened my love? Why are you acting like this?" Her eyes teared up and her heart thudded violently against her temples.

"Don't you know that name?" He continued with a voice that became deeper and more menacing with each passing second.

"I have never heard of it. What you are talking about?" she tried to approach him again.

"I said stand back for I cannot vouch for my actions right now!" He spat between his gritted teeth.

She froze and felt all the blood draining from her face. She was unable to understand what demon had taken over him.

He rounded his desk, keeping away from her and unlocked his last drawer after several failed attempts of his shaking hands. Just as she was about to attempt another approach in order to calm his furious state and try to figure out what was happening, he drew something out of it and threw it at her. She grabbed it mid air and looked down at it. Suddenly her face became dead pale. "Where did you get this?" She muttered.

"Do you recognise it?" His eyes were pure fire.

"This is my baby belt," she said and turned it around to see the usual runes inside and a few scratches she had done using a knife one evening that was feeling bored.

He closed his eyes and his fists became tight. His nose flared as he tried to control the emotional tsunami that was taking place inside him. "Why did you do this to me Eilin?"

"Do what to you? How did you come by my baby belt? I've lost this years ago!" she said in terrified bewilderment.

"Nyrthrasir..." he spat.

"Who in the name of Mahal is Nyrthrasir?!" She cried and tightened her fist around her baby belt, "how did you find this?!"

"Your lover gave this belt to me," his eyes opened up and spat the very fires of mount Doom upon her.

"My who?!" her mouth dropped open in shock.

"Don't act so innocent, you are infuriating me," he growled.

"I honestly have no idea what you are talking about right now!" She cried and stomped her foot down, wanting to grab him by the lapels and slap him back into reason.

"Did you or did you not give this baby belt to him as a token of love when you were working as a prostitute at the Forsaken Inn?" He took a step close to her.

Instinctively she took one back, "I never worked as a prostitute there Thorin get your head together please! I worked as a servant! I told you many times! And what token of love? I never had a lover in my life apart from you!"

"Did you or did you not see him when he first arrived in Erebor and fell for him again like he did for you?" His voice dropped an octave and he took another deliberate step closer.

She pulled back again feeling consumed by the ripples of anger that were escaping him, "I don't even know who that man is!"

"Did you or did you not become intimate with him repeatedly under my roof at the same time you were intimate with me?!" He spat with such fury that she screeched and raised her hand defensively in front of her face even though he didn't attempt to hit her. It was as if his words were swatting her face instead of his hands.

"Never! I have never been with anyone but you! I have never loved anyone else but you!" She sobbed and tried to wipe away her tears becoming equally furious at him for hurting her in this manner.

He moaned and grabbed his temples pressing them fiercely, wanting in some manner to tear out the red film of wrath that was in front of his vision now. "I want to believe you so much, but you are not making it easy for me...in fact you are doing the exact opposite."

"Why wouldn't you believe me!? Thorin see reason please! I don't know who that man is, nor have I ever worked as a prostitute!" she cried and leaned over from her need to shove those words deep into his mind and make him believe them.

"He had your bloody baby belt! That man had a piece of your history with him!" Thorin pointed towards the door furiously.

"I don't know how he got it, but I never gave it to him!" she yelled with the same fierceness. She didn't know where fear ended, pain began and anger mingled in her mind at that moment.

"Liar!" He barked.

She felt her knees unlocking, "have mercy Thorin I am pregnant, please!" She sobbed.

"To his child, you are pregnant to his child!" -He spoke with barely constraint wrath- "I longed to believe that all this had been a lie. I have even debated of overlooking your betrayal if I knew you truly felt for me. I would have tried to win you over from him! I would have died trying, but not like this... This is the ultimate betrayal to my heart. You are killing me," -he hissed- "what was all this between us? Did you truly feel for me? Was it a need for power? For gold? What was it that drew you to me? Was everything you convinced me you felt a damned lie!?" he continued relentless.

"I loved you from the first moment I saw you Thorin! I have never loved anyone else! Who gave you this baby belt? Who spoke in such an ill manner about me? Did that happen before you left? Is that why you are this broken? WHO SPOKE TO YOU?! Bring him in front of me I am not afraid! I will confront him! I will confront the whole of Erebor if needed to convince you of my love for you! Someone lied to you about my past on purpose!" she cried, feeling both furious and scared. Trembling from the need to embrace Thorin and from her anger towards the man that spoke so ill about her. She wanted to face that filth that wanted to destroy them. She wanted to find him and ask him why…no scream at him why did he do such a thing! What had she ever done to deserve this, apart from love only one man and carry his child?

"You recognised the baby belt..." -Thorin closed his eyes and began pacing in front of his study like a caged animal- "You don't know how much I prayed this week every single night that you wouldn't have recognised it. Yet, you did," his eyes thinned on her once more. His heart remembered the partially forgotten wrath that had abated for a moment in front of the desolation of his soul.

She took all the steps back towards him and slammed her fist on his chest, still holding the baby belt in it. "I could die for you! I am pregnant with your child! I have loved no one else and I will never love no one else but you! I don't know how they found my baby belt, but they are lying! Bring him to me! I want to talk to him, in front of you! You are killing me also!"

"Don't remind me of your pregnancy woman, unless you want me to lose every single thread of patience with you," he spat vehemently.

Her brows clouded, "for Mahal's sake Thorin you are destroying us, please see reason."

"You want reason?" He raised his brow. His hand came down and grabbed her wrist so tightly that she yelped in pain. He raised it between their fuming faces, "this is your baby belt. The one you lost in the fields. Your lover had it. Not me. Not you. Your lover! As for your pregnancy, that's the ultimate proof of your betrayal to me!"

"How?" She felt her knees buckling. She could barely see his face from all her streaming tears.

"I am infertile." Curiously his voice had lost all colour upon uttering those words. It was completely aloof as if it was coming from someone else who was not participating in this heated argument. Maybe a detached part of himself.

She lost the world around her and felt like faint, "what?"

"I cannot have children," he muttered close to her face. "My seed cannot blossom in your womp like his seed can. His wife is also pregnant...don't tell me you didn't know." He felt his hand trembling with the need to crash her wrist between her fingers and pushed her back so roughly that she crashed upon his desk. He pushed her away in order not to hurt her, ending up hurting her more.

She grabbed her back and cried in pain, "Thorin…" her voice fluttered.

"Don't try to convince me of your innocence for there is none..." He shook from rage.

She pushed herself up from the desk and ran up to him. She grabbed his lapels hanging from him literally and figuratively, "don't do this to me Thorin please. I love you more than life. The child is yours. I haven't made love with anyone else. I don't know how your seed blossomed in me, but it did. I don't know this man. I don't know how he found my baby belt. I don't know who would be so ungodly as to organise such a lie against me, but whoever did it wanted to kill both me and you. Don't allow them. Trust in me. Trust in my love for you!"

His fingers curled around her hands tightly, "I cannot believe a single word you are saying anymore Eilin." His eyes were accusing, already having condemned her.

She wailed then and felt her knees unlocking under her, "have mercy on me, I love you!"

He allowed her to kneel in front of him and gazed down at her in rage. "I love you too, more than life! That's why I haven't killed you already. Gather your things. You have three days to leave Erebor. With him or alone is none of my concern."

"No!" her voice cried loud enough to reverberate through all the main caverns of the upper levels.

"It's over between us." He spat and walked to the door.

She bolted up with renewed fervour as the adrenaline that pumped through her veins felt that it was going to burn her mind. She crashed her back against his door, stopping his retreat, "you are not leaving me Thorin! If you do I will die on the spot. My belly is aching, my heart is aching, everything on me is aching. Don't allow them to destroy us please! They told you a LIE!" She was sweating profusely and sharp pains were coming from her lower stomach, making her head dizzy.

His heavy hands came around her shoulders and pulled her away from the wooden panel. She fell to the floor with a cry of pain defeated, "Three days." He said and crashed the door behind him.

Her left her on the floor to cry at death's door. She remembered little except from the blinding pain of not having Thorin in her life anymore. A pain that was enough to make her lower belly convulse. Her wails of agony notified the guards outside that someone was in serious pain. She couldn't think of anything at that moment, except from the need to get him back and to save the child in her loins that she felt certain was going to abandon her also.

It was Balin that found her lying on the floor of Thorin's office half unconscious, deadly pale and shaking heavily. He called on Loa and Dis. They carried her to the room of the princess as Eilin was coming in and out of reality. Barely understanding what was going on around her. Dis stripped her from the waist down after she saw that Eilin was not letting go of her belly and that she was crying in pain each time they tried to make her lay back on the bed. She was mentally prepared to see blood as she recognised the symptoms as a possible miscarriage.

She saw nothing.

She told Loa to bring up some cloths and warm water from the hot springs and stayed next to Eilin caressing her hair and patting her hand gently, trying to bring her back to them. She recognised the name of her brother amongst her heartbreaking pleads for mercy. She understood that something very serious had passed between Eilin and her brother, but her main concern for the moment was Eilin not losing the baby.

Everything else came in second.

When Loa returned, Dis took over the care of washing her lower body with warm water and placing warm cloths on her belly. She changed them regularly not caring how long it took for the girl to begin to unwind. She told Loa to give her some water and try to feed her some teaspoons of honey in order to animate her. After several changes at her lower stomach Eilin stopped moaning in pain, but she was still shaking like a leaf. Dis after making sure that there were no traces of blood redressed her with an airy tunic in order not to restraint her lower body and didn't put on her any underwear. She placed a warm dry cloth on her and tied it around her waist in order to keep it in place. It took Loa a long time to make Eilin open her eyes. By the time she looked up at the princess with a glazed look of surrender the golden bell was striking the first call of the night. It took Dis and Loa all day to bring Eilin back from the dead.

"Hi darling. How are you feeling?" Dis whispered and cleared her sweaty hair away from her forehead.

"Thorin…" she convulsed and fresh tears sprang from her eyes.

Dis's face turned rigid, "you'll tell me in a minute what my idiotic brother did to you. Now tell me if you are still in pain. It's important."

Eilin pressed her lips and her jawline trembled. She shook her head.

"I think you came very close to losing the baby. I don't know what happened back there, but nothing is worth endangering the life of my nephew or niece, do you understand?" Dis's voice was firm.

Eilin nodded, but her jawline shook as she tried to control her tears.

"Did he mishandle you? Did you hurt you anywhere?" Dis's was trying hard to control her anger.

Eilin shook her head, "only my heart. He's hurt my heart…" she bellowed.

Dis hissed and grabbed her frozen hands tightly, "calm down, hush, remember the baby. You are not helping the baby by being like this. Calm down…" she chanted until Eilin began settling down once again. Her bellows, became wails and then sobs. When she was merely shivering with exhaustion Dis sighed deeply and looked up worriedly at Loa.

"This isn't going well. I want to give her some mead to calm her down, but I am afraid it's going to hurt the baby."

Loa shook her head, "no alcohol my lady. I'll go to the kitchens and see if I can make her a tea with some soothing leafs."

Dis pressed her lips, "thank you."

Loa bowed and left quickly.

Dis caressed Eilin's pale face, "Are you feeling cold?"

Eilin shook her head and averted her face as hot tears stained her cheeks.

Dis sighed, "Try eating another teaspoon of honey. I need to keep you here with me." She took the spoon and tried to force feed her.

Eilin gagged, but swallowed. "Did I get my blood?" She muttered with a hoarse voice.

"No, thank Mahal. Not yet at least. You are not out of danger though. You need to keep on your back."

"He told me to leave Erebor in three da-ys…" Eilin muttered and instantly she began sobbing again.

Dis grabbed her shoulder, "Remember what I told you about the baby! Calm down!"

Eilin cupped her mouth. She tried hard to force all the painful feelings back into her, wanting to stop her body from shaking so much. She didn't want to feel that mind blowing pain in her abdomen again. Never. Her other hand came down and covered her stomach protectively.

"He told you to leave?" Dis frowned after a few moments that Eilin seemed to settle a bit.

She nodded fiercely and moaned from the effort of not becoming hysterical again.

Dis shook her head, "okay stop. I cannot process this. What happened?"

Eilin opened her mouth and with it a tsunami of words came out that she tried to put in order, so she could relate what had taken place in Thorin's office. She spat sentences quickly, got confused, backtracked trying to remember the accursed name Thorin told her, the accusations, the fact that he was infertile and yet she was pregnant, that she was accused of having a secret lover behind his back. She didn't know if she related to Dis things as they happened or as she imagined them, or if it was half and half. The princess stopped her several times with a question or because she needed some clarification.

When Eilin finished she was unable to stop the sobs from raking her body again. The anguish she felt even at the thought of never seeing Thorin again was unbearable. She didn't care about leaving Erebor, nor about the lies that had been spat about her. She only cared about him and their child.

Dis took a strong hold of Eilin's shoulders and looked at her seriously. "Eilin what the hell has just happened?"

Eilin shook her head fiercely. "I don't know! He insists he's infertile and that's the biggest proof of my betrayal, of my intimacy with that other man! The baby belt! Who found my baby belt?! I thought I had lost it years ago in the fields! Who would go through all the trouble of digging that out for me now? All they've told him are lies! Despicable lies! Do you believe me my lady? I love no one else but him. Someone has to believe me lest I go mad!" Eilin's eyes popped out of their sockets in her need to hear that someone believed her.

Dis nodded solemnly, "I believe you, but there are many things I do not understand about all this."

"Me neither..." Eilin mumbled.

"What was the man's name?" Dis said.

"I cannot remember my lady, my mind is confused" Eilin closed her eyes.

"You really don't know him?" Dis tried to probe her gently. Not wanting to arouse her again.

"I have never heard of that name in my life!" Eilin bellowed and her fists punched the mattress in anger.

"And you haven't worked as a prostitute in the tavern?"

"Never!" Eilin moaned and arched off the bed in pain.

"Calm down," Dis caressed her forehead.

Eilin nodded and panted like a fish out of the water. She was shivering from feeling too cold, but at the same time she was also sweating.

"I need to talk to Thorin," Dis's eyes became clouded.

Eilin opened up her eyes and a small ray of hope appeared in their despair, "you will try to make him see reason?"

Dis raised her brow, "try is a good choice of words. Truth is that Thorin can become unbearably stubborn and when he feels in pain he locks up tight. When he's like that it's very hard to make him listen. Even harder to turn him around."

Eilin squeezed her eyes tight and covered her mouth as more sobs raked her chest. "I know. I tried so hard to make him listen to me..."

"Don't worry Eilin. I can penetrate my brother's heavy shields. I will blow them up from the inside out if I have to. I won't remain impassive through this. I don't know exactly what has taken place, but apparently someone is trying to mess up both you and him and I will find a way to get to the bottom of this." Dis reassured her firmly.

Eilin reached up and grabbed her hand, "I need to leave in three days. He told me…"

Dis frowned deeply, "you are going nowhere until I say so. Now stop the hysterics because you have someone else in there that needs to be well. Put aside Thorin and yourself for a moment and concentrate on the baby."

Eilin groaned and nodded, "I will try."

Dis looked up at Loa that entered with a fresh brew, "Don't leave her alone. Not even for a moment. If you see blood notify me immediately."

Loa bowed, "yes my lady."

Dis closed the door after giving one last caring look at the bed where Eilin was visibly shaking. At first her steps and thoughts were utterly bewildered. She was trying to put the scattered information in order. She had some vague idea of what had taken place, but not enough to draw a conclusion. Besides she didn't have the other half of the story. As her thoughts became more organised so did her steps. She searched for Thorin at all the usual places, but he was nowhere to be found.

Only when she saw the fires on the tall columns reflecting off the shiny surface of the sword pommel of one of the guards did his location dawned to her. She ran down to the forging stations as if she was on fire. She entered the archway of the usual station he'd been using ever since he recuperated and surely enough he was there. Half naked with a body that was full of fresh bloody scars and bruises from the campaign. With a heavy hammer in one hand and a red hot blade in the other. He was holding it from the pommel by a thin cloth that did little to protect his hand from the blistering heat. He threw the hammer down with such force that the blade broke in two. The roar of anger that left his chest broke her heart apart.

He threw the hammer with such vehemence against the wall that it created a large hole in it, bringing down heavy debris onto the floor. She was not looking at her brother right now, but a wounded wolf. A dangerous animal that could pounce and become deadly to everyone around him. Whether they'd be people he loved or not. She had seen him lose control in this manner very few times in his life.

Those were the few times that made Thrain fear the capacity of his son's wrath.

She braced herself, "wolf?"

The angry hiss that came from his lips as he turned and looked at her, made her heart cry out for him. This was not a man that simply destroyed a pregnant woman a little while ago for no reason. This was a man that was equally hurt to Eilin if not more.

"Don't bash my head in please," she raised her hands defensively.

He groaned and looked away, towards the fireplace.

"Can I approach you?" She asked knowing that in these cases it was not good to take the offensive with him. He'd flatten her to the wall, both physically and with words. She knew him well enough not to challenge him when he was at his worst. Eilin was lucky nothing more serious happened, even though her brother had never raised his hand against a woman.

He shook his head, truly unable to speak. The only sounds that came out of his throat were moans and groans of suffering and fury. He came down here hoping to destroy something in the stead of Eilin or that man. He had a great difficulty stopping himself from finding Nyrthrasir and making an example out of him by hanging him from the top most rampart and leaving him to rot out there as proof to what happened to the ones who betrayed him. Maybe even allowing Eilin to look at her lover in that state, but that short blast of hatred and pettiness didn't last. He couldn't even imagine Eilin more hurt than he had seen her at his office when he told her to leave. That is why he decided to come down here and take out all his fury on himself and on the room around him, on his tools, or maybe on his body. He needed to be cleansed in some manner before all this drove him mad, "get away Dis…just step away!" He grabbed his temples and squeezed tight. Wanting to squat out the fiery tornado of tormenting thoughts.

"What happened with Eilin my love? She almost lost her baby," Dis spoke quietly as she took another step closer.

That set his rage off. He picked up the boiling cauldron of melted iron with his bare hands and threw it against the wall. A waterfall of liquid metal and sparks fell onto the floor and he hissed in pain. He turned around and quickly dipped his burned palms at the water bucket, feeling fresh sweat running in thick rivulets down his back and sides.

"Thorin stop it before someone gets hurt. You or her, please," she begged.

He closed his eyes tight and spat between gritted teeth, "get out Dis. I cannot control what I am doing. Just get out!"

"I can see that wolf, that's why I am here. I won't allow you to hurt yourself or this girl. I don't know what happened, but listen to my voice please. Mute all the outraged voices in your head and listen to me. I am your gerbil. The baby you raised since you were a teenager, remember?"

He felt his eyes tearing up behind his closed eyelids as his body was shaking with frenzy.

"I used to wipe my snotty nose on your tunic, remember?" She took another careful step.

His lips became tightly white.

"I used to puke all my milk on your beard braid and beautiful hair. The ones you were always so proud of, my vainglorious brother." She approached an inch more.

His nails dug into his scarred palms.

"I used to sing off tune lullabies to you in order to make you sleep, only to wake you up and have you play the harp for me in order to fall asleep. How sick was that of me?" Her next step brought her close enough to reach out and touch his deltoid. She felt his skin shuddering under her palm.

His attempt to drown the moan that climbed up his throat, failed.

"What I remember from my dwarfling years is mom and you. Mostly you. Chasing me, kicking me, punching me, yelling at me, but also feeding me, changing me, singing to me…even training me. You've always been there for me wolf. Especially during my worst times. Let me do the same for you." Her palm rubbed his arm softly.

He exhaled a trembling breath.

"I've seen you only few times losing control in this manner. Let me be here for you." Her other hand came around his back and grabbed tight hold of his other arm. Her cheek leaned onto his shoulder blade and she gave him a gentle kiss on his sweaty skin.

"I am in pain," his voice was hushed.

"I know my love, that's why I am here for you."

"Is she alright?" He whispered the most unexpected question Dis would have ever thought possible.

Her heart broke for both of them, "I am trying to help her keep the baby. She's not well Thorin, no."

Something let go in his body then and she felt it, "did I hurt her?"

Dis tightened her arms around him lovingly, "physically no, emotionally you killed her. What happened Thorin? Why did you treat her in this manner?"

"She betrayed me with another man Dis," his voice sounded defeated. So far away from the fury unmatched she witnessed when she entered his forging station. Her brother was a broken man and that scared her, because she had never seen Thorin broken before. Bend maybe, broken never.

"Who found you and spoke with such bleak words about your One my love? How could you ever believe the words of a total stranger?" Dis asked trying to keep her voice calm. The last thing he needed right now is someone else breaking down on him.

"Does it matter who he is? The only thing that's keeping him from hanging outside my walls dead right now is the fact that his wife is also pregnant," he hissed.

"You have more compassion for a woman you don't know, than for the woman that carries your child," she tried.

"That's not my child in her…" his voice fell and she felt the shudders of fury re-igniting in his strong body. Obviously that was the thing that infuriated him the most. She needed to trot with care.

"Calm down," she hurried to get one step ahead of him.

"You don't know everything," he rejoined and pulled away from her. He emptied himself on his stool. His shoulders were slouched and his eyes were downcast. He looked conquered.

"Then tell me," she kneeled in front of him and clasped his thigh, "tell me everything."

It took Thorin several moments to decide if he could do that without going through another tornado of emotions that could end up with him bearing heavier injuries on his body than his scalded palms. He looked down at the bloody trails on his skin and winced at his inability to feel any pain from them. Maybe that was because the pain of his soul was rendering everything else unimportant. Dis patiently counted the moments until he spoke. Looking at all the emotions clearly portrayed on his countenance. Every single one of them she was able to discern. The pain, the desolation, the wrath, the bitterness, the hatred, the love...above all the love. It was still there fuelling all his other emotions, making them spill out of his seams. When he opened his mouth his voice was barely heard, but he did manage to give his sister a detailed description of what happened with Nyrthrasir and what he did afterwards until they reached this accursed day.

"I should have remained in Ered Mithrin fighting filth. I shouldn't have come back. I could have died up there honourably sword in hand, never learning that she betrayed me. I would have died knowing that this woman loved me. I would have died a happy man." His eyes were closed tight and so were his bloody fists.

Dis wiped away the tears from her eyes, "don't speak like that my love please. Don't ever wish for death. No matter what happened."

"You cannot understand how I feel," he gritted his teeth.

She cupped her mouth and closed her eyes, "No I cannot see things through your eyes."

Thorin frowned and his face twisted in agony.

Her fingers curled around his knees, "that doesn't mean I am not here for you wolf. Do you hear me?"

His nod came after a long silent moment and it was barely discernible.

She looked towards his thighs for a long time, her eyes getting lost on the bloody trails on his trousers. On the dirt and the soot that he carried home from the battle at Ered Mithrin. She tried to put things in order in her mind. "So a man you don't know, came and spread grim information about Eilin's past. He told you about their intimacy..."

"Don't do this to me," he spoke over her with a hushed tone. Even hearing his sister speaking the words was killing him anew.

She tightened her grasp on his thigh and her other arm came behind his nape and drew him down. Their foreheads touched, "I am sorry my love, I am trying to understand."

He gritted his teeth and his nails dug into his wounded palms.

"How can we be certain that this man told you the truth? Be reasonable here Thorin. You've ruled the greatest Kingdoms and commanded the biggest armies. You are well known for your equanimity and sharpness of wit. Let's dissect this okay?"

He pushed her back and freed himself of her tight grip. "This man spoke with intimate details about her past and her present Dis. He knew her naked body." His bloodshot eyes opened up finally and fell on her demanding. Their azure colour was almost indiscernible under his dilated iris.

"That's nothing. Someone could have easily seen her bathing naked in the servant hot springs," she waved him off.

"Don't downplay this," his eyes thinned on her in forewarning.

She swallowed a dry throat and nodded, "I am sorry wolf."

He gritted his teeth, "I could have overlooked everything he told me about her. I could have easily believed they were lies, hadn't he given me her baby belt. The one she recognised immediately. He had her baby belt Dis. The one she had supposedly lost in the tavern. It was all a lie from her, but still I could have overlooked even that. I would have tried to move past her betrayal. I would have tried to win her back from him, hadn't it been for her pregnancy. That is something I cannot handle. It overpowers me."

Dis inhaled deeply and got prepared to tread carefully through the obvious dangerous zone. 'Why Thorin?'

He averted his eyes and she saw his jawline trembling with suppressed emotion. 'I cannot have children Dis.' His voice was almost extinguished.

Dis pressed his thigh. 'How do you know with such certainty?'

He turned his back on her then and cupped his face feeling in more pain he had ever been in years. Nothing had ever made him come close to revealing his story with Siv all these years, yet Eilin's heartbreaking betrayal blew the locks of that dreaded secret sky high. 'Remember Siv?'

'Servin's younger sister?

He nodded.

'The beauty of Erebor. We had a great rivalry'. Dis smiled bitterly.

'We were together for two years. Don't ask me what happened, because I am not strong enough to speak about it in the face of this new despair that I feel. During these two years I never managed to get Siv pregnant sister. At first I thought it was the punishment of Vala Aule for not wedding her, but time proved that I am infertile. We both knew it, but we didn't care. Our love was strong enough to sustain through that grim fate.' He turned then and faced the pale face of his sister that was almost ready to collapse under this new revelation.

She moaned and cupped her mouth as her eyes streamed with tears, "you've kept this hell inside you all this time?"

He remained coldly silent.

"Did anybody else know or did you go through all this alone my sweet darling?" she reached up and grasped his other thigh, caressing him firmly. Wanting to show him in some manner that she was there for him to support him as he revealed these painful secrets he'd been keeping hidden for so long.

"No one knew." He pushed her hands away from him. He stood up feeling his body pained and his heart broken into so many pieces he didn't think it would ever become whole again. Siv had taken away half of it with her death and Eilin took the other half with her betrayal. Now he was heartless.

"Why didn't you speak to me?"

"It was not that simple," he shook his head and picked up the iron cauldron that he had thrown into the wall before. He placed it next to the hearth and remained gazing at the fire lost.

"Didn't you trust me enough? I trust you with my life, with my children. Why didn't you trust me enough to reveal this secret?"

"I didn't want to dishonour Siv's name. I didn't marry her," he looked at Dis with such defeated sadness in his eyes that her heart squeezed painfully.

"I am so sorry you had to go through all that and I knew nothing."

He frowned and looked away, unwilling to return back to those days. Not now that he was totally broken. 'I cannot get Eilin pregnant. The man that knew all these intimate details about her life and body did it. The man that gave me her baby belt. The man who got his own wife pregnant. They became intimate right under my roof while I was confessing my love to her' -his voice became steadily colder and angrier as he continued. His sadness was taking the back sit as his fury was returning again with terrifying capacity- 'a love I still have so strong that it's tearing me apart! What is killing me most is this pregnancy. That man gave her the only thing I longed for the most! The gift I couldn't give her. Maybe them meeting again in Erebor was a blessing in disguise for Eilin. With me she would have remained childless. Maybe it was best that things happened this way.'

"Oh dear Mahal...you are killing yourself." Dis looked up at him in pure agony.

"I cannot control the fury in me. It's making me want to harm people. I want to harm him above all. I want to kill him with my bare hands," his teeth gritted and the blood of war woke up in him once more. Even the thought of that man touching Eilin was driving him insane, never-mind knowing that Nyrthrasir's seed had blossomed in her.

'Thorin after what I've heard I can understand why you don't believe her. You have many reasons not to. Can I speak of my thoughts without you going into a frenzy?"

He swallowed a dry throat and looked at the flames, "I don't know," he sounded empty.

Dis nodded and braced herself. "Even though things look grim for Eilin's story right now... I believe her."

He tightened his fists and squeezed his eyes tight trying to stop the boiling wrath from erupting once more.

"Maybe we should take this one step at a time?"

He shook his head as the desolation gnawed on the remains of his torn soul.

'How about the man that talked to you? Maybe we should stir things up with him to see if his story fails somewhere?'

Thorin covered his face and his jawline tensed. "Make sure Eilin is ready to travel and I will provide her with everything she needs about herself and their baby. I don't trust myself around her as I am right now. Send her to the Blue Mountains. I will never return there, but I can ensure she has a proper life in my Halls. I cannot give her more than that, lest I die on the spot, for I am empty'.

'Your words in the midst of your pain are as honourable as I would have expected out of you brother, but I don't think Eilin wants to leave you. She loves you deeply. As for the child in her loins and what you have just told me, I am completely bewildered. I do not know what is happening. I cannot vow that she hasn't betrayed you, yet my heart tells me that she hasn't. All this torture I have seen in her eyes was not being faked. She almost lost her baby today Thorin. A woman that's manipulative and disloyal doesn't fall apart at the seams like that.' Dis said.

His whole body shuddered and he closed his eyes.

"She's in danger," Dis crossed her arms, "and the only one who can save her is you."

He turned then and his face exposed all the suffering he was feeling. 'What will you have me do? Keep her and raise another man's child? I am not that brave. I am barely keeping myself alive as it is,' he rejected her.

'She loves you deeply! No one can convince me of the opposite. Not Nyrthrasir, not her baby belt, neither your supposed infertility. She-loves-you!' Dis frowned feeling traces of anger towards his stubbornness, even though she could understand very well why he had been so easily convinced of her betrayal under the information of his already burdened past.

'Not enough to be loyal to me' -his lips turned down bitterly- "who says a woman's heart cannot be divided in two Dis? Maybe she does love me, but her love was not enough to stop her passion for that man."

"You love her too. Maybe you should put everything aside and talk to her. Your heart will reveal to you what it has revealed to me. That she's not lying about the child or her feelings for you," Dis tried gently to penetrate the shields he had raised.

"I love her deeply enough to send her away instead of killing her alongside of him. Don't ask more of me than I can give!' His voice turned hoarse.

Her hands came around his shoulders and she leaned her forehead to his burning skin. She felt his breath panting onto her face and the muted moans of pain that he was keeping hidden. Her heart broke anew, "I can understand why this caused such a fallout between you, but I still trust in people. I trust in her. Thorin if you had seen her you would have understood that something is not quite right in this story. She was almost dead. Your words, your rejection almost killed this girl and the baby in her loins."

"Her supposed love wasn't enough to keep her from seeding herself by another man," the groan he released shook her body. He pulled away from her. He covered his face with his palms, "enough sister."

Dis nodded and embraced him. "Would you reveal to me this man's name? I wish to talk to him please' she asked gently.

He closed his eyes. 'Nyrthrasir.'

Dis nodded gently. 'I believe Eilin and you are victims of a choleric scheme.'

'Eilin made her choices. She's not a victim in all this, but her unborn child is,' he rebuked.

Dis didn't know what to say. The evidence against Eilin was so overwhelming one could't argue against it easily. Yet something made her believe the young girl's honesty against the mountain of proof that condemned her. She could understand though how impossible it was for Thorin to see it this way. He was blinded, in pain and felt deeply betrayed by the woman he loved. He was not in the right mindset to work through this with a clear mind.

As for Eilin as things were right now she had no choice but to make sure she and her unborn baby was safe. It mattered little to Dis whose the baby it was at this moment. She only cared that this innocent life was not lost in the whirlwind of betrayal and heartlessness of the adult world. With newly found focus she clutched onto him hard enough to knock the air out of his lungs. Then she made him a solemn promise . 'I will make sure Eilin is safe for you and I promise I will find a way to figure out how all this mess happened! When I do I will bring all the proof out to you and then your heart shall smile again my love. You will not be consumed by darkness. I won't allow it! I will figure things out even if it takes my last breath! Do you believe me wolf?'

His eyes looked at her confused for a few seconds and then his gaze faded into a complete void. She was certain he hadn't even heard her promise, so much was he consumed by his inner demons. She looked at his ghostly features and at his empty eyes and that is when her heart cried in anguish for the silent history he had been carrying all these years on his shoulders.

As for her other dominant feeling...that was wrath towards the ones that managed to mess up her brother's already broken heart and Eilin's already fragile existence. Her brother's defences all these years had evolved to be practically impenetrable against any assault, physical or emotional, exactly because of his constant exposure to very hard situations from a very young age. There wasn't a single place anyone could hit him in order to cause pain, but one. The one that was now being targeted. Whoever did this to him knew what they were doing. They shattered his soul in such a devastating manner that she didn't know if he'd be able to come around. It was much easier to see him wounded from a sword, than from an invisible hand that had twisted around his soul in such an ungodly manner.

Someone had evidently discovered the best way to undo Thorin Oakenshield, without even considering that their other target was an already defeated woman who had barely sustained through the savage circumstances of her previous life, or that there was an innocent soul in danger now because of this barbaric game played on the King and his One.

She got possessed by the dire need to lash out to the ones who assaulted her brother and Eilin with the most atrocious manner and cause them equivalent pain, if not death!

_What have they done to you?_

* * *

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	44. Twilight

 

* * *

Three days later found Dis knocking on Myrna's door. She had been warned by a darkly moody Thorin not to approach Nyrthrasir's home and respect his wife's pregnancy, but he had no answer to give when Dis asked him why he respected the pregnancy of a stranger instead of Eilin's. She knew already why he was not answering. It was the thorn at his side. The thing that made him push Eilin to the floor so violently. The one that caused him to pick up a boiling cauldron of melted iron and catapult it to the wall. The certainty that this child was not his.

His infertility.

Something that Eilin was swearing against. Dis was wavering with indecision about that. Her brother's words about his childless relationship with Siv had been convincing enough, but so had been Eilin's words of loyalty and love for him. Dis knew there was only one person that could solve this mystery for them. This man Nyrthrasir that found her brother during a dark snowy evening and spoke all these horrible words about his one, setting in motion the torturous wheels that were now crushing Thorin's soul out of his body. She wanted to go to him from day one, but Thorin had been seriously forbidding. She remained patiently at the sidelines, watching Eilin unravel in her bed, unable to stand up and Thorin fade away into the darkness of his study. Third day in she decided to take matters into her own hands. It hadn't been hard to check Balin's records and find this man's abode. Ironically the names of him and his wife family had been written down by Eilin's handwriting.

As she made her way down to their home she felt a growing apprehension, thinking that maybe Thorin was right inside the agonising purgatory he was living in now. That she should stay away from them. Maybe meeting with Nyrthrasir or his wife would confirm the allegations about Eilin. If that should happen then Dis's world would also come crumbling down. Was she prepared to learn things she probably didn't want to? As her steps approached the accursed abode of the man that send the already burdened life of her brother to hell, slowly her fear took the back seat to a seething anger and a dire need for revenge. When she finally located the house and was ready to knock on the door her anger had turned into barely controlled wrath and she felt uncertain she'd be able to keep herself from striking Nyrthrasir down instantly. When the door finally opened, it wasn't a man standing there, but an elder dwarrowdam who was in obvious emotional distress. She wiped her eyes away with a handkerchief, "yes? What can I help you with?"

Dis buttoned up, "I am princess Dis."

The elder bowed slightly. "My lady, thank you for coming, but I am afraid you arrived too late. Come inside. Lady Myrna is in a dire state."

Dis frowned confused, but used the opportunity to enter the dimly lit abode. They passed from an antechamber that was full of armours and swords. Apparently this was the home of a military man. When the elder led her through the nicely arranged kitchen she found herself in front of a group of ladies surrounding a woman that was shivering on a bed. She was sobbing and moaning half in and out of consciousness. The elder showed her in, "this way my lady."

Dis nodded and proceeded, having no idea what she was getting herself into. Maybe she had located the wrong house, but instead of asking clearly and leaving in case of a mistake, she felt obliged to attend to the obvious distress of this woman, "Is she alright?"

"Unfortunately no my lady. She just lost her baby." The woman said and wiped some stray tears on her cheeks.

"What happened?" Dis turned to the old dwarrowdam.

"Her husband has been involved in an accident my lady. He's not dead, but they cannot revive him. He's in a coma. Lady Myrna found out the news this morning. We found her on the floor bleeding. Poor woman. Poor child...poor family." The woman said regretfully.

Dis looked confounded at the half unconscious woman and reached out to caress her hair. "Her husband. Is his name Nyrthrasir by any chance?"

Myrna howled in pain and twisted her body painfully. The old dwarrowdam grabbed Dis's elbow. "My lady, please don't use his name now. She's in distress. Yes, that is Myrna's husband."

Dis felt her eyes tearing up at the obvious agony of this woman and thought of Eilin that three days ago almost lost her baby. She cupped Myrna's forehead and whispered softly. "I am so sorry for your loss my dear. I hope Mahal shall bless your heart with peace and your husband with health."

Myrna cried and tried to pull away from Dis's grasp. The princess stood up and respectfully walked back a few steps. "I am so sorry. I came at a very inappropriate time. Maybe you should bring the lady up in the infirmary and let Oin take a look at her, just to make sure her womb emptied up completely. There is a possibility of complications."

The old dwarrowdam bowed. "We will take her up my lady when she stops trying to twist out of every hand that is trying to help her."

Dis swallowed heavily, "I think I should go then." She pointed at the door.

The old woman escorted her but before Dis stepped out she grasped her arm gently. "May I have a word my lady now that Myrna is not listening to us?"

Dis frowned, "Of course."

"Her husband was not involved in an accident. We told her that to protect her heart. Myrna is a very sick woman. She already lost her poor baby, if she knew her husband tried to commit suicide she'd die on the spot," the old woman whispered and looked above her shoulder to make sure Myrna was not listening.

"He did what?!" Dis's voice elevated and her face paled.

"He hang himself by a rope above the deepest mining chasm of the fifth level. Some miners found him this morning barely alive. He failed to snap his neck. He still had a faint heartbeat on him. We decided to lie to Myrna to protect her. Please don't speak of this to her. It will destroy her." The old woman squeezed Dis's hand.

Dis reciprocated. "Worry not. I shall not speak. Where have they taken him?"

"Up at the infirmary. That's why we are not taking her up there. In order not to see him. I used that small lie about her dire condition in case she was overhearing us. Forgive me ma'am."

"Is Oin looking after him?" Dis frowned.

"The medical dwarf-lord, the King's cousin. Yes, ma'am." the woman bowed.

Dis straightened and looked back at the Myrna miserably. Well, apparently Thorin's wish had come true. He didn't have to hang Nyrthrasir from the highest rampart after all. The man had done it to himself above the deepest chasm of Erebor and now the only man that could reveal the truth about what happened was unable to do so. She swallowed a suddenly dry throat and nodded at the woman, "I have to go. If you need any help with this woman, please don't hesitate to seek me out."

The dwarrowdam bowed, "thank you for coming my lady. We all know how caring you and your brother are to your people."

Dis pressed her lips, feeling slightly bothered that she didn't come here out of interest for this pregnant woman, but in need to strike down her comatose husband for ruining Thorin's life. She gave a haughty tilt of the head and found her own way out. With her determination faltering along with her hopes she made her way quick up to the infirmary, but when she entered the last person she was expecting to find next to Nyrthrasir was her very own Dongar. All the blood drained from her face.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered at him.

He stood up immediately and put his arm around her waist to steady her, "I am looking after one of my best friends from the Ironhills my lady."

She felt her heart palpitating and sat down at the chair, "Is this man your best friend?"

Dongar took a sit and nodded. "Yes."

"What the hell is going on here?" she frowned.

"I don't know what you mean my lady. We found him this morning hanging by a rope. He failed to take his own life apparently." Dongar reached up to stipple his fingers through hers.

Dis looked at their joined hands and shuddered. He felt her distress. "I am so confounded by everything." she admitted.

"Why did you come here my lady?" Dongar asked and his thumb caressed the back of her hand softly.

"For this man," she shook her head.

"Why? What do you have to do with Nyrthrasir?" Dongar frowned.

Dis bit the inside of her bottom lip. How could she explain to this man why she was here without betraying the feud of the King with his One? She knew that if Thorin found out that she had spoken of his bad situation with Eilin to one of his lieutenants he would lose his mind. On the other hand she wanted to ask Dongar about this man. She exhaled and kept nibbling the inside of her lip until this internal debate was laid to rest. "I went down to help his wife. I am a midwife as a profession along with being a rather good embroider. They notified me that this woman was losing her baby." She lied.

Dongar nodded and relaxed back to his chair, but didn't release her hand and she didn't want him to do that either. "I understand my lady. Thank you for taking care of poor Myrna. This child was a blessing to their marriage. Now not only the child is gone, but also her husband." Dongar looked devastated.

"Why did he try to commit suicide?" Dis asked and her fingers caressed Dongar's gently. Urging him to trust her.

"How can I know my lady. He didn't leave any messages. He didn't leave anything to help me understand. He was so happy to have relocated here in Erebor. He was so enthused with his wife's pregnancy. So ready for his life to take another path and then we find him like this." Dongar's voice was miserable.

"Maybe something was wrong in his marriage? Maybe he carried in him some dark history that overburdened him?" Dis said without knowing that she had hit the nail on the head.

Dongar tensed and she felt it. He hesitated for a long time before speaking. "No. Not Nyrthrasir. He was impeccable and his relationship with Myrna was a dream." He lied.

Dis exhaled through her nose. "Nobody that lives a dream life tries to commit suicide. Maybe he had issues he had never talked about with you?"

Dongar closed up tight and removed his hand from hers. "Maybe my lady. I cannot say."

Dis pressed her lips and felt the loss of his hand more than she had anticipated. "And he cannot tell us, right?"

Dongar's eyes were burning the pale countenance of his friend. "He cannot. No."

Dis nibbled her bottom lip. "Are you sure you don't recall anything from his past? Some insignificant detail? A relationship out of marriage perhaps?"

Dongar looked up quickly and Dis's heart overflowed with adrenaline. She saw the look of recognition in his eyes and held her breath with him.

He shook his livid face. "No, my lady. Nothing of the sort."

Dis felt her shoulders slouching in defeat and a wave of anger run through her at Dongar's denial to possibly reveal Nyrthrasir's relationship with Eilin, without knowing that the relationship that Dongar was protecting was the one with Karunn. She reached up and squeezed his shoulder. "Please if by any chance you remember anything that we might find useful in order to understand why Nyrthrasir tried to commit suicide, I'd be more than willing to lend you an ear."

Dongar looked at her sideways and smiled sadly. "Thank you my lady."

Dis smiled regretfully and walked out of the infirmary. She had set out that morning with every intent of solving this misunderstanding and ended up more bewildered than she had been after Thorin's fight with Eilin. She was pretty certain that Nyrthrasir tried to commit suicide because of what he did with the King and his One. Dongar's hesitations when Dis asked about this man's past spoke of a darkness that lingered there. Darkness that made Dis's confidence towards Eilin waver slightly. Who was Dongar trying to protect? What secret? Nyrthrasir's relationship with Eilin or something else? What the hell was going on here and how was she supposed to find out when one man took care to silence himself and the other was not speaking on pain of death in order not to stain his friend's honour? Who was she going to turn to now? The poor woman who aborted and was hanging onto life by a thread? Her face fell as she made her way back to her rooms in order to check on Eilin. Talking to her brother was out of the question. He had barricaded himself in his office these past few days and was refusing to talk to anyone.

* * *

"My lord, aren't you going to check on my work?" Gisli bowed to the ground.

Thorin's blazing eyes left the fireplace and fell on the jeweller for way longer than it felt comfortable. His office was completely dark as he had extinguished every single candle. The only source of light came from the fireplace, but he was hidden well as he sat immovable behind his elaborate desk. Two empty mead bottles were on the desk next to his cup and one was laying defeated next to his boot equally empty. On the other side of the desk there was a bottle half full. His long fingers twisted his cup around slowly and his eyes blinked only once towards the terrified jeweller that Balin had led inside a little while ago.

"It took me more than a month to make it your majesty. You should take a look at it," he said and gathering the little courage that Thorin's unblinking and empty stare had left him, he opened up the pouch and took out an astounding looking amulet. The dove had its wings open like it was in mid flight and everything on its body was made out of diamonds apart from the thin outline that was made out of pure gold. The chain was so dainty that Thorin could barely see it. The whole work looked so delicate that he was certain it would break to pieces if he twisted it around in his fist...maybe he should. A hateful smile toyed upon his tight lips and his eyes returned to the jeweller that was trembling under the King's silent scrutiny.

"You don't like it?" Gisli asked in a hushed tone, trying to shove the amulet back into the pouch. The countenance of the half hidden King didn't seem pleased.

"Leave it, Balin shall pay you." Thorin's voice was so guttural that it raised the hairs of Gisli's beard.

The petrified jeweller bowed to the ground and scattered out of that menacing office, happy to see the last of the King. He tried to bypass the frowning Balin, but the advisor grasped his upper arm and stopped him, "why are you rushing off?"

"I...I..." Gisli closed his eyes exasperated with his inability to speak and tried again more calmly- "I don't know Sir."

Balin took out a rather large and heavy looking pouch and gave it to him, "that's your payment. You almost forgot it. Why?"

Gisli took it and bowed to the ground, "I don't think the King liked my work Sir, maybe I shouldn't take this payment."

Balin frowned, "this was given by his orders."

Gisli placed his fist above his thundering heart and tilted his head, "I don't think the King is all that well Sir. He scared the life out of me."

Balin swallowed hard, but remained silent.

"I must leave," Gisli bowed once more and then walked down the corridor, trying to stop himself from running away.

Balin looked at the forbidden door and hesitated to knock. Thorin had ordered all of them to keep away from him. He locked himself up in his office and didn't speak to anyone. Poor unlucky Gisli had been the first one he addressed in three days. Balin had become some sort of a guard dog that was pacing back and forth, mumbling under his breath about Thorin's condition, but never abandoned the door of the King's office. Gloin came at one point wanting to speak with Thorin about some matters of the treasury, but Balin barked at him sternly.

"He's refusing to speak with the delegations that he's supposed to be taking care off! He denies to speak with me and even Dwalin. He doesn't want to see his nephew and even his sister, what possible chances do you think you've got!?"

To that Gloin said nothing and left with a disappointed face. Balin remained like that, a silent sentinel of Thorin's privacy until Dwalin made the usual appearance for the day. Balin stopped the angry pacing and looked up at his brother, "don't...just don't!"

Dwalin crossed his arms, "did I say anything?"

Balin began pacing again, "you were ready to."

"Lay off my case" -Dwalin brushed him off- "how is he?"

Balin stopped and looked up at Dwalin fuming. "I cannot know, can I? He's still not talking to anyone. I know he's asking me to bring him bottles of mead, but no food. Only the jeweller he had requested some work out off was accepted today and that has been a surprise."

Dwalin frowned and leaned his heavy body on the wall next to the door, "how come he was accepted?"

Balin threw his hands in the air, "I don't know. Thorin asked me to pay him before the man even entered and when the jeweller left he was simply terrified."

Dwalin looked at the door and sighed. "Well, I think that's enough."

Balin frowned, "I know!"

Dwalin straightened and placed his door on the handle, but before he could turn it Balin's strong hand stalled him, "what in the name of Mordor are you doing?"

"I am going in," Dwalin raised his brow.

"He's given strict orders not to be disturbed by anyone, on pain of death!" Balin grumbled.

"Oh, then let him kill me brother. What do you want us do? Remain silent guards at the flanks of his door, while he commits suicide in there?" Dwalin looked at him angrily.

Balin paled, "don't say such words."

"He might not thrust a sword through his heart, but he'll find other ways to do it if we allow him. Let me in!" Dwalin spat.

Balin's hand trembled above his brother's, "take care what you tell him."

Dwalin's eyes bored into Balin's, "always, now back off you stout troll."

Balin pulled back and Dwalin opened Thorin's door. He entered the dark study and felt the air stale with a gentle undertone of alcohol and old Toby. The fireplace had warmed up the office to the point of it being uncomfortable.

"I am going to step on something in this darkness, break my neck and you shall have my death upon your conscience," Dwalin said and stood by the door, trying to figure out where his friend was.

The room remained silent.

Dwalin took several steps forth towards Thorin's desk, "you don't seem to care about my well being."

No answer.

Dwalin reached his desk and saw the outline of his shadow behind it. He was sitting on his chair with his legs crossed, his hands equally crossed above his stomach and his azure eyes penetrating through the darkness. Dwalin jerked taken aback, "you scary bastard, what the hell are you doing lurking in the shadows like a ghoul?"

"I thought my orders were clear," Thorin's rasping voice made Dwalin's nape crawl with fear.

"Oh, you mean the ones you gave to my brother who stands like a venomous snake outside your door ready to strike everyone who approaches?"

Thorin didn't reply.

"I respected them for three days, now that's enough." -Dwalin rounded his desk and picked up the bottle next to Thorin's boot- "Four bottles only today?"

Thorin didn't move an inch, not even his eyes blinked.

"What are you trying to do? Overdrink your father?" Dwalin threw the empty bottle angrily at the fireplace. It's crash should have awoken Thorin, but didn't even make him flinch.

"Maybe I am, what's it to you?" Thorin rejoined.

Dwalin felt his heart exploding with anger. He picked up another empty bottle and threw it at the fireplace, then another. When he reached out for the half empty bottle Thorin's iron grip fell above his hand and kept him still. Dwalin's eyes turned to his and met with an emptiness that sucked away all his anger and gave it's place to immeasurable sadness, "because I don't want to see my best friend fading into the void," he said with a hushed tone.

Thorin's lips played with a hair-raising smile. "How poetic of you."

Dwalin drew his hand away from his and grabbed his heavy chair swivelling it around. He brought his face inches from Thorin's and smelt the alcohol reeking off of him, "Be as sarcastic as you please, but know this! I shall tear the void to threads if need be, but I will pull you out of it!" she spat between gritted teeth.

Thorin's comeback was so unexpectedly violent that when he pushed his friend, Dwalin lost his footing and backed up several steps. Thorin stood up slowly, a tall intimidating figure of authority, seemingly encircled by a dark halo that petrified Dwalin's heart. He had only seen this heavy shadow emanating from his friend once. Upon Siv's death.

"Thorin get a grip on yourself. You are losing every sense of self preservation. Be reasonable," Dwalin said with a heavy gaze.

"How can I be reasonable in the face of such a betrayal?" Thorin spat with skin crawling hatred.

"I am not convinced of Eilin's betrayal. As is not your sister either, but even if Eilin betrayed you, you have to pull through. You cannot let this consume you. You've seen a lot of darkness in life, you cannot let this bring you to your knees."

"You sound even more doubtful than Balin about my ability to pull through," Thorin's voice sounded unwavering.

"Have you seen yourself?" Dwalin frowned.

Thorin looked truly disinterested.

Dwalin's lips turned down angrily, "I haven't seen you this broken since Siv's death."

"Don't even try to go there," Thorin's voice dropped.

Dwalin shook his head, "I heard everything Dis told me about what happened. It's your account I am missing and it's the most crucial. Yours and that accursed man's, but good luck on either of us having any discussions with him."

Thorin looked up at that and demanded an explanation quietly.

Dwalin sighed deeply, "he tried to commit suicide."

Thorin's eyes thinned.

"Apparently what he did to you and Eilin weighed too heavily upon his concience and he tried to rid the world of his lies."

"Or of his infidelity," Thorin retorted with a tint of steel that never left his voice.

Dwalin crossed his arms, "or of his infidelity. How can I be certain that he was not speaking the truth? I can only assume. All of us now can only assume!" He felt and sounded pissed off.

Thorin gritted his teeth. "Good riddance."

Dwalin raised his brow, "Well he made your job easier. You don't have to hang him yourself, even though he's not dead but in a deep coma."

Thorin inhaled sharply and his eyes became hateful.

Dwalin raised his hand, "before you go storming the infirmary to slit his throat open, think of his wife who lost her baby and her life is hanging by a mere thread. I truly don't think she's gonna make it past tomorrow. Second, try to be reasonable inside this warped reality that has overtaken your mind these days. If he wakes up, we can face him. Ask questions. Let Eilin face him. Maybe we can then decide who is lying or not."

Thorin's lips trembled with controlled anger, "I will not be able to handle seeing them together in the same room and trust myself not to kill them both..." -he stopped and held his breath.

Dwalin's brows creased angrily, "You almost said all three of them didn't you?"

Thorin's stare clouded. "The child in her loins must be respected, no matter who the father is. I am angry at her and him, not at their child."

Dwalin exhaled in relief. "So there is a small logical part of you alive in that messed up mind. I couldn't agree with you more."

Thorin felt his knees unlocking. He emptied himself on his armchair and emptied his cup quickly.

"I don't know if I made a mistake in judgement towards this girl Thorin. Maybe I should have protected you much more when she came into your life. Maybe I should have been more cautious like Balin. I was all too eager to believe her when she declared her honest love for you," Dwalin said feeling disappointed for failing his friend.

"Me too," Thorin spat the words out.

Dwalin stopped and approached the desk, "tell me what I can do to help you fix all this please."

It took Thorin a long time to speak. He turned his eyes to the fire and brooded over it's flames, "How is she?" the words were barely heard.

Dwalin shuddered and covered his eyes, "she refuses your offer for a relocation in your Halls at the Blue Mountains. She refuses the gold you offered for a new beginning and will probably refuse any other commodities you'll offer too." Dwalin shook his head dejected.

Thorin averted his eyes and his gaze turned slowly cold after a momentary lack of self control, in which Dwalin saw the misery lingering in their depths.

"I know how hard it was for you to offer her a new abode, especially since you are convinced that the baby in her loins is the product of her infidelity, but Thorin you must admit that the girl acted honourably towards you in this case. She refused everything you are offering. She could have grabbed the chance to a new respectable and rather rich life away from you and settle down. You wouldn't have spoken about her betrayal to anyone, isn't that right?"

Thorin shuddered. "Never."

Dwalin nodded. "She would have gone to your Halls as a widow probably?"

Thorin inclined his head miserably and covered his eyes.

Dwalin continued "She would be under the protection of the royal family. What more would anyone want? She would have had everything, yet she refused. Her next best choice is to ride with Yrsa alone out of here towards the wilderness and she prefers that to any security you have given her."

Thorin's steely exterior began coming apart.

Dwalin leaned his hand on the back of his chair and stooped over, "do you think she's going to accept any kind of help from you? She's proud and declares her innocence fervently. She won't relent and that is what makes me doubt the words of this Nyrthrasir. Do you think he'd try to commit suicide if he didn't know that he had done something wrong?"

Thorin's hand tightened around the wooden arm of his chair.

"Was the lies he said about this poor woman what burdened his soul? Possibly that he destroyed your life? Or that he was an infidel to his wife? No one but him can tell us and currently he's unavailable. As for this poor girl..." Dwalin lingered.

A wave of brewing tension escaped Thorin's body.

"She doesn't need the help you are offering Thorin. She needs you in her life. She needs you to believe her." Dwalin said.

A menacing silence drew between them for a few moments before the wooden handle of his chair finally gave up under Thorin's iron grip. It broke with a loud crack that made Dwalin look down. "Get out..." Thorin hissed.

"Are you going to take your wrath on me now? I am ready, take me on." Dwalin punched his chest angrily.

Thorin turned his fierce stare on Dwalin, but remained silent against this provocation.

Dwalin lingered for a few more moments before saying, "come out of this office with me, please."

Thorin didn't respond.

"Don't let this kill you," Dwalin's eyes became immensely sad.

Thorin filled up his cup with the remaining mead, "tell Balin to bring in more bottles."

"I won't...I won't assist you in this suicide," Dwalin's voice broke.

Thorin looked at him intensely, "then get out."

Dwalin turned around and left the room quickly. When he crashed the door behind him his eyes were swimming with tears. Balin grasped his arm, "what did he tell you?"

Dwalin pulled his arm free, "leave me," he snapped at his brother and left totally heartbroken.

* * *

Dis sat next to Eilin who was laying on the bed with her back to them. As difficult as it had been to communicate with her brother, equally hard it had been to get a single word out of this poor woman. She refused to eat and get up from the bed, but at least she didn't refuse to drink some water and tea, which was enough to sustain her. She was weak and her heart had been torn to threads by the agony of her breakup with Thorin. Nevertheless the Maker blessed her, and the child in her loins seemed now to be safe. No blood had appeared during these critical days were her whole world came into ruins. Dis asked Eilin if she felt any pains or tightening of her internal muscles. She was trying to figure out the condition of her pregnancy. Eilin never replied. She simply shook her head in negation, letting Dis know that she felt no pain from her loins. All the insufferable pain was coming from her heart and there was no one else that could cure that ailment from her, than the King himself. He denied an audience with everybody not just Eilin.

When Dis tried to dig up some information about Thorin's state from Dwalin she got back confused nervousness. The ironclad bodyguard told Dis that Thorin was drinking heavily and that worried him since he had never seen his friend consuming any alcohol at all, never mind these quantities. Thorin kept himself locked at his office and rarely went to his room to sleep. In fact neither Dis nor her son or his comrades were certain that he had slept at all during these days of hell. Something that was the complete opposite for Eilin. She was trying to cope with the agony of their separation by sleeping all the time in order to numb her feelings and protect their child.

The darkness of the King had spread out like wildfire throughout the whole of Erebor. From the highest Lords to the lowest miners everybody could understand that something serious was taking place behind the closed doors of his office. The uncertainty of what changed the disposition of the Mountain King so drastically, turning him from a determined and very skilful ruler to a hermit that denied any kind of responsibility for his Kingdom was eating everyone up. Mostly though Balin who kept repeating to Dwalin that "such fairytales never end up well, I told you so. This is going to kill him."

Bofur upon learning of Eilin's dire condition did visit her, trying to uplift her spirits. He even joked that it was natural that she chose Thorin over him, since he was a much more skilful archer. That was meant to make her smile, but instead Eilin started crying. When Bofur turned bewildered at Dis he got no reply. Just a simple suggestion that they should allow Eilin to rest. Bofur left with a broken countenance unable to figure out what had taken place, but certain enough that it was something serious between Eilin and Thorin. He kept to himself also, drawing into the darkness of his thoughts, seething against Thorin for making the girl suffer this way without even knowing what had taken place. For him siding with Eilin had come naturally, not because he aspired to anything happening between them anymore, but because he still held a fondness for this sweet creature. He may have acted angrily towards her when he learned that Thorin was her romantic interest, but he never stopped liking her. Now that his feelings had settled down a little, he instantly felt a need to protect her against anything that was hurting her, which in this case was Thorin.

Eilin had no idea how much support she was having and neither did she care. The only thing she wanted was to clear up her stained honour with the only man that mattered to her. She only wanted to see him, to talk to him, to make him see the truth. She wanted not to feel such blinding pain anymore from his brutal dismissal. A hand fell to her shoulder and she gritted her teeth against her body's endless need to shake. She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around her stomach.

"Are you in pain?" the usual worried question of Dis was once more dismissed by a clear shaking of Eilin's head.

"What more can we do?" -Dwalin's heavy voice came to remind her that Thorin's best friend was here- "If nothing changes, there is little we can do. Thorin talks to no one, he is practically locked away drinking himself to oblivion. He will certainly not listen to any voice of reason and Nyrthrasir is out. The man can tell us nothing. If he was awake you can be certain I'd choke the truth out of him."

Dis nodded, "the fact that he tried to commit suicide proves that he knew he had done something wrong."

"His wife knows absolutely nothing?" Dwalin crossed his arms and asked for the umpteenth time the same question.

"She lost her child this morning. I don't think she knows anything, but even if she did she's in no condition to speak of it without dying in the process." Dis's voice was full of despair.

Dwalin winced.

Eilin's nerves shattered. She squeezed her eyes tight. "This is madness."

"It is my darling," Dis rubbed her shoulder firmly.

"What about that lieutenant of yours?" Dwalin frowned.

"Dongar knows him well. They were good friend back at the Iron hills. He seems to know something, but was solidly denying that there is something of importance to relate to us. Good luck tearing through the stubborn honour of a dwarf that needs to protect his friend." Dis said and tried to avoid eye contact with Eilin at that moment.

Lis's hand wrapped tightly around Eilin's forearm, "don't cry again ma'm" -then she turned to her mother worried- "why can't anyone do something mom?"

Loa rubbed her forehead, "do me a favour and stop meddling. Lady Eilin doesn't need your constant jabbering to add to her already burdened mind."

"Let the child speak, she doesn't bother me," Eilin whispered the first whole sentence in five days just for the benefit of Lis.

Lis took courage in that, "see mom? She knows I am here to help her."

"You can do nothing to help me girl" -Eilin forced herself to open her eyes and look at Lis- "Not even I am able to defend myself to Thorin. Never mind putting you in the middle of this hell."

Lis scrounged her lips, "I'll do anything to help ma'm."

Eilin reached out and grasped Lis's small warm hand. "Are you are trying to take care of me?"

Lis nodded and grinned up to her, "yeah ma'm."

"Not me, little one. Him. Take care of him," Eilin felt her chest welling.

Lis frowned confused.

"Take care of Thorin for me, alright?" Eilin forced a pained smile on her pale lips.

Lis pulled back surprised only for a second before smiling, "of course I will ma'm. He's my mentor, remember?"

Loa gritted her teeth, "Lis stop it!"

Eilin closed her eyes, "he needs your protection little one. I have people to help me. He's not letting anyone in, but he will let you. Promise that you will help him."

Dis cupped her mouth and averted her crying eyes to Dwalin that looked heartbroken at his boots.

Lis hesitated, "of course I will ma'm."

"Thank you," Eilin said in a hushed voice.

"I promise to help him find out the truth about you ma'am!" Lis added with renewed energy.

"Enough Lis, stop it this instance! Promising things that are way out of your league to the lady!" -Loa chastised- "let the poor woman be!"

Eilin felt the first sad smile forming on her lips at the child's honest promise, "that means a lot baby."

Lis embraced her tightly and Eilin felt her tears releasing, "and you promise to stay here ma'm? you are not leaving us are you?"

Eilin couldn't speak.

Loa pulled her back, "please Lis, that's enough. Don't you see in how much distress the lady is. Be considerate of others."

Lis looked at her mom and then at Eilin, "I will help the King! The King couldn't believe at my audacity when I joined his army at that campaign in Ered Mithrin. You don't believe me now either. You just wait and see, all of you" -then she grasped Eilin's hand- "I will find out what happened ma'am! I will help the King and become a knight! The first girl knight ever! Wait a moment, can that happen?"

Eilin smiled. "I suppose anything can happen if we don't lose hope."

Loa pulled her daughter back and looked sadly at Eilin. "I am so sorry for her my lady. Sometimes it's very hard to stop her."

"Why are you asking forgiveness mom? The lady wanted my help. I will protect the King and I will find the truth. That's my job as a warrior princess and a knight" -she scrounged her lips- "Which I am not yet, but I will be!"

Dwalin smiled bitterly, "loyal to the bone. The first important element of becoming a warrior."

Lis grinned up to him, "that's what the King told me too!"

Dwalin pressed his lips and nodded sadly.

Dis caressed Eilin's hair, "Shall Loa bring you up something to eat?"

Eilin shook her head and uncurled her body with great difficulty, "no thank you my lady."

Dis frowned and assisted her as she sat up on the bed. Her hair was a tangled mess, her clothes full of creases and the cheek that laid on her pillow through the whole morning was red. She swallowed a dry throat and placed her legs on the floor, "what are you doing?" Dis asked as Loa run up from the other side to help her up.

"I want to talk to him," Eilin repeated with a clear voice as she stood up on a pair of very wobbly legs.

Dwalin came forth and grabbed her by the waist steadying her, "he will deny you and you can barely stand."

Eilin pushed him gently away and found her stability slowly, "I will talk to him if it is the last thing I do. He won't deny me master Dwalin. He will listen to what I have to tell him even if the next moment I climb onto my horse and ride away from here."

Dis and Dwalin exchanged worried glances as Eilin went to the bathroom to change with the help of Loa.

Lis crossed her arms and her brows came together decisively.

* * *

"Thorin will you stop for a moment?" Bofur run after him.

The King's eyes thinned as he climbed upon his horse and gave the signal for the guards to open up the heavy gates. He didn't reply to Bofur that had patiently waited for him outside his locked office doors. When he threw them open angrily, Bofur tried to stop him, tried to talk to him, but Thorin dismissed him instantly. Balin followed both Bofur and Thorin down to the stables as one was trying to make the other one listen. The advisor was desperately trying to stop Bofur from making Thorin's already thinly balanced patience topple over and bury the whole of Erebor under its ferocity.

Bofur jumped in front of Thorin's horse and grabbed hold of the reins, "I said stop!"

Balin grasped Bofur's arm, "let him got lad! You are making things worse!"

Bofur turned at a truly apprehensive Balin, "for whom am I making it worse? For the whole of Erebor that doesn't know what kind of devilry had taken over it's King? For him that seems to be entranced in a world that's taking him everyday even deeper down the rabbit's hole, or for that sweet innocent girl up in Dis's bedroom that hasn't eaten anything for days!?"

Thorin's jawline clenched and his hands tightened painfully around the reins.

Balin barked, "shut your mouth boy! You know nothing of what has taken place! Don't dare assume..."

Bofur spoke over him, "I know nothing, because no one is telling us anything! I don't expect that to change soon, right?" he turned his eyes and captured Thorin's dark glare.

The King didn't reply.

"Very well, so knowing the few things I know I will speak to you as a friend! A friend that travelled with you for a year, who fought next to you in many battles. A friend who cares for the woman who loves you!" Bofur spat and threw his reins down, releasing his horse.

Thorin was free to go, but didn't move. It was as if an unseen force was keeping him there, locked in place.

Bofur was positively fuming, "I don't know what happened between you and Eilin, but I know she is broken and she doesn't deserve this kind of treatment. Not by you, or by anyone else!"

Thorin's unemotional stare penetrated through Bofur, making him even madder at the King.

"I liked her from the first moment I saw her. I tried to approach her, but you know what?" Bofur's gaze pierced through Thorin.

He remained religiously silent.

"She never wanted me. I think that she was yours from the moment she saw you."

Thorin swallowed heavily.

"Instead of revelling on the ultimate blessing the maker gave you, by offering you this beautiful woman's heart, what do you do?" Bofur was trembling from rage.

Thorin's nose flared.

"You throw it under your heavy boots and crush it. How can you sit so majestically upon your steed? Looking so unaffected and cold when that girl is suffering for you?" Bofur cried.

Thorin felt his breath becoming quicker.

"I don't know what happened between you, but you don't deserve her! I wish I had the chance to make her understand how much more she does deserve, but I don't have it. You are the only one that has so much power over her," upon those words the anger got extinguished out of Bofur.

Balin gritted his teeth, "it's impressive how wrong every single word you said has been."

Bofur raised his hand at Balin, "leave me be! I suffered by seeing her choose Thorin in my stead. I won't suffer by seeing her this broken by him!" -he turned decisively at Thorin- "fix her! You broke her, now fix her and feel the blessing that should have been mine run deep in your veins. You are an honourable man, do honourably towards her! The whole of Erebor is rooting for you and her. Even me, through all my bitterness. I don't want to see her this broken by you ever again!"

Thorin inclined his head sharply, "get out of the way."

Bofur planted his feet on the ground, "or what?"

"I won't hesitate to kill you," the words came out with quiet determination.

The dwarf frowned reluctantantly and Balin found the opportunity to draw him out of Thorin's way, "come here you bloody fool!"

Thorin kicked the flanks of his horse and dashed out into the heavy snowstorm.

Bofur looked bewildered at Balin, "was he truly going to kill me?"

Balin shook his head, "in the mental state he is in, quite possibly."

Bofur shuddered, "what the hell is going on Balin?"

The old advisor rubbed his teary eyes, "much more than you know lad. Much more."

* * *

*****************...********************

*****************...********************


	45. This time imperfect

Thorin walked to the edge of the frozen waterfall and mused down at the valley of his homeland. Soft snow was falling on his head, but the rough winds had abated as suddenly as they had arrived. Possibly this was the eye of the storm and soon enough the Lonely Mountain would be engulfed in the second part of the blizzard that has swallowed the land in it's white totality the previous days. He looked up at the sky and saw the grey clouds breaking in several places, allowing him to take a peak at the blue sky that was hiding behind them. The rays of the sun couldn't pass through them though. He remained there observing the formations of the passing clouds slowly numbing down the feelings of fear, letting them get replaced by a haunting void. He stayed immovable until the clouds closed all their gaps, his soul slowly turning deeper shades of blue under the expanding darkness of the sky.

He escaped Erebor to remain alone outside of the oppressive confinements of his office, but unfortunately he was not graced with this blessing. Her beloved voice broke through the snowy silence and startled him so much that he was unable to stop the physical reaction. His teeth gritted and his fists tightened.

"Good evening your royal Highness." The typical way she addressed him was an indication of what was to follow and Thorin felt his body shuddering hard. He was not strong enough to face her today. All the anger of the previous days had evaporated leaving behind only despair.

"How did you find me?" Thorin's voice was diminished, barely recognisable. He kept his back turned to her. He didn't have the strength to look her in the eyes.

"I searched all your hiding places, but this was the most obvious. It seems like we have all our major events happening in this place." Her voice was hushed.

He felt goosebumps rolling through his spine.

"First time I saw a fire in your eyes that resembled the one I had for you in my heart was in this place."

He closed his eyes feeling frozen inside and out.

"And now our first and final breakup is going to take place here too," her voice fell.

He felt his heart palpitating. She took three steps towards him and he counted every one.

"They told me you didn't want to talk to me," she said quietly.

"I don't."

"I won't leave until you do," she stated.

"I know."

"Will you run away in order to avoid me?" her voice slightly broke.

He shook his head, "I never run away from a fight."

She smiled sadly, "good. Me neither. You taught me that."

He held his breath.

"Will you push me onto the ground again?" she took two more steps, which he counted also.

He shook his head, "I am sorry I ever did that."

She raised her hand, "don't."

He stopped.

"I don't want your fake remorse. I want you to listen to me." Her voice became strong once more.

He squeezed his eyes tight and his hands gripped his biceps painfully, "I am listening."

A long pause that made him incredibly nervous came from her. "The man who told you all these lies for me tried to commit suicide."

"I heard," his voice became distantly cold again.

"He knew he'd done something wrong," she continued.

He didn't reply.

"Thorin, he did something irrevocably wrong. He destroyed us," her voice lost it's previous steel and became almost beseeching.

He swallowed heavily, but remained silent.

"He destroyed us for reasons I cannot understand and now he is not awake to revoke his painful words. He is not awake to give me the chance to prove the liar in him. He never gave me a chance to defend myself," her voice began elevating. She was unable to get a grip on her feelings. Her hands began trembling and she embraced her shoulders. She was a mere step away from his tall frame, looking lost at the golden bead that was holding his thick mane at the back of his head.

"Eilin please, enough with the lies. I am hurting." his voice was deeply pleading on it's own accord.

She closed her eyes feeling her heart melting from pain, "I never wanted to hurt you and I am not lying to you. Other people are hurting both you and me. Mahal help me I am telling you the truth, but you cannot believe me, can you?"

He turned around then and she felt his energy sweeping over every inch of resolve she had gathered in order to face him today, "I cannot." he shook his head coldly.

Her eyes became immensely sad. She felt forsaken, "that man was never my lover...I don't even know him Thorin, but no matter how many times I will confess the truth to you it will matter little."

He overlapped her, "all your recent denial for intimacy was because of him, wasn't it?"

"No, it was because I am pregnant!" she cried feeling adrenaline rushing through her blood suddenly.

"Did you make love to him when you stopped making love to me?" he raised his hand stopping her.

"I never touched him and he never touched me. I stopped making love to you because I was afraid I was going to hurt the baby." Her eyes teared up and her fingers squeezed her shoulders painfully trying to keep herself from falling apart once more in front of him. She came with the resolve to face him with courage but as his azure eyes bore into hers she felt every inch of that courage flying away.

"How did you manage to be so passionate towards me that last evening before I left?" his brows furrowed and he looked down at her in mild disbelief.

She forced herself to look at him, "because I never lied about my feelings. It felt so real, because it was real. I love you Thorin, you and only you..."

He spoke over her again, "Stop it! Don't you think that's enough?"

She covered her face and a groan escaped her.

"How did he come across your baby belt? The one you lost many years ago in the fields?"

"I don't know," she whispered.

"How did he know so many details about your life in that tavern, your friends, or your past profession?"

She looked up, feeling her chest raking. The unfairness towards her felt overbearing, "I never worked as a prostitute."

He raised his hand with authority. "Truly Eilin I don't care about what profession you used in that damned tavern. I could have even overlooked that rumour had I known you were faithful to me."

"I am!"

"Were you indeed?" he whispered feeling defeated.

She pulled back and covered her mouth. "You will never believe me..."

"You made love to that man and look at the result now. It's there under your petticoats laughing at my face," his eyes filled with bitterness.

She reached out to him, "no! The child is yours!"

"Enough! I cannot take this anymore don't you understand? You are killing me!" he snapped and the coldness of his countenance broke. The curtains of anger pulled back to show a deeply hurt man and her heart broke anew.

She trembled and tried to caress his face, "please Thorin don't..."

He pulled back and grasped his chest tightly, "I cannot breathe Eilin...you are twisting the knife he buried in my chest by speaking of your child. I cannot have children, the man that had your baby belt can. Why did you do this to me? What is it that you sought from me?" he threw at her all his pain with no remorse like he had thrown her all his anger before.

She cried. "You! I've only wanted you!"

His jawline flexed and he inhaled sharply trying to get a hold of the agony that was twisting him out of shape. "Well, you got both him and me. Congratulations. What are you going to do with us both I wonder..."

The pause from both of them was long. Her hushed voice broke it long after she felt unable to stop her hands from shaking. "You have condemned me already."

He looked down at her in desolation. "Facts have condemned you, not me. You have betrayed me in the worst way possible."

"You are fighting with your own demons. Demons of your past. Your supposed infertility. It was not the words of a man none of us know that have condemned me in your eyes. Neither my baby belt, that I still cannot understand how it ended up in your hands. Your own insecurities and past nightmares have condemned me." she said with an immeasurably sad voice.

He remained silent.

"It is easy to fight on an equal basis. I can carry my own against this man that accused me with such vile words to you. I can defend myself. I can face him, but he's almost dead now. He's tried to kill himself, Thorin, because he did something wrong and he knows it. Cannot you understand?" she tried to touch his hands but he pulled them away.

She felt her eyes filling up with tears anew. She was afraid to blink, for then they would run down the side of her cheek and he would see. She lowered her eyes to her crossed hands, "there isn't anything I can do to mend a situation that I never broke, is there?"

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

She nodded feeling her heart shutting down for everything else apart from their child in her loins. "Of course there isn't. I can fight against everything in this world in order to win you back, but how can anyone fight what's inside you? How can I fight against nightmares and ghosts? Those ghostly whispers deafen your ears against my voice. They mute all my pleads for you to see the truth." -She grasped his hands then, no matter his tries to keep her away and his fists tightened inside her small palms- "Please listen to my voice Thorin. Through that dark fog that your nightmares have created, listen to my voice. I love you so much it hurts. I never betrayed you. I have never been with any other man than you."

He looked down then and his eyes were hard, relentless, tearing her heart apart.

She shook her head and quickly wiped away the stray tears at the edge of her eyes, "the baby in my loins is yours and no words from any man, woman, wizard or even God can change this fact. No denial from you, no nightmares of your past, no ghosts that are haunting you will ever change the fact that I am pregnant to your child and it was the result of love. Not of forced marriage, or of lies and deceit. Your seed has bloomed in me with the blessings of our love. Nothing can change that. You can send me away to the most remote dwarven city of Middle Earth, but know this. I will still love you, I will still carry your child to birth, I will raise them the best way I can and I will never stop hoping that you will return to me. Because my love, if there wasn't for this child in my loins, I would have taken my own life..."

He hissed then and his fists opened up and tried to grasp her hands.

It was her turn to pull away from him, "Don't touch me!"

He pulled back in despair and looked at her with deeply pained eyes.

"I never worked as a prostitute. I was asked to do it, many times over, but I denied. That is why I ended up getting raped! I shared a room with a prostitute, yes. She was my best friend, that's true. Did she try to make me work with her? Never. I preferred to die in the wild forests of Middle Earth than have another man force himself on me, with or without money. Did I ever expect to end up in the service of your honourable sister? Never. Did I believe it possible to get to know personally the legendary Thorin Oakenshield? Not a chance in the whole world. Did I believe that I would fall in love with you the moment I saw you...?" she smiled sadly.

Tears run down the side of his face.

"I was in love with you even before I met you," she looked up at him wistfully. "Can I breathe now that you are sending me away?" she frowned.

He gritted his teeth. "Eilin please stop, I won't send you away...you don't have to leave Erebor, just give me time to settle down for I cannot think clearly anymore. I need time."

She raised her hand up to him with newfound courage and authority. "Did my heartbreak change your mind? I don't care. That was not my intention! Now listen closely. Can I breathe while you are sending away? I can! You want to know why?!"

He didn't know what to say.

"Because I have to breathe for our child Thorin. This child needs to live even if we are unable to be together. Remember how you told me that night in the elven realm, to breathe for you?" she looked at him with a sad smile.

He nodded.

"I am not going to breathe for you anymore. I am going to breathe for our child and I will live. I don't want to go to your Halls in the Blue Mountains because everything there will remind me of you. I don't want the gold you are offering, because no matter my own dire state I never approached you for your position or the rivers of gold you command. Remember how you always told me to see the real Thorin and not the King? That is what I did, no matter that now you don't believe me. Your ghosts are not allowing you to live with me, to live in the now. You slipped out of my hands and rolled back into the past didn't you?"

He reached out then and enfolded her into his body and she didn't have the strength to resist him. She embraced him so quickly and so hard the air got knocked out of his lungs. "Don't cry..." He whispered.

She shook her head with newfound despair. "I have never expected anything nice out of life, but this time life proved to me that I was wrong. Life showed me that I deserved the most precious gift from the most unique man." She pulled back away from him and touched her lower stomach. "You gave me the best token to remember you by. Thank you for that. I don't ask for anything more. I will depart tomorrow morning."

He tried to get pull her back in. "No, give me time to simmer down. I am overtaken by feelings I cannot comprehend, much less control. Give me time to understand what is happening...to try to understand were the truth is. Give me time, " the words came out with difficulty from his mouth.

She raised her hand, stopping him dead on his tracks. "So you want me to remain as what? As your ex lover? Are you going to protect my honour towards your Kingdom and keep our feud a secret? How are you going to cover up the fact that we are not going to get married anymore? How will I be able to walk freely in these halls while my stomach is growing bigger if I am not going to be your fiancee anymore?! I will end up being the pregnant maiden that's been thrown aside by the King. That's so unfair to me, to you and to our child. I won't remain unless you are willing to see the truth. To believe me. It's not you that will throw me out this time. I will walk out by myself no matter how much this hurts me!"

He pressed his lips and his face was streaming with tears. He made a move to enfold her again in his arms, but she pulled away.

"What? Do you want to embrace me again? Maybe kiss me or make love to me? What do you want to do to ascertain your dominance against a man who I have never heard off before? As long as you believe that I have made love to him and I am carrying his child there is not future for us. No matter how much my own words are killing me right now, I know that they are true. I love you Thorin. I could have given my life for you, but not now. Not anymore, because I have to live for our child and I have to raise it in an environment that is going to respect us both."

He pulled back and embraced himself in order to keep himself from collapsing.

"I am never going back to Erebor as a dishonoured woman. I will only remain as your proud wife, hopefully holding our child in my arms. No half measures are good enough for me, no matter that I am a penniless servant from nowhere. I will stand proudly next to you, or not at all! You are the one who taught me how to stand up for myself! You taught me to be fearless and I will be so for our child! Are you willing to believe me Thorin, over all these lies? Tell me yes and I shall remain. I will try to fix everything that we have broken, I promise. Just tell me that you believe me. Not that you pity me, nor that you pity the child in me. Tell me that you believe me!" she cried.

He felt like he was going to asphyxiate on the words he should have spoken with such ease. A cold invisible hand around his vocal chords was chocking out every sound that he wanted to make.

She smiled sadly, "I clearly see that you are not. I don't need your pity."

Those words made the invisible hand release him unexpectedly. He squeezed his fists tightly. "Pity is the last thing I would feel for you Eilin. Listen for I don't have the strength to speak..." he tried, but she didn't allow him to continue. Her anger had overtaken her ability to hear his few masked words that were whispering for help.

"I still remember what you told me a while back at the burial grounds." she continued, her voice bitterly courageous.

He tried to remember, but his mind was sobbing so hard it had not the ability to think anymore.

"That you are afraid to give promises. That you have broken your promises before," she looked up solemnly.

He held his breath and felt the blood draining from his face.

She nodded. "You were right. You should never promise anything to anyone, because it hurts. I hurt. I have seen darkness in my life Thorin, but what you have put me through is on another level."

He closed his eyes and something disengaged from his heart. "Forgive me..."

"For being unable to believe me, instead of your ghosts?" she smiled sadly.

He forced himself to look at her even though her gaze was so heavy it almost burned through him. He remained silently beaten by her fearless words.

"The greatest people that have ever been in society were never versions of someone else." she said.

He kept his eyes on her transfixed.

"I know what a great man you are, exactly because you are not a version of someone else. Don't let the ghouls of the past turn you into their versions, because then all your greatness will evaporate into the void you so much fear. I am sorry you couldn't fight your demons well enough to keep us together." She said with a wisdom that grabbed him by the lapels and screamed onto his face about all his weaknesses.

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

She nodded in defeat, "Goodbye Thorin," and walked away from him.

Once more he was seeing the woman he loved walking away and whose fault was it this time also? His and only his. Like it had been with Siv. It was in his hands to believe her honest words today, but his heart just couldn't make the leap of faith. He was unable. Her baby belt, this man's pregnant wife, his own infertility, everything bespoke of a blunt betrayal and yet his soul wanted so much to believe Eilin's words. His mind twisted and bend around the thought that he could maybe adopt her child from this other man and raise it as his own. He went even so far as to convince himself that he could walk through the fire that was tormenting his soul and come out the other side for her.

Yet he was hurting too much to bear these thoughts. They were tearing him apart.

Every wound she opened in his heart was heavily bleeding. It was too soon for him to act as descent and graciously towards her as he would have wanted. It was too soon to allow his deep love for her shine through. Right now his body and soul were in pain and he was blind. The real Thorin had retreated far behind the heavy walls of his defences and was hiding hurt in the darkest recesses of his brain. He looked at her slim figure getting lost into the ruins of Ravenhill and with her departed every single part of his beating heart.

Standing there at the edge of the frozen waterfall was not Eilin's Thorin, but Thorin the second, King under the Mountain waiting broodily a small step behind to take over and make things right both for him and for his people. The ghosts of his own insecurities, but also of his forefathers that had faded away under Eilin's strong life force were now waiting in tow, eager to bounce back into their original positions. He was torn between what his heart wanted to believe and what the proof was screaming was the truth...and the pain...that pain was not allowing his heart to take over. That pain made his heart hide away behind the steely exterior of the brooding King that was ready to come back with a vengeance.

He stayed there trying to stir clear from the terrifying tailspin that was threatening to pull him down. Trying to hold onto some loving memory in order to keep his true self there, but there were no angels this time gracing the lines spoken between them. The only thing that echoed in his mind were her beseeching words.

"Believe me..."

* * *

It was near afternoon when he raised his eyes to the door of his office that was banging insistently. He didn't even remember how he managed to get back from Ravenhill, neither did he remember if anyone addressed him as he walked to his study and locked himself up once more. The only thing he remembered clearly was telling Balin that he needed Bilbo in here immediately.

"Yes", he said with a hoarse voice that barely resembled his rich undertones that shook Erebor with each solemn command.

The door opened up and Bilbo entered. He looked at the darkness around him and closed the door quietly. "Oh, darn it. Thorin?"

The King closed his eyes and withdrew into himself. "Come in Bilbo."

The hobbit jerked nervously and squinted his eyes to see the dark figure of Thorin behind the office. "Why the hell are all the candles out? I can barely see you." He said and approached.

"My eyes hurt..." he let that thought trail off.

Bilbo rounded the desk and saw the King sitting on his chair with his arms crossed and his hands grasping his shoulders protectively. It looked like he was trying to keep his body from falling apart. "You really don't look all that well."

A small smile flared on Thorin's lips. "Don't I? A pity."

Bilbo frowned and sat at the edge of his desk. "What's going on?"

"A lot master Burglar." Thorin whispered.

"Will you speak to me?" Bilbo frowned.

Thorin shook his head. "No, I will only give you a request that comes from the heart."

Bilbo swallowed heavily. "I am listening."

"Prepare yourself in order to depart immediately."

Bilbo stood across from Thorin observing him closely for a long time after the King gave him his quiet request. Then he sank deep into his darkness once again, not even acknowledging the presence of the hafling in his office. To Bilbo the change in Thorin was heart breaking. It seemed as if the sick king that had first entered Erebor was back again, only a thousandfold. It was as if both the ghosts of Thrain and Thror had entered him at once with such ferocity that their intrusion killed the real Thorin once and for all.

"I beg your pardon?" Bilbo frowned.

"You heard me," Thorin's eyes turned to him slowly.

"Did you just order me out of your stronghold?" Bilbo looked slightly amused notwithstanding the rather grim countenance of his friend.

"You were preparing to depart, correct?"

"Yes, but I was hoping to stay and help you through this rather grim situation you found yourself in the last few days." Bilbo crossed his arms.

Thorin tensed.

Bilbo shook his head. "Don't worry. Your people don't really know what is going on, but they feel that something bleak has taken over the Royal family. The closest ones of your company know that your fairytale has come to an abrupt stop, but we are all short on the details."

The King's stare left the fire and Bilbo had the chance to see that his eyes were teary.

"The common people of Erebor have invested so much in your story with Eilin, but thankfully they know nothing of this new darkness. They just cannot see your beautiful maiden nowhere and neither can they see and admire their proud King. Everything nice in Erebor has come to an equally abrupt stop and now everyone is lingering in the same void that you are. Waiting for the developments." Bilbo said quietly.

Thorin rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes in defeat.

"Don't let your people down in this time of need Thorin. Don't let them believe that fairytales never have good endings. They need the hope your rulership was giving them. Don't take it away from them."

"The hope was taken away from me also. I have none to give now," he whispered.

Bilbo nodded. "You've found yourself in a rather grim position that's true. You are irrevocably exposed in your relationship with Eilin and you have to deal with everyone's expectations out of this story and above all yourself. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes." Bilbo's honesty felt almost painful.

Thorin nodded. "I should have been more careful."

"But your heart spoke louder than your mind, didn't it?" Bilbo smiled.

Thorin looked up at him grimly.

Bilbo waved him off. "You have a heart of gold under all this vengeful anger that has overtaken you. Don't let the past sink you down Thorin. I've seen the change this girl has caused in you. I am not wise enough to tell you who to believe, nor I am able to dig deep into your heart to understand what gears are turning behind each of your decisions, but I will beg you."

Thorin averted his eyes feeling wretched.

"Don't lose the part of your soul this girl has dug up for you. If nothing else she has offered you a new life, a new perspective. She has given Erebor a new ruler that the people adore. She has lifted up the dark veil of your ancestry. Don't let it fall back into place, no matter what happens with her in the end." Bilbo said with a wistful smile.

Thorin shook his head and huffed in dismay, "your requests are very difficult to fulfil."

Bilbo's eyes clouded and he pressed his lips, "The road ahead will be a hard uphill battle. The road behind is a downward spiral. It's your decision what road to take. Now tell me please, why did you call me here? It's not to ask me to leave is it? You are asking for help, aren't you?"

"I am," Thorin admitted quietly.

"Tell me what you want me to do," Bilbo said and leaned over to grasp Thorin's forearm.

The King turned his eyes to the fire once more and it took him several long moments to gather the courage to speak once again to Bilbo. "I want you to get Eilin out of here."

Bilbo frowned, "where do you want me to take her?"

"To the Shire." Thorin's eyes fell on him with such a honest plead that Bilbo's heart broke open for his friend.

He smiled and pressed Thorin's forearm, "with great pleasure."

Thorin's eyes fluttered in relief and he closed them. Bilbo saw the tears falling down his cheeks, "thank you, this means a lot to me."

Bilbo nodded, "I can see that."

Thorin hesitated for a few moments. "She refuses any help I am offering and I can justify it. She doesn't even want the escort I offered for her safety. We are on bad terms right now, but I need to know that she's situated somewhere safe."

Bilbo interposed. "I will take her with me, worry not. I will keep her in my home for as long as she wishes or as long as you command. I suppose you don't want me to tell her this was your idea?"

"No," Thorin looked up sharply.

Bilbo stuck his thumbs in his vest and nodded thoughtfully. "I will think of something to convince her, worry not my friend. She will be safe with me."

Thorin closed his eyes in relief. "I will provide you with any gold you may need for her and her child..."

Bilbo waved him off. "I don't need your money."

Thorin looked at him sternly.

"I've got enough to sustain us. I got paid for Smaug, remember?" Bilbo smiled.

A small ghostly smile cracked on Thorin's lips. He nodded.

Bilbo straightened. "Fine then. When shall we depart?"

"She's getting ready to leave tomorrow..."

Bilbo spoke over him again, "so soon! Oh, I need to think of a way to convince her to join me and fast." He began pacing thoughtfully in Thorin's study.

Thorin's face darkened once again as he spoke the next words. "You shall not take the northern passage over Ravenhill in this weather."

Bilbo frowned, "Going south through Rhovanion is going to take us much longer and with the orc attacks I'd like to pass through the Misty Mountains within a week."

"You will go through Mirkwood" -Thorin said with a hushed tone- "you shall not even approach the frozen roads of the northern ranges." His voice was heavy and austere.

Bilbo raised his brow. "Will Thranduil allow us free passage?"

Thorin nodded. "He will."

Bilbo looked at him thoughtfully. "I am still worried though about possible orc attacks on the road. You sure I cannot convince her that we take along your soldiers?"

"No. I will try to twist this in some manner according to her wishes." he said quietly.

"How are you going to do that?" Bilbo frowned.

Thorin looked up at him with a deep frown but didn't reply.

Bilbo looked at him thoughtfully for a long time and on seeing that Thorin was not willing to give a more detailed answer he inclined his head. "Very well, I will get ready and I will go talk to her."

"Thank you," came the hushed reply.

When Bilbo closed the door of the study Balin questioned him immediately, "what did he tell you?"

Bilbo straightened his vest proudly. "The Mountain King has bestowed on me the greatest responsibility and I am proud to be able to assist him during this painful time."

Balin frowned confused as Bilbo walked away with his mind already conniving ways to convince the young desperate woman to follow him to Bag End.

* * *

It was close to dusk when Dwalin found Eilin trying to prepare her carriage. He approached and spoke quietly.

"Did you find him?"

She cast her eyes down and felt them tearing once more. "Good evening my Lord. I did."

He walked around the carriage and searched for her eyes, "and?"

"I am leaving tomorrow morning. Can you help me prepare my carriage please?"

His mouth opened up and an exhalation of defeat escaped him.

She noticed and it took her a long time to speak. The words came out with difficulty and as she spoke them she had to sit down on the steps of the carriage as her legs couldn't carry her anymore. "The baby is his. He swears he cannot have children, but someone has to believe me lest I go crazy. I swear in the life of my unborn child, it is his!"

"I believe you," Dwalin sounded honest.

"I never thought that our story would end well mister Dwalin. Worlds too far apart, with so many obstacles in the middle. I never expected to be his wife, neither to fall pregnant by him so quickly, but most of all I never expected our story to end with such disgrace. In a heap of dishonourable lies from a dwarf that decided to take his own life and all his secrets with him…..leaving behind the only incriminating evidence that he may have known me once, my baby belt. Never did I expect the king to believe this man instead of me….but life worked against me like it always does. My Firebeard belt that conveniently found it's way into this man's hands and the certainty of the King that he is infertile build a strong case against me didn't they?"

Dwalin felt more emotional than he had bargained.

She wiped the tears away, "I may be poor but I was never a whore.."

"I know".

"I never chased after gold, only a home where I could belong. I never intended to fall so hard for the King and I never expected my heart to able to have so much love for him….I don't care who he is. Even if he was a pauper I'd still try to build a life next to him. Now he gave me this child to remember him by, even though he will never accept it as his. Maybe the Gods felt sorry for me…maybe they knew that if he send me away empty I would have killed myself so they deemed me worthy of this immeasurable gift. Or maybe they are keeping me alive because this child might write history someday, right? " she smiled and tears etched on her skin.

Dwalin pressed his lips tightly.

"Tell him that I forgive his disbelief of me. That I know how easy my betrayal might have seemed, but I never betrayed him. Never! Tell him that I shall never forget him, that I will always love him to my dying day and that I will raise his child the best way I can. Tell him that I may be poor, but I still have my dignity."

Dwalin exhaled, finally giving up under Eilin's heavy words. "Don't go…let me intervene in this…let me help him see the truth. He's blinded right now. Angry beyond reason because he loves you too much, let me help both of you".

She shook her head, "No…everything happened for a reason. The King must return to his carven throne and the maiden must return to her quiet life. Just tell him that I will always be there somewhere in Middle Earth waiting for him and his beloved child shall be with me. That as long as our child lives a part of my Thorin will live inside it. Through our child my hope shall live forever", she said and her eyes spilled rivers that she hid from him by averting her eyes.

That is when an unusually happy voice interrupted them. It seemed so out of place and time that they both looked up taken aback. "Well hello there both of you!" Bilbo said and smiled brightly at both of them.

She looked away and tried to clear her face, "hello master Baggins."

He frowned, "did I come at a bad time?"

"No, no..." she said and turned around to face him. She forced her mouth to form a smile.

Dwalin shook his head, "you chose a rather uncomfortable time indeed."

Bilbo looked from one to the other confused, "you and him are in direct contradiction. Am I bothering or not?"

"Yes!" Dwalin barked.

"No!" Eilin rejoined.

They looked at each other and she was the one that broke the uncomfortable silence, "will you help me with the carriage tomorrow my lord? I'd be in your dept."

Dwalin sighed deeply and gave Bilbo a fleeting look, "If I cannot do anything more substantial for you, then yes I will."

"You cannot." -she smiled sadly- "thank you. It means a lot."

Dwalin shook his head and walked away. That left Eilin with Bilbo standing across from each other in silence for a few moments.

"I need to go," she pointed towards the kitchens.

"I heard something about a carriage tomorrow. You going somewhere then?" he stood on tiptoe trying to see above her shoulder at the aforementioned carriage.

She felt her breath catching and looked away. "I am leaving Erebor."

"Going back to the Ironhills?" he asked and she looked at him confused. He seemed blissfully unaware of what had taken place between her and Thorin.

"No."

"Where to then?"

"I don't know yet," she wiped away her hands on her trousers trying to alleviate her discomfort. He may seemed oblivious of her recent distress with the King, but he knew they were engaged. She counted the moments where he'd start asking questions.

He surprised her, "I was thinking of leaving tomorrow also you know. What a great coincidence."

She looked down at him with a small frown of disbelief, "you did?"

"Yes!" Bilbo stuck his thumbs on the armpits of his vest.

"When did you arrange your trip? Just now that you heard me doing it?" her frown darkened. The thought that Thorin put Bilbo up to this came to her out of the blue.

Bilbo looked at her confused, "I was arranging my trip for the past week if you should know. I've told Thorin I miss home and I was going to leave the moment he got the Arkenstone back. He doesn't need me anymore. I remained long enough."

Her frown deepened, "did he put you up to this?"

Bilbo frowned deeply, "upon what?"

"Did he tell you to come with me?"

"Of course not, why would he?" Bilbo sounded so honestly taken aback that she wavered with indecision.

"I-I don't know," she bit her upper lip.

Bilbo pointed a finger at her. "Look I am not here to give you the third degree about why you are leaving and Thorin refuses to talk to me. I think I've had enough of his broodiness for a lifetime. I am leaving tomorrow and I have seen what a great maiden you are. I've witnessed your loyalty to the King. Now will it be very forthcoming to ask you to accompany me during my journey to Hobbiton? If you have a place you indent to go I can accompany you there. I like your company and I hate travelling alone. If you don't have a place to stay then maybe you could come to my house to work as a maiden."

"The what?" she asked truly bewildered.

"What?" he rejoined.

"Did you just offer me a job?" she cringed feeling the confusion of her talk with Bilbo pushing back the agony about Thorin if only momentarily.

"I suppose I did," Bilbo smiled at her.

"Thorin put you up to this for sure!" she frowned.

"Wait a minute! Do you suggest that I am not able to think on my own? What in the name of Eru? Fact is that brooding bastard has no idea I am talking to you and I presume he's gonna be in fury that I have dared to offer his fiancee a job. Actually come to think of it maybe we should call the whole thing off. I don't want Thorin's wrath on my tail. Forget it, forget I ever mentioned anything.." He waved her off casually and turned around to go back inside.

She bolted after him, "we have broken up."

"Oh," was the only thing that came from Bilbo as he stopped. She expected more, but nothing came. He turned around and looked at her nonchalantly.

She looked at him, "well?"

"Well what? Now I am totally confused." the hobbit asked with a calm smile.

"Aren't you going to ask me for the whole story?"

Bilbo waved her off. "I am not indiscreet. If you felt the need to get rid of that angry King, then it's your prerogative. Eru knows how difficult it was for me to sustain through his torments during our journey. You should ask Bard how difficult it was to get a grip on Thorin also." -Bilbo wriggled his arms- "I cannot wait to get out of here really."

Eilin opened her mouth to speak, but stopped at the last moment.

Bilbo smiled up at her. "Well, I wish you a safe journey young lady and may you find happiness somewhere else. Far away from the darkness of this man. You deserve much better." He offered her his hand.

She looked at it with a deep indecisive frown.

Bilbo waited a moment longer and then withdrew his hands. "Oh, well goodbye. Take care!"

Eilin raised her hand. "Wait please.."

Bilbo turned and raised his brows calmly. "What is it?"

Eilin sighed deeply, "That job offer...if it was indeed your own decision..." she looked around half expecting Thorin to be watching them from behind some dark column.

"This is the second time you are suggesting I cannot think on my own. If you should know I tricked a dragon out of the Arkenstone young lady. My brain works very well, thank you! I need some assistance in my house and I have seen what a great maiden you are. If you are free from your obligations in Erebor I'll gladly employ you. I don't know if it's going to be permanent of course..." he said, but she spoke over him.

"I don't care about permanent mister Bilbo, just for some money to get a new start for me and my..." she stopped and her hand caressed her stomach absently.

He looked down at it.

"Just to get into a new start..." she corrected herself and forced a smile.

He grinned up at her. "I can do that for you, if you can help me with the mess of my house."

She reached up a trembling hand and offered it to him. "I'll try my best."

Bilbo grinned pleased and crashed her fingers between his. "Perfect, just perfect!"

Eilin's ghostly smile faded away into nothingness and her eyes teared up once more, but her fingers pressed Bilbo's hand as her heart was aching to find some new hope anywhere. Even at this small hobbit that came out of nowhere to become her unexpected guardian angel.

* * *

When the door of his office knocked again Thorin barely opened up his eyes. His head felt heavier than his body. He shifted slightly on his armchair and almost kicked the footrest from under his legs by mistake, yet he didn't even have the courage to straighten it up again. His eyes closed down quickly and he allowed the alcohol in his blood to soothe him down, for now that Eilin had decided to abandon him nothing could console him. All hope was lost. The only thing that mattered was for her to reach the Shire safely. He needed to know that she was taken care off. An infernal sleep began capturing him once again, but the soft knock on the door returned to make his eyes open up unwillingly.

"Go away," he grumbled and turned his head the other way. He wanted to see no one, more so to speak to anyone. Where was Balin anyway to stop them from waking him up?

Apparently the person didn't hear him, or chose to overlook it. There were no more knocks on the door, but it did open up quietly. Thorin didn't even hear it. The soft footsteps approached his armchair and then a curious voice made him look up with a glazed look of complete intoxication.

"Hi mister King." Little Lis was nibbling her upper lip.

A small frown of confusion rippled on his clouded brow. "What the hell are you doing in here?"

Lis raised her finger to him austerely. "Don't swear! You are not setting a good example for me."

Thorin closed his eyes again and turned his head the other way. "Get out of here girl. Go to your mother."

Lis didn't hesitate. "I cannot. I have a mission, you see."

Thorin didn't open his eyes. "I am not in the mood to know."

"I won't reveal it to you. It was entrusted to me! Was that correct?" she sounded uncertain.

A small dismal smile came over his pale lips. "I cannot complain. Where is Balin?"

"Outside Sir," Lis grinned at him proudly even though he was not looking at her.

"Why did he allow you to come in?"

Lis flicked her shoulder. "I told him I am here to help the King and he let me in. You want me to call him so you can ask him?" she offered.

Thorin cringed and shook his head. "No, can I get some sleep?" he almost begged her.

She frowned. "I won't bother you mister King. I am just going to sit here close to your feet, okay?" She settled down as she had promised.

"Isn't your mother looking for you? It's late." He noticed.

Lis shook her head. "She knows where I am. She's okay with it as long as I don't start exploring Erebor at this hour."

Thorin forced himself to look down at her with his bloodshot eyes. "Lis, I need to rest. I am in no mood for games. Just go please."

Lis shook her head. "Nope, no deal. I am on a mission!" she said again steadily.

"Which you won't reveal to me..." Thorin exhaled.

"Nope." She pressed her lips and placed her hands above her crossed legs.

"And it includes you sitting at the foot of my armchair..." he continued even though he barely had the strength to speak.

She nodded.

"What the hell is this mission? Praying for Mahal to rid me of this miserable life?" his frown deepened.

Lis's mouth dropped open at that. "Of course not mister King, what a nasty little thing to say. I'd never pray for you to die. I've already lost one father, I don't want to lose another one."

Thorin's already burning eyes teared up and he closed them and leaned his head back again. "A father..." -He humphed.

"Remember you've got his soul trapped in you." Lis noted seriously.

Thorin shook his head slightly. "Never forgot that part."

Lis's face brightened up. "You know what my dad always said about you?"

"I don't want to know," he rebuked dryly.

"He spoke about the secret Mithril veins that were buried deep into the Lonely Mountain. He told me he would be the one to discover the next one and make his King proud. I guess he didn't make it..." Lis's lips turned down.

"Life has a way of disappointing all of us doesn't it?" Thorin's face fell darkly.

"It doesn't matter. He's resting now and who knows maybe another miner will find you the endless Mithril vein that would make you so proud of your workers!" Lis looked at him eagerly.

"I am proud of them already. I don't expect any miracles to know their real value," he said quietly.

Lis smiled. "Thank you mister King."

Thorin inhaled deeply. "You are welcome, now go home and let me rest."

She waved him off. "I will remain here and I shall not speak to bother you. Part of my mission is to look after you," she said purposefully.

"Who gave you such a useless mission I wonder?" he muttered, feeling sleep edging in on him again.

Lis raised her finger again. "A knight never reveals such details!"

"So you are a knight now?" he asked and against all odds felt a forlorn smile up-tilting his lips.

"Not yet, but I will be soon. You are going to make me one when I finish my mission!" she said decisively.

He shook his head.

"As you will make me a warrior braid!" she continued.

"Such certainty. I will pray life doesn't crush all hope out of you in the future." He said feeling at the end of his tether.

Lis shook her head. "It won't mister King. Now sleep and I will stay guard."

Thorin felt his throat constricting. How could the little girl know that his enemies were not going to enter through his doors. They were already taking up hold inside him and they were the most dangerous enemy he had ever faced. He wanted to throw her out, but he had not the courage.

That is when the loving voice of Lis broke through the infernal sleep that was almost ready to pull him down. "Good, sleep now. That's perfect."

Instead of opening up his eyes he squeezed them tight and felt his throat convulsing. "No perfection this time little Lis. This time we were all imperfect." He muttered and felt himself being drawn deep into the void.


	46. The wooden bead

It was the very next day that found a small group of people at the gates of Erebor bidding their farewells. The atmosphere was heavy and lingering with darkness. Even Bilbo that was supposed to know nothing and pretend to be his happy go lucky self slowly was drawn into that exceptionally forlorn mood that had befallen everyone, with Eilin being in the worse condition of them all. Loa and Lis were quietly observant trying to keep out of the way. Well mostly it was Loa trying to keep Lis out of the way. The only one from Thorin's company attending this morning was Dwalin who stood next to Dis in brooding denial of the inevitable. It was not only that Thorin was refusing to calm down in order to see reason, it was also that Eilin was refusing to remain as long as the man she adored believed her an infidel.

Dwalin had passed the previous evening arranging Eilin's few things on the carriage that the King gave to Bilbo and after that he lingered behind the gloomily pondering King trying to knock some sense into that stubborn mind. He found a dead end with Thorin who in the end kicked him out of Thror's study and locked the doors behind, happy to remain alone. Dwalin didn't know whom to be more concerned about. The poor fragile girl who came to the irrevocable resolution to travel the dangerous road to the Shire while pregnant, or his friend who had come to the solemn decision to drink himself into oblivion unwilling to communicate with anyone. When he came down here this morning to see Eilin off, he first passed from Thror's study in order to inquire about Thorin's mood. Apparently the King didn't leave his study all night. Balin was standing a silent sentinel outside his doors denying entrance to anyone, still on pain of death. He remained with Balin trying not to be drawn down by dark thoughts until Bifur and Dori joined his brother. Only then he felt secure enough to allow Thorin his much beloved privacy and come out here to make sure the girl was going to depart safely.

Eilin denied adamantly anything that Dwalin was offering on behalf of the King since yesterday. Carriage, gold, clothes, provisions. She wanted to take nothing out of Erebor, apart from the clothes she was wearing when she first arrived and a small satchel bag with a few more threadbare hand-me-downs that she owned from the Ironhills. She didn't even take the clothes that princess Dis gave Eilin after taking her into the service of the Longbeards.

Bilbo on the other hand didn't have the same concerns as the maiden. He accepted the provisions, his share of the gold and the very good carriage the King gave him, telling Eilin that Thorin had no idea that she was coming with him. The King didn't make a public appearance for many days and unless his men spoke about the change of plans for their joined journey Thorin had no way of knowing that she was going to sit in his carriage. He was trying to find anyway possible to persuade her that these comforts were offered to the hobbit and not to her. Eilin continued to deny. So much was her pride wounded by the King's dismissal and so much was her heart broken by his certainty of her betrayal that she didn't want to use any of the comforts he was offering to Bilbo either, since she was now in the hobbit's employment.

Bilbo looked in disbelief at the horses that were meant to pull their beautiful carriage. Then he turned his annoyed glare at Dwalin.

"This is absolutely ludicrous. Thorin gave me everything new or in perfect condition except from these horses. These are a joke! Are you serious?" he placed his hands on his waist angry.

Dwalin pressed his lips and crossed his arms. "Silence hafling! Don't push your luck." He hissed and looked sideways to see if they had drawn Eilin's attention. Thankfully she was being comforted by Dis and hand't noticed them at all.

Bilbo rounded the carriage and looked at the horses testily, "did he seriously choose the oldest pair of horses Erebor owns? These relics can barely stand!"

Dwalin raised his brows.

"Take me down to the stables and I will choose a healthier pair! I've got my part of the share. I can pay for them!" Bilbo said decisively.

Dwalin shook his head, "we cannot spare any other horses. It's these ones or your feet. Take it or leave it."

Bilbo fumed, "what is he trying to do? Make my life harder than it already is? These beasts won't make it to Dale before they collapse…" -then he stopped and raised his brow- "fine forget it. I'll buy some good horses from Dale."

Dwalin walked up to him and grabbed his bicep with such force that Bilbo yelped. He leaned down close to his ear and spoke in a hushed tone. "Dale will not give you any animals either. Orders of the King. Now enough with this nonsense. These animals are good enough to take you back home."

Bilbo pulled back and cleared the creases on his tunic, that Dwalin's tight grip caused. "Alright, fine! What's going on with all this nervous tension? I just made a simple observation!"

Dwalin pulled back and pursed his lips.

Bilbo rolled his eyes. "Thank Thorin for these half dead beasts, why don't you?" He spat sardonically.

Dwalin raised his brow meaningfully. "I will not do that, but I'll make sure to pass down your gratitude for the perfect carriage, the ample provisions, the extra gold that he forced down your wallet and all the warm clothes. How about that?"

Bilbo pressed his lips and crossed his arms. "Fine, fine...do thank that old grumpy face for me and tell him I will miss him."

Dwalin scrounged his lips. "Forget about that part."

Bilbo cringed and looked at the heavy snowfall that had covered the land with a thick white blanket, "weather is still bad though."

Dwalin looked towards the horizon thoughtfully. "Snow won't last too long. When you exit Mirkwood on the west the weather will mellow down a bit. I suppose there you can buy better animals. Just keep the horses with you. Don't trade them. The King is very protective of his livestock."

Bilbo pressed his lips. "Looks like his quite the opposite. Forcing these sick animals into such heavy labour is a death penalty for them for sure."

Dwalin twisted his head and raised his brow, but remained silent.

Eilin looked up from Dis's warm embrace and blinked. She felt like she was half way out of her body, but had managed to overhear part of their conversation. "It's okay master Bilbo. I won't be in the carriage anyway, so the poor horses will be able to pull you along with the cargo. I will not burden them with any extra weight."

Both Dwalin and Bilbo turned to her. "What do you mean?" The hobbit asked her.

"I will walk behind you," she said quietly.

"Did you seriously suggest such nonsense? Get up on that carriage young lady. Now!" Bilbo ordered.

She shook her head. "I am not going to use any of the King's commodities to leave Erebor. I will leave exactly as I came."

Dis caressed her hair, "then follow him on your horse. You arrived upon a horse, remember?"

Eilin looked at Yrsa and her eyes filled with tears once more, "she's not my horse. She was a gift from him."

Dis frowned and felt the frustration towards this girl's stubbornness flaring up. "Then she's yours now. Don't act so headstrong you are making me mad."

Eilin pulled back and wrapped her threadbare coat around her body, "no my lady. I am taking anything that belongs to him."

Dis cupped her forehead and closed her eyes. She called on every single morsel of her thinly balanced patience and after feeling certain that she was not going to explode either on poor Eilin or her brother that was currently hiding in Erebor to avoid facing the destruction he had caused, she spoke. "I want you to be reasonable and think. You are in a fragile condition already. You cannot walk behind a carriage all the way back to Hobbiton, unless you want that fragile condition to fall out from inside you and die in the middle of the road somewhere."

Eilin's body shuddered at that image and her hand came down to protect her belly. She paled.

Dis nodded, "now you realise how much you are putting at stake by being so difficult?"

Eilin swallowed heavily.

"Climb on that horse and use one of the coats I have given you back in the Iron Hills to keep yourself and your child warm." Dis said sternly.

Eilin was trembling like a leaf when she reached down to take out a small pouch from her satchel. "Very well my Lady I shall do so, but only if lord Dwalin accepts the price of this horse."

Dis facepalmed hard. "Oh, no...Mahal give me patience..."

Eilin's lips twitched sadly as she turned to Dwalin that was looking at her with guarded interest. She took out all the coins in her small pouch and counted them. She grew frustrated by the knowledge that they were hardly enough to buy this magnificent horse. Then she placed them back into the pouch again and looked up to him totally disheartened. "There are twenty pieces of gold here my lord. The payments from all my work here in Erebor. Are they enough to buy Yrsa from you?"

Dwalin shook his head in despair, "don't make me take that."

A sad smile appeared on her lips. She gave him the pouch which he took reluctantly, "give them to the King and thank him for me."

Dwalin looked away dejected, "this is madness."

Dis was quick to agree. "Take the gold back! You shall not buy Thorin's gift with all this hard worked money! What the hell are you doing?!"

Eilin looked away and took Yrsa's reins in her hands. "I will ride away on her only if I buy her, my lady."

Dis felt her jawline flexing. "This horse was probably worth close to a hundred gold. Your money is hardly enough. Keep it! You shall need it for the road!"

"No my lady," Eilin refused.

Dis inhaled deeply and looked at Bilbo whose face looked miserable. "Pick her up and put her in the carriage before I lose my patience!" She suddenly commanded, changing tunes to the surprise of all.

Bilbo made to approach, but Eilin stopped him. "Keep back master Bilbo. I will use Yrsa!" She tried to put her foot on the stirrup, but her weakness took the best of her and she almost fell down. It was Dwalin that steadied her with a huff of anger.

"For Mahal's holy beard..." -he grumbled and tightened his fingers around Eilin's biceps who was trying to break free to no avail- "She won't make it back to Hobbiton in this manner," he said to Dis.

The princess grabbed Eilin's other arm and pulled her around. Their faces came inches from each other, "enough do you hear me?" She hissed.

Eilin froze.

Dis jerked her by the arm, "enough of this pride filled foolishness! I won't allow you to endanger my nephew or niece in this manner. You haven't seen the rough side of me yet. You shall witness it now!"

Eilin remained speechless with a blanched face.

Dis turned to Bilbo, "bring me the warmest coat in the carriage! One of my brother's with the fur around the neck!"

"No..." Eilin whispered.

Dis's hand locked like a vice around Eilin's arm. "I said enough!"

Eilin paused with her chest palpitating.

Bilbo brought it over. Dis stripped Eilin of her threadbare coat and threw it at Loa. "Find a pit of fire and burn it to the ground!" She commanded. Then she proceeded to dress Eilin in one of Thorin's warm coats and pulled the fur hood over her head.

Eilin's bottom lip began trembling the moment she inhaled his beloved scent and her eyes filled with tears.

Dis drew her close. "No matter what happened with Thorin, you shall leave this place like the lady you are. I don't care about your wounded pride right now. I care only that you reach your destination safely!"

Tears run down the maiden's cheeks.

"You wanted to give all your money for that damned horse, fine! You shall ride in that golden gilded carriage with all the warm clothing I can afford and Yrsa shall be tied here at the back for you." Dis said and led her to the carriage. With the help of Dwalin and Bilbo they made her sit on the back under the sturdy tent and covered her with a very heavy fur blanket from the ones that Thorin had given the hobbit. Eilin almost buried herself under it and felt all the tears she had been holding back creating rivers down her cheeks and jawline. She didn't dare say no to the angry princess….and after smelling Thorin's scent she didn't want to say no and desperately she didn't want to leave him. She wanted to push back all these clothes and all these people, open up all his locked doors and kiss his pale lips until they became cherry red again. Until both their hearts had warmed up again from being frozen to near death.

Dis turned to Dwalin. "You take this gold to my brother and throw it to his face!"

Dwalin frowned. "No I will not..."

Dis gritted her teeth. "Do it in a manner a good friend would, because my way will be far worse," she hissed.

Dwalin swallowed heavily and after a few moments of hesitation he took the pouch silently.

Dis turned to Bilbo. "Take care to ride slow. The roads are frozen."

Bilbo climbed onto the carriage next to Eilin after securing Yrsa behind. "We will."

Dis turned to Loa. "Woman. Come here!" She called.

Loa and Lis approached, "my lady?"

Dis hesitated for a moment, "can you bear to split up from your child temporarily?"

Loa grabbed Lis's hand tightly. "No my lady, I don't think so."

Dis gritted her teeth. "I want someone I trust to escort Eilin back into Hobbiton."

Eilin looked up from the blankets. "My lady I have master Bilbo I don't need Loa."

Dis raised her finger in authority. "You are pregnant! Master Bilbo has no experience with that. I would have come myself if remaining here to solve this mess with my brother was not a priority. You need a woman of experience with you. Someone who would be able to help you in case of an emergency."

"I can go, but let me take Lis with me my lady!" Loa said beseechingly.

Lis pulled her hand free. "No mom! I need to remain here to protect the King!"

"Stop with this idiocy!" Loa grumbled.

"It's not an idiocy. Don't underestimate me!" Lis crossed her arms to her chest defensively.

Dis stopped them. She placed her hands on their shoulders and then turned to Loa. "Your daughter will be under my protection here. No one is going to harm her. Can you trust me enough to let her go?"

Loa visibly hesitated. "I'll try my lady."

Dis's smile was cautious. "You lost your husband and you fear for the child, but she won't be alone. She will sleep in my rooms. Can you please escort Eilin to Hobbiton? You are the only one I trust and you have experience with pregnancies. You can help her. I would have gone with her, but I need to remain. Someone has to take care of my brother no matter how mad I am at him right now."

Loa's eyes teared up as she looked at her daughter.

"Come on mom! I am going to sleep with the princess and I am going to help the King!" Lis grasped her hands and jumped with excitement.

Seeing her daughter so untroubled with the new arrangement made Loa's reluctance retreat slightly. "If it's so important I can try my lady."

"Don't split up a family for me," Eilin whispered.

Dis turned to her angrily. At that moment she was pissed off with both her brother and her sister in law. "You, pardon my language, shut up! Not another word from your mouth, understand!?"

Eilin paled and buried her chin on the heavy blanket. A sob raked her chest.

Then Dis turned to Loa, "go fix your things and we shall wait for you here."

Loa wiped away the tears from her face and scattered inside to fix her bag. Lis remained with the princess looking far more pleased than her mother. She was puffing up with pride and smiling smugly.

Bilbo shook his head and then turned to Eilin. He rubbed her trembling shoulders and tucked her further into the blankets. "You okay now?"

She nodded and another sob escaped her.

"I suppose I will be taking into my service more people than I had bargained for," Bilbo said with a gentle smile.

Eilin's teary eyes looked at him in despair. "You didn't know I was pregnant. I didn't want to say anything master Bilbo. I am so sorry for keeping it from you."

Bilbo shook his head. "It was mentioned to me yesterday, by mistake I am sure, but my upbringing doesn't allow me to comment on such personal matters. Hobbits are far less judgmental than all the other races. You'll find out that soon enough when we reach the Shire!" He said proudly.

"How will I be able to serve you in my condition?" She mumbled.

He waved her off, "pretty adequately I suppose."

She made to get off the carriage. "I cannot burden you master Bilbo. You must find another maiden."

His grip was tight on her hand, pushing her down. "Stay still darling. Once you enter Bilbo's carriage there is no other choice but to follow him home. Every road in Middle Earth leads to Bagshot Row. You are staying with me. I have employed you and your pregnancy is not enough for me to fire you. Okay?"

Eilin looked at him in disbelief. "Are you sure?"

"Perfectly certain!" Bilbo smiled reassuringly.

Eilin covered her face with the heavy blanket and began sobbing again. "Thank you so much."

Bilbo rubbed her shoulder blades in sympathy, "settle down. Everything is going to be alright. Settle down before that fiery princess blows both my carriage and us sky high. She's barely keeping herself from destroying Erebor, it seems."

Eilin nodded, but was unable to stop her silent crying long after Loa arrived with her things and settled onto the carriage next to her. She buried herself under a heavy blanket also, after exchanging a very emotional goodbye with her daughter.

Dis approached the carriage and pulled back the blankets. "Look at me sis."

Eilin looked up from all that fur that was surrounding her bloodshot eyes.

"You might be going away now, but you are not defeated. You stand proud and honourable against all the lies that had been uttered for you to my brother's ears. Do you understand?" Dis gritted her teeth.

Eilin shook her head quietly. "It's over. Everything is over."

"Erebor is not a stronghold of lies and deceit. These evil schemes will crumple to dust in some manner and my brother shall soon understand. Then it will be his turn to burn down the liars and bring you back!" Dis said with determination.

Eilin shook her head. "Don't feed me with false hope my lady for I will die. The only thing sustaining me right now is this child. I have to learn how to walk alone if I am to give our child a chance in life. Not try to sustain through this hell with the vague hope that the truth shall shine through in the end. Let me be, please."

Dis felt her eyes welling and she couldn't find words good enough to rebuke Eilin's heavy words.

Eilin's eyes overflowed with tears and her heart cried in pain. She nodded. "You know I am right."

It took Dis a lot of effort to speak next and the words felt heavy through her lips. "Keep the baby in your loins healthy. Loa will assist you. All my thoughts are with you and all my blessings. We shall see each other soon."

Eilin closed her eyes, but she remained silent.

"Take care of her, will you?" Dis addressed Bilbo.

He smiled knowingly. "Of course my lady. We will take care of each other, right?" He turned to Eilin.

Another barely discernible nod from Eilin before she pulled the blankets over her head. Loa's hand came up to rub her back. Dis smiled sadly as Bilbo set the carriage in motion. They remained out there under the heavy snowfall looking at the carriage getting lost under the thick white curtain for a long time. When there weren't anymore signs of the three travellers Dis turned to Dwalin.

"What are you still doing here? Why aren't you rubbing Eilin's gold at Thorin's face?" The suppressed wrath returned to her voice.

"I didn't speak before in front of the others, but calm down cousin," -he pursed his lips testily- "I will take the gold to him. I know how much Eilin's departure pained you, but remember that your brother is equally broken. Don't make him worse than he already is."

Dis felt her anger washing away in a wave of regret and her eyes teared up.

Dwalin inclined his head sadly and walked inside the gates.

Dis crossed her arms and stood there looking at the snowy road miserably. It was Lis's voice that brought reality back for the princess. "What's the plan then my lady?"

Dis looked down at the brave girl. "The plan?" she said quietly.

Lis's gave the princess a lopsided smile, "I am ready. What are your orders?"

Dis felt a sad smile forming on her lips and averted her eyes. "I don't know yet little girl. Maybe search the forest around Erebor for clues. That might give us more answers than whatever lays in this stronghold. I don't know where to begin to be honest. I am at a loss..." she whispered in distress. She meant those words sarcastically, but Lis didn't hear that part on the princess's tone.

Lis lips turned down, but before following the princess inside she looked out at the forest that surrounded the stronghold around the River Running until her eyes saw the borders of Mirkwood in the blurry horizon. The she turned around and run after the princess with newfound determination in her eyes.

When Dis directed her steps inside she felt less and less certain of the reassuring words she had spoken to her sister in law. When the heavy doors locked behind them and she saw the darkness of the corridor that led to the throne room, her certainty wavered and everything came crushing down on her out of nowhere. In the absence of Eilin, she felt sucked in by Thorin's dark negativity towards everything and everyone around him at the moment. She instantly became angry towards the unconscious man that destroyed her family. She felt despair for Myrna that lost her baby and apprehensive towards the whole of Erebor that seemed to be consumed by the darkness that was enveloping it's King. It felt as if Thror's illness had returned a thousandfold to engulf her brother and pull them all down to the abyss with him. It was as if her grandfather's sick ghost had taken over Thorin's youthful strength in order to make the curse of their family even more destructive on it's people.

She cupped her mouth and chocked as finally after so many days the tears released from her eyes. Lis's hand grasped her forearm, "my lady are you alright?"

Dis closed her eyes and shook her head. No she wasn't alright. Not when Thorin was a desolate shadow of his former self and not when his fiancee was riding away from Erebor in such dangerous weather. Not when the darkness that abounded deep into Thorin's mind had been awoken with such violent totality and had opened up it's claws above their city threatening to tear it apart.

She couldn't be alright through all this. She just couldn't.

* * *

It took Dwalin a few tries to locate Thorin, but when he exited at the top most rampart he felt instantly overwhelmed by the corrosive energy that was escaping his best friend. Thorin was standing with his hands resting on the banisters and his eyes looking down at the high road coldly. His countenance was forbidding, his face pale, his eyes red and his lips pressed tight. Roac, who was perched right next to Thorin's leather gloved hand, flew off the moment Dwalin came out with a caw that echoed into the silent valley beneath them.

Dwalin inhaled deeply and came to stand next to his friend. "It's done, they left."

Thorin didn't move.

Dwalin pressed his lips. "Did you give orders to Roac?"

Thorin's brow flickered almost imperceptibly, "yes." His voice sounded unused.

Dwalin crossed his arms. "I am not sure the horses you gave them are healthy enough to allow them to reach Hobbiton."

"Let them purchase new ones further off, but these roads shall not be travelled with healthy and quick beasts," Thorin rejoined quietly.

Dwalin felt his heart falling at those words as he knew exactly what they meant. "Will Roac follow them?"

Another indiscernible nod came from Thorin.

"Are you sure Bard will not sell them any strong beasts?" Dwalin sighed and looked towards the horizon.

Thorin shook his head. "He won't."

"Will the elven realm allow them to pass through their enchanted paths?"

Thorin swallowed a heavily dry throat and felt his eyes closing down. "Yes. Was she easily persuaded?"

Dwalin pursed his lips. "To take the comforts you offered to Bilbo? No..."

"Did she suspect anything?" Thorin spoke in a hoarse, hushed tone.

Dwalin shook his head. "She doesn't know that you are controlling every single bit of her journey, no. She thinks you are locked up denying to talk to anyone."

"Well done," Thorin allowed that small praise for his friend, but it sounded far less rewarding than it should have been.

"Not that she's mistaken on the last part," Dwalin raised his brow.

Thorin's demanding glare fell on his friend.

Dwalin met it with courage. "You are locked up, denying to speak to anyone."

Thorin turned away with a look of aversion and his azure eyes got lost into the horizon. "End of discussion." He was dismissive.

Dwalin's lips turned down, "on your side. I am not finished yet."

Thorin's gaze this time felt formidable.

Dwalin looked at him hard and long before deciding to speak once more. "She denied to use your carriage or clothes. She denied any provisions you supplied. She refused any help. She wanted to leave Erebor exactly as she arrived. Hadn't it been for the ferocious character of your sister that took over, Eilin would have probably left Erebor on foot behind Bilbo's carriage."

Thorin felt his fingers trembling.

Dwalin dug up through his vest and took out Eilin's small pouch. He placed it next to Thorin's hand. "Dis fixed up her up well and good, don't worry. She send Loa along to take care of her."

Thorin remained impassive, outside. He didn't even turn to look at the small pouch whose strings were flapping with the strong winds up there at the top of the Lonely Mountain.

"Eilin didn't even want to take Yrsa with her. She wanted to pay for her. That's all the gold she had on her. She told me to give it to you, as payment for her horse." Dwalin's voice didn't sound as confident as before.

Thorin's heart stopped. His mouth opened up slightly and a inaudible exhalation of suffering came out. Dwalin didn't notice.

Dwalin felt reluctant and for good reason to express the next words. "This woman acted with great merit towards you at a moment of great personal pain where she was defeated by the odds against her. She proved an integrity of character one cannot argue against. She showed a rare virtue when she denied every comfort you offered her exactly because she felt wronged by you..."

Thorin's hand tightened around the banister.

"Not by you...forgive me. Wronged by the solid amount of proof against her. You are not in the proper mental clarity to process this calmly, but you know what?"

Thorin braced himself.

"I still believe her..."

Thorin closed his eyes.

"And so does your sister..." Dwalin continued. "And I think that deep down you believe her too, but the ghosts of your past are struggling that loving part out of you, denying it to surface."

"Enough!" the roughness of Thorin's voice echoed upon the mountaintop.

Dwalin pressed his lips and squeezed his eyes tight. "You are my King, you are my brother, you are my kin and for all those reasons I am not going to lie to you. Forgive me."

Thorin felt his whole body trembling with adrenaline, "get out!"

"Very well..." Dwalin turned around and left, not wanting Thorin to see the tears that were pooling in his eyes.

Thorin's jawline clenched and his nose flared as he tried to keep down the explosive emotions that Dwalin's words had awoken. When he spoke next his words came like a whiplash to the guards that stood at the flanks of the royal balcony, "Leave!"

They bowed in unison and walked steadily down the steps as Thorin closed his eyes against the frozen wind and his heart against the pain he was feeling for Eilin. His soul closed up tight against the fear he felt for her perilous journey. There were so many similarities to his past and so many differences. Once again he had driven a woman he loved away. Not this time in order to fulfil the expectations of his forefathers, but because he was unable to raise above his own demons. He was unable to accept her betrayal. He was unwilling to accept that another man had offered her the gift he should have given her. The moment his mind tried to make the leap of faith to believe her words that knowledge came to enrage him. To make every single defensive wall he owned fall back into place and put another bottle of mead onto his hands day after day and night after night. So he remained locked away from everyone with his heart torn to threads, drinking himself to oblivion, feeling more and more powerless with each passing day.

The realisation of how many things he had risked for her sake was not helping him either. The aggravation he went through with the delegations in order to assert his choices to them, the endless meetings, the disbelief, the distrust. The Arkenstone standing alone above an empty throne that he denied to occupy, especially after all these wrong choices he had made. The Raven Crown he never wore and all those precious moments he passed with her that were gone forever. His need to sustain the real Thorin began withdrawing with each one of those desolate thoughts. Slowly the stern Mountain King, Thrain had always demanded out of him, was returning along with his bitterness at how stupid he had been to believe that there was still some hope for him.

At the end of each agonising day he passed out at the desk of his office with the same thought in his drunken mind. Why did the maker bring him back from the dead in Ravenhill?

If it was to suffer so, then Vala Aule was cruel.

His gloved hand tightened into a fist as he pushed Eilin's pouch away from the banister with such force that all the coins fell onto the balcony. Several off them rolled down the steps. With a groan of wrath and totally incapable of suppressing his violently spinning emotions he turned around and walked down, stepping over Eilin's hard worked coins heartlessly.

The walk back to Thror's study was unobstructed, mostly because no one dared to approach him. When he closed the door behind, it took him a long time to stop pacing like a caged animal in front of the heavy library. He took off his heavy coat and gloves and threw them at the corner of the room with no care whatsoever. That was not enough though to abate the fury that was twisting his sanity around like a toy. So he shed also his vest and heavy belt, remaining only with his dark maroon tunic that was heavily sweaty. Every time he heard the wind outside howling a fresh wave of mind numbing terror overtook his mind, making him almost paranoid. He was in the middle of a seesaw between rage and terror.

One moment he was groaning in wrath at Eilin's betrayal and the very next he was picturing her carriage slipping at the northern passages and her falling to her death, exactly like Siv had. It mattered not that he ordered Bilbo to stir clear off the passages, nor that he gave them the slowest horses Erebor possessed or that he had send out the ravens after them. It mattered little that he had send his ravens to Thranduil to ask for an escort for Eilin, or that the Elven King had reassured him for the security of the passage. Nothing was enough to calm down his ever growing bad temper and paranoia.

It took him several tries to focus on anything that could take him out of that whirlwind that was confusing him and making him unpredictable. Even though he knew exactly why he had come up here, he was unable to sit down and focus on the job. Noon passed and only when the early moments of the afternoon arrived and the sun began setting was he able to sit down at his desk, but still his eyes were looking blankly at the fire. He made no try to do anything. He simply wanted to find some mead in order to get thoroughly drunk once more.

Upon that thought he pushed his chair back in order to find Balin and get fresh bottles of alcohol when his boot kicked something from under the desk. It rolled with a wooden click onto the stone floor. Thorin looked down with small frown and slowly his heart froze. He leaned down to pick up a long forgotten wooden bead with a small daisy carved on it. He brought it close to his face and his eyes teared up as he gazed at it lost. He remembered the day this unsophisticated hair ornament fell from her long lush red hair. He remembered picking it up and how embarrassed he had been for taking a token from this beautiful woman without her knowledge. A few tears trailed down his nose and he licked them off his lips, tasting their saltiness as his eyes looked wistfully at her hair bead. Then his hand tightened around it and he pulled up a clean scroll with newfound determination.

When he lit up the candle, it's flickering orange hue threw terrifying shadows onto his pale and sweaty countenance. When he picked up the quill and dipped it to the ink, his hand was shaking almost uncontrollably, but the moment the quill touched the parchment it became steady and his thick brows creased with resolution.

His famous calligraphy began filling up the scroll quickly and soon he had reached the bottom. He took the red candle and spilled some on the scroll. Then he pressed the sigil of his royal ring on it and exhaled half in relief, half in defeat. His eyes turned solemn as he began re-reading the parchment. It was the soft knock on the door that made him look up from the trance he had placed himself in. Eilin's wooden bead was still buried into the tight fist of his free hand. He denied it the opportunity to get lost again under some desk.

"Come in," he whispered. A curious choice of words since during the last week he never welcomed anybody close to him.

The door opened and Fili's worried face made it's appearance. "Uncle?"

Thorin nodded without taking his eyes away from the official looking scroll. "Good evening."

Fili came in and closed the door behind him. "Are you alright?"

"That can be debated," he said with a firm frown.

"I am dearly worried about you," Fili rejoined.

"You are not the only one," Thorin dismissed him.

"What is happening, please tell me," Fili approached and lingered above Thorin's shoulder.

"Tell you...there is nothing to tell you." the King's deep voice humphed.

Fili frowned and clasped his uncle's wide shoulder. "I worry about your isolation, about your mead consumption and about the paleness of your face. Tell me what is happening. I am here to help you," Fili's tone was demanding.

Thorin leaned over and signed the scroll with his beautiful signature. "I have messed up my boy." -His rich voice said and a sad smile curled up his pale lips- "not only in my personal life, but in Erebor also. It has taken me many years of being a commander and a King in Exile to figure out that I am still able to mess up as hard as I did when I was but a young dwarfling."

Fili's face fell.

Thorin smiled ruefully. "I failed my One, my family, my comrades, my forefathers, my kin, my kingdom and myself."

Fili grabbed his forearm and leaned closer, "you never failed me uncle! Never!"

The hopelessness was so obvious in Thorin's countenance that Fili felt his heart breaking. "You have always been the optimist in our family. I didn't expect anything less from you."

Fili tightened his grip on the King's arm. "Trust in me uncle. Speak to me."

"Surely you know" -Thorin raised his brow- "didn't you mother relate everything?"

Fili averted his eyes reluctantly.

Thorin inclined his head. "Of course she did."

Fili nodded, "yes, she did."

"Then why ask me something you already know?" Thorin reached up and caressed the back of Fili's head affectionately.

"Because I want to help you," Fili looked so eager to act on these loving words that Thorin's heart gave a small smile that quickly faded away.

"When the time comes I shall ask for your help indeed," Thorin's mouth formed a ghostly hairpin of a smile.

Fili frowned and felt a cold hand squeezing his stomach. "When the time comes? That scares me uncle."

"Don't fear things that have not yet come to pass." Thorin's brows furrowed thoughtfully and a dark curtain fell over his eyes.

Fili felt his breath hitching, "Yet? What are you talking about?"

Thorin averted his eyes. "When the time comes you shall know." Then he gazed down at the scroll as if he was having misgivings for it.

That quickly led Fili's eyes to it also. One sentence caught his eye in the middle of the page and it was enough to drain all the blood from his face. He inhaled sharply and Thorin's jawline tightened as he rolled up the parchment in order to get it out of Fili's sight, but it was too late.

Fili's hand fell above Thorin's stalling him. "What in the name of Mahal's beard did I just read?"

Thorin raised his brow. "You have been indiscreet. You read something you shouldn't have."

"Uncle...This is something that I will not allow to come to fruition!" Fili whispered with a broken voice.

Thorin's eyes thinned. "A bold statement young man especially since it is not your place to make such decisions."

The command in Thorin's voice made Fili blanch.

Thorin's countenance turned imposing. "You shall speak of this to no one young heir of Durin. Is that clear?"

Fili's eyes were crestfallen. His hand lost it's strength on Thorin's arm and fell numb on his side, "no...don't do this please." He begged.

Thorin stood up slowly. "You shall speak of this to no one! Not my comrades, not my court, not my best friends, not your mother," with each word Thorin's voice fell deeper into the same abyss his soul was swimming in.

Fili stood frozen like a statue, not daring take a breath. "Don't place such a burden on my shoulders father. It's too much to take..." he whispered.

Thorin's eyes teared at Fili's use of such a beloved appellation, "but sustain you shall my boy, for you must. It might seem cruel of me towards you, but this is what must and will be done. I did not intend for you to look at this parchment yet. That cannot be taken back, so your job now is to endure the burden of this knowledge." -A desolate smile broke out of his shadowy countenance- "Endure the burden, that is a trait a ruler must have from the moment he is born to the moment he lays to rest."

Fili shook his head. "I have done everything you have asked me to, but I cannot do this."

"You can," -Thorin looked up steadily- "for Durin's folk never run away from a fight, remember?"

Fili's eyes filled with tears. "Isn't this running away from a fight?"

Thorin shook his head. "This is giving that fight a last chance when it looks like everything is over..." he whispered.

Fili grasped his shoulders and his lips began trembling.

"Do you feel the pain pulling your threads apart?" Thorin towered over his nephew.

Fili quivered, "yes."

Thorin nodded quietly, "then I've done my job well with you."

Fili closed his eyes and pressed his lips tight.

Thorin's eyes remained heavy on the young man. "Now let me have some peace, son."

Fili kneeled down and kissed the King's hand with deeply emotional respect "My King!" he whispered. Then he rushed out of the study like the very demons of Mount Gundabad were on his tail. Balin caught up with the prince at the throne room. He grabbed his bicep and stopped him.

"What are you running away from?" Balin's eyes bore into the young man.

Fili pulled his arm free angrily. "From the impossible burden he placed on my shoulders!" He hissed.

Balin frowned concerned. "Who? What?"

Fili didn't answer to Balin's concerns. He sprang out of the throne room leaving a rather confused and worried Balin that didn't know whom to give more attention to. The prince or the locked door of Thror's study, behind which, Thorin stood close to the fire looking at Eilin's wooden bead as if it was the most precious gem of the whole of Erebor...


	47. Mornië utúlië *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * (Darkness has come) from Enya's song - May it be.

 

 

 

* * *

Karunn stood outside the gates holding her pony by the bridle. Her eyes were darting nervously around the snowy road, trying to discern shadows that looked out of place on the forest of the River Running. Even though her plans had worked to the utmost and right now the Royal family was being torn apart, she was still nervous and couldn't get complete satisfaction from what she had accomplished. Alf and his thugs who she had dismissed when they failed to bring back Rhiannon's body were nowhere to be seen, but she had overheard a couple of cleaning ladies the previous evening talking about shady men that were hiding around in the borders of Mirkwood. They were trying to understand how they could have gone undetected by the formidable defence lines of this stronghold, but one of them noted that since their King was in complete deterioration so was everything else around them also. The army, their defences, their safety, everything was beginning to frail at the edges as long as their King was locked behind closed doors denying to inspect his city and his army.

Karunn's heart rejoiced on hearing that the haughty King she hated so much was on the verge of destruction and at the same time she felt rather worried that these shady men could very well be Alf and his bandits waiting in the shadows to get their revenge on her for denying them payment. At the end of the day she had tricked them as much as she had tricked everyone else. Her eyes left the trees and looked at the squad her uncle Dain had prepared to escort her back to the Ironhills. Her stupid sister was standing next to her uncle, trying to wipe away her tears and to convince Karunn to remain a while longer. Valdis needed so much to share with her family the newly found romantic connection she had with the Prince of Erebor, and Karunn wanted so little to do with that. She had many other things to think about and most of all she wanted to get away from the site of devastation. She had caused Erebor to come to ruins, she was not going to sit around and enjoy her accomplishment for long though. She wanted to return to the safety of her uncle's Halls. Where no bandits or Kings or stable bitches could get to her easily.

"Won't you reconsider sis?" Valdis sniffled.

"No, I am out.." Karunn spat.

"I need you. Especially now that everything is falling to pieces. The King is nowhere to be seen. The delegations are running wild with rumours about his personal affairs and about his fiancee, who everybody saw departing yesterday. There are rumours that she had been unfaithful to him, but no one has given an official report and Erebor is in a disarray. Prince Fili needs me and I cannot get him to talk to me, the Princess is boiling with fury and no one can get near her...I am at a loss sis. I need you to stay with me. I am afraid..." Valdis pleaded.

"No. This place can blow up for all I care." Karunn looked at her sister coldly.

Dain crossed his arms. "Let her go, I am here for you little pumpkin..."

Karunn almost gagged at her uncle's obvious preference for her sister. Something that had been a trait between both Dain and her father since they were babies. Valdis was the only one Dain was addressing so lovingly in their whole family. "Can you please stop?"

Dain raised his brow. "Bothered niece?"

"My stomach is tumbling over and I am keeping myself hard from puking on your boots if you must know!" she spat.

Dain's large hand circled around her thin bicep and pressed her like a vice. She yelped. "Don't assume that rude tone with me young lady, especially after what you have done the last two months!"

Karunn paled.

"That excursion of yours almost cost me my soldiers and don't you think even for a moment that leaving this place and my care will stop any possible comeuppance for your little trip out west. Your father is already informed about it!" Dain grumbled.

Valdis pulled back and covered her mouth in fear.

Karunn gritted her teeth and tried to free her arm. "So what if I went west! Did I bother anyone?! I dismissed your soldiers but this is as far as my crimes went! I did my own thing and returned unharmed! Let me be uncle!" she demanded.

"You dismissed my soldiers before going into that sleazy human tavern to do -I don't know what!-" he jerked her roughly.

"Uncle don't..." Valdis tried.

"You stay out of this pumpkin!" he warned her and she pulled back.

"Do what!? What do you think I went there to do then uncle?" Karunn thrust her chin at him provocatively.

He raised his brow.

"What did you tell my father I went there to do I wonder. From the look in your eyes, possibly that I wanted to bed a man..." a sly smile came onto her lips.

"Insolent little wench!" Dain spat through his teeth.

"Or a woman?" Karunn raised her brow and bit her lower lip.

Dain pushed her away from him disgusted. "Vile little creature! You have respect for no one! Your father is informed and is expecting you with a whip in his hands!"

Karunn straightened her coat calmly. "Mother is there uncle...and you know father will not do anything to enrage mother..."

Dain's nose flared.

Karunn smirked knowingly. "I did nothing wrong. I didn't bed anyone in that tavern. I just wanted to see first hand the degradation and the corruption of these places. I wanted to remind myself of the privilege of living inside these magnificent strongholds and amongst such legends after the small disagreement I had with the Mountain King. That's all! If you think daddy is going to punish me about such a puny youthful adventure, especially when mom is also going to hear my account, then you are mistaken."

"You need a solemn beating to straighten your head. I don't know who is going to deliver that to you, but the way you are acting, it will inevitably happen soon." Dain said hatefully.

Karunn chuckled. "Beat a dwarrowdam? What's wrong with your head I wonder uncle...that will never happen!"

Dain shook his head. "It's not about gender, you audacious creature. It's about honour, which you lack off. As for dwarrowdams...you think you are one?"

Karunn paled.

Dain raised his brow. "No honourable iron maiden, no dwarrowdam of the Ironhills would have undertaken such a perilous journey onto such corrupted places unescorted. You lost your right to be called one in my books."

Karunn's lips curled up in hatred.

"Now on to your horse and back to your parents. They created this nightmare in you, let them deal with it. You tire me and I have a lot in my mind with the current chaos of the six family Lords." Dain dismissed her.

"Since the King cannot force his will on you and he's let everything unchained one cannot expect anything less than chaos indeed. I suppose Thorin Oakenshield is a lesser ruler than the legends paint him out to be..." Karunn spat.

Valdis inhaled sharply in shock.

Dain's hand lifted with such force to strike her down that Karunn raised her palms to protect her face. His hand lingered above her like a solid mason block. His face was contorted in wrath and his eyes were spitting the very fires of hell. "Take care how you talk about this man! You are not worthy to even spell out his name, never mind speak with such degrading words. Begone from my eyes and feel blessed I am giving you this escort for you don't deserve it!" he said and after a few terrifying moments were his wide palm lingered above a trembling Karunn he turned around with a groan of fury and entered the gates.

Karunn straightened, but still her heart was palpitating at this sudden loss of control from her uncle. Everything was telling her that she needed to return to the Ironhills as soon as possible. The balances were very thin in Erebor and she had nothing more to gain from remaining a moment longer. She turned at her sister who was crying rivers. "What are you crying for?!" she spat.

Valdis moaned and covered her mouth as she run after her uncle. Karunn grabbed the bridles of her pony and smoothed her palm over her elaborate braids. "Run you little brat..." she whispered and she was about to climb on her horse when she heard the solemn command that came from the gates behind her and caused her blood to freeze over.

"Attention for the King!" the guards presented arms.

Karunn's hand tightened on the bridles painfully and suddenly a cold hand wrapped around her stomach. She felt her knees unlocking and a cold wave of terror rushing through her body. She turned around to see the gates been thrown open as the King's black horse stormed out like a new tempest, raising along with it snow and dirt. She turned around trying to protect her face from the debris it's fierce galloping had caused and then looked up from her saddle to see the outline of horse along with dark rider getting lost into the heavy snowfall.

Gritting her teeth anew and reckoning that this close call with the King was a warning from the heavens, she climbed onto her pony and led it down the same road wanting to reach the safety of her home, as soon as possible.

* * *

It took Thorin several tries to sleep at his grandfather's library that night. He found it impossible even though he hadn't properly slept since he found out the excruciating truth about Eilin. He remained at the library with his door locked as long as he could, not answering the calls of a seriously concerned Balin, nor the threats of Dwalin that he would bring the aforementioned doors down. In the end nothing happened. They left him alone. He felt his eyes closing on their own volition as he was sitting at the desk looking at the fire with a void stare. Still Eilin's bead was trapped between his fingers. In the end he managed to fall asleep on the desk. He didn't know how long he remained under the spell of that nightmarish rest, but he woke up with a sharp inhalation and confused dreams he just couldn't remember.

It was close to the break of dawn when he finally decided to forget about sleep and make it down to the stables. There he brushed the coat of his horse for a rather considerable amount of time. His eyes once more were dry, looking somewhere between the horse's underbelly and the hay under its hooves. He cleaned it absently without understanding how quickly time was passing. When he saddled the horse and climbed on it he had no particular route in his mind.

They galloped quickly up to the entrance and the guards opened the gates instantly without him uttering a word. He went out into the cold wearing only his leather vest. Had someone asked him where he was leading his black steed, he would have looked at them partially lost, not having an answer, but the horse found it's way down to the Long Lake after a long fierce sprint. He stopped at the edge of a plateau overlooking the ruins of Esgaroth. His eyes mused at the singed towers and roofs of the town that Smaug had burned after Thorin woke up it's wrath. As the land was waking up with the light of a new day he was able to discern several details of the destruction under the paleness of the clouds. The sun had risen well to show that this day was going to be as cloudy and dark as all the previous ones, and only then did Thorin decide to turn his horse around. He faintly believed that he was going to return back to Erebor, but instead his horse's fast canter led him up to the northern passages of Ravenhill.

The roads there were as frozen as they had always been during the rough winters of the north. He should have led his horse slowly through their dangerous twists and turns but instead he pushed it harder. Slowly waking up from his stupor with each ferocious gallop the horse took. As the horse thundered through the snow that had began falling heavy once more, Thorin's blunt countenance began melting into an excruciating mask of anguish. His hands awoke from their numbness and tightened angrily around the reins and his thighs gripped firmly the flanks of his horse as he came closer and closer to the bend of death. His eyes blazed and his mouth opened up in a desperate need to draw in more air...soon he was heaving along with his overexerted beast. When he saw the curve of the road in front of him he kicked the animal's flanks pushing it harder, as if he wished for it to lose it's balance and throw both him and itself off the side.

It didn't.

It's hooves held strong as they passed the turn safely and Thorin pulled on the reins violently feeling his frustration spilling out from his veins. The poor horse neighed in disagreement and tried to release its mouth that was frothing from the King's tight grip. Thorin dismounted with a jump and walked back to the bend forgetting all about his horse that galloped away from him in order to save itself from the King's wrath. He stopped in front of the corner that Siv's carriage flew off and looked at the trees. He tried to find a sign of the accident that happened a hundred and fifty years ago. He paced in front of the sharp cliff looking up at the trees and cursing under his breath. Wanting to find something...anything that could remind him of that abominable day. It took him several moments to be able to locate the deep scar tissue Siv's fateful carriage had carved on one of the trees but it was very high up. Thorin paused and felt his lungs emptying. His fists tightened and he swallowed through a constricted throat. He turned his head up and looked at the scratches trying to understand how much these trees have grown since then.

How relieved he was that another carriage was not overturned into this corner of doom and how frustrated he felt at failing to overthrow his horse off the edge of the cliff.

He bit his lower lip and felt his eyes unable to unglue themselves from that destroyed tree bark. He had given strict orders to Bilbo not to take the northern passages, but just standing there and seeing valid proof that they hadn't come through this place was enough to unclasp the iron grip that he had placed over his emotions ever since his last talk with Eilin. The day where she bid him farewell.

When the caw of a crow echoed in the sky above him, his back shuddered hard. He had been waiting for news about Bilbo's carriage since yesterday. He didn't dare open his eyes hoping that this was one of his crows looking for him. When Thorin heard the caw closer he counted inwards until he felt the sharp claws of one of Roac's comrades landing on his shoulder and his heart come to a wretched stop. When the black majestic bird spoke the few words that would have ever mattered to Thorin he felt sobs digging their nails at the inside of his neck and knew it was too late to be able to hold anything back anymore. After informing him of the safe passage of Bilbo's carriage through Mirkwood the crow flew off. Thorin raised his face up to the sky and felt the coldness of the snow cooling down his burning brow.

Just knowing that she wasn't down there laying under a tree bark with her neck broken and her green eyes glassy and vacant was enough to lift up the levee that was holding back every single emotions he had kept hidden during all these hellish days. The burning tears began trickling out of the corners of his eyes. Ploughing a merciless trail down his cheeks and towards his beard. Getting trapped there until they turned into streams that run down his neck and stained his open tunic. He wanted to curse the great Mahal for bringing him back from the dead. He remembered Eilin's words that his resurrection had been fate, but had it truly been? How much easier would it have been for all of them if he had died up in Ravenhill? Then he would have spared this pain from Eilin and he would have entered the world of the dead. Maybe then he could have screamed the question that tormented him to Siv's face and he would have found an answer to it. Something that now he could only whisper to the carved tree bark and to no one else.

"Did you lie to me Siv?"

No answer came from the ravine, nor the sky, nor the ground under his feet.

"Did you lie to me all along?" he questioned the nothingness again, but there was only silence.

The frustration that he felt inside manifested in a pained groan that surfaced under the strong flow of his tears and turned without him even realising into a savage cry of agony that resounded through the ravines violently waking up a flock of birds that flew above him in panic. He kneeled heavily into the frozen road as the scar of his brow wound turned purple. He slowly began freezing under the immense onslaught of his feelings. As if, they alone had sucked all the energy out of him and now he was left defenceless against the cold weather. As if the resilience of the dwarven race against the elements of nature had just run out of his blood along with that fierce cry of pain. His mind unravelled down a winding road of memories, leaving his chest tight and he prayed to Vala Aule to keep Eilin safe and to allow him to believe her. To allow her to forgive his inability to keep her close to him. He prayed that he could forgive Siv, if indeed she had lied to him. He prayed that his forefathers had forgiven his inability to rule in their stead as they would have wanted.

With each new protest of suffering he prayed that his people would forgive his errors and that Durin's folk would sustain through his impotence to be the ruler they needed. He prayed hard that his sister would forgive him for failing to protect Kili and that Fili would be spared when it came to matters of the heart and for him to pursue his happiness no matter the weight that Thorin would place onto his shoulders eventually. He prayed for his brother Frerin to fulfil his promise to be there when it was time for Thorin to lay to rest. He prayed for all the souls that had been lost in this war and for all those that would be lost in future battles.

Lastly as his thighs gave up under the pressure and he sat on his knees, he prayed for the child in Eilin's womp. Still unable to know if it was his or not, he wanted to feel there was hope in the unborn. One child was lost already, so he prayed for this child to be spared, for without innocence, hope was only an illusion. He opened up his eyes and saw his tears staining his leather gloves as he prayed one last time. For the real Thorin that was now trailing behind Bilbo's carriage, after her.

He prayed for his true self to rest in peace.

He remained there freezing under the cold. Not even understanding that his lips were blue and his skin was pale and very cold. He didn't feel anything else, but the deep torment of his past trauma and his recent heartache. He sat there looking like a body that was a step from death not knowing his agonising scream that echoed through the forest hadn't woken up only the flocks of scared birds, but also someone else. Someone that had no way of hearing his woeful call, but only inside her very soul.

* * *

Eilin opened her eyes feeling as if a frozen knife was cutting through the centre of her heart. She inhaled sharply and sat up letting the heavy blanket fall off her body. Her fingers clasped Thorin's coat tightly around her as her body was shaking with cold waves of fear. She looked around at the darkness and felt confused. She reached out to grab the darkness and felt heavy wool under her fingers. Then a cold hand enrapturing hers and she inhaled sharply and pulled away. "Ah!"

"My lady why did you wake up? Lay down, rest." It was Loa's comforting tone that made Eilin jerk towards her direction.

"Where am I? What is this?" she asked and pulled at the wool around them that was keeping most of the light of day out.

"Tis a tent my lady. One of the commodities the King gave to master Bilbo. We placed it onto the carriage as you fell asleep. I didn't want you to freeze to death. The fur blankets are good, but having the snow falling on your head can undo even the best quilt."

Eilin closed her eyes and laid back down, even though she was barely relieved. Those feelings of despair were overflowing her mind.

"Do you feel any pain?" Loa caressed her hair.

Eilin shook her head and reached up to dry a few tears away from her cheeks.

"Do you want something to eat?" Loa smiled down at her.

Eilin denied.

"To drink?"

Another denial.

"Are you cold?"

Another shake of the head and she buried her face into the lapels of his coat inhaling his lingering scent deeply. She didn't want anyone else around her but him, so she reached for the closest thing to him apart from this coat. She lifted up the heavy layers of her clothes trying to feel the small bump in her lower stomach. Almost panicking in her dreamlike confusion that it was not there anymore.

Yet, it was.

She sighed deeply and closed her eyes. She caressed her belly. "I am sure daddy is alright my love...it was just a dream, right? Just a dream..." she cooed her stomach. She didn't want Loa to overhear her. What was this dream she saw? She couldn't remember very well. Only the image of a horse's fiery nostrils and black hooves digging into a frozen road. The call of a crow and an agonising cry of pain. Nothing else. She closed her eyes and buried her nose into the fur of his coat as her hand drew soft circles around her stomach.

"Can you slow down?" Loa opened up the tent and spoke to Bilbo. "Mistress is not well. She just woke up from a nightmare!"

"How much do you want me to slow down? Want us to come into a halt? These horses are barely able to walk as it is! As for her nightmares, it's the magic of Mirkwood. The Elven King's spells are causing her all this agony. The quicker we exit the forest the better she is going to feel" -Bilbo hesitated and scratched his head- "even though for some reason this time it doesn't feel as heavy as the last time I entered it."

Loa frowned, "heavy? It's not heavy at all. What are you talking about master Bilbo?"

He pursed his lips, "come to think of it you are right. It didn't feel heavy at all did it? It is as if Thranduil's spells only kept the majority of the snow away from the forest, but didn't affect us. Something that is going to change soon though, look!" he pointed ahead.

At the opening of the road through the forest they could see a curtain of snow falling ahead. Loa scrounged her nose, "we should brace ourselves. You need more warm clothes master? We are protected under this heavy tent, but you are suffering out there."

Bilbo rubbed his shoulders, "I am really fine!"

Loa cringed. "You think we can find some cavern to stay for the night after we exit Mirkwood? It would be nice for me to prepare you and miss Eilin some tea and some porridge. It will warm up our aching bones."

Bilbo's eyes brightened up. "I'll try to find some shelter my dear woman. Your idea about food was absolutely fantastic."

Loa smiled proudly.

Bilbo observed her for a few moments before sobering up, "how is the little lady doing now?"

"I think she's asleep again," Loa lied, knowing that Eilin was hiding under the blankets weeping her misery away.

Bilbo nodded, "good it will help her condition to be calm throughout this trek even though the carriage Thorin provided is very sturdy and the clothes and tent are very warm."

Loa rubbed her shoulders and buried her chin on her fur lapels. "Yes, bless his heart."

Eilin was unable to stop the groan of tears that escaped her and hid her face even deeper into his coat. Her fingers squeezed her stomach painfully.

That is when two horses along with their elegant riders emerged from the side of the road and stopped the carriage. Bilbo pulled the reins and gritted his teeth, "elves...should have expected that" -he muttered, but when he recognised who one of the riders was his heart did a somersault and he smiled widely- "Tauriel?"

Loa peaked out of the tent curiously.

Tauriel smiled and tilted her head elegantly, "hello master Bilbo."

"What are you doing here?" Bilbo looked at her happily.

Tauriel didn't reply, but kept her kind smile on the small hobbit.

"Tell me your boss didn't send you to cause us trouble. I thought he was allowing us to leave this place rather easily. Did he have a trick up his sleeve saved for the last moment?" Bilbo's lips turned down.

"Not at all," Tauriel shook her head.

Bilbo sighed in relief, "thank Eru. You see I've got a very sick lady in the back of my carriage and we need to be out as soon as possible."

Tauriel nodded. "We are aware. The Elven King has send us as escorts to make sure your passage through Mirkwood was safe."

Bilbo pulled back surprised, "he did?"

Tauriel bowed again elegantly.

Bilbo looked behind the carriage, "have you been following us around since we entered the forest?"

Tauriel smiled widely, "most certainly."

Bilbo raised his finger. "I can understand your feet being soundless, but how in the name of Eru do you make your animals equally quiet?"

Tauriel smiled at her comrade who reciprocated. "I am here to help, not to reveal our secrets."

Bilbo humphed. "Very well, we are here. At the western exit of Mirkwood. Ready to say goodbye then."

Tauriel pursed her lips and looked at the black tent on the back of the carriage. "I am afraid there is small change of plans master Bilbo."

The hobbit frowned. "Don't turn us around please. It's out of the question."

Tauriel shook her head. "Don't worry master Baggins. Me and Nenion shall accompany you a while longer. We have located vagabond orcs at the outskirts of Mirkwood. You don't have any protection from such attacks as it seems."

Bilbo crossed his arms, "unfortunately some of us didn't want the assistance offered by Erebor."

Tauriel raised her brows knowingly and instantly Bilbo knew that all this had been arranged between the Elven and the Dwarven King. "How about elven assistance."

Bilbo flicked his shoulders, "I shall have to ask."

"Please do," Tauriel smiled.

Bilbo nodded at Loa who touched Eilin's shaking shoulder, "my lady there are elves outside asking..."

Eilin turned the other way and shook Loa's hand off. "I heard them. I heard Tauriel."

"Do you have a problem if they accompany us..." Loa began again.

"No...no...leave me alone please," she felt at the end of her teether. As if a word more would break her into a dozen pieces.

Loa nodded at Bilbo who turned at Tauriel, "we'd be honoured to have your escort to the next safe place."

Tauriel gave the signal to Nenion who took the lead and then aligned to Bilbo's carriage as they started their journey again. "Beorn's farm will be a good place to stay before venturing towards the Misty Mountains. We shall escort you all the way back to Rivendell. The weather is milder on this side of the forest, but it's still rather cold. Lord Elrond has already been informed and has an eye out for your carriage. We will deliver you to him safely."

Bilbo smiled sweetly at her, "thank you for everything."

Tauriel nodded at him, "my pleasure."

Inside the carriage Loa was caressing Eilin's hair, when the red headed maiden spoke with a broken voice. "This isn't their doing."

Loa frowned down at her, "what my lady?"

"All this...is not of elven doing," she whispered and felt her bottom lip trembling. Her fingers pulled in Thorin's coat until it covered her mouth.

"Whose is it my lady?" Loa cleaned some hair away from Eilin's sweaty brow.

"Thorin's..." Eilin voice spoke with certainty and then broke. The silent weeping of before, became strong sobs of anguish that she was unable to stop as their carriage abandoned the thick forest of Mirkwood and came out into the open with the escort of two of the best elven warriors that King Thranduil could have given them. Right then and there Eilin knew that all this had been arranged by Thorin and her heart shattered like glass. She had not the strength to push all his commodities away, neither the courage to say no to the safety he was offering.

Somewhere in the back of her mind there was a small voice that kept repeating to her that he was not in Erebor, but out there in the cold suffering as much as she was and she had no way of mending things either for him or for her...her hand began caressing her stomach again with the need to feel some form of hope inside this darkness. That was her only beam of light, but what about him?

Another hushed whisper came from her trembling lips. "I am taking you away from him. What am I doing?" Her fingers pressed her bump in anguish.

* * *

Valdis looked at Fili who was observing the amber liquid on his cup mystified. She found him this morning at the dining area, away from all his comrades at the royal guards. He was sitting at the corner of the room, clutching himself trying to keep the world out as it seemed. She approached and asked him before she took a seat. He didn't reply. She questioned him about his beverage, he didn't respond. This was the third time she was trying to open up a conversation with him.

"My lord, you worry me deeply."

His eyes left the cup and looked at her. They seemed haunted, "it's not me you should be worried about my lady."

She frowned and crossed her hands on the table, "whom should I be worried about?"

Fili removed his eyes from her and looked at the wall, but she had enough time to see the tears that had formed in them, "my lord?"

He shook his head, "don't tell me you are the only soul in this damned city that hasn't heard what happened."

Valdis inhaled deeply. "I've heard about the departure of Eilin and about the King's dire state, I won't lie, but I know little else. Like the rest of Erebor. How can I assume my Lord? That would be a folly."

Fili nodded and when he looked at her again his eyes were dry, "so do you think I would be alright after all this?"

She shook her head. "No and that is why I am worried about you."

Fili's gaze felt unbearably heavy on her for several moments. "Why would something like that happen to him?"

Valdis felt her lips turning down.

Fili closed his eyes. "Why to him my lady tell me?"

She lowered her eyes to the table and pressed her nails upon one of the scratches at its surface. What could she tell the prince that would alleviate his pain. She barely knew what had happened, how could she answer things she didn't know?

"You cannot answer can you?"

She felt deeply discouraged, but gazed at him steadily. "I cannot."

He bit his upper lip and looked at her hands. "He's done everything he could for his people since he was a dwarfling. He's sacrificed his whole life for Durin's folk. He did everything he could to protect us not only here in Erebor, but to assist and support our people in exile. To find them a new home and to make them flourish. He did everything he could to reclaim our lost homeland and the biggest treasure of Middle Earth out of the hands of darkness. He died for for us! He came back to life for us! Everything he did was for his kin and family. Why would Mahal do this to him?!" With each sentence Fili's voice grew stronger. The last sentence was yelled in pain.

She reached out and grasped his hand. The air froze around them. "I am so sorry my lord."

He looked at their joined hands and shuddered. "He's my father Valdis..."

She felt her eyes burning.

"I don't want to see him wither", he muttered.

Her hand tightened around his.

"It's not easy to destroy the Mountain King, is it? Even the Necromancer failed to diminish him," Fili frowned.

"No my lord, not easy at all," Valdis rejoined.

"Breaking his heart was the only way to break the whole of him. Whoever did this, wanted to break the whole of him," Fili rubbed his eyes forcefully, wanting to pull out all those haunting thoughts.

"Did what?" Valdis leaned in.

He removed his hands. "You cannot understand, but I cannot speak more of this. I am sorry." He said regretfully.

"How can I help you if you don't share your woes with me my Lord?" she spoke softly.

"I cannot" -his voice broke and so did his gaze- "for you see it is the obligation of a ruler to bear the burden. The King taught me that. I must sustain through this. I must keep the secrets. His secrets."

Valdis bit both lips and felt her eyes tearing up.

"I don't want what he has," Fili whispered after several moments.

"What do you mean my lord?" Valdis rejoined.

"I don't want his burden Valdis. I don't want to make the sacrifices he made. I don't want to have to decide between my heart and my rule. However much I love him, I don't want to be in his shoes. I cannot understand how he kept on walking with all these chains wrapped around his shins for over a hundred and fifty years", Fili gazed at her heartbroken.

"I cannot even begin to fathom his affliction," she said quietly.

"I can..." -Fili's mouth twitched with a haunted smile- "he allowed me to take a brief peak into his hell and I want to give it back to him unused." His hand reached out and grasped Valdis'.

She gazed down at their hands mesmerised.

"I should have wanted to alleviate his hell...but I don't," he continued.

She held her breath.

"I don't want it," Fili repeated and Valdi's heart broke for the first time in years.

* * *

It took Thorin a long time to get himself out of that northern passage. It was his horse that animated him as he was unable to move from his kneeling position. It returned after it felt its master was calm enough and nudged him with its nose. Even mounting his horse was a struggle. He arrived at Erebor's gates long after the bell had given out it's third chime for the night. When inside he was unable to lead his horse down to the stables. Wordlessly with a skin that was still freezing and with lips that were blue and trembling he dismounted and abandoned his steed at the care of the confused guards. He led his steps slowly up to his room and met with no one along the way until he opened his door. That is when a shocked Dis grabbed his forearm and made him look back at her.

"Thorin? Where the hell have you been? We've been searching for you all day!" she felt her heart sinking when she saw his pale features.

He pursed his lips and pulled his arm back. Even disentangling himself from his sister's grip felt too difficult for him. He went in and tried to close the door behind, but her hands opened it up wide again and she followed him in.

"Why do you look like death for Mahal's sake?" she asked as he directed his steps to the armchair next to the fire.

He emptied himself in it and cradled his body trying to stop it from shaking so much. He didn't remember the last time he had felt this cold...or did he? Wasn't it when he was dying up in Ravenhill? Didn't he shudder then from the cold that had shrouded his body like a dark blanket? Did it feel any different to him now?

He closed his eyes.

Dis's fingers glided past his cold cheek and she pulled back with a hiss. "Wolf...you are freezing..." she whispered in disbelief.

A ghostly hairpin appeared on the side of his lips.

Her hands came immediately around his shoulders and she drew him into a warm embrace. "How is that even remotely possible? Our kin is resilient to extreme temperatures. Thorin are you sick?..." she pulled back to look at his face.

He swallowed heavily.

"We rarely get sick do we? Not at this age...Thorin what happened to you?" -she muttered with eyes that were full of apprehension and caressed his cold temple. Then her hands fell above his gloved ones- "Oh, my love you are trembling," she exclaimed and pulled off his wet gloves to find his skin equally blue and gold underneath.

"Leave me..." his voice was hoarse.

She shook her head and felt fear clenching her stomach hard. "No way. You are blue from the cold. This is unnatural for us Thorin. There is something seriously wrong with you, stand still. I need to take off your wet clothes." She pulled him and took off his vest.

He immediately rested back and crossed his arms around his shivering body, "get out Dis."

She frowned down at him. "Are you intoxicated?"

He shook his head. "No."

"How much did you drink today?" she insisted.

"Nothing."

"Last night?" she rejoined.

He shook his head. "I didn't drink at all Dis for two days, now let me rest. Get out..." He whispered with a voice that had no strength.

"I need to look after you wolf, this is dangerous. How in the name of Mahal did you manage to become so frozen? I've never felt you so cold in my life," she muttered as she took off his boots. Then she began replenishing the fire and tried to pull his armchair closer to it.

He had never felt himself so cold in his life either, but that thought was not enough to keep him awake. He began dozing off.

"Have you eaten anything?" she cupped his cheek to see if he was getting any warmer. Then her fingers brushed the scar above his brow that was still purple.

He didn't even hear her question.

"Thorin? can you hear me?" she asked and caressed his cheek.

No response.

Panic began overtaking her, especially with his cold skin that didn't seem to be warming up at all. "Thorin! Don't do this to me! Can you hear me?!" she slapped him hard across the face wanting in some manner to animate him.

He inhaled sharply and his eyes flew open. They were bloodshot, "get out Dis!" He grumbled.

"No...I need to help you..." she tried.

"I said get out!" he turned the other way.

"Thorin please you are not well..." she tried.

"Out!" His voice slashed the air like a whip. A shudder of fear run down her spine.

"Thorin..." she whispered.

His eyes fell on her cold and distant.

She moved towards the door. "I will call Oin. You need to be checked..."

"No one enters this room without serious consequences. Get out and stay out!" he commanded with a voice that didn't take no for an answer.

She walked back out of his door and leaned on it until it closed shut. Then she cupped her face and tried to stop her heart from thudding panicky. A soft voice made her look down.

"Is the King okay ma'am?" Lis was twisting her small fingers around each other.

"I don't think so" -Dis replied- "I need to go and find Oin. Can you please go to the kitchens and make him something warm?"

Lis nodded eagerly, "of course ma'm."

"He ordered no one to go in his room. Knock and leave the tray out. Tell him to come get it." Dis told her and left to find Oin.

Lis began nibbling her bottom lip. If the King was not well how could he get up to take his food? The princess must have been very confused to give such orders. Intending to do things her own way and feeling she already had a secret way of communicating with the King after her daring heist of that war carriage, she went down to the kitchens to prepare him something warm.

A little while later, it was her turn to knock on his door insistently. No answer came from within and Lis felt it was going to be useless to let the tray outside no matter the King's orders. She flicked her shoulders and entered the room. Thorin was not inside. Lis frowned and closed the door. She looked dejected down the corridor knowing that she had to search for him. She began roaming the upper levels of Erebor searching every single place the King usually could be found, but she didn't find him.

It was by shear luck that she was passing from the open door of the infirmary and she saw his wide shoulder blades draped by his long wavy hair. She smiled and entered. No one was inside apart from him. Not even the man that usually took care of the sick. She approached quietly and placed the tray onto the side table of the bed that the King was standing in front off like a statue.

Then she came up next to him and crossed her hands, mimicking his posture. "Hello Sir."

Thorin's heavy eyelids opened up slowly. His azure eyes looked at her lost.

"I brought you something warm to eat. The princess said that you were freezing." Lis pointed at the tray.

Thorin's lips twitched and his eyes returned thoughtfully at the occupant of the bed. He didn't speak.

"No need to thank me," Lis said cheekily.

Thorin raised both brows and humphed.

Lis counted inwards for him to give her a reply or some attention. When he didn't and she felt her skin crawling by the silence she decided to break it once more. The curiosity was eating her up. "Is this a relative of yours?" she pointed at the bed.

Thorin shook his head, "no."

Lis nodded and twisted her waist around feeling more bored by the minute. How could the King stand still for so long? She was unable to do so. Another thing that bothered her mother to no end. "Uhm, so why did you come to see him? A friend of yours?"

Thorin's brow darkened. "No," his voice became deeper.

Lis scrounged her lips. "Then what is he to you?"

"My worst enemy," Thorin's voice sounded oppressed, something that Lis missed.

She cringed confused. "Why did you come to visit your enemy?"

Thorin inhaled deeply. "I was debating about him."

"What's a debate?" Lis twisted head with interest.

Thorin looked at her briefly. "I was arguing with myself about him."

Lis snorted and cupped her mouth. "You argue with yourself?"

Thorin raised his brow, "you don't?"

Lis scowled. "Sometimes I do, but mom doesn't like it when I speak to myself. She says it's unnatural."

Thorin humphed. "Then we are both unnatural."

Lis crossed her arms happily. "Good."

Thorin glared at her.

"I am not the only weirdo in this place," Lis explained.

Thorin sighed, "you are most certainly not."

"Soooo..."

Thorin closed his eyes and a ghostly smile appeared on his lips.

"oooooo...what were you arguing with yourself about?"

"If I'd snap his neck on the spot or let him perish slowly. Sleeping eternally...hiding all his knowledge behind those damned closed eyes." Thorin's countenance became grim.

Lis flinched. "Ewww, that sounded nasty."

Thorin's face was frozen.

Lis placed a finger on her lips. "What did he do sir?...oh waaaaaaait..." she said in a sudden understanding.

Thorin looked at her with mild interest.

"Is he the one that spoke nastily about your friend? The one you told me about in Ered Mithrin?"

The King averted his eyes.

"Oh! Was your friend miss Eilin?" Lis grabbed his arm in another late realisation.

Thorin pressed his lips. He didn't reply.

"Only miss Eilin is not your friend, but your fiancee...you will get married soon and you will have kids and I will be here to help with them. Come to think of it I can be their nanny can't I? No, not a nanny, I will be their bodyguard, like mister Dwalin is for you!" She sounded so eager and happy that he didn't want to stop her, but he had to. Each word of hers was a dagger send directly to his heart.

"Enough child."

"Sorry sir," she looked at her shoes regretfully.

He reached out and placed his wide palm on the top of her golden hair. He gave her a couple of gentle pats.

"That's why you want to kill him, hey? He lied about miss Eilin?" she looked up at him with wide eyes.

"I want to kill him because he rattled my world... because he exists." Thorin said with a hoarse voice.

"I think you should spare him..." she said decisively and crossed her palms in front of her apron.

"You do?" he gave her a quizzical side look.

"The great Mahal knows best. Let him decide this man's fate!"

Thorin sighed and looked down at Nythrasir's calm features. The man that destroyed Thorin's life, looked as if he was sleeping so peacefully. The rage that was shimmering behind Thorin's cold exterior rippled for a few tense moments. Then he thought of this man's wife that lost her child. So many people got destroyed by Nythrasir's secret in such a short period of time. He felt his throat drying out and his eyes burning. He rubbed his palms together thoughtfully, noticing indifferently that his skin had warmed up significantly after Dis left him. "Maybe us mortals should take over our destiny for once and not fear the Gods or wait for their fair judgment. The Gods have made a lot of mistakes child, I think now it is our turn to try."

Lis looked at her hands thoughtfully. "That's a lot of work isn't it?"

Thorin raised his brow.

"Doing the work of a God..." she clarified.

A smile toyed on his mouth. "I suppose it is."

"You are the King! You have a lot of work already."

"I do." He gave her a lopsided smile.

"Then why do you want more work? Share it with the maker. He might be able to help you," Lis said seriously.

He pressed his lips. "I am not sure the maker is as wise are we are making him out be, but for now I shall take your advice."

"You will?!" her mouth dropped open.

He looked down at her and nodded.

She grinned pleased and rubbed her hands together, "good!"

He returned his eyes to the sleeping man, feeling his rage and pain backing up a few steps under Lis's happy disposition. She remained silent next to him, but she never stopped moving. Swinging her bottom, twisting her waist, clapping her hands, popping her cheeks, clicking her tongue. She was forcing herself not to speak.

"Out with it," he said after what he felt was the last thread of his patience with her inability to stay immobile.

"Do you miss Miss Eilin?" she tittered.

He felt as if a hand emerged from the stone floor and ripped his heart off. His mouth opened up and a soft exhalation escaped, "I do."

Lis nodded.

Thorin felt his eyes burning. "Do you miss your mother?"

"Not really."

Thorin looked at her surprised, for a moment forgetting the agony the little girl's words awoke.

Lis hurried to explain. "She's only been gone since yesterday and when she's here she's always on my case."

Thorin raised his chin up in slow understanding.

"But I do miss my dad...before coming back to Erebor, Princess Dis took me to visit his grave in the burial grounds." Lis's voice fell.

His hand came out again and this time landed on her shoulder. He didn't have to draw her in, she came over and wrapped her small arms around his waist, barely managing a good job with it.

"Do you visit your dad's grave?" Lis said and rubbed her cheek at his side.

Thorin's eyes burned anew. "He doesn't have a grave. I never recovered his body to bring it to burial."

Lis tightened her arms around him. "I forgot! I am am sorry mister King."

He smiled. "How about calling me Sir?"

She looked up. "The mister King bothers you?"

"Immensely," he said with a lopsided smile.

She cringed. "Sir, isn't it sad that you don't have a grave to visit your daddy?"

"It is, but I will soon mend that." His brows came together and dark clouds gathered over them.

Lis flicked her shoulders, unable to grasp either Thorin's words or the depth that she had taken the conversation with him.

"What do you think our fathers see from up there?" she pointed at the sky.

He shuddered. "A world coming to ruins, us other times failing..." -he looked down at her head- "other times winning. Maybe some are proud of what they see, and some are ashamed" -his face fell- "maybe they feel regret for not using all their chances before they died. I cannot know child...not yet, and when I find out I won't be able to come back to tell you. That's the circle of life."

She scrounged her lips and tightened her arms around his waist, pushing her forefingers under his heavy belt just to be on the safe side that he wouldn't pull away. "I will use all my chances Sir, before I die! I promise!"

He smiled sweetly. "Do that child, because when the time comes to say a prayer on the book of the dead, you might find yourself barren of words, like I am."

"I didn't understand a single thing you said Sir," she said quietly.

His lips turned down. "Better that you didn't." He caressed her hair gently.

After a few quiet moments she pulled back and showed him the table. "I brought you up some warm milk and some cram. It softens with the milk and becomes chewy and tasty if you add some honey. I brought it to warm you up, but now it's cold...and you are warm." Lis said.

"It's okay, I am not hungry," Thorin told her.

"Yet you must eat something because your sister is deeply worried for you," the solemn voice of Oin made both Thorin and Lis look back.

Lis grinned at him and pulled back. "Hello mister!"

Oin approached and stood in front of Thorin. He looked down at the pretty little dwarfling. "Hi, darling." Then he turned his serious gaze onto Thorin again. "Dis went to look for you in the top rampart. She's gone crazy with worry. She said you were frozen."

"I am not anymore," Thorin said dismissively.

"Dwarves never freeze my King," Oin's voice became heavier.

Thorin looked at him coldly.

"It's not in our blood to suffer the elements of nature. The fact that especially someone as strong as you failed to hold onto his body heat, shows you are not well. Mentally, physically or both. " Oin crossed his arms on his chest.

Thorin sighed deeply and walked away from both Lis and Oin. "Leave your solicitude for another day cousin."

Oin thundered behind him. "What is happening my King? The world is falling apart and you are pulling further away from us every single day."

The King hesitated for a few moments. His hands became tight fists when he spoke the next words. "The world is ruled by fear. Fear of others. The world I rule is old and it might be time for it to fall apart and end."

"Fear draws us into darkness. When the world falls into darkness there are some men that can lead it back into the light. You are one of these men. Don't fall into the abyss. Don't let it consume you. Not only for us this time, not only for this kingdom, not only for your people, but also for yourself. Demup telek menu.**" Oin said gravely and bowed his head in respect.

Thorin's eyes seared through Oin's with a tension that was palpable. Then he turned around and left the infirmary. Without saying goodbye to Lis who understood there was something very wrong with the King.

He walked up to Thror's study and locked himself in it. He remained under locks for twenty three days and it was at the dawning of the twenty fourth that he decided to finally break his isolation.

* * *

* * *

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** honour acts through you.


	48. This one is for you...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank StephCalvino, a good friend whose conversations have been helping me form out this story. Lis was born out of them, since I never had the intention of making her such a major player in this story and as she's such a beloved character everyone needs to thank StephCalvino for her. It was her that gave birth to Lis's audacious personality and it was this personality that brought her close to Thorin and made her such a major player in this story... xoxoxo

Almost a month after departing from Erebor and Eilin still had trouble getting out of bed and moving around mister Bilbo's house. Not only she was an almost useless maiden, but she had also become a burden. If it hadn't been for Loa, both her and mister Bilbo would have been in serious trouble. Eilin because of her inability to help herself and mister Bilbo because he would have taken all her care on his shoulders. That had not been part of their original agreement. He hired a maiden. He didn't adopt a pregnant woman who couldn't get out of bed more than twice a day.

She remained most of her days laying on the bed Bilbo had offered her at the eastern end of his home and she was enjoying thoroughly every single sun rise that broke through her small circular window, nevertheless she couldn't find it in her heart to get up and open that window in order to enjoy the fresh air. She did everything from the luxury of her large cozy bed, inside a beautifully arranged bedroom of earthy colours, tucked under the plush quilts.

She felt so weak that it was a struggle to eat or drink and sometimes even to go to the bathroom to take care of her needs. The bathroom especially she avoided like a nightmare, because she feared that each time peed, the baby would fall out of her and die. She had convinced herself so much of her unworthiness to carry the Mountain King's child, especially after their agonising breakup, that she felt sure one of these days the baby would end up out of her body, a blob of bloody material and death. Loa's reassurances that her pregnancy seemed to be progressing fine meant nothing to Eilin. The fact that her belly was now starting to become visible didn't matter. Something was eating her up inside. Maybe it was the weakness she felt on her body that alerted her that something was not quite so right, or maybe it was simply her need to see Thorin one more time.

She shuddered at the thought and reached out to take one of the napkins that Loa had brought up with her untouched breakfast. She wiped her nose and cleaned her cheeks. Her inability to eat properly combined with her constant nausea, had caused her a major weight loss, which was something she couldn't afford, as she was already thin to begin with. Loa pointed out that her cheekbones were a bit too sharp now under her sad eyes. Most of the days she didn't want to bathe either, so her very long hair had become a tangled mess around her painfully skinny body. Loa found it difficult to untangle them as the process pained Eilin too much, so after a point she stopped trying and concentrated only with feeding the malnourished pregnant girl whose body needed food in order to nourish the child in her.

Mister Bilbo was passing his days writing a new book and trying to get Eilin away from her bed. He offered to take her on several strolls around the Shire or meet her with their neighbours the Gamgees. Bell Goodchild was an expert in gardening. Bilbo thought that maybe Eilin could find an outlet by working on his garden alongside Bell, since she had experience with working on the land.

Eilin denied and each time her denial was followed by a bellowing apology for being unable to offer mister Bilbo the maiden he deserved. He patiently caressed her shoulder and told her that he didn't mind the new arrangement and that he was going to continue offering her a home for as long as she wanted. The relief from these words was always a cause for another meltdown. So she counted the moments as they turned to days and them as they became weeks and her mind was always over-flooded by her memories of Thorin...and each memory rendered her more weak.

She knew that hadn't it been for this child in her loins she would have already taken her own life. She had nothing to look forward to anymore. The love of her life was gone and she hated her past. The only thing that gave her an obscure hope for the future was their child. It was now her call in life to raise a child that Mahal himself had blessed. A true heir of Durin's folk. A child of royal blood even if their father would never accept them as his.

The despair in her heart awoke once more and she hid her head under the quilt trying to overlook the insistent banging on mister Bilbo's entrance. There was no one in the house to open up. Loa had gone to fetch some water and mister Bilbo was visiting some relatives at the other side of the Shire since yesterday. Eilin hid herself, hoping that the people at the other side would soon realise that no one was inside and leave. She began caressing her small bump and her lips opened up to offer her baby a soothing lullaby.

_Come home, come home, ye merry folk!_

_The sun is sinking, and the oak_

_In gloom has wrapped its feet,_

_Come home! The shades of evening loom_

_Beneath the hills, and palely bloom_

_Night-flowers white and sweet. *_

She felt her back shuddering, wanting to hear only her voice, but the noise on the door just wouldn't stop. So finally gave up and threw the covers away from her body. She landed barefoot on the wooden floor and tried to straighten her tunic that was way too wrinkled and her trousers that were way too used. As she walked with annoyed decisiveness towards the circular door she found her hand gently touching her hair and shuddering at their dry texture. Suddenly she stopped right before putting her hand on the handle and looked herself at a mirror that was on the wall.

Her stomach dropped.

A fresh series of knocks tore her eyes away from the skeletal ghost with the empty stare and the pale lips at the mirror. She opened it to see a small woman with chestnut curly hair low below her shoulder blades and brown eyes smiling widely. She was wearing a cute rose coloured dress and was holding a big plate. When she saw Eilin she beamed up to her, "Hi!"

"Uhm, hi." Eilin didn't know what to say. They hadn't seen anyone during stormy night they arrived and Eilin had never been out of Bilbo's home. That was her first contact with the inhabitants of this village.

"Can I come in?" the woman said spiffily.

"Uhm, mister Bilbo is not here..."

The woman talked over her. "Pfff, I know. He's at the other side of town. I came for you!"

"Me?" Eilin pulled back to allow the energetic hobbit to pass.

"Yes" -the woman said and went straight to the kitchen to put down her huge plate- "I am Bell Goodchild!" she offered Eilin her hand.

Eilin timidly shook it. "Eilin."

"I am Hamfast's wife," Bell explained.

Eilin shook her head feeling lost.

"We are the Gamgees. We leave a couple of house down Bagshot Row! We are your neighbours," Bell explained with a bright smile.

"Oh...yes, mister Bilbo spoke several times about you," Eilin followed her in the kitchen, but found herself unable to act like a proper maiden or host to this woman. She didn't know were anything was in Bilbo's house and she felt deeply embarrassed.

Bell looked at Eilin and presented her gift with pride. "Pork-pie. The best in all the Shire and don't let anyone tell you differently!"

Eilin felt her lip upturning slightly. "You shouldn't have Miss."

"Call me Bell. Won't you try a piece? You look in desperate need for food...and a bath," Bell raised her brow.

Eilin felt very self conscious then. She tried to tunnel her fingers through her wild hair, but failed and her cheeks became crimson red. "I am sorry. I know I look awful. I have been feeling under the weather the last few days."

Bell didn't even give her any notice. She served Eilin a big piece of the pork pie and led her to sit down even though Eilin resisted mildly. "Sit down, pick up the fork and try a small bite. I won't get offended if you hate it."

The woman was kind and her countenance so sweet that Eilin obeyed without a second thought. She picked up the fork, dug into the pie and took a bite half expecting her pregnant body to throw it up again as it had been doing every morning for almost a month now.

It didn't.

Actually an explosion of magnificent textures and tastes took place in her mouth, making her moan out loud and shut her eyes tight. In better days were her life was still in heaven under Thorin's embrace she would have easily compared this food to sex, just to tease him. She swallowed almost greedily and when she opened her eyes, Bell was watching her carefully.

"Did you like it?" she beamed.

Eilin nodded quickly and made to take another bite, but at the last moment hesitated feeling embarrassed.

"Oh for Eru's sake, eat as much as you want girly! I made this for you!" Bell said and went to make her a cup of tea.

Eilin found the opportunity as the woman was not watching to devour her food and debated on getting some more. When Bell returned with her tea she looked proudly at Eilin's empty plate. "Told you I make the best pork pie in all the Shire!"

Eilin smiled timidly. "You do! It was amazing."

Bell scrounged her lips. "You look so malnourished. I think I will bring you food more often. Isn't Bilbo cooking well enough?"

Eilin took a sip from her tea and had to refrain from gulping it all down. This woman's pie had awoken her dead appetite. "He's a very good cook. I was just...sick."

Bell scrounged her lips. "You look it. How long has it been since you have taken a bath dear girl?"

"Ever since I left Erebor," she whispered and then blushed again at revealing her place of origin.

Bell tilted her head. "I knew it! Your clothes betray a dwarrowdam a mile away, yet you don't look like one. Except the size."

Eilin looked away shyly. "I am interracial."

Bell's mouth opened up. "Oh, I see."

Eilin began playing with the dirty edge of her tunic, not knowing what to add to that shameful moment. She remembered how easily Thorin had drawn her into his kin and how eagerly she had accepted that part of her blood. She was carrying that part of him and her inside her now. Suddenly she raised her eyes to Bell and said. "That was wrong. I am not interracial. I am a proud dwarrowdam!" she said decisively.

Bell grinned at her. "Indeed. An exceptional dame of the dwarven cities that desperately needs a bath."

Eilin looked away shamefaced. "I know."

Bell grasped her forearm. "Are you going to eat more?"

Eilin looked at the pork pie and shook her head regretfully. "No, thank you."

"Then follow me", Bell dragged her up and led her to Bilbo's big bathroom.

"What are we doing?"

"Take your clothes off and I will warm some water for you. Then throw them outside the door so I can burn them up," Bell pinched her nose, "they smell."

Eilin bit her lower lip. "I don't have any other clothes." She remembered how she declined every offer for clothing apart from Thorin's coat that was under her covers safely tucked as she denied to sleep unless she was nestling in it.

"I'll bring you some. Wait here!" Bell said and run off.

Eilin remained patiently at the bathroom until Bell returned with a beautiful purple dress with a big bow at the back and a white tunic with puffed up sleeves. She had no shoes with her and she noticed Eilin's look of despair. "We don't use shoes in Hobbiton. You'll get used to it. Now strip and I will bring you the warm water!"

Eilin followed this woman's instructions and ended up taking a rather relaxing bath that loosened up all her stiff muscles. Bell helped her wash away the dirt of many days and clean her hair thoroughly. When she finished, she changed into the small dress that fit her a little loosely around the waist and Bell tightened the bow behind her back. Then she dried up Eilin's hair and began untangling them. It took them close to midday to managed to make her hair smooth and shiny and in the meantime Loa came and admired the result of Bell's intervention. When they were finished Bell didn't have to try hard to convince Eilin to take another piece of pork pie. She took three, praying her stomach wouldn't decide to empty them all in mister Bilbo's living room. Then Bell made a cup of tea for both of them and led Eilin out at Bilbo's bench. They sat and Bell brought between them a basket with some seeds.

"I added lavender to your tea. It will help you sleep," Bell said.

"I don't need anymore sleep. I've been sleeping for too long," Eilin whispered and turned her mug thoughtfully in her hands.

"You look so refreshed..." -Bell winked at her- "you are an astoundingly beautiful girl. I am sure several Hobbits I know well would have loved to woe you..."

Eilin felt her eyes stinging. "I'm...damaged goods."

Bell frowned deeply. "What are you saying darling girl?"

"I am pregnant," Eilin looked up and for the first time Bell saw the deep pain that was hiding behind this neglected exterior.

"And is that a reason to talk about yourself in this degrading manner?" -Bell clasped her knee and squeezed.

Eilin flicked her shoulder. "Isn't it?"

"Not! It's not! Never speak of yourself in this manner. Was this child the result of rape? Is this why you look so hurt?"

Eilin felt her heart falling into the deepest pits. "It was the result of love."

Bell frowned.

Eilin felt the need to explain if only partially. "The man I love thinks I betrayed him with another man."

Bell cringed. "Oh, that sounds painful."

Eilin nodded and wiped away some stray tears from her cheeks.

"So master Bilbo came to the rescue?" Bell smiled calmly.

Eilin nodded, "yes."

Bell sat back and relaxed. "Well life can get hard at times. We have to deal with it."

Eilin looked at her expecting more interrogation or even a wisp of judgment, which never came.

"So have you chosen a name for your baby yet?" Bell said nonchalantly.

Eilin's eyes teared up. "No..." she caressed her lower stomach tenderly.

Bella's eye caught that and she smiled sweetly. "You have to choose a name."

"I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl yet," Eilin looked up bewildered.

"Choose one of each..." Bella flicked her shoulders calmly.

Eilin began nibbling her lower lip. "But I don't know..."

Bella gazed at her with raised brows, waiting.

"I don't know if the baby will survive yet..." Eilin's voice was diminished.

Bella waved her off. "Of course they will survive. Now drink your tea and we will choose names together as you help me plant my seeds. What do you think of that idea?"

Eilin's lips broke with a timid smile. "I like it."

Bella stood up and took her basket at hand. "Come on then, it's not going to rain just yet. We have the time to do some gardening!"

Eilin looked up at the sky that had heavy grey clouds in it, but also large chunks of the bluest blue she had ever seen. She allowed this mild weather to soothe her soul, "what seeds are we planting?" she asked.

"Daffodils," Bell joined with a smile.

Eilin felt the previously warm sensation in her eyes that was always lingering suddenly burning hot and tears sprang out without her being able to stop them. "Isn't that the flower of uncertainty and unrequited love?" she whispered.

Bell frowned. "Yes it is. Are you alright?"

Eilin shook her head and run inside the house suddenly, forgetting all about choosing a baby name or helping Bella with the garden. Bella looked at the door of Bilbo crashing shut with a deep frown.

Neither noticed a black crow cawing as it flew away from a tree close to their bench.

* * *

Back in Erebor as similar image of desolation was taking place if not worse. Thorin threw the door of Thror's study open after almost a month of isolation. Balin was caught off guard as he was sleeping upright on a chair next to it. He slipped and fell on the floor. "Laddie?!" he tried to find his footing in order to stand up. He had decided to become a permanent sentinel outside of Thorin's doors, without anyone asking him to do it. Dwalin relieved Balin every couple of hours and slowly several of their remaining comrades joined in with Gloin, Dori and Bifur being the most active. Yet all their efforts to have someone always outside Thorin's door in case he needed help was completely useless. Most of the food trays went untouched and Thorin didn't ask for a single bottle of alcohol for the duration of his isolation. The King had only a single wish during that month. He asked for the best skin artist of Erebor. The artist was found and was pushed into Thror's study even though he was half scared out of his mind of meeting the legendary Oakenshield. He had never worked on the skin of a King before, nevertheless he undertook Thorin's request as bravely as he could.

After that complete silence fell over Thror's study once more. The King's condition brought back memories to all of them from the Blue Mountains when Thorin had locked himself in for eight days to mourn the loss of his father. Only this time it went on for much longer.

So when Thorin opened up the door so violently and dashed out at the corridor Balin felt his heart fluttering with hope that soon turned to fear when he followed his King at the throne room to see him looking at the Arkenstone with a void gaze. He approached slowly not wanting to scare Thorin away. "Laddie, are you alright?"

Thorin looked very rough. His beard was scruffy and his hair a thick mess around him, not to mention the desperate condition of his clothes that he hadn't changed during all these days. Balin didn't notice any true weight loss on him, but the King was a wall of muscle so it was difficult to see his loss of appetite yet onto his body. When the rough richness of the King's voice filled the huge cavern, Balin shuddered. He had missed Thorin's impressive voice so much.

"Did you deliver me the message from the delegations?"

Balin felt his heart failing at that. "Yes son, I did. You were sleeping close to the fire. I didn't want to arouse you."

"Did you read it first?" Thorin's firm stare hadn't lost any of it's potency it seemed during these days of loneliness.

Balin exhaled hard. "I did, but things have gone public Thorin. Even if I hadn't read it I would have already known what this was all about."

Thorin eyes became cruel.

"They are denying to unite under your rule, especially after what happened with your One. The rumours about Eilin are all over Erebor son and no one could do anything to stop them from spreading. She disappeared and you locked yourself up. People understand. You've been unable to rule the stronghold for almost a month now and people worry. They feel unsafe. Everything is slowly falling apart. The delegations have lost their trust in you and Servin is the one who is fuelling the fire. Nothing anyone of us could have done would have stopped this downward spiral you have taken Erebor in. It's only in your hands to stop it." Balin said with tears in his eyes.

Thorin raised his brow. "I know."

"The delegations and your people don't know what happened with Eilin..." Balin said looking totally broken.

Thorin's eyes thundered.

Balin closed his eyes and felt his hands trembling. "If you tell the delegations exactly what happened with Nyrthrasir and speak about Eilin's betrayal they will be able to forgive all this mess. They will understand that a woman's heart can be deceiving sometimes and that their King has been led into a trap. Their trust in you shall have a chance to be won over again."

Thorin's skin crawled, but he remained silent.

"If you don't address what happened with Eilin, they will depart. Already the Broadbeams are getting ready to leave. Thorin this is the last chance to unite the families before everything comes to ruins. Speak to them. Tell them what happened with Eilin. Explain how badly you were betrayed. Make them understand how Eilin's actions destroyed you and that is why you went missing from your obligations. Give them the opportunity to see the pain in your broken heart and then let us all begin to heal. Let us try to create this blessed unity..."

Thorin raised his hand at Balin and closed his eyes. "Enough...that's enough."

Balin was panting. He steepled his fingers nervously. "There is no other choice son, but to tell them exactly what happened and have their faith restored in you."

"You are asking me to disgrace Eilin?" Thorin whispered.

Balin shook his head. "You won't disgrace her. Nyrthrasir's words already have. All this didn't start from you, but from that man and possibly Eilin..."

"Silence!" Thorin grumbled angrily.

Balin froze and felt his hands shaking.

It took several nerve racking moments for Thorin to speak again. "At the desk of the study there is a single scroll with my sigil. Take it to the meeting room."

Balin swallowed in heavy apprehension. "Are you calling a meeting for them?"

Thorin kept his eyes quietly at the Arkenstone for so long that one would have believed him frozen. "Where is the Raven Crown?" he completely ignored Balin's concerned question.

Balin felt his lips curling up timidly. "At your office. Do you need it?"

Thorin nodded. "Take it to the meeting room also. Notify the Lords that I wish to talk to them."

Balin felt his stomach tightening nervously and looked at the deteriorating countenance of his friend. Things should be addressed as soon as possible, but could Thorin truly handle such a formidable task in this condition? "I know I said you had to address them, but maybe you should postpone it for tomorrow?" Balin tired.

The heaviness of Thorin's glare, almost burned Balin's skin off.

The advisor took a couple of hurried steps closer to him. "You haven't talked to anyone for almost a month, you haven't eaten and I don't know if you have slept at all. You look at the end of your teether or more like passed the point of no return."

Thorin remained impassive, but his eyes were penetrating.

"Are you sure you don't want to take a warm bath and change your clothes? Do you want me to bring you up something to eat? I am sure the women have made something good down at the kitchens, but if you don't want theirs I can ask Bombur to make you something. I know you like his food..."

Thorin spoke over him. "I will need Fili to attend the meeting. Notify the boy."

Balin inhaled deeply and stopped. "Laddie you don't look well enough to address the lords at this moment. Do it tomorrow or the day after. You need to rest."

"Get on with it..." Thorin said dismissively and left a very edgy Balin behind to muse over him.

When the King came to the entrance a lot of people froze in apprehension and he became the subject of a scrutiny that derived from Erebor's deep concern about their ruler. Seeing him out in public after so many days of isolation woke up a protective thread towards Thorin not only from his comrades that were camping outside his doors, but also from the common people that were exchanging words of concern as he walked past the heavy gates with strong decisive steps. No one dared approach him though to offer their solicitude. The darkness in his glare and the strictness of his countenance were enough to keep every worried citizen away.

The same fearful concern didn't keep his guards away from him though. Two approached the King before he had the chance to get lost into the dark corridors.

"Your Royal Highness, we have a problem."

Thorin stopped abruptly and tightened his fists. "What is it?" The last thing he wanted after so many days of silence was to be addressed by Erebor's guards.

"This dwarfling found a half dead woman at the edge of Mirkwood forest." The soldiers said.

Thorin turned around and lo and behold none other than Lis was standing there playing with the hem of her tunic. "Hi Sir!" she waved at him.

Thorin looked left and right to see if someone was pulling a trick on him. The faces of his guards were solemn and indeed there were two other guards behind carrying a stretcher with what looked like a bundle of dishevelled black clothes and bones on it. "Lis..."

"Hi!" she waved at him again, but felt uncertain when she saw his stern gaze.

"What in the name of Mahal's holy beard were you doing at Mirkwood?" Thorin's eyes thinned.

"I wanted to find clues..." Lis bit her lower lip.

Thorin frowned. "About what?"

"About what happened with miss Eilin. Princess Dis told me to search in and out of Erebor..." Lis began eagerly.

"Enough!" Thorin's voice thundered in the cavern and made the little girl jerk back nervously along with several bystanders.

"I didn't do well, right? I am so sorry Sir", her bottom lip pouted and began trembling. She was on the verge of tears.

"If you mother learns we weren't looking out for you she's going to unleash all hell on us and I wouldn't give her any fault. You are not supposed to leave the safe enclosure of these walls! Not unless my sister or me are with you," Thorin snapped forbiddinly.

"But you were locked up Sir!" Lis looked at him with wide honest eyes.

"What about Dis then?" he raised his brow.

Lis averted her eyes and began twisting the hem nervously around her fingers.

"You didn't ask her, did you?" he continued relentless.

Lis shook her head and wiped away a few stray tears. The guards looked at each other worried.

"Don't ever do that again, do you understand?" Thorin's nose flared.

"I am sorry Sir...I won't." Lis said and sobbed. This unexpected cold attack from the man that she was seeing as a father figure was hurting her deeply. She was not able to understand Thorin's heavy emotional distress.

Thorin pushed a guard out of the way and came next to the stretcher. "Who's she?"

The guards shook their heads. "Don't know your majesty. She's been out ever since we found her. Little one insists she was whispering your name."

Thorin turned to Lis who was sniffling. He approached and stood in front of her for several moments. Commanding her to look at him with his silence. When she did his eyes thinned on her, but his large palm cupped her cheek. "She used my name?"

Lis felt her tears drying immediately at this tender caress from the King. "Yes. She kept whispering Oakenshield."

"Anything else?" he frowned towards the stretcher.

"No Sir. Nothing." Lis shook her head.

He nodded and removed his hand. "Very well. Don't ever let me catch you outside the walls of Erebor without an official escort or there will be serious consequences!"

"Alright Sir. I am sorry I angered you." She sounded very remorseful.

Thorin pressed his lips. "You have a knack on scaring me, not angering me."

Lis looked up to him eagerly.

Thorin raised a critical brow at her.

"What are we to do with the woman your majesty?" a guard asked.

Thorin turned thoughtfully at the stretcher that was carrying Rhiannon. "Take her to the infirmary and tell Oin to look after her."

Another guard asked. "She used your name my Lord. Do you recognise her?"

Thorin's eyes passed from a bony face that looked way too old for the blackness of those hair. He shook his head indifferently. "No."

The guards led Rhiannon away and Thorin took the corridor down to the hot springs. Leaving a thoughtful Lis in the middle of the entrance. She debated whom to follow. Should she go after the man whom she had idolised and try to get onto his good side again? She loved it when he was treating with such care. Should she go back to mistress Dis and help her out, or should she follow the soldiers and go into the infirmary to see how the medical man was going to help out this woman? She placed her small finger on her lips and her eyes swirled around on all the possible directions. Rhiannon's stretcher in the end won and Lis followed the soldiers quickly down to the infirmary. Her curiosity about this sick woman got the best of her.

* * *

Close to noon found Thorin in his rooms after taking a rather lengthy trip through the hot springs. He chose an impressive deep crimson royal vest and trousers and his eyes examined himself with austerity. His hair was pulled to the back of his head with an expensive carved golden bead that bore the Longbeard sigil. His face was set and his eyes determined, yet there was an undertone of sadness still in them. At that moment looking back at him in the mirror was not Thorin Oakenshield, but the King Under the Mountain. The King of Durin's Folk. His eyes rolled down to the golden embroidery on the lapels of his velvet vest and he swallowed heavily. He raised his hand to his mouth and his palm opened up to reveal the dainty amulet that was buried in it. His lips touched it gently.

"This one is for you...", he whispered and closed his eyes.

Several moments later as he was entering the King's Hall, everyone opened up and kneeled down respectfully for him. In the morning Erebor has seen his isolated King coming out looking totally dishevelled and bearing a wave of dismissal towards everything around him. At noon they saw the majestic King of Erebor emerging haughtily from the Royal corridors and their gazes filled with awe and adoration. Still though no one approached him, or the two guards that were walking at his flanks. He passed the King's Halls not even feeling the air of reverence from his subjects. His mind was set at what was waiting for him at the meeting room.

When the doors opened up to welcome him inside the huge impressive carven all the lords stood up respectfully. He sat at the head of the table and everyone bowed to him in salutation.

"Please take a seat." He allowed and everyone did.

He crossed his hands and all of them subconsciously mimicked the obvious leader of the group. Thorin's eyes looked coldly at the middle of the desk, where his official scroll and the Raven Crown had been placed by Balin.

"Úri's Folk, Linnar's Folk, Sindri's Folk, Thulin's Folk, Var's Folk and Vigdís's Folk, thank you for accepting to attend this meeting on such short notice." Thorin's powerful voice resonated through everyone.

They looked at each other and smiled.

Bjarki was the one that spoke on behalf of all. "It is our honour to see you again my Lord."

Thorin inclined his head. "As much as it is a ruler's obligation to command, so it is his solemn duty to elucidate his actions, especially when they seem to create serious instability upon his rule. Something that cannot be denied anymore in Erebor."

Several worried looks were exchanged.

"My hope still is that you will all become permanent members of this city so I feel committed to address your concerns and I vow to unfold every single thread of truth to you. You and the people of Erebor deserve nothing less. Only after learning the truth will your decisions about this unity be truly unbiased."

A wave of grateful appreciation awoke from his words.

"May I be allowed to take you on a small journey to the past, before I attempt to explore the present?" he looked around.

"By all means!" Durar waved his hand elegantly and everyone agreed eagerly except from Servin who leaned back thoughtfully and Fili who was scrutinising his hands intently.

Thorin drew inwards slowly. The introspection that had been tormenting his mind during his isolation now needed to be communicated towards these men. This was possibly his most important speech in more than a century. A speech that could rally everyone to his cause or disperse them into the four wings. This was his final stand for his people but also for the woman who mattered most in his life. The ghosts of his forefathers gathered at his flanks, once more ready to judge his every word, but the more he drew in on himself and collected his thoughts the more Thrain and Thror pulled away into the faded lines of history and he didn't even notice.

"When I arrived into this forgotten land of our ancestors with my company it was not my intention to rage war, but war befell on us nonetheless. The darkness that rules in the east behind the Ash Mountains didn't want to allow our kin to reclaim the mountain and reinforce the allies of the North, nor did they want to lose the biggest treasury in all of Middle Earth. An error in my judgement it was to believe that I only had to face the Elves and the people of Esgaroth as enemies. I was mistaken. The forces that were marching against us were chillingly more dangerous and their numbers far less easily confronted. I, along with twelve brave comrades was unable to defend this stronghold and hadn't it been for Dain the second -also known as the courageous Ironfoot- this city would have been retaken by the forces of evil once more."

Dain gave him a quiet proud smile that said more than any words would have been able to express.

Thorin continued, pulling further down the winding staircase of his innermost thoughts. Almost feeling that he was alone in the cavern. "This darkness with a combination of heavily armoured war carriages and an overwhelming volume of violent hoards of trained orcs, tried to break through the dwarfish and elvish defences. They managed to penetrate deeply and spread alarm and confusion thus pushing the elven defences south towards Dale, leaving only Dain's army as the last line of protection before Erebor fell once more. Everyone fought courageously, my Lords. From the highest commander down to the last soldier the rallying that took place at the gates of Erebor was enough to push back the enemy lines until they were trapped between us and the elven army that hadn't retreated fully by then. Had we allowed ourselves to be intimidated by the presence of such heavily armoured war carriages coming down from our flanks we may have failed. If the elven division and Dain's army weren't so well handled by their commanders all would have been lost. The elves retained that genius for recovery and counter-attack for which they are so famous and our kin brought the enemy face to face with the endurance and enormous fighting power we are so well known for. The combination led to the reshaping of the battle's outcome onto our favour." -He stopped and his eyes passed calmly from everyone to make sure he had their attention before he continued- "We must now view with trust the stabilisation of the North by both the Elven and the Dwarven armies. Only in complete cooperation can we be able to outmatch the adversaries of darkness. I have unshaken confidence in the Elven army and their King, but our kin must quickly cast away the notion of resisting the darkness alone. We must become aware that security can only be regained by the formidable combination of an alliance. Not only between Dwarves and Elves, but also between ourselves. This spirit must inspire not only the high command, but every warrior in our barracks." Thorin's brows came together pensively.

"An alliance between us and the Elves is not something easily accomplished my King, even though your words are truly awe inspiring," the head of Uri's Folk spoke.

"The alliance has already been accomplished my lord. The moment the elven army defended our lines, they became our valued allies in this war and hopefully in all the remaining battles that will burn Middle Earth as the darkness arises in the east. We must expect that even though stability has reached our front today, the mass of that hideous structure of blind aggression which gashed our barracks into near ruin and slavery will be turned upon others. Maybe not tomorrow, or in a dozen years, but eventually it will. I am sure I speak for all when I say we must be ready to endure and retaliate against it will it ever dare to return back into our lands."

Several battle cries thundered into the cavern, but Dain's thunderous voice was strongest of them all.

Thorin raised his hand and everybody quickly settled down. "But shall we undertake all that alone, or as an alliance of Dwarves, Elves and Men alike?" -Thorin looked at them keenly- "for that is the reason you are here my lords. To offer your allegiance to Durin's Folk."

Everybody nodded except from Servin.

"You must be aware that my kin will offer their allegiance to both Men and Elves, for this battle proved to me that alone we shall perish. Divided we shall fall, united we shall stand. The men and women who faced the ordeal of seeing their family homes destroyed under this unspeakable wave of malevolence are now trying to find comfort in all the major dwarves cities around Middle Earth. Erebor is one of them. These men and women already feel pride that they are sharing the perils of our warriors in battle and they will be ready to alleviate even a small part of the peril that this soldiers have to endure in order to protect them. Let them feel pride in seeing the unity of our families joined in the battle against the darkness. Only if we assist one another, man to man and soldier to soldier, shall we be able not only to become great again, but to also create a fearsome front in the North that will be able to balance out the forces of evil between the north and the south."

"A triple alliance between Erebor, Dale and the Elves of Mirkwood...well it's an impressive idea, if not slightly ambitious." Bjarki raised his brow.

"Dale, the Elves of Mirkwood and the seven dwarf families of Erebor! There is not only one alliance that is needed to balance out the forces of evil, but many. Question is, can we do it?" Thorin said gravely.

"The elves betrayed our kin in many instances. How can we trust them?" Servin asked.

"They betrayed my people a hundred and seventy years ago, but also they stood next to my people a few months ago. They have shown me both faces. Good and evil. It all comes down to what we are willing to see. Can I give them a chance to prove that they can become our loyal allies? Can you?" Thorin said calmly.

Bjarki leaned back and offered Durar a thoughtful look. No one spoke.

"Are we prepared to lay the past to rest and allow a new era for our races to begin? Can we put our grudges behind and try to change history for our children? Can we overlook our pride so we can pave new roads for the future generations?" Thorin continued with a determined serenity that was influencing his interlocutors more than any boastful speech would have ever done.

No one spoke but they looked deeply thoughtful, drawn inwards by Thorin's heavy words.

"I am well aware that asking you to accept an allegiance to the Elves and Men may seem improbable, nay impossible. More so under such an unstable rule as mine." -Thorin said and placed his palms peacefully upon the table. Fili on the contrary tensed next to him.

"My Lord your rule is undisputed and respected by all. You are one of the most legendary warriors of our kin. One of the best commanders of Durin's folk..." Durar began, but Thorin raised his hand and stalled him.

"Allow me to explain," he asked politely.

Durar bowed respectfully.

"I was born under the most fierce warrior of our kin, lord Thrain. One cannot be born into such honourable blood and not feel ashamed for having stained their dignity with his actions. When I left the Blue Mountains with a new hope that I could reclaim Erebor, not only for my people but for all our kin, I always expected to come face to face with death. When that happened, I never expected to be brought back to life." -a smile cracked on his pale lips- "even less then did I ever believe that during this trial I would ...fall in love."

His admittance came so suddenly and was spoken so quietly, it sucked all the air out of the room. You could hear a pin dropping.

"Yes, my lords. I fell in love, quite unexpectedly. I saw my One and I knew I didn't want to live without her a single moment more. Was I reasonable? No, but who ever believes that a heart can be reasoned with?"

A few knowing smiles escaped here and there.

"I should have suppressed the call of my heart for the good of my people, like I have done in the past" -his eyes fell heavily on Servin who looked at his hands instantly- "but I was unable to do it this time. I made that folly once before and everything ...died around me. I didn't want to kill hope in my heart again. I couldn't." He kept looking at the top of Servin's head until Siv's brother looked up once more. His eyes were wet and his countenance broken. "I betrayed a beautiful woman in the past. A woman of incomparable ethics and a second to none loyalty. One of the brightest stars of Erebor. A woman that deserved the best of me, but got the worse. I feel ashamed and deeply regretful for that. My life had been a nightmare ever since I betrayed my first love. Then suddenly this woman came along and I saw my One again. I couldn't understand why I had this second chance in love until someone dear to me pointed out that I also had been given a second chance in life. I wasn't willing therefore to use that second chance in life and love to make the same mistakes. Would you have done so, had you been in my stead?" his eyes never left Servin's.

Siv's brother shook his head. "No." He rejoined with a shaken voice.

Thorin sighed and nodded. "The situation between my One and me was unpredictable, but my heart wished to follow it home and that is what I did. I don't regret presenting you my ultimate need to marry this woman no matter her low rank. A need that turned out unfounded as in the end life held for me a new nightmare. We separated, but surely most of you are aware of my most disgraceful situation by now. A disgrace that had nothing to do with the honourable lady by my side, but everything to do with me."

No one spoke and many averted their eyes.

"You, my Lords, must not allow the follies of my heart to stain what my mind has planned thoroughly for the good of our people. I know that it is hard-nay impossible of me to ask you to separate the actions that derived from my heart from the actions that were born in my mind, but I shall beg you to do so. For the will of my heart went against the will of my mind. What my heart sought was destroying what my mind had planned for this great stronghold and the unity of our seven families, until I threw it to ruins. I cannot hope to rule the mountain without everybody whispering behind my back about my shortcomings. That is why I am speaking so candidly to you today. I will hide nothing for you, for nothing must be hidden. You must know all and then make your decisions."

"My lord I swear..." Durar began, but Dain spoke over him.

"No one shall speak of your name offensively and hope to live in front of me," Dain's hand fell hard on the table.

Thorin raised his hand and silence fell. "Allow me please." He said calmly.

They all nodded except from Servin who looked frozen and pale.

"Not only have I dishonoured a brilliant woman in the past, but this madness has been repeated again with my fiancee, even though that was never my intention. Now I live to count my failures. I failed my forefathers and my people. My comrades, my soldiers, you and the two women I loved more than life. You may look at me and see a King that holds all the burden of this great stronghold on his shoulders, but am I such or is it just an illusion? At the end of the day I am just a man. Full of weaknesses and flaws that eventually proved evil enough to rattle the throne of Erebor from the roots. My shortcomings were able to destabilise the security of my people and make them live in fear of their future. A King should never put his needs above those of his people. I failed to that test, this time around. I admit to my follies and I strongly believe they will continue to create uncertainty for my kin if I insist on claiming the throne. I must ask your forgiveness. I shouldn't have ever asked you to unite under an unstable ruler."

A wave of shocked murmurs filled the cavern.

Thorin didn't stop. Instead his calmness slowly drew back and his voice became deeper and more stern. "I deny to be the one to bring back the shadow to these lands. I will not be the one to bring back the darkness in Durin's Halls. I will not be the King that shall be condemned to see his realm rise and fall for all eternity. I will be the one to break the circle of doom and see this rule rise to brilliance! I will be the one to help the seven stars of Durin rule again united and bring hope to the people, for that is what I have set out to do since the beginning! If I have to step away from the throne in order to achieve that, then I am ready."

Another wave of murmurs this time of confusion and nervousness.

Thorin reached out and picked up his scroll. He stood up and opened it. Fili stood up also and tried to hide his trembling hands from his uncle. "This is my official abdication and the reasons for it. The same reasons I spoke about today..."

Dain stood up and struck his hand on the table. "No! I shall not have that!"

Durar punched his heart. "Me neither!"

"Your abdication is the only thing that's going to cause an instability, not what happened in your personal life! This is unheard off! Straighten out your head Thorin!" Bjarki cried.

"He's acting honourably! Allow him to do so!" the Lord of Uri's Folk retorted heavily.

"Honourably? He's pulling the earth right from under our feet!" The Lord of Sindri's Folk rejoined angrily and then they all began arguing with each other. All except Servin who was looking at Thorin entranced.

"Silence!" the King's baritone reverberated through the cavern and brought immediate stillness. He looked around sternly.

Everyone held their breaths as they were in front of a historical moment not only for Erebor, but for all Middle Earth. No dwarfish King had ever abdicated.

"This is the manifesto of my abdication and it awaits the signature of the Heads of the six families. My signature is already on it."

No one dared to move.

"I believe in this unity with all my heart and I will back it up by any means I can. Stepping away from the throne is the best way to help you. I am doing this to allow a better ruler with a clean past and a bright future to take over. A fierce warrior that has stood by my side in countless battles. A brilliant commander and a righteous soul that will do his best for our kin. You cannot and will not pledge all the seven swords under my unsteady rule and questionable private life. Promise to me that you shall all pledge your hearts and swords under prince Fili's kingship and I will do my best to help both him and you in order to reclaim the greatness of our kin."

His words had made such a great impact that one could see how many of the lords seemed deeply affected. Many eyes were tearing up and many faces were looking away from the King.

Thorin picked up the Raven Crown and turned to his pale nephew that stood proud and still in front of him. He came down to one knee and presented him with the crown. "The King has abdicated. Long live the King." His rich voice reverberated into the cavern and everyone held their breaths.

Fili took the crown but didn't wear it. "Stand up please, before I kneel down too." His voice was shaking as he pulled up his beloved uncle.

"Do you want to completely break us you bloody bastard?...you are doing it..." Dain grumbled and wiped away several tears that had run down his cheeks.

Thorin turned his attention at his boy and felt his eyes overflowing with tears. He pulled him in by the nape and enclosed him in a tender embrace only a father could have given to his boy. "Rule wisely my son. Choose to listen to your heart over your mind. I lost centuries of happiness because I didn't know which part to listen to. Rule with your head held high and know that Kili's loss hadn't been for naught. Your brother and your father would have been so proud of where you stand today. The grand King of our brave kin."

Fili pressed him tightly. "Uncle please."

"I hope Mahal will bless me with life in order to stand by your side and admire your rule. Keep your head held high my King" -he pulled back and cupped Fili's cheek, pulling his face up. Fili's tears spread in Thorin's palms- "may Mahal bless your rule for more than a hundred years." He whispered with the sweetest smile his heart could have produced.

Fili placed the Raven Crown at the table and embraced his uncle with a force that knocked all the air out of Thorin's lungs. It took the abdicated King a lot of effort to pull away from Fili's tight embrace and give him a final smile of love. Then he looked at each and every lord straight in the eyes, unafraid and unshaken.

Each formidable head of the six clans kneeled down, even Servin.

Thorin bowed at them respectfully before throwing the door open and leaving.

* * *

When Thorin left the meeting room he was well aware that he had left behind six very upset lords and a nephew that was ready to collapse under the pressure. He knew very well that once more he was rewriting history, but this time not in the best colours. He had placed his hand around the roots that held the dwarves together for centuries and with his words and actions plunged them deep into the ground. Hoping to see a new tree to take on roots into these ancient lands. His sister had ben certain that Thorin would make history for being the first King to rule more than a hundred years. Instead he made history for being the first King to renounce the most important throne of their race.

When he left the meeting room he knew that he left behind him ruins, but he knew that sometimes a great shock is needed for men to push through and come out the other side victorious. His nephew may have been shaking like a leaf from head to toe, but now he had a chance to feel what it was like to be the ruler of such a great kingdom. He would be able to test his resilience against this hard trial and see if he could raise above. As for all these lords, now they had no reason whatsoever to deny their unity under the Arkenstone. Thorin had given them an impeccable young leader to rule them, that didn't have his dark past and present faulty decisions on his resume. He never bespoke of the King's gem on purpose, wanting to instil in them the noble notion that it was not a gem that would be uniting them, but their own need to become one against a common enemy. That they had to trust each other, Elves and Men and their new ruler in order to become great once more. That by distrusting their ruler or each other they would only become weaker in the eyes of the darkness. It had taken him two hundred years to realise what needed to be done and when he gave up that much coveted throne he didn't feel any sadness. Only pride for his nephew and hope that with this unconventional diplomatic move he had managed what was important for his kin. His own needs mattered little in front of the needs of his people. Hadn't he dreamed of sitting on that throne under the Arkenstone perchance? He had been dreaming it ever since he set out in this quest to reclaim Erebor. It was the only thing on his mind, so how ironic was it that he denied it with such ease?

When he entered the armoury his mind was almost empty. He took a long time to survey several armours and he ended up sitting down on a stone bench with Bilbo's forgotten Mithril in his hands. Contemplating if he wanted to wear it. Was it so important for him to survive at the end of the day? What mattered most has already been accomplished. He had done everything in his power to make things right. It was the voice of Dwalin that put a stop on his grim contemplations.

"What the hell have you done you mindless troll?"

Thorin looked up.

"Did you renounce the bleeding throne?!" Dwalin pointed behind him.

Thorin nodded quietly, "yes."

Dwalin sat down in front of him and pulled the Mithril out of his grasp. "Give me that bloody thing and tell me why are you hiding in here after you unleashed all hell in Erebor?"

"Erebor needed all hell unleashed in order to progress Dwalin. It was becoming stale and my rule was the one making those waters murkier by the day." Thorin retorted calmly.

"It took you a month to come to the decision to renounce the throne and bring us to our knees? What about all the sacrifices we made in order to come to this place? We shed our blood for you to sit on that throne. You died for this cause!" Dwalin snapped angrily.

"Wait a minute? Bring you to your knees? How did I do that? This kingdom has a respectable and honourable ruler in my stead. I didn't let it sail ungoverned. Don't accuse me of irresponsibility Dwalin. I am not well enough to handle your anger!"

Dwalin straightened and took a deep breath. "Fili poor boy is a brilliant warrior and an unprecedented commander but the burden you placed on his shoulders is too great. He cannot take over such a rule as yours! You are asking too much out of him too soon! Now he locked himself up in his study and is refusing to talk to anyone also."

"He will cope, I trust in him. There is no way to take over the reins of the Lonely Mountain and not go through some serious internal debate about your ability. I went through that, Thrain went through it and so did Thror. So will all the Kings that will pass from this bloody throne!" Thorin rejoined heavily.

Dwalin crossed his arms. "How about all the sacrifices we made for you to sit on it?"

"We Dwalin reclaimed this mountain and it's immense cold for all of our kin not only Durin's Folk. Does it matter if I sit under the Arkenstone or Fili? Is it so important which king is on the throne when we have gained back our homeland and the Longbeards will create the unison of the seven clans under their rule? I am using my second chance in life in order to make Thror's dream come true. The lords would never unite under me. At least one would have put a stop into this noble cause. Servin. By stepping away I am giving him the opportunity to join the others and make this damn dream come true for all of us. Do you think Thrain and Thror would have minded if I was on the throne or their great grandson is? Wouldn't they have minded much more about the unison of the seven clans?" Thorin said imperatively.

Dwalin's lips turned down. "I don't want bow to any other King than you Thorin. I love Fili like a son, but it's not the same."

Thorin leaned his face onto his palm and felt all the internal fatigue suddenly pouring out of him, "don't look at this personally. Try to look at the greater good Dwalin. You know what I did was the only way for us to achieve our primary goal."

Dwalin hesitated for a few moments before speaking again. "And to clear up Eilin's name."

Thorin shuddered. "I would have never dragged her name to the ground Dwalin, no matter what happened."

His friend leaned his elbows on his knees. "By Gods, I know."

"They would have never united under me. Not after everything that happened with Eilin and the choices I made. I had to clear her name and I had to give this unity a chance. I was becoming a liability." Thorin sounded exhausted, but determined.

"You don't seem to understand that you are our biggest asset, not a liability." Dwalin shook his head disheartened.

"I was a liability with the gold sickness, and I am a liability now..." Thorin's voice became harder.

Dwalin's nose flared. He grabbed Thorin's bicep firmly. "No!"

Thorin pulled free. "It's done. It's over...enough..." he sounded bone-tired.

Dwalin closed his eyes, but remained silent.

"Split the supervision of Erebor's army between you and Dain please..." Thorin rubbed his forehead.

"What?" Dwalin looked up suddenly.

"Lis found a half dead woman in the borders of Mirkwood. Our defences are not as sturdy as I would have wanted them. This woman came too close to Erebor and the little one shouldn't have gone out this far. You and Dain survey the outposts and make sure the protection around Erebor is not slacking. Stand next to Fili and give him advice. He doesn't have the experience needed, but he has a fire in his heart. You, Dain, Balin, Durar, Bjarki and Gloin will provide the experience Fili needs. Keep all of them close to him and coordinate everything between you." Thorin rejoined and stood up to search the weapons on the racks.

"Do that yourself! It's you the army needs to see in order to take up courage, not us. It's you that Fili needs by his side, not us. Do you intend to go anywhere and you are giving me such grave orders?" Dwalin frowned back at him.

Thorin shook his head. "Don't play with me Dwalin, I have no more strength."

"Me neither. You broke me completely." Dwalin's eyes teared up.

"Forgive me, but I have no other choice." Thorin said quietly.

Dwalin stood up and walked in front of him. He clasped his shoulders with a worried frown. "Why did you come into the armoury Thorin?"

Thorin rubbed his forehead, but remained silent.

Dwalin looked at the opening of Thorin's royal tunic around the neck and upper chest. He frowned and with his fingers pulled it further back. He looked at the centre of Thorin's wide chest. "Is this what the skin artist created that day you asked for him?"

Thorin pulled back. "Yes."

"A dove...," Dwalin's gaze felt imperative.

Thorin walked to the war axe rack silently.

"Whom was it made for?" Dwalin asked him with burning eyes.

Thorin picked up an axe and balanced it on his hand to feel it's solid weight calming him down. He didn't answer again.

"Is it for Eilin?" Dwalin rejoined persistently.

"Stop," Thorin hissed and his long fingers tightened around the handle of the weapon.

Dwalin gritted his teeth and came over to him. He grabbed his bicep and turned him around fiercely. "Tell me what you want me to do and I shall do it! Do you want me to go find her for you? I will!"

Thorin shook his head. "I don't know what to do. This is an endless torture that I don't know how to stop."

"You are just a man who is hurting from deep sorrow. Give yourself some time to settle down. It won't be easy," Dwalin tried a gentler approach on seeing his friend in such repressed anguish.

"I failed everyone Dwalin," Thorin looked back at him. His eyes had a shadow of determination that made Dwalin take a more careful look at him.

"You've never failed me. I will be forever by your side! I will follow you everywhere, I've told you before!" Dwalin retorted heavily.

"There is only one place I want to go," Thorin muttered.

Dwalin turned around and started checking the other rack that was full of battle hammers. "Name it. I will choose my weapon and I shall follow you!" He spoke these words with the endless loyalty that always burned with fiery passion in his heart, but they were the last words he was going to speak to Thorin that evening. Thorin's war axe struck Dwalin on the back of the head with it's blunt handle. The strike was of extreme precision, but so violent it didn't give Dwalin the chance to realise what happened. He fell unconscious onto the stone floor with a faded groan of pain.

Thorin sat on his shins and checked Dwalin's pulse. It was beating steadily. Then he pulled Dwalin's hair away from his nape to check on his wound. It was bleeding mildly. He cupped Dwalin's forehead. "I don't want you to follow me where I am going, you fool." He whispered and stood up.

He looked at Bilbo's Mithril shirt in disdain and threw down the war axe. Before leaving the armoury he gave one last forlorn look to his childhood friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Elvish poetry (Annotated Hobbit, p. 92)


	49. To your heart, I am bound

The very same evening at the Shire, Eilin was trying very hard to become the maiden that master Bilbo had hired even though the gentle hobbit never required any work out of her. That noon the very famous grey wizard had knocked at their doors and Eilin lounged around at the kitchen quietly in order to admire that legendary figure that she had seen also from afar in Erebor. Loa took over everything concerning the food that was to be served and about the arrangements of the table. In fact it was Loa who served the two friends even though Eilin insisted to do it. Load denied vehemently reminding Eilin about the poor condition of her health and the ongoing weakness of her body that for some reason was becoming worse by the day. It was not only the weight she was losing, It was also her inability to stand up for too long without feeling weak at the knees. Those concerns always send Eilin's mind into a tailspin about her pregnancy, making feel rather certain that something evil was going to happen. Each time she used the toilet she went in with perturbation and came out partly relieved. The fear was eating up inside whatever Thorin's dismissal hadn't already destroyed. At times she didn't know if she'd be able to give birth to this child if she ever came to term. She wasn't certain she'd dig up the courage and the strength it needed to undertake this formidable task alone. Of course Loa reassured her that she was going to be there and that she had acted as a midwife in several cases, but that still counted as alone for poor Eilin. Her One was not going to be there. Half of her was missing and her heart was unable to mend, no matter the generosity of Bella or anyone else that tried to uplift her spirits and fill out the huge void Thorin's absence had created.

So she lingered in the kitchen taking sneak peeks of the grey wizard and caressing her belly as Loa served them tea after a rather satisfying dinner.

"I thought you were supposed to stay to Ithilien more." Bilbo sipped his tea calmly.

"I was asked to join Lord Elrond in Rivendell and you know well my dear friend that if my way passes close to the Shire I will visit, even if it is for a little while." Gandalf's lips curled up.

Bilbo sighed. "It's good that you came, even though my household is rather hectic at the moment."

Gandalf raised his brow. "I've heard you became a rather generous host to a very illustrious guest."

Eilin paled and threw a gaze of trepidation at Loa who smiled at her.

"Illustrious is an understatement." Bilbo scrounged his lips.

"Do tell..." Gandalf smirked and raised his brow.

"Oh, this went undetected by the most nosy wizard of Middle Earth? How?" Bilbo beamed up truly surprised.

"I know that your guest is very important to Erebor," Gandalf said quietly.

"But you don't know who it is!" Bilbo raised his finger.

"Admittedly no..." Gandalf rejoined.

Bilbo settled down and looked at the wizard for a little while silently.

"Come on Baggins!" -Gandalf rumbled- "We've been through hell together. You know I will not betray your secret."

Bilbo shook his head. "Thorin did a very good job, if this went undetected by you."

Eilin leaned against the casing of the archway, still hidden.

"That stubborn dwarf lord has to do with your guest?" Gandalf exhaled some smoke through his nose.

Bilbo sighed. "I am hosting the fiancee of the Mountain King and the unborn heir of Durin."

Gandalf's face froze in time.

"Took me years to silence you..." Bilbo's lips cracked a small smile.

Gandalf inhaled smoke deeply. "Well...King Thorin has been rather busy from what I reckon, but not everything you are revealing is new to me. All of Middle Earth knows about the famous red headed siren, but I admit none know about the child in her."

Bilbo exhaled through his nose. "Things are rather grim and I'd rather we didn't speak more for this, or that it doesn't get out."

Gandalf raised his brow. "My mouth is sealed, but can I meet her?"

Bilbo shook his head. "Forget it. Poor woman is in frail health. She needs repose."

Eilin toyed with the hem of her apron for several moments, not feeling Loa's imperative eyes on her back. When she decided to reveal herself from the safe enclosure of the kitchen alcove, Gandalf's mouth curled up in a very appreciative smile. "I think she decided to cut her repose short my dear Baggins."

Bilbo cringed and moved about his seat uncomfortably. "Why are you up dear Eilin? You should be laying down." He looked at her concerned.

She pointed above her shoulder. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with the grey wizard," she said quietly.

"And you decided to make your appearance." Gandalf noticed.

"You were talking about me..." she said casually.

"Which was inappropriate so please forgive us, but allow an old man as me to reveal how enchanted he is by you," Gandalf bowed gracefully and took off his hat.

She blushed and looked towards her apron. "Nice to meet your acquaintance my lord."

"I am no lord. Come come, let me have a closer look at you," Gandalf motioned her to approach.

She forced a smile. "I really have to return to my room Sir. The only reason I came out was to beg you to keep the knowledge of my pregnancy a secret. The reputation of a great man is at stake by it. Please..."

Gandalf's brows clouded. "I shall not speak of it young lady. Fear not. I have kept the secrets of Gods. I am sure I can keep yours."

She closed her eyes in relief and offered them a ghostly smile. "Thank you. I must return to my room. If you would excuse me." She made to go, but Gandalf's voice stopped her.

"Surely you can stay for a few precious moment in order to allow me to admire you." Gandalf smiled.

"Admire me? I assure you there is nothing to admire," she averted her eyes timidly.

"But I see there is, young lady. You are the beautiful woman that stole the heart of the Mountain King. You have created a legend of your own in Middle Earth. Your name is being sung by bards and many women look up to you, not only in the dwarven cities, but in many different places, in many different races." Gandalf grinned.

Eilin's face paled. "They look up to me, even after what happened between me and the Mountain King? My story doesn't have a good ending master wizard and these songs must be very sad indeed. I must be a very poor role model for all these women." She felt her eyes burning.

Bilbo came to her rescue. "Gandalf can we please drop the subject? I don't think it is appropriate to discuss this with her."

Eilin turned to Bilbo. "No master Baggins, allow him to talk. This has been burning my heart for so long. What kind of a role model can an interracial maiden that used to sleep with whores be master Gandalf for the young girls of Middle Earth?" she said showing the true hatred she was feeling for herself.

"Only the very best young lady. You seem to have a skewed idea of your worth, something that derives from your past, yet Middle Earth doesn't have the same idea for you. Isn't that peculiar?" Gandalf raised his brow.

"Then either I am daft or your ears and eyes are misleading you master wizard! What happened to me was not something that must be sung to children. It is something that must be hidden in the darkest dungeons of each city and village. Or maybe it should be sang, but as an example of what to avoid in love!" She said and her small hands became tight fists.

Gandalf exhaled smoke calmly, but his eyes turned deeply scrutinising on her after a few moments of silence. "Indeed what happened was not pleasant. I am sorry you had to go through all this young lady."

Eilin frowned and pulled back confused. "That I had to go through? What do you mean?" Her voice lost all it's might and became hushed.

Gandalf raised his brow. "It was almost expected that the tempest that surrounds Thorin would eventually drive you away. How can any woman stand by the side of this stubborn dwarf lord? He knows well how to light up fire tornadoes, but doesn't know how to extinguish them unfortunately. What did he do to dishonour you? What despicable action of his drove you away?"

"What are you talking about? You think he acted dishonourably to me, that's why I left?" Eilin looked up suddenly.

Gandalf looked confused at her. "Of course. What else could have happened?"

Eilin couldn't tell if that man knew and was pretending the opposite or if he was indeed in the dark. "Master wizard you don't need to pretend ignorance. All of Erebor and possibly the whole of Middle Earth knows by now the real reason why I followed mister Bilbo to the Shire. They are all aware of the shame that will be following me for the rest of my life. The branding of infidelity and betrayal that will mark my name forever. Don't the songs describe how my betrayal broke the Mountain King? Don't they speak about the child I conceived with another man in order to destroy the heart of Thorin Oakenshield? Don't they show my love for gold and power? And if they don't maybe they should...they should inform all these women that look up to me about all the reasons that separated me from the legendary Mountain King." She sounded as exhausted as she felt and didn't need to keep up pretence for anyone anymore. She was just tired of everything.

"Eilin, I'd suggest you don't speak anymore." Bilbo looked at her imperatively.

She looked at her hands that felt cold and shaky. "Why mister Bilbo? It's not as if everybody doesn't know already. I am sure many people expected this behaviour from an interracial girl with questionable ethics. A girl who doesn't even know her parents..." The lack of empathy for herself was worrying. Loa felt her eyes overflowing with tears and touched her shoulders gently only to feel them shuddering.

"Ma'm please stop," she tried, but Eilin ignored her.

Bilbo paled. "Eilin you are the one revealing what happened. No one knows! Can you please stop?!"

She gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes tight. The feelings of frustration combined with the feelings of anger she had been keeping locked inside for so long were making her stomach tight. "I am bone tired of everything! Enough of hiding away and lying mister Bilbo! I will tell the truth about what happened. How my honour was slurred to the King and how he believed our enemies instead of me! I am not afraid of judgement anymore! I have my dignity! I know that the only reason this hasn't affected me yet is because I am buried in your house in the most peaceful place in Middle Earth. Had I been closer to a dwarven city, I would have been arrested for ultimate treason and stoned to death. Someone would have delivered the proper punishment towards an alleged whore that was infidel to the Mountain King, no matter that I never did such a thing!"

Gandalf frowned deeply. "What is this woman talking about? What in the name of the Iluvatar happened in Erebor during my absence?"

Bilbo exhaled. "You don't want to know even though this silly girl is telling everything to you anyway." He threw his hands in the air and turned to Eilin. "Can you please just stop this?"

Eilin rubbed her teary face and shook her head. "I am sorry mister Gandalf...I just cannot take this anymore. It's been strangulating me ever since it happened...I need to speak out loud or this will kill me!"

Gandalf observed her calmly. "You have a lot of emotions bottled up young lady. It is good that you released them for they can cause harm. Nevertheless I assure you that I have heard nothing of what you have just related to me and neither does anyone else. The songs about you speak of the bewitching red headed siren that stole the heart of the Mountain King and how he one day coldly send her away. How she's withering forlorn in some forgotten land in Middle Earth and how the King has simply faded away as his heart couldn't take her loss. No song is speaking about you being an infidel for heaven's sake." His eyes scrutinised her deeply.

She looked up sharply at that and held her breath. "What?" she whispered.

"Middle Earth is not aware what is going on inside the King's house and those who are aware of your separation don't know what you have related to me in the midst of your frustration. In fact no one knows that your separation from the Mountain King happened because of your questionable ethics. This is the first time I've heard of this and I know everything that is happening in Middle Earth."

She felt her knees unlocking and something unclasped inside violently. Something that made her instantly nauseous and dizzy. "No one speaks bad about me? No one knows what I supposedly did to him? No one from his kin?"

Gandalf shook his head. "I don't know if his very close friends know something, but nothing has been leaked."

Eilin paled and her bottom lip began trembling. She felt difficulty breathing. "I thought they were going to drag my already destroyed reputation to the gutter..."

"No." Gandalf replied quietly.

"Why, why...how?" she muttered feeling the world going out of focus. Something warm and sticky released from inside of her and began dripping down her thighs.

"I must deduct that the details of your separation are being protected by the very stones of Erebor young lady. Someone is making sure what happened is kept safe on pain of death. The world is singing about your beauty, your kindness, your brightness and your loyalty, not this dark betrayal. They are singing about the King who failed his beautiful One, not the other way around. They are singing of your merits and his follies." Gandalf raised his brow and Bilbo gave him a guarded look.

"You said they are singing about Thorin fading away...what does that mean?" she whispered and grasped her belly. A cold hand of terror wrapped around her already aching stomach.

Even the insinuation that Thorin had kept her supposed betrayal a secret in order to protect her broke her apart. All the anguish and agony that she had kept lethargic by sleeping all the time had suddenly found a way out and she was unable to stop them. She felt her whole body trembling like a leaf and reached out to steady herself on the back of mister Bilbo's chair.

"Fading away...hmmm," Gandalf pursed his lips.

Eilin's heart thudded in her ears and the world came out of focus for a moment.

"The King has abdicated and taken onto his shoulders all responsibility for every reason that led him to that hard decision, including all responsibility for your separation. Your ethics young lady remain intact and that comes from Erebor itself." Gandalf raised his brow, rather interested in seeing this woman's reaction to his words.

"What the hell did he do?!" Bilbo cried and bolted from his seat.

"No..." she felt her heart palpitating. He abdicated, because of her? He took all responsibility even though this has never been either his fault or hers? What has she done? Why did she leave him? What has he done? Why didn't he believe her? What have they done to each other? She felt the world closing down slowly.

"Ma'm what's wrong!?" Loa dropped her tray and all the china broke to pieces. She grabbed Eilin by the shoulders.

"I don't feel well..." she whispered and felt her eyes rolling to the back of her head.

"Sir! Do something!" Loa cried to Bilbo the moment she saw a small pool of blood under Eilin's legs. "The baby! She's losing the baby!"

Eilin didn't remember anything after that. She fainted right there in mister Bilbo's living room and was quickly carried onto her bed. Loa placed many towels under her and lifted up her dress and bloody petticoats. Preparing for what seemed like an inevitable miscarriage. Something that she had been expecting ever since they left Erebor. Miss Eilin was hanging by a thread all this time. Something gave her the merciless push over the edge tonight. "We need warm water. She is going to bring out the baby. I need to keep her clean and calm down her belly!" Loa said and checked on the blood flow.

Bilbo felt his eyes welling. "Do something for her Gandalf, for Eru's sake!" He pointed at the bed.

Gandalf's staff fell on Bilbo's shaking shoulder and the whole room became several tones darker. "Stand aside." When the grey wizard leaned above Eilin and touched her brow the darkness that had befallen the room slowly retreated.

After several moments were Gandalf's eyes burned Eilin's pallid face, her terror filled eyes flew open. Her hands grabbed the sheets and became tight fists of agony and her mouth opened up to release a feral cry that echoed through all the streets and rolling hills of the Shire and contained a single name.

"THORIN!"

With that cry of anguish several flocks of birds flew into the night and along with them Roac that up till then was perched outside Eilin's window.

* * *

_Thorin stood at the piers and gazed at the calm waters that were reflecting the orange hue of the setting sun. He then turned slowly towards the beautiful young boy that stood across from him. He saw so much resemblance to him inside those young bright blue eyes and dark wavy hair._

_Thorin shook his head. "Is this a dream?..."_

_The boy smiled. "It is."_

_"What are we doing out here?" Thorin looked around him._

_"I brought you out here to say goodbye to you." The boy smiled._

_"Goodbye? I just met you..." Thorin frowned._

_"So did I, but you must depart soon and so must I..." He pointed at the ship behind him._

_Thorin looked at it for a few moments. "Where am I going?"_

_"The undying lands..." the boy rejoined quietly._

_"I am going to Valinor?" he whispered feeling confused._

_"You are going where everyone who needs a respite goes. You've seen so much hell, so much death. You've been so burdened, you need to get relief. You need to rest. You've earned your place on that vessel." the boy said and pointed at the ship behind him._

_"I don't think I want to go..." Thorin's brows wavered with indecision. "I'm leaving something behind. Something way too important."_

_"Don't you want to rest?" the boy asked._

_Thorin's eyes fell closed and he exhaled a warm breath that sounded so clear in his ears. "Immensely."_

_"Don't you yearn to lay down unwearied and sleep?" the young spitting image of Thorin continued._

_"You have no idea son..." he muttered and felt his eyes tearing up._

_"Don't you long relief from all your wounds?" the boy smiled._

_Thorin shook his head gently. "I long for it so much it hurts."_

_"Then enter that vessel and you shall find the repose you have earned." The dwarfling pointed behind him._

_Thorin's eyes opened up and his lips parted slightly. "I want to go so much and yet I cannot leave. There is something still here for me...I know it."_

_"If you miss this vessel, where will you find rest?" the boy frowned._

_"I don't know..." Thorin admitted._

_"But it's here for you. Waiting for you...you must depart. As must I..." the handsome boy rebuked calmly._

_"Where are you going?" Thorin took a step closer and kneeled down to boy's level._

_"I don't know yet, but I think I might not get a chance to be reborn. I might have to go back to my dark grave and wait again until the time comes..." the boy's eyes became thoughtfully sad._

_Thorin's hand cupped the dwarfling's soft cheek. "You are too young to speak about death...too unspoiled to enter any grave."_

_"But I must leave too..." the boy smiled and his small hand circled around Thorin's big one protectively._

_"I shall not allow you to return into any darkness..." Thorin's parted lips whispered breathlessly and his eyes filled with tears._

_The boy came over and nestled into Thorin's embrace and the abdicated King's heavy arms enfolded the dwarfling close to his heart. "You are missing...you are not even there. The ship to Valinor is waiting for you...we must say goodbye."_

_Thorin shook his head ardently and gave a pained kiss on the boy's cheek. "I won't let you go...I won't get into that ship...I won't rest..."_

_The boy's arms tightened around Thorin's sides. "You will challenge fate? You will come?"_

_Thorin's jawline flexed and his teeth gritted. "I will...if the Gods allow me I swear I will..." he spoke with a hushed tone._

_The boy smiled widely. "Thank you."_

_"Will you remain too?" Thorin whispered._

_"I will try," the boy rejoined quietly._

_"What's your name?" Thorin asked._

_The boy's voice was hushed. "Durin."_

_Thorin pulled back slightly and his lips parted. "Our forefather is buried son, waiting to raise again from the dead. Waiting to be reborn. We mustn't peruse his name."_

_The boy's lips curled up and his eyes shown with a wisdom that was beyond his years. "I am Durin. How can I use a different name, when this is the name you gifted me with?"_

_"I gave you this name?" Thorin replied confused._

_The boy inclined his head. "Yes."_

_Thorin's arms tensed around Durin, securing him there. "Now that I found you, I am never letting you go." He promised._

_"I know father," Durin replied with a voice of unexpected depth and Thorin felt the tremors of concern, but also of exhilaration running down his spine without truly making out who was the father and who was the heir at that moment. Every perception...every concept got finely twisted around that dream, leaving him mystified._

-.-

He inhaled sharply and stood up as if something invisible had pulled him by the arms. Still half dizzy from his heavy sleep he staggered and caught himself on a tree bark.

He grabbed his chest and pressed it firmly to make sure his heart was thudding as hard as he was hearing it in his ears. The pain..that pain had come straight from his loins hadn't it? Or was it just a dream? He had seen a dream he was certain, but the details eluded him. Actually he remembered absolutely nothing except from the hope it had rekindled in his heart. He was usually able to remember all his dreams clearly, or at least have a faint recollection of what they were about, but not this one. The more he was trying to remember, the further away the memories fled from him. It was as if he had them at the edge of his grasp, but they pulled away every time he reached out to touch them. Then...there was the faint feeling that what had awoken him was not this elusive dream, but a pain that came straight from his stomach and a scream that tore through the dimly lit passages of his mind like a sword on fire...

"Eilin?..." he whispered with a confused frown, still walking between the land of dreams and reality. It took him several moments to gather himself from that peculiar nightmare that he couldn't remember at all and the certainty that something was wrong with Eilin. He was left alone with a forlorn feeling hanging over his head like an axe of doom. When finally the residues of his dream began fading away he closed his eyes and tried to calm down his eradicated thoughts about Eilin. Was she alright? What was it that had woken him up so violently? Why did he wake up with the certainty that something had happened to her? He paced back and forth in front of the fire, trying to wipe away his perspiration as the fear about her well being was coming and going erratically.

It took him almost half the night to manage to sit by the fire once more. It took him even longer to feel his eyes shutting while they were gazing at the sharp outlines of the damned stronghold that haunted his dreams for so long. He glared it breathless for several moments before exhaling a trapped breath and closing his eyes again. The need to lay down in front of his fire and sleep till the morning was very strong, but he hadn't come out here tonight to sleep in the middle of nowhere.

When he left Erebor, he had already decided his final destination, but when he arrived something kept him from storming it straight away. As if a pair of invisible hands held him back from what was to be his last quest. He could have asked for the assistance of his kinsmen, many would have followed. He could have tried out the honesty of Thranduil's pledge and called the Elves for assistance.

He did neither.

He rendered unconscious the only person that came close to figuring out his plans and left the city as quickly as possible, knowing that the heavy snowfall was going to cover up his tracks instantly. Finding him would take time and few to none would think of looking at this old forsaken monument of darkness. Neither Elves or Dwarves approached Dol Guldur and for good reason.

Nevertheless Thorin needed one last chance to rectify his wrongs towards everyone. Like he revealed to Lis that day at the infirmary, he didn't want to die without using all his chances. After abdicating and trusting Erebor in the capable hands of his nephew, with the hope that Fili's impeccable ethics would finally unite the seven Dwarven Kingdoms, he set out to reclaim his original quest. To find his father or his remains. Back in the Blue Mountains when he first learned that his father had perished he had vowed to bring back his body for burial. The quest for Erebor and the subsequent adventures had put a stop into that noble idea. Now was the time to act on that old oath.

He remained there with his arms resting upon his knees almost enchanted by the outlines of Dol Guldur under the backdrop of a pale sky for what felt like eons of absolute stillness. It was by the break of dawn that an unexpected voice drew his attention. He inhaled sharply and looked above his shoulder at his visitor.

"Mountain King," Radagast was looking at him with mild interest.

"Tender of Beasts. Long time no see," he whispered and turned to the dying embers of his fire.

"Haven't seen you since I helped you escape these orcs close to Rivendell." Radagast got off his sled and approached the fire.

"Let me offer you a belated thank you." Thorin rejoined quietly.

Radagast took a sit next to Thorin with few groans of pain. "Never mind."

Thorin gave him a careful side look. "Settled down?"

"You don't mind do you?" Radagast winced.

"I don't remember inviting you," Thorin raised his brow.

"I got back pains. Too much humidity in the forest." Radagast warmed up his hands at the fire, totally ignoring Thorin's call for privacy.

"I'd rather prefer to keep my silence if you don't mind," Thorin repeated and turned his heavy gaze towards the dark stronghold.

"It's rather rude for you to send me away!" Radagast noticed.

Thorin raised his brow testily, but remained silent.

"Cannot expect a dwarf to reply with politeness I suppose...audacity is in your nature." Radagast continued unfazed by the darkness that was sipping out of Thorin's body.

"I am really not in the mood for petty conversation brown wizard. Gather your rabbits and be on your merry way." Thorin rejoined sternly.

Radagast looked at him intensely and made no move to stand up. "Does my presence bother you?"

"Your need to discuss about dwarven rudeness does," the firm comeback was delivered coldly.

Radagast settled down and pulled off his hat revealing the bird nest on his hair. "Very well, I shall try not to offend your kin anymore. Am I allowed to warm my weary bones before I go?"

Thorin raised his brow and looked at the chirping birds for a few moments quietly.

Radagast leaned back and exhaled in relief. "Ah, sometimes I still wonder why I have settled in Mirkwood. I don't seem to be welcomed by anyone in this forest. Nor by the Elves who think I am meddling with the animals too much, nor by the Dwarves who apparently hate my honesty, neither by the Northmen who believe I keep Mirkwood magically unapproachable to them."

"Which I am sure you are doing," Thorin pursed his lips.

"Well..." Radagast smirked.

"Why don't you resettle then if you feel unwelcome? No one is asking you to remain." Thorin rejoined not in any mood to get caught up in a conversation with any wizard at that moment, even though Radagast was not allowing him that luxury.

"This forest needs protection from the brutal ways of mankind and the roughness of the dwarves."

Thorin's eyes thinned on him.

"You cannot deny the brashness of your kin, King under the Mountain."

Thorin inhaled deeply and looked at the fire.

"Besides I prefer the company of the wild life. I don't like to live close to people much."

Thorin's lips twisted testily. "Cannot find much fault in that."

Radagast observed him closely for several moments before speaking. "I've always liked you, even though I never truly liked your kin."

Thorin humphed.

Radagast gazed at him with an abstract interest. "You communicate with the ravens. No one who commands such respect from these magnificent animals can be coarse or unrefined."

Thorin's mouth formed a half hearted smile. "Thank you for the camouflaged compliment."

Radagast observed him carefully. "So what is the Mountain King doing outside the Hill of Dark Sorcery?"

Thorin looked back at the stronghold. "I am not him anymore."

"Let me rephrase then. What is Thorin the Second doing outside this dark stronghold?" Radagast repeated calmly.

Thorin drew a deep breath. "I have unfinished business with its occupants."

"The ones hiding behind the dark veil?" Radagast raised his brows.

Thorin inclined his head.

"That is mighty brave of you Thorin the Second, but I only see you here. Where is your army?" Radagast looked around him.

"I have none." Thorin rejoined sternly.

A long pause came from Radagast. "So you came alone to face the Black Easterling and his forces?"

"Apparently."

"You are way too ambitious in your plans or trust way too much in your strength. No mortal is equal to the forces that hide behind these ruins." Radagast rebuked with raised brows.

"I know." Thorin frowned.

"This sounds more like a suicide mission, more than anything else."

Thorin remained silent.

Radagast sighed. "All bridges across were ruined by the Necromancer."

"I'll find a way in." Thorin frowned deeply.

Radagast remained silent for a long time and Thorin's focus became more determined by each moment that was passing by.

"I cannot understand why you would seek death, because that's the only thing you are going to find in there." Radagast cringed as his eyes fell on the ruined walls of Dol Guldur.

Thorin pushed himself up slowly and felt all his bones and muscles aching. Nevertheless he stood up straight and proud in front of the old Elven stronghold. "How can you understand myriads of thoughts that took such a long time and so many incidents in order to form, Bird-Tamer? You may be a Maia, but you have taken on the skin of mortals. That darkens the mind, doesn't it? Mortal faults take away part of your magic and part of your wisdom, correct?"

Radagast nodded. "More than I'd wish at times."

"Do you regret living inside a mortal skin?" Thorin looked at him thoughtfully.

"No, for I have found a higher purpose here, a deeper meaning. I was not send here to assist men in their battles, but to assist nature overcome these battles. The animals do not choose to get entangled in the fire of hate that burns through the hearts of Men, Elves and Dwarves. They don't want to get into the middle of your battles. Someone needs to protect them from all this darkness that is spreading upon Middle Earth." Radagast replied.

Thorin nodded and walked towards the bridge that he had camped in front off. "That's why I am going in there for. To find my purpose in this cursed life and finish it with the most honourable way. Like it should have finished up in RavenHill". He said quietly and looked at the large gap in front of him and at the silent unmoving darkness of the other side. A wave of apprehension sailed down his back, but he kept it at bay, like every other feeling taking hold of his heart this night.

"A noble cause, yet hopeless it seems." Radagast noticed.

"The old ways must come to an end brown wizard." -He mused at the blackness under him- "Maybe the fresh blood will respect your nature far more than we have."

Radagast pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Maybe the fresh blood will need the wise guidance of the old ways master Dwarf and you are denying it the opportunity to learn from the best."

"I am not wise." -Thorin shook his head and began unbuckling his forearm shields that fell defeated next to his boots- "and I am far from being the best."

Radagast stood up, but instead of approaching Thorin he went to his sled. "This is nothing more than another useless sacrifice for the dead. Don't you have someone living to sacrifice yourself for instead?"

Thorin unbuckled his sword sheaths and threw them to the ground. He felt his heart missing a beat and tears blurred his eyesight. "Not anymore I don't."

"That sounds disturbingly forlorn." Radagast rejoined.

The King nodded and got rid of both his coat and metal plated vest. The only things that could protect him. He remained only with his tunic and leaned down to pick up his swords. "It is." His hushed voice was meant only for his ears.

Radagast frowned deeply behind him.

After a long silence were Thorin kept looking at the crumbled bridge, the voice of the wizard broke his concentration one more time. "Your size is rather formidable for a Dwarf. Intimidating for me to be quite honest, but do you want me to toss you over? I'd give it a try..." Radagast cringed as he looked at Thorin's wide frame and rather tall stature.

Thorin looked back and raised his brow slowly.

Radagast shook his head disappointed. "Nope, that won't work for certain."

For the first time after his discussions with Lis Thorin felt the faint need to smile. His lips curled up into a ghostly try. "Thank you for the offer, but nobody tosses a dwarf* master wizard." He smiled. Then he backed up and before Radagast had a chance to reply he jumped the gap and landed easily on the other side. The moment he stood up the dark magic of the place swallowed him and he vanished from the wizard's eyes.

Radagast picked up his reins and addressed his nervous Rhosgobel rabbits. "Come on we don't have much time. We have to rush!" he cried and snapped the reins at them.

* * *

"Oakenshield, King Oakenshield..." the whisper came again from Rhiannon's dry lips and Lis stood up immediately. They were alone in the infirmary. Apparently something very serious had taken place in Erebor and everybody was in an almost panicked commotion. Even the medical man had run off, leaving little Lis alone with the unconscious woman she had found at the woods.

Lis dipped a cloth in some water and placed it at the woman's lips. "He's not here ma'm. No one knows where he is and the prince has now taken over the city. It's a mess. Thank Mahal mom has left. She's better in the Shire with mister Bilbo and poor miss Eilin."

Rhiannon's eyes cracked open and a skeletal hand grasped little Lis's hand. "Eilin? Eilin Firebeard?"

Lis frowned. "Yes ma'am. Do you know her?"

Rhiannon traced the bruised on her face that Karunn's thieves had left her as a present and felt her eyes overflowing with tears. "She's my best friend. My sister. When did she leave?"

Lis wiped away the dirt from the woman's face carefully. "She left for the Shire almost a month ago."

Rhiannon felt the trapped sobs releasing from her weak chest. "I need to talk to the King. It's important! It is a matter of life and death!"

Lis caressed her oily hair and turned around to dip the cloth into water again in order to hide the cringe that came to her face. "I told you ma'm. King's gone."

"I need to talk to the prince then! This had to do with Eilin!" Rhiannon's bony hand grasped Lis's small one.

"I don't think you are listening to me ma'm. Something serious happened in the city. No one is here but me!" Lis exhaled in annoyance.

Rhiannon felt her eyes closing down from exhaustion. "If I cannot speak to anyone else then I must speak to you before I fade away again. I feel weak."

"I am listening," Lis forced a smile.

"Lady Karunn. Have you ever heard of her?" Rhiannon clutched Lis's hand tightly.

Lis frowned. "Of course. She's lady Valdis' older sister. Lord Fain's oldest daughter. Iron Maiden from the Ironhills."

"She didn't lie about her identity, fool of a woman. She thought I'd die in the forest, conniving evil beast..." Rhiannon spat and began coughing again. She arched off the bed in pain.

Lis cringed. "Calm down ma'm and don't swear! Neither mom nor King Thorin want me to learn swear words!" She warned.

Rhiannon's hand squeezed her with far more strength Lis would have given her credit for. "Can you retell what I say to you to some grown up in this city? Someone with access to the prince?"

Lis flicked her shoulders. "I'll try."

"Karunn came to the Forsaken Inn. I gave her Eilin's baby belt and she promised to bring me back to Erebor with her. She paid men to kill me along the road. I got away. Someone has to inform the King and Eilin that this woman is conniving something against them! Please child...I don't know if I will live long enough to speak these words to anyone else. I was Eilin's best friend at the Forsaken Inn. Karunn tricked me. She's going to try and trick them too. You have to speak these words to someone...please." Rhiannon was panting from the effort.

Lis felt the blood draining from her face and began circling nervously around herself feeling at a loss. "Oh...shit! ...I cannot swear, but oh holy shit! Okay...wait, let's breathe...Can you stay alone for a moment?"

Rhiannon looked at her through blurry eyes and nodded weakly. "Yes, child. Go."

Lis gave her one last guarded look and dashed out at the corridors.

* * *

 

Servin's face was pale and he eyes were penetrating. He looked at Thorin's family and close friends and felt their distress deep into his heart. Hadn't the abdicated King's speech touched the deepest parts of his heart last night also perchance? He knew it was dishonourable of him to be hiding there, overhearing what was supposed to be a private conversation, but he needed to know. Thorin's speech on the love he had felt for his sister and for his fiancee had rattled his certainty about what was right in the world from the roots. When the meeting ended and Thorin left the room, all the Lords broke out in a heated argument about his abdication, but Servin remained calmly at the sidelines. Looking at everyone, but not seeing anyone apart from the face of his beloved sister and hearing only Thorin's honest words about his actions towards both Siv and Eilin.

The scroll of Thorin's abdication didn't get signed by anyone and it was thrown at the far end of the room by Durar just as Fili was renouncing the Raven Crown with as much fierceness as Thorin had. Servin sat down at one of the chairs overlooking at the Lords heated arguments until most of them decided to bail out with an air of total disarray and perturbation. When he was finally alone, he stood up and picked up both the scroll and the Raven Crown. He opened up the scroll and read meticulously the beautiful writing of the King that spoke of everything he told them face to face that evening. There was a quill right there next to the scroll. He could have been the first one to sign it...no...the second one to sign it, because the Thorin's signature was already on it. This was the chance he had been waiting for, from the first moment he arrived in Erebor. The moment to avenge the unfair death of his sister and the betrayal to her heart. If he placed the second signature on it, then maybe some would follow him soon after. Then Siv's spirit would lay to rest, finally clean of all the pain she has suffered from this man.

His chance was at the tip of that quill, yet he didn't pick it up. He rolled up the scroll and tied the red string around it with religious care. He placed it upright in the middle of the Raven Crown and closed the door behind him. After that he found it utterly useless to either go after the Lords and try to discuss with them, since his thoughts were way too personal and way too painful to share with anyone apart from the abdicated King himself. Also he was unable to return to his rooms and sleep easy after all this. Sleep wouldn't be his friend soon as it seemed. So he made his way back to the throne room in a dire need to see the Arkenstone and contemplate on his own course of actions only to be met by the grim gathering of Thorin's closest friends and family. He should have turned around and pretended deafness. He should have turned around and allowed them the privacy they deserved, but his heart began thudding erratically in his ears as he slowly hid into the shadows. He needed to see...he painfully needed to hear and he wanted to feel...he wanted to feel as hard and as strong as Thorin's solemn words allowed him to feel inside that meeting room after centuries of being numb. So his eyes fell on the participants and instead of playing deaf, he stretched out in order not to lose a single word from them.

Dis was holding a cold cloth upon Dwalin's bloody nape trying to soothe his pain. Apparently everybody in there was having a heated argument also.

"He abdicated? That's impossible! Thorin would have never done such a thing!" Dis cried.

"He gave an official manifesto mother to the delegations and passed me the damned Raven Crown!" Fili grumbled. "Which I won't accept!"

"An abdication no one signed yet!" Dain roared.

Balin humphed. "Are you sure no one signed yet? I thought that Servin would be the first one to sign and rather eagerly. He did everything in his power to stop the unison of the seven families under Thorin."

"I'd rattle that weasel's neck until he dropped dead if he ever dared put his signature in that accursed scroll!" Dain snapped with barely controlled wrath.

"Shouldn't we worry more that Thorin struck unconscious his best friend and now he's gone missing?!" Gloin threw his hands in the air.

"That's what happens when you screw up lives. Your life gets screwed up in turn!" Bofur crossed his arms.

Dis pointed at him. "Stop acting like a judge appointed from Vala Aule for in his name I shall cut your tongue if you speak again of my brother in this ill manner!"

"Princess calm down..." Balin tried.

"Keep this bloody toymaker away from me! My family is falling apart and that midget is caring only about his own personal agenda. Someone get him away from my sight before I do something I regret!" she bellowed and pressed the cloth on Dwalin.

"Gentler...for heaven's sake!" Dwalin hissed and cupped his forehead, trying to get a grip on the dizziness.

"Someone get him out of here!" Dis pointed at Bofur.

Dori grabbed Bofur by the forearm and dragged him away. "Come with me your overgrown dwarfling. People don't need your invaluable insight at this moment, they want your silence!"

"Someone has to address the common people. They are crowding the upper floors demanding answers. Fili you need to speak to them as King..." Balin said.

"I haven't accepted the King's abdication and there is no signature in that damned scroll yet!" Fili retorted heavily and pointed behind him at the meeting room. "I will not address anyone as the new King, get that out of your mind!"

"Address them as a temporary ruler then. Someone needs to calm the people down and Thorin isn't here. It's your job son," Balin said and wiped away several tears from his cheeks.

"What's gotten into Thorin? How could he have done such a thing?" Gloin rubbed his forehead feeling at a total loss.

"We all pushed him to it. Bit by bit. It took centuries to break him, but in the end we all managed it. Servin by his need to avenge his sister, the delegations by their need to have an impeccable ruler under the Arkenstone, his forefathers by their need to mould him as their exact replica, his people by asking him to choose them instead of his heart and last but not least us..." Dwalin's desolate voice spoke and everyone looked at him, except from Dis who was looking at the floor.

"Us?" Balin frowned.

Dwalin looked at him dead in the eyes. "Us brother. We should have stood by his side firmly, not question his every decision. You, me, Bofur, Gloin...everyone. We know what an honourable man he is, we knew he wouldn't fail us. What did you expect him to do I wonder. Disgrace Eilin and seek to sit in that throne no matter what? That's not Thorin. The greatness of his heart wouldn't have allowed him to sit under the Arkenstone even if one person of his court questioned his decisions and it wasn't only one person that questioned them. Forget about the delegations. Even his closest companions failed him. Repeatedly..." Dwalin snarled at his brother.

Balin cupped his chest and closed his teary eyes, feeling the words of his brother piercing him straight in the heart. He held himself up by the arm of the throne he so much coveted for Thorin. A throne that was now empty. The sob that arose from his chest rattled Dis's already burdened emotional state.

She groaned and cupped her mouth. "If I lose him I will die."

Fili rushed over to embrace her. "Nothing is going to happen, mother please. Uncle is not a dwarfling, he's a legendary warrior. No harm shall befall on him, I promise."

"So where is he?!" she howled and it felt like a slap across the face for everyone, including Servin.

"We have to gather a company and send out search parties for him." Oin said solemnly.

"There are search parties already out there." Dwalin said and stood up. He wavered and caught himself on Dis's forearm.

"We need to get out there too!" -Gloin thundered- "What are we doing in here when our brother is possibly in danger?"

"He's right. Let's split up a group and go search for him." Bombur said with a decisive voice.

That is when little Lis pulled Bofur's tunic and tried to pass between him and Dori. "Sir, I need to talk to the prince!"

The pissed off dwarf looked down at the young girl and broke into a smile. "Not now kiddo. We're in the midst of hell. Go away and play. Go..." he shooed her off.

Lis pouted her lip and crossed her arms. "I am not going anywhere! I have important information to give to the prince and the princess! Let me pass!" she said and tried to go past Bofur that was kept at the rear guard by Dori.

"Listen to this cutie." Bofur pursed his lips and looked at a very solemn Dori.

"I am not a cutie! I am the King's apprentice!" her hands became tight fists and she looked angrily at the tall dwarves standing in her way. "Let me pass", she tried again.

Bofur pushed her. "Stand back kiddo. Enough games. We have serious issues here."

Lis humphed and cleared her throat. "I'll show you games mister!" she said and then she stepped on Bofur's boot so hard that the dwarf howled in pain and began hopscotching. She found that moment of confusion ample enough to squeeze through the two dwarves and she ran over the bridge towards Dis. "Ma'am! Ma'am! I've got important news!"

Dis looked up from her son's shoulder. "Lis?"

Lis came to them and grabbed Dis' arm out of breath. "Karunn, Karunn, Karunn, Karunn," she stuttered unable to spit out the words they needed to hear because of her anxiety to do it properly.

"Karunn?" Dain frowned and approached.

Lis shook her head at him and felt at a total loss on seeing this huge dwarf approaching her with an ill will.

Dis came between her cousin and Lis and placed her hand on Dain's broad chest. "Stand down cousin. What about Karunn Lis?"

Lis closed her eyes and inhaled deeply hoping she wouldn't stutter again. "Karunn was the one who found Eilin's baby belt!"

"What?!" the hoarse question came from Dis.

"What baby belt?" Dain looked totally confused.

"Ma'am the woman I found in the forest today, remember? I came to tell you after I left her in the infirmary."

Dis grasped Lis's shoulders. "The one Thorin chastised you over, I remember. What about her my love?"

"She's Eilin's best friend. Rhiannon gave her miss Eilin's belt and lady Karunn tried to kill her! She said lady Karunn found her in the tavern miss Eilin was working in. The F-f-f-f..." Lis facepalmed by her inability to articulate.

"What the hell!?" Dain thundered and pushed past Dis easily. His eyes were burning with wrath. "The Forsaken Inn?!" he grumbled.

Dis embraced Lis protectively.

"Yes it was the Forsaken Inn." Lis said.

Dis felt all the colour draining from her face and Dain did too.

"Oh Mahal..." Dain whispered and took a step back feeling in dire need to take a seat anywhere. His knees had unlocked under him suddenly.

Dis looked up heavily first at Fili that looked bewildered and then at Balin who took several steps back and emptied himself in Thorin's throne close to faint. "Oh...no...what did I do?" Thorin's old advisor whispered.

Then her eyes fell on Dwalin who was trembling from a sudden rush of adrenaline. His eyes were spewing the very fires of Mount Doom.

"Find my brother, before it's too late." Dis stammered towards a petrified Dwalin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * A small easter egg and a tribute to LOR.


	50. Born from Stone

Thorin felt as if he had entered a world where darkness duelled both outside, but also deep inside his soul. The moment he took the first step away from the ruined bridge his life was abandoned on the other side. Here he came abruptly face to face with the dark night of the soul. All the doubts about himself resurfaced like a nightmare in order to consume him. All his seething anger turned quickly into wrath about what happened with Eilin and his remorse became a beast that was showing it's sharp fangs. He gritted his teeth against the vortex of negative emotions that swept over him. Was this what his father had to endure for a century before passing away? How much inner strength did Thrain command in order to sustain this darkness for over a hundred years before perishing to the corruption that ruled this land?

That thought threatened to become his ultimate undoing before he even managed to make a dent into this venomous stronghold. When his fingers secured around the pommels of his swords, he felt their tips touching the edges of the iron walls. He flared them out, needing to create enough noise to alert the filth that occupied this place of his presence. Fragments of rusty metal fell as his swords cut through the ruined walls of these forgotten corridors like butter. As he walked through the dark pathways, heavy sweat caused his thick mane to stick onto his temples, cheeks and neck even though snow was still covering the lands even behind the dark veil. He moved carefully along the narrow corridors and under the destroyed archways which were overwrought with tree roots. The touch of evil that flowed through these ancient elven halls was so tangible, it quickly began saturating his skin. The iron reinforcements around him were full of dried blood and his heavy boots were crushing bones after every deliberate step. Rusty cages were dangling from thick tree branches with human remains still in them and the instruments of torture that were used for the prisoners were spread everywhere around, letting anybody that had the audacity to enter, that this was a foul place of suffering and death.

Thorin ascended one of the several winding staircases that led to the demolished upper floors searching for a sign of his father's remains, or for the filth that camouflaged behind this black shroud, but he found neither. He searched every destroyed room, but saw or heard nothing. There was such thick silence surrounding him that he could only listen to his heavy breathing. After a thorough exploration on the upper floors he decided to return to the lower decks, feeling more discouraged by each passing moment. This place looked, felt and sounded completely deserted. Just as he was getting ready to give up, thinking that maybe Thranduil had been mistaken and this stronghold was indeed empty, he saw the first sign of movement. It was a shadow that passed from the edge of his eyesight so quickly it made his skin break out with goosebumps.

He stopped abruptly and held his breath. When the shadow rushed behind him with a terrifying cackle again, Thorin felt his body then and there becoming battle worthy. His brows clouded and he quickly tread on the heels of the shadow, but when he turned around the corner there was nothing to see. Immediately upon that another shadow swished to his left and he turned sharply only to see emptiness again. His eyes thinned and his lips pulled back to reveal his teeth. "Reveal yourself..." he hissed and struck the walls with his swords letting the deep sound of crumbling metal wake up this place and keep his senses on fire. Feeling cleansed by the noise he created, he fasted his grip around Orcrist and struck the wrecked wall again. The sword got buried between two heavy mason boulders. Thorin pulled it violently and the majority of the wall fell in front of his feet with a rolling sound that echoed into the valley beneath. He followed the debris with his eyes until some rocks stopped under one of the swinging cages. His eyes flared with anger and for some reason he felt drawn closer to it. It's door was closed, but as Thorin pushed it open with the tip of his sword, it creaked ominously inside the oppressive silence. Had his father perchance been imprisoned in this vile instrument of torment?

The shadow rushed once more behind him but this time he caught clear sight of it. This wasn't an orc as he had originally imagined, but threads of frayed clothing that looked almost transparent. His lips parted and his eyes became confused as the apparition vanished into one of the intricate corridors before Thorin had a chance to take a better look at it. He focused on the cage and this time gave it a careful push with his hand. Its rusty creaking made his hair stand on end and woke him up from his stupor. Without warning he lunged at it with uncontrollable anger. He raised Orcrist and slashed the rope that was keeping it aloft. The cage crashed in front of his feet and rolled upon the ruined floor until a rock stopped it from falling over the cliff. Thorin walked up and gave it a stealthy kick that sent it flying off. The sound it made as it tumbled down the stony facade of the stronghold was so immense that now Thorin felt certain that he had alerted not only everyone in Dol Guldur, but the ones that resided in Mirkwood also. "Reveal yourself!" his profound voice boomed across the hills and forests.

Nothing moved.

Thorin heard his breathing loud in his ears and a soft breeze blew his sweaty hair away from his brow, offering him momentarily relief. From the edge of his eyesight he caught the same semi transparent apparition reemerging and charged after it. Radagast had been right, there was only death here. Death for every living being that dared to enter. The words of the brown wizard returned viciously to remind Thorin of how utterly pointless this trip to Dol Guldur had truly been. There was no way he was going to recover his father's remains. He had been consumed by darkness and now Thorin was in danger of having the same thing happen to him. The ones residing behind the black magic didn't need to appear before him and fight. They only needed to keep him there until he slowly diminished like Thrain had. Nobody would be able to find him unless they made the leap of death. Suddenly Thorin was able to understand what had happened to his father and he felt even more heart broken upon that grim realisation. Thorin had acted on the spur of the moment, needing to see his original quest to an honourable end, but the only thing he had managed was to return to the dead. To come back to the void. He was giving up his life for the ghouls of his past, as he had given up his life for them when they had been alive and ruling the Mountain.

Out of nowhere he felt like a fool for wasting his life in this manner.

When he entered this forlorn place he knew he wasn't going to get out alive and yet he still took the leap of death knowing that he was acting upon a virtuous and worthy cause. Now that he was behind the shroud the only thing that was able to brighten up his darkness were his memories of Eilin, but even those ended up in waves of adrenaline filled wrath towards the unjust ending of their relationship. How could he turn back now? Was there a choice for him to leave this empty nefarious stronghold and jump the bridge across towards life this time? Upon that thought he turned and looked at the place he had entered through. He couldn't see the other side of the forest. After the destroyed bridge there was only a pulsating darkness awaiting for him.

His lips turned down as he perceived that he wasn't going to be allowed out so easily. The need to find another way out in order to return back to the only person that meant something to him was dire, but he knew it was probably too late. At that moment with all the dark thoughts strangling his mind and with the bright star of Eilin flickering at the edge of his eyesight, the original need to find the remains of his father began fading away. After a long time of hopeless searching he finally stopped in the middle of an open area and looked around him half dazed. He was trying to sustain against an unholy cloud that he couldn't even begin to fathom, never mind take counter measures against. Something in there was trying to empty him of all thought, of all courage and of all purpose. He stood there in the middle of the opening holding his swords with a lose grip, trying to hold off against the veil that was trying to bring him down to his knees.

What eventually managed that formidable task was a malevolent whisper that filled the air around him and sucked the breath out of his lungs.

_"Broshan gazat, Durin'uk"*_

He kneeled down heavily and winced in confusion. Right there in front of him was a piece of tattered clothing. He let his swords slide out of his palms and reached out for it. His heart was drumming in his ears as he took off his gloves and picked it up. His fingers felt the familiar material and an overwhelming sense of sadness blew him away. He turned it around and his stomach dropped into icy cold water. His eyes turned heart-broken at the sigil of the Longbeards. His chest welled up so quickly that he had to use all his willpower not to moan out loud the pain that awoke instantly in his heart. This was part of Thrain's trousers.

The forces of darkness knew very well how to break the heir of Durin a few moments before revealing themselves.

"Mirdautas vras" **

The voice that spoke behind him this time was guttural, not darkly etherial. The words that fell out of it sounded like rolling thunder. Thorin's fingers tightened around the last part of Thrain protectively and he looked above his shoulder. Orcs were coming up behind him from every direction. Slowly taking up the gap behind him and standing at the landings of the winding staircases at his flanks with their weapons at the ready. He was surrounded. An impending feeling of doom came over him. He placed the sacred piece of Thrain's clothing behind his thick belt and his hands found his swords again.

"So it's war," Thorin stood up. His azure eyes lost their forlorn gleam and sparkled with renewed determination.

"Snaga nar baj lufut"*** one of the larger Orcs snarled at him, showing it's rotten teeth.

"I see no slaves here. Only death," Thorin spoke with a hushed voice. The hairpin at the side of his mouth curled up as his blood flowed with a fire never forgotten. "This is for my father," he raised his weapons and ran up to his enemies with fierceness incomparable.

He embraced his fate with every strike, counterstrike, parry or attack. With every slash of either of his swords a fresh gash of black blood stained his clothes. With every assault the red film covering his eyes became even more dense until he was unable to see anything else apart from his foes being cut down like grass. Every single agonising thought that had occupied his mind after his separation with Eilin got wiped out under the overbearing need to kill, to take out all his built up frustrations upon his enemies. The demand to avenge his father.

And kill he did...

...everyone that approached him no matter where they were. Not a single sword was able to touch him as he slew his enemies with an ease that he wouldn't have believed possible so close to his recent demise. He left body parts and quivering half dead orcs in his path not even knowing where madness began and reason ended. His hands and clothes got covered by black blood and the only thing that was still bright in this darkness were his eyes that were not beautiful anymore, but wild with fury unmatched.

Not a single axe was able to fall down on him without returning back to it's owner's head, throat or torso with malevolent intentions. No war hammer was able to crash him down without turning against another orc close by and pulverising their body. The more he annihilated the enemies of darkness singlehandedly the more they raged war on him...and the more violent he became towards them, until in the end the whole opening had been cleared up and the forces that were patiently waiting at the flanks started marching towards him. Betting on his inevitable exhaustion as the easiest way to his demise, but the heir of Durin proved to be far more resilient than they had been expecting.

He cleared up those hoards with the same ease and no visible signs of fatigue. So many dead bodies were spread around that neither him nor his enemies were stepping on ground anymore, but his victory was truly for naught. When the attack of the Orcs became too weak for comfort, Khamûl along with two Nazgul materialised from the statues that surrounded the clearing and closed in on Thorin.

Instantly the Orcs retreated with shrieks of terror. Thorin lowered his swords and gazed around him out of breath. When he saw the Fell Riders approaching him with their Morgul blades raised he knew it was the end. He looked straight into the blackness and his skin crawled with the first drop of fear, yet he used the adrenaline that was rushing through his body to steel himself. With renewed courage he raised both swords and got ready to attack. This time though he was not dealing with orcs, but with the lieutenants of the Necromancer, the undead. He wasn't capable of killing them. No man could. Knowing that this was a lost fight before it even began, he gritted his teeth and attacked with the same fierceness only to be parried with an ease he had been half expecting.

The strength of an Orcish hand was a mere nothing compared to the blunt force that fell on him time and time again from the Black Riders. It took so much strength for him to parry all three of them, that soon enough his arms became heavily painful. Morgul blades fell on him from every direction and he kept their poisoned tips clear off his body with more difficulty as time progressed. He lasted way longer than anyone would have ever expected after his courageous fight against the countless Orcs and the fact that he was still not yet fully healed from his mortal wound.

He lasted longer than he would have ever expected from himself and hope was not extinguished in him that he could finally prevail against all odds, until a well orchestrated triple attack ended all hope for him. He parried the two blades that fell at his flanks, but the third poisoned weapon remained free as the Black Easterling stood imposingly in front of him. He had no way to parry that attack, not unless he released the hold he had on the other two. He looked with calm decisiveness as the dark Lieutenant brought his blade down and released the hold he had on one Morgul blade in order to cause some damage on Khamûl before perishing. Orcrist slew off part of Khamûl's hand and sent the Shadow of the East screeching away from Thorin. The Nazgul that had just been released found the opportunity to deliver a direct hit straight into Thorin's old wound, sending him to the ground with a howl of pain.

Thorin wrapped his arms protectively around his bleeding wound and saw through the fog that had captured his mind the two Nazgul standing over him with their blades raised above his head. Inside that absence of any light the image of Eilin came into his mind and every single thought came ablaze for him. His eyes filled up with tears of repentance. He didn't mind dying at that moment but he was filled with remorse that he wouldn't get to see Eilin one last time. Caress her rosy cheeks without caring about her supposed betrayal. He wouldn't be able to run his fingers through the softness of her long hair while longing to believe that she had told him the truth about the baby. He wanted to cry out to the skies his plead for forgiveness for sending her away with his words and actions. He should have stood by her side against the whole world if needed. He was yearning to see her one last time and confess that he never stopped loving her...he loved her down to his last breath. Thorin at that final moment before death, felt as if the very deadlocks of his soul had just erupted. His last wish to see Eilin before he died singlehandedly broke apart every single stone that had been tied around his shins with those invisible chains for centuries. His azure eyes came ablaze with a fire that couldn't be subdued by anyone in Middle Earth, except from one...

His One...

...and wasn't it sad that this blazing fire was about to flicker and die by the emissaries of darkness? He saw the blades falling and got ready to take the inevitable strike when another blade stopped that grim progress. Sparks of hot metal washed over his face and hair. His eyes looked at the sword that stopped both Morgul blades and read the runes on it's shiny body.

_Black Blade..._

The sword he forged with such skill had now saved his life. His brows wavered in confusion. When the Elven King pushed back the Black Riders Thorin felt at the edge of consciousness as the poison from the blades of darkness was already sipping through his blood quickly. He was unable to tighten his grip around Orcrist. His fingers felt too weak, even though he didn't feel cold. He saw through a haze the elven hoards sweeping through the ruins of black magic. He marvelled at the thin elegant outline of the Elven King as he fought valiantly against the Black Riders, but didn't get to see much of anything else as his eyes closed down without asking for his permission.

* * *

"King Thorin?" It was the soft voice of Tauriel that brought him back slowly, but it sounded cloaked...like it was coming from afar. She was chanting elvish words of ancient wisdom and something was burning through his old wound...That image felt so familiar and yet so different. He remembered seeing Gandalf leaning above him as he was chanting ancient words of magic up in Ravenhill, but back then the pain from his wound had been so mind numbing that he remembered nothing else. Now he saw clearly the soot and dirt all around Tauriel's face. He gazed deeply into her beautiful eyes and looked at her gentle lips muttering the elvish words and instantly knew why his boy had fallen in love with her. A small smile of sadness appeared on his lips and tears pooled in his eyes. He felt the burning pain that was lingering above his old wound slowly retreating along with his dizziness. Every muffled sound returned and along with them her voice that now sounded sonorous right over his head.

"Can you hear me?" Tauriel cleared his sweaty hair away from his face.

He groaned. "I can hear you, but this is burning me...take it away..." he tried to push her hand.

"It's Asëa Aranion. It will help you with the poison. Let me use it on you before your wound becomes worse." Tauriel rejoined calmly.

Thorin humphed and then closed his eyes with a pained hiss. "For Mahal's sake Tauriel I am fine. Just pull it away...as if I didn't have enough worries already," he muttered.

"Worries you brought down onto yourself," it was Thranduil's quiet voice that made Thorin reopen his eyes.

Tauriel didn't retreat. She remained above him with her hands on his wound, working quietly.

"Well I didn't intend to survive long enough in order to feel your lieutenant forcing her healing powers on me." Thorin spat and glared at her.

Tauriel smirked and shook her head, obviously not intimidated by him.

"Healing powers you are lucky to have at your disposal so readily," Thranduil raised his brow.

Thorin leaned his head back and covered his eyes with his forearm.

"Now please stay silent until I finish, it won't be long," Tauriel looked up to his face briefly and then resumed.

Thorin hated the fact that he was actually doing what she was commanding him, but he had to admit that the more she worked on his wound, the better he felt. When finally she finished she smiled. "It's done. I think you'd better lay down for a while longer, just to make sure the dizziness is completely gone." She advised.

Thorin ignored her and pushed up with his hand coming to a sitting position. He looked down at the torn royal tunic and saw his old wound. Above it there was a much smaller gash that was pumping blood slowly. It wasn't deep enough to be life threatening, yet there was black residues around it from the poison of the Black Rider's blade. Thorin shuddered and pressed it firmly, needing the pain to keep him there, to make him feel alive.

The pale smooth hand that was extended to him drew his attention. He reached out and grabbed Thranduil's forearm and the Elven King pulled him up easily.

Thorin staggered slightly, but when Tauriel tried to steady him he pushed her away. "I can manage. You've taken enough liberties as it is."

She raised her hands and pulled back. "Forgive me...forgot all about dwarven stubbornness."

Thorin's gave her a silent forewarning, but it was Thranduil that drew the King's attention away from the she-elf.

"Suicide mission?" he said coldly.

Thorin raised his brow. "It was until you ruined it. What are you doing here?"

Thranduil cleared up his sword with a cloth before sheathing it. "I answered your call for help." He looked down at Thorin and raised his brow also.

"I didn't call for your help," Thorin frowned.

"Radagast related things to me differently." Thranduil said unemotionally.

Thorin tilted his head. "Oh, I see..."

Thranduil pursed his lips. "Aiwendil lied?"

Thorin closed his eyes in defeat. "He didn't lie, he just adjusted reality slightly."

A ghostly smile appeared on Thranduil's lips.

Thorin gazed at the Elven King steadily. "Thank you for your timely arrival, even though your interference hadn't been part of my original plans."

"We are allies now Mountain King and allies assist each other." the Elven King rejoined calmly.

Thorin smiled thoughtfully. "That we are."

"So...a suicide mission and your kin is nowhere to be seen. I thought they'd care more about their King. That it wouldn't have been so easy to go undetected by your ferocious guarddogs, especially on such a dangerous quest." Thranduil raised his brow and looked around.

"Oh, don't start now that you've made such a valiant effort to sound nice." Thorin looked down at his wound and pressed it in order to cause more of the poisoned blood to spill out of his body.

"Why didn't they use your crows to find out your location? They are always circling above Mirkwood anyway." Thranduil smiled slightly.

"Crows listen only to Roac or me and we are both away." Thorin raised his brow.

Thranduil looked at the ruins Thorin created and the carpet of dead bodies. "You really laid them to waste. You came here with dark intentions."

"I came here to find my father's remains." Thorin rebuked indifferently.

"Did you find them?" Thranduil looked at him with mild interest.

He shook his head and traced the inside of his belt making sure that the last piece of Thrain's clothing was still there. "Unfortunately no."

"After our joined attack on this stronghold the Necromancer will get informed by the Black Riders that the alliance of the North between Elves and Dwarves is true." Thranduil's eyes thinned.

"I find that thought rather encouraging." Thorin sat down heavily on a broken boulder.

"We have become an even greater menace to him. He will not leave us alone after this." Thranduil resumed.

"He is not going to leave alone anyone in Middle Earth that stands in his way. If you wanted a peaceful hiding place you shouldn't have come here today." Thorin rebuked.

Thranduil's voice held a shade of warning. "That brashness was totally uncalled for. I proved my intentions today, pretty adequately."

Thorin sighed deeply and leaned his forehead on his hand. "Indeed you did, forgive me."

Thranduil inclined his head, but remained silent until Tauriel came over. She kneeled next to Thorin and tried to pull away his hand, but Thorin looked up at her and resisted.

"You need to put these leaves on the wound and keep them there. Let me help you." Tauriel tried.

"I feel very well I assure you. You've done enough, thank you." Thorin rejoined stubbornly and tried to take them from her hands.

"The strike of a Morgul blade is not easy on the body. This will eventually render you useless. You will suffer hallucinations and high fever and I rather doubt you wish for something like that after all that you have in your hands right now King Oakenshield." She said quietly. Nevertheless she pulled back, respectful of his personal space.

Thorin raised his brow at Thranduil. "Are all your commanders so forthcoming?"

"Only their leader," Thranduil raised his brow meaningfully.

A small smile appeared on Thorin's lips and he turned back to Tauriel. "Congratulations young lady. You're worth it."

She pressed her lips and showed him the plants. "Thank you, now can I please assist you with this? I used them on Kili when he got wounded at Esgaroth, remember?"

Thorin's face fell, but he held her thoughtful gaze for several moments before he allowed his eyes to glide down to her neck. Kili's rune stone was hanging there from a silver string that shown bright. He removed his hand and showed her his palm. "Give them to me, I will do it."

She bowed gently and offered him the leaves. He took care to place them upon his wound and then he tore a piece of his tunic in order to keep them in place. "Thank you."

Tauriel offered him a sweet smile he didn't see. "Believe me, it was a pleasure."

Thranduil looked around him. "We didn't have any loses and the stronghold is clear now, but I cannot promise on it remaining like this for long. Unless we demolish it to the ground the Necromancer will find a way to send back his forces of darkness to occupy it, sooner or later."

Thorin rubbed his forehead. "You shall be here to counterstrike those attempts. I worry not."

"Where are you going to be then?" Thranduil crossed his hands calmly behind his back.

"I don't know yet..." Thorin's voice broke and betrayed all the gathered emotional fatigue he felt inside.

Thranduil remained silent, waiting patiently.

"...but the alliance shall sustain. I have given the new Mountain King all the signed orders that open up the roads between our realms for trades, military operations and exchange of services as promised. The Longbeard rule of Erebor shall continue to uphold this alliance, on my word of honour. Fear not."

Thranduil shook his head dismissively. "Unfortunately I have to decline. I became the ally of Thorin the second, otherwise known as Oakenshield. I will not pledge allegiance to any other Dwarven King even though he might belong to your family. Your abdication is not accepted by the Elven realm of Mirkwood."

Thorin looked up at him truly spent. "I really don't know if I have the strength to argue with you right now, but unfortunately my abdication is already in the hands of the Mountain King and I am on my way out of here."

Tauriel looked worriedly from one man to the other.

"Not accepted I am afraid." Thranduil insisted.

Thorin shook his head. "You are much wiser than this. I am mortal. I could die any minute. I cannot live thousands of years like you. You will have to continue this alliance with the Kings that will take over Erebor in the future eventually. You cannot avoid this."

"Until you pass from this world, I deal only with you. It was not Radagast who convinced me to stand by your side today King Oakenshield. It was your conduct towards me personally. You gave me back the only treasure I had left from my beloved wife. You didn't trick me, you didn't try to gain anything more than what you deserved out of the exchange. You were honest and true. That is what convinced me to become your ally. So as long as you live, I only deal with you for whatever concerns this alliance and the intermingling of our races. I trust no one else in your stead." Thranduil rejoined coldly.

Thorin felt his eyes tearing up and he looked away quickly. "You are making this very hard for me. I am not returning to Erebor, no matter that your words are touching me deeply."

Thranduil lifted up his brow calmly. "I cannot stop you from departing, but I can stop any other interaction between our people until you return."

Thorin pushed himself up and girded his swords carefully. "I cannot change your mind, can I?"

Thranduil's answer was a majestic look of denial.

"You are even more stubborn than me," Thorin smiled reflectively.

Thranduil raised his brow.

Thorin felt his body in pain and his soul torn apart, but the decision had already been made in his heart and it was irrevocable. "Don't do this to our people. We have a chance to change history." His eyes burned with an intensity that the Elven King felt. "Today we have accomplished something significant in these ancient lands of Black Sorcery. We have given a message of hope and unity against the dark forces of the East. Don't ruin that just because of me. This is a folly."

"I cannot change what is set in stone. For me the alliance between our races exists only if you are sitting on the throne of Erebor." Thranduil rejoined calmly.

"You are allowing victory to the darkness if you act this unwisely," Thorin warned.

"It is not me that is doing this, but you." Thranduil rebuked hard.

Thorin's eyes thinned upon the Elven King. "How am I doing such a thing?"

"By denying your right to the throne," Thranduil tilted his head. "You think the Necromancer will fear the new Mountain King more than you? He tried to diminish you repeatedly and you prevailed. It is the joined forces of the heir of Durin" -he pointed at Thorin elegantly- "and the Elven realm that he fears. If you place another King on that throne the Necromancer shall rejoice. He will try to strike Erebor again in order to map the weaknesses of it's new King. You wish your kin to perish so soon after accomplishing such greatness in the Lonely Mountain?"

Thorin felt his heart rumbling with anger. "Don't think I cannot see through this manipulation."

"I know you can, but this is not a lie I speak off. You know it is true. Your existence worries the Necromancer, that is why he sought to get rid of you on various occasions. You laid the Gundabad Orc to ruins...twice...you prevailed over all his attacks, you reclaimed the golden mountain and now you attacked singlehandedly one of his most important strongholds from a strategic point of view and wounded Khamûl. If you retreat into the shadows, the shadows will come slowly after your people and consequently after mine." Thranduil continued unfazed.

"The current King is an impeccable commander and one of my bravest soldiers. He can hold his own against the enemies that will fall onto Erebor," Thorin frowned.

"I fear your nephew won't be able to keep up with your legacy." Thranduil's eyes thinned.

Thorin swallowed heavily. "Time will force you to work alongside other Dwarven Kings and they will prove much more resilient against the Necromancer than I ever was." Thorin rebuked angrily.

"Let time prove those words then. Till that happens, I deal only with you." Thranduil tilted his head.

Thorin rubbed his forehead dejected. "I am getting nowhere."

Thranduil looked around at the ruins. "No you are not and I need to recruit my soldiers and count our losses."

Thorin sighed and moved towards the broken bridge. "And I need to depart."

Thranduil nodded silently. "Do you intend to return?"

Thorin shook his head. "I don't know anything yet."

Tauriel brought Thorin's horse that she had led above the gap shortly before the Elven attack, and smiled down at him. "I will wish you an untroubled journey back to her." She offered him the reins.

Thorin's lips cracked a small smile. "Thank you for escorting her up to the Misty Mountains. I shall never forget what you did."

Tauriel crossed her arms and looked at King Thranduil. "I was under orders."

Thorin looked up at the Elven King and a faded smile of gratefulness dawned upon his features that Thranduil recognised and reciprocated with a kind tilt of the head.

"May your travel be unweary. Until your return I will refrain from dealing with your kin. I shall hope you will reconsider your abdication once your heart settles, Mountain King." He gave him the title that currently Thorin didn't wish for.

"May the blessings of Mahal be with you and your kin. I shall not forget what you did for me today." He rejoined solemnly.

Thranduil inclined his head elegantly.

Right at that moment no Elven alliance or Dwarven unity under the King's gem could stop him from reaching Eilin and making sure she was alright. He knew that nothing could stop him from holding her once more in his arms. He wanted to beg her forgiveness and embrace her and the child in her with every single morsel of his poor soul. His mind and heart were ready to believe in her love for him and forget the pain and despair they've given to each other. It was with that thought that he set his horse into a trot.

* * *

Thorin decided to take the men-I-naugrim, the old Dwarven Road their ancestors used for their trades instead of the Elven path. He pushed on quickly, not addressing his worries about the lost paths of that road or the fact that in its most dark places it was used by goblins. He didn't intend to let this old dwarven road go to waste now that he had the upper hand with the Elves of Mirkwood and Thranduil's magic was not touching them anymore. He needed this path to the west free and the trading routes of the Northmen open to his kin. When he was out of the western exit he marked several trees intending to offer advice to Fili with a message, on how to use this old road in order to help the trades between Erebor and the west flourish.

After several hours of riding he finally decided to camp for the evening in order to rest himself and his horse amidst a cluster of trees close to Beorn's hut. He used some clean water to wipe away the fresh wound of the Morgul blade under his chest, replaced Tauriel's leaves on it and changed his tunic. He didn't even want to hunt in order to get something to eat. He was too tired to do anything. He simply wanted to clench his thirst and sleep for a while in order to gain the strength he needed to resume his arduous journey. He leaned back onto his satchel and his mind flew back and forth between the battle of Dol Guldur, his dire need to see Eilin again and the need to touch his father's last token.

He reached down and pulled it from his belt. The moment he looked at the sigil of his family his eyes teared up and he run his fingers over it. This wasn't the closure he had wished for his father, but he had nothing else to hold onto. This was the last piece the Necromancer allowed him to have of his family. He placed it into his wide palm and closed his eyes needing to rest his weary head.

He had almost drifted off to sleep when a soft rustling in the bushes behind alerting him. His eyes flew open and he grasped both swords. His fingers tightened upon the pommels and his reaction was so quick and so aggressive that Dwalin was unable to stay Thorin's hand and his war hammer fell onto the ground with a loud thump.

"I surrender you troll's armpit, stop!" Dwalin cried and raised his arms in the air as the Orcrist's tip balanced dangerously close to his throat.

Thorin inhaled sharply and pulled back. "Do you have a death wish you bloody idiot?"

Dwalin pushed Thorin's swords aside and lifted up his hair. "Look at this!" -he pointed at his nape that bore a black bruise the size of a fist- "You almost killed me once already. Calm down for Mahal's holy beard!"

Thorin gritted his teeth and sheathed his swords. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you! We went to Dol Guldur and the Elves told us which road you took. Tauriel in particular was certain as to your direction! What was going through your head when you rendered me unconscious in order to storm that stronghold alone, tell me?!" Dwalin snapped.

Thorin shook his head and turned the other way. "Go back home, there is nothing you can do to help me now."

"Apparently there was nothing I could do to help you back in Erebor either! You abdicated and then you rushed off into a suicide mission!" Dwalin's eyes glimmered with fury.

Thorin looked back at him coldly.

Dwalin huffed, trying to calm down. "Why are you out here now? Where are you going?" He finally asked after several moments of tense silence.

"I am going to the only person that matters to me most in the whole of Middle Earth," Thorin's voice was steely.

Dwalin frowned. "Eilin..."

Thorin's jawline flexed. "Nothing matters for me anymore. Only her."

Dwalin pressed his lips. "You came to your senses finally, didn't you?"

"I was a fool. A damned fool who sent his treasure away..." Thorin gritted his teeth, truly mad at himself for failing his beloved.

Dwalin's shoulders slouched. "Oh Mahal...this isn't going to go down well with you."

"What isn't?" Thorin looked up sharply.

"Wait..." Dwalin raised his hands.

Thorin exhaled truly annoyed. "Don't anger me more than I already am...Get on with it..."

Dwalin sighed deeply and shook his head. "I've got news for you."

Thorin's fists tightened. "What news?"

Dwalin reached out and grasped Thorin's forearm. "News that concern the paternity of the child."

Thorin's iron grip came out and clasped him back violently. He pulled Dwalin up to his face. "I don't care about the paternity of that child! You understand? If I am the father then I made my One pay for Siv's lies and deception. If that child is mine then I punished Eilin for my dark past. If it isn't then I will adopt it. I need to go to her. Nothing else matters."

Dwalin wiped away a stray tear that ran down his eyes. "Will you please listen to me, for this is serious."

Thorin's lips turned down and he observed his friend's countenance austerely for several moments before nodding. "Speak."

Dwalin spoke reluctantly. "Do you remember the woman that Lis found in the forest?"

"The old hag?" Thorin frowned.

Dwalin nodded. "She's not old. In fact she's a few years younger than your One."

Thorin's throat suddenly narrowed. "A few years younger?"

Dwalin pressed his lips.

Thorin pulled him closer. "What's her name?" He tilted his head with a feeling of perturbation numbing down his hands.

Dwalin closed his eyes. "Rhiannon..."

The colour drained from Thorin's face, but his fingers became iron pincers around Dwalin's arm making him wince in pain. "Eilin's friend...?"

Dwalin nodded quietly.

"What was she doing in Mirkwood Dwalin?" The lower Thorin's voice fell the more terrifying it sounded.

"She escaped the clutches of Karunn...hoping to reveal everything that happened to the King of Erebor."

Thorin's jawline flexed. "Eilin's baby belt..."

Dwalin shook his head quickly. "It was given to Karunn by Rhiannon back at the Forsaken Inn...Karunn's unexpected journey west had been..."

"Adrâb!"**** Thorin's voice thundered into the valley and Dwalin held his breath.

Suddenly Thorin's fingers opened up to release Dwalin and his heart stopped as the world collapsed around him in a heap of ruins. He didn't need anymore clarifications from Dwalin. He didn't need to find a way to connect Nyrthrasir with Karunn, he knew they were together in this. The sound of his world caving in was so loud that the voice of Dwalin didn't penetrate through. His eyes gazed lost somewhere above Dwalin's shoulder and Beorn's hut, while his extremities became unbearably cold. He didn't feel Dwalin's strong arm reaching out to steady him as his legs turned wobbly.

"Eilin's child..." he whispered with what seemed to be the last breath in his chest.

"Rhiannon's words are proving..." Dwalin didn't have the strength to continue as he was witnessing his friend quickly breaking apart.

"It's mine..." Thorin's breath suddenly returned with unbelievable force and he exhaled violently.

Dwalin came behind him and wrapped his strong arms around Thorin's shoulders. "Seeing you like this I don't want to deliver the most important news."

Thorin felt lost trying to understand what Dwalin had just told him. When he decided to flee from Dol Guldur and go find his One he already had come to the resolution that he believed her, yet the realisation that the child in her could be his, hadn't truly settled in. "More news...?" he asked bewildered.

"I led the brigade to Dol Guldur in order to help you when Radagast notified us of your position. Roac searched for you endlessly, but when he was unable to locate you behind the dark veil he came to Erebor. He spoke with Dis." Dwalin said carefully.

"Roac is away...I've sent him away...how can he be here?" Thorin tried to look above his shoulder at Dwalin, but his friend kept a tight hold at him. "Let me go you fool!" Thorin thundered.

Dwalin's grip didn't relent. "I won't let you go, for you will collapse..." he whispered.

"Why did Roac leave Eilin?!" he said and desperately tried to get rid of Dwalin who didn't budge.

"He returned with bleak news."

Thorin felt his chest contracting in anguish and this time Dwalin was unable to keep his hold on him. Thorin turned around out of breath and pale as a ghost. He felt the pain down his stomach reawakening brutally. The pain he had felt upon waking up from that confusing dream. The pain that told him that something serious had befallen his precious. "What happened to her?" he stammered and searched eagerly Dwalin's face.

Dwalin reached out and grasped his forearm. "She's bleeding."

"What?" Thorin's voice diminished.

"That's the only thing Roac said." Dwalin looked at Thorin's eyes intensely.

It was as if a ferocious fist wrapping tightly around Thorin's stomach and squeezed it so hard that he felt nauseous. A rush of adrenaline numbed his hands and legs and send a wave of goosebumps up to his nape and head. "Oh Mahal help me..." he whispered not knowing which direction to bolt to as he was momentarily rendered paralysed.

"Thorin, please, stop for a moment. Breathe...we don't know what happened exactly. We need to get to her first..." Dwalin's tries to calm him down were useless.

"Oh heavens please help me...the child..." Thorin whispered and leaned over gasping for air. Needing to find somewhere to hold on to as he lost the whole world around him.

Dwalin rushed and wrapped his arms around Thorin's shaking shoulders from the back again, wanting to keep him aloft. "Steady...breathe! For the sake of life open your damned mouth and breathe!" Dwalin bellowed when he heard Thorin's throat wheezing.

Thorin was trying desperately to pull in air, but his body was denying him. This new pain was beyond anything he had ever felt in his life, beyond any fortitude. "My child...my child..." he gasped and tears of agony released from his eyes as he looked lost into the darkness, not knowing where reason lay anymore.

Dwalin gritted his teeth and pressed his arms around Thorin's body who was trembling beyond any control. Trying to stop him from falling apart. "Please breathe, listen to my voice, Thorin listen to me!"

"My child..." -Thorin frowned and felt his body shutting down- "...I...killed...my ...child..."

Dwalin bumped his forehead at Thorin's nape, wishing to bring him back in some manner. "We don't know if the child is dead! Stay with me for heaven's sake!"

Thorin's eyes closed and as he kneeled down an inhuman cry of woe and torment erupted from his mouth which echoed through the forests of Mirkwood. It rolled like thunder above it's enchanted pathways and reached the stonewalls of Erebor, reverberating faintly on the valley of his Kingdom before dying out. The passage of his agonising scream woke up animals and Elves, Dwarves and Men, but not Thorin whose world faded away.

He blew out like a candle and then there was only darkness.

* * *

It took Dwalin the whole day to bring back Thorin whose only words as he was coming in and out of reality included Eilin's name and his dead child. No matter how many times Dwalin tried to reassure him that Roac didn't know if Eilin had lost the baby Thorin remained unresponsive. Just when Dwalin was about to put him back on his horse and lead his half unconscious body back to Erebor, Thorin finally opened up his eyes, but that was about it. He meticulously averted them from Dwalin and didn't respond to any question. He took Dwalin's offer for a drink and some food which was pathetic in his bodyguard's opinion and then tried to mount his horse in order to continue his trek, but collapsed from exhaustion, both physical and mental.

"You need to rest before we try to get back to her," Dwalin tried to shake Thorin back to reason.

No response as Thorin attempted to mount again, but his legs gave way under him.

"You can barely stand!" Dwalin pulled his arm, but Thorin broke free.

It was only the next words that stopped Thorin's weak tries to get back on the road. "Please have mercy on me, I need to rest." Dwalin said quietly.

Dwalin's well being was the only thing that convinced Thorin to follow Dwalin to Beorn's house. The weather at this side of Mirkwood was milder, but still the snow was falling thick when Dwalin dismounted and knocked on the chieftain's door to ask for shelter. Thorin remained on his horse wrapped in his heavy coat with the hood drawn down over his eyes. When the door opened the recognition was clear on Beorn's eyes. He pulled back allowing Dwalin to come through and his piercing gaze fell on Thorin's stiff bearing as he entered the house. Beorn offered them ample food by the fire and a place to rest. Dwalin took both, Thorin none. He didn't even take off his coat as Dwalin struggled to convince him with endless patience to take a single bite.

Thorin didn't utter a single word for the whole duration of their repose at that house. He slept little and ate nothing. The only moment he got animated was when he asked with an empty voice for some parchment and a quill. He sat in front of Beorn's large table and wrote a few words. He sighed his name and then gave it to Dwalin with strict orders for the ravens to deliver it to Fili.

After that Thorin fell completely silent and darkly unresponsive for the reminder of their journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Welcome, Durin's heir.
> 
> ** It is a good day to kill.
> 
> *** Slaves don't make war.
> 
> **** Stop!


	51. Little drops of heaven

* * *

It was ten days later and at the end of Bagshot Row Bilbo's home was settling down for the night. The rain outside was beating against the windows relentlessly as it had been doing for the last four days. Bilbo's small office was occupied with several scripted and drawn pages. Instead of working on them though he was musing at the raindrops that were sailing down his windowpane. Gandalf was sitting in one of the armchairs in front of the fireplace. Enjoying the warmth of the fire and the soothing tapping of the rain on the roof.

"Do you have any more Toby?" Gandalf asked quietly.

Bilbo looked above his shoulder inattentively and winced. "You've finished all of it already?"

Gandalf flicked one shoulder. "It's one of the best batches I have ever tasted my good man. Now bring over some more."

Bilbo got off his stool and tightened the belt around his warm housecoat. He went to a chest and took out a small pouch. Then he walked to Gandalf and handed it over. "You had to stop me just as I was getting into the flow of things, didn't you?"

Gandalf smirked. "I didn't see you getting into the flow of anything. You were out woolgathering. What are you up to? New story?"

Bilbo smiled and sat down on his stool again. He picked up his quill and began drawing the Dwarven runes of Thror's map he had copied hurriedly back in Erebor, onto a clean page. "Yes, my adventures with Thorin's company."

"I figured that one already, even though it's not very wise to begin writing a story that hasn't finished yet." Gandalf raised his brow.

Bilbo twisted his lips. "I think my part in this story has finished."

Gandalf shook his head. "I don't think so. You've got the main character's most prized possession in one of your rooms right now."

Bilbo raised his finger. "I have a long way to go to reach that part of the story."

Gandalf smiled. "And I am sure many more interesting things will happen in between. Fresh material to add as you go along."

Bilbo crossed his arms. "I hope that they are going to be good things from now on."

Gandalf lit his pipe and inhaled deeply. "That is something no one can foretell my dear Bilbo, but your story with Thorin Oakenshield up to this point hasn't been too bad."

Bilbo's face fell. "Oh, come on, are you serious? We scraped shoulders with the grim reaper repeatedly!"

Gandalf raised his brow. "Well, we had a few close calls."

Bilbo pressed his lips testily. "Few close calls? We've lived through a bloody nightmare! Almost a tragedy!"

Gandalf tilted his head calmly. "Almost, I agree. I believe we are rather lucky to have experienced this adventure exactly as it unfolded in our timeline."

Bilbo looked up and frowned. "What do you mean?"

Gandalf leaned back and inhaled the smoke deeply allowing it to relax him. "I have a feeling my dear man that there could have been many truly catastrophic outcomes from this adventure if given the chance."

Bilbo sighed. "As if Eilin's condition was not scary enough, or Thorin escaping death so many times, or the fact that he decided to give up the throne he worked so hard for in the first place...Those aren't enough calamities for you?"

"It could have been much worse," Gandalf wised.

Bilbo shook his head dismissively. "Says the man that feared so much everything about the Northern Alliance."

Gandalf inclined his head. "Says the man that feels secure enough that the alliance Oakenshield created will last through whoever sits on that throne eventually. Nevertheless we could have had much grimmer results out of his famous stubbornness."

Bilbo smiled. "I don't even want to imagine..."

Gandalf leaned back and closed his eyes. "The flow of events that seem so certain for us can be torn apart only too easily Bilbo Baggins by just a single different decision at any given time. Thorin Oakenshield could have died in the battle of Azanulbizar not giving us a chance to ever meet him or maybe by the cleaver of the defiler up in Ravenhill along with both his nephews. Maybe he could have died before even making it to the Lonely Mountain, or he could have been denied the opportunity to start the quest for Erebor because Smaug never existed. Eilin could have never been born, thus denying the Mountain King to meet his true One. So many timelines...so many loose threads floating free, but now in this world we live in only one took up roots. The one you are getting ready to script." Gandalf pointed at Bilbo's pages.

Bilbo raised both brows. "Hearing all these other possible outcomes, I begin to feel thankful indeed..."

Gandalf tilted his head with a careful smile. "You should."

Bilbo looked at his hands thoughtfully. "Gandalf you do know that none of these events would have come to pass, hadn't you intervened so timely to save Thorin's life. So you are not only an amazing fireworks master, but also a master plotter of future events."

"Something that was never agreeable with that headstrong Dwarf Lord. Now let us smoke and be merry. Tis a lovely evening." -Gandalf gave a quick look at the corridor that led to the inner rooms- "Little lady asleep?"

Bilbo tried to shake off the stupor that Gandalf had placed him in. "Yes, she needs to rest. She's still not fully recovered yet."

Gandalf pursed his lips. "She went through a lot of hardship. I am glad that Lady Galadriel called me to Rivendell when she did and gave me the opportunity to go through your home."

Bilbo sighed thoughtfully. "We are all thankful for that."

"So have you thought of a name for your new book?" Gandalf looked at the open pages on the desk in front of Bilbo.

Bilbo thought long and hard before answering "The Hobbit!"

"For someone whose imagination is so wild, you lack on the title department." Gandalf rebuked caustically.

Bilblo frowned. "Fine...then how about -An unexpected journey?"

Gandalf smiled. "That's a bit better. Now take care not to settle down upon your stool too much, because we might have visitors soon."

Bilbo looked above his shoulder with a frown. "At this hour and in this weather...who?"

Gandalf leaned forth and rested his elbows on his knees. "I hear crows cawing outside..."

* * *

It was in the dead of night that Thorin and Dwalin dismounted in front of Bilbo's home. Thorin raised his fist and began banging so fiercely on the circular door that it rattled upon its hinges. Dwalin reached up and restraining him with great difficulty.

"Enough! You are going to bring the bloody door down!" Dwalin grumbled.

"I'll bring the whole house down if needed!" Thorin rebuked furiously. He pulled his arm free and resumed his ferocious rapping.

"There are lights inside. Give him a chance to come to the door for Mahal's sake!" Dwalin tried to calm down his friend, something that he had been trying to do every since they began this accursed trek to the Shire.

Thorin raised his fist to start a fresh series of abuse towards the door when it finally opened up. Thorin and Dwalin turned simultaneously and looked at Bilbo who stood in front of them like a statue. He was trying to figure out if they had jumped out of the pages of his story and materialised in front of his home or if they were truly there.

"Thorin?" he stammered.

The King immediately got animated when he heard Bilbo's voice. He stormed inside without waiting for an invitation. "Where is she?!"

Bilbo tried to stop him. "Wait Thorin..."

Thorin completely ignored Bilbo who was trailing behind him and raised his eyes at Gandalf who was gazing down at him calmly. "Mithrandir..." he hissed and his eyes thinned angrily.

Gandalf smiled. "Here comes the tempest...Welcome King Thorin."

"I am not the Mountain King anymore." Thorin rejoined vehemently.

Gandalf raised his brow calmly. "I didn't call you Mountain King, but King Thorin."

Thorin scowled at the wizard. "It's one and the same."

Gandalf opened his mouth to retort, but Thorin rebuked assertively. "Not another word from you."

Gandalf sighed patiently and leaned against the wall. "Wouldn't dream of it...King Thorin."

Thorin raised his brow at Gandalf in forewarning and after seeing no reaction he turned to Bilbo. "Show me to her room!"

Bilbo placed both hands on his wide chest to stop him, but that wasn't enough. Thorin dragged the Hobbit with him like he was part of his clothing. "Wait, take off your boots and your coat. You don't want to wet the poor girl!" -Bilbo tried to make him see reason- "Also I don't want my house full of mud!"

Thorin gritted his teeth and stopped long enough to discard his overcoat onto the floor, which Bilbo tried to catch before it landed on his carpet. Then he took off his leather coat and threw it angrily at Gandalf who caught it mid air. "There! Good enough for you?! Now show me to her room before I rampage this place!" He spat coldly at Bilbo.

"Give me a moment to get a grip on things. Don't storm me like that, I cannot handle you!" Bilbo rejoined and placed his wet coat near the door.

Thorin huffed feeling at the end of his teether and without anymore words stormed deeper in Bilbo's home in order to find Eilin's room on his own.

Bilbo tried to stop him again. "Wait!", but it was Dwalin's hand that pulled him back this time.

"I'd suggest you show him Eilin's room. I had a great difficulty keeping him from destroying everything in his path to get here. If I cannot contain him, then neither can you." -Then he turned quietly towards Gandalf- "Me and Mithrandir are going to share a cup of mead in your living room. Right master wizard? We have a lot to catch up on."

Gandalf smiled and followed Dwalin. "With pleasure. Got some lovely Toby to share with you, even though it would do a world of good for Thorin also."

Dwalin waved at Gandalf dismissively. "Leave him alone...man is suffering and it will take much more than weed to heal his heart."

Gandalf tilted his head in accordance and Bilbo turned his attention to Thorin who was searching the long corridor that led to the back rooms. He gazed back at Dwalin's muddy footprints staining his pristine clean floor and rolled his eyes. Hadn't he perchance came face to face with the dwarven brashness before? He exhaled and ran after Thorin raising his hand. "Wait! I'll show you!"

Thorin stopped with his hand on a door handle and looked back at Bilbo with a menacing frown that gave the Hobbit pause. "This is Loa's room."

Thorin didn't take his hand away from the handle. Bilbo tried to pull it away, but was unable to make it budge. "Disentangle your hand from the door Thorin and listen to me please! Both Loa and Eilin are asleep and the girl needs to rest as she's still recovering. It's way into the night, if you haven't noticed!"

Thorin's hand loosened around the handle and he allowed Bilbo to grasp him by the forearm shield and led him to the end of another long corridor until they reached Eilin's door. Bilbo stopped and tried to penetrate Thorin's cold eyes. "She's here, but take care not to wake her up. I know you are worried, but she feels better, believe me."

Thorin swallowed heavily and put his hand on the handle.

"Roac notified you?" Bilbo whispered.

His fingers trembled and his jawline flexed with the need to control his reactions in front of Bilbo. "Yes..." He spoke in a hushed tone.

Bilbo offered him a careful smile and clasped his tense shoulder. "I took care of her like you requested. I wouldn't have let her come to any harm."

Thorin felt his throat growing dry and a hand squeezed all the air out of his lungs unexpectedly. He pushed the violent cascade of emotions back with great effort and raised his eyes slowly at the hobbit. "I appreciate your help Bilbo, but I was the one that put her in harm's way, no matter your valiant tries to keep her safe."

Bilbo shook his head. "You look ready to collapse. I don't know who's worse right now, you or her. Go in..."

Thorin nodded and opened up the door carefully. He walked into the room and leaned on the door in order to close it. His eyes fell to the lump on the bed and instantly every single emotion he had kept trapped ever since he learned of Eilin's bleeding screamed for release. He leaned his head back on the door panel and exhaled hard, letting go of all the bitter guilt that had been locked up for the whole duration of his journey here. Every single pointy end of his despair that had been prickling his soul these ten days on the road, now tore it in half and he tried very hard not to wake her up with the moans of pain that tried to break free from his chest. The back of his head thumped on the door panel as his hands pressed his eyes and mouth, trying to mute the vocalisation of his agony. Seeing Eilin sleeping safely in this warm bed was all it took for him to feel his bottled up anguish ready to erupt. He remained for several moments by the door barely managing a good job at being quiet. When he finally pulled his hands away from his face, the lines around his mouth and at the edge of his eyes were cutting deep.

The curtains of everlasting control and assertiveness had drawn back to show a wounded Dwarfling in the stead of the mighty King. He took the first step hesitantly, not wanting to wake her up. He was not just afraid of the sadness that he would witness in those eyes, but also of the rejection. When he neared her bed he stood above her like an angel of darkness and light at the same time. The one that could save her and kill her with a single strike and yet he didn't feel the power he had on her, but the totality of the power she had on him instead.

He felt weakened and defeated in front of her sleeping body. Her head was half buried under the heavy quilt and he couldn't see any of her features apart from her hair. He leaned close to her and his palm met the amazing softness of her curly locks, making his breath catch. His fingers skimmed softly past her face and lowered the quilt down to her shoulder. A fresh on rush of tears threatened to choke him when he saw the thin paleness of her countenance. His bottom lip quivered as he looked at the face of a sick woman in the stead of his lovely Eilin...the woman he had embraced so fiercely that last night before leaving for Ered Mithrin. That accursed night he read Nyrthrasir's note.

_What have I done to you?_

Seeing Eilin so sick and broken was enough to unlock his knees. He emptied himself onto the floor next to her bed. His hand came up to her cheek as he tried to recall her mesmerising beauty. The one that had never abandon his memories even during his most desolate moments. She looked so painfully frail that his heart rushed to envelop her protectively. His finger traced the hairline on her forehead and tracked it down to her temple where he caught onto one of her soft locks and caressed it tenderly.

"Please don't leave me alone in this world, for I will follow you soon after." He whispered.

She breathed steadily, blessedly trapped into the world of dreams.

He shook his head. "How can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me? I destroyed you and our child. How can I make everything right for you again?..." he spoke with the same hushed tone. One hand insisted in tending to her temple while the other took something out of his vest pocket. He reached up and pulled the blanket down until he could find her hand. He opened up her loose fist and placed the golden dove on her palm. The diamonds sparkled for a brief moment before Thorin closed up her fist with his large hand, feeling her frail bones under his skin. He gritted his teeth against the overwhelming guilt of seeing his One so crushed by his actions. The only thing that mattered now was for him to bring her back to life in any manner. He would give his last breath just to see her smile once more.

His arm wrapped around her thin shoulder and he had to fight against the urge to pull her in, as he didn't want to arouse her quiet repose. His head leaned upon the mattress without his permission and his eyes burned with unshed tears as he looked affectionately at the woman he almost killed with his behaviour. She was sleeping unaware of the pain that was unfolding in front of her feet. The thought that he had managed to kill the child in her...their child...a child that had been a miracle for him came to undo him a thousandfold.

He remained there beside her defeated and lost. Insistently counting her deep and steady breaths, hanging on from each one of them as if they were small drops of heaven for him. Her breaths quickly lulled him into an infernal sleep that resembled more a small death. All his mental, emotional and physical fatigue got released under the comfort of her warm body below his heavy arm and her soft exhalations that were caressing the top of his head. Even though the pain of their baby's loss was tearing his heart apart every single time the thought returned, he slipped into a world of nightmares right there next to her without ever intending to.

What woke him up much later was a soft caress at the top of his head. It felt as if a finger had tunnelled through one of his thick locks and was twisting it around gently. His eyes cracked open and he saw sunlight reflecting upon the wall. Morning found him still in the same position he had passed out in and the caress on his head also meant that Eilin was awake. He felt his heart sinking in deep sorrow as he forced himself to turn around and face her.

When their eyes locked his world exploded with myriad colours he didn't know even existed. His mouth dropped open and he inhaled deeply. She was looking at him with thoughtful calmness.

"Are you really here?" she finally whispered.

The sound of her beloved voice...he closed his eyes and a fleeting tremor ran down his back. Oh, how he had missed her voice.

"What remains of me still alive is here," he spoke in a hushed tone.

A sad smile cracked the side of her lips. "Convince me that you are here..."

"How?" he reached up and found her hand that was still holding the pendant. She hadn't even felt it, so consumed she was by his sudden appearance in front of her.

"Tease me..." she frowned.

His wide palm enclosed hers protectively. "I cannot. My heart is bleeding for what I have done to you..."

She reached out and placed a finger on his lips. "Remember how you used to love my awkwardness?"

"I still do..." he muttered.

She kept her eyes closed and her head shook slightly. "I always adored your teases. Just tease me. Convince me that you are here, body and soul, and not a figment of my imagination. That you won't evaporate into thin air the minute I get out of bed."

"Eilin I am here..."

"Tease me please. Remind me what it was like to be loved by you, for I fear my mind has already forgotten. The pain has now wiped out everything nice you have ever placed in it."

His eyes pooled with tears and he kissed the back of her hand with fervour. "I've put something in your hand. Don't you feel it?"

She opened up her eyes and her forlorn gaze burrowed onto his, tearing his soul to pieces. She opened up her hand and looked at the pendant. "It's a dove..." she murmured.

He nodded silently.

"Is this for me?"

He had to force himself to satisfy her request, because his heart was not in it. "No, I rode furiously through half of Middle Earth in order to give it to Bilbo. I don't know how the hell it ended up in your hands."

A ghostly smile appeared on her lips. "So why did you bring it now that everything is over?" the tone of her voice slowly turned forlorn.

"Because I don't want us to be over Eilin..." -his eyes seared into hers with all the honesty that he felt in his soul- "Because without you I prefer to die."

Another long silence before she drew back her hand away from his. He averted his eyes, knowing that she was going to reject him. She had every right to do so. He didn't dare meet her demanding stare now after offering her his soul so openly.

"It is beautiful..." she spoke with a hushed tone after several moments where anxiety pooled into Thorin's stomach.

"Not more than you..." he turned his azure eyes on her timidly, but still she kept hers religiously away from him.

She remained tensely silent. Not knowing what to tell him, yet wishing to tell him everything within one word.

He observed her face and his heart sank at the paleness of her lips and at how prominent her cheek bones were under her beautiful green eyes. Her breathtaking beauty was still there present, but it seemed forsaken. His eyes filled with sorrow. "Eilin...you are so thin..."

She averted her face.

He teared up. "What have I done to you?"

"That's all that remains of me still alive...it's not much is it?" a melancholic smile appeared on her lips.

"I destroyed you..." he whispered feeling heart-broken.

"You destroyed us..." she rejoined softly.

"Can you ever forgive me?" he didn't have the courage to raise his voice above a mere murmur.

She didn't reply, but her fingers started caressing the diamond dove in her palm. Her eyes never left that token, but he saw tears running down her cheeks.

He reached up and cleared one of them before it reached her mouth.

A timid smile appeared in the corner of her lips.

He tweaked that hairpin gently. "Was that a smile?"

Her bitter smile grew a bit wider. "It's probably a sad try."

"Is it for me?" this time his eyes searched for hers achingly.

She huffed softly and wiped her face clean. "No, it's for this dove."

He closed his eyes and nodded. "That's good enough. If you cannot smile for me at least you can smile for my token. A small victory against this darkness that has consumed us both."

Suddenly her weak smile vanished and her face fell. More tears run down her cheeks covering her chin and running down her bosom. She lowered her eyes to her palms again and pushed his hand away from her face.

He swallowed heavily. "Are you still bleeding?"

She shook her head. "Is this why you came?"

His heart pinched him hard. "I was already on my way to you, when I learned what happened."

Her lips turned down and she ran the back of her hand over her stuffy nose. "I am not bleeding anymore."

"Do you feel better?" he whispered.

"A little..." she offered another ghostly smile to his token, but not to him.

He reached out and touched her hand with his fingers fearful that she was going to push him away once more. "Now that I am here I shall not let any harm befall you, on my word of honour."

She cringed and shook her head. "No more promises Thorin, no."

His eyes gazed at her in sorrow. "Won't you give me a chance Eilin? Am I not worth one more chance?"

A violent sob escaped her suddenly and she cupped her mouth in order to hide it from him.

He tried to grasp her hand, but she pushed him away gently. "You speak about protection, but can you protect me from yourself? It's you that wounded me Thorin. Not a man I have never met. You are the only one able to hurt me so bad. How can you protect me from yourself?" she raised her eyes demandingly at him even though her sorrow was clearly visible behind the coldness that she was trying to put up as a first line of defence.

"By killing me if needed," his jawline gritted.

Her eyes lost their hardness in slow realisation of what he just said and her bottom lip quivered. "No...not like this...don't speak like this."

He reached up and this time clasped her hand so tightly that she was unable and unwilling to pull it away. "I will kill anyone who dares to touch you Eilin and that includes me..."

She moaned and tried to hide her face from him hopelessly.

He squeezed his eyes tight and his brows creased. "I am so sorry for what I have done Eilin...words cannot even begin to explain the anguish I feel for how I treated you."

"Why did you come here?" she stammered.

That dagger pierced his heart through and through. "I came prepared to give my life in order to right my wrongs. To kneel and beg for your forgiveness."

This time her heart betrayed her. Her eyes lifted up and were immediately captured by his. "Thorin..."

He clasped her other hand and brought them both onto his chest as he kneeled there in front of her feet. "Will you run away from me again? You said you'd remain if I believe you. That we'd do everything to mend what we've broken. I believe you Eilin, I swear on my life that I believe you...give me one more chance..."

She closed her eyes. "What if I changed my mind?"

He exhaled already feeling conquered. "Then I shall follow you wherever you go. I won't let you go. I cannot live without you." He frowned.

Another ghostly smile appeared on her lips. "Then I shall hide from you."

"I will turn Middle Earth upside down and inside out. I will wage war on everyone. Everything will come to ruins until I find you again!" he said solemnly.

She squeezed her eyes tight.

"I want you to allow me to to try one more time to be the man that you deserve." His whisper was broken.

She tightened her fists as they were contained from his large palms firmly and felt his token cutting through her skin, yet she didn't remove them. "When you have been treated like dirt it's hard to allow someone treat you well. The first person to ever treat me well was your sister, but then you came along and redefined every concept of life or love I had created with my poor mind. Seeing the person I love most in the world treat me like dirt was devastating. You first build a whole new world for me and then brought it to ruins... Thorin I lost my faith in humanity again. It is one thing to be treated badly by someone you don't care, but it hurts like hell to be treated this way by someone you love. The pain is unbearable."

He clutched her hands between his and crushed his lips on them. "I am unforgivable, but please give me the chance to fix this mess for us. I don't care how long it takes, please allow me to restore your faith in me. I won't use any excuses for what I did. No matter my own pain I am inexcusable. I am here to kneel before you and tell you I am sorry for not believing you. I am sorry I treated you this way. Even though I carry two hundred years on my back and a lot of greys in my hair, I am nothing but a fool. I love you more than life and I cannot continue living it without you."

"You are a hundred and ninety six and they are not greys. They are the most beautiful silver I have ever seen," she smiled sweetly and released one of her hands. He looked at it with dread believing that she was going to pull away the other also and reject him again, but when he felt her fingers tunnelling through the silver locks on the top of his head, he shuddered and closed his eyes.

"I am still a fool for mistreating the greatest treasure in Middle Earth." he whispered in despair.

"Am I that? She frowned.

"You are so much more than that. You are the air that I breathe, the blood that runs fiery in my veins, the beating of my heart and the thoughts that overrun my mind. You are the softest morning whisper and the refreshing rain that falls upon a dry land. You are the first blooming of a flower after the hardest winter storm. The first tender stem that breaks through a burned land. You my Eilin are precious and unique. You are not just my One. You are my only One. Past, present and future."

She was weeping softly and her fingers were caressing his head gently.

"I can kneel here and speak to you for days trying to convince you of the truthfulness of my words and the honesty of my feelings, but hard reality is I won't live another day without you." He spoke under his breath.

She felt her very soul breaking apart. "I won't either Thorin..."

"Who would have thought that the rarest gem of Middle Earth was not hiding in the vaults of Erebor, but in a human tavern? That I would have to face death twice before I got to hold it in my hands?"

She frowned and looked up to him. "Twice?"

He shook his head dismissing a question that didn't matter anymore. "Mahal deemed me worthy to hold this treasure in my hands once more. I cannot ask for anything more out of life. Allow me the honour to reclaim your heart. Allow me to slay everyone who has dishonoured your name to me and restore your rightful position next to me. Tell me that you wish for this and I shall unleash hell, the equals of which Middle Earth has not yet seen, right this moment!' He continued with an honesty that slowly broke through to her.

"I don't want you to do that, no." Her voice was hushed.

"What can I do then to convince you, tell me and you shall have it." His eyes looked desperately up at her.

"I want you to tell me that we've been lucky to cross each other's paths and not cursed, because that is what I feel right now Thorin," she looked at him with an honesty that loosened up his knees. He felt his heart failing.

"You feel like our meeting has been a curse?" he asked diminished.

She reached up and her soft fingers grazed his cheek. "My mind says so, but my heart is not following through."

"I never stopped loving you even when I falsely believed those filthy lies uttered about you. I will do everything to convince you from the start that I don't care about anything. I don't care about your parents, about your previous life, your profession, your race. I care only about what my heart says for you...and it screams your name day and night. Tormenting me for failing you. I failed you Eilin, you didn't fail me. I should have never believed all these lies about you, but I was a lesser man once again. I should have believed what my heart was saying and not what my mind was creating. I don't want to lose you..." he felt vanquished as his hands clutched onto hers desperately.

"I never worked as a prostitute." She spoke quietly.

"I know my heart," he whispered.

"I may have been defiled, but I believe I am still pure and clean. You are the only man whose touch I ever yearned for. As a young woman I always had the fire of intimacy inside of me burning hot. Sometimes it was almost unbearable, but I never sought to be pleased by anyone. I was afraid of anyone ever touching me, because the only touch I knew was one that offered pain. That was until you came along and changed all that for me." she continued with the same pained quietness that tore through Thorin's heart.

He leaned down and placed a warm kiss on the back of her hands.

"I may have grown in a poor environment full of degradation, but I was never a thief, a whore or a liar. I'd rather live poor than trick people in order to get what I want and maybe that was my downfall...yet still I wouldn't change a thing. I knew nothing about love and the true pain it can cause before I met you. The only love I had ever met before you was...the idea of you, from all those stories that Rhiannon was creating in order to get me to sleep. I dreamt of a white haired, wise dwarf that stood under the Mountain and overlooked all of Middle Earth and the creatures on it that suffered with benevolence. An enlightened elder that would somehow magically see my nightmare and try to save me." She smiled even though her face was swimming in tears.

He felt his lips curling up into a pained smile. "So far away from the truth."

"But was it?" she sighed deeply.

He frowned.

"Aren't you enlightened perhaps? Didn't you save me?" she spoke thoughtfully.

"Saved you or ruined you?" he squeezed his eyes tight feeling overpowered.

"Thorin do you believe that I never came to you because of your rivers of gold or your position?" she whispered.

"I do, heavens be my witness, I do." He muttered.

"I was scared of the King so much, but you told me to see the man behind the King and that is what I did. Had you been poor I would have loved you with the same fierceness. I admit that I loved the King when I was working in the tavern, but after meeting you the King just vanished. Maybe I didn't convince you of my loyalty enough, that is why you didn't believe me in the moment of darkness." she rejoined in dismay.

Thorin shook his head fiercely. "I was a fool that's why..."

"Hush..." -she urged him- "We had to find ourselves in a ruthless argument in order for me to learn in a moment of anger and agony that you were fighting with demons I wouldn't have never known otherwise. Demons that tore you and me equally apart. The child in me is yours Thorin, I will keep yelling that to the skies until I die. I don't know what happened to make you believe you are infertile, but you've created a miracle in me somehow. Please believe me...believe me for I don't think my heart will keep on beating if you don't. Please..." she looked up to him and her eyes were showing all the anguish she felt in her heart.

"I do believe you!" he frowned and cupped her cheek lovingly. "I do...I do!"

"Why did you never speak to me about the fiends of infertility that were tormenting your mind?" -she whispered and her eyes seared into his- "We could have avoided all this pain had I known."

"I didn't want to disappoint you, to be rejected by you. What woman would ever choose half a man? A man that cannot offer her a proper family?" his voice was barely heard as he revealed his greatest fear for the first time in his life.

She bit her lower lip and pulled her hands free. He tried to enfold them again fearing another rejection, but when her soft palms cupped his cheeks a strong shudder of relief washed over his body. He looked so broken and so exhausted that she instantly wanted to care for him, to make him smile again. To send all his fears away and at the same time soothe her own fears. She forgot the nightmare he had placed her in, the moment she understood how needful he was of her right now and how needful she was of him. "You are not half a man Thorin!"

He tried to pull his face away from her tight grip, but she kept him there so firmly that his hands came out and clutched her thighs impulsively.

"You've been living inside an impossible nightmare. Half a man? You? You think that being unable to conceive makes you half a man? You are holding the fate of Middle Earth in the hollow of your palm. Anyone can have children, even the lowest of scum, but who can achieve what you have during a lifetime? You've changed the course of history and ruled Kingdoms and armies. You've fought the greatest darkness and you raged wars that will go down in the books of history. Your legacy is so monumental it can capture the hearts of maidens that live at the other side of Middle Earth." -he humphed- "You my King, can change the fate of hoards of people with your decisions. Dwarves, Elves and Men. You gave your life for all of us. For all of the Dwarven race. You are a man of courage unmatched, not half a man!" This time her smile was strong and bright as she spoke with honesty and felt her heart slowly shedding the dark shroud that had been covering it all this time.

"Yet I let my fears and doubts almost destroy you..." his voice rustled through her palms and it was trembling.

"In the final stand you faced your fears, didn't you? You stood against them as courageously as I would have expected from you", she smiled proudly. "You renounced the throne. What other King has ever done that Thorin? Most rulers claim the throne with their lives while you gave it away...for the good of your people."

"Not only for them..." he looked towards her throat and felt his heart starting to race.

Her lips trembled as her fingers caressed his bearded jawline. "Did I come between you and the throne?"

"You unlocked the manacles that kept me chained on it. You've given me my freedom." He frowned and his fingers crushed around her thighs painfully.

"So I don't have the King anymore?" she smiled softly.

A shadow of doubt passed from his face. "What?" he felt his heart freezing in terror.

She huffed. "Am I not allowed a small tease to push away the darkness also? I don't care about the King, but could I possibly...If and I repeat If I decide to give you another chance..." -his eyes grew wide slowly- "could I possibly have the swordsmith back?"

He exhaled a trapped shaking breath. "If you still want him after all he has done to you."

"I think...I do," her smile widened.

He closed his eyes tight. "Will you remain with me even if I cannot offer you anymore children? Even if that child had been a miracle that will never be repeated?"

She smiled. "You are my One. I will stand proudly next to you with children or not, even if you are King Under the Mountain or not, if you are swimming in gold or don't have a single penny. I don't care about anything else, but for what is in your heart for me, and what is in my poor heart for you."

"Eilin..." he gasped.

She frowned. "What is it?" She felt his body quivering.

He spoke with great difficulty all those words that had been tearing him apart during his journey here. "I thought that wanting so much to be a father also qualified me to be one, but that is not true is it? The Maker knows best. Look what I did to you and to our baby. Mahal knew well when he didn't allow me to become a father for so many years. I am not worthy to father a child. I am not worthy...of you. I am not worthy of your forgiveness after what I have done to our child." His voice was vibrant with unspeakable agony.

"What do you mean Thorin?..." her voice had a faded colour of confusion in it.

He pulled back and their eyes got engaged so tensely that nothing would have been able to draw them apart. "How can you ever forgive me for causing this loss for us Eilin? I would have given my life this very moment if I could bring that child back for you."

She shook her head bewildered. His eyes were swimming in tears and were looking at her in desolation. "What loss do you mean Thorin?"

A wave of confusion passed from his face and his lips parted. "The death of our child...the bleeding..." he stammered.

After a few silent moments her lips pressed with the silent realisation of what this was all about. She reached down and clasped his trembling hand. It felt way too cold for comfort. She gazed at his pale face. "Stand up."

"Why?" he whispered.

She pulled him up with difficulty and looked at him with a sweet smile. "Come with me, my proud swordsmith. I have something to show you."

He resisted and pulled her back. "You don't look well enough to be out of bed." The worry was obvious in his voice.

She shook her head with a newly found energy. "I am better than you think. I've been sleeping, trying to keep the world away from me ever since we broke up. I've been buried under a bed for so long. I don't want to be in it anymore. Now come!" She led him to the small window that overlooked part of Bilbo's garden and stopped in front of a pot. She caressed the small buds.

"What's this?" he asked quietly with a deep frown.

"Barley...bloomed..." she raised her eyes up to him.

"I don't understand..." he winced.

She took his hand and brought it to her lower belly. "It bloomed yesterday afternoon. Bilbo doesn't know yet, but Loa always suspected since the blood I shed was clear. I am still pregnant with our child my heart. I didn't lose it."

"What?!" he exhaled and looked at her truly lost.

"The bleeding stopped the very next morning and it hasn't returned again. I used your sister's test and the barley bloomed. I am still pregnant my love." The brightness of her smile blinded him. "Our child is still in me! Can that give you some hope? It does to me...Maybe we can rebuild what we have destroyed slowly, right?"

"Eilin, I...I..." He stammered. He was trying to grab onto something that would hold him aloft.

She pulled his hands and placed them on her chest. "Our baby is as stubborn and strong as his father apparently..."

Thorin moaned and covered his mouth. An unexpected eruption of unspeakable bliss sent his heart racing to an impossible pace. Ripples of goosebumps rushed through his body and he felt warm and cold at the same time as he tried to believe Eilin's words. The only words that could have given him hope and happiness. The only ones that could have brought him truly back to life and fused all his broken pieces together. The realisation that he hadn't killed the most precious little gem of all Middle Earth. That he hadn't harmed his child during his tailspin down the shadows. He wanted to believe that Mahal this time had felt mercy for his torn soul and was gifting him with the most priceless honour anyone could ever have. To be a father. Eilin said that anybody could have children and that Thorin's legacy was so much more than that, but for him the ultimate gift was fatherhood. Everything else came a distant second and he wanted so much to believe that he was being offered this blessed opportunity even so late in life.

She frowned and reached up to cup his cheeks feeling his beard waking up every sensation in her palms. "Have you any idea how many times I planned for the perfect moment to reveal my pregnancy to you back in Erebor?"

He frowned and shook his head. His heart was already singing to her words. "Your big secret..."

"Yes damn it! I weaved ideas of how I was going to break the news to you...I dreamt of how happy and blissful you would look when you found out...but in the end I failed." Her demeanour took a plunge when she remembered that accursed day in his office.

He closed his eyes painfully. "We both failed."

"Do you think we can try one more time?" she caressed his forehead gently.

He nodded quickly as sobs rattled his strong chest. "Yes, please."

She smiled up to him and tears cascaded down her nose. "My love you are going to be a father", she whispered. His hands came around to grasp her forearms sturdily.

"Again!" he exhaled a shuddering breath.

"You are going to be a father...," she rejoined with an aching gaze of anticipation.

Her words ignited a fire in his eyes that he thought was extinguished forever when he learned about her bleeding. "Louder!" he snapped and jerked her hard.

She was unable to stop the giggle that bubbled up from her stomach and erupted from her mouth. "You are going to be a father my love!" she cried and tears streamed down her face.

He broke apart in her arms then. The groan of both trapped pain and unconfined happiness that erupted from his chest made her cry out with him. He fell to his knees and pulled her in, crushing his lips onto her belly "A father?" his ragged voice murmured.

Her fingers tunnelled through his mane and she closed her eyes tight. "Yes my beloved heart..." she reassured him.

When another wail of imprisoned agony tore through him she kneeled down and enclosed him into her bosom allowing him to discharge all the suffering from his aching heart. She held him for a long time, like she had done at the burial grounds, cooing gentle words of reassurance about their baby and about her love for him as he cried endlessly pleading for her precious forgiveness. A forgiveness that he already had in his hands along with all of her heart. The rivers of anguish in him poured out and filled up the room, but she sustained through this with a loving smile on her lips. She knew those were tears of healing, not of misery. They were tears of absolution that she adored and she cradled him as he purged himself from the torture he had been through. It was his hoarse voice that was whispering something unintelligible onto her bosom that made her pull back.

It felt as if he was taking the first deep breath of life after a century of darkness. "What did you say my heart?" she whispered.

He pulled back and she looked at the result of his cleansing. His eyes were bloodshot, but when his rich spoke her hair stood in attention. "You are my most precious treasure and this baby is my most precious little gem."

She felt her fingers that were entwined through his thick mane trembling slightly. "Can you kiss me?"

He pulled her onto his lips. "Dare I kiss your sacred lips again? Will you trust and honour me with them?" he whispered.

She felt waves of goosebumps running through her body. "Kiss me like it's the first time..." she cooed him and that is what he did. His lips enfolded hers tenderly, teasing their seam as his thumb drew gentle circles of soothing affection under her jawline. She melted under his soft grip and opened up her mouth allowing him entrance not only there, but also into her heart once more. As his kiss sent waves of warmth down her stomach, her heart clenched with timid happiness that the world could become whole again and that maybe it would remain like that for her family if they tried hard enough to heal. She caressed his beloved face and allowed her sensitive fingers to skim past the roughness of his beard, elating at how her body was unfolding under his touch.

"I think I missed you...a lot...I missed the real Thorin so much..." she muttered and he pulled back.

A dazzling smile appeared on his lips as he felt mesmerised by her beautiful eyes. Eyes whose green colour he had missed so much that he couldn't get enough of now that he was looking at it. His hand came up to skim past the softness of her cheek and his fingers got buried deep into her curly hair and caressed her head. He frowned and his mouth opened up to give her a wet kiss that woke up all the sleeping butterflies in her stomach. As he explored her mouth carefully she felt quivers of pleasure sailing all over her body. She exhaled hotly on his mouth feeling her skin tingling with delight, but when she felt the strong shudders on his shoulders she pulled back worried. "Thorin you are trembling. Are you alright?"

He smiled wearily at her. "I couldn't have been better now that I have you and our child in my arms."

She looked towards his half exposed chest and frowned. Her fingers pulled back his tunic and skimmed over a tattoo she had never seen on his skin before. "This is new..."

He opened up his eyes with difficulty. It seemed that her affectionate embraces and her doting acceptance had sucked all the fight out of him. It had allowed him to release all the locks that had been keeping him under pressure sky high. With all that darkness emptying from inside of him, there was plenty of room for blessed peace. A feeling he hadn't experienced in centuries and that overwhelmed him at that moment. It loosed up his knees and drew all the strength out of his heavy arms. Now that he had no fight awaiting him, but only her loving arms around him he felt ready to collapse and it was the first time ever that he knew this collapse of his would be welcomed and not judged. He wouldn't be judged for allowing himself to fall at her feet and close his eyes in order to show the world how fatigued he had been all these years. She would allow him to sleep off his exhaustion without requiring more out of the King. She had accepted him after all this torment. She knew his dark side and she had embraced it, directing him towards the light with her bright and all embracing heart. He had nothing more to fear now. "Yes, men gehyith."* He spoke with a hushed voice.

"It's a dove..." she frowned up to him.

He nodded and his fingers smoothed upon the back of her head tenderly.

"Is it for me?"

A ghostly smile confirmed her thought. "With pride I will wear it to the grave for you."

This time it was her body that quivered hard. "Thorin..." she whispered.

"Mahal be my witness...Eilin I would die for you." He spoke with fiery resolution.

She brought him to her and their lips touched. "I love you." She whispered and their lips pinched tenderly once before they opened up in order to demand each other with a passion she had never forgotten.

"I love you men kurdel"** he muttered.

They kissed each other until she felt the world fading away around her and only his lips on hers were there to remind her that this was not a dream, but blessed reality. It was only when she felt him fading away instead of becoming more assertive as she would have expected that she frowned and pulled back. He allowed his head to lean onto her shoulder and his hand rested upon her belly.

"Thorin are you alright?"

"I am touching our Little Gem. How can I not be alright?"

She smiled widely. Her fingers fondled his pointy ear tenderly pushing his thick hair out of the way. He exhaled and closed his eyes, but his hand on her belly never stopped drawing gentle circles.

She gave him a few moments to recover, but when he continued to rest on her shoulder so heavily she frowned in concern. "You really don't look very well."

"I am just tired...so tired... You won't judge me for that, will you?" he spoke with a hushed tone and his warm palm finally covered her lower stomach protectively.

"Why would I judge you for that?" She kissed his forehead and instinctively checked his temperature, without even realising that the mother in her had awoken for good.

"Will you hate me for wanting to rest in your arms for a while?" he whispered.

She cupped his cheek and pulled his head up. "I would feel honoured that you are placing your repose in my care, but look at me..." She commanded.

His azure eyes opened up and a doting smile came onto his pale lips. It was the first moment she noticed how worn out he looked.

"Tell me you are not wounded..." she felt trepidation on her skin.

"I am not wounded. Just exhausted. I haven't slept properly...in years", he frowned at the realisation of what he was admitting.

She exhaled a whole bout of worry and stood up. She tried to pull him, but failed. "Help me get you up or I will go out and ask Gandalf to help us both. I must not put any strain on my stomach..."

That sentence was enough to make him spring onto his feet, but they were clearly unstable. "Don't ever tease me with this, please..." his voice broke and she saw the surrender in his eyes.

"Forgive me, that was tasteless of me." She said and placed an arm under his shoulder blades. She led him to bed steadily until the back of his knees got caught at it's edge. She pushed him and he fell on it gracelessly. "Get in, I will help you out of your clothes..."

His hand grasped her and pulled her in with him. Then he enclosed her in his arms tightly. "I just want you to lay down with me for a moment. I will be fine if you give me a moment."

She felt his hot breath on the back of her neck and goosebumps exploded on her skin. "As many moments as you wish."

"Someone spoke to me about rest, but I remember it through a dream. I can't ...I can't remember, but I swore to never rest unless I have you in my arms, lest I die. Now I have both you and our Little Gem, maybe I can rest for a moment, no more than that I promise. Now that I have been offered this precious chance by you to right my wrongs I may be able to close my eyes...just for a single breath." The depth of those words resounded into her heart and she felt waves of relief running through his tired body. His hand came around her hips and his palm cupped her belly once more securing their child safely under his warm touch.

She wrapped her hands around the roughness of his forearm shields and winced by the need to feel his skin. As she unbuckled them she found herself becoming more and more desperate to take them off of him. When finally she was able to touch his warm skin she sighed in relief and began drawing loving paths with her fingers. She wished to comfort him and listen to his breath turn heavy. She wanted to feel him drifting off to the sleep he seemed to need so much, but her own body betrayed her. Her fingers stopped their gentle labour and crushed onto his skin needfully. He tensed behind her, but she didn't leave him any opportunities to question anything. She turned around and buried her body as close to his as it was physically possible. Her arms curled between her chest and his and her head leaned on his collarbone...then she held her breath. When his heavy arms came around and drew her in tightly she released that precious breath along with several silent tears of relief. She snuggled warmly against him and felt his strong heartbeat under her temple lulling her, as waves of solace rushed through her body again and again. Making her tears renew with each heartbeat and she clang onto him like a barnacle, never wanting to lose him again.

Her foot kicked away his coat that she felt trapped between them almost angrily. She didn't need his substitute anymore. She had his warmth embracing her in totality and her heart welled with so much happiness that she felt it bursting at the seams. She rubbed her face onto his neck and wished she'd be able to bury herself under his skin and hide there from the world forever, protected by him. She could see nothing but the dark fabric of his tunic and his skin. She could inhale his comforting scent with each deep breath and she felt the blazing heat emanating from his body almost suffocating her, yet nothing was able to tear her away from him.

A sob released through her silent weeping.

His arms pressed her ardently. "I am here...take it all out my love...on me...," he used the words she had used at the office with him and that liberated her need to keep herself in check and she emptied her pain on him exactly as he had asked, trying to mend every wound through those healing tears and above all with his loving embrace of life. He cradled her close to his heart as she clutched onto him desperately long after the sun had began setting again. Neither needed to get out of bed to seek food or water. All they needed was already there. Despite his heavy fatigue he remained awake whispering soft words of reassurance straight onto her ear and pampering her with myriads of kisses. Finally it was her breath that became heavy first when the sky outside became dark, but when he understood that she was sleeping quietly, he held her even closer. Only then and then alone with Eilin in his arms and their child safely between them was he able to allow sleep to overtake him also.

When everything faded away around him there was only a much needed restful darkness that life had been owing him for one hundred and fifty years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Damn it...that's what happens when you are too tired. I forgot the most important thing ever. To thank Godmother StephCalvino for giving the baby the nickname Little Gem even though no one knows her in this forum. She's the second brain behind this story. Thank you my friend for another beautiful addition from you. Sorry for me being so damned forgetful *.* 
> 
> * My dove  
> ** my heart


	52. Born from dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -As always let me thank StephCalvino for her beta reading this story. I won't mention her amazing reviews because they belong into another site I am uploading.
> 
> -I want to thank every single reviewer for leaving their comments also. Even if it is a simple word it means a lot to me. There are few readers in this story and I appreciate and hold sacred each and everyone that takes time to give this story a chance. Thank you all *.* Even those of you who read without ever commenting ;)

 

* * *

_Once upon a time there was a man, a wandering soul_

_Lost in the realm of our kingdom_

_They say he was a king who fought a great war_

_When the dragons came into our kingdom and burnt everyone with a roar._

_Once upon a time there was a kingdom, a beautiful one_

_Surrounded in darkness of an ancient war_

_They say there was a king, this wandering soul_

_Who's cursed by a demon, forever, to watch his own realm rise and fall._

-.-

The entrancing voice of Eilin resounded around the rolling hills of the Shire making several neighbouring hobbits that were taking care of their gardens stop and listen mesmerised. She continued humming and repeating the verses as she picked up some hyacinths that Bella had planted on the field in front of mister Bilbo's house. Their blooming meant the coming of spring and Eilin couldn't wait for it. She had enough of the winter storms up north. It was the deeply serene voice of Gandalf that made her look up.

"You seem to be singing about a King we both know well." He sat down near her.

She stopped her singing to the dismay of her audience who raised their hands in the air with a disappointed exclamation. "Of course I am." She smiled.

Gandalf reciprocated. "You look so much better. Refreshed and well rested, but above all luminous."

"Luminous?" her lips twisted playfully.

"You are shining from within." Gandalf rejoined.

She picked up the last flower and placed it carefully in her basket. Then her eyes lifted at the bright blue sky that was bereft of any sign of darkness. "How can I not be? Look at this beautiful weather. It reminds me of springtime, not the middle of the winter."

Gandalf looked at his pipe and winced. "The Shire has mild weather all year round. After that insistent rainfall the scent of nature and it's colours feel so vibrant. I cannot get enough of this place."

"Me neither," she agreed wholeheartedly.

Gandalf allowed her a few moments of happy recollection before he spoke again. "I have a feeling that the cause of your happiness is not due to the weather, but because of the King that your song was talking about."

She huffed and caressed her cheek. "You are right."

Gandalf nodded thoughtfully. "Everybody is already assuming by your countenance that he managed to right his wrongs."

She bit her lower lip, but remained silent.

"I say assuming, because you don't talk and of course no one is able to talk to him in order to learn any details either. Both west and north await news from him impatiently and the man has been sleeping for seven days straight!" Gandalf chuckled, but only partly amused.

"I cannot wake him up. He cracks his eyes open just to make sure I am there, or have a sip of water and then goes under again. It feels like he's hibernating, stupid as it sounds." She winced and cleared some long locks that were floating in front of her eyes.

"I think that is exactly what he is doing. I don't think Thorin Oakenshield has ever had the opportunity to have such a carefree rest in years. Only now did the two century old tempest inside him abate enough to allow him to slow down. I think all this was your doing."

"Mine?" she frowned.

"You forced him to face his demons and walk through the fire. I think our King felt cleansed enough from this adventure to let all his guards down finally. This is the reason he's sleeping so heavily, cocooned in the safety of a small Hobbit's house. Isn't it ironic though?"

Eilin smiled widely at the wizard. "What is?"

"That such a mighty King has found his rest in such a humble abode around such loyal and modest people who love him so dearly?"

Eilin face fell. "I don't want us to leave Hobbiton master Gandalf. Sometimes I pray that Thorin doesn't wake up. That he will remain my sleeping beauty there in that room. That he will allow me to keep him in the Shire for the rest of our lives. I daydream that he agrees to raise our child here in this peaceful environment. As much as I love Erebor and my kin I don't want to return there. I fear the tempest in him will wake up once more and consume him the moment he comes under the influence of his rule. The Shire brings out the peace and quiet in all of us. Even the most fiery dwarven blood can settle down here."

Gandalf looked thoughtfully at a crow that was perched on a tree above them. "Those are fears I cannot soothe for you young lady, but I can tell you with certainty that the angry King in Exile that left the Blue Mountains to reclaim his homeland a year ago, is not the same man as King Thorin who is sleeping in your bedroom so peacefully right now. That at least I can vouch for."

A small smile appeared on Eilin's beautiful lips, while her hand caressed her stomach tenderly. "I hope you are right master Gandalf."

That is when a sleepy voice drew their attention. It was Bilbo who was stretching and yawning in front of his door. "Oh, hey Twofoot! How's that olive tree growing? It doesn't seem to be taking up roots very well," Bilbo teased his neighbour who turned bothered.

"Can you shut up? I prefer to hear that girl's singing than your ugly voice!" Daddy Twofoot retorted.

Bilbo placed his hands on his waist and puffed up his chest with a laugh. "I am sure you do."

"As for the olive tree it will take up roots, give me olives and I will make sure to pelt you with them every morning! Damned Took..." Daddy mumbled under his breath and went in his hole, making sure his door crashed with a satisfactory sound behind him.

Gandalf snorted and lit up his pipe.

"Good morning. Bloody Dwarf is not waking up...I tried again." Bilbo said and opened up his gate in order to join them.

"Please don't bother him mister Bilbo. I gave orders to Loa to look out for him. This morning he was much more receptive to me. I think he is close to waking up on his own, but I don't want us to stop his repose. He needs it so much." Eilin's voice was so full of affection that Bilbo grinned.

"You're fiercely protective of him." Bilbo sat down next to Gandalf and stretched his legs, feeling the morning dew upon the grass highly refreshing under his feet.

She smiled embarrassed. "I was about to go to the market to pick up some food for him. I want to make him a hefty breakfast. He is going to be famished after so many days of starvation."

"Make sure you get lots of eggs!" -Bilbo pointed at her- "and bread and cheese. He will pillage through my stack when he wakes up. One of them is enough to undo my whole house. Remember Gandalf the last time all thirteen were here?"

Gandalf laughed. "They made it up for you."

Bilbo tilted his head. "Dwalin has already consumed every single egg I have. His hunger is insatiable."

Eilin stood up. "I'd better go get some fresh ones then. You need anything more for the house mister Bilbo?"

"Are you sure you are in shape to do this?" Bilbo looked at her suspiciously.

Eilin beamed down to him. "I feel perfect!"

"Hey mister Baggins! Hey darling!" Mrs. Gamgee waved and walked up the path to their house.

"Hello Bella, how is Hamfast?" Bilbo said with a lopsided smile.

"As always getting on my case for not allowing him to eat meat more than three times a week. He's getting too fat for health, you mark my words" -Bella raised her finger and then she turned to Eilin- "Where are you off to this morning, all blithe and bonny?"

"To the market, want to join me?" Eilin grinned.

"Sure, I need some vegetables for noon" -Bella said and engaged Eilin's elbow- "come we'll find some chance to talk about the two impressive Dwarves that are hiding in your house for a week now." She gave Bilbo a knowing glance.

Bilbo scrounged his lips. "Dwarves are private people. They keep in the company of their kin Bella...I am not hiding them." He felt piqued.

Eilin laughed lightly and pulled Bella quickly down the path. She gave a happy look at Bilbo and Gandalf above her shoulder.

Gandalf looked at her thoughtfully for several moments. "The girl is doing brilliantly. Our dear King Thorin has indeed managed to right all his wrongs master Baggins. Finally."

Bilbo raised his brow and placed his thumbs under the armpits of his vest. "I think you are right Gandalf. Finally the world seems to be in order once more...much like the weather."

* * *

It took Thorin several tries to open up his eyes without seeing everything around him totally blurry. Even more so to try his voice that sounded even deeper and huskier than usual.

"Eilin?" When he managed to spell out her name, there was no answer. He turned around in the bed and felt the heavy quilts along with his clothing too warm. His hair too tangled and his body too heavy and numb. It didn't feel like he was waking up from sleep, but more like he was returning from a deep fainting spell. He lifted up his head and looked at Eilin's cozy room. The fireplace held a strong fire in the hearth and the brown armchairs were overflowed with scattered clothes. The small nightstand had a cup of water and a burned out candle. The bookcase at the side of the wall has several half open books on top of it and two casually thrown to the floor. He gazed at the small window through which the bright light of the sun was throwing shadows at the foot of the large four poster bed. The pot of the bloomed up barley made Thorin's lips curl up.

For the first time in centuries he felt the need to stretch instead of spring out of bed as if the house was on fire. He felt his muscles responding pleasurably to that stretch and instantly his mouth yawned in satisfaction. His body yearned to turn around, find a comfortable position and close his eyes again in order to abandon his mind in the blessed oblivion of sleep again. The only thing that stopped him was that Eilin was not there this time to reassure him as all the other times he had woken up. He remembered vividly her beautiful face smiling down at him when he woke up from his slumber to offer him loving words that dispelled his fears or feed him water. Now that she wasn't here the need to get up and find her won over the need to sleep even more. He grumpily sat up in bed, mercifully unaware of how messed up his hair was or how youthful and rested his handsome face looked. Every single dark circle of sleeplessness and line of worry had vanished under the safety of Eilin's presence.

The only thing his heart longed for now was to find Eilin and pull her back to bed in order to embrace both her and their child before he allowed sleep to overtake him once more, to the end of his days if possible. He pushed himself up and stretched unwillingly once more. Another yawn woke up the muscles of his face and sent signals to alert his brain that he needed to pull himself together. He found his boots at the end of the bed, but also a clean pair of trousers and a tunic. Without even knowing how to begin searching for towels in order to wash himself, he decided to simply change clothes and take care of that later on. Nevertheless the inevitable visit to the bathroom made him throw plenty of water on his face and hair in order to tame them. When he managed a pretty decent job out of them he came out and began searching the house. It was Loa who saw him first as he was passing from the kitchen.

"Good morning my Lord," she smiled.

He stopped and leaned his arm on the archway. "Good morning my dear woman."

Loa turned her attention to some tomatoes that she was slicing. "You hungry my Lord?"

Suddenly he felt his stomach doing a summersault. He frowned. "Famished."

"I'd fix you some breakfast, but I cannot." Loa flicked her shoulder.

"Why is that?" Thorin's frown deepened.

"Miss Eilin will take care of that when she comes back from the market. She was very clear on that order. No one makes you breakfast, but her." Loa smirked.

A sweet smile came over his mouth and he bit his lower lip. "Then I shall wait. Is anyone else awake?"

"Master Bilbo and Master Gandalf are outside in the garden. Lord Dwalin is in the living room." Loa rejoined.

Thorin nodded and went to find his friend. He was sitting in front of the fire with a pipe hanging out of his mouth and a large book cradled on his thighs. When he saw Thorin he smiled. "Welcome to the world of the living. We've been expecting your return impatiently."

Thorin rounded the second armchair and sat down briskly. "I won't say I missed you, for I didn't."

"Me neither." Dwalin turned his attention to the book again.

"How long have I been asleep?" Thorin yawned again and reached out to take Dwalin's cup. When he tasted it he was pleasantly surprised it wasn't mead, but a warm cup of tea.

Dwalin closed the book and leaned back. "How many days you mean."

Thorin sipped the warm liquid that felt like smooth silk on his throat and stomach. "Days?" he raised both eyebrows surprised.

"Seven days you've been out. Was beginning to get a bit worried." Dwalin rejoined.

"What?" Thorin lowered his head shocked.

Dwalin pursed his lips. "No one bothered you, by orders of your One. She's taken over the protection of your repose like the most devoted guard. No one could approach your door without her approval."

Thorin's lips curled up into a loving smile.

Dwalin scrounged his lips though. "This place is so peaceful even a demon would be able to rest peacefully."

"It is, but it wasn't the peace of the house that allowed me to sleep. It was the knowledge that Eilin and the baby were alright." Thorin rebuked and placed the empty mug on the foot rest.

"This adventure cost us all dearly. It almost cost Eilin her husband and father of her child. It almost cost you, your wife and unborn child. As for Erebor unfortunately it cost us our King." Dwalin sounded disheartened.

"Almost Dwalin...almost." Thorin looked at him quietly.

"Not the King part unfortunately. You managed that one pretty well." Dwalin raised his brow.

"That sounds reproachful."

"It is. What's gotten into you I wonder..." Dwalin began, but Thorin spoke over him.

"Not this again. We wanted the unity of the seven families didn't we?"

Dwalin frowned. "Of course."

"It would have never happened without me giving up the throne. Fili's rule is fresh and he will be a much more balanced ruler than me Dwalin. Let the boy have a chance to do what I have failed to do. Let him unite us all." Thorin spoke peacefully as if all this meant little to him, when Dwalin knew it had cost him dearly to give up Erebor's throne.

"But it won't be Fili managing this unity, but you...with the ultimate gesture of your abdication. You don't understand do you? It's you that managed all this. Not any other ruler." Dwalin rejoined.

Thorin inclined his head. "It matters little who did the job, only that the job is done."

Dwalin inhaled deeply. "This is a folly. The worst you've ever done."

Thorin countenance cracked. "My worst folly was believing that scum Nyrthrasir instead of Eilin. It was almost killing Eilin and my unborn child for a bunch of lies. Everything else comes a distant second. The unity of the seven families, Erebor and it's throne, the alliance to the Elves, the security of the North...even fighting against the darkness of the East."

Dwalin nodded and caressed his beard. "Eilin helped your abdication..."

Thorin tensed.

Dwalin continued unfazed. "You sacrificed your throne for the unity of the families. A noble cause, but did you also break your chains in order to allow you and Eilin to have a peaceful life away from all the obligations that go along with your titles?"

Thorin scrounged his lips and looked at his crossed hands. "Perhaps."

Dwalin nodded thoughtfully. "You won't manage that so well Thorin unfortunately."

Thorin's brow clouded. "I know."

"Your name stands high in the order of command of Erebor. Even if King Fili remains the ruler, you'll be asked over. The people will demand that, I will demand that." Dwalin said sternly.

"Even if I beg you to release me? To give me a chance to be free from all that?" Thorin's eyes looked at him wearily.

"Even then you won't be able to erase the fact that you are Thorin the second, also known as Oakenshield. King in Exile, King under the Mountain, King of Durin's Folk...even after abdicating you will still carry these titles. Do you think life has in store for you a quiet life in Hobbiton as a sword smith like Eilin probably dreams?" Dwalin spoke calmly, but his words were piercing Thorin's heart.

He frowned crestfallen.

"Have you talked to her about it?"

"I haven't talked to anybody about anything. I could barely keep my eyes open long enough to look at her." Thorin smiled.

Dwalin reciprocated. "You should talk and soon enough for there are things that have arrived for you three days ago."

Thorin's brows came together. "Like what?"

Dwalin dug up through the pocket of his vest and brought out a scroll. "One of Roac's kin brought it for you. Forgive me for going through it."

Thorin's lips twisted disturbed and he opened up the scroll to read it. When he finished his eyes seared into Dwalin's.

His friend inclined his head. "No matter how pleased I am that you, Eilin and your unborn child are well, I cannot hide from you that the things written in this message must be taken care by you. Not King Fili."

Thorin sat back and lowered his scrutinising gaze at the message again.

"Uncle,

You need to return to Erebor as soon as your other obligations allow. I followed your orders to the last letter even though mother is unable to understand why I offered Karunn an official invitation from the Royal family. She keeps crying that this woman almost killed her brother, her sister in law, an innocent baby and almost her nephew or niece. I cannot stop her from planning to kill Karunn in her sleep, even though I told her I was acting on your orders. She named you a brainless wolf many times over. Don't give her any notice please.

Uncle Dain is even worse than her. He is aware of what happened., but is short on the details. Balin and Bjarki have a great difficulty keeping him from storming Karunn. He demands you to return and clear up the name of his family. I don't think Karunn will remain alive if she falls into Dain's hands and we have a hard time keeping him away from her upon your orders. He demands us to keep Valdis away from her sister, but that cannot happen unless we reveal what has happened and arrest her. Forgive me, but I trusted Durar with part of the truth as he seems to be the only one physically able to contain Dain. Also I think he speaks to him in a way my uncle can comprehend. If Karunn is still alive when you return you need to thank Lord Durar!

We placed Rhiannon in one of the Royal rooms with two guards outside and no one is coming into contact with her. Nyrthrasir was sent into isolation upon your orders. Unfortunately he woke up and we can barely contain him. He learned about the loss of his baby and throws himself into the walls, screaming Karunn's name day and night.

Finally and most importantly we have an uprising of the common people against the Lords of the seven families on our hands! Don't ask me how that happened for I swear I don't know! You really need to get back in order to understand. No words from me will explain adequately the magnitude of what's taking place right now in all the common areas.

I hope Eilin and my little unborn cousin are alright. Please send news back about her with the crows. Me, mother, Balin and above all your newly self appointed protector, little Lis, are very worried.

With undying love,

your nephew Fili."

Thorin inhaled deeply. "Well..."

"Well you cannot avoid the news that is knocking at your doors. Nyrthrasir is awake and trying to commit suicide again, the filthy woman who almost destroyed you is prancing around like a Queen in your domain, Dis is ready to get rid of her by any means and Dain will join her soon or possibly precede her."

"Tell me you don't think I am a brainless wolf also..." Thorin raised his brow.

"I know you well by now. You never do anything without reason. You didn't want to imprison her so you could keep Fain and the Ironhills off Fili's case, but you wanted her in the confines of Erebor within your easy reach, right?" Dwalin looked at him thoughtfully.

Thorin tilted his head.

"Keep them off Fili's case...till you return and take over, correct?" Dwalin leaned forth.

Thorin raised his brow.

"Don't look at me like that. What about Erebor? Are you going to pretend blindness about the riots that Fili was talking about? He didn't use the words, but that is what's happening under your absence." Dwalin continued.

Thorin humphed.

"Meanwhile you sleep like a log for almost a week while the world around you comes to ruins," Dwalin continued.

Thorin felt anger making his nape crawl. "I didn't leave Erebor ungoverned, now enough. Point made."

Dwalin inclined his head. "Thank Mahal's holy beard. What are you going to do about all this?"

"I will return..." Thorin's voice sounded disheartened.

Dwalin sighed. "You fear Eilin won't want to follow?"

It took Thorin a few moments before he nodded. Then in an afterthought he crumbled up the message and threw it in the fire.

"What shall you do then my friend? Follow your heart or your mind?" Dwalin contemplated.

"I will not abandon Eilin for anyone in Erebor Dwalin. If needed I will return and sort out everything alone, before returning to her whenever she chooses to take abode in. Even if it's here." Thorin's voice didn't waver.

Dwalin pursed his lips. "I must admit I wasn't expecting that."

"Will you judge that decision?" Thorin looked at him steadily.

"To abandon your people and the kingdom that you longed to rule ever since you were a child in order to settle down in the Shire with your family?" Dwalin said coldly.

Thorin raised his brow.

Dwalin's lips upturned. "No...I will follow you to the end of the world. Remember? Even though the simplicity of this place will surely drive me mad after a point."

Thorin's mouth formed a grateful smile and he reached out to grasp Dwalin forearm. His friend reciprocated. "Thank you."

"As I will follow you back to Erebor so you can solve this mess with that witch." Dwalin continued.

"I hope Fili will keep up the pretence until we return." A dark curtain fell in front of Thorin's eyes.

"I know you well enough to recognise the wheels turning in your mind. When you are like this I am not to question anything you decide. There is always a purpose to it."

Thorin's lips turned down and his eyes seared decisively into Dwalin's.

Dwalin nodded. "Yep, it's that mood alright. I recognise it. Although I have to say that Karunn must be rather pleased that she managed all her evil schemes and she still belongs to Erebor's court."

"I assume she's more pleased that Fili has taken over rulership and I am nowhere to be seen."

"That mainly..." Dwalin nodded.

Thorin sighed thoughtfully and that is when the door opened up and Bilbo came in with Gandalf. "Come, I'll make us some tea." -They turned and saw Thorin with Dwalin sitting by the fire- "Oh, would you look at that! Welcome back to the world of the living."

Thorin exhaled and stood up. "Got that welcome already master Bilbo. Now go to your room. I've left a little something on the bed for you. Something you forgot back at Erebor's royal armoury."

Bilbo crossed his arms. "What did I forget?"

Gandalf sat down with a clever smile. "Maybe a certain Mithril shirt?"

Bilbo frowned and turned at Thorin who walked to the open door. "No, you shouldn't have brought that back!"

Thorin waved him off and walked out. "Silence. Don't get me entangled in any conversations right now. Let me be."

Gandalf inhaled deeply and raised his brow at Dwalin. "I think the King is trying to avoid us having a serious talk about what he actually accomplished in Dol Guldur before coming here."

Dwalin reciprocated the expression. "I think he is trying to avoid any serious conversation as I just had one with him already."

Thorin leaned against the casing of the door. He crossed his arms and looked up at the bright blue sky.

Dwalin pointed a menacing hand at Gandalf. "Not that I blame him. I don't want to talk about what he did in Dol Guldur either! I have no idea what possessed him to ask for the help of those pointy eared sissies!"

Gandalf raised his brow. "They are your allies now master Dwalin thanks to your King's shrewdness and you'd better thank the Maker they intervened so quickly in order to save him from certain death. You would have taken much longer to reach him."

Dwalin crossed his arms and humphed. "He wouldn't have come to any harm, had he revealed to us his dare-devilish plan to storm that stronghold instead of bashing my head to keep me from following him."

Thorin sighed and shook his head with a small smile.

Gandalf leaned back and relaxed. "What should matter most is that King Thorin and King Thranduil cleared up the darkness of Dol Guldur for good and that the alliance of the North is secure finally. The White Council is immensely pleased with his expert manoeuvring through these very difficult situations. He established himself as a very skilful ruler, even though he's very hard to control...nay impossible."

Thorin cringed feeling deeply annoyed. "Your scheming never ceases Mithrandir and that tires me. Even in the most peaceful environment you cannot hold your tongue. Let me have a moment to rest." He chastised.

Gandalf inhaled smoke from his pipe. "Very well. I shall not speak anymore, but that doesn't mean there aren't things that need to be said."

"I am well aware of their existence so let them remain unspoken." Thorin rebuke sternly.

Gandalf inclined his head. "As you wish."

It took several moments of introspection for Thorin to speak again. "The only thing I wish to do is thank you for saving Eilin's life...for saving my child." His face became solemn.

A small appreciative smile came onto Gandalf's mouth. "That child is very important King Thorin..."

Thorin's brows creased confused for several moments.

"Not that the lady by your side is less important..." Gandalf smiled knowingly.

Thorin's lips parted in mild uncertainty. "I shall never forget what you did."

"I know you won't, but that won't help me with your stubbornness. I will always have a difficulty changing your fixed plans and ideas of how things should be handled." Gandalf replied calmly.

Dwalin pursed his lips towards the wizard and stood up to get some weed for his pipe. "There is only one person in Middle Earth who can control Thorin and that person is neither in Erebor, nor in this room." He rejoined cleverly.

Gandalf exhaled the smoke with a knowing smile. "Oh, I know."

Bilbo laughed.

Thorin scrounged his lips and found the opportunity to walk a few steps more and allow the door to close behind, separating him from the annoying voices that continued inside. He placed his hands on his wide belt and closed his eyes, enjoying the fresh smell of the ground after all that heavy rainfall.

The door opened and closed and Bilbo stepped out. "Did we make you mad?"

Thorin shook his head. "I don't want to ruin the peace I feel right now. I need it."

Bilbo shuffled his naked feet on the stones of his porch in order to draw Thorin's attention. The King didn't open his eyes. He kept his head tilted upwards towards the warm sun. "I knew you would enjoy the mild weather of Hobbiton. I knew it would do you a world of good to get out of that stormy environment and bask in the sun for days. Okay or maybe sleep for days..."

Thorin chuckled softly.

Bilbo grinned. "You look a hundred years younger already."

"I feel absolutely wonderful. You were right my dear Bilbo. This place is amazing. I wish I could remain here forever."

"You can..." Bilbo said casually.

Thorin turned at him with a lopsided smile.

"You've got mountains of gold. You can buy the whole Shire!" Bilbo presented him the magical rolling hills and the lake.

The King humphed. "I wouldn't dare destroy this beauty with my gold. It needs to remain untouched by everyone in Middle Earth. Would I choose to live here it would be under Hobbiton's peaceful rules, not mine."

Bilbo seemed pleased. "You'll never be able to tame your dwarven blood in order to keep out of trouble for long Thorin. The Shire might help settle your spirits, but in the end your fiery blood will seek out great adventures...it will seek out the Lonely Mountain and it's deep caverns, it's bottomless pits and it's endless mines won't it? It will need the companionship of your kin and the solemn songs reverberating deep into the bowels of the earth. You've been born and raised a King my friend and a King you shall die even if it's here in humble Hobbiton. Your heart will call you back to your people soon enough, like my heart called me back here in the end. It's inevitable. I'd love for you to take abode a few houses down Bagshot Row and see your children run and play free in the fields, but I know in the end your heart will fall miserable and will wish to see Erebor again. Then nothing would be able to keep you tied down to the Shire. Not even it's beauty and peace."

Thorin crossed his arms. "That was profoundly wise and true."

Bilbo allowed a few silent moments between them, were each enjoyed the beautiful weather according to his own nature. "You should keep the Mithril shirt. You need it more than me. I don't intend to get into any more wars, which I would dare assume is not true about you. You're itching to pick up a war axe and bury it onto someone's head, correct?"

Thorin laughed out loud this time. When he settled he looked down at Bilbo with a bright smile. "Let fate take its course master burglar. Maybe this shirt will protect you or someone you love in the future. Maybe someone who's fate will be more important than mine in the history of Middle Earth. There was a reason this ended up in your hands, therefore you must keep it. Besides I have kept your acorn seed. So keep this part of Erebor close to your heart."

Bilbo looked at him lovingly and reached out to clasp his wide shoulder. "Since you put it this way, I'll keep it."

Thorin nodded with a lopsided smile. "Good."

Bilbo squeezed Thorin's shoulder. "Thank you for trusting me with Eilin."

Thorin's face closed up slowly and became solemn. He fixed his eyes on the small Hobbit. "I would have never trusted anyone else with the most precious treasure of Erebor, but you."

Bilbo's eyes welled and he wiped off his nose with his forefinger. "Ah...don't you just love the smell of the ground after the rain?" he changed the topic quickly.

Thorin turned his attention onto the green hills and the smooth lake waters that reflected the bright light of the sun. "I love everything in the Shire master burglar, but above all her..."

Bilbo turned his eyes to where Thorin's gaze had fallen and grinned widely. "I can certainly see why my friend."

* * *

Bella's hand squeezed Eilin's forearm and stopped her. "Have I ever told you that I believe your child is going to be blessed with great beauty?" she said suddenly changing the topic about Hobbiton's ponies and their interesting colours that had been created by interbreeding.

"What?" Eilin frowned taken aback.

Bella raised her brow, but her eyes fell intensely in front of Bilbo's door. "The baby in you...it's going to be utterly irresistible."

Eilin beamed down at her and cleared some long tendrils from her face. "Thank you..."

"Judging by the enchanting beauty of the mother, but also the gorgeous looks of the father..." Bella fanned her face needing to cool down the sudden flush on her cheeks.

Eilin frowned. "Oh...the father yes..."

Bella pulled her arm and gestured towards Bilbo's door with her head. "Assuming that exceptionally alluring Dwarf Lord that's standing imposingly outside Baggin's door eating you up with his eyes, is the father of course."

Eilin's stomach clenched and she turned her eyes to the house. There her heart stopped for a moment when she saw Thorin looking back at her affectionately before it began racing with excitement. "Oh, he's awake!" She whispered.

Bella pulled her over and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. Then she turned Eilin around and fixed her wild hair, before taking care that the purple bow on the back of her dress was properly tied up. "You look breathtaking. Now go to him. I'll see you later. Thank you for the company and the talk."

Eilin turned and looked at Bella absently above her shoulder. "What? Oh, yes, thank you too..."

Bella smiled and waved at Eilin. Then she turned and waved at Bilbo who decided to leave as quickly as Bella did. "Have a nice rest Baggins!"

"Thanks Bella, you too!" Bilbo rejoined and closed the door behind him.

Thorin's eyes never left Eilin who ran up to him out of breath. She stopped in front of him and lowered her eyes feeling suddenly very embarrassed. Her cheeks blushed. She caught her basket that was full of food by both hands and brought it in front of her. "Hi..." she whispered not daring to look him in the eyes. For some reason her heart was bursting with excitement.

"Hi..." was the quiet reply and his hand came up to take the basket from her. He placed it on the stones and his warm hand enfolded hers in it.

She raised her eyes slowly to his and the moment his azure gaze captured her the world stopped turning. "Did you sleep well?" she whispered.

He shook his head. "That was the best sleep I've had in ages."

She smiled and pressed his hand. "I thought you were falling ill. You worried me."

His other hand came up and sailed over the softness of her neck until his thumb caressed gently under her earlobe. "This dress suits you very much."

A wave of heat rushed onto her face and she tried to avoid his eyes again. "I don't know why, but I am highly embarrassed by you right now, which sounds silly, doesn't it?"

A small cute frown passed from his brows and he leaned down to capture her lips in a soft kiss that made her body come to attention. "I love seeing you embarrassed. Makes me want to do things that will embarrass you even more." He spoke onto her lips with a hushed voice.

"Like?" she murmured.

His hand released her and dug into his pocket. He allowed the golden dove to dangled next to their faces. She turned and looked at it breathless. "Oh..." she murmured.

"Found it on the nightstand. Does that mean you don't wish to wear it?" his eyes were eating her up, searching for her reaction.

"It means I wanted you to do it...maybe you've changed your mind in between I don't know..." she whispered and twisted her fingers nervously in front of her apron.

He grasped her shoulders and turned her gently around. "Pull up your hair..." he spoke in a hushed tone.

She did so and the moment she felt his fingers grazing the soft skin where her shoulder met her neck she shuddered and closed her eyes. When she felt the softness of his lips gifting her with a tender kiss there she gasped. He pulled back and opened up the necklace. When the cold metal rested a few inches above her cleavage she bit her lower lip and looked eagerly down at it. It's precious gems were sparkling under the bright sun. His fingers secured it and then ran the length of it's thin chain in order to straighten it.

She turned around. Her previously flushed cheeks were now deep crimson. He smiled down at her. "Ah, that's beautiful."

"The necklace?" her lips parted.

A small frown tainted his clear brow. "You." He whispered and his hand pulled her onto him by the waist. Then he dipped down and his lips opened up in order to allow his tongue to come out and gently probe her for entrance. A soft moan escaped as her fingers circled firmly around his wrist, holding him for support. The moment he felt the slickness of her tongue touching him, he pulled her in firmly and opened up his mouth to offer her a captivating kiss that released waves of heat into the pit of her core.

She hadn't been kissed so thoroughly by him for so long that she yearned to experience every thread of his insatiable longing. Her soft palm skimmed across his bearded cheek and her fingers squeezed his skin making sure he would continue the magic that he was working on her mouth. They kissed like mad in front of Bilbo Baggins door allowing their tastes to fuse and blend into endless pirouettes of sensations that consumed them both. He devoured her in order to convince himself that she was there indeed and not cold in death and she opened up for him like a bud. His touches were what she needed in order to bloom. His hand planed down the flat of her upper stomach until it found the bump on the lowest part of it under the purple apron of her cute dress. Then his lips lingered breathlessly above hers for a few moments, trembling as tears released from his eyes and ran hot between their joined skin. She felt them and opened up her eyes. She frowned and cupped his cheeks. "Don't cry please."

His mouth captured her lips again in a greedy manner that ignited the fire in her loins, but before she had the chance to allow herself to enjoy this fresh sensual advance, he pulled back with a low hiss. She got ready to ask him what was wrong, but his actions answered all her questions at once. He fell on his knees in front of her and gave a firm kiss to her lower belly. "How do you feel my love?" he whispered.

She felt her own eyes overflowing with tears and her heart welling. "I feel in heaven Thorin. You are here with me. I need nothing else in life."

Another gentler kiss was placed on her belly and then rested his cheek on it and closed his eyes. "How's the baby?"

She leaned down and enfolded his head onto her lap. Her hands ran down his broad shoulders and back in order to show him all her love and appreciation. "No pain, no blood, but a lot of nausea still, although I think I am now getting the hang of it finally."

He looked up at her dotingly. "All that stomach trouble back in Erebor was the baby not something you ate, right?"

She laughed lightly and wiped away the tears. "Yes..."

"Why didn't you tell me earlier Eilin? Why?" He frowned.

She caressed his hair gently. "I was afraid I was going to lose it. I didn't want to enthuse you with a possible pregnancy only to have you go through such a loss a few days later. Early pregnancies are very fragile. I wanted to spare you the agony if such a thing ever happened."

Another pained hiss escaped him and he leaned his head on her stomach again and closed his eyes. His fingers felt the bones of her hips and he frowned. "Why did you lose so much weight? This cannot be healthy for you and the baby."

Eilin smiled down sweetly at him and her fingers caressed his jawline. "Your child is as overwhelming on me as you had been ever since I met you. It won't allow me to keep a morsel of food in me. Loa says that in a month I will feel better with all the puking."

"I am sorry I made you go through all this..." he frowned regretfully.

She smirked. "Are you truly asking forgiveness for getting me pregnant?"

A huff escaped his mouth and he smiled. "I think I am, yes."

She shook her head fiercely. "My silly warrior. Never ask forgiveness for giving me paradise. Besides I don't fear how overpowering this child will turn out to be anymore. You'll be there to take on the heat alongside of me, right?"

His arms tightened around her waist. "Till the end of my days."

Her eyes shone bright. "Then our child will have formidable competition."

"I love you." He reached up and pulled her down onto his mouth hungrily.

"I love you too," she cooed and they kissed vigorously, getting pulled once again into their own little world.

That is until a voice full of insinuation interrupted their loving exchange. "Give her a flower before devouring her like this! Sweet Eru the trouble we are going to have by having all these people in our lands now. Where is the world coming down to?"

They pulled apart and looked at Hamfast Gamgee standing in his front porch with his pipe balanced between his lips. Bella was punching his shoulder rather uselessly. "Leave the people alone to love each other, what's gotten into you?"

"Dwarves from beyond the Misty Mountains, aren't they? The Shire is brimming with rumours. Of royal descent, aren't they?" Hamfast humphed.

"Yeah, so what?" Bella placed her hands on her waist.

"Dwarves and Elves and Dragons and such. What do we have to do with such things? Tatters and tomatoes are better for us Bella. Don't go get mixing in the business of your betters or you'll land in trouble too big for you!"** Hamfast wised and his critical eyes pierced through the royal couple.

"Oh! Shut up Hamfast and turn your head the other way if you don't approve of what you are seeing. As for me, I will mix with whomever I want, understand?" she leaned towards him menacingly.

Eilin snorted and pulled Thorin up by the hand.

"It's that Baggins. He's always bringing shadowy people in our lands. First that wizard, then Dwarves, then will come Elves and in the end we'll get visits from the Black Riders themselves, you mark my words woman!" Hamfast continued his tirade, but did open the door to go into his home.

Eilin's arms wrapped under Thorin's armpits and grasped his shoulder-blades tightly. He enclosed her cordially to his heart.

"Don't mind him my dear Eilin. He's always grumpy about something even though he's still relatively young."

"No problem miss Bella." Eilin waved at her.

"I am sorry Sir," Bella said to Thorin with a respectful bow.

Thorin inclined his head majestically, but remained silent as Bella got lost into her home.

After a few silent moments Thorin spoke into Eilin's hair. "Well that dismantled Bilbo's notion that the Shire is full of non judgemental peaceful hobbits that mind their own business."

Eilin giggled and rubbed his back firmly. "That's a dream. People like poor Hamfast can be found everywhere, but one should not judge him either. He probably sees trouble in us. Is he so wrong? Look at your life...trouble pours out of your ears. Your name spells trouble backwards, forwards and sideways..."

Thorin huffed, "Alright, alright, enough..."

She snuggled against him. "And I love your trouble. Can't live without it."

Thorin leaned his cheek on her soft red curls. His fingers drew firm circles on the small of her waist. "Loa told me you wanted to fix me some breakfast, but I don't want you to get tired."

That animated Eilin who pulled back surprised. "Oh damn! Forgot about that one completely! I went to the market to buy you fresh eggs, bacon, cheese and bread. Are you hungry?"

He bit his lower lip. "I am famished."

Eilin laughed and grasped his hand. "Come I'll make you the best breakfast you've ever had," and she pulled him into Bilbo's home.

* * *

It was close to afternoon when the door of Bilbo's home opened up again. Eilin came out first pulling Thorin by the hand. She had indeed cooked him not only a hefty breakfast of eight eggs, ham, sausages and cheese, which he devoured, but also lunch which he also ate to the last morsel. She helped him bathe and then led him again to the bedroom where she forced him to take a nap even though Thorin insisted that he couldn't sleep anymore. She rebuked his refusal by telling him that it was a law here at Hobbiton that everyone should sleep at least a while after lunch. He didn't believe her, but he burrowed under the quilt and embraced her snuggly. The last thing he had been expecting was for his eyes to close down quickly and allow him to be drawn into another restful sleep until late afternoon.

Now as Eilin opened up the gate of Bilbo's porch and pulled Thorin onto the gravel path he felt more rejuvenated than he had ever felt in his life. She clasped his hand tightly and began hopscotching down the path like a young girl. That made his heart smile. "You look so carefree here."

She stopped her spirited walk and aligned with him. Her other hand circled around his forearm and her head leaned on his deltoid. "This village is made out of dreams. Don't even think about Hamfast and his grumbling this morning. Most people are so friendly and approachable. It's so quiet and peaceful. You wake up in the morning by the roosters and when you come out the door and sit on the bench with a cup of tea you can hear the birds singing as the village slowly wakes up. Children are playing, carriages are passing by to sell you fish or meat, neighbours are talking with each other, dames are hanging their clothes to dry out, dogs are barking..."

"I get it," he chuckled and his free hand came up to encircle hers that was occupying his arm. "It's irresistible."

"Don't you feel so too? You've slept so well here, you look so well rested." She gazed up at him affectionately.

His lips twisted and he inclined his head. "I cannot deny that this place has a way of settling the worries in my mind. I am left with no wish to fight against anyone."

"Good!" She beamed up to him.

He pressed his lips. "Unfortunately though Eilin I am not a carefree dweller of these rolling hills, minding my tomato patch or my tatters..."

She cupped her mouth and giggled. "You could be!"

"I could be, but must I?" he raised his brows.

Her lips lost their smile and twisted thoughtfully.

"There are things askew in this world and it is up to me to straighten them out." his brow clouded.

She bit both lips and her eyes fixed on him. "Your fight isn't over yet is it?"

"Our fight isn't over...there are things you don't know. Important matters that are taking place back in Erebor and need my attention." His voice fell.

She felt her throat drying out. Even the thought of returning to the place that caused her so much pain caused her nervousness. "Matters I don't want to know about..."

He stopped and looked down at her solemnly. "Is that why you never asked me the questions I've been preparing to answer through my whole trip here?"

She nodded and averted her eyes. "Yes. I don't want to know if the truth was revealed to you about me Thorin by someone. I don't want to know who created this web of lies in order to destroy us. I don't want to have to go back to Erebor in order to face any of that. I just want to be here with you, free of all doubt and fear. Just you, me and our child. A new beginning." Her hand searched for his and their fingers steepled tightly.

He brought her hand to his mouth and placed a soft kiss on it's back. "I cannot hide here with you my love no matter how much I wish for it, at least not yet."

"You abdicated, nothing can keep you chained to Erebor now...right?" her green eyes were eating him up with a silent fear.

"My abdication does not eradicate my order of command in the Lonely Mountain. I am still one step under the King."

She frowned. "Thorin I don't think I want to return..."

He pressed her hands. "Nor does our need to escape the nightmare we've been through eradicates the fact that your best friend Rhiannon is currently under Oin's care and waiting impatiently to see you again."

She looked up sharply at that and yelped. "What?!"

A small smile appeared on his lips. "Your friend Rhiannon was one of the witnesses to reveal Karunn's plot to destroy us."

Eilin's bright countenance on hearing the name of her best friend was tainted when she heard those words. "Why are you revealing to me things I don't want to know...not about Rhiannon...but the rest...Thorin don't..."

He pressed her hands again. "She almost killed you and my child and she will pay dearly. I shall not rest until I see her destroyed. I cannot remain in the Shire Eilin as long as Karunn is alive in my stronghold." The pitch of his voice dropped and send ripples of apprehension to Eilin's back.

She swallowed hard and forced herself to look at him. "Is Rhiannon okay?"

"I was notified that she is recovering and asking for you all the time." He rejoined carefully.

Eilin felt a timid wave of anticipation waking up in her stomach. "I want to see her so much. I thought she was dead."

"She almost died, by Karunn's hand." Thorin's jawline flexed.

Eilin shook her head. "No, don't!"

"The same hand that almost killed you and my child. The same hand that almost killed me. The same hand that caused Nyrthrasir to attempt suicide and took the baby out of his wife's womb. That woman needs to be eliminated and I won't rest until I do it. I've seen a lot of darkness in my life, I've fought against the most vile filth, yet this woman is the embodiment of the demon of Morgoth. Him out of whom all evil stems..." He said and the darkness that oozed out of his voice and eyes was terrifying.

Eilin's fingers began shaking. "Why did she do this to us? What have I ever done to her?"

He frowned and his thumb came up to wipe a tear that was sailing down her cheek. "No reason is good enough in my books to make someone create such hateful vengeance to so many people."

Eilin kissed the palm of his hand as it rested on her cheek. "Still what did I do to her?"

"I don't think that demon's revenge was against you my love." He spoke over her.

She raised her pained eyes to him.

"You were just the means for her to get to me...which she managed very well." his brows clouded by dark thoughts.

Eilin released his hands and wrapped her arms around his body. "I don't want you to go back and face her."

His arms enfolded her caringly. "You don't want to leave the Shire do you?"

She shook her head fiercely. "I fear what will happen back in Erebor Thorin. What you have to face with your abdication and with this monster. I fear you will be consumed by all these people again and I will lose you. I cannot handle losing you anymore. Have mercy on me. Erebor will suck my Thorin dry...it will take you away from me." she whispered.

These words reminded him of the day they broke up at his office. When she begged for mercy and his rage was not allowing him to see her pain as his was unbearable enough to blind him. One strong arm kept her close to his heart the other came to caress her belly. "I will not do anything that will displease you my love. If your wish is to remain here blissfully unaware of the trouble in Erebor I will allow you to remain."

"But you will not remain with me right?" her arms tightened around him painfully.

"I will have to return if only temporarily. When I tie up all the loose ends there I will return to find you at the place of your choice." These profound words were spoken with such a hushed tone that she felt her heart stopping.

She pulled back and sought his eyes. "What did you just say?"

"What you heard." He gave her a soft smile and his thumb and forefinger pinched her red cheek gently. "I will return and take abode wherever you choose in order to raise our child in peace."

Her bottom lip began trembling and tears choked her. "You would? Truly?"

He leaned down and captured her lips in a gentle kiss that send a signal of surrender through her body. "Truly. Choose and I shall follow you to the end of the world."

Her arms disengaged his shoulder-blades and came up to run deep through his mane. Her mouth became firmly assertive and gifted him with a frenzied kiss that made him see stars behind his closed eyelids. When she pulled back he was heaving hard upon her mouth. "Wow," he whispered.

She beamed up to him and her fingers clawed his scalp proprietorially. "Not only shall I follow you into Erebor my love, but I will also see and talk to that devil Karunn!"

He frowned at the sudden shift in her. "Eilin you really don't have to do that. Remain here and keep our child safe. Enjoy the peace of the Shire and I will return for you, I promise. Not even death will be able to keep me away from our family."

She closed her eyes and shook her head fervently. "Me and the baby belong with you. No matter my fear of returning to Erebor, I shall stand proudly next to you and face all the difficulties henceforth. I will start that by facing the woman who destroyed us."

His teeth gritted. "No! I don't want you to be in the same room as her."

She pushed him back. "I will ride back with you and I will talk to her. I will ask that accursed -why- into her face and you will allow me to do so. You will allow me this closure, before you bring everything down in a blaze of destruction."

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead on hers possessively. "I don't like this. I don't want to endanger your pregnancy more. Either through a long journey, or with any emotional overload. Nevertheless I will do as you wish my heart. Whatever that is."

Her face mellowed and her fingers entwined through his hair. "Very well then, when do we depart?"

"I was thinking of joining you to the immigration flow that is coming up from the Blue Mountains. It will be much safer for you, than riding along with me and Dwalin on a horse." He exhaled feeling her smooth touch relaxing every single muscle on his body that had tensed up from the conversation about that she-demon.

She shook her head angrily. "Forget it Thorin. I will not be separated from you again! I will ride back on Yrsa."

"Think about your pregnancy..." he lifted his head and his eyes burrowed into hers intensely.

"I am coming back with you. The carriage. We'll use the carriage again. No debate!" she frowned up at him decisively.

A small smile cracked at the side of his lips. "What have I created? Where is the scared little maiden that didn't dare to look me in the eyes that night at the river?"

Her face softened. "You showed her that she doesn't need to be afraid anymore. That she is worthy to be loved and cared for. That she can indeed win over the love of such a man as you and sustain it with her value. That even though she was born to unknown parents and lacks the proper heritage her self worth will not be defined by that. You showed me how to become strong Thorin and I love you for that. I love you for everything."

He closed his eyes with sigh of relief. "About your heritage...I might need to discuss that with you at some point." the words were spoken carefully, making her smile.

"What did you dig up about me?...I don't care about it. I belong to the Longbeards now. Nothing can change that." she touched his temples lovingly.

He smiled brightly. "I love you so much. You and the child in you. I never felt that I would be worthy of such treasures."

"Why not be worthy? Oh, Thorin...learn how to forgive yourself. Let me teach you how to do it, like you have taught me how to be fearless...most of the times..." she giggled in an afterthought.

He chuckled. " Most of the times?"

She nodded. "I am still scared of many things. I am scared of going back to Erebor and losing you to all these people that demand a part of your attention all the time. I am afraid of facing the demon who almost destroyed us. I am afraid of the rejection I am going to get from most people there for ever daring to claim their King. I am afraid of being a mother..."

He frowned and his palm rested lovingly on her neck warming her up. "You fear motherhood?"

She nodded fiercely and he found the lost look in her eyes utterly adorable. "I am more afraid than I have ever been in my life but also so excited! I am carrying the heir of Durin! How about you my fearless warrior? Doesn't that sound daunting for you?! Are you ready to become a father?"

He grinned and bit his lower lip. "I've been ready all my life."

She laughed and came up to rub her cheek firmly on his chin. "See? You are teaching me again how to be fearless. Therefore allow me to teach you how to forgive yourself."

"How would you do that?"

"By showing you how worthy you are of forgiveness. For everything that happened in your past or between us." She whispered.

He nodded gently and his arms enclosed her tightly on his body. "Thank you my precious." She snuggled on the croon of his neck and their fingers steepled as they walked quietly through the beautiful gravel paths of Hobbiton for a long time. When finally she sat down on the grass of a rolling hill that overlooked the lake and pulled him down with her, the stars had already made their appearance in the sky. She inhaled deeply and browsed the lights coming out of the hobbit holes, their porches and from the fishing boats in the lake. Thorin's attention on the other hand was drawn to a porch close by where a Hobbit had set up a small forging station and was trying to fix a tool for his shed.

She looked back and smiled. "What are you looking at?"

"He'll never be able to forge that hoe. His grip on the hammer is all wrong and the metal is not heated enough." He rejoined thoughtfully.

"Will you truly spend this magical evening scrutinising the forging ability of a hobbit instead of enjoying these magical lights with me?" she sounded piqued.

He looked at her with an adorably uncertain smile. "Forgive me."

She bit her lower lip and laid down on the grass. Then she reached up and cupped his nape, pulling him down on her. "Sometimes there are things that you cannot fix Thorin, you need to learn how to let go of them. What if that Hobbit cannot forge? He'll either learn or he won't, but that's not your responsibility. Let go. You don't need to intervene and save the day for everyone." She whispered.

He swallowed a suddenly dry throat and kissed her lips softly. His fingers caressed the side of her waist as his hushed voice spoke, "as you command my lady." She smiled and allowed herself to float free under him. She had missed so much his furious kisses and his beloved scent. His broad chest pinning her against the ground and his assertive fingers that were making their presence known under her puffy skirt as they skimmed on the smooth skin of her thigh. Soon enough her chest was heaving as his lips were coasting the smoothness of her bosom, playing around with her diamond necklace. Her fingers entwined through his mane and she crushed her lips onto his pointy ear. "I want to make love to you so bad right now."

He chuckled and pulled back. His eyes were dilated and he was slightly out of breath. She didn't doubt that if her hands planed down the front of his trousers she'd feel his erection throbbing. She tried to act on her thoughts, but his hands released her thighs and came down to encircle her wrists. He brought them up and pinned them at the sides of her head.

"Oh, I like your rough side, remember?" she cooed with delight.

He shook his head. "Not today young lady."

"Ohhh, why?" she whined and kicked her legs angrily.

"Because we won't do anything to endanger the baby. Your pregnancy has been through enough already." He raised his brow austerely.

She released her hands from him and frowned. "You mean I have to wait another six months to have you?"

His lips twisted into a side smile. "We both have to wait if that's any consolation. I asked Loa and she advises against any intimacy."

"She told me already. So, can you be that patient?" she bit her lower lip and playfully ran her finger down his open tunic, tracing the dove tattoo.

He nodded casually. "I am sure I can. How about you?"

She huffed and slapped his chest. "Thorin you are pissing me off..."

He leaned back to the grass and pulled her on him. She rested her head on his shoulder. "Calm down men gehyith. We have plenty of time for this. Let's take care of what is most important now."

The comfort she felt there in his arms under the stars was indescribable. She would change it for nothing in the whole wide world. "Let's do that my love." They remained silently embracing listening to the sounds of a village that was getting ready for the night when out of nowhere a soft voice from far away lulled them both free of every thought.

_"When the cold of winter comes_

_Starless night will cover day_

_In the veiling of the sun_

_We will walk in bitter rain_

_But in dreams_

_I can hear your name_

_And in dreams_

_We will meet again_

_When the seas and mountains fall_

_And we come, to end of days_

_In the dark I hear a call_

_Calling me there,_

_I will go there_

_And back again" *_ **

 

* * *

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> * The Realm of the Fallen King - BrunuhVille
> 
> ** A small easter egg for whomever recognised it.
> 
> *** The Breaking of the Fellowship - Howard Shore


	53. The mirror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if my editing is worse than it usually is, but I worked on a different pc and I am not home and I am knackered. :(

 

* * *

They remained in the Shire for three more days by Thorin's decision. He just couldn't get enough of how much this village suited Eilin's disposition and how happy she looked when she was here. Yearning to sustain that happiness for her as much as he could he overlooked the demanding situations back in the Lonely Mountain, just to see her smile. Finally after three days where he kept reassuring her that they were going to leave soon, but always postponed, she took the initiative to arrange their things in the carriage that brought her to the Shire. It was her turn to tell him with a serious countenance that it was time for them to face their demons together. That she feared nothing as long as he was next to her. Her initiative warmed his heart and he felt a fierce protectiveness of her and their child. He took over all the arrangements forcing her to sit aside and do absolutely nothing. That annoyed her to no end, but she knew he was trying to keep her safe, so she allowed him to take control. At the beginning of the fourth day, just before departing they were surprised when an escort of ten royal guards arrived at Bilbo's home.

The small delay in their departure had been not only to allow Eilin the pleasure of experiencing the Shire a bit more, but to also command a squad from his guard that had remained back in the Blue Mountains as a royal escort for Eilin. He wanted to ensure that their passage would be safe and untroubled. When she realized that all these armed Dwarfs were there for her, she hid her embarrassment under the heavy tent of their carriage. It was going to take her a long time to get used to this kind of attention and she wasn't sure she was ever going to make it.

They bid Bilbo and Gandalf a warm farewell with the promise to return after the child was born so they wouldn't force Eilin to travel through harsh conditions in her precarious state. Bilbo was sad they were going to miss the spring fest, but was content enough to know that they promised to return with an adorable baby tagging along. At the beginning of the journey Eilin felt so guilty for discommoding these men, so she kept asking Loa to make them some tea when they stopped for rest.

It was the austere words of Thorin that stopped her. "These men are trained to protect the royal family. Allow them to do their job."

Eilin cowered under the tent with a cringe of regret and allowed Thorin to take command of this journey. It took them not one, but almost three weeks to pass from the Misty Mountains and that was because Thorin didn't want their progression to become too tiresome for Eilin and was stopping every time he had a feeling she was becoming too stiff and bothered.

To the confusion of his soldiers he led the progression through the southern parts of the Midland Ranges which would take them far longer to reach home after entering Rhovanion territory. Something that also captured the interest of Dwalin whom aligned next to Thorin's horse and looked at him intensely for several moments in complete silence.

"What?" Thorin raised his brow.

"We are way too south, what the hell are you doing? I thought you wanted Eilin back in Erebor as soon as possible." Dwalin said.

"Didn't you hear Ási's report?" Thorin pressed his lips and looked back at the carriage that was following them slowly. The tent was protecting Eilin and Loa from the elements, but he didn't feel secure enough to travel during the night. They needed to find shelter soon, especially with all these Orcs that were over running the Brown Lands near Helm's deep.

"Wargs were growling too close to our camp last night...yes...so what?" Dwalin flicked his shoulders.

"We are not alone on this trip Dwalin. It's not just me, you and a bunch of soldiers. I've got my wife and unborn child in that carriage. Not to mention Lis' mother, whose husband died in my bloody arms." Thorin rebuked dourly.

"I am aware of the danger that is why I would have preferred the shortest way to Erebor, not the longest." Dwalin rejoined.

Thorin humphed. "That would have been following the path of that pack of Wargs...plus..."Thorin hesitated and shifted uncomfortably upon his horse.

"Plus?" Dwalin raised his brow.

"Elrond tried to lure us into Rivendell,when we traveling towards the Shire. Did you forget?" Thorin mentioned with a flick of his brow, as if Dwalin should have realized sooner what he had been doing.

Recognition dawned on Dwalin's features. "Oh, damn. Are you trying to avoid Lord Elrond?"

"That nosy Elf will take us in the moment we pass through his vicinity and I don't want to travel further up north through the passages of Mount Gundabad. That's asking for trouble."

Dwalin nodded. "Now you are passing too close to Lórien, though."

"The Lady of the woods isn't as meddling as Elrond. We'll have a much quieter passage through here, I am sure." Thorin rejoined thoughtfully.

Dwalin sighed and looked around him as they were nearing the river Nimrodel, but was not as certain as his friend. He refrained from speaking more though as they neared a cluster of trees and decided to make camp. It was way into the night when Thorin climbed into the carriage and drew the tent closed behind him carrying a bowl of stew for her. He remained next talking quietly as his guards arranged their own small tents. When she finished and gave him back the food he cringed clearly dissatisfied.

"Why don't you eat some more?" He said and cleared some tendrils away from Eilin's cheek.

"Honestly I cannot. I've eaten enough for two..." she raised her brows at him.

He pursed his lips. "You need nourishment...for two."

"Are you trying to fatten me up?" she smirked.

He discarded the plate and then pushed her down. He came over her and gazed at her eyes lovingly. "It would fit you rather well actually..."

"Thorin come on..." she hit his shoulder.

"I am just worried that you look so fragile and thin. You need strength for yourself and for the baby." He frowned down at her.

She pulled him down and pecked his lips softly. "I feel fine my love. You don't allow me to do any manual labor, you don't allow me to ride and you barely allow me to walk. I am not a made out of glass...you know."

He closed his eyes delighting in the softness of her lips and reciprocated her gentle kiss for a few moments before pulling back. "You are already laboring for the health of our child, what more do you wish to do?"

"I don't know...like maybe you'd give me the opportunity to go out tonight with Loa and cook for you?" she twisted her elegant fingers around his warrior braid.

"No way..." he scowled.

She threw her head back and exhaled. "See? I want to do things Thorin! I am not an invalid. I am just pregnant!"

His nose nuzzled close to the soft skin of her neck and she instantly tensed. "I am aware and I will not deny you the opportunity to do whatever you wish back in Erebor, but during this journey I want you to sit back and rest. These rough roads are not easy on your body and I don't want to risk your pregnancy for anything in this world. It has gone through hell already. A hell I've placed you in." As he spoke she felt each breath of his sending goosebumps down her back. Her feet curled inwards instinctively.

"Please stop swimming in guilt..." her fingers pulled him closed to her by one braid until her other hand got hold of the other and did the same.

"No one shall risk your health and the health of our Little Gem. Remember what I told you?" He said quietly and when he felt her fingers pulling him roughly on her, he opened up his mouth and nibbled her hungrily.

She exhaled in bliss and her legs wrapped around his hips. "I know you are doing this to protect me, but I feel like I am suffocating..."

His tongue came out and drew slow wet paths along her neck until it reached the top of her chest where he lingered, enjoying how quickly it was undulating under him. "Suffocating?" he whispered.

She muffled a moan and nodded. "I need freedom."

"You'll have it back home, but not out here with hoards of Orcs and men of questionable ethics and intentions, roaming free."

"Who would dare approach our caravan tell me? You've got fifteen ruthless soldiers armed to the teeth and your reputation proceeds you." She whispered and flushed her body up to his wanting to show him her need. She knew he told her that they shouldn't risk her pregnancy for anything and he'd shown her his intentions of not becoming intimate, but still she could hope, couldn't she? Hope that in some manner she could lure him in. If not to receive pleasure, then at least to offer. Something that he denied ardently. Her thigh muscles brought him down in order to feel him.

He huffed and his hand sailed down her thigh until his fingers could curl under her knee, keeping her in place. "Eilin, I think that's enough. Both about your alleged freedom that I am suppressing and the fact that you have me in a thigh lock that has almost cut off all my air supply."

She realized that she was squeezing him too hard and released him only slightly making sure he wouldn't pull away completely. Her fingers released his hair and came around his shoulders clawing him roughly. "Okay about the first part, not about the second..." she whispered and found his mouth.

"We are inside a bloody tent, surrounded by my soldiers." He spoke in a hushed tone, but the moment her tongue came out to lick the seam of his lips and her hips rocked against him he closed his eyes with a groan of pleasure.

"We'll be silent," she probed him gently until he opened up for her.

"No risk to your pregnancy...orgasm, convulsions,...Loa...said it..." he spoke softly between the gentle touches of their tongues that got involved in a slow dance of pleasure.

"Fine...I'll do all the work...you make sure you keep silent..." she nipped his lower lip.

His breathy moan of passion sent her mind reeling. "No...forget it."

"You can't be silent?" she whispered and rocked her hips against him so firmly that he reciprocated once before leaning his forehead on her temple out of breath.

"Damn you..." he said defeated.

"You want this as much as I want it..." she whispered.

He shook his head. "I don't take pleasure unless I give it back to you." His words were meant to sound austere, but they sounded thick through his hoarse voice.

"You need me," she hissed at him lustfully.

"What I need to do is get you out of these damned dresses you borrowed from Bella and into something totally unattractive!" He spat truly annoyed with her teasing.

She snorted. "You like them?"

"They make my thoughts go all hazy..." he grumbled.

"Then maybe I can find more dresses to tease you with to see how far you will manage to go before you break for me..." She bit her tongue.

He exhaled through his nose. "Be serious for once. We need to be careful." He pulled back in a desperate need to control himself and her at the same time. He tunneled his fingers through her hair gently wanting to sooth her.

She felt this shift of energy and tried to shake him off. "No, don't turn all fatherly on me now...I can feel your need." Her eyes seared through his and she rocked against him one more time.

He pulled back slightly and closed his eyes. "Do you have the misconception that I cannot control my urges around you? What do you think is most important to me? Pleasure of intimacy, or the pleasure of seeing you well and blooming with our Little Gem safely in your belly?"

Her sexual tension began dissipating under his loving words. She felt her eyes tearing up and she leaned her head back with an exhalation of defeat. "The first?" She teased quietly.

He raised his brow. "The first of course."

She jerked back and her eyes popped open.

A grin appeared on his mouth.

She closed her eyes and bashed his chest. "Oh, come on.."

He snorted and caressed her head firmly. "It is my job to adore and protect your pregnant body like treasure. Not arouse it and have my filthy ways with it now that it is housing our child."

"Nevertheless it is getting aroused only too easily by you." She pressed her lips testily.

"Come let me calm you down my little fiery whirlwind." He smiled at her sweetly.

She relaxed back as he began a smooth massage on her head, something that she adored. Her hands molded his shoulders savoring on their firmness and she closed her eyes abandoning herself to his attentions. She remained silent under him as his hands left her head and came down to her temples. That is when she decided to reveal her thoughts. "I may seem all too eager to become intimate, but I am also afraid, just so you'd know."

"What do you mean?" he frowned momentarily taken aback from his intense concentration on relaxing her.

"It may seem that I cannot control my hormones...which I cannot..." she smiled.

He spoke over her and they said the same thing. "Which you cannot..."

She chuckled and her thighs that hadn't yet released him tightened once more around him. "Stop it..." she warned.

"Fine...continue..." he allowed her with a smile.

Her face fell. "I am afraid of the blood."

He looked up at her sharply and stopped his tender laboring on her biceps.

She opened her eyes. "I am afraid of it so much Thorin."

He swallowed heavily and looked at her cherry lips as she spoke.

"I fear that one day it's going to return and this time the grey wizard won't be there to stop it." She spoke quietly.

"I will be there," he abandoned her arms and his fingers traced down her forearm until they could steeple through hers.

Her hand came up and caressed his forehead. "I know my love. Promise that you will be there for every moment."

"I promise," the look in his eyes was so doting that she felt her heart bursting from happiness.

"Do you think the blood is going to return?" she whispered.

"No" -he said decisively- "because the Little Gem proved its resilience already. It has taken after its mother. I have never met a stronger woman in my life. You entered hell and came out the other side untouched and pure. So did the baby."

Her eyes pooled with tears, but an inviting smile appeared on the hairpin of her lips. "I love you..."

He closed his eyes and huffed. "Me too men gehyith." He pulled her in and buried his face on the croon of her neck as her thighs kept him safely there. One hand remained above hers and the other burrowed between them until he found her bump and stroked it lovingly.

It was thus that Dwalin caught them when he flipped the tent aside. "Thorin I need to talk to you!" Something he hadn't been expecting apparently for he jumped back, threw the tent back in place and averted his eyes. "Damn it! You ass licking bush screwer..." he muttered and rubbed his forehead feeling totally embarrassed at catching his best friend in the act.

Thorin came out of the tent very composed and straightened his tunic and hair. "What is it?"

Dwalin turned around and pointed behind him. "Couldn't you have found a better place to become intimate?"

Thorin frowned. "Get a hold of yourself, it was nothing like that."

Dwalin exhaled through his nose. "That was the last thing I wanted to catch you doing. That image cannot be unseen!"

"You didn't catch me doing anything, now tell me what's up." Thorin said calmly.

Dwalin's eyes woke up in sudden remembrance. "Oh, yeah right. We've got problems."

That is when Eilin poked her head out of the tent. "What's happening Thorin?" she asked worried.

"Please stay in, I will tell you when I find out." He told her and followed Dwalin. The moment they reached the outer protective circle of their camp Thorin saw the trouble first hand. He stopped and crossed his arms with a testy exhalation. "I see."

Dwalin crossed his arms likewise. "It's because coming closer to Lorien was safer than passing closer to Rivendell. Elrond's elves would have tried to lure us in, whilst these ones wouldn't bother." He poked.

Thorin pressed his lips annoyed. "Shut it."

Dwalin raised his brow. "I won't say I told you."

"Then don't!" Thorin rebuked.

The leader of the Elven troops approached. "You have camped very close to Nimrodel, which belongs to our people, Dwarf Lord."

"I am aware, but we didn't do anything to bother your lands. We didn't even hunt your animals." Thorin rejoined calmly.

The Elf bowed his head slightly. "We have witnessed your respect."

"Then why do you bother us?" Thorin frowned.

"My name is Haldir, marchwarden of the Lady of Light."

Thorin raised his brow. "Should I care?"

Haldir continued calmly. "I am here to welcome you to Lothlorien on behalf of Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn, King under the Mountain, King of Durin's Folk and friend of King Thranduil."

Thorin sighed deeply. "Let's overlook all this unimpressive unloading of titles and come down to the nitty-gritty."

Haldir frowned slightly.

"I am not interested in visiting the Lady of Light so let us be on our merry way and you go onto yours." Thorin shooed him indifferently.

Haldir's countenance tensed. "I am afraid I cannot allow you to continue until you follow us to the realm of Light. Orders."

"Of course," Thorin threw his hands in the air and then placed them on his belt. "I don't want to fight you, really. My friendship with Thranduil and my respect for your Lady unfortunately doesn't extend to me being dragged with force to her presence. I follow no one." His brow rose haughtily. Dwalin stiffened next to him and so did all his soldiers.

"We didn't come here with such intentions." Haldir rejoined trying to keep himself in check.

"No, you came here with strict orders for us to follow. If we don't will you return to her empty handed?" Thorin asked him with a tilt of the head.

Haldir hesitated.

"You won't, therefore where does that leave us?" Thorin continued unfazed.

"A fight," Dwalin flicked his shoulders.

Thorin got ready to agree when a melodic voice made him stop. "I want to go my heart, please."

He turned around so fast he got dizzy. Eilin stood there enveloped in a long black coat with golden embroidery on the lapels that bore his sigil on the arms. Her thick reddish hair was flowing freely around her and her cheeks were rosy. His heart mellowed up immediately.

"We need to go back home as soon as possible Eilin." His tone had a hint of warning.

She walked up to him and steepled her fingers through his gently. "I'd like to rest a little bit if these gracious Elves can indeed offer us some shelter."

Haldir touched his chest gently. "That is the wish of the Lady of Light."

Thorin cringed. "Don't get lured in by their ways...we don't want any distractions at the moment."

Her free hand came up to rest on his shoulder and she squeezed gently. "Please my love. I'd so much appreciate a comfortable bed and a quiet night's rest after so many days on the road."

He swallowed heavily and looked back at Haldir who was waiting patiently. Then back at her. "Do you wish for it so much?" he whispered.

She leaned her head on his shoulder and nodded. "I do." Then she drew their joined hands onto her belly. "Please."

He felt his heart already defeated.

Dwalin tried to intervene. "No, Thorin no." Thorin raised his hand and stopped him. Dwalin pursed his lips, but fell silent.

He looked up at Haldir. "Lead us to your lady." He said after a few silent moments.

Haldir inclined his head with a small smile.

* * *

It was impossible to take the Elven paths with their carriage, so Thorin mounted and took Eilin upon his horse. Dwalin helped Loa on his and they followed the Lorien archers with half their troops. The remaining soldiers stayed back to protect the elaborate carriage and their provisions until their return, which Haldir reassured them was going to be whenever they chose. The fell into a single file on very narrow dirt path through a forest that held a vibrant life force inside it. It felt so different from Mirkwood that was dense, difficult to access and felt suffocating. This one was airy and so beautiful that Eilin couldn't stop smiling even though the darkness hid most of its beauty. When upon their path she saw a small cluster of fireflies she squeezed Thorin's arm and turned to look at him above her shoulder.

"Look!" she pointed.

He nodded with a soft smile.

"So beautiful." She whispered. She leaned her head back to his shoulder and observed them nostalgically. The fireflies represented her first real date with Thorin at the enchanted lake. She would never forget that magical night between them, when she danced for him and he admired her bewitched as hundreds of fire bugs flew all around them. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift back to that memory, while the arms of the man she loved were around her.

When they finally entered Lorien they were asked kindly to dismount and their horses were taken away. Eilin clasped Thorin's hand and looked around her mesmerized at the Forest of Light. They stood upon a big wooden platform and they were surrounded by dozens of trees that reached up to the heavens. Their barks were as big as houses and whole corridors and archways had been build around them leading upwards to the safety of the sky. A blue hue was shrouding the realm that instantly calmed down the spirits of Eilin.

"This way, please..." Haldir said and pointed elegantly in front of him.

Thorin inclined his head and looked at Eilin. "Will you be able to climb all the way up?" He looked at that daunting task.

Eilin touched her belly. "More than able..." she smile reassuringly at him and she was the one that moved first, pulling him by the hand. They walked slowly up the winding corridors and Haldir led them towards an intricate flet that was surrounded by brightly lit archways of the same enchanting blue hue. Thorin followed Eilin, mostly keeping his eyes upon her to ensure that she was feeling alright, but when his eyes strayed around he felt his own soul quieting down with a totality he had never experienced before.

He was a man that was usually fully alert. He had been born and bred to be battle worthy every single moment he was awake or even asleep through years of training, nevertheless inside this place he felt all his defenses collapsing and his body unwinding. He looked behind at Dwalin who was escorting Loa. She was looking around her in awe. As for his ever stiff soldiers they had removed their helmets and were admiring the stunning ancient giant trees filled with wonder.

So much was Thorin allured by the elegant architecture that he didn't notice Eilin stopping abruptly and he fell on her, forcing her to take an unwilling step forth.

"Hey!" she scolded in a low tone.

"Sorry," he cringed and then looked up with wide eyes full of admiration.

The Lady of Light was already there waiting for them upon the royal flet with her hands crossed and a sweet smile painted on her beautiful lips. Her husband Lord Celeborn was standing next to her in quiet calmness. The very light that was washing over her realm seemed to emanate from the body of the Lady and Thorin felt his lips parting in amazement. His hand tightened around Eilin's and she reciprocated, but neither could tear their eyes away from Galadriel. Dwalin stood next to Thorin and pulled closer poor Loa who was trembling, securing her. "Steady woman..." he told her and she nodded quickly without removing her eyes from the Lord and Lady that were patiently waiting for everyone to arrive.

Haldir passed in front of them and bowed to Galadriel. "My Lady, King Oakenshield and his company." He moved his hand towards them elegantly.

Galadriel tilted her head gently. "Welcome Thorin the second, King under the Mountain."

Before he had the chance to reply she spoke straight into his mind with a voice that took over every turn and twist in there rendering him mute.

_Welcome father of Durin the deathless..._

He felt his eyes immediately tearing up and his mouth parted in order to take in a quick breath.

 _Son of Durin ..._ he wanted to correct her, but was unable to utter a single word. They kept each other's gaze intensely, until she continued in his mind.

_You faced the evil of the East several times over King Under the Mountain and you prevailed, but the darkness hasn't been eliminated. It shall return and then it will be the turn of your ancestors to fight it. They shall do so courageously and only time will tell if they will prevail also, but they shall step onto the roads you paved for them which will prove far too important for the fate of Middle Earth. You created the Northern Alliance and your heirs shall honor, keep it and embellish it even further. You try to cower away from your own fate, but you won't be able to do so for much longer. It awaits for you on the third ring of the trumpets...embrace it.  
_

Thorin's brows wavered with uncertainty and he felt his hands numbing down, but the Lady withdrew her penetrative stare from him and looked at Eilin sweetly.

"Welcome daughter of Men and Dwarves, Queen Under the Mountain." Galadriel gave Eilin her hand.

Eilin inhaled sharply and looked at Thorin for confirmation.

He smiled and squeezed her hand, but he still felt lost in thought as he tried to make sense of the Lady's words. When Eilin's other hand was captured by Galadriel she felt her heart overflowing with so much love and acceptance that her eyes teared up.

"Thank you..." she faltered.

 _You have beauty incomparable. The wisdom of Vala Aule has blessed your birth. You have suffered much and you are weary, but rest is not in your fate. You have chosen motherhood. You have allowed your heart to roam these lands outside your body till the time comes for you to pass from this world. Fear not though for you have unlimited strength emanating from within, but also standing next to you. -_ Eilin turned and looked at Thorin and her heart filled with love- _Embrace your fate daughter of Dwarves and Men for it is brilliant and will shine so bright that it will light up the path of many future generations. You are the unique amalgamation that will enlighten Middle Earth. You will be looked upon as the one leading the future, for you have been chosen to mother mighty sons and daughters. May the star of Eru continue to shine your path._

Eilin wiped a stray tear that run down her cheek and looked at Thorin again. He was gazing at her carefully trying to understand why she was so emotional all of a sudden. She shook her head and smiled. "I am okay," she reassured him.

Galadriel turned her benevolent gaze upon Dwalin. "Welcome brave and courageous Son of Fundin."

Dwalin pursed his lips and bowed his head.

 _Protector of the weak and of the strong alike. The fire that burns in your heart is unstoppable. You may feel like you have found your purpose next to the mighty Kings that rule Middle Earth, but your fate holds more adventures upon which you shall claim the honor to lead other Kingdoms, recently abandoned and make them flourish under your command. You shall live long enough to face the darkness of the east once more and the bravery of yourself and of your heirs will assist the alliance of the west. The strength that resonates from within shall be needed by those you are currently supporting but hurry not. Time will be needed...for everything to unfold ..._ Dwalin looked at Loa whom he was supporting with a deep confused frown.

Galadriel then turned to Loa who was trembling and she instinctively squeezed Dwalin's hand. "Welcome daughter of Eilívur."

Loa felt her breath catching. "How did you know? I never spoke of my father's name..." she muttered.

The Lady smiled softly down at the dwarrowdam.

_You've lost the love of your life in fire and ash, but his death hadn't been for naught. It ignited another fire into the heart of a mighty daughter who will leave her own legacy under the Mountain. Don't weep for the loss of a life, instead rejoice for the weaving of a scared path in front of your daughter's feet. She would have never come across mighty Kings and Queens hadn't it been for the brave sacrifice of your husband. Everything happens for a reason daughter of_ _Eilívur. Your family's name shall henceforth go down in history alongside legendary names of Middle Earth. Take the support that shall be offered when the time comes..._

Loa cupped her mouth and a loud sob escaped her. Thorin and Eilin turned at her worried, but it was Dwalin that steadied her. "Calm down dear woman...she does that. She speaks into everybody's mind. I swear she wishes to drive us all mad." Dwalin sounded annoyed.

Galadriel looked at everybody in the eyes calmly and smiled sweetly. "Welcome to the realm of Light. May you find rest here where rest cannot be found anywhere else in Middle Earth." She offered.

Thorin inclined his head majestically. "I will only require a room for my wife as her fragile condition doesn't allow her anymore hardships. Her pregnancy had been risked more than once already."

Galadriel looked at the marchwarden. "Lead the Queen to one of our most quiet rooms. Give her care to Elbereth."

Haldir nodded and raised his hand for Eilin to follow him. Thorin clasped her hand and passed next to Galadriel when her ethereal hand fell onto his shoulder. "Forgive me for speaking so little to you, King Under the Mountain for we have more to say to each other."

"I assure you I mind not. Thank you for allowing this rest for Eilin."

Galadriel raised her brow gently, but didn't say anything more as they followed Haldir.

The Lady gave rooms to everyone, even the soldiers, ample food and the opportunity to bathe and change clothes. Something that Eilin took eagerly. After so many days on the road she hadn't had the opportunity for a good bath. The Elven lady Elbereth who proved to be one of the best midwives of the realm of Light offered to bathe Eilin and help her, but she denied.

She asked for Thorin to assist her and he did so eagerly. He cleaned her with care and took a long time washing her hair and combing through them with a reverence that she would never be able to get used at. Eilin changed into one of the semi transparent airy nightgowns that Elbereth gave her and ate a light dinner with Thorin as they discussed in quiet tones about the beauty of this place and about the words that Galadriel has spoken into their minds. Eilin told him every word, he told her few. When they were finished he noted that Eilin's eyes were drooping and led her to the beautiful bed. He covered her up and upon request he embraced her as the bewitching voices of the elves sang gently outside until she fell asleep peacefully.

_Ai! laurië lantar lassi súrinen,_   
_Yéni únótimë ve rámar aldaron!_   
_Yéni ve lintë yuldar avánier_   
_mi oromardi lisse-miruvóreva_   
_Andúnë pella, Vardo tellumar_   
_nu luini yassen tintilar i eleni ómaryo airetári-lírinen._

At first he thought that sleep would come to him as easily as it did when he was back in the Shire. He closed his eyes expecting to get drawn quickly into the world of dreams, but that proved a much more difficult task than expected. It was as if something was nudging him to remain awake. He tossed and turned, debating on taking a second bath in order to calm down the restlessness of his body for a long time after the elven voices has seized their mesmerising chanting.

When he finally decided to give up on sleep he gave one more careful look at Eilin and closed the door gently behind him. He found himself roaming the realm without knowing where he was going, but not wanting to bother anyone for directions. Just walking amidst those breath taking giant trees and feeling the softness of the breeze on his hair was enough to soothe him down. He wondered if he leaned against one of those huge tree roots, would he be able to sleep? With these thoughts he walked for a long time, truly having no direction until he came out to a small clearing that had a large pedestal in the middle that was entwined with thick foliage.

Thorin's lips parted and his brows came together as he looked around him. He was alone. He approached quietly knowing that he shouldn't be sneaking like this. He placed his hands next to a deep silver plate that was at the top and frowned. It was empty, yet something kept his gaze stuck in it until a well known enchanting voice broke the spell that had taken hold of him.

"Shall you look in, King Under the Mountain?"

He looked up sharply and pulled back so quickly that he almost toppled over. "No...no..." He shook his head and rubbed his forehead. "I am sorry, I don't know what took hold of me. I shouldn't have approached this way."

Galadriel picked a silver jug and filled it up with water from a waterfall that was behind her. She drew near the pedestal and stood in front of it. "Approach." The command was clear and Thorin's nature tried to resist obeying.

He didn't move.

A smile dawned on her lips and his eyes admired her long golden hair with the soft silver tendrils shining through. "Please..." she added.

He felt his heart giving up and moved near the pedestal.

"Do you wish to look?" she smiled.

"There is nothing there, for I looked already." He rejoined quietly.

"There are things to see..." Galadriel drawled.

Thorin scowled and placed his hands on the cold marble.

"Things that were, things that are, and things that may yet be." Her smile seemed untroubled.

He got ready to say that no, there is nothing there, but when the water settled down he saw the first images appearing and he exhaled in disbelief. He looked up at her with a slight frown.

Galadriel pointed back into the mirror. "It holds the answers for you. Not me." she whispered.

Thorin got drawn into the water. He saw his body falling dead up on Ravenhill and witnessed rather indifferently the heartfelt tries of his comrades to bring him back to life under Gandalf's command. When the images changed and showed him Kili's pale mask of death though his composure cracked and allowed threads of renewed despair to slip through. Then it was the turn of Eilin's beautiful face to float into the water as she was leaning above him when he was recovering from his mortal wound. He remembered opening his eyes after eons of oblivion and feeling his heart fluttering with those first timid sparks of admiration. He worshiped her ethereal figure as she danced for him in the burial grounds so alluringly, drawing him away from his darkness with her bright life force, but the beautiful memories weren't to last long. They were followed by the accursed day at his office when he emptied Eilin to the floor, blinded by the pain of her supposed betrayal and his eyes teared up quickly. Seeing what he did to her now that he knew that she was carrying his child slashed his heart mercilessly with sharp daggers of guilt.

Then everything got faded away behind a white mist that revealed a handsome face of a young warrior. He had his dark hair in a loose long braid that was tossed above his shoulder and he was holding in his hand Orcrist. His eyes were bright blue and his beard was long and was held together with a golden bead that had the Longbeard sigil carved on it. The handsome warrior beamed up to him. "Father..." and Thorin discerned with amazement himself opposite the young man. He hadn't aged a single bit except from his hair that had grown more grey than black. He opened up his arms and the young warrior rushed and embraced him fiercely.

Thorin's heart melted and tears ran down his cheeks that he was unable to hide in front of the Lady. He was seeing his son wasn't he? The one that Eilin was carrying in her now and Thorin admired how majestic and mighty his boy looked, but nothing would have stirred his already awoken heart more than the words he spoke onto his son's ear then. "Durin my son..." Thorin's fingers tightened around the basin to keep himself from collapsing and he looked up at Galadriel breathless. The Lady directed his eyes back into the water. Thorin lowered them and counted each wild thud of his heart internally. Durin?...his son? He opened up his mouth confounded and that is when his son pulled back and pointed behind him where a gorgeous young woman stood. She had the same colors as his son, but her eyes were the most beautiful shade of green he had ever seen. Her body was smaller than your average dwarrowdam and her face was completely hairless, much like Eilin's. She waved at him and smiled brightly and then his heart did a somersault of bliss.

"Little Gem?" he whispered.

The young lady beamed and ran up to him. She slipped by Durin and buried herself into Thorin's arms. He squeezed her tight and closed his eyes afraid that he was going to break her. Thorin lifted his eyes and saw two tall shadowy figures standing in the darkness patiently. His eyes got lost and he made to walk towards them, but the mighty hand of Durin clasped his father's wrist and kept him in place. The young woman in his arms didn't allow him to move either.

"Patience father." Durin said solemnly.

"The shadows?" Thorin looked back at his impressive son.

"They are not with us yet...you have to wait." His beautiful lips curled up into a bright smile that resembled the young lady so much.

Before Thorin had the chance to see anything else the image dissolved to give it's place to another one that loosened his legs under him. He saw the pale face of Eilin, still beautiful in death as it was in life. Her hand was protectively around her large stomach that was housing their child, but her heart was not beating anymore. A pool of blood was under her. He felt the pain of that image so deep into his heart that he pulled away with a thundering cry and averted his eyes that were flowing with rivers of tears. He walked quickly down the path and leaned his hand against the bark of a tree trying to get a hold of himself. The image of Eilin's mask of death was enough to undo him. He didn't hear the footsteps behind him, but the voice penetrated his mind that was trying to protect itself from what it had seen last.

"You saw darkness..." Galadriel whispered.

"Why did you show me that?! I didn't ask for it!" he snapped without turning to look at her. He wanted to bury the image of Eilin's death deep into the darkest corners of his mind.

"Yet you did..." Galadriel crossed her arms patiently in front of her.

Thorin turned around furious. "I never asked to see the death of my beloved!" he cried unable to keep a hold of himself.

"What you saw is your past, your future and the fears of your mind. Rest your worries King Under the Mountain. You saw things that have not came to pass, things that could have been...yet have been avoided"

"If I hadn't acted so foolishly none of this would have ever happened...I cannot forgive myself." He whispered and averted his eyes from her, needing to hide the emotions that were plainly obvious for everyone to see at that moment.

"Your beloved is safe..." Galadriel said quietly.

"She could have died...like this..in a pool of blood..." he whispered and clutched his chest feeling the guilt choking him.

Galadriel. "She's alive and blooming."

He closed his eyes.

"When I helped you back in Erebor I saw an internal fight burning, tearing your heart in two. You and the guilt of the past. That was a different past that you have conquered through, yet now you are repeating yourself. Instead of looming over what could have been, why don't you concentrate on the future, because the mirror showed you part of that also." Galadriel said wisely.

Thorin felt his heart slowly calming down and he turned around. "The young man..."

"The man you saw...yes." Galadriel smiled.

"My son.." Thorin frowned.

"Durin..." she tilted her head.

He shook his head. "That cannot be..."

Galadriel smiled gently. "An ancient soul waiting to be reborn from the loins of a worthy man and a worthy woman."

Thorin didn't answer.

Galadriel crossed her hands. "You hold the future in your hands King Under the Mountain and you have the trust not only of your kin, but also mine."

He swallowed hard. "Thank you..."-She smiled- "for saving my life." He added quickly and searched her eyes.

Galadriel tilted her head softly. "Just a small step of faith towards the trust that can be built between our races King under the Mountain. It's all up to you now."

She kept his eyes for several moments until he had to avert them under her intensity. Then she turned around and left him with silent footsteps that didn't seem to touch the thick foliage of the forest bed. Thorin leaned his body against the tree and his eyes remained upon the marble pedestal for a long time as he tried to put the images he saw and his thoughts in order. When he felt that there was nothing else down there for him he tried to find his way back to his rooms.

When he closed the door behind him quietly he leaned on it and looked at the bed where Eilin slept carelessly. She had turned in her sleep and the silver quilt was tangled between her legs. Her thin nightgown had revealed part of her smooth thigh and her breath was steady and deep. He didn't want to bother her repose nevertheless the image of her dead face came to undo him once more.

He neared the bed and sat down next to her, longing to dissipate the image of her demise by admiring her beautiful face in sleep. He touched her temple gently and felt her steady heartbeat under his finger tip. Something that comforted him beyond any words could describe. Just having her there under his hands alive made the grim outcome of her death a distant memory that he didn't want to be reminded of. She could have died along with their baby alone in the Shire, yet she didn't.

She was still there alive and warm under his fingers. Sleeping tranquilly, bereft of his distress. His fingers sailed past her forehead and slipped down her perfect nose until the caught the softness of her mouth. His thumb skimmed along the seam of her parted lips and he closed his eyes wanting to feel the warmness of her breath on his skin. When he was satisfied he moved his forefinger down her chin and past her smooth neck until he could place his palm on the center of her chest between her full breasts that peaked timidly behind the see through material of her nightgown. On any other occasion his throat would have grown dry from that sensual image of her half naked body, but tonight he simply felt blessed to feel her thudding heartbeat under his palm. He counted those beats up to a hundred and only then he felt satisfied enough to move his palm subtly down her ribs that were too prominent for his taste and past her flat stomach until he could touch the firmness and fullness of her baby bump.

He remembered the words Galadriel had spoken to Eilin. That she was chosen to mother mighty sons and daughters and a shudder of exhilaration ran down his spine. A handsome warrior and an astounding young lady. A spitting image of him and Eilin. Was there a daughter also? Was there going to be one maybe later on? What were those other two shadows that he had to wait for?

After everything he had seen he felt more confused than enlightened about Eilin's pregnancy. Without wanting to come into any conclusions just yet, but with the seed of many beautiful possibilities already planted deeply into his mind he leaned down and his lips rested on her bump offering their child a tender kiss as his thick long mane covered her hips like a blanket. He touched his forehead to her belly and closed his eyes. "Will I be indeed blessed to meet you?" he whispered at her belly and remained there for several moments, feeling that firmness elating his heart to the highest heavens.

Should he really care who was in there? If it was the ancient spirit of Durin or the most beautiful, yet frail young lady he had ever seen? It was his child and his heart was already beating hard for it. When he pulled back his eyes fell adoringly on Eilin's long silky thigh that was exposed. His fingers rushed to delight at its softness until they got hold of the airy nightgown between forefinger and thumb. He pulled it down and covered her up respectfully. He stood up and drew the quilt over her making sure she was well tucked in before he went around the bed and took off his boots and tunic. He then lay above the quilt and turned to look at the back of her head. He reached up and captured her long red warrior braid between his fingers. He twisted it gently around and moved his fingers through it concentrating on that sensation alone and nothing else until his fingers caught his golden bead at the end.

Just before he had the opportunity to close his eyes she stirred and turned around in her sleep. She tossed the quilt off her body and her nightgown climbed up to her bottom as she pulled herself up to him. She burrowed into his arms and her hand cupped his neck as her forehead butted his collarbone. She inhaled deeply, exhaled and her breathing became steady again. His arms lingered momentarily away from her body before they came down and drew her in fervently. He closed his eyes and exhaled a whole bout of relief as his lips found her forehead and offered it myriads of small pecks of adoration. One hand followed the small of her waist and took hold of the hem of her nightgown, bringing it down upon her naked thigh. Then he tucked the quilt once more around her and settled on the pillow. That is how sleep found him. With Eilin buried deep into his arms and his mind overflowing by the images he had seen in the mirror of Galadriel.

* * *

 


	54. Thrice will the trumpets ring

 

* * *

Three days later they departed from the Elven realm and Eilin was quick to start complaining about her freedom again. She wanted to cook for him and the soldiers, and help Loa with the washing of their clothes. Though this time instead of forcing her to immovability he allowed her some freedom, although he insisted that she remained close to the camp and always be escorted by two guards. She told him to forget it, but Thorin coaxed her grumpiness away with endless patience behind the closed tent. He managed to ease her up so much that in the end she began to enjoy his attentions and the long rests he was forcing them to take in order to not tire her out. She did cook for him and on occasion washed his clothes though. When he caught her and got ready to chastise her, it was her turn to coax his annoyance away by wrapping her fingers around his braids and pulling him down for a kiss. Thanking him for allowing her to do this small little thing for him, even if it was just a fraction of what he was doing for her everyday.

Thorin led them slowly northeast through Rhovanion and it took them several days to see the East Bright. When the Blue Mountain guards saw the clearing they pointed happily. "The narrows of the forest! Look the Mountain is at the distance!" They erupted in happy exclamations in Khuzdul alerting a sleeping Eilin that something was up. She pulled back the tent to see Thorin smiling down at her.

"We are home." He told her with a stunning smile that echoed in his eyes and when she gazed at the peak of the Lonely Mountain she felt her heart warming up.

The blizzard had finally subsided, leaving behind a soft snowfall. The grey clouds were not so dense anymore, but Eilin couldn't see patches of blue sky behind them like she did at the Shire. She helped Loa bring down the tent so she could enjoy the snowfall and Thorin delighted in the pleasure he witnessed in her features. Every doubt that he felt back in the Shire that she'd never look this happy in Erebor got dispersed when they reached the high road of the River Running. Her face was calm and content as she was enjoying the snowflakes cooling her skin. Any lingering suspicions that Eilin didn't see Erebor as her home got faded away the closer they were getting to the Mountain.

They continued in high spirits until the fires at Erebor's gates could be seen clearly. Thorin's attention was drawn to a flock of crows that was circling above them. He smiled contently at Dwalin who reciprocated. What drew all of them out of their calm contemplations was the marshalling of the royal guards at the sides of the road close to the gates. Thorin scowled and offered Dwalin a guarded look which his friend answered by a careless flicking of his shoulders. "I have no idea." He said even though Thorin didn't speak at all.

He tightened his hands on the reins and looked at the carriage that was next to him. Eilin was trying to gather their things with the help of Loa totally unbothered. It was the ringing of the trumpets that finally drew her attention as they approached. Thorin raised his hand and stopped the progression. His eyes looked at the gates that seemed empty on the outside and held his breath. The trumpets rang again and the royal guards presented arms.

"Twice?" He whispered and looked back at Dwalin who was sitting on his horse calmly.

When the trumpets rang a third time a ghostly smile appeared on Dwalin's lips. "Thrice will the trumpets ring to welcome home the King." He rejoined.

Thorin fixed his stern gaze on him.

"What is happening?" Eilin's quiet voice drew Thorin's eyes away from Dwalin.

He shook his head uncertain and signalled the guards to start the progression again. With his heart thudding and his stomach in tight knots he arrived at Erebor's gates and dismounted. The guards opened up the doors for him and pulled aside. The lieutenant cried out. "Present arms for the King!" and all the troops did so.

Eilin's lips parted and she frowned. "Thorin, what King are they talking about?" She muttered and looked around her as nervousness began dawning in her beautiful face.

"Eilin, I don't know..." he spoke in a hushed tone, but his eyes were drawn inevitably beyond the gates. The grand antechamber was full of solemn faces that were waiting patiently.

Dwalin came next to him. "You want me to take care of Eilin for you?"

Thorin shook his head and turned at the carriage where an apprehensive Eilin was looking at him. He came around the side and offered his hand.

Her scared eyes were gazing terrified at the huge gates. "Are you sure we must go in?"

"Do you suggest we make a run for it?" He raised his brows.

She nibbled her bottom lip. "A u-turn doesn't sound bad to me."

His mouth gave her a lopsided smile. "Oh come on, where is your fearlessness? Do you reserve this rude bravado only for me?"

She exhaled in defeat and looked at his hand that was still extended. "Wrong time to tease me, I swear."

"Very well then. Do me the honour of escorting me inside, my lady." He inclined his head majestically and Eilin's stomach bubbled up. She stood up and tried to find a way to dismount from the side, but he surprised her by sweeping her up in his arms easily and making her yelp.

"Oh..." she whispered and her cheeks flushed red.

Thorin turned to Loa who was fidgeting, all this time trying to catch his eyes. "Go and find your daughter woman." He commanded. Loa screeched and jumped off the carriage with the stealth of a young woman, not giving Dwalin the opportunity to help her down, although he tried. She was the first one to dash in through the gates and another scream of happiness echoed from inside, a much younger one. Thorin placed a gentle kiss on Eilin's neck and his fingers skimmed down her back with a soft caress. "You want me to carry you inside?"

She cringed and pushed him back in sudden realisation. "Oh, no put me down. I am so sorry, I forgot for a brief moment where we are...That's what you do to me."

He placed her down. "Your awkwardness is always there to save my sanity," he raised his brow.

"Be serious. Look at how many people are expecting you, look at their grim faces..." Eilin turned to the open gates and quivered nervously.

As his brows clouded, Eilin instinctively fell behind him. He turned above his shoulder. "What are you doing?"

She opened her mouth to answer, but didn't know what to say, so she raised her shoulders timidly.

He extended his hand. "You are not my maiden anymore if you haven't noticed. Walk next to me." He told her sternly.

She placed her trembling hand in his and allowed him to lead her inside the gates. The grim faces that stared at them seemed frozen in time as Thorin boldly entered Erebor with Eilin by his side. He stopped in the middle of a round opening truly impressed by how many people were gathered at the main cavern. It was filled to the brim. Every corridor, staircase and alcove was full of commoners, soldiers and workers of every trade trying to catch a glimpse of him.

He saw dwarves holding musical instruments, dwarrowdams holding baskets of food and clothing, miners hanging from staircase bannisters still holding a chisel in their hands as they tried to get a better look. He saw soldiers of every rank mingling with the masons, the minstrels and the well dressed scribblers with the elaborate beard braids. He saw the dirty delvers in the back jumping up and down to have a better look and some of them hanging by ropes from the high columns, earning for themselves the best seats for the show. He saw children carried on their fathers shoulders waving at him with a bright smile and mothers slapping their wrists for ever daring to express themselves so freely to the fallen King.

He saw elders being supported by the help of their sons and daughters as they tried to keep their trembling heads up long enough to see Thorin the second returning home...and in the frontlines he saw his family. Dis who was holding her mouth as tears streamed between her fingers and his boy Fili standing majestically in front of the six family Lords. He saw his loyal company at the sidelines and his eyes passed from every beloved face, warming up his heart. Gloin and Dori offered him the biggest smiles. He saw Balin's tearstained face and appreciated the soft nod of loyalty from his advisor more than any spoken words could express at the moment. He felt the silent excitement of everybody in the cavern deep in his bones and Eilin felt it with him.

"Good evening." His rich voice reverberated and sent a wave of murmurs rippling through the crowd.

His voice energised Dis who ran like the wind and fell on him with such fervour that he almost lost his grip of Eilin's hand who tried to pull back in order to allow him that personal moment with his family. Instead of releasing Eilin's hand though he clasped it tightly and secured her in his arms right next to his sister. He planted warm kisses on Dis's cheeks. "Hi gerbil."

"Are you okay wolf? Tell me you are alright, please." Dis's mouth latched onto his cheek and didn't let go no matter Thorin's tries to make her pull back.

"I am really well..." He spoke in a hushed tone.

Dis clutched his shoulder desperately and her other arm came around Eilin to draw her in. "Eilin my love, are you alright?! Did the crow speak of the truth?! Is the baby alright?!" Dis was barely able to speak from the sobs that were raking her chest.

"It's fine my lady..." Eilin tried to reassure her.

Dis buried her weeping face into the croon of Thorin's neck and pulled Eilin close, planting a wet kiss on her forehead. "My sister...my niece, my brother." She stammered feeling her knees weak.

"It might be a nephew..." Thorin's lips curled up as he tried to soothe down his sister's worry and Eilin smiled.

Dis wiped her face on his tunic making him cringe and slapped his shoulder. "Niece or nephew I don't care! I only care you are all alright! I almost died of fear and worry...what you did in Dol Guldur..."

Thorin's brows creased. "Not now...silence gerbil."

She looked up at him lost and his eyes penetrated hers in a silent warning. His fingers tightened on her back.

Dis tried to clean her face. "Nothing else matters, you are right. Only that you are both well..." She looked at Eilin who smiled.

She clasped Dis' hand and led it down to her belly, that by now had formed a rather noticeable bump. Dis' face displayed an array of emotions that was too tense to hide.

"My love...oh my love!" She whispered and rubbed her fingers firmly on Eilin's belly.

"We are all fine. All three of us my lady," Eilin continued her reassurances as Dis emptied all her relief on Thorin's broad chest.

He cringed and gritted his teeth. "Can you please get a hold of yourself? We are being watched by half of Erebor..." He chastised gently.

"I don't care! Let them watch me break down on you! I have my family back! Nothing else matters!..." Dis beamed up to him through her tearstained face. Then she looked at Eilin and pulled her into a fierce embrace that almost choked the poor girl.

Nothing would have been able to stay Dis' affectionate onslaught on her brother and sister-in-law, except from a new unexpected addition that pulled the tight embrace of the trio apart. Thorin felt the small wiry arms wrapping around his waist and looked down to see a grinning Lis gazing up to him with devotion. "Hi Sir! I am so happy you are back!"

Loa was weeping tears of joy as she watched her daughter trying to burrow between the King and his family. Dwalin stood next to her, keeping his eyes worriedly on Lis' mother. Thorin's arm came around Lis' shoulders heavily, making her knees buckle. "Hello little lady. How are you?"

"I am fine! I fixed everything for you, didn't I? I promised to do it and I did it!"

Thorin frowned confused. "You did?"

Lis opened her mouth to reply, but Dis' gentle hand smoothed away some loose blonde tendrils from the girl's cheekbones. "It was little Lis who heard Rhiannon's confession and ran to notify us, and as you well know it was her that found the woman half dead in the forest."

Thorin's lips pursed. "Indeed. You did exceptionally well Lis. I am very proud of you."

Lis puffed up proudly. "I am protecting you, remember? I am going to take the job of Dwalin you just wait and see! I'll become your bodyguard when I grow older!" Lis gave a warning glance at Dwalin who crossed his arms and exchanged a sweet smile with Loa.

Thorin smiled and pinched her cheek softly. "How about learning to protect the heir to the throne first?" Thorin felt Eilin's arms wrapping around his shoulders. Her face leaned where his shoulder met his neck gently and she offered Lis a sweet smile of accordance.

"That'd be lovely." She whispered.

"I c-an do th-at?" Lis' eyes grew wide.

"You have to be trained first." His brow rose up demandingly.

"Oh! Yes, please! When do we start?!" Lis clapped her hands and several happy murmurs and chuckles echoed in the cavern.

Thorin smiled. "You have to be patient. Now...you deserve a warrior braid for everything you did, I think."

Lis' mouth dropped open. "I do!? Are you going to make it for me?!" she screeched.

Eilin laughed and with her laughed the majority of the gathered people.

"Of course I will..." Thorin winked at her and Lis embraced his waist tightly.

"Thank you Sir!" she squeezed her eyes tight.

Thorin's finger run through her wild hair and he looked up at Loa. He didn't need to speak a word. The woman come over quickly.

"Come child, let the King speak to his men." Loa whispered discreetly.

As Lis waved at him Thorin wanted to correct Loa's slip of the tongue. He was not the King anymore, but he knew the conditioning was too deeply embedded into these people to shed away in such short notice. It was even hard on him not to see himself as the King. Eilin's hand sailed down his shoulder blade and nudged him. "Do you mind if I took my leave to see Rhiannon please?" she whispered at him.

"Of course not my love." He frowned at her.

"Thank you." Eilin closed her eyes in relief.

"Dis can you take over? I think I will be tied up for a while," he rejoined and gave a fixed look at Fili and the Lords that were waiting for him patiently.

The princess clasped Eilin's hand tightly and pulled her away from Thorin's embrace. "Of course I will. Come with me. We have so much to talk about!"

Eilin gave him a worried smile and even though she wanted to see her friend Rhiannon desperately, she also didn't want to allow him to remain there alone. It felt as if Erebor had opened up and was ready to swallow her Thorin the moment he stepped foot in it. Why did the troops salute him in such a military manner? Why did Dwalin speak about the trumpets and the King? Why did all these people gather silently here to wait for him? Suddenly all the fears that the Shire had settled down, were trying to claw their way up through the narrow passages of her mind. She thought that his abdication meant freedom from every obligation, even though he told her clearly that he was still high in command. Nevertheless nothing could equal the obligations of a King and she had felt certain at least that this position was not going to burden him anymore. Was that true? She peeked above her shoulder. It sure as hell didn't look like that now that he was standing before the Lords, the court and all those commoners who were looking at him with sincere devotion and eager expectancy.

Eilin shook her head trying to dispel all those sudden doubts before allowing Dis to pull her through the awestricken commoners who opened up for the two ladies to pass. The murmurs of admiration followed them until they disappeared behind the archway of the King's Halls. Then the attentions of the gathered crowd turned back to the fallen King again. Neither him nor Eilin noticed Karunn's deadly stare piercing the newcomers from the shadows behind her sister's elated face. She took another step back afraid to allow Thorin to see her. When King Fili brought her back to Erebor she had been certain that Thorin the second was either dead or due to his abdication would never return to this stronghold ever again, although she was short on the details of his sudden departure. The only thing she was sure of was that her plan had worked perfectly and that no one knew anything when the new rulership of Erebor called her back. A rulership she could easily control, since the King was obviously in love with her idiotic sister. Now upon seeing this hated man re-entering Erebor and the city standing in attention upon his arrival she felt that things were not as clear as she had thought before. She decided to lay low and observe quietly in order to figure out the new dynamics of Erebor's royalty. Her eyes followed repulsed the princess leading the stable bitch away and then returned to King Fili and the Lords who were addressing her soon to be nemesis.

"Are you okay laddie?" Balin sounded very emotional.

Thorin placed his heavy arm on Balin's shoulder. "Better than I've been in years."

Balin wiped away his tears and tried to kiss Thorin's hand. "I have endless apologies to offer you..."

Thorin shook his head. "No, you do not." He pulled his hand away from Balin's mouth and pressed it tightly.

Balin covered his eyes and Thorin pulled him in for a warm embrace that was quickly reciprocated.

Then Thorin turned to his nephew who stood there majestically. He inclined his head respectfully at Fili and placed his tight fist above his heart. "My King, I am at your service." His voice was steady and his words rang crystal clear in the cavern. An anxious wave of murmurs overtook the crowd.

Fili reciprocated the respectful head inclination towards Thorin. "Welcome home my Lord. We've been expecting your arrival impatiently."

Thorin's lips upturned in a heartfelt smile.

Fili looked above his shoulders at the Lords who were also brimming with anticipation. "We would like to have a private word with you in the meeting room, if you have finished with your family reunion." His nephew spoke gracefully and every gesture of his was exceptionally refined under the public eye.

Thorin felt a flare of pride for his boy. "By all means my King. Lead and I shall follow." Thorin hand offered Fili the lead.

The young man smiled. "Join me please."

The remaining Lords fell behind them and the progression moved towards the meeting room, leaving the dense crowd on pins and needles. When they entered the long archways that led to the upper floors and their heavy military paces faded away in the distance, the cavern broke out with loud exclamations and excited faces that made Karunn's stomach twist with nervousness. She didn't know what was happening and suddenly she didn't feel as safe anymore. Not as long as this man was so close to her vicinity. Maybe she could ask for a leave from King Fili in order to return back to the Ironhills. Deciding to do so the moment the King was free of his obligations she rushed to leave the common areas and lock herself back in her rooms.

* * *

Thorin entered the meeting chamber and heard the door closing behind him, but his eyes got solemnly drawn to the contents that were on the round table. The scroll of his abdication was right next to the Raven Crown. His brows creased and he turned to nephew. It took him a few moments to compose himself. "I must admit that I was pleasantly surprised by the crowd. That was an impressive welcome, but truly unexpected."

Fili urged the Lords to stand behind their appointed seats and smiled. "That was a small representation of the love the people have for you."

Thorin cast his eyes upon the carved golden surface of the desk. "I cannot deny that it touched me deeply. Thank you."

Fili shook his head. "We didn't organise that reception for you uncle."

Thorin looked up sharply at that and frowned.

"The common people, the soldiers and the workers all gathered on their own when we received news of your arrival." The Prince continued calmly.

"Not that they were not gathering most of the time in all the main caverns of Erebor anyway," Durar crossed his arms. Servin looked at him intently.

"The riots you talked about?" Thorin raised his brow.

Fili exhaled. "Indeed. They started out small from the mine shafts of the fifth level. Close to where the furnace accident happened, but spread out like wildfire through all of Erebor soon enough."

"When the workers stop their labour everything comes to a halt. Thank Mahal the soldiers remained out it for we weren't going to have any protection either. It took five days of silent rioting to bring Erebor to its knees. After a point everything stopped working in the stronghold. We didn't even have enough food as the hunters joined in with the rioters." Dain shook his head disheartened and several Lords nodded in bleak agreement.

"Didn't you try to address their demands?" Thorin scrutinised everyone.

Fili nodded. "Of course we did, but their demands were not easy to satisfy."

Thorin pursed his lips. "Well, am I entitled to learn these demands or should we stand here moping in misery for something that cannot be solved?"

Dain shook his head and gave Durar a guarded look. Servin suddenly found his hands rather interesting and Alangumar began admiring the elegant columns that circled the wide cavern. It was Bjarki that spoke for everyone. He took a step forth and looked Thorin in the eye. "They have only one demand."

Thorin exhaled through his nose and placed his hands on his wide belt. "Well?"

"They want you to retract your abdication." Bjarki continued solemnly.

Thorin felt the colour draining from his face and was unable to control himself well enough. He took a step back. "What?"

Fili crossed his arms with a quiet nod. "The people of Erebor do not accept the new rulership uncle. They demand that you return back to the throne as it's rightful heir."

Thorin's eyes fell sharply on his nephew. He felt his jawline flexing and the colour quickly mounted his cheeks again. "I retracted my right to the throne for some very serious reasons, or don't you remember? Everything I do happens for a reason. I cannot take back the abdication. Having a firm rulership under an unburdened ruler who will allow you people to unite under the King's gem is, was and will be my priority! I will not back down on this for no riot in Erebor!"

No one spoke and most averted their eyes from Thorin's anger.

"What do you all think this is, a game?! Get off the throne then get back on the throne! What kind of nonsense is this? I never expected the heads of the six families to act so irresponsibly towards such a serious matter!" He admonished with a forbidding glare that placed the room in complete attention. He turned his sombre eyes to his nephew. "Nor from the King."

Fili met his eyes steadily. "I never wanted to take your place. You forced me."

Thorin's hand cracked so sharply on the desk, it made everyone jerk upright. "I acted on behalf of the people of Erebor in order to bring balance to our race! Whatever I did was for them and you mean to tell me that you couldn't share half a brain between the lot of you in order to go and address the common people about what happened?"

No one spoke. Thorin's ferocity was ready to bulldoze everyone to the wall. He slipped easily back to the role of a ruler and they slipped back to his subordinates in the blink of an eye. "We didn't think it was necessary for them to learn the details of your abdication." Fili said.

Thorin cringed in disbelief. "How can you expect to gain the trust of your people if you hide the truth from them? You needed to gather your joined forces and address the people openly, all of you! Reveal the reasons for my abdication." He looked sternly at each and every one of them. "Forget it, I will address them myself." He made to walk to the door, but Fili's hand stopped him.

Thorin's eyes fell on that hand and his nephew withdrew it respectfully. "Please reconsider uncle. The people will not accept any other King as long as you are alive."

Thorin threw his hands in the air. "Well, forgive me for failing to kill myself back in The Hills of Black Sorcery." His tone was caustic.

Durar frowned. "No one suggested such a foul thing my King!"

"I am not your King and for good reason!" Thorin barked at him.

Dain raised his hand. "What good reason? The whole of Erebor is brought down to its knees and will remain in a deadlock unless you sit under the bloody Arkenstone! Even the Elven King has sent emissaries declaring that his alliance to Erebor will stand true only under King Thorin's rule!"

"Don't remind me of those bloody Elves now!" Alangumar grumbled.

"Well it was these Elves that saved him from certain death!" Dain spat angrily.

Bjarki decided to interpose. "What's more important to us right now?! Stop it all of you and think!"

They all looked at him.

"We must give the people what they need. We must stop these riots or Erebor will never flourish." Bjarki continued with a heavy voice.

Thorin felt a rumble of fury arising from the deepest part of his chest. "I sacrificed everything I've worked for all my life so my people could have what they need! So they can flourish under the unity of the seven families and now you are telling me that my biggest sacrifice yet, has managed the exact opposite?!"

Fili gritted his teeth. "The ruler you judge is best for Erebor is not the ruler the people want!" He pointed at the door.

Servin was watching from one to the other thoughtfully, not participating in the argument.

Thorin towered over his nephew. "The ruler the Lords want is not the same as the ruler the people want! Solve that for me, for I am at a loss here."

Fili backed up and lowered his eyes.

Thorin looked up at the heads of the families. "What would you have me do, tell me! You ask that I take back the rulership. Very well, and then what? Shall I let the dream of uniting our kin die like this? The people will understand if I explain to them why this had to happen. I broke my damned chains to this place. I am not willingly going to manacle myself again, especially since any return of mine will split the families up again. We'll find another way through this under the rulership of Fili."

Dain crossed his arms and spat through his teeth. "No, for I will not pledge my allegiance to my nephew."

Thorin felt his mouth dropping open. "No Dain, don't do this."

Bjarki pressed his lips. "Me neither."

Thorin turned to him in dismay.

"I am not either," Durar cried and Alangumar followed.

Fili straightened up looking rather pleased and Thorin noticed.

"Don't look so smug for managing to tear this unity apart. For such a short term rulership you've thrown the Kingdom into a havoc!" He came down on Fili like a ton of bricks.

"But is it torn apart?" Fili raised his brow.

Thorin pointed at the room. "Half of them don't want to pledge their allegiance to you, the other half don't want to pledge it to me. What do you suggest we do about this chaos? The unity of the seven Kingdoms has become a bloody chimera!"

Dain looked around in austerity and drew his sword. "I suggest we take a vow right here, right at this moment to the ruler we want to see under the Arkenstone. Solve this once and for all. For us and for the people of Erebor."

The Lords looked at each other.

"I will go first." He said and pranced proudly up to where Thorin and Fili were standing. He placed his sword at the table in front of Thorin. "My sword is yours. Use it and abuse it to your will my bastard." A pleased grin was buried under his thick ginger beard.

Thorin's brows came together in silent scrutiny.

Bjarki followed and drew his sword. He stood in front of Thorin at least a head shorter. He placed his sword next to Dain's. "My sword was yours since your days back in the Blue Mountains. I'd never accept any other King as long as you live and you know it." Then he turned to Fili and clasped his shoulder. "Even though I like this young fiery Dwarf you have carved as your spitting image."

Fili reciprocated with a kind smile and Bjarki went to stand next to Dain.

Durar then drew his huge sword. He smiled up at Thorin's unreadable expression. "I've witnessed the majesty that is in you. Both in battle and to the people around you. Lesser men and women asked for your help and you offered it generously. You could have ignored them, but chose not to. My sword is yours." He said and placed it next to Bjarki's.

Thorin's lips tensed.

Then Alangumar followed and drew his sword. He stopped in front of Thorin. "I've witnessed the respect with which you treated your wife to be, a woman of a lesser descent. I admire that to the utmost and believe not many rulers would have supported their hard choices as fearlessly as you did. You have my admiration, my pledge and my sword." He placed it next to Durar's.

Thorin's countenance began breaking.

Servin was the one who followed next, making Thorin's lips part and his eyes fill with uncertainty. He pulled his sword and stood in front of Fili and Thorin. "I have personal feuds with you my Lord. A long overburdened history that is not for the ears of this noble gathering, yet my personal sadness and loss do not eradicate your unprecedented bravery at war, your second to none ability to command our most skilled troops, your quick wit and your honourable actions towards your people, your kin and your family. Your legacy cannot be surpassed." -Servin looked him straight in the eyes- "You have my sword, my allegiance, my life and my heart." He placed his sword amidst the others and grasped Thorin's forearms. He bowed respectfully and walked over next to Dain.

Thorin closed his eyes for he felt them on the verge of tearing up after Servin's honest declaration of loyalty. The remaining two lords followed in unison and placed their swords next to Servin's. They bowed and vowed undying allegiance to Thorin before walking over to stand next to Servin. Thorin didn't dare open his eyes.

Fili drew both swords. "I am not one of the family Lords, but you know very well uncle that my swords are always yours. I revoke my right to the throne of Erebor, under the demand of the six Lords and my own wishes." He placed his swords next to the array of weaponry on the desk in front of Thorin. He then reached out and picked up the scroll. His lips turned down and he tore it in half.

Thorin's eyes flew open.

Fili raised his brow. "Your abdication King Thorin is not accepted by the new Dwarven Alliance. Nor is it accepted by the Alliance of Erebor with the Mirkwood Elves and Dale. Long live the King of the North." He said proudly and kneeled down in front of him. All the Lords kneeled down and looked towards the floor.

"Long live the King of the North!" They all repeated.

Thorin was left bereft of speech for several moments. When his heart allowed him the ability to talk again, his voice was hoarse. "Stand up, all of you."

They did so.

He throat felt dry and roughly used. "Your vote of confidence is deeply appreciated, but my rulership will not be in solidarity."

They looked at him partially confused.

"There is a woman standing by my side." His eyes swept the room with determination.

No one spoke.

"If you cannot accept my impending wedding to the mother of my children, then I will unfortunately decline this honourable pledge. I will remain the ruler of Erebor, but I shall not seek your unity under me anymore. May each take their own path and protect his own people," -the faces around him fell- "and may we come together as a unity in times of need. We are all one under Mahal's benevolent gaze. Those who disagree with the rules of my kingship are welcome to take back their swords."

No one moved.

It was Durar who took a step forth and placed his fist onto his chest. "I think I speak for all when I say that our swords remain yours my Lord. We are going to be honoured to share the happiness of your family."

Thorin looked every Lord in the eye. No one tried to retrieve his sword, even though Thorin waited for several moments.

He inclined his head imposingly. "Very well."

Durar smiled and aligned with the remaining lords who looked nervously at each other.

Fili pursed his lips. "Does that mean that you accept the throne of Erebor uncle? Your taciturnity, once a sign of reassurance, right now feels rather worrying."

Thorin placed his hand above the swords and gave them a soft smile. "I feel honoured by the trust shown in me. I shall do my best."

Everyone bowed their heads with signs of relief and smiles of pleasure. Several Lords exchanged handshakes and congratulations and Thorin allowed them to settle down before he spoke again.

"If you have finished, I would appreciate some moments of privacy," he said with a deep frown and looked at the Raven Crown that was sitting in the middle of the desk untouched.

All the Lords, apart from Dain, filed out of the room quietly and all were grinning with satisfaction as the door closed behind them.

Thorin looked at the Raven Crown silently for a long time and Dain didn't bother him. He just stood across from the King patiently. When finally Thorin spoke Dain closed his eyes painfully. "Thank you for everything you did."

"I wouldn't have pledged my allegiance to anyone else, but you." Dain said outright.

Thorin nodded and frowned. It took him several moments to address the subject that troubled him, Dain and possibly their relationship. Something that Thorin valued deeply and didn't want to see wrecked because of that evil woman. "How much do you know about Karunn?"

Dain shook his head. "Dis told me everything...every single word pierced through my bleeding heart like the sharpest dagger."

Thorin's brows clouded. "I am sorry Dain."

"What are you asking forgiveness for? Fain failing as a parent?" Dain snorted, but the bitterness was evident in his face and in his words.

Thorin kept silent.

"She searched Eilin's history in the tavern, didn't she?"

Thorin looked up.

"She dag up that poor woman Rhiannon and used the baby belt of your One to manipulate that scum to spit all these lies to you..." Dain looked truly spent now that the other Lords were not around and he didn't need to keep up any pretence.

"That's a very mild version, I suppose." Thorin rejoined.

Dain lifted his hand. "I know everything. How her actions led the royal family to ruins...Dis didn't give me the mild version cousin. She gave it to me brutally honest."

Thorin nodded. "Do you understand that my position is rather hard?"

"Mine too. I need to protect my family." Dain's eyes seared into his.

"And I need to protect mine." Thorin rebuked hard.

Dain looked at the table thoughtfully for several moments. "Are you going to call Fain here?"

"I just arrived. I know nothing yet, but I will ask you to remain away from Karunn. Fili told me you wanted to take over." Thorin frowned.

"She stained the name of my family to the ruler of the Seven Kingdoms. There is no greater offence to me personally." Dain's jawline flexed.

"I feel heartbroken that such an incident came between our families. An alliance that has been standing strong for many centuries." Thorin looked at Dain solemnly.

"This woman's deeds will not break us apart Thorin. I will make sure of that." Dain's teeth gritted.

"You speak of yourself, but Fain is a different story. I don't want the Ironhills intervening on the punishment of this woman." Thorin's voice became leaden.

"Durar kept me from killing her..." Dain whispered.

The King shuddered at the honesty of Dain's voice.

"Do you believe me?" The rough Ironfoot hissed.

"I do..." Thorin nodded quietly.

"I shall not let anyone come between the trust that we have for each other. Especially someone who tried to deceive and harm you, despite that they are my flesh and blood." Dain seized Thorin's arm hard.

Thorin's clear gaze fell on Dain.

"But I will ask you..." Dain's eyes filled with tears.

Thorin looked at him intensely.

"No...I will beg you to protect my Valdis from all this. Shield her with all your might. Work alongside me on this. Help me...help my family." Dain said broken.

Thorin reached out and grasped Dain's forearm with equal fervour. "On my word of honour I shall."

Dain closed his eyes and several tears stained his cheeks and got trapped in his beard. He squeezed Thorin's arm tightly and then gave him a curt nod. "Do you wish me to talk to Karunn? I cannot vouch that I will not draw my sword and slash her throat depending on what filth she's going to spill on me though. Forgive me cousin."

Thorin shook his head. "No, stand aside. Give me time to settle down and talk to the prisoners and the witnesses first. Allow me to have a rounded opinion of the whole situation and then we shall talk again."

"I need to learn what Nyrthrasir had to do with Karunn...Why did she have such power over him?" Dain's eyes clouded with a darkness that unsettled Thorin's heart.

"I need to learn that too...for I am yet short on the details." Thorin rejoined.

Dain averted his eyes to the Raven Crown and after a few moments he nodded. "You wish me to remain?"

Thorin shook his head. "Give him a few moments of silence, I beg you."

Dain gave a respectful bow to the King and left before he allowed Thorin to see the tears that pooled in his eyes.

Thorin's large palm covered his eyes as he sat in quiet reflectiveness for a long time. Not seeking out the company of his family, his friends or his court. He lingered there, pondering over everything that happened so quickly after his arrival, until the door opened up silently.

"You managed it, didn't you?" Dwalin sat down heavily and pulled over the Raven Crown. He twisted it around in his large fingers.

Thorin removed his hand and raised his brow.

"You saved your people after Smaug attacked, you made them flourish in new lands, you reclaimed our old homeland, you vanquished our enemies, you created the strongest alliance between Dwarves, Elves and Men the North has seen in centuries, you restored the King's gem and you united the heads of the Seven, under your rule. Durin would have been proud of his heir." Dwalin sounded immensely proud.

A strong shudder echoed through his spine. "Did you know about this when we were at the Shire?"

"The trumpets thrice shall ring..." Dwalin let his sentence float in the air.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You were so peaceful and content in Hobbiton. I haven't seen you like this in centuries. I was afraid if I told you, you wouldn't have returned." Dwalin replied honestly.

Thorin felt his throat constricting.

"But you had to. There is no one else who can lead this Alliance, but you. No one the Elves will vow their allegiance to, but you. For Dale it is the same. Instead of fearing that this crown will chain you back to the past, use the strength you gained from your deliverance to carve the new path of your kingship."

"I fear it..." Thorin frowned towards the Raven Crown.

Dwalin lifted it up to his face and looked at Thorin behind it. "You shouldn't."

"Last time I wore it, it almost tore me apart." Thorin continued with a hoarse voice.

"You have set the rules of your kingship my friend this time and they have been accepted. You are not burdened anymore by the sickness of your forefathers. If you wear the Raven Crown this time it will be under your rules. You are not following the ghosts of the past. You are carving your own path in Erebor like you did at the Blue Mountains. This crown has no real power over you. It's just the representation of your power over the Lonely Mountain, over the North." Dwalin said.

Thorin turned to him solemnly. "You always know what to say to calm me down, don't you?"

Dwalin smirked. "I know you inside out, although that swat had been totally unforeseen. That took me by surprise and I won't forget it easily." Dwalin rubbed his nape.

Thorin's lips turned down. "Your blind loyalty earned you that."

Dwalin seized Thorin's nape and brought their foreheads together. "A loyalty that will not waver even in front of death!"

Thorin closed his eyes and reciprocated. "I know..."

Dwalin pulled back almost angry for having shown this much emotion and tossed his arms. "Enough for Mahal's holy beard. Knock my head again and get me out of my misery."

Thorin chuckled. "I'll give you something we can both handle better. Tell Balin to bring me every order I have left in my office before departing. Every order Fili didn't utilise during my absence."

Dwalin's mouth formed a tactful smile. "At your orders my King."

Thorin raised his hand and stopped him. "Also arrest Karunn. Lock her in the ninth level dungeons."

A ghostly smile appeared on Dwalin's mouth. "Oh, that will be an immense pleasure."

A small faded smile formed at the hairpin of Thorin's mouth and his hands tightened slightly around the Raven Crown as Dwalin closed the door behind him. He remained wordlessly bemusing at it until the door knocked again and Balin with Fili entered.

"Why do you look so sulky? You accomplished everything you've set out to do! I am so proud of you laddie!" Balin beamed.

Fili smirked and crossed his arms patiently. "Sulkiness is embedded into his skin. He cannot shake it away."

Thorin raised his brow warningly at his nephew. "Do you have the orders?"

Balin nodded and emptied all five of them at the desk.

Thorin raised his brow at Fili. "You didn't utilise a single one of them?"

Fili shook his head and twisted his lips smugly. "Not a single one."

"Why?"

"I was never the King of this stronghold uncle. No matter your noble intentions the title was always yours." Fili grinned down to him.

Balin quickly placed the red candle in front of Thorin and also the ring with the royal sigil. "Uhm, you'll need these ones also." He said and struck the brimstone in order to light up the candle.

Thorin's eyes looked thoughtfully at the small flickering flame as he placed the ring on his third finger inattentively. He opened up the scrolls and signed them carefully. When he finished he sealed each one with the royal sigil of the Longbeards. He turned to Balin and gave him the first scroll. "Open up the trade routes for the Elves of Mirkwood."

Balin bowed.

Thorin gave him the second. "Open up the trading routes for Dale" -Then he picked up the third- "These are orders for joined military training and operations with the Elves of Mirkwood." -He gave Balin the fourth- "Send masons to rebuild the Dwarven Road of Mirkwood. The trading route with the Northmen and the western part of Mirkwood is now open. Fili has my instructions about the trees I marked, right?"

Fili nodded smugly. "Yes, I do."

Finally Thorin twisted the last scroll between his fingers reflectively. He gave it to Balin and faded smile spread on his lips. "The order for the creation of the new Dwarven Alliance under the Longbeards. All Lords must sign it."

Balin bowed with a wide smile and picked up the last scroll with reverence. "At your orders laddie!"

Fili laughed. "You look the happiest I've ever seen you."

"I am the happiest I've ever been!" Balin stated and left with the scrolls tightly held in his arms.

When the door closed behind Fili turned to his uncle. "Can we not get into Balin's enthusiasm with your first orders as King of the North? I've got something important to tell you."

Thorin smiled. "We won't. What happened?"

Fili scrounged his lips. "The royal guards arrested three shady humans at the borders of Mirkwood. They were trying to get away from Thranduil's troops and fell right onto us. We arrested them, even though the Elves insisted they had to take them to their King."

"Why did you bother with them?" Thorin frowned.

Fili crossed his arms. "Because they used Karunn's name."

Thorin's chin came up at that. "They know Karunn?"

"Apparently she denied them payment for their services, that is why they were lurking in our lands. They were waiting for her in order to discuss their deal anew. They insist they have no feud with the Mountain King or the Elves and they want no trouble. They looked absolutely terrified, but I don't like their faces to be quite honest. I wouldn't trust them to speak the truth. What do you want me to do with them?" Fili raised his brow rather satisfied that he fell back to being the commander of the royal guards instead of the King of Erebor.

Thorin leaned back and caressed his bearded chin broodily. "Throw them in the dungeons and tell Dain I wish to speak with his soldiers. The ones who followed his older niece out into the wilderness."

Fili inclined his head and bowed. "At your orders."

The moment the door closed behind, Thorin relaxed back and stippled his fingers in front of his mouth. His eyes gazed at the fading flame that sizzled suddenly and sent small sparks flying onto the Raven Crown. His stare turned purposeful and his forefingers rubbed softly against each other as the wheels inside his mind began turning slowly.

* * *

 


	55. On being fearless

Up at the royal corridors, three doors down from Dis' room, Rhiannon was weeping in Eilin's arms unstoppably. From the moment they saw each other again they both fell in each other's arms, wordlessly and remained there crying tears of healing. Dis stood by the door discreetly with a soft smile on her lips, but still the anger that had been seething inside her ever since her brother brought Karunn back in Erebor felt dangerously close to explosion. Especially after she saw him again this afternoon. The difficulty she faced when Thorin arrived with Eilin, in order not to expose Karunn right then and there in front of all the Lords and the crowd of common people had been extreme.

Ever since she escorted Eilin to this room, she had been fidgeting with the frills on her sleeves trying not to bite her lips too much and to keep her adrenaline from overpowering her logic once more. She didn't know why Thorin had called over that evil bitch, but she knew her brother well enough to be certain that all this had a purpose. That was the only reason that stopped her from doing Karunn in, several times over. Fain's oldest daughter had kept away from the Princess during her stay, but she didn't keep away from Valdis or Dis' son. Something that fired up the already boiling rage of Dis even more. She talked to Fili about her, but her son replied succinctly that these were Thorin's orders and he knew better than to question his uncle's decisions. Dis knew that Thorin would have been ultimately proud about how well her son was managing that woman and how typically distanced and polite he was with her, even though he knew all the details of what she had done to their family. He was playing his part admirably well, but that didn't calm down Dis who wanted to grab Thorin by the neck and throttle him to reason.

He should have entered Erebor with explosive fury towards the evil monster that almost killed his child, his wife and himself, not as calmly as he had entered this morning. Either her brother had lost his spark after this nightmarish adventure or he had a hidden agenda. In any case she needed to talk to him, which was impossible as currently he was being addressed by the delegations. Another matter that caused her extreme nervousness. She looked down at the bed where Eilin was caressing Rhiannon's hair gently and speaking soft words to her. Dis observed her sister-in-law with care and recognised the peaceful content on Eilin's face.

This blossoming young woman was not the same person as the one that left Erebor enfolded in such anguish and pain. This was not even the Eilin that had been serving Dis in the Ironhills. This was a completely different woman in front of her. Full of serene determination and inspiring calmness. Dis for a moment envisioned Eilin as a Queen by Thorin's side and she was pleased that this image was befitting the young lady so much in her current state. Eilin may have been born in the gutter and may have lived in hell, but she had gone through a miraculous transformation that changed the timid, scared creature into a blooming, courageous and proud young woman that had a lot to say and a voice to do it with. Dis assumed her brother had a lot to do with that transformation, nevertheless that didn't diminish her admiration towards Eilin. Dis inhaled deeply and observed the two young women in their affectionate reunion.

"Stop crying my darling. We are together again. There is no reason to cry, is there?" Eilin smiled lovingly at Rhiannon.

"I should have known better than to trust that fiend! Eilin forgive me, but I was desperate. When I saw her in all her glory I broke down in front of her. I begged her for help. She spoke with so many details about you that I was convinced. Or wasn't I? I don't know...maybe I wasn't and it was just my need to hang onto someone lest I died..." Rhiannon wailed in pain.

Eilin enclosed Rhiannon to her bosom. "Hush my dear, please. You don't have to explain to me your reasons for trusting Karunn. How could you have known the cunning plans that were taking place in her mind. How could you have known the hate that she was harbouring for me. No one is blaming you..."

Rhiannon grasped her hand and looked up. "But me. No one is blaming me, but me! I cannot forgive myself for giving her the baby belt. It is what destroyed you. I know. Princess Dis told me everything that happened. We told our respective stories and the truth got revealed. If I had been a little more distrustful then maybe all this would have been avoided."

Eilin gave Dis a look above her shoulder. "I am lucky I have you and the princess in my life to help me out."

Dis smiled. "And little Lis, don't forget. She was the one that did most of the work."

Eilin reciprocated the smile. "Little Lis. Have you met her yet?"

Rhiannon wiped her nose with the back of her hand and Eilin reached out to give her a clean cloth from the side table. Rhiannon took it gratefully. "Many times over. She didn't want to leave me alone after she understood I had information to give. She was sleeping close to my bed in case I remembered something during the middle of the night and no one was with me. She was afraid that because of my ill state I would have forgotten it the very next day."

"Well, she wasn't all that wrong. It took us several days to put every piece of information together, but your testimony cannot stand alone, unfortunately." Dis sounded regretful.

Rhiannon nodded and Eilin frowned. "Because of my profession, right ma'am?"

Dis pressed her lips and inclined her head. "I fear so. Not many Dwarf Lords are going to be willing to believe you in the stead of Lord Fain's oldest daughter. The keeper of the Ironhills."

Eilin's face fell. "You must be joking my lady."

Dis raised her hand. "Don't misunderstand me Eilin. I am simply stating the truth, but we are lucky because your friend Rhiannon isn't the only witness to this choleric scheme against the King's family."

Eilin swallowed a dry throat. "Who else is there?"

"Nyrthrasir who has woken up from his deep sleep and three of Dain's soldiers. Now it all comes down to how my brother will decide to use all these testimonies against her. We have to wait for him." Dis pressed her lips.

Eilin's jawline tensed. "The man who spoke so ill of me to Thorin is awake?" Her voice gained a terrifying capacity that made Dis strangely proud.

The princess raised her brow. "Indeed he is."

"I want to speak to him!" Eilin demanded.

Rhiannon pressed her hand and Eilin reciprocated.

Dis cringed. "That's not my decision my dear. That's the King's decision and currently I have no bloody idea who is the King of this stronghold."

Eilin closed her eyes and inhaled deeply in order to settle down the anger that got ignited in her upon hearing this man's unholy name. "I will ask either King for an audience with that man and I want to do it with my husband-to-be next to me. I want Thorin to hear me confront this filth once and for all! Him and Karunn!"

Dis nodded. "I don't blame you, but I will beseech you to give Thorin the opportunity to unfold his own plans about these people to us. He never does anything out of chance."

Rhiannon pulled Eilin. "Don't speak with that witch. No one should speak to her. She's a master manipulator. You cannot imagine..." She was pale from fear.

Eilin's lips twisted in anger. "Oh, I have a very good idea of what she can do. She manipulated Thorin against me and he is not a man easily fooled. I will not underestimate my enemies anymore. I've learned that lesson well."

Dis crossed her arms.

"Will you ever forgive me Eilin? I love you like a sister and I'd do nothing to harm you. Look what I accomplished though. I harmed you without ever meaning to..." Rhiannon began sobbing again.

Eilin embraced her tightly and felt her heart catching at the frailty of Rhiannon's cold skin. "Never ask for forgiveness again. Remember when we said goodbye at the tavern?"

Rhiannon's skeletal hands tightened around Eilin shoulders. She nodded. "At that moment I lost the only family I had."

Eilin's eyes teared up. "Me too, I lost my sister and I knew you were unhealthy already. All this time I feared that you didn't survive. Karunn's evil scheming managed to bring us back together my darling."

Rhiannon smiled bitterly. "Nothing gets you down. Nothing changed. You are the same bright star I remember so well."

Eilin caressed her hair. "You have no idea how many things have truly changed and I am happy that you will be here next to me to witness them."

Rhiannon tensed. "I don't belong in this stronghold. I am not a Dwarrowdam. The King can throw me out whenever he so wishes."

Eilin pulled back and frowned. "Thorin would never do such a thing" -then in retrospection she looked at Dis above her shoulder- "neither would King Fili. You are my sister...what are you fearing? That we are going to point you back to that tavern?"

Rhiannon's face paled. "Don't do that to me Eilin, I will die. I will ask the King, no I will beg for him, NO I will throw myself at his feet to ask for a job here. I can work in the stables cleaning manure or the mines cleaning up the dirt. Put me anywhere. In the darkest corner of Erebor and I shall remain there working my butt off without a single word. Just please don't send me out there ever again. I don't want to face the world anymore. I don't want to face men anymore...please..." Rhiannon's shoulders shook by her suppressed sobs.

Eilin caressed her thin hair. "No one is going to throw you out my dear."

Dis pressed her lips. "Erebor doesn't cast away people in need, no matter their race."

Rhiannon's sobs increased and her wiry arms twisted painfully around Eilin body. That is when the door knocked and Dis who was leaning on it, opened it up. Thorin's resolute face made its appearance. Dis hushed him and beckoned him in as the two women consoled each other. He closed the door and leaned on it also like his sister. He crossed his arms and sighed deeply.

Dis looked at him sideways. "So who is the King of this damned city?"

Thorin snorted. "Does it matter? You are related to whoever takes over."

Dis's face mellowed. "That's true, but I'd like to know."

Thorin pressed his lips.

"Did they accept your abdication wolf? I know Fili wasn't going to do it. How about the others?" she asked in a whisper in order not to alert Rhiannon and Eilin who were buried into the world of their reunion.

Thorin shook his head.

Dis's face brightened up with a beaming smile. "Welcome back my King."

He raised his brow.

"Did they accept to unite under your rulership?" Dis touched his bicep gently.

He nodded calmly.

Dis bit her lower lip and yelped happily. "Congratulations!" she fell on him and planted a firm kiss on his cheek. "I am so happy for you, but also so pissed off!" She said and her voice turned from blithe to annoyed within a few words.

He raised his brow. "What did I do?"

Dis pressed her lips and felt the waves of happiness retreating under the suppressed wrath she had been feeling during his absence. "You invited that bitch into our home and offered her hospitality! She should have been cast into the deepest dungeon and branded as a traitor! She should have had her hair shaved and her clothes torn! She should have been forced to prance around the whole kingdom in threadbare clothing that would show the traitor's rune at her forearm! She shouldn't have been keeping close company to my son, nor acting like a lady when clearly she is not! You know I admire your rule, but this time you managed to make a very serious miscalculation."

Thorin sighed patiently.

"What took over your brilliant mind to make you act like a bloody idiot, tell me that?" Dis hissed.

He raised his brow silently.

"What is this taciturnity now? Why are you not speaking to me? You know Fili stopped me thrice from poisoning Karunn's dinner? I was so ready to get rid of her!" Dis crossed her arms truly pissed.

"It's not your place to make such decisions." He spoke heavily.

"And it is yours?"

He looked at her fixedly.

"Then why didn't you do something about it instead of allowing her to prance freely and rub her victory in our faces?" Dis spat at him.

"What victory was that?" he asked quietly.

"She almost managed to destroy you and Eilin and kill your child. Not to mention managed to kill Myrna's child!" Dis was trying to keep her voice low as Eilin and Rhiannon didn't even notice Thorin's presence, but she was failing.

"The only victim of her choleric scheme was Myrna's unborn child."

"And that's not enough? It wasn't enough that your wife suffered and almost lost your child? It wasn't enough that you went into a suicide mission that almost killed you? Thorin get your head straight, or I will do it for you! I will kill her I swear!" Dis rebuke angrily.

"You hurry too much and you jump to the wrong conclusions gerbil. Calm down." He rejoined cooly.

"The welfare of your family and yourself is what matters most to me!" Dis retorted.

"I love you too, but don't underestimate my judgment." He sounded austere.

"Tell me that inviting her here is part of some plan, because I am scarcely keeping myself from storming her damned room and choking her to death!" Dis looked at him angrily.

"Do you know Fain's family well?" Thorin frowned.

"As much as my few months in the Ironhills allowed me to learn them," Dis frowned by the sudden twist on the conversation.

"Do you know Karunn's mother well?" he continued.

"She seemed honourable and kind enough, but I don't know her well no," Dis said with uncertainty.

"Do you believe that sending troops over to arrest Karunn would end up with her indeed being arrested?" Thorin looked at her solemnly.

Dis frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Don't you think it's more possible that her mother would have found a way to hide or send her into exile in order to protect her?" Thorin raised his brow.

Dis's mouth dropped open. "Possibly."

"Even if we managed an arrest, do you think it would have been easy for Fili to handle both Dain and Fain concerning their family? The boy barely had the facts straight about what happened, never mind balancing two of the most ferocious Dwarf Lords in Middle Earth that would have felt deeply insulted if not explained the facts properly." He continued with the same calm demeanour.

Dis was slowly starting to understand where this was going.

"Wouldn't it be easier to control Karunn, by having her as an official guest in Erebor under King Fili's rule, while I and my precious were gone?"

Dis sighed. "Indeed it would be."

"Wouldn't it have given me ample time to think about her punishment without also having to hunt her all over Middle Earth, or fight the Ironhills in order to get her?" Thorin said resolutely.

Dis nodded briskly.

"We need peace especially now that I have accomplished the unity of the seven families. I will not risk Erebor's peace for that filth". He whispered calmly.

Dis looked at him tensely for a few moments. "At least you convinced me that you are not losing your mind."

He pursed his lips.

"When will you arrest her?" Dis frowned.

"She's locked in the dungeons already." He said thoughtfully.

Dis' face brightened up for a brief second as a wave of satisfaction awoke her body, but quickly her eyes thinned with hatred. "Have you decided what you are going to do with her? Will it be a public trial?"

"I am not sure yet," he drawled.

Dis's lips pressed with uncertainty. "I would have preferred something more particular, you know."

"And I would have preferred you to interfere less," he rebuked.

Dis opened her mouth to reply when Rhiannon's surprised croak drew their attention towards the bed. "That's him!? No way!" she said with clumsy astonishment.

Eilin clasped her friend's hand gently. "Let me introduce Thorin the second, also known as Oakenshield!" she exclaimed proudly.

Rhiannon's eyes popped out of their sockets. "He looks nothing like your drawings!" -she choked- "Well, I mean nothing like my descriptions."

Eilin grinned. "Don't you think I know?" she admired his imposing presence that had overtaken the room.

Rhiannon opened and closed her mouth a couple of times. "Wow...I really did him an injustice, didn't I?"

Eilin pressed her frail fingers. "Who can blame you? Which one of us had seen a Dwarf Lord in our lives? Never mind having a true depiction of the appearance of one of their Kings." -she then turned to Thorin- "Don't stand there my love. Come, let me introduce my sister Rhiannon!" she raised her hand at him.

Dis pushed him and he walked with a soft smile towards the women. He took the girl's hand in his gently. "Nice to meet you young lady. Oin notified me that your coughing is getting better. How do you feel?"

Rhiannon was looking like a fish out of water. "Uhm, much better Sir" -then she turned confused at Eilin- "What do I call him? King, Sir, Lord...?" she whispered hastily.

Eilin found Rhiannon's bewilderment heartwarming. "My Lord should be fine." She looked at him for confirmation and he smiled sweetly at her.

"Are you going to throw me out of Erebor my Lord? Please allow me to stay and I will do everything I can to please your family. Anything! Ask for anything at all!" -she then looked at Eilin lovingly- "Well, apart from my services because you are married to her now, right? No wait!" -she slapped her forehead- "engaged! You are engaged to my best friend and she is pregnant with your child and you understand...but anything else you might need I am at your Kingly service, you know?" her eyes were eating him up hungry for an answer of acceptance.

Thorin huffed lightly and raised his brow at Eilin. "I thought no one could get more awkward than you."

She reached up and stippled her fingers through his. "We grew up together...she's got the same quirks as me." Then she brought his hand down and kissed the back of it.

"Wow, I mean wow..." -her eyes looked bewildered at Thorin- "I never thought I'd live to see the mighty Oakenshield, never mind the inside of his stronghold. This must be a dream. Pinch me Eilin!" -She turned to her friend- "Come on now, pinch the shit out of me!" -she cried. Then she paled and cupped her mouth- "Oh, I shouldn't have sworn in front of you my Lord, forgive me, I don't know how to act properly around royalty..." she sounded so regretful that Thorin's heart warmed up.

Dis laughed lightly from the door and Thorin smiled.

Eilin cupped Rhiannon's cheek. "I don't think he minds too much," then she turned to Thorin for confirmation.

He shook his head. "Not at all."

Rhiannon released an exhalation of relief and cupped her bosom. "Thank heavens. I mean I've lived amongst scum all my life and they swear, they swear a lot. I mean Sir..." -she slapped her forehead again- "I mean my Lord, you cannot even believe how much they swear and I kind of inherited their ways, but I will shed them, you just wait and see. I will become the best maiden you've ever had!" -she cringed- "I mean after Eilin, I mean if you take me as a maiden, because I don't care. You can put me anywhere in Erebor Sir, just don't kick me out please!" Her eyes turned pleading on him again.

Eilin's heart broke for her friend and her eyes teared up.

"Eilin is not a maiden anymore," -he smirked down at her and then looked at Rhiannon- "There are job opportunities here in Erebor. I am sure you'll do well as a maiden after Dis shapes you up a little." He looked at his sister above his shoulder.

Dis smiled. "I have it, don't worry wolf."

Rhiannon yelped and pressed Eilin's hands. "Hear that my dear?"

Eilin wiped away her eyes, "I know. In Erebor no lost soul will wither and die. Be assured you are in the care of the most noble family in Middle Earth!"

Thorin allowed the two women to settle down for a few moments. Then he sobered up and looked at Rhiannon who was eating him up with her eyes eager to do anything to please him. "Tell me young lady, will you be willing to testify against Karunn and speak about everything that happened if the need arises?"

Rhiannon almost jumped out of bed and Eilin tried to steady her. "I'll do anything to see her imprisoned for what she did to my precious Eilin Sir...I mean my Lord! I'll tell you everything right now if you wish..."

Thorin shook his head. "I just need to know that you are available for testimony."

Rhiannon frowned. "I am! But please be careful how you talk to her. She is a master manipulator my Lord. I am afraid of seeing her face to face again. I am terrified of what she could do to me, or Eilin."

Eilin pulled Rhiannon into her embrace and kissed her forehead. "No one can touch you now. Don't worry my dear."

Thorin inclined his head. "Very well. I will let you have your time with Eilin. Rest well."

Rhiannon smiled up to him with her naked gums and grabbed his hand. She crushed her cold lips on its back and muttered. "Thank you for giving me a chance in life my Lord. May Eru bless you and my Eilin with many children and lots of love and health and anything your heart desires!"

Thorin smiled kindly and withdrew his hand. "Be well. I need to go."

"Maybe Eilin should come with you my Lord!" Rhiannon looked beseechingly at Eilin, silently begging her to remain.

Thorin's heavy hand pressed Eilin's shoulder gently. "She needs time with you now."

Eilin felt her eyes tearing up and she turned her head and placed a tender kiss on his hand again. "Thank you my love."

His thumb reached up and offered her jawline a feathery caress. "Take care of my Little Gem, alright?"

Eilin's face brightened up the whole room. She gave a soft kiss at the ball of his thumb. "Always my heart."

"Good evening." He rejoined elegantly and went to the door.

Eilin turned at Rhiannon and cupped her cheeks. "We shall talk all night! We have so much to catch up on!"

Dis grasped his arm as he opened the door. "You've got one testimony, but is it enough? It won't stand up to the Lords, will it?" she spoke in a hushed tone.

He shook his head. "No."

Dis's face fell, but his remained resolute. After a moment of calm scrutiny he reached up and cupped Dis's neck. His thumb caressed the sideburns on her jawline. "Tell me something gerbil."

A sweet smile appeared on her lips. "Anything wolf."

"How much does Lieutenant Dongar mean to you?"

Dis's brows wavered indecisively. "Uhm, what does that have to do with anything?"

Thorin smiled down at her reassuringly. "I am not out to make his life hard again, but I need to know."

Dis exhaled and suddenly her cheeks became crimson. Thorin already had his answer, but he still wanted to hear it from his sister's mouth. "I'd prefer if he wasn't forced out of my life soon..."

Thorin's gentle up-tilt of the lips bloomed into a dazzling smile.

Dis reached up and touched his hand gently. "Your face gives me hope that you are not on his case, nevertheless why did you ask about him now?"

Thorin's smile faded out slowly. "Because he's the only one who can link Karunn to Nyrthrasir at this moment."

"Apart from Nyrthrasir himself who's screaming her bloody name down in the dungeons. Dongar is too honourable to betray the secrets of his friend." Dis whispered, not wanting Eilin to overhear them.

"I will need your lieutenant's testimony before I come face to face with Nyrthrasir." Thorin said and removed his hand. He looked back at Eilin and Rhiannon reflectively.

Dis gave him a careful nod of understanding. "Do it. Maybe you'll have better luck than me. Use my Dongar to your will. We need to get to the bottom of this hell and purify this stronghold from these unholy people. Our family needs to heal from this nightmare."

Thorin's eyes gazed at his brave sister and his countenance brightened up by his brotherly love for her. "Your Dongar?"

She blushed more and averted her eyes.

His thumb caught her chin and pulled her head up again so their eyes could meet. "Will we have more weddings in the family soon?"

She bit her lower lip and the smile was barely contained on her face. "If my brother allows and time heals me, then maybe. I am not sure yet."

Thorin inclined his head. "I won't deny you anything your heart desires. He's an honourable man."

Dis reached down and clasped his other hand. Her fingers traced the inside of his palm. She felt the scar tissue that had been created there when he sent the boiling cauldron to the wall that fateful night and her eyes teared up. "I love you wolf."

A tender smile was his answer, but her face sobered up slowly the more her fingers traced his pained palms. Finally after a few tense moments of silence she whispered, "Destroy them!" and she pressed his scars protectively. Even though they were only the scars on his skin, she was also squeezing the scars of his heart at that moment.

"I will." He said with an assertive tone and then with a last look of worship towards his One he closed the door gently behind him. Then before walking back to his office he spoke to the guards. "No one comes in."

The guards presented arms and bowed respectfully as he sauntered down the corridor calmly.

* * *

Thorin passed the remaining evening trying to take in everything that happened from the moment he returned to his stronghold again. He sat thoughtfully at the meeting room twisting his crown around with his fingers, listening to the crackling of the fire soothing his nerves. He then sauntered to the throne room and even sat on it for a little while as the Raven Crown kept him company at the golden engraved arm of the throne. He didn't wear it, even though he debated on it heavily. His eyes switched from the huge statues that stood eternal guards of the Mountain King, to the Arkenstone that was shining bright above his head, to his untouched crown. His journey to Erebor had started more than a year ago with him full of bitterness and anger. Never did he imagine in his wildest dreams that it would end up with him having achieved everything he had set out to do, but more importantly with him being a husband and a father to be. This journey changed his perception on life and people. It altered his fixed ideas on what a ruler should be like. It made him uncaring about the wishes of his forefathers and eager to try his own steps upon a stronghold that was too saturated with the ideas of old. He went through hell...nay...he went through several levels of hell in order to sit peacefully on Erebor's throne under the Arkenstone, holding the alliance of the seven Dwarven clans tightly in his fist. He didn't want to lose that sense of peace that had overtaken him so suddenly.

Even though his mind was toying with controlled wrath against the woman who tried to destroy his family, that sense of peace was always there waiting to take over. He hadn't felt this tranquil ever since he had been a young dwarfling under Thror's rule. After the dragon sent his kin into exile he lost his ability to feel unweary and that lasted for one and a half centuries. So he remained seated at his throne contemplating calmly his long and arduous journey until the quiet voice of Balin notified him that the Lords of the families were going to gather for a small feast between them in the royal dining room. It was suggested right at the last minute due of the blithe mood everyone was in. Thorin declined kindly and told Balin to ask Fili to stand in for him. He felt too tired to attend any feast. He needed to return to his rooms and have a good night's rest. When Balin heard his King requiring some repose he felt absolutely ecstatic since he knew how little sleep Thorin had been utilising ever since they left the Blue Mountains. So hearing him asking to rest caused Balin to promise his King that Fili would take care of the Lords. He ordered Thorin to go back to his rooms and sleep for a month if possible. Then Balin pranced out of the throne room as a proud peacock.

Thorin started walking back to his rooms when something stopped him. He looked above his shoulder and raised his brow for a few contemplative moments, before going back to take the Raven Crown.

Next time he placed it down was on the table in front of his fireplace at the royal chambers. He forgot about it as he took off his multiple vests and his heavy belt. Remaining only with a dark green velvet tunic he went to his window and drew back the heavy curtains. The setting sun was peeking out of the clouds and the snow that had buried his balcony almost a month ago was now melting away. The pot that Dis had placed Kili's flower in was revealed and Thorin saw with a failing heart the dry and broken stem of the poor flower. It was almost black. The snow had burned it down. He opened up his window and kneeled above the pot. He cleaned the remaining snow away and that is when a sharp inhalation rattled his chest and his eyes instantly filled with tears. His fingers pressed his lips as those tears pooled in his eyes for several moments. A small green stem was trying to pull itself out of the moist dirt right at the side of the old burned stem. Kili's flower had taken up roots against all odds during the worst storm Erebor had ever seen since before the dragon era. Thorin brought the pot inside and placed it on his nightstand. He remained pale as a ghost looking at it for a long time. Not daring to blink as the tears still pooled there. When he did indeed close his eyes two barely controlled rivers stained his cheeks.

The soul of his boy was at peace finally.

Without having the strength to go and inform Dis about this small miracle he emptied himself on his armchair and looked at the fire until his thoughts got into a tangle that lulled him to sleep. He remained like that until the early hours of the morning when his door opened up quietly to allow Eilin to come in.

She tiptoed to the armchair and smiled down to him with the sweetest smile she could offer. He looked so undisturbed, so serene in his sleep that she didn't want to wake him up. On the other hand she didn't want to go to sleep alone and have him remain on the armchair breaking his back. Deciding to wake him up with the most gentle way possible she leaned down until her lips skimmed the skin of his neck. Her cheeks got scratched by his beard and as her mouth opened up to gift him with a wet kiss she felt the well know warmth spreading inside her.

"Will I ever get used to touching you I wonder..." she whispered.

"I hope not," his husky voice rejoined and her body shuddered as his heavy arms came around her and brought her down to him.

She would have never resisted his attempt to enfold her in those arms. She sat on him and leaned her body on his. Her lips left his neck and gave three feathery kisses on his beard before capturing his lips in a sensual exploration that he reciprocated with fervour. Her fingers got twisted around both warrior braids keeping him there as her teeth clashed again his and that warmth...oh that warmth in the pit of her stomach simmered when his wide palms came flat on her back and pushed her on him demandingly. It took her several tries to decide to pull away from his enticing mouth.

"Did I wake you?"

He smiled softly and nodded. "Yes."

"I am sorry," her lip pouted even though she hardly felt any regret for doing that.

"You woke me up in the best way possible," his hand came up to trace her neck sending goosebumps to chase her skin.

She grinned at him. "No, I will never get used to your touch..."

He chuckled and pecked her softly. "I thought you were going to sleep with Rhiannon tonight," he whispered.

"She's so tired and still rather ill. I remained until she fell asleep. After that I wanted to come to you," her fingers played with the lapels of his tunic.

"Are you happy that you saw her again?" he inquired quietly.

She settled her head under his chin and supplied him with endless tender kisses on his clavicle. "I believed she was dead all these years. I'd never thought in my wildest dreams that she was still alive. Thank you for allowing her to stay."

"No question about that." He said quietly.

"Karunn almost killed her," suddenly Eilin's voice became angry and her fingers tightened around Thorin's muscular deltoids.

"That evil witch killed one soul and destroyed many others," his voice turned darker also.

"Have you talked to her?" Eilin asked and felt her skin crawling.

His hand squeezed her bicep letting her know that he was there. "Not yet."

"My wish has not changed. I want to confront her!" Eilin spat.

Thorin nodded thoughtfully. "You shall talk to her, but in my presence."

Eilin nodded angrily. "Of course. I'd never do it any other way!"

Both arms slithered around her thin frame and enclosed her to his chest. "Don't ruin your peace for that witch my dove. I want nothing to upset you." he spoke patiently.

Her body relaxed under his firm grip and she sighed. "You are right. I shouldn't let this get to me, but how easy is it Thorin? This woman destroyed us. I cannot remain calm when I know that she still remains unpunished."

"Trust in me Eilin. Her fate is in my hands." His voice was tinted with a terrifying shadow.

"Of course I trust you my love. I trust you with my life." She kissed his exposed upper chest where the dove tattoo was visible.

He settled down under her steady caress, until her voice made him reopen his eyes. "Thorin is this the famous Raven Crown?" she was looking apprehensively at the table.

"It is," he rejoined.

"Why is it here?" her voice sounded concerned.

"Because it belongs with the King." he said calmly.

A long silence ensued from her and he felt the tension returning to her body.

"Eilin?" he inquired and tried to look at her face.

She hid it onto his chest but he felt the hot tears on his skin.

He hissed and cupped her jawline pulling her head up to him. "Why are you crying my heart?" he frowned at her inexplicable distress.

She tried to wipe her tears, but they kept on coming. "I thought you chose me over the throne, what is this now? I knew it! I knew this was going to happen! I knew this place was going to draw you back in! I had no chance to win over the crown, did I?"

Thorin pulled back surprised. "I was given back the rule of Erebor and the rule of the seven Dwarven clans. I thought you'd be proud of me, not act so distraught. This stronghold has not drawn me back in. I am with you right now, aren't I?" He was truly unable to understand what had gotten into her all of a sudden.

"I am proud of you, but if you go back to ruling this stronghold the King is going to kill my Thorin!" she cried and tried to turn her face away from him.

His hand kept her still and nudged her. "Look at me."

She opened her bloodshot eyes and his heart stabbed him. "I was the one who told you to see the real me instead of the King, but Eilin what I didn't know back then was that the King and me are one and the same. I have to try and merge these two sides of me now. I don't carry the past on my shoulders anymore. Allow me to try, please."

She shook her head reluctantly. "I will lose you again, won't I?"

"How can you lose me? You've got every single ounce of my heart and soul..." he frowned.

A small bitter laugh escaped her and she wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "Do I? I can hardly believe it when I see that damned crown." She looked at it apprehensively.

He steepled his fingers through hers. "To be quite honest you don't have all of my heart and soul."

Her glare fell on him terrified.

A coy smile formed on his handsome lips. "Half of them are yours, the other half belong to our Little Gem," he whispered.

She gasped and fell on him, embracing his body firmly. "You said you'd solve this mess and then follow me anywhere I choose."

He enfolded her lovingly. "I did, yes."

"But you accepted the crown. You are King once more. How can you follow me to the place of my choice now?" she whispered.

He closed his eyes and felt his heart palpitating. "Eilin, I can lie and console you, but I won't do that. This is my fate."

"You promised to follow me..." she hissed and butted her forehead on his chin gently.

His jawline gritted. "So I did...but I am going to be honest with you. It's not that simple for me. It never was."

She paused and felt her heart clenching. "I could ask you the ultimate question. I could bring you against the inevitable and ask you if you would give up the throne again and ride away into the sunset with me."

"You could and it would break my heart in two if you ever did." His blunt honestly cut her like a dagger, but she appreciated it deeper than any half hearted apology.

She nodded. "I could ask for your answer to that pending question, right now."

He swallowed heavily. "And I would answer that nothing comes first, but you and my child Eilin."

She felt tears bordering her sad eyes. "This is tearing you apart isn't it?

He pressed his lips but kept his eyes steadily on her. "You and the child mean the world to me. Never doubt that." His rich voice tickled her spine.

"You'd follow me even if that meant that you had to break your promise to Erebor this time?" her finger touched the corner of his mouth gently.

"If you ever decided to place me in that merciless dilemma, doubt not that I would follow you and our Little Gem."

She looked up at his beautiful eyes that were so solemn and her heart broke into a dozen pieces. "And then you'd die..." she whispered.

His brows wavered with uncertainty. "What?"

"You'd die ...you'd wither and diminish until there was nothing left from you. If I force you to live like a blacksmith next to me in the serene Shire you'd finally vanish wouldn't you?" her eyes overflowed with tears.

His hand cupped her cheek affectionately. "My sweet Eilin."

She shook her head. "You'd shrink and fold into yourself until you'd be no more...if I kill the warrior in you, you will die..." the eyes of her mind envisioned his image at a derelict forge outside their small house, with his hair grey and his face dishevelled as she was yelling at him from the kitchen window with a crying child balancing on her hips. Her skin shuddered at the image. If she took him away from Erebor and his true fate, she'd slowly kill him and that would eventually kill her.

"I want you to be well and happy. Nothing else matters." he rejoined steadily.

She pushed him back with her palm and straddled him. She then cupped his cheeks and leaned down to him with a decisive frown. "I could ask you all these questions, but that would be unfair of me. I'd like to have you all to myself, but that will never happen, will it? I shall always have to share you with Erebor. This isn't about you breaking a promise to me, but more about me settling down with the knowledge that only a part of you will be mine. What remains will belong to your legacy. I didn't fall in love with a sword smith but with a mighty king and I need to expel all my fears and insecurities in order to be by your side, don't I?"

Thorin's eyes smiled. "You do and I know it's not easy for you."

She shook her head. "I never had a home Thorin. I don't see Erebor as my home yet and the fear of losing you to it had always been sizzling in my mind. I always secretly hoped that I could steal you away from this place and we could make a small home for ourselves in some remote area of Middle Earth. Get enfolded into our love and raise our children away from any demanding situations. I didn't find the proper person to do that with, did I?"

He frowned and cleared some tendrils from her temple. "I can try to get lost with you..."

She scowled with determination. "You would never get truly lost. Middle Earth cannot forget you. Your spirit would eventually fade away and I don't ever want to see you defeated... never." Her eyes teared up.

His reciprocated and cupped her cheek. "My beloved..."

"How could I have ever believed that it would be easy to stand next to a mighty King?" she whispered with a sweet smile.

He smiled too. "It is not. It needs you to become fearless."

She sighed and her eyes ate his face up in deep recollection.

"Do you regret this?" his brow creased.

She shook her head slowly. "No...Now it is my time to be fearless and brave."

A small smile of uncertainty flared on his mouth. She reached back and took the Raven Crown in her small hands. She was surprised by its weight that was both figurative and literal. She then gazed back at his worried eyes for a few silent moments. When she leaned down and placed it upon his head, those eyes released the tears that had been pooling there all this time. Her thumb reached up and cleared them from his cheek. "You look absolutely stunning right now. Gorgeous...simply gorgeous. The most handsome King of Middle Earth."

His hands squeezed her hips lovingly and his eyes seared into hers. "Thank you my heart." There was only one person who could have placed the Crown onto his head without him causing a fuss, and when she did he got ready to feel the fear he had felt before the Battle of the Five Armies. Yet, with her on top of him and her face swimming so close to his, he didn't feel anything more than utter gratification and her ultimate love shrouding him with a warmth that echoed into his soul.

She smiled and leaned onto his chest until their noses were touching. "Do you swear that the ghosts of your past won't steal you away from me again when you step on that throne?"

"Nothing can steal me away from you and our baby Eilin." his voice reverberated solemn through her spine and she shivered.

Her eyes fell on him eager to believe his words, but she remained silent.

"I promise!" He frowned and his thumb traced her bottom lip.

She shook her head, "don't...don't promise me please..."

He gritted his teeth and drew her face up until his mouth could seduce hers with a kiss that spread all her fears and uncertainties thin. Only when he felt her body relaxing above him and her breath quickening did he pull back. His eyes burned through her with all the sincerity he felt in his heart. "I promise, do you hear me?"

She nodded feeling dazed, but thoroughly reassured. "I do..."

"I promise..." he repeated more quietly. "I am not afraid to promise anymore Eilin, even though it might seem that my final promise was just broken today."

A bright smile formed on her lips. "Is it okay if I am a little bit afraid?"

He caressed her bottom lip with his thumb. "No, because I am afraid also."

"The mighty Oakenshield is afraid?" she raised her brows.

"Yes...for now there is something in Middle Earth that I value more than life. You and our child and I don't want to lose you." His brow wrinkled with worry.

"I love you..." she whispered and looked at his mouth transfixed.

"I love you more than anyone else in the world..." he spoke with a hushed tone.

"More than anyone?" she teased.

"Apart from our Little Gem," he murmured and looked at her well kissed lips intensely.

"We love you too," she whispered and his eyes teared up. She didn't allow him the chance to become emotional. When her arms enfolded behind his neck and she leaned down to kiss him thoroughly, he allowed her time and the pace that she needed in order to weave her magic around him. When finally she pulled away, his cheeks were a crimson red that fitted his azure eyes so perfectly. He pulled her head under his chin and his fingers burrowed into her thick mane caressing her softly. Then he began singing in a deep low tone that raised Eilin's hair in complete attention and waves of goosebumps chased her skin as she wrapped herself around him in complete rapture.

_"Under the Mountain dark and tall_

_The King has come unto his hall!_

_His foe is dead, the Worm of Dread,_

_And ever so his foes shall fall._

_The sword is sharp, the spear is long,_

_The arrow swift, the Gate is strong;_

_The heart is bold that looks on gold;_

_The dwarves no more shall suffer wrong._

_The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,_

_While hammers fell like ringing bells_

_In places deep, where dark things sleep,_

_In hollow halls beneath the fells._

_On silver necklaces they strung_

_The light of stars, on crowns they hung_

_The dragon-fire, from twisted wire_

_The melody of harps they wrung._

_The mountain throne once more is freed!_

_O! wandering folk, the summons heed!_

_Come haste! Come haste! across the waste!_

_The king of friend and kin has need._

_Now call we over mountains cold,_

_'Come back unto the caverns old'!_

_Here at the Gates the king awaits,_

_His hands are rich with gems and gold._

_The king is come unto his hall_

_Under the Mountain dark and tall._

_The Worm of Dread is slain and dead,_

_And ever so our foes shall fall!"_

He sang it again and again, with a softer tone each time, the depth of which synchronised with Eilin's very soul, until her hands fell limp onto his sides and her legs hang lifeless. When he felt her breath heavily steady, he stopped singing and picked her up. He placed her onto the bed and took a religiously long time to undress her completely as gently as possible as not to awaken her. Then he took off his crown and placed it around Kili's pot.

"Rest well," he whispered both at her and at his baby.

-.-

When he closed the door of his room he already knew where he was going to spend his night and it was not going to be next to Eilin, no matter how much he wanted it. He made his way silently, but resolutely through the King's Halls and the main entrance listening inattentively to all the guards presenting arms for him, but his mind was already twisting and turning as it tried to dig up information he knew was there since his young days as a prince, when he was studying intensely the Elder Scrolls and their laws. His mind with each deliberate step was digging up another piece of knowledge that he tried to weave into a protective shield that would prove watertight for his family, himself as a ruler and his kingdom when the time would come to give answers.

He shed the calm and careless Thorin of the Shire easily and gave his place to the King whose mind was able to switch into overdrive upon command. He made his way quickly down to the grand library where every Elder Scroll had been religiously hidden away from the prying eyes of the commoners for thousands of years. It was where the handwriting of Durin himself had imprinted these holy pages with it's immense legacy and Thorin had spent years of his life studying every word in them. He thought he remembered little of that painfully instilled knowledge, until the need arose for him to recall pieces of it. Then his mind proved that it was ready to deliver flawlessly. It was the hand of Dwalin that stopped him as he swept in front of the grand dining hall truly oblivious of his surroundings.

"Did you decide to come?" Dwalin's face was untroubled, Thorin's wasn't.

"What?" he stopped abruptly and tried to bring himself back to this reality and away from the Elder Scrolls.

"The feast, didn't Balin tell you?" Dwalin pointed at the dining cavern where music was playing and several happy voices were discussing and laughing out loud.

"No...no." Thorin shook his head and tried to resume his walk, but Balin made his appearance also.

"Did you decide to come laddie? I am so happy. This feast was for you!" Balin beamed.

Thorin's eyes penetrated his old's advisors broodily for a few silent moments before he spoke. "Give your mug to Dwalin and follow me."

Balin frowned. "What?"

Thorin raised his brow. "Your mug to Dwalin."

Balin gave it to his perplexed brother.

"Now follow me," Thorin commanded and resumed his course. Balin fell behind him without the need to question his King's decisions. Only when he saw the heavy sealed doors of the ancient library did he pause a few feet behind Thorin.

"You haven't visited this place since you were a young prince," Balin muttered and looked in awe at the huge doors.

Thorin took hold of the impossibly heavy wooden plank that was sealing the doors and tried to move it with no real success. Its weight and the ages that had left it untouched, created an invisible seal between the door and the plank, making it impossible to move. Thorin grabbed it again with more determination and pushed up, but it didn't budge. Balin moved quickly at the other side and tried to help him. "I don't think the two of us alone can move it. Its been sealed for thousands of years. Let me go and ask Dwalin for help. He can bring a dozen men down and we can all try then."

Thorin exhaled through his nose a whole bout of irritation. "Move back!" he snapped at Balin.

His advisor frowned. "Why?"

"Move back!" Thorin grumbled and Balin did so a mere moment before Thorin's formidable boot fell onto the side of the wooden plank with such ferocity that it broke free releasing a cascade of dust and debris on the floor. Thorin grabbed the massive plank with his arms and lifted it up. Before Balin could even try to assist him, he discarded it to the side. When it crashed onto the stone floor Balin jerked upright and grasped his chest.

"Are you trying to kill yourself by lifting such a weight? Your wound is still healing internally you know!"

Thorin ignored him totally as he pushed the doors open and averted his eyes when the closeted air of millenia exhaled on their faces.

Balin covered his mouth and nose and entered after Thorin. "Or are you trying to kill me either by a heart attack or by forcing me to breathe all this dust? What the hell are we doing here, tell me!"

Thorin kept ignoring him as he moved through the tall shelves that reached up to the top of the cavern and carried in them the Elders Scrolls and Laws in huge leather bound books. Balin tried to strike some brimstone in order to light up the torches at the wall and several candles on the desks, hoping they wouldn't crumble to dust under his fingers.

Thorin remembered the smell of this old library so well. It woke up the memories of his youth as half of it had gone by with him buried between the pages of one of these massive books. He moved deliberately through the racks and picked up book after book. Then he returned and emptied them carelessly with a loud thump that awoke clouds of time-honoured dust. Balin followed him and upon seeing that his friend was not answering any of his prickly comments about being buried into this tomb instead of enjoying a drink with his friend, he helped Thorin carry all these books to the empty desks that soon became full to the brim. Thorin reached out and stole Balin's reading glasses and began opening up the leather bound books. Soon enough he was engulfed by his studying and it was Balin's voice that made him look up after several silent moments.

"What are you doing laddie? Please tell me," Balin leaned his hand on the table and tried to look above Thorin's shoulder at the ancient runes of the Elders that very few people could read now in Middle Earth.

"I am preparing..." Thorin said thoughtfully.

"Whatever for?" Balin scowled.

"For every possibility..." Thorin whispered and soon was drawn deep into the written pages again. A task that pulled him down a rabbits hole that he wouldn't be able to get out of until the next morning.

Balin tried to draw Thorin's attention again, but failed. He asked if he wanted something to eat or drink, but got no reply. Only Thorin's silent command for Balin to take up a clean scroll and some quill in order to write down anything that the King was pointing from those books.

Balin understood very little of what was going on.

Thorin understood too much as the deep concentration he remembered so well from his youth tripped him over and away from reality again. Each book sent him searching in another one and then in another one as he tried to desperately find a piece of information that could prove truly valuable soon in his showdown with the Ironhills and Karunn's family.

An ancient abstruse exception to a rule.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Song for The King Under the Mountain - Songs and tales from J.R.R. Tolkien's work.


	56. One part shrewdness, three parts recklessness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always I want to thank my precious friend StephCalvino for everything she's doing for this story. For her beta reading and for offering me so many brilliant ideas that I am able to utilise. *.*

It took Thorin four days of intense studying of the Elder Laws in order to find what he wanted. Four days where he met several times with all the Lords about the riots that had been tormenting Erebor during his absence and the effect they had on the overall function of the kingdom. The moment the people understood that Thorin the second was not only the Mountain King again, but officially King of the North every single riot instantly ceased and Erebor resumed its former activities, only much more ardently. After Thorin's restoration to the throne, it seemed like everyone was out to prove themselves to their King. From the highest Lords to the lowest delvers and everyone in between. Such was the love and the respect the people had for him, but buried as he was mostly in the meeting rooms and in the library he couldn't truly feel it. He didn't have much interaction with the common people, who were so happy to have him back they always snuck behind some column or remained hidden in some alcove just to admire him as he walked by surrounded by his court.

The one who had a true difficulty understanding the love of the common people though was Eilin who got ultimately confused whenever someone was bowing or kneeling in front of her. Dis tried to explain patiently that Eilin was the future Queen, so she should get used to people treating her with reverence, especially after everyone learned that she was carrying the heir to the throne of the Mountain. People flocked in order to admire her stunning beauty and to muse enchanted at her ever growing belly. They were whispering behind their hands about how beautiful the heir was going to be. They saw hope in Eilin and her belly. They felt hope dawning in Erebor and in their lives after centuries of darkness, but for Eilin all this was at times overwhelming. She wasn't born a Queen. She didn't know how to handle the magnitude of the people's attentions and she was full of awkward nervousness. Something that truly appealed to Thorin to her dismay. When she was fidgeting with anxiety, he was biting his lower lip, truly bewitched by the red colour that had mounted on her cheeks and at how fast her bosom was undulating as she tried to describe to him what happened in the King's Halls when a number of people surrounded her in admiration. He suggested two royal guards to escort her at all times in order to keep the people away, she denied. She yearned for this love and acceptance. She longed for this forwardness towards her, she just didn't know how to handle the immensity of it all. He reassured her that he was there to help her learn. Slowly and patiently. No one was going to make her hurry through anything. She had all the time in the world to ease into her new roles in life, as a wife and a Queen, but the part of the mother was not so easy. He told her one night with a soft voice that their child controlled the time she had left until she became a mom, but not to worry for he was there to share the burden.

So at the end of each demanding day, Eilin usually curled up in Thorin's arms describing to him in every detail the way the commoners treated her, still uncertain what to do with all that ample love and unspoken approval. He listened to her patiently until she had emptied all her worries and then he gently reassured her that she needed to do nothing more than be herself. That is what the people loved in her. When she was thoroughly pacified about her new role as the Queen, she always shifted the conversation to Karunn and her need to face her. Thorin kept trying to avoid that confrontation on purpose, because he was afraid that any kind of stress might cause problems to Eilin's pregnancy.

She always rebuked irritated. "I am not made out of glass! You promised to allow me closure with this evil woman!"

Each day she came in strong to him and each night he managed to coax the annoyance out of her by running his fingers through her hair gently or massaging her pained back until she fell asleep. If those tricks failed then he used his amazing ability to create angelic music with his harp in order to lull her to sleep, but he didn't know for how long he was going to be able to avoid Eilin's steadfast request for a closure.

That morning Thorin left Eilin sleeping in their bed in order to get buried into his office since the very early hours of dawn. He was keenly concentrated on translating the Elder Laws he wanted, from the ancient runes to common speech when the door knocked and Balin peeked inside. "You free my King?" he inquired.

Thorin didn't break his focus. "I never am."

"Lieutenant Dongar is here to see you, per your request." Balin said and pulled aside to allow the impressive Lieutenant to come in.

Thorin looked up from the scrolls for a few silent moments before speaking. "Indeed. Approach Dongar." He said in a peremptory way.

The lieutenant walked in and when he reached Thorin's elaborate desk he kneeled down and placed his fist above his chest. "My King, I am at your orders."

Thorin's brow flicked slightly as his azure stare observed his sister's romantic interest for what felt like forever. "That will be all Balin."

His advisor bowed and closed the door quietly.

Thorin surveyed Dongar thoughtfully. "Stand up."

Dongar stood up and raised his eyes steadily at the King. "My Lord, I haven't been given the chance to welcome you back to Erebor officially yet. Allow me to do so now." He attempted a timid smile, but it was difficult because Thorin had always been a terrifying figure of authority for him.

Thorin leaned back on his golden carved chair. "Your conduct is most welcome."

Dongar bowed. "Please tell me what services I can offer you my King, for I am yours."

Thorin inhaled deeply and his eyes fell on the scrolls that were open upon his desk. "Onerous ones for certain."

Dongar sulked. "I don't know if I should be intrigued to hear that, or apprehensive."

Thorin leaned his elbow on the arm of his chair and his hand caressed his beard thoughtfully. "It came to my attention that you are well acquainted with Lieutenant Nyrthrasir of the Ironhills. Is that true?"

Dongar countenance remained calm as he replied. "Yes my Lord, we were good friends back then. I still consider him a friend."

Thorin inclined his head. "How much do you know about your friend's personal life?"

Dongar felt a few drops of sweat breaking on his forehead. "Less than I would have wanted. He was always a very private man."

Thorin pursed his lips. "I asked for information about him from the Ironhills and Lord Fain replied that he had been rather close to their family. A personal bodyguard of his wife if I am not mistaken?"

Dongar nodded, but kept his mouth sealed. With each passing word, it was beginning to become clearer why Thorin had called him here this morning and waves of dread began squeezing his stomach tight.

"During a short period of time he had taken over the protection of Fain's daughters also. Correct?" Thorin continued unfazed by the changing colours in Dongar's face.

"Yes, my Lord." Dongar shifted his stance as he was becoming increasingly nervous.

"All was well and good until out of nowhere he threw away all his distinctions in order to work in the deepest drifts as a miner..." Thorin waited for Dongar to pick up.

The lieutenant averted his eyes. "Yes, he had that misfortune."

"Lord Fain informed me that Nyrthrasir downgraded himself and chose to change profession, thusly creating a really turbulent environment for his family." Thorin continued.

"I was not aware..." Dongar began, but Thorin raised his hand in authority and the Lieutenant stopped.

"Do you think it is logical that one would choose to abandon a rather prominent military career in order to work as a miner? I am not offending that proud profession, but it is a rather shady move, you must admit."

Dongar swallowed heavily. "It is my King."

Thorin paused for a few moments, allowing Dongar to brew in a cauldron of uncertainty. "I'd like to hear your opinion on Nyrthrasir's shifting careers. You being his friend should have a better insight."

Dongar felt his throat growing drier with each passing moment. "I don't know my Lord."

Thorin stood up slowly. His tall imposing frame overtook the office and Dongar had to stop himself from cowering away. "This is the moment where things become complicated between us."

Dongar frowned.

"You declare ignorance whilst I am rather convinced that you do know what happened back at the Ironhills to your friend Nyrthrasir." Thorin's cold stare bore down on the Lieutenant heavy.

Dongar averted his eyes to his hands.

"I would appreciate it deeply if you divulged those secrets to me." Thorin's voice dropped low.

Dongar felt so on edge, that the moment Thorin's voice became firmer he lost every inch of control he had managed to maintain up till then. His voice elevated and he took an eager step towards the King with a pleading gaze. "My Lord, I know nothing! I swear..."

Thorin rounded the desk and raised his hand again calmly. "Lieutenant, you are a soldier. I would appreciate it if you also acted as one."

Dongar paled.

"Act honourably and reveal to me what happened to Nyrthrasir in the Ironhills. Tell me what cost him his prominent military career, which he tried to pursue with a clean slate here under my rule recently." He continued with a presence of mind that rattled Dongar's self certainty even more.

"My Lord, this secret you require of me is his to reveal. It concerns his family. Don't ask me to become a whistleblower, I beg you," Dongar replied with sincerity.

Thorin crossed his hands behind his back and his head lowered menacingly. "Your friend is screaming bloody murder on Karunn's name, after recovering from a suicide attempt that was also probably connected to her."

Dongar took a step back and his bottom lip began trembling.

"His wife that you are so willing to protect lost her baby, because he stood at death's door. Do you know why he is imprisoned?" Thorin's glare seared into Dongar's very soul rendering him weak.

The lieutenant shook his head in alarm. "His imprisonment was kept a secret by your family your Royal Highness."

"He slurred the honour of the future Queen and almost killed my unborn child by spewing lies about her to me." Thorin delivered coldly.

"Oh heavens..." Dongar stammered.

"My nephew informed me that Nyrthrasir's poor wife was kneeling outside the doors of this office, all the days I was missing, begging for some information about her husband and about his unfair imprisonment. You want to protect Nyrthrasir's secrets and his family, but his wife is already more exposed than he would have ever wished for." Thorin continued.

Dongar felt his legs buckling and he kneeled in front of his King as all the pieces of what had taken place started falling into place for him. "Oh, my Lord my heart is so broken that you had to meet a side of Nyrthrasir I believed had eclipsed. I am sure he thought he was doing the best..."

Thorin spoke over him. "For his wife and unborn child. As did I. That is not an excuse to destroy a family."

Dongar lowered his head and felt his eyes tearing up.

"What was his connection with Karunn back in the Ironhills Lieutenant? I already know, but I need your official testimony." Thorin's voice was full of steel.

"What will his punishment be my Lord?"

"Treason against the state is punishable by death." Thorin's lips curled up as he delivered that blow.

Dongar covered his mouth. "Please have pity on him."

"Like he had on me?" Thorin raised his brow.

Dongar closed his eyes in defeat.

Silence lingered long in the office until a heavy hand landed on the Lieutenant's shoulder and he shuddered. "You fear me too much."

Dongar opened up his eyes and inhaled sharply. He couldn't summon the courage to speak.

"I am not addressing you today as a King, but as a brother in law." Thorin's voice got warmer.

Dongar looked up shocked and his mouth dropped open. "What?" he croaked.

Thorin inclined his head majestically and squeezed Dongar's shoulder. "My sister is interested in you lieutenant and I won't be the one to stand in the way of her happiness. You have sustained all the tests I placed upon you, but this is the ultimate one and I expect you to deliver."

Dongar's eyes came alive suddenly and Thorin recognised that so he continued calmly.

"What will you do? Will you protect the already destroyed family of your friend that this woman tore apart or help the family of your future brother in law who barely escaped this woman's evil clutches?" Thorin raised his brow and kept his voice equanimous.

"I will speak...I will speak. Mahal may forgive me for betraying my friend's trust for the woman I love...but I shall speak." Dongar muttered under his breath.

"I am listening," Thorin said quietly.

Dongar closed his eyes and grimaced. It took him several moments to come to a resolution and when he spoke next his body was shaking. "Nyrthrasir was unfaithful to his wife with Karunn. She had a strong hold of him back in the Ironhills. When he decided to return to his his wife, Karunn turned all vengeance. She forced him to abandon the army with the threat that she was going to reveal everything to Myrna. They left the Ironhills happy to see the last of her and tried to build a new life here in Erebor, until she crossed his path once more."

Thorin's brow rose slowly as Dongar validated all his suspicions.

Dongar hurried to spit every word of truth he knew before he changed his mind. "She manipulated him my Lord. That's all she knows how to do, but she does it masterfully."

Thorin squared his shoulders and his eyes gained a gloomy shadow as he looked towards the fireplace. "Know that I appreciate your honesty and I shall reward it."

Dongar bowed his head and placed his tight fist upon his chest. "I will do anything for you and your honourable sister."

Thorin gazed down at him coldly. "I will need your official testimony."

"You have it!" Dongar responded with an eagerness the King didn't acknowledge as he got drawn into dark thoughts slowly.

Thorin's jaw flexed. "I don't need anything else. You are dismissed."

Dongar pushed himself up on wobbly legs and turned to the door quickly, needing to leave this office. On one hand he felt satisfied that he had offered Dis' brother the information he needed, on the other he felt like the worst traitor to his friend.

Thorin's voice stopped him just as he turned the handle. "You won't be allowed to come into contact with him yet."

Dongar felt his head pounding. "Please my Lord don't say anything to Myrna about all this."

"It's not my place to speak of Nyrthrasir's shortcomings to his poor wife." Thorin rejoined.

Dongar closed his eyes with an exhalation of relief. "Thank you."

"Before you leave..." Thorin's voice trailed.

Dongar felt his back shuddering with fresh apprehension. "At your orders my Lord, to my death." He squeezed his eyes tight, wishing for this torment to end.

"I left my sister in the great dining room. All this has affected her greatly. I am sure she will appreciate some good company." Thorin let the thought trail.

Dongar's lips parted and he inhaled sharply. "My Lord..." he looked above his shoulder with teary eyes.

"Dismissed." Thorin's voice turned stony once more after that small warm intermission.

"Your Royal Highness." Dongar bowed and gave the King a look that was a mixture between adoration and fear before closing the door behind him.

Thorin leaned onto his desk and crossed his arms on his chest. He kept his eyes directed towards the fireplace, not moving an inch until the door opened up and Balin's head made its appearance.

"He left?" he whispered.

Thorin nodded.

Balin came in. "So?"

"We have the third testimony and very soon I will have the fourth." Thorin said coldly.

"Third?" Balin frowned.

"Dain's soldiers have already signed theirs, right after Rhiannon." Thorin rejoined.

Balin rubbed his hands together and licked his lower lip. "Perfect. Was it difficult to make him speak?"

Thorin's brow rose slowly. "Not at all."

Balin swallowed heavily. "So you have almost all the testimonies and you can call her on a public trial."

Thorin fixed his heavy gaze on his advisor. "Who told you there will be a trial Balin?"

Balin crossed his arms and remained silent. "Then why do you need all these testimonies for?"

"Because trial or not everything shall be handled according to the Laws of the Elders and I need to have all the official paperwork in my hands." Thorin's eyes clouded.

Balin exhaled. "I don't know what you intend to do, but this will be very hard to manage."

Thorin nodded. "That won't stop me. I will stop at nothing until I am satisfied with this woman's punishment. I will bring Erebor to its knees if needed, but I shall have my revenge." Thorin's voice became so deep that it's timbre reverberated through Balin's spine.

The old advisor pressed his lips pensively. "I have no doubt that you will, but how in the name of Mahal will you manage to avoid the inevitable feud with Fain? Especially now that you managed the Dwarven Alliance, balances are truly thin."

Thorin looked back at his handwritten scrolls.

"Do you even have any idea how you are going to handle all this hell?" Balin frowned.

"I think I do." Thorin whispered and a ghostly smile appeared on his lips.

Balin's frown deepened with uncertainty.

* * *

That noon at the great dining room Eilin was sitting next to princess Dis trying to enjoy her lunch, but it was impossible. Her mind kept playing around with the idea that Thorin was trying to keep her away from Karunn on purpose and that no matter how many times she asked him for an audience he would find some cute little way to get out of it. She pierced a potato with her fork and placed it in her mouth angrily. Then she forced herself to chew even though she was not hungry at all.

Dis felt her discomfort and leaned over. "You don't feel well?"

When Eilin swallowed the potato, it also felt as if with it she also wanted to swallow her annoyance. "Tell me my Lady please...he's avoiding isn't he?"

Dis sighed patiently. "I believe so, yes."

Eilin's look didn't waver.

"He's avoiding." -Dis flicked her shoulder- "and I don't blame him."

Eilin crossed her arms and rested them absently on her growing belly. "You agree with this even though you understand how important it is for me to get closure with this woman?" she felt waves of adrenaline running down her back. She was not a violent person by any means. Actually she was always an advocate of peace, but at that moment as the memories of her separation from Thorin flooded her mind, she just couldn't control her anger. She wanted to throw down her fork stand up and push their table so hard that it would topple over. Then she wanted to walk down to Karunn's cell and get physical. Something that she had never wanted to do with anyone in her life. She avoided any kind of altercations, but each time she remembered the blood that had gushed down her legs in Bilbo's home she shuddered from fury. Whenever she recalled Dis' recent revelation about Thorin's suicide mission in Dol Guldur, her body woke up violently, longing to lash out at the beast who caused all this pain for them. Every time she remembered Myrna's lost baby, her eyes teared up as the mother in her couldn't even imagine the pain.

Dis pursed her lips. "I know my brother well enough. Don't interfere with his plans..." she began, but Eilin spoke over her.

"I am not talking about his plans. I wouldn't do anything to disrespect them, but I am talking about my own need, my Lady. My need to face the woman who destroyed us and ask her the questions Thorin hasn't asked her yet." Eilin's voice elevated.

Dis grabbed her arm. "Please keep your voice down sis. If Thorin wishes you to remain away from Karunn then that is what you must do. If he doesn't want to escort you to her yet, he has a reason. Listen to his orders please and stop acting foolishly. I understand your need, but please stop for the sake of all of us."

"His orders don't make any sense my Lady. He promised me closure and I cannot rest until I have it. The child in me almost died because of that woman. He almost died..." Eilin rebuked and her eyes overflowed with tears.

Dis bit her lower lip and cupped Eilin's hand. "I know you love him and you are ready to share your life with him, but you don't have much experience with him as a ruler. Nothing that Thorin does is without reason. None of his commands are without serious thought. He plans ahead for everything that concerns his rule and this woman's punishment is on the foremost of his attention at this moment. So, if I were you I'd trust on his judgement and respectfully pull back. He will give you your wish when he feels secure enough, I am sure."

Eilin closed her eyes. One hand cupped her forehead the other began caressing her bump gently. "I trust Thorin with my life, but my need to talk to Karunn is truly overwhelming. The more I know that the blood I shed out of my body was because of her, the more I want to face her. The more I remember how she broke us apart, the more I want to lash out at her..." She let that trail off with a whisper of uncertainty.

Dis raised her brow. "Lash out at her?"

Eilin felt the need to explain. "I want to lash out so bad that my body is trembling. I've never been violent my lady, but I cannot help myself. Whenever I remember Karunn's deeds I feel two hands ripping my heart open and allowing all the anger and fear I have suppressed in it spilling out uncontrollably. I didn't even know about Thorin's suicide mission! Not only did I get separated from him, not only did I almost lose our child, but I almost lost him to the darkness of the East and all that was because of her!" When she finished her tears had already released and were running down the bridge of her nose.

Dis pressed her hand tightly. "I understand your frustration, but you shall not attack this dangerous woman. You are pregnant and your primary goal is to keep yourself and your baby safe. You cannot act as if you are not carrying another person inside of you Eilin, straighten your attitude please!" -Dis admonished and when Eilin averted her eyes she wiped those tears away from her upper lip gently- "You will not endanger your pregnancy again for Karunn. My brother will go crazy if he finds out that you approached her without him being present. I know he's adamant that you keep away from her. He's told me, you and his royal guards also. He fears that any confrontation with Karunn will endanger your pregnancy and so do I. Only you seem oblivious of that danger..."

Eilin felt her stomach clenching painfully. "I don't need this kind of protection from him, I am not that sensitive. I need to be allowed the freedom to have my closure with this filth!"

"Then give him the opportunity to offer it to you, under the safety of his presence, alright?" Dis tried patiently.

Eilin's fingers stippled angrily.

Dis's hand cupped them gently. "Alright my angry beauty?"

Eilin felt her lips upturning slightly. "I will try."

Dis's mouth formed a gentle smile. "I see the fire Thorin has seen in you. You've kept it hidden for too long, but you need to learn how to control it now that you have the power to unleash it. The future Queen of Erebor must not react upon instinct, but upon careful thought, knowledge and patience. Thorin can teach you that very well if you subdue your fire long enough to listen to him."

Eilin looked up at Dis. The magnitude of these words felt too weighty on her soul. "The Queen of Erebor?"

Dis's smile widened. "Well, yes. You cannot react as if you are still a maiden in a tavern my dear. You cannot kick the door of her cell in, grab her by the hair and roll on the floor kicking and screaming."

Eilin's lips broke into a subtle smile.

"You are going to be the Queen of the people soon. Queens don't act on impulse, correct?" the Princess said patiently.

Eilin nodded feeling lost and her hands began numbing down slowly. The idea of the formidable dominion she had gained by being Thorin's future wife had always overpowered her, but right now it all felt too real for her.

"King's don't act on impulse either" -Dis continued, but in an afterthought she bit her tongue playfully- "Most of the times."

Eilin snorted.

"So trust him. He knows what he's doing." Dis resumed.

Eilin remained silent for a long time, while Dis' eyes were eating her up. When she finally spoke her face turned sour. "What about him trusting me, my lady? Shouldn't he trust me that I can face Karunn alone and not mess up? I know I was not born a noble woman and I don't know how to act like one. I don't know how to act like a Queen, but even though my instincts call me back to my roots, shouldn't I be trusted that I can face my enemies with equanimity in order to demand the answers I need from them without waiting for my husband to guide me through?"

Dis' fingers clutched Eilin's hand. "Trust is earned. It needs time to be built. It cannot be demanded."

Eilin's face paled.

"You need first and foremost to learn patience. That will prove to Thorin that you can be trusted to act alone in such demanding situations."

Eilin looked up at that steadily.

Dis scrounged her lips. "Nevertheless even if you had already proven that you can act prudently, I believe he'd still be on top of you due to your pregnancy. I'd enjoy that if I were you my darling. His protectiveness is not much different than my husband's or my father's. Settle down your worries and keep yourself safe, alright?"

Eilin exhaled and her brows creased in irritation, but she remained silent.

"There is a group coming for us. Let's practice you acting like a Queen!" Dis nudged her playfully.

Eilin opened up her eyes and looked with dread at a group of five colourfully dressed young ladies approaching. They were holding a large circular basket between them that had a beautiful assortment of snow flowers entwined into intricate patterns. They reached their table and then came down to their knees. "Lady Eilin, Lady Dis. Good morning."

It was easy for Dis to take over. "Good morning ladies. What's all this?"

One of the ladies stood up, but kept her hands crossed and her head bowed low. "We came to offer this token of love to Lady Eilin as a welcoming gift."

Eilin felt her cheeks blushing. "This is for me?" her mouth gawked.

Dis's hand pressed hers. "Lady Eilin appreciates your gesture a lot I am sure."

The girl that had taken over speaking for everyone bowed. "Just our way of showing you how happy we are that you have returned to Erebor my lady! It was made by all the women down at the kitchens!"

Eilin felt her eyes tearing up.

Lady Dis smiled. "You did a wonderful job. The flower crowns are beautiful."

Eilin's hand came around her neck and her fingers smoothed over Thorin's diamond necklace. "They are truly amazing! Thank you!" She looked at the basket enthusiastically.

The women smiled at each other happily. Another one from the back stood up and approached the table. "You used to be a maiden like us! We love you!" her words were so heartfelt that Eilin's eyes pooled with tears. She stood up then, forgetting all about acting like a Queen and rounded the table in order to embrace that girl. "I hope I will not let you down my dear," she whispered and caressed the girl's back.

"You won't my lady. You've given hope to all of us. When you left darkness fell on Erebor, but now that you are back hope is back also! We are at your service!" The girl rejoined fervently.

Eilin pulled back and wiped the tears away from her cheeks. "Thank you..." she whispered truly touched.

Dis remained at the sidelines enjoying how heartfelt was the embrace of Erebor towards Eilin, and how loving was hers towards every woman. Only when they left did she speak again. "They truly love you."

Eilin smiled brightly. "I love them too."

"Appreciate them, but keep your love for your family. Your attention and love will be demanded by so many people, that if you offer it freely to each and everyone you will have none left for your husband and kids. A ruler must be approachable, but there is a limit. Rulers must offer kindness and console their people, but they must do so from a safe distance that will not stain their everyday life. Balances are very thin, but you shall learn in time." Dis smiled at her sweetly.

Eilin got ready to reply, but the sharp voice of Lady Valdis made them both look towards the entrance.

The young daughter of Fain run up to them out of breath and grabbed hold of the table. "Please tell me that what I learned is a lie!"

"What do you mean?" Dis frowned.

"My uncle tried to keep it hidden from me, but something like that cannot be kept a secret for too long. My sister is under arrest isn't she?" Valdis' demanding stare penetrated Dis.

Dis scrounged her lips and raised her brow silently. She gave a muted warning of silence towards Eilin.

"What the hell happened to my sister?" Valdis frowned.

Eilin tensed.

Dis' hand fell on Eilin's forearm. "Steady my dear. Remember our conversation. As for you Lady Valdis, keep your voice down!"

Valdis felt the blood draining from her face. "Why is she imprisoned? What did she do?"

Dis' jawline flexed. "If the King and your uncle haven't informed you, then it's not my place to do it."

Valdis swallowed heavily. "She is my flesh and blood..."

Dis' brow lifted. "I am sure the King shall notify you when it is time."

Valdis' demeanour took a plunge. "I will go talk to him then!"

Dis' hand released Eilin and she straightened up imposingly. "You need to be patient and keep away from Karunn at the moment, much like Eilin. Know that the King has a very good reason for arresting your sister."

Valdis wiped away her pale lips. "I need answers my lady...am I to wait for the King in order to get them about something so important to me personally? About something that concerns my family? I need to know...I need closure desperately!"

Eilin's face became ghostly white. "Isn't she right though?"

Dis looked at Eilin in apprehension. "What's gotten into you now?"

Eilin shook her head and stood up sharply. "I need to go, forgive me."

Dis paled and turned angrily towards a bewildered Valdis. "Not a word from your mouth about this whole situation. Is that clear?"

Valdis was petrified.

"Not a word unless you want to lose your good graces with my son," Dis continued relentlessly.

Valdis inhaled sharply and bowed her head. "Not a word, my lady."

Dis grumbled in anger and dashed after Eilin. She knew her sister-in-law was about to act against all logic and Dis didn't have the time to search for her brother. She didn't want to leave Eilin alone long enough to search for Thorin. She had to do this on her own.

* * *

Down at the dungeons Thorin stood imposingly in front of the guards. "Is he still alive?"

"Just barely. He hasn't stopped throwing himself at the walls. We had to restraint him several times, your Royal Highness." The guard bowed his head.

"I see," Thorin replied coldly.

"His wife keeps coming multiple times a day, begging to see him," the guard continued.

Thorin's eyes thinned.

"We didn't allow her in your Royal Highness." The guard bowed.

Thorin looked coldly at the door. "Open it up."

They did so and he entered. The first thing that attacked him was the humid, stale air of the underground tunnels. The impulsive cringe that surfaced was pushed back by years of experience from living rough. The walls of the cell were dripping wet as a water pipe had broken. Almost every single available surface was saturated with mold. His heavy boots paced with a military tempo that echoed against the rocky surface of the claustrophobic environment.

A sound that was something between a groan and a gag came from a dark recess on the wall. The guard who followed Thorin passed in front and shed light on that corner with his torch. To say that the King was surprised by the deteriorating condition of Nyrthrasir would have been an exaggeration. He stopped in front of his ex-tormentor and looked down at him haughtily. Nyrthrasir was kneeling against the wall with his hands chained on it. His clothes had all been ripped to pieces by his valiant efforts to bring the walls of his confinement down. Puss filled scars were spread all over his skin and he reeked of piss and sweat. His once beautiful mane was mated and dirty and so was his beard braid that had ticks crawling in and out of its ridges.

Thorin sat on his heels and scanned Nyrthrasir's face calmly. It was black from dirt and Thorin felt unable to recognise the handsome dwarf that had spoken all these lies to him that dreadful night. He had a suspicion that he wouldn't be able to recognise him even if he was cleaned and combed. His face was a complete blank in Thorin's memory. The shock of Nyrthrasir's words had erased the characteristics of his face, but not of his voice. Thorin remembered that voice very well along with every single word that it had uttered.

Thorin lifted his hand, demanding the torch. The guard gave it to him. "Out!" he commanded. The guard bowed and closed the heavy door behind him. Thorin sat at his heels for several moments in thoughtful silence as Nyrthrasir was floating in limbo. Moaning and groaning, but not opening up his eyes to look at the King.

Finally Thorin decided to draw his attention in a much more potent manner. He stood up and placed such a vicious kick on Nyrthrasir's side that the man's eyes flew open and he howled in pain.

"I expect more pain resilience from one of my soldiers," Thorin spat in disdain.

Nyrthrasir heaved and squinted his eyes in order to see who was was standing loftily in front of him. The sudden realisation made his eyes fill with dread and a terrified exhalation along with a moan of pain escaped his throat.

"Do you recognise me or are you too messed up?" Thorin raised his brow.

Nyrthrasir's head nodded dumbly. "I know who you are, your Roy-al High-ness," his hoarse voice came out with difficulty.

Thorin remained impassive

"Am I still one of your sol-diers?" Nyrthrasir stammered.

"Until further notice yes, therefore I expect you to act as one," Thorin rejoined coldly.

Nyrthrasir tried to straighten himself which was impossible to do without a gag of pain. "I am at your orders my Lo-rd," he forced himself to say.

Thorin's lips broke into a sarcastic smile. He placed the torch into the wall and rounded Nyrthrasir. He took out a key and unlocked the manacles that held his hands up. "Are you indeed at my orders?" he rejoined.

Nyrthrasir's numb arms fell down at his sides and his eyes closed down involuntarily. "Only at your orders my Lord..."

Thorin scowled. "I thought you have only one master" -he stopped and his brow rose slowly- "That was a slip of the tongue. A mistress...you only have one mistress, possibly literally," he let the thought trail off.

Nyrthrasir hissed in anguish and averted his eyes.

"That mistress of yours destroyed my family and almost killed my unborn child." Thorin said deliberately.

"Karunn...she's not my mistress anymore." Nyrthrasir's whisper held in it hidden a terrifying shadow.

Thorin sat down at a protrusion of a rock and leaned his elbows on his knees. "That didn't stop her from using you, did it?"

Nyrthrasir lowered his eyes at his knees.

"Neither did it stop you from lying through your teeth about my wife's honour," these words were spat in disgust. Thorin's hands became tight fists and a wave of fear chased down Nyrthrasir's back. His tongue licked his upper lip through the gap Thorin's formidable punch had created that night in the woods. The teeth out of which he had spilled his lies about Eilin were now gone. He didn't want to raise the wrath of that terrifying King again.

"I did it to save my wife and unborn child..." he muttered not daring to look Thorin in the eyes.

"By destroying my wife and unborn child. How very noble of you. A just cause in your mind, no doubt..." each word was slipping out of the King's tongue with acidic accuracy.

Nyrthrasir shuddered. "That was the most serious mistake of my life..."

Thorin's solemn voice didn't allow him to complete his thought. "I am not here to listen to your half hearted guilt trips."

Nyrthrasir looked down in dismay.

Thorin raised his brow. "I don't care about your personal hell, but I do care about the hell you created for me and my family..."

Nyrthrasir closed his eyes and bowed his head. "Please forgive me...I plead for your mercy..."

Thorin straightened up indifferently. "You didn't have any mercy of me as you were throwing my world into ruins, did you?"

Nyrthrasir swallowed hard. "I would have rather died than live to see the royal family destroyed, but I did what I had to do to save my wife. You know what love can make a man do my Lord I am certain. You would have brought Erebor to ruins if it meant you could save the woman you loved."

"You didn't save your child. By trying to commit suicide you killed it." Thorin frowned.

Nyrthrasir's fingers flexed on the rocks underneath. "I didn't try to commit suicide my Lord."

That gave paused to Thorin.

Nyrthrasir gained the courage to look up to him. "I don't remember what happened. I only know that I was walking alone, trying to settle down my feelings about the nightmare I had created, when I felt something cold wrapping around my throat. I remember nothing else after that. I woke up in isolation. I wouldn't have endangered my wife's pregnancy my Lord, after speaking of all those lies and destroying your family. I would have remained silent hoping that I would go undetected for the rest of my life. Even though my words sound dishonourable and despicable to you, I am speaking of the truth."

Thorin's eyes thinned. "Someone tried to kill you?"

Nyrthrasir looked at his bloody palms. "I know it was her. She wanted to take revenge not only on you, but on me and my wife. She never forgave me for what happened back in the Ironhills. She's so vindictive and evil."

Thorin inhaled deeply and his forearms flexed in silent tension.

"Once I fulfilled her plans for you, she lashed out on me, making it look like suicide. She knew that my wife's poor health would either cause her to die or miscarry when she would witness my death. She managed to take her revenge on everyone who wronged her..." Nyrthrasir whispered and felt waves of fury rushing through his broken body.

Thorin crossed his hands in front of his knees and remained silent observant, something that filled Nyrthrasir with the need to speak more.

"The Maker was just in his judgment, my Lord. He saved your child and took mine. I worked as a tool of evil and I had to be punished for my actions." Nyrthrasir's eyes filled with tears.

"We don't have any witnesses of the attack on you. That renders your words meaningless. I don't have enough evidence to support an attempted murder." Thorin rejoined coldly.

"She did it! I am sure! Please believe me.." Nyrthrasir pushed himself up and scooted with his knees closer to Thorin.

Eilin's desperate pleads to be believed returned to Thorin with a vengeance and his eyes became hard and relentless towards the man who caused him to treat his One so ruthlessly. "So one criminal tried to get rid of another one. All this matters little to me, unless it can stand in a royal court as a valid accusation against Karunn."

Nyrthrasir paled. "I don't know if anyone saw what happened to me..."

"Therefore it remains useless information for me. As far as I am concerned Karunn could have gotten rid of you for all of us." Thorin rejoined unmoved.

Nyrthrasir cupped his mouth and tears cascaded above the back of his hands.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say that you are trying to find a gentle string in my heart to pull. Unfortunately there is none for you or Karunn. You almost killed my unborn child and you stained my wife's honour."

Nyrthrasir closed his eyes tight and bit the inside of his lip till his mouth filled with blood.

"You made me believe my wife was not only unfaithful, but a bloody whore!" Thorin spat and the adrenaline rush that overflowed him on that thought was sudden and unexpected.

Nyrthrasir cried in fear and grabbed his head to protect himself.

Thorin's nose flared. "You slurred my bride's name. You made her seem like the worst trash of Middle Earth..." he snapped.

Nyrthrasir didn't dare move as his body shook uncontrollably.

"You endangered the life in her loins by spitting those filthy lies from your mouth!" Thorin flexed his arms trying to control the fury in him from running rampart. This was not what he came here to do today, but the memories of Nyrthrasir's degrading words for Eilin were making him lose control quickly.

"I have lived to regret every single word I uttered my Lord..." Nyrthrasir stammered, but his words were cut short.

Thorin's weighty hand delivered him such a violent backslap that Nyrthrasir got hurtled back onto the wall he had been chained on, bashing his head on a protruding rock hard. Blood run down his nape and he cried in pain.

"You aimed straight at my family and I am out for revenge." Thorin hissed and his fists tightened.

Nyrthrasir fell onto the ground and his head swam with dizziness. "Plea-se ..." he stuttered

Thorin pressed his lips trying to settle down the fire rushing through his blood and settled down the confused thoughts in his mind. He needed to regain control quickly before he ended up killing one of his most valued key players. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes for several moments as he tried internally to quieten the frantic voices that called for blood. "Do you understand why you are in isolation?" he said finally after a long silent pause.

Nyrthrasir groaned in pain and tried to push himself up, but failed as the blood from the back of his head began pooling on the stones of the floor. "Y-es."

"Do you understand why you are not allowed to speak to your wife?"

A moan of pain escaped him and tears exploded just at the mention of Myrna's name.

"Do you know which crime you are being accused of?" Thorin continued forbiddingly.

Nyrthrasir's fingers clutched the stones under him. He didn't want to listen.

Thorin inclined his head. "Treason. Do you know the punishment for this crime in Erebor?"

Nyrthrasir swallowed hard. "Death."

Thorin inhaled deeply. "Death by public hanging. The golden bell of Erebor will chime three times to call the break of dawn before they lead you to the gallows pole. Giving you ample time to reflect on your past crimes. Three times..." -he drawled- "Exactly as many as it chimed that night you decided to destroy my family." His voice was rich with suppressed fury.

Nyrthrasir tried to push his dizziness away long enough to focus on Thorin's face. "I lost my child! There is no harder punishment than this! Kill me, but spare my wife of the knowledge. Let me see her once before I die...please!" He cried and tried to grab Thorin's boots again.

Thorin stood up slowly. His stony gaze fell on the man writhing at his feet. "Losing a child..." he whispered.

Nyrthrasir moaned and tried to wipe away his eyes.

"The thought of losing my child...it almost killed me..." Thorin's voice dropped into a menacing whisper full of dark undertones.

Nyrthrasir looked up in despair.

"Your actions led to the loss of your child and almost to the loss of mine..." Thorin's eyes glistened with sparks of retribution.

Nyrthrasir's breath got trapped as Thorin's eyes kept a firm hold of the whole of him.

"I want satisfaction...I want revenge..." Thorin's deep voice trailed off.

Nyrthrasir was hanging from Thorin's mouth.

"As I am sure you do..." Thorin's voice became challenging. He felt his anger backtracking quickly, allowing his cold calculative mind to take over once more.

Nyrthrasir's fists opened up and saliva run down the side of his chin. He had all but forgotten the blood covering his back or his head throbbing. "Revenge, yes..." he looked at the King dazed.

"Your poor wife... begging every day and night to see you..." Thorin's lips curled up in a cold smile that sent shivers down Nyrthrasir's back.

"Let me see her, I beg you!" he pleaded in anguish.

"You are on a death sentence. You won't be allowed to hold Myrna or mourn the loss of your poor child who was the only innocent victim of this evil scheme..." Thorin continued his cold blooded torment.

Nyrthrasir wailed and pulled out his hair.

"Myrna will attend your execution and I will make sure she's in the first row. She will listen to every single detail of your treason against the state, including your affair with Karunn. I might even gift her with your tongue after you die. Just a small reminder of how much excrement a tongue can deliver when it is ruled by a contemptible and sordid mind." Thorin raised his brow unemotionally.

Nyrthrasir's jawline flexed and his eyes filled suddenly with desperate pain. "Kill me! Kill me now! Thrust your sword through me, but spare Myrna!"

Thorin's lip upturned in a terrifying lopsided smile. "I will not spare her as your didn't spare my wife. She means little to me, but I know she means the world to you..."

Nyrthrasir threw himself onto the sharp stones of the floor and began bashing his head on them. He wanted to die quickly before listening to another torturous word from the King's mouth.

Thorin's hand grabbed the back of Nyrthrasir's head and kept him aloft. "You will not get away from me so easily. Not after the pain you delivered. I will cause you equal if not bigger pain or else I shall never rest..." he whispered with a menacing undertone and his strong fingers twisted painfully around Nyrthrasir's bloody hair.

Nyrthrasir hissed in pain. "Let me take my own life, please!" He pleaded with a broken voice.

"I wonder if Myrna's weak heart will keep on beating when she sees you hanging dead in front of everyone. Stripped from all your honours, with your infidelity exposed." Thorin continued mercilessly.

Nyrthrasir yell of pain tore through his vocal chords. "Have mercy, kill me just kill me now!"

"You want mercy?" Thorin's eyes thinned.

"YES!" Nyrthrasir fingers tried to grasp Thorin's knees beseechingly.

"There might be a way to make me change my mind about your impending punishment..." he let that thought float and released Nyrthrasir.

The man kept himself from hitting the floor with great difficulty as his arms were weak and shaking. His saliva got mingled with his blood and trickled down his chin and onto his beard braid. "Wh-at? What way?" he stammered breathless.

"There is a way to change what seems to be set in stone..." Thorin stood up and cleared his hands on his trousers.

Nyrthrasir looked up and tried to focus on the King. "Tell me anything! I'll do anything to change your mind and spare my wife! Ask me anything you want! My testimony maybe?! You have it, just don't show it to Myrna!"

"I want you to think...think long and hard about what Karunn's manipulation did to your wife. Instead of asking mercy off of me, ask for revenge against those who destroyed your family and killed your child."

Nyrthrasir muddled eyes gave out a flare of sudden recognition. "Revenge, yes..."

Thorin pursed his lips. "I am patient. I can wait. There will come a time when I will ask you a question and then I will demand an answer."

Nyrthrasir was frozen. Only his eyelids moved when he blinked.

"Until then, remember that nothing is set in stone." -Thorin said calmly and Nyrthrasir held his breath- "Not even your trial."

Nyrthrasir's lips parted and a defeated exhalation escaped him. "My Ki-ng..." he stuttered.

Thorin inclined his head once more and left the cell. He walked quietly away from the dungeons thinking how this confrontation almost cost him the control he valued so much, when a shrill cry of anguish made him look up sharply just in time to see a dark haired woman falling on him and grasping his waist in desperation.

"My Lord, you just exited the dungeons I saw you!" she yelled into his face.

He cringed and had to fight the urge to push this woman away. He had never seen her before. He raised his hands away from her body as she hang onto him like a barnacle. "Who are you?"

"Myrna, my name is Myrna!" -she cried and Thorin didn't need to hear anything else to understand- "I am Nyrthrasir's wife. Nyrthrasir? You know him, don't you? Was it him you visited in the dungeons your majesty?"

He bit the inside of his lower lip and grabbed her biceps firmly. Then he pushed her away as gently as possible. "Yes." He said solemnly.

She tried to hug him again, but he kept her at arm's distance.

"Why is he imprisoned my Lord? The guards are not telling me! He's in isolation and I don't know why! You must know why he's there my Lord, you must know! Please tell me I beg you! I lost my child, I cannot afford to lose my husband!" She kneeled down heavily and touched his boots in reverence.

His presence of mind was enough to sustain both of them at that moment. He pulled her up. "Hold on woman. Keep your tears at bay."

"Is he alive? Is he ill?!" Myrna's eyes were looking at him pleadingly.

"He's well," he lied.

Myrna's tears ran like rivers down the side of her nose and created pools of despair on her lips. "Why is he imprisoned my Lord? The only thing I know is that he was involved in an accident, which caused me to miscarry. Then he was in a coma at the infirmary when your guards came to take him down at the dungeons. What did my poor husband do to you!? Why did you order his arrest? He loved you, he admired you to the utmost! He was so proud to belong to your army!" Her voice floated in limbo between accusation and fear.

Thorin released her biceps and looked down at her solemnly. "He's an important witness in a case of treason against the state. He must not communicate with anyone until we have a satisfying resolution to this very important problem."

"He's accused of treason...?!" she muttered and all colour fled her face.

Thorin's jawline flexed. "He's a witness, he's not accused." He lied. Contrary to making Nyrthrasir believe his indifference towards this woman, now that he had her in front of him he was unable to play on her the same hard game he played on her husband.

Her shaking palms covered her mouth. "So..so...he's imprisoned in order to assist you?" Her voice sounded muted.

Thorin sighed deeply. "Yes, in order to keep the information he knows a secret until this case is solved."

Her eyes closed and her knees buckled as she all but fainted in his arms. He kept her up and looked around him for help. "May Mahal bless you and your family with health my King. Thank you...thank you for offering me this hope! I thought I was going to lose him also. I've lost our baby...I just couldn't live...I couldn't live knowing that he was going to die too..."

Thorin's lips pressed in disapproval. He didn't like lying to this woman, but he also didn't want to reveal the truth and destroy her. Myrna was just an innocent victim, much like Eilin. "All is well. You need to pull yourself together and stop coming down to the dungeons. When the time comes you shall see your husband again."

Her whole body quivered and she pressed her face on his metal plated vest staining it with her tears. "Thank you my Lord. Bless your all embracing heart!"

"Do you have anyone to take care of you? You can barely stand..." he looked down at her with a mild frown of concern.

"My cousin is home sleeping. I snuck out..." Myrna whispered.

"Like all the other times you've been at the dungeons...You've been sneaking out all this time?" Thorin's lips twisted.

She nodded fiercely and tried to wipe her nose clean with the back of her forefinger. "Yes."

"Where is your abode?" Thorin sighed patiently.

Myrna pointed the corridor they were to take and Thorin led her stoically back to her home. The moment the door closed behind her with many blessings towards him and his family he made his way quickly up to the ground levels, needing to get back in his office. He wasn't allowed though, because the moment he entered the King's Halls Balin and Dwalin caught up with him and they seemed rather nervous.

"Laddie, for heaven's sake where have you been?!"

"You know very well where I have been," Thorin scowled at his advisor.

"We sent soldiers to the dungeons, but they didn't find you!" Balin looked up bewildered.

Thorin closed his eyes remembering his detour with Nyrthrasir's wife. He pinched his nose and waved at Balin. "Matters not! Tell me what you want for I have work to do."

Balin grabbed his forearm. "Your lass has rushed down to the ninth level dungeons and your sister went after her. She was the one who told us to inform you."

Thorin paled.

"Was Eilin's visit to Karunn part of your well thought plans, because I am rather certain it wasn't..." Dwalin said cheekily.

Thorin turned to his friend annoyed. "Is this the right time to poke me? I have given strict orders for Eilin to keep away from Karunn unless I am there!"

"Well, apparently she disobeyed you..." Dwalin raised both brows in wonderment.

Thorin's nose flared angrily. "The guards have orders to keep Karunn in isolation. Eilin won't be able to get in."

Balin pressed Thorin's forearm. "How certain are you of that?"

Thorin gritted his teeth and pulled his arm free as he darted towards the corridors that led to the dungeons again. The all consuming air of fury that surrounded him dispersed everyone away from his path.


	57. One part rage, three parts love

 

* * *

"Open up the doors!" The first command of Eilin's life felt as terrifying to her as it was confusing to the guards that stood in front of Karunn's cell door.

They looked at each other uncertain of what to do for a few moments.

Dis grabbed her bicep in order to restrain her. Not that she had managed to do that successfully throughout their quick walk down to the dungeons. Eilin seemed to have been overtaken by an invisible force that Dis couldn't reckon with easily. "Be reasonable. Wait for Thorin."

Eilin pulled her arm free. "Not this time my lady. He will forestall me. Nay, he will deny me the closure I need with this woman and I will not be able to rest until I do this. I need to settle this between me and her once and for all. Her hatred had been spat on my face for years in the Ironhills. This isn't something that happened just lately. I need to face her!" -she turned to the guards and her tone was decisive- "Open the doors!"

The guards didn't move an inch.

Dis crossed her arms. "They listen only to the King my dear." She spoke stoically, as if addressing a stubborn child.

Eilin gritted her teeth irritated and her hands became small determined fists. "Open the door, this is an order from the Queen!"

Dis' mouth dropped open and the guards looked at each other one more time before turning towards the dainty creature with the determined voice that stood courageously in front of them. Knowing that the bump forming in her belly had been placed there by the King and this beautiful woman was in reality the future Queen Under the Mountain was enough to break their resolution. After a few long moments where Eilin was fighting the guards with her fiery eyes, against all odds they pulled back and opened the door for her.

Dis grabbed her forearm in terror, "don't go in there please."

Eilin's hand grasped hers and a small smile of reassurance came onto her well formed lips. "I need to do this, please allow me, my Lady. Don't become a new Thorin for me. Don't try to stop me."

Dis scrutinised her nervously for several moments and recognised the sincere need in Eilin's eyes. She felt her chest welling up and she swallowed heavily. "Fine, but I will come with you."

Eilin closed her eyes. "No please. If she sees you she will not speak to me as she would have wanted. This has to be between me and her my Lady."

Dis squeezed Eilin's hand firmly. "Forget it. I am not letting you go in there alone."

Eilin reciprocated the touch. "Trust in me please. Let me do this. Karunn will act like a lady if you come in. I want her to be free to express herself with me."

Dis hesitated. "No..."

"Can you remain outside for me? I'd feel secure knowing you are right outside the door. There are also guards here. Nothing will happen. We are just going to have a talk."

Dis licked her lips uncertain.

Eilin forced herself to smile. "The guards are going to protect me." The moment her eyes fell on them, they presented arms. Goosebumps rushed down her spine.

Dis gritted her teeth. "If I hear any noise I am busting the doors in with them. I am not giving you any more freedom than that."

Eilin nodded and squeezed Dis' hand gratefully. "Thank you for being so understanding my lady."

Dis gave her a curt nod. "Don't do anything that will endanger the baby, you hear?"

Eilin felt her throat constricting. "I would never do that my Lady."

Dis inclined her head after a few moments and pushed her in. "Thorin is going to kill me..."

A small sad smile broke on Eilin's mouth.

Dis' demeanour took a plunge. "Go...do it! Don't have any mercy for her!"

Eilin's perfect mouth scrounged in a grimace of pain. "Did she have mercy on me, Thorin or our child? She won't get any mercy from me." She then turned around and entered the cell.

Dis crossed her arms as the door closed behind Eilin. Then she started pacing outside nervously.

-.-

Eilin crossed her hands in front of her calmly. Karunn was sitting on a chair behind a table with her head bowed low, but the moment she heard the door opening she looked up. At first her gaze was confused and slightly fearful, but when she recognised Eilin it instantly became loathsome.

"The stable bitch..." she whispered with a low sinister voice.

Eilin inclined her head. "Indeed. The stable bitch..." her tone was quietly resolute. She didn't feel fear facing her old nemesis. A strange calmness had overtaken her from the moment she commanded the guards out of the way as the new Queen of Erebor.

"Did you come to delight in my dire state?" Karunn crossed her arms in front of her chest haughtily.

Eilin walked straight and proud and stopped in front of the desk. "I am not as mean spirited as you. I don't delight in anyone's pain. I came here to discuss with you..."

Karunn's lips tilted into a sarcastic smile. "What about darling?"

Eilin's brows lifted up to her forehead. "Darling? Since when are you using beloved appellations for me, even in such a caustic way?"

Karunn's face became coldly calculative. "Since when did you find a voice in order to make any discussions? I remember you struggling to look up from your torn boots, never mind stare a Lady in the eye and speak in this audacious manner."

Eilin's lips created a flatline of cold disapproval. "I met the right people who reminded me that I do have a voice."

The corner of Karunn's mouth lifted up in a lopsided smile. "Oh, indeed you met the right people and you took good advantage of them. You probably earned your voice as you were laying on your back and the King was buried between your thighs. Your first animalistic cries must have originated there. I cannot comprehend why he kept you next to him though. You've served your purpose by letting him blow off steam. That is the only thing you were worthy for..."

Eilin's mouth formed a patient smile. "That sounded a lot more jealous than you probably realised."

Karunn's face contorted in anger. "Jealous of whom? Of a stable bitch who had the luck to be fucked by the King of Erebor?"

Eilin stippled her fingers in front of her. "Oh, I am sure you are aware that we are engaged. You were there in the dining feast where the first official proposal took place."

Karunn's face paled.

Eilin nodded. "Of course you were. Hidden in the back. Away from the court of the princess by orders of the King."

Karunn's demeanour took a plunge.

"He really scolded you that day in the throne room, didn't he?" Eilin continued.

Karunn's nails scratched the table surface.

"His speech about self worth despite a person's fortune must have struck many nerves in you, didn't it?" Eilin teased calmly.

Karunn's remained quietly seething.

"You may have thought that you and him were alone, but the workers that were mending the statues heard and they were not as discreet to keep that scolding a secret. Now all of Erebor knows why you had a feud with the King. I don't doubt your family knows also." Eilin continued calmly.

Karunn did't reply, but her eyes threw daggers.

"What is it? Didn't your family approve of what you had done in order to get such a chastising from the King?" Eilin raised her brows.

Karunn swallowed heavily.

"I am sure they didn't approve, but I wonder if anyone ever told them why the King cornered you. They don't know that you pushed me against a wall and spat the worst degrading words in my face as you cut off my warrior braid, do they?" Eilin's face slowly began shifting with anger.

Karunn offered her a hateful smile.

Eilin scrounged her lips. "Did your mom give you another scolding for what happened with the King?"

Karuun's forearms flexed.

"Did you father perchance? The honourable Lord Fain who the King holds in such admiration?" Eilin continued.

Karunn paled and her bottom lip trembled slightly.

Eilin noticed. "Oh, that's what happened. Did your father ask why the King scolded you and you refused to reveal it?"

Karunn's gaze spewed fire.

Eilin nodded with great composure. "Of course you refused. Why would you reveal to the honourable Lord Fain such a despicable and unprovoked attack on a simple maiden, whose only crime was that she had earned the King's heart. Not stolen it -mind you- earned it with her true worth."

Karunn smiled mockingly. "You are so full of yourself, aren't you? The dung you were scooping from my stables is worth more than you!"

Eilin spoke over her. "I was never full of myself. It's actions like yours, that actually made me think better about myself. You tried to put me down, you tried to destroy my already poor self esteem but you managed the exact opposite."

Karunn's smile faded into a hateful expression.

"When did you decide to take your revenge against my husband I wonder..." Eilin's brows furrowed and she leaned close to the table.

"What revenge are you talking about you silly little tramp?" Karunn spat contemptuously at her.

"I remember you departed shortly after my husband scolded you. I was the one who helped Lady Valdis make your carriage. I remember your sister was very worried about your decision to leave Erebor unescorted..." Eilin frowned.

Karunn pressed her lips scornfully. "Where are you taking this?"

Eilin tilted her head. "I am taking exactly where you took it. Back at the Forsaken Inn..."

Karunn stood up so quickly her chair toppled over. She leaned over the table heaving. "What the hell..."

Eilin observed Karunn's face closely. "Do you think your arrest was a mistake?"

Karunn eyes filled with confusion. "Of course it was a mistake. I've been telling the guards. The minute I speak to the King everything will be cleared up."

"Oh, you have no idea yet, do you?" Eilin frowned.

Karunn's eyes thinned hatefully.

"You are still confident that no one has figured you out, aren't you?" -Eilin's brow filled with wrinkles of surprise- "I thought that you would have realised from the first moment why you got arrested."

Karunn raised her brow. "No one told me the reason! How did you know about the Forsaken Inn?"

"Surprise of all surprises, your scheme has been revealed..." Eilin pulled back calmly.

Karunn's lips pulled back to show her teeth. "What?!"

"Rhiannon made it out alive. She's under the protection of the Royal family. She exposed everything that happened at the Forsaken Inn and on the road..." Eilin trailed off trying to figure out what Karunn wanted to do at that moment. She looked in limbo, somewhere between becoming physical and fainting.

"And you think the King will believe the crazy mumblings of a whore instead of the words of a Lady?!" Karunn snapped and crashed her palm at the table.

Eilin shook her head. "You are not only vindictive to the point of madness, you are also delusional. The King is already taking testimonies about your connection to the Forsaken Inn and to Lord Nyrthrasir. About your scheme against his family and against the Royal family also. There are more witnesses than my friend Rhiannon and they are all speaking. The King is preparing to take through a trial."

Karunn's upper lip trembled and her hands grabbed the sides of the table. "You are lying..."

Eilin raised her brow. "You attacked me in the most cowardly manner that night in the corridors and cut off my braid. The King found out and gave you the once over, leaving your ego bleeding on the floor. Did you swear revenge on him for that day?"

Karunn pushed the table out of the way and it toppled to the side.

Eilin kept her ground and thrust her chin up proudly. "Did you promise to destroy the haughty King who degraded you and also me for gaining access to his heart? I wonder...did you ever see yourself in my place?"

Karunn took another menacing step towards her. "Shut up..." Her eyes fell on the bump on Eilin's belly.

Eilin tilted her head. "How could you have the misconception that someone as honourable, kind hearted, courageous and proud as the Mountain King would ever give someone like you a second look?"

Karunn moved closer to Eilin and her hands became tight fists. "Shut up or I will make you shut up once and for all, I swear in the name of the Maker..."

"You shouldn't take Mahal's holy name into your filthy mouth. You are the worst filth I have ever met. You didn't feel any remorse in using Lord Nyrthrasir against the King and me and you didn't feel any pain from causing his wife to abort. You stained my reputation to my future husband and you didn't care that you destroyed two families on your way to healing your bloody ego. I wouldn't be surprised if the evil that spawned you was born in the fires of Mount Doom from the beasts of hell themselves. I've never met anyone as cold hearted as you." Eilin hurled at her.

"I'll show you what I am capable of you filthy bitch! I'll kill you right now and rid the royal family of your dirty blood and of the damned baby in your soiled loins! The heir to the throne of Erebor...don't make me laugh. It's just a fucking interracial piece trash much like yourself and when the people realise they are going to throw you and your fucking bastard out of Erebor!" Karunn's eyes were full of wrath as she raised her hand and tried to strike Eilin.

Eilin grabbed her hand and stayed it with surprising strength for her size. She remained silent, but her eyes bore onto Karunn's. "Oh, you are jealous indeed." She realised with calm determination.

"You had the audacity to get into the King's bed and you deceived him with your pretty eyes and thin waist until his mind was gone. Thank Mahal he's no longer on the sacred throne of Erebor, because his mind is sadly overtaken by a whore! He would have taken us all down with him on a road of degradation and immorality!" Karunn tried to pull her hand free, but Eilin kept it steady.

"You are so selfish the idea of true love has never crossed your mind, has it?" -Eilin whispered- "Life for you is a constant game for power control. You cannot accept loss and you cannot feel for anyone else but you. That is why it's so easy for you to destroy people without shedding a tear of regret..."

Karunn hissed. "I've felt love and I've felt its betrayal you damned whore! Don't act so self righteous. I will get my revenge against all those who wronged me and I don't care if I do that against the very Gods that created us! I am entitled..."

"You are entitled to retribution for your crimes, nothing else in the eyes of the Gods and the people! That punishment will come soon from the King himself!" Eilin spat for the first time beginning to lose her patience.

Karunn pulled her hand free so quickly that Eilin lost her grip and instantly two freezing hands wrapped around her neck and began throttling the life out of her. "You come here acting all saintly and good, daring to talk to me as if you are some lady just because the King has been fucking you to oblivion..."

Eilin's small fingers tried to burrow under Karunn's iron grip as she tried to free herself.

"You worked as a bloody servant in a sleazy tavern, sleeping in torn clothing and having men raping you. Your body is stained, your soul is stained, your mind is broken! My family saved you from the wilderness and what's your gratitude? You enter the services of the Princess and slowly burrow your way into the King's bed. I must admit that you are much more clever than I have given you credit for. I tried to reveal the truth to them. I tried to tell them that the King deserved better, but no one was listening. You've stolen his poor mind! As for my idiotic sister. I never cared about her capturing Thorin's eye. If that happened I would have discarded of her also. It was  _me_  that should have been by his side. It was me that his eyes should have been looking at with such adoration. My body that he should have been revelling and kissing to ecstasy. It was my hair that should have bore his beads and my fingers his rings! King Oakenshield should have fallen in love with me, not a fucking stable whore!" Karunn squeezed Eilin's neck mercilessly.

Eilin's eyes began getting blurry. One hand released Karunn's iron grip on her throat and came down to protect her bump.

Karunn noticed. "And now you are pregnant you filthy whore! You carry his child in your dirty loins. The interracial filth that is supposed to be the heir of Erebor's throne...I will kill both you and it before he kills me...and I want to see your eyes as you suffocate slowly...look at me!" she cried in fury.

Eilin was at the point of fainting when suddenly the door of the cell was kicked open and a wave horrifying wrath swept over the environment, drawing Karunn's eyes away from Eilin's. Karunn released her throat a mere moment before Thorin's hand wrapped around hers and pushed her back to a column, lifting her up several inches from the ground. "Keep your hands away from my wife!" His deep voice grumbled and Karunn would have screeched in terror had his steely grip allowed her the air to do it.

Eilin kneeled down heavily and began coughing. Dis dropped next to Eilin full of tears and embraced her protectively. "I shouldn't have left you alone in here! I knew it!"

"Then why did you?!" Thorin directed his rage on his sister.

Dis looked up at him petrified, not knowing what to say. Eilin lifted her hand trying to gain his attention, but her throat felt too sore to speak. He turned viciously back at Karunn. "I swear to Mahal, today you have taken your last breath..." he hissed at her face and his fingers squeezed that fragile neck so much that he felt her nape crackling under the pressure. He was a breath away from snapping it like a twig.

Karunn's eyes popped out of her head and she gagged.

Balin came in quickly and wrapped his arms around Thorin's shoulders, trying to restraint him. "No laddie! Not like that! If you kill her like this you will have the Ironhills on your case! Do it the proper way around!"

Thorin reached behind him and grabbed Balin's tunic. He ripped him off his back and threw him several feet away to the floor with an ease that shocked Dis who was trying to help Eilin breathe again. After that small unwanted break Thorin turned his murderous eyes to Karunn again even though hers were closed tight. Her mouth was gasping in a futile effort to draw a breath and her small fingers were trying to get a grip on his that were wrapped around her whole neck like pincers of death. "You slurred the honour of my wife, almost killed her and my unborn child and cost the life of another unborn child. I won't rest until I see you dead..."

Her legs kicked, aiming at him hopelessly, but he was totally unaffected by her tries to get him. His lips almost touched her earlobe. "You dared to touch my wife...my child..." his whisper was darkly ominous. Karunn's hands fell limp on her side and saliva trickled down her chin and over the back of his hand. Her legs stopped kicking and her body began convulsing. Thorin's eyes had gained the frightening capacity they had when he was at war as he felt her dying under his hand and waves of pleasure rippled through his body. He was out for blood at that moment and nothing was able to stop him. Not Dis' desperate pleads or Balin's hands that tried to pull him away from Karunn's almost lifeless body. He felt and heard nothing. Nothing was able to pass through the blind fury that had overtaken him. Nothing except from one thing.

Her beloved melodic voice.

The same one that woke him up with that beautiful song when he was recovering from his deadly wounds. "My love?"

His lips parted and he felt his chest trembling from the adrenaline that had overflowed him.

"Let her live my love. Let her live to be judged by the people and by her family. Let her be judged for her crimes, please don't kill her." Her doting voice was still hoarse from Karunn's try to choke her.

He shook his head trying to clear the rage that had overtaken every logical process in his mind. "Pull back Eilin, I cannot vouch for my actions." he warned her.

Dis tried to pull her back. "Eilin don't approach him! He's dangerous right now!"

Eilin pulled free from Dis' grasp and kept her loving eyes on his face. "Not to me he isn't..." she whispered and came at a breathing distance from his heaving chest. She looked at his eyes that spat the very fires of hell onto Karunn's livid face. His teeth were gritted and beads of sweat had broken onto his forehead. She reached up and her fingers smoothed over his skin and tunnelled through his hair at the temples. He shuddered and she felt it. "I am here my love..." she said in a hushed tone. "I am alive. She didn't harm me...Don't fall down to her level. You are not a murderer..."

He closed his eyes and his lips parted. His hand remained immovable on Karunn's neck, stopping all blood flow to her brain, keeping her in limbo between life and death.

She wrapped her small arms around his back and leaned her head onto his chest, listening to his heart drumming under her ear. "She was unable to hurt me before and she was unable to do it now. Release her...You are blinded by anger and fear, but I am well. My love, you are so much better than this..." she said and gave the sweaty skin, that his half open tunic had revealed, a kiss.

His hand didn't move, but his head turned around until his nose was buried into her red mane, inhaling her scent deeply.

Eilin's hand sailed down his arm until she touched his stiff fingers. She felt Karunn's bodily fluids running down her wrist and tried not to gag. Keeping her eyes closed, one arm tightened around his waist and the other cupped his hand that was squeezing Karunn's life out of her body. "Let her be, please. I am here in front of you, my love. I am well, I am unharmed..." she repeated and placed a soft kiss of adoration onto his neck. She felt the hair on his body standing in attention and after a few terrifying moments where everyone was counting inwards Thorin's iron grip opened up to release Karunn who fell like a rag doll onto the floor senseless.

Eilin smiled and felt her heart exploding with her love for this man. His arms came down and enfolded onto her fiercely and then his mouth planted several fervent kisses on the top of her head.

She nodded, understanding his need to make sure about her well being. "I am well, I promise..." she said quietly.

Balin exhaled in relief and cupped his face. Dis stood up angrily and mumbled curses in Khuzdul under her breath as she tried to restraint her tears.

Thorin's fingers tunnelled through Eilin's hair and then they twisted painfully in his desperate need to make sure she was alright. He asked the question breathlessly into her wild mane. "Are your hurt?"

"I am not hurt at all, my heart..." she ran her palms firmly on his back.

"Our Little Gem, is it harmed?" his voice faltered.

She shook her head vigorously. "No, we're both well! Please don't worry..."

Thorin nodded and pressed her in his arms until he could feel his breath slowing down if only fractionally. Then slowly his fear about Eilin's safety abated, but his anger remained unwavering towards Karunn who was writhing on the floor close to his boots. He took several deep breaths of Eilin's comforting scent, feeling her thin frame pressed between his strong arms and her big belly pressing on his lower abdomen. He gave another kiss on her forehead and then his lips smoothed lovingly towards her ear.

She shuddered and squeezed her eyes tight.

"Now get the hell out of here before I take my anger out on you this time..." he spoke in a hushed tone.

"What?" She pulled back and opened her eyes.

He raised his brow. "Not a word...out!" he commanded angrily.

"Thorin...!" she wanted to complain at this sudden change of his demeanour.

"Out Eilin!" he pushed her away and his lips pressed decisively.

"Hey..." she exclaimed feeling suddenly at a loss. "Wait a minute!"

He turned to his sister with a cold countenance that confused Eilin even more, especially after that breathtaking hug he gave her a few moments ago. "Dis get my wife out of here, before I do anything I will regret in front of her!"

Dis stood up and quickly grabbed Eilin's elbow. "Come with me! Enough!" she cried.

"No, I am not leaving." Eilin spat at Dis, then when she turned to Thorin her eyes filled with tears- "What's gotten into you?! I told you I am fine!" she cried.

Thorin raised his brow and showed them the door. "Get her to my office..." -When his heavy glare fell on Eilin it stripped her of any resolution she may have had up till then- "You'll wait for me there! This isn't over..." his voice held a dark tone of warning.

Eilin tried to answer, but Balin stopped her this time. "Listen to him lassie. Just go..." he said with a meaningful stare that stopped Eilin in her tracks.

She inhaled sharply and her eyes tried to find Thorin's, but he was looking down at Karunn.

Dis pulled her again to the door and this time Eilin didn't resist. "Come with me. We've done enough to rattle the boat don't you think! Follow me!" The princess commanded.

Eilin had only one moment to look at his stiff shoulders as the door closed behind her.

* * *

Thorin paced in the dungeon like an enraged wild animal. Balin was looking at him going back and forth and didn't know what to do. Karunn was trying to get herself off the floor and each time she tried to speak she ended up choking so bad that rivers of saliva ran down her chin, staining her expensive dress.

"We need to get her up." Balin tried warily.

The King stopped pacing and looked outraged down at his pray. He gave his friend a sinister hiss with eyes that spewed fires.

Balin rubbed his forehead. "She needs to be able to listen to the accusations against her and to be able to comprehend them. It's the laws of the Elders. Your fury is blinding you right now. Killing her might clench your thirst for revenge now, but that's the way of the wilderness. The Mountain King must never act on rage. It's your words laddie, not mine."

Thorin's chest was heaving.

"It was your decision to do it properly, with all the typicalities of our laws. In front of her family. Now you cannot just do her in, while she is your prisoner. I don't like her one single bit, but under arrest she still has rights. If you step over them the Ironhills will come down on us like a tone of bricks. Do you wish to create such hell? Even Dain who is on the same page as you won't accept you choking her in this cell. Just please calm down and think rationally. You are more than able to do so, it's just that now you are blinded by rage. Eilin was not harmed, I repeat!" Balin tried to reason with him.

Thorin felt his hands trembling visibly and he crossed them behind his back, away from Balin's scrutinising gaze.

"Our laws and the witnesses you have give you every right to strip her down through our judicial system, in front of her family and your court. In front of common people even, if you decide to take this into a open trial. Killing her alone in her cell will cause your reputation irrevocable harm. Do not allow her to harm you after death also. Hasn't she done enough to you and Eilin already?" Balin continued.

Thorin's nose flared as his eyes fell with terrifying hatred on Karunn who was trying to stand up. She seemed dazed and unable to comprehend what had happened.

After a terrifying long silence, Thorin's dark whisper sent all of Balin's hair into attention when he spoke. "Pick her up..."

His advisor approached Karunn and helped her up silently.

When he saw her standing up again a low growl of loathing woke up from his chest and Balin cowered away. "Calm down Thorin. Breathe...Eilin is well, she was not harmed." he tried to speak quietly even though he was truly worried by the easiness with which the King had almost snapped Karunn's neck a few moments ago.

Thorin raised his hand at Balin. "Silence! Keep her up!" his voice echoed like a sharp whiplash.

Karunn screeched and tried to get away from Balin in order to hide.

Balin grabbed her forearm and pressed it tightly. "Don't fight. I'd stay still if I were you, okay?"

Karunn trembled and leaned her head back to the column. She covered her face with her hands, trying to avoid Thorin's fiery gaze.

"Why were your filthy hands around Eilin's neck?" the question came slithering darkly through the floor to her.

Balin tightened his teeth and his grip on her arms. Karunn shook her head, but the moment she opened her mouth to answer only a gag came out.

Thorin moved so quickly that both Balin and Karunn jerked away. He placed his hands next to her head and his long thick mane created a curtain around both their faces. "Why were your hands around my wife's neck!" he roared.

Karunn screeched and tried to pull away from him.

"Thorin, please see reason! Calm down!" Balin grumbled. He wanted Thorin away from this woman as quickly as possible. This was far from the always calm and calculated King that Balin knew. This was a man who was barely in control and that was dangerous.

Thorin's eyes bore into Karunn's until she was unable to look away. "I want to hear you say it..." he whispered with hatred.

Karunn remained frozen, trembling like a leaf.

"Say it!" the command slashed through the air like an arrow.

Balin averted his eyes and Karunn yelled in fear.

Thorin pushed away from her and his fist came down with such ferocity on the column a few inches from her cheek that she howled in terror and dropped to her knees. She grabbed her head and began rocking back and forth as pieces of stone and debris from the destroyed column fell on her head.

"You missed her face by a hair's inch! What the hell are you doing?!" Balin cried and pointed at the column that had collapsed from the point of impact and up completely.

"She's lucky then isn't she?!" Thorin brought his face down on Balin. His eyes were blazing.

Karunn knew without a doubt that this man was going to kill her. She gathered whatever courage she had left and bolted up with a cry of fury. "I demand to speak with the King!"

Thorin drew his sword so quickly that Balin missed it. He extended his arm and the sword stopped Karunn's advance violently. She fell on it with both hands and hissed at the deep cuts Orcrist created on her palms. She raised her bloodshot eyes to Thorin bewildered.

His brow lifted slowly. "You are speaking with the King..." his voice was alarmingly quiet.

An exhalation of defeat came out of her mouth and she pulled back cradling her bloody hands. "No...no...please...no", she stuttered with eyes full of dread.

Balin turned to Thorin who approached her with his sword raised. "You are slowly killing her laddie...for the sake of Erebor, please stop..."

Thorin swallowed through a tight throat and run the pointy end of his sword down her cheek until it poked her adam's apple. She inhaled sharply and raised both hands. "Me-rcy, ple-ase..."

The moments rolled by painfully slow with each heavy breath and suppressed groan that came from her heaving chest. No one dared to move. Not Balin who knew he could trigger Thorin's hand and send the sword through Karunn's neck with the simplest cause. Nor Karunn who didn't even dare to breathe as the sword was almost breaking through her skin. Neither Thorin who was counting his breaths internally trying desperately to calm down. After several edgy moments where Thorin was keyed up and ready to strike, it was the carefully counted words of Balin that made his head clear up if only slightly.

"Don't kill her...think of your child and your wife. Think of the crown and everything you have accomplished. Don't throw your brilliant legacy away for this filth...laddie please." Balin spoke with a hushed tone.

Thorin's cold stare never left Karunn's as his sword twisted slightly. Tremors of horror rushed down her body. Then as suddenly as he had drawn the sword out, he pulled it away from her. She inhaled sharply and squeezed her eyes tight.

The King's eyes bore down on her. "If my fist was aimed a little to the right and it would have landed on your face I wouldn't have felt any remorse. Hadn't it been for my unborn child I would strike you again and again until I could pull your merciless deceiving heart out of your throat. I would do it in order to feed my need for revenge if it wasn't for my wife who is expecting me to act honourably towards a beast that deserves only ruins. I missed your face for Eilin's sake, not because of the ethics my father raised me with." He spat in derision.

Karunn's knees unlocked and she fell onto the floor with a howl of despair.

Thorin sheathed his sword and looked at Balin as rivers of sweat run down his temples. "Tell her what she's accused of." He spat disgusted and turned around not wanting to look at her anymore. Even one look was enough to ignite his need for blood again.

Balin exhaled in relief and unrolled a parchment. "Lady Karunn, daughter of Lord Fain, maiden of the Ironhills, you are accused of the murder of an unborn child, attempted murder of the Queen, attempted murder of Lord Nyrthrasir, attempted murder of Rhiannon Cearrach, deception against the Royal family, deception against Lord Nyrthrasir's family and treason against the state."

Karunn bawled and grabbed her stomach as she doubled over. "No...no no! It's all lies! Everyone is a liar!"

Balin continued. "According to the laws of the Elders the punishment for your deception is having all your facial hair removed and being stripped of your titles. Your warrior braid is to be cut off."

Karunn punched her face with her bloody fists as tears run down her chin. "They are all liars...liars!"

"As your actions led to the murder of an unborn child you are found guilty of the biggest crime that could have been committed in Erebor. You are to be branded with the rune of the hunted and executed in the gallows forthwith."

Karunn grabbed her hair in despair as sobs raked her chest. "I want my mother! I need to speak to my father!"

"For the ultimate treason against the state, you are to be branded with the rune of treason and you shall be executed in the gallows forthwith." Balin continued unemotionally.

Karunn screamed and jumped on her feet with surprising agility. She fell onto Thorin and grabbed his waist. "Spare me please! Everything I did, I did it for you..." she sobbed.

Thorin's eyes thinned on her. "In order to take your revenge..."

"In order to show you that you deserve better..." -Karunn hissed and her fingers clawed his heavy belt hopelessly- "I didn't mean to cause all these deaths. I didn't mean to destroy all these families. I just wanted to make you understand."

"Make me understand what? You lied, you manipulated and you destroyed. You caused one woman to miscarry and another one came very close to doing the same. You lied, exploited and tried to kill a poor woman on the other side of Middle Earth just in order to play your evil little games. You got mingled and used the help of thieves, murderers and people of questionable ethics just to get your way." Thorin pulled away in disgust.

She fell on her hands and knees and exhaled. "You deserved better! Not that blinding whore who used to clean my horses! Your children should have been born out of a sacred clean womb of a proper dwarrowdam. Your holy blood shouldn't have been mingled with the dirty blood of an interracial bitch!"

Thorin gritted his teeth and closed his eyes. Balin's hand fell warm and heavy on his forearm stalling his two trembling fists from crashing Karunn down. "No, she's doing that on purpose. You shall remain calm!" Balin spoke steadily.

It took Thorin several moments to speak again. "You are sick..." he spat in revulsion.

"I don't care about your stable bitch, nor about my idiotic sister who wanted to get your attention and once she failed she turned her eyes to your nephew! I was always there in the shadows ready to show you exactly what you deserved, but you never looked at me! You fell in love with a whore instead of a lady! She bewitched your mind and now you have none left to see the truth!"

"I wouldn't have looked at you even if you were the last woman on Middle Earth..." he spat in a low tone of contempt.

Karunn's mouth curled up with hatred. "You should never underestimate a woman in scorn!" she spat.

He shook his head and his brow clouded. "You escaped my sword and my fist by a hair's inch today. Did you listen to the accusations that await for you in the trial?" Thorin tried hard to gain his composure back.

She swallowed but didn't speak. Sweat and saliva was running down her bosom and her bloody palms had stained her expensive dress.

"Did you understand them?" Thorin repeated and his eyes burned through her.

She gave him an imperceptible nod. "I did."

"Do you have any words to say in your defence?" Thorin raised his brow as his heart slowly began settling down.

Her eyes penetrated his with suppressed loathing. "I am sorry I failed to make you understand."

A curtain of coldness covered his eyes and his brow rose slowly. "Your fate has not been decided yet, but if there is to be a trial, it will behind closed doors. I still hold a lot of respect for your father."

"I wish to talk to him!" her eyes sparkled with a faint gleam of hope.

"Prisoners on a death sentence are not allowed any visits." Thorin rejoined gaining more and more control with each passing moment.

Karunn's bottom lip trembled and her eyes pooled with fresh tears of dismay. "You will kill me."

Thorin's lips remained a flat line of indifference and his eyes betrayed nothing.

"I want to avoid the trial!" -she said after a long moment- "Shave me, brand me and release me in exile. Don't kill me please. Don't make my family go through the torment of hearing all my crimes from the mouths of the witnesses in a trial."

"When did I ever give you a choice?" His eyes thinned in hostility.

"I know you have a heart of gold. All your people know that. You must have mercy on me. Whatever I did was for you, even though it might seem mean and evil. You have such grace. Offer some to me since you could never offer me your love." her voice broke and her eyes gazed at him hopefully.

Thorin's head tilted to the side. "Oh, so now I owe you."

She crawled on hands and knees and grabbed his boots. "You don't owe me anything, but I will owe you my life if you spare it! I will do everything to please you. I would do anything..."

"You will do everything to remain alive even though you have killed and maimed. Would you bow on your hands and knees and serve the Queen I wonder...the stable girl that used to clean your horses..." he let that image sink into Karunn's mind.

She gritted her teeth, but was unable to answer.

"Would you sleep in the stables cleaning her horses?" Thorin gazed down at her coldly.

Karunn remained fixed for several silent moments before pulling away with a hiss. "Never! Never for her! Do you hear me?!" -she raised her mad eyes to him and spat- "I'd rather die!"

Thorin engaged her furious gaze for several moments before looking at Balin. "Shave her and brand her." He commanded unemotionally.

Balin bowed to him as Karunn's wail of terror penetrated through the walls of her isolation and echoed into the huge dark caverns of the deepest dungeon's in Erebor.

Thorin closed the door behind him and soon enough Balin joined him. They sauntered in silent companionship until they reached ground floor. Only then did Balin feet safe enough to address the closed up countenance of his King. "What happened was truly intense. I feared you today laddie. Haven't seen you like this in ages."

Thorin hesitated for a moment. "Thank you for today."

"I am just relieved that you didn't kill her. That would have worked against you."

"I know," Thorin frowned.

Balin grasped Thorin's shoulder and stalled him. "I believe that if Eilin hadn't been there you would have killed Karunn. She was the one who truly calmed you down enough to listen to the rest of us."

Thorin's relatively calm countenance scowled at that memory. "If she hadn't been there I wouldn't have even come close to killing Karunn in the first place. Now that you reminded me of her... I still have unfinished business." He said and walked purposefully towards his office, not giving Balin another look. He walked quickly through the corridors until he reached his quarters and the guards instantly opened the doors for him. She was waiting for him there, sitting behind his desk. She looked up the moment he stormed into the office and crashed the door behind him.

"Wait!" she raised her hand.

He stopped in a whirlwind of fresh fury.

She stood up and rounded the desk. She walked slowly to him and his eyes got drawn to the bump on her stomach. His heart stopped for a moment before speeding up. He gazed up at her eyes feeling enraged at how easily she had endangered herself and their child today, without him being present to help her. She raised a finger and hooked it around his heavy belt. "You are angry at me..." she noted with a soft voice.

"Mad..." he grumbled feeling his hands trembling.

Her other hand came up and her palm pressed softly at his side. He inhaled sharply as it coasted around his ribs and found the roughness of the terrifying scar tissue on his stomach. There her fingers lingered and created small circles above his tunic, trying to feel the planes and meadows of his skin. "Remember how I used to take care of this wound for you?" she whispered.

"Don't play all innocent...you disobeyed me!" he snapped.

One hand opened up until her palm could press firmly on his scar and the other left his belt and sailed to the middle of his chest. She felt her throat drying out. "I miss those days so much..." she murmured.

He remained silent.

"I miss trying to apply Oin's treatment gently on your wound in order not to hurt you, while my fingers were frozen from anxiety..." she whispered and leaned down to gift the soft spot between his two clavicles a wet kiss that caused her core to warm up.

"This isn't helping. I am still mad at you..." he said, but his voice didn't sound as authoritative.

She nodded and her lips skimmed across his skin until they could place another hot kiss on the round muscle of his chest. "I am sorry for today..." she murmured and his stomach clenched.

"Don't try to snog your way out of this..." he warned, but his resolution was quickly backtracking with each soft touch of her fingers.

"What's wrong in wanting to be intimate with my husband?" she snuggled under his chin and her hands slithered around his waist and held him close.

His hand cupped the back of her head and his fingers entwined through her thick mane when her mouth opened up to gift him with another hotly lingering kiss at the base of his neck. "You endangered yourself and our child. That was unforgivable Eilin. What were you trying to do?" His lips may have parted in pleasure, but his brows were still twisted in anger.

Her impossibly soft lips gave him gentle nips that raised the hair on his arms and her small hands clutched his wide belt tight in order to keep him there. "I told you I needed that closure. You wouldn't have allowed me to have it Thorin. I kept asking you and you kept refusing." She spoke gently and between each sentence she provided him with another soft touch of her lips that was embellished by a quick taste from her tongue.

He exhaled in satisfaction when her mouth opened up hungrily to allow that playful tongue to deposit dozens of wet trails of heat up to his beard. "I am still angry at you, just so you'd know..." he whispered.

She smiled on his skin and her hands pulled him again from the belt until their bodies were flushed against each other. "I know, but..." -she murmured- "that doesn't mean I will stop kissing you."

"Don't ever endanger yourself and our child in this manner again. I am here to do that for both of you." He rejoined tenderly and his fingers twisted through her long locks. He pulled her head up until their lips engaged for a brief fiery moment. When he pulled back his eyes bore lovingly at her beautiful face.

She gave him a dazzling smile that sucked all the air out of his lungs. "My knight in shining armour..."

He frowned and his fingers took a fistful of her hair and clutched it tightly, offering her mild pain. "Don't jest!" His eyes gave her an angry warning.

She shook her head. "I am not jesting. I know you are there to protect us my love, but I needed to do what I did today. Please understand me. Karunn has been on my case ever since I arrived in the Ironhills. I needed to finish this with her."

He swallowed heavily. "You almost got killed in order to get your damned closure!" He felt his stomach dropping at the memory of Karunn's hand around Eilin's neck. Then in sudden realisation he released her hair and his hand came down to check on her neck. His fingers followed the red finger marks on it tenderly. His eyes teared up when his thumb rested on her abused skin.

"At least now I have it. Karunn would have never talked to me freely if Dis or you were in there with me. Please understand me." she closed her eyes, thoroughly enjoying his careful attentions on her bruised neck.

"I don't want anyone's hands on you..." he hissed and his upper lip revealed his teeth menacingly.

She bit her lower lip. "How about yours?" she teased.

He scowled at her. "Eilin enough..."

She giggled softly and her fingers slithered through the silver hair at his temples. "At your orders my King."

"Don't take on that attitude when we both know you are easy on disobeying me anyway." He raised his brow still feeling rather cross, but also thoroughly loved.

"Well, since I am your wife to be I might need to disobey you on some occasions from now on, don't you think?" She bit her lower lip playfully.

His brow clouded. "Not on occasions when your life is in danger. Be serious!" he chastised.

Her bottom lip pouted and she pulled him down until their noses were touching. "Please...please...please..calm down for me." Her whisper sent a whiff of her scent to him and he closed his eyes as parts of the tension on his back seemed to melt into the ground with each puff.

He allowed a deep exhalation to get of his chest.

She felt it and cooed him. "There you go...better?"

He settled his head on her shoulder and his lips captured her earlobe gently. He felt under his wide palms a strong shudder thundering through her spine. "How in the name of Mahal did you manage to get inside that cell?" he whispered.

She closed her eyes and her face twisted in delight. "I commanded the guards."

He frowned and pulled back in order to look at her. "What?"

She flicked her shoulders and cupped his cheeks lovingly. "I commanded the guards." She repeated calmly.

"They only listen to my commands," Thorin rejoined bewildered.

"I commanded them as the Queen of Erebor," she said timidly and her cheeks flushed crimson red.

His lips scrounged, but the question -what- got lodged into his throat this time. He remained looking at her lost, like a frozen statue with an expression that lingered between confusion and admiration.

She giggled and cupped her mouth. "By the expression on your face, I suppose I did well?"

His brows reached the top of his forehead and he shook his head slightly. "You did find the best way to command them, but your audacity almost cost us both dearly."

Her face fell at that and her hand caressed her bump protectively. "I know."

He felt his heart dropping and his hand sailed south and rested above hers. "We never risk your life and the life of our child. Never! The only life that will be at risk is mine, do you understand?" His rich voice echoed through her body.

She felt her eyes burning. "No Thorin. Don't speak like that, please..."

He spoke over her. "My life...not yours or our Little Gem's...do you understand?" he repeated rigorously.

She felt as if a hand squeezed her stomach tight and she embraced him fiercely. "I love you so much..."

His arms clutched onto her almost in desperation and his fingers tunnelled through her mane and brought her head protectively under his chin. "Khaz torak rar azamar*. If anything happens to you and our child, I will die."

Her arms secured around him. "Don't use such words, please."

"You can use them and I cannot? Don't be unfair Eilin. I can protect you from everyone in Middle Earth, but I cannot protect you from yourself when you decide to act irresponsibly."

"Don't chastise me please..." she whispered and pressed her cheek onto his chest.

"You acted unwisely towards yourself and our child. I cannot protect you when you are like that. Today I came down because Dis informed Balin before following you to the dungeons. She acted as carelessly as you and she will get a piece of my mind soon..." he continued his scolding, but his arms never released her from their fierce embrace.

"No, please don't! I begged her to allow me to enter. She didn't want to do it. She remained outside in order to help me." Eilin's voice was saturated with sadness and regret.

"That's not an excuse. She allowed you in Eilin. Both you and Dis acted recklessly...how can I protect you if you act this way?" his jawline tensed even at the thought of losing her.

"I promise that I will not act like that again, alright?" she smiled and her small arms clutched him lovingly.

He swallowed feeling uncertain and worried. After several moment where his heart began settling down he reluctantly pulled back. His fingers tucked some long red locks behind her ear and his eyes bore down to her heavy. "I can understand your need for closure. Maybe if I had respected it instead of trying to keep you from harm's way things would have been easier. That doesn't excuse what you did though."

"I know you wish to protect me against the whole world, but is that even possible?" she whispered after a long thoughtful pause where they simply adored each other with their eyes.

His fingers reached up and caressed her cheekbone. "I will protect you from the whole world if needed." There was no hesitation tainting his deep voice.

Her eyes overflowed with tears and she pulled him down. When their mouths engaged, their kiss was full of desperate longing that quickly hypnotised them. His hands enveloped her whole face and his exhalations of pleasure engulfed her, until her very suppressed libido started singing to him in a manner that his body could respond to very well. His hands left her face and grasped her hips as he picked her up and emptied her onto his desk. She opened up her thighs and he pushed against her soft curves with a groan of bliss. His teeth clashed against hers a couple of times before biting her upper lip possessively.

Her nails dug into his shoulders. "I like your rough side remember?" she whispered and her eyes looked at him through a glaze of lust.

"I am still angry at you," he hissed and opened up his mouth to devour her neck ravenously.

"I know." Her soft whimper of rapture echoed into his stomach and his hunger for her became almost unappeasable as his mind was chanting with a weak voice.

_Stop...stop and breathe...the baby...stop..._

And that was the only thing that made him stop with a groan of defeat to Eilin's utter frustration. "Not again, why?" she whined.

"Remember what Loa said for heaven's sake...Give me a break." He rested his forehead on her shoulder and tried to catch his breath.

"I've got no blood anymore and I am way into my pregnancy. I will ask her again because I cannot take this. I swear to you Thorin, I simply cannot take it." She gritted her teeth and her fingers twisted painfully through his mane.

"Me neither," he agreed and squeezed his eyes tight as he tried to calm down the fire that had erupted in his loins, in his heart and in his mind.

It took him a long long time to settle down. That night he was barely able to sleep next to her for two reasons. First because of the fear that he came so close to losing her again today and second because the wolfish need to appease his insatiable desire for her was tormenting his mind. It was like an itch he couldn't scratch that was driving him insane until the very early hours of dawn. Only then he managed to close his eyes and finally rest and even then his dreams were saturated with Eilin's essence.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *our souls are forever joined.


	58. One who wants to belong

 

_Eilin felt the swing going up. Her stomach dropped and a big smile covered her lips. The swing fell back and her beautiful red locks floated in front of her face making her giggle. She lifted her small legs up and almost reached the white clouds that were spread like snowdrops on the blue sky. It's colour reminded her of eyes she loved so much, but she didn't remember who they belonged to. Just that this colour was making her youthful heart beat harder. Was it the colour of her dad's eyes or maybe her mom's? She looked at the small farm house that was always present in her dreams. The house she had identified as her home, the one that belonged to her mom and dad who were not separated, but living together. They were there with her all the time in her dreams. Her mom inside their pretty little cosy home making some honey cakes for afternoon tea and her dad was somewhere in the forest hunting for dinner. She somehow knew that she had taken her mother's sweet and timid personality and her father's red hair and green eyes, even though she had never seen them. Even in dreams she couldn't see them, they were always two shadows standing at the door looking out at her. Her father shorter than her mom, but much wider. A strong fierce dwarf who was there to protect his family against all the enemies that were out to destroy it...and her mom...oh her mom was a tavern lady who fell in love with that dwarf. Was it just a dream that he overlooked her mom's low descent and married her? Was it just in her mind that he honoured their intimacy and remained to raise Eilin with this beautiful woman? A woman who always wanted to belong and that is why she named their daughter Eilin._

_One who wants to belong..._

_Eilin giggled and kicked the ground fiercely in order to send her swing flying up to the clouds, needing to touch them. She knew that soon enough her parents would come to the door to call her in. She counted her swinging, one, two, three, four, waiting to see the shadows appear at the empty doorway. She didn't have to wait long, for indeed by the count of eleven she saw one shadow appearing on the doorway instead of two. She placed her small naked feet down and broke the force of her swing, raising a lot of dirt and leafs. Her eyes remained stuck on the door expecting to see the second shadow, but only one remained. What made her gasp though was the fact that it didn't remain a shadow as usual, but it was replaced by the most imposing man her young eyes had ever seen. She stopped her swing and cleared her long hair away from her face as she gazed at his azure eyes that resembled the sky so much and caused her heart to swell. The handsome man at the door crossed his arms and graced her with the most blinding smile she had ever witnessed and her soul got uplifted straight to the clouds without the help of the swing._

_She run up to him. This couldn't be her daddy, he didn't have red hair, but instead they were black with silver tendrils. He didn't have green eyes, but he had seemingly borrowed the sky's gaze in order to steal her breath away. He was far taller than her father, possibly a trace taller than her mother, but a little on the short side for a man. This was a dwarf like her father, but in her eyes he looked like a giant. Who was he? When she reached him her heart was already thudding in her ears. She looked up to him and nibbled her bottom lip. "Where is my daddy mister?" she asked._

_Another bright smile was painted on his lips and he came down to one knee in front of her. "He left little one."_

_She frowned. "My mommy?"_

_"She left too..." the handsome man replied quietly._

_Her eyes teared up. "What am I going to do alone now?"_

_"You're not alone...I am here." He said and his huge palm landed on her small shoulder._

_She felt a timid tremble of hope in her soul. "You are not a shadow..."_

_He shook his head. "No more shadows for you."_

_"Hey, did you know my mom?" Eilin asked with a reserved smile._

_He shook his head._

_"My dad perhaps!?" her eyes opened up wide._

_The man hesitated and that gave her a glimmer of hope._

_"You know my dad!?" she exclaimed in barely controlled enthusiasm._

_The man's eyes looked at her kindly. "I don't know your father, yet."_

_Her face brightened up. "Yet?..." she was grasping at straws for anyone that could have known anything about her parents._

_The man inclined his head thoughtfully. "I can try to find out for you if you wish me."_

_"Can you?!" she clapped her hands._

_"I'll try," he smiled at her._

_She felt happiness erupting in her heart and suddenly she didn't want to leave this man. "Can I stay with you now?" she asked humbly, half expecting him to deny._

_He nodded. "Of course."_

_"But what is your name mister? I cannot stay with someone I don't know." She crossed her arms with a pout on her lips._

_He gave her another sweet smile. "My name is promise."_

_"Hey that's not a name..." she pointed a finger at him._

_"Isn't it?..." he raised his brows._

_Eilin scrounged her lips suspiciously. "Why did you come to my home?"_

_"I was always here little one..."_

_"Why didn't I ever see you then?" she frowned._

_"I was hiding behind the shadows..." he rejoined gently._

_She opened her mouth as if that was enough to explain everything. "Oh!"_

_He smiled gently and looked straight into her eyes._

_"So are we staying here?" she clasped her hands in front of her apron suddenly excited to follow this impressive man wherever he was ready to lead her._

_"You will join me and my children on a journey. Do you want to?" he cupped her cheek in a loving fatherly manner._

_"You have children!?" her eyes grew wide._

_"Yes..." he beamed._

_"How many!?" she clapped her hands._

_"Two for now. A son and a daughter..." he rejoined calmly._

_"Can I be their sister then!?" she cried and began jumping around happily._

_He stood up then and almost hid the sun behind his tall frame. "You are the most important part of our family, my heart, but not their sister..."_

_Her heart palpitated when she saw two equally beautiful children coming out from behind this man. They took hold of his hands. They were both dark haired, but whilst the boy had azure eyes, the little girl had a beautiful warm green colour. When they looked at Eilin they smiled brightly. The little boy was strong and rather tall with a clever face that looked far too wise for his years. The little girl was much smaller and almost too thin, but her face was so pretty it looked almost unreal and her long black hair reached just below her waist in thick curls._

_"Hi! Can I have some honey cakes please mom?" the little girl asked her._

_Eilin cupped her cheeks and looked behind her almost expecting to see their mom standing there. "I am not your mom. Ask your father." She said feeling confused._

_Then the boy spoke. "She's going to make us some Rhianaye, when they finish their discussion. How many times have I told you that you must learn not to interrupt!"_

_"Now you are interrupting you little know know it all!" the girl snapped at her brother._

_"Well I do know more than you and you are in my care when dad and mom are not here." The boy rebuked calmly._

_"I am old enough to care for myself!" Rhianaye's bottom lip pouted and her eyes filled with tears._

_"No you are not. Dad said I am to take care of you in his absence. So I am responsible for you." -The boy replied with a raised brow- "Now calm down. This is inappropriate."_

_Rhianaye released a wail and grabbed her father's waist. "Dad tell him to stooooop, he's acting like a wiseass again!"_

_The handsome man picked her up and she wrapped her small legs around his waist and buried her face on his chest. Her small hand grasped the lapel of his tunic almost desperately. "Careful with your language." -He warned- "Your brother is older and you must listen to him. You must learn how to be patient and polite when I am having a discussion."_

_The beautiful young boy puffed up proudly and searched his father's eyes for the look of approval, which he got almost instantly. He reached up and clasped his father's large hand. "Told you..." he teased his little sister._

_Rhianaye rubbed her face on her father's tunic and tried to avoid her brother's critical eye. She remained silent._

_The man pulled the boy by the hand as a warning. "Now enough son. She has understood her mistake. As you command her to learn courtesy, so you must command yourself to do the same. Especially upon your little sister. You are setting an example for her."_

_The boy averted his eyes. "I am sorry father."_

_Eilin was nibbling her bottom lip and watching from one to the other truly bewitched. She wanted so much to belong to this family, but could that man handle three children? He had two already that seemed to be rather feisty. She approached the little girl and caressed her exposed shin until she looked down from her father's chest._

_"Rhianaye. That's a beautiful name." She tried to make the little girl smile with that compliment._

_The little girl sniffled and wiped her nose clean with her small hand. "Thank you."_

_"So what does it mean?" Eilin smiled brightly._

_"Rebirth," it was the young boy who answered and Eilin turned to look at him. Her eyes were captured by his and she witnessed great sagacity behind their amazing colour. This man truly had his hands full with this young boy._

_"Rebirth..." Eilin muttered._

_The young boy squeezed his father's hand and looked searchingly once more for his silent approval. The man gave a gentle tilt of his head and smiled at the boy. "Rebirth for all...for them, for me, but also for their mother..." he said and after giving a soft kiss on Rhianaye's forehead, he smiled down at Eilin._

_Eilin looked behind expecting to see their mom standing there again, but she saw no one. She looked around to the beautiful family and opened her mouth to ask them why the mother was not there with them..._

... but suddenly a deep groan of surprise made her eyes fly open. She found herself buried in the arms of the gorgeous man she had seen in her dream, but that was as far as she remembered from the rest of it. Thorin's handsome face, his beloved eyes and a name.

 _"_ Rhianaye", she whispered.

He was looking shocked down at her stomach that was pressed against abdomen as they were embraced tightly in each other's arms during their sleep. On the sound of her voice he looked up. "What?" he asked confused.

"Rhianaye" -she repeated in a dream like state- "If we have a daughter I want her to be named Rhianaye."

He shook his head. "Alright men gehyith." Then his eyes fell down to her stomach again. "Did you feel that?"

"What?" she frowned and rubbed her face trying to wake up from that weird dream. How did she know that they would have a daughter anyway? Where did that name come from?

"It woke me up..." he said and looked apprehensively down at her bump that was pressing against the tight muscles of his stomach.

"What did?" she asked and stretched on him. She placed a soft kiss under his chin and snuggled against him. That is when she felt the soft bubbling sensation on the right side of her bump. Something that she had been feeling for several days now, but never mentioned it to him.

He felt it too for his eyes grew wide open and he pulled back away from her in shock. "This!" he cried and looked down.

She giggled and cupped his bearded cheek lovingly. "Oh Thorin..." she cooed.

He looked up at her confused with slightly parted lips. "What?"

"This is the baby..." she whispered.

His eyes grew even wider and he pulled further back.

"Don't look so shocked!" she chuckled and tried to bring him back into her arms, but he resisted.

"That's the Little Gem?" he spoke in a hushed voice.

She nodded and cuddled against the plush pillows as her fingers drew soft paths on his cheek and temple until they found the scar on his brow. One of the reminders that he had come back from the dead several months ago.

"How can it move like that?" he asked truly bewildered.

She bit her lower lip. "We are lucky it does move like that. That's normal. Your sister told me that I began feeling the baby exactly when I was supposed to." She reassured him.

"But I felt it too!" he frowned looking so much like a confused dwarfling and so far away from the stern King of the North, that Eilin's heart melted.

"Good, I suppose she wanted to say hello to her father..." she smiled sweetly at him and her forefinger traced his forehead scar until it found his nose and sailed down to his mouth.

He shook his head. "I don't believe this..."

When her finger traced his lip, she came up to peck him softly, delighting on how the roughness of his beard created such a sensual contrast to the softness of his mouth. "My love, you raised so many children, yet you have never felt your own flesh and blood moving inside your woman..." she whispered upon his half open mouth.

An exhalation of pain left him and he captured her lips firmly, "No...Mahal help me...I never thought I'd be blessed to feel something like this..."

She reached up and took his hand that was curled around her waist and brought it down to her bump. "Touch me..." she cooed him.

His large palm covered her belly and his tongue rolled into her mouth with an unhindered passion that instantly exploded a river of heat between her legs. She responded with the same passion until he left her mouth and allowed his face to get buried into the croon of her neck. He continued his sensual exploration of her skin with his fingers twisting around the only jewel she wore on her naked body, the diamond dove he had given her, until he felt the same bubbling sensation coming from her bump again. It brushed against the roughness of his palm. He inhaled sharply and drew back. She threw her head back and laughed heartily. "I won't ever get used to the idea of you looking so surprised!"

He swallowed heavily and pulled away from her respectfully, throwing the quilt around his midsection. "I won't ever get used to the idea that my erection was pressing our child above your stomach all this time."

She bit her lower lip and tunnelled her fingers through his thick mane. "I don't think our child would find this offensive. It was created by our intimacy, my love." She tried to reassure him.

He shook his head and kept his distance. "That doesn't mean I have to poke his head with my need right now!" He looked abhorred at the idea.

She raised a finger at him. "You said he!"

He reciprocated by raising his brow. "And you said she..."

She huffed. "Might be a girl!"

He pursed his lips. "Might be a boy!"

She exhaled in frustration. "Fine, might be either! Now can you come closer? I don't want to lose the warmth of your body."

"No, no way..." he looked truly uncomfortable.

Her lips twisted and her hands massaged his shoulders gently. "I am not asking you to make love to me..."

He looked up truly upset. "I'd never disrespect your pregnant body with my filthy ways..."

She groaned in frustration and rolled her eyes. "Your filthy ways turned my body pregnant!"

"Yes, but..."

She spoke over him. "Calm down we won't do anything to bother our Little Gem until Loa allows us, alright? Just so you'd know though when I enter the month I am suppose to give birth your sister told me that you can love me freely. It will help me deliver..."

He frowned. "It will?"

She nodded and cupped his cheeks adoringly. "Yes!"

He exhaled in relief. "I'll try..."

She raised her brows. "You will try to make love to me? Why do I find that disturbing?"

He cringed. "I cannot get used to the idea of bothering our child in this manner...it's making me upset."

She smiled sweetly at him. "Such a protective dad..."

He closed his eyes and huffed.

"Nevertheless your love will help our child come out..." she caressed his temple and pushed back several silver locks.

He nodded. "Alright..."

She pulled him down and her lips skimmed between his bearded chin and his bottom lip. "Besides, I'll have so much sexual tension gathered until then that I will suck you dry..."

His eyes flew open at that and his hand grabbed a handful of her firm hip and squeezed appreciatively. "I like the sound of that."

She swallowed heavily and took in his handsome face for a few moments before speaking again. "For now you can do something else that I know will make you feel better."

"Take care what you ask me!" He warned with a stern face.

She pushed him down gently. "Lay down to my stomach."

"What?" he whispered, but allowed her to lead his head to her bump.

"Do you think our child will care if you lay your head near it?" she said with a soft reassuring voice.

He laid on her gently and shook his head. "It won't, will it?" his voice was totally uncertain.

"I don't know which side of you I love the most...the almighty King of the North who belongs amongst the legends of Middle Earth, or this uncertain dwarfling that is laying upon my stomach?" she expressed her deepest thoughts.

His arms came around her buttocks and he placed a tender kiss on her hip bone. Then he relaxed upon her bump gently. "Why not both?"

She nodded and caressed his head with one hand and the stiff muscles of his back with the other. "I love you Thorin..."

He closed his eyes, then his sonorous voice reverberated into the walls of their rooms as he began singing to their child and suddenly tears she didn't know she had been holding began running down her cheeks. Tears of love, of promise, of hope, of release...

_-My name is promise-_

That stray sentence came to her mind and her fingers twisted through his hair as the richness of his melodic voice filled up the empty caverns of her soul in such totality that she felt them ready to erupt with bliss.

_"Roads go ever ever on,_

_Over rock and under tree,_

_By caves where never sun has shone,_

_By streams that never find the sea;_

_Over snow by winter sown,_

_And through the merry flowers of June,_

_Over grass and over stone,_

_And under mountains in the moon."_

She tried hard not to alert Thorin of her emotional outburst as he continued to sing to their baby. Her eyes turned to the maroon curtains that were partly drawn. She looked at the bright rays of the sun that broke though the clouds and she shuddered. He felt it and pressed his hand on her waist keeping her to him as he continued his song.

_"Roads go ever ever on_

_Under cloud and under star,_

_Yet feet that wandering have gone_

_Turn at last to home afar._

_Eyes that fire and sword have seen_

_And horror in the halls of stone_

_Look at last on meadows green_

_And trees and hills they long have known."*_

She leaned above him until her body had enfolded his and she kissed between his shoulder blades exactly under the crown of Durin. "That was beautiful. Our child will be musically inclined even before birth if you continue to sing to it with your mellisonant voice."

"Hmmmm..." his humming rumbled through her stomach and ended up in her lower spine as a ball of heat that oozed through to her core slowly. She smiled at the usual reaction of her body towards him.

It took her several moments to speak again. "So...have you my love?"

His fingers drew paths of tenderness on her waist and his lips were kissing her bump with such gentle protectiveness that her heart melted. "Have I what?" he rejoined quietly.

"Your eyes have seen fire and sword and horror..." she trailed off.

He kissed her stomach and closed his eyes. "They have."

"Have they finally looked upon meadows green and trees and hills they long have known?" she kissed his burning skin again and enclosed him to her possessively.

He nodded softly. "This is the first time in centuries that I am at peace with the world around me Eilin and it is all because of you..."

She bit her lower lip and buried her face on the thick black waves that covered his nape.

"Because of you and of our Little Gem..." he whispered and felt his tears soaking her skin.

She exhaled and allowed him to cry on her as she was crying on him, for these were tears of healing not of pain anymore and they both needed to empty them urgently. They remained long like that, twisted and bend around each other. Caressing, weeping silently, kissing and fondling gently until their feelings had finally settled down. That is when her stomach bubbled up again under Thorin's cheek. He tensed momentarily, but Eilin didn't even open her eyes. She was in heaven already.

"I will never get used to this..." he whispered.

"You deserve to get used to it and to relive this as many times as possible..." she said and her fingers traced down the side of his temple and lingered in a gentle caress on his bearded jawline.

"My heart..." he exhaled and closed his eyes wanting to allow himself to sleep right there in her arms, feeling the small movements of their child onto his cheek.

Eilin's eyes remained closed and behind them another flashing memory of her dream returned only this time it wasn't an image, but a voice. _"I don't know your father, yet."_

"Thorin, do you know who my father is?" she said in an afterthought, quietly.

He tensed upon her belly for a brief second and then settled down again. She half expected him to answer the same thing as in her dream, but he didn't. "Not your father, but I might know I few things about his family from the runes that were carved behind your baby belt."

She shuddered at the idea of him ever taking that belt into his hands again. "My baby belt...did you burn it?"

"No, but I will gladly do it if you wish me," he reassured her.

"Do it..." she frowned.

He nodded. "As you wish my heart."

"What do you know about my father's family then? I remembered you mentioned it briefly at Bagshot Row." She said quietly and her fingers found his warrior braid and began twisting it around thoughtfully.

"Assuming it was the family your father belonged to and he was not simply an admirer of Telchar, to which the runes belong to. He was one of the greatest smiths of all times along with Fëanor and Celebrimbor. None other comes close to the skill of these three. He forged many famous items, amongst them the knife Angrist which was given to the Elves, the sword Narsil which is in the keep of the Elves also, and the Dragon-helm of Dor-lómin that was forged for the Lord Azaghâl of the Broadbeams." He rejoined.

She sighed deeply. "So no clue who my father was...only that he probably admired Telchar."

Thorin pressed his lips gently on her bump. "Admired or belonged to his family. It's hard to tell, since Telchar's line has been lost through the centuries. No one knows any details of his family tree."

She squeezed her eyes tight. "So I can only assume that there is famous swordsmith blood in me...and that without any certainty..."

He cringed regretfully. "I can try to find out for you if you wish me."

She shuddered as those words, "I am not sure I do Thorin. He and my mother both abandoned me. I can maybe understand my father giving up on me, but the bond a mother has with her baby is sacred long before the baby is born. I can feel it in my womb right now. Nothing in the world would have made me abandon this child in a door somewhere to be raised by strangers, even when we were apart Thorin. I would have sacrificed everything to raise this child the best way I could." She felt hot tears trapped at the edge of her eyes.

Thorin sighed. "You must not judge superficially the decisions of your parents. You haven't walked in their shoes, nor have you lived their lives. Don't be so harsh." He responded with calm wisdom.

"I am hurt by their rejection. I know I would have never done the same to my child." she muttered.

"You are a different person than them. You have your own code of conduct. The wound of their rejection will hurt you forever, for it is not something my love can heal for you I am afraid. I haven't walked in your shoes Eilin and I mustn't judge you harshly either. Rejection can cause deep wounds to a child's heart that will turn to deep scars on the adult. I am here to help you any way I can, but maybe you could try to heal those wounds partly through you own devotion to our child." He said quietly and got up from her stomach. He laid down and enfolded her tenderly into his arms. She cuddled there with a sigh of relief and gave a lingering kiss on the side of his neck.

"That is what I want to do..." she murmured.

"I am still willing to search Telchar's line for you, I am just not sure I will manage to find anything." He rejoined and his fingers caressed her head gently.

She shook it. "No Thorin, it's useless. Why would I try to find people who didn't want anything to do with me?"

His arms pressed hard around her and he began rocking her gently in a need to soothe her.

Slowly his careful manners made her close her eyes and calmed down her teary heart. She exhaled hotly onto his chest and she pressed her sweaty skin on his, no minding how warm they both were at that moment. "Besides I belong to the family of another legendary swordsmith now, don't I?"

A doting smile came to his lips and he placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Yes, you do."

"I don't want to belong to any other family than ours. I want you to burn that belt and let me forget my need to find out who the people who abandoned me were. They didn't care if I grew up or died, did they?" She rubbed her face onto his chest wiping away her tears on his naked skin.

He pressed his lips and arms around her, but didn't reply.

"Did they care Thorin?" she frowned angrily.

He swallowed heavily.

"Don't fear to answer me." she insisted.

He shook his head. "They didn't care, no."

"Then why should I care who they were?" she shook her head and opened up her mouth to kiss the soft skin on the base of his neck.

He pressed his lips feeling her pain deep into his heart. His nose burrowed through her mane and he inhaled deeply.

"But I do care Thorin, I won't lie..." she said after several silent moments that he didn't speak, deciding that it was useless trying to deny the truth to him. His silence meant that he understood far more than he was saying.

"I know, my dove." He hushed her.

"Yet I will learn not to care anymore. I have a family of my own. I need nothing else and mostly my past overburdening me!" She said decisively.

He smiled on her hair. "I agree."

"I will do for our child exactly the opposite of what my parents did for me!" her hands became fists at his back.

He cradled her close to his heart. "I know my precious."

She nodded, reassured both by her own words and by his tender caress as he held her onto him through a nightmare that hadn't abandoned her since birth. "I will make this fade into darkness, I promise."

"I will be here to help you," he kissed her temple and his finger caressed her gently under her earlobe.

She sighed deeply and snuggled against him. "I love you Thorin."

"Me too...more than life." He felt his eyes tearing up as they remained embraced long after they stopped talking. Each one trying to settle down their thoughts. Eilin the phantoms of her parents that she wanted so desperately to send away back into the shadows of her dreams, or why not expel from her dreams completely, and Thorin the way his heart erupted in countless colours whenever he felt his child move under his palm. A feeling he had never believed himself worthy of experiencing. So they clutched each other, wanting to lock the world outside their small paradise, but Erebor had apparently other ideas.

When the door knocked neither him nor her made a move to dislodge. They remained patiently unmoving hoping that whoever knocked would go away, but soon enough the knocking resumed. "My King!" it was one of the guards outside.

"Don't answer..." she whispered and her fingers clawed his nape.

"I won't..." he smirked and kissed her sweaty skin.

She exhaled in relief and closed her eyes, but the knocking insisted. The voice that followed next made Thorin's teeth grit. "Cousin I need to have a word with you!" It was Dain.

He swallowed heavily and pushed slowly away from her with one last regretful kiss on her neck. She grabbed his forearm, not allowing him to stand up. She pulled him down until their lips brushed and her mouth opened up to allow her tongue to lick the suppleness of his lower lip. "Don't go..."

"I have to talk to him. It might be about his older niece..." he reciprocated her careful kiss.

She looked at his eyes lovingly. "So what am I supposed to do until you return?"

His lips formed a lopsided smile. "Why don't you train on acting like a Queen?" He found that opportunity to stand up and find his trousers, which he wore quickly.

She pushed up to her elbow and raised her brow. "Act like a Queen...What do Queens do apart from order everyone around?"

He wore his tunic and smiled back at her. "Do I sit around ordering people all that time? Is that all I do?"

She pursed her lips playfully. "Yes!"

"That's true" he snorted.

"Hey! You were supposed to be insulted now!" She pointed at him.

"Why would I get insulted when you are speaking of the truth..." he buckled his heavy belt with a teasing smile.

"That was not the truth! You don't just sit around ordering people. Actually you rarely rest and you are torn all over Erebor, which bothers me to no limit." She frowned.

"You will do the same then. Go to your people and tend to their needs. Ask Dis and she will tell you what you can do to make them feel that they also now have a Queen that is there for them, not only a King." he rejoined and wore his boots.

She smiled hesitantly. "I don't think it will be that easy for me to do that."

He raised his brow. "I think it's easier than you might expect. Everyone already sees you as their Queen..."

She inhaled patiently. "I will try...alright?"

He inclined his head. "Perfect my beauty."

She pinched her lower lip thoughtfully. "Can I use some of the wood carvers do you think?"

He walked back to the bed and leaned over until she grabbed the back of his head firmly. "Sure, but whatever for?"

"I want to order a new crib made..." she looked at his mouth longingly.

A bright smile appeared on his lips that reminded her vaguely of her forgotten dream and her heart skipped a beat. "Of course you can."

"Any requests for it?" she asked gently.

He leaned down and gave her a soft kiss as his thumb and forefinger pinched her cheek tenderly. "I leave everything to your capable hands, I have complete trust in you. Now am I allowed to look after matters of the state my Queen?" he whispered.

She shuddered and pulled him over for a last assertive kiss that made him heave before pushing him back. "Now you are..."

He humphed and raised his brow as he walked to the door. "Take time to enjoy your day. There is nothing that you must do, apart from rest and keep yourself and our child healthy."

She laid back down and covered herself up to her chin. Then she stretched provocatively and send him a flirtatious kiss. "Take care out there my brave warrior."

He shook his head and smiled as he opened the door. Dain was expecting him at the end of the corridor. He closed the door behind him and walked up to his cousin trying to push the feelings of wholesomeness that he had felt with his family away. The countenance of Dain was almost forbidding.

Thorin raised his brow as he approached his cousin knowing that this confrontation was not going to be easy.

Dain looked back at the guards and grabbed Thorin's arm pulling him further away. "Forgive me for bothering you in your private quarters."

"I was expecting you sooner or later," Thorin rejoined calmly.

"I just couldn't wait until my brother and sister in law arrived. They are going to take Erebor by storm and I wanted to discuss this mess with you beforehand." Dain said heavily.

"No one is going to storm Erebor cousin," Thorin raised his brow.

"I know you respect my brother, but you don't know him as a concerned father..." Dain interposed.

"You don't know me as a concerned father either," Thorin reciprocated coldly.

Dain sighed deeply. "Just give me a moment to understand what is going on I beg you."

Thorin inclined his head and gestured down the corridor where they could talk more privately.

"I came up from the dungeons. Karunn is in a terrible state. Her palms have deep cuts and she's barely speaking. She's hiding in the shadows."

"I am aware," Thorin crossed his arms behind his back.

"Who did that to her?" Dain frowned.

"I did," Thorin raised his brow stonily.

Dain cringed and placed his hand on Thorin's bicep. "Why?"

"She tried to kill Eilin..." Thorin felt his back crawling. "I found her with her hands around the throat of my beloved."

Dain paled and remained silent for a long time. When he finally spoke his voice was crawling with darkness. "I shouldn't have expected anything better from her. I know her only too well. She was an evil child. Always tormenting her poor sister and innocent animals. I shouldn't have expected anything better from her in adulthood. Nevertheless Thorin you owe me some answers, remember? Have you learned anything new about her connection with Nyrthrasir?"

Thorin inhaled deeply and crossed his arms. "I have yes, but allow me to refrain from relating it to you. It is something that will be revealed either in the trial or by her. It's not my place to discuss this with anyone."

Dain paled. "Tell me cousin, I need to protect my brother. I am afraid his heart will stop when he finds out what his daughter has done the line of Durin."

"Ask her, not me." Thorin said with simplicity.

"She's not answering me! She doesn't like me, because I was the only one who was trying to restrict her evil manners. I am afraid about my brother and my younger niece. Thorin please have mercy on all of them." Dain's deep voice pleaded.

"On all of them? Do you also mean Karunn?"

"Anything to spare my brother and Valdis from the pain..." Dain rejoined with sincerity.

"I know you are trying to do the best for your family Dain. Like you did when you refused to join my quest for the Lonely Mountain", Thorin rejoined calmly.

Dain paled.

"You remained impassive because you didn't want to endanger your people from Smaug's sleeping wrath. A fury you knew I'd awaken. I cannot blame you for that." Thorin smiled to him.

Dain closed his eyes.

"I am not accusing, I am understanding. Therefore you cannot blame me for wanting to protect my family and my people from a criminal. Erebor shall not rest as long as Karunn remains unpunished for her hideous crimes against the line of Durin and against our kin, for you cannot deny that such evil deeds can only surface through the most rotten souls. This woman lacks empathy, ethics and moral code. She's hateful, deceitful, murderous and unstoppable. She tried to strangulate my One down in the dungeons. Think about her audacity. She's lucky I didn't kill her on the spot Dain. I don't care about answering to Fain or the Ironhills at the end of the day about my actions against Karunn, nevertheless I will do the best I can to act through the law. When someone touches my One first they die and then I ask questions. I don't know what created this malevolence in your older niece, but the Necromancer did less of a better job in wiping out the line of Durin than she did." Thorin said firmly.

Dain crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall defeated.

"She almost destroyed my unborn child and Eilin. She almost destroyed me for her self-satisfaction, without stopping to think that she had already killed a baby and almost killed it's father. I will not have mercy on her cousin." Thorin frowned. "She almost killed my child!" he hissed.

Dain cupped his forehead.

Thorin raised his hand in authority. "You know how much I love and honour you and your brother. If it wasn't for your help Erebor would have never been reclaimed. I cannot place Karunn's nefarious plans in the same borders with your impeccable principles, just because you belong to the same family. That would be not only unfair of me, but evil on it's own rights. I refuse to put Fain's untouchable ethics and your younger niece exemplary demeanour in the same margins as your oldest niece criminal affairs. As far as I am concerned these are clearly separated. I shall not touch your younger niece in any manner whatsoever. My nephew is deeply fond of her and so am I. As for Fain you know I'd die for him, as I would for you."

Dain's eyes were swimming in tears. He approached quickly and drew Thorin in to his heavy arms. "As I would for you my bastard! As I would for you..."

Thorin patted his back firmly and pulled back. "Nevertheless my love for your family and my respect for the Ironhills will not stop me from punishing this fiend for her crimes cousin. Understand that."

Dain pulled back and wiped away his eyes. "I was not aware that your One's location was the Forsaken Inn. I was informed about it from the very beginning. Had I known I would have related everything to you, do you believe me?"

Thorin clasped Dain's shoulders. "I do."

"I tried to tell you back in Ered Mithrin, but you were not under the proper mental clarity to listen.." Dain continued.

Thorin closed his eyes. "I have never forgotten that forlorn day. Had I listened to you, many tragedies would have been avoided."

"I won't stand in your way for Karunn, but I cannot answer for my brother. As for my sister in law if she tries to intervene I will kill her along with my older niece!" Dain grumbled with suppressed fury.

Thorin pulled back and nodded. "I need nothing else than the assurance that the Ironhills will allow Erebor to deliver justice."

Dain punched his chest. "They will on my word of honour. You cannot imagine how hurt I am by the conduct of Karunn. That a member of my honourable family acted in this heinous manner towards you!"

Thorin shook his head with a frown. "As far as I am concerned you do not belong in the same family..."

Dain exhaled and lowered his head. "Thank you cousin for not dragging our name into the gutter."

Thorin's lips pressed tightly. "You do understand that this cannot end well for her, don't you?"

Dain gritted his teeth. "Then allow me to take care of her and restore my family's name in your eyes!" he spat.

Thorin shook his head. "No! We shall follow the Laws of the Elders!"

Dain's nose flared. "The Elder laws will take her through a trial won't they?"

Thorin's hesitation was obvious in the tone of his voice. "Admittedly that is the most usual course of action, but things are not as straightforward Dain..."

Dain's fists tightened. "If you take her through a trial I will kill her cousin, without your knowledge. I don't want my brother to learn her nauseating and infamous conduct. I don't want her sister's name to be branded because of her malevolent deeds. I want my family's name to be clear and this trial will slur it." Dain rejoined heavily.

Thorin's brows creased. "It will take place behind closed doors."

"Matters not! My brother shall listen to what she has done! My Valdis will learn everything! This trial will destroy my family!" Dain snapped.

Thorin's jawline flexed in silence. He knew Dain was right. No matter how much he would try to protect Dain's family, if this ended up in a trial their name would be irrevocably stained in the public eye. A closed trial was still a trial that Erebor would learn about finally.

Dain grabbed Thorin's arm and squeezed it painfully. "Keep my Valdis away from the dungeons. She kept asking to see her sister and I told her lies. Any lie I could to keep her safe. Please I beg you don't allow my little girl to visit that evil monster. Karunn will find a way to harm her, I know it."

Thorin's eyes clouded. "On my word of honour I will not allow her close to Karunn."

Dain closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "Protect my pumpkin..."

Thorin swallowed heavily. "I shall, I promise."

Dain remained silent for several moments and his hand kept it's iron grip on Thorin. When he finally spoke his voice was deliberate. "Nyrthrasir...how did she use him against you cousin? I know you don't wish to reveal to me the truth. I know you are trying to protect me, but I will not rest until I know. She had to have a tight grip on that man. Correct?" Dain raised his brow slowly.

"Admittedly she had a very tight one." Thorin rejoined.

Dain swallowed heavily and it took him several moments to reveal his innermost thoughts. "She went to bed with him, didn't she?"

Thorin raised his brow, but remained impassively quiet.

Dain's lips curled up to reveal his teeth. "She went to bed with the man, didn't she?!" he cried furiously.

Thorin didn't reply.

"She went to bed with him and used him to deceive you! She killed that man's child, didn't she?" Dain's voice elevated.

Thorin sighed, but remained taciturn.

"I will slaughter her now!" Dain stormed down the corridor to the King's Halls, but Thorin's iron grip stalled him.

"Stop! Right now!" he commanded.

Dain looked back at him panting. "She bedded a married man! She's a bloody murderous whore! She's not my niece! I won't allow my brother to learn these things, it's going to kill him! She's not going to go through a trial. She will die by my hand! I will avenge the name of my family!"

Thorin exhaled roughly through his nose.

"Send the ravens now! Delay my family from arriving to Erebor! Did you tell my brother that you arrested Karunn? Does he know why he's been called to Erebor?"

Thorin shook his head. "No, I wanted him to travel with safety."

"Then I beg you send him a message and tell him to remain back home! He cannot come here and learn about all this! I prefer him to find out that his daughter died in the wilderness, not that she died as the worst criminal of Erebor! Like a whore!" Dain spat barely controlling his wrath.

"You don't want me to act through the laws of our Elders, you wish me to act dishonourably!" Thorin rebuked acutely.

"I want you to spare the pain from my family! Try to see things from my perspective! What would you have done to protect your One, your nephew and your sister?" Dain's eyes burned through Thorin's steely exterior.

He couldn't answer.

"As a favour to me, as a favour to our friendship, to our camaraderie, please my King, send the ravens to stall my brother. Send him back home...allow me to offer him an honourable conclusion to the most contemptible crimes of his daughter," Dain grasped Thorin's hands fiercely.

Seeing such a battle hardened warrior breaking down touched Thorin's heart.

"Will you do it? Will you help me?" Dain's voice turned beseeching. "Help my little pumpkin...please...she's the gentlest soul. She doesn't deserve to have her name stained because of her evil sister."

Thorin sighed deeply. "You are cornering me very hard Dain..."

"Please notify my brother to stay in the Ironhills and get rid of Karunn in some manner! Do it whatever way you feel suitable!" Dain gritted his teeth.

Thorin shook his head. It was clear that this was not easy on him.

"Will you end this in my stead? Do it!" Dain's brows rippled in wrath.

Thorin raised his brow contemplatively.

Dain removed his arm angrily. "Either you do it, or I will! I shall not allow her to go through a trial and traumatise my little pumpkin or kill my brother! As you do the best to protect your family, so will I! I will protect them against this fiend!" He warned.

Thorin's eyes thinned on his cousin, but he remained silent.

Dain's nose flared. "That's a warning! Either you end this or I will! Do you hear me?"

Thorin's brow rose slowly.

"No matter how much I appreciate that you want to keep this trial private you know very well that things will get out. If Karunn is condemned she's going to be executed, or she will be send in exile as a branded woman. No matter the result, the name of my family will be stained. I cannot have that Thorin. Forgive me..." Dain said solemnly.

Thorin's gaze remained fixed on his cousin.

"It's either me or you...", Dain spat and without anymore words he left. Thorin's eyes followed his cousin until his long red hair got lost behind the heavy curtains of the tall archway. When he was finally alone he crossed his arms and looked thoughtfully at his heavy boots. Many thoughts were twisting inside his mind, but one was prevailing to all the others. The final words of his formidable cousin.

_Either you kill her or I will..._

He walked thoughtfully out to the great entrance and made his way slowly up to the throne room. That is where he saw Balin dusting off the throne. He pursed his lips and crossed his arms. "Always lingering above this throne, aren't you my friend?"

Balin inhaled sharply and turned to see his King. "I will continue to do so, until you sit on it. I am keeping it in perfect condition for you." He smiled.

Thorin's lips curled up in a brooding smile. "Tell the Ravens to stall Fain. Send him back to the Ironhills." He said after a long pause where Balin resumed the cleaning of the throne.

At that Balin turned around with a deep frown. "What the hell? Where did that come from?! What about Karunn's trial?"

Thorin's lips twisted thoughtfully. "It's indefinitely postponed." He replied sturdily.

"What are you going to do about her then?" Balin frowned.

"Whatever is buried behind the stonewalls of Erebor remains there," Thorin said cryptically.

"What does that mean?" Balin rejoined.

"You'll know soon enough. Take care of the ravens and make sure the Ironhills are kept away from this. Send Valdis back home." Thorin rebuked and walked towards Thror's study.

Balin dropped the cloth he was using to wipe the Arkenstone clean and followed him. "Fili is going to be angry if I do such a thing."

Thorin paused with his hand on the door handle. "Will he?" A small smile appeared on his lips.

Balin huffed. "I think he's rather smitten with the girl. If it isn't necessary don't send her away. We can keep her shielded as long as I know what you plan to do." The subtle suggestion was not lost in Thorin.

"When I decide Karunn's fate you shall know. For now call me Fili and Dwalin," Thorin said and closed the door behind him, leaving a rather bewildered Balin staring down the corridor.

He remained under locks for a long time, long after his nephew and bodyguard arrived. He called Balin in and explained everything that had been spoken between him and Dain and that left them all numb and disconcert, but Thorin was composed and calm. As if all this hadn't touched him in the least. It was as if the wheels in his mind had already turned towards a specific direction long before his conversation with Dain, but his cousin's wrath had given him the blessings he needed to continue. So none of the concerns of his company that were being expressed at that moment truly bothered him, except from one. It was spoken by Fili and it was the only thing that made him remove his brooding gaze from the fire and throw it on his nephew.

"Valdis already knows uncle." Fili crossed his arms. "It's so noble of Dain to want to protect her, but she has seen the guards escorting Karunn away. It was not a public arrest, it happened very discreetly, I am aware. They could have very well been escorting her to you, but still Valdis suspects that she's in the dungeons. She hasn't seen her sister for a few days. She heard Dain's conversation with Karunn about that trek and she's not dumb. She's put everything together and knows that her sister has done something seriously wrong. She's short on the details, but we cannot hide from her what is bloody obvious. She's out to protect her mother and father likewise, just so you'd know, but she also wants to speak to her sister. She wanted to plead with you for an audience. I averted her. I told her that any plead for Karunn on you would fall into a dead end."

A dark shadow passed from Thorin's brow. "You did well. Valdis is not to be allowed close to Karunn." His voice was strict and everybody became instantly guarded.

"I knew you'd say that. I explained to Valdis that you wouldn't allow her to the dungeons, so she decided to plead her case to the next best person," Fili raised his brow.

Thorin frowned.

"The Queen..." Fili pursed his lips and crossed his arms.

Balin harked and rubbed his forehead. "That was unexpected."

Dwalin whistled and gazed at Thorin with a sly smile.

Thorin caressed his bearded chin. "Well..." he smirked.

Fili placed his hands on his wide belt and inhaled deeply. "If Eilin decides to plead Valdis' case to you, then you will come head to head with your One about all this."

Thorin's brow lifted up and his lips twisted appreciatively. "It won't be the first time. Let's see how the Queen is going to deal with this first serious request from one of her subjects."

Dwalin chuckled. "And how she will try to handle the King of the North."

Thorin covered his smiling mouth and inclined his head. "Indeed."

He found it rather interesting that Eilin's first obligation as the Queen of Erebor was to decide if she wanted to come head to head with him, especially in a case that had everything to do with her. He was truly interested to see how she would act on this rather serious first trial on her own rulership, even though his mind was mostly preoccupied with the new developments between him, Dain and Fain.

With that in mind he decided to keep silent on Eilin about everything until she decided to address him herself.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * The Road Goes Ever On- Poem by J. R. R. Tolkien
> 
> -The name of the little girl belongs to the angel of this story StephCalvino and has a special meaning for her. Thank you my friend for pouring your soul into this story *.*


	59. The Queen

Eilin came out of the bathroom and tried to close her leather pants, but it was impossible to do so without squeezing her baby bump painfully. She exhaled in defeat and lowered her long tunic in order to cover them up. Then she put on her boots and looked at the balcony were Thorin was standing. He'd been out there ever since the break of dawn overlooking the melting snow of the valley and his troops that were out training. Next to his elbow on the banister was Kili's flower pot that now had three vivid green stems coming out of the side of the dried up flowers that Dis had planted. Eilin yawned and opened up the window. Thorin looked above his shoulder at her.

"Hi my beauty," he smiled.

She approached and threw her arm above his shoulder. "It's blooming."

His hand came up to clasp her wrist. "Against all odds."

"A little bit like us?" she smiled wistfully.

He nodded thoughtfully. "I'd say a lot like us."

"You sister told me this means Prince Kili's soul is at rest. Do you believe that too?" She caressed his upper chest softly.

His eyes remained on the stem for several moments. "I want to believe it."

She leaned her forehead on his arm and smiled. "I believe it too."

He squeezed her hand lovingly and after a few contemplative moments he spoke quietly. "You ready?"

She shook her head. "Nope, I am not."

He frowned.

She turned him around and pulled up her tunic up to show her ever growing bump and the open pants that couldn't fit her anymore. "Look at me."

A charming smile spread on his lips and he pulled her into his embrace. "You look absolutely enchanting."

"I am getting fat..." she grumbled.

"You are getting rather juicy. I love that." he spoke in a hushed tone and his large palm caressed her round stomach tenderly. Her head rested under his jawline and the ball of her finger created circular patterns on his skin.

"My pants are getting a bit tight on my hips also. I am not pregnant on the thighs Thorin." She whispered with a frown.

His hand sailed carefully at the side of her hip and lingered for a breathless moment were their eyes were captivated by each other, before opening up to take a hungry handful of her buttocks in a rude manner that instantly send a breeze of warmth to the pit of her stomach. Then he pressed it with a groan of delight that didn't leave her unaffected either. "Your body needs to nourish the child in you and it is getting fuller. It is only a matter of taste I know, but you see I do like you becoming a little bit curvier..." he muttered upon her lips and she shuddered with pleasure.

"You do?" her eyes sparkled.

While one hand was a little bit too enthusiastic with mauling her curvaceous rear, his other left the base of her throat and came down to palm her breast. Her stomach did a flip flop of delight. "Oh, Thorin..." she said surprised at this sudden sensual exploration.

"These are getting voluptuous also and they make my throat go dry every time I look at your cleavage. Especially when we are in public and I cannot act on my urges I become rather frustrated with you." His voice sounded hoarse and when he gave her breast an appreciative squeeze she gasped.

She smiled and felt his lips lingering on hers with hot expectancy. "And we are supposed to abstain from intimacy until I come to term? I don't see that happening." She teased him.

A low rumble awoke from his wide chest as he looked down at her breasts. "I don't see that happening either to be quite honest..." He admitted.

She reached up and cupped his cheeks. "So you like me a bit fatter?"

"Whichever way you look, you are simply beautiful, but your pregnant body is truly the epitome of seduction. You are glowing from the inside out." He smiled down at her.

She closed her eyes briefly and bit her lower lip. "Thank you my heart."

"Whatever for?" he frowned.

"For trying to make me feel better about myself." She opened up her eyes and looked at him with devotion.

He smiled at her.

Her fingers twisted inside his wavy mane and she hesitated for a few moments before speaking. "But I'd rather you be honest instead."

He raised both brows and nibbled his lower lip. "Oh, well you caught me."

"What do you mean?" she frowned.

"You caught up to my lies."

"I did?" she muttered bewildered.

"I mean it was quite obvious I was lying to make you feel better about the mess you are in..." his hand caressed the side of her breast.

"Wh-at?" she stuttered.

"Gaining on weight and expecting to hold onto the love interest of a King..." he rejoined solemnly and shook his head.

"Thorin..." she scowled and tried to read his eyes.

"Actually this is an absolute disgrace...look at you..." he raised his brow at her slowly.

She looked at him in distraught..."A disgrace?" her voice sounded diminished.

A lopsided smile came onto his lips as he placed both hands under her hips and picked her up easily. He placed her on top of the banister and came between her legs, flushing her body against his with a desire that left her breathless. He kept tight hold of her hip with one hand and wrapped his strong arm behind her waist keeping her safe as he leaned down and skimmed his lips across the sensitive skin on the side of her neck. "A total disgrace on my part that I didn't get you to open up in front of me before, so I can feel this perfection..." his wide palm kneaded her plump rear and she exhaled onto his temple a whole bout of relief. She felt his heart drumming on a vein that was trapped under her bottom lip. "An absolute disgrace that I never convinced you before that these are truly bewitching me..." he hummed appreciatively as his hand left her hip and sailed up to her waist and side until it took firm hold of her full breast.

She whimpered his name softly. "Oh, Thorin."

"I want to taste you bad it hurts," he lowered his head and nipped the frisson that was rippling through her skin, between her clavicle and her throat.

She felt enraptured by his ability to arouse her with such ease and as his mouth slid up her neck and gave a soft love bite on her chin, a moan erupted from her chest. "I can feel you.." she murmured and rocked her hips against his, thrilling at the substantial bulge on the front of his trousers, that proclaimed his need to her so candidly.

"Good, then you know how much I desire you and you can stop with all this nonsense," he muttered.

"You desire me more than an endless vein of Mithril?" her hot breath caressed his lips.

"That's taking it a bit too far..." he raised his brow.

She slapped his shoulder and he clutched her assertive hand between his fingers restraining it. "Thorin!" she chastised.

"Yes?" his lips stroked hers gently.

"Me or the Mithril?" she closed her eyes already bewitched out of her senses, but also teased close to anger.

"You..." -she smiled in satisfaction, but he had more to say- "laying down on a bed full of Mithril..." another rich rumble echoed through her spine and she whimpered as he captured her lips in an all consuming kiss that spiralled her need out of control instantly and creamed her underwear. She followed his lead on that burning dominance of her mouth, feeling the fog of her own arousal jumbling up all her thoughts about prudence. Within a few moments she forgot all about her bump and began debating how much a fierce love session right here at the royal balcony would bother the baby. Her mind didn't even think that they were visible throughout the whole valley and mountain sides. If he decided to strip her from the waist down in order to claim her right then and there she wouldn't have denied. Most probably she would have assisted him to strip her down quicker.

So it was his prudence that stopped this suppressed array of physical craving from both of them. He pulled back from her mouth, but lingered close to her face. "You can bewitch my mind*, you can control every part of my body and you own my heart."

She came up to his neck and opened up her mouth hungrily. Her teeth bit him fiercely and she felt the shivers rushing down his spine.

His fingers tunnelled through her hair and pulled her back gently. "Yet, we must stop now."

"Noooo," she droned.

"The Little Gem needs our care," he smiled and pecked her lips softly. "We have time for intimacy later, remember?"

Her fingers twisted around the strings of his tunic and her lips pouted. "If you find me desirable enough when I become a watermelon on legs."

He snorted. "Nice imagery."

"Will you?" she mumbled and pulled him down.

"I don't like watermelon..." he nipped her bottom lip gently.

"Thorin, come on...stop teasing..." she used her small fist to swat his upper chest playfully.

"There is nothing that can stop me from wanting you. Even if you end up resembling a very juicy sweet summer fruit...wait..." he frowned.

She chuckled. "That sounds rather enticing actually."

He pointed at her. "See? I know!"

Her laughter then was released and it echoed into the quiet valley amidst the military commands of Thorin's troops down below. "I love you..."

"I love you too!" He leaned down and placed a firm kiss on her temple.

"And you'll love me even when I gain even more fat..." The more he reassured her the more she coveted to hear more.

"Hmmm...more and more and even more..." he squeezed her buttocks playfully.

She moaned and grabbed his lapels possessively. "You know Loa is going to be the one to take me through labour, right?"

"Her and my sister I presume." He frowned.

Eilin grinned. "When she felt my stomach last time, she told me that it is bigger than expected for the progress of my pregnancy." She said nonchalantly.

"What does that mean?" he asked confounded.

"That either the child in me is going to be huge..." -she looked at him keenly- "Much like his dad!"

He shook his head, but his smile was smug. "You are insufferable... When there is an -either- there is also an -or-"

She exhaled and smiled up at him. "Or that we are having twins!"

Thorin's jawline dropped open and Eilin enjoyed the effect that had on him immensely.

She cupped his bearded cheeks and pecked his lips once to wake him up. It didn't work. "You there?" she chuckled.

He shook his head slightly and his eyes looked at her confounded. "Twins? That means two kids, right?"

Her laugh bubbled up through her chest. "I love it when you are this confused. Yes...I might have two kids in me."

His hands tightened around her hips and he frowned. "Damn my eyes..."

She raised her brows and her fingers caressed around his thick expressive brows. "Not your beautiful eyes..."

His brows disentangled slowly. "Oh sweet heaven...twins?" he insisted.

She grinned and pressed his cheeks. Then she came up to kiss his lips firmly, enjoying the taste of old Toby when his tongue rolled into her mouth achingly. When she finally pulled back he looked dazed. "You'd like that?"

"Oh...yes I would!" the first bright smile made its appearance on his lips timidly.

She beamed up to him. "Me too! I cannot wait to find out really!"

"When did Loa said that she'd know for certain?" Thorin's brow creased again. The eagerness Eilin saw in his face made her heart melt.

"It's too soon yet. She cannot feel them now. All this is just supposition due to the size of my belly. I hate to ruin it for you, but it might just be one huge baby." Eilin cringed regretfully. She really didn't want to see his face falling after brightening up so much to the possible news of twins. Thankfully it didn't.

"You cannot ruin this for me however much you might try. One or two babies, I don't care. I am waiting for them to come out impatiently." He smiled.

Eilin frowned thoughtfully. "It might just be just one big baby now that I think about it. Judging by the way this pregnancy almost destroyed me during the first three months, I bet I'm carrying one legendary warrior in there that has taken after you and who will probably make our lives hell after their birth...or possibly during it..."

He exhaled through his nose. "Now you are scaring me."

She frowned taken aback. "Why?"

"How is it ever going to be able to come out of your dainty body?" he looked at her with obvious concern.

She felt some fear pooling at the pit of her stomach. "If I tell you that the labour scares me too, will you be mad?"

He enfolded her into his body and she nuzzled under his chin. "I'd be understanding. You are a first time mother. This is a new experience both for you and for me."

Her arms came under his armpits and her fingers clutched his shoulder blades. "Will you be next to me when I deliver?"

He exhaled hotly on top of her wild hair and frowned as the fear got rekindled in him. "Nothing will keep me away." -He reassured her, but deep down he was cursing himself for telling her back in Bagshot Row that he was more than ready to become a father. Right now holding her in his arms with her belly growing rapidly and picturing her labouring through a very difficult delivery to a very large baby, he felt anything but ready to face all that. Possibly he was more scared than her, but he would never speak these thoughts to her. His job was to reassure her, not terrify her- "I am sure you will do perfectly during labour. I have complete trust in you and your body and I will be right there holding your hand, men gehyith."

She smiled contently and closed her eyes as his hand came between them and caressed their Little Gem...or their Little Gems. They remained entwined around each other for some time. Eilin was visualising her baby's hair and eyes and it's plump baby fat. Thorin was trying to keep at bay his revulsion at his previous self certainty that he had everything under control concerning Eilin, their family and his impending fatherhood. He had been nothing more than a fool and he was brave enough during this silent debate to admit that to himself. He wasn't ready to see Eilin suffer and he didn't know how ready he was to face his child...or children. He may have raised his siblings and he may have raised his nephews, but truth be told the full responsibility of all those children had never been his. This...now...was something completely new for him. Just picturing the woman he loved writhing in pain send a wave of terror down his back. He wanted to do something to take that impending trial away from her, but he couldn't. Actually he was the one who placed her in this situation and he didn't know if he loved what he did to her, or hated it. He pressed her firmly against him and felt his eyes tearing up, but he didn't allow her to see him. She was breathing calmly and seemed rather content and serene in his arms. When the door knocked, he didn't move. He didn't even open his eyes. He didn't want to let her out of his arms, but she had different ideas.

"That must be the wood carver," -she said and nudged him to help her off the banister, which he did with a wince of regret. She looked down disheartened at her inadequate attire- "Really, now tell me how the hell am I going to open up the door looking like this?" She pointed at the half open pants that couldn't be hidden under the tunic.

"First off you take care to go down to your rooms and bring all your things up here," he rejoined and tried to sound collected and calm.

She looked up at that.

"We are having a baby and we are getting married. There is no point in keeping your wardrobe in another room. Unless you want us to be that kind of a couple. A room each." He flicked his shoulders.

"No way! I am bringing them up by the end of the day!" she said and rushed onto him happily. She climbed up his body and wrapped her legs around his strong hips as she placed a fiery kiss on his mouth.

He held her up and relished on her unbidden passion that helped to ease out his worries and send his fears to hide in the deepest corners of his mind. When finally she pulled back and allowed him a moment to breathe, he spoke again. "Ask my sister for some maternity dresses. They'd feel more comfortable in your condition."

She lowered herself from his arms. "Good idea, but what do I do now that he's banging at the door? Am I going to talk to him with my pants half open?"

"On my way out I'll tell him to wait until you are ready to speak to him and I'll notify my sister to bring you some gowns. Alright?" his fingers pinched her cheek gently.

She blushed. "What would I do without you?"

"You'd probably be thinner..." he winked at her as he opened the door.

Her mouth dropped open and she placed her fists on her waist angrily, but didn't have the chance to rebuke his tease.

When he closed the door, he looked at the elder craftsman who immediately pulled back and bowed to the ground. "Your majesty, I was called here by the Queen. I hope I am not disturbing."

Thorin's lips pressed. "She's unavailable currently. Remain here and she will call you in shortly." He said casually and turned toward his sister's room.

The craftsman inclined his head respectfully. "I am at her service my lord."

Thorin frowned and stopped in an afterthought. He mauled the idea that awoke in his mind for a few moments before giving the Dwarf a thoughtful gaze. "When the Queen gives you her wishes, you shall report them to me. Don't commence any work before you talk to me."

The dwarf kneeled. "At your orders my Lord."

"This remains between us," Thorin looked at the man coldly.

"Of course your Majesty." The man rejoined respectfully.

Thorin inclined his head and knocked at his sister's door.

* * *

It was close to afternoon, two days later and Eilin was in the company of the Princess at one of the common areas, where several ladies have brought up gifts for the Queen and her baby. Clothes and quilts and sheets of beautiful embroidery that made Eilin's eyes sparkle. She was picking up the small clothes one after the other, simply unable to get it into her head that her baby was going to fit in them. They looked so tiny that if you stretched them from the fingers, they reached the middle of her forearm. She loved them so much that she buried her nose in them and tried to feel the softness of their fabric. She thanked each and every lady that had taken the time to make something for the unborn prince or princess of Erebor and gave them ample time to talk with her. She asked their names, information about their families and about their own children.

Dis was sitting next to her, admiring how all embracing her sister in law was. The timid Eilin that used to hide under a heavy hood a few months ago was nowhere to be seen. If someone asked Dis what was Thorin's biggest accomplishment she wouldn't have pointed towards Erebor, the Blue Mountains, the Arkenstone or any huge battlefield. She would have pointed towards Eilin and her ever growing belly. She would have showed her sister-in-law's brilliant smile and declared that this has been created by her brother and it was worth every treasure in Erebor's vaults.

"Oh, dear, it's impossibly small. The baby won't fit in this!" Eilin eyes popped open when she took a beautiful pink tunic from a young dwarrowdam with long golden hair.

"It will fit, my Lady. It's for the first days of birth!" the young lady rejoined eagerly.

"But isn't it too small?" Eilin raised her brows lost at Dis.

Dis pursed her lips. "Judging by the descriptions of my father about how big my brother was as a newborn I'd say it is a bit on the small size, but we shall see."

The young golden haired dwarrowdam dug up through her basket and took out more baby tunics. A deep blue and a maroon one that were much bigger. She offered them to Eilin. "In case the young heir of Durin proves to be as big as our King!" she beamed.

Eilin smiled sweetly and embraced all the clothing offered. "Oh, thank you so much. Can I keep the pink one though please?"

The young dwarrowdam reciprocated the smile. "I made it for you! I can make you more if you like it!"

"I'd love to have more if you can. As small as the pink one and I don't care if the baby doesn't fit in them. I'll keep them as a memento!" Eilin reached out to pull the girl into a warm embrace that had not been expected. The girl's eyes grew wide from shock at first, but then she embraced the Queen back.

When they pulled away she bowed respectfully. "I am so glad you like them. I am going to start on the new ones immediately!"

"I adore them, I cannot wait to show them to Thorin!" Eilin rejoined and began checking each piece again with meticulous attention, feeling that she couldn't get enough of them.

That is when Dis's hand fell on her forearm trying to draw her attention.

Eilin looked up truly lost inside a baby cloud of amazing possibilities. "What?"

Valdis was approaching, been help up by Fili. Her eyes were bloodshot, her face pale and her hands were trembling. Eilin immediately forgot all about the gifts and frowned.

"What is wrong with the lady?" Dis stood up and looked at her son.

"Mother she's here to inquire an interview with the Queen." Fili said calmly and caressed Valdis' forearm.

The poor girl didn't even seem to notice. Her eyes were stuck on the glowing face of Eilin.

Dis crossed her arms angrily. "If this is about a case we all know, you are wasting your time! Try bothering Thorin, Eilin has had enough of all this. She doesn't need this right now!"

"What is this all about my lady?" Eilin placed the clothes on the intricate basket next to her and stood up also.

The other ladies upon understanding that this was a private conversation left discreetly.

"You don't need to bother with this Eilin, take the basket and let's go." Dis said dismissively.

"Mother please, that's enough..." Fili's voice sounded frustrated.

Dis turned around and pointed at him. "Just because you are interested in this woman romantically doesn't mean you have to intervene on her behalf to Eilin! Especially since you know how difficult all this has been for her! She's bloody pregnant...she's had enough of this nonsense! Allow her to enjoy her pregnancy and don't bother her with this filth!"

"My lady..." Eilin tried.

Dis turned at her angrily. "You've had enough. You don't need to listen to this. I know why they are here."

"My interest in Valdis is not the reason I am assisting her through this," Fili tried.

"Then why are you doing it, especially when you know it will burden the woman who is bearing your cousin in her loins?" Dis placed her hands on her waist angrily.

"Because it's her sister...and I know how it is to lose a sibling..." Fili whispered unable to hide how much this was affecting him.

Valdis moaned and hid her head on Fili's chest. His hand came up and cupped her cheek protectively.

Dis's face became living, but she remained silent.

"Give her a chance please..." Fili begged.

"Take that request to the King. He's the one who will decide Karunn's fate, not Eilin." Dis said, but a little less forcefully than before.

"We did..." Fili swallowed heavily.

Dis raised her brow. "Did he give you the brush-off?"

Fili scowled. "He didn't even allow her an audience."

Valdis released a few sobs from the safety of Fili's chest.

Dis inhaled deeply. "So you decided to plead her case on the only person who can change Thorin's mind?"

They both remained silent at that rebuke.

Eilin paled.

"You'll fall into a dead wall again if you think that anything will change your uncle's mind about this woman after what she has done." Dis rejoined sternly.

"Allow her to try at least mother, please...she's inconsolable. What happened is not Valdis' fault. She's as much a victim as the rest of us." Fili entreated his mother.

Dis nostrils flared and she looked at Eilin.

"It's okay my lady, I want to listen to lady Valdis, please." Eilin said quietly.

Valdis looked up hopefully from Fili's chest and instantly tore away from him. She run up to Eilin and clutched her hands. Then she fell down to her knees in front of her. "Please my lady, I know we didn't have the best relationship back in the Ironhills, but I am here to beg you. I have no one else to turn to, but you!" she cried.

"We never had bad blood between us my lady. Please stand up..." Eilin cringed.

"Since you are so determined to listen to her then allow her to do it in the proper manner." Dis snapped.

"But she's kneeling...she shouldn't..." Eilin tried to pull the poor woman up.

Dis spoke over her. "She's kneeling in front of the Queen of Erebor!"

Everybody froze, but above all Eilin whose face became pallid. Her hands trembled between Valdis' fingers.

"My Queen...I beg you... allow me to have one last talk with my sister please! I know she must have done something horrible in order to be thrown into the dungeons. I know my sister well. She's capable of some really evil actions. I know not what she has done this time, but I suspect that she was involved in the incident that broke you and the King apart. The one that almost brought Erebor to it's knees. I don't know the details nor will I dare to ask them from you, or from the King's family" -Valdis looked back at Fili and Dis respectfully- "But I will beg you to allow me to ask my sister about them. I need to have this closure my Lady, please! The prince told me that things don't look good for my sister. She will be brought into a trial that will end up either in branded exile or even worse, to her execution. I need to speak to her before everything ends."

Eilin's heart was suddenly broken for this young woman. Karunn may have destroyed her family and almost killed her unborn child, but this woman's plead was truly making her ache. She tried to pull her up, but Valdis resisted. "Please stand up..."

"I asked my uncle and he strictly denied me to approach Karunn. I know he wants to protect me, but he's slowly killing me. I asked the King, he's not even accepting an audience with me. I have no one else to turn to. I know the King send my father and mother back to the Ironhills. The crows intercepted them just before they reached Erebor. That means the plans for my sister are grim and the King is trying to spare the pain from my father. King Thorin holds Lord Fain in great respect, I know. Maybe that is the reason he's denying me access to Karunn. Maybe that's his way of protecting me, but I don't need protection my Lady. I need to speak to her before everything is over."

Eilin cupped her mouth and felt tears staining her cheeks. "Oh heavens..." she muttered.

Valdis crushed her lips on Eilin's hand. "Please...I'll do anything...I beg you...speak to the King for me. There is no one else who can do that in the whole of Erebor. Only you...please my beloved Queen...".

Eilin looked at Dis. The princess had a cold unaffected look in her eyes that scared Eilin. "I will...try" she stammered.

The wail of pain that left Valdis' chest was enough to rattle both Fili and Eilin, but not Dis who remained totally impassive. "Thank you, may Mahal bless you and your husband with health. May he bless your child with health and wealth and shower them with glory that will surpass that of their father..."

Dis rubbed her forehead. "Enough...just take her away for Mahal's holy beard."

Eilin looked incredulously at the princess. "Allow her please. She's in pain..."

"And you are pregnant! I am not having this pregnancy endangered by any member of this accursed family anymore!" Dis snapped.

Fili took hold of Valdis' shoulders and pulled her up. She was barely standing. "Mother enough!"

Dis pointed at him. "You shouldn't be talking. You know exactly what happened. You are allowing your heart to take over your mind...your logic is gone. We'll need to have a serious talk and soon." Came the warning.

Fili raised his brow. "With pleasure mother." -Then he turned at Eilin who was still trying to get a hold of her feelings- "Thank you for listening to her."

"Of course," Eilin muttered lost.

Fili inclined his head and led away the distressed dame carefully. When they were finally gone Eilin emptied herself on the stone bench looking lost at the baby's gifts.

Dis humphed. "That shouldn't have happened."

Eilin looked up.

"If Thorin finds out that they placed you right in the middle, he's going to be mad," -Dis grumbled- "and I won't blame him!"

"My lady..." Eilin tried, but Dis spoke over her.

"You got almost choked a few days ago by this woman's sister and you are trying to intervene on their behalf? You are going to aggravate Thorin, do you wish to do that?"

Eilin shook her head. "By no means."

"If he denied her access to Karunn then he's got his reasons and they are not of personal vendetta. My brother works through things with logic even if they are affecting him emotionally. We don't know what's on his mind about Karunn. We don't even know if there are things at play that we are unaware off. If he denied Valdis, then he's got serious reasons!" Dis said with barely constraint anger.

Eilin cupped her cheek, feeling at a loss.

"And now Valdis found her way to you through my son! Through my bleeding son! If that's not manipulative, then I don't know what it is!" Dis spat.

"Hopeless..." Eilin muttered.

"What?" Dis turned at her sharply.

"Not manipulative. That was truly hopeless.." Eilin said and felt her eyes tearing up again.

Dis shook her head. "Oh no, don't tell me she convinced you to intervene."

Eilin didn't speak.

"You shall not go near Karunn! Remember what happened last time?!" Dis glared at her.

Eilin nodded. "I will not approach Karunn, no."

Dis pointed at her. "Don't go to my brother with this request unless you want to come head to head with him."

Eilin paled.

"Are you sure Valdis' tears are enough reason to have a feud with your husband about the woman who destroyed your family?" Dis raised her brow.

Eilin averted her eyes.

"It's pointless. Whatever decisions Thorin has made, or is ready to make for her will not be affected by your words. I know him, now you shall learn him better too. He might adore you, but when it comes to matters of such gravity he listens to no one but his own mind." Dis crossed her arms.

Eilin swallowed heavily. "That doesn't mean I cannot give this a try."

Dis exhaled through her nose truly annoyed. "This will lead you nowhere, but in a feud with my brother. Is Karunn worth something like that?"

"No...she's not.." Eilin rejoined sincerely.

Dis pursed her lips.

"But Valdis maybe is worth it..." Eilin said thoughtfully.

Dis placed her palm on her face and prayed quietly at Mahal to gift her sister in law with some sense, but Eilin felt nothing. She was mauling the idea of approaching Thorin with this request already. Hadn't he told her to embrace her people and tend to their needs? That is what she was trying to do. She was trying to embrace not only her people, but the idea that she was the new Queen of Erebor and that she had to act on their behalf, even though this meant that sometimes she was going to work against the will of her husband.

* * *

It took Eilin another two days and nights to come to the resolution that this was worth her intervention. She saw the deterioration of Lady Valdis every day at the grand dining hall. The girl was barely able to stand. Lord Dain and Fili were always with her, but even though Fili seemed very supportive, Lord Dain seemed as cold as Dis had been. Even a tad bit more. Maybe the princess had been right. Maybe there were things taking place that none of them knew about. Maybe she should steer clear from this mess and mind the baby gifts and the cradle she had ordered and that damned wood carver hadn't even began making yet.

She was filled with painful uncertainty as she was walking down to Thorin's forging station, trying to decide up to the last minute what she wanted to do with all this. As she turned and saw him working, half naked with the sweat running down his ribs, her heart smiled and she was one step from rejecting Valdis' request once and for all and keeping her relationship with Thorin unbothered. She wanted to go to him, kiss the living daylights out of him and show him all the baby clothes the common women had gifted them with. She wanted to share the happiness of her pregnancy with him, not come head to head about Karunn.

He looked up as she stood at the archway with her arms crossed.

"First time I saw you entering this doorway I was already conniving ways to convince you that an old dwarf like me is worth the effort." He said calmly.

She smiled sweetly and approached. "First time I entered this doorway I was thinking that such a gorgeous Dwarf Lord as you would never see me as anything more than a stable maid."

He offered her a bright smile that loosened her knee caps.

She placed her palm on his shoulder and leaned down to offer a gentle kiss to his sweaty skin. "What are you making?"

"Something..." he replied vaguely and his small hammer hit the carving fish tail, creating a beautiful trail onto a wooden plank.

"Didn't know you could carve wood," she raised her brows.

"Surprise..." he smirked.

"I thought you only specialised in forging swords and weaponry." she leaned her chin on his wide shoulder in order to observe his work from the comfort of their close proximity.

"Don't want to sound arrogant, but my hands are skilled in more than one way." He gave her an appreciative side look that send a hot flash through her bosom.

She snorted and nibbled his shoulder gently. "I can vouch for that."

He tilted his head and continued his work.

"So what made you decide to work on wood this time?" she raised her brows.

"Just for a change," he flicked his shoulder unbothered.

"Thorin is this perchance a daisy you are carving on that plank?" she raised her brows.

"Might be...certainly it's a flower of some sort..." he winced as he looked at it.

"Hmmm...what kind of wood is this. Cherry perhaps?" she rejoined carelessly.

"I think so," he nodded.

"A most rare kind of wood in this part of the world." She noticed.

"Most certainly."

"So you like daisies?" she continued with the same casual tone.

His deep voice hummed.

Her body responded unwillingly with a shudder. "Well, what a coincidence."

"What is?" he picked up the plank and looked at it. Then he blew the wood chipping away to look at the design.

"That I ordered a cradle made out of cherry wood with a daisy carved on the head board." She was unable to hide her smile.

He didn't notice. "Well, isn't it a coincidence indeed..." he rebuked unfazed.

Her lips opened up to nip his skin and he bit his lower lip obviously affected. "Thorin..."

"Eilin..." his mouth curled up in playful side smirk.

"You are fooling around with me I know..." she said.

"I'd never dare to fool around the Queen of Erebor...what a load of bollocks..." he waved her off, but the side smirk never left the hairpin of his mouth.

"Look at me...!" she demanded.

He raised his azure eyes on her and she instantly felt her heart stopping. "I'd like to hear you command me to do other things with that fierce tone..." the insinuation on his voice was clear.

"Sweet Mahal, you are intolerable at times. Put that chisel down!" she commanded.

"Oh, my...you are really going in with the commands, aren't you?" he huffed, but did as she told him.

"Can you please take me seriously?" she wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her onto his lap.

"I'll take you anyway you wish my beauty," his fingers brushed her ribs.

She smiled. "You are making it hard for me to be serious."

"I love the serious side of you. Try harder." he chuckled.

"Thorin are you making our baby's cradle?" she cooed close to his neck and gifted him with a dozen gentle kisses, trying to coax the answer out of him.

"I might be.." he responded quietly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" her beautiful green eyes gazed at him dotingly.

"I wanted it to be a surprise." His arms tightened around her waist.

Her finger traced the ridges of his upper lip. "You intercepted my wood carver, didn't you?"

"You sound mad." he whispered.

"Not at you, but I was becoming pissed off that the wood carver hadn't done anything about my order...okay now I am maybe a bit angry at you for not telling me what you were up to." she scrounged her lips.

"You are becoming too assertive on me."

"You hate that?" she whispered.

"I love that..." he smiled.

She snorted. "Who knew that the legendary Mountain King enjoys a bit of roughness from his wife?"

"She's the only one he would accept it from." He pulled back and raised his brow at her.

"So you mean I have complete control over the King of the North?" she twisted her fingers around his warrior braid.

"You have a pretty tight grip I'd say," he admitted.

"Thank you for making the crib. If I knew you could do it I would have never asked another one to take the job," she said solemnly. Slowly her face lost its brightness and that made Thorin frown.

"Then why do you look so gloomy? Don't you trust me to deliver?"

She shook her head. "My mood has nothing to do with the crib..." she replied.

"Why are you like that then? Is the Little Gem causing trouble?" his hand rubbed her round stomach gently.

She cupped his hand and shook her head. "No, it's not our baby either. I wish to speak to you about something very important, but I don't know how to approach you with it."

Thorin looked at her captivating eyes. "Try honesty. It works well on me."

She exhaled through her nose. "Thorin...remember what you told me the other day about learning how to act like the Queen of Erebor?"

He nodded solemnly. "Yes."

"That I should embrace my people and tend to their needs?" she continued.

He inclined his head silently.

She pressed her lips and looked at his sweaty neck for far too long as her mind was trying to decide what to do. He held her close patiently, not intruding her thoughts until she decided to speak again. "That is why I am here today. I am here to relate a request from one of your people."

He looked at her peacefully. "I am all yours."

She nibbled her bottom lip. "It is from Lady Valdis..." her voice lost it's original self certainty.

"What does she want?" his voice remained calm.

That gave her courage. "She needs to see her sister."

His brows creased slowly.

She felt the cold hand of apprehension squeezing her insides. "She knows that something serious happened, but is short on the details. Her uncle is strictly denying her access to Karunn and she knows that what caused her arrest will probably send her branded into exile or execute her. She wants to say a last farewell and I don't find that an irrational request, do you?"

"You'd condone to this?" his eyes thinned on her.

"Yes..." -she rejoined eagerly- "it's not a favour I am doing to Karunn, but to her sister who is as much of a victim as we are."

He pursed his lips. "I see."

"Do you find this request unfounded?" she tried to find his thoughtful gaze.

"By no means," he responded, but his face had become seriously calculative. It was as if she had lost her Thorin somewhere between their words and now she was being held by the stern Mountain King.

She sighed. "You can understand the pain of a sister who needs to see her sibling then."

"I have siblings. I can empathise."

She felt a timid smile forming on her lips. "Then you agree?"

He shook his head. "Unfortunately no."

Her heart fell. "Why Thorin?"

He pressed his lips and looked at her face. "Valdis' request arrived to me via my nephew also. The answer was the same there too. Apparently they decided to get to me through you."

She looked disappointed. "Does my attempt anger you?"

His palm touched her jawline and his thumb caressed her chin. "No, it makes me proud, for you are acting like the true Queen of Erebor. You are embracing the needs of your people and you are working for them. Part of your job is to decide which person to assist and which to decline."

She smiled timidly and felt her cheeks catching fire.

"As is mine, therefore the answer is still no." His voice turned stern.

"Can you at least explain to me why you are so adamant to deny her? It's not as if Valdis visiting her sister is going to change Karunn's fate in any way." Eilin rejoined gently.

He averted his eyes to her bosom for several moments. "As much as I love you there are somethings I don't have to explain to you."

Her face fell. She leaned her forehead until it was touching his. "I thought we shared everything with each other. No secrets, that's what you said."

One hand left her waist and came up to cup her nape. "That concerns our relationship my Queen, not matters of state. Forgive me."

She nibbled her bottom lip. "Are you going to kill her Thorin?"

"Do you care about Karunn's life?" he whispered.

"I care about Valdis." she said tenderly.

"Let her be taken care of by Fili. Karunn's fate will not be decided emotionally, based on her sister's needs. It will be decided based on her crimes, for that I assure you." His voice was cold and calculative.

Eilin remained silent, but her fingers twisted through his hair slowly. "Thorin I know you are not a murderer. I don't want her death to stain your hands."

"It's my obligation to give out justice. If that means that she must die, then so be it. It won't be the first time my hands will kill someone." Thorin frowned.

"In the heat of battle, yes. In cold blood, no!" Eilin's eyes filled with anxiety.

"Every single one of my kills has been in cold blood, even in the heat of battle." Thorin tried to find her eyes.

Eilin averted them to his throat.

"Nevertheless I assure you that Karunn's case shall be judged according to the Laws of the Elders. I shall not step out of those borders in order to satisfy my own lust for blood. Does that put your mind at ease even a little bit?" Thorin cupped her cheek softly.

Eilin raised her head and their eyes engaged. "Yes." Her soft fingers slipped through his hair and caressed him gently. "But what about Valdis? Maybe you should reconsider..."

"I find it wonderful that you have embraced your role so deeply and that you care so selflessly about your people. You overlooked how painful this case is for you personally in order to assist someone who is currently suffering. I expected nothing less from you and your courage and strength make me immensely proud of you." He smiled at her and cleared some locks from her cheekbone.

Eilin blushed.

"Nevertheless my decision is irrevocable here. There are things you don't know about this case."

Eilin opened her mouth to speak, but he stopped her.

"Things you don't need to know. I will not condone on Valdis' request no matter how much I admire your attempt to assist her." He continued calmly.

Her fingers twisted gently through his hair and she leaned down to kiss his cheek. "...but you do understand that we are separating two siblings don't you? No matter how evil one of them is..."

"Neither will your alluring ways change my mind on this. I can do everything for you, but not this. I am sorry." He frowned and grasped her hair pulling her back firmly.

"I am not touching you like this to convince you. I do it because I love you," she whispered and felt her eyes tearing up.

"This woman destroyed many people as she sought revenge. She attempted to murder your best friend. She killed an unborn child and attempted to murder it's father. She broke us apart and almost cost us your life and the life of our child. I will not be pulled down any road of guilt concerning neither her nor her sister." He spoke with a forbidding tone of authority that made Eilin's heart clench.

She remained silent knowing that she wouldn't be able to break through this side of Thorin. It was the first time she was coming face to face with the King in him and his dominion gave her serious pause.

"Stay away from Karunn's cell..." he warned.

She nodded. "I will."

"Stay away from Valdis and Dain." He continued.

She swallowed heavily.

"Don't overlook my command in this Eilin, I warn you." He pulled back and his eyes seared into hers.

She felt her heart stopping and a strong shudder of fear run down her back. "You are scaring me."

"It's not me that you should fear, but this family. Haven't they done enough to us?" he lowered his head and his eyes burned through her.

She nodded and pulled him into a fierce embrace. "Yes, my heart."

His arms came around her firmly and he enfolded her close. "However much I respect you and your need to care for your people, I will not have you meddling in this. There is more at stake than you think. Keep away, do you understand?"

She nestled under his chin and gave him an affectionate kiss on his neck.

"Yes." she whispered as they hugged ardently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Easter egg for anyone that might recognize it. These words are certainly not mine.


	60. Between a rock and a hard place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Just a small note to tell you people that the idea of Thorin being a skilled wood carver and offering his child a family heirloom made by his own two hands was an idea of my dear friend and dare I say co-author StephCalvino. *.*

It was the soft tapping of the rain on the window that made Eilin open up her eyes. She was snuggling on Thorin's chest with one arm trapped under her and the other sprawled over his stomach. She cringed and looked at the half open curtains they had forgotten to close the previous evening. The sky was dark grey, but there was no snow anymore and if there was any left on the northern passages, this heavy rain was going to melt it all down. Spring had arrived up here in the Mountain, but it was not the same as in the Shire. The temperature was certainly warmer, but the clear days were still rare and the blue sky was still mostly hiding behind the rain clouds. Thorin had reassured her that soon enough she'd be able to enjoy milder weather and witness Mirkwood blooming, which was in his words, a magical sight. Eilin heard his steady heartbeat under her ear and stretched her leg that was resting carelessly above his. A yawn escaped her as she tried to stretch also the upper part of her body and wake up the numbness of her trapped arm. She felt her ever growing belly pulling her painfully and she curled into a ball on his torso trying to calm down the aches and pains that were becoming worse with each passing day.

Loa insisted that Eilin's belly was way too large for the time she's been pregnant and was constantly trying to feel the baby. She told both Eilin and Dis, to the princess delight and to Eilin's horror, that there was possibly more than one baby in there, but it was difficult to detect the second one. Either because the first one was too big and had taken over Eilin's belly, or because the second one was significantly smaller and possibly trapped behind the larger baby towards Eilin's spine. Something that made it hard for Loa to feel it. So she was left with the doubt if she was carrying twins or one single huge baby in there, but anyhow whatever occupied her insides was very active. Pushing, kicking, pressing her bladder and making her need to pee dire all the time. She felt aches in her ribs, her lower belly and even her lower back, but every time she felt movement in her stomach she also felt relief. Just knowing that the baby was well was enough to calm her down, yet the more the pregnancy progressed the more she felt unsure that she was going to make it to delivery in one piece. She remembered how Thorin always considered her so fragile and dainty and that he was afraid he was going to break her. Well, apparently it was their baby that was going to manage this, not the King. She snuggled once more against him and his breathing changed. His arm came up and pulled her on him. He turned his head and buried his face in her wild red curls. Soon enough his breathing became steady and deep once again. She gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead and regretfully disentangled herself from his arms. She walked to the bathroom and took her time to relieve her poor bladder. When she was finished she came back and burrowed next to him under the heavy covers.

"You awake?" she whispered and her fingers followed the line of hair down to his stomach. There she traced without looking his large scar and felt her heart clenching for a few moments. The skin on it was very thin and painfully stretched under her fingers. It felt as if it was ready to break at any moment.

He didn't reply and his breathing pattern didn't change.

Eilin lifted up her head and placed a gentle kiss at his bearded jawline. Then she leaned on her elbow and smiled down at his sleeping face. She reached up and cleared some stray black wavy locks away from his eyes and her forefinger glided gently on the other large scar over his right brow. She took her time to caress it as her mind felt more and more troubled with the thoughts that had been bothering her during the last two days.

"What am I going to do Thorin?" she whispered and frowned down at his calm expression.

No reply again and she knew he was in deep sleep once more as the arm that had pulled her close before was now laying useless on the pillow trapping his long hair under its weight. She didn't want to wake him up and yet she wanted so much to talk to him, to ask him again. To plead once more even though she knew he would refuse her like he had done the first time. Two days after trying to intervene on Valdis' behalf and she was still guilt ridden that she failed, even though Dis told her that she needed to pull back and allow her husband to take care of this. Nevertheless poor lady Valdis returned on her hands and knees bellowing her pain at Eilin with such honesty that the poor Queen broke apart. She may have come a long way from her days at the tavern, but Eilin knew all about emotional trauma. She knew everything about pain and her empathy towards Valdis was causing her heart to bleed. Thorin had commanded her to stay away from Valdis and Karunn with such austerity that Eilin wouldn't have ever dreamed of doing anything behind his back. Nevertheless Valdis' pleads couldn't go unheard. Her need to act as a proper Queen to her people was clashing with her need to listen to her husband. Eilin didn't have the ability to detach herself from other people's emotional distress so easily. She had acted in a similar manner towards Thorin's deteriorating state at the beginning of their relationship. She was always running after him to help, because she felt his pain. It was not much different with Valdis now and it mattered little that her sister had caused all this pain to so many people. She still wished to help the young woman see Karunn one last time before Thorin decided to take through a trial and probably lead her to the gallows.

Dain was as adamant in keeping Valdis' away from the dungeons as Thorin and a small worried voice in the back of Eilin's head was trying to remind her that maybe there was a reason her husband and her sister-in-law were acting so. That she didn't have all the information she needed in order to decide properly. Yet when she asked that information from Thorin, he didn't give it to her. Dis reassured her that it was not something uncommon for the King to keep matters of state away from his family. Her father did the same and so did Thror, nevertheless Eilin was too involved in this case already.

"It's not me that must decide, is it?" she whispered and her fingers found their way down to his stomach scar once more. They began drawing gentle circles there and she felt her throat getting dry. Her eyes never left his handsome face, delighting in the abandonment of his repose. She never remembered him oversleeping her. He was always the first to wake up and the last one to fall asleep. He had sworn not to rest until he had his family in his arms and he had meant it. Now that he had Eilin in his arms he overslept her many times. She found herself getting up earlier than him by the need to relieve her abused bladder and after that she just couldn't sleep. So several mornings like this one she stayed above him musing at his face and thinking about their baby. This morning though unfortunately, all her thoughts were about Valdis, Karunn and her role as the Queen.

Was it she that had to decide about Valdis' or Karunn's fate? She exhaled through her nose and her fingers traced his beard until they found their way through his thick mane after lingering on his golden earring for a few thoughtful moments. "It's you that will decide, and yet I cannot remain idle my love." She spoke with a hushed tone. "I cannot remain idle when there is a soul in pain and I can do something about it." -she continued thoughtfully- "You told me to take care of my people and that is what I want to do, but you are stopping me. I don't want to disobey you, but this is so hard for me. For once I have the power to help someone and my soul yearns to do it, against your command. Will you ever forgive me if you find out?" her fingers twisted thoughtfully in his hair and she leaned down. Her lips remained above his bearded chin. "I love you so much," she said under her breath and gifted him with a soft kiss that made him stir under her cosily. She felt his smile forming upon her lips and closed her eyes.

He didn't respond with words but with a lazy and sleepy kiss of his own. His lips reciprocated softly and his warm breath coasted along her jawline raising her hair in attention. The more she continued her gentle probing, the more he awoke and became increasingly responsive to her. The more she seemed dedicated to use her mouth in order to awake several parts of him, the more he reciprocated until he was finally able to take control of that sizzling kiss. The arm that was resting on the pillow came up to clutch the back of her head and pull her down firmly. Then his mouth opened up to allow his tongue to reach out to her. She exhaled hard and gave him all the access he required whole heartedly, as her body awakened with unexpected yearning. He was fresh from sleep and it was apparent by the roughness that he was putting into this kiss and by the firmness that his grip had on the back of her head, but she rather enjoyed this assertiveness in him a lot. The warmth that began trickling in her core the moment their lips touched, now felt like a river of lava. Apparently their abstinence from intimate activities was causing both her and him to have a lot of bottled up emotions that only needed a small cause to erupt and engulf them. Her fingers that up till then were pressing his stomach wound, carelessly sailed under the quilts and brushed tentatively against his substantial morning arousal. When her small fingers curled around him, he responded with a hiss and a rather rough bite on her bottom lip. "No..." he whispered and opened up his mesmerising azure eyes.

She swallowed heavily and moved her fist, just to test the waters. He threw his head back to the pillow and closed his eyes. "Good morning handsome..." she whispered and leaned down to inhale the musky scent on his neck.

"Eilin what are you doing?" the hoarseness of his voice send an explosion of need down her spine that ended between her thighs, that she squeezed in order to get some relief.

"I am giving you pleasure my heart. You seem to yearn for it. Look at you. Look at how you woke up..." her voice was hushed as she gifted him with dozens of wet kisses all over his chest and neck. Her small experienced hand worked on him unhurriedly, focusing on what she already knew he liked the most.

His breath hitched and he closed his eyes tight. "I didn't wake up this way. Your kiss did this to me." His sleepy voice caressed through her senses, setting them on fire.

"Does it matter? Now lay down and enjoy!" she said. Then she leaned down to kiss and nibble every available patch of skin until her mouth opened up to engulf part of his large scar. This was her carnal way of letting him know that this morning she wanted to have the upper hand on him.

His jawline flexed and his fingers twisted painfully through her hair. "Going in with the commands again?" he whispered.

"I am going to go full force today. Now don't speak!" she rejoined and kissed without hurrying the line of hair that led to his virility. Just feeling her breath on him was enough to make him clench his teeth and his buttocks with the need to feel her soft and warm mouth around him. It had been so long since he had felt her, as he denied every opportunity she had offered him for relief. He was determined in receiving pleasure only when he would be able to offer it back to her. Be as it may, this morning she had caught him off guard and it was rather difficult for him to say no even though his sense of honour was screaming that he should stop her. The battle raged on inside him even though his loins were on fire and the pain of need was almost suffocating him. Still, he had the self control needed to tunnel his fingers through her hair in a feeble attempt to restrain her.

"I will not take pleasure, if I cannot give it back to you," he gritted his teeth and looked decisively down at her. Her exhalations caressed his weighty erection. His body translated each of her panting breaths and each drive of her determined fist, into a new wave of pleasure that was soon going to become overwhelming. His imminent surrender was something that wasn't even debated by his body which was aching to be touched, but his mind was making a valiant effort to resist, still.

She shook her head and looked at him through hazy eyes. Her lips were already parted. "I love your sense of honour, but you will do me a favour today."

He raised his head and looked at her beautiful green eyes.

"Be silent and don't move...much." Her gentle, but firm voice send his mind reeling into the void as lust overtook every single logical process.

He raised both brows and opened up his mouth to answer that he wasn't ever going to do such a thing. That he was going to voice his opposition, both by words and with actions, but all his honourable intentions seized and a sharp and shocked inhalation ripped through his throat as she turned around and engulfed his arousal without any more words or any other warnings. His breath got trapped into his chest and the world around him stopped turning for several craving moments. When she moved a deep moan of gratification busted out of his half open mouth and his eyes squeezed tight as he was unable to hold onto his physical reactions anymore. Eilin was unable to taste him fully, as his formidable size made that task impossible, but feeling the wet warmth of her sweet mouth enwrapping as much as it could from the most sensitive part of his body was enough to congest his mind with thick fog. "Eilin please no..." he begged, but he was not sure what he was begging her for. Did he truly wish her to stop?

She hummed her intention to continue her thorough work, and he hissed as her voice drummed through his loins making his hand twist roughly through her hair. "Please...pull back." Another sharp inhalation slashed through the air and then another and then another as she did the exact opposite of what he was begging her to do. She remained exactly where she was and she became rather concentrated in offering him the gratification he was craving for, proving to him that all their time together had made her a very skilful lover. She knew exactly how to build him up and how to please him. He both hated her and loved her for that. He hated that it was so easy for him to lose command of his body when he was with her and loved the fact that it was his wife spiralling him out of control.

He wasn't able to observe the waves of pleasure that rippled through her countenance as she decided to make him suffer. Much like he had done to her several times, when she was begging him to pick up speed and he was refusing. He had taught her well and good that a slow steady pace could enhance the arousal and the consequent release from such a trial could be truly intense. So she used all the knowledge she had gained from him, not giving any notice to his unimportant tries to pull her up by the hair, or to stop her in some manner. Knowing that he was trying half heartedly and that deep down he didn't want her to stop, pushed her to work on him harder, not intending to stop until she felt him erupting under her. She wanted to taste his need for her so much that her lower body became a warm river of desire that unfortunately was going to be left untouched today. That didn't stop her from tightening her thighs in order to offer herself relief as she steered him slowly out of control with the use of her mouth and hands.

His passion for her had become so accumulated and so intense that he was unable to control the reactions of his body to the way she was working him up. His stomach was undulating hard and his breathing was slashing the air like a whip. Her body responded to him so well that she felt her own breath heaving alongside of his while she kept up his achingly passionate build up. She closed her eyes and felt her heart elating by her ability to control his pleasure so well.

"Heavens Eilin..." -he wanted to plead with whatever voice he had left, -enough- or -stop-, but instead he beseeched her, totally conquered- "don't stop..."

A strong shudder shook her body at him accepting defeat and she listened to his request as his moans and heavy groans echoed loud into their chambers. Her precious onslaught on his senses continued until he was truly unable to keep still. His hand that up till then was twisting her hair tightly, disentangled suddenly and reached up to grasp the headboard of his bed. His other hand joined in and his fingers twisted around it ferociously. Neither him who was buried deep into the dizziness of his rapture, nor her in her fierce concentration ever heard the wood cracking under the pressure. As the pleasure in his loins came closer to the heights that Eilin had been aiming for him he felt his breath becoming almost frantic. Eilin felt him in her mouth, but also under her fingers, on every single inch of his body and knew he was almost there. She thrilled in the expectancy of his ultimate ecstasy, like always and her body responded accordingly as her muscles tightened in a desperate need to feel him. When his release came it was one of the most fierce explosions he had ever dedicated to her. His unraveling left Eilin awestricken and him in ruins. She tasted everything he had to give her as he writhed and arched under her and she didn't hear his strong hand ripping off part of the wooden headboard like it was made out of paper. He placed his forearm above his eyes trying to regulate his breath as his body convulsed hard under her tender care.

"Oh Mahal..." he panted and squeezed his eyes tight.

She looked up to him and delighted at how wasted he looked. She loved having so much power over him. She adored her ability to cause him to come apart at the seams like that. She delighted in witnessing his desire for her. She took in every single detail of his conquered body and face as he lay there on the bed with his arm above his eyes and his skin glistening with sweat. She bit her lower lip enjoying the fact that his arousal had been so satiated that it now needed to withdraw from her. She may have been left with a throbbing core and a wetness that had stained her underwear, but the image of Thorin in total surrender was too precious not to covet like a treasure time and time again. She smiled sweetly and climbed up his wasted body until her bosom was resting on his chest and her creamed underwear were enfolding his fading arousal. She pulled his arm away from his eyes.

"Beautiful. I will never get used to you coming undone for me. Seeing you in pleasure is the most erotic thing I have experienced in my life. I'll never get tired of telling you." she whispered and caressed his bottom lip with her fingers.

He shook his head. He looked dazed and out of sorts. He was still panting hard. "We shouldn't have done that...it's so inappropriate..." the added hoarseness on his already deep voice, send shivers down her spine.

Her eyes looked at his other hand that was resting on the pillow. He was still holding the wooden piece he had tore off the headboard. "What we've done was absolutely magnificent and I will repeat it as many times as you will allow me until you can reciprocate the gesture. Alright?"

His hand came up and cupped her cheek. He drew her in and kissed her so tenderly and so deeply that her chest released a long kept moan into his mouth. "I cannot wait..ask Loa...now...I mean tomorrow...I mean as soon as possible," he whispered back at her and his thumb toyed with her earlobe.

She giggled in delight. "You loved this, didn't you?" she bit her lower lip.

He huffed and his eyes seared into hers. "I was that obvious?"

"If it wasn't from the way you were reacting, then it is by this broken piece from our bed," she raised her brow and showed his hand.

He looked at it and snorted. "I didn't realise."

"The headboard realised alright," she frowned and grabbed it. She placed it at the side table and then concentrated on his face once more. She undulated her hips above him and the bed creaked dangerously. "It needs fixing or it will probably fall apart on us when we try this again, not to mention that this creaking will betray us to the whole of Erebor." She smiled delighting that his most intimate part was offering some partial relief to her core. Maybe she should test how much the bed creaked again, right?

He drew her down to him. His mouth opened up to nip on her neck gently. "I'll fix it."

"You have no idea of your own strength sometimes I feel," she moaned gently as his mouth opened up to bite the side of her collarbone gently. Then he laid her down in bed and came above her, but took care not to put any pressure to her belly.

"And you have no idea of the strength you have upon me..." he rejoined and his hands came around her wrists and pinned them to the mattress next to her head.

She moaned softly and looked at him through a haze. "I like the roughness in you..."

"I know," he swallowed heavily and then without any warning he came down to her neck and his mouth opened up to suck her skin in so fiercely that her body thundered with shivers that raised even the hair on her head. Her eyes rolled back and a broken groan of bliss erupted from her chest as he bit her ravenously, offering her pain along with pleasure. She twisted and writhed under him wishing to feel his body closer and for his mouth to never stop it's torture. When he pulled back she felt her neck both wet beyond count and rather abused, but her loins were aching with longing. "I want to eat you alive!" his low predatory growl echoed into her core and she tensed under him. So did his fingers around her wrists.

"Thorin you cannot reciprocate now...I haven't talked with Loa..."

He exhaled in defeat and butted his forehead on her bruised neck frustrated. "I hate this!"

"I love this!" she rejoined.

He looked up from her neck. "You love the fact that I cannot pleasure you?"

"I love that I can offer you this much pleasure. We will have time to do more soon, my love." She smiled at him affectionately.

He laid down and enclosed her into his chest tightly. "I both hate that I cannot touch you long enough to please you, but I also fear doing such a thing and endangering this poor pregnancy again, just in order to satisfy our urges. That is why I didn't want you to act upon them. Now I feel guilty on not reciprocating."

She smiled lovingly. "I understand your worries, but truly you've been boiling close to explosion for so long. As much as you love offering me pleasure, the same goes out for me. I love giving you pleasure and I wasn't going to wait until I come to term to offer you some. Your unravelling won't cause any harm to my pregnancy. As for your guilt trips...put them to rest. You did nothing to evoke this. This was all mine, from start to finish! Now can you stop ruining this bliss for both you and me?"

He chuckled and gave her a soft nod. "I'll stop, but I am counting..."

She frowned. "Counting what?"

"The times I will need to see you come for me...hard...in order to feel that we are even." He swallowed heavily and as his eyes looked at her lips he frowned with a determination that made her stomach fill with butterflies.

"I like the sound of that." -She whispered- "By the way this kiss of yours is going to leave my neck rather bruised."

He raised his brows. "Just a love bite from your husband, to make sure everyone knows this mesmerising beauty is taken."

She beamed up to him. "As if my rather large midsection isn't saying enough about that one..."

He pulled her up from the chin and gifted her bruised lips with a doting peck. "Speaking of which, why did you wake up this early? Was our Little Gem causing you pain?"

"Needed to use the bathroom," she snuggled comfortably on him.

"Why didn't you sleep again?" he whispered.

"I have a lot on my mind Thorin..." she felt her brows clouding after all that bliss she shared emotionally, if not physically with him.

"What bothers you my heart?" he frowned.

She nibbled her bottom lip thoughtfully. She didn't know what to tell him about Valdis that would make a difference anymore. Maybe she should have tried that request when he was at the height of his pleasure. Maybe then he would have accepted. She snorted and shook her head.

"You thought of something inappropriate didn't you?" he smirked and tried to look at her eyes.

She smiled widely. "You know me so well..."

"Don't try to be evasive. You didn't tell me what kept you awake." He didn't allow her to change the subject.

"My obligations as the Queen did," she replied honestly.

He sighed. "Is this about Valdis again?"

"Yes," she hid her face from him defeated. It was so hard to hide her emotions and her thoughts from him.

He looked up patiently and caressed the soft hair on the back of her ear. "This is eating you up."

"It is truly tearing me apart. My heart tells me to help her and I cannot deny it Thorin. This is so difficult for me." Eilin admitted with a hushed voice.

"Did she approach you again?" his brows furrowed and she felt the negativity awakening in him. She didn't want that, not after this beautiful trip to ecstasy this morning. She didn't want to ruin his mood nor hear another dismissal from him on something that was truly bothering both of them.

"No," she lied.

"Then let it go. Valdis will not see her sister," his voice turned stern.

"Why Thorin..."

She felt him tensing.

"Why are you so determined against this?" She pulled back and looked at him.

He shook his head. "I know this is burdening you, but we are not getting into it again. I am sorry."

Eilin exhaled and leaned her head heavily on his chest. "Fine."

His hand drew thoughtful circles on her shoulder and then he pulled her up until her temple was resting on his lips. He kissed her softly. "I know I am making you angry and sad with my denial. I know what a kind heart you have and how much you want to help people, but I won't allow you to become the middle woman in this accursed state of affairs. Karunn's fate will take its course and Valdis will be kept away."

Eilin hesitated. "What course is that Thorin?"

He didn't answer, but his fingers stopped their soft touch and pressed her skin vigorously.

"When is the trial going to take place?" she asked feeling her stomach clenching.

"It's been postponed for now," he replied quietly.

"Why?" Eilin looked up sharply.

"Reasons I cannot yet divulge with you, for they involve other people who wish for this to remain quiet." His voice was calculated, but warm.

Eilin's hand rested on his chest and her eyes seared in his. "Will she be send in exile?"

"Not decided yet." He tilted his head.

"Will she be executed?" she closed her eyes and pressed her face on his ribs.

"Stop Eilin. When there is an answer, I will give it you. What is it that you seek I wonder." His voice may have been tainted with a commanding tone, but his hand resumed it's comforting cuddle.

She exhaled hard. "This execution..." she left the thought float.

"You don't want Karunn dead?" his rich voice made her open her eyes after several silent moments.

She hesitated. "I ...I am not sure I want anyone dead Thorin."

He nodded. "You prefer exile for her, I suppose."

Her fingers curled tightly around his stomach and she pressed them on his skin to make her point stronger. "Yes."

"Have you ever given thought to what would happen if she tried to get vengeance on our family later on, when our child is born?" he spoke calmly, but his words send a trail of goosebumps down Eilin's back.

She swallowed heavily and clutched on him. "Don't say things like that."

"Think with your mind, not your heart. This is a woman that didn't hesitate to kill the unborn. Do you feel safe with her being alive and roaming Middle Earth after you give birth to our child?" he insisted.

She felt her stomach twisting around painfully. "I ...I don't kn-ow," she stammered.

He gave her a thoughtful nod. "I understand that you might not want her death on your conscience."

She shook her head quickly. "Not only on my conscience. No matter what she did, I don't want the dark energy of her death befalling our family Thorin..."

He sighed and observed her quietly for a few moments . "Very well my treasure. I hear you." He finally said.

She felt her brows creasing. "What do you mean?"

"I heard your request," his arm came up and flashed her against his body.

She felt her eyes tearing up. "Really?"

He tilted his head. "Really."

"Thank you Thorin..." she whispered.

He remained quietly thoughtful.

"Will you spare her then?" Eilin whispered.

"I said I heard you and I shall consider your request, amongst all my other options when the time comes. I haven't decided yet. She did tried to kill you, your friend and our baby. She killed another innocent baby and almost murdered it's father. This is not just a matter of heart from you. It's much more serious and involves other families apart from ours. It's much bigger than you and me."

She squeezed her eyes and gritted her teeth frustrated. "I know all that, why are you telling me again?"

"Because I want to mute your heart with my voice. I want you to listen to the brutal reality and put your thoughts into perspective." He rejoined decisively.

She nodded, but remained silent as her eyes were burning with unshed tears at the memories of what Karunn has done to them. She knew her husband was right, but her heart didn't wish anyone's death to stain Thorin's hands. They were made to hold her and their babies, not the knife that would take someone's life. Her emotions stopped her from realising that Thorin's hands had already taken countless lives in the past and so would they take more in the future.

"Now that you have fallen silent I can presume that you are ready to think with your mind and not your heart." He said calmly.

She gave him a defeated nod. "I am anything but ready, but I will try."

"That is the only thing I wish from you. I can reassure you that I have heard every word you spoke from the heart and I will value it accordingly when the time comes for me to decide." His smile was loving and she felt it.

Still her heart had a shadow cast over it. She swallowed heavily. "Thank you."

"Both my pleasure and my obligation, my Queen," he clasped her hand and brought it to his mouth. He placed a soft kiss into her palm that blossomed a ghostly smile on her lips.

"Can I try to ask about Valdis one last time at least?" she said timidly.

"No," this time his voice was austere.

Her fingers stippled through his. "Forgive me for insisting so much."

He nodded and looked out the window at the heavy rain. "You should try to get some sleep. You rarely rest nowadays."

"Loa said that the pregnancy will cause me many difficulties as it progresses. It's okay, I don't mind. As long as I know our Little Gem is healthy, I will be fine." She smiled and drew both their hands on her belly.

He stroked it tenderly. "Sleep, I will stand guard." He reassured her.

She closed her eyes truly intending to fall asleep in his arms as he brooded in his thoughts, like they had done so many times before, but this time things worked out quite differently. It was his breath that became heavier and steadier by the minute and soon enough he was the one drawn into the world of dreams whilst she was left behind.

Eilin's face was deeply introspective, as her eyes mused at the rain for a long time. When she decided to abandon their bed she made sure he was covered well and planted a soft kiss on his lips, taking care not to wake him up.

It took her awhile to go through the bathroom, dress and comb through her very long hair in order to become the presentable Queen of Erebor. When she closed the door of their room she knew that she was going to do something that would enrage her beloved husband, but would set her soul at rest.

* * *

"Where are we going my Queen?" Valdis looked confounded at the empty corridors and at the silence that was ruling Erebor at this early morning hour.

"Can you just please call me Eilin?" she cringed and grasped Valdis' hand tightly, pulling her along.

"I cannot of course...no...you are the King's honourable wife..." Valdis rejoined humbly, but Eilin spoke over her.

"If you haven't notice my lady I am still the same Eilin you knew from the Ironhills."

"No you are not. It's you that don't realise the difference between then and now..." Valdis frowned, but allowed Eilin to lead her down the winding corridors that became darker and darker with each level they were passing through.

"Hush your mouth..." Eilin whispered and she pushed Valdis back into a dark alcove. A small platoon marched by them as they escorted two miners that carried a basket of something bright and shinny to the upper levels.

"What was that?" Valdis asked in a hushed tone.

"Soldiers..." Eilin frowned and pulled her out of the alcove in order to continue towards their destination.

"Now see? Eilin of the Ironhills wouldn't have ever done what you did just now!" Valdis noticed.

Eilin looked above her shoulder confused.

"You hushed me and made us both hide away from these soldiers. The Eilin of the Ironhills would have stood behind me, hiding behind her hood without intending to take on any initiative. You are the one who is leading me right now my lady, do you comprehend?" Valdis said firmly.

Eilin scrounged her lips and nodded. "I suppose you are right. I am different, but how can I not be? You have required the Queen to wake up in me when you asked for help about your sister."

Valdis hesitated. "I had no one else to help me. Prince Fili did everything he could, but he can go so far with his uncle."

"I didn't get anywhere with the King either. He was explicitly negative when it came to you, I told you." Eilin shook her head.

Valdis stopped in shock and jerked Eilin's hand back. "That's where you are taking me now? Are we sneaking in the dungeons?" Her eyes became large with shock.

Eilin looked around them restlessly. "Did you think I got permission from Thorin? No way."

Valdis felt her eyes tearing up. "You are doing this against the King's wishes?" she whispered.

Eilin nodded. "Unfortunately for me, yes."

"Why?" Valdis' eyes looked confused.

Eilin sighed and looked at the stone floor. "Because I cannot bear to feel your pain anymore. I cannot see you cry in front of my doors night and day. I cannot take it..."

"You are doing this just for me?" Valdis took a step closer to her.

Eilin flicked her shoulders. "For you and for me equally."

Valdis fell into her arms so unexpectedly that Eilin yelped. She embraced the Queen fervently. "Thank you my lady. I shall never forget the kindness of your heart. My life is yours!" the young lady bellowed.

"Keep it down, it's okay. I understand your need to see Karunn. Just please keep it down before they figure us out and stop us." Eilin tried to calm Valdis down.

"Thank you, thank you..." Valdis stammered unwilling to let Eilin go from her arms.

Eilin exhaled sadly. "You know how many times I begged for help back at the Forsaken Inn?"

Valdis' teary eyes looked up from Eilin's bosom. She didn't dare speak.

"Endless times. You know how many times someone helped me?" Eilin continued.

Valdis shook her head not knowing what to answer to the Queen's sudden painful trip to the past.

"If you except Rhiannon, none did. Not even my foster parents. I was left alone with my pain. I've lived with everybody's indifference to my anguish for many years. I cannot bear witness to such feelings of hopelessness in anyone else and remain silent. If it's in my power to help someone I will and life gave me the power to do so now. I am going to use that strength in order to help my people through their hardships. I don't want to see another person crying for help and being coldly pushed aside, ever." Eilin said and a few tears rolled down her cheeks.

Valdis' lips were trembling. "Erebor is so lucky to have you as it's Queen my lady and I am so lucky that I got to know you."

Eilin rubbed Valdis' shoulder blades reassuringly and allowed her a few moments to settle down before she pulled her along by the hand again. "Come, we're close."

Indeed it didn't take them long to get down at the dungeons of the ninth level caverns, one of the deepest parts of the golden city. A place that no one apart from the most hardcore delvers and miners entered in order to work on the new huge chasm that led to the heart of the mountain, or the guards that kept the most dangerous criminals away from the rest of Erebor. When Eilin turned under the huge archway that had Khuzdul runes carved on it she looked up and read: "Past this point, there is no hope"* A shudder of fear sailed down her spine. She hadn't noticed this the first time she came down here with Dis.

She looked at Valdis whose face was livid and led her through the final corridor, remembering vividly the way to Karunn's cell. There were three cells down there who had guards in front of their heavy iron bolted doors, but Eilin didn't know who was detained in the other two. When she reached Karunn's cell door she stood proudly in front of the indifferent guards.

"Open the doors." She commanded.

They didn't move.

Valdis looked at Eilin fearfully.

"Open the doors for the Queen," Eilin tilted her head as majestically as she could and Valdis inhaled sharply.

Both guards presented arms according to etiquette, but they didn't move. "King's orders. The door doesn't open my Lady for anyone." One of them spoke respectfully and bowed his head.

Valdis grasped Eilin's hand and the Queen squeezed her back reassuringly.

"I have discussed with the King and the orders have changed. This is the sister of the prisoner. She's allowed one last talk with her sibling before the trial." Eilin forced herself hard to sound as commanding and calm as Thorin would have sounded. She didn't know if she was doing a good job, but the guards did exchange a cautious look. That fed her with courage.

"No one notified us my lady," one of them said.

"There wasn't enough time to do so. I had a talk with the King just now," Eilin raised her brow.

"If the orders don't reach us through an officer we cannot allow you in my lady forgive me," the guard replied with modesty.

Eilin exhaled through her nose. "So you don't believe the word of the Queen?"

The guard paled and tried to find support on his friend who played deaf.

"Either you open up the doors for lady Valdis now or I shall speak to the King. I am here to help this Lady speak to her sister one last time." Eilin tried to sound assertive.

The guards didn't move, but their hesitation was starting to become obvious. Eilin decided to push harder.

She inclined her head loftily. "Very well, I am going to speak with the King. I will be sure to relate to him your loyalty, but also how this loyalty made me take two trips down the dungeons. Good day gentlemen." She took Valdis' hand and pulled her away from the door.

"What are you doing my lady?" Valdis hissed.

Eilin didn't reply. She counted inwards as she distanced herself slowly from Karunn's cell.

When the guard spoke again she felt a wave of relief rushing through her. "My lady please, don't take another trip to the upper levels..." -he stalled and looked at her body- "in your condition." He added.

Eilin turned around coldly. "So you believe me?"

The guard bowed and so did his friend. "Yes, my lady." He rejoined and unlocked the door.

Valdis ran up to the entrance impatiently and Eilin followed closely. She stopped Valdis just before she entered the dark dungeon. "I cannot come in with you, but I will remain outside with this valiant man." She looked at one of the guards who bowed his head. Then her eyes fell on the one who had made conversation with her. "What's your name my good man?" She asked calmly.

"Haugvari, my Lady." He kneeled to the ground.

She smiled at him. "Haugvari, you shall escort lady Valdis into this cell and you shall make sure the prisoner does not come close to her. You shall protect her with your life."

The guard placed his palm above his chest. "At you orders, my Queen."

Valdis bowed gratefully to Eilin and entered the room. Haugvari followed her and the other guard closed and locked the door behind them. Eilin sighed deeply and crossed her arms.

"Now we wait..." she told him and her eyes fell with perturbation on the locked doors.

* * *

It was exactly two days later and Eilin's rather bold decision to go behind the King's back again had not yet been discovered. Truth be told, if the events of this day never took place, then Thorin would have never learned what Eilin did. The golden bell's chime echoed into the corridors of Erebor for the third time and Thorin opened up his eyes with a deep frown. It wasn't those chimes that woken him up though, but the frantic knocking upon his doors. He vaguely remembered that Eilin woke up early again to go to the bathroom and after trying to get some sleep to no avail, she told him that she was going to go to Dis' rooms in order to sort out all the new baby clothes the common women of Erebor had gifted them with. She was so excited about the baby and all the paraphernalia that he couldn't but smile sweetly at her happiness. When she left, sleep caught up with him rather quickly and it was a lot later that this knocking woke him up for good. His eyes squinted towards the heavy door behind a curtain of wild hair, but he made no attempt to get up.

"My King we have an emergency!" one of the guards outside bellowed.

"Of course you do..." Thorin whispered and covered his head with the quilt. He felt rather exhausted even though he had slept well all through the night. The need to rest hadn't abated his body yet and he took every opportunity he could to satiate it. As long as his people left him to it he could sleep all day without any remorse. That was apparently not the case this morning.

"My King!" the guard repeated when there was no answer from the royal chambers.

"Stand aside! That's not the proper way to wake him up!" a familiar voice grumbled and Thorin's door was thrown open.

He looked up startled and saw Balin storming his rooms.

"What the hell are you doing?" Thorin scowled at his friend.

Balin rounded the bed and drew the covers away from Thorin's naked body. He went to the cupboard and pulled out a pair of trousers, a tunic and a belt. "Dress up!" He said.

Thorin sat upright on the bed. "Care to tell me why you woke me up this way? Is Erebor on fire?"

Balin threw the clothes at him. "Not yet it isn't."

Thorin pursed his lips and began dressing. "Yet?"

Balin crossed his arms and inhaled deeply trying to keep in control. "We have an emergency at the infirmary."

Thorin's brows creased. "And Oin couldn't take care of that?"

Balin looked up to the ceiling and began counting fingers. "Also an emergency at your court with one of your most valued allies, at the royal family and with the Ironhills."

"What?" Thorin's scowl deepened as he wore his belt and then put on his boots.

Balin approached him. "Lady Valdis tried to commit suicide by cutting through the veins on her wrists. Princess Dis found her in a pool of blood this morning and took her to the infirmary. Oin says her life is not in danger, but she came very close to bidding us farewell."

"Why in the name of Mahal did she do something like that?" Thorin's mouth dropped open.

"Because a certain someone allowed her access to her sister and who knows what that evil woman told that poor girl to drive her to take her own life...you know what Karunn is capable of..." Balin raised his brow.

"Who allowed her in? I have given strict orders that Karunn's cell was not to be approached by anyone on pain of death." Thorin raised his brow menacingly.

Balin bit his lower lip. "The Queen did."

The anger in Thorin's eyes gave it's place to momentary confusion.

"Eilin?" he muttered.

Balin pursed his lips. "Your wife found a way to take Valdis to see Karunn. Don't ask me how. Even the guards are not talking about this. She apparently has gained their respect and love...they don't want to betray her now. Well, one of them is not willing to speak against the Queen and the other one is unconscious! This is a right old mess!"

Thorin's jawline flexed and he looked at the door with slowly boiling anger. "Unconscious?"

"Dain has taken out his wrath upon one of Karunn's guards who is currently hospitalised with serious head trauma." Balin wiped away the sweat from his forehead.

Thorin gritted his teeth and spat a curse in Khuzdul as he rushed out of his rooms like a menacing chaos that was ready to consume everything in its path. Balin followed his friend quickly.

* * *

"What in the name of the fires of Mount Doom Thorin!" Dain grumbled and walked quickly up to the King when he saw Thorin entering the infirmary.

Thorin's nose flared as he tried to keep himself in check. His eyes fell on the bed where Valdis' face was deadly pale. Next to her was Eilin who had her elbow locked with his sister. They were both looking at him with dread. Dain's hand gripped Thorin's muscular forearm so tightly that the King had to clench his teeth against the pain. He reciprocated the grip and his eyes seared into Dain's fearlessly.

"I begged you to keep her away! I knew this was going to happen! I knew how sensitive my little pumpkin was! She was standing at the precipice and you pushed her off the bleeding edge!" Dain cried.

Eilin closed her eyes and hid her face on Dis' shoulder. The princess embraced her protectively.

Thorin's fingers pressed Dain's forearm vigorously. "Keep your bloody voice down!" He spat angrily.

"She almost died! She cut her veins with one of my hunting knives! What am I going to tell her father?" Dain said in barely suppressed worry that was masked under waves of fury.

"She's safe now. Oin will take care of her," Balin tried to calm down the spirits.

"I don't care what she is now! I care what she tried to do to herself because of Karunn! Who knows what that evil fiend told my pumpkin to make her want to take her own life..." Dain closed his eyes and tears run down his cheeks. He was in true anguish.

Fili stood up from Valdis' side and looked at his uncle Dain. "She is better, but please keep your voice down uncle. She can hear you."

Dain gritted his teeth and opened up his bloodshot eyes at Thorin. "I trusted her safety with you and you failed me.." he whispered and his disappointment echoed nastily in Thorin's stomach.

"I did." Thorin admitted. "Forgive me."

"Why didn't you let me take care of this?" Dain snapped, but Thorin pulled his arm with such strength that their foreheads almost touched.

"Because that is not your bloody job! Now keep your voice down!" -he spat between his gritted teeth- "This discussion is only for your ears and mine, no one else's..." he hissed and his tone instantly placed Dain on guard.

Dain may have been trembling by the rage boiling in him, but his voice became hushed under Thorin's assertiveness. "I told you she was going to destroy what was left of my poor family, didn't I?"

Thorin looked at the bed and felt his nape crawling with anger. What was he going to tell Dain? That he did everything in his power to keep Valdis safe and he was tripped up by his own wife? His eyes fell coldly at Eilin who was sobbing at Dis' bosom. "I am sorry you had to see Valdis this way. It was never my intention for her to get hurt." He said quietly.

"Fain is coming..." Dain told him after a few silent moments where Thorin's eyes were shifting deliberately between the hurt girl and his wife.

"I send the ravens to hold him off..." Thorin looked at Dain's burning gaze.

"He knows something is wrong. He resumed his journey to Erebor, after escorting his wife back home. He should be arriving at any moment. If he sees one daughter imprisoned and the other half dead he's going to kill himself." The fury of Dain's voice slowly retreated and Thorin recognised the despair that was hiding behind.

Thorin swallowed a dry throat and the muscles on his forearm flexed as his hand became a tight fist.

Dain shook his head and his fingers loosened up on Thorin's arm. "I tried to protect them because I knew Karunn was going to spread her darkness everywhere before she followed her grim fate. I failed...I failed..." he repeated and looked mournfully back at the bed.

Fili was caressing Valdis' hair.

"Your younger niece is still alive." Thorin's solid voice came to remind Dain that there could still be order in chaos.

"Finish this please, before my brother arrives here!" Dain's voice was full of anguish.

Thorin's lips pressed angrily. "Don't get into this again with me Dain. I won't accept anymore warnings from you. You shall have to trust me to deliver justice or you shall be send back along with your brother until I sort this mess out."

He looked at the King. "How will you deliver justice Thorin? How will you be able to manage all this with Fain on the way here?"

"There are ways. Trust me to know what I am doing." Thorin looked at him straight in the eyes.

"Her father is coming and I don't think it will be that easy to clear up this mess with him on your case. He will try to save Karunn and I will never reveal to him what his youngest daughter did to herself because of her sister. Don't tell him either, please."

Thorin's eyes thinned and his head tilted in forewarning. "I won't lie, if I am asked." His voice dropped.

"I will, in order to protect my family. I cannot allow Fain to be drawn down this hell. Allowing him to learn that one of his daughters caused the other one to commit suicide would be heartless!" Dain continued fervently.

Thorin exhaled hard through his nose.

Dain exhaled defeated. "I rushed to your help cousin, now I need yours! I need you to help me clear up the name of my family and sustain my brother. I don't care about his wife. She's the real cause behind all this. I only care about Fain and my little pumpkin. Help me, please!" This was the first time Dain's voice turned from assertive to pleading.

Thorin closed his eyes and tightened his grip on Dain's forearm. "I will do my best."

Dain looked at him for several moments before speaking again. "You'll have to face Fain."

"So I shall," Thorin frowned.

"He will beg you to spare her." Dain's nose flared.

Thorin remained silent.

"Don't listen to him, please!" Dain hissed.

Thorin inhaled deeply, but his eyes burned through Dain's determination.

The Ironfoot's shoulders slouched. "Even if I overlooked how many lives she destroyed in her quest for vengeance, I cannot overlook that a baby died because of her and that she led her sister to attempt suicide! Can you, Thorin?"

Thorin felt all the blood draining from his face.

"Let's drop all pretence between us. We both want her dead, but your position is difficult. You are not free to act according to your wishes. Your titles are holding you accountable to your people and to the Laws. My brother will beg you to spare her." Dain said.

Thorin's lips pressed tightly. "I am ready for him."

Dain inclined his head. "What are you going to do about all this?"

Thorin didn't reply, but kept his eyes fixed on his cousin.

Dain nodded. "You are my brother, my captain and my King! I trust you with my life! I will trust the name of our family in your hands once more. Avenge me and Fain..."

Thorin swallowed heavily. "I hear you."

Dain gave him a curt nod and left the infirmary with an air of menace that covered everyone like a heavy blanket.

Just as the room was taking its first breath of relief from Dain's departure, Thorin's arising fury came to suffocate it again. His eyes fell at the bed of the recovering young lady that was just beginning to open up her eyes as Fili was whispering comforting words to her.

"Move her to a private room now!" Thorin grumbled to Oin who crossed his arms and nodded in accordance. Fili looked above his shoulder to his uncle totally heart broken. Thorin was witnessing the third couple that was being destroyed by this woman's evilness.

"As you wish." Oin replied.

Then Thorin's scrutinising gaze fell heavy on his wife that was being supported by Dis.

"Thorin..." Eilin stammered and made a move to approach him...to beg his forgiveness...to embrace him.

His head gave her a slow negation and she froze in place.

"Thorin listen please," Dis started.

He raised his hand with authority and Dis pulled back. Eilin sobbed and Dis pulled her head on her shoulder protectively. "Not a word." He spat and with one last look at the bed he turned around and left the room, carrying with him a whirlwind of darkness that didn't leave anyone unaffected.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * small easter egg for my friend StephCalvino. She mentioned Dante's Hell in one of her analysis, and I thought these words were indeed appropriate for the place that held Karunn.


	61. Brothers in arms

That night Thorin locked himself up in his study denying to speak with anyone feeling truly angered by Eilin's disobedience that led Valdis to her evil sister and subsequently almost killed her. He tried to understand why his wife decided once more to work against his command, especially in a very serious matter of state. He didn't expect Eilin to follow his lead in the confines of their privacy, but he did expect her to understand that she couldn't put her finger in every single affair that troubled the King's mind. Especially when he was strictly against sharing anything with her. Even though in their personal relationship Thorin held Eilin far above himself, in his job he demanded to be allowed to act like a King and not have to look above his shoulder to see if his wife was going to trip him up again. The damage that was done to the poor girl was heartbreaking and his relationship with a valued ally and a dear friend had been shaken from the roots exactly because Eilin decided to disobey him and created a chaos around her.

Eilin was given rather suddenly a lot of power and her deepest wish was to use it in order to help people, but she lacked on experience. She didn't know how to process every information, weigh the pros and cons and then decide based upon her logic and not her emotions. She apparently helped Valdis because of the goodness of her heart, but this affair didn't need neither her nor him to act on heart. It needed cold blooded calculation because there were too many balances and alliances at stake. This heinous affair was much bigger than them, but his One had failed to understand that. She was led by her emotions, without being able to recognise every single moving piece of this bloody puzzle in order to avoid the setbacks. He could acknowledge that Eilin lacked not only in experience with ruling, which at the end of the day was not her job, but also she was much younger than him. She had lived fewer years and she had seen far less during them.

So he had an array of excuses for his beloved to use with anyone who might have tried to throw the blame on her, but he made sure that would never happen by taking it all upon himself. He didn't want this mishap to stain Eilin's reputation. His skin was much tougher, it could take much more on it before cracking. She had just gained that precious self esteem that he admired so much. He didn't want her to retreat again into the shadows, beating herself up, even though what she did was seriously wrong. This was not the way he wanted his marriage to work. He didn't want to end up distrusting her, still what happened was not reason enough to throw his beloved in the fire.

With these thoughts in mind he remained in his study, musing at the fire and studying his scrolls for most part of the afternoon. Dis knocked on his doors as a envoy from his wife, who was probably too afraid to face him after what she had done. He denied her the opportunity to speak on Eilin's behalf. What concerned his family was to be dealt only by him no matter his sister's caring intentions. That night he fell asleep on his armchair in front of the fire and Eilin thankfully didn't try to see him again. A small flare of remorse nudged his soul when he became aware that he left his very pregnant wife to sleep alone, but he silenced it easily. If this was the worst punishment he could give to Eilin then she should consider herself very very lucky. What woke him up the next morning was the pain on his back and of course a tenacious knocking on his doors.

He didn't plan to get out of his office soon as he had a lot of things to consider concerning Karunn and Fain, but when Gloin entered with the brightest smile Thorin had ever seen from him and related the surprising news, Thorin decided to break his seclusion and use this small interval to calm down his spirits. He followed Gloin down to one of the mining caverns of the deepest levels and Dwalin found the opportunity to tag along, mostly because he wanted to calm Thorin down after that incident with Dain.

"This way your Royal Highness, this way," the brakesman held up the torch that lighted up the path of the drift, leading Thorin and Dwalin through the dark passages.

Thorin looked around him at the stacked stones on the sides of the entrance that were kept in place by huge tree trunks. This was not a new venture of the delvers. It was an old abandoned mine shaft that was discontinued during Thror's era. Thorin remembered it clearly. The rock around them was solid and dense and it was obvious by the echoes of the voices at the far end of the darkness. The sturdier the rock the deeper the echo. Thorin recalled that the rock had been very difficult to break through with the axes and it was too close to the chasm to risk an explosion so finally Thror had pulled back all the crews in order to designate them in other shafts that were already producing a lot of gold and rare gems. Thorin didn't remember ordering any of the crews to reclaim this abandoned tunnel, so one of his lead miners must have taken an initiative with it.

"I don't think that leaving the mess at the upper floors in order to pursue this is going to help anyone," Dwalin noticed.

"Remaining up there in order to boil myself in oil won't help either." -Thorin rebuked- "How's Dain?" He asked in an afterthought.

"Taking all his wrath upon the troops, what did you expect him..." Dwalin spat.

Thorin exhaled through his nose in annoyance. "This is a bloody old mess..." he muttered.

"Eilin sure placed you in a tight spot. I don't envy you." Dwalin rejoined.

"Did I allow you to come over in order to piss me off by telling me the obvious?" Thorin glared at him.

"No, you did because I am the only you can talk about all this without holding back your thoughts and your feelings." Dwalin said nonchalantly.

"Could have done the same thing with Eilin. It would have possibly saved us a lot of trouble," Thorin pursed his lips, angry this time at himself.

"So why didn't you?" Dwalin looked at him with interest.

"This involves people who don't wish their situations to be known." Thorin rebuked.

"She's your wife to be, she's carrying your children." Dwalin shook his head.

"That doesn't mean that I will divulge Dain's personal request to her. He begged me to keep Valdis safe and not speak to anyone. I won't breach his trust. Get your head together Dwalin." Thorin said dismissively.

His friend looked at him steadily.

"Notwithstanding, Eilin should have trusted my judgment. That would have been easier on all of us." Thorin grumbled.

Dwalin exhaled. "That's true, but you are not counting how feisty and stubborn she can be. She will finish anything she puts her mind into."

Thorin nodded. "Can't deny that."

Dwalin's lip turned into a lopsided teasing smile. "She made it the goal of a lifetime to get you and look at her now..."

Thorin stopped abruptly and looked at Dwalin incredulously.

Dwalin snorted. "She got you well and good...almost on a short lease."

Thorin's head tilted sideways. "Taking it a bit to far, aren't you?"

Dwalin flicked his shoulders. "She has you wrapped around her little finger, but you are too proud to admit it. She outright deceived you and placed you in a tight spot with one of your best friends. The old Thorin would have exploded in anger and flattened everyone to the wall, but I don't see him anywhere. Do you?" Dwalin raised his brow.

Thorin raised his brow. "I don't necessarily see this as a bad thing. Do you?" He riposted.

Dwalin scrounged his lips, but Gloin's quick steps stopped him from speaking.

"Come, come I just saw it!" Gloin intervened and grabbed Thorin's arm pulling him along.

They followed Gloin up to a rather big opening. There they all stopped and the brakesman pointed upwards at an impressive wooden construction that was occupied by three miners. Their faces were black from soot and the small flickering flames on their helmets did little to lighten up the walls around them, yet Thorin had no difficulty whatsoever to see the bright vein twinkling in the darkness. Instead of speaking Dwalin grabbed hold of his shoulder tightly.

Thorin nodded and a wide smile appeared on his lips. "That can fix my mood alright."

"Mine too...damn it!" Dwalin whispered in true awe.

The brakesman kneeled down in front of the King. "Guttormur discovered it my Lord!" He said and pointed at a thin miner who was hanging by a rope close to the Mithril vein.

"Do you think the vein runs deep?" Thorin frowned at placed his hands at his thick belt.

The brakesman took another torch from the wall and ignited it before throwing it up to Guttormur. The Dwarf lifted it up to the wall and moved it towards every side. As far as they eyes could see there were myriads of Mithril veins spreading like spider webs. Others were thick and seemed very deep, others were smaller, but there was no doubt that Erebor had struck it's first rich Mithril vein in centuries. "I think so your Majesty!" Guttormur replied happily.

Thorin huffed and shook his head. "This is truly impressive."

"Haven't seen anything like that in ages..." Dwalin muttered.

"None of us was born when the last vein had been discovered and drained." Thorin interposed.

Gloin nodded. "None of us ever got the honour to experience something like this!"

"Who ordered these men down this drift? I thought it had been closed up." Thorin frowned at the brakesman.

"Guttormur took the initiative. There were six crews working on the adjoining tunnel so when he saw the entrance he convinced three men to join in for a small exploration. Rest is history." The brakesman said.

"What about the engineer in charge of these shafts?" Thorin asked.

"He was against this endeavour as they run too close to the outer wall that ends in the bottomless chasm, but the lads decided to overlook those commands," the brakesman bowed.

"Oi! Cut it out Hannin you little rat!" one of the drillers cried.

"I am just answering the King's questions!" Hannin replied feeling annoyed.

Thorin raised his brow. "Guttormur is your name?" he turned at the delver.

"Yes your highness," the Dwarf replied respectfully.

"Come down and bring over your crew," Thorin gestured at them.

The workers climbed down the wooden structure with unmatched skill that Thorin wouldn't have ever dreamed off and aligned in front of him. He looked at them carefully and two of them took off their helmets in respect. Guttormur's bright eyes, hidden behind the blackness of his face were watching at the King with wonder. One of his comrades nudged him and pointed at his helmet which he took off quickly. "I am sorry your majesty," he muttered. None of them had ever seen the Mountain King face to face, only from afar and only in one or two rare occasions. Seeing the King even from a great distance was considered great luck in the mining community, never mind having the aforementioned King visiting their working place and looking at them face to face.

"Why didn't you listen to the engineer's orders to remain away from this shaft?" Thorin raised his brow.

Guttormur looked hesitant at his friends, searching for support. "There were some traces of strange coloured rocks on the ceiling of the drift at the entrance. That intrigued me to explore it." He spoke honestly.

Thorin looked backwards. "I see gobbing back there, was it here before you arrived?"

"We placed it my Lord," Guttormur lowered his head.

"Sustained by whole tree barks..." Thorin raised his brow impressed.

Guttormur looked at his comrades who found their boots rather interesting suddenly.

"That means that someone had to bring these tree barks down here..." Thorin continued.

"We did," Guttormur admitted defeated.

"Behind the engineer's back?" Thorin's eyes were contemplative.

Guttormur looked at his comrades and upon seeing no reaction he nodded silently.

Thorin sighed. "This square set timbering. Was it your work?"

Guttormur nodded. "My crew did it."

Thorin moved backwards slightly in order to look better. "That inverted structure on the ceiling...your crew also?"

"Yes, my Lord."

"Rather artistic," Thorin frowned.

Guttormur looked up with renewed courage. "Kilar is the master behind all this structure." He pointed at a stout Dwarf next to him who lifted his awestricken eyes at Thorin.

Thorin gazed at him. "You have experience with architecture?

"No my Lord, only what I did back at my parents house in north Ithilien. I wasn't ever given the chance to explore this kind of work better. All the mining positions were taken at those mountains ranges. I worked the lands to earn some coins in order to support my family."

"Your work can put to shame many famous delvers." Thorin noticed.

Kilar bowed to the ground. "Thank you Sir!"

"He needs a promotion," Gloin raised his brow thoughtfully.

Thorin gazed thoughtfully at his treasurer. "You believe that the vein will run deep indeed?"

"Could very well be, look at it's thickness for heaven's sake," Gloin pointed at it.

"What's your opinion?" Thorin turned his attention at Guttormur.

"We have to bring more crews in to check it my Lord, but it seems pretty rich judging by its brightness, it's thickness at places and the fact that it burrows far into the rock. We have to delve deeper to find out." Guttormur rejoined cordially.

"Did you come from the Ironhills?" Thorin scrutinised him.

"From north Ithilien's mountain ranges my Lord along with Kilar. Brought my family over two moons ago." Guttormur bowed.

"Where do you reside?"

"At the seventh level social residency my Lord. Very close to this shaft." Guttormur looked at the King searchingly. When Thorin's attention turned to the main Mithril vein, the delver looked at Kilar who shook his shoulders at a loss. It took several moments for Thorin to speak again as he, Dwalin and Gloin admired the work of these three miners.

"Very well. Guttormur you shall enhance your crew with twenty more men and you shall venture deeper into the tunnel to see how rich this vein is." Thorin said solemnly.

"I am not a lead miner my Lord. I cannot recruit anyone," Guttormur said modestly.

"You are now, "Thorin rejoined.

Guttormur's confused countenance flared instantly. "What?!" he cried.

Thorin nodded. "You shall be relocated in the second level social residencies, near the eastern central gathering cavern. The engineer responsible for these shafts will be informed about you today. Recruit whoever you believe is capable enough to follow your lead. Moreover you" -Thorin pointed at Kilar- "get a promotion to engineer." -Kilar yelped and his face brightened up- "If this vein proves sufficient the first three Mithril vests will be bestowed to you and your families."

The miners grasped each others arms and their mouths dropped open.

"if you manage to uncover the largest Mithril vein Erebor had seen in centuries I will triple your payment and I will offer free tutoring for your offsprings." Thorin's lips broke into a smile.

"That's quite an honour, men!" -Gloin's glare was intimidating- "Miners children don't get free education. They rarely get a paid one either!"

Thorin chuckled. "Balin will take over the creation of a typical school for the children of Erebor. I'm sure he'll have a blast."

They all fell to their knees in front of him. Guttormur took over. "Your majesty, the honour you are bestowing to us is unfathomable. I find no words good enough to show you our gratitude!"

Thorin clasped the man's shoulder. "It's me that should be thanking you my good man. The first rock of Mithril that will come out of your pickaxe...keep it for me."

Guttormur gazed up with his eyes full of tears. "Yes, my Lord! I shall bring it to you personally!"

"Take a five day break. This tunnel shall be secured until you manage to relocate house and find a crew that satisfies you. You report straight to me." Thorin squeezed the man's shoulder. Then he turned to Dwalin. "Tell Fili to place four royal guards in the entrance of this shaft."

Dwalin smiled widely. "Hell yes I will!"

Guttormur broke to tears and his comrades tried to solace him. "Thank you my Lord. May Mahal bless you, the Queen and the heir to the throne! Thank you!"

Thorin inclined his head and after a few moments of enjoying this rarest find in the Mountain's bowels, him and his friends decided to make it to the upper levels. This discovery had uplifted Thorin's spirits and he felt much more collected when they came out to the grand antechamber in front of the entrance. He felt hope rekindling in his heart and saw this Mithril vein as a sign from his forefathers that he was doing something right in his rule, despite the drawbacks.

Dwalin and Gloin had joined in a fierce conversation about who was going to make the first Mithril order, Dale or the Elves of Mirkwood and Thorin was sauntering next to them with his hands crossed behind his back partly enjoying their friendly banter when the worried voice of Balin broke through this amicable interaction. "I've been looking everywhere for you laddie!"

Thorin turned to see Balin running up to them out of breath. "Not everywhere apparently."

Dwalin grasped Balin's forearm and span him around. "Erase that bloody frown from your face brother. We've discovered Mithril!"

"What?" Balin's brows rose.

"Indeed and it looks like a very rich vein..." Gloin said proudly and crossed his arms.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Balin asked lost.

Thorin shook his head. "Tell me what happened, we'll discuss this find later."

"Fain happened...upon our entrance. Then he happened upon Valdis' room and Dain had been unable to hold him back," Balin raised his brows.

Thorin's face lost all the satisfaction from this rare discovery and a dark shadow was cast over it.

* * *

 

When Thorin entered Valdis' room he felt his back crawling with anger. When his eyes fell at Dis and Eilin he felt his anger becoming wrath. When Fain ran to him in desperation and caught his forearm he felt his heart suddenly erupting with immense grief and guilt...guilt above all. "Thorin! My brother, my captain, my blood!" Fain's eyes filled with tears. His arms were shaking.

Thorin embraced him fiercely and closed his eyes. "Calm down, I am here."

Fain pressed his face on Thorin's shoulder and tightened his arms around him. "I am sorry I disobeyed you, but I had to. I knew something was wrong. It isn't like you to change your orders upon the blink of an eye. Will you forgive me for busting through your doors like this?"

Thorin gripped Fain's nape hard and gritted his teeth. "My house is yours. It was forever so. I love you and that hasn't changed even though I haven't seen you in years. We grew up together you bloody bastard. I still remember you tagging along after me and Dwalin. You know you are always welcome in Erebor!"

Dain averted his eyes that were burning with tears. Seeing the deep affection Thorin still held for his brother was enough to break him in half.

Fain pressed Thorin tightly in his arms and butted his forehead on the King's shoulder. "Tell me please what happened. Nobody is speaking. Neither your nephew, neither my brother. Please Thorin, speak to me for my heart is breaking...my poor daughters...my Valdis...my little girl..." he said and a sob tore through his strong chest. He pulled away from Thorin and looked back at his daughter as if remembering that he had left her alone for too long.

Thorin's teeth gritted as he was still clutching Fain's forearm protectively. He didn't want to let him go, mostly because he didn't want to unfold everything that had taken place up till then with his daughter and cause him any pain. "Give me a moment I beg you."

Fain pulled Thorin's hand up and crushed his lips on it's back. "You have all the time you need. Allow me to go to my daughter, my King."

Thorin pushed him away and Fain rushed up to Valdis who was sat up in bed crying her eyes out on Fili's arms. The moment her father sat next to her, she released Fili and fell on her father almost in despair. "Daddy, please forgive me...forgive me..." she sobbed loud enough to break everyone's heart.

Eilin cupped her mouth to drown her own pained sobs and Dis pulled her over in order to support her.

Thorin looked around the room, allowing his heart to settle down after that emotional reunion with one of his most beloved friends. This was a private moment between a daughter and a father. It didn't need any witnesses, even if they were Thorin's family. "My Lords and Ladies out." He commanded.

Fili looked at his uncle with bloodshot eyes, but didn't make a move to leave.

"What happened to you my beloved child. Who did this to you?!" Fain cried and took Valdis' wrists in his thick hands. His fingers caressed the bandages on them and his heart screamed in pain.

"It was an accident, I swear upon my life daddy it was an accident!" Valdis looked at her heartbroken father, and teary rivers cascaded down her face.

"It was an accident. Just a freaky accident brother, why won't you believe me?" Dain came up and clasped his brother's shoulder. His eyes were also pooling with tears.

Dis clutched Eilin's hand as she tried to find Thorin's eyes.

"Everybody out!" Thorin's rich voice echoed like a whiplash into the room.

Dis pulled Eilin forcefully towards the door. Once more she tried to get close to her husband, one more time she failed.

"Don't, just don't! Not now...follow me!" Dis hissed at the Queen and thankfully for all of them Eilin followed even though her distressed eyes were still trying to find Thorin's.

Fili didn't make a move to leave Valdis' side.

"The command was for you too nephew..." Thorin's voice crawled menacingly.

"Allow me to remain with her please," Fili looked truly broken.

"OUT!" his explosive voice send Dis and Eilin out quickly and Fili followed them after he kissed Valdis' hands and reassured her that he was going to remain outside.

"I am so sorry daddy that you had to find me like this...please forgive me." Valdis whispered.

Fain pulled Valdis in his arms and caressed her soft hair. "What happened to you my darling girl? What befell you?"

"It was an accident daddy," Valdis rejoined and as Fain drew her in she leaned her head on his chest and inhaled deeply in relief. She looked at uncle Dain and the King. Everybody in that room knew...except her father.

"A nasty accident indeed!" Dain crossed his arms angrily.

Fain pulled back and forced himself to smile down at his daughter, even though his heart was not feeling it. "My baby, how did you manage to cut your wrists?"

"I was playing with uncle Dain's hunting knives..." she said quietly.

"Dain allowed you?" -Fain raised his brow- "That was very irresponsible of him."

Dain huffed and bit the inside of his lip until he drew blood.

Fain cleared up some locks from his daughter's face. "How in the name of Mahal did you manage to slash your wrists with those hunting knives? This doesn't make sense my love."

Valdis cupped her mouth and felt more tears running down her face. "I can't...I don't know daddy..." She was at a loss for words.

Fain's broken face turned to his brother. "How did she manage such cuts brother?" he asked and his voice dropped low.

Dain exhaled angrily and turned away from his brother's scrutinising stare. Fain turned to Thorin. "Won't you tell me at least, please?" he begged the King.

Thorin crossed his arms and felt Dain looking at him sharply, expecting him to reveal everything to the broken father. "Sometimes when children play with knives they get hurt, especially when they don't have any training experience." The difficulty that he had in order to deliver those lies had been immense, but he heard Dain's exhalation of relief and released one of his own too.

The fact that the King validated what Dain and Valdis had said, offered their words a strong boost of sincerity in Fain's eyes. The Lord of the Ironhills looked back at the teary face of his daughter and his lips turned down. "Why did you play with Dain's knives?"

"I wanted to impress prince Fili," Valdis said with a diminished voice.

"All this was because you wanted to impress a man!?" Fain's voice became harder. Then he turned to Thorin. "Why did you allow her?"

"I am not on top of her. I cannot know what she does all the time." Thorin told him calmly.

"So what did Fili do about all this? Why didn't he tell you to stop? Why didn't he protect you?" Fain sounded angry.

"Tone it down a bit," Thorin warned.

"He didn't know dad. I just wanted to make him proud of me." Valdis said quietly.

Fain exhaled roughly. "Cannot blame the boy then, neither your uncle nor the King. Just what got into your mind, tell me? A man should fall in love with who you truly are, not who they want you to be. If prince Fili wants his woman to know how to fight in a battle then he could turn his attentions to the she-Elves of Mirkwood. Not a dwarrowdam of the Ironhills!"

Valdis grabbed her father's hand tightly. "He does care for me exactly as I am! This was just a stupid idea that popped into my head. Don't blame anyone please. Everybody took such good care of me, dad! The medical Lord Oin, Prince Fili, Princess Dis, the King and above all the Queen. Especially the Queen!" Valdis may have had her father in front of her, but her eyes fell on the King.

Thorin raised his brow slowly.

"She did everything she could to assist me. She couldn't have known what was in my heart..." -Valdis continued with the same soft tone, but she was speaking straight to Thorin- "Nobody must get punished. Especially someone who tried to help a desperate soul."

Fain frowned and looked back at the expressionless countenance of Thorin. "What desperate soul? I don't understand what you are talking about baby."

Dain decided to intervene, before all this got out of hand. "Enough pumpkin. I think we all understood. Right my King?" He gazed at Thorin.

The King inhaled deeply and inclined his head. "Right."

Fain looked from one to the other in perturbation for a few moments and then turned his attention to his daughter. "I am so happy you feel better and that you are safe...above all that you are safe!" Fain looked at her face lovingly.

Valdis' eyes filled up with tears. "I am glad I am alive too dad, but..." she hesitated.

Fain's palm cupped her cheek. "What is it my precious gem?"

"I hope I haven't disappointed you and mom too much," she averted her eyes.

Dain crossed his arms and his jawline flexed. Thorin averted his eyes to his boots.

"Disappoint us in what?" Fain frowned feeling totally confounded.

"I was never the daughter you really wanted, was I?" she sounded deeply embarrassed and regretful.

Fain pressed her hands and his brow clouded. "What are you talking about?"

Valdis nipped her bottom lip. "When mom fell pregnant with me you had problems in your marriage. Karunn told me. You didn't want another child, but I happened upon you. Mom never wanted me, but she had to raise me, didn't she?" Her eyes flooded with tears.

Dain turned around and leaned close to Thorin's ear. "Those were the words of that malevolent woman!" His voice was barely contained.

Thorin crossed his arms and nodded as his brows creased angrily.

"What nonsense is this? Karunn spoke of such despicable lies?" Fain's face looked shocked.

Valdis shook her head. "You don't have to pretend daddy. I know you love me, but mom never did. She never wanted me. Karunn told me I was unwanted and more so that I never became the daughter our mother wished for. I never fulfilled her standards. She's right dad, I know. I've heard mom speaking behind my back, wishing that I was never born. I tried to ..." -she wanted to say make her wish come true by taking my life, but her voice broke and her heart felt cold and pained. She just pulled her father fiercely and got buried in his arms- "I am sorry I failed you."

Fain closed his eyes and squeezed his daughter tightly in his arms. "You never failed me or your mother. This is the kind of nonsense that Karunn has been telling you all these years. Why are you taking them so seriously now? Me and your mother, we both love you to bits. We cannot live without you. We are immensely proud of what you have accomplished so far. We couldn't have had a better daughter than you!"

Valdis sniffled at her father's chest and he enfolded her closer still. "I am trying daddy, I just don't know if I am good enough."

Fain buried her face on his neck. "I wouldn't want you to be anything more than what you are right now! I love you to death!"

Valdis sobbed and nodded. "Me too dad! I love you so much!"

He rubbed her back firmly. "Why did you take the lies of your sister so seriously? This was just an idiocy."

"Idiocy is when a person doesn't know how to act any better. Karunn's words were aiming for heartache brother! That's malevolence." Dain intervened coldly. He hated seeing his niece and brother like that.

"A person in death row won't lie dad. She's going to die, what reason would she have to lie to me?" Valdis said and pulled back to see her father's dark eyes.

Fain inhaled sharply and a rush of terror took hold of his spine. "Death row!? What?" He whispered.

Valdis averted her eyes and wiped away the tears from her cheeks.

Fain looked at his brother, who didn't dare to meet his eyes. "Dain?"

He didn't reply.

Fain released Valdis hands and stood up. He looked at Thorin lost. "My King?"

Thorin pursed his lips.

Fain's face paled. "Karunn is on death row?"

Dain cupped his mouth and his fingers tightened until they grew white. He spat a curse in Khuzdul under his breath.

Thorin's lips turned down, but he squared his shoulders. "Yes."

"What did she do?" Fain's voice was diminished and his eyes were foggy. He approached the King with unsteady steps.

Thorin raised his brow. "Your older daughter unfortunately got involved in an series of events that weighed heavily upon many lives."

Fain reached Thorin and almost collapsed in his arms. He whispered with a shaky voice. "What is she accused off..."

Thorin nodded slowly. "Second degree murder, multiple attempts of murder and treason against the state."

Fain's face drained of all the blood and Thorin had to pull him in his arms in order to support him. "Heaven's help me..." he stuttered and his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

Valdis yelled in fear and sprang out of bed to help her father. Dain was quick to stop her and pulled her in his arms. "Remain out of this pumpkin. With me, you are with me!" He said and pulled her head on his chest and away from the distress of her father.

"I need to know everything, please tell me...Thorin...I cannot breathe...please..." Fain grasped Thorin's shoulders as he felt the world fading around him.

Thorin pulled Fain on him and gritted his teeth. "Steady, I have you."

Fain heaved as his weakened body found support upon his best friend and King. "Speak to me, what did she do?" he stammered defeated.

"You'll learn everything. Just keep on breathing...please." Thorin grasped Fain's nape and pulled him on his shoulder hard. He felt tears edging his eyes. He never wanted all this for Fain...never.

It took Fain a long time to manage to regulate his breaths under Thorin's support, but when he finally spoke his voice was barely heard. "I need to see her...let me see her."

Thorin looked up at Dain who reciprocated his burning stare. He swallowed heavily. "You will my brother...you will see her."

That is when Fain totally broke apart. Thorin tightened his arms firmly around his friend and squeezed his eyes tight. His jawline flexed and one single tear rolled down the bridge of his nose.

* * *

 

When Thorin felt safe enough to allow Fain some privacy with his family, without him collapsing he left. His hope lay on Valdis' embrace and Dain's love to ease a little the anguish of this pained father. He didn't try to search for Eilin, nor for his sister and nephew. He curled into himself as his own heart was bleeding from seeing Fain in such despair and knowing he was the one who was bestowing all that pain on him.

He decided to go down to the forging station in order to work on the cradle. If there was one thing that could soothe down his spirits, then this was the thought of his child. He remained down there for the reminder of the day, knowing that tomorrow he'd lead Fain to Karunn himself and that after that he had to explain everything, but above all that he was going to come face to face with Fain's need to protect Karunn.

The responsibility of leading his kingdom out of this darkness unscathed, felt at times overwhelming so he used his work to soothe down his mind. It was after the bell's first chime for the night that Thorin finally looked up from his work. He gazed thoughtfully at the cradle. The daisy that Eilin had ordered was adorning the headboard and the footboard had the Longbeard sigil on it. He run his hand on the smoothness of the wood and gave the cradle a small push to see if it was rocking as gently as he was wishing. It creaked slightly as it rocked from side to side and Thorin frowned down at it. He picked it up easily and flipped it over. He pushed at the joints of the smooth planks in order to find out where the creaking was coming from when a soft voice made him look up.

"Tell me I am not bothering you..." Eilin was standing there dressed in a royal blue dress that had a golden embroidery under her full breasts. The silky material that bore the royal sigil at it's hem outlined her ever growing bump very clearly. His eyes fell on the swelling of her breasts above her open cleavage. The diamond dove was trapped between the deep canyon between them and a stray rude thought rushed through his worried mind. Even though Eilin looked adorably pregnant and very sexy right now, what she had done stopped him from expressing his love to her. He felt a sudden urge to yell at her and then maybe kiss her to oblivion...and then maybe yell at her even more.

"You are not." He replied calmly and turned his attention back to the cradle.

Eilin walked inside and approached him carefully. "Why didn't you come home last night?" she whispered.

"I had a lot of work." He rebuked and picked up a screwdriver in order to tighten up some bolts.

"I got worried." She stippled her fingers under her bump.

"Won't say I am sorry," he said coldly. He knew that he was pushing her away with his attitude, but the need to make her understand the severity of what she had done was acute.

Tears pooled in her eyes. "I know you are angry at me...I know I did something irrevocably wrong...I know I betrayed your trust...I deceived you...I..." she stuttered.

His jawline gritted and so did his grip on the screwdriver. "I have all hell loose in my hands and I have to keep it all together! I needed your support damn it! Not you tripping me up!" he looked up sharply.

She closed her eyes and pressed her lips. Tears were running down her beautiful face and her bosom was shaking. "I am sorry Thorin, I beg you...I am so sorry...please forgive me..."

He gave her a cold stare and then looked back down at his work.

"Why won't you look at me?" she took a hesitant step closer to him.

"I just did," he rebuked stonily.

She reached the cradle and placed her trembling hand on it in order to draw his attention. "I messed up." She admitted.

"Seriously." He kept his eyes on the cradle.

She felt her eyes burning with fresh tears and her heart breaking. "Please look at me...I cannot handle your indifference."

He raised his burning stare and captured hers.

The intensity of his eyes made her wish to take back her previous plead. "I don't want you looking at me so angry."

"What do you wish me to do then? Look at you or not? Decide for heaven's sake!" He snapped and threw his screwdriver down irritated beyond belief.

She jerked back and he saw the first traces of fear in her green eyes. "What are you doing? Are you going to pounce on me now?"

He frowned and looked up at the dread in her eyes. "What are you talking about?"

She opened her mouth and her voice came out in broken inhalations of terror. "Are you this angry? Are you going to push me to the floor again?" she muttered and took another fearful step away from his suppressed fury. Her hand came protectively around her bump.

The realisation of what she just said emptied on him like a ton of boulders, rendering him speechless. He pushed himself up and tilted his head. Slowly the look of anger in his eyes dissipated, leaving a trail of confused pain. "Push you to the floor? Why would I do that?"

"You are mad at me right now, aren't you?" her bottom lip was trembling and so were her hands. He took a step forward, she took a step back.

"I am very pissed off!" He said sternly and reached out to her.

She cried and raised her hands to protect her face.

His fingers curled around her wrists and he lowered them gently away from her eyes. "What are you doing Eilin?"

"Last time you got mad at me you pushed me to the floor...Don't do it again please Thorin. Think of our child. I'll go away...I'll leave you alone." she whispered terrified.

He felt his heart being cut deep with the rapier of guilt and instantly all his anger about what Eilin had done behind his back dissolved into the ground. He pulled her into his arms fiercely and she immediately wrapped her hands tightly around his shoulders. "No...no no...you have this all wrong." He muttered.

She weeped gently onto his chest. "I am so sorry for what I did, please forgive me..I love you..." She murmured.

"I don't solve my disagreements through violence, Eilin. What happened back then was unforgivable of me and it shall never be repeated, please believe me!" He kissed the top of her curly hair and rubbed his cheek on them, feeling his skin breaking out in goosebumps from the realisation that their healing process still had a long way to go. There were many wounds still open in her and he had to find a way to heal them all, one by one. He still needed to convince her that the cruel side she had witnessed in him was never going to be turned towards her ever again.

She exhaled in partial relief and her lips offered him an affectionate kiss on his collarbone. "I am sorry, I am just afraid. When we argue, I am afraid that nightmare will be repeated."

His palms planed down her back soothingly. "Eilin we are a couple. We've sworn to share our lives correct?"

She nodded fiercely.

"Do you have the misconception that we shall never disappoint each other or that we will never argue?" he continued with a soft tone meant to calm her down.

"I know we will." She agreed sadly.

"Do you think that every argument of ours will end up with me becoming abusive towards you?" he frowned deeply.

She shook head head fiercely. "No...and maybe...I don't know Thorin."

He exhaled deeply and cupped the back of her head drawing her under his chin. "I shall not do anything to harm you ever again my love. I swear upon my life. I swore it back at the Shire, I will swear it as many times as you wish me."

Her shoulders relaxed and she released a trapped breath onto his neck. "Nevertheless you are still mad at me."

"Immensely." He said and tightened his arms around her.

"And you are hugging me?" she hesitated for a few moments.

"Won't let you out of my arms..." he nodded.

"Even though you are furious?" her small fingers crumbled up the material of his tunic and held him tightly.

"Even though I want to spank your bottom till it becomes red." His lips broke into a small up tilt.

"What?" her body tensed unexpectedly.

He tilted his head. "Might try that in a more intimate moment between us after you deliver...don't know."

She snorted. "Are you trying to make me smile?"

He kissed her temple. "I am channeling my anger and preparing you for future adventures..."

She bit her lower lip expectantly. "I don't know why that sounded enticing to me."

"I am still furious with you, so don't divert too much." His voice turned austere.

The small hope in her demeanour got lost quickly. "I know, I am sorry for what I did Thorin, please believe me. I never expected it to end the way it did. I only wanted to help Valdis not hurt her."

"What made you think that Karunn was going to treat her sister fairly, I wonder. Haven't you witnessed the venom in her already?" he said sternly.

"I acted upon my heart, but not with my mind. That was a huge mistake..." she whispered feeling defeated by her own mistakes.

"This woman is ruthless. You endangered Valdis' life by your irresponsible actions." He reprimanded her sternly, but his hands smoothed the soft fabric of her dress on her back and clutched her waist possessively. The language of his mind and that of his body were in total contrast.

"I know," she sniffled.

"You went behind my back," he continued.

She buried her face onto his chest.

"You ordered the guards to open the door with lies..." he frowned, but his embrace didn't slack.

"I am so sorry," she sniffled.

"Lies Eilin...behind my back..." he scolded.

A small sob rattled her pale exposed shoulders. "I know...I am so sorry."

"Didn't we say no lies between us?" his hand left her waist and cupped her cheek tenderly.

She shook her head eagerly. "Yes..."

"Not only did you lie to me, but also you acted against the state, because my decisions are ...the state." he rejoined relentlessly.

"Please...forgive me..." she mumbled and her fingers created tight balls out of the fabric of his tunic.

"Do you think I denied Valdis a meeting with Karunn just to piss her off?"

She shook her head. "No."

"No. I acted this way to protect the young Lady against a woman that is plain cruel. I acted on behalf of her uncle. You couldn't have known that, but you should have trusted me. I am not only your Thorin, Eilin...I am the King of Erebor, I am the King of the seven Kingdoms. Whatever decision I make has a valid reason behind it. It's not me acting on instinct or flowing with the wind. I don't work that way." He spoke softly, but there was a steely undertone in his voice that announced he was still angry at her.

"Your sister tried to explain to me." She muttered.

"And you didn't listen.." he shook his head.

"I was a fool..." she whispered and pulled his tunic, feeling mad at herself for failing him.

"Yes, you were a fool. Nonetheless, I cannot but admire your persistence in assisting your people." His tone turned thoughtful.

Her body tensed. "That's what I did yes." She pulled back and looked at his azure eyes.

"You acted like the Queen even though you lack the experience needed in order to do so. What happened this time was a great lesson for you and we are lucky it wasn't a lesson that cost another life to Karunn's malevolence." He raised his brow critically, but his fingers cleared up some wet hair that had been trapped between her lips by the tears that had soaked her face.

"I didn't want to see Valdis suffer so. I've seen enough suffering back at the tavern. I've suffered myself greatly and no one was there to help me through. I saw the pain of this girl and I wanted instinctively to help her. You told me to act like a Queen. Doesn't a Queen assist her people to the best of her ability?" she said quietly trying to clear up her tears now that she felt secure that Thorin had forgiven her, if only partially.

"It is, but in this case the best way to help Valdis was to keep her away from her sister." Thorin raised his brow.

"I know that now..." Eilin averted her eyes.

His forefinger and thumb pinched her chin and pulled her face up to him. "You exposed me irrevocably to my allies...to my friends."

Eilin felt her heart bleeding and buried her face onto his chest, wanting to hide from him. "I'll admit to my mistake. I'll take the burden away from you. You don't deserve to get burned for my stupidity."

He shook his head. "You shall do no such thing and you won't disobey me this time, alright?"

She frowned and looked up to him. "I need to be held accountable!" She sounded decided.

"You need to be given more chances in order to learn how to use the immense power that you now have, wisely. That will not happen by throwing you in the fire, Eilin. That will happen through cooperation with me. We are both in fault. I won't count who was more and who was less. You need to trust on the decisions of your husband and not expect an explanation each and every time. I will have to learn how to share with you more. Something that I don't know how to do, since I have not shared my life with a woman for ages." -he hesitated- "My relationship with Siv never reached the depths that our relationship has. I never divulged secrets of the state to her and besides I wasn't the King back then. I didn't have so many things on my mind. As you need more chances to learn how to control your power and to act wisely, so I need a chance to learn how to trust you more. How to speak to you about the troubles in my mind and how to share if not all, then at least partial information of what is occupying me. How does that sound to you?" He smiled down at her and cleared some sweaty curls from her temple.

She bit her lips. "Sounds..." -she closed her eyes and smiled- "immensely wise."

"Don't suck up," he warned her.

She snorted and kissed his collarbone.

He inhaled deeply. "We escaped a tragedy by a hair's inch."

She closed her eyes and her lips turned down. "I failed...both Valdis and you."

He caressed her jawline with his thumb and looked at her beautiful face thoughtfully. "You did, but remember nobody is born wise. You must fail in order to learn how to succeed."

She smiled sadly. "Thank you my love, for giving me another chance."

He shook his head. "Just don't work behind my back anymore. Talk things over with me and I will try to do the same."

"I tried to..!" -her eyes grew wide- "but you didn't listen."

"There is always a reason to my deafness. If I seem deaf, you stop bothering me with the issue at hand and accept that I know things you don't. There will be times when I will not be able to explain to you anything, because there will be other people involved that wish for secrecy. That is when you must trust me to deliver, okay?" he asked her with a gentle caress on her chin.

She nodded.

"There should be no embarrassment to admit that you failed to change my decisions from time to time."

Her lips turned down. "If my instincts tell me to do the opposite of what you command? What about then? Do I follow blindingly?"

He flicked his shoulders. "When it will come down to that we shall have to experiment."

She frowned. "More arguments?"

"Possibly more arguments, which will be solved as gently as this one. Is that okay with you?" he caressed the underside of her earlobe tenderly.

She exhaled hard. "More than okay."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Dain and Fain are like brothers to me. We grew up together, we shed our blood together against common enemies, we can die for each other. We are brothers in arms. You must understand that Fain's family is as important to me as he is. Karunn's situation is not easy on me, men gehyith. She's not a simple criminal whom I can execute without having to answer to anyone. I got her family on my back, and damn it...I love them! There are more things taking place behind closed doors, than you are aware."

Her hands sailed past his neck gently and cupped his nape lovingly. "I was not aware...I should have been wiser..."

"Now after everything that happened with Valdis, things have become even harder." Thorin said dourly.

"You mentioned executing Karunn..." Eilin shuddered.

He raised his brow.

"You said you were going to listen to my request for a pardon. Send her away in exile Thorin, please. She'll have to experience what it is like to live on your own, poor and kicked out of every abode. How it is to have no safety and float adrift with no purpose, hungry, abused and cold. Let her feel what I have felt my whole life, without the support of her family. Without the honour of her beard and long hair. Brand her...but don't kill her..." Eilin said solemnly.

"Eilin, naivety can be rather alluring on a simple tavern maiden, but it is a drawback on a Queen. Do you perchance have the misconception that Karunn's family will remain idle if I send her into exile? Don't you think they will try to sneak her back into their stronghold without my knowledge? No matter how much I love and trust Fain, I know the father in him will try to help her...and I cannot blame him." Thorin rebuked.

"I don't want your cruel side unleashed on anyone Thorin...I don't ever want to see it again...I don't want anyone to die because of us!" She said acutely.

"Not even someone who almost struggled you? Who almost killed our child?" His eyes were hard on her.

She paled and one hand released his nape in order to skim around the roundness of her belly that was being pressed between them. She swallowed heavily and remained silent for a very long time. "I am at a loss..." she whispered.

He tilted his head softly."Sometimes me too my love and it is not easy to admit defeat especially when everyone thinks that I have everything under control."

She smiled at him sadly. "It is an honour that you trust me enough to reveal such a thing."

"To reveal my weaknesses you mean..." he reciprocated her smile.

She frowned and caressed the hairpin at the side of his lips. "Yes." She whispered.

"It's because I trust you and I am making an effort. Now it's your turn to do the same. Show some trust in me." He raised his brows.

She closed her eyes and nodded. "I trust you with my life."

His lips turned into a lopsided smile. "Now can we give this a rest?"

She bit her bottom lip and grabbed his lapels. "I will beg you with all my heart not to allow her death to stain our family, that's all. Even though a side of me wants revenge, another doesn't want the Mountain King to ever come back. King Thorin would have never killed Karunn, would he? My Thorin wouldn't have taken her life, right?" she shook her head feeling overwhelmed.

He raised his brow and huffed. "You make me sound like some kind of an enlightened creature when I am clearly not one. Maybe you should search for those in Lothlórien. I have a lot of hatred in me against the people who harmed you. People who continue to harm you...and our family."

She pressed her lips and looked towards his neck with uncertainty. "Thorin...please...don't transform into a monster because of Karunn. Don't allow her to turn you into something you are not."

"I promise I won't," he said quietly.

She gave him a sad smile and rubbed her forehead. "Alright."

"Does that mean you are allowing me to take back control?" he teased.

She closed her eyes. "Allow you control?...Have I ever taken it off your hands?"

His head swept down until his lips drew softly upon hers. Her breath hitched and her nails pressed the soft skin of his nape. "This time you almost did. Don't ever go behind my back again..." he warned with a soft tone as his breath sailed past her parted lips and merged with hers.

"Never..." she exhaled and closed her eyes in delight as his mouth fondled hers in a kiss that started up gentle and caring only to becoming growingly demanding a few moments later. She gasped between the teases of his tongue and teeth and tried to press her chest onto his, but failed due to her belly.

He felt it and sorted, genially amused.

She pulled back and frowned at him. "That's unfair!"

He raised his brow and moved her belly sideways, then his hand pulled her in by the waist until her chest pressed against his and he felt his stomach twisting with the usual fiery longing. Her tongue came out to taste the soft ridges of his lips and her palm cupped his cheek when he opened up to allow her the chance to explore him at her own leisure. His hand moved up her ribs with the playful intentions to palm the fulness of her breast, but his mind made him pull back. He brought her face under his neck instead and swallowed heavily. "Getting out of hand again."

"I can offer pleasure, remember?" she whispered and nipped the shivers of excitement on his skin. Her hand came down and grasped his tightly. Then she led it to her breast which he cupped with an appreciative moan of pleasure. Just as her other hand released his cheek and slid down his tunic in order to feel him, he stopped her. She pouted her lips at him. "I want to earn my forgiveness..." she said coyly.

"You have earned it already. Now pull back young lady. You want to offer me something?" he raised his brow trying to calm down the fiery reaction of his body to her touch.

She nodded eagerly. "Sure!"

He sat down on his stool and beckoned her. She approached and stood in front of him. He grabbed her quickly, spun her around and sat her on his knees. She yelped and laughed. "What are we doing?!"

He picked up the screwdriver and looked at it with a critical eye. She was gazing at him above her shoulder. He reached up and clasped her hand, then he placed the screwdriver in it. "You will find out where that damn creaking is coming from and you will tighten up the bolts so you can make it stop, before it drives me insane."

"I'll help with Rianneye's cradle?" she beamed back to him.

He shook his head. "I wonder what will happen if the baby turns out a boy. Will you use a girl's name on him?" he directed her hand to hold the tool the correct way.

"What makes you so certain it's going to be a boy I wonder..." she muttered and frowned at the bolt.

His large hand encircled hers and showed her how to use it. "The same certainty you have that it's going to be a girl." He rejoined.

"I remember that name from a dream!" she rebuked and took out all her annoyance on the cradle.

"Careful, you don't want to scratch the wood..." he warned and she adjusted the screwdriver.

"Sorry." she said truly drawn in by the work he was making her do.

"Who told you I don't see dreams also then..." he raised his brow as he observed her heavy thick mane resting below her waist.

She looked above her shoulder. "You saw that I am giving birth to a boy in your dreams?"

He turned her around. "Concentrate on your work, my dreams are not worth talking about, besides we still don't know if they are twins. I might need to make another cradle. Now I remember you telling me that Rhiannon was amazing at fixing things around the tavern. How come you are so worthless?" he said quietly as he split her hair into three parts and began creating a long braid down her back.

She snorted at his obvious tease. "I was better at singing, drawing and plowing the lands, if you should know! Not to mention I was a pretty decent archer!"

"I can vouch for that. Cooking?" he raised his brow.

"I was better at cooking too! Why are you asking?" she said and finished with the bolt. She moved it around to listen for any unwanted sounds.

"I am trying to make sure I chose the best maiden..." he said with a voice that was rippling with playfulness.

She grumbled and turned back at him with a fearless gaze. "You didn't just say that!"

He tilted his head and gave her a lopsided smile. "You are messing up the braid."

"And you are messing up with me and I hate it." Her lips pouted.

"If that's the worst punishment you'll get from me today, then feel blessed." He chuckled.

"I love you." She whispered, feeling truly blessed that this misunderstanding had been cleared up without leaving any dark traces onto their fragile relationship.

"I love you too," he smiled at her.

Even though her mind was still burdened with Karunn's punishment she felt serene after the moment she decided not to intervene anymore in Thorin's decisions. Allowing him to do a job that he had been doing for one hundred and fifty years already, overflowed her with a much needed peace. She longed to focus on their family and not all this intrigue. He was more equipped to deal with these nefarious affairs. All she wanted at that moment was to believe that he had forgiven her, that he could trust her and that maybe she could help him fix the creaking on this cradle.

She wanted to do everything to support him, when he was the one supporting the very foundations of Erebor...


	62. Disillusioned

It was at the second chime of the golden bell that Thorin's eyes opened up slowly. He was turned towards the window and Eilin was spooning behind him, one of her arms was tossed around his stomach and one of her feet was buried under his calf. Her ever growing bump was pressing on the small of his back. He quietened down his breath as his eyes got lost in the small crack that was at the side of the maroon curtains waiting to feel again what woke him up. He felt the kick and tried not to snort in genial amusement. He bit his lower lip and closed his eyes tight praying that he'd feel it once more. The baby didn't disappoint and soon enough another sensation tickled his spine as one of the baby's appendages rolled inside it's mother's belly. Apparently even though Eilin was still in deep sleep, the baby in her had awoken up for good. Thorin turned around and looked at her above his shoulder. Her mouth was half open and she was snoring rather heavily. Her hair was messy and some saliva had rolled down the side of her mouth staining her pillow, yet to him she looked utterly adorable and breathtakingly irresistible. As the pregnancy progressed she was becoming tired more easily and she had trouble sleeping at night because the baby or babies were unusually active. Something that didn't worry either Loa or Dis, but messed up with Eilin's much needed rest. Therefore whenever she managed to get into such restful sleep, Thorin made it his business that no one would bother her. That didn't extend to the occupant in her belly though.

The baby's activity hadn't woken her up, so that meant that she was truly fatigued. Thorin turned around in bed slowly in order not to arouse her and rested his head on his forearm. His hand came down and traced around her belly trying to feel where the baby was when a rather strong foot kicked it's father's palm away. Thorin pulled back truly surprised and held his breath. He looked down and saw a form twisting and turning inside his woman and his body was overtaken both by feelings of apprehension and utter amazement. He remained immovable as his eyes turned searchingly at Eilin. She snored loudly and moved her head bothered. The baby was slowly waking her up. She stretched and then settled down as Thorin counted the moments for her breath to become heavy again. Then he slipped towards her belly and approached his mouth in order to give the rather large lump, a kiss. He smiled. "Can you please keep it down in there? She needs to sleep." The lump moved slowly and changed position. Was it truly a head or was it a butt that he had kissed? He raised his brows at that thought and observed the lump as it twisted and turned slowly at first. Then it suddenly threw a rather might kick, making poor Eilin wince and mumble something unintelligible in her sleep.

Thorin placed his large palm over it and caressed it gently. "Hey little man...calm down the ancient spirit in you. Your mother needs to rest..." he whispered right onto her belly. The lump took another turn or two and then as if listening to its father it seemed to settle down. He kissed her belly and began caressing it softly, but his mind didn't remain in the comfortable confinements of their chambers. It got involved with the tough decisions that he had ahead of him. Decisions that would satisfy some people and leave others in deep anguish. So many people had been wronged and needed to see justice served.

Thorin didn't hesitate to admit to himself, as he had admitted to Eilin last night that he was at a loss about Karunn's fate. His wife was pleading for him to spare her life, something that spoke to Thorin's heart deeply. He knew it took a lot more bravery to walk next to your enemies, than to eliminate them, but he didn't know if he was as brave as his wife on that front. He was also convinced that Eilin wouldn't be the only one pleading for Karunn's life. Fain would soon join in. As for Dain, he wouldn't back up from his decision to avenge and clear up the name of their family.

So there he was as always stuck in the middle, trying to balance everything. He remembered the wise words of his grandfather. When Thror told stories about the Kings of old to Thorin, they always ended up with the same words. "Great leaders have to take tough decisions and sometimes a hard and a just decision are one and the same."

Thorin was aware that the decision he had to take was not an easy one and that it would speak mostly about his ability to have a balanced rule, and less about the heinous crimes of Karunn. Sometimes he felt tired of everything and in need to remain in the arms of his woman, forgetting how demanding the world had always been with him. In his dreams he could allow someone else to take over those decisions and burden his soul with their aftermaths, but in reality he knew it was his shoulders that were going to bear all that weight, as always. As he was contemplating on everything he felt Eilin stirring under him and knew she was close to waking up from all that activity in her belly. He began humming a soft tune on her stomach and his deep tone left a resonance in the room that raised Eilin's hair in attention. "Hmmmm calm down young man."

She was already floating between sleep and alertness due to the merciless kicks in her belly, but Thorin's voice soothed her down instantly. She closed her eyes wanting to delight in the way he was talking to their baby, not wanting to stop him for any reason.

"Calm down and I promise I will take you to see Mirrormere again one day." He said in a hushed tone.

Eilin looked down at him quietly and felt her chest welling. Her hand came down and touched his shoulder. He looked up sharply and then touched his forehead to her belly. "Did he wake you up?"

She smiled sweetly. "I cannot get over how certain you are that it's a boy..."

Thorin scrounged his lips and flicked his shoulders. "Instincts?" He lied.

Her eyes smiled down at him and she twisted her finger around his warrior braid. "You speaking to our baby is the most precious thing..."

He huffed. "I was telling him to calm down...he's too active."

Eilin stretched. "I don't mind. I know that they are healthy in there."

"He is not allowing you to have any rest. You look absolutely spent." He was seriously worried about the dark circles under her eyes.

"I'd like to see the magical lake the song is talking about also." Eilin whispered.

"It lays on the east-gate of Khazad-dûm and it's still waters mirror the stars on a clear night." He said softly.

"Have you ever seen it?" She searched his face.

"I fought for it. My whole family died for it and everything back then was buried under the clouds of a most bloody war. We didn't manage to reclaim it, only to decapitate our family. The Dwarrowdelf has been secured from the outside world for ages. It is overtaken by orcs that came down from the north and was given the name Moria after that. Durin's bane still resides in there, covering these ancient halls with it's malevolence."

"Moria?" she frowned.

"The pit...it's empty of our legacy. I don't want to visit the lake now and come face to face with those sealed doors for my skin will crawl. There will come a time later when I might decide to come for it again." His voice fell.

"Would you ever wage war in order to reclaim it?" her brows twisted worriedly.

"In a heartbeat if I knew we had a chance of defeating them. That's not reality now. Erebor needs to recruit. It needs to strengthen and take up roots. If I wage war in Moria I will spread death to all these families that came here for a new beginning. There is always a time for everything. The time now is for peace, not anymore wars." He rejoined thoughtfully.

"I am so happy I heard that. I cannot fathom you going away into battle, especially now that I am pregnant Thorin." Her brows creased with uncertainty.

He smiled upon her belly, but the baby moved again and made her wince in pain. She stretched and grabbed her back with a hiss. "Oh, heavens...I am going to have a really hard time later on."

"Do you want me to rub your back?" He asked worried.

She nodded and turned around showing him where it hurt the most. "Yes, please. It is killing me..." she murmured. Her hand reached and grabbed his, leading it to her waist.

He pushed with his strong fingers and mauled her spine. "Here?"

She moaned and arched against him. "Oh, yes right there...oh...that's heavenly...please don't stop..." She exhaled and closed her eyes.

He massaged her gently for a long time, listening to her deep exhalations of relief until finally her breath became heavy again. Then he laid down and rested his hand on her belly, instinctively searching for that small lump. When he found it, it stirred under him for a moment before settling down again. He exhaled on her nape and picked up her hair setting them on the pillow above her head to keep her from sweating too much.

"Sleep...I will stand guard," he reassured her. Her fingers squeezed his wrist once before her breathing declared that she was drawn deep into the world of dreams once more. Thorin allowed her to snuggle into his arms and sleep quietly for a long time, but sleep didn't come easily for him. When he felt his left side numb and suffering from staying still for so long he withdrew his arm gently. She stirred for a moment and then settled down allowing him to get out of bed and visit the bathroom. He changed clothes and with one last look to her, he closed the door behind him. The moment he came out the guards at the flanks of his doors presented arms.

"No one bothers the Queen on pain of death," he told them sternly.

They started presenting arms again and he reached out and grabbed their war axes keeping them aloft. "And that includes you! Keep it down for heaven's sake!" he hissed at them.

The guards looked at each other fearfully and then at the King. When he released their axes they presented arms as silently as possible. Something that would have been entertaining for him at any other time, at that moment only served to piss him off.

As the King left the guards gave each other another careful look and then crisscrossed their weapons in front of the royal doors.

* * *

Thorin walked around his Kingdom for a long time. He went to overlook some restorations in one of the eastern common caverns, he visited the bolted up mining drift that held behind it the famous by now, Mithril vein. He made a sudden appearance in the barracks and took everyone by surprise when he commanded them sternly to perform their battle formations. In the end when he was satisfied that everything was running smoothly he got ready to return to his office, but instead his footsteps led him in front of his throne. He remained there looking thoughtfully up at the Arkenstone and the place held an eerie silence. No ghosts were standing at the flanks of the throne judging his decisions this time and he felt the unexpected urge to take a seat in it. He approached and remained immovable for several deliberate moments before he finally took the leap of faith. When he sat on it, he expected to feel like he was on top of burning coals, but slowly realised that these were nothing more than games his mind was playing and not reality. The Seven had accepted him as their King. His rule was indisputable not only in Erebor, but in every single Dwarven city of Middle Earth. Why should this throne scare him so much when it was completely under his control? With that thought he leaned back and rested his elbow on the arm of the throne. He remained there buried into deep thoughts, partly enjoying how quiet it was, until Balin's happy voice broke through his contemplations.

"A most unexpected surprise!" His advisor came before him and bowed deeply. "Your majesty."

Thorin cringed. "Can you just drop it?"

Balin's eyes opened up shocked. "Of course I cannot! Seeing you sit on what was always rightfully yours can only bring tears to my eyes and a renewed fervour to protect your rule! You are an extraordinary ruler whom I've had the honour of following for many years and I hope Mahal shall bless me to follow you until I close my eyes!"

Thorin exhaled and observed his advisor closely. "It's too early to become this emotional. What are you doing awake at this hour?"

"Fili was supposed to train with the royal guards, bu the was not in a good condition. He asked Dwalin's help as he was trying to recover from a rather vicious hangover. I woke up with them as my head is pounding also." Balin sounded rueful.

"Hangover?" Thorin's lips twisted up into a smile.

"Drinking competition between him, me, Gloin, Dori, Oin, Durar and Bjarki." Balin flicked his shoulders.

"Who won?" Thorin couldn't help the question.

"Me of course!" Balin grinned proudly.

Thorin shook his head. "You bloody troll..."

"Jealous your majesty?" Balin looked at him teasingly.

"Not really..." -he hesitated- "I mean ...I don't know."

"Next time you'll join us. Being a husband and a father shouldn't stop you from having fun with some friends every now and again, right?" Balin looked at him sweetly.

"I suppose not...no." Thorin's smile didn't feel so certain.

"So what woke you up this early then?" Balin crossed his arms.

"My child..." Thorin's brows lifted up simultaneously at the realisation of what he just said.

Balin laughed. "Oh, the burdens of fatherhood are already falling heavy on you, aren't they?"

Thorin nodded feeling exhausted. "They are."

"And the child is not even born yet. Wait...it's going to become even worse. I predict both you and Eilin will have dark circles under your eyes by the end of this year!" Balin smirked.

"Still I wouldn't change this for the world," Thorin's countenance cracked slightly.

Balin's smile faded. "i know laddie."

Thorin remained silent.

"Tell me, can I do anything for you? Did you have any breakfast?" Balin said intent on pleasing his friend.

"No, no breakfast, but maybe there is something you can do indeed." Thorin threw his tense gaze at his advisor.

"Anything laddie..." Balin rejoined eagerly.

Thorin scrounged his lips pensively and remained silent for several moments. When he finally spoke his voice was deeply calculative. "The three thieves that were caught sniffing around Mirkwood..."

"Yes?" Balin crossed his arms.

"What's their condition?" Thorin frowned.

"They are ready to kill each other. Been passing around the blame about their imprisonment. I'd say spirits are highly tense down there." Balin tilted his head.

Thorin raised his brow. "Has Rhiannon recognised her attacker?"

Balin scrounged his lips. "Attackers. One is the brother of the leader apparently and the other one his cousin."

Thorin leaned back and caressed his bearded chin thoughtfully. "Execute the ones Rhiannon recognised in front of their leader."

Balin sighed. "Very well. The leader, won't we execute him also?"

"No, release him in the forest of the River Running and put two guards on his tail. They are to make sure he remains in the vicinity of our forest and he doesn't try to escape. Call me one of those guards up here now, I want to have a word with him." Thorin rejoined and his eyes were ruminative.

"Release him? Why the hell do you wish to release that filth in our forest?" Balin seemed socked.

"Just as a small backup..." Thorin raised his brow.

"A backup? You are making no sense laddie." Balin exhaled annoyed through his nose.

"I don't have to make sense. Now take care of it." Thorin said dismissively and leaned his head back pensively.

Balin bowed feeling more and more confused by Thorin's unexpected orders. "On it immediately."

* * *

By early afternoon the door of Thorin's office began knocking insistently. He looked up from some engineering maps he was studying about the mine shaft that held in it's bowels the Mithril vein. Gloin who was leaning above the maps with the King looked up sharply.

"Aren't you going to answer?" he asked.

"If it isn't important they'll give up after a few knocks. I really want us to discuss the possibilities of this tunnel." Thorin gazed down, deeply absorbed by the schematics on the map. Gloin turned his attention onto the map also, while the knocking stopped. Just as the men were getting concentrated on their discussion the knocks resumed and this time a voice accompanied them.

"Tell me you are in there for Mahal's sake and that you are ignoring us on purpose!" Dain grumbled.

Thorin looked at Gloin with a cringe of regret. "I need to take this one. Can you handle the maps alone?"

Gloin rolled them up quickly. "I have everything don't worry!"

The door opened up rather violently and Dain entered in a whirlwind of urgency, but Fain bypassed his brother quickly and rushed in front of Thorin's office. His eyes were bloodshot and pouring with tears. "Karunn told me...Mahal should have made me deaf before I encountered her confession about what happened my Lord, my King, my captain! Please please...help me...help my family, I beseech you!" Fain stammered.

Thorin turned at Gloin. "Please go."

Gloin bowed sharply and closed the door quietly behind him.

Thorin stood up and rounded the desk. He looked at Dain. "Why didn't you wait for me before going to Karunn?"

Dain crossed his arms. "Been searching for you ever since the break of dawn. I couldn't hold him...understand me."

Thorin gave him a soft nod. "I understand" -then he turned towards Fain- "Do you need to take a seat?"

Fain's knees unlocked and he fell to the ground. He bowed his head to Thorin's carpet. "Karunn told me everything...may the demon of Morgoth take my soul! She told me what she did to the royal family!"

Thorin came down to one knee next to Fain and touched his shaking back. "Can you please stand up?" he asked trying to keep his own emotions in check from seeing his friend this broken.

Fain shook his head fiercely. "No, never! I will crawl at your feet till the end of my days just to beg you to give her another chance! To give my family another chance!"

Thorin's eyes crossed Dain's and a sharp negation came from his strict cousin. He swallowed heavily.

"Fain, ultimate treason against the state must be taken to a trial." Thorin said.

Fain looked up with wild eyes full of terror. "A trial...oh Mahal...Dain...the name of our family...I am so sorry...please forgive me!" he looked back at Dain in despair.

"Your brother did the best he could to protect your family name and Valdis." Thorin stood up and leaned back to his desk.

"I know he wanted to protect me, but how can anyone protect a parent who has been failed by his own child? By his own flesh and blood! It's her mother...she was too lenient...gave her too many prerogatives..." -Fain began a pained monologue- "No, it wasn't only her mother, it was me also because I allowed all this to unfold behind my back. I created a monster and I understood how many mistakes I've made only when Valdis was born. That is why I decided to act differently with my youngest daughter. I took her away from my wife's influence early on. I tried harder on her...I tried."

Thorin nodded. "You have succeeded in Lady Valdis."

A shudder ran down Fain's back and it was clearly visible. "But I failed with Karunn and now look at us...Thorin...what is the worst fate for her after this trial?" His voice shook hard as did his body.

Thorin didn't hesitate. "Death by public execution."

Fain cried and grasped the stones at the floor for support. "NOOOOO!" he bellowed.

Dain broke apart then on seeing his beloved brother so pained. He rushed and took him in his arms. "Please don't...this is going to kill you..."

Thorin felt his heart torn apart by the anguish of this father and tried to push away the thoughts of his impending fatherhood.

"I can't breathe Dain...they are going to kill her. I don't know if I failed her or if she failed me!" Fain clutched onto the arms of his brother. He felt forlorn. "I don't know whom I wish to kill more. Myself or Kaia!"

Dain gritted his teeth. "You must sustain through this trial brother!"

Fain shook his head in agony and forced himself to look up at Thorin. "What is the best scenario from this trial my Lord?"

"Judging by how many witnesses are willing to testify against her, I'd say only death." Thorin responded quietly.

Fain squeezed his eyes tight. "Can't you fix this? I beg you! Don't allow the witnesses to come forth. Give her a chance to live in exile...please!"

Thorin's lips pressed tightly. "That cannot be done forgive me. I will not lie about the dire situation that befell not only the royal family, but so many others because of your oldest daughter's actions. Neither will I be lenient to her."

Fain sobbed and leaned his head onto Dain's shoulder who gritted his teeth.

"Karunn's scheming almost cost me the life of the Queen and my unborn child..." Thorin's back crawled.

Fain tore away from his brother and grasped Thorin's thighs. "She's inexcusable, but please find it in your heart to allow her to live! In exile, branded and shaved, but don't kill her. I will not try to excuse her actions for they were vile and evil, but hear the woe of a father who is seeing his child being led to the gallows pole. Please please...allow her to live and I promise on my word of honour she will never come near your or your family ever again! Please!" He beseeched.

Thorin clasped Fain's shoulders and felt the strong shudders that were rushing through his body. "You wish for a Royal prerogative of mercy?"

Fain looked up in anguish. "Yes. I offer my life in the stead of hers. Allow her to live away from Erebor...and I shall die for her crimes!" His face was tearstained and his blue lips were trembling.

Thorin shook his head. "You want me to ignore all the people that came to danger from her and bury this under the carpet." He didn't want to hide behind words.

Fain hesitated long and hard before nodding. "You are going to be a father soon. Only then shall you understand the pain that shreds my heart apart at this moment! I learned what she did and if I could I would have killed her myself, but she's my child! My own flesh and blood! I don't want her to die. I will do everything I can to see her alive!" he whispered.

Thorin's nape crawled with fury and he stood up sharply. "Don't tell me that I need to witness the birth of my child in order to understand how a father feels! I raised my siblings and my nephews from mere babies. The father in me had always been alive!" His voice dropped low.

Fain covered his face and weeped. Dain looked up at Thorin with eyes that spoke volumes. They held each other's heavy gaze for several moments before Thorin leaned on his desk again feeling waisted by the psychological pressure Fain was putting on him.

"I cannot let my daughter die..." -Fain muttered- "You may have raised all these children, but you haven't felt the life of your flesh and blood slipping through your fingers."

Dain gritted his teeth. "How about the little pumpkin then? She did nothing wrong. She's just a victim in this and she needs you in her life..."

Fain looked at his brother totally devastated. "My beloved little girl."

Dain's pale lips cracked a bitter smile. "The one you raised exactly as you wanted. The one that is making you proud right now..."

Fain nodded and grasped Dain's shoulders. "I want to be alive for my youngest daughter..."

"Then allow the law to judge the despicable deeds of your oldest daughter and give a clean name to Lady Valdis for the future," Thorin said meaningfully. Dain looked at him knowing that he meant Prince Fili.

Fain trembled as he cradled himself in front of Thorin's feet for several silent moments. When he spoke his voice was barely heard. "Please release her...I will make sure she disappears. Give her judgement to me..."

"Do I have such a power perchance?" Thorin looked at the fireplace reflectively.

"Don't you? You can release her right at this moment..." Fain looked up with a faint glimmer of hope.

"You are not the first one to ask me of this..." Thorin whispered with a frown.

Dain looked up sharply.

"Nevertheless you must understand that I am not the only one Karunn has to answer to. She's wronged many people and it is my job to see justice served to her. A simple branding and allowing her to ran loose in the wild is not enough punishment for everything she did. Don't I know you Fain, perchance?" Thorin tilted his head.

Fain paled.

"You are honourable and courageous beyond count, yet you are weak when it comes to your children." Thorin continued.

"Something you cannot judge before holding your own children in your hands! Don't be so rush to serve me such judgment, for it may befall on your head in the future Thorin, please...!" Fain's voice was broken.

"And so it might. If a time comes for me to face such heinous deliberations then I might possibly fail. I am not omnipotent Fain. I will probably beg for my children's lives to be spared, much like you, much like any father. Nevertheless I won't expect the one who was wronged to hear my pleads." Thorin's face fell.

Fain's shoulders slouched, but he remained silent.

"I cannot pretend I am without blemish Fain. I might fail my children like you have failed yours. That only remains to be seen. Right now though I am required to serve justice to a woman that spread death and destruction not only to the royal family, but to many others."

Dain shook his head discreetly and Thorin frowned.

Fain shook to the core as he looked up lost "Maybe if I talked to them...if I prayed at their feet..."

Dain stood up sharply. "No! That's...enough! Stop this Thorin I beseech you!" he cried and Thorin saw the tears edging the eyes of this powerful warrior.

Thorin looked down at Fain. "If Karunn's judgement gets out of my hands, it will befall into the hands of others."

Fain shook his head. "Let it befall on other hands, since no other hand is mightier and heavier than yours."

"Hands over whom I will have no control," Thorin's voice warned.

"You control the seven Dwarven Kingdoms. There is no one out of your reach Thorin!" Fain frowned.

"I didn't say that I cannot control, I said I will not control." Thorin raised his brow.

Fain hesitated. "Cannot you protect her from them?"

"If I decide against taking her to trial I will not release her without having her face those whom she has wronged. I am just one person, there are many others hurt that demand justice." Thorin rejoined.

"Others you can eliminate..." Fain twisted his fingers with wide eyes full of hope. "You can still save her."

"Other I will not eliminate. On that I insist," Thorin said sternly.

Fain rubbed his beard trying to think how he could slither his daughter out of this impossibly tight spot. "Alright. Let her face those whom she has wronged, just please remove the impossible burden of your mighty hand from her."

Thorin leaned back thoughtfully. "Give me time to think."

Fain's fingers trembled as he clutched Thorin's forearm. "Please...I'll do anything for you. I'll give you my life...spare her!"

Thorin took firm hold of Fain's shaking shoulders and pulled him in a warm embrace. "Do me a favour. Go and stay with your younger daughter who needs you so much and allow me the time to recollect all that you've told me. When a decision is reached I will inform you."

Fain looked back at his brother fearfully and then drew in and kissed Thorin's hand with fervour. "Thank you...thank you...may Mahal bless the child in the Queen's womb...thank you...thank you."

Thorin shook his head. "I am not holding your daughter's pardon in my hands yet, so don't thank me."

Fain looked at the King in misery until Dain wrapped his arm under Fain's shoulder and supported him to the door. They exchanged a few words and Dain closed the door behind him. He leaned on it and looked at Thorin debilitated.

"He doesn't know the whole truth." He muttered.

"I figured as much." Thorin walked to the armchair by the fire and emptied himself in it.

"He doesn't know she manipulated my little pumpkin to a suicide attempt, or that she went to bed with a married man back in the Ironhills behind everyone's back. He is not in the mental state to even question where Nyrthrasir comes into this and what his daughter had to do with him. He is seriously suspicious that the cuts on Valdis' wrists were not created because she played with a couple of knives. He's recognised that this resembles a suicide attempt but he's either unwilling to believe it, or he simply cannot handle it right now on top of Karunn's nefarious affairs. He's going to break down completely in the end." Dain approached the fireplace and leaned his elbow on the mantelpiece.

"He will come around in the end. He will ask more questions, both about Valdis' wounds and about Nyrthrasir. What are you going to do then? Continue with the fairytales?" Thorin raised his brow.

"I don't know Thorin honestly. You saw how broken he is now. If what he already knows doesn't kill him, then finding out that his daughter acted like a whore with a married man, that she killed indirectly an unborn child and that she endangered her baby sister will!"

Thorin steepled his fingers reflectively and looked at the flames.

"I failed him. I tried to protect him, didn't I?" Dain's eyes closed tiredly.

"You did..." Thorin agreed.

"I tried to protect my little pumpkin but failed also..." the tone of regret in his voice was heavy.

"How can anyone hide the hell that this woman created? It's impossible Dain, you are asking too much out of yourself." Thorin said quietly.

"I know. Karunn woke up too many nightmares, but I was desperate to keep my family from falling apart. I wasn't able to do it..." Dain rubbed his eyes.

"Karunn tried to strangle my wife a few days ago...I had her in my hands and felt her heartbeat under my fingertips. She's lucky to be alive and your brother lucky not to be aware of the full extend of her evil mind." Thorin rejoined with a tone that dropped several octaves as another wave of wrath sailed down his back at that memory.

Dain looked up sharply and his eyes pooled with tears. "Justice must be served and you are the only one able to do it! Don't listen to my brother please. She's a menace...a fiend who destroyed the name of my family and almost killed your family! I hate having to beg for the death of my own niece, but I am not blinded like my brother. I can see her vileness and I fear it. She tried to kill the Queen...she tried to kill my little niece, my beloved girl. How will my poor pumpkin stand proudly next to Prince Fili with such a sister Thorin? Tell me that...This is going to break not only Fain, but Valdis." Dain's voice began elevating. "You not only need to protect your own family, but mine also. Fain cannot see how dangerous Karunn is...he's too blinded by the pain he feels for his children."

Thorin sighed deeply.

Dain hesitated when he saw the King unresponsive. "You said Fain's request for a pardon wasn't the only one. Who else asked you to spare her?"

"My wife," came the hard response and Dain froze.

"Oh heavens..." Dain cupped his mouth and tears rolled over his fingers.

Thorin inclined his head. "You think you failed your family. I fear I shall fail mine too..." he whispered eerily.

Dain swallowed heavily and his jawline flexed. "What will your decision be then?"

Thorin gazed at him quietly for several moments and then looked back into the fire. "I don't know yet cousin. Give him me time to think."

Dain approached and grasped Thorin's forearm. The King's brooding eyes engaged Dain's and their hands tightened around each other's arms. Dain inclined his head and feeling totally heartbroken he left to go see his brother and younger niece. Thorin remained quietly absorbed by the intricate patterns of the fire licking up through the wood for a long time.

* * *

When the door opened up again it was Dis' tired eyes that made their appearance at the crack. "Hi wolf."

He looked at her for a moment, feeling lost in deep thought. "Hi gerbil."

"You in the mood for a visit?" she cracked a smile.

His lips curled up softly. "Not sure."

Dis came in and sat on the armchair next to his. She extended her hands in order to warm them up at the fire. "You look dreadfully worn out."

He humphed. "I am."

Dis remained quiet.

"Eilin was right..." he left the thought float untouched between them.

Dis frowned. "Whatever for?"

"We shouldn't have left the Shire." He said reflectively.

Dis pursed her lips. "No matter your need to hide from the world I know how responsible you are wolf. You wouldn't have allowed Fili to get dragged down by this hell."

Thorin sighed. "I feel sucked again...into a vortex I never asked for."

"If you mean that damned situation with Karunn then I see no vortex anywhere. If you mean your rule...everything has been sorted out the moment you returned. The riots immediately seized and peace rules. Everyone is working happily for a bright future here in Erebor under your Kingship. All your alliances stand strong and your rule is stronger than ever in Middle Earth. You are holding the seven Dwarven families in the hollow of your palm. I see no other vortex than this damned woman, who should have been eliminated several moons ago."

"You don't take into consideration how many times I've been tripped up." Thorin raised his brow.

"Your wife made several serious mistakes in this affair." Dis pursed her lips.

"She has such a loving and soft heart..." his forehead creased with worry.

"Which almost killed her...who told you to take your wife's requests so seriously? Did Thrain take mom's guilt trips seriously on matters of state perchance? Tell Eilin to forget the whole deal and execute that damned bitch! Rid us all of the trouble!"

"Her father begs for lenience. He wants a royal pardon..." Thorin continued.

"Which I hope you won't give. That blood bitch almost strangled my sister in law!" Dis snapped.

"Valdis required her own closure..." Thorin rejoined unfazed.

"Which almost killed her too..." Dis gritted her teeth. He looked at her coldly and she raised her hand. "Okay, I get it. You have all these people around you, pestering you with their own view of this affair and how it's supposed to be handled, but the final decision is up to you Thorin. Clear up the name of our family. Protect your wife. Do you trust her alive while your child roams the lands free? I don't and neither does my poor son who is now afraid about Valdis' health and safety. I had a talk with Fili and he wants Karunn dead also. He doesn't want her to come close to his beloved again...no matter how much I hate calling this girl a beloved of my son, I cannot deny that Fili is right." Dis sat back and crossed her arms.

Thorin's brows wavered with indecision. "My boy is afraid for Valdis' life?"

Dis looked at him long and hard. "After what happened what did you expect him? He's bloody terrified and I've never seen Fili terrified of anything in his life. You know how courageous and brave he always was. This woman has managed to break him also. He cares for this woman deeply and I care for him. Thorin too many people are affected by this, not just you or Eilin."

"Eilin asked me to spare Karunn." Thorin crossed his arms and looked at the fire.

The silence from Dis fell heavy. "Bloody idiotic girl..." she hissed after a moment.

"Silence your mouth!" Thorin's voice dropped in a curt warning.

Dis bit her lower lip. "Karunn almost killed her. Hadn't your arrival been so timely, Eilin would have been dead now as well as that precious child in her loins. Eilin is not thinking clearly."

"I understand her." Thorin said quietly.

"What?!" Dis frowned in total shock.

"It takes more courage to spare a life than to take one gerbil.* Eilin is braver than any of us who want to eliminate Karunn. She's brave enough to want to spare the life of this filth and walk this earth alongside her sworn enemies." he spoke reflectively.

"Karunn damaged too many people. Eilin is too soft hearted, too good willed, too kind spirited for the evilness of Karunn. She doesn't comprehend the magnitude of this even though she almost died by her several times over. You see the bravery in Eilin, I see a wounded child who doesn't want to hurt a fly." Dis tried to put things into perspective for him.

Thorin didn't reply.

"Eilin has been hurt so many times in the past. She's lived through hell. She still is a soft hearted child who doesn't want to see anyone hurt, not even her enemies. That doesn't mean that her view of things is clear and must be taken into consideration. She's speaking from a place of deep wounds that still need healing. Heal them for her, but not by sparing the life of a woman that destroyed so many of us." Dis reached out and grasped his hand.

Thorin looked up heavily.

"You don't have only one child in your hands...you don't even have two in case they are twins. You have three..." Dis' eyes became pained.

Thorin's brows wavered and his lips parted.

"Eilin is another child you have in your possession wether you like it or not. A child that needs guidance at times." Dis gave him a tender nod and her eyes filled with tears.

He averted his eyes to the fire.

"You know that's true. When she took Valdis to see Karunn it was not the Queen acting through her as it had been in the case of the Arkenstone, but a hurt child that didn't want to see anyone else equally hurt. Eilin is deeply empathetic, exactly because she has grown up shrouded in misery." Dis continued carefully.

Thorin's lips pursed critically.

"The Queen in her got overtaken by the hurt child that wanted desperately to comfort Valdis without stopping to think of the consequences. I hope you didn't yell at her much for that. It would have been like yelling to a child for falling into a lake to rescue the toy of their best friend." Dis' lips broke into a sad smile.

"I didn't yell at her..." Thorin said defeated.

Dis leaned back. "Yes, didn't think so. She was all happy and bright when Loa was trying to check her belly this morning for the twins."

Thorin sat up and leaned his elbows at his knees. The memory of Galadriel's mirror that had showed him not only his son, but also a beautiful young woman returned. He remembered also Eilin's certainty that she was carrying a girl. "And?" he asked eagerly.

Dis smiled at the innocence of his face when he inquired about his children. She remembered her own husband and how he had reacted at her pregnancy with Fili and her eyes turned wistful. "She has a difficulty tracing them, but there is a possibility a second one is hiding somewhere close to Eilin's spine." -At that Thorin cringed and felt a shudder sailing down his back. Dis laughed. "My brother, the mightiest warrior of the seven Kingdoms is freaking out over a description of his wife's insides ..."

"Just drop it. You said there was a possibility a baby is hiding..." he gave her an eager nod to continue.

"Oh, yes maybe it's hiding behind the large baby that's taking up most of Eilin's belly. That one is huge apparently, but Loa cannot be certain yet of a second one. We have to wait." Dis flicked her shoulders.

"Huge?" Thorin's demeanour took a plunge.

"Eilin will have her hands full upon delivery. It won't be easy..." Dis cringed.

He cupped his chin and caressed his beard thoughtfully.

"She'll do just fine, don't worry. Mom was in labour three days in order to manage to push you out. You were massive!" Dis said truly amused by his adorable worry.

He waved her away feeling rather annoyed. "Mother was much sturdier than my poor woman. Eilin is so fragile...so dainty..."

Dis cupped his knee. "She's a woman. Her body is meant to create life and deliver it. I'll be there with her, don't worry. She's going to do brilliantly."

"Women die in delivery Dis..." his voice dropped and his eyes gleamed with dread.

"She's not going to die...Oh come on! Don't get into another nightmare fuelled trip until Eilin comes into labour please. It won't do the poor woman any good for you to be on edge for the duration of her pregnancy. She's already having many aches throughout her body and she still has about three or more moons to grow. Erase that terrified look from your eyes and trust in me, Loa and all the other midwives to do our job properly okay?" Dis tried to reassure him.

He swallowed heavily and looked at his hands. "I will try."

She sighed deeply. "We strayed from the subject quite extensively..." she mentioned carefully.

He shook his head. "Good..."

Dis pursed her lips, not wanting to give her brother too much slack. "Don't allow Eilin's childlike kindness and Fain's parental instincts stop you from doing what had to be done a long time ago please."

His face fell and lost all the brightness it had gained when they were talking about Eilin's pregnancy. "I have to think...Dis allow me some peace and quiet." His gaze became absorbed by the fire once more. Dis stood up and before leaving she gave him a wholehearted embrace that he reciprocated.

"Don't stay buried up here too long. Go to your wife and offer her some comfort." Dis said softly.

"I will," she squeezed her forearm.

"Whatever you decide, put Eilin's safety first. Your child's second and third if you can put the safety of my possible daughter in law." Dis said with obvious hesitation on the last part.

Thorin looked at her with a lopsided smile. "You are slowly coming to terms with Fili's choice?"

"I lost one son to war. I am scared I will lose the other one to love. If he wants her I won't stand in his way." Dis wiped the few tears that escaped her eyes quickly.

"I am proud of you gerbil," he said softly and cuddled her warmly for several moments before she pulled away.

"I am off to prepare a treatment for Eilin's back pains. I'll leave it in your rooms. Use it on her whenever she has difficulties. I have a feelings she's going to have strong back labour when the time comes." Dis frowned.

"What the hell is that now?" he looked at her confused.

"If the baby is facing up it will cause a lot of discomfort in Eilin's tailbone. Back labours are much more painful than normal contractions. I've had back labour with Kili. I cursed my poor husband to the fires of Mount Doom during delivery." Dis snorted at the memory.

"You are not making me calm down.." Thorin frowned deeply at her.

She caressed his bearded chin playfully. "All will be well. Trust us women to do what we were born to do."

When she closed the door behind her, he pursed his lips. "Right..." he mumbled and then decided to dig out one of the untouched bottles of mead he had left in his office during his debilitating state after his separation from Eilin and drink some in order to calm down from his talk with Dis. Now not only was he truly bothered by the difficult position he was in with Karunn, he was also beginning to have tendrils of apprehension licking up his spine about Eilin's pregnancy and the delivery of their child. He remembered when he told her how ready he was to take on fatherhood back at the Shire. He cringed at the stupidity of that statement because only now was he beginning to feel the immensity of it all. It took him half a bottle of mead to return to Eilin in order to pass their time walking quietly by the River Running as the stars made their appearance in the sky. Now that the weather was milder she enjoyed their long walks and he always made sure he had time for her.

* * *

It took Thorin two days of heavy deliberation to reach a decision and during that time he avoided talking with Fain, Dain or Eilin about this affair. He didn't visit any of the prisoners and he didn't read any of the Laws of the Elders. He already knew everything he needed to know. When he was finally ready he called Dwalin.

"You called me?" his friend crossed his arms imposingly.

Thorin's eyes were emanating a twilight Dwalin hadn't seen since the King's abdication. "Karunn is to be moved in the morning with a safe carriage."

Dwalin crossed his arms. "Where to?"

"The training grounds." Thorin rejoined.

"Very well." Dwalin bowed and made ready to leave when Thorin stopped him.

"Prepare to move one more prisoner at the same time and use a different carriage." Thorin's eyes thinned slyly.

Dwalin frowned deeply. "Who?"

Thorin raised his brow and looked thoughtfully at the valley beneath him from his beloved top rampart, as the sun was setting behind Ravenhill.

He remained silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Small easter egg for anyone who might recognise it. Not my words.


	63. Run away from the nightmares

Eilin's eyes cracked open and gazed at the darkness behind the drawn curtains. What time was it? She removed her eyes from the window and looked in front of the fireplace where Thorin was standing all dressed up, quiet and thoughtful. His elbow was resting on the mantelpiece and a pipe was hanging from his lips that was not lit yet. Something was not quite right. At this hour he was always asleep next to her.

"Is it still night?" she whispered.

He looked above his shoulder calmly. "Close to the break of dawn. Did I wake you?"

She frowned. "Didn't you want to wake me? Were you going to sneak out?" She sounded reproachful.

He took out his pipe and placed it on the mantelpiece. Then he walked to her and sat at the bed. His hand came out and smoothed her tangled up hair away from her face. "Are you scolding me?"

She reached up and clutched his wrist. A few tears pooled in her eyes. "Last time you left at such an ungodly hour was because you read a hateful message about me..."

A soft smile came to his lips that was tainted by the immense sadness in his eyes when he understood how much all this adventure had scared their relationship. "This is nothing like that, I assure you." His thumb caressed her cheek gently.

A timid smile cracked on her lips. "It isn't?"

He shook his head. "No. I was not trying to sneak out. I just have to leave very early today and I didn't want to bother you, that's all."

"Why?" she frowned. "You rarely start work before the break of dawn."

"It is one of these rare occasions that I have to." His voice was hushed.

She discerned the shift in his eyes though. She saw the darkness that awoke in them. Her fingers pressed his muscular forearm tightly. "What will happen today Thorin?" she whispered. "From the look in your eyes and the official clothes you are wearing, it won't be anything good, will it?"

He pressed his lips and looked at her mouth with a small frown.

"Karunn?" Eilin exhaled.

His eyes lifted up to hers steadily.

"Tell me please." She whispered.

He leaned down until their mouths gently touched. He captured her lips between his softly once and then repeated it as many times as he needed in order to feel the sigh of relief from Eilin's chest escaping to his mouth. Then he pulled back and lingered close to her cheek. His eyes closed down. "You don't have to know everything about Erebor now do you? Remember what we said? I need to go."

Her fingers turned to desperate clutches on him. "Don't go like that! I will be in fear until you return."

"I am not going into battle my beloved and I am most certainly not sneaking out. Lean back and rest please..." he whispered and pushed her back down. She allowed him to cover her up as her eyes were eating him with worry. When he came down to gift her with dozens of affectionate kisses all over her face she began feeling slightly better. He whispered to her. "Close her eyes and sleep more. I will return the moment I finish with everything."

During all this Eilin's stomach was clenching with fear, but she didn't resist him. "I don't want to sleep anymore."

"Don't argue with me young lady!" he warned with a sly smile and cupped her cheek. When he heard no answer from her and felt secure that she was going to listen to him, he stood up and walked to the door.

That is when her impatience betrayed her and she pushed the quilts away from her body and ran to him. "Wait!"

He turned around. "Didn't I just tell you to stay into bed? Are you disobeying?" He raised his brows, but only part of his countenance was serious. The other one had a hint of playfulness that partly reassured Eilin that maybe she was misreading things. When the teasing Thorin came to life, she knew their relationship held strong and they were not sailing any dark waters.

She shook her head. "I think something serious is going to happen. I can read it in your eyes."

"I rule seven kingdoms my heart, serious things happen every single day at least to one of them," he sounded casual about something that was truly so weighty.

She raised her finger at him. "I am going to put something on and come with you. I might even try on one of these sensual dresses that always make you hot under the collar and I will accompany you. When you finish we come back, you take the dress off of me in any manner you want and I give you pleasure before we both sleep. Deal?" she went to the cupboard and began rampaging through it messily. A nagging feeling at the pit of her stomach was making her uneasy. She didn't want him to go alone anywhere today.

He came up behind her and his heavy hand landed on her shoulder. He turned her around. "That sounds unspeakably alluring..."

"You cannot resist dresses, I know..." she bit her lower lip and played with the lapels of his leather vest.

He tucked her long hair above her neck and traced the thin chain of the diamond dove. He leaned down and gave a gentle peck at the base of her neck. She sighed and closed her eyes. His hands reached up and clasped hers, pulling them gently away from the cupboard. "Nevertheless, you cannot accompany me today Eilin. There are days where I have to be King, alone. Forgive me."

She huffed. "I am not returning to bed. I'll sit here by the fire until you come back. Or I'll walk, that's a better idea! I'll walk around Erebor until you come back to tell me why you had to leave this early and why your eyes are so full of darkness. They are oozing shadows I don't want to see or remember. You had that look in your eyes before, during our separation."

He turned her around and clutched her shoulders. "Is that what you fear?"

She hesitated before nodding. "That amongst other things..." she admitted with a diminished voice.

He smirked and she frowned. "To bed young lady. You are growing bigger by the day and your eyes have serious traces of sleeplessness. I won't allow you to wake up this early when your body needs so much rest, especially since there is no reason. Whatever it is I have to take care of it's my job, not yours. Your job is to care of your body and of our child. Back to bed before I force you in it!"

This sudden change of attitude from him made her feel slightly better, but she was not reassured just yet. "Nope! Forget it!" she rebuked him with a searching smile.

He exhaled through his nose irritated. Then out of the blue, he placed his arm under her knees and lifted her up. She grabbed his shoulders for support. "What are you doing!?" she cried.

He walked with her in his arms and placed her gently in bed. "I am acting out on my threat, now silence!"

She giggled.

He pulled the covers tightly against her body. "You will remain here and close your eyes! That's an order!"

She bit her lower lip and raised her brow. "I might sleep if you lull me with a song...or maybe massage my back, or maybe caress my hair?" she tried to entice him to remain.

That is when the bell chimed the first call of dawn and his eyes lost their playfulness and returned to the shadows that made Eilin's stomach clench. "I cannot this morning my love. I really have to go, but I will return soon. Till then do me a favour and rest. For the well being of you and for our child. Please..." it was his turn to beg.

She felt her heart melting and she reached up and pulled him in a tight embrace that he reciprocated. "I'll try. Just please don't take too long to come back to me."

"I won't." His fingers entwined through her hair making her eyes close down.

"This isn't like the last time is it?" She whispered.

His lips turned down and his fingers tightened on her head lovingly. "It is most certainly not. Now please rest." He gave her a doting kiss on her forehead and pushed her back in bed.

She laid there and forced a fearful smile on her lips.

His look was that of such utter devotion that Eilin felt it warm up her soul. Finally a ghostly smile cracked on his lips as he leaned down and pecked her lips softly. Then he stood up and walked to the door. "Don't you dare get out of bed. When I come back I don't want to see the paleness on your cheeks or the black circles under your eyes. I'll tell Lis to look after you."

"Don't wake up the poor kid!" she frowned and pushed the covers back.

"Back-in-bed!" he commanded with the door half open. She looked at the guards outside who remained totally apathetic.

Her foot peeked from under the covers, but he brought his heavy boot down angrily on the stone floor in order to scare her. She yelped and fell back into bed finally releasing a bubbly laughter as his playful behaviour finally managed to soothe down her fears. He raised his finger. "Don't you dare disobey..." he warned.

She brought the quilt up to her eyes, but then she turned around on purpose and revealed to him her bottom, not truly caring about the guards. She knew they'd never turn around. She wiggled it provocatively and looked above her shoulder at his face turning red and steamy. "Will this manage to bring you back?" she whispered.

He crushed the door behind him and walked up to her so defiantly that she cowered away from him. He climbed onto bed and straddled her. She screeched and tried to kick him off, but his thighs tightened around her hips and kept her still. Then his hands grabbed her wrists and pinned them next to her head. A guttural growl escaped him as he lowered himself and captured her mouth in a kiss that was demanding, fiery and deeply possessive. She had no choice but to comply as he ignited a mixture of feelings in her body that blew fog all over her mind. She felt the roughness of his palms chafing the sensitive skin of her wrists, as she meekly tried to present him with some half hearted resistance. When he pulled back she was heaving and her eyes were closed. As for her mind...that had forgotten all about his official attire and the fact that he never woke up at this hour. It was blessedly swimming with things that she wanted him to do to her. "Now I am leaving...so no more showing me your voluptuous bottom...okay?" he whispered upon her lips and she moaned against the hotness of his breath.

"Okay..." She was surprised his fierce kiss had left her with enough logic in order to respond.

He shook his head. "I really need to go. Try to sleep a little bit...please..." his mouth opened up and allowed his teeth to nip her softness of her cheek gently.

She felt aroused by his handling and annoyed by his insistence to keep this morning a secret, but she nodded half heartedly. He moved his mouth on hers and gave her a gentle peck. Then he got off her and straightened his vest and hair before he opened the door again.

"Don't do anything you'll regret my love," her voice was low and solemn.

"I shall not. That is a promise," he raised his brow with equal graveness and every single drop of playfulness erased from his countenance, which became regal in the blink of an eye. He inclined his head to her respectfully and closed the door behind him.

Eilin huffed and turned sideways. Her hand rested on her baby bump and she caressed it softly. "I hope daddy will be okay Rhianaye." She whispered and caressed a round protrusion that could have been the baby's head. Then she looked through the crack in the curtains and waited impatiently for the break of dawn. She knew sleep wouldn't come to her easy now and she was right...it didn't.

* * *

 

When the gates opened up for him, the bell was chiming out the final call before dawn and every inch of playful behaviour that had come out so naturally with Eilin, melted to the ground under the heavy regards of the men that were waiting for him outside. The two carriages were aligned and escorted by a group of four mounted soldiers each. Thorin led his horse by the bridle and stood next to Dain.

"This won't be a good morning." He said solemnly.

"No, it won't." Came the forbidding answer.

Thorin's jawline settled. "Are you ready?"

Dain's eyes were bloodshot and the dark circles around them betrayed that he hadn't slept through the night. Still though he puffed up his chest proudly and pressed his lips. "I am always ready."

Thorin inclined his head and turned to Durar who immediately bowed his head when the King's attention was on him. "Fili informed you of this affair correct?"

Durar's face became officially strict. "He did my Lord."

"You helped a lot with Lord Dain's distress already," Thorin noted.

Durar's certainty wavered slightly and he turned at Dain who was looking lost at the carriages. "I tried my Lord. I understand this is a very private matter and very sensitive to Lord Dain. I want to thank you for trusting me with it."

"And I wish to thank you for assisting my family to sustain through this hellish trial Durar. I shall never forget what you have done for Dain." Thorin rejoined sincerely.

Durar closed his eyes and pressed his fist upon his chest. "I am yours my Lord."

Thorin gave a grateful nod to Durar and then turned his attention to the least expected participant of this solemn gathering.

"My Lord, I am at your orders!" Servin bowed his head and pressed his fist above his heart.

"Lord Dwalin related to me your eagerness to assist the search parties when I went missing a few moons ago." Thorin frowned.

"I did my Lord." Servin said without meeting Thorin's eyes.

"Why did you?" Thorin approached and his eyes burned through Servin's head.

"I acted out of character and listened in on a private discussion of your family, my Lord. I must ask your forgiveness for that, but it helped me realise how awfully you have been deceived by the person in question. After becoming an unfortunate witness to the historical moment of your abdication and learning the driving force behind it, there was nothing else residing in my heart, but an honest will to assist your family in any manner. We have a very heavy history my Lord, which cannot be erased, nevertheless I saw enough to understand that not everything is black and white as I believed. There are always the grey areas that I had thoroughly ignored through the years, as I was blinded by my pain." Servin spoke with all the honesty he felt in his heart.

"I understand." Thorin said with an unwavering presence of mind.

"Forgive me for intruding the privacy of your family in this manner..." Servin looked up at him.

Thorin's lips broke into a faded smile. "Thank you for offering your assistance both to my family and the search parties. Thank you for being the first one to arrive for my rescue in Dol Guldur, right after Lord Dwalin."

Dwalin raised his brow.

"An honour my Lord," Servin bowed his head.

Thorin inhaled deeply and looked at each man in the eye. "You have all been called here today as witnesses. Today's events will follow the laws of our Elders and no rule shall be broken." Then Thorin's gaze fell on his advisor.

Balin nodded and bowed. "With the addition of the King there are four Lords out of the seven from the Dwarven alliance, therefore a majority. We can continue with the proceedings."

"Lord Dain?" Thorin turned towards the only one there whom he truly cared about this morning.

Dain was so absorbed that he didn't hear anything. Durar gave him a nudge.

Dain inhaled sharply and looked back at Thorin who was waiting patiently. "What?" he asked confused.

"Shall we begin?" Thorin asked calmly.

Dain inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. "Yes, let's get this over with."

Thorin mounted and so did everyone else. He took the lead along with Dain and Durar. When he looked up to the sky he saw the heavy rain clouds lingering ominous above his lands, yet the soft singing of the birds and the fresh grass that was sprouting after this immensely harsh winter, eliminated the sinisterness of the sky.

It took them a long time to reach the training grounds as the progression was slow paced and they were all quiet. Each person was drawn deep into their own heavy thoughts. When they aligned at the designated spot, a soft rainfall has began that was cooling their brows, clearing up the dirt from the carriages and making the coats of their horses shiny. Thorin inhaled deeply the refreshing scent of the wet ground and listened to the soothing silence of the forest all around them. He dismounted and everyone mimicked him. He turned around and gave the signal to the guards of the first carriage. The doors opened and the soldiers pulled out a dishevelled Karunn who met the brightness of the outside world after a long time of dark isolation with a wince of pain. She tried to cover her eyes, but the chains that bound her wrists and shins didn't allow her. She almost fell, but her escort kept her aloft.

Dain tensed and the King gave Durar a cautious look that send him immediately next to Dain. All the facial hair from Karunn's face had been shaved and her hair had been cut off, but she still maintained her warrior braid, that was more a gift from her father than a true statement of some brave accomplishment. She was dressed in a torn white undergarment and her boots had been removed. Her throat were bearing the heavy bruising from Thorin's rough handling. She looked around her confused for a moment until she saw the solemn assembly that was observing her. Her eyes fell on the King and her face paled. Then her eyes looked at Dain almost in despair and she made to dash towards him. "Uncle!" The soldiers and the chains stopped her.

Dain became stiff and Durar tensed with him.

"Uncle where is daddy?!" she cried and tried to shake the soldier away from her back.

Dain remained silent.

"Why aren't you talking to me?!" Karunn's face began cracking in fear.

Dain averted his eyes and Durar's hand landed on his bicep.

Karunn looked at all the other forbidding faces, but it was Thorin that her eyes lingered on, regaining quickly some of their wrath and defiance. "Why did you bring me here? I thought I was going to go through a trial!" She spat at him.

Thorin raised his brow nonchalantly.

Karunn stomped her foot down and screeched after a long silence that was intended to break even the mightiest of spirits. "Who are all these people? Why are there so many soldiers?!"

Thorin remained undisturbed and that broke Karunn's verbal delirium.

It took her several moments of apprehensive deliberation to manage to speak again, but her lips were quivering when she did so. "You are going to kill me, aren't you?"

Thorin's countenance was totally expressionless.

Karunn's eyes thinned. "Why else would you bring me out here at this hour? You decided to dodge the trial, didn't you? Did you wake up one morning and resolved into killing me?" The accusation and the hatred were obvious in her voice.

Thorin's lips pressed and he crossed his hands at his back, unperturbed.

Karunn's beady eyes shifted from one man to another, trying to find some support. She inhaled deeply and licked her lips nervously. Her voice crawled up to them from the forest bed, eerie and filled with an apprehension which was masked under waves of hatred towards Thorin. "See the bravery of your mighty King! He's got a poor woman bound in chains and escorted by dozens of soldiers just in order to get rid of her. He cannot even do it himself!" she spat vehemently.

Dain who until then was trying to calm down the shaking of his hands, yanked his arm free off Durar's tight hold and tried to lash out to her. Durar quickly got in front of Dain and detained him with great difficulty. "Shut your mouth your little whore or I will come over there and kill you myself, do you hear me?!" Dain thundered.

Karunn's eyes dilated in horror and she took a step back. "Uncle, what are you saying..." she stammered.

Dain tried to get rid of Durar who did an amazing job at stopping the immense strength of this impressive Dwarf Lord. "Steady mate...no...!" Durar snapped.

"Let me get her! Let me get her!" -Dain growled in fury.

Karunn's eyes turned to the other Lords, searching for anyone that might be willing to assist her. "So many men against one woman...your bravery is monumental..." she spat vehemently, this time not only to Thorin, but to all of them, even her uncle who was almost in a frenzy.

"You have the audacity to challenge our honour" Dain's fist struck his heart and his eyes filled with tears- "when your actions have forever stained the name of our family in the eyes of all the Dwarven clans that have ever been, are and will be! You have the nerve to call us out instead of bowing your head and begging for forgiveness! How presumptuous, how evil, how degenerate, how unrepentant can you be?!" Dain shouted and Durar was finding it harder and harder to contain him.

"Where are my parents!? They should have been here, witnesses to my demise like you all are!" Karunn bellowed in aversion.

"Both of them are finally protected, as they should have been since the beginning, from your nefarious affairs!" Dain yelled back at her.

"Are you going to let them kill me like that? Like I am nothing? I am a lady of the Ironhills! An Iron maiden!" Karunn hurled hatefully at her uncle and strained against her chains.

Dain pulled back away from Durar's steel grip and his bottom lip trembled when he spoke the next words. "You are no lady. You don't belong to the Ironhills. You are not my niece anymore." His voice cracked under the pressure of his emotions that were all over the place. Durar relaxed his hold on Dain's shaking shoulders.

Upon those words, Karunn's eyes grew wild beyond recognition. "Who do you think you are degrading me in such a manner?! I demand to speak to my father!"

"You cannot demand anything anymore! You are lucky he didn't kill you on the spot the day you tried to strangle the Queen" -Dain pointed at Thorin- "and you are lucky I didn't visit you down at your cell to get rid of you earlier. You are lucky to have this slim chance of making it out alive!"

Karunn pulled back shocked. "Chance? What do you mean?" her voice lost all it's ferocity and became hushed and confused.

Dain shook Durar away from him and walked a few steps towards Karunn before Thorin's powerful hand came out to stop him this time. Durar joined from the other side. "You are accused of heinous crimes! I would have send you to the gallows pole much sooner! I wouldn't have given you such a chance even if my brother was begging me on his hands and knees for your life! You killed a child...an unborn baby! You ...you almost killed your sister!" Dain strained against Thorin's sturdy hold to no avail.

Karunn looked around her truly lost then and her lips parted as she felt life slipping out of her hands. The control she always adored to have over people, was now finally over her and she had no way to turn this around. The terror that started mounting in view of her demise, clashed mercilessly with the wrath that always resided in her soul.

Thorin gave a curt nod to Balin who walked in front of the assembly and opened up a scroll. With a sonorous voice that reverberated all over the clearing he spoke. "Lady Karunn, daughter of Lord Fain you are accused of the following crimes. Deception against the royal family with the intend to cause physical harm. Deception towards Lieutenant Nyrthrasir and his wife with the intend to cause physical harm. Attempted burglary. Scheming against the life of Rhiannon Goodwill and Lord Nyrthrasir. Scheming against the life of Lady Valdis. Physical attack towards Lady Eilin. Attempted murder towards Lady Eilin that was stopped by the King himself. Attempted murder towards Lieutenant Nyrthrasir which failed. Attempted murder of Rhiannon Goodwill which failed. Murder of an unborn child. Psychological manipulation against Lady Valdis which caused her to attempt suicide. Attempted murder of the prince or princess of the crown as a result of your actions and ultimate treason against the state."

Karunn's eyes darted with fear upon the faces of her prosecutors. "Witnesses?" she stammered already feeling defeated. Her eyes burrowed into Thorin's, but she saw only cold derision there.

Balin gave her a curt nod. "Lieutenant Nyrthrasir who is willing to testify how you forced him to deceive the King with the threat to reveal your intimate relationship to his wife which would cause her to die or miscarry. Lieutenant Nyrthrasir who is willing to testify that he didn't try to commit suicide, but that you attempted to murder him in order to silence him when he decided to reveal the truth to the King. Rhiannon Goodwill is willing to testify that you intended to pay the thieves you employed with money from Erebor's vaults for her murder, which was attempted. Lieutenant Dongar is willing to testify about your illegal relationship with Lieutenant Nyrthrasir and how it led to his removal from the army of Lord Dain. Rhiannon Goodwill is willing to testify about your deception towards her at the Forsaken Inn and how you distracted Lady Eilin's baby belt from her hands, which almost caused the complete destruction of the Royal family..." Balin would have continued, but Karunn's broken voice stopped him.

"Enough..." she hissed. Her eyes never disengaged Thorin's, who remained impassive.

Dain pulled out a dagger and tried to walk to her, but Durar stopped him. "No mate, it's not worth it!"

Thorin removed his powerful hold on Dain's shoulder and allowed him to go free for the first time. "Leave him." He said to Durar.

Durar looked at the King confused, but backed up as Dain marched up to Karunn who tried to flee behind the soldier. "No uncle don't!" she pleaded.

He stopped in front of her and grabbed her warrior braid, cutting it clean off the roots. Karunn felt as if someone had slashed through her heart. She yelled in pain and kneeled defeated in front of her uncle. "Have mercy on me please..." she wailed and her piercing voice send a flock of birds flying up to the sky.

Dain discarded the braid, after removing Fain's golden bead that bore the sigil of their family on it. He held it tightly in his hand. "It's not me you should be asking mercy from..." he said solemnly and returned to his rightful place at the right side of the King.

Karunn turned her pleading eyes on the man she tried to destroy and felt her knees weak. "My King...please forgive my crimes...please have mercy..." she stammered.

Thorin clasped his hands behind his back. "You father has pleaded for a Royal prerogative of mercy and so has Lady Eilin." It was the first time he was addressing her.

"They have?...she did?" Karunn frowned feeling unexpectedly disoriented and thrown off tracks.

"The laws of the Elders allow me to give pardon even to a criminal that is accused of such serious crimes as attempted murder." Thorin continued composed.

"They do? What does that mean? I can have a royal pardon?" Karunn's eyes flickered faintly with hope.

Thorin gave a curt nod to Balin who opened another scroll. "The King of the North has signed a Royal prerogative of mercy for your crimes. You are allowed to go free after all your facial hair is removed and you are branded as a traitor in exile. You shall never be allowed admittance into any Dwarven city of Middle Earth upon orders of their King."

Karunn looked at the rune of the traitor that they had branded at the outside of her wrist two days ago and shuddered. Then she turned with disbelief to Thorin whose cold eyes only served to fuel the terror in her, despite his advisor who was speaking of a pardon. "You are letting me go?"

"Even though you destroyed so many people throughout your vengeful rampage, I decided to listen to the pleads of your honourable father and Lady Eilin. You are free to go." Thorin gave the guard a single gaze and the man leaned down and unclasped the chains away from her wrists and shins.

Karunn rubbed her bloody skin and turned around flabbergasted. "Am I free?" she muttered. "Uncle...? Am I free?" she turned to Dain.

"You hated me all along didn't you?" Dain's lips turned down.

Karunn's lips parted and she exhaled defeated, but not a single tear of remorse touched those eyes. All she cared about was to get away, not feel repentance for the ruins she had dealt to so many people. She was the only one who mattered to her, so how could she honestly answer to her uncle that she hated him to the core...all these years. How could she admit the vileness of her soul openly to all?

"You hated me because I didn't hide my words around you. You hated me because I decided to have a say on how Valdis was going to grow up. I didn't want her to end up like you. A privileged whore who thought she could manipulate everyone around to get what she wants. A vile woman who is swollen with conceit. An arrogant, abusive and ungrateful creature." Dain continued coldly.

Karunn's face paled and her thin lips tightened till they became white. Her hands turned into wrists of fury, but her uncle's accusations left her mute.

"You hated me and you hated your poor sister..." Dain's nose flared.

Karunn's eyes suddenly spat fire.

"What did you tell her in order to send her to commit suicide?" Dain's voice crawled with freshly awoken wrath.

"Nothing..." Karunn hissed.

Dain snapped then and stormed up to her. "What did you tell her to make her use Fili's swords in order to cut her veins you vile creature?!"

Thorin blocked Dain's advance with his body. "Enough..." his silent warning reached Dain's foggy brain. Dain pulled back and turned around not wanting to face Karunn anymore.

"Finish this..." he told Thorin and it would have sounded like a command, if it wasn't the most heartbroken plead the King had ever heard from this battle hardened warrior.

Thorin turned to her coldly. "Balin will give you the royal pardon and you shall be free to run away, but before you do there is a term in the laws of the Elders that we must all abide by."

Karunn frowned and felt her stomach tensing in apprehension. Her nemesis was not yet finished with her, was he? "What term?" she muttered.

Thorin looked at Balin who bowed. "In a case of a Royal prerogative of mercy upon a criminal who is accused of attempted murder, the ruler is obliged to allow the victims of that criminal, if they are alive, to face their tormentor. They will have an equally valid opportunity to decide the criminal's fate as they were the ones who suffered the most from these evil actions. If the victims offer the criminal a pardon also, then the Royal prerogative of mercy shall be valid henceforth. If the victims decide to take revenge on the criminal the ruler must respect their decisions."

"Victims?" Karunn soughed.

Thorin gave a silent signal and the other carriage got unlocked. The guards led out a man whose countenance drained all the blood from Karunn's face.

"Oh...no...please ...no..." she stuttered.

Nyrthrasir's murderous eyes turned towards Karunn.

"Release him." Thorin commanded and crossed his arms calmly.

Karunn took a step back as the guards unchained Nyrthrasir. "You destroyed my life! You killed my unborn child!" He spat.

Karunn opened her mouth to plead with him, but nothing came out.

"Lady Eilin and Lady Valdis have already requested your pardon. Rhiannon Goodwill requests your demise, but is too weak to act upon the law. This is the final victim of your evil crimes. You have to face his judgment." Thorin looked sternly at Nyrthrasir.

"You killed my unborn child!" Nyrthrasir bellowed and his voice echoed into the forest with terrifying capacity.

Karunn turned to Thorin. "You said I was free to run away! You said I had a royal pardon!" she pointed at him accusingly.

"You do, but as the laws of the Elders state, you have to face your victims and plead for their pardon also. Your fate is out of my hands." Thorin repeated unruffled.

"Are you playing with words? You are the one who is setting this up on me! My death will be on your head!" Karunn hurled at him with resentment.

Thorin raised his brow coldly. "I am not playing with words, but with our laws."

"You said I was free to ran!" she doubled over as a howl of fear escaped her at the impending doom that was painted in the eyes of her mortal enemy.

Thorin's brows met darkly. "You are free to run away from the nightmares you created. You are free to convince him to spare you."

Karunn's lips parted and her cheeks streamed with tears. "I am going to die..." she whispered.

Thorin drew Dain's sword sharply and Karunn jerked at the sound of metal that slashed through the silence of the forest. He threw it to Nyrthrasir who grabbed it mid air. "At your cell I told you that when the time came I would ask you a question and I will demand an answer."

Nyrthrasir's hand tightened around the sword. "You did."

"Our Laws give this woman's judgment to you. Are you willing to give her a pardon?" Thorin's voice dropped low.

Nyrthrasir's eyes gleamed as he shook his head slowly. "No."

A violent sob escaped Karunn's chest.

Thorin turned to her. "You have any last words?" for the first time since this ordeal began, his voice crawled with contained anger.

A myriad of emotions were suddenly visible on Karunn's countenance. Hatred, rejection, haughtiness, despair, desolation, misery, wrath. They alternated upon her face quicker than her erratic heartbeats. When she finally spoke it was one feeling that predominated all the rest and it was directed only to one person. Her eyes erupted with loathing as she spat towards Thorin. "I regret failing to destroy you..."

Thorin's eyes thinned, but he remained visibly calm. "Give her a head start..." he told the guards, who released her.

Karunn looked around her stupefied for several moments before realising that she had only one chance to get out of this one alive. She had to run...run for her life...run away from the purgatory that was gazing at her coldly through the eyes of her ex lover. She sprang to her feet and stormed into the forest with a howl of terror that reverberated alarmingly upon the vast lands around them. A howl that alerted Thranduil's soldiers who were guarding the borders of Mirkwood, but upon their King's orders didn't intent to intervene in the business of their allies. When her dirty undergarments where nowhere to be seen amidst the trees Thorin turned to Dain who was gazing the other way. Durar's hand was on his shoulder trying to comfort him. "Are you alright?" Thorin said in a hushed tone.

Dain nodded. "Thank you for finishing this for us."

Thorin looked towards his boots and nodded. Then he turned his attention to Servin who approached calmly. "I will leave you and Dwalin responsible here."

"What if she survives?" Servin's eyes were coldly calculative. He heard a lot and understood even more. He had no likeness for this woman.

"She will not." Thorin said deliberately. Dain tensed, but didn't intervene. Servin and Dwalin exchanged glances and then bowed in accordance.

He then turned to the guards and gave the signal for Nyrthrasir to be released. He stormed into the woods with a terrifying battle cry that made Dain finally look up with eyes full of tears. Thorin felt his distress and touched his shoulder firmly. "Durar shall escort you back home."

Durar smiled sadly at Dain. "Yes, let's go. Everything is over."

Dain shook his head. "I wish to see her dead body first."

Thorin pursed his lips and turned to Servin and Dwalin. "Remain here. I shall escort Dain back. When everything is over bring back her body for burial."

Dwalin raised his brow. "What about the thief?" he asked.

Thorin lips curled down in aversion. "When everything is over, kill him."

Dwalin crossed his arms. "Nyrthrasir?"

Thorin exhaled a trapped breath slowly. "Bring him back, unharmed."

Dwalin nodded and Servin bowed. Thorin ordered one carriage to remain and then with the help of Durar he escorted Dain back to Erebor enveloped in heavy and dark silence.

* * *

 

Up in Dis' rooms Eilin was sitting by the fire observing closely the amazing art of embroidery. Lis was sitting by the fire sorting out the fabrics colour wise as her mother was down at the kitchens, preparing a royal dinner for all of them according to Eilin's wishes.

"That is absolutely astonishing." Eilin admired Dis' fingers as they were creating their magic upon the red soft cotton fabric.

"Royal colours for the royal baby..." Dis said and Eilin noticed that some tears were pooling in the princess' eyes.

"Hey...are you alright?" Eilin reached up and cupped Dis' hand stopping her gently.

Dis nodded and exhaled deeply. "I am sorry. Got a lot in my mind."

"Then don't bother yourself with the baby clothes. I have enough already." Eilin tried to reassure her.

Dis looked up. "I assure you this helps me. It always had a calming effect on me, much like the forges have on Thorin."

Eilin smiled sweetly. "At least do you want me to help you?"

Dis pointed at Lis. "Give the Queen a roll of fabric...the royal blue one...yes, that one my darling."

Lis smiled up at Eilin. "Belly is growing bigger ma'am."

"You don't say. I am having aches and pains all over." Eilin reciprocated the smile and took the fabric.

"I am here to look after you ma'am. King's orders. Don't worry!" Lis beamed up to her.

"Don't remind me about that. I told him not to bother you first thing in the morning." Eilin sounded reproachful.

"I love helping you ma'am!" -Lis turned to Dis- "I sorted out the fabrics my Lady, what do you want me to do next?"

"Okay now roll up the wool please my love." Dis smiled at the child.

Lis nodded eagerly and pulled over a tangled mountain of wool and began sorting each separate colour, before rolling them carefully.

"Now pass me this quill." Dis pointed at a used old quill that barely had enough ink on it's tip. When she got it she put her embroidery aside and began drawing a detailed art of the Longbeard sigil on the hem of the fabric. When she was finished she looked at it critically and then at Eilin. "This will come out after the first wash. Now take a needle and a golden thread and start outlining the drawing."

Eilin eagerly did as she was told and observed carefully at how Dis was threading the needle through the fabric in order to create a careful outline. Dis made sure Eilin was already well occupied and then she picked up her own embroidery and started working again, but after several contemplative moments she decided to speak again as her bottled up feelings seemed to be ready to spill out of her seams. "When I lost my husband, my brother and my grandfather, I thought everything was over for me, but I still had my children to live for."

Eilin stopped her rather sloppy work and looked up shocked into silence.

Dis' lips quirked. "You always have hope when your children are alive. You might not understand what I am talking about now, but you'll feel it when you become a mom..."

Eilin didn't dare move.

Dis' huffed. "What am I talking about, you are already a mom...you do know what I am saying."

Eilin felt her eyes tearing up.

"When a mother loses her child...her largest part, if not all of her dies with them. When I learned that my son died, I would have killed myself, hadn't I Fili to live for." Dis continued her work even though tears were running down her cheeks.

Eilin placed the embroidery aside and cupped Dis' hand.

Dis looked up heartbroken. "When Kili died...I died. I saw a young, beautiful, strong and brave life lost so untimely to a bloody war."

"I am so sorry," Eilin felt her eyes burning.

Dis smiled bitterly. "I may seem strong to everyone, but the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last before I go to bed is Kili's pale mask of death."

Eilin squeezed Dis' hand that felt cold.

Dis didn't speak for several moments. "Mahal has handed out many untimely deaths to our family. One by one we were being eliminated, yet after a long time he deemed us worthy to offer us a life."

Eilin looked up sharply.

Dis clasped Eilin's hand back and smiled sadly. "The child in your belly offers me comfort and hope. My brother's child is the first ray of hope our decapitated family had seen in centuries. It is a blessing not only to you personally, but to us...to me...to the whole of Erebor. My boy is gone, but there is another child coming to this family to brighten it up and I will do everything I can to help you and Thorin raise it..." -Dis smiled wistfully- "or them if they are twins. Who knows maybe the great Maker will bless us with two miracles indeed."

Eilin squeezed Dis' hand and nibbled her lower lip. "Your words mean so much to me."

Dis shook her head. "You don't know the rule, but you shall learn it. What is in the family stays in the family. We never used nannies to take care for our children. We raise them amongst us. It might seem overwhelming for you, but I am going to be there to assist and Fili will be there also."

"Thorin...?" Eilin frowned uncertain.

"Most of all him!" Dis' smile brightened up the whole room.

"Even though he's ruling seven Kingdoms? When will he find the time to share on the burdens of parenthood?" Eilin's eyes grew sad.

"He'll rule them with a baby stuck on his hip don't worry..." Dis waved her off happily.

Eilin closed her eyes in relief. "What is in the family stays in the family," she whispered.

"And you are part of our family now..." Dis smiled and they looked at each other lovingly for a few moments before falling in each other's arms. It was Lis who opened the door when it knocked as neither Dis nor Eilin wanted to break that beautiful moment between them.

"What I am seeing is rather moving, but ladies break up for I have rather solemn news for both of you." Fili took a seat, looking rather exhausted.

"What happened?" Dis pulled back and looked at her son worried.

"Karunn is dead." Fili said with a deep exhalation of relief.

"Finally..." Dis leaned back and cupped her forehead as all the tension seemed to release from her body.

Eilin on the other hand became rigid and looked thoughtfully at her hands.

Fili nodded. "Her body was just brought back. She was totally unrecognisable. Uncle gave orders for her to be cleaned before presented to her father and uncle Dain is overlooking the procedure, but I will forbid Valdis to look at her. I will chain her to bed if needed." Fili's voice was strict.

"I agree. The poor girl should not be allowed to go through such a trauma. She's been through enough already. No matter my rather heavy deliberations about your intimate involvement with her..." Dis said haughtily, but Fili spoke over her.

"Stop it mother. Enough!" He snapped angrily.

Dis raised her hand. "..let me finish! No matter my own deliberations, you must support her during this time of mourning. Be there for her."

Fili closed his eyes and leaned his forehead to his palm. "I am sorry, this is truly driving me mad. I spoke too soon."

Dis inclined her head. "I understand son." -Then she turned towards Eilin who hadn't spoken at all during this exchange- "What's wrong with you then?"

"He didn't listen to my plead." Eilin whispered disappointed.

"What?" Dis asked confused.

Eilin looked up. "I pleaded Thorin to spare Karunn's life. He didn't listen to me." She felt heartbroken that he overlooked her plead with such ease, even though she truly understood his reasons for giving out justice to this woman.

Dis opened up her mouth to reply, but Fili spoke over her.

"On the contrary Eilin, he did listen to you."

"What?" Eilin frowned taken aback.

Fili raised his brow. "Karunn got a Royal prerogative of mercy."

Dis's mouth dropped open. "What?! You just said that she's dead..."

Eilin's countenance twisted in confusion and she looked both at Fili and Dis trying to understand.

"The King gave Karunn a royal pardon..."

Dis spoke quickly. "Then how in the name of Morgoth did she die!?"

Fili raised his hand. "Allow me to explain instead of interrupting me!" he chastised.

The women looked at each other and settled back.

"After the royal pardon was bestowed on her she was presented with a rather obscure rule of the Elder laws stating that if the criminal is accused of attempted murder and their victims have survived, they have the right to judge the criminal's fate without taking into consideration the royal pardon, since they are the ones who suffered the most."

Dis' mouth opened up even more and her eyes grew wide.

"Therefore even though the King offered her a pardon, he had the right to give her final judgment to her victims. In this case we had five victims. Myrna's unborn baby, Eilin, Rhiannon, Valdis and Nyrthrasir. The unborn baby couldn't serve anyone justice, so we had four victims. Since Eilin and Valdis gave Karunn their pardon and Rhiannon was in an ill state her fate was on the hands of her last victim, Nyrthrasir. Apparently he wasn't as lenient as the King," Fili raised his brow.

"That's what he's been doing all these days buried in the library?" Dis whispered and Eilin looked at her truly floored.

Fili inclined his head with a sly smile.

"He's been searching for that obscure law?" Dis continued.

"You told me that Thrain had thrashed him several times in order to make him learn by heart all the laws of the Elders when he was younger. Apparently that harsh and intense tutoring paid off. I don't think there is part of the law that can escape uncle Thorin." Fili rejoined proudly.

"Damn my eyes..." Dis cupped her mouth.

"Karunn's execution was a diplomatic masterstroke. As a ruler he gave her a royal pardon, but allowed her victims to slay her. At the end of the day he was the one that decided her fate as he could have overlooked the law, yet he didn't. He did everything by the book. Even down to the witnesses who joined Karunn's execution this morning. The majority of the seven Lords was there by the side of the King." Fili pursed his lips.

Eilin was fidgeting uncomfortably as she listened to what had taken place.

Dis smiled under her palm. "Brilliant!"

Fili raised his finger at her in forewarning. "You owe him an apology."

"I owe him many," Dis agreed wholeheartedly.

"Calling him brainless wolf...I mean really?" Fili shook his head dismissively.

Dis grinned pleased beyond recognition. "I was wrong...so wrong about everything. I should have shown more faith in him. So should have you!" She turned at Eilin in a rather stern warning.

"Don't you think I know?" Eilin stood up and placed her embroidery with care at the side table. That is when a sharp pain came from her back and she grabbed it with a hiss. Dis stood up simultaneously with Fili, but it was Lis who wrapped her small arm around Eilin's waist. "Need help ma'am?"

"What are you doing up? Look at you, you are in pain. Sit down." Dis commanded.

Eilin shook her head fervently. "No, I need to go my Lady!" She said and after leaning down to give a quick peck to Lis she rushed out of the room as fast as her belly allowed her.

* * *

 

It didn't take long for her to find him. He was standing in front of the throne overlooking the Arkenstone with his arms crossed behind his back. She waddled as quickly as possible at the bridge and when he heard the hurried footsteps he looked back at her.

"That's where you went this morning," she said out of breath without noticing the two guards at the flank of the throne giving her a military salute.

He reached out to grab her arm as she leaned onto him for support. "You look absolutely exhausted. What have you been doing all day?"

"Except from worrying like mad about you?" she frowned up at him.

"Except from that," he smiled and cupped her neck gently.

"Embroidery..." Eilin huffed annoyed.

"What?" he pulled back perplexed.

"I was learning embroidery with your sister, until prince Fili came in and told us what it was that drew you away from our bed this morning."

He pursed his lips, but remained silent.

She lost all the heat of her annoyance as her fingers climbed up his tunic in order to touch gently his bearded jawline. "Why didn't you tell me? I knew it was about Karunn."

"If you knew, then why did I need to tell you?" he raised his brow.

She huffed. "Don't play with me!"

He bit his lower lip. "Never..."

She cupped his cheek and drew him to her. "She's dead!"

"She is," he inclined his head and his arms brought her in.

Her eyes looked lovingly at his mouth. "Nevertheless, you listened to my plead..." she whispered.

"There was no doubt that I would, my heart." He frowned solemnly.

She raised her eyes to him gratefully. "Thank you..."

He swallowed heavily. "As there was no doubt that she was going to die."

"Still you gave her a royal pardon." Eilin muttered and caressed his cheek as her eyes looked at his face dotingly. "Because of me."

"Yes I did, but a royal pardon can be circumvented under the proper circumstances." He rejoined quietly.

A soft smile came to her lips and then she embraced him enthusiastically. "Thank you for listening to me, even though my plea may have seemed totally childish to you..."

He kissed her forehead gently. "It was my duty."

"Thank you for protecting our family..." she added and tears overflowed her eyes.

"With my life if needed." he rejoined.

"Thank you for not staining our family with the darkness of her death," Eilin clang onto him.

"That can be strongly debated in Mahal's great halls..." his voice sounded more amused on that thought, than serious.

She huffed. "I love you King Thorin..."

He pulled back and raised his brow. "King Thorin?"

She nodded with a sweet smile. "I am not afraid of the King anymore because I know that right now in front of Erebor's throne stands King Thorin...my Thorin, not the stern Mountain King."

He pushed her back until her knee got caught on the edge of the throne. Then he shoved in it and placed his hands on the armrests. "I seriously enjoyed the sound of that!"

She looked around her as the guards gave another military salutation. "I shouldn't be sitting here...I need to get off!" she sounded rather concerned.

"Nope I like you exactly where you are..." he gave her a playful gaze.

Eilin humphed and tried to get up, but his large palm pushed her back in it. The guards gave her another military salute again. "What are they doing all the time?" she frowned perplexed.

"They are hailing the Queen of Erebor," Thorin tilted his head and looked at her searchingly.

"Oh, Eru..." her cheeks became crimson.

He felt his throat growing dry as he leaned down and lingered above her lips. "You know what?"

She frowned. "What?"

"I haven't asked you to marry me yet, have I?" he raised his brow.

Her eyes grew wide and her lips parted. "No, you haven't!" she said quickly.

He smiled and pulled out his Longbeard ring. He kneeled in front of her and took her hand. He opened up her fingers and placed it in her palm. "Haven't made you a ring yet, so I will offer you this one. It belonged to my grandfather..."

She felt burning tears pooling at her eyes and her bottom lip began trembling. She raised her eyes to his feeling totally overpowered.

"Will you marry me, Queen of my life?" he whispered.

Her fingers closed up tightly around his ring, almost proprietorially. She wrapped her arms behind his back and pulled him in. When she felt the soft wetness of his lips she closed her eyes and an moan of pure bliss rumbled at her throat. He opened his mouth and demanded entrance to her slick warmth in order to explore her with a sensually slow pace that made her lose touch with reality. Soon enough she forgot what they were doing right under the Arkenstone and her mind was only able to concentrate on the ring she was holding in her hand. A ring whose weight felt immense, yet no one would be able to tear it out of her grasp. When he pulled back after several passionate moments she opened her eyes dazed. She saw his handsome face swimming close to her and her fingers planed down his side firmly. "Oh, Thorin..."

"Does that mean you accept?" he whispered.

She moaned and nodded fiercely upon his shoulder. "I so wish I had my wooden bead at this moment, the one I had seen once on the floor next to your bed."

His brow wrinkled in confusion. "What do you need it for?"

She pushed back. "I want to make you a warrior braid!"

His brows came up surprised. "Whatever for?"

"For being brave enough to remain by my side till the end." Her eyes radiated with all the affection she felt in her heart for him.

"That's not bravery, that's love," his fingers grazed her soft cheek.

"Don't ruin this romantic moment for me..." she gave him a gentle warning.

He pushed away from her and dug into his pocket until he found something. Then he looked up and showed it to her. "You want it?"

Her eyes beamed and she reached out to take her old wooden bead. "Where did you find it?!"

"It never left my pocket." He smirked down at her lovingly.

She nibbled her bottom lip and looked at his long wavy hair. Then she reached up and took a thick lock from the back of his nape in order to braid him, but he stopped her gently. "Not a hair braid, no..."

She frowned. "Why not?"

"I will grow my beard again for you and for our child and then you will place the wooden bead there for me. Deal?" His lips curled up in a playful smile.

Eilin felt her breath catching. "You will grow your beard again for us? After all these years?" Her heart stirred unexpectedly.

"I am not mourning the lost anymore. I am heralding the ones that are going to come." He whispered and his large palm caressed her belly.

She sniffled and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand which tightened around his ring. "Thank you my heart..." she murmured.

He raised his brow and snorted as he got prepared for one of his usual teases. "Besides my beard braid will be the affirmation that I managed to handle you, along with your hormones, insecurities and fears after our child is born. An ultimate test of bravery."

She scowled. "An ultimate test of love. I thought that's what you said!" her voice sounded irritated.

His fingers tunnelled through her heavy mane and he pulled her to him. "Indeed it is."

"But my bead shouldn't be the only thing you are wearing that belongs to me." Eilin lifted her brows thoughtfully.

"What else do you propose?" he asked genuinely interested.

Her fingers twisted around the cords of his tunic at the neck. "Well, I will be wearing your ring, right? A token to show everyone that I belong to the man I love, but how about you? Why not wear a ring I can have made for you to show that you belong to the woman you love?"

His brows lifted up. "Only the woman wears the ring of her husband. That has been the way of our people for thousands of years. Ever since Durin walked these lands."

"And do you think that was correct? I don't mean to put Durin down or anything..." she said playfully.

His brows rose an inch more.

"But honestly is it right for me to bear your tokens of love on me, while you are sauntering around as gorgeous and regal as ever without my ring on you?" she tilted her head with a teasing smile.

He pulled her in and buried his head at the croon of her neck. His mouth opened up and gave her skin a firm love bite, until he felt a shudder running through her. Then he pulled back and looked at her thoughtfully. "If I want to be honest, then no...this isn't fair towards you. Not at all."

"So can I make a ring for you also?" she clapped her hands.

"I'd love that, but I have a better idea." He rejoined.

"What?" she frowned.

"Why don't I pass a decree that will oblige every married couple to exchange rings as a token of love and perpetual companionship, in honour to you?" he said with a sweet lopsided smile.

She nibbled her bottom lip and looked at a stray vein on his neck that was pulsating. Her stomach did a somersault. "You would change your laws for me?"

"I'd twist the world out of shape if that would make you happy..." he whispered.

"Oh, Thorin I love you so much..." she cooed.

"Then make me a ring my beauty and make sure it has your daisy on it." his smile was bright.

She snorted, feeling amused. "The mighty Oakenshield shall wear a flower ring amidst all his rings of power!?"

"Try me!" he rebuked and opened up his mouth to devour hers with a kiss that made her head hazy and her knees wobbly. She clutched his tunic and he pulled her up from the throne without releasing her mouth. One of her legs landed on the first step to steady herself and the guards gave another military salute.

She pulled back and giggled. "I barely touched it."

"It's part of their job to salute the King and the Queen. It's them pledging their life to protect us." He caressed her nape gently.

"I find that utterly moving, but do they do that all the time?" she gave them a curious look above Thorin's shoulder.

"Every time you touch the throne. Do you want to annoy them?" he whispered in her ear, raising all her hair in attention.

She felt her lips curling up and she tightened her arms around him. "How..."

He reciprocated and lifted her easily off the ground. "Sit and stand up several times in a row..." he spoke softly.

She cupped her mouth and giggled. "Tell me you've done that when you were a dwarfling..."

"All the bleeding time. Drove my father insane, but my grandfather was in on the fun." He laughed quietly.

She embraced him tightly and felt as if she was floating in heaven. At that moment nothing...nothing could be bring her down. For she had everything she had ever wished for, right there in her arms...and inside her body.


	64. One part babies, three parts maidens

 

* * *

It was six days later that finally Fain found the courage to face Thorin again after they brought him the dead body of his daughter. He commanded his wife to remain in the Ironhills and kept Valdis away as he took bitter care of Karunn's body and begged for a space in the burial grounds for her. Thorin allowed him and it was Dain who escorted his inconsolable brother through this dark and lonely ritual of the burial of their relative. When Valdis learned her sister's fate she collapsed in Fili's arms and she remained under for several days. The prince took over her care from the break of dawn to sun down and even though his mother offered her assistance so he could rest, he didn't leave Valdis' side until the poor girl woke up again. She emptied all her agony in Fili's arms and all the guilt ridden half broken sentences of being unable to help her sister in the end. Fili left Valdis' side only when Lord Fain returned from the burial, but even then he was keeping a silent vigil outside her doors. Something that made Dis' heart weep as she understood that her boy held true feelings for this woman.

No one bothered Karunn's bruised family by Thorin's orders. No one outside the strict confinements of the top echelons of command in Erebor ever learned what Karunn did to the royal couple and to so many innocent people. Thorin made sure that everything remained under locks and the name of Fain, Dain and Valdis wouldn't be stained. No one knew anything apart from the two Lords that were present in Karunn's execution, who Thorin trusted to remain silent. Dain's appreciation and gratitude about Thorin's attitude towards the drama that had engulfed their family was expressed every single day. Dain left Thorin's side only to attend his brother. Whenever he found the opportunity he thanked the King for protecting his little pumpkin from all this degradation.

Fain kept himself under locks for several days, unable and unwilling to speak to anyone apart from his brother and daughter. He send back all the worried messages from his wife as he didn't want to deliver the sombre news of Karunn's death through the crows. When he finally decided to face the King, he had already made up his mind to leave immediately after for the Ironhills. He asked his daughter if she was going to escort him back half expecting her to deny, which she did and Fain knew this was because of Prince Fili.

These news managed to return a faded smile on the lips of Valdis' father. He squeezed his daughter's hand and embraced her fiercely before allowing her to be drawn into the company of Fili once more. Then he gathered himself and accompanied by his brother he walked solemnly to Thorin's office. When he took up the courage to knock on the King's door, he felt all his mental exhaustion materialising and he was unable to hide it from his brother. He leaned his forehead on the door with an exhalation of pain and closed his eyes.

Dain's hand landed on his shoulder. "Are you sure you wish to do this?" his voice was deeply caring.

Fain nodded. "I must talk to him and then I must leave. I must return home to my wife and deliver the news that will undo us."

Dain pressed his lips. "Do you wish for me to come along?"

"No, please stay with Valdis and keep an eye on her. She went through a lot. I know the prince is taking good care of her, but I want you to be close by too. She's the only one I have left now." Fain muttered and Dain felt the anguish that oozed out of his brother.

"You also have me and your wife." Dain spoke with a hushed tone.

Fain frowned. "We choose our One for life, don't we brother?"

Dain averted his eyes.

"I don't know if I made the right choices. After everything that happened I don't know if I can live with her anymore and I don't know if I can live without her..." Fain whispered defeated.

Dain's hand pressed on his Fain's shoulder. "Tell me what it is you wish me to do and I shall do it, on my word of honour!"

Fain closed his eyes. "Nothing...there is nothing you can do for me anymore..."

Dain felt the dagger that was already buried in his heart, twisting mercilessly by the forlorn words of his brother, but he didn't have the time to answer as the door opened.

It was Balin who smiled at them. "Come, he's been waiting for you."

Dain and Fain entered and the moment Thorin saw them he stood up and rounded his desk. He addressed Gloin who was rolling up some large scrolls that seemed to be maps. "Don't go too far. We haven't finished yet."

Gloin grinned. "I am not going anywhere. We need to discuss the massive order for mithril vests from the Elven realm. Apparently the news that there is a new vein in Erebor has leaked, which doesn't impress me much since those damned Elves are coming and going all the time in our stronghold! They are sauntering around as if it belongs to them!" Gloin's voice fell darkly.

"That sounded...grumpy." Thorin rejoined with a smile.

Gloin huffed. "It is! Their pretentious behaviour is pissing me off! I'll ask Balin for a cup of tea and I'll wait right outside your door until you finish."

"Very well." -Thorin inclined his head- "Is your family nearing Erebor?"

Gloin beamed up to him. "Yes! They are bound to arrive soon. I cannot wait to see my Gimli again. My brave son. Remember how much he wished to join us on the Quest for Erebor?" Gloin sounded rather emotional on that memory.

"I remember I had no issues with him coming along." Thorin raised his brow.

"He was sixty two damn it! Too young to undertake such a dangerous mission." Gloin glowered at the King as if that was a personal offence to his choices.

"A little bit younger than my nephews and if I remember him correctly he is quite a feisty young man with a fondness for axes and a deep dislike of Elves." Thorin smirked.

Gloin puffed up proudly. "Aye! That's my son alright!"

Thorin smiled and crossed his arms. "When they arrive bring them over so I can welcome them."

Gloin squared his shoulders and bowed respectfully. "At your orders my King. My son absolutely adores you. He will be so happy to be under your orders."

"A brave young soldier indeed. Who knows what fate has in store for him. Now go, allow me to talk to my family." Thorin dismissed him, but the light heartedness of his tone made Gloin grin under his thick beard. Thorin cued Balin who left with Gloin and closed the door quietly behind him.

When they were finally alone, Dain led Fain in front of Thorin. The Lord's legs were barely holding him up and his eyes were downcast. Dain was supporting him by his trembling arm.

Thorin's happy demeanour shadowed as he gazed sadly at Fain. "How are you?"

The Ironhills Lord shook his head at a loss for words.

Dain's voice was tainted with worry. "He's not well."

"Did you have the time needed to mourn the loss of your daughter?" Thorin kept his sorrowful gaze on his friend.

Fain felt his knees unlocking under him and even though Dain was supporting him he collapsed. His eyes filled with tears and his lips parted, but he was unable to speak.

Thorin exchanged a guarded look with his cousin and came down to one knee next to Fain. He touched his shoulder firmly. "Tell me what you wish me to do to ease your pain and I shall do it."

Those honest words turned loose more tears from Fain's eyes. "There is nothing you can do Thorin. I lost my child. There is nothing anyone can do to ease this kind of pain. You cannot understand me..."

Thorin's eyes filled with sadness and his heart with unspeakable amounts of bitterness when he remembered that accursed day that Eilin collapsed in Bilbo's home. He knew the kind of pain Fain was talking about only too well. His fingers clutched Fain's wide shoulder strenuously. "My position was and still is extremely difficult to balance throughout this ordeal. I cannot even offer my most genial condolences without pretending. I had a hand on the demise of your daughter, as she had a hand in my demise..."

Fain nodded faintly. "I know Thorin...I know."

"Yet, my heart cries out for the pain you feel inside for I cannot fathom losing my children. I am sorry for everything that happened." He spoke quietly, but the sincerity of his voice broke through to Fain.

He looked up and searched for Thorin's eyes almost desperately.

"The need to protect my family clashed with the love I have for you personally and for your family. Our close relationship and the mutual respect we have for each other stalled my hand many times over. This couldn't have ended without delivering a lot of pain to someone. I am so sorry that person had to be you. You are the last one I have ever wanted to hurt." Thorin tried to keep his equanimity, but it was rather hard.

Their eyes engaged and Thorin saw the heartache behind Fain's broken gaze.

"Had her actions not been so vile I would have acted more leniently towards her, I hope you know that." Thorin spoke quietly.

Fain's inhalation was choked and Dain's strong arm came around his shoulders to support him.

"I am trying to justify why I had to take your daughter's life...this is unthinkable to me." Thorin's voice dropped.

Dain lowered his forehead on Fain's shoulder and averted his eyes from Thorin.

Fain's eyelids closed tightly. "I am living inside hell Thorin..."

"Forgive me. Had I been able to take this trial away from you I would have done so, but it wasn't me who brought everyone to ruins." Thorin lowered his eyes.

"It was she..." Fain sobbed and cupped his mouth.

"There were too many people involved and too many lives suffering. I was unable to give this a resolution that would satisfy everyone. I couldn't be fair to the victims and protect your family to the utmost at the same time. This was such a hard conflict." Thorin said and Dain raised his eyes. Their gazes crossed and the mutual understanding mirrored in them was indisputable.

Fain's chest released a pained moan and Dain's arms tightened around his shoulders. "Still, you did give her a Royal prerogative of mercy..." Fain's voice plummeted.

Thorin inclined his head. "There are blood ties that bound us Fain...I never forget."

"Thank you," Fain stammered and reached up to grasp Thorin's hand, which he drew to his mouth devoutly. When he tried to kiss it, Thorin closed his eyes and pulled it back and drew Fain to him.

"Don't...please." He whispered.

Fain leaned his forehead on Thorin's shoulder and the King cupped the back of his head protectively. "I won't lie to you Fain, because I love you."

Fain very soul was hanging from Thorin's lips.

"I thought of overlooking everything and allowing your daughter to go in exile, not once but many times over." Thorin's voice was earnest.

Fain inhaled sharply and grabbed Thorin for support.

"An exile I am sure your wife would have found a way to bypass..." Thorin continued quietly.

Fain gritted his teeth.

"Am I right?" Thorin tried gently.

Fain's nod was feeble. "Yes..."

Thorin cast his eyes to the floor thoughtfully. "I could have overlooked that abstruse rule of the Elder Laws, had I so wished."

Fain's hand reached out and grasped Thorin's bicep like a vice. He looked up with eyes full of agony. "Why didn't you? Why did you give her to the wolves?"

Thorin's lips pressed tightly. "It is not fair of me to sugarcoat your daughter's despicable actions towards my family and towards an innocent unborn child. She allowed her need for vengeance to blind her and she attacked so many people instead of facing me. What would you have done, had you been in my place?"

"Everything to protect my family..." Fain muttered.

Dain's beseeching look, drilled a hole in Thorin's heart. "I did the best I could under the circumstances my friend." He clasped Fain's hand and pressed it.

"You might feel like you haven't done enough, but you gave her a pardon Thorin...you protected us to your best ability until the end." -Dain's voice fell heavy on their already overburdened gathering. Then he turned to his brother- "I know you are in pain, but think clearly. Thorin did the best he could under the circumstances. He couldn't have saved Karunn. Not after everything she did to so many and especially to him personally." Dain tried to reason with Fain.

Fain groaned and buried his head on Thorin's chest.

"You weren't the only one who pleaded for Karunn's life. Your plea was fortified by the wishes of the Queen. It had been almost impossible for me to sign that official scroll Fain, I won't lie. Nevertheless I did it, both for you and also for my wife, but never in my heart shall I believe that your oldest daughters actions were worthy of that pardon."

Fain's countenance dropped. "The Queen asked for Karunn to be spared?"

Thorin inclined his head loftily. "She has a heart of gold. Sometimes she's too kind hearted for her own good, but I admire that in her immensely. She forgave your daughter even though Karunn's actions almost cost Lady Eilin her pregnancy and her life."

Fain's eyes overflowed with tears.

"When Lady Valdis asked the help of the Queen concerning her sister, Lady Eilin took it upon herself to protect your youngest daughter. Nevertheless I am not as compassionate as my One. I cannot even come close to the majesty of her heart towards others who have wronged her. I am going to be sincere with you Fain. There are not many people in Middle Earth who have studied the Elder Scrolls as intensely as I had in youth. I could have easily overlooked that rule and cast Karunn into exile, but I chose not to do it." Thorin continued quietly.

Fain's lips was trembling and he was unable to utter a word.

Thorin's brow clouded as he looked above his shoulder. "The royal pardon is still at my desk. It's yours to take whenever you wish."

Fain squeezed his eyes tight and shook his head fiercely. "I need to thank the Queen...I need to..." he stammered.

Thorin pressed his forearm. "What you need to do is embrace your youngest daughter and allow yourself time to heal."

Fain grasped Dain's arms to keep himself from falling apart. "Thorin I know you will never reveal to me my daughter's connection to Nyrthrasir, but I have to ask...This is haunting me..."

Thorin's brows creased and a grey shadow covered his eyes. He remained silent and his gaze fell on Dain.

Dain pulled his brother up. "I think that's enough. We have to leave now..."

Fain yanked his arms free from Dain's grasp. "How was Nyrthrasir related to my daughter? You are always avoiding that question Thorin, but you know...as well as my brother..."

Dain's look at Thorin was imploring.

Thorin averted his eyes and looked at his scarred palms. He closed them in tight fists and his eyes found Fain's steadily. "I respect you and your brother too much to answer this question. I am sorry cousin."

Fain's already broken bearing shook hard. "Was he intimately involved with my daughter...is that it?" he stuttered unable to even ask the question without feeling his stomach nauseous.

Dain's brows came together angrily and he shook his head in negation to Thorin.

The King's hand landed on Fain's shoulder. "I will ignore your need to have this question answered, no matter how many times you will ask me. May you never find out, but if you do, may the knowledge come from the mouths of people your love dearly and not the King's."

Fain averted his eyes to the floor.

Thorin inhaled deeply and continued. "The rule of the Elder Laws that was used for your daughter's judgment is in the hands of Balin. Copied precisely from the Books of the Elders and signed by me. Everything is at your disposal for any official use, here or in the Ironhills."

Fain pressed the heels of his palms upon his eyes. "I know you did everything by the law. I never expected anything less from you, but that doesn't diminish my pain."

Thorin looked at him long and hard. "I respect that deeply."

It took Fain several moments to collect himself before he pulled Thorin in for an embrace that held nothing back. "Thank you for offering my daughter a place for burial."

Thorin's lips turned down and he patted Fain's back in commiseration. "My obligation."

"Thank you for respecting my brother's wishes and not revealing to me Nyrthrasir's connection with my late daughter, but I think I know the answer to that already. I remember him fraternising with her a little too much for comfort, before she came to me with an obscure demand to remove him from the army and throw him in the mines. I think my mind already knew back then that something serious had happened between them, but I tried to protect myself from that knowledge and acted like it was just a whim. Maybe that was part of many mistakes I made with her. Forgive me for ever offering your family such pain and anguish indirectly through a member of my family. Thank you for giving my daughter a royal pardon despite her heinous crimes. Thank you for acting with honour towards my family during this dark time. I shall never forget your upstanding conduct and sincerity, no matter the pain I feel now, my King." Fain pulled back and placed his fist onto his chest.

Thorin felt his eyes tearing up and grasped Fain's biceps keeping him up. "Go to your wife and heal your wounds. There is no reason for you to remain here anymore my friend." He said quietly.

Fain's knees unlocked and Dain pulled him on his strong body. "Steady brother...steady."

"My daughter Valdis...Do you want me to take her back to the Ironhills?" Fain's eyes were absolutely devastated.

Thorin smiled sadly. "No, for she has captured the heart of my nephew. If she leaves he's going to be beside himself. Unless you want a fierce Longbeard banging at the doors of your stronghold in the middle of the night in order to claim your youngest daughter I'd suggest you allow her the time to remain here. Let her ride off her pain for the loss of her sister with the assistance of Prince Fili."

That was the first time Thorin saw a small flicker of hope sparkling in Fain's eyes. "It is an immense honour to ask me of such a thing Thorin, especially after everything that took place between my late daughter and your family."

"That doesn't touch the impeccability of Lady Valdis' character. A trait that not only I have noticed, but also my sister, my wife and above all the Prince. I've seen too much hate, darkness and death lately. I'd truly appreciate the ability to enjoy a young couple blooming under my roof. Erebor needs some light after all the centuries it had been buried in the shadows." Thorin's mouth upturned in a thoughtful smile.

Fain pulled Thorin in and their foreheads touched. "You have whatever is left of my heart and of my family, my King of the North."

"And you have my respect Lord of the Ironhills. Travel with safety and heal your wounds with the help of your woman. My doors shall always be open to you. I wish for Lady Valdis to enter my family soon, with your blessings." Thorin smiled softly.

Fain's jawline gritted. "That would be the biggest honour my family could ever have."

Thorin nodded and pulled back. "There is a platoon ready to escort you back and Lady Valdis with Prince Fili are waiting to bid you farewell."

Fain nodded and more tears stained his cheeks anew as Dain led him slowly to the door. Just before closing it Dain's eyes crossed paths with Thorin's again and a sad smile formed on his lips. Thorin's mouth reciprocated and he inclined his head discreetly. Dain closed the door behind him and Thorin emptied himself on the edge of his desk. The heaviness of this confrontation didn't leave him unaffected. He sat there and observed the fire lost, trying to reassure himself that he acted properly towards all the parties of this dark trial, but above all to his family and to himself.

This affair couldn't have ended with all the parties satisfied. That knowledge allowed him to slowly settle down. At least he could sleep at night with his mind at ease that he had protected and avenged his family, without exposing his rule and Kingdom to criticism and without endangering the still fragile foundations of the Dwarven Alliance. Ever since the moment he returned to Erebor he knew that he was not going to allow this evil woman's dark legacy to overthrow everything he had worked for so hard. If that meant that he had to act through others and work in manipulative ways in order to get his vengeance, but keep his Kingship spotless under the Elder Laws then so be it. What mattered at the end of the day was that this woman had been punished and that his children were not going to share the world with her nefarious imprint still active on Middle Earth.

What was important was that Karunn's shadow didn't stain the Dwarven Alliance, nor the tight bond Erebor shared with the Ironhills. Most importantly it didn't rattle the blooming relationship of his boy with Lady Valdis. Thorin knew how much the loss of his brother Frerin had affected him after the battle of Azanulbizar. He understood how Fili was feeling after his brother died and that void was always going to be there.

The first honest smile of happiness he saw in Fili's face was when Valdis was next to him and Thorin treasured those moments dearly. Knowing that his careful handling of Karunn's case didn't destroy the possible happiness of his boy meant the world to him. That thought allowed the broodiness of his face to withdraw and gain slowly the peace it had lost during his confrontation with Fain.

He remained calmly musing at the fireplace until the door knocked again and Gloin came in carrying a rather large piece of Mithril and the biggest smile Thorin had ever seen from him. They remained under locks discussing the possibilities of that drift until it was late afternoon and only then did Thorin allow himself the luxury to return to his rooms and search for Eilin. Feeling rather calm and content he closed the door of his office and got ready to walk down to the King's Halls when Bjarki appeared in front of him out of nowhere and startled him.

"Going somewhere?" Bjarki's face was playful.

"To my wife?" Thorin frowned confused.

Bjarki's hand grabbed his forearm. "You have time to lock yourself up with your One. Actually you have all your life to do that. Now follow me." He pulled Thorin away from his door.

"What's gotten into you?" Thorin cringed annoyed, but allowed Bjarki to lead.

"You need to have some fun!" Bjarki smirked knowingly.

"Who told you I am not having fun?" Thorin frowned. Bjarki was trying hard to make Thorin walk faster, but he was failing as it was practically impossible for anyone to physically force Thorin to do something he didn't want to do.

"The graveness on your face," Bjarki looked above his shoulder.

"Maybe that is caused by serious issues that concern Erebor." Thorin rebuked feeling rather irritated.

"I think Erebor might be partly the reason for your broodiness, true." Bjarki stopped in front of the large doors of the royal dining cavern.

"What is the other part then?" Thorin raised his brow with a smirk.

"That your wife is becoming huge and full of pregnancy hormones and you're in over your head already..." Bjarki grinned.

Thorin leaned on the casing of the door and rubbed his forehead, but didn't speak.

"Did I get it?" -Bjarki chuckled- "I've been there. Fool that I was, I thought that my wife's pregnancy was the most difficult time of our relationship..."

Thorin removed his hand and looked at his friend with perturbation. "It wasn't?"

Bjarki laughed out loud. "Maybe Bombur will have more to tell you on this, because the man is experienced as hell, but believe me the worst period comes right after birth. You got a lot in your hands, because there is also a possibility your wife is carrying twins, isn't there?"

Thorin suddenly felt confused and out of sorts. Like someone just took absolute control of his life and he didn't know where he was heading. "They are not certain yet...I don't know. There might be just one big baby in there."

Bjarki flicked his shoulder and gave Thorin the once over. "Judging by you I wouldn't find that too surprising. Your size is intimidating and your woman is tiny..."

A strong shudder sailed through Thorin's spine. "Don't remind me." He paled.

Bjarki grasped his shoulder. "Are you afraid of the delivery?"

Thorin gave him a quiet nod. "Absolutely terrified." He admitted.

Bjarki opened his mouth to reassure him in some manner, but the door flew open and Durar along with Dwalin fell face to face with Thorin and Bjarki.

"Where the hell are you going?!" Bjarki frowned.

"To help you bring this bastard over. I was sure he was going to resist!" Dwalin grumbled and clutched Thorin's bicep and pulled him inside. He had little opportunity to understand what was going on before Durar engaged his other arm and Servin pushed a cup of mead in his hands.

"You are here too?" Thorin frowned at Siv's brother.

"Well, I am part of your kingdom now and part of your court, aren't I? I have to partake in this debauchery." Servin smiled quietly.

A ghostly smile appeared on Thorin's mouth.

Servin bowed respectfully, before he was pushed aside by Bombur's huge personality who clutched Thorin's wide shoulders firmly. "How are you father-to-be?"

Thorin cringed. "I don't know."

"A little anxious, a little excited and very apprehensive?" Bombur chuckled knowingly.

"Leave the laddie alone, he is here to have fun, not to be teased by you!" Dori pushed Bombur away.

"Don't listen to that idiot. He thinks he knows everything just because he has so many children!" Dori roared.

"I think he does know though, doesn't he? I mean none of us have his experience in that department." Ori said carefully.

"He can certainly offer some advice of course, I don't deny that..." Dori rejoined, but Bombur cut him off.

"Some advice? I have all the advice in the world for you! First off you have to find ways to calm down your woman now that she's pregnant, but that won't be enough later on..." Bombur looked slightly intoxicated.

"Later on?" Thorin felt overwhelmed already.

"What is going to happen after birth, needs balls of steel..." Bombur roared in laughter and so did Durar. Dori and Gloin smashed their mugs together and drank until their beards were full of mead.

"Well he's got those...I sometimes wonder how he walks straight with these monsters between his legs..." Durar said matter of factly.

A ghostly smile appeared on Thorin's lips, but his countenance was still bewildered with an undertone of irritated.

Dori thwarted Thorin's shoulder hard enough to make him choke on the first sip he dared to take. "Leave the lad alone, he's going to manage fatherhood perfectly. Don't scare him before his woman gives birth."

"Well she getting closer to the date, right? She has certainly become rather big...even though she's as beautiful as ever." Ori twisted his fingers around nervously.

"Even more beautiful you mean. An already stunning woman who becomes even more alluring during pregnancy, must be carrying a boy!" Durar roared and drank.

Thorin looked at him sideways and mimicked him by emptying his whole mug. At that moment he needed any alcohol offered.

"That's true!" -a rather dizzy Balin intervened- "It's a well known fact. If a woman becomes prettier during pregnancy then there's a boy in her!"

Dwalin jerked Thorin by the shoulder and took away his empty mug to offer him a fresh one. "How do you feel then about all this? Do you think she's carrying a boy?"

Thorin looked at his drink truly unnerved and drank it all in one go. "You people are not making me feel easy, I'll tell you that. I don't know if it's a boy or a girl, alright?"

The roars of laughter around, rattled Thorin's nerves. That is when a rather sweet maiden bowed in front of him. "Can I take your mug my King?" she asked timidly.

He pushed it in her hands and gave her an absent smile before looking at Bofur. The Dwarf dropped a rather heavy sack in front of Thorin's feet. "What is this?" Thorin asked with a frown.

"Gifts..." Bofur tried to avert his eyes from the King and attempted to turn away and leave, but Bifur cursed his brother in Khuzdul and pointed at Thorin.

"What gifts?" Thorin brows creased as another maiden arrived with a tray full of mugs.

Dwalin took over the job of distributing them. "Bring more, they are hardly enough," he commanded the bashful maiden.

She bowed. "The bottles are empty my Lord."

"Then take one of the other girls and go to the kitchens to bring us some more!" Dwalin barked at her. The poor girl jolted fearfully and then rushed to the door, giving one last wistful look at the King of the North whom she was seeing for the first time up close and personal.

"Gifts for the baby," Bofur said and crossed his palms in front of his legs.

Thorin took a couple of sips from the drink that Dwalin gave him and stopped. Dwalin's hand grabbed the mug and force fed him the reminder of the drink. "You are not going leaving this place anything short of totally pissed. Get it?" he spat into Thorin's face.

Thorin nodded and cleaned his beard. "I get it! Now get your troll breath away from me!"

"You need this kind of fun before the child arrives. Afterwards you'll be in over your head!" Balin laughed heartily.

"Can you shut up about this already!?" -Thorin snapped, feeling a little more like himself after the two mugs of mead started to warm up his extremities. Then he remembered Bofur who was still standing in front of him like a wet puppy- "Where did you get all these?" He said and opened up the sack to see several wooden toys and a couple of plush ones.

Bofur flicked his shoulders. "I am a toy maker, remember?"

"You made these yourself?" Thorin frowned and his lips parted in disbelief.

It took a long time for Bofur to nod.

"I thought you hated the idea of me and Eilin together..." Thorin raised his brow.

"We have the same taste in breathtaking redheads, right? The best man won. I know how to accept defeat." Bofur raised his eyes steadily on Thorin's.

The King's mouth formed a sweet smile. "Thank you for taking the time to make all these. I am sure that Eilin would appreciate it if you took them to her."

Bofur's face brightened up. "I can? I mean you'd let me?"

"She thought she lost you as a friend. She will be happy to know that isn't true." Thorin continued calmly.

Bofur reached out and grasped his hand. "Thank you and ...forgive me. My attitude ...you know...before...was inexcusable."

Thorin head inclined gently. "It's alright. Let bygones, be bygones. I am happy Eilin has such a good friend in you."

Bofur's eyes teared up and he averted them as he picked up his sack. "I'll take them to her."

"Anytime," Thorin smiled and that is when another mug was shoved into his large hand.

"You are hardly touched by the mead yet. That month you locked yourself in Thror's study truly increased your tolerance to alcohol. We need to do better than this." Gloin roared and everybody laughed.

"You can say that again," Thorin whispered with a raised brow and emptied his mug.

Again and again he drunk, getting slowly drawn in by the happy disposition of his comrades. Then the singing started and every voice chimed in, but the one that reverberated upon the cavern walls the most was Thorin's rich melodious undertones that dispersed waves of goosebumps to everyone attending and made the maidens gaze at him coyly under their long lashes.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to cook today? I think it'd be better to give some instructions and let Loa do it." Dis followed Eilin who was waddling hastily through the corridors that led to the kitchens.

Eilin smiled. "I know how much he likes my stew and I want to please him. He's getting so tired everyday and I do absolutely nothing more than eat, sleep and knit new clothes for the baby." She stopped and took a deep breath- "Or the babies. Hope Loa could tell me for sure already. I am getting rather worried." She added.

Dis' pursed her lips. "Sometimes it's difficult to tell, but I am sure Loa will figure it out sooner or later. I must admit though that the men in our family had always been rather tall for our kin with Thorin being the tallest by far. Judging by that I'd say you have a pretty good chance of carrying one baby in you and it has taken after the size of my brother, which will be magnificent for the heir to the throne of the North."

Eilin smiled and flicked her shoulders. "If I ever manage to deliver them. How will I ever be able to do that?"

"Your body knows very well what to do, worry not," Dis reassured her.

"I hope you are right," Eilin rejoined.

"At least your pregnancy is going great according to Loa. There is no danger for you to miscarry anymore as she informed me." Dis engaged Eilin's elbow.

Eilin's brow wrinkled in annoyance. "Apparently no. She even allows us some careful intimacy, but does Thorin take advantage of that? No..." Eilin waved in the air as if she wanted to disperse Thorin's unwillingness away with her hand.

Dis cringed bothered. "I am not sure I want to hear about my brother's sex life...really."

Eilin snorted and pressed Dis' hand. "Sorry..."

Dis reciprocated. "It's alright, no matter my unwillingness to hear such things, I do know you have no one else to share them with. I will grit my teeth for you. Tell me...does he refuse your intimacy?"

"He refuses to give me his, because he's afraid he might harm the babies...or so that is what he tells me." Eilin sounded a bit bitter.

"I can certainly see Thorin going crazy about not hurting his children, but why do I have a feeling you don't believe him?" Dis raised her brow.

Eilin paused right outside the kitchen doors that were slightly ajar and whispered. "Look at me!" she pointed at her body.

Dis smiled. "I am looking. So?"

"Do I look appealing to you?" Eilin pressed her lips annoyed.

"What do you mean?" Dis frowned.

"Does this look appealing?" -she pointed at her round belly- "do these look enticing to you?" she grabbed her hips with her palms above the silk material of one of the pregnancy dresses Dis had given her.

Dis sighed in understanding. "Oh, dear, you are going through that phase."

Eilin crossed her arms and felt her eyes tearing up. She didn't know if her pregnancy was causing her to be this emotional or her fear that she was not sexually desirable to Thorin anymore.

"You think he doesn't desire you?" Dis tried to hide her smile.

"How can he desire me? Look at me! I am a bloody mess! Fat and slow. I cannot even walk! My clothes don't fit me and I cannot see my womanhood anymore! I can barely see my toes unless I lean down! As for my breasts they are almost twice the size and so swollen I can barely touch them!" Eilin wined.

Dis chuckled.

"Don't laugh! I cannot find a proper position to sleep without hurting. I lay back and my waist is killing me. Prone position is out of the question and it was always my favourite. When I lay on the side my ribs are killing me. I am becoming as big as a walrus and rather moody because of it! He did all this to me!" Eilin's eyes thinned in anger.

Dis covered her mouth. "Oh, yes he did."

"And now he doesn't want me!" Eilin snapped.

Dis grabbed her hand. "Calm down my angry beauty. How do you know he's not attracted to you anymore? That's just an assumption. I am certain my brother is simply trying to be respectful to you."

"I told him Loa allows us to become intimate and he refused point blank! He knows how much I want him! If he desired me as well, he would have had me by now!" Eilin said and felt tears running down her cheeks.

Dis raised her hand to stop her. "Okay first and foremost stop...don't become so graphic! Second calm down. My brother loves you more than life and he's trying to respect your pregnancy, that's all."

"I know he loves me, but I don't know if he desires me anymore. I don't want him to respect my pregnant body, I want him to do other things to it!" Eilin's lip pouted.

Dis rubbed her forehead. "For Mahal's holy beard, I am going to have bloody nightmares after this."

Eilin shook her head. "I am sorry, but this is affecting me too much."

"The proper course of action is talking to him about it." Dis said calmly.

"I've done that, not once, but many times over. He insists to abstain because he doesn't want to endanger my pregnancy." Eilin closed her eyes.

"Exactly what I have been thinking then." Dis flicked her shoulders.

"We haven't been truly intimate for a long time. The moment Loa allowed us, I wanted to jump straight to bed with him. The moment he found out, he decided it was best to go bury himself in his office to work!" Eilin spat vehemently.

Dis covered her mouth in order to hide her mirth. "Some men have a difficulty switching roles between expectant fathers and husbands. Maybe that's the case with Thorin, I truly cannot know. Maybe he has a difficulty seeing your body in any other way, but the temporary home of his child now."

Eilin rolled her eyes. "That's exactly it. He sees me as nothing more than a pregnant blob..."

"I didn't mean it like that!" Dis chuckled.

"But I did! Will he ever see me as a woman again I wonder..." Eilin's eyes overflowed with tears again.

"I am sure after delivery, everything will be back to normal my dear." Dis rubbed her shoulder to reassure her.

"Will it? What if he never sees me as a partner again and he only sees me as the mother of his children from now on?" Eilin inhaled sharply.

"This pregnancy is making you truly paranoid, which is partly excused. Try to think clearly please. Thorin can't live without you..." Dis frowned.

Eilin gasped Dis' hand tightly. "What if he starts seeing other dwarrowdams as more alluring than me? You know, women who don't resemble a rolling hill."

"You won't look like this forever. You are getting closer to delivery, your body will return back to normal in a couple of months. I am sure that even now Thorin finds you very sexy and appealing..." -Dis rubbed her eyes wanting to expel this conversation away from her somehow- "I really don't want to talk about this..."

"But does he really? How can I be sure? He is not giving me the proper signs..." Eilin's eyes turned sad and uncertain.

Dis opened her mouth to calm down Eilin's irrational, pregnancy fed, insecurities when the voices that came from within the kitchen stopped them.

_"Well, if it wasn't our lucky day today. Serving the King's company!" a young playful voice said._

Eilin grasped Dis' hand and pulled her away from the door. "What are you doing?" Dis frowned.

Eilin hushed her and pointed towards the gap, needing to overhear what was being talked about her husband.

_"It's strictly a male gathering. I still wonder who convinced the King to allow us to serve him and his court." Another more mature voice replied._

_"Who cares! We got to see so many handsome Lords!" a cheeky voice rejoined._

_"Many of them rather impressive to be sure," the playful one intervened._

_"And most of them, if not all, married!" the mature one scolded._

_"Who cares, even married Dwarves have the right to admire a beautiful dwarrowdam", the cheeky one rebuked teasingly._

_"Oh, be serious youngling!" the mature one's voice became heavy._

_"What? Do you think these imposing Dwarf Lords didn't offer us small gazes of appreciation?" the playful one said proudly._

_"I think you are out for trouble young lady," the mature one responded solemnly._

_"I am not out for trouble, I just know what I saw and more than one pair of eyes was on me this evening!" The playful one giggled._

_"Many eyes were on me too!" the cheeky one added._

_"You are both fools beyond count!" -the mature one admonished- "And I have better things to do than listen to fairytales."_

_"Fairytales? I'll have you know that the most handsome of them all couldn't keep his eyes away from me..." the playful voice teased._

_"Hush your insolent little mouth!" -the mature one chastised- "You are talking about the King of the North! Our valiant King!"_

_"He's still a man..." the cheeky one intervened._

Eilin's face paled and Dis shook her head. She pulled Eilin to her angrily. "Don't give them any notice! They are simply fooling around!" She hissed.

_"A man who has a very beautiful wife!" the mature one reproached._

_"Who also happens to be very pregnant and unable to fulfil his needs most probably. You think he doesn't need any intimacy? Didn't you see how he was looking at me?" the playful voice drawled._

_"Want a bit of honesty?" the cheeky one replied._

_"Sure!" the playful one sounded annoyed._

_"He was looking at you indeed, but not much differently than he was looking at me!"_

_"You are just jealous..." the playful one admonished._

_"Will you both silence your mouths about our King! You should be ashamed of yourself! His wife will give birth soon. Instead of taking care to help the Queen, you sit around drooling over her husband!" the mature one snapped._

_"It was mutual because he was also drooling over me..." the playful one teased._

Eilin's jawline flexed angrily and so did Dis' hand on her forearm. "Steady! Calm down!"

_"And he gave me the sweetest smile ever, didn't you see?" the cheeky one added._

_"Shut up!" the playful one rebuked._

_"You both shut up!" the mature one cried and that was followed by silence. "Now pick up these bottles and take them up to the royal dining cavern. Then you get back down here immediately. You are not to remain there and prowl around our very engaged King who is also a father-to-be. Dwarves don't act in these despicable ways. They choose their One for life!"_

_"Who said we are going to tease him in any manner or form? We are just acknowledging that he enjoyed seeing a couple of young, shapely maidens instead of looking at the Queen who lately is becoming heavier than Beorn!" the cheeky one said and the two of them giggled._

_The mature one grumbled. "Forget it! You are both dismissed from this service. I will take the bottles up myself. Enough with your silliness!"_

_"Oh, come on..." -the playful one wined- "when am I ever going to find another opportunity to get close enough to the King to enjoy his beautiful eyes again?"_

_"I will make sure never, and you...shut up! Not a word!" the mature voice said and that was followed by silence accompanied only by the clanging of bottles._

Eilin leaned back to the wall and her cheeks were filled with tears. Dis frowned. "Are you crying?"

Eilin averted her eyes and shook her head.

"About a couple of common women fantasising over my brother?" Dis tried to wipe her tears away.

Eilin pulled away.

"That's been happening to him ever since he entered early manhood. It's not something new for heaven's sake." Dis tried to explain to Eilin the reality of this situation.

"Didn't you hear them?" Eilin whispered.

"Oh, I heard them alright and I will make sure they get punished." Dis frowned.

"Didn't you hear what they said about me?"

Dis pressed her lips.

"About how fat I am and how unwanted? How Thorin needs to look and admire other shapely women? Didn't you hear what they said about him admiring them?" Eilin's voice was diminished.

"I am sure that was just their overactive imagination. I've seen many women envision that Thorin admires them when he actually doesn't even know they exist." Dis shook her head calmly. This has been something so common for her that she couldn't understand how it could affected Eilin so much.

Eilin shook her head. "They were right though, weren't they?"

"About what?" Dis' brow creased.

"About how undesirable I truly am..." Eilin lowered her eyes at her stippled fingers.

"Your body is changing drastically exactly because you were so desirable! My brother couldn't keep his hands off of you and that is the reason you ended up like this!" -Dis grumbled and then cringed- "I really hate talking about him in this manner. My stomach keeps revolting at the image...have mercy on me."

"Maybe they were right. Maybe he doesn't want me anymore." -Eilin muttered- "Maybe he enjoys looking at these beautiful and thin maidens."

Dis grabbed her shoulders in order to shake her to reason. "These beautiful and thin maidens are not even close to comparing with your beauty and charisma. They are just enraptured with the unattainable King. Making up whole stories about how a stray look at them means so much. That he secretly admires them and probably wants to bed them, when in reality he won't ever care if they don't appear before him again. You were a maiden. You've been in their shoes. You saw how quickly and how intensely he prowled around you. How he insisted in showing you his interest. He didn't just offer you a couple of vague looks. He did everything he could to get you close to him, even against the advice of his court. Get your head together please. When Thorin decided that he wished to be near you he did everything to let you know. Don't listen to the silliness of these younglings. They are just lusting after what they cannot get. Thorin is so used to female attention that he doesn't even acknowledge it anymore. That should tell you a lot about how he felt for you since the start. Women flocked around him ever since young adulthood, but he responded to none. The way he responded to you, should ease your mind about everything else you heard tonight."

Eilin looked up at her with a pair of sad eyes. "My heart is feeling so angry and bitter right now."

"Talk to him." -Dis gave her a firm nod- "Let him ease your worries about everything since I cannot do it for him."

"I don't know if I am mad at him right now or at me." Eilin frowned.

"Just because a couple of maidens fan themselves over him? Where's his fault in that?!" Dis smiled.

Eilin shook her head. "If he did look at them...if he admired them..."

Dis spoke over her firmly. "Talk to him! Mad or not, go find him and settle this once and for all."

"When?" Eilin looked up timidly.

"Now!" Dis frowned.

"Now?" -Eilin asked confused- "He is with his comrades and his court, how can I interrupt him?"

Dis looked at her very confused. "Interrupt him? You are his wife, not his maiden. You can interrupt him anytime you please, unless the fate of Erebor is on the line!"

Eilin sniffled and twisted her fingers nervously around each other. "The fate of Erebor isn't on the line now, is it?"

Dis cupped her cheek and smiled sweetly. "No, my darling girl. It isn't. Go find your husband and tell him how you feel."

Eilin nodded and looked at the floor for a couple of moments. "What about these women?"

Dis waved her off. "I'll deal with them."

Eilin nibbled her bottom lip and pressed her fingers hard as she tried to decide what to do. Finally after a few moments she shook her head. "No, I am the one who must deal with them."

Dis looked at her carefully for a couple of moments and then smiled. "Go for it."

Eilin's sad disposition took a few tense moments to become contorted with irritation and she gave a curt nod to the princess before throwing the doors of the kitchens open. "Good evening." She said with a firm voice and looked at two admittedly beautiful dwarrowdams and an older lady.

They all blanched when they saw her. The older woman bowed. When she saw the younger girls frozen in time she kicked one at the shins and gave a mighty slap on the other one's nape. "Bow for your Queen!" She commanded.

They came down to their knees.

Eilin squared her shoulders and flared her chin up proudly. She crossed her hands under her growing belly and raised her brow. "Am I interrupting anything?" She didn't think her voice could have ever sounded this haughty. Especially since several months ago she was in the place of these women, hiding under a hood.

"No my Lady, we were just sorting out these bottles of mead." The girl whose voice Eilin recognised as the playful, said shyly.

"Are you in the middle of some chore?" Eilin raised her brow slowly.

"We are serving the King and his court up in the Royal dining cavern." The girl she recognised as the cheeky one replied, only now her tone had lost every single drop of impertinence and it was slightly shaking with apprehension.

Eilin gave them a curt nod. "So you are free to assist me."

The girls looked at each other. "What about the King my Lady?" they both bowed.

Eilin's brow lifted another inch. "Oh, I am sure my husband won't even notice that you are missing."

Both paled and averted their eyes as they shrank away from the Queen's imposing presence.

"You" -she pointed at the older woman who immediately bowed- "Take these bottles to the King. As for you two young ladies..." She drawled.

They quivered in their boots.

Eilin sauntered to the table and pulled up a chair. She sat down elegantly and arranged her long silk dress around her legs. "You will assist me with the cooking. I will tell you what to do while I rest my feet up a little bit." -She looked at Dis who immediately understood Eilin's game and pulled another chair in front of her. Eilin lifted her legs on it and crossed them calmly- "You see the heir to the throne of Erebor is too active today and my husband doesn't want me to get tired." Eilin caressed her belly and her lips curled up in a sly smile. She enjoyed immensely seeing the insolence of these two young ladies erasing under her intense scrutiny. Dis crossed her arms and stood behind Eilin's chair, admiring the way the Queen was toying with these women.

The older woman took the tray with the bottles and left quickly. Dis leaned down to Eilin's ear. "Like a cat and a mouse..." She whispered.

Eilin smirked and began ordering around these shapely young maidens, intending to use them in order to cook for Thorin the best stew she had ever made without lifting a finger.

Of course that meant that these unmannerly creatures might need to throw away the cooked food if it didn't please the Queen and repeat the process...several times over.

* * *


	65. One fiery whirlwind

 

* * *

Thorin leaned his head on his hand totally disheartened and looked at Bombur who was describing the birth of one of his sons, which almost tore his wife apart. Something that Thorin didn't want to hear at that moment. Nevertheless Bombur was completely sloshed and could barely realise the negative effect he was having on a much less intoxicated Thorin.

"Two whole days and nights my friend! She was screaming in anguish for two bloody days and I could do nothing to settle down her suffering! Thank heavens I was not attending that delivery or I would have been traumatised for life. My mates kept me rather drunk outside the doors, but I could still hear her piercing cries even through my heavy intoxication. Imagine! Bloody kid didn't want to come out!" Bombur shook his head and drank some more mead.

"I don't think Thorin needs to hear that now," Dwalin raised his brow and Durar's lips curled up knowingly.

"I don't want to hear it either and my wife's finished with all her pregnancies. You are scaring the hell out of me and out of the King," Durar raised his brow at Bombur.

"Oh, maybe I should stop then." Bombur said in a sudden realisation and a rather loud hiccup rattled his chest.

Thorin came alive then. "No, please don't stop." He said a little too eagerly.

Dwalin frowned. "You are asking for trouble it seems."

Durar laughed warmly.

Thorin shook his head. "I want to know what I am up against. I never witnessed my sister's births. Mother locked me out!"

Bombur grasped Thorin's back firmly. "It will be the best and most terrifying experience of your life. You think that facing a horde of orcs, killing Azog or decapitating the arm of the Black Easterling was disturbing?"

Thorin paled.

"Wait till you see a new life coming out of your woman's body, all bloody, kicking and screaming." Bombur chuckled.

Thorin's throat closed up tight and he picked up his mug and emptied it in one go.

Dwalin raised his brow. "No matter how much you have drunk tonight you don't seem intoxicated in the least."

Thorin pointed at Bombur. "He's making me sober up."

Durar's laugh turned into a roaring howl and his belly shook hard until his eyes filled with tears of mirth. "King of the North or not, you are no different than any first time father!"

"Seeing the almighty Thorin being overcome by his wife's pregnancy is something worth all the gems in Erebor's treasury!" Balin raised his mug in a salute that everyone apart from Thorin drank to.

Thorin filled up his mug again and when Dwalin tried to take the bottle away, he raised it and emptied it in one go also.

"Wow! Steady mate...I'd say we leave him alone because he's going to faint and his dead weight is impossible to pick up. Remember when he was wounded?" Dwalin rejoined feeling rather worried.

Ori paled. "Oh dear, I don't want to remember that. I think it was the most traumatising experience of my life."

Dori raised his brow and clasped his brother's shoulder. "Not only yours."

Bombur exhaled hard. "True, it goes hand in hand with my wife's hardest labour!"

"All of us and we still had a difficulty moving you about. Enough drinking laddie," Balin tried to take the bottle away from Thorin who resisted.

"Stand down! I'm not even close to feeling dizzy, never mind fainting. What are you talking about your troll's armpit?" -Thorin said and then raised his mug and drank a good amount out of it also. Then he wiped his beard with the back of his hand and turned to Bombur and the major point of interest. The birth of his son- "Was the boy large?"

"Well, he was rather beefy, but" -Bombur gave Thorin the once over- "None in my family is close to your size...well...height wise I mean."

Thorin closed his eyes and cupped his forehead. "That's not making me feel any better."

"Don't terrorise him! His One has a couple of months to go." Balin frowned.

Bombur refilled Thorin's mug and shook him by the shoulder. "Calm down and focus on each passing day. Now you have another difficult task. You have to handle a woman that is full of pregnancy craziness and that's a handful on it's own."

Thorin raised his brows and gave him a curt nod. "You can say that twice."

"Your job for now is to keep her calm and well rested. Let her gain strength for delivery and for the difficult days after that. Forget about panicking for her labour until the time comes." Durar chimed in wisely.

"I am doing my best." Thorin cringed already feeling overwhelmed.

Balin crossed his arms. "Are you sure you are doing your best?"

Thorin frowned. "Of course I am. What are you talking about?"

Balin gave a nod to the open doors and Thorin turned to look at a rather pissed off looking Eilin waddling quickly down the corridor. Her face was twisted in disapproval.

Dwalin leaned in. "She doesn't look calm."

Thorin's brows met with uncertainty. "Here comes my fiery whirlwind."

"Get ready to be burned." Balin raised his brows.

"But I didn't do anything." Thorin rejoined confused, but no one else had the opportunity to answer as Eilin came and stood in front of their table.

"Look at you people." She gazed around her in distaste.

"What's wrong with us?" Dwalin frowned taken aback.

"All this debauchery..." she tsk-tsked and rolled her eyes.

"Debauchery? This is just a couple of friends having some harmless fun," Dwalin rebuked and crashed his mug against Durar's. They both chuckled and drunk.

"Harmless fun, yeah right! Drinking until you become oblivious of your environment..." Eilin chided.

"Why not? Even the most prudent man needs some fun from time to time." Bombur intervened and looked around him for support.

"Especially when you have a wife and children left behind!" Eilin suddenly snapped at Bombur who swallowed his mead the wrong way and began coughing like mad.

Thorin was looking from his wife to his comrades totally bewildered. Not only the conversation of his friends about the pregnancy had truly taken him out of his comfort zone, but also Eilin's apparent anger that he was unable to comprehend at that moment.

They all looked at each other.

"All of you...well most of you have families left behind. Is it right for you to become totally pissed when you have obligations back in your homes?! Is this appropriate!?" The Queen placed her hands on her waist. She had totally overpowered the whole room with her fiery presence and had subdued every single battle-hardened warlord without any effort at all. Thorin would have been proud of her, hadn't he felt traces of irritation at this unexplained attack.

"Didn't we always drink even though we have families waiting for us back home?" Durar looked around him feeling confused. Everybody nodded, but they were all muted by the Queen's wrath.

"Well if you want to know, I believe what you are doing is wrong!" Eilin snapped.

"So what do you suggest we do my Lady?" Servin asked with a careful smile on his lips.

"I suggest that your women should eliminate these idiotic escapades and get you back home..." Eilin turned at him irritated.

"On a short lease..." -Dwalin chuckled and then turned to Thorin and looked at him amused.

Eilin's brows creased even deeper. "Instead of scaring him about his family, you should become a more supportive friend!" She spat at Dwalin.

"How will I do that then?" Dwalin raised his brow.

"First you start off by not condoning to him getting so drunk that he's unable to remember he has a wife waiting for him to return all day long!" Eilin spat vehemently.

Thorin closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. "Wait a minute..."

Eilin placed her fists at her waist. "I am not going to wait at all! Why are you here, getting drunk when you are supposed to be in our bed at this hour?"

Balin snorted. "She reminds me so much of the way your mother handled your poor father. She had the same assertiveness on him. She was the only one who could overcome the mighty Thrain."

Thorin's nose flared.

"That happens to every man. King or pauper, they are all subdued by their woman in the end." Bombur sighed wistfully.

"You are talking as if you have never been subdued by yours, you bloody idiot!" Bofur said and everybody roared apart from Thorin.

Bofur turned to Eilin and touched her shoulder gently. "I have some gifts made for the little prince or princess in you. I gave them to Thorin, but he said I should give them to you instead. Is it a right time for me to stop you scolding our imposing King in order to offer you this petty gift?"

Eilin's shook her head trying to stop her galloping rage long enough to address Bofur. She looked at the open sack and her heart smiled timidly for a brief moment. "Oh they are beautiful. Did you make them yourself?"

Bofur nodded and his cheeks turned red.

"For me?" Eilin cupped her bosom and Thorin's eyes fell there with a raised brow.

Bofur gave her another humble nod. "I did the best I could for your child. I really like you Eilin even though I may have acted crabby a couple of times back there. I hope you can forgive my poor conduct. I never meant to be such an ass."

Everyone laughed uncomfortably, Thorin's brow went higher an inch more.

Eilin smiled widely and drew Bofur in for a hug that made Dwalin raise his brow at Thorin whose chin dropped menacingly as waves of annoyance begun rushing through his body.

"Thank you, thank you so much! Of course I have already forgiven you and I hope we can still be friends! You are the first one who approached me in this stronghold and I shall never forget that!" she rejoined and pulled back happily. Then she started going through the toys in the sack.

Bofur took of his hat and bowed. "At your services my Queen, whenever you need me. Now I am going go and hide in the back, while you continue to chide all the married men in this company."

Eilin wanted to snort at that comment, but instantly remembered the conversation of those maidens in the kitchens and all her happy disposition got blown off with the wind. She turned to Thorin who kept his steady gaze on her. Everybody around them was drinking except from him.

"Why did you stop? Aren't you going to drink with them?" she raised her brow irritated.

He shook his head slowly and pursed his lips. "Not in the mood anymore."

Her lips scrounged. "Well forgive me for messing up your mood, but if you haven't noticed I am pregnant. I am ready to pop, my back is hurting, my stomach is heavy and your child is killing me in there! It feels as if there is a bloody battle going on in my insides, my head is pounding and I am so totally angry I could cry! Where are you then instead of being next to me, helping me out? You are amidst your comrades having fun! Do you see me having fun?" she grumbled and her eyes burned.

"I saw you having fun when Bofur gave you the presents. Maybe you should keep in his company instead of mine." He hurled at her.

Bofur cringed and hid towards the back trying to get out of the King's sight.

"That is so unfair of you!" she cried and felt her eyes welling.

"Whilst you have been fair to me ever since you came in through the doors..." He let that thought trail.

She didn't reply.

He inhaled deeply and looked at his friends. "Get out of here. All of you!" He commanded.

Everyone picked up their mugs and quickly made it to the exit, happy to stay away from this royal brawl. Thorin remained seated, observing Eilin's distraught features as his friends filed out of the main doors. The guards closed them discreetly. Eilin covered her face and a sob escaped her. "I am so angry at you right now." She spat between hands that were pressing her eyes hard.

His lips turned down as he stood up and rounded the long table. Instead of going to Eilin he walked to the main doors and threw the lock on them. Then he walked purposefully and locked the side doors as well. Eilin heard the heavy clicks and drew her hands away from her face. "What are you doing?" she whispered.

"I am locking us in," he said calmly and walked back to her.

"Why?"

"So you won't run away from me." He said and stood in front of her at a breathing distance.

Eilin averted her eyes to his neck and she swallowed heavily. "I am so mad at you."

His fingers came up and grasped a long curly lock. He twisted it slowly around his finger and then raised his eyes to hers. "Care to tell me why you came so hard on me just now in front of everybody?"

She slapped his hand away from her hair and crossed her arms. "I told you why! I am in pain and instead of helping me out you are in here drinking."

He tilted his head on the side a little and observed her intensely. "Something that I have done several times after we ended up together."

"Not after I became pregnant." She rebuked and her angry eyes engaged his.

"Does your pregnancy get affected if I have a couple of drinks with my comrades of old?" he raised his brows calmly.

Her teeth gritted. "Yes it does! You sit here happily oblivious of my pain, being served mugs of mead again and again by your equally intoxicated friends or why not...by a shapely maiden now and again!"

Thorin's head jerked back in confusion. "Shapely maiden?"

Eilin threw her hands in the air. "Maidens!? Remember? Like me! I used to be a maiden before you planted this warrior in my belly who thinks they are partaking in a bloody war right now!"

Thorin's lips pursed.

"What is it that confuses you so?" Eilin hissed at him.

He looked at her calmly. "It's the word -shapely- that concerns me the most."

Eilin huffed and crossed her arms. She looked rather interested at a few chairs on her side, not his eyes. "Shapely indeed..."

Thorin approached and his large palm cupped the side of her neck. "More shapely than you?" he whispered.

Eilin's heart squeezed and she punched his hand away from her neck. Then she pointed disgusted down at her body. "Do you think this is shapely?!" she cried.

Thorin's brows came up surprised by her ferocity.

She raised her finger at him. "Don't even dare to start your flirty compliments about how you adore my body and it's shape. I look like a bloody cannon ball!" she hollered.

Thorin twisted his lips knowingly and gave her a soft nod. "Oh I see, so why wouldn't I admire the shapely maidens instead of you, right?"

Eilin's eyes met his quickly and they teared up instantly.

He smiled in understanding. "Truth be told your shape is so much more alluring than theirs would ever be to me."

Eilin's chest missed a heartbeat and she tried to drown a sob unsuccessfully. "What?..." she suddenly felt tackled down.

"...It is the representation of my love for you. To me the way your body looks now that it has accepted my love and has allowed it to grow, is incredibly sensual...and believe me I am not the only one who sees how beautiful you are, but many other dwarves appreciate your stunning looks also. Something that at times makes me rather uncomfortable. Bofur is the worst of them all. Do you think I felt good seeing you happier with his gifts than you were with seeing me?" Thorin said and raised his hand again to meet the side of her neck. The back of his forefinger drew a gentle path from her jawline down to her clavicle.

Her brows came together decisively. "Forget Bofur! He means nothing to me."

"It didn't seem that way when all of a sudden you forgot your wrath towards me to act all coy with him and his presents." Thorin raised his brow.

"I swear I see him only as a friend! Are you trying to twist this around? Bofur was never the point of this argument!" Eilin frowned deeply.

"Indeed...what was the point of this argument except from me getting drunk with a couple of comrades? I am just blowing off some steam Eilin before the baby arrives. What's wrong with that?" he cupped her neck gently.

"And you cannot blow off steam with me then? You have to do it with dozens of bottles, surrounded by all that testosterone while you are being served by two of the most shapely maidens of Erebor?" she hurled at him.

His brows raised in slow understanding and his lips parted. "There we go with the shapely maidens again. This one goes deeper than you simply hating me drinking, doesn't it?"

"You desire the company of your friends more than mine, aren't you? You prefer to feast your eyes on those maidens instead of coming back to our rooms to try and care for my pained and bloated body. I know that's true!" She wiped away her tears angrily.

He licked his lower lip and frowned. "So now I also resent taking care of your bloated body, is that it?"

She looked down at her hands and avoided his eyes.

"If I say you sound utterly ridiculous right now will you get even more mad?" He raised his brow.

"You cannot convince me that I am desirable to you anymore! I look bloody disgusting and don't even try to calm me down by telling me how my body is sacred because it is carrying our child. I am a woman apart from a mother and the woman in me feels damned neglected!" She met his gaze fiercely again and tears overflowed her eyes.

He swallowed a dry throat and his eyes rolled down her chin until they lingered on the deep crack of her bosom that was compressed by a rather alluring red silky pregnancy dress. "You have this so wrong, that it's bloody painful to hear."

She closed her eyes and averted her head. "The woman in me needs your attention! So what do you do instead of giving me that attention? You come here in order to enjoy the beautiful bodies of those maidens in the company of your drunk friends!"

His palm opened up to cup her neck again and his forefinger smoothed over her jawline. "I was enjoying what?" he frowned.

"Their bodies." Eilin's bottom lip trembled.

He pulled her in by the neck. "When did I do that?"

"Don't act as if you don't remember. I overheard them talking about this down at the kitchens..." she sniffled.

His mouth gifted her forehead with a gentle kiss. "So what were they saying?"

"How you were looking at them intensely. How expected that was since your wife currently is anything but beautiful. That you are a man who needs to admire shapely women and not someone who resembles Beorn! You know what Thorin? They are bloody right!" Eilin tried to pull her head away from him, but he kept her steady gently.

His lips smoothed down her temple and placed a soft kiss next to her ear. "And you believed their ramblings?"

She nodded and forced herself not to curl her fingers around his wrist as her instincts told her to do.

"Eilin I've been in a relationship twice in my life. I dedicated myself to two women in the timeline of two centuries." His lips curled up into a small smile.

Hers curled down.

"Do you comprehend how easily I could have had any woman I wished for?" his brows met as his mouth opened up to gift the side of her ear with a warm kiss that raised goosebumps on her arm.

Her lips parted.

"Yet I chose to become intimate only with two women, both of whom I wanted to marry. One whom I still intend to marry... if she wants me after all this," he allowed his breath to touch her ear and send shivers down her spine.

She was unable to stop herself. Her hand came up and curled around his wrist, keeping him there.

"Little do the petty gossips of two maidens matter to me and even less should they matter to you," he whispered.

She felt her spine curling inwards. "How can I do that, since I know that's the very thing you have been discussing with your comrades under the influence of the alcohol."

"So you heard what we were talking about?" his lips parted and his nose got buried into her hair and drew in deep whiffs of her beloved feminine scent.

"You were all laughing...I assumed you were talking about the girls..." her breath hitched when his free hand came around her waist and pulled her in. Her large bump stopped her body from touching his and she blew a whole bout of irritation through her nose.

He smiled gently and moved a little to the side until her bump was out of the way. Then his palm sailed up her spine causing her myriads of small shivers. When it reached the middle of her back he flushed her against him. "I assure you I was anything but laughing and it is a great folly to assume." His quiet tone soothed down her nerves. His hand left her earlobe and got buried under the small hair on her nape, caressing that sensitive spot softly.

Eilin's eyes closed down in delight. She wanted to hold onto her anger, but his gentle ways were starting to get through to her. "So what were you talking about?"

"Your pregnancy..." his mouth left her earlobe and pecked it's way gently to hers.

Her lips parted in anticipation without her even realising. "Of course what else would interest you in me? Only the mother..."

His brows creased, but his lips didn't hesitate to plant an open kiss at the cute hairpin of her delicious mouth. "I can't get through to you today, can I?" he whispered.

"I am not desirable to you anymore." -her eyes burned once more at the thought- "that is why you are not becoming intimate with me even though Loa gave us permission to try with care. My company to you lately is a burden, that is why you chose the company of your friends...and other women."

"I don't even know who these women are! If you brought them in front of me I wouldn't recognise them." His hot breath caressed her skin.

Her fingers pressed his wrist, but she remained silent.

"So you have deduced that I am keeping away from any intimacy because I don't desire you, not because I want to respect your pregnancy and all those various aches and pains you are always talking about, right?" he spoke calmly as his soft lips lingered over hers. Caressing hers with each word he uttered.

She shook her head. "How can you desire me...look at me..."

"I am looking at you and you are bewitching my mind" -his lips moved above hers softly and her stomach twisted deliciously. His mouth captured her bottom lip gingerly and her breath caught- "I am tasting you and you are capturing all my senses."*

A small exhalation of bliss escaped her and her hands acquired a mind of their own. They overlooked her brewing anger and climbed up to his biceps until they found a steady grasp on his shoulders...and there they remained enjoying the tight muscles under her palms.

His hand sailed away from her back and rounded playfully up to her ribs until it could burrow under her armpit. That is when they both froze and held each other's gaze, calculating the dynamics. She felt her lips curling upwards involuntarily. "Don't you dare..." she warned.

"Never..." he scrounged his lips and then his finger tickled her. She yelped and tried to twist out of his grasp.

"No! Thorin no...!" she cried and laughed uncontrollably.

His strong hands grabbed her under the armpits, picked her off the ground and flushed her against him as her laughter filled up the silent cavern. He cupped her cheek and spoke over her lips. "You have the misconception that I care how round you are turning out to be? You are carrying my child. The thought of your naked body alone is enough to fire me up, but I am doing the best I can to respect your pregnancy Eilin. I desire you more than all the treasure of Erebor. All those times you offered me pleasure weren't proof enough of my insatiable need for you?"

"It was, but you never initiated intimacy with me...I was always doing all the work." She whispered and her arms wrapped behind his nape keeping him close to her.

"Because I didn't want to hurt you, don't you get it?" His lips rested upon hers for a few moments.

"I am trying to accept that, but I cannot. I love that you are respecting my pregnancy, but I need you Thorin and if I feel that you don't need me, then there is an imbalance." Her features became intense.

He blew a whole bout of annoyance upon her cheek and reached out to taste the soft ridges of her lips. "Can you shut up for a moment?" he spoke in a hushed tone and asked gently for entrance in the soft wetness of her mouth.

She wanted to chide him more, she wanted him to reassure her with words that he desired her and not those maidens, but his mouth made it very hard for her to concentrate on what bothered her the most at that moment. There was no doubt that she would finally give in to his gentle probing. It was a lost game for her from the moment he pulled her inwards and enfolded her in his arms. She didn't want to allow him to soothe her down with a couple of kisses and then send her on her merry way like he always did. She clawed his nape fiercely and his lips parted allowing a painful moan to escape into her mouth. He frowned down at her. "Now you are out to offer me pain?" He asked gently.

"No, I am out to show you my intentions..." She whispered at him with a hoarse voice full of insinuation.

He smiled and leaned down to explore her mouth tenderly at first causing her eyelids to feel heavy as her fingers traced his bearded jawline, but Eilin's abstinence had gathered rivers of desire behind her constricted countenance. She didn't want him to go slow on her and she certainly didn't want him to stop. Her lust for him was so unbearable that it began oozing out in sizzling waves when she felt his tongue dancing around hers in skilful pirouettes of passion. A playful hand left his nape and decided to claw his deltoid above his tunic, delighting on his muscles clenching underneath. His palm planed slowly past her ribs and she inwardly prayed that he wouldn't stop like always. So she decided to voice it. "Don't stop."

She felt his lips curling up as his mouth became once more insistently dominant on hers. Then his large palm brushed the side of her swollen breast gently and her whole body came to attention as she prayed silently for him to grope her. He kept her there precariously longing for him to do more as his mouth related to her that his intentions this day might be a little more than a means to soothe down her anger. Her nails dragged on his skin, picking up his tunic along the way, making a tight fist out of it and she released his mouth in order to burrow under his chin. Her insatiable hunger for him materialised as her soft lips opened up to allow her rough teeth to draw in a large patch of his skin sucking it greedily.

He reciprocated exactly as she had wished, by opening up his palm and rudely cupping her breast with an animalistic groan of gratification.

She mewled thrilled on his neck and siphoned his skin so hard, yearning to leave a purple love bite on him as a testament for those maidens that this gorgeous man belonged to her...for life. He whispered something unintelligible to her as her keen lapping had left his whole left side numb and his knees weak. His hand cupped the back of her head keeping her there, yearning to feel her teeth grazing on his skin roughly and a hiss of pleasure echoed near her ear, sending a wave of thrill down her spine that ended up between her legs. That warmth in her core got even more pronounced when his hand mauled her breast several times before he murmured something that resembled anger towards Eilin's heavy golden embroidered vest.

"What?" she panted on his hot skin.

"Too many clothes between us..." he stuttered as Eilin's visceral need made her move to the other side of his neck with the same aching longing to eat him up.

His inability to feel her breast above all that clothing was making him steam up fast and his fingers grazed the naked skin of her bosom. When the image of Bofur pressing Eilin's bosom on his chest returned to him, Thorin felt his jealousy flaring up and he became mad towards that provocative cleavage and decided that he wanted to ravage it. He pulled her breast above the hard material of her vest, until her nipple was peeking out timidly. His fingers tunnelled through her hair and pulled her away from his neck with a roughness he was barely able to control. He expected her moan to be that of pain, but was pleasantly surprised when he heard undertones of passion hidden in her mewls and his fingers twisted into her mane with ferocity. Another hot objection came from her, but it didn't last long as the wetness of his mouth engulfed her taut peak.

He felt the strong shudder of pleasure rippling through her body and hummed on her breast making her arch up to him, searching for more contact. The slick muscle of his mouth twirled that peak around it's wet hotness until Eilin's body convulsed, consumed by her desire for him. One hand kept her flushed on his body while the other came behind her back to untie the strings of her vest.

"What are you doing?" she stammered as his hungry mouth left her buzzing nipple and planted dozen of kisses across her chest, until it could meet her other neglected breast.

"I am getting you naked." He rejoined flatly and his hand pulled the string free until the vest fell defeated between their legs. She shivered when the coldness of the air hit the warmness of her aroused skin.

"Tell me you aren't doing this to soothe down my fears. Tell me you want it as much as I want it." she whispered.

"I lust after you like mad. Now am I allowed to get my wife naked in order to have my filthy ways with her?" His hand found the hem of her silk dress and burrowed under it offering her large stomach a gentle caress that send all her hair in attention and her body awareness into perplexed embarrassment. His actions showed her how much he desired her, yet feeling him caress her bump made her highly sheepish. He smiled down at her truly amused. "Oh, you hate this..." He whispered.

She opened up her mouth to explain, but he didn't allow her the time. His hand left her baby bump quickly and skimmed the underside of her breast. He looked down at her lustily, as her eyes closed and her teeth captured her bottom lip in anticipation. A soft knowing smile formed on his mouth as his fingers traced around her peak a few times, delighting in the way her skin was rippling with goosebumps. "But you do love this..." He deducted with a hoarse voice that send a wave of need down her core.

She nodded stupidly. "Be truthful Thorin. Doesn't the sight of my naked body turn you off?" she whispered and tried to find his eyes, which were adoring the luscious lump of her breast that was hiding under the silky material and the outline of his fingers as he kneaded it gently.

He heard her question, but his throat had grown dry by the hardness of her nipple that was grazing his scarred palm. When his fingers pinched it gently she responded with a throaty exhalation and a stomach that was pooling with scorching heat. He opened his mouth and ate hers almost ravenously. She had no choice but to allow him all dominance as her body was riddled with small eruptions of bliss by what his hand was doing to her breast and what his mouth was relating to hers. He wanted to show her what she was doing to him with actions, not with words. His free hand reached up to grasp hers tightly. Then he led it firmly down his stomach until her fingers could trace his substantial erection above his trousers. He pulled back panting and she met the fire in his eyes with equal ardour. "You made me this hard, not the shapely maidens. It's you I want to devour. Not them..." his voice dropped and Eilin's insides melted just from his tone alone, never mind the words that send her mind reeling into the void.

Her fingers demanded to feel him above the rough leather and a stream of lava flowed between her legs. "I missed you so much..." she whispered.

"Oh, I missed you too...you have no idea," he frowned and his eyes were glazed with a raunchiness that only assisted Eilin's internal void to become more painful. Just as she was getting ready to undress him, he pushed away from her suddenly.

"What are you doing?" she felt unstable on her feet without his solid presence to keep her aloft. Now that her stomach was full of butterflies and her heart was drumming so hard it was ready to flee her chest she didn't feel secure without him holding her.

He unbuckled his wide belt and allowed it to fall to the floor. Then his vest and tunic followed until he was half naked across from her. His eyes gave her body such a thirsty look that her internal muscles squeezed with the desperate need to clench that thirst for him. After so many months of patient dryness she was flooded with desire. Her eyes rolled up and down his torso and lingered on his multiple wounds, but especially on the one that took his life. She swallowed dryly and caressed her jawline until her teeth captured her finger.

He felt his mouth watering. "Don't do that." He frowned.

Her eyes left his scarred torso and captured his. "Don't do what?"

His throat convulsed. "That thing you do with your finger."

A small knowing smile appeared on the corner of her well kissed lips. "Oh, you mean this?" she asked teasingly and looked at all the expressions that paraded from Thorin's eyes as she sucked her finger in. Then her eyes looked at the muscles of his forearms and stomach constricting. When she understood how much this was affecting him she stepped off her boots, but didn't make any attempts to take off her airy dress. She kept rolling her tongue around her finger seductively, while her other hand picked up the soft material of the dress, revealing her smooth thigh to his ravenous eyes. She moved the material up slowly, enjoying the tension on the muscles of his neck and the way his jawline flexed when she revealed her firm breast to him. "You like that?" she cooed.

He swallowed heavily and his eyes left her breast with difficulty in order to meet hers. He remained tensely silent.

"Maybe you'd like this more?" she smirked shamelessly and her fingers trapped her peak and twirled it, to his delight. She allowed her chest to release a heavy moan that echoed in the cavern indecently and closed her eyes, wanting to show him how much she was enjoying to touch her own body. She was enraptured by how much she could affect him and she wanted to see how far she could push him before he came undone for her. She longed for the manifestation of his need for her body. She cracked her eyes slightly open in order to admire his face in rapture and then made another bold move by allowing her hand to leave the wetness of her lips and sail south until it got buried between her legs. She squeezed her womanhood tight, trying to forget the large bump hovering above it and bit her lower lip. "This one needs you...a lot..." she murmured and looked at him invitingly.

She heard the low predatory growl across from her and her body tensed in anticipation a mere moment before he engulfed her. His strong arms picked her up easily and she wrapped her legs around his waist as much as her stomach allowed her. His mouth found it's way to her neck and he took a mouthful of her sensitive skin between his teeth. The shock of that sensation made her arch and cry out in pleasure. She delighted in the warmth of his body and mouth enclosing her from every direction. Just before he set her upon the dining table, his mouth lapped the base of her neck so hard that her body erupted in almost violent goosebumps. Her nipples became so taut, they ached when he pulled the cleavage of her dress under them. Then he released her bruised neck in order to devour her peaks, making them send echoes of unbearable desire to her already burning core.

She rocked against him, needing to feel his weighty arousal offering some form of relief to her desperate womanhood. Her creamy need had soaked her airy underwear and she felt them sticking uncomfortably on her, but she didn't dare pull away from him. Now that she had him between her legs, half naked and drunk with the aroma of her skin she wanted to seduce him until he gave in for her. Each time she rocked on him he responded with equal fervour, until finally he abandoned her well lapped breasts in order to look straight into her eyes. The hunger she saw in them was almost animalistic.

She expected him to attack her mouth with another ravenous and dominating kiss, but instead he pushed her down to the table. His hands lifted up her dress from the hem and kept her legs open as he kneeled down in front of her. Just knowing that he was looking at her most intimate part was enough to set her mind unable for any logical process. Her hands grasped the edge of the table for support and her toes curled inwards in expectation. When she felt his lips coasting on the inside of her thigh she moaned out loud and threw her head back. When his tongue came out to lap her generously on the sensitive skin of her inner upper thigh she bit her lower lip so hard that she tasted blood. When his hands touched her underwear she held her breath expecting him to pull them down her legs carefully, but instead her eyes flew open and she released a surprised cry when he tore them apart. "Oh hell..." she hissed as the cold air felt unwelcome upon her dripping channel, but that didn't last long as the warm wetness of his mouth engulfed the most sensitive part of her body and of her soul at the same time.

"Don't start this unless you finish it..." she stuttered and felt the world melting around her.

He pulled back slightly in order to answer with a deep voice that resonated through her insides. "Oh, I do intend to finish it...hard..." He hummed right onto her core and she convulsed unwillingly under him.

After that Eilin remembered little of what obscenities she uttered as she urged him to never stop what he was doing. The moment his slick tongue reached out to twirl gently around her core all caution was thrown out of the window and he forgot all about protecting her pregnant body from harm. All he wanted to do now was see her pregnant body twist and bend under the immense pleasure his mouth was offering. He wanted her to finally realise how much he desired her and how difficult this sacrifice had been for him during this time of forced celibacy.

As for poor Eilin with him buried between her thighs she had little chance of holding onto her sanity. She half cursed, half begged him as he lapped her mind out of order. She moaned and opened up her legs wide for him in a signal of surrender and felt the climatic bliss she longed for so much, galloping quickly towards her, under his skilful handling. Just as her body tensed and arched, ready to abandon everything for him, her mind stepped in and stopped her. She raised a hand and grabbed a fistful of his thick mane, pulling him up.

He looked at her through a glaze of carnal lust that made her internal muscles quiver. Her lower body slowed down with a clench of regret as her orgasm pulled back. "Not like this Thorin...I need you...please." She whispered and their eyes engaged intensely.

He frowned and stood up. His fingers hooked under one knee and pulled it up until her calf was thrown above his shoulder. Then his mouth opened up to suck on her knee cap with a slow sensuality that made Eilin's heart skip a beat. The contrast of his soft wet tongue and the roughness of his beard on that new spot caused a thundering sensation in her that send waves of heat into her lower stomach. "I don't want to hurt you," his lips parted.

"For the sake of my sanity don't stop now Thorin, I beg you." She said and her nails clawed the centre of his chest, exactly on the tattoo that he had made for her.

His eyes seared into hers with a heat that echoed deep into her heart as his hand fumbled with his trousers. Just looking at him offering her such a eloquent stare...just hearing him lowering his trousers...just knowing that he was positioning himself was enough for her toes to curl inwards in expectation and for her breath to get trapped into her chest. When his weighty arousal plunged into her scorching heat it felt like a waft of fresh air blew through leafs in a warm summer's day. A long drawn, throaty exhalation of relief emptied from her chest and she felt weightless.

Eilin felt no pain, but an overpowering sexual desire to draw him in deeper and keep him there forever. Her muscles squeezed him tight and his response was a rough bite on her knee cap. She mewled words that meant nothing more than her gratification as he filled up every void in her body, physical and emotional with this single swoop. She searched blindingly for him, needing to touch him. His fingers stippled through hers and he used their joined hands to keep the thigh that was not hanging from his shoulder wide open. A deep groan she couldn't have ever stopped erupted from her chest as he began a series of deep thrusts that blew fog over every single thought in her mind. She had missed his body filling her up so wholesomely that tears edged her eyes. She pulled herself on him, drawing him deeper and saw the muscles on his face melting and his eyes closing. The back of her knee hooked hard on his shoulder and the other leg locked behind his hips and the depth of his penetration made her eyes roll to the back of her head. She leaned her head back and released a succession of lusty whimpers that followed the pattern of a steadily seductive rhythm that he set for both of them. She felt at home once again, abandoning her body to his care and knowing that he would surely lead her over the edge as he had done so many times before.

She had already been worked up to near orgasm a few moments ago by his mouth and the way his body was grinding against hers in that particular position was making her regain the depth of her previous ecstasy fast. Even though she was used to him controlling the game for both till the end and she felt secure of his unwavering control, this time something was askew. His steady plunges began shifting to a more hard and deep pounding that declared a demand out of him she hadn't seen for a very long time. She opened her eyes slightly and felt her body being pushed upwards with each hard lunge. His partial loss of control assisted in spreading unexpected pathways of pleasure all over her lower body and the cavity of her chest released loud throaty exhalations in response to this change. She didn't remember ever seeing him lose control over their intimate encounters and she delighted that this rare effect on him was caused by her body...by her pregnant body. Her chest filled up with all the love she had for him and her eyes welled when she understood how much this meant not only to her, but also to him.

"Don't...stop..." she heaved and gritted her teeth against the sensations that began coming down to her like cannon balls with each deep thrust, but she was not the only one who was losing it and fast.

This time he was losing control fast also. Even though he always secretly praised his ability to last long enough to please a woman repeatedly, this time it was not so easy for him. Seeing Eilin spread open for him like that, with her firm breasts rocking and her dress gathered around her midsection was enough to make him lose every single inch of restraint. Watching her hair spread like a red blanket upon the dining table, covering plates and mugs and her lips parted to allow soft mewls of pleasure to echo in the cavern was enough to drive him mad with lust. Looking mesmerised at her neck flushing from the heat that engulfed her body and her chest undulating fast was enough to unhinge him. He unhooked her leg from his shoulder and pulled her foot to his mouth hungry to taste it. When he bit her instep her groan was so deep it echoed into his very soul. His hips released all his sexual frustrations for her in a series of thrusts that elevated her voice a tone higher. The louder her voice, the quicker his pace, until he could feel the fire inside screaming to be released deep into her burning heat. He tried to stop himself from erupting and to wait for her release first. He tried to think of something ugly, something nasty, something to pull his orgasm back, but it was simply impossible. One look at Eilin's face in ultimate ecstasy was enough to send him careening to the edge of the world. The feel of her boiling wetness milking him was enough to destroy his iron will. He closed his eyes knowing that there was no turning back for him now and he prayed that he would last long enough to please her...just a little bit more...

Eilin saw it in his face and felt it deep inside her. She knew he was close and even though she was almost there too at that moment all her priorities shifted. She looked lovingly at his face and longed to see him come undone as unhindered as he looked now. She wanted to delight at his unstoppable desire for her and tensed her hips swallowing him whole.

"I love you Thorin." He whispered.

His response was a harsh cry of release and a pair of rough teeth on her shin that made her jerk violently. She fought to keep her eyes on him...to feast on the utter expression of rapture on his face and knew she was about to touch her own light. His hard thrusts as he emptied himself in her and above all the look on his face, were mercifully enough to push her off the edge. She felt an animalistic groan tearing through her chest and her teeth broke the skin of her lower lip. Her body clenched and quivered uncontrollably and his trembling arms tried hard to keep her aloft. They clutched onto each other as their bodies rode down their joined release for several breathless moments.

He leaned his head onto her belly and tried to stop his body from shaking too hard. It took him long to gain the ability to speak again as his mouth lingered open and hot above her quivering stomach. "Calm down...please please calm down", he begged, whiplashing her skin with his panting exhalations as her chest trembled and shook with the reminders of her explosive release.

She snorted and giggled blissfully under him. "I don't want to calm down! I want to enjoy every inch of bliss you have given me!" she grabbed onto to him tightly, not allowing him to pull away.

His palms smoothed over her bump gently trying to make sure that her fierce convulsions had now stopped. "Did you calm down?" he whispered.

She felt a few final precious tremors galloping through her body and she wrapped herself around him. "I feel perfect. Don't you dare stay away from me this long, ever again. Pregnancy or not, I need you Thorin..." she murmured close to his ear and his body exploded with goosebumps.

"If this didn't trigger your labour I don't know what will." He sounded more worried than regretful.

"Maybe if we tried this a couple of times more, my labour will end up being easier," she said and closed her eyes with a smile of utter bliss.

His forefinger skimmed down her cheek. "I almost didn't manage to please you this time." His voice held a shadow of shame in it.

She beamed up to him lovingly. "I felt your loss of control and I absolutely adored it!"

He nestled his chin between her breasts and offered her a coy smile that warmed up her stomach. "This happened because I don't desire you..."

She chuckled and closed her eyes. "Fine you win! Your performance today settled down all my doubts."

"I hope we didn't cause any harm to the babies though..." he reached down and caressed her growing belly with his rough palm.

"Babies? It is not yet certain they are twins." She opened up her eyes to find his affectionate stare caressing her soul.

He raised his brow. "Nothing wrong with hoping is there?"

Her lips curled up in a bright smile. "You'd like us to have twins?"

He nodded gently and drew her up. He enfolded her in a firm hug that she reciprocated fiercely. As she rested her head on his shoulder, his hand came between her legs to check for any traces of blood. "I'd like to have as many children with you as Mahal will bless us with."

She chuckled and pushed his sweaty hair aside in order to kiss his warm neck. "You don't intend to allow me to rest at all then?"

He shook his head and sighed in relief when he saw that she was clean. He reached up and wrapped his big palms behind her head protectively. Then he placed a loving kiss on her forehead. "I will love you fully each and every time, unless you command me otherwise. I hope that blesses us with more children."

Her arms squeezed him tight. "Then I shall never command you of such a thing, because I'd love for us to have a big family!"

He smirked and wiped some sweat away from her brow. "Even though your body is changing, it's becoming undesirable and you are going through so many aches and discomfort?"

She closed her eyes and snuggled against him. "If you are next to me, none of these things will matter to me. I am willing to go through this as many times as the Gods bless us with."

He smiled and kissed her temple. A deep exhalation of solace caressed the side of her head. "No matter how amazing I feel with you right now, I cannot help but worry about how upset you had been with me before."

Her lips scrounged. "If you had listened to these girls in the kitchens you would have gotten upset also. One of them was almost swearing you were about to take her as your mistress."

He inhaled deeply and frowned. "Do you know what having a One means Eilin?"

She tensed in his arms and closed her eyes tight.

"Dwarves don't break marriages my love. We don't have mistresses, we don't fool around." -He frowned slightly upon remembering Nyrthrasir- "At least the majority of us don't have our moral compass askew. I don't know what you have experienced in that tavern, but this is not the way of my kin. When we chose our One, we devote our lives to them till death. As for my case and the two times I was given the opportunity to love...I really don't know how that happened. Maybe it is because I died and I was offered another opportunity in life and love. I have eyes for no one else, but you. No matter how much your body changed now or will change in the future I will always be hungry for it. Our souls are forever bonded, remember? What is happening between is far above the physical realm my beloved." He spoke gently while caressing her belly.

"I know." She agreed feeling very humbled by this intense experience with him today, but above all by his words.

"That shall never change. My soul is devoted to you and our family. I don't care what any maiden says about me behind my back. This kind of frivolous nonsense had been happening to me ever since I was a young boy..."

"Dis told me." Eilin's lips tilted up as she felt thoroughly sated, loved and comforted.

"I never gave any notice to these silly gossips. They mean nothing to me and the women spreading them mean even less. Similar gossips are being spread about you if you should know. Everywhere you hear Dwarves weaving poems about your beauty and about their ability to be better suitors for you."

She frowned and pulled back. "Who says such things?"

His finger came up to trace her sharp eyebrow and lingered on the goose-trail of her eyes. "My whole kingdom sings about your charm and your compelling appeal. There isn't only one Dwarf that would have wanted to be in my stead."

She snorted and shook her head. "I don't care about them."

A lopsided smile formed on his lips. "As I don't care about these maidens. Do you understand now?"

She exhaled and closed her eyes. "I do my love. I am sorry for acting so erratically before."

"I've been warned about all this from my friends, don't worry. Your pregnancy makes your emotions run amok." he raised his brow.

"Oh, so that is what they have been doing! Warning you about how difficult I can become...great!" she sounded annoyed, but in reality she was anything but.

"Don't turn mad again. They were just trying to help me, although I must admit they were doing it rather crudely. I am a fast learner though, worry not. I took in every single bit of advice they offered." He smirked down at her.

"I am jealous of this camaraderie between you and your comrades," a sad tone echoed in her melodic voice.

"Don't you have the same support from Dis, Loa, Rhiannon and of course little Lis?" he asked her quietly.

She cuddled on him and nodded. "Yes, I do you are right..ouch!" she grumbled then and grabbed her belly.

"Tell me you are not going into labour!" he looked shocked down at her.

"Did you feel that?" she looked up at him with wide eyes.

"I sure as hell did...that was a mighty kick." He said hesitantly.

"Told you it feels like there is a battle going on in there sometimes." She caressed her stomach and then settled against his chest once more, needing to hear his strong heartbeat giving her solace.

"Do you think we bothered our child with what we did?" he sounded so earnestly shameful that her heart welled.

"You sound dreadfully embarrassed!" she noted.

"I am." He admitted.

Her palms smoothed down his back and delighted at the softness of his skin above the roundness of his muscles. "I don't think our child understood what we did, but maybe it felt my release."

Thorin's hand pulled her under his chin and he exhaled hard in her mane. "Don't like the sound of that." He cringed.

She kissed his chest and her hand came around to caress protectively the large scar on his abdomen. "Hush now. I am sure our child approves of us loving each other. Shall I fix your mood with some food?"

He looked down at her confused. "You cooked for me?"

She nodded and scrounged her lips to him. "Hmmm..let's say I made a pair of shapely maidens cook your favourite stew...which they failed to do correctly on the first try."

He raised his brow. "Oh, the mighty Queen got her revenge. What did you make them do then?" He asked and sounded happily proud of her.

"Made them throw it away...thrice." -She smirked playfully- "And then labour for it again a fourth time, which was pretty satisfactory."

His chest rumbled with an honest laughter and she rejoiced in it. "Pity I missed that!"

She snorted and kissed his chest. "They did the job in the end."

His face mellowed down and his finger touched gently the side of her lips. "Come to think of it...why did you go to the kitchens in the first place? Loa is taking care of that for us."

Her lips kissed the ball of his finger. "I went there with the intention of cooking for you...before deciding to punish these insolent women."

"You wanted to cook for me even though you are going through such discomfort?" He frowned at her.

"Yes." She smiled sweetly at him.

He found that action of hers so affectionate that he leaned down to captivate her lips in a gentle kiss that filled her stomach with butterflies and his back with goosebumps. When he finally drew back she was looking at him dazed. "Thank you." He whispered.

"I'll cook for you all the time if you allow me. I love taking care of you."

"Then please do..." he offered her a dazzling smile and they kissed again. They kissed long and hard before he allowed her to lead him to the empty by then kitchens in order to share with him a stew that was brewed by her jealousy along with a severe dose of love.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> * Small easter egg for any Harry Potter fans out there.


	66. Double trouble

Thorin's long fingers secured Eilin's hips and his voice rumbled through the sensitive skin of her neck. "Heaven above you are going to kill me." He was out of breath and his voice was hoarse and subdued.

Eilin cupped his other hand that was almost rigid around her full breast as he was coming down from the ecstasy that she had offered him. Her fingers clawed his buttocks as he gifted her with a few precious fading thrusts of passion and her stomach quivered from the breathtaking orgasm that had erupted in her a few moments before he unravelled for her. "I don't know who is going to kill who..." she whispered and leaned her head back to the pillow giving him ample view of her neck. As he rocked inside her his mouth opened up and gnawed the side of her throat ravenously. Her skin exploded with shivers of pleasure and the taut peak of her breast got chafed by his palm. He hummed and her lower body convulsed discreetly at his tune. "Sweet Eru...Thorin..." she smiled and tried to catch her breath.

"Your thirst for pleasure is absolutely unquenchable. I'll probably die before I manage to satiate you." He whispered upon her skin.

Her fingers pressed his buttocks firmly and she hissed. "You are my spark of ignition. You are driving me crazy!"

His lips curled up in a smile and his tongue came out to lap her generously before he whispered. "So we will either kill each other, or drive each other crazy. That's not good news for our child."

She snorted and reached behind to grasp his head. In this position, with him spooning behind her, she not only enjoyed this intimate session immensely, it also didn't bother her ever growing bump at all. "I loved this position, let us not just keep it reserved for my pregnancy days, alright my love?" She whispered and her fingers caressed his nape playfully.

"As you command my lady." He reciprocated the playful touch around her hips.

She giggled.

"I am not sure that acting this intensely upon our urges is good for your pregnancy to be quite honest. Each and every time we finish I hold my breath, expecting to see you get into labour. Your orgasms are way too intense for your poor overworked body." He said softly and nipped her ear. He didn't withdraw his fading arousal from her and she found a good opportunity to snuggle back to him in order to enjoy his strong body, filling her up and enfolding her at the same time.

"I do believe that one of these days, one of my releases is going to bring out our child too. In fact I am quite sure of that, but I don't see it as a problem. We are actually helping my body get prepared for labour. You are doing me a favour! Doesn't it feel magnificent to know that you are helping out your wife and at the same time we are both enjoying our intimate moments?" She smiled and her nails drew soft paths of reassurance on his muscular forearm.

"You will search and find any excuses that will allow us to become filthy, aren't you?" He smiled.

She giggled. "You can be sure of that!"

His hot breath send shivers down Eilin's spine. "I both love and hate this. I don't want to keep my hands away from you and also I don't want you to come to premature labour." He admitted.

"Yet you are claiming me fervently every single day... sometimes even more that once!" she raised her brows and tried to give him a playful look above her shoulder.

His lips captivated hers and she shuddered when his tongue rolled into her wet cavity and engaged hers for a few leisurely moments. Her throaty moan of appreciation seeped into his mouth and he closed his eyes in delight. When he pulled back a soft smile was on his lips. "You asked me to do it, and I said I'd try." He whispered.

Her fingers left his forearm and came back to caress his cheek gently. "That's not trying...that's an overkill."

He chuckled and she felt her heart swelling at the depth of his beloved rich voice. "So you'd like me to try less now?" he teased.

Her fingers squeezed his cheek and she nibbled her bottom lip. "Don't you dare!"

This time it was not a chuckle, but a full blow laugh that exploded dozens of colours behind her closed eyelids. She laughed with him. "So I will keep on pursuing you till one of these tries ends up either with you in labour or with me dead." He raised his brows.

She snickered. "I was so worried when at first you sounded so reserved in your promise to try to make love to me during my pregnancy, remember?"

He nodded and kissed her earlobe gently. "I know, so how about now?"

"Now I am worried I am not going to be able to keep up with you soon." She whispered with a smile of utter bliss on her well kissed lips.

His finger brushed her cheekbone and ended up tracing her eyebrow gently. "I won't let you rest until it is time for you to give birth."

A small cloud of uncertainty stained her perfect features. "So therefore let us enjoy these precious moments between us, because I won't lie to you Thorin...that is what scares me the most."

He frowned and gave her cheek a soft kiss. "I know it does, but you won't be alone."

She closed her eyes. "I know I made you promise this so many times, but can you do it one more?"

He smiled. "I promise that I will be there for you when the time comes."

"Even if Erebor is in ruins?" She whispered.

"Even if Moria marches all it's armies upon my doors!" He chuckled.

She snorted. "You are going to go out and tell them to take a break while I give birth?"

He nodded. "I will ring the trumpets and command them to camp outside and wait for you to deliver my children. Then I will gird myself with Orcrist and I will slay them down to the last one."

She laughed then and he delighted in the honesty of that laugh. "My strong warrior King, always there to protect me."

"Always there to protect our family, with my life...that is a promise." He said solemnly.

She bit her lower lip and felt her eyes burning. "I love you." She said in a hushed tone.

"And I adore you." He reciprocated and they held each other tightly for a few silent moments.

She exhaled and snuggle back on him again. "I don't want to think of you in a battle, nor me in labour. Let's think of other things...more pleasant."

His mouth curled up. "Like?"

She began munching her bottom lip as the playful mood returned to her and she pushed her hips back to him. Even though he was placid, she was still feeling his beloved virility resting inside her and that was causing her lower body to remain vaguely tense, as if preparing for another session. "I was thinking about the ring I told the head jeweller to make for you."

"Are you in a rush to put a ring on my finger?" he smiled.

She felt her lips curling up. "Of course I am! Especially after I realised that our engagement, my pregnancy and our impending wedding are not enough to stop women from drooling all over you!"

His deep laugh resonated through her body, waking up the small hair on the back of her nape. "The ring won't stop them either." He rejoined.

She humphed trying to sound annoyed, but she truly wasn't. There wasn't anything that could destroy this precious feeling of wholesomeness she shared with him at that moment. "Then how about locking you up in a dungeon so I can be the only one admiring your gorgeous looks?" She teased.

He tilted his head. "That could work. You'd have to pledge your loyalty to the next King in line though. Are you up for that?"

She giggled. "Nope...no...I will accept no other King for Erebor...well until our child comes out that is."

He smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Therefore I will forget the dungeon and settle down with the ring and then with shaving any woman who dares to look at you the wrong way."

He laughed warmly. "I agree, but we have to keep this relationship balanced my beloved."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You will wear my ring and I will also shave anyone whose look is even a little bit indecent towards you." His voice held a tone of playfulness she enjoyed thoroughly.

She flicked her shoulder and he bit down on it...hard. "Ouch!" She tunnelled her fingers through his thick mane. "Alright! I find that just and fair."

He nodded and drew his teeth away from her skin to offer it a soft kiss that send shivers down that side of her body. "Good, that means that my Kingdom will not have anymore bearded men in it. Only bearded women."

She snorted. "Why?"

"Because I will have to shave all of them!" His slow rumble vibrated through her stomach, making it tense.

She laughed and her fingers caressed his hair, enjoying it's silky softness. "What's my ring like?" She whispered.

"A surprise of course...mine?" he spoke on her temple and she delighted at the warmth of his breath.

"A surprise...but will you wear it indeed?" her brows clouded slightly.

His head nodded softly on hers. "Was there ever any doubt? I have already passed a decree for this."

She smiled. "You went in this full force, didn't you? That means that everybody will be obliged to exchange rings?"

"Beads, flower crowns and jewellery are just the beginning. The rings will be the final public declaration that the couple belongs to each other." He said quietly.

"Why do I have the feeling that your men will curse me to the afterlife?" she said feeling a sudden wave of mirth.

"Because they probably will and I cannot blame them." He rejoined.

She looked above her shoulder with a frown. "You are confusing me. On one hand you pass a decree on this idea of mine and on the other you sound terribly regretful that you have to wear a proof that you are a taken man!"

"As if my kingdom needed a proof that I am taken. Everybody knows that already." He chuckled.

"Nevertheless..." she said seriously.

"...Nevertheless I will be proud to wear your ring my dove. I am just uncertain how the other men are going to feel about this. I find it extremely fair and just, but we have all lived with these set rules since Durin first walked these sacred lands. Let us give people the opportunity to warm up to the idea alright?" He settled down on his pillow and she felt him pulling out of her.

She frowned and pushed back again. "I have a feeling that the dwarrowdams will warm up to this decree faster than your men."

He smiled. "I have a feeling you are right. Now lay back with me."

She did so and exhaled. "You need to sleep?"

He smiled and his forearm came under her breasts to pull her on him. "I wouldn't say no to some rest, you?"

She closed her eyes and caressed her belly gently. "My eyes are closing down already."

He took her long hair and placed them out of his way. Then he blew on her nape to cool her down and she shuddered in pleasure. Soon enough deep sleep drew both her and him in it's dark embrace.

* * *

When he woke up again she was still asleep and he didn't wish to alert her. He covered her up and got dressed without any hurry. He hoped this day would be quiet enough to allow him to concentrate on the preparations of his coronation. A day he intended to surprise Eilin with their wedding, something that she was not prepared for since he never gave her a set date for it.

With a bright mood and feeling rather sated and well rested he walked to his office in order to start his plans for the day. It wasn't long after he entered and asked Balin for a warm brew, that the door knocked and Dwalin came in looking more preoccupied than Thorin appreciated at that moment. Today he didn't want to be bothered about anything else than his coronation or his wife's needs.

He looked up from his scrolls. "Tell me you just woke up moody and there is no real reason behind that stare."

Dwalin crossed his arms. "There is a reason behind it."

"I don't want to know." -He rebuked and looked down at his scrolls again- "Relate it to Fili."

"This needs your attention. Not Fili's." Dwalin rejoined thoughtfully.

"Is Erebor on fire?" Thorin said indifferently.

"No."

"Are we attacked by hordes of orcs?" Thorin raised his brows, but didn't draw his attention away from his scrolls.

"No."

"Are we under a dragon attack?"

"No."

"One of the seven kingdoms under siege?" Thorin continued unconcerned.

"No."

Thorin looked up. "Is Eilin in labour?"

Dwalin exhaled. "No...listen..."

Thorin shook his head. "Then I don't care. You take care of everything else between you. You have six high Lords to relate our problems to, use them! I don't want to know." He sounded dismissive.

Dwalin remained silently patient and leaned on Balin's desk.

Thorin concentrated on his work again, but after a while the heavy lingering gaze of his best friend, managed to annoy him. He looked up and threw his quill down. "Fine, say it!" he grumbled.

Dwalin raised his brows. "Nyrthrasir attempted suicide again."

"Is that a serious reason to bother me with?" Thorin's brows creased angrily.

"He served your purpose. What's the point of keeping him locked up?" Dwalin rejoined.

"Because no matter how benevolent people think I am, I sometimes need to act vengefully against those who hurt me and my family." Thorin sounded stern.

"You've had your satisfaction. You used one criminal to get rid of the other. He cannot do anything more for you. It's his wife I pity and I know you pity her also." Dwalin said quietly.

Thorin exhaled and leaned back. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"So when are you going to release him?" Dwalin crossed his arms.

"Who told you I am?" Thorin looked at him stealthily between his fingers.

"You didn't kill him on the spot, therefore you intend to release him at some point. When...?" Dwalin flicked his shoulders.

Thorin sighed. "I intended to let him boil in oil for a long time."

"Myrna won't last...think about her for Mahal's sake." Dwalin cringed.

Thorin's fingers drummed on his desk impatiently. "What did he try to do now?"

"Cut his veins with some rocks. We chained him up again." Dwalin's lips turned down and he looked at his boots.

Thorin nodded and took several moments to deliberate on this. When he finally spoke he was calm and decisive. "I'll go down to see him."

Dwalin's lips lingered inexpressibly for a few moments before offering his friend a wide smile of approval. "That's the friend I know...a heart of gold."

Thorin shook his head. "It's his wife that I care for, like you."

"I believe it's more than that. You have seen yourself in him, haven't you?" Dwalin raised his brow.

Thorin frowned deeply.

"He sacrificed everything for his family...as did you. Even his life, as would you." Dwalin rejoined.

"As would everybody. Don't compare me to him. I'd never become an infidel to Eilin." His pitch dropped in a low warning.

"That's the only thing that separates you from him, but can you say you've never made mistakes?" Dwalin said quietly.

Thorin observed him for several moments before turning his eyes to the fire.

"I can't..." Dwalin continued.

"I cannot either..." Thorin whispered and his eyes got lost into the orange flames.

Dwalin remained with him for several moments where they both looked at the blazing fire under the hearth without talking. Finally Dwalin stood up and rubbed his forehead. "I have to go train Lis."

A small smile cracked on Thorin's lips. "How is she doing?"

Dwalin's lips turned down. "She has more potential than I would have ever thought possible for a woman...I mean a girl..." He crossed his arms and grumbled a curse of Khuzdul under his breath.

Thorin smiled. "This makes you so uncomfortable, doesn't it?"

Dwalin gave him a murderous look. "Training a woman? Really? She can barely lift a real sword. We are using wooden ones. I feel like I am playing around, not truly training someone who will partake in a battle someday! This is a joke...I mean do you truly expect her to become a warrior?"

Thorin leaned back and crossed his hands under his chin. "Many things I have never expected happened after you people brought me down from Ravenhill. I don't know if Lis will manage to hold her own in a battle one day, but I am willing to give her a chance to try. How about you?"

Dwalin huffed and averted his eyes. "I am doing my best with her, but it will take a long time for her to even lift a proper sword."

A knowing smile formed on Thorin's lips. "Choose one from the armoury more suitable to her size. Bilbo managed to hold his own with a smaller sword. Now give her a chance to learn from the best. I am sure that Loa will appreciate your efforts deeply..." he allowed that thought to trail.

Dwalin looked up sharply, unable to hide his emotions.

Thorin's smile grew a little bit wider. "Give Lis the best of your knowledge and who knows...maybe this young girl will end up to be someday one of your fiercest warriors. I have seen the fire that burns inside her and it is way too bright to be contained in the dress of a maiden or a midwife. She was born to do more than that and she knows it. I trust in her, but above all I trust in you."

Dwalin humphed and pointed at Thorin. "I am doing this partly for you...but most of all for her mother. Just so you'd know!"

Thorin nodded calmly. "I know that."

Dwalin held the gaze of his best friend for a few tense moments before closing the door behind him with another inaudible curse in Khuzdul.

* * *

When Thorin was left alone he decided to pass his time down at the library researching everything he could about Eilin's ancestry. It was a good opportunity to keep himself locked away from everyone who demanded his attention, as almost no one ever went down to the library of the Elders. Here in his office he was an easy target as it was proven by Dwalin who found him almost the moment he went in.

Even though Eilin had declared that she didn't want to learn anything about her father, he still wanted to give this a try. Maybe after giving birth and focusing on her own family, she'd feel the need to learn more about her parents and he wanted to have a head start on her, if she ever had a change of heart. It was the way he always worked around problems...planning several moves ahead just to be on the safe side. If Eilin never asked him he wouldn't reveal anything. If she ever did he would have all the answers ready for her, hoping that they would be able to heal that very much bruised part in her heart, that still ached her so deeply.

When he made it to the library, he buried himself amidst his beloved books for a long time. Nevertheless for some reason he was unable to put his famous concentration at work today. Maybe his inability to study was because he was too tired, maybe because he needed to check on Eilin or maybe ...he winced and closed one of the heavy leather bound volumes with a sound that echoed in the vast cavern that was lit with hundreds of shining lamps.

...maybe it was Dwalin's words that made him unable to focus on the runes of these ancient texts. He sat at the edge of the desk and deliberated long and hard before bolting the doors behind him and heading down to the dungeons. It seemed that today no part of Erebor could contain him and he was unable to start a job and finish it. Maybe if he took care of this one, the weigh he felt in his heart would finally be lifted up and he'd feel relief. He walked the long archways and endlessly winding stony staircases without hurrying. Enjoying the quietness of the place until a couple of voices interrupted his silent internal debate. He stopped and looked up at one of the overpasses.

"What do you mean that's an order?" the man said surprised.

"The King has already passed a decree on it!" the woman rebuked sounding pissed off.

"What an absurd idea!" the man rejoined.

"Why is it absurd then!? Am I not wearing your token of love? Am I not wearing your ring? Why shouldn't you be wearing mine!?" the woman's voice elevated.

"Because I am the man of the house! I don't need to wear a female token in order to declare I am taken! You should trust me to deliver such a thing through my conduct!" He rebuked angrily.

"Oh really now? Then maybe I should get rid of your ring and declare that my conduct is enough proof of my loyalty to you. How about that?" the woman spat.

"We are Dwarves! We bond for life and dedicate ourselves to our One till death! Why do we need such tokens to prove this to each other?" the man grumbled.

"Okay then! Don't wear my token and I will throw yours away!" She spat.

"Throw away my ring! That's an offence!"

"Then I won't. I will cherish it, as you will cherish mine. Why are you so annoyed for having to wear my ring?"

"I am not annoyed!" the man yelled.

"You certainly seem so!" the woman cried back.

Thorin snorted.

"Well, make me a ring then and I shall wear it if the King orders us!" the man spat.

"Only because the King orders us?!" the woman rebuked.

"For heaven's sake...woman...what do you want from me this morning?! You are driving me mad!" the man sounded truly spent.

Thorin shook his head and continued on his way, muting this rather spirited exchange between the couple. He wished that Eilin would have been with him to see what her idea was causing to some couples in his kingdom. As he walked down the spiral staircases that dangled above the deep chasms in the heart of the mountain, he lost that vague mirth he gained from overhearing these people and his lips turned down in dark broodiness. When he finally reached Nyrthrasir's cell, he remained with his hands crossed behind his back and his eyes thoughtfully observing his boots. After several silent moments he nodded to the guards and they opened the door.

He entered quietly and walked up to Nyrthrasir's bed. He stood like an angel of darkness, mute above the sleeping man with expressionless eyes for what felt like forever. When the Lieutenant finally opened his eyes and turned to face Thorin the tension was so thick both men could feel it seeping through their bones.

Nyrthrasir licked his dry lips. "You are here...This isn't a dream is it?"

Thorin raised his brow and shook his head slightly.

"When you asked me the question, I answered to you..." Nyrthrasir's voice was almost to an end.

Thorin's lips twitched slightly.

"You told me you demanded an answer and I gave it to you with all my heart. I dealt justice for my dead baby, but also for you and your beloved."

Thorin remained coldly impassive.

"I lifted that sword and pierced through her heart not only because I wanted to avenge my wife and dead child, but also because I wanted to atone myself in your eyes." Nyrthrasir's voice was barely heard.

No reaction from Thorin.

"I never did though...you buried me in this dungeon again even though you knew this was going to kill my poor wife."

"I won't be held responsible for the well being of your wife. Especially when you didn't have any remorse in belittling mine and almost killing her." Thorin raised his brow.

Nyrthrasir closed his eyes heavily. "Haven't I paid enough for my crimes? Didn't I answer the question you asked? Didn't I act honourably towards my wife and the royal family?"

Thorin's jawline flexed.

"Why are you still punishing me? I don't expect you to set me free. Just please allow me to kill myself. That's all I want." Nyrthrasir whispered and upon those words he was unable to keep up the strong facade he was putting up for the King. He averted his head and closed his eyes as burning tears escaped and cascaded down his cheek, staining his already dirty pillow.

Thorin allowed him a few moments of mourning, before he spoke again. "These stones weren't sharp enough to slice through your wrists..."

Nyrthrasir's chest released a sob. "You don't need you to be so harsh with me anymore..."

Thorin looked around the cell and noticed the pool of blood near a prominence on the rocky wall. " ...thankfully..." he added.

Nyrthrasir's eyes flew open and burrowed into the King's. "Wh-at?" he stuttered.

Thorin tilted his head slightly. "It would have been a real tragedy for your wife to hear about your untimely death and a real burden on me to deliver the news to her."

Nyrthrasir frowned and his dry tongue came out to touch the wounds on his lips. "Don't jest my Lord, please I beg you..."

Thorin raised his hand in command. "What you did to me that night shall never be forgotten. The words you spoke about my One shall never be erased from my memory no matter what you tried to do in order to atone yourself. In my mind there is no redemption for you." Thorin continued disdainfully.

A strong sob rattled Nyrthrasir's chest and his hands twisted against his chains.

"Nevertheless, my heart is a different matter altogether." Thorin said quietly after a long time.

Nyrthrasir stopped twisting in his bed and looked sharply at the King once more.

"The pleads of your wife outside the main archways of the dungeons each and every day have managed to touch my heart. Something that no plead from you would have ever been able to do." Thorin continued and his brows clouded in deep thought.

"Myrna..." Nyrthrasir's exhalation contained part of his soul in it.

"I know that everything you did was for her sake..." Thorin frowned.

Nyrthrasir tensed against the chains. "Only for her!"

"I could judge your infidelity and the chain of hellish events it created for me personally...but I won't. It's pointless at this moment." Thorin's demeanour took a plunge.

Nyrthrasir closed his eyes and bit his lower lip painfully.

"Judging you, punishing you...what will that offer me apart from partial satisfaction which will be erased the moment I look at the face of your wife again?" Thorin spoke heavily.

"If she doesn't yet know of my ultimate betrayal, spare her the knowledge my Lord, please." Nyrthrasir's eyes looked at him in near desperation.

Thorin's expression was remote. "Myrna doesn't know."

Nyrthrasir's eyes filled with uncertain hope. "She doesn't know about the lies I told you?"

Thorin raised his brow stiffly.

"She doesn't know I cheated on her with Karunn?" Nyrthrasir's voice fell.

No response from the King.

"Does she know I am accused of treason?" Nyrthrasir pulled on his chains in despair needing to approach the King as he saw a small glimmer of hope at the end of his dark tunnel.

"She knows you held precious information about a treason against the Royal family, not that you were part of it."

"You kept all this a secret?" Nyrthrasir frowned and felt his tears burning hot on his skin.

Thorin seemed unruffled by Nyrthrasir's emotional breakdown. He raised his brow slowly.

"Why did you do it?" Nyrthrasir stuttered.

Thorin inhaled deeply and crossed his hands behind his back. "I've lived through many ordeals in my long years of life. I've seen hell multiple times and I know what true evil looks like. When you spoke about my wife in this manner you tried to protect yours, not hurt me. There was no true evil behind your actions."

Nyrthrasir's eyes erupted with new tears. "That is what I did!" he cried.

Thorin tilted his head. "You were just a tool of revenge and I am not here to judge what made Karunn able to have such a strong hold on you. That is your own personal hell. You have to live with it and explain it to your wife. Truth is you did the best you could for your pregnant wife, much like I did. I don't want to admit that we are more alike than I would ever appreciate. I don't know if that resemblance speaks higher of you, or lesser of me..." he let that thought trail.

Nyrthrasir didn't even breathe as he didn't want to interrupt the King from unravelling his thoughts.

"I care for the fate of Myrna, I am not going to lie. Being an expectant father, I can empathise with her loss and I feel there is no greater punishment a parent can go through. You don't need to be chained in any dungeons anymore to regret your infidelity, your lies and your manipulation. The loss of your child was punishment enough." Thorin continued unemotionally.

Nyrthrasir was unable to stop the hard sobs that shook his body.

"You may have lost your child, but the great Mahal has blessed your wife with life." Thorin frowned.

Nyrthrasir wailed. "Myrna! I can die for her!"

"You almost did...several times over. That is something I can respect and relate to. You still have an opportunity to atone yourself to her, not me anymore." Thorin rejoined.

Nyrthrasir's sobs stopped abruptly, but his body was heavily trembling when he looked at Thorin through blurry eyes. "How...?"

"I learned that it Myrna's dream was to live here in Erebor. Is that true?" Thorin frowned down at the Lieutenant.

"Y-es..." he stammered.

"Sparing your life was a hard decision I had to take and you have to thank Myrna for that. Thinking about sending you over to Ered Luin to give you a chance to rebuild your life, was an even harder one." Thorin raised his brow.

Nyrthrasir's chest undulated anxiously. "You'd let me go, you'd let us go free?"

"Allowing you to stay here might be deemed almost crazy on my part. Nevertheless you shall remain here. You will join Durar's army as a water boy and work your way up. You will show honourable conduct and loyalty to the Seven or you shall be send in exile with the slightest of causes. " Thorin continued too stonily for someone who was offering another chance to his tormentor.

"You'd let us remain here to serve you? Why?" Nyrthrasir's voice was totally broken. His eyes were burning through Thorin's cold countenance.

"Because of your wife...never doubt that." Thorin raised his brow.

Nyrthrasir closed his eyes and tears of pain rolled down his cheeks. "Th-ank you..." he voice was barely heard.

"You'll have to prove yourself repeatedly to me, to your comrades and above all to your wife." Thorin added.

Nyrthrasir's mouth opened up to release a moan of desperation that penetrated through the walls. He wanted to get up and fall on his knees in front of the King in order to declare a gratitude that couldn't be spoken ever with words. He wanted to cry to the heavens that he would do the best he could to prove to Myrna that he loved her. He wanted to cut his wrists and use his blood to write upon the stony walls of his cell that he'd do everything to prove to Thorin his value as a soldier, but above all the blind loyalty he'd have from now on towards his King, the Queen and the King's children. He wanted to convince the King that he'd place himself as a shield between death and the King's family in a heartbeat. That he'd die not only for his wife now, but also for them. He wanted to say so much, but nothing was able to come out, except from broken sentences, sharp vowels and anguished crying.

Thorin observed Nyrthrasir's deteriorating state for a few moments before tilting his head haughtily. "Most people don't get a second chance. You got a third one...make sure you don't blow it..."

Nyrthrasir tried to touch the King in despair, but his effort was to no avail. He tried to speak, but it was futile as nothing was able to come out of his shaking chest.

Thorin gave another scrutinising look at Nyrthrasir before turning to the guards. "He's free. Unchain him and take him to Oin. Don't allow his wife to see him unless he's in a more appropriate attire."

The guards presented arms and the echo of their weapons thundered through the chasms that were adjoining the dungeons.

* * *

He didn't know for how long he walked around the dangling bridges of the lowest levels of Erebor, but when he made it up to the King's Halls it was the shrieking voice of Lis that drew him out of his heavy contemplations.

"Sir, Sir, SIR!" she screamed and ran up to him.

He grabbed her by the shoulders to stop her from falling on him. "Calm down! What did Dwalin do to you?" he asked, deducting that his best friend probably went too hard on Lis after their conversation this morning.

Lis looked confused as hell. "Lord Dwalin...nothing...we trained and then I went to my mom...and Sir we have a problem! I was sent to find you!"

"What?" he shook his head confused.

Lis pointed back out of breath. "Lady Ei-lin...pa-in, mom is with h-er and La-day Dis. Ba-by is coming!" she stammered.

Thorin was at first confused by her attempts to relate what had made her so upset, but when she finished her broken sentences he pushed her out of the way and she fell on the floor with a groan of pain. Thorin advanced furiously for a couple of steps before coming to a halt. He looked back at her for a moment. Then he rushed back, grabbed her hand, pulled her up and began running up to the Royal chambers dragging Lis behind him.

When he reached their rooms the guards pulled out of his way a mere moment before he opened up the doors. They crashed to the wall, bringing down a small cloud of debris. He released Lis' hand and the poor girl ran up to her mother who was kneeling in front of Eilin's open legs and was about to go to his wife, when his sister got in the way and stopped him. Eilin turned to him and instead of a mask of pain he saw her giving him the brightest smile she could master. When babies wanted to come out they didn't cause their mothers to smile, they caused them to growl in pain. The face of Eilin didn't go hand in hand with Lis' words.

"What happened?!" he cried and made to go to Eilin, but Dis pushed him back.

"Calm down!" she said.

Eilin reached out to him. "Silence my love please. Just give Loa a moment and we shall explain!" -then she turned to the midwife with an eager face- "Do you feel them?" Loa nodded and gave Eilin a smile.

"I am almost certain, patience my Lady." Loa frowned and concentrated in touching and poking Eilin's belly. She had her hand buried deep into Eilin's insides also, something that Thorin couldn't see from the angle he was at, thankfully.

"What the hell is going on?" Thorin frowned, but after Eilin's reassurance he didn't make any real attempts to push his sister out of the way.

"Is this how you are going to act when she goes into labour?" Dis smiled and kept her long fingers on his heaving chest.

"Isn't she in labour?" -he frowned- "Lis said she was!"

Dis exhaled through her nose. "No, fortunately she isn't, but something happened this morning that caused her belly to tense. It took Loa a long time to calm Eilin's stomach down. That caused her pains that resembled those of labour and we all got confused as to what was truly happening. Loa has been checking on Eilin for a rather long time. Thankfully the convulsions stopped and her channel isn't dilated at all."

"Her what hasn't done what?" he frowned.

"She's not ready to give birth yet." -Dis smiled patiently- "Which is a good thing because she needs a good two months to come to term."

Loa shook her head. "I don't think she'll make it to full term my lady."

Eilin frowned. "The twins?"

"The what?" Thorin intervened.

Dis looked at him warningly. "Can you please stop interrupting?"

"She said twins!" he pointed at Loa.

"That's what she's trying to figure out. If your wife is carrying twins!" -Dis placed her hands on her waist and then turned to Eilin- "Look at him. Lost and confused like a scared puppy. That's why men should stay away from their women during labour. They are not supportive at all. They just cause us more anxiety!"

Thorin pursed his lips and pushed Dis out of the way. "Oh, don't act all high and mighty with me!" he grumbled and reached Eilin in two steps.

Eilin grasped his forearm and pulled him down. "Hi handsome." She smiled affectionately at him.

He sat on the bed next to her and reciprocated the smile. "What happened my love?" he whispered and tried to calm down the hurricane that Lis' words had kick started in his heart.

"When you left I tried to sleep again, but I was restless. I think I drifted off for a little while, but when I woke up again I needed to use the bathroom. I got out of bed with no real problems, went to the bathroom, but after I finished and stood up I felt the pain cramps I get when I have my blood. Only this time they were way too vicious and they echoed so bad in my back that I doubled over. I cried for help and one of the guards busted through the doors. He was the one who brought Lady Dis to me. Rest is history." she caressed his fingers reassuringly.

"Why didn't you call me?" he frowned.

"What would you have done brother?! Bring down the doors and come storming in, bewildered out of your mind? She needed someone who has knowledge to check on her belly, not you at that moment." Dis raised her eyebrows at him.

"Your condescending manner is truly pissing me off!" he grumbled at her.

Eilin pulled him down in order to snuggle against his chest. "Leave Lady Dis alone, she has done the best for me."

Thorin gave one final warning glance at his sister before turning his full attention to his wife. "Are you feeling better now?" he asked softly.

She nodded. "Yes, the pain thankfully stopped, but it was so bad at some point that I couldn't breathe. If that is what labour feels like then I am too scared to go through it."

Loa smirked up from her work. "You don't have a choice my lady. Your labour will hurt a lot more. What you got now was nothing more than some rather serious convulsions around the place were you are housing the babies."

"Why did that happen?" Thorin frowned confused and gazed at Loa.

She raised her brows. "I was hoping you'd shed some light on that regard my Lord," she said with a rather sly smile.

His brow creased. "How can I shed light into something I don't know?"

"Did something happen this morning to cause these convulsions to your wife?" Loa asked and then pushed her hand up Eilin's body making her tense.

He felt it and pulled her onto his chest. "Are you alright?"

She nodded. "It's just a little painful."

"What are you doing down there anyway?" he frowned at Loa.

"Checking to make sure she's not open and also I think I got the bottom of the second baby." Loa smiled.

"Second baby?" Thorin's jawline dropped open.

Loa pulled her hand out and closed Eilin's legs. "I think it's safe to say you are not in labour my Lady and that you are carrying twins in there."

Eilin yelped with happiness and grasped Thorin's hands who smiled down to her. "Twins my love did you hear?"

He closed his eyes and kissed her forehead lovingly. "I heard alright, but I wouldn't mind hearing it again..."

Loa pointed at the King. "First thing first your Majesty. I need to make sure there was a reason behind the Lady's convulsions or else we might need to be more vigilant from now on. Did something happen in the morning to cause this to your wife?"

Thorin felt his cheeks mounting colour and his heart began drumming in his ears. He hated to admit it, but this was the first time after ages that he was feeling deeply embarrassed. "Uhm, like what...I don't recall anything..."

Loa cleared her hands with warm water and soap with Dis' help.

The princess didn't have the same reservations with Loa when it came to her brother. "Where you intimate with Eilin this morning, wolf?" she asked nonchalantly.

Eilin giggled and hid her face onto his shoulder.

"There is a child present!" He scolded his sister.

"A child who came to this world by the same process...now answer!" Dis glared at him.

He bit his bottom lip and felt his mouth tilting sideways. "I might have been..."

"Might? You either made love to her or you didn't..." Dis scrounged her lips and looked at him sideways.

Thorin felt his face on fire and buried it in Eilin's mane. She was giggling hard. "Shut up..." he whispered.

That triggered more laughter from his wife.

"Considering how she cannot keep a straight face and yours is more crimson than the curtains I'd say you two overdid it this morning...right Loa?" she turned at the midwife, making Thorin and Eilin even more embarrassed if possible.

Loa seemed totally unbothered discussing the King's personal business. She actually sounded very professional when she spoke next. "I'd advise you to be a little more careful unless you want the Lady to go into early labour, my Lord."

Thorin nodded and kissed Eilin's head tenderly. "As you order."

She pressed her small fingers around his wide wrist.

"Which might happen anyway, because the Lady is indeed carrying twins and these pregnancies rarely come to term. " Loa crossed her hands patiently in front of her apron.

Dis smiled brightly. "Took you awhile, but you got two birds with one stone brother."

He rubbed his forehead on Eilin's thick curls. Then he peeked from them at his sister with a glare that was supposed to scare her, but instead made her chuckle. "You can try to look all scary and angry, but right now I know you'd kill to be out of here and away from Loa's scrutiny for what you did to your poor wife this morning!" she teased him.

"I owe you for this one..." he grumbled.

Eilin squeezed his hand. "We'll try to be more careful from now on, alright?"

Dis pressed her lips and shook her head, but it was apparent she was having a blast by teasing her large intimidating brother to near submission.

Loa sighed patiently and looked at her daughter. When their eyes met it was as if Lis got a silent approval to speak and she expressed her own worries immediately. "That means I have to protect two children?"

Her light hearted comment was enough to diffuse the tension the Royal couple felt about placing their intimate affairs under public scrutiny. Loa caressed her daughter's hair gently. "Indeed you must. Are you sure you are up for it my love?"

Lis' smile was bright and confident. "Of course I am!" -then her original fire seemed to extinguish under the King's calm stare who was looking from the safety of Eilin's embrace- "But I need to train harder Sir! I mean Lord Dwalin has been training me real hard, but I need your assistance too!"

Thorin smirked. "Was that a gentle way of telling me that you missed me?"

It was Lis' turn to feel her cheeks burning up. She cupped them and smirked. "Yes Sir..."

Thorin's smile brightened up the whole room. "I'll train you after I finish with my wife alright?"

Lis' eyes grew wide. "Today?"

Thorin gave her a gentle nod. "Yes."

Lis clapped her hands and grabbed Loa's waist. Her mother embraced her and caressed her hair. She then turned to the King and the Queen. "Now, who wants to feel the babies?" she asked.

Eilin was way too slow for Thorin who disentangled from her and jumped up. "Me!" he cried.

Dis cupped her mouth and laughed.

Eilin felt her eyes overflowing with tears at seeing the eagerness of her husband to feel their children. She wanted nothing more from life at that moment.

He looked around at all the people staring at him. He felt a wave of uncertain embarrassment rushing through him. "If that's okay I mean." He added quietly, something that made Eilin want to kiss him to kingdom come.

Loa came around and lifted Eilin's dress to reveal the big bump. They could see with their own eyes the small hills and valleys the babies created with their movement. Thorin felt irresolute. He didn't know what to do, but thankfully Loa came to his assistance. She took firm hold of his hand and led it to Eilin's bump. "Feel this?" she said.

He touched it and the sweetest smile Eilin had ever seen came over his lips. "Yes!" he said ardently.

"That's a rather large bottom." -she moved his hand around- "This baby's head is down, it has taken position for delivery, so that up here is their bum."

Thorin nodded impatiently. "So where is the other one?"

Loa allowed Thorin to enjoy the movement of his first child as she tried to find the second. "This one is harder to trace. It is occupying the back of the Queen's belly and it is most of the time hiding, but I had the opportunity to touch it a while ago. Wait..."

Thorin caressed the little bottom and the baby moved away quickly making him lose it. Just when his lips began turning down in disappointment a rather strong foot kicked his hand off Eilin's belly. He drew it with a sharp inhalation and his laughter was so carefree and honest that Dis turned her head the other way and wiped some tears that had sprung from her eyes. Seeing her brother so enthused with his children had been a long life dream for her. It wasn't only Thorin that wished so ardently to have a family all these years, but Dis wanted him to fulfil this desperate need of his equally bad. Seeing him this happy made her deeply emotional.

Eilin laughed with him. "Did they kick you away!?"

Thorin looked at her and nodded. "I don't think my child likes me too much."

Eilin's eyes filled with love. "One mighty warrior is challenging the other one."

He offered her a dazzling smile, but Loa drew his attention. She drew his hand down. "Here, put your hand here!" Loa said.

He placed his palm at the side of Eilin's belly under her ribs and felt another similar lump that felt distinctly smaller. "A bum?" he looked at Loa with wide eyes.

She smiled. "Yes, that's the second one. You can tell by the difference of their size."

A small wave of worry passed from Thorin's brow. "Is it too small? Should that worry us?"

Loa shook her head. "Usually in twins one is a bit larger than the other. I see nothing worrying."

"Do we have a way of knowing if they are boys or girls?" Eilin asked feeling on top of the world. Nothing could contain her happiness this day.

"No my Lady, unfortunately." Loa cringed and allowed the King to enjoy his second child. He sat on the bed again and took Eilin's hand and led it to where his was. He pulled away and allowed her to feel what he had been feeling.

"Isn't it simply beautiful?" He asked entranced.

She looked at his pretty eyes and at the love they emitted for his children and felt hers burning with her love for him. "It is...absolutely mesmerising." She agreed, but they were not speaking of the same thing. He remained above her belly searching with his hand to find the lumps and Eilin took pleasure in the entranced shifts of his handsome face whenever one of the babies made an appearance.

After a few moments, he looked up from the trance the babies had placed him in. "This doesn't feel like reality. It feels like a dream."

Eilin's arms opened up to beckon him and he came over quickly to enclose her to his heart. He placed dozens of loving kisses on her head. "Two Thorin...can you believe it...? Two...Maybe they are both girls."

"Maybe one is a boy and one a girl." He squeezed her onto his chest.

"How are we ever going to be able to do this? I thought one child was daunting, but two?" Eilin whispered feeling slightly overwhelmed.

Dis was looking at the Royal couple wistfully. "You don't have to be afraid Eilin. You are going to be just fine with the help of your family. Your husband is here, I am here and Fili is too...maybe who knows...even Valdis also..."

Thorin looked at his sister above his shoulder and his stare was deep.

"Whatever is in the family, remains in the family, right wolf?" Dis said to him gently.

He nodded and kissed his wife's temple. "That's right gerbil."

"Up till now it was only you proving those words to me. Now it's my turn to support your woman as she gives birth to your children. I am honoured to be given the chance to help you raise them, like you have helped me raise mine. I am soothed by the knowledge that even though one beloved soul has passed away, two more are about to arrive. Mahal didn't only bless you and your wife with these twins, but also my poor torn soul who has been unable to heal ever since I lost my boy." Dis continued with a voice that cracked with emotion.

"Gerbil..." he whispered, but didn't know what else to say. His eyes were burning and he pressed his arms around Eilin tightly.

She reciprocated his fierce touch by wrapping her thin arms around his waist.

"I am going to be here to help too!" Lis said with a decisive frown.

Eilin looked up from Thorin's warm embrace. "Who can keep away the bodyguard of our children?" She smiled.

Loa wiped her tears and smiled at her daughter proudly. Lis looked up at her mom and grinned. "You see mom! I told you I was going to make it!"

Loa nodded. "I wish your father was here to see you. He'd be so proud of you."

Lis' lips turned down and she wrapped her small arms around Loa's waist. "He can see us mom, from the sky."

Dis pressed her lips and looked at her hands. "All those who have perished can see us and I am sure they feel at peace. Maybe we can all find solace in that thought..." she whispered and her eyes fell on Kili's flower pot. The three stems had grown much stronger.

Thorin closed his eyes and kissed Eilin's temple gently.

Loa embraced her daughter tightly. It was only Dis who was not embraced by anyone, but she knew that was the fate of every parent. She lost one son to war and the other was now old enough to embrace his future wife. It was her fate not to have anyone to embrace. She remained looking at Thorin and Eilin for several moments before Thorin lifted his head from Eilin's shoulder and gave his sister an eloquent look.

Dis smiled at him sweetly.

He lifted his arm towards her and frowned. "What are you doing so far away gerbil?" He asked.

Dis ran up to them and instantly she was enfolded into their embrace. "Thank you wolf," she muttered.

He kissed her cheek and leaned his forehead on hers. "I love you little sis."

"Me too." Dis pressed her face on his shoulder needing to relate to him her love and devotion.

Thorin turned to Eilin who was crying too. "As for you Queen of my heart..."

Eilin beamed up to him.

"I simply adore you..." he smiled widely and leaned down to kiss her lips without allowing his sister to leave his embrace.


	67. I chose his mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to thank the reader *Monsan* for pointing out that plot hole with the baby belt which escaped me. Thank you for giving me the idea to use it to fix Balin's relationship with Eilin....*.*

 

* * *

If someone asked Eilin about her intimate activities with her husband and how much the incident of her fake labour stopped them or even slowed them down, she'd probably become even more crimson than Thorin's face had been under Loa's scrutiny. She'd admit though that Thorin never initiated anything anymore, unless she did, which was pretty often. When she gave him all the signals though he went in full force and blew her mind away with his unbridled passion and his ability to unravel her with amazing ease time and time again. Thankfully though they didn't have any repetitions of fake labours again. That allowed them to enjoy each other, but to also feel safe enough with the good progress of Eilin's pregnancy. A fortnight after learning that the future Queen was carrying twins, the news were officially released to Erebor and the common people erupted in heart warming exclamations of delight and satisfaction. The throne of the Mountain was not only secure under one of the most legendary Kings of their kin, but also it was going to remain safe in the hands of King Thorin's children.

Whilst several battle hardened warriors worried that the Necromancer would still try to find a way to wipe out the line of Durin with either an attack to the Mountain or by assassinating King Thorin and his children, the common people had no such worries. They felt safe and secure under the rule of their King and his heirs. They felt immense honour to belong to an era were the Seven had finally united once more under one great ruler.

No matter which Dwarven Kingdom was in danger in Middle Earth, the Seven would act under King Thorin to help it and their kin would prosper and persevere against all enemies. Still though, Thorin's commanders and lieutenants always kept a vigilant eye out for their King and his family. With prince Fili at the lead of the Royal guards and the immense army the Lonely Mountain owned under the united forces of Dain and Durar, there was no way an attack would happen either on the mountain or at the general area of Mirkwood and Rhovanion without Erebor unleashing all hell on the attackers.

One of the lieutenants that became a most loyal bodyguard to the King alongside Dwalin was Dongar, whose actions spoke to the heart of Dis. He was always vigilant around the King whenever he was out and about alone. Thorin's observant nature soon noticed and appreciated deeply Dongar's loyalty. It seemed that after Thorin decided to address Dongar as a brother in law and not as the King, the poor lieutenant decided to dedicate his life to protect his King.

Now another experienced warrior who had secretly sworn to protect the King and was always vigilant next to Dongar was against all odds, Nyrthrasir. When he recovered from his hard time in the dungeons he was led to his wife. Their reunion was as expected emotional and heart breaking. They were both hurt beyond repair and in pain, but being next to each other was the first step to healing.

Myrna begged her husband to explain why he looked so beaten up and why the King had placed him in isolation for so long, to which Nyrthrasir gave the same answers Myrna had heard the King give to her. Her husband explained with a rather embarrassed face that he would remain in the King's army, but he would have to work hard to attain his old status again. At that moment his wife knew that her husband's isolation was much more than simply a collaboration with the King about a treason. Why would they strip her husband of all his military titles again? She asked him straight away if he was involved personally in this treason against the state and after a long silence he admitted that he was. The disappointment was clear on his wife's face, but Nyrthrasir fell to her feet and grasped her knees pleadingly.

"I promise to work hard to attain my honours again! I'll do everything to please the King and offer you the life you deserve my love. Everything I did, I did it for you, but I failed...repeatedly. Give me one more chance to right my wrongs. The King allowed us to remain in Erebor in order to rebuild our lives. It was your dream remember? As is mine...and I will do nothing anymore to fail either you nor him!" He said with a sincerity that touched Myrna's heart.

Her fingers tightened around his. "Will we try to have anymore children?"

Nyrthrasir's eyes filled with tears. "If the great Mahal deems us worthy...yes! Of course!"

Myrna embraced him with tears in her eyes and promised that she'd do the best she could alongside of him to create the family they had always dreamed off. A family that was destroyed by her husband's old infidelity, something Myrna was never going to find out. Nyrthrasir was willing to break his back in order to prove himself worthy to his wife, but he also felt the same need to prove himself to the King. He was prepared to take on a mortal wound for the royal family in order to redeem himself in Thorin's eyes.

Even though Thorin's armies and guards were always alert for his safety, he didn't feel any danger at all. On the contrary from his point of view they were building their stronghold so well, that they were not in need of any protection. On the contrary they were the ones protecting all the lands around them without any difficulty. His unspoken allegiance to both Dale and the Elves of Mirkwood was obvious by the way his army was assisting both that city and the Elven realm in every occasion.

The circle of protection around Erebor opened up slowly to include all of Mirkwood, Dale, the Ironhills and to the west his influence reached the Great River of Wilderland. All these lands slowly came under the protection of the Seven and no one made any fuss about it, not even the Northmen who were located west of Mirkwood. They actually aspired to gain the allegiance of the King of the North too.

Towards the South the influence of Erebor reached almost midway into the Brown Lands and stopped short off the borders of Rohan. To the east he controlled every land up to the Hills of the Sea of Rhun. The more the influence of the Seven grew wider under Thorin the more the surrounding Kingdoms wanted to reach out to him. The more everyone was trying to see and talk to him, the more the common people and his Lords demanded for him to arrange his official coronation. The new dynamics that had taken over the northeast of Middle Earth needed to be properly addressed and soon, under Thorin's official rulership.

So after several days of close deliberation Thorin send out the ravens to the four corners of his rule to announce his inevitable coronation. He was slightly apprehensive about this announcement as it involved many people of importance and it was also getting uncomfortably close to Eilin's delivery date. Of course Loa said that the Queen needed at least one full moon to come to full term, but that didn't alleviate Thorin's worries, who expected his wife to deliver much sooner anyway. Knowing how small and delicate his wife's body was, he felt certain that Eilin would burst any minute, so deciding to announce his coronation to the whole world with that in tow, was a rather risky move. Nevertheless the pressure from the Lords and the common people was too intense for comfort and he decided to try and get this over with, as quickly as possible.

So now instead of concentrating on Eilin's ever growing bump and the rather hard time she had sleeping and moving about, he also had to organise his coronation and his impending wedding the same day to her. Something that she didn't know, but everybody else in his close environment did. Dis was trying to convince Eilin that a Queen shouldn't wear a crimson dress for such an official occasion, but instead a lovely shade of white. They paraded in front of her many dresses and Dis engaged the best seamstresses of Erebor to make it fit the Queen's every growing body. Eilin loved every single dress they showed her, but it was one that finally stole her heart. A white satin long airy dress that had a pale pink flower lace on the bosom and similar pink embroidery on it's hem and at it's long bell sleeves. It was too simple for Dis' taste, but when she saw how Eilin embraced the dress and tried it in front of the huge mirrors with a big smile on her face, she relented and commanded the seamstresses to start working on it. That is where this morning found Eilin. Surrounded by three ladies who were pulling, poking, pinching her with needles and not allowing her to sit down for lengthy periods of time.

-.-

Her husband on the other hand was totally isolated from the menagerie that was taking place in his rooms. He was stying peacefully in the grant library of the Elders. Eilin's refusal to learn anything about her heritage didn't go well with his instinctual need to control every single bit of knowledge he could for the benefit of his family.

Thorin debated long and hard if he should do this, but Thror's old saying: "knowledge was power", finally prevailed over Eilin's refusal to learn anything about her parents. He never revealed to her what he was up to and she never asked him why he was gone missing for so many hours each day. She blamed his absence at the impending coronation, the ruling of the seven Kingdoms, the new mithril vein and the large orders that kept arriving from every corner of Middle Earth. She knew Thorin was pulled all over the place, except from her arms. So the fact that he bid her goodbye in the morning and saw her again late in the evening didn't make an impression on her, even though she was pretty clear to point out that she was missing him dreadfully when they were laying in bed at night. He gently reassured her that after the coronation things would be more under control. Eilin wanted to feel reassured by his words, but one look at her belly made her cringe with uncertainty again.

It was close to noon when finally Thorin stood up and rounded the long desk deciding that he wanted to take a break. He sat on it and crossed his arms as his eyes got lost in the vast cavern with the tall and endless bookshelves. He remained bemusing like that, while behind him Eilin's baby belt was keeping a large scroll open. The same runes that were on the back of the baby belt were scribbled artistically on the scroll under it, next to a name. Thorin sighed deeply and closed his eyes, trying to rest them a little bit. The heavy doors opened up so quietly that the King was not alerted. Balin came over and placed a plate with some food and a cup of tea on the table.

Thorin opened his eyes and looked tiredly at his advisor. "What are you doing here?" he whispered, still feeling half buried in the history he had been studying, but above all at the unexpected information he had managed to gather.

Balin rounded the table and sat on it mimicking Thorin's posture. "Brought you lunch."

Thorin rubbed his forehead feeling traces of a headache. "Not hungry."

"It was made by your wife," Balin looked at his friend as if waiting for a change in his countenance.

Thorin turned at Balin and raised his brows. "Eilin cooked?"

Balin scrounged his lips and scratched his beard. "She said it's your favourite stew. She knew you'd be hungry. Made sure to finish it before your sister took her over to try the wedding dress and several new hair styles."

Thorin's lips parted and he smiled calmly.

Balin raised his hands. "So are you going to eat? Poor girl slaved the whole morning to make sure you would have something nice to eat."

Thorin felt his heart stirring and stood up. "She shouldn't be doing such things in her condition. She can barely stand without support." He came round the desk and sat down. He pulled the plate close to him and instantly the smell made his mouth water. He took the first bite and he had to refrain from moaning out loud. No one would be able to surpass Eilin's ability to cook, ever. The second, third and fourth spoonful followed and soon enough his plate was clean. He leaned back and closed his eyes wanting to enjoy the gratifying sense of fullness, but Balin's voice came once again to annoy him.

"Well apparently her discomfort means little to her when it comes to taking care of you." Balin smiled.

Thorin's lips curled up. "You sound dreadfully fond of her."

Balin tilted his head. "I might be, who knows."

"What caused this change of heart from you?" Thorin's eyes cracked open lazily.

"Her fierce, unyielding loyalty to you, and the strong love you share for each other. You are solemnly lucky to have met her Thorin," Balin said and looked wistfully at the scrolls.

"It took you awhile to come to that conclusion." Thorin said and stood up straight. He picked up the scrolls and observed the runes that had made him stop his research a few moments ago.

"I always have your best interest at heart. I've been next to you for so many years. I've gone through all your pain and torture with your family, with Erebor, with Siv. When I saw this unknown young girl approaching you and you seemingly so eager to pull her in, I got afraid. I didn't want to see you hurt again...that's all." Balin said quietly.

A ghostly smile appeared on Thorin's lips. "I know how loyal you are Balin and as I see you are part of my family, I feel happy you changed your mind about her in the end."

Balin tilted his head. "She's really beautiful."

"Only...?" Thorin raised his brow.

"And rather smart..." Balin added.

Thorin huffed.

"And loyal and kind hearted and charismatic...alright? You hit a Mithril vein with her my friend." Balin chuckled.

Thorin sighed. "That's not even coming close to how perfect she is."

Balin raised his finger. "Oh, and an amazing cook, a stunning dancer and a rather precise archer..."

Thorin snorted and then looked down at the runes again. "You are still not doing her justice...I assure you."

Balin crossed his arms. "I bet the children that will come out of her loins are going to be very special indeed."

Thorin looked up thoughtfully for a few moments and then caressed his beard that was beginning to get longer as he had stopped trimming it. "I've seen a dream Balin..." he lingered on that thought.

Balin frowned. "A dream?" He waited patiently for Thorin to elaborate.

"I saw my son in that dream. He told me his name...but one cannot be sure. Maybe what I saw was just wistful thinking," Thorin's brow wrinkled with deliberation.

Balin straightened and looked at him fixedly. "What was the name?"

Thorin looked at him long and hard before speaking again. "Durin." He said quietly.

Balin's face became deadly pale and he cupped his mouth. "Oh Mahal..." he whispered.

Thorin shook his head. "I've seen the same boy with the same name in the Mirror of the White Lady of the forest."

Balin felt his eyes tearing up. "Lady Galadriel confirmed it?"

Thorin hesitated. "Balin one cannot be sure..."

"Durin the Seventh. The final reincarnation of our forefather coming from your sacred blood!" Balin closed his eyes and spoke with reverence.

Thorin's brow clouded heavily. "We don't know yet. Let the child be born and let us see the signs first. Then we shall decide. That is that proper way."

Balin had to take several moments to gather himself in order to speak again. "Does Eilin know the possibility?"

Thorin shook his head. "No, it's too early yet. I don't want to overburden her. This is beside the point. Eilin will mother the child no matter who he is, as will I father it. It's this past legacy which might affect his future that is important, but all this is pointless for now."

Balin swallowed heavily and wiped the tears from his eyes. "If only Thrain was alive to see his son. How proud he would have been for you."

Thorin frowned deeply and lowered his eyes to the scrolls.

"You united not only our kin, but many races under you. Your legacy is unprecedented. Durin knew why he chose you as a father and I am sure he will grow this legacy of yours even more and add his own on top of it. You and him shall rewrite the books of history my friend." Balin said proudly.

Thorin raised his hand to stop him. "Let us be as wise as our age commands, let us not hurry through this."

Balin's lips pressed and he nodded. "Let us."

"Don't speak about this until we know for sure." Thorin said quietly.

"I will not." Balin pressed his fist above his heart.

"Just keep your eyes open," Thorin looked at him.

Balin smiled brightly. "It will be my pleasure and an honour!"

Thorin exhaled softly and closed his eyes. His hand fell above Eilin's baby belt and led Balin's eyes there. The old advisor took several moments of quiet debate in order to speak again to Thorin. "This is the famous baby belt that caused such a monumental destruction?"

Thorin nodded. "The same one."

Balin rounded the desk and leaned down to take a look at it. "You know, this baby belt has been quite controversial since the beginning."

Thorin frowned. "What do you mean?"

"We recently learned that Eilin lost in the tavern and Rhiannon found it, nevertheless when she first came to Erebor she told Bombur and Bofur that she had it with her when she was picked up by those vagabond dwarves. She insisted that she showed them the belt as proof that she belonged to our kin. This belt was the reason they took her along for their trip to the Ironhills." Balin said with a clever smile.

Thorin's brows furrowed with doubt. "Why did she lie about it?"

Balin flicked his shoulders. "Probably wanted to convince our comrades that she indeed belonged to us. Her different looks must have always felt like a bloody stigma both amidst Men that found her too short and amongst Dwarves that found her too hairless. She needed to belong and what a better way to convince someone that you are part of his kin, than speak about a lost family heirloom that bespoke of your long lost ancestry."

Thorin sighed deeply and pinched his nose. "You never betrayed that innocent lie of hers to me."

Balin shook his head.

"Why? That must have been the proof you needed at the beginning that she was out to deceive me." Thorin raised his brow.

"I didn't view that as deception, but as a desperation to belong." Balin rejoined modestly.

Thorin took his time. "You should confront her at some point with this."

Balin smirked. "Who knows, maybe I will. We need some kind of closure between us, maybe this will be it."

Thorin nodded gently and looked at the belt again. "She asked me to burn it." He said after a few moments.

Balin crossed his arms. "Cannot blame her. So why didn't you?"

Thorin tilted his head. "It was the only thing that could link me to her heritage."

"Did she ask you to do find it?"

"She asked me to do the exact opposite," Thorin rejoined.

"Damn it..." -Balin harked- "The everlasting control freak came out of you again, no matter your wife's wishes?"

Thorin pressed his lips annoyed.

Balin waved him off. "So did you find anything on the poor girl?"

Thorin's demeanour became heavy. "Actually I found exactly what I wanted."

Balin scowled. "You found her father?"

Thorin inclined his head and turned the scroll around. He pointed at a specific place and bade Balin to read silently.

Balin took the scroll and as he read his countenance changed slowly from indifferent to shocked. Then his eyes seared into Thorin's. "Oh, you cannot be serious."

Thorin sighed and gave him a curt nod. "That's him. He's the only descendant of Telchar. He never had a family and he died young. A dwarf who enjoyed to travel a lot and fraternised with women on a regular basis...in taverns...if my memory is not failing me. We tried several times to recruit him, but he always refused. "

Balin straightened and caressed his long beard thoughtfully. "Can you believe that I've known him for years, but I never knew he was of Telchar's bloodline?"

Thorin nodded. "I didn't know either."

Balin sat on the edge of the desk and crossed his arms. "Lord Óthin Firebeard?"

"Only son of Lady Naina, second cousin of Telchar." Thorin added quietly.

"Óthin? One of the butchers of Azanulbizar?" Balin added pensively.

Thorin leaned back and crossed his arms. "Do you understand that I fought next to her father?"

Balin looked at him sharply.

"I saw him die honourably. I found his body and brought it to burial." Thorin continued absorbed in his deeper thoughts.

Balin inhaled quietly and looked at his hands.

"I didn't know him very well." Thorin added.

"I did." Balin's voice was full of introspection.

"What can you tell me about him, apart that he was a fierce warrior?" Thorin searched Balin's eyes.

"Not a family man or so it seemed. He was a traveller, a free spirit. Much more accepting of other races than the rest of us. He had a vulgar sense of humour, he drank a lot, gambled without any regrets and had no home. He was truly a rolling stone, but he was loyal to the royal family and he could die to protect his kin. That's about it. None of us ever truly found camaraderie in him. He never stayed anywhere long enough to take on roots. I know nothing else about his history or about his family...well apart from learning now that he was a straight descendant of the legendary Telchar." Balin spoke attentively.

Thorin gave him a quiet nod. "Apparently Óthin fooled around a lot and with many different races."

"Well he was a free man, no one can blame him of infidelity at least," Balin said casually.

"One can blame him of abandoning his offspring though. Who knows how many other children he has planted all over Middle Earth..." Thorin said thoughtfully.

"Well, to our knowledge he carved his initials only on Eilin's baby belt. No one else came forth to claim Óthin's legacy." Balin stopped and looked carefully at Thorin for a few moments- "If you are sure the runes are indeed a match." He added.

Thorin pursed his lips. "The runes belong to Lord Óthin. The fierce warrior who fought next to my grandfather and died in order to protect him."

Balin exhaled and nodded.

"I still remember him standing next to Thror taking the deadly hit from Azog, placing his body between the pale orc and my grandfather, but I remember little after that." Thorin shook his head softly.

"He died honourably for our kin..." Balin rubbed his shoulders.

"I don't even remember his face so well..." -Thorin frowned disappointed at himself- "Those moments are hard to recall."

"He was a rather handsome Dwarf I must admit. Probably the reason he fooled around with several women outside our race. Our dwarrowdams were much more concentrated on finding their One. He wanted to play around and he had the physical appearance to do so." Balin smiled.

Thorin smirked.

"Red fiery hair and green eyes...an astounding face and a very strong body, but he was a little on the short side." Balin raised his brow.

Thorin's smirk became a bright smile and he raised his brow. "Whom does that remind me off?"

Balin titled his head. "She's probably the spitting image of her father if you exclude her hairless face and dainty body. That was a curse given to her by her mother whom we have no way of ever identifying."

Thorin looked at his friend incredulously. "Curse?"

"A true noble dwarrowdam without a beard?! That is unheard of." Balin seemed shocked.

Thorin's smile ended up in a heartfelt laugh. "Some of us appreciate that quality in women, just so you'd know."

Balin chuckled. "Everyone's figured that one out by now, my King."

Thorin looked with a sweet smile down at his scrolls.

After a few moments of silent deliberation Balin snorted. "Telchar...damn...Eilin has got Telchar's blood in her?"

Thorin raised his brow.

Balin shook his head. "Telchar of Nogrod who forged the Narsil, the heirloom of the heirs to the throne of Arnor of Númenor?"

Thorin pressed his lips appreciatively. "Daughter of the fierce Óthin, one of the butchers of the battle of Moria. A man who stood next to my grandfather and protected my family to his last breath. So much for the invisible tavern maiden..."

Balin felt the hair on his back standing on end. "Durin knew whom he chose as a mother also." He added with a bow of respect.

"I chose Durin's mother, not him." Thorin rejoined with a side smirk.

Balin laughed quietly and nodded. "Will you tell her?"

"Not unless she asks. This means little to me. I loved her before, I love her now and I will love her forever. Her heritage never played into my feelings. It's something that concerns her, only. If she wants the knowledge I shall give it to her, if not I will take it to the grave with me." -Thorin replied peacefully and after a moment he looked up at Balin with a gaze that became a tone darker- "So shall you."

Balin looked at his boots and nodded in understanding. "Of course..."

* * *

"Stand straight my Lady, just one more braid..." the girl said and pulled Eilin's hair hard.

Eilin tried to straighten her pained torso and felt her belly stretching too much for comfort. The muscles under the tight skin became hard as stone and she inhaled sharply in order to keep the uncomfortable feeling at bay. Both Loa and Dis had reassured her that this was something natural that happened so late in a pregnancy, but that didn't mean Eilin enjoyed it. Whenever it happened she felt like she was going to burst. She grabbed her belly and exhaled slowly trying to calm herself down. Dis looked up from the embroidery that was she was trying to embellish at Eilin's bosom. Valdis who was next to Eilin immediately understood that something was wrong and grabbed Eilin's elbow in order to offer her support.

"Are you alright my Lady?" she asked.

Eilin's eyes fell on the scars at Valdis' wrists and she instantly teared up in an unbidden guilt trip that had no apparent reason. Her pregnancy hormones were causing her emotions to run rampart all the time, something that she found overwhelming at times. She shook her head. "I am going to be okay..." she whispered.

Valdis turned to Lis who was hopscotching behind the bride and said. "Bring some water over to the Lady my girl."

Eilin wrapped her small hand around Valdis wrist. "Will you ever forgive me?" she opened up her burning eyes.

Valdis looked truly confused. "About what my Lady?"

The Queen's hand squeezed tight, wishing to feel that scar in the soft skin of her palm. "Call me Eilin...just do it!" she wanted to make it sound like a plead, but instead it sounded more like a command. She felt frustrated at herself and at how little control she had on all the thoughts that cascaded in her brain like an unstoppable waterfall at times.

Valdis seemed taken aback. "Alright Eilin" -she said and that is when Lis came with the cup of water- "Drink some, it will make you feel better."

Dis stood up and touched Eilin's belly. "It feels stiff again?"

"Yes..." Eilin grumbled and grabbed Valdis firmly in order to support herself. Valdis' arm came under Eilin's shoulders.

Dis felt Eilin's belly and gave her a curt nod. "You need to sit down, come on." -She pulled Eilin gently by the hand and led her to a chair. Then she turned to the girl who was making her braids- "Take a break for now, thank you."

The girl bowed to the ground and left Eilin with half the job done. Lis rounded Eilin and kneeled in front of her. "Do you want me to call the King my Lady?" she knew already what Eilin needed even before everyone else did.

Eilin opened her eyes and smiled at the young girl. She nodded softly. "Can you, please?"

Lis smiled brightly and dashed to the door. "I'll find him immediately my lady!" she cried and crashed the door behind her.

"That was a bit rush. You are really fine. What is happening to you is natural. We can take care of this, you needn't call my brother." Dis chastised with a careful tone.

Eilin closed her eyes and felt tears running down her cheeks. "I feel so tired, I am in pain and my emotions are all over the place. I am sorry my Lady. I know I am becoming too dependant on him and that he has so many things to do for Erebor, but ...but...I am sorry." She pressed her trembling lips, forcing herself not to cry.

Valdis was quick to pull Eilin on her bosom and Dis raised her brow at the protection this girl was showing towards the future Queen. It seemed so out of place when Valdis' sister tried hard to destroy both Eilin and Thorin. "You need more water?" Valdis asked.

Eilin shook her head and before Valdis had a chance to pull away in order to place the mug back at the table she grasped her hands again. She pulled her close and turned her wrists up in order to see the scars again. Her fingers mapped them. "I need to know that you have forgiven me..." she muttered.

Valdis understood what Eilin was saying and tears pooled in her eyes. "There is nothing to forgive my Lady...What happened to me was never your fault."

Eilin looked up sharply. "Use my name..."

Valdis smiled sadly. "Eilin my relationship with my sister had always been turbulent. She has bullied me since I was a child. I was living in hell most of the times under her influence. She knew what to say to push me off the edge. I don't even know what made me act so violently towards myself after our talk."

Eilin's hands tightened around Valdis' "If I hadn't taken you down there, this wouldn't have happened. Thorin was right."

Valdis closed her eyes. "I don't regret talking to her."

Dis tilted her head slightly, but decided not to intervene.

Eilin opened her mouth and wished to speak, but it felt as if a hand squeezed her throat, rendering her speechless and fresh tears sprang from her eyes.

"Even after what happened, I don't regret it. Sometimes one has to go through the fire in order to see the light." -Valdis opened her eyes and looked at Eilin- "I am given the chance to be in a better place now and yet I still mourn her loss. How can someone mourn the loss of their tormentor?" She asked herself.

Eilin felt the immensity of it all coming down to crush her.

"Can you please not linger in the past Eilin? Uncle Dain says we all have to move on." Valdis forced herself to smile.

"I never wanted to hurt you. I only wanted to help you and look what I did to you. Forgive me..." Eilin whispered.

Valdis collapsed next to her Queen and placed her forehead on Eilin's knees. "It should have been my sister telling me those words not you."

Eilin caressed Valdis braids and clenched her teeth. "I am sorry you had to go through such hell."

Valdis began weeping on Eilin's lap and Dis wrapped a hand protectively around Eilin's shoulder. "Very good my Queen..." she said proudly.

Eilin looked up at the princess with pained eyes.

"Maybe you are a bundle of bruised nerves, pain and wild emotions, but you are making me proud to have you as my Queen at this moment." Dis smiled.

Eilin's face filled up with tears and that is when the muscles on her belly tightened once more hard. She exhaled and doubled over Valdis who looked up worried. Dis came down to one knee next to her and clasped her hand. "Okay, take in a deep breath and try to calm down."

Eilin tried to do so, but her belly was not allowing her. "It's hard..." she panted.

Valdis looked at Dis with dread. "Is she okay?"

Dis nodded. "Just a few contractions. She needs to calm down. Breathe in now," she rubbed Eilin's back.

Eilin nodded and took a deep breath. When she felt her stomach becoming stiff again under the pressure and one of the babies kicking her ribs she squeezed Valdis' hand.

Dis frowned. "Breathe deep..."

Eilin did so.

Dis sighed. "Now let it all out...slowly."

Eilin exhaled as slowly as possible and felt her belly relaxing fractionally. All the ladies, hairdressers and seamstresses had stopped their work and were looking at the Queen worried.

"Now do it again," -Dis rubbed Eilin's hand. Then she turned to Valdis- "Take off her boots and rub her feet." She commanded.

Valdis did so immediately and Eilin tried to pull her feet away from them. "No, don't make her do such things to me!" she tensed almost instantly and this time the clenching of her muscles send a wave of pain down her back. She groaned and doubled over.

Dis gritted her teeth. "Fine she won't, now can you calm down? You are going to make the rigidness feel even worse!"

Valdis pulled back and took Eilin's free hand and began rubbing it gently. "Calm down my Lady...we are all here with you."

One of the hairdressers came over with a mug of fresh water. "Here my Lady, drink some." She offered.

Eilin took it and the coldness of the drink really soothed down her burning throat.

Dis pressed her hand and checked the firmness of her belly. "Now take another full breath in...and then release it."

Eilin repeated that several times before she felt the tension releasing slightly. That is when the door opened up and Thorin with Fili came in discussing. They seemed to be in a bright mood. The moment they entered Lis who was following, bypassed the King and came to Eilin.

"Found him for you!" she cried.

Eilin smiled and bit her lower lip. "Thank you my darling."

Thorin looked at his wife on the chair pallid with Dis and Valdis at her flanks and lost all his mirth from his conversation with Fili instantly. "What happened?" he asked.

Eilin reached out for him. "Thorin..."

He rushed up to her and clasped her hand. He brought it up and kissed it tenderly. Then he kneeled next to her. "Are you alright?" he looked worried at her face that was swimming in tears and at the sweat that was cascading down her temples.

"My belly feels so tight I cannot breathe properly," Eilin whispered and Thorin pulled her head under his chin protectively and kissed the top of her fiery curls.

Dis decided to intervene. "Just a few convulsions, absolutely normal for the progress of her pregnancy, but rather uncomfortable. Her belly is rather large for her slim frame and this is becoming too overwhelming for her."

Thorin frowned and caressed Eilin's temple. "Are you in pain?"

She nodded. "My back, my legs, my sides...my ribs...the babies kicked me on the ribs" -she touched the place- "I am too sweaty, my belly is too tight and I am in pain all over my body...moreover..." -she sniffled feeling fresh tears springing out- "I cannot stop crying!" she wailed and buried her head on his neck.

He exhaled patiently and slid his fingers through her wild hair to caress her head gently. He pulled her hand up to his mouth and offered it another kiss. "We are going to fix this, I promise."

Dis pursed her lips. "I don't want to undermine your knowledge wolf, but the woman needs a midwife to help her, not you. You have no idea what to do."

"I didn't see her particularly relieved by the presence of a midwife next to her," Thorin raised his brow at his sister.

Dis crossed her arms feeling piqued, but remained silent.

"What she needs is a bit of tender care and I can give her that." -Thorin added and then looked down at Eilin's pained face- "Right?"

The first smile broke on her lips. "Yes my love." She whispered.

Thorin turned to Dis. "Get her a nightgown from the cupboard and a quilt." -Then he stood up and held Eilin's hands- "Can you stand up?" he asked her.

She pressed her lips and nodded. "I'll try."

He pulled her up gently, but the moment she tried to straighten her body, her belly pulled her painfully and she doubled over. Her hands clutched Thorin's shoulders for support and he pulled her on him, taking most of the weight off of her. Then his wide palm skimmed down her shoulder blades and reached the small of her back. "Where is the pain?"

"On my back," her clawing nails related to him her anguish.

"Here?" his fingers began a firm massage on her spine.

"Lower please...lower...there Thorin!" she said and tensed on him as his fingers caught the bruised nerve and began pressing on it steadily, offering Eilin the first free breath as that pained part of her body started loosening up.

"Is that better?" he whispered close to her ear.

She nodded, out of breath.

"Can you walk?" he continued.

Eilin shook her head. "No...I want to lay down."

He pressed his lips and slowly turned her to the side.

"What are you doing?" her eyes cracked open, but he didn't give her the opportunity to speak.

"We are going to give you a warm bath, how does that sound?" he said and picked her up easily.

Her lips curled up in a faded smile. "It sounds heavenly." She murmured.

Dis brought over what Thorin had asked for. "You want me to come down with you?" she asked with a frown.

"No, I have her. Put the things on her lap." Thorin rejoined and Dis placed the nightgown and the quilt on Eilin's lap.

Eilin snuggled on Thorin's chest and her eyes instantly closed.

"Are you better now?" he leaned over and gave a soft kiss on his wife's forehead.

Eilin nodded fiercely and her fingers clutched the front of his tunic. "No pain on my legs and back like this, but my belly is still tight."

He turned to his sister. "Make sure the chambers are clean and empty when we return!" His voice held a tone of warning.

"We just wanted to prepare the gown for her and the hair dos. Calm down wolf," Dis frowned and looked at Fili and Valdis who had withdrawn towards the recliner and were engaged in deep conversation.

Thorin didn't answer. He went to the door and Fili opened it for him. The he got lost down the corridor. Dis exhaled through her nose and turned to look at the girls who were leaning close to each other, murmuring. Their cheeks were bright red.

She felt her jawline flexing. "Stop fanning yourselves over my brother and his wife!" -she chastised and the girls lost all their mirth instantly- "Gather everything and leave." She commanded them and the girls did so quickly. Then Dis turned to her son who was holding Valdis' hand gingerly. "Lady Valdis!" she grumbled.

Valdis pulled her hand out of Fili's and turned at the princess sheepishly. She was blushing hard. "Yes, my Lady."

"Help me clean the royal chambers before the couple comes back." Dis commanded and Valdis gave one loving look to Fili before doing Dis' bidding. What bothered Dis more though was that her son joined in the effort and tried to take most of the workload away from Valdis, but not from his mother.

* * *

Down at the hot springs, Thorin stripped Eilin down completely and led her into the warm waters. Then he pulled her close to the waterfall. First he washed her hair and body thoroughly, taking his time to massage her head, her nape and her shoulders before rinsing her off. Then he sat on a rocky ledge under the waterfall and drew her on him. He leaned her head on his torso and made her lay down on him. As she floated on the water with Thorin's body to support her all of her discomforts seemed to disappear. Eilin's aching joints felt an instant relief as he massaged her body gently and she allowed her eyes to close, delighting in the sound of the water cascading down the rocks that were behind him. The few stray drops that landed on her forehead had a very soothing affect on her. His hands left her arms and touched the side of her large belly gently.

"Do you still feel stiff?" he whispered and offered a warm kiss on her cool brow.

"No my love. I am much better." She exhaled with a smile.

"Why did they make so intricate braids on you when they know you can barely stand?" he frowned.

"Princess Dis insisted that we must find a proper hairdo for the coronation." Eilin rejoined quietly.

"I see. Probably she was trying to convince you to wear your hair in a complicated manner for your wedding day." he said casually.

Eilin felt her heart doing a somersault and turned around to look at him through eyes that ached from fatigue. "Wh-at?" she stuttered.

"I thought it would be a good idea to surprise you with our wedding on the day of the coronation." He smiled at her and his eyes glimmered.

She clutched the side of his neck excitedly. "Are you serious?"

"Yes." He tilted his head.

Eilin's mouth dropped open and she was unable to find the proper words to answer to that.

His thumb skimmed past her full red lips. "Silence. Should I take that as a good sign or a bad?"

Her eyes lifted up to him yearningly. "Oh, Thorin...you should have told me. I would have tried harder to be patient with all those tries to dress me up if I knew why they were doing it!"

Thorin chuckled. "Your wedding day is more important than my coronation?" he teased.

"Indubitably!" -she pulled herself up and a bright smile appeared on her lips- "I didn't expect this...I never expected."

He frowned and pulled her over for a soft kiss that muted her instantly. Then he pushed back and lingered delighting at her soft breath on his mouth. "You didn't expect what? Didn't I propose?"

She nodded and a loving giggle escaped her.

"Aren't you pregnant with my children...?" he looked appreciatively down at her naked body.

She blushed.

"With bloody twins?" He raised his brows.

She laughed fully and her beautiful voice danced around the cavern walls. "Yes!"

"Then what made you believe I wouldn't wed you soon, especially since I proposed officially?" his brows creased.

"I don't know, maybe you would have liked to wait until after the babies were born, after the coronation..." she tittered.

"After our children were of age to chose their Ones, or maybe after they gifted us with many grandchildren..." he drawled.

She thwarted his shoulder. "Don't tease!"

He looked hungrily at her parted lips. "I want to wed you before our children are born. Is that alright with you?"

She exclaimed happily and fell on him so fiercely that he lost his balance and they both landed hard into the water. She laughed and helped him up. Then she smoothed his wet hair away from his face and without warning she grasped his cheeks and kissed him fully on the mouth without holding anything back. A groan of pleasure escaped his chest and she hummed her appreciation as they kissed long and hard. When they broke apart they were both dazed, wet and had silly smiles on their faces.

"Does that mean you like the idea of marrying me during the coronation?" he whispered shyly.

"I adore it!" She giggled and gave him another firm kiss.

"Will you turn out to be the most awkward bride Middle Earth had ever seen?" he raised his brow.

She frowned. "Most certainly Sir!"

This time it was his turn to laugh out loud. "I was hoping on that."

A doting smile awoke on her lips and she caressed his earlobe. "I know."

"Are you going to allow them to make you all those braids?" he continued after a few silent moments were they gazed dotingly at each other's faces.

She averted her eyes. "Princess Dis said that a Queen must have a proper hairdo, especially at the coronation of her husband..."

He clasped her cheeks and jerked her gently. "What is it you want? That's what I want to hear."

She didn't hesitate. "To have my hair exactly like they were when you fell in love with me."

The look of adoration he gave her loosened her legs and she was lucky she was kneeling into the deep warm waters or else she would have fallen over. "Then have them free...for that is how I like them." He whispered.

She beamed up to him. The discomfort she felt in her bloated body was all but forgotten the moment she learned that within the next fortnight she would be married to the love of her life. "Like this?" she run her fingers through her wild mane and looked at him coyly.

He nodded and turned her gently around. "Yes...free like your soul."

She felt her eyes burning when his hands lowered hers gently to her sides and run through her mane with a gentleness that she would never get used to. Her pulled her back until they reached the waterfalls and there he took a seriously long time to care for her long red curls. The magical way his fingers worked through her scalp though was not enough to break her thoughts about their impeding marriage. How was she going to look like? How was he going to look like? How many people were going to attend?...she smiled at her own silly thoughts. It was Thorin's coronation so everybody was going to be there! Dwarves, Elves, Men and Wizards!

Would she be able to stand next to him as the proud Queen of Erebor or would she fold into herself embarrassed out of her mind and more awkward than she had ever even been? Would Rhiannon be allowed to be her maid in honour? Would Valdis? Would Lis? Would she be able to stand up for so long or would her puffed feet send her kneeling defeated to the floor? Would they allow her to take a seat or would that be tremendously rude? If she sat on the throne would everybody rebel against her? If she sat and stood up again would all the royal guards of Erebor salute them simultaneously and how big of an echo would that make in the deep chasms of this golden city?

Her thoughts ran rampant as he worked his slow magic on her head and after a point she didn't even feel the relaxation slipping down her tense extremities and warming them up. She didn't really understand how her neck loosened and how her head leaned back heavily to his shoulder. She allowed her forehead to press against the side of his neck in order to feel his steady pulse.

When finally after a rather long time her eyes fell closed, every single thought had silenced in her mind and there was only blessed peace and him supporting and caressing her. Then she was simply floating in heaven. It took her awhile to speak again. "Why did you decide to reveal to me your surprise Thorin? It seems that Princess Dis went through a lot of trouble to manage everything while keeping it a secret from me."

"Because I saw how tired and tensed you looked today. My intention was to surprise you, not to exhaust you. You are so big now..." He frowned at her feeling slightly worried about her meltdown today.

She snorted. "You don't have to remind me!"

"Our children are causing you constant discomfort. I don't want to see you crying from pain like I did today. I want to wed you before our children arrive, that is true, but not to make you suffer. If that means that we have to marry in our bedroom dressed in nothing more than our nightwear then so be it." He rejoined solemnly.

"You don't how much I appreciate what you are doing for me today...and everything that you are saying." She whispered.

He placed his hands behind her back and began mauling her spine with his fingers. "I love taking care of you..."

She smiled contently. "And I love taking care of you."

"Speaking of which, you also had to go and cook for me today, didn't you? Was that a clever idea?" he frowned feeling irritated.

She felt the knots on her nerves untying under the steady pressure of his fingers. "Did you like it? Did you eat it?" she asked eagerly.

"I hated it. Don't ever cook for me again." His voice turned dismissive.

Her eyes cracked open, but her peaceful state didn't allow her to truly glower at him. "I know you are trying to convince me not to do it again."

He huffed. "No I really hated it."

She nodded and reached behind her head for him. Her hand slid past his bicep and clutched his deltoid. "I wanted to please you."

"You did. I devoured the whole thing, but I will beg you to restraint yourself from cooking again, until you give birth. Do we have a deal?" His fingers massaged outwards towards her hips.

She moaned in pleasure and exhaled fully. "Keep this up...there...oh..." she whispered.

"Do we have a deal about the cooking?" his voice held a tone of warning and he stopped touching her.

"Hey, why did you stop?" She frowned in annoyance.

"I won't continue until you promise." He rejoined.

She nodded softly. "I promise...you are right in reprimanding me. I am in constant pain."

His brow creased. "Even now?" He sounded troubled.

A ghostly smile cracked on her lips. "No, not now. Now I feel like I am in the undying lands!"

He smiled contently and pulled her on his body enfolding her warmly.

She floated between reality and dreams for several moments before she decided to betray her innermost thoughts to him. "Did you ever think that you'd have me naked in your arms and instead of making me lose my mind, you'd be taking care of my aching body?"

"Well, I did this to you. I have to make up for your suffering in some manner." He spoke in a hushed tone.

"Don't know if that sounded regretful or damned proud." She seemed genuinely amused.

He chuckled. "Both."

"You carried me through the whole of Erebor...you do realise that everyone was looking at us, right?" She stretched on him like a cat and when she didn't feel the uncomfortable tension in her belly she smiled and snuggled against the warm firmness of his body.

"What's the harm in seeing the King carrying his pregnant wife?"

"No harm of course, but I bet we instigated some wet dreams today..." she laughed.

"I love it when you think so rudely," he bit his lower lip and his finger skimmed gently around the swollen mounts of her breasts.

"Don't get any dirty ideas in your head handsome. I am too exhausted." she said and reached behind to hold his nape.

He distributed several soft kisses on her forehead and cheeks, before gifting her mouth with a tender peck that lingered. "Who would have thought that one day the tables would turn..."

Her lips curled up under his and her fingers grazed the back of his neck. "What do you mean?"

"That I would be in the mood for love and you wouldn't." He reciprocated her smile.

"I wish I could give you pleasure right now, but everything on me just feels nasty." She whispered regretfully.

"I am only teasing you..." he murmured and pecked her lips gently.

She reciprocated and closed her eyes. "Thank you for taking time from your work today to do this for me."

"Unless Erebor is coming into ruins, you come first...No, I am lying. You come first even when Erebor is in ruins..." he said in an afterthought.

She kissed him back gently and caressed the bridge of his nose. "Remember the first time we saw each other here?"

He raised both brows. "How can I forget? I was stark naked under the water and just looking at you made my heart beat faster. Honestly when you were facing that wall I got out bearing a half full erection." He sounded so dreadfully shy in revealing that embarrassing truth to her that her heart erupted with her love for him.

She giggled and nibbled her lower lip. "What a tempting image...I wish I had known that! During those early times I was too scared to even look you in the eyes, never mind imagining that I was causing such pleasurable discomforts to you."

"You are still causing them my beautiful Queen and I bet you my life, you will be causing them even when I am with one foot dangling above the chasm of death." He whispered.

She beamed up to him and then turned to her side, needing to cuddle on him and maybe even sleep. She closed her eyes and her fingers caressed his forearm. "I love you."

He leaned down and kissed her soft cheek. "I love you too."

She felt the world drifting slowly away from her and she wouldn't have minded sleeping right then and there on him, surrounded by the warm waters. Nevertheless he had other ideas. He picked her up and took care to dry her out thoroughly before he dressed her in her nightgown. Then he wrapped her with the warm quilt and just as she got ready to engage his elbow in order to walk back with him, he surprised her again by picking her up.

Eilin loved her husband to bits and didn't want to exhaust him, but she wasn't stupid to make a fuss today about that. If he wanted to parade them like this through the whole of Erebor, then she was fine with it. Especially since she didn't have to put any weight on her overworked legs.

He walked back to the royal chambers, which were in impeccable condition, thanks to Dis, Fili and Valdis. Then he placed her in bed and got ready to enjoy a mug of wine in front of the fireplace whilst she slept, but she couldn't find a place of comfort. She tossed, turned, moaned and groaned until he gave up on the idea of the wine and got up to assist her. He used every pillow on the bed and several from the cupboards to try and alleviate her discomfort. When he placed a pillow under her belly as she was laying on the side, she felt pain on her back. When she lay on her back with a pillow under her, her hips were suffering. When he turned her the other way and placed a pillow on her hips, her shoulder blades and her nape were in agony.

When he finally managed to find a combination of pillows and a proper position for her to feel painless, she was sprawled like a starfish, with eight pillows at different angles, snoring so hard that she could wake up the whole royal wing. Thorin placed his hands on his wide belt and cringed. There was not a single place left free for him to sleep on that bed. He remembered vaguely when a year ago, he had to stop himself from building gravestones out of her pillows. When he looked down now he saw life, hope and a bright future staring back at him in the form of this rad formation of pillows...not ghostly gravestones anymore.

He smiled and came to the conclusion that the bed was overtaken by Eilin and her pillows and he couldn't fit in it. He made sure she was well covered and then sat down to enjoy a couple of mugs of wine. He could have sought Dwalin to share a cup with him, but he didn't want to open the door and alert her. After a long time he decided to go to sleep also, which he did on the recliner. Morning found him half on and half off of it, as he was too big for that small piece of furniture. His sleep may have been rather uncomfortable, but Eilin's had been the best one she has had for many days and that is all that mattered to her husband.

As Thorin woke up to the first rays of the sun, he was blissfully unaware that all the pains and aches of his body from this almost sleepless night were just a small precursor of what was going to happen to both him and Eilin in the days, months and even years following the birth of their children.

* * *


	68. Turn the kites loose...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the forever sharp and clever StephCalvino mentioned there was a seemingly nasty timeline mess up in Thorin's and Balin's discussion about Eilin's dad Othin. It was on purpose and it will be discussed in the next chapter by the same characters.

To say that the day of the coronation was blessed by the Gods themselves, would have been a serious understatement. Ever since the sun dawned behind the rolling hills of Rhun, it was evident by the amazing colours that broke in the horizon that this was going to be a bright summer's day. As the soft breeze transferred the most soothing flower scents from the blooming forest of the River Running up to Dale, it also offered the up-drifts needed to help lift up the kites that the children had turned loose. They ended up sailing far above Erebor as the sun made it's bold appearance in the bluest sky the people of Esgaroth had seen in ages. Flocks of birds flew under the kite lines from the forest and then up to the top of the Lonely Mountain filling the plain next to the river with their happy chirping. The caws of Erebor's crows echoed stronger than any other bird, but that didn't scare away the smaller birds from making their appearances again and again around the hard rocks of the stronghold. Coming and going and trying to find small recesses in order to make their nests. Swallows, sparrows and thrushes had overtaken not only the forest of Erebor, but the stronghold itself and also Dale and Mirkwood forest.

A rippling cheerfulness was running all over Dale from the moment the sun came up and many if not all it's citizens were cleaning their homes and trying to find nice clothes to wear as this day was deeply important not only for Erebor, but for its moon city as well. As Dale's mayor, Bard had declared his allegiance to Erebor since the beginning, the people saw Thorin Oakenshield as their very own King, so his coronation was a major event for their city and they felt very protective towards it. They were getting ready to flock the gates of Erebor from very early on in order to manage to get a good spot in order to be able to witness the legendary King and his wife first hand. Mothers and daughters, sons and fathers were enveloped in euphoric excitement, as they wanted to look their best for this remarkable event. Besides everyone wanted to be able to partake in this unique experience so they could describe to their grandchildren one day that they had participated at the coronation of the renowned King of the North.

Dale's excitement though was a mere nothing in comparison to what was taking place in the Lonely Mountain. Every level, every cavern, every home and gathering area was overflowing with dwarves and dwarrowdams who were brimming with anticipation for this unforgettable day. Today they would be able to celebrate not only the reclaiming of these ancient lands, but also the rise of a King who was going to rule every single dwarven Kingdom of Middle Earth. Their kin hadn't experienced such glorious days since the raise of Durin and nobody wanted to miss the opportunity to partake in the creation of this new legendary era. From the lowest delvers to the highest Lords, everybody woke up at the first chimes of the golden bell. Dwarrowdams were rushing to clean themselves and makes each other's hairs and their husbands brushed thoroughly through their beards in order to create intricate braids. Their sons and daughters if old enough they helped their parents and if too young they tried to understand what this fuss was all about. The elders were gathering in all the common areas ready to share their old stories about these mighty strongholds of the north and how their honourable forefathers have lived through similar distinctions before these proud kingdoms were taken over by forces of darkness.

Nobody was left untouched by the illustrious events that were going to take place in Erebor's throne room today. Everybody knew that renowned cavern couldn't fit all of Erebor, Dale, the emissaries of Mirkwood and the Northmen, but still they hoped for a place close by, or at least a spot en route to it. Many were going to be left behind in this endeavour to view their King and Queen first hand and nobody wanted to be the unlucky ones. So one and all were rushing to get quickly down to the great entrance, the grant antechamber, the King's Halls and above all close to the throne room, if not in and around it. Something that was almost impossible to accomplish since that cavern was cut off to the common people by the royal guards. As it contained only three long dangling bridges, they kept that restricted available space for the King's court and the emissaries from the other cities. They did allow the commoners to flock the lower decks below the throne room, though. If one hurried they could get into a position where from the right angle they could catch a glimpse of the corridor the King was going to walk on and blessed Mahal, even a crooked view of the throne itself, but that spot had already been acclaimed by commoners since the first hours of dawn.

The excitement that had overtaken both Dale and Erebor, did not extend to the royal corridors and rooms though. Those were overburdened by extreme worry and anxiety. Thorin had bid his wife farewell in the morning, telling her that she needed to be prepared by her ladies without him present. When she refused he explained patiently that he wanted her to surprise him with her dress. Eilin was apprehensive to let him go, but when he reassured her that by the end of this day all this anxiety would be gone and they would be together again away from the public eyes, she felt defeated. She could certainly wait for this to be over, couldn't she? She would be able to waddle on that long bridge between all the prominent members of their kin watching her like hawks and stand next to his throne, right? Her puffed up ankles wouldn't be in pain and her knees wouldn't unlock under her, correct? She tried to reassure herself that she'd be able to carry the immense weight of her body, without the support of Dis and that she'd look as regal as Thorin would no doubt look and not utterly ridiculous. She wanted to believe that she wouldn't sweat like a pig and stain her amazing wedding dress. That she wouldn't look like a heaving walrus in a wedding gown, ready to faint. Each time she tried to convince herself that none of these things were going to happen, she only managed to make herself more anxious.

She picked up her thick curls and lifted them away from her back. Then she fanned her nape that was running rivers of heat. "I am hot...too hot." She muttered.

Lis stood up on a chair and took Eilin's hair in order to allow her hands to rest a moment. "You need to put them up my Lady. You won't be able to remain cool enough with this thick mane covering your back."

"He asked me to let them loose..." Eilin frowned.

"Who did?" Valdis asked as she pulled the strings behind Eilin's back in order to tighten the golden embroidery under her bosom, which allowed the rest of the dress to fall airily around her large belly and reach just above her ankles.

Eilin groaned as Valdis pulled harder. "Thorin...he wants my hair down."

Valdis pressed her lips and tied down the strings. "He doesn't like braids, we all know now."

Eilin exhaled in annoyance. "I am going to faint with my hair covering me like a bloody quilt."

Valdis looked at them for a few moments. "Maybe I can fix something for you, just give me a moment to tie down the strings of your dress. Is it too tight?"

Eilin shook her head. "No that's fine."

Valdis finished and then came around to check on Eilin's bosom. Without feeling any embarrassment she placed her hand on the side of Eilin's breast and pulled it up, then she repeated from the other side and checked her work critically. She cupped Eilin's breasts and pushed them together. "That's an eye catcher alright." She said thoughtfully.

Eilin looked down at her rather voluptuous cleavage and cringed. "Do I want to catch many eyes? That will probably piss Thorin off." She pulled his golden dove out of the canyon of her cleavage and aligned it properly.

"You want to catch his eyes too!" Valdis said and went behind Eilin. She picked up her voluminous hair and looked at them deliberately.

"Don't I have them already?" Eilin's mouth broke in a small smile.

Valdis tilted her head. "A woman must foster her husband's romantic interest, pregnant or not. Especially on your wedding day you must look absolutely stunning!"

Eilin exhaled and fanned her face and neck. "What am I going to do with all this hair?"

"Hmmm..." -Valdis hummed and turned to Lis- "I have an idea, do you mind if I give it a try?"

Eilin flicked her shoulders. "It'd be a pleasure, especially if it helps me keep them off my back in some manner. All this anxiety that is pooling in my stomach, is turning into rivers of sweat. I am staining my precious dress already."

"Ladies bring over some hand fans to cool down the Queen!" Valdis commanded and Eilin's mouth broke into an honest smile at seeing this tortured soul slowly recovering.

"Now let me see what I can do...Lis can you bring me every hair pin you can find on the table?" Valdis turned to the little girl who was trying to dress up for the event also. To her mother's dismay she had chosen to dress like a soldier. She allowed her trousers to fall down to her ankles and then shuffled to the table in order to pick up all the items Valdis asked, only wearing her pink panties, which were a huge contradiction to her leather trousers.

Something that made Eilin smirk before she turned her attention to Valdis again. "Thank you so much for helping me out."

Valdis smiled back at her. "Believe me it's a pleasure. I need the distraction." She pulled Eilin's thick mane up at a loose ponytail and then began twisting it around until she created a rather large bun which resembled a rose on the back of her head.

Eilin's lips turned down. She hesitated slightly. "How are you feeling?"

Valdis flicked her shoulder sadly and started placing the pins under the bun. "Too many feelings have been buried in me for too long...There was always so much pressure to be perfect, too many demands. I am trying to start over. It's difficult, but I am going to do it."

Eilin looked down at her hands solemnly. "You miss her?"

Valdis looked critically at the bun and began to pull out several long locks, which she allowed to cascade down Eilin's back. "She was my sister and I loved her, no matter how much I suffered at times. This is a newfound freedom I am living...nevertheless it is a freedom I never wished for."

Eilin felt her eyes burning. "I never understood how bad things were for you."

Valdis smiled and split the locks she had freed from the bun into three parts. "Nobody had...or at least that is what I thought. Maybe my father understood. He knows I tried to take my own life and he knows what I have suffered because of my sister all these years. He never admitted it to me, but I see it by the way he is taking care of me now. He is full of guilt..."

Eilin looked up. "It's never too late to make changes, is it?"

Valdis shook her head and chose a diamond bead with the Longbeard sigil to hold the braid together. "It's never too late, but I wish I was brave enough to reveal my suicide attempt to my father and he was brave enough to admit that he knows what happened. My mother is still in denial, but I cannot expect anything more from her. Our relationship was always kind of competitive and cold." She threw the braid above Eilin's shoulder and her warrior braid above the other shoulder. Then she looked at Eilin's face on the mirror.

Eilin's hands run down both braids. "Wow..." she muttered.

Valdis smiled softly and turned Eilin's head sideways so she could see the bun on top. "You like it?"

Eilin felt a few tears running down her face. "It's amazing."

"Our King hates braids, but I bet he's going to love these ones!" Valdis beamed.

Eilin nodded happily. "I hope so!"

Valdis pressed her shoulders. "Do you feel cooler now ?"

Eilin shook her head. "I can breathe again, thank you for doing all this for me."

Valdis' bright smiled didn't waver. "Anytime my dear, anytime!"

* * *

Little did the women know that outside their doors Dis was standing in front of Fili, with Rhiannon on tow. She was holding a golden tray that had an intricate, but very dainty net of diamonds on it that were sparkling under the bright light of the lamps. She was looking at Fili's fist that he was quick to hide behind his back with a deep frown. "Are you ready son?" She looked at his flawless royal attire. The dark maroon tunic and his leather vest with the Longbeard sigil on it. His shiny boots and the leather coat with the dark fur on it's lapels. His hair was brushed to perfection and his beard braids were made fresh. A look of happiness was on his countenance that she didn't want to destroy, but the tightness of her stomach was too hard to overlook.

"Yes I am and so are you by the looks of it!" Fili smiled at her.

Dis' lips upturned slightly. "I think so."

Fili pointed at the tray. "For Eilin?"

Dis nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, from the King."

"Nice choice." Fili rejoined impressed.

Dis cleared her throat and looked back at Rhiannon who stood there with her hands crossed, looking at her boots. They had cleaned her thoroughly and dressed her up, but she still looked rough and rather ill. She was weak, but she wasn't going to miss Eilin's wedding so she begged the princess to attend. Dis did the best she could and hoped the girl wouldn't collapse during her brother's coronation. "You want to go in? Eilin is probably waiting for you." She said quietly.

Rhiannon gave a fleeting look at both Dis and the impressive Prince. "Fuck yeah I do!" -then she cringed regretfully- "I mean ...I mean, yes ma'am, can I?"

Fili snorted amused.

Dis inhaled deeply and pointed at the door with her head. "Keep it down with the swearing and go right in, I'm coming in a moment."

Rhiannon opened the door and the moment Eilin saw her she released Valdis' hands and ran up to her friend. They embraced fiercely and they began hopscotching like kids.

"I don't believe you are getting married!" Rhiannon yelled.

"I don't believe it either!" Eilin reciprocated.

"To a King!" Rhiannon screeched.

"To the love of my life! To the father of my children!" Eilin cried and pulled Rhiannon into a tight hug.

"You look dazzling!" Rhiannon pushed back to admire her best friend and Dis steadied the tray on the wooden panel and drew the door closed.

"I wanted to go in too, why did you close it?" Fili frowned.

"Because I want to have a word with you." Dis said solemnly.

Fili crossed his arms and leaned back to the wall. "Alright let's hear it mother."

"Why are you becoming so defensive with me?" Dis felt her eyes burning.

"Because I've heard this so many times, I am getting fed up." Fili pursed his lips.

"Isn't a mother allowed to give advice to her only son?" Dis rejoined.

"One time, yes. All the time no...and by the way, you can give advice, but you don't have the right to enforce it!" Fili raised his brow coldly.

"When did I ever try to enforce myself on you?" Dis' voice elevated.

"All the time! The only thing that stopped you was us leaving with uncle Thorin for this quest! Something you tried to stop likewise!" Fili rebuked heavily.

"I wish I managed to stop you! Your brother would have still been alive..." Dis' voice crawled with anger.

Fili averted his eyes and his face paled. He remained silent at that.

Dis closed her eyes and leaned against the wall after a few tense moment. "You felt I was too controlling?"

"Always," her son spat.

Dis nodded. "That is the fate of a mother. No matter her constant sacrifices for the well being of her children, they are bound to blame all their miseries on her."

"Don't victimise yourself," Fili crossed his arms and his jawline flexed.

Dis looked at him sharply. "Victimise myself?! Do you think it was easy to lose your father when you were just barely six years of age and your brother was one?!"

Fili felt his throat closing down, but he remained silent.

"Shut your mouth and be more respectful of the people who sacrificed everything to raise you and your brother!" Dis spat angrily.

Fili looked at her sideways, but he had lost all his bravado in view of his mother's fiery counter attack.

"After that accursed battle our poor family was decapitated! My husband, my brother, my grandfather...they all died! Thorin escaped by a hair's inch that day! When he returned heartbroken and drenched in blood to announce to me that everyone apart from him and our father was dead I felt the world opening up to swallow me! I remember little of those few days after the battle. Thorin had taken over you boys and I had locked myself up in my rooms, denying to get out of bed. I still don't know how I managed to pull myself together. You believe you know everything don't you? Just because you fought bravely in some battles, you have witnessed death and now you think you are in love..."

"I don't -think- I am in love! I am!" Fili spat straight to her face.

Dis' brow clouded. "Do you now? Then put Valdis in your father's place and imagine yourself losing her in a battle..."

Fili face blanched and his lips parted.

"Now you may have felt a small morsel of the pain I experienced back then, you arrogant young man!" Dis continued relentlessly.

Fili's eyes filled with tears.

"If there is anyone entitled to express their opinion about your life choices...repeatedly then that's me! And right after me is the man who raised you like a father!" Dis grumbled and kicked the wall behind her in anger.

"I am sorry mother," Fili's voice was diminished.

"Telling me I have no right! I have every right and I will use it to the maximum to remind you to be careful! No matter your choices you have to be careful and keep your eyes open! Sometimes the heart can deceive us! Let your mind judge the people around you, not your heart for it might deceive you!" She continued with the same authoritative tone.

"You have every right to tell me your opinion, but why would you use it to suffocate me? What have I done so wrong? I love a woman...didn't you love a man? Doesn't my uncle love a woman? Isn't this natural mother?" Fili looked at her yearningly.

Dis gritted her teeth. "It is, but you must choose who to love, wisely."

"Does such a thing exist? Love and wisdom together? You mean to tell me that when your heart ached for my father, it was your logic that led you to him?" Fili raised his brow.

His mother glared at him.

"Or do you want to convince me that uncle Thorin used his immense wisdom to choose an interracial maiden with a shady past?" Fili tilted his head.

Dis' face paled.

"No, you both used your instincts and listened to your heart. I know that might fail sometimes, but neither in your case, nor in uncle Thorin's did it fail. Why am I not allowed to try the same then?" Fili spoke with ever growing confidence.

Dis inhaled deeply and her nose flared.

"I know Valdis belongs to a family that almost destroyed us. Uncle Thorin loves her father and uncle Dain, but her sister almost tore us apart. Where is Valdis in this equation? I know that worries you, for none of us know if her loyalty is with Fain and Dain, or if she has taken more after her sister than we would like. Allow me mother to tell you that from the few things I have seen that she has no traces of Karunn in her blood. They may have been sisters, but they are two different people. Didn't her attempted suicide speak to our hearts? She was as much a victim as the rest of us..."Fili continued fiercely.

"Yes, but..." Dis tried, but he spoke over her.

"Yes, but what? Am I still not allowed to try and fail...? Why?"

Dis hesitated. "Because I don't want to lose you too..." She whispered and felt the tears that had been pooling in her eyes releasing.

Fili frowned. "Lose me?"

She swallowed a dry throat. "I lost one son...I don't want to lose the second one."

Fili approached his mother and cupped her cheek. She averted her eyes, but he drew her head to him again. "Why didn't you tell me that was your fear?"

She shook her head, not knowing what else to say. The tray in her hands began shaking.

"You lost Kili to war...I might get lost in love. Is it the same?" Fili's voice became more loving and caring upon witnessing the pained emotions that abounded in the heart of his fierce mother.

"It is the same to me...I will have neither of you anymore." Her voice broke.

His brows creased. "I won't leave Erebor. I will stay here with Valdis, if ...if we end up together in the end. Besides you won't be alone. You have uncle Thorin and your nephews are about to be born..."

"Or nieces..." Dis' lips cracked in a sad smile.

Fili smiled down at her sweetly. "And maybe...maybe after a long time where I will allow my mind to collaborate with my heart, me and Valdis might offer you some grandchildren?"

Dis sobbed and laughed at the same time. "You think so?"

He pulled the tray out of her hand and gave it to the guards standing at the flanks of the royal chambers. "You said our family was decapitated in the Battle of Moria."

Dis nodded and Fili drew her in a warm embrace that she reciprocated quickly. "Now I see our family blooming. We may have lost my brother, but I see hope. Can't you?"

She sobbed on his chest and shook her head. "I don't know...I cannot stop thinking about him even in my happiest hours."

"Who can judge a mother who has lost a child? I cannot, for I have no lived through such hell." Fili pressed his lips.

"I wish this hell to no one. Not even Fain who lost Karunn." Dis whispered.

Fili pressed her tightly. "Kili cannot be forgotten by any of us. You know how many times I have seen uncle Thorin down at the burial vaults, sitting in the dark all alone in silent vigil?"

Dis nodded. "I have seen him too."

"Even now, with a wife full of children and one step from his coronation and he's still mourning the loss of my brother. He was down there at the first hours of dawn three nights ago." Fili continued.

"I know," Dis clasped Fili's back.

"We all mourn, but we also know that my brother is at peace. " he smiled and pulled back to see his mother's face.

She wiped away her tears and smiled. "That is what I want to believe."

"Kili knows we are safe mother, and he is at rest. Maybe in time we can all move on, but you have to allow us...to allow me...to try." Fili continued with quite patience.

Dis swallowed heavily. "I will try."

Fili kissed her forehead. "I love you mother."

"I love you my son," she said and drew him into a fierce hug that blew all the air out of his lungs.

He kept holding her until she drew back and reached behind to grasp his hands. She brought them forth and looked down at them. "Why were you waiting outside Eilin's doors?"

"I wanted to talk with Valdis." He spoke quietly.

Dis turned his hand around and opened up his tight fist. She looked at the golden royal bead in it. "This for her?"

His cheeks blushed. "I was hoping she would accept to wear my bead for the coronation."

Dis' eyes overflowed with tears again only this time they were of happiness. She pushed him back and pointed at the door. "Well, what are you waiting for then young man? She's in there. Go on!"

Fili's lips came up into a dazzling smile that mellowed Dis' heart. Seeing her boy so happy was priceless. "You won't cause any trouble?"

Dis composed herself and run her fingers above her intricate braids in order to settle down any stray hair. "What do I have to do with all this? I am just going to give Eilin the jewellery Thorin wishes her to wear."

Fili nibbled his bottom lip and pulled her in. He gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. "I love you mom!"

She pushed him away. "Get away! You are messing me up! Enough...now go in!" She commanded.

He gave her one last grateful smile and opened the door. Dis allowed it to close and took a moment to recollect before following her son inside. When she did, her smile was sparkling more than the diamonds that were meant for Eilin.

* * *

It was several hours later when Eilin grabbed hold of Dis' hand for support and looked with perturbation at the open area of the King's Halls that was full to the brim. The crowd was kept open by the soldiers who had created a path for her. At the landing of the staircase were two royal guards and in front of them stood Lieutenant Dongar. The moment Eilin and the Princess appeared they presented arms creating an echo of clashing axes that extended all through that grand hall, the great entrance and reached the long bridge that led to the throne room. Everyone was looking at Eilin with a silent expectancy that was sending waves of cold sweat down her back. She squeezed Dis' hand and the princess reciprocated.

"Stand straight and walk down to them. They were sent here by my brother to escort you." She spoke quietly and kept her regal bearing lofty and untouched. The people's quiet anticipation that twisted like a vice around Eilin's poor mind, didn't seem to touch Dis at all.

"I will step down this staircase and I am going to break my face..." Eilin whispered.

Dis placed her steady palm on Eilin's waist and pushed her slightly. "Nothing is going to happen. Think of something that will calm you down...anything."

Eilin closed her eyes briefly and exhaled. "His face..." she murmured.

Dis looked at her and a ghostly smile appeared on her lips. "Think of him and walk down proudly. You will see him soon. Allow that thought to give you comfort."

Eilin's head gave a small nod and her hand grasped the railing lightly as she took the first step down. She thought that her pained legs and the heaviness of her belly would have made it impossible to to do this alone, but the image of Thorin and the smiles of pride and admiration that slowly began filled up the room as she approached the people, fed her with courage with each step she took. Instead of allowing her heart to get saturated in fear, she raised her eyes and steeled her thudding heart. When she stopped at the landing, the royal guards presented arms again and lieutenant Dongar bowed and placed his fist above his heart.

"Your majesty." He said with a loud and clear voice.

Dis pressed Eilin's forearm.

Eilin tilted her head. "Lieutenant." She acknowledged.

Dongar smiled and gave Dis a brief affectionate look that made the Princess' cheeks catch on fire. He took the lead of the progression and Eilin was placed between two huge guards who offered her their elbows, instead of just walking next to her like etiquette commanded. She frowned and hesitated, but Dongar answered her unspoken question.

"King's orders my Lady." He smiled.

Eilin engaged the elbows of the two formidable guards and Dis leaned close to her. "Thorin knows you have a difficulty walking. He is trying to help. Do as Dongar says."

Eilin felt a wave of love towards towards her husband rushing through her heart which was followed by a ripple of relief. Knowing that she was being held up by two strong men was enough to steady her through this dreaded long progression to the throne room. She tightened her elbows with them and they reciprocated by lowering their military pace to match that of the Queen.

"My lady, this is for you...please accept it..." a common woman offered her a bouquet of flowers and Eilin's lips curled up gratefully.

"Thank you," she whispered, but Dis pressed her fingers on Eilin's waist and spoke in a hushed tone. "Allow Lis to take the flowers and don't address each and everyone. Incline your head and smile."

Eilin swallowed and did so. Lis took the flowers and placed them in her basket. While Eilin walked down the King's Halls with the help of the Royal guards the people slowly eased up from their frozen curiosity and excitement began floating through them as they praised the Queen's beautiful face, her astonishing gown, the blinding diamond net on her long hair, but above all her gracious smile. Eilin heard whispers of deep awe overtaking the original forbidding silence of those tall caverns. It's echo travelled and reverberated between the endlessly tall columns. Those whispers of subdued admiration fed her heart with courage, that kept erupting with adrenaline when an abrupt cry meant to draw her attention appeared out of the darkest corners, now and again.

"Our Queen! Here, here! We are here!" a voice said and she tried to locate it, but failed as many hands were waving at her eager to make her notice them.

"She's so beautiful!"

"So regal!"

"Look at her mom, she's amazing!"

"She's got a belly full of people! Look!"

"We love you!"

"Can I touch your dress my Lady?!"

"I want to kiss her hand!"

"Let me touch your belly my Lady, it's good luck!"

"Me, look at me, up here!"

"Here here my Lady...we are here by the columns!"

They few sparse cries gave courage to the rest and in the end everyone began yelling out to her. A heavy vocal carpet of reverence began pulsating around her, like a living organism, making her slightly dizzy. She inclined her head majestically as Dis had advised her and smiled back to every bright and eager face she could see. She felt her dress being pulled and first thought that someone had stepped on it's long tail, but when she turned around she saw a woman on her hands and knees holding tightly the hem of her dress and offering it a kiss.

Eilin's heart skirted.

That action of humble love, truly boggled her poor mind. She felt confused, lost and close to a panic, but she forced herself to smile at that woman and immediately received back a heartwarming smile before allowing the guards to lead her on steadily. When she reached the antechamber that led to the throne room all this explosive devotion from the commoners was starting to break her. Even though Dis told her not to approach any of them, or address them personally, when Eilin witnessed an older lady falling to her knees in order to crawl and touch her dress she disengaged her arms from the guards and came down to one knee. Dongar gave the Queen a look of apprehension and tried to intervene, but Dis' curt nod stopped him.

Eilin's hand reached out and touched the old woman's shoulder and everyone froze in anticipation. "Don't crawl for me please." Eilin felt her eyes overflowing with tears.

The old dwarrowdam remained like a statue in front of her, shocked into silence.

Eilin took the hem of her dress and grasped the woman's hand. She opened it up and placed the hem in it. The old woman closed it tightly and her eyes filled with tears. "I thought I was never going to see a worthy Queen by the side of our King in this golden city. The holy Maker has blessed me to witness the most beautiful and honourable Queen our kin has ever had." She whispered.

Eilin smiled at her brightly. "Thank you."

The old dwarrowdam brought the hem to her mouth and kissed it firmly. Then she reached out and touched Eilin's growing bump. She leaned down and kissed it with gentle reverence. "Thank you for giving me the opportunity to tell my grandchildren that I have met the mighty Queen of Erebor and I have touched her pregnant body as it is carrying the holy heirs of Durin!" she said with a loud voice and the tense silence that had covered the admiring crowd erupted into an applause that shook the ground under Eilin. She felt her heart racing and her head spinning as the people tried to show their appreciation. They had just witnessed a Queen who was not afraid to come down to the level of the commoners and embrace them lovingly, much like their King had done so many times. It was Dis who helped a shaken Eilin up as the people around them shouted in joy and praise. The tears in Eilin's eyes released and she didn't want to wipe them off. At that moment it mattered little to her if she was going to be impeccable for her husband's coronation and their wedding. It was more important to allow her feelings to channel through, as she witnessed the love and acceptance of the people for her.

When once upon another lifetime she was hiding in the shadows afraid to show herself, now she was embraced not only by one the mightiest kings of Middle Earth and his family, but also she was received wholeheartedly by the whole of Erebor. She inhaled deeply and took up courage as the guards led her steadily under the Royal archway with the runes of power carved upon it. The long bridge that led to the throne was lined with people who held candles and bowed respectfully as she passed. These were the Lords and Ladies of this stronghold. All the brave military officers, master scribblers, master masons and builders. Anyone who had a title of nobility in their family or in their work had taken over the three bridges of the throne room, but what Eilin couldn't see were the several bridges beneath them that were overflowing with common people who held candles likewise, making the darkness below the throne room seem like a night sky. She looked at the right side of the throne and saw Thorin's company and close friends. Her eyes fell on Bofur who puffed up proudly and waved at her. Her lips cracked a sweet smile and she looked at the other side where Gandalf the grey and Radagast the brown were standing. Next to them stood the mayor of Dale, the impressive delegation of the Mirkwood Elves surrounding their majestic King and several other official looking people she had no way of knowing.

All were here, waiting to welcome the King and the Queen. Every single soul in Erebor, standing high or low, anticipated to see the new rulership of Erebor rising and with it a new era for Middle Earth. They wanted to witness first hand the alliances that had formed and feel secure under this unison of the Seven families. As Eilin approached the throne everyone bowed in respect. Even King Thranduil tilted his head slightly to give her his acknowledgment. Balin stood regal and dressed in golden robes in front of the throne. He pointed elegantly to the right of it and the guards led the Queen there. Dis and Valdis took Eilin's flanks and Lis stood in front of her with the basket full of flowers.

"Are you feeling okay?" Dis asked in a hushed tone and run her fingers above Eilin's simple braid.

"Yes my Lady." Eilin's voice was slightly trembling and so were her hands. It was impossible to remain calm throughout all this. Nobody would have been, not even Thorin...she was certain. Even though he was born in royalty all this representation of love wouldn't leave him untouched.

"You feel like faint?" Dis murmured and Valdis looked apprehensively at the Queen.

"No...no...just excitement...anxiety...where is he?" she looked towards the corridor feeling her overloaded stomach full of butterflies...or were the babies becoming too active again?

"He's coming soon." -Dis' lips broke into a subtle smile- "My brother always needs to make a grand entrance."

Valdis smiled and looked at the other side of the throne were Lieutenant Dongar stood behind the haughty looking Prince Fili. He offered her a look that had a trace of playfulness in it and she felt her heart speeding up. Her cheeks became crimson and she averted her eyes, not noticing her father who stood at the first rows of the bridge giving them both a proud look and engaging the elbow of his wife who looked way too glowering for the brightness of that day.

Eilin tried hard not to fidget nervously while Dis and Valdis fixed her hair and straightened her dress for what felt like an eternity. All the noble Lords and Ladies were watching her like hawks. Unlike the common people who had no reservation at showing her their love, this gathering seemed less warm, but nonetheless it was brimming with unspoken admiration towards her, that was betrayed upon their faces as they leaned close to each other in order to gossip about the Queen's superb dress and expensive jewellery. The common people may have admired Eilin's beauty and growing bump, but the court of Erebor was picking apart every single detail of the Queen's appearance and they were not able to find any faults apart from her hairless face. Something that nobody ever gave attention to anymore. So Eilin stomached this silent scrutiny, steeling her heart with the thought of seeing Thorin soon enough and the moments rolled by with her becoming more and more nervous. She wanted to ask a question that sounded stupid even to her own ears, never mind the ears of the princess. How did they know that Thorin was alright and that he was coming?

She counted inwards trying to calm down the tightness of her stomach, questioning Thorin's well being until the deafening ring of Erebor's war trumpets gave her all the answers. She remembered their hair raising deep roar when Erebor welcomed it's King home when they returned from the Shire. Nevertheless hearing them from the inside of the stronghold, where every sound was enhanced as it resonated upon the stone walls was a whole different experience. She felt her back breaking in goosebumps repeatedly as the trumpets rang exactly three times.

"All bow for the King!" the command came strong from Balin's mouth.

Eilin's lips parted as she saw everyone kneeling down and touching the ground, Thorin's company, the military, the Mayor of Dale, the representatives of the Northmen and Rohan. The only ones who didn't kneel, but bowed were the wizards, the Elves and their King. Eilin looked back at Dis and Valdis who came down to one knee also and she was about to do the same, when Dis' hand stopped her. "You don't kneel. You bow."

Eilin held her breath and looked at the corridor that led up to the bridge impatiently. First she heard the salutation of the guards who presented arms as Thorin was passing in front of them and then she saw him and her heart did an excited somersault and skipped many beats leaving her breathless. He walked majestically in front of the six Lords, dressed in royal blue, matching the colour of his mesmerising eyes. His golden frilled vest and his belt that was full of precious gems were sparkling under the brightly lit cavern, but nothing was more bewitching to her than his face. His blue velvet coat had white fur all around the lapels and dragged along behind him and all she could think of was how amazing it would be to snuggle into that coat and inhale his scent deeply while he wrapped his arms around her. He had no gems on his hair or braids, and the rings he wore were his usual ones. The only thing that was placed on his handsome head was the prestigious Raven Crown.

A monumental silence fell all over Erebor like a heavy blanket. Every whisper quietened and all eyes looked to the floor even at the lower levels, were the King couldn't see. The monumental respect he inspired in everyone was enough to silence even the darkest and deepest chasms of the Lonely Mountain and even the caws of his crows that were flying around the ramparts. Nobody dared speak or possibly even breathe as Thorin marched up to his throne. Eilin bowed deeply feeling her heart exploding with her love and devotion to him. When he passed close to her she felt the air that his body carried with it, touching her senses with it's usual comforting scent and she inhaled deeply, taking courage from it. The Lords aligned at the flanks of his throne. Three on each side with Durar and Dain being the ones closest to the Arkenstone as they ranked higher than the rest.

Balin struck his golden staff three times upon the polished black stone that was covering the floor. Then with a deep voice he roared. "All hail the King of the North!"

The Lords behind him cried in unison. "All hail the King of the North!" and came down to one knee.

Then every single cavern that led up to the throne room erupted in a united cry of pride that send a tremor under the very foundations of the golden city. "All hail the King of the North!"

Eilin cried louder than anybody else and felt the tears in her eyes releasing as her body erupted with shivers. She reached behind her blindingly searching for Dis' hand. The princess clasped it gently and Eilin exhaled in relief.

Thorin remained immovable and expressionless for several moments before walking up the three steps that led to his throne. As he turned around and sat on it, his long coat covered the stony steps.

He leaned back and gazed at his court regally. "Stand up." His rich voice echoed in the royal cavern.

His court remained respectfully silent and modestly careful to show their admiration to their acclaimed King in a quiet and obedient manner, but the other levels below didn't have the same restrictions of etiquette. They exploded in cherry exclamations and cries of praise and veneration that overflowed the throne room with a positive energy that didn't leave anyone unaffected. Not even Thorin who was supposed to hold on a cold facade. He turned to Eilin and when their eyes engaged the doting smile that blossomed on her mouth was enough to break a soft smile on his lips in turn. He averted his gaze with great difficulty and gave a silent signal to Balin, who began presenting the King of the North with the delegations that had arrived to present their allegiance and requests to him.

The first ones to stand in front of the King were the Northmen that resided west, between Anduin and the Misty Mountains. They presented him with handmade clothes, furs and quilts of the utmost quality for him, his wife and his children and he accepted them graciously. They expressed their blessings for Thorin's rulership to be long and fair and had only one request from him.

"Your majesty, will the Dwarven Road that runs through Mirkwood remain open for us? We wish to start trading with Erebor soon. Our races have a long history of buying and selling goods to each other. It is our deepest desire to reestablish these relationships of old with your blessings, under your new powerful rule. We in turn can ensure the safe passages of your people across the Misty Mountains for many years to come." The leader bowed respectfully.

"It will be a pleasure to trade again with your people and exchange in favours." Thorin inclined his head majestically and the Northmen left with satisfied smiles on their faces.

Then it was the turn of Lord Bard, who wore the famous Necklace of Girion above his impressive clothing. He bowed for the King. "King Thorin, you know that Dale always saw the Kings of Erebor as it's Kings, since the era of your grandfather, the mighty Thror. Today we are here to admire our King sit under the King's Gem and to remind him not to forget Erebor's moon city, Dale, in his long and just rulership."

Thorin smiled down at Bard and caressed his bearded chin. "That means that Dale is ready to bow to the laws of Erebor, correct?"

Bard inclined his head respectfully. "Yes, my King."

Thorin inclined his head. "Very well, so shall it be."

The Dale delegation fell to their knees and offered Thorin their gift, which was a golden harp that their craftsmen had managed to make from scratch. It had runes of power on it's body and precious gems on it's crown.

Thorin smiled knowingly. "Where did you find those gems?"

Bard smiled knowingly. "Our King brought them to us when we were in need. He showed us that day his fair judgment and we wanted to show our gratitude by giving some back to him." He bowed.

Thorin's smile deepened. "We may have had a rough start, but thank you."

Bard's smile was wide. "Thank you for supporting us when we were mostly at need."

A small shadows passed above Thorin's clear brow and it took him several moments to speak again. "Forgive me for bringing that hell upon you..." He said.

Bard averted his eyes and so did Balin and all of Thorin's company. The Lord of Dale remained thoughtful for a few moments before meeting Thorin's eyes again. "There was no other way. I know now, so let us forget the past and look only at the future."

Thorin's lips turned down. "Before we do, I have a request for you."

Bard bowed deeply. "At your orders my King."

"I will provide you with masons. I want you to rebuild what remains of Esgaroth and let become a monument to human greed. A sin that can destroy even the most noble of hearts." Thorin said quietly.

Bard's eyes pooled with tears. "It shall be done...your majesty."

Thorin inclined his head and averted his eyes as the Dale delegation walked away leaving the King more emotional than he would have wanted at that moment.

It was King Thranduil's presence that drew Thorin out of the darkness that had overtaken him momentarily. The Elven King inclined his head loftily and his soldiers bowed in respect. Thorin wished he could have remained as cold as his grandfather Thror would have been in the face of this ancient foe, but different emotions and another kind of understanding was now connecting him with this ancient being. He pushed himself up and walked down the steps of his throne. He extended his hand to Thranduil and waited. Thranduil smiled and clasped Thorin's forearm.

"I am glad that your stubborn Dwarfish head finally realised that you had to return to this throne." Thranduil said in a low tone and tilted his head.

"You made your threat come true, didn't you? You withdrew your allegiance to my people. How do you know I am not absolutely mad at you?" Thorin raised his brow.

"I warned you at Dol Guldur. My allegiance is to you personally, not your kin. Now if your kin proves throughout the years that it will act as honourably towards me as you have, then I will vow once more to fight next to your kin, may you be on that throne or not." Thranduil replied calmly.

Thorin humphed.

"Besides the Lady of Light has seen a great future for your family. One of your children holds an ancient spirit inside him. A spirit of great legacy if I am not mistaken." Thranduil leaned over to Thorin and whispered.

Thorin's eyes sparkled, but he remained silent.

Thranduil withdrew his hand and presented his soldiers with an elegant wave of his hand. "A gift to the King of the North, from the Elves of Mirkwood."

Thorin frowned as the Elven guard unwrapped a velvet case and revealed a golden tray that held in it the shards of a broken blade. Anyone else would have been offended by such a gift, but not Thorin. He reached out and touched it's handle. "How did you manage to get this out of Elrond's grip?"

Thranduil smiled. "You kindly requested my help for it and I found that request justified after you informed me about Telchar's family line. I convinced Elrond that it needed to return to your kin so you can reforge it into a mighty sword. A sword that will be wielded by prestigious Kings in the future."

Thorin raised his brow. "Thank you."

Thranduil tilted his head. "Your Kin forged it, it is yours to give to whomever you wish when the time comes, but be aware. A child was born ten years ago in the west. The son of Arathorn the second."

Thorin frowned. "Isildur's heir?" He whispered.

Thranduil nodded and came close to Thorin's ear again. "He is fostered in Rivendell and his lineage must be kept a secret."

Thorin's fingers tightened around Thranduil's forearm. "I understand."

"He might claim this sword one day." Thranduil spoke in hushed tones.

Thorin frowned deeply and then gave a deep thoughtful look at his wife who was looking at her hands. "Telchar's descendant shall pass this sword on to it's rightful owner when the time comes."

Thranduil looked at Eilin pleased. "Who shall reforge it?"

Thorin inclined his head haughtily. "I will."

Thranduil smiled to him satisfied. "May you rule wisely and long King of the North."

Thorin's lips curled up to a soft smile. "Thank you."

Thranduil bowed again slightly and so did Thorin who gave the remains of the Narsil to Dwalin and walked back to the throne. When the delegation of the land of Rohan arrived in front of the King, it was the wizard Gandalf who was mostly interested on what was going to be spoken between them. The brave men of the south spoke respectfully and kneeled in front of Thorin. "King of the north, we come as messengers from King Thengel to offer his deepest respect for this mighty alliance between Dwarves, Men and Elves. We wish to enter this alliance as our lands are lately troubled by men that shouldn't have questioned our authority north of Gondor. The great Steward Turgon trusts on Rohan to protect its lands to the north, but also to the west. Since your alliance has expanded almost down to Lorien, we would like to request a meeting in order to discuss about the problems we have with Fangorn forest and it's master. We have brought you and your Lady two of our best horses. They were born and bred like our own children. May they serve you long, may they ride you into the fiercest battles and may they die for you." The man didn't raise his eyes as he delivered the message of King Thengel.

It was Gandalf who interposed carefully. "King Thorin must be informed beforehand that the man against whom the Rohirrim have a feud with, is a member of the white council."

Thorin frowned. "The white council? Who?"

"Saruman the white." Gandalf raised his brow and looked at Radagast who pursed his lips.

Thorin sighed deeply and gazed down at Thengel's emissaries. "We will discuss this at a more appropriate time, but be aware that my allegiance to the Lady of Light will not waver. As she is a member of the white council and an ally of Saruman our collaboration might be at risk. Nevertheless you must inform King Thengel that I know the long history of his people and I admire their bravery and courage to the utmost. If I can offer my help without troubling the already build alliances then so I shall."

Gandalf straightened up rather pleased and Radagast smiled. The Rohirrim guard pressed his fist above his heart and bowed his head. "Thank you my Lord!"

Gandalf approached when the emissaries of Rohan retreated and smiled at Thorin. "After our long and rather tremulous history I didn't expect you to act with such loyalty to the Lady of Light."

"You underestimated me then. That's common for you Mithrandir." Thorin's lips turned down in annoyance.

"You might find yourself surprised that I always did the exact opposite." Gandalf leaned on his staff and his eyes blinked at Thorin. They held in them a flare of ancient wisdom that couldn't be debated.

Thorin raised his chin imposingly. "Let the past go. Talk about the present."

Gandalf tilted his head and bowed gently. "Very well King of the North. I am afraid me and Radagast brought you a gift that pales in comparison to all the previous ones."

Thorin's brow rose slowly.

"We brought over just some barrels of Old Toby." Gandalf smirked.

Thorin gave Gandalf a majestic smile that made everyone smile with him. "You and the bird tamer need not bring me any presents. You have already offered them to me through your magic, several times."

Gandalf raised his brow. "Did I now?"

"You saved me, my wife and my child. I cannot ask for anything more..." A ghostly shadow passed from Thorin's previously clear brow.

The first honest sweet smile appeared on Gandalf's lips. "Are we over the difficulties of our relationship then?"

"I don't know." Thorin raised his brow.

Gandalf's lips twisted testily.

"Yet I will never forget what you did for me." Thorin had a hard time hiding the emotion from his voice.

Gandalf nodded and smiled. "The Gods always favoured you, King under the Mountain. I am glad I was there to help." -Then Gandalf's eyes fell on Thorin's bride who was almost shaking in anticipation.

"Still Mithrandir, I won't give my consent to you meddling in my kingdom. That will never change." Thorin raised his brow in a warning.

Gandalf engaged Radagast's elbow. "Don't fear King Thorin for I will not. You don't need my advice anymore."

Thorin's lips cracked in a smile and he inclined his head as the wizards drew back.

Eilin wished to look at him, but she was also so afraid. All the High Lords were profoundly majestic, but none of them even came close to the glory that emanated from Thorin's presence, as it was overtaking the whole room. The splendour and magnificence that surrounded him, the King's gem shining above his head, his immaculate royal military attire and the pride with which he carried his imposing body was overwhelming for her. The crown of immense legacy that he wore on his head and the respect everyone was showing him, were enough to break her apart. With every word uttered she felt more and more distanced from him. What was she doing up here next to his throne? She grew up in the gutter, didn't she? Why was she wearing this stunning dress of the finest silk and shoes that had on them precious gems? Why was her head full of diamonds and why were her fingers so cold and having such bad shakes? Why was she both sweating and freezing and why were the babies not kicking her now? Could they feel her anxiety and distress? She knew that if he was holding her hand, maybe she would have felt more in touch with her environment, but at that moment she was full of perturbation. She heard his melodic voice talking to the emissaries, but didn't even notice what they were saying. She was just counting inwardly hoping that someone would offer her a seat, lest she collapsed next to his throne and send everyone in a terrified frenzy.

It was the hand of Dis squeezing her forearm that notified her. Eilin looked up and felt her mouth parting with the need to breathe faster. She felt dizzy and unstable. Dis frowned at her. "We need to move."

Eilin frowned. "What?" she whispered.

"He's waiting for you," Dis smile and nodded towards the King.

Eilin turned and looked at him. He was standing there calmly, the most impressive man in the whole Kingdom, in front of his elaborate throne, surrounded by his court and allies and his eyes were only for her. She swallowed heavily and grabbed Dis' hand so tightly the Princess frowned worried. Nevertheless she led Eilin steadily to her brother. When they stopped in front of him Dis kneeled to the ground and when Eilin tried to do the same Dis stopped her again. "It is my honour to present you the Queen, your majesty."

He gave a sweet smile to his sister and took Eilin's hand in his. He frowned at how frozen it was and pulled her closer. She came at a breathing distance and kept her eyes between the golden embroidery of his velvet vest and the blue collar of his tunic. "Hey..." he whispered with such a low voice that only she could hear him.

Her eyes flickered up, but she felt too embarrassed to look at him at that moment. It didn't feel like she was being held by her Thorin, but by the King of the north. Even though they were one and the same, Eilin was put to shame by the glorious presence of this legendary man in front of her, momentarily forgetting how many times she had made passionate love with him and that she was carrying his children. She couldn't remember that this man loved her to death and so did she. Her frozen fingers twisted painfully around his. She needed him to ground her in some manner.

"Are you going to collapse on me now?" his voice held the tone of affectionate warmth she loved so much.

She shook her head. "I hope I won't."

"Look at me." -he said with a steady voice and she lifted her eyes to him. That was it. The moment his azure eyes captured hers affectionately, every single fear, doubt, shame, anxiety and worry got lifted away from her body. Her shoulders felt lighter and her extremities began warming up under his beloved gaze. Her lips upturned in a soft smile- "Better?" He asked.

She nodded and felt the movement of her babies in her belly. She didn't know if they had felt their father and tried to make their presence known, or now she could feel them because she felt less nervous. "Yes..." she whispered.

"Are you going to become awkward?" He smirked and raised his hand to caress the long braid that was resting above her shoulder.

"I'll try not to..." she murmured gently.

His eyes admired her for several burning moments. When his eyes seared into hers again her heart was already thudding like mad in her ears. "You look absolutely mesmerising..." he whispered.

"And you utterly regal..." she reciprocated and her fingers twisted around his desperately.

His lips curled up in a loving smiled that warmed her heart.

She felt so sheepish. It was as if she was meeting him for the first time all over again. She began fidgeting with his sleeves nervously. "Do you mind that I put my hair up like this?"

He pulled her head up by the chin and his eyes burrowed into hers. "Whatever you do, you will always take my breath away."

Her cheeks felt on fire and her heart ready to erupt. She nibbled her bottom lip and averted her eyes shyly.

His thumb traced her chin and he frowned. "I have never told you and I don't think I can find a more appropriate moment to do so."

She looked up to him longingly. "Tell me what?"

"Sometimes I feel like I've known you forever. Like I always knew your name" -he caressed her jawline gently- "Like I always knew your beloved face."

Eilin inhaled sharply.

"After Siv I thought I would never love again, yet I loved you more fiercely than I thought was humanly possible." He whispered.

Eilin's eyes pooled with tears and her bottom lip began trembling.

"You...the little bashful maiden, hiding her breathtaking beauty behind that dark hood..." the hairpin of his mouth curled up.

She blinked and a single tear run down her cheekbone.

His thumb wiped it off softly. "You were right..."

"About what?" she whispered breathless.

"On not wanting to show your face..." Thorin trailed off with a gentle smile.

"Why?" she exhaled and looked at his mouth. Her whole life was hanging from his lips at that moment and every discomfort in her body or fear in her heart was all but forgotten.

He frowned slightly and looked at her mouth. His thump caressed her bottom lip carefully. "Because the moment I saw you, you stole my heart."

Eilin's chest released a quiet sob and another tear run down her cheek, which he quickly wiped away.

"Look at you now..." Thorin tilted his chin at her.

Eilin's lips curled up and her heart galloped like a wild horse on an endless field.

"Your beauty is overshadowing even the most brilliant lights of crystal hue*" Thorin whispered.

Eilin closed her eyes and another tear run which this time he kissed away so gently that her heart melted in a pool of love. "Thorin..." She muttered, but his finger closed her mouth gently.

"Hush..." he spoke close to her mouth and all her cells came into attention for him.

"Everybody is here to admire the most august Queen Erebor had ever seen and I am truly humbled by your presence tonight." He whispered gently and Eilin's body broke in goosebumps.

She reached up and curled her thin fingers around his wrist.

"I am so proud to have you by my side..." he said quietly and pulled back. He nudged her head tenderly with is hand and she opened up her eyes to look at his.

Her lips parted and more tears run down her cheeks. Once more he had rendered her speechless...in front of all his kingdom this time.

"Thank you for giving me this chance to love you as fiercely as my heart demanded..." he continued.

Her hand squeezed his wrist and she closed her eyes tight as she was trying desperately not to break down in front of him.

"Thank you for giving me the opportunity to father two children. A gift for me that is of inestimable value." He frowned at her.

She nodded. "I know."

He leaned over and touched the hairpin of her mouth with his warm lips. "Without you I would still be lost, angry, full of hate, self doubt and remorse. I'd still be dead inside even though I was revived up in Ravenhill. You are the one who gave me true life and I will forever trust this life in your hands."

She pressed her lips and felt her salty tears wetting them. "I will hold it like the greatest treasure."

He nodded with a small smile. "I know you will my precious Eilin. I know you will."

Eilin leaned over and touched her forehead to his.

Thorin turned to Balin who immediately approached holding a golden tray. On it was a coronet made out of white gold and diamonds of breathtaking beauty and of extremely delicate artwork. A similar ring was in the middle of the coronet that had the same artwork engraved around Thorin's sigil. The King released Eilin's hands and took the coronet. "You once gave me a humble flower crown, shyly admitting that you wanted me to court you" -he spoke loud with his richly deep voice and Eilin was in rapture- "I am honoured to offer you a real crown, Queen of my heart, boldly declaring to everyone in Erebor that I wish for you to be my wife."

The Throne room exploded with a thundering exclamations when Thorin placed the coronet on Eilin's head. She felt her eyes bordering with tears. He smiled and took the ring that was on the tray. "I am blessed to offer you this ring as a token of my undying love for you. May you wear it till the end of my days."

Eilin's tears trickled down her cheeks when he placed the ring on her middle finger. He twisted it around a couple of times and then looked at her. "I love you..." he whispered.

She closed her eyes and more tears cascaded down her cheeks. She looked back at Dis who approached with a smaller golden tray of her own. She took a much bigger golden ring that was made by the same jeweller. There was a daisy facing up on it between all the delicate carvings. She took his hand and looked at him through blurry eyes. "I offer you this ring as a token of my unfading loyalty to you and to our family. If what I carry inside me is not enough to speak of the immeasurable love I feel for you, then let this ring declare it openly to the whole world. I wish the Gods will allow me to depart before you. I wish to see this ring on your hand the moment I close my eyes forever..." Her voice was broken.

Tears welled in Thorin's eyes.

"...because I swear my love...I cannot bear the thought that the Gods will curse me to remain behind without you. If that shall happen, I will follow you the very next moment."

He shook his head with a frown and opened his mouth to talk, but she stopped him.

"Don't frown, just smile for me please. One of your smiles is worth more than all the gold in Erebor. I love you so much." She whispered.

His palm cupped her cheek and pulled her close. His finger caressed her lips gently and when he blinked all those tears cascaded down his face. "My wife, my heart, my life." He murmured and leaned down to give a soft peck on her lips.

A deafening explosion of applause shattered the Throne room and subsequently all the areas that were crammed full of people. Thorin pulled back and looked at Eilin's beautiful green eyes that spoke so much to his heart and beamed down at her. She laughed then...and it was carefree. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he dipped down to kiss her more fiercely...and everybody was drawn into that love as it unfolded in front of the whole kingdom.

Women leaned into the embrace of their men and smiled at them wistfully. Children made yucky faces, only to be scolded by their mothers. Fathers picked up their sons and placed them on their shoulders in order for them to see better. Thorin's guards greeted their teeth and kept their strong bodies straight and proper when all they wanted to do was go and find their Ones in order to kiss them to oblivion also. His best scribblers wanted to take out their scrolls in order to document the events they were participating in, so the next generations would have the ability to study this historic day in full detail and back there in some dark corner Nyrthrasir reached out to clasp Myrna's hand in his. He brought it up to his lips and gave her a gentle kiss that dawned a ghostly smile on her pale lips.

As for Thorin's family...they had their own share of love running through them. Dwalin was looking nostalgically at Loa who was scolding Lis for the disgusted noises she was making. Fili was looking with devotion at the woman who stood next to his mother and Dis knew that sooner or later there would be another wedding in the family. As for the Princess, she allowed her eyes to drift to the royal guards in order to admire Lieutenant Dongar who looked imposingly handsome and forever modest. When their gazes engaged he lowered his eyes respectfully, but a small smile dawned on his lips and Dis smiled at her stippled fingers too.

When the trumpets sang again, the day that the kites were turned loose, everyone knew they were celebrating the rise of a King...but also the rise of a Queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Not mine, well not all of it...whose was it?


	69. It's the fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter, sorry for the delay *.*

That evening multiple fires got ignited in Erebor inside and out. It wasn't only the great feast that followed the coronation in the royal dining cavern and had Erebor's court and all the delegations invited, but every single level of the Mountain was in a bright and festive mood. From the deepest mining levels and social residential areas to the top floors, all major caverns and the cities adjoining them were overflowing with people that celebrated the rise of the King of the North. Not a single home was dark and no one dared to sleep during this historical night. All the houses were overflowing with people. They were lit up bright, and provided good food, ale, music and laughter for everyone till the break of dawn. Even the barracks of Erebor were overtaken by the celebrations and rivers of mead were streaming between the heavy boots of the soldiers who sang loud enough to shake Erebor to it's deepest roots. When once Erebor's thick walls were covered in darkness, now there was light in every corner chasing away the shadows and when once it's deep caverns were reigned by silence, they now echoed with happy voices and music. The only ones who didn't participate in the general debauchery were the Royal guards, but that didn't extend to their commander prince Fili. Despite the fact that he had the responsibility of keeping the royal family safe through all this madness, he was between those who ate a lot, drunk more and courted flirtatiously with Valdis from the moment he entered the royal dining cavern and nobody could blame him.

He was celebrating along with everyone else not only the rise of a King, but the rise of a whole Kingdom. The delegations from the far away cities kept their serious facade as long as they could, but the general mood soon overtook them also. Slowly they began loosening up after a few cups of the strongest ale and started partaking in the general debauchery. All apart from King Thranduil who was totally unaffected by the alcohol. Nevertheless even that steely personality found great interest in his long conversations with Thorin and was not in a hurry to cut them short.

Everyone wanted to grab the attention of The King. Gandalf wished to speak to him about the Northern Alliance. Radagast about his responsibility to keep the creatures of Mirkwood forest safe from any foes. The representatives of Rohan wanted to discuss the issues they were having with Saruman. The Northmen about new safe passages that needed to be built between the western part of Mirkwood and Rhovanion as they wanted to resume trades with Rohan and were adamantly asking Thorin's reassurances that he'd overlook these areas and he'd help create safe trading routes between them and the south.

Dale wanted to discuss about the rebuilding of Esgaroth and his vision for it. Bard declared openly that he intended to create his own army and use it not only as a protection for their city, but also as an outer protection of the southeastern part of Erebor's lands. They wanted Thorin to provide them with troops in order to train them.

Thranduil discussed with him the thin balances of his kin with the different Dwarven Kingdoms throughout Middle Earth and was very persistent about the darkness that was slowly raising from the east. He was quick to clear up to Thorin that after the creation of this mighty northern alliance the Ash mountains wouldn't remain silent for long. They were going to retaliate in some manner sooner or later, so they all had to be prepared.

Everybody sought Thorin, but his precious attention remained undivided upon his wife, even though he answered politely to all. His eyes though were solely for Eilin who looked absolutely spent and ill by the time the feast was coming to a closure. He didn't leave her side not even for a single moment, even though she caressed his hand and reassured him that she was fine. She knew how important it was for him to attend to his guest. There were various important diplomatic relationships that were being opened or established that evening, yet he denied sternly. Anyone who wished to talk, could find him seated on the most elaborate golden carved chair of the dining room with Eilin by his side, holding her hand affectionately and tending to her needs.

As for the poor Eilin, she had a far harder time than Thorin. She may have had her husband next to her during all this time supporting her with words or simply by his presence, but every single Lady in the room demanded her attention and the babies hadn't stopped kicking her. The Ladies approached her timidly at first, but their polite and kind manners drew Eilin in quickly. She didn't deny a single audience and she spoke with each and everyone despite the pulling of her stomach and the constant rivers of sweat that was drenching her back, making her rather hot and uncomfortable. The grand Ladies talked about her beautiful airy dress and the dazzling diamond net around her bun. They weaved praises for her enchanting beauty and about how big her belly was and how mighty the children she was birth were going to become. They wanted to see from up close, the golden coronet the King had offered his Queen and the diamond ring on her finger. They wanted to admire and take everything she had to give them.

Much like the commoners they felt that touching the Queen would offer them luck, but they were less keen in admitting to this folly. The Ladies that buzzed more vividly around Eilin were the free ones and they possibly yearned to be blessed with the same luck as her.

Thorin and Eilin complied patiently with the needs of their subjects while in truth they tried to take strength from each other in order to get through this demanding evening. Their hands were clasped tightly and their fingers stippled as they addressed everyone who wished for their attention with equal patience and politeness. Thorin left Eilin's side only once in order to get Lis who was hopscotching like crazy all over the room.

It was inevitable that when the King stood up every everyone's attention was solemnly on him, so when Thorin approached Lis and touched her shoulder gently they were all watching with intrigue at what was going to unfold.

Thorin raised his brow at Lis. "Are you ready little one?" He asked.

Lis frowned. "About what Sir?"

He came down to one knee and picked up a thick lock from the back of her nape. He looked at her amused and split it into three parts. "You'll see."

"What are you doing Sir?" little Lis tried to look down, but he nudged her head up again.

"Face straight!" he commanded and he began braiding her long hair.

Loa was looking at her daughter with eyes full of tears and Dwalin gave her a worried side look. "Are you going to collapse on me, my dear woman?"

Loa looked at him lost for a brief moment.

Dwalin smirked. "I need to know. I must be prepared to catch you in case you do..." He teased.

A ghostly smile broke on Loa's pale lips. "I think he's making her a warrior braid..."

Dwalin crossed his arms. "I think you maybe right."

She cupped her mouth. "My baby girl."

"Is not a baby anymore. We've been training hard and she is rather talented. I don't think her aspiration is to become a pretty little dwarrowdam, but rather a brave warrior." He said and offered her his elbow.

She engaged it gratefully. "I may not approve, but I won't stand in her way."

"Good." Dwalin's lips offered her a measured smile.

She gaze at him long and hard. "Don't push her too much, okay?"

He raised his brow. "Do you want her to be a warrior or not?"

Loa was unable to hide the uncertainty that dawned upon her features. "No...I don't, but it is what she wants." She muttered.

"Then allow me to do my job. I will come down on her like an oliphaunt stampede and she will learn how to take it on like a man." He told her with a half smile.

Loa leaned onto him and clasped his forearm. "Do you promise to take care of her?"

Dwalin's reserved smile grew wide. "Don't worry, I have her."

Loa closed her eyes and her face was filled with gratitude. "Thank you so much."

Dwalin's large hand covered hers gently and she reciprocated shyly.

"My pleasure." Dwalin held her gaze for what felt like forever before turning his attention to the middle of the room where the King had finished Lis' warrior braid and was placing one of his beads on it.

Lis looked shocked out of her mind. "A warrior braid for me?!"

He nodded and cleared some hair away from her cheek. "You saved me and my family... you deserve much more than a warrior braid."

Lis felt her cheeks catching on fire. "I do?"

Thorin stood up and gave a quiet nod to Balin who drew his sword and bowed before offering it to the King.

Thorin turned to Lis solemnly. "Kneel." He commanded.

Lis fell on both knees and Loa gripped Dwalin's forearm breathlessly. "Is he going to offer her a knighthood?"

Dwalin smiled knowingly. "Damehood."

Thorin tapped his sword to Lis' shoulders. First one, then the other. "Little lady, I am offering you the biggest honour I can give to someone not born into nobility. May you train hard and long in order to become the fierce warrior that I know you are hiding in your heart. May you be loyal and brave and may you be courageous beyond count when your help will be needed by my children. Stand up Lady Lis and lead the way for the rest of the dames of Erebor that may wish to have a carrier in our military in some form or another."

Loa buried her face on Dwalin's chest and he embraced her. "Now, now..." he whispered.

Lis stood up and her body was shaking from head to foot. She pressed her feast above her chest ardently. "Thank you Sir, you know I would die in order to protect you and your family!"

An exhalation of awe run through the cavern and Thorin's mouth gifted her with a beautiful smile that melted his wife's heart. "I know you will my Lady, that is why I will trust you with them when I feel it is time."

Lis lowered her head and tried hard to stop her tears from running. "I promise I will do the best I can to become the bravest warrior of your army!"

Thorin threw the sword back at Balin who caught it skilfully mid air.

"What I did with you has never happened before in Erebor young Lady. We've broken many set rules in order to make you a Lady and I know we won't regret it, because I have seen immense courage hiding behind that dainty exterior of yours. You will become the first female warrior of our kin Lady Lis, so I will demand from you to give this effort your everything. It is your steps that will inspire the future dames of Erebor to follow the same path. May this change that we have both created be for the best." He reached out and caressed her hair tenderly.

"It will be for the best! I will prove to all that women can fight equally bravely to men! You'll see!" She raised her eyes to him and looked at him longingly.

"I am sure they can. I know a woman whose brave fight has already saved my life more than a few times. Possibly literally." Thorin's lips curled up proudly and he looked back at his wife who wiped the tears that pooled in her eyes and gave him the most loving smile she could master.

Lis gripped his hand tightly. "My daddy died in your arms and you promised to him that you would protect us." She said with a diminished voice.

Thorin lost his smile upon those heavy words. "I hope I did right by him."

Lis' face was swimming in tears. "You did and now it is my turn to promise that I will protect your family with my life!"

Thorin leaned down and gave a tender kiss on her forehead. "Thank you my Lady. Now do you think we are even?"

She looked up to him and beamed. "No Sir! We won't be until I save your children!"

He chuckled. "Very well, allow time to unfold it's secrets to us and go to your poor mother who is ready to collapse."

Lis lifted up his hand to her mouth and kissed it, before bowing. Then she fell to the arms of her mother who began sobbing along with her daughter and neither was able to see the smiles of pride and admiration that had overtaken the whole cavern. Lis' words of loyalty and determination wouldn't be forgotten soon as they left a imprint that would change the course of history for many dwarrowdams in the years to come.

Thorin returned to his wife who was looking at him with unwavering devotion and he sat next to her. He reached out for her hand and their fingers stippled tightly as the dance floor slowly got crowded and music resonated around them. She wanted so much to please him, that she stood up with difficulty and asked him to dance with her. He pulled her down gently and drew her in his arms. His lips gifted her brow with a doting kiss and he cupped her cheek. "Allow everyone else to dance tonight for us and I promise that I will dance with you as many times as you like after the babies are born."

Eilin kissed the tips of his fingers that were grazing the softness of her cheek and felt more than thankful that her husband could understand her fatigue and didn't force her to act like a proper Queen by opening up the dance for the rest. She leaned her head on his shoulder and enjoyed thoroughly their friends and family dancing for them.

Fili opened up the dance with Valdis and surprisingly Dwalin took up the courage to ask Loa. That though was bound to fail as Lis got buried between them and demanded part of the action. Thorin's thumb caressed the back of Eilin's hand as he looked thoughtfully at his sister accepting Dongar's offer. When once upon a time he could have killed Dongar for daring to approach his mourning sister, now he felt peculiarly comforted by the knowledge that a loyal and worthy man loved his gerbil. He felt certain that neither the spirits of their parents, nor that of her brave husband would have denied Dis, Dongar's company.

As time rolled by with everyone having fun and getting rather drunk Thorin remained quietly thoughtful by her side until Eilin herself allowed Dis to pull her away in order to join some Ladies who had several baby clothes to gift her with. Only then did Thorin take the opportunity to leave the dining hall in order to calm down his thundering headache and find a moment of peace and quiet. His steps unsurprisingly led him to the throne room which was full of half melted candles and ribbons. He smiled knowing that the cleaning ladies would have a lot of trouble of making this place presentable again tomorrow. He stood silently in front of his throne for a few moments glaring coldly at the Arkenstone, but instead of returning to the dining halls he directed his steps atot the only place in Erebor he hadn't been since the battle of the five armies.

He went down endless staircases and twisting corridors until he was able to see the golden hue of the vast treasury caverns glimmering upon the black polished rock of the tall archways. He stopped at the balcony he used in order to observe his grandfather back in the days and a deep frown locked up his countenance. His eyes got lost in the endless rolling hills of gold under the tall columns. They went as far as the eye could see in every direction. He stood there deliberating silently over the biggest treasure of Middle Earth for a rather long time. When he took the first steps that would allow him to saunter amidst his gold, he didn't feel as calm as he had hoped to be. It was as if an old buried fear was trying to resurface despite his certainty that he had everything under control. He tried not to feel that he was closely resembling Thror when he strolled through his treasure with his hands clasped behind his back, talking to his gems, jewellery and golden coins.

Thorin inhaled sharply and removed his clasped hands away from his back and looked at his scarred palms with shiver of apprehension running down his spine. The few steps he took down there had already been done using the same mannerisms of Thror and that didn't make him feel at ease. He shook his head in denial as he fought to discard these consuming thoughts and straightened his body against their onslaught. He had already conquered every single obstacle up till then, he wasn't going to feel defeated now by this. His hands became tight fists and he began walking deliberately through the long corridors that were between his mountains of gold thinking how many lives this treasure had already claimed.

From the miners and the delvers that fell to their death in order to enrich it with a rare gem that was just out of their reach, to the armies that waged wars in order to claim it. From the fiery beasts that smelled it's gold from miles and tried to find ways to burrow in, to the dark entities who controlled them and needed to gain a foothold in his Mountain. This treasure had always been the driving force behind everything that ever happened in the Erebor all through the centuries. While Thorin's vision was to create a different rulership for the Mountain and change the set ideas of his kin as to what was truly important in life, he knew that part of Erebor's strength would always be the endless rivers of gold and precious gems that lay hidden in it's bowels.

It was up to him how he was going to use this power. Was he going to drain people in order to make it grow or was he going to invest part of it back to the people of Erebor and his alliances? His actions had already though answered that for him. The moment he returned to Dale it's rightful share of that treasure, the decision of how he was going to rule this immense wealth had been already taken. His life, but above all his death had taught him him that love, family, loyal friendships and true alliances were worth all the gold of Erebor and even more. His old convictions had already been shifted violently and nothing was able to turn that around for him now. Eilin's loving presence, his children, his family, his close friends and the love of his people wouldn't allow him to get sick with that nightmarish disease that undid his grandfather and unhinged his poor father till they both perished.

Thorin had been cursed in the past to walk through eternal damnation, but in he overcame all the difficulties. He managed to create his own footprint in this world and get rid the chain that his forefathers had placed at his wrists. Now he didn't work through the principles set by them, he created his own and that allowed him to feel a freedom that was difficult to describe with words.

He looked down at his polished boots quietly trying to appreciate the safety he felt in that precious knowledge, when Balin's voice made him look up.

"Hello laddie." He walked down the steps carrying the golden platter that held the shards of Narsil.

"Hello Balin." His deep voice echoed in the vast adjoining chambers.

"Didn't know you were down here. Am I interrupting?" Balin said and placed the plater upon a golden pedestal.

"Interrupting what...I am all alone." Thorin flicked his shoulder and looked at the broken sword.

Balin pursed his lips and gazed at his friend. "Just brought down your wife's heirloom. It's going to be safe her until you reforge it."

"Thank you." Thorin gave him a ghostly smile.

"Ceremony was magnificent." Balin trailed off.

"And finally over..." Thorin smirked.

Balin nodded knowingly. "Wedding was deeply emotional..."

Thorin looked at him sideways. "I thank the Gods that Eilin lasted through all this ordeal. It was a very close call."

Balin caressed his long beard thoughtfully. "Your wife looked tired, but enchantingly beautiful like always...considering her age."

Thorin raised his brows and glared at Balin silently.

Balin tilted his head and his voice gained a teasing tone. "You know, being a hundred and forty years old..."

Thorin's closed his eyes and cupped his face. "Oh, shut up..." The smile was visible behind his long fingers.

Balin scratched his nape and bobbed his head. "She fooled us well, didn't she? One would have never imagined her to be this old. She looks like such an unspoiled, pretty and fresh flower, you know."

Thorin chuckled and rubbed his eyes fiercely. "Don't rub it in."

Balin smirked. "You figured out the miscalculation?"

Thorin exhaled hard. "Have I not perchance? I am not well, am I?"

Balin shook his head and a faded look of worry shadowed his eyes. "No, you are not and this worries me. What is the matter Thorin? This is hardly you! You never make such serious mistakes."

It took several moments for Thorin to admit what has been bothering his mind all this time, making him unable to function properly. "I worry about Eilin constantly. I can barely concentrate on anything anymore. I am counting every moment towards her delivery backwards. Even when I sleep I am constantly plagued by nightmares." -He stopped and pursed his lips annoyed- "And I was so sure I had everything under control."

Balin sighed. "Her labour worries you?"

"Both the labour and how small the second baby feels. I cannot shake off a nasty feeling that something will go wrong." Thorin paled and his eyes fell on the Narsil again.

Balin crossed his arms. "Like?"

Thorin remained silent for a brief moment before deciding to share his greatest fear. The one that numbed down his mind and made him unable to function. "I fear that I will either lose my wife or one of my children during this labour." His voice sounded diminished.

Balin nodded in empathy. "I know...nothing can ever go well for you, right?"

Thorin turned to him sharply. His silence spoke volumes.

Balin continued unfazed of Thorin's apparent emotional turmoil. "Everything must turn out a nightmare...correct?"

Thorin remained quiet.

Balin closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "I thought you have left the past behind."

"I have..." Thorin hurried to say.

Balin shook his head. "Then why are you overtaken by all those fears?"

Thorin averted his eyes. "I don't know."

"Why do you believe you don't deserve the happiness that you have worked so hard for. Why do you think that something will turn all this into the nightmares you are so used to." Balin kept pushing.

Thorin cupped his forehead and closed his eyes. "I don't know..." he repeated.

Balin paused and cleared his throat. "Well, I think that everything will turn out fine. Both with Eilin and your children, alright?"

Thorin swallowed heavily and looked at his boots. "Alright." He said, but it was half hearted.

Balin pursed his lips. "Let's get our attention away from your biggest fear and turn it to your latest failure, shall we?"

Thorin gazed at him sideways with a faded smile.

Balin nodded and waved him off. "You messed up and I didn't correct you. Who is the biggest failure between us?"

"Trying to make me feel better?" Thorin raised his brow.

Balin nodded with a smile. "Yeah, kind off."

Thorin caressed the scars on his palms. "I don't remember much from those moments Balin. It is as if my memories are covered with thick semi transparent curtain. I can see the outlines, but not the details. I know several people that were there with me, but I cannot recall the faces well. Lord Óthin wasn't even there with my grandfather, was he?"

Balin's lips turned down. "You are not that messed up yet laddie. Lord Óthin was there. I saw him too."

"How could he have died then?" Thorin looked at Balin confused.

Balin's heart skirted as he witnessed a King that was always in absolute control of everything that concerned his kingdom and his subjects, looking absolutely bewildered. "I spoke with Bjarki who was there with me and Dwalin. Lord Óthin took the hit you remember from the pale Orc, but it wasn't his mangled body you brought in for burial."

Thorin's lips turned down in disappointment. "I carried so many. They were all covered in blood. I had lost Frerin and Thror..." His voice blew out like a candle.

Balin gripped his shoulder tightly. "You have always been too hard on yourself and at times too demanding. You may be wise, immensely clever and brave beyond count, but Thorin you are just a man at the end of the day and not immune to errors. Those moments were a pure nightmare for you. How can you remember with any detail who you carried back and who died? Nobody can blame you."

Thorin gave him a grateful side smile. "Óthin survived then?"

Balin nodded thoughtfully. "He had very serious wounds, but he lived."

All the blood drained from Thorin's features. "I don't remember seeing him after the battle in the Blue Mountains..."

Balin waved him off. "Don't go into another guilt trip about that now okay? Why should you remember every Lord and Lady that passes through your halls."

Thorin pressed his lips. "Still..."

Balin's hand squeezed his shoulder. "Bjarki said that when Lord Óthin recovered he left the Blue Mountains for lands unknown."

Thorin covered his face and exhaled. "Perfect..."

Balin tilted his head slightly. "We don't even know if he is alive after so many years, but he never made an official appearance in any major Dwarven city after the Battle of Moria."

Thorin removed his hand and looked annoyed at the Narsil. "I wished to find answers for her and all I got are more questions... and a bloody punch at my ego."

Balin snorted. "Mine too...I failed too remember?"

Thorin smiled and got ready to answer when her melodic voice addressed him from the landing. "My love?"

He turned and looked at her and it was as if a wisp of fresh air blew upon his irritated heart. It was amazing how her face was able to offer him instant relief from every dark thought. He was sure she held some kind of magic over him. Magic even stronger than the one Gandalf used in order to bring him back from the dead. Wasn't her magic perchance able to rebirth him? He smiled brightly at her. "I wish you'd sing for me more often. I miss your voice..." He said quietly.

Balin removed his hand and straightened his vest. "I should go."

Eilin raised her hand. "Please Lord Balin, don't. I can come back later. You seemed to be having a rather serious conversation."

Balin came up the steps quickly. "Nothing serious I assure you. We were just counting our failures..."

Thorin humphed and crossed his arms.

"Take care to rest well, both of you." Balin said and gifted Eilin with a warm smile that she reciprocated.

"Thank you."

"Goodnight." The old advisor said and he walked away.

As the heavy steps of his boots faded away at the corridors above she looked at her husband. "I'll sing for you anytime you wish my heart, but the pain and the discomfort make it hard for me to even breathe, much less sing."

"You will sing to our children when they are born. That's more than enough for me." He rejoined with a sweet smile.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" she raised her brow at him.

He tilted his head. "Myriads of times..."

"Have I ever told you that I'd deeply appreciate your help in order to get down these monstrous looking steps?" she looked at them with dread.

He chuckled and ran to her assistance. When he reached her instead of offering his hand he picked her up in his arms and walked down the steps. "I cannot get over how easy you make this look." She teased him.

He put her down gently. "What do you mean?"

"You are carrying me and the babies with such ease and I can barely walk." She cringed regretfully.

His arm wrapped around her waist and he secured her body against his. "It's my honour to carry the weight of our family and I hope Mahal shall bless me to do so for many years to come, until our children are strong enough to come to their own." He said quietly.

She nestled in his arms with a content smile. "I love you so much my heart."

He caressed the side of her head delicately. "I love you too. How do you feel?"

"Tired, but so so happy! You?" She huddle up to him.

"I expected to feel somewhat different after being married." He scrounged his lips thoughtfully.

Her frown was troubled and she was unable to hide that from him. "Like...?"

He smirked and his forefinger traced her cheekbone, down to her jawline gingerly. "Kind of manacled I suppose..."

Eilin gripped his lapels and twisted them between her fingers. "Careful..." She warned him.

He chuckled and leaned down to supply her mouth with dozens of soft adoring pecks, that made her exhale in relief. "But I didn't. You see I was meant to be your husband from the first moment that I was born..." He whispered.

Her lips curled up under his and her fingers coasted up to the scar on his forehead. "You saved it by a hair's inch." She murmured, feeling enchanted once more by his words.

"Good..." he came down and captured her lips softly with his.

She closed her eyes and her warm breath caressed the side of his face. "Can I admit something now that we are alone?"

He nodded and kissed her gingerly.

"I am truly surprised I didn't collapse today in the throne room." She said in a hushed tone.

He pulled back and engaged her loving eyes. "I am sorry you had to go through all this..." He sounded regretful.

She quickly spoke over him. "Nevertheless I wouldn't have changed this for the world. The sight of you wearing the Raven Crown, seated under the King's Gem filled my heart with bliss. Today I experienced the rise of a powerful alliance under a mighty King who is well-matched to his legendary forefathers, if not their better and that King just also happens to be my husband and the father of my children. The pride I felt just being next to you is immeasurable. The shivers of awe that shook my soul when you walked in the throne room were enough to eliminate any discomfort I may have felt at that moment and I still feel those aftershocks, even now."

His eyes were burning from her words and his heart was racing. He came down to offer her a gentle kiss of affection which she reciprocated, before pulling her tightly in his arms. "You may not believe it, but all my attention was on you from the moment I came into the throne room to the moment I left the dining halls tonight to come here." -He humphed- "And even in here, my mind was troubled only by you...for you."

She sighed. "As was my mind only upon you every single moment."

He exhaled hard and closed his eyes as his large palm cupped her cheek and drew her head to his chest. He turned around and placed a soft kiss on top of her curls. "When I saw you standing next to the throne, all dressed in this beautiful wedding gown, with those diamonds sparkling upon your head I couldn't help but wonder how your beauty could overshadow even the most precious stones of my kingdom. I am the luckiest man in the world to be able to embrace and adore the most beautiful gem of Middle Earth. I love you beyond count..."

Her arms squeezed him and tears stained her cheeks. "I love you too Thorin...more than life."

A small silence ensued were they enjoyed each other's presence, but finally it was him who broke it. His hand clasped hers and brought it up. He caressed her golden ring with his thumb. "So now that you are wearing it, does it feel any different for you?"

She shivered. "No my heart..."

He looked at her thoughtfully for a few moments. "You know we could have avoided all this completely, right? We could have stayed in bed cuddling and exchanging our vows all alone."

She drew back in order to see him better. "I wanted to experience this so much Thorin...I wouldn't have changed this day for the whole world." She pulled herself up in order to gift his soft lips with a fierce kiss, which he reciprocated with the same fervour, up until she released a moan of pain in his mouth, instead of one caused by pleasure.

"Pain again?" he looked down at her with a troubled frown.

She nodded and cuddle in his arms. "Yes...my back...there..." She pointed.

Then she closed her eyes as his fingers found easily the bruised nerve and started warming it up with a steady circular motion. Thorin pursed his lips feeling rather concerned about her deteriorating state, but also annoyed that he didn't postpone the coronation for after delivery. "Eilin I truly wish I could have married you in the confines of our bedroom. I would have avoided seeing you this spent. You may still be a hypnotising vision of beauty and grace that steals my breath away, but I'd rather have you lying down and snoring with your mouth half open only dressed in a plain tunic at this moment."

She cringed. "I know you do my love and I cannot wait to snore away all the fatigue I feel inside right now, but don't ruin this day for me, alright?"

He pressed his lips and nodded. "Alright my love."

She closed her eyes and kissed his neck gently. "Why did you leave the dining hall? I got worried."

"You were so happy to see all these baby gifts and share your happiness with the ladies and I needed to get away from the demanding environment for a few moments. Strange as it might sound I get rather overwhelmed at times. I am truly a very private man. Who told you I was down here?" He gazed thoughtfully at her.

"All the guards I asked." She smiled.

He tilted his head and chuckled "Forgot about them."

"So why did you come here?" she drew back in order to admire for the first time the exhilarating, almost heart-stopping vastitude of this treasure.

He looked around him much less affected. "I haven't visited this place since the Battle of the Five Armies. Last time I stood here I was overtaken by the gold sickness and I was half out of my mind. The only clear memory I have from this treasury was the day Smaug attacked. The same day that I threw the Arkenstone away after a rather vicious showdown with my grandfather up there at that railing you were holding onto before."

She frowned and tried to find his seductive azure eyes. "You had a showdown with King Thror? I'd like to hear about that one someday."

His lips twisted. "A story to be told at another time my beloved."

She exhaled and nodded in understanding. "As you wish my love." -Then her eyes turned to the golden pedestal that held the shards of Narsil. She disengaged his elbow and approached- "So what is this broken sword for? I saw King Thranduil offering it as a gift to you, but I couldn't hear what you said to each other. It seemed rather strange that he'd offer you something broken." She extended her hand to touch it's hilt. It was as if an unseen force was drawing her near it, yet she stopped at the last moment and pulled her hand back.

He came and stood right next to her. His body, tall and imposing was supporting her even without having any physical contact. "This is an old heirloom of our family. I asked it from the Elven King and he was kind enough to deliver."

"An heirloom?" She looked at him tensely.

He gave her a quiet nod.

"Whose was it?" she licked her lips trying to deny herself the need to touch it again.

Thorin read that need in her beautiful green eyes. He reached down and led her hand up until her fingers grazed the hilt of the sword. She pulled her hand away abruptly and frowned. Her eyes turned demanding on Thorin.

"It belongs to one of the forefathers of our family. One I didn't know about until recently." He replied vaguely.

She hesitated momentarily. "I thought you knew everything about the legacy of your family."

He raised his brow. "This part of our family is a recent addition...very very recent."

She pressed her lips and glared at the sword. "Why is the sword broken?"

"It got destroyed in battle by a rather dark enemy."

She reached out to touch the blade gently again.

"Careful you don't cut yourself. It's still sharp." He noted.

She smiled back at him lovingly. "Who is going to reforge it? This looks like it had once been a powerful sword..."

"It is of great craftsmanship. I will try to reforge it myself." He frowned down at it as he felt the immensity of this task a little too heavy for his shoulders. Trying to emulate the impeccable job of one of the best sword smiths of Middle Earth was a rather daunting task no doubt.

She beamed up to him. "From the few times I have seen you working this trade, I'd say this sword is lucky. Are you going to wield it yourself?"

His brows clouded. "No, it might belong to our family, but it is not mine to wield. If you birth a son, I will pass it down to him and he shall give it to its rightful owner when the times comes."

A shudder of awe ran up her spine. "I'd like to learn about this forefather of yours. This recent addition to your family."

He reached out and caressed her hair tenderly. "I keep saying -our family- you keep saying -your family-" He noted gently.

Eilin closed her eyes. "You are right." She gave him a loving smile that made his heart skirt.

"It's not yet time for you to learn yet."

She clutched the golden lapels of his vest and pulled him closer. "Why are you so secretive about all this?"

He wrapped his arms around her and touched his forehead to hers affectionately. "Because you haven't asked me the right question yet, my love."

Her lips parted, but he didn't allow her the time to speak. He leaned down and lingered for a few breathless moments over her mouth, before engaging it with a delicately sensual kiss that made her heart sing to his tune. When he pulled back she was looking at him dazed. "How will I know which question it is I must ask in order to get an answer then?" She felt confused, but also loved beyond measure.

"Your heart will let you know when it is time. The question will come to you when when your soul is ready for answers. When you ask I hope I can have all the answers for you, but until then let us forget all about these shards...alright?" he whispered upon her lips.

She snorted happily. "I am going to pretend now that I am immensely wise and that I understood everything you said, okay?"

His forefinger and thumb captured her chin between them and he pulled her head up. He smiled at her. "And I will pretend like I don't know that you didn't understand."

She giggled and cuddled in his arms as he enfolded her close to his heart. "I love you." She whispered.

"And I love you and all your silliness sometimes." He closed his eyes and rested his cheek on her head. They remained embraced for a long time not caring about the colossal treasure around them, for they had the only treasure they ever wished for held tight in each other's arms.

* * *

It was three days after Thorin's coronation, that found the royal couple sprawled in bed. They had gone through a rather difficult day were Eilin couldn't find a single painless position for her bloated body without cursing under her breath. Her groans and moans of pain, her perfect pink lips spewing the most dreadful curses towards the furniture that felt so uncomfortable, her constant need to pee and her inability to sleep more than an hour without waking up bothered and aching all over, were few of the new constants of Thorin's life lately. That night found Eilin tucked between her usual pillows snoring away her fatigue and poor Thorin taking up a small part of their bed at one side, trying not to bother her by his immense frame. Tonight his body had ended up painfully twisted away from Eilin's pillow mountain, nevertheless he was sleeping rather heavily so when Eilin grasped his shoulder and began shaking him hard, he was unable to wake up easily.

"Thorin! Thorin...!" She whispered and shook him.

No response.

"Oh, come on wake up for heaven's sake!" Upon seeing no response from her snoring husband, she pushed the pillows away and looked at the mess she had created on the mattress. "Oh...shit...oh ...fucking shit...trouble...we got trouble! Thorin wake up!" she began shaking him more violently.

He groaned and tried to push her "Go away." Her insomnia had been affecting him more than expected. He was obliged to work throughout the day, so when he returned to their rooms he also had to take care of Eilin's needs. That ended up with him sleeping less and less as Eilin's pregnancy progressed. At that moment he really didn't want to be awoken by anyone and Eilin felt a small trace of regret before grabbing his shoulder tightly again with renewed determination.

"Thorin for the name of love, wake up!" she hollered.

"Not now...give me a moment..." he whispered and settled down again.

She fumed and clawed his shoulder, feeling both remorse and irritation at the same time. "Thorin wake the hell up!" She slapped the middle of his back so hard that her palm echoed with burning pain.

His eyes cracked open and he looked at her above his shoulder with a deep frown. He barely seemed affected by the thwart that numbed Eilin's hand down, but at least he was awake now. "You want me to take you to the toilet?" He asked with a sleepy voice. He was so used to waking up in the middle of the night in order to assist her to the bathroom that for him that was the most obvious reason for being awoken this brutally at such an ungodly hour.

She raised her brow and looked between her open thighs. "What toilet? Apparently I had my toilet right here on our bed!"

He yawned. "What?"

"Feel this!" She took his hand and led it down at the soaked sheets under her.

He winced irritated. "Don't worry, I will change them. Let me help you up." He turned around and made an attempt to get up, but her hand grasped his forearm firmly.

"This is not pee!" She pulled him in order to look at his bloodshot eyes.

He frowned at her, honestly confused. "What is it then?"

She felt another contraction coming and squeezed her eyes tight. She breathed deeply through her nose, exhaled through her mouth and counted as she tried to follow Loa's instructions on how to ride out the pain. Her fingers twisted hard on his skin and he winced feeling the first traces of apprehension rolling down his spine. "What is going on Eilin? Are you in pain?"

She nodded and grabbed her belly. When she felt safe to speak again without groaning in pain she opened her eyes. "I think the babies are coming." she said as gently as possible. She didn't want to freak him out, but she failed royally.

"What!?" He cried and his eyes flew open.

"The babies are coming. You have to wake up Loa and your sister, alright my heart?" She forced herself to smile.

He jumped out of bed shocked out of his senses and began running in the room like a chicken with it's head cut off. He didn't know where to go first, the cupboard, Eilin or the door. Suddenly he stopped and gave her a look of utter terror. "What are we going to do?!" He cried.

"We are going to give birth to our babies as they seem to want to get out fast! Just go get Loa and your sister please!" She said with a partly amused smile at his obvious panic. Seeing this mighty warrior King who had partaken in hundreds of bloody wars, panicking over her labour like a dwarfling made her smile blossom into an honest laugh, that ended up into a sob of pain.

His eyes looked at her in perturbation. "Are you laughing or crying right now?!" He asked totally bewildered.

She snorted and pointed at the door. "Both, now go!"

He nodded with a lost look in his eyes. "Right! On it immediately!" He rejoined and bolted to the door.

Eilin's eyes popped open and she hollered at him. "Not naked Thorin! You are naked!"

He stopped with his hand on the handle and looked down at himself for a brief shocked moment. Then he went to the armchair and took his clothes which he wore messily. "I need to get dressed..." he mumbled as he threw his tunic over his body, not even noticing that it's hem was barely covering up his open trousers.

"Calm down...!" Eilin cried to him, but he didn't listen to her.

He turned the handle and threw himself out to the royal corridor half dressed and half out of his mind. Eilin leaned back to bed and tried to regulate her breathing when she felt another contraction coming, but this one echoed as an excruciating pain at her lower back that made her twist painfully in bed. Her moan echoed into the corridor that Thorin was running and made him lose every single thread of self control he may have had up till then, which roughly equalled to nil.

He kicked Balin's door and afterwards Dwalin's and then threw the door of Dis open without even bothering to knock on it. He wanted to wake up as many people as possible. Handling the delivery of his children alone was truly overwhelming to him and he was not embarrassed to admit that he needed all the support he could get at that moment. He heard Balin's door opening, just as he was entering Dis' rooms.

"What is wrong laddie? What are you doing up so early?" His old advisor asked still half asleep.

Thorin turned around and hollered. "Wake up Dwalin!"

Balin frowned and tied the belt of his housecoat. "Why? Is Erebor on fire?" He raised his brow in need to tease Thorin with that usual comeback, without understanding how inappropriate it was at that moment.

"Eilin is in labour!" Thorin cried loud enough to wake up Dis.

"What?" the question was asked by both Balin and his sister. One was sleepy, the other one borderline terrified.

Thorin facepalmed so hard that he felt his forehead in actual pain. "Eilin-is-in-labour!" He spat each word out, both at Dis and Balin and kicked the panel of the door feeling infuriated by his inability to wake up everyone as quickly as he wanted.

Balin closed his door and rushed to Dwalin's room. "I'll wake him up laddie, we are with you, don't worry!" He said, suddenly overtaken by the same panicked urgency that was overflowing from Thorin's every single cell.

Dis sat up in bed with her hair all messy and her eyes half open. "What did you just say?" she whispered.

He marched to her bed holding his trousers up with one hand and threw her curtains open. The sky outside was grey and there was a strong rainfall rejuvenating the earth, but it was still very dark. "Get up, Eilin needs you. She's in pain, the bed is flooded. The babies are coming!" -He spat and opened up her cupboard. He took out random pieces of clothing that made no sense and threw them at her- "Get dressed!"

"Flooded? What do you mean flooded?" Dis frowned.

He came around and pulled the quilt away from her body. She shrieked and tried to cover her legs, but he grabbed her arm and drew her out of bed unbothered. "You are supposed to be the midwife here, you tell me what's going on! Eilin is in pain and the bed is wet...very very wet!" he snapped in fury.

Dis' pushed him away in order to get dressed. "Did her waters break?"

"It certainly looked like they did...!" he rebuked angrily.

"Go, leave! Find Loa and I am going to take care of Eilin. Just go!" She pushed him out the door and Thorin found himself tying his trousers as he ran, uncaring of the royal guards that opened up for him with a look of shock at their bewildered faces. He didn't know whom he came across during his unhinged run down to the first level residential area where he had relocated Loa and her daughter, but he knew there were thankfully few people awake, as it was still the dead of night.

When he got there, he realised that he didn't have a clue where Loa's home was. He looked at the long corridors and winding staircases like a bloody idiot. After a few moments where he wanted to appear like he knew what he was doing, he finally admitted defeat. It was completely useless for him to stand in the middle of one of the residential areas with his hair a wild mess around him and his tunic open down to his stomach, looking dangerously deranged. He was not helping his wife like this. He needed to do something, and going back up to bring Dis down would only be a waste of time. He glared angrily at a door that was closest to him for a few moments. Then he marched up to it and knocked. While he waited, half expecting no one to answer, he tried to settle down his long hair and straighten up his tunic so that he wouldn't scare the poor people that would open the door to come face to face with a crazy, half naked and possibly dangerous giant.

Just as he was about to go to the next house in order to try his luck, the door opened up with a loud creak. A kind young woman appeared behind it and when she saw Thorin she instantly brought her hand up to to cover her bosom. "Your Royal Highness" she stammered and averted her eyes to the floor respectfully.

He looked at her shocked that she had recognised him.

She bowed deeply. "What can I do for you at this hour your majesty?"

He got ready to answer, when a much older voice that sounded rather annoyed called from the interior. "Who the hell are you talking to at this hour Vígdís?"

The girl looked above her shoulder. "Keep your voice down mother for heaven's sake, you are making a fool out of me!"

"Whom am I making you a fool to? Who the hell knocked on our door at this hour and why in the name of Mahal do you look so bashful? Is it that young man Burin again? I'll show him, coming to our house at this hour! He overdid it this time! Stand aside youngling!"

The young girl tried to stop her mother and Thorin tried to stop them both, but neither was quick enough. The feisty mother who was the spitting image of her young daughter came to the door and got ready to tell their visitor off, but instead her mouth dropped open and she became pale as a ghost.

Vígdís sighed and rolled her eyes. "I tried to tell you..."

Her mother cupped her mouth and stammered. "What the hell, am I dreaming?"

Thorin shook his head and flailed his arms around. "Enough!"

The women grasped each other's hands and froze in place, trembling.

"Where is Loa's abode!?" he grumbled angrily towards the mother.

She kneeled down and shook her head. "She's...it's...down...she's ...I..." She was unable to utter a single word as she was shocked out of her senses at seeing the King of the North at her doorstep...looking so...so...so...dishevelled. Why did he look like he just had a fight with a wild cat, anyway?

Vígdís took over quickly. "Third door on the right, at the fifth corridor to the left." She pointed.

"The what?" Thorin looked around him totally lost.

"Come I'll show you!" -The girl said and turned to her mother- "Get into the house and I'll be home soon!"

Her mother's head was nodding stupidly still trying to get a glimpse of their legendary King as her daughter led him quickly down the corridor towards Loa's apartments. When they reached them, she was the one who knocked loudly at the door. Thorin was standing behind her muttering under his breath and clutching his temples. The thoughts that were overflowing him were almost ready to spin him into panic. He thought how big one of the babies was and all that talk with his sister about back pain. He remembered his mother telling him that women could die during childbirth and he cursed himself for endangering Eilin in this manner. He was hardly processing things logically at that moment. He was unable to think that this had been the joined decision of two people who loved each other and wished to create life, he could only think of Eilin suffering and that was enough to drive him mad.

The girl knocked on the door again seeing the urgent state of the King and got ready to reassure him that everything was going to be okay, even though she had no idea what was going on. That is when the door opened up slowly and a sleepy Loa made her appearance behind it. "What is it?" she whispered not wanting to wake up Lis. She didn't notice Thorin at first only the girl in front of it.

"The King wants to see you." Vígdís said and pulled aside.

Thorin came down on Loa like a hurricane. He pushed the door open and grabbed her forearm. "Dress up, Eilin's in pain, the babies are coming!"

Loa blinked lost for a few moments. "What?"

"I don't ever want to hear that bloody word again tonight! I swear it's going to drive me insane! Now dress up!" he commanded and Loa jerked back in fear.

"Give her a moment my Lord." Vígdís said as calmly as possible.

Thorin glared at her angrily and then at Loa.

The maiden shook her head and closed her eyes. "Give me a moment my Lord and I will be right with you!" -She murmured and then turned at Vígdís, hesitating momentarily- "Can you please stay with Lis? She will be shocked if she wakes up and doesn't see me here."

Vígdís beamed. "Sure!" She wanted to clap her hands the moment she realised the reason for the King's distress, but she refrained from doing so because he looked ready to explode in the slightest of causes. The heirs to Erebor's throne were about to be born! A yearn to tell everyone overtook her, but she told herself to shut up and be quiet until the King left. Afterwards she intended to knock on every door and wake up everyone so they could keep a silent vigil until the new line of Durin was delivered. As the young girl Vígdís made plans who to wake up first and Loa was getting dressed quickly Thorin was pacing nervously, barely keeping himself from tearing out his beard and his hair. Vígdís would have tried to reassure him that everything was going to turn out fine, if he didn't look ready to bite off the first hand that would dare touch him.

When the door opened up and Loa came out, Thorin's large fingers wrapped around her upper arm and he virtually dragged her across all the single hallways, bridges and staircases, not caring that her shorter legs couldn't keep up with his long military strides easily. Loa tried to tell him, but he didn't listen. Whenever she fell he pulled her back up and pursued his previous wild pace, or walked even faster if possible.

When they appeared under the archway of the royal corridors, Balin, Dwalin, Oin and Ori were already awake, wearing only their undergarments and waiting impatiently for some news. Thorin charged down the brightly lit corridor and everybody pulled away from him respectfully, not even daring to address him. He looked like a wild animal as he threw the doors of the royal chambers open and pushed Loa inside.

It was amazing how the dynamics shifted quickly the moment they entered. Thorin's assertive onslaught broke hard and he froze in place with his heart almost paralysed as his gaze fell to his wife who was writhing in pain at their bed. His stomach dropped and all the colour fled from his face. On the other hand Loa frowned in determination and rushed to Dis' side, taking over the procedure quickly. Thorin's eyes fell to Eilin's uncovered bump that was glistening with sweat and undulating with her sharp breaths. She was leaning on her elbows, cringing painfully and spitting words he couldn't make out between her teeth. Her small hands had squeezed into formidable fists that were pulling the sheets away from the mattress in their need to hold onto something.

"She has not effaced yet. She has a small dilation and she hasn't lost all her waters. She needs to get up and walk." Loa said calmly.

Dis nodded and rounded the bed in order to help her sister-in-law out of bed. "Come on, you have to get up."

"Forget it!" Eilin spat.

"Come on love, you need to walk around a little bit in order to help the babies come out." Dis said patiently.

"No, forget it! I am in excruciating pain! I could barely walk before labour and you expect me to stroll around right now?!" Eilin snapped, unable to hold back her reactions as the pain she felt on her back was making lose every sense of logic. All she wanted to do now was stop the pain, not walk.

Dis pressed her lips. "Your back is killing you because you are lying on it and the babies are pressing on your lower spine. If you try to stand up with our help, you will feel better trust me, please."

Eilin looked at her sharply and that is when her eyes finally saw her flabbergasted husband. Her face mellowed up instantly and she reached out for him. "Thorin!"

He pushed his sister aside so hard that Dis almost toppled over and came over to her. "I am here..." he said with a frown.

Eilin clutched onto his shoulders like a barnacle and pressed her burning cheek at his neck. "The pain Thorin..."

Dis shook her head. "Can you convince her to stand up? Lying down like that is not going to help her deliver."

Thorin cupped Eilin's cheek lovingly and felt his throat drying out. He had never experienced something so awe inspiring and terror inducing before, not even in the heat of the most dangerous battle. He didn't want to see Eilin suffer in this manner, but was there a way to deliver a child painlessly? His jawline flexed and he tried to keep himself from falling apart when Eilin needed him most. "Can you try to walk baby?"

Eilin's eyes were glistening with feral savagery until they engaged his azure gaze. She pressed her pale lips tightly. "I can try..." -then she huffed and her nails dug into his biceps- "If you call me baby again."

A ghostly smile appeared on his lips. "Come on then..."

She nodded and grabbed onto him fiercely when one of her contractions ended up with a pair of cold hands grabbing her lower spine and pulling it mercilessly out of its roots. "Oh..." she groaned.

"Get her up!" Dis commanded.

Thorin looked at his sister with eyes that spewed fire and pulled Eilin slowly up. "Come on my baby...slowly. I am here." He cooed her as she placed one foot on the floor and then the other. The moment he managed to drag her up, she moaned hard and grabbed him for support as her knees were unable to hold her up.

"I am going to fall..." Eilin tried to regulate her breaths and her cheeks filled up with tears.

"I'm never going to let you fall, I am here. Hold onto me..." -he said and felt his voice breaking. Then his eyes looked anxiously at Dis- "Is this normal?"

"Yes, what did you think labour is? A bloody walk in the bloody park?" Dis frowned at him.

"This much pain?" he groaned instinctively when Eilin groaned and clutched onto him in anguish.

"This is just the tip of the iceberg wolf, now walk her around, gently like this...yes..." Dis instructed him around the large chamber.

"Maybe if I had delayed the coronation she would have been better..." Thorin rejoined feeling stunned.

Dis frowned. "What do you mean she would have been better? She's not bloody ill, she's giving birth. Do you think delaying the coronation would have also delayed the delivery? She's ready to pop, those babies need to come out now."

Thorin glowered at his sister, but bit his tongue in order to hold himself from making a rude comeback.

Eilin's nails pierced the skin on his shoulder and he hissed. "I didn't want to deliver our babies out of marriage...No!" -she grumbled and then she pressed her open mouth on his exposed skin and her deep painful moan sipped through his chest and straight in his heart in the form of a dagger- "Hold me!" She grumbled.

"I am not letting you go my heart, just another step..." he urged her and then looked at his sister terrified, forgetting how angry he had been with her a few moments ago.

Dis nodded at him to continue and then went to assist Loa and the girls who were preparing a clean bed, towels, warm water and the pillows for Eilin.

He didn't know how long he was walking her around talking nonsense into her ear, but it was long after the break of dawn that Eilin raised her sweaty face at him and shook her head. "No more, I cannot walk anymore Thorin, enough..." She begged.

"A few more steps back to the bed, okay?" He cooed her.

"No..." she sobbed and her tears stained his tunic and his soul.

He steadied her on his body and leaned down to her ear. "I can bet you my life both babies are going to look like me."

She humphed as he made her take another step. "Your certainty is killing me."

"My blood is too strong to overlook. They are both going to be black haired and blue eyed, mark my words!" He pulled her closer to the bed.

She stopped and heaved on his chest from exhaustion. "If our babies are born with your colours, I will feel blessed."

Her words took him by surprise. "I was only teasing you..."

"I am not teasing you though...you are gorgeous..." she pressed his forearm and squeezed her eyes tight as he forced her to take two more steps.

He reached the bed and pulled her on his body securely. "And you are absolutely mesmerising even though you are full of sweat, totally bloated and in dire need of a bath!"

Eilin chuckled and gripped his biceps tightly as she tried to ride out another excruciating contraction. "I know you love me and you are trying to make me forget, but it's impossible...the pain is getting worse."

Thorin paled and searched his sister's eyes. "Dis?" he hissed.

Dis signalled to the bed. "Bring her over, Loa needs to check on her."

He led Eilin slowly back to the bed. "What if she takes three days to bring the children out, like mother?"

Dis frowned. "She has let out most of her waters, she won't take three days. She's going to give birth today."

"Will the babies last without my waters?" Eilin's already broken countenance got enriched with a fresh wave of fear.

"They still have more than enough fluids to swim in my darling." -She told Eilin with a reassuring tone. Then she glared at her brother. "Lay her down gently...gently Thorin!"

"I am being gentle!" he rebuked.

"Calm down, you are not helping her!" his sister continued with austerity.

"You are the one who is making me nervous! What have I been doing all this time then, haven't I been helping her?!" He snapped.

Eilin gripped his forearm tightly. "Don't fight over me! Not now!" she hollered.

Dis pressed her lips. "She's right, now out!"

"What?" Thorin frowned.

Dis locked elbows with him and led him to the door steadily. "I said out. You did everything you could, now allow us women to handle this."

Thorin looked at Eilin above his shoulder. She laid her head back as the girls fixed her pillows and Loa lifted up her nightgown. "She asked me to stay." He said feeling already the great loser in a battle he had no idea how to fight.

Dis completely ignored him and opened the door. "You did enough. Now trust me with her, as I have trusted you with my children. Alright?"

Thorin grabbed the door frame not willing to go out. "Wait..."

"She's dilating more!" Loa cried.

Dis nodded. "I am coming" -then she turned to the livid face of her brother. "Allow me to do my job wolf. Eilin is already dilated, that means the babies are coming soon. She won't take three days like mom, stop worrying. Now go out with your friends and try to calm down. I will call you in the moment the babies are born. Okay?"

Thorin shook his head and looked back at Eilin whose beautiful face was twisted in a painful grimace. One of the girls placed a cool cloth on her forehead and wiped away her sweat gently. "No Dis, wait..." He tried.

"I said out!" Dis' pushed him and before he had the chance to do anything she crashed the door at his face. He remained looking at the wooden panel like a buffoon. It was Balin's voice that made him look away.

"How is she laddie?"

"They say she's dilated. Have no idea what that means..." he admitted.

Oin crossed his arms. "Means she is opening up so they babies can come out. That can become rather painful."

Thorin shuddered...hard. Dwalin grabbed him by the bicep and pulled him away from the door. "Come on, give her time. Let us walk a little." He engaged Thorin's elbow and started walking with him.

Thorin stopped and pulled his arm free. "Why are you walking me for?! I am not in labour, she is!" He cried and pointed at the door.

Dwalin exhaled through his nose. "You need to calm down."

"And allow them to do their job." Balin added and looked at Ori who rushed into Balin's room in order to get the bottles of mead.

"Did my sister just throw me out!?" Thorin remembered and looked at his doors in fury.

Dwalin engaged his elbow again and pulled him away from the doors. "Dis did what she had to do. It was always so in our culture. We plant our seeds in the wombs of our women, we fight for them, we protect them, we offer them shelter and love, but when the time comes for delivery we allow them to take over and wait...patiently...without bringing the house down in the process. Right?"

Thorin's eyes thinned on Dwalin, but he remained silent.

Ori came quickly and gave the bottle to Balin who unscrewed it and approached Thorin. "Part of our culture is also to keep you company until Eilin delivers, so don't expect us to leave anytime soon. We will all wait out here with you."

Thorin released his arm from Dwalin's grip again and humphed annoyed. He crossed his arms and leaned back against a wall feeling totally bewildered. Balin gave Dwalin a guarded look and passed him the bottle. Dwalin came over and leaned next to Thorin. He then raised the bottle and drank some, making sure he exhaled in pleasure loud enough to be heard by his highly irritated friend.

The King looked at him and then at the bottle.

"Want some? ..." Dwalin offered carelessly.

Thorin grabbed the bottle, looked at it for several moments and with Eilin's sweaty and pained countenance in mind, he emptied the whole of it in one go. Then he gave the bottle back to Dwalin. "I should stay out?" he muttered.

Dwalin got ready to answer, but his brother was faster. "Stay out laddie." He said calmly.

Thorin huffed and began pacing up and down the corridor, not feeling this mead touching him in the slightest. Actually he doubted that any quantity of alcohol would be able to touch him at that moment as he passed the closed doors of his chambers again and again. Each time he went by, he offered them a wrathful look of hatred and stopped himself at the last moment from bringing them down in order to be next to his wife at this unique moment in his life and probably the most painful in hers. Still each time he gave those doors a silent warning and moved past them, trying to decide if he wanted to respect his sister's advice, or fulfil his wife's request. He didn't have enough knowledge to judge if Dis was right or not. His friends insisted that he should stay out also. He felt uncertain. He didn't know if being next to her would help or hinder Eilin's tries to deliver his children.

So he left the doors untouched and paced up and down, not listening to the light conversation his friends were trying to make with him and stretching out his ears to overhear what was going inside the royal bedroom, but failing to hear anything more than muffled conversation and the occasional painful groan from his wife that send chills down his spine.


	70. An ancient and a fairy

Thorin completely lost the track of time out there in the corridor with no windows to see the sky and the cries of his wife becoming stronger with each passing moment. He didn't know who was sweating more. Eilin in there suffering to get his children to see the daylight, or him out here trying hard not to react towards her screams of anguish. He was still with the clothes he put on quickly when Eilin's waters broke, which meant he was wearing only his half open tunic and trousers. He had no boots on and no vest, yet he wasn't cold. Actually his skin was boiling hot from all the adrenaline that was rushing through his veins. His hair was a wild mess, because he kept pulling them from the roots each time he heard Eilin screaming from pain. His eyes were bloodshot from unshed tears and his face was pale and broken with lines of worry.

His friends didn't leave his side. In fact more came along to help as slowly Erebor began to wake up. Gloin, Durar, Bjarki and Fili joined the gathering and brought along with them chairs and small tables to place their breakfasts, bottles of ale and pipes. Thorin didn't partake in any conversation no matter how many times his companions tried to draw his attention away from his doors. Durar even offered to take him for a ride outside in order to blow off some steam, but Thorin denied angrily. He was one decision away from breaking down his doors, pushing his sister aside and sitting next to his wife in order to support her, as she struggled to deliver.

Young Ori went to the kitchens after Balin's orders and brought up as many bottles of mead as he could carry. Then Gloin, Dwalin, Bjarki and Durar took turns in order to convince Thorin to drink some. Balin insisted that all men turned out drunk during the delivery of their children, but it wasn't easy to convince the King to do the same. He took the offer a couple of times, but the moment he felt dizziness taking over he pushed every mug aside. He didn't want to be drunk during Eilin's labour. He wanted to remember every single moment of anguish, anxiety and fear. He longed to see and touch his children for the first time with a clear head. Therefore the only thing his friends managed was to crowd him, without being able to alleviate his worries about what was taking place behind his closed doors.

A couple of times those accursed doors opened up and Thorin sprang on his feet in order to get some news, but the maidens rushed by with a few brief words. "She's doing fine my Lord." When they returned holding fresh water and clean towels Thorin trailed behind them quickly in order to get a glimpse of Eilin, but the door shut him out before he ever had a chance to. The last time the same drill happened Thorin didn't pull away from his doors. He leaned his hands on the casing and his forehead on the wooden panel. He closed his eyes and tried hard to control the cascade of emotions that was threatening to spill out of his seams. He counted inwards each time Eilin's cried, waiting for her to settle down and his body tensed along with all those declarations of pain.

Bjarki's hand landed on his shoulder and tried to pull him away from the door.

"You are not helping yourself, come, let's walk a little." His friend of old said.

"I don't want to." Thorin spat and looked at Bjarki with heavy eyes.

"You are only making things worse for you. You are agonising over your woman's pain and that is understandable, but what else can do? Do you think you will be able to go in there and support her? Let the women do their job. They are much more equipped than us to deal with this particular thing." Bjarki wised.

"So I am supposed to stay out here and listen to her screaming like a pig on slaughter?" Thorin felt his skin crawling.

"No, actually you were supposed to get drunk and possibly have a ride with us outside until the babies were delivered! Then you were supposed to get return in order to meet them. No one counted on you anchoring outside these doors and become overwrought about something you have no control over!" Balin intervened.

"I was kicked out of my wife's labour also and they were right in doing so. No matter how many times I fought valiantly against our foes, I was unable to face the delivery of my children without feeling like faint." Durar's head bobbed and he drunk some mead.

"I actually did faint...twice and then they kicked me out!" Bjarki smiled.

Thorin frowned at both men. "What the hell are you talking about? I am not going to faint!"

"You will fall flat on your face if you see all that blood spilling out of your wife's innards and your children covered with it! They will have to leave Eilin to struggle alone in order to revive you!" Bjarki raised his brow and took a sip.

Durar laughed knowingly and Balin joined in heartily.

Thorin shuddered hard. "You are not listening! I am not in danger of fainting, nor am I unable to support my woman in this. I shouldn't be out here , but in there with her!" He grumbled and pointed at the doors.

"You should have been dead drunk by now, but you are too hot headed and stubborn for me to achieve that!" Dwalin raised his brow.

Thorin humphed, crossed his arms and moved away from the doors feeling both annoyed towards his friends who felt that he was unable to handle this and towards his uncertainty when it came to demanding entrance to his rooms in order to be next to Eilin. He listened to his sister and kept away, but was that doing right by Eilin who begged him to be next to her? On the other hand she would have called him in by now, if she had truly needed him, right? His brows clouded. Maybe she was mad at him for making her suffer in this manner. He looked at his friends and felt this new dawning fear numbing him. "She didn't call for me, did she?"

Balin raised his brow. "No."

"Because she doesn't need you right now. My wife didn't need me either when she delivered my wee lad. Oh, I was fretting much like you till I saw him all tiny and weak with a head full of red hair." Gloin began reminiscing.

"She'll call me if she needs me, right?" Thorin's eyes turned all needy on Bjarki.

"Of course she will." His friend squeezed his shoulder.

"Maybe do you think she's a bit upset with me?" Thorin hesitated.

Durar frowned. "Whatever for?"

"I did this to her didn't I? She's suffering because of me. Maybe she's mad at me for it." Thorin was unable to hide his distress.

Durar raised his brow and gulped down all his mead. "She is most certainly angry at you right now. My wife's fury lasted many months after delivery!"

Thorin's eyes grew wide with apprehension. "It did?"

Bjarki shook his head in accordance. "They go through a rather dark period, don't they? I remember it well even though I'd do anything to forget it."

"It gets even worse than this?" Thorin looked around him growingly discouraged.

"They go through a period of immense sadness were nothing you say can soothe them and no gift can make them smile. They only want to sleep, cry and cuddle with their babies. They don't even want to kiss or embrace us." Durar rejoined with a tone that grew darker upon that memory.

"Oh, for heaven's sake..." Thorin's frown deepened.

"They seem to actually hate us during that period, remember?" Bjarki looked at Gloin.

Gloin nodded. "Do I not, perchance..."

Thorin paled.

"Did you come up here to help or trip him up?" -Balin placed his hands angrily on his wide belt- "Look at the poor lad, he's lost all the colour from his face."

Bjarki clasped Thorin's shoulder. "If Eilin goes into that period of sadness, then work my friend...work hard and long hours away. Give her time to stay with her babies and cry her eyes out and don't overcrowd her, because she might threaten to leave you. My wife did that even though I was trying my best to help her." He warned the King.

Thorin's lips parted and he emptied himself against the wall feeling defeated. "She did?" He muttered.

Balin humphed annoyed and looked at his brother. "They are scaring him to bits...look."

Dwalin raised his brow and frowned at them. "Shut up will you?!" He grumbled.

"We are just preparing him. He must know what to expect!" Durar snapped.

Dwalin's nose flared and he addressed his childhood friend. "No one knows for sure that all this will befall your family Thorin. They are talking about their own experiences, but they might not happen to you and Eilin." He tried to reason.

Bjarki frowned. "Most if not all women become moody after birth. They are easily tired, rather emotional and possibly hate us...if only for a short period of time."

Gloin crossed his arms. "My wife went through such a phase, I remember. I tried to handle it by saying yes to everything she wanted. That made things easier."

Durar raised his hand. "True. Either agree with everything she says, or go to work...a lot!"

Bjarki laughed and Gloin joined in.

Thorin's face blanched even more. He clutched his temples and closed his eyes. "You people are not helping..." He muttered.

Young Ori came next to him. "Maybe you shouldn't listen to hearsay Sir."

Thorin's eyes cracked open and he looked down at this young man.

Ori flicked his shoulders. "I suppose delivering a child must be very difficult and extremely painful. A woman must feel tired and moody afterwards, but that doesn't mean your whole world is going to come crashing down, right?"

Thorin's lips curled up in a ghostly smile. "No, perhaps it won't."

Ori crossed his arms and frowned. "Besides not all women are the same. I remember my dad telling me that mom was up and about one day after birth, taking care of me, the house and my father...so who knows. Maybe Lady Eilin will be like my mother."

Thorin's smile brightened up. "I sure hope so."

Ori reciprocated the smile and offered Thorin a mug. "There is always hope. You want a drink Sir?"

Thorin's wistful smile got erased when he looked at the mead and he shook his head. "No...no I need to have a clear head."

"So you can drive yourself crazy with relative ease..." Balin raised his brow.

Thorin glowered at his advisor briefly and then resumed his nervous pace in front of his doors. That is when a rather loud cry echoed in the corridors and Thorin froze in front of the door. His whole body tensed. It was Dwalin's hand that landed on his shoulder this time.

"You need to get away from this door, or you will never calm down." He said quietly.

Thorin raised his hand in a warning for Dwalin to keep away. His brow wrinkled as he tried to discern what the elevated voices inside where saying. When another scream of anguish echoed like thunder in the corridor, both his ears and his heart bled, because it was followed by a gut-wrenching plea of agony that also included his name.

Thorin felt all the blood draining from his face. His instincts took over and he pushed Dwalin out of the way. He opened up the door so hard it almost unhinged and he marched into the room determined to slay anyone who would try to stand in his way. Dis and Loa where kneeling in front of Eilin's open legs. One of the helpers was trying to cool down his wife's brow and the other rushed quickly to stop him.

She placed her hand on his heaving chest. "My Lord, please get out!"

Eilin's bloodshot eyes turned to him and she extended her hand. "Thorin!" She yelled and he pushed the girl aside, sending her to the floor. He reached his wife and clasped her hand. Her response was so fierce that he cringed in pain.

"I am here my heart..." he said and cleared her sweaty hair away from her red face.

She puffed and groaned with each breath. "Where have you been?!" She spat.

"I...I..." He didn't know what to tell her and turned to his sister who looked up from Eilin's open legs. He gave her a resentful look and then turned to Eilin.

"One moment you were there, the next one you were gone! You promised to be here, you promised!" Eilin closed her eyes and weeped.

"Forgive me please...I am here now! Nothing can tear me away from you...no force in Middle Earth" he glowered again at his sister who ignored him. He pulled the cloth away from the other girl's hand and signalled her to leave angrily. "I have her, leave!" He spat.

"If I see you freaking out, I will kick you out again!" Dis warned him.

He gritted his teeth and gave his sister a murderous look, but didn't speak.

"I am so angry at you right now...you have no idea!" Eilin's teary eyes stabbed his heart and sweat rolled down the bridge of her nose. She was trembling all over.

"I know baby...I made you suffer." He said regretfully and wiped the sweat away from her brow gently.

"I am not mad that I am in pain! I am mad that you left me alone!" Eilin spat at him and her nails clawed the skin of his wrist.

He gritted his teeth against her suffering and watered the cloth. Then he patted it gently around Eilin's neck and heaving bosom. "You are right, I am a complete fool. An idiot!" He agreed.

"Don't patronise me!" She hissed and dug her nails even further.

"I will not, I promise..." He rejoined as calmly as he could and blew some air on the side of her neck.

That seemed to soothe her down a bit. She closed her eyes and exhaled. "That feels good..." she moaned and her claws relaxed slightly on him.

He nodded. "I can keep you cool. Can I have my hand back so I can do it properly?" He asked.

She released him and nodded. "I am sorry I yelled at you back there..." she stuttered and closed her eyes again.

"I don't mind. Yell at me as much as you want just let me help you." He spoke gently and picked up her hair. He twisted them into a bun and fixed them on the top of her head.

Her whole body tensed and she frowned. "The pain in my back, it's killing me Thorin! I swear I will die before I manage to get these babies out..."

Thorin's brow wrinkled, but he tried not to show anything to Eilin, for that had been his greatest fear ever since the beginning. That he'd end up raising his two children without her. "Everything is going to be okay, now breathe." He told her and blew gently around her bosom and neck. One of his large hands cupped her small fist and the other caressed several drenched locks away from her temples.

"Nothing is going to happen to you my lady. The baby is rather big that is why it is making your life hard. Now breathe deeply and count like I told you. The moment you feel a contraction push. Push with all your might!" -Loa said and then looked down again- "You are fully dilated and I can see the head. It won't take you too long, come on my Lady, you can do it."

Eilin nodded and allowed herself to relax a little bit under Thorin's presence, but the small comfort she felt when he sat next to her didn't last long as the well known by now excruciating pain at her tailbone and lower body tore through her like the sharpest knife. She clutched Thorin's forearm and her other hand came around and grabbed his shoulder. She buried her head under his chin and pushed with all her might. A scream of agony tore through her neck and she felt her insides breaking apart.

Thorin's arms instantly came around to hold her to him. He counted inwards with her sharp breaths, gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes tight. If he could have taken on this fight for her, he would have. If he could be in labour instead of her, he would have done it in a heartbeat, but nature commanded differently. All he could do now was hold her through this torment. He didn't know how long he counted until her scream drained and her body relaxed under him if only fractionally, but when he spoke his voice was totally broken. "Are you alright?" he muttered feeling in awe at the ability a woman's body had to sustain such anguish in order to create life.

She nodded and her hot breath whiplashed his skin. Her nails had created a tight ball out of his tunic and her teeth were cluttering from the shock her body was going through. "I just want it out of me, now!" She muttered with a voice that was barely heard.

"It's coming, it needs a few more pushes. Come on honey, you can do it!" Dis said and one of the girls wiped the brow of the princess.

Eilin leaned her head on Thorin's chest and his large hand cupped her face covering it all from her jawline up to her temple protectively. She inhaled his scent deeply and tried to soothe her bruised nerves now that the pain had become numb once again. Her quivering body couldn't decide if it was too cold or too warm. She grasped his tunic and pulled herself up in order to burrow as close to him as possible.

"You can do it baby...I'll push with you." Thorin whispered to her gently.

She snorted despite the circumstances. "What will come out if you push?" she groaned and tried to find a better position that wouldn't put too much pressure on her back.

"I don't think it's going to be pleasant I assure you." He smiled and kissed her burning brow.

She chuckled, but instantly that small mirth his words created was squashed under the oncoming contraction ruthlessly. She tensed and got prepared. "Hold me Thorin...It's coming..." she murmured and his arms tightened around her.

"Push!" Dis commanded her.

"Push my love," He whispered at her and she felt the pain breaking her apart. A low guttural groan of torment erupted from her chest that ended up into a howl of agony as she threw her head back to the pillows and her nails clawed Thorin's hand until blood began dripping down his wrist. She gritted her teeth against the pain and squeezed him mercilessly. Then she counted as she felt the baby's head tearing up her skin and a fresh flare of pain echoed towards her bottom. She clenched it instinctively in order to protect herself from anymore damage.

Dis looked up sharply. "Don't tense your body, open it up! Push the head out!"

Eilin shook her head and hollered. "I am being pulled apart!"

"You are doing fine! Trust me...inhale deeply and on the exhalation push! Push damn it!" Dis cried with an austere voice.

Thorin looked back at his sister angrily, but didn't intervene. He just pressed Eilin's hand and lowered his head to her ear. "Push my heart, give it your all. We are here for you, no one will let you to come to harm, trust in your body as I trust in you."

Eilin nodded and gritted her teeth as a compressed growl of anger and pain escaped her wheezing chest. She pressed his palm with such brutal force that their conjoined hands trembled almost uncontrollably and when she felt the contraction coming again she held onto any thread of sanity that was still intact in her pain sordid mind. She released a scream that echoed into the room and tore Thorin's heart right out of his chest.

He didn't know how long he held her tightly, offering her the opportunity to use him as a punching bag as she tensed and relaxed time and time and time again. As she screamed and groaned and her whole body twisted out of shape every time she pushed in order to get the baby's head out. It could have been mere moments, it could have been half the day as Thorin completely lost track of time in front of this nightmare. He gritted his teeth at every single cry of anguish that came from Eilin and whenever she pushed, his body instinctively tensed with hers.

He didn't know if it was normal to take this long to deliver a child or if she should be in so much pain, but he tried to hold her close as sweat run like rivers upon her burning skin. He didn't speak a word when he saw blood on the hands of Loa and on the towels the maidens were changing under Eilin. He tried not to cry when he saw Eilin's red face slowly becoming paler and paler and when he looked at her tight lips becoming almost blue from the effort. He turned his head away from her face and looked at their joined hands...at her white knuckles and at the uncontrollable shaking of her forearm as she pushed once more. He heard her visceral cry tearing his soul apart and he leaned his head on her temple wanting to steal away some of her pain...then tears pooled at the edge of his eyes and he tried hard to draw them back. He sat there next to her not knowing how to help her. Was he actually doing anything by sitting there next to her? Any doubt he may have had about that got dispersed when she came up and bit hard on his deltoid as a terrifying cry of excruciating pain, made his ears bleed. It had his name in it. "Thorin!" He inhaled sharply and grasped the back of her head keeping her there on him, despite the fact that her teeth had torn through his skin.

"Oh, Mahal have mercy on her please." He whispered and kissed the top of her drenched mane feeling the aftershocks of the pain coursing through her body. Just when he felt that he was unable to take anymore of this he heard his sister.

"You did it, the head is out! One more push my darling, one more!" Dis looked up happily.

Eilin sobbed hard on Thorin's deltoid and his hand tightened around her head. "Push baby..." he said right to her ear.

She tensed and got ready to push with all her might like all the other times, expecting nothing to happen, but the moment she pushed with half the effort she felt something popping out of her with force and a wave of relief overtook her torn lower body. She exhaled hard and fell back to the bed. Thorin leaned above her protectively and began cleaning her forehead and cheeks with a fresh cloth. "All is well, breathe Eilin...breathe baby..." He kept muttering.

She nodded unwilling to put in any effort to reply to him.

That is when Thorin heard something that made him stop. It sounded like a kitten mewling in one of the corners of the room, and he frowned deeply. He looked around confused. He got ready to ask what that was, when suddenly he saw Dis placing a very bloody, but rather large baby on a clean towel and wrapping it gently. That is where the sound was coming from. He felt his heart stopping for a few moments ...moments that would remain unforgettable to him to the end of his days. Loa got buried between Eilin's legs again and Dis turned around and placed the newborn on the table in order to clean it. It was Eilin's hand that reanimated the shocked King.

"I heard it. Is my baby okay!?" she asked with wide eyes full of terror.

Dis turned around bearing the King's firstborn in her arms. It's face was clean, but wet and it was mewling like a kitty. Dis smiled at the couple brightly. "It's a boy!"

Thorin exhaled hard and felt his eyes overflowing with unbidden tears. He turned to Eilin who was also crying and looked at her for a few stupefied moments before giving her an innocent, unsure smile that warmed up her heart. "A boy..." He whispered.

She nodded and opened up her arms to him. He fell on her and enfolded her so tightly that she couldn't breathe, but she didn't care. "A boy!" -She repeated and then in an afterthought she snorted slightly amused- "Your son almost killed me..."

He cried and laughed at the same time and kissed every single spot on her face and neck. "I know...I know..."

Dis rounded the bed and offered the newborn to Eilin. The moment she laid it upon her chest, the baby stopped crying and opened up his eyes. He looked as if he was searching around, trying to figure out what was happening. "He's so beautiful."

Thorin's huge hand lingered momentarily above his son's head and he looked up at Dis for confirmation.

"What are you waiting for? He's your boy! Caress him, wolf." Dis beamed down to him.

Thorin used one finger to shuffle the baby's full set of dark and wavy hair and felt the softness of his wet skin. That monumental feeling got imprinted in his heart forever. "Hi..." he whispered gently and the baby's blue eyes tried to find his father, but failed. Thorin felt more tears cascading down his cheeks and tried to keep himself in check.

"Look at him." Eilin cooed and kissed the baby's head.

"He's massive, much like his father." -Dis said proudly- "That's why it took him so long to come out."

"I know, but look at him, look at how beautiful he is...oh...oh...no..." Eilin winced and grabbed her back with a grimace of pain again.

"What's going on?" Thorin looked at Loa worried.

"The second one is effacing. Get ready my Lady." Loa looked up.

Eilin bit her lower lip until blood spilled down her chin. "Take the baby..." she said to Dis, who immediately took the firstborn away.

Thorin didn't know whom to turn to. His son that was being taken away from him or his wife who had blood dripping down her chin. He dipped a clean cloth in the water and supported her nape as he cleaned her chin carefully. "Don't bite your lip, no Eilin stop!" he told her firmly.

She squeezed her eyes tight as she felt the vicious contractions coming again. "I need to bite into something...it's coming again!" She cried at him and he twisted the cloth and passed it from her lips.

"This bite down on this!" He cleaned some loose locks away from her brow and kissed her cheek gently.

Eilin's glazed eyes opened up, but the fog in her mind was not enough to make her forget the beautiful face of her son. She felt her heart skirting at the memory. "Does Dis have my son? Where is he?" She asked anxious.

Thorin looked over at the corner. "Yes, she's cleaning him up."

"He's crying..." Eilin frowned and all her maternal instincts told her to get out of bed and take her son in her arms. To feed him, to caress him, to offer him comfort, to soothe his crying, but her body failed her as her other child demanded an entrance to this world. Eilin felt the contraction and threw her head back as her whole body trembled uncontrollably. She bit down on the cloth and felt it's liquids spilling into her mouth. Even though her already bruised lower body was suffering by the passage of the second baby, the pain unexpectedly was less.

"Your boy needs milk. When the second one comes you shall feed them both. Don't worry my darling." Dis smiled back to her.

Loa nodded. "I touch the head, it's not as big."

"Is that bad?" Eilin panted and looked up from her inclined position. Sweat was running like water down her cheeks, her neck and was even pooling on her heaving chest. Thorin kept her nape secure and used another cloth to cool her down.

"No, of course not my Lady. Different babies, different sizes." Loa said calmly and used some towels to wipe out the blood that was coming from the wounds around Eilin's tunnel.

Thorin looked at his wife's broken face. "Are you okay?"

She nodded and held her breath. "It's coming again..." She stuttered.

"Count...I will count with you." Thorin looked at her with such devotion, that Eilin's heart overflowed with bliss. Now that she knew how it felt to deliver a child she was not as afraid anymore. Only impatient to see the second one. To make sure they were alright too.

She breathed in deeply and counted alongside her husband and when the contraction came she released a cry of agony and pushed as hard as she could. She felt every single inch of her severed body opening up again with excruciating pain, but her lower muscles instinctively tensed and pushed on their own in a dire need to get the child out of her. When the pain numbed down she exhaled and fell back into bed exhausted.

"A couple of more pushes and they'll be out my Lady." Loa said and cleaned Eilin's bloody legs that were trembling.

Eilin nodded and opened up her foggy eyes to look at her husband. "Our boy...he has your colours..." a small smile cracked on her lips.

"Unfortunately. I was praying for him to have yours..." He smiled lovingly down at her and wiped the sweat away from her neck and temples.

She reached out and clutched his hand like a barnacle. "He's beautiful, just like you..." she whispered.

He felt his eyes tearing up.

"What shall we call him?" she asked and felt the traces of the contraction coming low in her back. She instantly tensed.

He tensed with her and gritted his teeth.

Eilin squeezed his hand tight and arched off the bed. "Oh heavens it's coming again..."

"Push my lady!" Loa cried.

Eilin's mouth opened up and she growled as the excruciating pain stole every single bit of logic from her mind, but that surprisingly lasted only for a few moments. Even though she had been expecting the pain to numb down again in order to offer her more contractions soon, this push of hers popped out the head and the whole body of the baby in one go. She felt her lower body throbbing, but the relief was immediate and immense. She exhaled hard and abandoned herself in Thorin's arms.

He kept her close to his chest and looked down at Loa who pulled out a much smaller baby that was not crying at all. She frowned and picked it up by the legs, keeping it upside down. She gave it three gentle smacks on the bottom and the baby coughed and began mewling, but the sound was faded, almost extinguished. Loa looked up at Eilin. "One more push my Lady to get out the babies home. Come on!"

Eilin nodded and her waisted body didn't have to try that hard. She simply squeezed her lower muscles and she felt a gush of liquids coming out that offered her instant relaxation. Loa gave a signal to one of the girls who came up and began pushing on Eilin's belly in order to help her body clean up. Loa wrapped the second baby in a clean towel and smiled at the couple. "It's a girl!" She said.

Dis came around holding the boy in her arms. "A double miracle for you my darlings!" She said and looked at her brother and her sister-in-law.

Thorin's eyes couldn't stop crying and he couldn't tear himself away from his wife in order to check on them. "A girl, did you hear that?" he whispered.

Eilin looked up. "I need to see her. I need to see Rhianaye!" she murmured and began weeping.

Loa brought her over and Thorin instantly felt his stomach dropping. His little girl was as beautiful as her brother and shared his colours, but she was much smaller, she wasn't crying and her skin had a slightly blue hue. He frowned up at Loa, trying to understand what was going on. The cautious look Loa's eyes returned to him, wrapped a gold hand around his stomach. He felt cold sweat breaking on his back.

"Oh, my baby girl. I saw you in my dreams...you were so beautiful. My pretty, my beloved Rhianaye..." Eilin was cooing her baby and caressing the black curly hair on the baby's head.

Thorin reached out to touch his girl, but hesitated and fear gripped his guts. His hand looked huge and dangerous as it hang above this frail little creature. "Why isn't she crying?" she asked.

Eilin didn't even hear him as she was enwrapped in bliss.

Loa shook her head to him discreetly and signalled him silently to follow her.

Thorin didn't want to go there and hear something bad about his baby. He wanted to remain here with Eilin and hope that everything was okay and that his instincts were wrong at that moment. He opened up his hand and touched the head of the baby gently. It could fit whole in the hollow of his palm and a shudder of apprehension run down his back. His baby girl, his little Gem was half the size of her brother who looked healthy and sounded angrily hungry in the arms of Dis.

He leaned down and gave a soft peck on Eilin's lips. She returned him an adoring look. "Isn't she just amazing?" She said and her eyes were full of love and admiration for her second baby.

"She's as beautiful as her mother." Thorin said with a voice that cracked.

Dis approached Loa and they exchanged a few words. Thorin looked at them and then at Eilin. "Can I go see our son?"

Eilin nodded happily. "Yes, my love. I feel fine, just very tired. Go..." She reassured him and she offered her breast to little Rhianaye.

Thorin looked with dread at the small newborn as it couldn't even find enough strength to open her mouth in order to grab her mother's nipple. He stood up and walked with unsteady legs to his sister. The moment he arrived his eyes fell at his crying son and he reached out to take him. Dis gave him over and Thorin cradled him close to his heart. This baby had a healthy peach colour and he was moving nervously, searching for food. "He needs his mother's milk." Dis said and wiped the sweat off her brow.

"What's wrong with my girl?" Thorin didn't pussyfoot around words. His eyes burned through Loa.

"She's weak and she has trouble breathing." Loa pressed her lips.

Dis closed her eyes and nodded. "She will need help with feeding and we need to have her skin to skin in order to regulate her temperature."

"That's why she's so blue? She's cold?" Thorin looked with dread back at the bed were Eilin was desperately trying to make Rhianaye get a good grip on her breast.

Loa nodded. "Yes."

Thorin didn't want to speak the words that came into his mind. He would have preferred to die on the spot than utter them...yet he did. "Is she going to die?"

Dis looked up sharply.

Loa shook her head. "I don't know yet my Lord, but I cannot hide the fact that she needs care."

Thorin felt his chest rattling with an explosion of emotions that he was unable to control. He looked away and cupped his mouth. He closed his eyes tight and counted inwards, trying to stop himself from coming apart in front of Eilin. Loa retreated discreetly and came around the bed to help Eilin feed the tiny girl. Thorin's arms tightened around Durin protectively. Dis' hand grasped his shoulder. "You have to be brave for your wife now...silence..."

He killed the sob that was threatening to come out and gave her a soft nod.

"Don't show her that something is wrong, you are going to destroy her. We will try to save the little one, but be strong for your wife. Do you hear me?" Dis' voice was hard.

"Yes.." He said feeling defeated. If nothing else could defeat him in this life, then the death of one of his children would be enough to kill him on the spot.

Eilin called at him from the bed. "We will call her Rhianaye, right?" She was glowing from the inside out.

Dis' hand gripped his bicep and squeezed him tight. He smiled back at her lovingly. "Rhianaye yes...I love that name." He agreed.

Eilin's eyes gleamed with rapture. "You hear that Rhianaye my little angel? Daddy loves your name."

A cold hand squeezed all the blood out of Thorin's heart and his sister hand tightened on his bicep. "Go to her, the boy also needs to eat."

Thorin nodded and approached. He looked down at his arms and pushed the blanket away from Durin's face. The boy began mewling again and Thorin brought him up to give his brow a soft kiss, which seemed to settle the firstborn a little. Then he sat next to Eilin and placed the boy in her arms. As she still struggled with Loa's help to make Rhianaye grip better, Thorin lowered Eilin's sweaty tunic and brought Durin close to her nipple. The boy's mouth traced around his mother's breast for a few moments before grabbing her nipple hard between his lips and sucking it hard. Eilin yelped and looked at her son with a look of utter bliss in her eyes. "He's so strong..." she whispered and wrapped her arm around his small body. As Durin sucked with zeal he brought up his small hands and began mauling his mother's breast.

"He's drinking..." he looked up at his sister.

She nodded and patted his back reassuringly. "He has a healthy appetite. So we have a name for the most beautiful little girl in the kingdom, but do we have one for the most handsome prince?" Dis tried to force herself to smile for the benefit of her sister in law, but her eyes couldn't leave the poor girl who was still shivering and had a difficulty even swallowing once when at the same time her brother was gulping down all the reserves of Eilin's milk.

"I have an idea. How about Thedric?" Eilin's eyes shone bright at Thorin.

"People's ruler?" He smiled softly and caressed her forehead.

"Yes, you like it?" she grinned.

He nodded gently. "Immensely, but will you allow me the honour of giving our son a name since you gave a name to our daughter first?"

Eilin huffed and closed her eyes. "Of course my love, forgive me."

Thorin pulled one of her hands up and placed a soft kiss at her palm. "Thank you."

Dis pressed his shoulder. "So what will his name be?"

Thorin's lips turned down. "He won't have an outer name yet..." He said thoughtfully.

Dis frowned. "Why?"

"We need to wait." He rejoined and Dis recognised the introspection in his eyes. She also knew that rarely did fathers avoid giving a child an outer name. Those rare cases where only if there was a hint of the baby being someone's reincarnation.

"Very well, what shall he be named temporarily then?" Dis raised her brow with a knowing smile.

"Farin." Thorin rejoined pensively.

Eilin looked up totally unbothered either by Thorin's unwillingness to give their son an outer name, nor by the fact that one of Rhianaye's gulps equalled ten of her brother's. She smiled up brightly. "I love it."

"Ancient?" Dis felt her eyes burning with tears.

"Isn't he perchance?" Thorin tilted his head at his sister. Then he turned at his babies and looked at them. He looked at Durin and his heart filled with pride and then his eyes turned to his little fragile girl and his soul peeled off it's layers in order to offer them to his little Gem as blankets to warm her up. He felt his throat constricting and leaned his head until his forehead touched Eilin's temple and there he remained. His arm reached out and covered Durin's body. His palm landed on the small body of his little Gem and he exhaled hard close to his wife's ear. "I love you all, so much..." He whispered.

Eilin turned and offered him a warm kiss on his temple. "We love you too..." She said in a hushed tone.

Dis allowed the couple to embrace as a family while the maidens cleaned the lower part of the Queen and she went to the door. She placed her hand on the handle and turned to her brother. "Shall I announce the births and the names?"

He nodded, but he didn't wish to speak to anyone. He simply wanted to hold his family close to his heart and pray that all of them would be alive to see the next day. His hand rested gently on the back of his little girl and his constricted breaths burned Eilin's skin.

When Dis opened the door she was flooded by Thorin's comrades who couldn't wait to learn the news. When Dis announced that the firstborn was a boy and that his name was temporarily Farin, the corridor exploded with thundering applause and whistles of satisfaction. Then Dis announced that there was also a little girl whose name was Rhianaye and everybody exclaimed in happiness and relief, sharing in the bliss of the Royal couple, but not in the fear that abounded in Thorin's stomach.

Eilin was too concentrated on her babies to share on the rapture that had overtaken the corridor outside, and Thorin couldn't bring himself to lift his head from Eilin's shoulder to see anyone. All he wanted was for Dis to close the door and allow him a few precious moments with his family, not knowing if his little girl would be breathing tomorrow. He looked down at his son who was sleeping contently on his mother's chest after drinking as much as he could. His little belly was bloated and he looked healthy and calm. He caressed Durin's hair and gave a gentle kiss on his small foot. Then he looked at his fragile little girl who had given up on the struggle to get a few gulps of milk down and was sleeping with her mouth hanging half open from her mother's nipple. His heart skirted and he closed his eyes.

Thorin didn't pull away from Eilin, not even when the bells of Erebor chimed in celebration of the birth of the royal twins. He didn't seem to care when the trumpets rang three times to herald the arrival of the heir to the throne of Erebor. He remained there unmovable counting the breaths of all of them, but especially his daughter's, until he heard Eilin's breathing becoming deeper. He looked up then and Dis saw his eyes red. He had been crying next to Eilin's head all this time silently. He drew back and rubbed his face feeling all the traces of his emotional exhaustion coming alive now that he didn't have to keep up a facade for his tired wife.

Dis sighed and came over to take little Durin. He twisted uncomfortably for a couple of moments, but then he settled down again as his sister tucked him inside the cradle that Thorin had made. With the help of Loa she brought it next to the Royal bed and looked at her brother. "Easier for her to get the babies for feeding during the night."

Thorin nodded and looked at his daughter who was cradled loosely in Eilin's arms. Loa went to the other side and picked the little girl up. "The Queen needs to sleep ma'am, but the girl needs skin to skin. She's too cold and she needs your heat to regulate her temperature, her breathing and her heartbeats."

Dis nodded and began undressing in order to wear the girl when Thorin stood up and stopped her. "What are you doing?"

"I am going to wear Rhianaye on my skin, didn't you hear what Loa said?" Dis frowned.

"So is this a prerogative of women only or something?" Thorin sounded pissed.

Loa pulled back confused. "Of course not my Lord."

He gave them a curt nod and took off his tunic. The maidens that had finished with Eilin and were covering her up, averted their eyes embarrassed.

"What are you doing wolf?" Dis' lips parted.

"I am going to wear my daughter." He raised his brow and opened up his arms expecting Loa to give him the baby.

She did and he took her carefully, afraid that he was going to break her. Her fragility squeezed at his heart mercilessly and a strong wave of fierce protectiveness towards this little girl captured his very core. It was a feeling that was going to follow him to the grave. He looked up at Dis. "I don't know how to do it! Care to show me!?" He sounded both impatient and annoyed.

Dis approached and showed him how to place the baby belly down on his chest so that her ear was above his heart. She then turned to Loa. "Bring over a sling, the biggest one we have." She said.

Loa searched the gathered slings they had prepared beforehand and brought one over. Dis took over the job of fastening it securely around Thorin's wide shoulders and back. It barely had enough fabric left to allow them to tie it at his side. She looked at him critically, but his eyes never left the little girl that was pressed on his naked skin. "I didn't count on you wanting to wear her. I need to make you a bigger sling. I will do so immediately."

He looked up lost and his hand came around Rhianaye's small body protectively. "Will this help her?" She heard the desperation in his voice and she felt her heart breaking.

"I hope so. Your body temperature, your breathing and your heartbeat will regulate hers. You need to keep her skin to skin all the time unless she is feeding on her mother, but don't try a skin to skin on Eilin while she's asleep. She might topple over and fall on the baby in her sleep. The one wearing Rhianaye must be awake for the whole duration. Either you, Eilin or me, alright? We will take shifts."

He nodded and wiped a few tears from his cheeks. Dis felt her heart breaking at seeing her brother shielding his baby girl so lovingly. She came over and pulled him in a tight embrace which he reciprocated. "We will do the best we can to save her okay?"

He nodded and a small sob left his chest.

"I am here for you wolf. I won't leave you for a single moment, okay?" She kissed his bearded cheek and caressed his hair.

Another small nod. "Do you think she is going to make it?"

"We will do our best...all of us...do you hear me?" Dis pulled back and cupped his cheeks.

He looked back at his wife who had turned on her side and was sleeping heavily. Then his eyes fell to the cradle where his beloved son was sleeping bereft of any troubles with a crimson royal blanket wrapped tightly around his body.

Dis gave another firm kiss to his cheek and pressed her arms around his waist. "Your wife was brave beyond words. She fought through this battle courageously and gave birth to two beautiful children. Now it's your turn to be brave for her and for them. Alright?"

Another nod came from him. "I will be..." he muttered.

Dis sighed deeply and turned to Loa. "Is the Queen clean?"

Loa bowed. "Yes, my Lady. She needs to rest as much as possible. Take the babies to her for feeding, but try not to wake her up."

Dis exhaled for the first time feeling traces of fatigue on her body. She looked out of the window and saw that the sun had set long ago. Eilin had been in labour all through the night and all through the day. "Thank you for all your help my dear woman." She told Loa.

The woman bowed respectfully. "It was my honour to deliver the heirs to the throne." The maidens next to her bowed also.

Dis brought Thorin his tunic and assisted him to wear it, but she pulled the strings apart in order to keep it open around the little girl. "Are you cold wolf?"

He shook his head and walked over to the cradle. One hand he kept on his daughter and the other he placed it on the cradle and began rocking it gently as Durin was mewling in his sleep. Dis placed her hands on her waist, feeling the crust of Eilin's dried blood under her fingertips. She exhaled and closed her eyes. "Loa, go and rest in my rooms. Lis is outside with the men. If I need you for anything I will call you."

Loa bowed and opened the door. Thorin's comrades flocked close to take a peek inside, but Loa didn't allow them. She closed the door behind her and silence fell in the room. Dis remained silent, admiring her brother who not only supported his brave wife during a rather tough delivery, but also had the presence of mind to take over his children immediately. She felt her heart swelling with pride, but the fear of the little girl's health didn't allow her to experience this domestic bliss for Thorin fully. She remained quiet for a rather long time, trying to calm down her own emotions before he turned to her.

"You look spent." He said quietly.

"You do too." She smiled.

He shook his head and closed his eyes. "I am fine."

She swallowed hard. "You look in desperate need to have a bath and some rest. Your wife is resting too. Allow me to look after the babies until you freshen up and then rest by her side for a while wolf."

He shook his head with a deep frown. "No...I cannot rest now Dis. Not while my daughter is unable to breathe properly. I shall not rest until I see her better." He looked devastated down at the small wrinkled baby that had her small head pressed above his heart, and felt that heart of his melting to mere nothingness. When he met Eilin and fell in love with her, he thought that was the pinnacle of emotions that he would ever be able to reach. That was until the moment his children were born, because standing there and looking down at this dark haired fairy in his arms a whole new array of intense emotions he had never experienced before in his life erupted and engulfed every single cell in his body and mind.

Dis nodded in understanding. "Will you mind if I go take a bath and change my clothes? I will be back immediately after that."

His words made her feel pride once again for him. "I have everything don't worry. Go and rest."

She approached and touched the middle of his back. She felt the shudder coursing through his body and understood how difficult all this was for him. She kissed him and leaned her forehead between his shoulder blades. "I won't leave you alone."

"I know." His deep voice reverberated in the room.

"I love you wolf" she whispered.

"Me too gerbil. Thank you for everything you did." He reached behind his back and clasped her hand tightly. She reciprocated and waited several moments counting her brother's breaths before giving him another tender kiss.

"Go." He shooed her away and reluctantly she opened the door and pushed everybody back. She told Thorin's comrades that the royal family needed some peace and quiet and that everything was well. On Balin's question if the babies were alright, the small hesitation in Dis' answer send a confused wave of apprehension through the men. Instead of managing to disperse them, she managed the exact opposite. To have them keep a silent vigil outside the doors of the Royal Chambers, impatiently waiting for Thorin to tell them some news.

As for him...he remained long next to the cradle, watching over his family with eyes that were full of devotion, but also full of dread. He took Durin again and offered him his mother's breast when he began fidgeting and took Rhianaye out of the sling carefully in order to offer her milk also. His son drunk as deftly as the first time, his poor girl barely managed a good job and Eilin didn't stop snoring. Thorin took care to allow his son to sleep on his mother first and then he moved him to the cradle where he covered him up with his blanket tightly like Dis had shown him and then he took the fragile and trembling body of his little Gem and placed her against his skin. Then he covered up Eilin and gifted her with dozens of kisses that released a sigh of relief from her chest, before sitting on the bed next to her. Eilin's arm wrapped around Thorin's stomach and she cuddled against him warmly while her breathing became heavy once more. He looked at the flames licking their way up through the wood and felt the total silence of the room weirdly troubling after all the commotion they had all experienced.

When Thorin's eyes left the fireplace they found his daughter once more yearningly. He looked down at her thin arms and at her wrinkled skin and his heart cried for her. He felt his eyes burning and he touched one of her tiny fingers with his large one. As if the baby understood, even though he was sure it was just an instinctive reaction from her, she reached out and grasped her father's finger with her small fist. When he felt that small miracle squeezing his finger tightly, the burning tears escaped his eyes and he closed them. Then he counted each and every single breath Rhianaye was taking...and he prayed.

He prayed long and hard that his strong heartbeat would help his little girl recover. He prayed not only to Mahal, but to all the Gods he knew for his little girl to have a chance in life. He may have seen her all grown up, a dazzling beauty in the Mirror of Galadriel, but nothing at that moment could remove the doubt from his mind that all that had been mere wistful thinking. Still he didn't allow himself to be drawn into darkness. He whispered to her, willing her to sustain with his help, telling her that he was not going to let her leave them without a fight. That he was going to fight with her, that he was going to be there to show her how to fight for her life.

When Dis returned she found the baby boy sleeping securely, and Thorin still awake, embracing both his little girl and Eilin. When Dis' eyes fell on the small fist around Thorin's finger she felt her eyes glistening with burning tears and she sat quietly at the armchair, ready to help her brother the moment he asked, but she didn't want to intervene.

Thorin Oakenshield at that moment was standing above his family like an angel and Dis was comforted by the knowledge that any doubt she previously had that Thorin would be able to cope was unfounded. Still she knew he'd need her support as he was the one supporting his whole family through this new ordeal of the baby girl's fragile health.


	71. The blessing

Thorin didn't close his eyes once through the whole night. Dis was unable to tear the baby girl from his arms even when he was dozing off. She lingered close to her brother in order to give him a nudge every now and again so he wouldn't fall asleep with the frail girl in his arms and cause it harm. The psychological fatigue on Thorin was pretty evident and it was taking a far heavier toll on him than any physical exertion had ever taken. This unbearable worry about his newborn daughter was enough to make his body shut down in order to protect itself and Dis knew that feeling. When Kili died, it was the only way her body could protect her mind from all that pain.

Witnessing Thorin, a man who could go days without sleep, battling to stay awake for a single night was all she needed to understand how heavily all this weigh on him. She wanted to reassure him that everything was going to be okay, but was that true? The infant's colour had improved vastly after Thorin wore her and she was not shivering anymore, but her breathing was still difficult. The poor baby didn't release her father's finger at all during the night and neither did Thorin attempt to pull it away. At one point Thorin asked Dis with a diminished voice to bring him over his son and Dis' heart skirted at how broken her brother looked. She picked up Farin carefully and placed him on Thorin's chest.

Only then was the King able to rest his head back to the armchair and close his eyes for a few moments. His arm enfolded his son close to his heart protectively. The baby boy wiggled nervously for a few moments, but as his ear was above his father's heart, he quickly settled down like his little sister. What made Dis' heart melt to a warm puddle of love was when Durin's small hand came out and grasped part of the sling that was holding his sister in place. She smiled and looked up at the tired eyes of her brother.

"They've been in the womb together for so long...look at them. They need each other's presence outside too." She whispered.

Thorin gazed down at them and felt his heart swelling with these unbearable emotions he had never experienced before in his life once again. Every time he looked at his children his heart spilled over with all those congested feelings that he was unable to control. His eyes burned and he closed them tightly. "I didn't know it felt like this..." He spoke in a hushed tone.

Dis frowned. "What do you mean?"

"To hold your own flesh and blood..." he whispered and opened his pained azure eyes to her.

Dis' heart squeezed hard and her eyes pooled with tears. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Too beautiful and ..." -he hesitated and looked at his little girl- "too painful. It hurts so much..."

Dis looked at Rhianaye. "It hurts because you fear for her life." -She reached out and touched his knee- "My love, your baby girl is going to be okay. Your blood runs through this girl and this boy. Your stubbornness and your resilience have passed down to them and if you combine that with the strength of their brave mother, you have in your arms not one, but two warriors. This precious Little Gem will not go out without a fight!"

Thorin's bottom lip began trembling and Dis' heart broke. "Why should she be required to fight so soon after seeing life?"

She pressed her lips. "Life is unfair like that wolf, you know it well. I know how seeing your children for the first time can elevate you to unfathomable heights, and how easily your fear for their life can throw you to the deepest pits. How it can suck out every single thread of courage from your heart. You fathered all of us, me, Frerin and my children, but still you have never felt your own flesh and blood in your arms. You have never been required to pray for their lives. This all must feel overwhelming to you, especially since you never believed you could have your own children."

He swallowed heavily and gave her a weak nod. "This is the third time in my life that I feel so afraid."

Dis' frowned. "When was the first?"

"When I saw Fili getting stabbed in front of my eyes..." he whispered.

Dis' heart broke and she closed her eyes. "The second?"

"When I thought I lost Eilin forever..." he spoke with the same broken tone.

Dis felt all the blood draining from her face. "It's the father in you longing to protect his children. Having no control over their fare will feel devastating at times and so scary, but sometimes you will have no choice but to allow life to unfold for them and remain a simple spectator like I did with my boys. Your little girl had to fight from the moment she took her first breath and your inability to win this fight for her, will diminish you. It will make you feel insignificant and I can relate with that wolf. This is such a humbling experience, isn't it?"

"Immensely." He whispered and caressed the rosy cheek of his son who squirmed under his hand.

"These new raw emotions will change you to the very core" -Dis lips upturned- "and I am happy I will be here to see all the changes in you taking place."

The hairpin of Thorin's mouth cracked a ghostly smile that vanished almost instantly. "There is no other place you could have been gerbil."

Dis' face clouded. "When a parent loses their child...many dark thoughts overtake their minds...I don't know where I could have been Thorin. Maybe dead..."

Thorin looked up sharply at that, but he remained silent.

"I am here though am I not? Here to admire you supporting your wife through a very hard labour like a bloody trooper. You remained by her side instead of drowning your worries in bottles of mead. You are the first man from our family who attended the labour of his woman and I feel so damned proud of you. I am sure Eilin will feel the same way when she comes to." Dis smiled.

He pressed his lips. "If she doesn't enter this dark period everyone is talking about..."

Dis frowned. "What dark period?"

"Where she will hate my guts for some unknown reason." He flicked his shoulder with a sad smile.

Dis snorted slightly. "Who's been telling you such drivel? Your men?"

He nodded and caressed the tiny hand of his daughter and felt it too cold. He wrapped both of them inside his large palm and willed his heat to engulf and warm them up. He felt her small body shivering slightly before settling down again.

"Did you listen to them when they were trying to get your drunk and told you to stay outside?" Dis raised her brows.

He huffed. "Almost..."

Dis raised her brow. "You didn't. Therefore you shouldn't listen to their silly chattering now! Each woman is different and the dynamics of each family unique. The relationship between you and Eilin is distinctive to your personalities and to the strong bond between you. The experiences of your men with their women are respective to the dynamics of their families. You understand?" She told him calmly.

He nodded gently.

"Dark periods...what a load of bollocks. I never went through such a phase. I may have been slightly more emotional, but nothing extraordinary overtook me and I certainly didn't end up hating my husband. Eilin will adore you for staying next to her throughout her labour." -Dis momentarily hesitated and then looked at him solemnly- "By the way I need you to forgive me for kicking you out." Her lips turned down regretfully.

He raised his brow. "You have no idea how much you angered me."

Dis pressed her hand on his knee. "Understand me wolf, what you did is hardly the norm. Usually the men are outside getting drunk to oblivion while their woman is delivering. When they meet their children, they present them proudly to their friends and then buy drinks for the house and partake in a feast that lasts three days and nights. A time for debauchery, during which their wife is home taking care of the newborns..." -Dis humphed sarcastically- "Maybe that's why their wives went though a period of depression, right?"

Thorin raised his brow.

"My husband bought drinks for everyone, but stayed by my side after birth. I appreciated it deeply and never made his life hard after our children were born. You, my poor love...you did none of that. You were here from the first to the last moment of labour and you immediately took care of your babies without talking to any of your friends. I cannot see how Eilin can fall into any dark period by having such a loving and supportive husband at her side." Dis rejoined thoughtfully.

Thorin's lip twisted with uncertainty.

"Will you forgive me for kicking you out? I didn't know any better and I was wrong." Dis smiled.

Thorin's lips found a sad smile buried somewhere in his crowded feelings. "No harm done gerbil."

She exhaled and looked lovingly at the babies that slept so contently in their father's warm embrace. "Come to think of it you didn't buy drinks for anyone yet in order to celebrate the birth of your children, did you?" She tried a tease that fell empty.

"I will buy Erebor, Dale and Thranduil's Realm all the free drinks they wish, if my baby girl makes it through this." A shadow fell over his countenance when he looked down at Rhianaye.

Dis leaned back and sighed. "Your friends haven't left. They are keeping a silent vigil with you."

He looked up at that. "Do they know about my daughter?"

Dis' lips turned down. "I think they suspect something is wrong. You need to address them at some point."

"Not now...no." He shook his head firmly and averted his eyes. The last thing he wanted was to face them now. All he wanted was to remain with his family, lick the wounds of his wife and protect his children until he felt that they were all safe.

Dis crossed her arms. "Do you want me to take over the babies so you can sleep with our wife for a while?"

Another fierce negation from him. "No...I have them."

Dis observed him silently for several moments before allowing her eyes to close down with inevitable exhaustion.

Thorin managed to stay awake against the constant worry that threatened to shut him down, for a long while.

When Dis fell asleep upright in the armchair, Thorin stayed awake, barely moving in order not to bother the babies who were sleeping quietly. When Durin once more turned restless he took both for feeding and made sure not to wake up Eilin. Rhianaye didn't even wake up, but Thorin placed her on her mother anyway and tried to help her feed. His son once more drunk eagerly and made Thorin's chest fill with pride while he caressed Rhianaye's earlobe or tickled her foot so she could manage a couple of weak gulps before falling asleep again exhausted with her mouth half open. After feeding, he cleaned up both babies and placed Durin in his crib. Then he sat next to Eilin with Rhianaye against his skin and every single one of her rough breaths squeezed all the air out of his lungs. His large hand engulfed her tiny back and he counted internally with her, willing her to keep on breathing, hoping that he wouldn't feel her shivering hard again.

Close to the break of dawn his need to sleep became so dire that he was unable to keep his eyes open and he felt thankful that his sister woke up with a yawn and offered to wear Rhianaye for him. Rather reluctantly he handed Rhianaye over and observed as Dis wore her carefully. When his sister commanded him to get under the covers and sleep, he crossed his arms stubbornly and swore that he wasn't going to do so until Eilin woke up in order to take care of their babies. His intentions were clear and he spoke them from the heart, nevertheless his body betrayed him. When Eilin turned in her sleep and wrapped her arm around his stomach, that was enough to fill him with relief and his eyes closed down. He slid next to his wife, he pulled her in and rested his head on top of hers. Then sleep overtook him quickly.

* * *

He didn't know how long he remained under, but when he woke up the sun was shining brightly from the window straight on his face. He winced bothered and the moment he tried to move he felt a sharp pain coming from his ribs.

"Are you alright my heart?" Eilin leaned down to help him. Her voice sounded well rested and her face looked refreshed, but there was a darkness lingering on her features that he recognised immediately.

He sat up quickly and grabbed his back with a hiss of pain. "Is she alive!?" he cried.

Dis looked up from the fire and encountered her brother's eyes in a silent warning.

"Alive? Who wouldn't be alive?" Eilin tilted her head confused.

His lips parted and he looked quickly at his daughter who was safely tucked in the arms of her mother. He checked quickly at her tiny back and saw it undulating with her breaths. He cupped his forehead. "Nightmare...it was just a bloody nightmare." He muttered.

Eilin smiled. "You shouldn't be having nightmares this morning. You should have been floating in the clouds like I am!"

He forced himself to remove his hand from his eyes and reciprocate the smile to her as best he could. "I am beyond ecstatic my heart, but I need a moment to wake up. Just a moment."

Eilin sat next to him and began rocking Durin's cradle with her foot. "Take as long as you wish. You look absolutely spent. I've seen you go through countless sleepless nights and you still had the energy to go on, yet yesterday was enough to blow you out like a candle, wasn't it?"

His lips curled up.

Dis smiled. "Who can blame him?

Eilin beamed and caressed her daughter's head.

Thorin's lips lost all their mirth as he checked troubled at the beautiful face of his wife. "What are you doing out of bed anyway? Are you even okay to be up this soon after birth?"

Eilin grinned. "I feel very well actually which is surprising, isn't it?" She turned to Dis for confirmation.

Dis pressed her lips. "The Queen is looking spiffy. She had a long, restful sleep and she woke up fully refreshed."

Thorin's arm wrapped around Eilin's waist and he pulled her down to gift her jawline with a gentle kiss. "Aren't you in any pain?"

She shook her head and reciprocated the kiss on his bearded chin. "Just a little sore, but nothing I cannot handle."

He exhaled and leaned his forehead on her cheek. "Thank Mahal."

"I am sorry I yelled at you so much yesterday my love." Eilin whispered and reached out to stipple her fingers through his.

"Yell at me as much as it pleases you...I can take it on." He smiled, but that smile of his had a shadow of worry that he couldn't hide from her.

Eilin sighed and cleared some silver locks away from his troubled brow. "Thank you for being there next to me through all this. I will never forget it."

"Forgive me for not being there at the beginning, Eilin." He gave a stern look at his sister, who cringed regretfully.

Eilin chuckled. "The Princess told me what happened. She asked me forgiveness so many times that I truly feel embarrassed."

Thorin inhaled deeply, feeling comforted by her beloved scent. "How do you feel?"

"Blissful beyond words..." -she muttered and looked down at him- "You?"

"I don't think I own the proper vocabulary to explain my feelings to you right now. They are beyond anything I have ever felt before. In the two hundred years of my life I thought I had experienced every single array of emotions that existed, but I was wrong. What I feel now is unprecedented, borderline primitive."

Eilin pressed him firmly on her bosom and their daughter got gently trapped between their bodies. "I know exactly what you mean my love. I experienced the same emotions when I first felt them move inside my body."

Dis smiled. "A woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant. A man becomes a father when he takes his children in his arms. What you are feeling both is parenthood, the most sacred feeling in the world. You are so blessed to have each other and these precious gifts in your arms. Rejoice..."

Eilin's eyes filled with tears and she kissed the top of his head affectionately. "My biggest blessing is having you by my side..." She whispered.

"As is mine my beloved...I shall never leave your side." His long fingers caressed her head firmly.

Eilin's face brightened with a smile full of love.

"Despite the fact that you might not want me to stay there at some moments." His lips curled down.

Eilin frowned. "Why would I do that?" She asked confused.

"Postpartum mood swings?" Thorin flicked his shoulders with a cringe of confusion.

"Your body has been overworking non stop for nine full moons Eilin and now all it's overload suddenly came crashing down. That might cause you some tears that you won't be able to explain, but if you have such a man next to you I think everything will solve itself rather easily. Now don't go influencing her to the opposite wolf!" Dis warned him.

He exhaled and his hand came around Eilin's who was protecting Rhianaye. "How's the little one?" he whispered.

Eilin's brows came together and a soft shudder run through her body, which he felt. "She can't breathe very well. Didn't Dis tell you?"

Dis gave him a guarded look.

His jawline tensed. "Our Little Gem is not only a princess of the crown, but also a mighty warrior. I am certain she is going to be fine soon." He forced a smile that didn't feel so honest, but nevertheless smoothed down the troubled lines on Eilin's forehead.

"You believe so?"

He frowned. "I am certain of it!"

His wife's eyes filled up with tears as she caressed her daughter's small head carefully. "She's so thin, so wrinkly...she cannot cry properly, haven't you heard her? She cannot even eat properly. She's unable to latch onto me and after a couple of gulps she is totally exhausted."

Dis frowned and came over. "Remember what I told you. Caress her earlobe or tickle her foot in order to gently wake her up and she will continue to feed."

Eilin nodded. "I did it, but she ate too little. Didn't you see her my Lady?"

Dis exhaled. "She ate more during the night when you were asleep."

Eilin turned to Thorin for confirmation. "Is that true?"

He nodded eagerly. "I brought her to you and she fed along with her brother."

Thorin's words gave Eilin some consolation. "She needs more milk. How will she ever be able to grow strong?"

Thorin caressed the soft curls on his wife's head. "Give her time. We'll take it slowly day by day. We will do it together and we will not give up, alright?"

Eilin looked at his eyes and for the first time he saw the shadows of dread dancing in them. "You won't leave me, will you?"

He frowned. "Leave you and go where?"

"To work...you have so many responsibilities I know, but I don't want you to leave while Rhianaye is struggling so much." She sounded broken.

He pulled her in and enfolded her protectively. "I am not going anywhere. I promise."

Dis felt her eyes pooling with tears and walked to the door, needing to allow the couple some precious private moments. "I will be in my room. Call me if you need me alright?"

Eilin looked above Thorin's shoulder sadly. "Thank you so much for everything."

Dis smiled brightly. "I haven't finished helping you yet."

Eilin smiled and snuggled in Thorin's arms. When Dis opened the door Dwalin and Balin were the first who crowded her with questions.

Thorin exhaled and his fingers slid through Eilin's mane caressing her softly as the door closed behind his sister.

"I fear for Rhianaye's life Thorin." Eilin's voice sounded defeated.

He heard the sound of his heart breaking loud in his ears. "She's my daughter Eilin! Never doubt that she will pull through this!"

Eilin relaxed if only fractionally in his arms and he felt it. "You should have seen how much Farin ate and how little his sister managed."

Thorin's eyes fell in the cradle where his son was sleeping, bereft of any troubles and his chest welled. He released Eilin and leaned down to pick him up. He placed him carefully on his shoulder and the little boy clutched his father's tunic and settled down to sleep again. His cheeks were rosy and the colour of his skin healthy and bright.

"How did my little girl manage to stay alive with him in the womb? He is so big, he must have taken up all her space." Eilin looked protectively towards her little girl.

Thorin gazed at his wife and then caressed the soft cheek of his son. "Maybe Rhianaye is still alive exactly because our boy was in there, protecting her and giving her strength. Ever think of that?"

Eilin leaned on Thorin's shoulder and gave her son a doting look. "Maybe he did help his sister." -She sighed and took a few thoughtful moments to speak again, but when she did her lips were curling up in a ghostly smile.- "Oh, but look at him Thorin. Isn't he handsome? He is going to be a ladies man when he grows up, won't he?"

Thorin's lips scrounged testily. "I don't know."

"He is the spitting image of you. Absolutely gorgeous. Every single dwarrowdam in Erebor will be after him, much like it happens with you." Eilin smirked and rubbed her forehead on his bearded jawline.

Thorin's lips cracked a shy smile. "I was hoping for a redheaded baby, to be quite honest. You know I absolutely adore your colours."

Eilin sighed and closed her eyes. "I am glad they both decided to take after their father."

Thorin caressed her cheek gently. "Maybe we can try again."

"What?" Eilin looked up to him.

"You know...another baby. We could try to aim for a ginger princess." He rejoined.

Eilin shook her head with a light hearted laugh. "You want another girl?"

Thorin raised both brows. "Well..." -He looked at Rhianaye adoringly- "Father, daughter, special bond...you know."

Eilin nibbled her bottom lip. "You are insufferable. I went through hell with this pregnancy. I don't even want to think about a new one!"

"Not now...maybe later though..." he pulled her in and swayed with her gently.

"You would like to try for more kids?" Eilin raised her brow.

He leaned down and kissed her lips. "I would like to give you as many children as I can."

Eilin's heart overflowed with her love for him and she reciprocated the tender kiss. When she pulled back she felt her eyes burning with tears again. "Let us go through this trial of Rhianaye's health and we shall see my love."

He felt his stomach dropping and he grasped her hand tightly. "Do you trust me?"

She nodded firmly. "With my life."

"Then I promise I won't let Rhianaye come to any harm. We will fight through this, trust me." He frowned at her with a determination he wasn't truly feeling.

It took Eilin's countenance several moments to unlock, but finally she leaned her head on his shoulder and gave him a soft nod. "I trust you, my love."

Thorin exhaled a whole bout of tension and looked at his son. "You'll help too, right Farin?" The little boy clutched Thorin's tunic hard and stretched on him before settling down again.

Eilin smiled at them. "Farin is such a beautiful name, but why did you give it to him temporarily? I'd like it to be his permanent one. It reminds me so much of your brother Frerin."

Thorin's lips twisted deliberately. "A name holds great power. I believe our son festers inside him great wisdom and strength, which could earn him another name, far more important. He must bear this temporary name until he earns the one I wish to bestow on him, for that name supports a great legacy."

Eilin frowned. "What name is that? You are both scaring and exciting me."

Thorin caressed the soft hair at her temple. "Durin."

Eilin looked up to him and her lips parted, but no words came out.

Thorin gifted her with a sweet smile. "Took you by surprise."

"That name...uhm...Thorin I don't want to be the one to tell you...uhm..." she hesitated.

He felt laughter bubbling in the pit of his stomach despite the circumstances. "Yes?" he drawled.

"Uhm...you see..." She bit her lower lip as she tried to find the proper words to explain.

He had to fight against the urge to laugh. "Yes?" He repeated.

"Not everybody can call their child Durin. That name is bestowed only in the reincarnations of our great forefather." She looked at his eyes carefully, trying to read his reactions.

"Really? Oh damn...I didn't know. There's that then..." He huffed and drew her in for another gentle kiss on her temple.

She pulled back and raised her brow. "Are you joking? You are Durin's heir...how can you not have known?"

His lips twisted in a sly smile.

Eilin exhaled roughly through her nose. "You are teasing me all this time, aren't you? You are letting me look like a fool. Of course you know!"

He tilted his head. "What would I do without your beloved awkwardness?"

Eilin smiled, but remained silent for several moments. When she spoke again her voice was deeply thoughtful. "So you understand that you cannot name our son Durin, right?"

"I haven't gifted our boy with that name yet, have I? I am patiently waiting for the right moment." He raised his brow.

"The right moment for what?" Eilin asked bewildered.

"For him to prove that he deserves it." Thorin rejoined solemnly.

Eilin swallowed heavily. "Do you truly suspect that he might be the reincarnation of Durin?"

It took Thorin several moment to offer her a soft nod. "Quite Possibly."

"Whence from?" Eilin's heart skipped a beat. Could Durin the Deathless be reincarnated from her loins? That was absolutely impossible. The mighty forefather of their kin wouldn't have ever chosen a mere tavern maiden as a mother. Okay...he would have easily chosen someone as legendary as Thorin for a father, but her part in this story didn't belong. No, this was most certainly a mistake.

"Let's just say I have been given several signs that make me a bit suspicious, but we shall have to wait and see my love, okay?" He said patiently.

Eilin shook her head. "Thorin you must be mistaken. Durin wouldn't have ever chosen me as a mother..."

Thorin was unable to hide his irritation. "I chose you as Durin's mother not him and I couldn't have been more proud."

Eilin looked at him intensely for a few moments before deciding. "No Thorin. This isn't possible. My bloodline is stained..."

"I know more about your bloodline that you do my dove, alright? It's not stained, believe me." Thorin rejoined steadily.

Her eyes thinned. "What do you mean?"

"I told you at the treasury that I have answers. You just have to ask the proper questions." He said quietly.

Eilin sighed and averted her eyes. She looked down at her daughter who was sleeping quietly. "I don't think I am ready to know just yet Thorin." Her voice lost all it's fervour.

He gave her a gentle nod. "I won't force the knowledge on you. Nevertheless it's unwise of you to speak with such degrading words about yourself. It truly irritates me beyond reason when you speak of yourself in this manner."

She exhaled softly. "Because you love me."

"Because I know your true worth." Thorin rejoined proudly.

Eilin's eyes burned hot. "I love you too."

He cleared some stray hair away from her neck and his lips gave her soft skin there a gentle kiss.

After a few quiet moments she whispered. "So Farin it is...for now."

"For now and I expect no more objections on that from you my beauty, alright?" He smiled from the croon of her neck.

She nodded delicately. "If Farin is his temporary outer name, what is his inner one?"

"How about Akhthizthi?" He frowned thoughtfully.

"What does it mean?" She murmured.

"A cause to endure..." He spoke with a hushed tone and Eilin felt her heart twitching.

"Him and his sister were both a cause for us to endure. Endure through all these hellish trials that life threw at us." She replied quietly.

He nodded and kissed her cheek. "Or might challenge us with in the future." He corrected her mildly.

"How about Rhianaye?" -Eilin looked protectively at her little girl- "What about her inner name?"

"Imhêd*." -His long fingers caressed the head of his son and his eyes got lost into the flames under the hearth- "...for that is what she is."

Eilin wiped a few tears that sprouted from her eyes. "A blessing I never want to lose Thorin. I don't want her to die..." She muttered feeling broken.

He enclosed her into his chest and shuffled her curls with his nose, longing to take a deep breath of her scent. "She will not, I promise."

They remained like that soothing each other for a long time and it was Eilin's soft voice that alerted Thorin once more. "You know what?"

"What?" his voice was barely heard.

"I just realised that you have never revealed to me your inner name." She said under her breath.

"Only my family knows, for it holds part of my soul with it, or so they say." He rejoined with a gentle smile.

"I'd like to hear it..." Her beautiful green eyes searched for his.

He cupped her jawline and pulled her in until his soft lips could engage with hers for a few precious moments. Then he pulled back and whispered. "A'zaghu**"

Her constricted smile blossomed into a dazzling grin. "They couldn't have chosen better!"

His thumb sailed passed her jawline and tilted her head up gently by the chin. "You must keep it a secret..."

"I will guard it with my life." She whispered.

He kissed her then softly and tenderly until the mewling of their son demanded their attention one more time. Then it was their turn to forget about their need to be with each other and they both showered their children with all the love and tenderness they held in their heart for them.

* * *

Even though Thorin knew he had to face his friends and the rest of Erebor finally, he opted to remain by the side of his wife for the next five days and nights. He talked only briefly with Balin and asked him to tell Dain to take over Erebor temporarily, while he attended to his family. Eilin, him and Dis all took turns wearing little Rhianaye skin to skin, but the one who stayed up next to her the most when Eilin was asleep, was Thorin. He made sure his wife was resting well enough and he always kept a hawk eye on his son while he wore his daughter. The fatigue of the first night retreated during the following days and allowed Thorin's famous endurance to resurface.

Rhianaye was managing to eat a little more with each passing day, but she still had a serious difficulty breathing and that worried Thorin to the point of physical and mental deterioration, but still he kept up a strong facade for his wife. Eilin's first thought when she woke up and the last when she fell to bed was the frail health of their precious little girl and his job was to keep feeding her promises about Rhianaye's quick recovery. Something he did with a clenched jaw as those were promises that he didn't have any real control over.

At the dawn of the sixth day it was Dis who finally decided to push Thorin out of his rooms. Eilin that morning was well rested and she had taken over the children uncomplainingly for the most part. Dis turned to her brother and insisted annoyed that he should take a bath, change clothes and talk with his comrades and his court who were worried sick. When he denied once again she threatened that she wouldn't allow him back in the royal chambers if he didn't pass through the hot springs today.

"Your daughter needs you clean! You are wearing her skin to skin all the bloody time! Have mercy on her poor little nose. The precious little princess hasn't made a fuss about how you smell, but I am sure inside she's ranting about her father's poor hygiene." Dis hurled to him.

Thorin knew she meant it lightheartedly, but Eilin took Dis' words rather heavily. "Let him be my Lady. What is more important? My husband's hygiene or the health of our poor girl. I don't care if he never washes again, I don't want him to leave us!" She snapped and then began weeping softly.

He rushed to her side and enfolded her in his arms firmly, forgetting all about taking a small break and a much needed bath. "Why are you crying now?"

Eilin's hands came under his armpits and pulled him on her almost in despair. "She's not getting any better Thorin...she's not..."

"She's eating more each day and her skin looks much healthier..." He tried to reassure her, but she spoke over him.

"Look at Farin and then look at her. She looks so weak, so thin, so dishevelled." Eilin's tears soaked his tunic.

He closed his eyes against the need to keep it all together for his family. "When I look at her I see only her blinding beauty which is waiting to blossom."

Eilin squeezed her eyes tight. "You are not listening to me! She's not getting any better!" She hollered.

His jawline flexed and he jerked her, trying to pull her out of the rabbit hole that she had fallen in. "She's not getting any worse either!"

She revealed her teeth and inhaled sharply. "That's not enough! It's not enough!" She thwarted his shoulder hard.

He gritted his teeth and enclosed his wife in his arms tightly. Not allowing her to draw away from him. It mattered not that she had hit him, he just needed to keep her close. "Calm down...please..." He begged her.

Eilin stopped resisting him and after a few tense moments her soft weeping turned into an uncontrollable bawl, that was followed by inconsistent drivels as she whimpered on his chest. He looked lost at his sister who gave him a careful nod. "I am going."

He gave her a sharp nod and turn to his wife. "Take it all out my love, I am here." His fingers wrapped on the back of her head and drew her on him firmly. His strong arms enfolded her shaking shoulders and Eilin found the much needed opportunity to empty all her fear about Rhianaye and all her fatigue from her labour onto him. Only then did he partly understand the psychological ups and downs his men had been talking about prior to the birth of his children. Eilin had indeed entered that highly emotional period, which was becoming more intense, because they also had to worry about Rhianaye's poor health.

Thorin held Eilin endlessly kissing and fondling her, until her sobs quietened to mere snivels and only then he felt safe enough to draw back in order to gaze at her bloodshot eyes, her stuffy nose and her red cheeks. He took her by the hand and brought her to the bathroom were he commenced to clean her up. He wiped her nose and spoke words of comfort in her ear about the majestic beauty that was hiding behind their daughter's wrinkled skin and thin hair. He described Rhianaye exactly as he had seen her in the mirror of Galadriel, not even knowing if that was the future of his baby girl, or if death awaited her soon. He had to hold on for his wife, because she was being torn apart in front of his very eyes. He helped Eilin change her clothes and then he wore Rhianaye so his wife could rest. He sat next to her and cradled her patiently through all her ups and downs for a long time. Eilin's puffed up lips cracked the first ghostly smiles when Thorin spoke about how Rhianaye's mesmerising beauty was going to make him slaughter all her suitors before they even attempted to set their foot near his office to ask his permission to woo her.

That evening he built up stoically for Eilin, the most beautiful image he could about Rhianaye. He kept her company as she fed the babies, caressing his daughter's earlobe when he saw her stopping from exhaustion and with the other hand tracing the soft hair on Eilin's nape. Only when he saw Eilin falling asleep totally worn out by the emotional torrent of that day did he remove his children from the bosom of their mother. Then feeling overwhelmed to the point of madness, he sought out his sister and asked her if she would be able to take care of his family for a while. Dis agreed wholeheartedly, but when she asked him what was going on, he dismissed her worry quickly.

"I must respect my poor daughter like you said. I need to take a bath..." He forced a smile on his lips even though his heart didn't feel it.

Dis reciprocated the smile, but hers was honest. "Go wolf. Take a break and don't forget to speak with your men. They worry a lot."

He nodded, but before closing the door he gave another loving look towards his wife and children, but his eyes lingered at the small body of Rhianaye a moment too long.

* * *

Since it was rather late at night he found no one out in the corridors and he did what his sister ordered him to do half heartedly. He took a trip through the hot springs and changed the clothes she had ready for him down there. Not wanting to admit that taking a rather long and warm bath had helped to partially brighten up his darkened soul, he walked quietly through the long corridors and bridges until he opened the door to his office. It was empty, but the fire in it held strong. Dain, or his nephew most probably had cleaned it up and organised his scrolls and books. Thorin sat on his chair and debated hard if he should return to his rooms to assist his wife, but a small voice admitted that he needed a few moments to himself. He couldn't stay in his bedroom anymore, trying to count his daughter's weak breaths until there were no more. He couldn't stay next to Eilin trying to convince her of things he was not sure were true. He didn't want to paint anymore images of Rhianaye that may never become a reality, just to settle down his wife's fears. He wished for a few moments to be alone with his thoughts.

He remained unmovable and silent counting this time his breaths nor Rhianaye's. His eyes became thoughtful as his heart admitted with a diminished voice that he didn't have to act strong for anyone in the confinements of his office. Here he was free to empty all the trepidation that was pulling the threads of his heart apart day after day and night after accursed night. He remained there frowning behind his large hand, half believing that he had no emotions to empty and that all this was a game of his mind, but that thought didn't last long. A sharp cough, that was masking behind it a guttural sob echoed into the office. The sound of his own voice coming to his ears so broken fed his already crowded emotions another drop, which was enough to make them spill out of him like an unstoppable torrent. The more he cried and his palm got drenched in tears, the louder he heard the despair of his voice and the more he heard it, the more he cried. He got trapped into an endless circle of pain that didn't seem willing to stop soon.

Thorin had no choice but to allow himself to empty. He released his steel grip on all those emotions he had kept bottled up as his fragile little girl was struggling to breathe. He didn't know how long he cried alone in his office, thankful that his wife was not there to see his total breakdown, but when his tears finally dried out he felt exhausted beyond belief. He leaned his head on his crossed forearms upon the desk wanting to calm down his erratic breathing, but without even understanding how he got pulled under by a mercifully heavy sleep.

It was long after the break of dawn that his door opened slowly and Balin's head made its appearance. He walked inside carefully and approached the sleeping King. He observed him lovingly for a few moments before his hand landed on Thorin's bicep.

"Laddie?"

Thorin jerked up and inhaled sharply. "What!?" he grumbled feeling confused and out of shorts.

"Why are you sleeping here and not in your rooms?" Balin smiled down at him.

Thorin grabbed his head that was pounding. "Is she alright?"

Balin frowned. "Who?"

Thorin exhaled hard and leaned his head back, feeling his eyes burning once more. Even one thought of his daughter was able to send his mind unravelling. He pressed the heels of his palms upon his eyes, but remained silent.

"You haven't talked to us since the birth of your children. You didn't buy us drinks, you didn't come out to celebrate the birth of the heir to the throne of the North. You did nothing and I cannot help, but wonder why..." Balin said quietly.

Thorin wiped the tears that escaped his eyes and pushed his chair back so hard that it toppled over. He rounded his desk and went to stand in front of the hearth. "I am sorry Balin. I had to stay with Eilin and the babies. They needed me."

Balin nodded. "Of course they did. You are the father of this family, but why didn't you reach out to me or to Dwalin? We've been expecting some words from you impatiently."

"I am sorry...I ...don't know..." He was truly at a loss for words.

Balin walked quietly and stood by his side. "For someone who is going to father the final reincarnation of Durin the Deathless you seem rather distraught."

Thorin swallowed heavily.

"Your eyes are red. Have you been crying laddie?" Balin touched his shoulder gently and Thorin felt like he was going to break into a dozen pieces.

"If I say no will you believe me?" He muttered.

Balin shook his head. "I won't. Tell me please why you look ready to break down..." Balin frowned.

It took Thorin several tense moments to be able to speak. "My girl...my little baby girl...my little Gem..." He whispered and felt all the emotions he thought he emptied at night climbing up his throat with violent disorder.

Balin's hand gripped him tightly. "We suspected that something was wrong with the wee one. What is it my boy?"

Thorin's defeated gaze turned to his friend. "She cannot breathe well. I am afraid Balin..." His voice broke and his tears cascaded down his cheeks and got trapped in his beard.

Balin pulled him into a tight embrace that Thorin was reluctant to reciprocate. "You should have told us earlier. We could have been here for you. You don't have to go through all this alone."

Thorin grabbed Balin's biceps tightly. "I don't want Eilin to understand how bad this is for me."

Balin nodded. "You are doing well for her, but what about you? Don't you need support during this trial too?"

Thorin didn't speak. He drew back and looked at the fire.

Balin gave Thorin the most devoted look. "We are here for you son. Have courage, I beg you."

Thorin leaned his elbows on the mantelpiece and pressed his fists on his temples. "I am trying to convince myself and my wife that Rhianaye is a fighter, but how much of that is true and how much is it wistful thinking?"

Balin pressed his lips tightly. "This girl was born from your mighty blood. She shares the same blood as Durin, do you perchance think that she's going to give up that easily?"

Thorin exhaled hard, but didn't speak.

Balin looked at the fire. "When Dwalin was born, he had a difficulty feeding."

Thorin looked up sharply. "He did?"

Balin crossed his arms and nodded. "The huge intimidating dwarf you see now, was born way too thin, way too short and he ate almost nothing because he was too weak. Mom always feared for his health, but my dad was sure that Dwalin was going to get over this in the end."

Thorin's lips curled up in a faded smile. "Bastard never told me."

Balin flicked his shoulder. "He doesn't want to ruin his menacing image. You see Dwalin was born a little earlier than expected, much like your twins."

Thorin nodded.

"He was getting tired easily as he was feeding and he always fell asleep without managing a good job out of mom's milk." Balin continued.

"Rhianaye is doing the same." Thorin rejoined eager to know more, as a small ray of hope glimmered in the distance for him. If Dwalin was able to overcome this difficulty, then maybe his daughter had a chance also.

Balin inclined his head. "Twins are usually born earlier, so they are bound to be smaller in size and weaker."

Thorin frowned. "Durin isn't. You must see him. That boy is brimming with health and strength. His cry can be heard all over the corridor!" The father said with a proud smile ghosting his pale lips.

Balin laughed. "We've heard him and admired him several times already. He is waking everyone up when he's hungry!"

Thorin's brow slowly clouded. "Then why isn't Rhianaye the same as him?"

Balin pressed his lips. "Apparently your son overtook mom's belly and didn't leave much for his little sister."

Thorin's brows creased. "That was not very nice of him."

The corners of Balin's mouth curled up. "Oh, I see the dynamics of your family forming already."

"What?" Thorin frowned.

"You might be swelling with pride about your son, but you'll go hard on him, won't you? On the other hand little Rhianaye will be daddy's little girl, right?" Balin chuckled.

"If she survives..." Thorin muttered, not really drawn in by Balin's lighthearted comments.

"She will!" Balin pressed his forearm encouragingly. "And you'll end up being like your honourable father, favouring your daughter. Mark my words!"

Thorin's lips curled up in a sad smile. "You think so?"

"Remember how Thrain was always scolding you to take care of your little sister and you complained to us about it?" Balin crossed his arms with a reminiscent smile.

Thorin closed his eyes. "I do."

"You will be just like Thrain, but I must warn you. Don't thrash your boy too hard. Try a more gentle approach towards that ancient and wise spirit." Balin's voice held a tone of warning.

"I will..." Thorin muttered and then frowned down at the fire.

"As for your little girl..."

Thorin closed his eyes and felt his heart skirting.

"I am sure she is going to grow up to become a stunning young lady." Balin continued.

Thorin smiled bitterly.

"I can already see you challenging all her suitors. Now that I come to think of it Rhianaye will be the most unfortunate princess Erebor had ever seen." Balin scrounged his lips.

"Why is that?" Thorin sounded both confused and irritated.

"Who in their right minds would ever challenge the King of the North? Even if it is for the most irresistibly bewitching princess of Middle Earth?" Balin grinned up to him.

Thorin felt as if a warm balm was placed over his bleeding heart and he exhaled. "Thank you for trying Balin...it means a lot."

His friend touched his shoulder and pulled out a pipe from his vest. "Want to share? It's Old Toby."

Thorin huffed and rubbed his forehead. "Go down to the kitchens and open up all the barrels."

Balin lit up his pipe and raised his brow. "Are you buying us drinks for the birth of your two beautiful children?"

Thorin took the pipe and inhaled the smoke deeply, wishing for it to erase permanently his mind's dark dark residues that had been muted by Balin's soothing conversation. "Drinks are free for everyone in Erebor..." he said.

Balin smiled brightly. "There you go laddie! That's the man that Rhianaye and Durin will be proud to have as a father!"

Thorin smiled sadly and after a few moments of recollection he gave Balin back the pipe. "Thank you from the bottom of my heart."

Balin's lips turned down. "You know I would do anything for you laddie. I would even give you my life."

"We have gone a long way you and me, haven't we?" Thorin whispered.

"We have son." Balin agreed gently.

"When I left the Blue Mountains I had only one thought captivating every single morsel of my mind, my heart and my soul." Thorin's voice drew darker.

Balin frowned and closed his eyes. "The Arkenstone."

Thorin's head gave a gentle nod. "To take back the great wealth of our kin and restore it to its rightful owners."

"You did all of that and even more!" Balin gazed at him steadily.

"Now all this means nothing to me..." Thorin whispered.

"What?" Balin whispered taken aback.

"Holding the fate of the seven Kingdoms and the greatest treasure of Middle Earth in my hand means nothing to me, when I have to count the breaths of my daughter. I'd give it all away in a heartbeat if I knew that Rhianaye would live..." Thorin pulled back and his eyes burned through Balin, finally breaking him apart.

Balin's face filled up with tears. "I know laddie...I know..."

Thorin closed his eyes and leaned his pale face at his scarred palm. "No hell I have seen in these two centuries compares to the fear I feel for my children's health now. I would trade everything I have ever lived and fought for...just to know that Rhianaye is going to be alright..." He said quietly.

What answer could Balin give to this profoundly heartfelt declaration of a desperate father?

Only respectful silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -All the suggestions for the inner names are StephCalvino's minus Thorin's inner name.
> 
> * Blessing
> 
> ** Warrior


	72. Silencing the bells

Almost a fortnight went by with Thorin and Eilin standing above their daughter like angels, counting her breaths and measuring the milk she consumed while admiring their blooming son who was growing stronger by the day. No one in the Kingdom got to see the babies as they were still kept safely in the confines of the Royal chambers away from all the prying eyes. Only a few of Thorin's comrades were allowed to visit and even fewer of the Lords. Dwalin, Balin, Oin, Gloin, Dori, and Bofur where the only ones that Thorin allowed close to his children. As for the Lords who carried with them expensive gifts for his daughter and son, only Bjarki, Dain and Durar were allowed to come for a brief visit when the Queen felt like she was going to be able to handle the etiquette that went along with such visits. The rest of Erebor had to patiently wait for Thorin and Eilin to decide to present the royal siblings when they felt ready. Rumours circulated simultaneously about the fragile health of the little girl and the strength of the heir to the throne and the people yearned for some news, but the Royal couple was not ready to present them with any yet. No matter the conflicting information about the Royal twins the very stone walls of this golden city seemed to exhaled in consolation whenever some news were released about the babies.

The care of the children was divided between Eilin and Thorin with Dis, Fili and Lis chiming in whenever they were needed, even thought the young girl was in over her head around the babies. She made sure to remind everyone that she'd protect them with her life, but it was not easy for her to babysit them as she was a little more than a child herself. So young Lis turned out to be a bewildered spectator in the best of cases, or a silent sentinel next to the Royal Guards in the best. Assuming her most serious face and holding her bow and arrows as she stood next to the King's doors until her mother asked her to come over to grab some lunch or get some sleep.

At the break of sixteenth day Thorin was forced to break his isolation as his presence was needed all over Erebor, so he utilised all the help he could get after that day, admitting defeat. When Dis was too tired and Eilin needed to rest after several long sleepless vigils for their daughter, he called on his nephew. Fili was more than willing to take over his cousins and it wasn't few times that Valdis found him trying to calm down both Durin and Rhianaye who couldn't stop crying. The baby girl probably because she was too cold or too hungry and Durin because he was colicky. The baby prince was going through days of fussiness, high-pitched crying that send his parents into a frenzy and he was very difficult to comfort.

Durin's nervousness was making his sister easily very excitable too. When Valdis found Fili in over his head with his cousins she offered her help and they usually ended up each holding a baby in their arms, rocking and bouncing them back and forth until they fell asleep after a long time, leaving Fili's and Valdis' nerves hanging by a thread. Usually Rhianaye was the easiest to calm down. Durin kept on fussing and crying, twisting and turning until usually Fili got exhausted and passed him over to Valdis who proved to be far more patient than him. Then his mother would wake up to take care of the babies and Fili would exhale in relief, admitting to Valdis that he was not yet ready to father a child. This trial was turning out to be much more demanding than he had ever imagined. Whenever he spoke like that Valdis was looking at him with the sweetest and most wistful looks.

At the end of each debilitating day the babies ended up home in the arms of poor sleepless Eilin. The Queen had a real difficulty staying awake during the last few days, after so many nights of enervating insomnia. As for the King, he was torn between the obligations of his rulership and the impending needs of his family. He was desperately trying to balance out everything in expense to his rest also. Even with the help of three extra people, Thorin and Eilin met their match in Durin and Rhianaye who seemed to want to test their parent's limits, both physically and emotionally. Little did Thorin and Eilin know that this was only the beginning of a long struggle where they would sacrifice a large part of their sanity, amongst other things, in order to raise their children. Even less did they imagine that these hardships were common amongst all parents and it was something everyone who bore children had to endure. What gave them courage was that they had each other through these ordeals. At the end of the day they were there to assist and comfort each other and that gave them strength to carry on down the long and bumpy road of parenthood.

This night proved to be rather difficult for Durin's belly aches and for Rhianaye's feeding. During the day Thorin had to take care of the babies mostly alone with a small assistance from his sister when he was required in the army barracks. After that he returned to his office to take care a large order of mithril vests from the Elven realm, before rushing back to his rooms looking totally dishevelled. He took over the children from Dis, as Eilin slept quietly, and looked after them till nightfall with endless patience against their agitated crying. He changed them, bathed them and placed them on their mother's breasts to feed. He assisted Rhianaye by massaging her throat as Loa showed him in order to force her to swallow. Then he placed them in the crib next to each other and covered them up hoping for the best and expecting the worst. When Rhianaye reached out and grasped Durin's small forearm as usual and then settled down to sleep, Thorin exhaled in relief. She always held onto someone before sleeping. Either her mother's or father's finger, or Durin's hand, leg or even tunic. After making sure that the babies were tucked in safely Thorin managed to get into bed totally exhausted. He lay on top of the covers with all his clothes on, cuddled next to his wife and within moments he was snoring away all his fatigue.

He didn't know how long he slept, but what woke him up was the usual high-pitched crying of Durin. He wanted to open up his eyes and force himself out of bed, but for some reason he was unable to do so. It was as if his body had shut down completely. He felt a wave of gratitude when the soft lips of Eilin placed a tender kiss on his temple and she whispered lovingly. "Sleep my love, I have them." That was enough to allow him to forget about everything and be drawn into a deep restful sleep once more, which was not disturbed by the fussiness of the babies.

When he opened his eyes again it was once more dark outside and Durin seemed to be agitated again. His eyes cracked open and he gazed at Eilin who laying next to him with Rhianaye on her breast, trying to feed the little beauty. Rhianaye had her small hands around her mother's breast mauling it and her tiny well formed mouth was trying to latch on Eilin's nipple. Durin was in the crib kicking and twisting his little body as if he wanted to escape the blanket that was tightly wrapped around him. Thorin yawned and drew Eilin on him by the waist until Rhianaye's small back was resting on his forehead. The feeling of wholesomeness he had when his family was in his arms was indescribable. He moved his head up and planted a soft kiss on Rhianaye's back who fussed for a few moments and then settled down to feed again.

"How long did I sleep?" he murmured and his voice sounded hoarse and deeper than usual.

Eilin gifted his forehead with a tender kiss. "All through the night and all through the day."

"What time is it?" he whispered and fought the need to close his eyes and sleep some more.

"It's close to the break of dawn." -Eilin said quietly and cooed Rhianaye- "Come on my love, have a little bit more. Don't sleep on me yet."

Thorin's eye cracked open. "Did she feed well?"

"It was better today. I can see her trying so hard, but when she falls asleep exhausted my heart breaks Thorin, I swear sometimes I cannot take this." Eilin said and Thorin heard the emotional crack in her voice.

He pulled her in and kissed her forearm. "She has battled through the first hard weeks like a trooper. She's going to be fine believe me."

"She still cannot cry and her breathing is a bit stressed at times. Loa says until she cries as loud as her brother we have to be on guard." Eilin's tone betrayed all the worry she felt inside.

"And so we are, but look at the subtle changes in her. She's not so cold anymore, she's getting a bit chubbier and she has gifted us with many looks with those perfect green eyes of hers." Thorin's lips upturned and he caressed Rhianaye's head lovingly.

"You are always trying to give me courage." Eilin whispered and smiled at the doting way that Thorin was caressing their daughter.

"Look at how well she is massaging you in order to coax out your milk..." Thorin admired the brave tries of his wee one to drink more.

Eilin looked at the cradle and winced. "Can you please bring me over Farin? I don't want to stop Rhianaye now that she's managing to feed so well."

Thorin nodded and rubbed his face hard. "Sure." He placed his feet on the floor and only then he realised that he had slept with all his clothes on. He stood up and felt all the muscles in his body tensing painfully, but the moment he stood above his displeased son, the most dazzling smile adorned his face and he forgot about every discomfort. He reached out and picked him up carefully. "Hey little man, what's wrong with you these days...?" he murmured at his boy and caressed the side of his open mouth. The baby kicked and tried to grab his father's huge hand. He looked up with his large blue eyes and tried to focus on Thorin's face, then he squeezed his eyes tight and gave a scream that rattled the nerves of his mother.

"Oh heaven..." -Eilin closed her eyes- "I just fed him."

"He is in pain again." Thorin bounced him gently and caressed his back.

"Bring my little warrior here, I will try to feed him again." Eilin stretched out her hand.

Thorin looked at her pale face and bloodshot eyes. He observed how much weight she had lost and felt his heart bleeding for her. Even though she was at the end of her tether she was clenching her teeth and battling through in order to provide the best for her babies. He came around and gave her Durin. She placed him on her other breast and it was Thorin who assisted his son to latch on. If someone ever told him when he first met Eilin, that one day he wouldn't think of groping her naked breast, but he'd try to assist his child to feed from it, he would have dismissed them as crazy. He pulled Eilin in his arms until her head rested on his shoulder and caressed her long hair gently as his children fed from her. No matter how tired he or she was, those were the very moments he wouldn't have changed for anything else in the whole world. It was when he earned a new found respect for every new mother's struggle. It was when he realised how much support every mother needed from her husband in order to raise her children.

It was rather eerie that the same exact thoughts were passing from Eilin's mind. She was thinking how Thorin was turning out to be an amazing father. How nobly he was trying to balance his very demanding job and his family without acting grumpy. She couldn't stop thinking how lucky she was to have him by her side and how unlucky her mother had been not to have Eilin's father by her side at all, probably not even in birth. Those were the thoughts that overtook her mind as her children were feeding and she expressed them quietly as Thorin's lips coasted past her temple several times with gentle kisses. "I am so lucky."

He sighed. "About what?"

"To have my precious babies in my arms and you supporting me so uncomplainingly." She whispered and closed her eyes.

He pulled her in firmly. "There was never a question about that. I was destined to remain next to you from the moment I laid my eyes on you."

She nodded. "That is what I mean Thorin. Not every man supports his wife with such devotion as you. You choose to sacrifice your rest so I can gain mine. Do you understand how important that is for me? Especially when I know that not everybody can be the King of the North. It's not that you just landed a job in order to support us. You are ruling seven kingdoms and you are still trying to give our family your best. I don't know how long you will last, working at this rate though."

He huffed. "Forever, don't doubt that."

She sighed deeply. "See? That is is what I am saying. Listen to you."

His brow wrinkled with confusion. "I cannot fathom a father not caring about his wife and his children and that doesn't depend on one's profession."

"Well you grew up in a very tightly knit family. How can you imagine what I am thinking." She rejoined.

"Tightly knit families still have skeletons in their closets my beloved." He said quietly.

She shook her head. "I cannot deny that, still..." she exhaled and entwined her fingers between his.

"Still what?" he frowned and kissed the hairline on the forehead.

"Your father was always there for your family. You cannot deny that, no matter your personal hell with him." A deep shade of melancholy tainted her voice.

"Truth is he did what he could for us, the best way he knew how." Thorin felt his eyes burning on remembering the torn piece of Thrain's clothing he had kept like treasure in his locked drawer along with Eilin's baby belt.

She closed her eyes. "Therefore you cannot understand what I am saying about useless fathers who abandoned their families."

"You are right, I cannot." He said gently.

She humphed. "Well, I can."

His large hand caressed her and he remained patiently silent.

"My father." She spat vehemently.

He lifted up her hand and kissed it affectionately. "I think you should bygones be bygones."

She shook her head and her free hand caressed Durin's feet. The baby boy lifted his head up and turned it the other way when he finished drinking from his mother. That was an achievement the proud parent shared with the kingdom, as he was too young to have such good control of his muscles yet. "How can I let it be bygones Thorin when I have you reminding me what a father should really be like?"

He closed his eyes and kissed her cheek lovingly. "Should I try to downgrade myself then?"

She huffed and felt her eyes burning. "Don't even dare joke about this, please."

"It was a silly little tease, but I won't deny that I am confused. I don't understand what you want me to do." He said calmly and caressed her cheek.

She snuggled at the croon of his neck. "I don't want you to do the same thing my father did."

"Abandon you?" he frowned.

She nodded silently.

"I'd never leave you alone. I told you before and I shall tell you again no matter how many times you ask me. I know this is your worst fear, but it won't happen with us, I promise my dove." He reassured her with a gentle tone that soothed her heart.

Eilin didn't speak for a long time. Her hand caressed the sleeping Durin who was exhaling soft moans of pain and Rhianaye who was trying to settle down between the bodies of her father and mother. She was opening and closing her eyes, not readily deciding what she wanted to do, even though she had eaten better than any other time before. She grabbed hold of her mother's tunic and her other hand searched for her brother. When she found his wrist she clutched her small fingers around it and then settled down. Eilin smiled down sweetly at her babies. "Look at them."

Thorin nodded. "They are unspeakably beautiful and utterly exhausting."

Eilin smiled, but also felt her tears releasing and she reached up to cup Thorin's cheek. Then she drew him down and her lips skimmed across his a couple of times before opening up to gift him with a tender kiss that related all the love she felt in her heart for him. He reciprocated and one arm came behind Eilin's torso, protectively pulling her and the babies close to his chest, while the other tunnelled sensually through her hair. Then he kissed her, long and slow and tenderly. When she pulled back he was looking mesmerised at her lips. "Missed you like hell." He whispered.

She reached up and caressed the side of his mouth. "Me too...you have no idea."

He smiled at her and his finger planed down her cheek to her jawline before lingering on her chin. Then Durin moaned softly and both parents looked down at him worriedly. Eilin caressed his rosy cheek and rearranged his full set of curly black hair. It took her several moments to speak, but when she did her words took Thorin by surprise. "Remember what you told me after our wedding, at the treasury?"

He raised his brow.

"If I asked the proper questions, you'd provide me with the proper answers?" He saw the lost pain in Eilin's eyes and his heart skirted.

"I remember." He nodded.

"That offer wasn't about the broken sword, it was about my father, right?" she asked nervously.

"It was about the broken sword and the family to which it belongs..." he rejoined quietly.

"Which family is that Thorin?" she pulled back and looked at his beautiful eyes.

"Your family my beloved." -He caressed her chin tenderly. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips tightly. He felt the shudder of apprehension running through her body and enfolded her close to him protectively- "You don't have to ask about that now. I can see how much this affects you. You are too fatigued from the babies and your mind is playing tricks on you. Maybe we can discuss this at a better time." He offered.

"Will you answer to me now if I ask the right questions?" She nibbled her bottom lip.

He swallowed heavily. "If you feel ready of course I will, but I would advice against it."

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. It took her more than several moments to speak this time and Thorin didn't stop caressing her face with one hand and the feet of Rhianaye with the other. Waiting patiently for her to express all her worries to him. "Do you know who my father is?" When her eyes opened up they were overtaken by determination.

The decisiveness he saw in them convinced him that she truly wished to learn. For better or for worse it was not his place to decide if he could offer her the truth or not. This was Eilin's history, her closure with the past, not his knowledge to keep under locks. He pressed his lips and looked down at her solemnly. He cupped her cheek and spoke as soothingly as he could about a matter that ached her so much. "Lord Óthin of the Firebeard clan, direct descendant of Lord Telchar one of the most famous blacksmiths of Middle Earth. Your forefather created the legendary sword, which was in the ownership of Lord Elrond and now belongs to Erebor's treasure vaults."

"You asked for it?" she touched his bearded cheek gently and her eyes pooled with tears.

He gave her a gentle nod. "I wanted the heirloom of your family in my possession. I wanted to present it to you whenever you felt ready to hear the truth."

She closed her eyes and several tears run down her cheeks. "Óthin..." she muttered.

Thorin rested his chin on the top of her head and then inhaled deeply her scent. He closed his eyes and his long fingers caressed the back of her head soothingly.

She spoke after a long silence that he didn't dare disturb. "What do you know about him?"

He rubbed his bearded cheek on her curly hair and spoke in a hushed tone. "He was a fierce warrior who partook in many battles. He never married and never settled down in any of the major dwarven cities, but whenever his skills were needed he was there to fight courageously next to his rulers for the freedom of his kin. He was proud, vociferous, crass and crude, but loyal to the bone. A friend of alcohol and beautiful women. He had your amazing red hair and your beautiful green eyes." He felt Eilin's tears cascading down the back of his hand and his heart broke for her.

"He gave me something of his legacy then...his colours..." she humphed and he heard the bitterness in her tone.

"I think he may have also given you his courageous and brave nature..." he said quietly.

She closed her eyes and looked at her children. "If he was courageous he would have remained next to my mother."

Thorin pressed his lips. "You cannot know what happened Eilin. Maybe it was your mother who denied him the opportunity, ever thought of that? We don't know their history, we can only suppose and that is hardly fair to your parents. What we do know is that he remained close enough to see your birth and give you this baby belt that had his ancient runes carved on it. After that who knows what happened and what made your parents break up. For our kin it is rare, nay impossible for a Dwarf to separate from the woman he loves. So maybe your mother didn't want to settle down, or maybe your father didn't love her." -He exhaled frustrated- "See? This is why I hate supposition. You can have so many possibilities and if you don't know the facts every single one of them might be false."

Eilin wiped her tears with the back of her hand and sniffled, but the tone of her voice tried to sound brave. "You said he never married."

"As far as I know." He said quietly.

"Did you know him well?" Eilin tried to find his eyes.

"Unfortunately no. Balin knew him a little better. He told me that Lord Óthin didn't want to settle down either in a home or with a woman. He loved going to human taverns and subsequently get lost in them for several months at a time. Was he the exception to the rule of our kin about having a One? I cannot know. Did he love women so much that he wanted to have fun with as many as possible? It could be...I really cannot tell. I am just supposing again." Thorin said carefully, not wanting to hurt Eilin's feelings more.

She pulled back and frowned up at him. "You fraternised with him at all?"

Thorin's lips turned down and his long fingers cleared some long tendrils from her face. "No my love, but I've fought next to him in the battle of Moria. He was one of the butchers of Azanulbizar. He laid our foes to waste and he fought bravely, but I didn't know him personally. He partook in a couple of meetings before that battle and I saw him protecting my grandfather in the heat of battle. I knew few things about him, apart from his indisputable bravery and loyalty. I have even less memories of him, as those moments are very foggy for me."

Eilin's eyes filled with sadness. Her forefinger searched his mouth and touched his bottom lip gently. "You've fought next to my father..."

Thorin felt his heart clenching and swallowed heavily.

Eilin's eyes remained frozen in time before they closed up. She leaned her head back and tears rolled down her cheeks. "He never try to look for me...or maybe he did. How can I ever know? He gave me that baby belt. That means that he wanted me to know someday that I was his, right?" she asked with a hushed, but totally crushed tone.

He nodded. "That is what I believe."

She gripped him hard. "Do you know if he is dead or alive?"

Thorin shook his head regretfully. "No my love. He never made a reappearance in any major Dwarven city after the battle of Moria, but I can check on the records of the seven Kingdoms just to be sure if you want me."

Eilin's eyes got lost into the fire for several tense, but silent moments. Then she squeezed his forearm firmly. "I don't know if what I learned offered me a closure or opened up a whole array of wounds that are now unable to heal."

He kissed her head gently. "Both?"

She closed her eyes tight, needing to lock the pain away. "Being unaware of my parent's identity was a nightmare that I knew how to handle. Learning that my father might still be alive out there, yet he made no try to see me is another kind of hell, which is difficult to endure."

"I know my beloved." He whispered.

It took her a long time to respond to him as she was trying to settle down the pain from her bruised feelings. "How about my mother?"

He pressed his lips regretfully. "Unfortunately I have no way of knowing."

She snuggled against him and closed her eyes again.

"The only thing left of your family is that baby belt, Balin's memories of Lord Óthin's bravery and the Narsil. I hope I could give you more information about your family. I wish I had all the answers in order to offer you the closure you deserve. I long to answer why your parents didn't end up together and why you were given away. Still I have no way of knowing why your father gave you a baby belt with his initials if he never intended to make his presence known at some point. There are so many questions left unanswered and we cannot get a closure as long as I cannot answer the most important of them all. Is he still alive and can I find him? I don't know if digging up your past was the best course of action for you. I didn't give you enough answers and thusly I created another kind of hell for you. Forgive me" He said regretfully.

She sighed and pulled him over to plant a soft kiss at the side of his mouth. "I know you did the best you could for me. Besides...it was me who asked the questions in the end, right? You told me you had some answers, but I could have avoided these questions."

His lips turned down and he cradled her gently. "My Eilin..." He left all his thoughts unsaid.

"I like to believe that I have allowed this nightmare to remain in the past, but I am lying to myself." Her voice was bitter.

He remained tensely silent, holding her and his children close to his heart.

Eilin gritted her teeth. It took her several moments to speak again. "You fought next to my father..."

He shook his head and glared down at her. "And it something that doesn't make me feel very well either, I admit."

"I suppose you were shocked when you found out?" she searched his eyes.

"Immensely." He admitted.

She snuggled close to his chest and placed a careful kiss on his neck. "Thank you for doing all this for me."

"Are you thanking me for creating this new nightmare for you?" He frowned.

"I am thanking you for restoring my family's heirloom and letting me know a few things about my father. It will take me a long time to settle down with the idea that he may still be alive out there, but these angels will help me through this." -She looked lovingly down at their children and in an afterthought she pulled him down to kiss his cheek firmly- "And you...you help me above all."

He enfolded her in his huge frame and closed his eyes. "At the end of the day you are the sole master of your fate. You must not depending on others to rule your life anymore. No one is responsible for your happiness or your misery. Not your parents who abandoned you, willingly or not, nor the ones who adopted you in that tavern or all the drunkards that touched your skin and tainted it. Your fate now lays in your own two hands, but I promise that I will always be here for you. Should the sun not dawn again, should this world come to an end, remember. I'll be here for you."*

She cried then long and painfully. She emptied all her anguish in his embrace, feeling secure that she had his solid presence supporting her through all her past trauma, but also through her future trials with their children. Thorin had placed a balm over her bleeding heart when he spoke to her such precious words of devotion. Even though her father abandoned her, the father of her children was never going to do the same and she felt blessed. As he was holding her, her emotional and physical fatigue got the best of her and she was beginning to doze off with the babies in her arms, when out of the blue Durin reached out and grabbed his sister's leg so hard that the poor girl coughed and then released a high-pitched cry that drilled holes into the ears of her parents.

Thorin inhaled sharply and drew back shocked. He placed his large hand and covered all of Rhianaye's back. "What's wrong with her?" He frowned.

Eilin pulled her daughter up and looked at her red screaming face. "Thorin she's crying!"

He shook his head in momentary confusion. She was crying indeed, but her cry was different somehow...his mind though just couldn't put a finger on that difference.

Eilin's eyes seemed to have ignited. "Thorin she's crying!"

"I know..." he muttered, still confused.

Eilin pulled her daughter on her shoulder and grabbed Thorin's forearm hard trying to wake him up from his self inflicted stupor. "She's screaming as loud as Farin!" she exclaimed.

That is when the shock retreated and the realisation fell on Thorin like a ton of bricks. He sprang to his feet and run for the door. He threw it open and dashed down the corridor to his sister's room. He almost kicked her door down, pulled her out of bed and dragged her back to the Royal chambers.

Dis came in rubbing her face, clearly struggling to wake up. "What the hell has gotten into you wolf?" she croaked.

Thorin grasped Dis' face and turned it to Eilin who held the babies. "Listen!" He commanded.

"Farin's making a racket again..." Dis yawned.

Eilin shook her head and pulled up Rhianaye who coughed and then released a wail that was loud enough to wake up the whole corridor.

Dis cracked her eyes open and blinked lost.

"It's not Farin...it's Rhianaye!" Thorin shook his sister hard from the bicep to wake her up.

"What?!" Dis stumbled to the bed and leaned close to check on Rhianaye.

Thorin loomed above his sister eager to see what she was doing to his wee one. Dis lay the baby down in bed and began checking on her. She placed her ear on the baby's chest and made a sign for them to remain silent. Then she place Rhianaye in prone position and leaned down to listen to her back. When Rhianaye started settling down, Dis patted her back gently with her finger and the wee one began screaming again demandingly. She turned the baby around and looked at her teary green eyes and her red angry face.

Slowly a warm uncertain smile formed on her lips. Her fingers wrapped behind the baby's head and she picked her up gently and placed her on her shoulder, bouncing her. "Come on little princess, everything is fine..."

Thorin hovered over his sister like a hawk, ready to get the child, but Dis didn't allow him. She gave the baby girl to her mother, who tried to balance Rhianaye next to Durin.

"I think our little gem has cleared up..." Dis reached out to clear some hair away from the tired face of her sister in law.

Eilin beamed up to Dis. "That is what I thought...her crying sounded so different."

"Cleared up?" Thorin felt confused to no end.

None of the women paid him any attention.

"I listened to her airways and they seem as crystal clear as Farin's. What happened?" Dis said and caressed the back of baby boy who was moaning and groaning fussily.

"I don't know, I was about to sleep and suddenly she screamed bloody murder!" The smile of absolute bliss never left Eilin's mouth.

Dis reciprocated. "I want Loa to hear Rhianaye also, but I will reluctantly say that your precious baby girl has won this battle."

Eilin closed her eyes. Suddenly rivers of tears gushed down her face and strong trembles overtook her body. "I knew it...I understood what happened from the moment I heard that shrieking cry! Thank the great Mahal, thank Eru...thank the heavens for having pity on us...for not taking our little girl away from us..."

Thorin sat next to Eilin and immediately his wife grasped him like a barnacle balancing the babies between them. "Did you hear my heart? Our little Gem is going to be okay! She is out of danger..." She whispered and clutched her babies a little too tight for comfort.

Thorin's jawline flexed as he tried desperately to push down all that emotional outburst that he had been hiding behind his always calm and calculated demeanour. He didn't trust himself to speak so he rested his huge palm above the small body of his daughter, longing to feel the vibrations of that sturdy crying settling all his fears down.

Dis grinned at the overemotional parents. "May Mahal bless this beautiful little girl with perpetual health."

Thorin coughed as a suppressed sob climbed up his throat with angry intentions, but gritted his teeth as Eilin was looking at him with baited breath. He forced himself to smile at her.

Eilin's face brightened instantly in response. "Did you hear my love?! She is going to be fine!"

He caressed her temple lovingly as his measured exterior betrayed nothing of the emotional surge that was taking place inside. "I heard alright."

Eilin frowned confused for a few moments. "That's it? You look so unsurprised, so calm..." Eilin muttered and Dis gave her brother a guarded smile.

Thorin grinned at his wife. "I always knew my girl was going to pull through. I never had a doubt, why should this outcome surprise me?" He raised his brow.

A wave of relief washed over Eilin. "I should have listened to you my love. You were so right to trust in her."

Thorin enfolded his wife close to his heart, until he felt her body calming down. When Eilin gave Farin to Dis in order to put Rhianaye on her breast, he admired secretly how his daughter, who used to have a great difficulty latching on, now grabbed Eilin's nipple and absolutely devoured it. He looked eagerly at her tiny fists as they mauled Eilin's skin and how she began gulping down hungrily. The look of tranquility that captivated Eilin's features was enough to twist his heart out of shape and suddenly the royal chambers were not large enough to contain his crowded emotions. He stood up sharply.

Eilin looked up with a troubled frown. "Where are you going?"

He pointed at the door. "I'll be back in a moment, don't worry." His voice was so soothing and untroubled that Eilin's face instantly calmed down.

"Alright my love." She gifted him with a sweet smile and her attention returned once more to her hungry daughter.

Thorin's countenance maintained it's calmness until the door closed behind him. Then everything came crashing down violently. The torrent of emotions hiding behind his controlled countenance now that he knew his daughter was blessedly out of danger was too difficult to stop. He reached out and grabbed the wall for support, then a low groan of pain exploded from his chest. His legs gave way and he sat on his heels allowing his body to empty on the corridor defeated.

Thorin cried hard for all those sleepless nights that he had been counting the breaths of his daughter, not caring that his royal guards were exchanging worried looks for him. He mourned for all those secret prayers he made to the Gods, careful that Eilin wouldn't hear him and for all those nightmarish moments where he woke up certain that Rhianaye had passed away while he was asleep, not giving him the chance to kiss her goodbye. He cried for her bluish skin and her wrinkly skin. For how thin she had been and how unable to keep her eyes open no matter how much he tried to get her attention with his enchanting singing. He cried for the endless times his heart broke apart when he saw Rhianaye unable to feed. He released all the anguish he had felt whenever she fell asleep with her small mouth open releasing shallow difficult breaths, unfed and weak. He cried for all the times he imagined burying his Little Gem down at the vaults in a small marble tomb next to Kili's. He almost lost it completely when he imagined himself taking Rhianaye's old flowers and planting them in a pot with the hope that one day they would bloom.

And now...

...now Rhianaye was screaming with fury against the grip of death, sending the grim reaper running away. Much like her father had done when his men brought him back kicking and screaming from Ravenhill. His wee one showed that she had Thorin's inner strength running in her blood as she fought bravely for her life. That she was here to stay and not only that...she was here to demand a good part of her parent's attention away from her mighty brother. That thought alone was enough to undo every single seam in Thorin's soul and his emotions spilled out of him in uncontrollable waves of solace and happiness. He didn't know how long he remained there crying, when a soft hand landed on his shoulder and made him look up.

Dis was gazing at him with tears in her eyes. "You didn't want Eilin to see you break down..." she stated.

He shook his head and cupped his mouth.

Dis kneeled down in front of him and grasped his knees affectionately. "Your daughter battled through this like a true warrior. She's going to be fine...rejoice my heart." She whispered at him.

His trembling lips parted and his eyes filled with fresh tears.

She reached out to pull him in gently, but he took her by surprise when he engulfed her fiercely. He grabbed onto her as if she was his life line and buried his head on her shoulder. Usually it was Thorin that always held Dis through her breakdowns, so for her these shifting roles betrayed how much all this had affected her always composed brother. Dis held him firmly, until the shaking of his body began calming down. Only when his rattling breaths on her neck became softer and quieter did she allow her body to relax slightly. Before drawing away from her, he placed a warm kiss on her cheek.

"Thank you." His voice was abused.

Dis cleared several wet black strands of hair away from his face and smiled. "Your nose is stuffy, your eyes bloodshot and your face is red. She's going to know that you have been crying your eyes out."

Thorin wiped his cheeks away with the back of his head. "I won't go in, until she's asleep. Can you check?"

Dis scrounged her lips. "Stay here."

Thorin nodded and as Dis went into his rooms he rubbed his face, trying to shed away this deterioration and regain his famous control. A control that his daughter easily threw out the window. Something he was sure Durin would be able to do with the same uncanny ability if he ever tried. If there was someone who could make him loose the earth from right under his feet, those were his children. He vaguely wondered if Thrain had ever felt like this for him and his siblings when his sister opened up the door and beckoned him inside. He sneaked a look at his snoring wife, who had a cosily sleeping Rhianaye in her arms. Durin was fussing in his cradle.

Thorin tiptoed and stood above his son. His sister rounded the bed and took Rhianaye carefully from Eilin's tired arms. She placed the baby on her shoulder and held the back of her head protectively. "The little one ate a lot wolf. So much that I had to change her twice. Come listen to how well she's breathing." Dis beckoned him close.

Thorin leaned his head on the back of his daughter and closed his eyes. He lingered above her for what seemed like forever, forgetting of everything else as he admired how silent and clear her breathing was. Not once, not twice, but many times over did he sigh deeply along his daughter and he wasn't in a hurry to pull away. He was just considering how feasible it was for him to sleep with his head on his daughter's back tonight, when Durin crushed that dream for him. Thorin looked down at his fussy son and walked over to take him.

"Did you enjoy the silence of her breathing?" Dis grinned with satisfaction. All the fatigue was erased from her face now.

Thorin picked up his son and placed him on his shoulder. He looked down at Dis with tears in his eyes. "If this is what it feels like to agonise over the health of your child, I don't know if Mahal blessed me with fatherhood, or cursed me." He said feeling humbled by that monumental experience.

Dis gave him the sweetest smile and walked around to place Rhianaye in the cradle. "He blessed you wolf...never doubt that."

Thorin kissed his boy's head gently. "Thank you for being here gerbil."

Dis smiled sweetly at him. "You cannot imagine how relieved I am here to help with your children, instead of agonising over another deadly wound on your body."

He snorted and buried his nose on his son's neck, delighting at his amazing scent. He suddenly wished to engulf the poor child in him, as a strong wave of protectiveness rushed over him, making his body break out in goosebumps and he had to force himself not to squeeze poor Durin to suffocation. "It almost feels like my heart is going to explode." He whispered.

Dis' eyes burned when she looked down at the cradle where the baby girl was sleeping peacefully. "Your heart belongs to your children now. It has left your body forever wolf and now it is next to your children. It is going to march proudly next to your son during his first battle, and it will raise the sword with him. It is going to stand next to your daughter when she receives her first kiss and skirt for her. It will experience everything for them, more fiercely than you will ever expect. May Mahal never curse you to live through the death of your children...for then part of your heart, if not all of it, will die with them."

Thorin closed his eyes and buried his nose next to Durin's ear, inhaling deeply. "May Mahal bless me to die before my children. Only now I understand what Thrain went through when Frerin died..." -he paused and looked at Dis intensely- "What you have been through."

Dis smiled bitterly at her brother and then caressed Rhianaye's soft black curly hair. "Your mind will implode just at the prospect of thinking of such a tragedy, never mind experiencing something so awful. Don't do this to yourself please."

Two tears run down Thorin's nose and he looked at her steadily. "I love you."

Dis wiped her tears away and waved him off. "I know you do and I always loved you since I was born. Even when I was punching and kicking you away from me."

Thorin closed his eyes. "I know gerbil."

Durin who had been groaning and moaning up till then suddenly erupted into a full blow cry. His small hands grabbed fistfuls of his father's tunic as if he wanted to relate somehow the pain he was experiencing in his belly now that his dad was there holding him. Dis looked up from the cradle with a frown. "Your poor wife is totally exhausted and Rhianaye needs some sleep too. Farin ate well and I changed him. He's colicky again. Take him out to calm him down."

Thorin frowned. "Where should I take him?"

Dis waved her hands nervously. "I don't know...walk him around the stronghold, just don't let him wake everyone up in here!"

Thorin looked at his daughter and then quickly picked up the black sling his sister had made him which bore the Longbeard sigil on it's hem in golden runes. Then he rushed out of the room and closed the door behind him. He stood outside for a moment bewildered as Durin began a high-pitched crying that echoed in the corridor and was sure to wake up everyone soon. Thorin gazed at the guards for a few confused moments and gave the sling to one of them. "Hold this!" He commanded.

The guard changed hands for his axe and held the sling like a treasure until Thorin placed the boy on his chest. Then he took the sling from the guard and wore it around his shoulder. He tied a knot at the side of his waist and then dashed quickly away from his rooms in order to allow Eilin and Rhianaye some well deserved sleep.

He didn't know for how long he had been walking around, breaking through the silence of his ancient stronghold by the loud pitched crying of his boy, but he didn't see many commoners. Those who did see him from afar, bowed at the King and the prince of Erebor, feeling in awe that they were the first ones who got a glimpse of the mighty heir to the throne of the North. Thorin ended up in the King's Hall were for as long time he went around in circles, bouncing Durin under the heavy curtains that still bore Smaug's claw mark in order to soothe him down. Then he decided to go out to the grant antechamber and ordered the guards to open the doors so some fresh air could cool down his boy, but it was to no avail. He walked back to the Royal antechambers with the statues of his forefathers and the golden floor he stained when he melted Thror's statue and tried to show Durin his reflection, but the boy cried even louder than before. He walked up to the throne room and pointed at the Arkenstone asking Durin if he wanted to play with it, but the baby boy could barely see his own father through his blurry vision, never mind the King's Gem. Finally Thorin gave up and decided to take Durin to the top most rampart in order to keep the echoes of his crying as far away from the enclosure of his kingdom as possible. He stood up there, looking at the darkness of the sky and feeling the soft breeze blowing his wavy mane away from his face. He never stopped bouncing, cooing or singing softly at Durin who seemed inconsolable. Just when Thorin's nerves were beginning to twitch by his inability to calm down his son, Roac landed on the bastions and cawed in salutation to the prince. The moment Roac's majestic caw echoed in the valley, Durin's purple face stopped it's agonising screams and looked around with his huge blue eyes searching for the source of that sound.

Thorin's brows raised eagerly and his lips parted. "Do it again." He asked Roac and the crow cawed once more, making Durin giggle.

Thorin smiled widely. "You are saving my life right now. Call on him again." He looked at his old friend and moved Durin so he could look at the impressive black bird.

Roac began hoping left and right on the bastions. Whenever he heard that Durin was about to break into a cry again he cawed and the boy stopped and giggled. So Roac played around the boy for a long time and as his father bounced him and the shadow of that black bird made him smile and forget his pain, slowly Durin's eyes closed down. Soon enough he was sleeping safely in his father's arms. Thorin looked at Roac with a wistful smile. "My mother used to take me to the forges to calm me down. I'm going to bring Durin over to you so you can do the same for him. Thank you my friend."

Roac released another caw that echoed majestically at the dark valley beneath and then settled down next to the King of the North, keeping him silent company. Thorin remained in the top rampart holding his son as he slept calmly until dawn started to break and he didn't dare make a single move that would end up waking him up again. He preferred to feel all his extremities numbing down than disturb Durin's peaceful rest. That is when suddenly the massive golden bells chimed the calling of the day straight behind Thorin's balcony and the King jerked visibly shaken.

He gazed apprehensively down at his son who moved annoyed. Thorin turned to the guards who stood at the flanks of his balcony. "Go and tell the bell master to stop it right now! If he wakes up the prince I am going to shave his beard and cut off all his warrior braids!" He barked angrily. One would have thought that Thorin's thundering voice would have woken Durin up, but instead the boy grabbed a fistful of Thorin's tunic and settled down to a deep sleep again, comforted by his father's familiar rich tone.

The guards presented arms, causing a racket of their own and Thorin's voice hissed. "Don't do that! Keep it down for heaven's sake!" -He chastised his soldiers who froze in pure terror. Thorin exhaled angrily through his nose- "Did I tell you to present arms?"

The guards looked each other in dread and shook their heads.

"What did I tell you to do?" Thorin's voice was crawling with suppressed fury.

One of the guards replied nervously. "To tell the bell master to silence the bells?"

"What are you still doing here then, pissing me off?!" Thorin snapped, but Durin remained unaffected.

One of the guard presented arms silently and the other rushed down the stairs to do the King's bidding.

Thorin bellowed after him. "If I hear any trumpets or bells until further command I will shave off the whole army, not just the bell master!" His deep voice resonated through the tall cavern and the guard next to him quivered in his boots. Durin on the other hand was snoring with his mouth half open. Thorin's large palm covered his son's back protectively and then he returned to his beloved balcony overlooking his vast lands with Roac by his side. A soft smile dawned on his mouth now that he knew that no one was going to disturb the sleep of his children.

That is how the bells of Erebor silenced for the first time since Thorin Oakenshield reclaimed his homeland...or better yet since the legendary King of the North became a father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Borrowed a few words from (Elysion-the promise.)
> 
> -I have finished the story behind the scenes, so expect the uploads to be more often until I manage to bring to you the remaining five chapters. For those who made it this far, enjoy what is left of this for it is not much *.*


	73. Durin's Folk (Eight years later)

_Eight beautiful years have passed since I silenced the golden bells of Erebor for the sake of my children. Eight years where I experienced the utter bliss, but also the utter frustration of fatherhood. Eight long years where at days I felt on top of the world and in control of everything, and other days I felt like my marriage was slipping out of my hands and that I was the most useless father that has ever walked Middle Earth. Eight years of experiencing exactly what every parent had ever experienced up till then, or will experience henceforth that would change the core of their beliefs about is was right or not, expected or not, needed or not. Eight years where I questioned myself if bringing these children to this world had ever been a good idea, since they have to deal with the whole bruised part of me. Years where I tried to convince myself that I knew what I was doing, when in reality I had no idea what was happening. I laugh now in retrospect when years ago my self assurance was over the roof. When I thought that I was more than ready to become a father. What a load of bollocks...little did I know about the true sacrifices a father has to make for his family. Yeah, sure I raised my siblings and my nephews, but nothing...nothing compared to having full responsibility of my own family, not even ruling the Seven Kingdoms._

_At those early days of sleeplessness, I was utterly frustrated at my inability to calm down my children. I thought I was completely useless. During those days my arguments with Eilin at moments became so intense that I felt that she was evaporating away from me slowly, but surely. I thought that one day I'd wake up to find her decided to abandon me because all these hardships and demands that parenthood was asking out of us, were too much. It was not just me and her anymore, but two souls depending on us for everything and I was afraid we were going to lose each other in that vortex. I didn't trust in our relationship enough and that was one of my biggest mistakes, because our bond turned out to be stronger than anything that life was ready to throw at us. No matter my own insecurities she stood by my side during the worst days and I stood by hers against the destructing surge flow of our mutual fatigue. Our love grew stronger than ever after each endless brawl and exhausted defeat. In the end we stood together against all the adversities._

_I suppose that is what my father meant when he told me: "You'll understand how the demands of parenthood can overwhelm you one day son...when you have your own children." It was an advice I never truly took at heart since I believed that I was unable to have children. I smile now while I look at Thror's beloved Arkenstone and I know that I had been too blind to understand back then what my father meant. Only when you become a parent, can you understand where your own parents were coming from. I speak now as if a whole century has passed when only eight years had only gone by. Believe me, I may have entered the third century of my life, but I don't feel any wiser because of all those years on my back, nor all the battles that I partook, or my ruling of the North. I feel a tiny bit wiser from those eight years of raising my children though. Of admiring my beloved son Durin who makes me proud every single day with his immense wisdom and his second to none braveness despite his youth. What can I say about him that will be enough to describe his grandeur. What will be enough to explain the majesty that embellishes all his mannerisms. My court began suspecting the reincarnation soon after the boy met all the seasons for the first time, but I never admitted to it. I insisted and still do, on calling him Farin, mostly because I want him to be humble, respectful and willing to learn. The ancient spirit in him, sometimes makes him shine so bright that he can blind everyone around him, but also himself. It makes him speak about the lost Dwarrowdelf and Durin's accomplishments with a knowledge that no one could have owned, unless they have lived through these experiences first hand. People respect him deeply and already see in him the future King, which for me is a dream come true. Still...my job isn't to just hand over the throne of the north to him. My job is to teach him how to rule and expand our Kingdom further for the benefit of our kin, because he has the strength to do this. He was born to lead our people into a new era of prosperity. I need to teach him how to be just, brave and honourable, but also patient, respectful and humble._

_How can I do all that if I outright admit to him that he is the final reincarnation of our legendary forefather? He needs first and foremost to learn respect and how to listen and adapt to the advice of his elders, which is difficult since the spirit in him is older than any of us and that throws my poor son into such a hard contradiction sometimes. With his mother he is more receptive, with me he is more challenging. I suppose that Durin would have expected his father to challenge him. How else could I manage to create growth in him if not by challenge. That spirit though at times confuses my handsome and brave son. It makes him stubborn and unable to explain to me his feelings. That is something that worries me. It is as if he keeps all his emotions locked inside so his people wouldn't deem him as weak. I can understand that he might feel like he is holding the knowledge of the whole world in his small hands and that might become overwhelming. At the same time he feels too young to undertake such a weighty and almost impossible task, as to lead all the seven clans of our mighty kin to the future. The residues of the ancient spirit in him, at times collide with the innocence of his youth and that pains me deeply, because he doesn't know which way to turn._

_The fresh mind and heart of my son get enveloped by that ancient essence...and that young untouched boy looks at times so bewildered as to which part of him he must allow to prevail that I want to shield him. I never thought that raising Durin would be easy, but I also never thought that at times it would be so difficult that I would question myself...my morals, my set ideas, the way I always dealt with people. My oldest son, challenges everything I knew and makes me search for new ways to accomplish things with him. I sometimes feel that he is here to help me grow as much as I am here to help him do the same. Eilin tells me to be more tender with him. That at times I am too stony, too harsh, too stern, too aloof with Durin, whilst with Rhianaye and Thrárin, I am a much more gentle father. Maybe she is right, but will gentleness help me wake up the new King of the North that is inside him?_

_Now I sound like my father and I hate that so much, no matter how much I truly loved him. Durin...my proud, strong, handsome warrior prince...I may need to rethink the way I am approaching you, for I resemble Thrain too much and the last thing I want to do is hurt you...even unwillingly, like my father had done to me. I am smiling again because I am thinking that my son is only eight years old and he is causing me so much uncertainty and fear. What will happen when he enters early adulthood? What will our relationship be like then? Maybe Eilin is right, maybe I should start resembling Thrain a little less and turning my attitude around a bit more. Maybe I should act with Durin, as I would have wanted my father to act with me._

_I'd never hurt my children, believe me and my roughness with Durin, which I partly justify as he is my heir, was never addressed towards my beautiful precious Little Gem, Rhianaye who is the apple of my eye. I watched her get past all her initial difficulties and blossom to one of the most charismatic girls of my kingdom and no this isn't just a proud dad speaking. I know it's true. I saw her walking, speaking and responding to us much later than Durin who was always the fastest, cleverest and strongest of the two. I always secretly worried for her, even though Eilin felt proud for every small accomplishment. For me nothing was enough. I was troubled for her frail little body and how short she was in comparison to her brother. When Durin took his first steps and she didn't, my heart dropped. When he mumbled daddy and she didn't, a tear stained my eye. She had problems since birth and I expected those problems to always be part of her life. So I devoted myself to her more than I did to my exceptional little boy, something that in retrospect I might regret. I swore to support her through all the difficulties by putting Durin's needs behind sometimes. I never did it on purpose. That was just me admitting that my Little Gem needed help, whilst her strong brother was more than able to go forth alone. Therefore I protected her a little too fiercely at the beginning._

_Eilin told me that was a mistake. That I needed to allow her to fall, to hurt herself, to experiment in order to blossom. That I should let her try to run after Durin when she was barely able to walk and when she fell down and cried like mad I shouldn't go and pick her up. That I should allow her brother to deal with her. I couldn't...I was too weak. It took me a long time to accept that she will never be as quick, as strong or as tall as him. When I did manage that though it felt as if a great burden got lifted from my chest. I don't know if it was the new way I was looking at my children then, or simply that I decided to allow Rhianaye to experiment and hurt herself, but after that point I saw my daughter displaying for us an array of talents that I would have never believed possible before I allowed her to put herself through different trials._

_Okay she may not ever be as tall or strong like Durin. Besides as my beloved wife says: "She's a girl Thorin. What do you want? A bulky tall muscular girl to resemble you? I am small and thin and I caught your eye alright." Wasn't she right perchance? Rhianaye's thin and dainty physique is a major bonus added to her amazing beauty. She looks like a little fairy and everyone in my court is smitten with her, I know. With the green eyes of her mother and my dark hair she is stealing everyone's hearts when she's acting all courtly and sweet. My kingdom has created so many songs about the beauty of my beloved wife and daughter and about the strength of Durin. So I admired my little Gem unfolding all her charisma before my eyes, day by day. The beautiful voice she has when she sings which Eilin insists she took after me ...and yes I am secretly proud of that. Her ability to understand the ancient runes the very moment I explain them to her, which is also something I passed onto her. She even throws shade at Durin in the academic studies with her amazing ability to concentrate so well! The charismatic way she moves and dances which was taken from mom. Her kind hearted nature and empathy which is also Eilin reincarnate. As for her love of animals, what can I say? She absolutely adores every living being. She has such a heart of gold that I sometimes worry a man will come along and crumble it. I swear that if anyone dares to hurt my daughter, I shall gut them, their families and all their close or distant relationships. I don't care if I have to unroot a whole kingdom for her. I shall do it if anyone ever dares to make her cry!_

_..._

_Mahal help me, I need to calm down, because that thought truly drives me mad..._

_...Where was I?_

_Oh, yes Rhianaye has such an all embracing heart for every creature, that she has enchanted even the Elves of Mirkwood. They have grown a particular fondness for her and Tauriel has taken her several times into the forest in order to show her Thranduil's white deers. Something that my court still has trouble dealing with, but I dismiss them all. Having the Elves take care of my children is something that feels so natural to me now. My allegiance to the Elven realm was and still stands strong. I know Thranduil will protect my children, as I will protect his people. Telling Tauriel to take Durin and Rhianaye at the enchanted lake for me is like placing a seal on our already strong alliance. Besides Tauriel and Radagast simply adore them. Sometimes I believe that Rhianaye feels more at home in Radagast's hut with Tauriel's company, surrounded by animals than in Erebor, but I don't mind._

_Raising my beautiful petite daughter through all these initial fears for her health and development, humbled me deeply. It made me wiser, quieter and more patient with the world around me. My children have offered me a growth I never believed I'd acquire at this late age. I will try not to smile again, because I am speaking of my children now and I still haven't talked about the latest addition to our family, my folly...my handsome son Thrárin. When he was first born I feared that he was going to go through all the difficulties that Rhianaye had gone through, but fortunately he took after Durin. Now at the age of four, he is already running after his older brother trying to catch up with him and is so protective of Durin that it is unreal. You should expect the older brother to be protective of the younger one, but in their case it's quite the opposite. Thrárin loves and looks up to Durin so much that whenever my oldest son is in distress, my youngest goes into a fit also. Rhianaye tries to act like a mommy to him, which makes my heart skirt, but nothing can calm down Thrárin like seeing his older brother making faces at him. Whenever I call Durin by his temporary name, both him and his little brother turn to me and cry out that his name was, is and will forever be that of our honourable forefather and I cannot help but admire the determination of my four year old as he stands bravely at the flanks of his brother. I hope one day he will stand in a similar manner next to Durin at their first battle._

_So my little boy is mimicking Durin in everything. From the way he stands, to the way he walks to how he demands I call him Durin in front of all my court. Sometimes I feel that Thrárin needs to gain his own personality and not imitate Durin so much. I am afraid my oldest son's strength will overpower the true nature of my youngest, but Eilin tells me not to worry. That it's normal for the kid to look up to his brother and sister and that later on he will develop his own personality._

_I await patiently for that day._

_Why did I speak of Thrárin as my folly, you might ask. Well, one would have thought that someone who came to such brutal realisations about life after children, would have abstained from having another one, right? Anyone in their right mind would expect someone who has so many responsibilities both in his family and in his kingdom to act more prudently towards his wife during their intimate moments, correct? Well, truth is I told Eilin to command me not to love her fully whenever she felt like it and she never did. Truth is that I wished to have a big family with my wife since the beginning and I always told her, but I won't lie, there is a hidden motive also. I was always in a desperate need to know if my twins had been a single stroke of pure luck. I didn't know If I was able to give love to Eilin that would be able to grow again. Egotistically I wanted to see her blossom with my seed once more and see another product of our love being born again. Those moments had been so precious to me that I wanted to repeat them. We took care to count Eilin's days as Loa told her at first and we were rather successful to keep another child away from our family during the first, difficult years. As our love grew stronger though we started failing on that accursed counting at first and then we gave up on it completely._

_Was I truly expecting to get her pregnant again? Yes and no. The moment she revealed to me her new pregnancy I was over the moon. Since now I knew what was expecting us both during her pregnancy and her labour I was quick to share the news with my friends, my court and the whole of Erebor whose bells began chiming again. Well, that didn't last long though since nine months later Eilin delivered my red headed warrior Thrárin after a very easy labour that lasted only half a day. Durin and Rhianaye were so excited to see mom's belly growing as it housed their new sibling. I remember how Durin wanted a brother and Rhianaye a sister and how Durin jumped up with enthusiasm when I announced to them their new little brother. I still recall him punching his little sister's shoulder and yelling at her: "I told you I would win! I have a brother now! We shall fight together!" Rhianaye's face fell on the news, but little did she know how Thrárin would turn out to be a much better toy for her than all her stuffed baby dolls combined. Me and Eilin felt our heart melting when Rhianaye quickly began warming up towards that living doll with the long curly red hair, the bright big blue eyes and the chubby red cheeks that called her "pa-pa." I still wear a silly smile on my face when I remember my little fairy leaning above the cradle and grasping_ _Thrárin's finger gently. "Not pa-pa silly. My name is Rhianaye. Rhi-an-aye...say it..."_

_"Pa-pa."_

_And her turning to me and exclaiming quite seriously. "Dad...I think he is broken."_

_I cannot stop giggling at that memory like a dwarfling. I gave_ _Thrárin_ _that name as a tribute to my father who was lost in the ruins of Dol Guldur, from such a dishonourable death. Now the first days after Thrárin's birth were not even close to being as difficult as they were during the birth of our twins. People told me that the more children you have the easier it becomes and I didn't believe them, but they were right. I sometimes think that Thrárin actually raised himself after a point. Maybe it was because he had the guidance of all of us as he was the youngest member of our family. Another reason Thrárin grew up so easily is that we never worried about his health like we had done with Rhianaye._

 _My perfect little girl...whenever I think of her my heart just melts. Come to think of it, she daddy's little girl, isn't she? Much like Dis was with Thrain. Something that rubs me the wrong way now, as I feel I am repeating my father's mistakes with Durin and possibly with_ _Thrárin too_ _._

_Mistakes...see? That is what I fear...the mistakes I am going to make with my children and how similar they are going to be to my father's. I dread that so much, but Eilin is always there to calm my fears. I swear there isn't a single day that has passed, no matter my frustrations, that I didn't thank the Gods for the woman I have by my side. For her braveness, her courage, her level headedness that always puts things into perspective for me when I get lost into the havoc of fatherhood. Her resilience against the inevitable fatigue and all the hardships. Her patience with our children's mischiefs that sometimes I deal with a little bit too sternly. She's the perfect balance to my austerity. Actually she is my perfect balance. She seems to be able to hold onto every single thread of our family and pull us back together firmly when we seem to drift apart. She's the vice that holds us in place and I am trying to do the best I can to support her. I am doing it properly? I bet she's going to say no..._

_...and there I go smiling again._

_I am smiling because I know that even if she answers no, she will still love me as fiercely as I do. Sometimes in my dreams I see her dead, or missing. I am trying to find her and I don't know where she is. I wake up in a panic only to see her sleeping serenely next to me and then the world is whole again. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost her..._

_No, I am lying_ _...I know exactly what I would do if I ever lost her._

_I would die._

_I can never exist without her or without my children, but isn't it strange that I want to believe that they will continue to exist without me? I cannot imagine them gone, even if I am dead. I want them to exist forever, even after the stars die out and fall from the sky._

"What are you thinking laddie? Your countenance is so dark and brooding." Balin said quietly and crossed his arms behind his back.

Thorin inhaled sharply and felt as if he was emerging from underwater. He shook his head slightly and felt the weight of the Raven Crown on his head. "Hello Balin."

Balin smiled.

Thorin exhaled a trapped breath and pursed his lips as he looked up to the King's Gem.

"So what were you thinking?" Balin said quietly.

"My children." Thorin rejoined with a hushed tone.

Balin nodded softly. "Mahal blessed you with a big, healthy and loving family lad. After all those hardships in your life, you are now exactly where you should have been. The legendary King of the North, ruling kingdoms far and wide. Offering protection to all the surrounding lands and being respected by Dwarves, Men and Elves alike, while being deeply feared by the shadows that hide behind the Ash Mountains and in the forsaken lands of Moria. Your name resonates through those orc infested halls causing them ripples of fear and trepidation. We already know that the Necromancer is trying to find ways to get rid of you. Your name is written in black speech and it will continue to be so especially now that you have given birth to the final reincarnation of Durin. As for your beloved family...you have created exactly what you had always dreamed. Prominent sons and daughters to secure the throne and to continue your legendary bloodline. All that should make you feel proud, not look so broody."

Thorin smiled and looked around him. "Remember when we first entered these halls?"

Balin pursed his lips. "I do."

"Remember the ruins Erebor was in?" Thorin continued.

"My heart was bruised that day, believe me laddie. I shall never forget it for as long as I live." Balin lowered his head thoughtfully.

"Look at it now..." Thorin sighed.

"Erebor was reborn, much like you." Balin smiled proudly at him.

"Do you think it is wise for us to stop our rebirth with this kingdom or that maybe we should try to give life to other kingdoms that are buried into deep darkness?" Thorin's eyes held a gleam in them that Balin hadn't seen since Thorin decided to pursue the quest for the Lonely Mountain.

"What is it that your brilliant mind is thinking now?" -Balin raised his brow- "There no other Dwarven Kingdoms enveloped in darkness anymore. No other except from one..."

Thorin looked at him quietly.

"Khazad-dum..." Balin's voice fell.

Thorin inclined his head. "My son's homeland."

Balin closed his eyes and inhaled slowly. "What an imprudent thought. Only you could have dared such a move..."

"No me, but my son when he comes of age." Thorin said quietly.

"These ancient tall-pillared halls are infested with orcs whose numbers are difficult to calculate my King." Balin said respectfully.

"If I ever decide to do it, I won't march with a company of twelve Balin, but with an army of thousands armed to the teeth." Thorin's eyes thinned and his back crawled with the precursors of the blood of war that always hibernated in him.

Balin crossed his arms and a faint smile appeared on his lips. "If you ever decide to attempt this legendary quest I hope that Mahal will bless me to be by your side and see you conquer the holiest land of our kin." The pride in him couldn't be hidden.

"Erebor has been reborn by the sweat and labour of the men and women who escaped the darkness that lays deep in the bowels of Ered Mithrin. They came here searching for safety and peace. I am not about to send them into war once again. This will take time, careful thinking and patience from all of us. Above all patience. Erebor is growing stronger with each passing day. When people started flocking, it was working with a skeleton crew at every level...now..." Thorin's voice trailed.

Balin grinned. "Now it is overflowing with life and it is as majestic, if not more from the time of your honourable grandfather. Our treasury is overflowing with gold and we are able to sustain thousands upon thousands of families on our treasure alone without us lifting a finger to do anything for many centuries to come. Our people are brimming with a prosperity that these lands hadn't witnessed for many centuries. Affluences that surpass by far those you have accomplished at your halls in the Blue Mountains. The births alone, which have tripled the last eight years, attest to the safety people feel under your rulership. Our kin is flourishing under the protection of the King of the North and your name is equal to great wisdom, immense military power and fair judgment for all. It is no secret that after hundreds and hundreds of years of feud, the Elves had begun trusting our kin again. Having Thranduil as a close friend, has turned all the Elven Lords to your side." Balin stopped and sighed.

Thorin looked at him carefully.

"When I saw you in the battle of Azanulbizar roaring like a lion at the side of your grandfather I knew that you were a leader I would follow to death. Seeing what you have accomplished after so many years of ruling Durin's Folk, I cannot but feel my heart swelling with pride. If there was anyone who would have been able to revive our kin to its former glory and even push us to surpass it, then this man was you...since the beginning." -Balin smiled- "Ever since you took that dangerous dive in the River Running and almost killed yourself for a bloody bet, I knew it. Your father knew it also and he said so many times to my father."

Thorin frowned. "What did he say?"

Balin felt his eyes burning. "Keep your eyes locked at my oldest son, Fundin. He will resuscitate our kin, he will fortify it and we shall flourish under him...mark my words...my boy will do it."

Thorin averted his eyes and crossed his hands behind his back thoughtfully. "That is exactly what I am thinking about my son now."

Balin frowned. "Yet you will hand to your son the rule of the seven Kingdoms and strong alliances with the Elves and Men. Your father handed over a destroyed family, our kin in ruins and a title in exile. Nothing more."

"Still my son will have the opportunity to step on what I have built and expand it further..." Thorin raised his brow.

Balin tilted his head. "To the north I suppose?"

Thorin's lips upturned. "If he conquers these mountains and we take back Khazad-dum then the strength of the darkness that is gathering behind the Ash mountains will have no hope."

Balin nodded. "You are right. With Gondor at it's flanks, the Elven Kingdoms at it's northeast and us giving it pressure from the north it will perish. It's only a matter of time."

Thorin pursed his lips. "Gondor is weak now, torn apart by the greed of men. It cannot support anyone...yet. Still there is hope for the future, Balin if we are patient." He said thoughtfully.

Balin crossed his arms. "I fear the magical forces that are working behind that dark mountain. We might be able to bend them, but destroy them? I am not so sure."

Thorin looked towards the bridge that led to the throne room where the outline of his beloved wife made its appearance. "When the time comes we shall see who will prevail Balin, but such a war needs the combination of many forces. Not just one. One will never be enough against that darkness." his voice dropped low and his brows wrinkled as he saw his daughter rushing past her mother.

"Daddy...daddy...daddy...daaaaaad!" Rhianaye yelled and run on the bridge with her long black hair waving behind her thin frame. Her big green eyes were huge with fear and her hands opened wide when she fell into his arms.

He picked her up and she instantly wrapped her legs around him and buried her head on his shoulder. "What's the matter Little Gem?" He said and kissed her temple. Her small body shuddered under his large hands.

"Thrárin is the matter! I told him not to go near the river, but does he ever listen!? No, he doesn't!" Rhianaye grasped his vest with her small fists and rubbed her teary eyes on it, hiding her face from her mother who was coming quickly, holding a crying and very wet Thrárin in her arms. Durin was following. His long wet hair created a dark curtain around his serious face.

Thorin caressed his daughter's back. "Calm down love, give me a moment to understand what is happening."

Eilin came over, shaking her head. She bounced Thrárin in order to calm him down and her free hand came out to caress Durin's wavy hair gently. "I am sorry for interrupting you honey." -She said exhausted to Thorin and then her gaze fell regretfully to Balin.

He bowed. "We weren't talking about anything serious my Lady." Balin smiled.

Thorin frowned and pulled Eilin in his embrace. "What is it men gehyith? What happened?" He kissed the top of her sweaty forehead.

Durin crossed his hands in front of his equally wet clothes and kept his intense stare on his father...only on his father. He was literally hanging from Thorin's lips.

Eilin rocked Thrárin who was clinging on her with a red face and trembling lips. She inhaled deeply trying to calm down the fear that had overtaken her before. Her son was safe and they were together again as a family. She tried to put her thoughts in order so she could relate to Thorin what happened. "We were out at the river. Rhianaye was picking up flowers, Durin was training with Lis and I was washing some clothes..."

He opened his mouth to speak, but she stopped him.

"Don't start again! I know I have Loa to help me and also Rhiannon, but I want to do things for our family with my own two hands, alright?! You know how important that is for me!" She rejoined.

He inhaled deeply and offered Thrárin a gentle kiss that caused the boy to forget his mother and cling onto the vest of his father.

"Daddy ..." he mumbled and sniffled.

Eilin passed her son over to Thorin and cupped her forehead. "He's fine now, he just needs to calm down, as we all do..." Her eyes fell worriedly at Durin who was still gazing intensely at his father.

Thorin held both his kids tightly and offered a kiss to each. "Why is Thrárin so wet..." Then his eyes finally met Durin's demanding stare and he shook his head. "Why is Farin wet also?"

Eilin rubbed her forehead firmly. "Thrárin was playing too close to the water and fell in. Before I could do anything the river flow took him away. I admit that my reactions were too slow and in my panic all I could do was scream for help. Before I even got the chance to dive in to save him, someone else took over and saved the day."

Thorin looked at his oldest son. "Farin?"

His son closed his eyes and pressed his lips. "My name was, is and will forever be Durin, father." He said solemnly.

Thorin looked at Balin who raised his brow meaningfully. The King exhaled patiently and gifted his wife with another gentle kiss on her forehead. She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head at the same shoulder that Thrárin was weeping on. "Did he take in any water?" He looked troubled at the face of his red headed warrior and at his large blue eyes that were all teary.

Eilin shook her head and even though Thorin didn't have any spare hands to embrace her with, she still felt all the weight of the world lifting from her shoulders just by being next to him. "No my love. Farin dived in fast and pulled Thrárin out before he managed to drink any water."

Thorin's eyes turned searching on his oldest son once more and his brows furrowed slightly. Then he looked back at his little boy "Hey little man..." -he jerked his shoulder to draw Thrárin's attention- "What have I told you about the river?"

Rhianaye suddenly animated and looked up from Thorin's shoulder. "That we mustn't play too close to the waters and that we must never lean down because our head weighs more than our bodies and it will draw us in!"

Thorin smiled proudly at her and scrounged his nose. "Very good my precious Little Gem."

Durin crossed his arms and looked around him annoyed that his father's attention once more wavered from him to his little sister, like it always did.

Rhianaye pushed to be released and Thorin placed her down. She instantly run to her twin and grasped his arm, something that bothered Durin to no extend. "He saved Thrárin daddy. If Durin hadn't been there, Thrárin would have died!"

Thorin raised his brow, more surprised that his daughter had gotten into calling Durin with his chosen name, and less about the amazing braveness of his oldest son who acted so selflessly in order to help his little brother. He gave his girl a soft nod. "I hear you petal." -Then he turned to his youngest son and cleared the long red curls out of his big expressive eyes.- "What has gotten into you? Why didn't you follow the rules concerning the river? You are too young to swim well yet. Why were you so close to the bank?" His voice filled with austerity.

Thrárin wiped his nose on Thorin's fur lapels. "I wanted to see the big green frog dad! I was trying to catch him, but he didn't want to!"

"So you decided to take a plunge in the cold waters to have a better chance with him?" Thorin asked quietly.

Thrárin averted his eyes and began playing with the strings of Thorin's tunic. "I am sorry daddy..."

"You acted against the wise advice of your poor mother whose heart almost stopped beating when she saw you struggling in these dangerous waters..." Thorin continued unfazed by his son's tries to get to his good side.

Thrárin began sniffling again and grabbed Thorin's coat tightly. "I am sorry..." he mumbled and hid his face in Thorin's lapels.

"You almost died for a bloody frog?" Thorin's brows came together angrily.

Eilin looked at her husband beseechingly. "Don't yell at hm my love. It was a mistake."

Thrárin animated when he felt the support of his mother. "Yes daddy, it was a mistake! I'll never do it again!" He looked up with large eager eyes.

Thorin gazed intensely at his son. "You worried your sister who loves you beyond count and came in here screaming with fear. You worried your poor mother who cannot live without you." He continued his torment and Thrárin released a slow wail and began sobbing hard again.

"Above all though you made your older brother come after you in order to save you. We could have lost both you and him. Do you understand that what you did was very very dangerous?" Thorin continued.

Durin looked up at his dad and his eyes ignited with a sparkle of hope.

Thrárin nodded and hid his head on Thorin's neck. "I am sorry daddy, I will ne-ver do it ag-ain." He stammered.

Thorin caressed his hair and gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead. "You are frozen, go to your mother. You need to pass through the hot springs in order to get your skin warm again."

Thrárin looked up with a pouting lip that was trembling. "Do you forgive me daddy?"

Thorin gave him a ghostly smile. "Yes, but don't ever let me catch you near the river until you learn how to swim better."

Eilin smiled and wiped some tears of relief that had escaped her eyes. She took Thrárin away from Thorin's hand, but her husband didn't allow her to leave like that. He pulled her in and gave her a gentle kiss on her lips. "Are you alright?" he whispered.

She kissed him back softly and nodded. "I think so." She whispered.

"Yack...they're doing it again!" Rhianaye looked at Durin.

"Oh shut up Rhianaye. Turn around if you don't want to see them. I am getting tired of you, really..." Durin rolled his eyes and pushed her around so she wouldn't see their parents.

"Hey don't talk to me like that!" Rhianaye sounded angry at Durin's dismissal.

Eilin frowned. "Why are you talking like this to your sister?"

Durin's jawline flexed. "Leave me alone mom..."

Eilin was about to rebuke when Thorin's eyes stopped her. "Take Rhianaye with you, I need to speak with Farin."

Eilin raised her brow at him. "He is angry again."

"I know. Now allow me some privacy with him." Thorin rejoined calmly.

Eilin kissed his cheek firmly and looked at Thrárin. "Are you ready for some proper diving young man? This time in warm shallow waters?"

Thrárin looked up from her shoulder and sucked his runny nose. "Yes mommy."

Eilin took Rhianaye's hand and smiled down at her. "You want to help me bathe him?"

Rhianaye beamed up to her mom. "Yeah! I'd love to! Can I go in too? I am a bit cold.."

Eilin scrounged her nose to her daughter. "Of course you can honey."

Thrárin frowned. "I am getting older mommy, I can bathe myself! Rhianaye doesn't have to take care of me!"

"Yeah right, older sure..." -his sister teased- "That's why you fell into the river in order to chase a frog. You have no idea how to take care of yourself yet young man!" She chastised with a stern voice that imitated her mom's and made Thorin smile, as Eilin led them away from the throne room.

"Mooooom tell her to stop! She's acting like a wise ass again!" Thrárin yelled.

Balin snorted and Thorin chuckled.

"Stop it young man, this instant! What language is this from all of you today?" Eilin chastised.

"I am going to wash your hair clean and you can scream bloody murder all you want. I will only stop when mom tells me to, now calm down!" Rhianaye commanded her younger brother.

Thorin remained patiently observing them as their voices began fading. Then he turned to Balin. "Leave us."

Balin bowed to both the King and the Prince and left quickly.

Thorin approached his son who stood immovable at the same spot. It took the King several moments to speak as he scrutinised his oldest son. "You jumped in after Thrárin?"

Durin crossed his hands in front of his belly and lowered his head. "Yes father."

"You jumped in even though you knew how dangerous the waters are so close to the waterfall?" Thorin raised his brow.

Durin gave him a quiet nod. "Yes."

"Why didn't you allow your mom to do that?" Thorin's eyes thinned on his son.

Durin looked up and Thorin shuddered at their uncanny resemblance. "I was much closer to him. Mom would have taken far longer to reach him and I didn't want to lose any time."

Thorin raised his brow and allowed a few moments to pass before he spoke again. "You saved your brother's life."

Durin swallowed and felt his eyes tearing up. He pushed the overbearing feelings down, needing to hide them from his strong father. "I am glad he is well."

Thorin inhaled and came down to one knee in front of his boy. He looked at his beautiful azure eyes and his long wavy black hair that reached below his shoulders. Even at the traces of the black beard that was starting to form on his handsome face and he felt his chest swelling with pride. "You protected your brother with your life..." Thorin trailed.

Durin felt his eyes burning again and looked at his boots.

"I hope one day your brother will stand bravely at your side in a battle field and protect your life with equal fervour." Thorin continued.

Durin wiped his cheek quickly and looked at his hands. He didn't trust himself to speak. This profound recognition from his father meant more to him than anything else in the world right now.

"Both Rhianaye and Thrárin are lucky to have you as their older brother. I hope life shows you one day how lucky you are to have them at your flanks too." Thorin nodded quietly at his thoughts.

Durin wiped another stray tear angrily.

Thorin reached out and grabbed his son's hand gently and Durin's heart melted. "The outer name of a Dwarf is earned through their deeds. It is not simply given to them upon a whim."

Durin looked up sharply. "It is not a whim dad! I know that is the name I must have! I know...I see things...I see places I've never been. I know them so well...I've drawn them so many times. You've seen my drawing, haven't you?!"

Thorin pressed Durin's wrist and closed his eyes. "An outer name is earned...not demanded because you had dreams and visions. We are not wizards my son...we are Dwarves. Our feet are planted firmly on the ground, we live under it and we prosper from it."

Durin closed his eyes and several tears run down his cheeks, which he tried to wipe with his other hand. "I am sorry father, but I cannot declaring what I know is the truth."

Thorin opened his eyes. "Today you saved your brother's life."

Durin gazed at his father almost breathless.

"Today you earned your outer name my son, but not because of visions and dreams, but because of the bravery and courage you displayed." Thorin continued courtly.

Durin inhaled sharply. "Wh-at?" He stuttered.

"Only a great deed would have been able to earn you such a legendary name my boy." Thorin's lips cracked a smile.

Durin's eyes were consuming his father with shocked veneration.

"What greater deed is there, than saving your own brother from certain death?" Thorin frowned.

Durin felt his tears overflowing his eyes and his bottom lip began trembling. "Really? I earned my name?"

Thorin tilted his head majestically and released his son's hand. "Yes you did Durin."

Durin cupped his mouth and squeezed his eyes tight, not wanting to show all this weakness in front of his father, but he was unable to stop all these emotions from erupting. "Th-ank you father...th-ank you..." he stuttered.

Thorin took off his heavy Raven Crown and looked at it long and hard. "Henceforth you shall be known as Durin the seventh. The final reincarnation of our legendary forefather. May your rule be long and wise my boy and may Mahal bless me to see you sit under the Arkenstone before I perish." He was unable to hide the emotions as his voice broke towards the end of the sentence.

Durin looked at his dad through blurry eyes when Thorin placed the Raven Crown on his small head. "I will not allow you to perish, father!" Durin rebuked almost in anger and fell in Thorin's arms.

"My brave boy. You made me so proud today." Thorin whispered and his large hands caressed Durin's back.

The boy snuggled in his father's huge embrace and for a moment the mighty ancient spirit in him quietened by the paternal love it felt from Thorin. "I did?"

"Yes." Thorin nodded and he remained silent as his boy clutched him for several moments. What broke their peace was the crown that tilted askew on Durin's head.

"It won't stand still..." Durin frowned.

"This crown is yet too big and heavy for you. You need to grow up in order to wear it. You need to acquire wisdom in order to do it justice. That needs time." Thorin whispered and straightened up the crown on Durin's head. Then he stood up and offered his hand to his son.

"Where are we going?" Durin tried to sound serious, when that was the last thing that he was feeling.

Thorin smiled at him patiently. "Let's take a stroll..."

Durin twisted his fingers between Thorin's. "Alright father"

Thorin frowned as they exited from the elaborate archway that led to the throne room. "Tell me...why did you speak to your sister so angrily?"

Durin's lips turned down and he avoided Thorin's stare. "I don't know..."

Thorin pursed his lips, but he spoke with calm patience. "You seem to be doing it often."

Durin shook his head not giving any notice to several workmen and common people who bowed from a distance when they saw the King and his son coming. The loud presentation of arms behind them from the guards at the flanks of the archway made no impression to him either. All his attention was turned to his father. "I just cannot help it sometimes. I don't know what is getting over me. I get confused about how I feel."

Thorin released his son's hand and crossed his arms behind his back thoughtfully. Durin had to fight the urge to do the same and he simply tried to walk with the same pace as his imposing father, mimicking every single mannerism without even realising it. "Let's see. Would you like us to understand what you are feeling now?"

Durin frowned as they entered the Gallery of Kings, with the golden floor. "How can I do that father? One moment I feel anger towards Thrárin, the other fear for his life. Then I feel anger towards my sister and then at myself for being unable to control my feelings."

Thorin stopped in the middle of the huge impressive cavern and looked up at the spectacular dome. "It seems that fear is triggering your anger, making you feel chaotic."

Durin dragged his boot across the golden floor and looked at his reflection in it. "I know. I feel unable to think clearly at times." He admitted.

Thorin's deep voice hummed. "I see. What is it your greatest fear about?"

"I don't want to lose anyone from our family." Durin said and felt his eyes burning again.

Thorin nodded quietly. "Both fear and anger are very consuming feelings. Which of the two do you dislike the most?"

"Fear! I hate it, that is why I get angry when I feel it!" Durin looked at him intensely.

Thorin brought his heavy azure gaze on his son again. "Why do you hate fear?"

"Because it makes me feel weak! Anger makes me feel strong and I must be the strong one, right? I am not supposed to feel any fear, right?! That's why I hate it!" Durin's words came out almost with an almost desperate need to make his father understand.

"You are not supposed to feel fear? Who ever said something like that?" Thorin raised his brow.

"My heart does..." Durin's voice diminished.

Thorin's heavy hands fell on Durin's shoulders and he smiled down at him. "Why do you refuse yourself to feel fear?"

"Fear makes me want to cry, but can I cry? Warriors don't cry. The mighty kings of old never cried." Durin frowned.

"Didn't they? I must be the exception to the rule then." Thorin smiled.

"What?" Durin turned confused.

"I have cried many times and I have shown my fears even more." Thorin shook his head thoughtfully.

"You have?!" Durin's eyes grew wide and he looked at his father's face.

"Hiding your feelings from your family is a folly, my son. You must embrace each feeling in you. Even the ones that you feel embarrassed about, will eventually lead you to improvement when you slowly learn how to control them. You were born in order to reclaim what once was yours, but that won't happen unless you accept the emotions that flood your mind and your heart." Thorin said wisely.

Durin reached up to clasp his father's large hand. "How did it feel when you cried?"

"Immensely healing." Thorin smiled down to him.

Durin stopped and looked lost at golden mirror under his legs. His small hand pressed Thorin's firmly. "Thank you" He said and after a few silent moments he released his dad's hand and burrowed in his arms slowly.

Thorin cradled him tenderly. "Thrárin lived today because you protected him with your own life. You acted with immense valour and I am very proud of you."

"I earned my name, even though I admitted to being afraid?" Durin sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

Thorin cupped Durin's head protectively and smiled. "That feeling is meant to be felt and it is there in order to protect you. It is not an obstacle to all the brave deeds you shall accomplish. It was never a barrier to you earning this name. We all feel fear one time in our lives or another. Shall I relate my greatest fear to you at this moment?"

Durin gifted Thorin with a timid smile and nodded. "Yes please!"

Thorin pushed several long locks away from Durin's face. His demeanour closed up tight. "I fear this legendary name will become a burden for you. I feel that you are already troubled by thoughts that are too complicated for your age exactly because of that name and the strong grip it has on your soul. You must promise that you will allow yourself to experience every emotion and relate it to me, your mother or your siblings. That you will allow yourself to grow up like all the other kids. Don't convince yourself that you must become detached and withdrawn just because of the legacy that name carries with it and which now falls on your shoulders. Your name must not become an impediment to accepting all your emotions, promise me that."

Durin embraced his father tightly and his young heart filled up with love and admiration. "I promise."

Thorin gave Durin his most doting smile before saying. "I will always be here to remind you to be forgiving with yourself, because few people ever reminded me of that when I was young...and it is so important."

Durin's eyes closed tight. "Thank you."

Thorin's heart melted when Durin grasped him and tried to climb on his body. It was such a rare opportunity to feel his oldest, far too wise and far too restrained son, act like a dwarfling...like a young boy in need of a warm hug from his father. He enfolded Durin in his arms and sighed in relief.

After several moments Durin looked up and wiped away the tears from his cheeks. "Tell me about the story of the Golden Gallery of the Kings, dad."

"Again?" Thorin smiled and then gave a tender kiss at Durin's forehead.

"Yes, I love it!" Durin's tears quickly dried up and a new kind of sparkle appeared in his eyes.

Thorin smirked and placed Durin down. He pointed up to the golden statue of Thror. "Back in the days this statue was not there."

The Raven Crown slid askew on Durin's small head and the boy hurried to fix it. "Only the massive stone mould was there when you first entered Erebor, right?" Durin's eyes were glimmering with enthusiasm.

Thorin tilted his head. "This cavern was dark and cold. Spider webs were between the columns and Thror's mould was overtaken by bats."

"Eerie..." Durin whispered, overtaken by those images once more, like it happened every time Thorin told him the story.

"I suppose Smaug didn't care much about housekeeping..." Thorin looked at the golden statue thoughtfully.

"How did you fire up the furnaces?!" Durin asked ardently.

"That was easy. I provoked the huge reptile's ego a little bit." Thorin raised his brow playfully at him.

"You called him fat!" Durin sounded way too excited.

Thorin winked at his son. "It proved to be a good bait, because his fiery breath ignited every single furnace up in the highest level after that." He pointed to the high pillared archway that led towards those furnaces, that were created solely for the purpose of melting the gold that would create Thror's mighty statue."

Durin's face became serious. "Was he mad at you? Did he want to eat you?"

"He was so angry that he destroyed everything on his path and I must be truthful even though not many know that secret apart from Dwalin..." Thorin hushed his mouth confidentially.

Durin nodded enthused. "I won't say anything father!"

"That bloody reptile almost ate me up. I escaped only because Dwalin was at the right time at the right place." Thorin admitted, feeling rather amused by his son's giddiness.

Durin frowned and crossed his arms. "No it wouldn't have eaten you up. You were more than capable of escaping on your own!" He sounded offended that Thorin utilised Dwalin's help to escape the jaws of that beast.

Thorin raised his brow. "I could agree and make you feel proud, but I will prefer to make you understand that the help of a precious friend can be life saving at some moments. It's not a weakness to admit that you need help sometimes. Either by your family, or from your friends, alright?"

Durin lowered his head feeling slightly embarrassed. "Alright father."

Thorin tilted his head. "Now, when the blazing fires of the furnaces melted up the gold I knew we had a chance to destroy that beast."

"Did the gold fill up all the mould of great grandpa's statue?" Durin's eyes grew wide.

"Up to the brim!" Thorin chuckled.

Durin's mouth dropped open. "Did you jump on it from a great big, huge, massive chain?!"

Thorin smirked. "Yes. I was brainless like that and overtaken by vengeful wrath at that moment. I jumped alright, but I was not thinking clearly."

Durin's face fell as he got prepared to listen to the part of the story that he both adored and hated. "The colossal beast stood in front of you. You talked to it...!"

Thorin's head inclined thoughtfully. "I came face to face with it, yes."

"Was it impressive, scary, ugly?" Durin asked pepped up.

Thorin's mouth curled up slightly. "It was impressive and might I add beautiful, but not scary."

Durin shuddered from exhilaration and pride. "Did you feel fear?"

Thorin shook his head. "I felt fear in many occasions son, but not on that one. At that moment I was just angry and the need for revenge blinded me."

"Your comrades unclasped the huge locks of the statue...and?" Durin asked expectantly.

Thorin's brow rose. "All the melted gold covered Smaug, giving us a momentary feeling of victory. I thought he died, but alas I was mistaken."

Durin's lips parted. "He stood up and he was all golden, but alive!" He cried and his voice echoed in the cavern.

The hairpin of Thorin's mouth turned down. "He stood up mightier than ever before and laden with retribution, which he decided to release on someone weaker than us."

Durin's face shadowed. "Esgaroth."

Thorin clasped his son's hand and squeezed it tight. "He flew like a golden emissary of death and destroyed Lake City. So many people died that night, because of my wrong decisions. It is a burden I have to carry with me to the grave. The golden floor you see below us." -Durin lowered his head and look both at the reflection of him and his father- "brought death to many innocents. It was one of the decisions that I will always regret ever making."

Durin's face fell.

Thorin's hands pressed his son's."But who says that a great leader never makes mistakes? Everybody does, you just have to accept that we are all prone to error of judgement and hope that any unfair decision you make in the future will not cause so many deaths."

Durin nodded disheartened. "I understand father."

Thorin cupped his son's cheek. "Hey look at me."

Durin looked up.

"Accept with humility the human side in all of us. You will feel less disappointed by future failures if you do that, alright?"

Durin's lips cracked a smile and he nodded. "Can I feel both proud and sad for what happened in this room dad?"

Thorin frowned.

Durin hurried to explain. "I know that so many people died, but I still feel proud about the way you faced that beast."

Thorin's heart twitched. "Of course you can my boy. Who says one feeling eradicates the other? Sometimes I can feel different feelings about one thing too. Let's say both happiness for forging a new sword and frustration that I didn't manage to do it as well as I would have wanted."

Durin's face broke into a heart warming smile and it took him several moments to speak. "Can I ask you something about that?"

Thorin gave him a soft nod. "Yes."

"Since you love forging so much and you are always making such impressive swords, why haven't you reforged the broken one yet?"

Thorin brows wrinkled. "The broken one?"

Durin shook his head quickly. "The one you keep in the treasure vaults in that pedestal."

"Oh, you mean the Narsil?" Thorin's face cleared up as he understood.

Durin nodded. "I know it's mom's heirloom from my other great great great grandfather Telchar, so why won't you fix it? Maybe I can wield it someday!"

Thorin exhaled. "You in a hurry to have a sword of your own?"

Durin's eyes lit up. "Kind off..." He admitted shyly.

Thorin's lips curled up in an affectionate smile. "That sword doesn't belong to us son. You will wield another powerful blade when the time comes."

Durin pulled Thorin's hands. "Which one?"

"Orcrist." Thorin said quietly.

Durin's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. "That's your blade father!"

Thorin caressed his cheek gently and smiled at him. "It shall be yours later. Be patient."

Durin's eyes seemed to calculate the time he needed in order to get the Orcrist and then he beamed up to his father. "Thank you!"

Thorin chuckled. "You are most welcome."

Durin began nibbling his bottom lip thoughtfully for a few moments before gazing at his father's azure eyes. "So how did Narsil end up being such a mess?"

"That sword was broken in Elendil's fall at the Siege of Barad-dûr." -Thorin looked thoughtfully at his son- "Come to think of it, you and that sword are so much alike."

Durin frowned in confusion and Thorin's heart skirted at the look in his son's face. "Why am I similar to Narsil?"

Thorin averted his eyes and sighed. "You are like this mighty ancient sword now. Shrapnels of old glory and knowledge placed upon the cold stone. If left untouched the legend in you shall not become whole again. It shall remain in pieces, much like this sword. If left untouched it shall remain a ghost of its former glory. Like it's my job to forge this sword, it is also my job to forge you into the mighty king that you are destined to become. You have to allow me to do this and not fight me, even though sometimes you might not like my choices. Do we have a deal?"

Durin smiled and nodded. "Yes dad."

Thorin caressed his temple and brought Durin's head under his neck protectively again. It took his son several moments to speak again. "I heard auntie calling you wolf so many times. When I grow up am I going to be a wolf too?"

Thorin frowned. "No son, you are going to be a lion. You are going to devour any wolf that stands your way."

Durin's lip pouted. "Will I earn as many wounds on my body as you have?"

Thorin tilted his head. "I hope not."

"Can I get many tattoos?" Durin's eyes tried to find his father's impatiently.

Thorin shook his head softly. "When you earn them, much like your name, sure."

Durin's hands clutched his father's lapels. "I will grow up to be a lion, I will get tattoos, I will be wounded many times in many battles and I will become a mighty warrior! You know what dad?"

Thorin smiled at him lovingly. "What?"

"I shall never allow you to be wounded again! You'll never get such a huge scar, like the one you have on your stomach, as long as I am alive. I promise!"

Thorin's eyes filled up with tears and he rubbed his face on his son's wavy hair, hiding from him. "I know you hurry to come to your own and that you wish to protect me, but don't hurry to do all that my son. This isn't the King speaking, but a concerned father who loves you dearly." His voice was subdued in front of the majesty of spirit that resided in his son's heart.

"I love you too dad." Durin's voice was so honest that Thorin's heart melted as they embraced.

That is when the six high Lords marched up to the King and the Prince and stopped in front of them.

Durar placed his hand on his chest. "We were informed that your youngest son almost drowned today your Majesty and we wanted to offer our assistance and relate our heartfelt concern for him."

Thorin looked at them with a smile and stood up. Durin immediately squared his shoulders proudly towards that solemn gathering. "Thank you Lord Durar. Everything is well. My oldest son proved his valiant soul today. He saved his brother."

Dain smiled brightly. "Then we are witnessing the first passage of bravery for the young prince Farin!"

Durin opened his mouth to speak, but Thorin's hand squeezed him and the boy closed his mouth and looked up at his father.

Thorin raised his brow. "The young prince today earned his permanent outer name. He shall not be named Farin anymore."

Durin puffed up smugly.

A knowing smile came over Dain's lips. "What shall the honourable name of the Prince be?"

Thorin's brow wrinkled with resolve. "Durin the seventh..." his rich tone resonated imposingly around them. The heaviness of his words left a residue of revere amongst the six Lords, who remained speechless.

Bjarki took over after a several tense moments. "That is a heavy name, bearing an even heavier legacy."

Thorin tilted his head majestically. "That is my oldest son's name and he is more than aware of it's heavy heritage."

Durin looked at his dad with great zeal.

It took the High Lords several moments to digest the weighty words of Thorin's public declaration, but they had all seen the signs during these eight years. They all suspected what was proclaimed today. The first one on his knees was Dain and then everyone followed. They all placed their fists upon their hearts. "Long live Prince Durin the seventh!" They all cried in unison and the columns reverberated with their conjoined heavy voices.

Durin tried to kneel down also and lowered his head respectfully, but Thorin's hand squeezed his tightly and Durin looked at him ardently.

"Stand up Durin and allow your folk to present their respects to you." Thorin said calmly.

Durin stood imposingly straight and looked around him majestically. The first one to smile was Durar and then all the Lords followed as the young Prince was trying hard to balance the Raven Crown on his head and the attention of everyone on him. Slowly all the bystanders kneeled down in respect and then timidly approached in order to offer the young prince a few words of admiration and awe. To kiss his hand and touch the hem of his tunic in reverence. For the few lucky ones to be present in the public revelation of the Prince's final outer name, that was a moment they would never forget. For the ones that hadn't been so lucky, they were soon going to learn who was the true heir to the throne in a prestigious ceremony that was going to include all of Erebor's court and highest military commanders. So everybody flocked around the young legendary heir trying to get a better glimpse at him, feeling proud that they were partaking in such a historical moment for their kin.

Nobody though felt more proud than Thorin who held his son's sweaty hand tightly in his, as Durin's folk presented him with myriads of praises and eulogies.


	74. There and back again

One month later at Hobbiton, the day was bright. The sky was a vivid blue that resembled the eyes of the King who was sleeping at the main bedroom of Bilbo Baggins home, wrapped around his wife. Outside Bilbo's door the village was brimming with rippling energy. All the villagers had something to do that morning. Bagshot Row was full of people coming and going. Carrying food, vegetables, fruits, cakes, fish and meat, huge rolls of cheese and ham, long rows of sausages and large barrels of wine, mead and old Toby. Their faces were blithe and their hearts full of euphoric expectations. The neighbours forgot their old feuds, if only temporarily and concentrated on whispering about the impressive Dwarven battalion that had created a protective circle around the Shire. For some Hobbits seeing their lands overtaken by heavy military forces, carriages full of provisions, elaborate tents and above brass, vociferous and during most nights drunken behaviour, was utterly frustrating. For most of the Shire though it was manna send from heaven since they could sell their goods at very high prices to all these Dwarves who had few hesitations to pay well for something they needed.

So this joyous day found two of the most prominent members of the Hobbit community having a little bit of a feud, rather close to Bilbo's home.

"I wish we can employ them officially, you know. Like have them here twenty four seven. That is what true safety feels like." Ferumbras the third looked towards Bag End with a clever eye. He tried to speak in a low tone, avoiding to be overheard by any passing Dwarves.

"You have no idea what you are talking about! Ever since Bilbo returned from that accursed journey, he turned our lives upside down with all these acquaintances he made out there. First he returns bearing gold we have no idea where he stole it from and then he starts bringing over strangers from the Lonely Mountain up in the North! What do all these battle hardened Dwarves have to do with our peaceful village? They are like a swarm of locusts ready to pillage our lands!" Otho grumbled and pointed vaguely at where the north was supposed to be.

"The gold Bilbo brought back, was not stolen. It was his fair share from his adventures with the legendary Oakenshield, otherwise known as King of the North and keep your voice down because that King is sleeping not far away from us right now! Bilbo took that gold from the very bowels of Erebor and it is an honour for our little humble village to have such a treasure in it's midst! Not to mention the outstanding privilege to host such a renowned King! Your personal feud with Bilbo is blinding you." Ferumbras brushed him off.

Otho seemed taken aback. "Who told you I ever had a feud with dear old Bilbo?"

Ferumbras huffed. "Lobelia always has her eye on Bilbo's home. You almost claimed it from him this time, didn't you? He overthrew your plans by coming back victorious the last moment, bearing that mighty elven blade Stig and having a long history written under his name. He made our kin famous to the rest of Middle Earth and us proud of him! All Lobelia cared about was taking his home and you supported her if I recall correctly."

Otho raised his brow. "I didn't see you making a big fuss when Lobelia went in Bilbo's home. Actually you were thinking of auctioning his things!"

Ferumbras seemed shocked. "What are you talking about!? I am Thain of the Shire! I wouldn't have acted this despicably towards one of our most upstanding citizens!"

Otho waved him off. "Oh shut up! You would have done anything to get part of Bilbo's things and now you act all high and mighty."

Ferumbras looked at a rather tall and well build Dwarf who was escorting a dark haired dwarrowdam observing them and began fuming. "Will you keep your voice down!? You are making a fool out of yourself!"

Bella Gamgee was passing by at that moment balancing a large basket of strawberries on her hip. "You are both making fools out of yourselves all the bloody time. I don't see anything new!" She teased happily.

Ferumbras glowered at her. "Go to your husband Bella and let us have our brawl in peace! Who asked your opinion? Gamgees..." -the Thain rolled his eyes- "Always getting involved where they shouldn't."

Bella pointed towards the Dwarven couple. "Keep on acting like idiots both of you, you are being watched! I have work to do at the Party Field! It is going to be glorious tonight! Master Gandalf has brought over his best fireworks!"

Otho's face darkened. "Oh, of course, as if we couldn't do all this alone. Gandalf had to make an appearance in order to mess our poor village too!"

Ferumbras turned his attention to him again and forgot about Bella who strolled happily down the path. "What's your problem I don't understand! Everybody is waiting impatiently for Gandalf's fireworks in every single Spring Fest!"

Otho placed his fists on his waist. "That happened ever since Bilbo made him a steady part of our feast, like he is doing now with all these Dwarves! Before him we had plenty of fun with good wine, good music a lot of dancing and our own company. Now we have to cater Dwarves and Wizards alike! There'll be Elves next soon and mark my words Orcs will demand to partake in the fun in the end! Maybe we could allow them to bring over a couple of impaled corpses as decorations!"

Ferumbras was positively fuming. "Shut up!"

Otho raised his brow. "What? Are you afraid I am going to make a fool out of you in front of your elaborate guests who have taken over the whole Shire with their boisterous attitudes?" He looked over at the impressive looking Dwarf.

Ferumbras gazed fleetingly at their guests and smiled feeling uneasy. "Hello Sir!" -He cried happily and the turned wrathfully towards Otho and lowered his voice- "As a matter of fact you stupid fool if we had this kind of superior military protection all the time we would never have to worry about the shadow of the east and all these Orcs bothering us!"

Otho humphed. "As if this formidable military force would stay here to protect us. They are here to keep their King safe and the moment he leaves they will go with him so get off your high horse! They won't protect us. They will simply ravage all our provisions with their insatiable hunger and thirst, they will plunder our fields and forests and they will smoke out all our Toby. When they leave, Hobbiton will resemble the Ash Mountains. A bare wasteland of ruins!"

Ferumbras crossed his arms behind his back. "Well at least they have ample gold coins to pay for our services. Something that you are never doing as you are always trying to live off the well earned money of others!" He rebuked hard.

Otho became red in the face, glared angrily at the Dwarven couple who was observing them and left, grumbling curses under his breath.

When all the bystanders began leaving since there was nothing more to see, the Dwarven couple opened up Bilbo's door and went inside not even caring about the ferocious preparations for the Spring Feast. When the door closed behind Dwalin a screech of panic drew his attention to Rhianaye who came storming down the corridor with her hands outstretched and a face full of terror. "Get away, get away, get away!" She pushed Dwalin and hid behind him panting.

Her brother came stomping down the same corridor bearing a menacing look in his eyes. "Where did you go you little weasel?"

"Eiik!" Rhianaye screamed and Dwalin rolled his eyes.

"Are they at it again?" He asked Balin who was sitting in the living room with Gandalf.

His brother raised his brow. "As you can see..."

Dwalin humphed and turned behind his back to look at Rhianaye. "I don't think you found the proper place to hide, my Lady." He said and Loa smiled up to him.

Rhianaye pointed at her formidable brother. "He wants to kill me!"

Durin reached out and tried to grab her behind Dwalin's huge frame. "I want to have back my honey cake, which you stole you little brat!"

"I don't have any honey cakes!" Rhianaye screeched again when Durin's hand grabbed her apron.

"Give it back or I will beat you!" Durin grumbled.

Rhianaye shuffled with difficulty towards Loa, trying to release her apron. "Leave me alone or I will tell daddy!"

"If you wake up mom, dad will be mad at you...so keep it up! Scream in order to wake her. I cannot wait to tell him what a true little thief you really are!" Durin bit his lower lip and tried to catch her between Dwalin's legs.

That is when Lis grabbed him from the waist and pulled him back. "Lord Durin, please leave the princess alone!" There was sweat trickling at her temples as she had been chasing them all over the place.

Durin stepped on Lis' boot and she released him with a groan of pain. "I won't let her go unless she gives me back the honey cake she stole! She's a thief!"

Gandalf relaxed back at his chair and raised his brow at Balin who rolled his eyes. "Are they always this feisty?"

Balin nodded. "You have no bloody idea. The two of them can bring Erebor into ruins within a single night."

Gandalf smiled. "Well, I'd lie if I say I didn't expect that from Thorin's children."

Balin tilted his head and drunk from his mug. "We all did."

"The second son, is he that fiery also?" Gandalf raised his brow.

Balin shook his head. "Poor boy is the calmest soul I have ever met. He's taken not only his mother's appearance, but also her spirit. He's always tagging behind Durin trying to mimic him or make him smile and he adores his sister. It's these two devils that won't allow us a moment of peace. Thorin's spitting image, both in stubbornness and hotheadedness!"

"Maybe Thrárin can knock some sense into Durin's head later on." Gandalf said calmly.

Balin leaned over. "Do you think there are many people who can subdue Durin?"

Gandalf pursed his lips.

"Only one man can control Durin...and currently he's sleeping inside." Balin exhaled and leaned back again, trying to enjoy his drink despite the screaming that came from the door.

"He got me, he got me...Aaaa!" Rhianaye yelled and tried to get away, but Durin grabbed her hand and pulled her from behind Dwalin.

Lis tried to restraint the young prince, but she got such a strong elbow at her stomach that she doubled over and her mother went to help her. "Are you okay my love?" Loa kneeled down.

Lis looked up pissed off. "I am not a baby mom! I am their bodyguard! Allow me to do my bloody job!"

Loa cringed. "What job!? The prince is always overpowering you! He is rendering you useless!"

Lis hissed at her mother angrily. "And you are rendering me mad right now!"

Durin pulled Rhianaye so hard that he tore her apron and the honey cake that was hiding in there fell to the wooden floor. "See! I told you she stole it! She was hiding it in there!" He snapped and kneeled down to grab it.

Rhianaye kneeled also and they began a tug-o-war with the cake, which of course ended with Durin easily winning her over. He took the cake and shoved her violently to the floor. She sniffled and her eyes filled with tears. When everyone thought that she was going to go into a defeated meltdown she released a cry of revenge and came after her formidable brother. She grabbed his upper arm and bit down on him so hard that he howled in pain and let that cake fall to the floor.

"You bloody weasel!" Durin yelped and pushed her off of him.

Rhianaye got her cake and holding it like treasure she run into the living room to get away from Durin who came after her. As they passed Bilbo's stool Rhianaye's foot knocked it over and Bilbo's hand drew a crooked line over his map. He glared at the kids and huffed. "Perfect! I was trying to make this bloody map all morning and they just destroyed it!"

Rhianaye and Durin circled the room twice screaming bloody murder and then came over to Dwalin who opened the door for them. They sprang out and Lis followed them uttering threats that had no real effect on the formidable twins. Dwalin closed the door behind him and rubbed his forehead. "If I hear one more scream I will murder them, I swear."

Balin sneakered. "Tell Thorin that."

Dwalin sat at one of the armchairs. "Is he still asleep?"

Balin nodded. "They both are."

Loa went straight to the kitchen to prepare some tea for everyone.

"Only he could sleep through all this racket! My head is about to explode!" Dwalin grumbled annoyed.

Balin flicked his shoulders. "I suppose they got so used to after so many years. Besides Lady Eilin still feels under the weather and needs to rest."

Dwalin exhaled trying to calm himself down. "She's still sick?"

Gandalf looked up and raised his brow.

Balin nodded. "Yes."

"We've been off the road for a week. Shouldn't she been feeling better by now?" Dwalin frowned.

Balin waved him off. "I am sure she will make a quick recovery. Don't forget the poor woman has three children to care for. She's always exhausted."

Dwalin nodded quietly. "You can say that again. I get exhausted just by thinking about them."

"Is the younger son sleeping too, then?" Gandalf asked.

Balin shook his head. "Lady Dis took Thrárin down at the lake to show him the Mill."

Gandalf exhaled the smoke calmly. "Thorin is lucky to have all these people around to help him with the children."

Balin pursed his lips. "He rarely uses the help. You don't know the rule master Gandalf."

Gandalf's eyebrows quirked with interest. "What rule?"

"What is in the family, remains in the family. Thorin and his wife are taking care of the children mostly alone. They rarely use any nannies, but when they do, they trust only Dis, Fili and lately Lis. No one else." Balin explained.

Gandalf laughed lightly. "That's why the twins are out of control, now I get it."

Dwalin laughed with him and Balin smirked, but it was Bilbo that spoke next. "Actually when Thorin is awake both these monsters behave like angels. It's mind boggling. I am tempted to keep Thorin awake all the time so I can get some peace of mind. When he falls asleep it's as if someone releases a levee and these children get into overdrive. Look at my poor painting!" He came over and gave it to Gandalf.

"Ravenhill?" Gandalf looked at it critically.

Bilbo crossed his arms. "Was..."

"Looks nice." Gandalf gave it back to him.

"Looked nice. Now the tower of Ravenhill just got another rolling hill right on top of it..." Bilbo said disappointed.

Balin waved him off. "You'll make another one."

Bilbo glowered at him and then looked at Dwalin for a few moments. "I heard commotion outside before. What happened?"

Dwalin flicked his shoulders. "Your mayor was having an argument with a rather dislikable man."

Bilbo crumbled up his map and threw it in the fireplace. "Otho, I recognised his voice. Obnoxious guy. Wish I could keep him away from tonight's feast."

"Lobelia's husband? The one who covets your house?" Gandalf smiled.

Bilbo's eyes thinned and he looked over his shoulder at a half open crate. After a few minutes of pondering he marched up to it and closed it tight, before locking it. "The same one. Maybe I could show Prince Durin a real thief and let him deal with her."

Gandalf laughed heartily. "Judging from what I saw, that woman will never come close to your home again then my dear Baggins."

Balin chuckled, but he didn't have enough time to talk, because the door opened up again and Durin came in, holding up the banners of war. He crashed the door behind him angrily.

"Hey, hey young master. Keep it down. Your parents are still asleep!" Balin warned.

Durin came over to him and grabbed the arm of his chair nervously. "Did you see what she did to me Lord Balin!?" He cried.

"Did you see what you both did to my map?" Bilbo raised his brow.

Durin looked at him lost for a few moments.

Bilbo pursed his lips. "You destroyed it by acting like two elephants in a stampede!"

Durin's little hands twisted around the arm of the chair. "I am sorry mister Baggins, but she stole my cake!" He pointed at the door.

"No matter what your sister did you need to keep it quiet!" Balin glowered at him.

"I can't! I need to beat her up so bad, it hurts!" Durin spat.

"Don't let your dad hear you speak like that about your sister." Balin warned quietly.

"Yeah as if his father wasn't doing the same things to his sister when he was a dwarfling." Dwalin chuckled at the memory of Thorin chasing after Dis in order to punch her face in.

Durin's eyes grew wide. "He did?!"

Balin glowered at his brother. "Don't fill the boy's head in with such fables! You are encouraging this behaviour!"

"Did he beat auntie Dis up, because she stole things from him?" Durin continued, without even trying to keep his voice down.

"I think they both beat each other up..." Dwalin laughed, without caring about Balin's advice.

Durin closed his mouth and fumed. Then his face grew red and he marched up to the door. "I am going to punch that cake out of her stomach, you just wait and see!"

Balin showed Dwalin the Prince. "See what you did?"

Dwalin raised his brows. "I didn't do that. He was pumped up already to do the little girl in."

"He's too fierce for his own good." Bilbo looked at the boy critically.

Durin glared at Bilbo angrily.

"A rather feisty young man. He has clearly taken after his stubborn father. Wonder how these two would collaborate in a battle together. That'd be a sight to see." Gandalf smirked behind his long pipe.

Durin pressed his lips and his fists tightened at the side of his thighs. "I will never allow my father to go into battle and get wounded!" He spat with determination.

Balin's eyes mellowed. "That was so sweet my boy and declared with your usual ferocity."

Dwalin humphed. "As I am sure your brother would do the same, but you see boy, Thorin Oakenshield is too valiant to hide behind anyone. Especially his sons."

Balin smiled at that. "And too protective towards his children, young Lord. Your father would probably prefer to die than see you boys shielding him."

"Till you come to your own, allow your father to guide you young man. He holds great wisdom." Gandalf leaned his elbows to his knees and looked thoughtfully at Durin.

Durin's brow clouded. "I always listen to my father, but I will also protect him when needed. Keep that in mind Mithrandir."

Gandalf leaned back looking rather pleased, despite the regnant waves that were escaping this young master. "I will. God forbid I fall on your bad side, Lord Durin. One day I may need your help concerning a very famous dwarrowdelf."

Durin raised his brow, partially confused.

"Remember...the grey wizard is on your side." Gandalf smirked and looked at Durin with satisfaction.

Bilbo nodded. "We may accuse Gandalf of being a meddling busybody, but we cannot accuse him of being an ignoramus."

Durin was fidgeting with the frill at the ends of his sleeves and was looking at the door nervously, having already forgotten what all these old men were talking about.

"What are you so troubled about now son? About the Dwarrowdelf that Gandalf mentioned?" Balin asked him quietly.

"My honey cake..." Durin spat, remembering how angry he was again.

"All this conversation about heroism and future endeavours was not enough to make you forget about desert?" Bilbo raised his brows.

"No!" Durin spat and moved to the door.

"He sure can hold a grudge." Gandalf rejoined quietly.

Balin nodded. "Especially against his sister."

Durin opened the door. "Rhianaye you little weasel I am coming!" He yelled and a far away screech pierced the walls.

Bilbo cupped his forehead. "There we go again..."

That is when a heavy and rather hoarse voice made Durin freeze with his hand on the door handle.

"Leave your sister alone and close the door...quietly..." came the warning, before Thorin made his rather sleepy appearance at the living room.

Durin closed the door as quietly as possible and remained like a statue next to it.

Bilbo sighed in relief. "Thank heavens you woke up."

Thorin turned to his son. "What is all this racket about?"

Durin frowned. "Rhianaye stole my cake!"

Thorin shook his head and rubbed his eyes. "Did you just wake me up for a bloody cake?"

Balin raised his brow at the Prince. "Told you to keep your voice down."

Durin huffed at the old advisor. "None of you seem to care that I am the one who is being treated unfairly here!"

Gandalf inhaled some smoke calmly. "Well, he is right."

Balin gave the wizard a careful side-glance. "Let his father handle him and don't interfere."

Gandalf raised his hands. "God forbid I share one word of wisdom with you people!"

Dwalin stood up and gave Thorin his seat, which the King took gratefully. He emptied himself on the armchair closest to the fire and leaned his head back. "Silence all of you!"

This time the authoritative command silenced not only the mighty Durin, but the whole room.

Thorin opened up his tired eyes and looked at his son. "Now explain what happened without raising your tone an inch more than appropriate."

"Rhianaye ate my cake." Durin said quietly.

"So that is why you are hollering for?" Thorin glowered.

"She ate my damned cake!" Durin stomped his foot down.

Thorin's eyes thinned. "Take care not to wake up your mother young man, and don't you dare curse again!"

Durin's lips pouted and he crossed his arms defensively. "I am sorry."

"So you are causing all this racket for a cake?"

"It was mine, I wanted it!"

"And I wanted to sleep and you woke me up. So what? Life is not fair, get used to it." Thorin waved Durin off.

"Why do you always act like that for her?!" Durin cried.

"Like what?" Thorin frowned.

"You are always excusing her no matter what she does! Even if she becomes a little thief! You don't even care that she stole my desert! If I had done that to her you would have punished me instantly!" Durin said and a few tears rolled down his cheeks. He wiped them away quickly, but stood fierce in front of his formidable father.

Thorin exhaled and rubbed his forehead. "Because she needs the extra food. Your sister is only skin and bones. She needs to gain weight."

"Not on my desert!" Durin rebuked.

"On anything..." Thorin shook his head.

"Fine! Then I need to gain weight too!" Durin rejoined stubbornly.

Thorin gave him the once-over and raised his brow. "No, you need to gain muscle. Why aren't you out training with Lis instead of waking up the whole house?"

Durin planted himself to the floor and glared at his dad. "I don't want to train unless I have my desert."

"In this manner you will not get lunch either. Be careful." Thorin voice turned a tone darker.

Durin looked at his crossed legs for a few moments before speaking. "Please?..."

Thorin tilted his head. "Loa are there anymore honey cakes in there?"

Loa sneaked a look from the archway. "No Sir. I baked one for each, because mister Bilbo was low on flour."

Bilbo's head bobbed disheartened. "Thank Eru one of you is thinking about my provisions."

Thorin looked at his friend for a couple of moments and then gazed thoughtfully at his son.

Durin sniffled and began picking on the hem of his pants. "There are only two dad. One for you and one for mom. Everybody else had their cake, except from me, just because Rhianaye wanted to have two! Is that fair?"

Thorin raised his brow at Balin who smiled and then addressed Loa. "Bring my honey cake along with some brew."

"Yes Sir!" she replied.

Thorin caressed the long braid of his beard. "Are you going to sit stubbornly in front of Bilbo's door until a new honey cake makes an appearance?"

Durin shook his head silently and sniffled.

"Are you angry?"

Durin nodded.

"At me?"

Durin shook his head, but stopped. Then he nodded softly.

Thorin leaned his head back. "At your sister?"

Durin nodded fiercely.

"You can sit here amongst us and be mad if you want. It's more comfortable master." Balin said calmly.

Durin shook his head.

"You intend to grow roots out of your bottom and become embedded in the house?" Dwalin chuckled.

Bilbo snorted. "That'd be interesting. Maybe I'll ask money from my neighbours in order to show them my new plant named Durin."

Thorin's lips cracked a soft smile as he took Loa's brew and his honey cake.

Durin frowned. "You are all making fun of me and I don't like it. It's not fair speaking like that for me, when I am not making fun of anyone!"

"Temper temper young man. Nobody is making fun of you. They are just trying to make you smile." Thorin warned.

Instantly Durin settled down, but he remained quiet.

Thorin placed the brew and his honey cake on a side table and leaned his elbows on his knees. "Where is your sister now?"

"Outside with Lis." Durin grumbled.

"Your little brother?" Thorin rejoined.

"Out with auntie Dis." Durin began picking on Bilbo's carpet.

Thorin settled back and raised his brow at Dwalin. "Then I suppose my lap is free."

Durin looked up sharply at his dad.

Thorin raised his brow and showed his arms invitingly.

Durin's lips parted, but he didn't move.

"Of course I expect you to deny. What great warrior would want to be seen, sitting on his father's lap like a baby." -Thorin said quietly with a knowledgeable smile and then looked at Dwalin- "Correct?"

Durin nibbled his bottom lip.

Dwalin caught up to the game. "No one. I hated when my father asked me to sit on his lap!"

Balin nodded. "Me too...how about you Bilbo?"

"Hated it, absolutely abhorred it. Of course I made my old man sad whenever I denied." Bilbo said cleverly.

Thorin smiled at him.

Durin looked at the Hobbit. "Sad?"

Bilbo nodded. "Tears were running down his eyes. He couldn't get used to the idea that he was losing his young boy. You see I was slowly becoming a young man and I didn't want any hugs, but maybe I could have avoided breaking his heart a couple of times at that young age, now that I think about it."

Gandalf inhaled some smoke. "Parents feel so terrible when their children reject them."

Durin stood up and cleared his pants. "I am not rejecting my father..." He sounded full of guilt suddenly.

Thorin raised both brows.

Bilbo crossed his arms. "Yeah, but do you love him hard enough to sacrifice one small embrace in front of his mightiest commanders?"

Durin looked at everyone, but finally his eyes fell to his father. Then he ran quickly and buried himself in Thorin's arms.

Thorin enfolded his son on his chest and cleared up his long black hair from his sweaty brow. "Isn't this more comfortable?" He kissed his son's burning brow gently.

Durin nodded and grabbed Thorin's tunic like he was always doing when he was a baby. "Can you forgive me for waking you up?" he asked quietly.

"I don't mind that at all, but there is someone else you have to ask forgiveness from..." Thorin gave Durin another gentle kiss on his cheek.

"Rhianaye..." -Durin hissed- "Of course, even though she was a little thief."

Thorin pressed Durin firmly on his chest. "And she has to ask forgiveness from you."

Durin looked up. "She does?!" He frowned.

"Of course. She stole your honey cake so she asks your forgiveness first. Deal?" Thorin gave his son a lopsided smile.

Durin's lips curled up timidly. "Deal."

Thorin straightened Durin's tunic affectionately. "I don't want you to fight with each other. Your are siblings and blood runs thicker than water son. You must all support and love each other, no matter what happens now or what may happen in the years to come."

Durin averted his eyes and began playing with his father's beard braid. "Didn't you fight with auntie Dis? Lord Dwalin said you did."

Thorin raised his brow. "We fought a lot, but now in retrospect I regret it. I loved my sister no matter that she made my life hell sometimes and truth be told I was very unfair to her more than a few times."

Durin's lips turned down. "I am being unfair with Rhianaye sometimes too, but she's also unfair with me."

"She's your sister. I don't expect you not to argue, but you need to be the first one to control those tense moments. You are the oldest and the wisest. If you cannot act your age, how can you expect Rhianaye to do so and moreover Thrárin who always looks up to you." Thorin continued with the same measured tone of voice.

Durin nodded. "I know."

"Anger is just a feeling. Embrace it, experience it, but learn how to control it before it consumes you. Set the example for your siblings, but also for the people you will one day rule." Thorin cupped his son's cheek and lifted up his head.

Durin nodded. "I will try my best dad."

Thorin smiled and gave him a curt nod. "That's more like the Durin I know."

An honest smile dawned in Durin's face.

Thorin looked at him thoughtfully for a few moments. "Are you still hungry for a honey cake?"

Durin's eyes sparkled. "Yes I am!"

Thorin took his desert and gave it to his boy. "Enjoy."

Durin looked at it longingly for a few moments, but didn't try to take it. "Don't you want to it?"

Thorin shook his head. "Not in the mood for food. I got my brew."

Durin fell on Thorin and planted a fierce kiss on his cheek. "Thank you dad!"

Thorin nudged him and Durin jumped off his lap. "Go out with your sister, before you end up waking up your mom."

"Alright dad..." Durin whispered with a mouthful of cake. He placed his finger on his mouth to silence everyone and tiptoed to the door.

"And don't let me hear a single word from you guys out there, understand?!" Thorin glowered.

"Yes." Durin nodded eagerly and closed the door gently behind him.

Thorin leaned his head back and rubbed his forehead.

The first one to talk was Dwalin. "After all this excitement I feel pepped up. I am going out to help Lis with the kids."

Loa gave him a grateful look above her shoulder which he reciprocated briefly, before resuming his usual forbidding countenance. When he saw the eloquent look that Thorin gave him he humphed and walked to the door.

"Close it quietly." Thorin warned him.

Dwalin waved him off, but did as he was told.

Bilbo took Dwalin's seat and rubbed his hands in front of the fire. "One cannot deny that your boy is fierce."

Thorin tilted his head. "Fierce just doesn't cut it."

Gandalf chuckled. "I can believe that."

Thorin offered him a ghostly smile and tasted his brew. "His sister is equally fierce and she's always on his case. I truly cannot blame his meltdowns sometimes. She can become overwhelming no matter her small size."

Balin nodded. "She finds ways to sneak around Durin and do her thing. I don't blame the prince either."

Bilbo raised his brows. "He needs to control that fierceness though. He almost brought the house down. Him and his sister."

"He needs to find ways to channel it." Thorin said quietly.

Bilbo shook his head. "I don't envy you having to father that boy."

Thorin pursed his lips. "He's just a kid. A loving kid that feels lost at times. One day he is a serious warrior prince in the making and the next a very hurt dwarfling..."

Gandalf smiled. "Not much different than all the other dwarflings in his age then."

Thorin looked at him and his lips curled up. "More or less...just a bit more difficult to control."

"You could be a little more stern with him." Bilbo raised his brows.

"I am stern enough when needed. I don't want to break his spirit." Thorin rejoined.

Balin rubbed his thighs thoughtfully. "Truth is that no one can control prince Durin as well as his father does. Not even his mother."

"Speaking of that, I hope she didn't wake up from this pandemonium." Thorin raised his brow.

"Is she feeling any better?" Bilbo looked at his friend.

"She was dizzy all through the night. Slept at the early hours of dawn, that's why I don't want anyone to bother her." Thorin frowned.

"Don't worry son, it was the journey. The roads were too rough on her. I am sure when she wakes up she's going to be feeling better." Balin tried to reassure him.

"It's been a week since we arrived and she still feels unwell. That is not something I like." Thorin sounded troubled.

"Maybe Gandalf should take a look at her." Bilbo said thoughtfully.

"Maybe he should." Thorin turned to the wizard and stood up.

"Of course." Gandalf tilted his head.

"Where are you going?" Balin asked.

"I am going to try and sleep again." Thorin rejoined and walked to the antechamber.

"Go, we will keep the kids outside, don't worry. You both need to be well rested for the feast this evening." Bilbo smiled at him.

Thorin reciprocated the smile. "Thank you my dear Bilbo."

Balin stood up also. "I stand guard over that door and I won't allow anyone in, unless you both wake up."

Thorin crossed his arms and smiled brightly. "Thanks Balin."

Gandalf quickly followed. "I need to go check on my fireworks."

Bilbo took off his housecoat and grabbed his vest. "And I need to go check on the decorations, wait for me!" He followed Gandalf and Balin to the door.

"It's going to be spectacular tonight isn't it?" Bilbo asked.

"If you people provide me with enough mead and Old Toby I don't care about anything else." Balin said.

"I have prepared my best fireworks for tonight, including the phoenix." Gandalf laughed quietly.

"What gun powder are you using for the fireworks?" Balin leaned near the wizard interested.

"The usual." Gandalf rejoined.

"What chemicals do you use to colour it?" Balin continued and the door closed behind Thorin.

He exhaled and looked at Loa who was working quietly in the kitchen. "Thank you for the honey cakes." He said.

She looked at him above her shoulder. "My pleasure Sir. Go rest, I won't bother you." She said.

* * *

_Eilin kicked the leafy ground hard and her swing lifted almost up to the white clouds in the sky. She felt her long hair waving above her shoulders and covering her face and a giggle of happiness escaped her as the swing swept down close to the ground again. Another kick and she was almost touching the leafs on the tall branches of the oak tree. As her swing came down again she concentrated hard on managing to grasp one of the branches and tear some leafs off. She kicked hard and her fingers skimmed the hard wood. Then she was down again and her strong legs pushed her even higher. This time her fist wrapped around the leafs and she tore them away with a victorious cry. Her boots dug hard into the ground and her swing's speed broke immediately. Eilin grasped the ropes tightly and raised her eyes at the darkness that was behind the door of her family home as slowly part of her happiness began evaporating. She closed her eyes and inhaled the fresh air deeply, wanting to forget about those shadows that never came anymore at the entrance of the door. She wanted to believe that this time her father wouldn't exit in order to sit at that half broken stool with his back to her, waiting for her to go talk to him. A ghostly smile appeared on her pale lips and she lifted up her legs and allowed the swing to lose momentum on it's own. When finally it stopped after several moments, Eilin kept her eyes closed and her brows rippled with uncertainty. She had a feeling that if she opened her eyes, she wouldn't be alone. She released the ropes and crossed her hands on her lap, deciding that the best course of action was for her to keep her eyes sealed tight. The breeze caressed the side of her face and she delighted in the softness of her long locks teasing the goose-trails of her eyes. Oh, how much she wanted to open her eyes to see no one standing in front of the door or sitting close to it. Her lips scrounged as she enjoyed the touch of the wind on her face and her eyes cracked timidly hoping for the best, but her heart dropped as usual._

_He was there, sitting with his back turned to her. There was a huge sword in a leather sheathe on his back and a war axe hanging from his wide belt. His long red curly hair, so much resembling hers was braided and was adorned by few plain beads. She couldn't see his face, but she could make out that this time he was not simply just sitting there ignoring her. It seemed like he was fixing something._

_Her fingers twisted nervously around each other and she bit hard on her bottom lip. A strong urge to talk to him rushed over her as it did every time and she tried hard to wake herself up, because she knew this was a dream. She began pinching herself and poking her arms hoping that she would wake up in Thorin's arms, but this time for some reason nothing was working. Nothing would have stopped her efforts to wake up, but his voice._

_"Don't do that."_

_She inhaled sharply and her eyes grew wide, but she remained silent._

_"Stop hurting yourself." The red headed warrior rejoined._

_Eilin's lips curled up. "It took you long enough to care that I am hurting myself." She couldn't help but sound bitter._

_The man turned his head slightly and she caught a glimpse of his profile. Her body broke out in goosebumps. "Your are bitter."_

_She felt her jawline flexing. "And you are absent."_

_The man turned around and began working again. "Yes, I was."_

_Eilin huffed. "That's it? No painful declarations of forgiveness? No falling on your knees begging me for mercy?"_

_The man stopped for a moment and then shook his head. "No."_

_Eilin closed her eyes that instantly burned hot. "Of course, as usual...indifference."_

_"Don't be so quick to judge." The man rebuked heavily._

_"Judge what? The past? I don't care about the past, I care about the present. Even now you are not willing to do something to approach me."_

_The man's shoulders undulated with his deep sigh. "Don't assume."_

_Eilin felt her skin becoming colder. "Tell me why are you tormenting me this way? Why are you coming in my dreams all the time?"_

_The man resumed his work once more. "Because you are asking for me."_

_Eilin's breath hitched and she averted her eyes. "I don't want to do it."_

_"Yet you do." The man continued._

_Eilin's head snapped back up. "I won't ask forgiveness for that!"_

_The man's voice remained calm. "Of course you shouldn't."_

_Eilin looked at his strong body and at his wide shoulders. "What are you doing there?" She asked after a very long time._

_"Carving some wood." The man rejoined._

_"I didn't know you could carve..." Eilin took an involuntary step closer._

_"Few ever found out."_

_"Was that your trade?" Eilin's nervous fingers began playing with her red apron._

_The man nodded._

_"So what are you trying to make now?" Eilin took another step._

_"A crib..." The man's voice trailed._

_"Whatever for?" Eilin frowned._

_"For you." The man replied._

_Eilin's lips cracked a ghostly smile. "I am not a baby anymore dad. You left me a baby and now I am a woman."_

_"I don't expect you to sleep in it, but maybe use it." The man stopped and offered her his handsome profile again._

_Eilin's brow wrinkled in confusion. "Use it for whom?"_

_The man's lips curled up. "My grandson."_

_Eilin's eyes closed and she sighed. "Both your grandsons are too old to be placed in a crib dad."_

_"It's for the one who will be honour part of my name." The man said and began carving again._

_Eilin crossed her arms and felt rather irritated. "You are so conceited if you believe that I would ever gift my children with your name. You abandoned me!"_

_The man stopped working and looked at her sideways. "Ask for questions and you shall find answers, but don't assume."_

_Eilin threw her hands down and glared at him. "I wish you had remained a damned shadow at the entrance of that door. You are too real for comfort now."_

_The man turned around slowly and Eilin's heart dropped at how much she resembled him. His expressive green eyes gazed at her calmly and his mouth spoke between his thick braided red beard. "You asked for questions already, why did you stop there?"_

_Eilin closed her mouth so hard that her jawline ached and she felt tears rolling down her cheeks. "Because I don't want to know anymore about you."_

_"Yet you brought me this close. How can you expect me to disappear now?" the impressive ginger warrior frowned._

_"I expect you to disappear with the same ease you did when I was born. Just do it! Leave!" She dared him._

_The man leaned back and crossed his arms. "It's your dream, your destiny, your fate. Either you bring me closer or you make me disappear. I cannot do it for you, I am sorry."_

_Eilin pressed the heels of her palms on her eyes firmly. "Damn you!" She cried._

-.-

"Hey, wake up..." Thorin's soft voice murmured next to her ear.

She shuddered and opened her eyes. Instantly her father's face evaporated as her eyes took in the beloved face of her husband. She reached up and wrapped her arms behind his nape tightly. "Hi..." She whispered.

He leaned down and gifted her mouth with a caring kiss that she reciprocated wholeheartedly. "Bad dream again?" He drew back and gazed at her.

She looked intensely at his beautiful azure eyes, trying to forget through them the green eyes of her father. She nodded. "Yes." She exhaled.

Thorin's fingers coasted down her neckline tenderly. "Your family house?"

She sighed deeply and tunnelled her fingers through his mane. She gave him another nod.

His lips twisted troubled. "Where there shadows this time?"

She felt her breath catching and she shook her head. "This time I saw him again."

"Sitting with his back to you?"

She nodded and pulled him down so he could honour her neck with a sensual peck that erupted goosebumps on her skin. "Yes." She said with a hushed tone.

He leaned on his elbow and granted her skin with dozens of small kisses that led his mouth up to her cheek. There his lips lingered. "I am sorry honey."

She pressed the back of his head and shivered at the warmth of his breath close to her ear. "This time he talked to me."

Thorin drew back and looked at her with a frown. "What did he tell you?"

Eilin inhaled deeply. "Whatever my mind commanded him to tell me apparently."

Thorin's lips turned down and his eyes looked at her acutely. "This nightmare just cannot leave you alone."

Eilin looked at him steadily and then flicked her shoulder. "I won't leave it alone either."

He got ready to answer to her, but she placed a finger to his mouth, delighting at the softness of his lips. "Forget about the dream. Now tell me was that Durin's voice at the hallway before?" She whispered.

"Yes."

"Was he fighting with his sister again?" Eilin kissed his neck.

"Yes."

"Is it over?" she continued.

He pulled her head on him tenderly. "Yes."

"Is Thrárin asleep?" Eilin murmured.

"Dis has him." He rubbed his bearded chin on her mane. "If you exclude that damned dream, how are you feeling?"

Her pretty lips formed a faded smile. "I feel very well actually."

He exhaled and closed his eyes. "No dizziness anymore?"

She shook her head and squeezed him tight. "Nope."

"No need to empty your stomach?" he continued.

Another shake of her head. "No honey, I feel well."

His body relaxed around hers. "Good." He sounded truly relieved.

Her heart rejoiced at how caring he still was with her, no matter how many years have passed. It took her a few moments to speak again though. "Can I ask you something?"

"Hmmm." His voice vibrated through her torso and made her stomach revolve deliciously around itself.

"Did you ever regret having so many kids with me?"

He frowned and pulled up in order to be able to look in her eyes. "What are you talking about?"

She cringed. "Trying to settle down some fears of mine."

He cupped her cheek and nudged her. "Haven't I told you many times that I longed to have a big family with you?"

Her lips broke into a sweet smile. "You have."

"Then what the hell are you asking?" he frowned annoyed.

Her fingers toyed with the hair on his nape. "Before the kids we were so carefree...so...so devoted to each other..." she tired to explain, but he spoke over her.

"We are still devoted to each other, but also to our children. I see no harm in that." He raised his brow in austerity, but his warm palm brushed her cheek affectionately.

She nibbled her bottom lip thoughtfully. "So you don't regret having all those kids waking us up...not allowing us a private moment..."

He smirked teasingly. "Well that might be something I do regret slightly."

She grinned. "Would more children change your mind, maybe?"

He leaned on his elbow and cleared some thick curls away from her brow. "More?" His lips curled up in a teasing smile.

Eilin looked at him anxiously and gave him a soft nod.

He flicked his shoulders calmly. "Nope."

Eilin inhaled deeply and pulled herself up to gift his neck with a doting kiss. "You don't regret having so many kids, yet my father...he couldn't even support one..." -her voice was diminished.- "I sometimes feel so confused. On one hand I don't want to know if he is still alive and on the other I wish I could see him."

He pressed his lips and pulled her in his arms tightly. "I can still search for him Eilin. I told you many times that I can do it. I have the knowledge and the means, if you allow me. He could still be alive somewhere out there..."

A strong shudder run through her body and he felt it, but she remained silent.

"I can understand your reasons for not wanting to meet him, but maybe that is what you need in order to have a closure." He said quietly and his long fingers bore through her hair.

It took her a long time to answer and Thorin remained silently patient. Caressing her head gently and empathising with her internal battle. He wasn't sure she was going to answer. Usually she never did and they ended up burying this painful subject again and again, until it resurfaced through a dream once more. So he closed his eyes, as time rolled by, feeling certain that soon she'd fall asleep again, but this time she managed to surprise him.

"Maybe you should..." She whispered

His heart skirted and he pulled back to look into her eyes who gazed at him steadily. "Do you mean it?"

Her hand cupped his cheek and she pulled him down until his lips lingered hot above hers. She gave him a soft nod. "Yes..."

"As your command my lady." He closed his eyes and kissed her deeply then and she felt as if that kiss blew away all the restraints in her heart. She drew him down, until his strong body pressed her hard against the mattress. Thorin knew that she gave him permission to pursue the most painful thread of her life and he hoped he didn't end up hurting her more with what he would discover eventually. As for her...she closed her eyes and wrapped her body around his, grateful that he was willing to lift away all that burden from her soul and help her find some form of closure, whatever that may be.


	75. Durin's new bane

That evening's feast was so grand almost all of the Shire attended. Everyone joined the fun and by the time the sun had set behind the rolling hills, the Party field was full of blithe people that shared good ale, food, conversation and the dance floor between them. Dwarves and Hobbits at the start of the feast were separated at different tables and the designated areas were created in such a manner as to show distinction when one was due. The Thain of the Shire, his family and all his close relatives sat near the elaborate table that was meant for the King of the North and his family.

The Thain gave out a very long speech in the King's honour, but by the end of that speech Ferumbras the third was forced to step down as his people demanded for the music to start playing and for all the typicalities to seize. After they got over the initial awkwardness everybody began loosening up rather quickly. Those who drunk the most, had the least inhibitions, so Thorin's soldiers became a rather formidable competition soon for everyone around. By the fourth cup of mead, a happy energy began rippling through field and by the end of the official dinner most tables were full of people who laughed heartily, smoked and engaged in heated conversations. The dance floor was full of couples dancing and mothers were chasing after their children who were determined to create havoc in the tents that held the food and the ale barrels.

Thorin's soldiers spread out and partook in the games of their hosts, mainly displaying representations of strength and stamina. Either by lifting huge logs and throwing them further than any Hobbit would be able to manage or by drinking too much and smoking even more. Soon enough the tables seized being designated areas of distinction and everybody choose where they wanted to sit according to whose company they enjoyed the most, or what activity they wanted to partake in.

That is how Dis found the chance to abandon the royal table in order to make her way rather shyly to Dongar's company, with little Thrárin in tow. She thanked the heavens that his comrades had left in order to participate in a rather brutal boxing game that had drawn a large group of Hobbits as spectators. Dongar stood up the moment she approached and offered her a seat next to him, which she took. They engaged in a quiet conversation, as Dis was trying to convince Thrárin to put down the third ham sandwich.

"You are going to grow fat and slow, put it down. You are a warrior prince, not a sloth in the making son. Your mother will be mad at you for eating so much." Dis chastised.

"I am hungry auntie." Thrárin's lips pouted.

Dis patted his round belly. "You have so much food in there it can last you for months. How can you be hungry?"

Thrárin pushed her hand away and giggled. "I am ticklish."

Dis sighed and her lips cracked a soft smile of reproach, but she allowed the boy to devour his sandwich. "Are you hungry or ticklish? Decide!" She teased him.

Thrárin screeched and then laughed heartily. "Both!"

Dis laughed with him.

Dongar looked at his hands and then at the princess. "You look so happy right now my Lady."

She frowned at him, but the smile never left her lips. "Happy?"

Dongar nodded. "You look so different from the first time I met you. I will never forget that moment."

Dis' smile turned sad and she caressed Thrárin's back. "That day I was at death's door. I had just lost my son and I didn't know if I was going to also lose my brother."

Dongar nodded. "The recovery you made since then is spectacular."

Dis flicked her shoulders. "I had a lot of help." -She smiled at Thrárin- "From my family and my friends, but above all from time."

Dongar swallowed heavily and it took him a several moments to have the resolution to speak his most timid thoughts. "I know it's presumptuous of me, but did I perchance help in any manner?"

Dis nibbled her bottom lip and felt her cheeks flushing. "You most certainly did, Lieutenant."

Dongar smiled and stopped Thrárin at the last moment from toppling over the edge of the table. "Will you believe me if I tell you that my need to protect you had been strong since the first moment I met you?"

Dis' lips curled up sweetly. "I will, Lieutenant."

"Can you please call me Dongar?" He looked into her beautiful azure eyes and felt his breath catching.

She averted her gaze from his. "I don't think that is appropriate."

"When will it be appropriate then...?" He frowned.

Dis looked up with a frown of her own. "What do you mean?"

"I've known you for ten years. Ten years, not ten days, nor ten months. For ten years I've waited patiently for you to mourn the loss of your family with the vague hope that one day you might see something more in me than just a loyal soldier." Dongar's voice turned almost desperate.

Dis felt her brow wrinkling. "I never approached you, because I didn't want to take out on you all the pain that I felt inside."

Dongar exhaled and pushed the prince further inside the table protectively. "But I have seen all that pain and tried to be there to support you."

Dis looked up at him timidly, but remained silent.

"I suffered through all the mishandling of our King just because I wanted to have a chance with you. I waited patiently, hoping that you would see me as more than just a friend." Dongar continued and his eyes burrowed in hers.

Dis felt her hands becoming cold.

"Do you comprehend that you are my One?" Dongar's voice turned low, but decisive.

Dis inhaled sharply and searched for his eyes.

"If you don't accept my honest confession I will stop trying, but you will forever be my One. I shall not try to find another." Dongar tilted his head and reached behind his head to pull out one of his beads. He looked at it for a few moments and then offered it to her.

Dis' voice cracked. "Your bead..."

"Either you take it, or you reject. Everything is up to you. My feelings for you though shall remain untouched." Dongar told her gently.

Dis' eyes filled with tears. "I have my brother to answer to...my son..."

Dongar reached out and held tightly her hand in his. She felt her whole body numb. "Your brother has his own family, your son is going to wed soon...how about you? Don't you need something more out of life?"

Dis closed her eyes and her hand tightened behind Thrárin's back. "I have the children of my brother to raise."

Dongar remained silent for a few moments before he lifted her hand to his mouth and gave it a gentle kiss. "I can help you with that, if you allow me."

Dis' heart skirted. "Isn't it too late for me now?"

Dongar shook his head. "It's never too late."

Dis swallowed a tight throat and closed her eyes. "I want to accept this so much..."

"Then do so...I am here. I have always been here...all this time. I failed you only once and I lived to regret my shortcomings every single day. I try to redeem myself from that mistake every single breathing second that life offers me." Dongar's passionate voice seemed to finally break through to her.

Her fingers stippled around his and his bead touched her palm. She inhaled sharply. "With Nyrthrasir?"

Dongar nodded and his eyes welled.

Dis looked into his hazel eyes and the sweetest smile she could master appeared on her pale lips. "It's over now...forget it."

Dongar exhaled and lowered his head. "Every single moment of my life was dedicated to you ever since I met you, believe me."

Dis licked her bottom lip and removed her hand from his, but she kept his bead in her palm.

His eyes filled with regret when he felt her drawing away, but she didn't allow him to fall into darkness. She beamed up to him and found one of her braids. She removed her bead and placed his on it's end.

Dongar felt like a hand squeezed around his heart and stopped all the blood from pumping through it. "Dis?" He whispered.

Dis looked at him with affection. "Your bead is beautiful and it rather suits my hair, don't you think?"

Dongar blanched and his lips parted. He remained looking at her like a fool.

Dis reached out and cupped his cheek. Just feeling his beard scratching her palm send a wave of thrill down her spine and no matter how anxious she was for opening up her life into another adventure, she was also brimming with anticipation. She drew him down and gave a soft kiss at the side of his mouth that left him baffled and mute. Then she buried her head under his chin and waited. "Well...is this how our relationship will go? With you frozen like a statue every time I kiss you?"

Dongar's arms came fiercely around her and he enfolded her close to his heart with an enthusiasm that warmed up her very soul. "I cannot believe this..." He murmured.

She sighed and closed her eyes. "You need to give me time. We cannot hurry through this please."

He lifted up her hand and placed a tender kiss on it's back. "I've waited for ten years, I can wait a whole lifetime for you!" He rejoined ardently.

Dis looked into his eyes for a few moments. Maybe...just maybe she could give herself the chance to love again now that nobody else needed her. She smiled softly up to him and her fingers caressed the hairpin of his mouth. "Tell me my brother is watching us right now."

Dongar looked behind her and shook his head. "He's playing the harp."

Dis closed her eyes and sighed. She felt him leaning down to offer her a kiss. His warm breath planed down the side of her cheek and tingled her neck and her whole body tensed in expectation, but Thrárin ruined the moment for them.

He shuffled to climb down from table and Dis pulled away from Dongar, who rolled his eyes partly amused, partly irritated that he didn't get a change to adorn the princess' mouth with the wet kiss he longed so much.

Dis frowned. "Where do you think you are going young man?"

Thrárin pointed at Thorin and began jumping up and down with excitement. "I want to go to daddy!" He cried and tried to pull his arm free from Dis' tight grip.

Dis pulled him over in order to straighten up his long red braid and then licked her finger in order to clear some bread crumbs from the side of his mouth. "Leave your father alone to have a moment of peace for Mahal's holy beard."

Dongar leaned his chin on his hand and smiled. "We could use a moment of peace also, don't you think?" He said slyly.

Dis' pressed her lips, but the look she gave him was playful. "Control yourself."

Dongar grinned. "At your orders!"

Dis snorted and Thrárin pulled his head away from her wet finger disgusted. "Let me go auntie! I want to go play the harp with dad!"

"Oh, for heaven's sake you kids are going to drive him insane in the end!" Dis glowered at the boy.

Dongar engaged her elbow and thusly allowed Thrárin to run free. "Let him go, I want you to myself for a moment."

Dis glared at Thrárin for a few moments, but when she felt Dongar's lips skimming the soft skin of her temple she closed her eyes and sighed in delight.

Thrárin dashed into the dancing floor and missed Lis by a hair's inch.

"Hey young prince, be careful!" She cried and Thrárin turned around to give her a most formidable frown that resembled Thorin so much it would make Durin feel dangerously jealous.

Lis humphed and came over to the table where her mom was sitting with Lord Dwalin. She placed the mugs nervously on it, spilling half of them. "Here!"

"What is with this attitude young woman?!" Loa glared at her.

"I brought you the drinks, what more do you want?" Lis crossed her arms and looked around in order to locate Prince Durin whom she found quickly as he was with his mother and sister practicing archery.

"I want better attitude from you!" Loa grumbled.

Dwalin raised his brow and drank some ale.

Lis threw her hands in the air. "I have all hell loose in my hands and I also have you asking me for mead. I am not supposed to leave prince Durin alone at all!"

Loa glared at her daughter. "Oh, get over yourself. I did everything for you all these years, it's not a big deal asking you to bring me a mug of ale!"

Lis placed her hand on her wide belt and pushed her rather voluminous sword aside. "If you haven't noticed I have a very serious job to do!"

"Which is also making you very moody!" Loa rebuked.

Lis grumbled a curse under her breath. "You are the one who is making me moody. You are not taking my obligations seriously!" She spat and marched up to the prince.

Loa picked up her mug and spilt half of it on her apron.

Dwalin took up a napkin and wiped it off. "Calm down."

Loa glared at him. "Did you hear her insolence?"

Dwalin nodded calmly. "She is a young dwarrowdam trying to find her footing in this world, give her some slack."

"She was not like that when she was little you know...only lately has she become this insufferable. I think she is trying too hard to impress Prince Durin."

"Well she is not under your control anymore, if you haven't noticed." Dwalin raised his brow and leaned back to enjoy his mead again.

Loa's eyes fell on her daughter who was trying to help Prince Durin align the bow with the arrow. "She is still too young to act this way."

Dwalin raised both brows. "She acts this way, because she needs you to allow her to grow up."

Loa turned at him fuming. "Do you imply that I don't?"

Dwalin met her eyes unfazed. "I do not imply...I am stating that as a fact."

Loa crossed her arms, but remained silent even though she was boiling inside.

Dwalin exhaled patiently. "I am not Lis' father so I don't think I am allowed to express my opinion in all this...still..."

Loa reached out and grasped his hand suddenly.

He froze and looked down at it silently.

Loa was not looking at him as she steepled her fingers through his. "You have done so already on various occasions and you know I care about your opinion even though I may sound too bitchy sometimes with my own daughter."

Dwalin nodded and spoke after a few moments. "I know you want to keep her as your little girl forever, but you do know she aspires to be the bodyguard of a formidable royal figure right?"

Loa remained silent.

Dwalin continued calmly. "I am the bodyguard to another formidable royal figure and I can attest that this job needs balls of steel. You cannot become the first guard of such legendary men and appear to be indecisive and weak in front of them! They are going to devour you and then spit out your bones. Lis doesn't need her mom all the time getting in her case. Allow her grow my dear woman. I can understand you lost your husband and you don't want to lose her too, but she needs her personal space."

Loa gritted her teeth, but didn't draw her hand away from Dwalin's. "You have no children yet...you cannot know the suffering a mother has to go through to see her child grow up..."

Dwalin tilted his head. "I can see the pain of a daughter. That is enough for me."

Loa looked up at him lost.

He smiled down at her. "Give her a chance to prove herself to Thorin. She has already proved herself to me, but that's not enough. I've been training her for ten years along with several other soldiers and I can attest that your daughter has the heart of a lion. She has become the best sword trainee in her group and she's also a formidable rider that can deal with rather large horses. Loa your daughter has a lot of potential, if only you can allow her to try. I am here to help her so let me. Have I ever let her down?"

Loa shook her head sadly.

"Have I ever let you down?" He pulled her hand.

She looked up and smiled at him. "No."

"Then trust me in this, alright?" Dwalin raised his brows at her.

Loa sighed deeply. "She will manage to be Durin's bodyguard you think? He's always overpowering her."

Dwalin leaned back and released Loa's hand who looked at him regretfully for a few moments. "She will be not only his bodyguard, but also possibly a very close friend of his. Look at them." Dwalin pointed at Lis who was giggling with Durin as the string of the bow came undone.

Loa sighed as her eyes gazed wistfully at her daughter. "Maybe you are right, my dear."

Dwalin looked at her sideways with raised brows. "My dear?"

Loa straightened her hair and pursed her lips, but remained silent.

Dwalin snorted. "No matter the strong facade you put up for others, I know you have a heart of gold hiding in there." He pointed at her bosom.

Loa's lips curled up slightly and she pointed at prince Thrárin. "Forget my heart of gold and tell me what is that little devil doing with that puppy?"

Dwalin raised his brow critically. "He's leading it straight to his dad...although I think that is an actual wolf cub..."

Loa's lips pressed testily. "I swear these kids are way too much sometimes."

Dwalin chuckled and enjoyed his mead heartily. "You can say that twice."

-.-

Thorin placed his palms and stopped the strings of the harp and his prominent spectators declared their disappointment immediately, but Thorin's eyes were solely on his son who was dragging a little pup by a rather threadbare collar. "Look what I found daddy!"

"What is this?" Thorin asked.

Thrárin looked up with his huge expressive azure eyes. "A puppy..."

Thorin hummed unimpressed. "What is he doing with you then?"

Thrárin smiled bright and released the pup's collar, who began sniffing Thrárin's leather boots. "He followed me."

Thorin raised his brow. "Followed you or got dragged by you?"

Thrárin tilted his head briefly and then as if deciding he beamed up to his father and clapped his hands. "Followed me!"

Thorin pushed the harp until it rested on it's foot down and Ferumbras the third intervened. "Why did you stop playing my King? Your music is enchanting."

Thorin pointed elegantly at his son. "Got a puppy situation here mayor that needs my utmost attention..."

Ferumbras bowed respectfully and gathered all the distinct members of the Shire a little further off to give Thorin some time with his son. Otho though found the opportunity to speak out before they left. "That's a wolf's cub your majesty!"

Thorin looked back at him casually. "Obviously. How come does it have a collar?"

"Some farmers found him at the Overhill. His mom was hunted down, but they found pity on the cub and brought him in. Still he is no pet for children. He's a wolf in the making." Otho placed his hands on his waist and frowned.

Ferumbras grabbed him by the arm and dragged him away. "I am sure his majesty knows all that. He doesn't need our opinion. Now come on!"

Otho pointed at the young prince. "Take that wolf away from the Prince before he eats him up for dinner, your Majesty!"

"Take your dark energy away from our guests before I make you eat instead!" Ferumbras grumbled and shoved him away.

Thorin turned to his son who was kneeling down petting the cub. "You think he's hungry?"

Thrárin looked up to his father with wide eyes. "He's licking my hand, does he want to eat me like that man said?"

Thorin smiled and reached out to take some left-overs from the table. He gave a small piece of meat to his son. "He's too young to eat you, but he'll like this. Give it to him."

Thrárin took it and dangled it above the cub's head, making him jump up and down in order to get it. It's wail was long drawn and wolfish like, but too weak yet. "If he grows up will he try to eat me?" Thrárin placed the meat in front of the cub who devoured it and then lifted up on his hind legs begging for more.

"You are going to be all grown up too, so no he won't be able to eat you then either." Thorin gave him some more meat.

Thrárin gave it to the cub and started petting it. "Can we keep him then?"

Thorin raised his brow. "You want a pet wolf?"

"Yes daddy! He can sleep in my room. I can train him and he can be my bodyguard like Lis is Durin's bodyguard! I can call him...call him...call him..." Thrárin became more excited with each new idea that was popping into his little head.

Thorin waited patiently, but nothing could have prepared him for what followed.

"Thror...can we call him Thror?" Thrárin cried.

Thorin exhaled hard. "You want to gift this wolf cub with the glorious name of your forefather?" The idea sounded ludicrous to him.

"Yes! Can we daddy?"

The cub ate every piece of meat Thrárin gave it and then licked the boy's fingers.

Thorin pulled Thrárin on his lap. "Have you asked your mother?"

Thrárin sat comfortably and began kicking the air. His eyes were moving between the harp and the cub who was sniffing around Thorin's boots. "Noooooo..." he mumbled and tried to dig a booger out of his nose with his finger.

Thorin pulled a napkin from the table and covered Thrárin's nose. "Blow..." -he said and the boy did so- "Don't use your hands, that's not proper manners."

Thrárin did as he was told, but didn't forget the most important thing for him. "He's so cute, can we keep him please?"

"As if we didn't have enough members in our family, we also need a wolf added in it." Thorin mumbled under his breath.

"Thror!" Thrárin beamed back to his dad and made to grab the harp.

Thorin tilted it over to them gently. "Don't kick the instrument, you will destroy the strings and no you are not giving your great grandfather's name to this cub."

"Can I keep him though?" Thrárin's lip pouted.

"I need to talk with your mother about that one first." Thorin raised his brow and looked fleetingly at the cub who circled itself a couple of times and then laid down next to Thorin's boots and placed it's muzzle above it's paws quietly.

"When can you talk to her about him?" Thrárin grinned and Thorin delighted at his son's toothless mouth.

"You don't have any patience do you?" he asked quietly.

Thrárin shook his head fiercely and his long braid almost came undone. "Nope daddy!"

"Well at least you are honest..." -Thorin rejoined thoughtfully and straightened his son's stiff fingers- "Don't hook on the strings so hard, you are going to wound your finger tip. Try softer, like this." He said and demonstrated a couple of notes.

Thrárin nibbled his bottom lip and tried one note that sounded way too rough.

Thorin placed his finger above Thrárin's and tried the note with him, creating the sweetest sound ever. "Softer..." he said calmly.

Thrárin frowned with determination and tried again. "I will learn how to play better than you!"

Thorin looked at him proudly as Thrárin tried out several notes. Some sounded rough, but on some he managed to hit the right tone, more or less. "You will be the musician in our family then?"

Thrárin straightened up proudly. "Warrior musician!"

Thorin laughed warmly. "Place your palms on the strings to make them stop." He created a series of mesmerising notes and then stopped them with Thrárin's palms.

The boy nodded. "Okay daddy!"

Thorin wrapped his arms around his son and gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?" He whispered.

Thrárin giggled and grabbed his father's hair pushing him away. "Yeah, but you tickle me!" Thrárin's giggle echoed musically around the opening.

"Have I ever told you I want to devour you sometimes?!" Thorin's large hand burrowed under his son's armpit and tickled him hard.

"Ahhhh! Yeah! Yeah! Leave me alone! Ahhh!" Thrárin twisted and pushed in order to be free.

Thorin laughed heartily with him. "Don't scream so loud, you are going to wake up the poor cub!"

Thrárin stopped and turned around to face Thorin. "We will keep him!?" he cried with wide eyes.

Thorin raised his brows, but remained silent for a few moments. "I don't know. First I want to know how much you love me."

Thrárin bit his lower lip. "First tell me that we are going to keep him!"

Thorin's lips curled up. "You are quite the negotiator aren't you?"

Thrárin frowned. "I am a what?"

Thorin pursed his lips. "A little cunning fox and you have the matching colours to go along with that." He looked appreciatively at his son's red mane.

Thrárin's lips twisted thoughtfully. "I will tell you I love you, if we keep Thror."

Thorin raised his brow in a quiet warning that didn't pass through to his excited son.

Thrárin kneeled on his dad's thighs and grasped his shoulders. "I love you daddy! Thank you for allowing me to keep him!"

Thorin's brow wrinkled. "When did I accept?"

Thrárin raised both brows. "You didn't say no, so that means you said yes!" He said with a tone of uncertainty that melted Thorin's heart.

"That's how I get a declaration of love from you? By giving you everything you want?" Thorin cleared the red wild curls away from his son's face.

Thrárin giggled. "Yeah!"

Thorin huffed. "Your brother is going to be a mighty warrior, your sister a fiery tornado that will burn men's heart to ash and you will be the diplomat of our family, aren't you? Killing slowly with a smile."

Thrárin frowned. "What is a diplomat daddy?"

"Exactly what you are..." Thorin grinned at his son.

"I want to be a warrior musician!" Thrárin said seriously.

Thorin pulled him into a warm embrace and the boy snuggled in his arms comfortably. "Be whatever your heart desires my son...just be happy, that's all that I care about."

"I will be happy if we keep Thror." Thrárin rejoined and looked down at the cub who was sleep cosily next to Thorin's boot.

Thorin sighed. "We need to make sure this cub doesn't have a current owner and then we need to ask your mom, okay?"

"Okay daddy, can we go find her now to ask?!" Thrárin's face was bright as the moon that was upon the clear night sky at that moment.

Thorin didn't have the time to answer as two loving arms came around his neck and a soft pair of lips touched the side of his neck spreading shivers down his spine. "Ask his mom about what exactly?" Eilin whispered close to his ear.

Thrárin was quick to answer before Thorin had the opportunity. He released his father's embrace and grabbed Eilin's hand bringing her around. He kneeled down and caressed the cub's head sloppily. "Can we keep Thror mommy!?" His azure eyes looked up to her eagerly.

She raised her brows and looked at Thorin. "Thror?" she mouthed.

He shook his head. "Don't ask."

"I found him, he followed me home! He can be my bodyguard! He's a wolf mommy, can we keep him?!" Thrárin's eyes gazed at her beseechingly.

Eilin raised her hand and closed her eyes. "Wait a minute."

"Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we mommy? Can we? Can we? Can we?" Thrárin jumped up and down unwilling to stop.

That is when another voice joined in also. "Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we? Can we?" It was Rhianaye who had followed her mom and listened in on the conversation.

Thrárin stopped and glared at his sister. "If he comes back he's going to be mine Rhianaye!" He warned.

His sister placed her hands in her waist. "He's going to belong to all of us. That is proper, right dad?" She looked at her father waiting for confirmation.

"Well it is Thrárin who found him, so I am not so sure petal. If we decide to keep him, I think his owner will be your younger brother." Thorin clasped Eilin's hand gently and brought it to his lips for a kiss.

Thrárin pointed at his sister. "He will be mine, but you can pet him if you want to and we can take him out for walks together."

Rhianaye crossed her arms and scrounge her lips. "Well it's better than nothing."

Eilin smiled down at Thorin. "Have we decided that we want to keep him?"

"It's up to you." Thorin stood up and pulled her in his arms.

She wrapped hers around his waist and leaned her head on his chest. "Why not then?" She said thoughtfully.

"Really mom!?" Rhianaye grabbed Eilin's apron tightly.

Eilin gave her a most affectionate smile and caressed her shiny black hair that were reflecting the lights from the lamps that were hanging from the trees.

"We are already three kids and two adults...do we have enough time and energy to offer to this wolf cub?" Thorin tried to reason.

Thrárin frowned annoyed. "Yes we do daddy! Me and Rhianaye are going to do it, right?" His annoyance melted under the eager look he gave to his older sister.

Rhianaye winked at him. "We sure will!" -Then she turned to her parents with determination- "Come on people, we are old enough to have a pet."

Thrárin clasped Rhianaye's hand inside his and began jumping in front of her. "We are going to get a wolf! We are going to get a wolf! We are going to get a wolf!" And Rhianaye joined in.

Eilin gave Thorin a soft kiss at his bearded jawline as he gazed thoughtfully at his kids hopscotching around the cub who began howling and jumping also. "Don't think about it too long love. Look at how happy they are..." she whispered.

He pulled back and looked at her face dotingly. "Are you up for one more obligation?"

Eilin's lips pursed and she momentarily looked as if she wanted to tell him something, which at the last moment she regretted. "Just one more?"

He frowned. "What?"

She beamed up to him. "I am up for many more obligations, how about you my love?" her finger touched his lips gently.

He kissed it and smiled. "Whatever you say. The final call is yours."

Eilin's fingers coasted up to his cheek. "Thank you..." She whispered and the warmth of her breath caressed his face.

"I don't want to divert from the serious conversation about the wolf cub, but I'll never get used to your face. You are the most beautiful woman of Middle Earth, you know that don't you?" He bit his lower lip and his smile at her was sultry.

She laughed and caressed his large ear. "I happily belong to the most handsome warrior King of Middle Earth."

He offered her a dazzling smile and pulled her close. "Hear that song?"

She nodded and looked at his parted lips.

"Remember it?" He raised his brow.

"I danced it for you that day at the lake, when you showed me what it was like to be undone by the hands of the man you love...for the first time." She whispered.

"Will you dance for me again?" His fingers captured her chin and kept her in place as he leaned down to offer her a gentle lingering kiss that disgusted Rhianaye, but left Thrárin unaffected as he was kneeling next to the cub petting it.

"Yuck dad...not again!" Rhianaye stomped her foot down.

Thorin looked above Eilin's shoulder. "Cannot I kiss my wife, young lady?"

Rhianaye crossed her arms seemingly pissed. "Not in front of us! It's disgusting!"

Eilin looked behind her with a tender smile. "It's just the representation of the love we feel for each other, petal."

Rhianaye waved them off and kneeled down to pet Thror too. "Tell me when you finish...so I can look again." She sounded irritated beyond reason.

Thorin looked for a moment at his children with the cub and then down at Eilin's beautiful green eyes and pink luscious lips. "Will you dance with me?"

Rhianaye looked up sharply at that. "You owe me a dance dad! You promised!"

Eilin laughed and leaned her head on Thorin's shoulder. "You are being pursued by two women. Choose wisely!"

Thorin smiled down at his wife affectionately. "I'd never wish to be the cause of a rapture between mother and daughter. You choose who I dance with first."

"Dance with our daughter. You need to have a talk with her if I am not mistaken." She winked at him.

A knowing smile broke on his mouth and he turned to Rhianaye. "Very well. Can I have this dance, Little Gem?"

Rhianaye looked up at him and crossed her arms. "No, go ahead and dance with mom..." She still sounded annoyed by her parent's shenanigans.

Eilin kneeled close to Thrárin and caressed the cub. She gave an eloquent look at her husband who nodded discreetly. "I'd like to dance with you first."

Rhianaye looked at her mom who smiled brightly at her. "Go love...dance with daddy. He declares that he hates dancing, but he is actually one of the best dancers I've ever met."

Thorin was unable to hide his bliss as Rhianaye took his hand with a very elegant bow that betrayed instantly that she was of royal descent. "In that case, I would be honoured Sir..."

Thorin clasped her hand lightly and led her to the middle of the dance area that was full of people. He raised his brow at her slowly. "The honour is mine my Lady." He said majestically.

Eilin admired her husband leading her daughter into the dance that she had used to dazzle him back at those early days, when she was still uncertain how much of his attention she truly had. Their dance though was not tempting and alluring as she had made it for Thorin back in the days. It was elegant and so well performed that the dance area slowly cleared up to allow Thorin and his daughter to enchant all of them. They all admired Princess Rhianaye with her serious tries to control her body so as not to make a fool out of herself in front of her dad and Thorin for leading his daughter into a series of twirls and turns that lifted up her small dress and made her loose slowly all her forced solemnity. Soon enough Thorin's playful attitude didn't draw just smiles, but giggles from her that in the end became full blown laughs that were contagious towards the crowd.

Eilin wanted to remain and admire the special relationship Thorin always had with Rhianaye, but she just couldn't. She stood up and took Thrárin by the hand.

Her son had enough time to grab Thror's collar and drag the cub with them. "Where are we going mommy?"

"I need to leave you to Dis..." She said and felt a rather ominous burp coming up.

"But I wanted to show Durin our new wolf!" Thrárin whined and tried to resist.

Eilin stopped and burped loudly. Then she looked around to see if anyone noticed her rudeness. "I need to have you remain with a grown up. I don't want Lis to take care of two kids alone."

"Then come with me!" Thrárin cried.

"Mommy needs to take a small break love. Here I will take you to auntie Dis and Lieutenant Dongar and you can show them your new wolf. I will be back soon okay?" Eilin forced herself to smile down at her son even though her stomach was twisting painfully and the whole world was twirling mercilessly.

Thrárin followed her silently with a deep frown of annoyance on his beautiful face.

-.-

Thorin clasped Rhianaye's hand and pulled her behind him. "How did your archery lesson go?"

"Perfect dad! I hit the bullseye three times!" Rhianaye said and followed his lead as brought her in front of him and bowed elegantly.

"I noticed that Durin was helping you more than your mom." He noticed.

Rhianaye began nibbling her bottom lip nervously. "That's true."

"What a kind and caring brother you have..." Thorin let that thought trail off as he moved her to his side and allowed her to follow his steps through that particularly slow part of the dance.

Rhianaye averted her eyes and looked down at her feet.

"Don't you agree?" Thorin pulled her hand gently in order to draw her attention.

She nodded and felt her cheeks flushing red.

"So you do appreciate his efforts to assist you?" Thorin raised his brow at her, even though she wasn't looking at him.

It was as if suddenly she had lost her mirth. "Yes dad..." She said in a hushed tone.

Thorin stopped next to her with the music and bowed elegantly. She did the same. "Have you shown him your appreciation lately Gem?"

Rhianaye looked at him bashfully. "Uhm...no...I mean yes...I mean...maybe not."

Thorin led her away from the dance floor and found his spot close to the harp. He sat down and pulled her in front of him by the hands. "How did you do that precious?"

Rhianaye looked at her hands and began swaying her body uncomfortably. "I ...don't know..."

Thorin looked at her lowered eyelids for several moments before deciding to give her the final blow. "By stealing his honey cake?"

Rhianaye lifted her eyes and her whole face became crimson. "Dad no! I never stole it! I just...I just...it was ...you don't understand!"

"So Durin lied?" Thorin said calmly and placed some Old Toby in his pipe.

Rhianaye looked terribly uncomfortable and even slightly afraid. She didn't speak.

"Be careful to tell me the truth Gem, for if he lied he will be punished." Thorin said cleverly and lit up his pipe.

"How will you punish him?" Rhianaye looked up.

"He won't be allowed to ride a horse for three full moons." Thorin rejoined nonchalantly.

Rhianaye paled. "Dad noooo...he loves his horse!"

Thorin flicked his shoulders. "Lies get punished petal. You know that." He inhaled the smoke deeply and then released it with a soft sigh of relief.

Rhianaye's fingers twisted tightly around each other. She turned and looked at her brother practicing archery with Lis, then at her father who had closed his eyes and was enjoying his smoke. She tried to find her mom, but she couldn't. She only saw Thrárin with auntie Dis cradling the wolf cub in his small arms. It took her long to decide what to do and how to break through to her formidable father. Her conclusion was that honesty couldn't be avoided. She may have wanted to eat that extra honey cake, but she loved her brother. She didn't want him punished for this. She murmured something Thorin missed.

His eyes cracked open and he looked at her sideways. "What did you say Gem?"

Rhianaye bit her lower lip and inhaled deeply. "I said I stole his cake, please don't punish him. He did nothing wrong."

Thorin's heavy gaze evaluated his daughter for several moments before he inclined his head. "Very well. Thank you for being honest."

Rhianaye froze and her bright green eyes engaged with her father's. "That's it? You won't punish me?"

Thorin shook his head. "No, you saved your punishment by a hair's inch. If you had been dishonest with me you would have lost your enchanted lake for several full moons."

Rhianaye closed her eyes and exhaled hard.

"Don't ever take Durin's desert again. When you want extra you go and ask Loa to make you some more. Is that clear?" Thorin said with an austerity that always made Rhianaye lose all the colour from her face.

She clasped her hands tightly in front of her apron. "I am sorry dad."

He reached out and touched her cold hands. "It's not me you should be asking forgiveness from..." He said meaningfully.

Rhianaye looked back at her brother. "I will go tell Durin."

"When?" Thorin raised his brow.

"Now!" Rhianaye said eagerly.

Thorin's lips curled up in a proud lopsided smile. He cupped her cheek and drew her into his arms. "There you go love...that's the proper way to treat your siblings."

Rhianaye wrapped her arms behind Thorin's neck. "I love Durin..."

Thorin kissed her forehead and caressed her temple tenderly. "He loves you too, but you need to stop poking him."

Rhianaye leaned her head on his shoulder. "I will dad I promise...and Thrárin, I love him too."

"As for him, he absolutely adores you." Thorin smiled gently.

Rhianaye smiled. "He's just so silly sometimes."

"He's young. Allow him the time to learn and one day you shall see him all grown up, wise and brave standing next to your brother...a wall of protection for our family and for you personally." Thorin said without being able to hide a thread of pride from his voice.

Rhianaye started giggling. "I cannot imagine Thrárin ever being like that."

Thorin offered her cheek and hand another kiss. "You will all grow up and you'll see things through another perspective. Listen to your old man."

Rhianaye frowned. "You are not old dad, come on!"

"I am three hundred years older than you, young lady." He smiled thoughtfully and looked at the dance floor that was full of couples once more.

Rhianaye scrounged her lips. "I don't like the sound of that."

"Why?" Thorin asked and began wondering were Eilin had gone. He wanted so much to have a dance with her.

"Because that means you may die soon." Rhianaye felt her eyes welling. "I love you too much. I don't want you to die, ever."

Thorin enclosed her on his chest. "We will make a deal alright?"

Rhianaye nodded. "Okay."

"I won't die until you become old enough to have your own children. How about that?"

Rhianaye punched his shoulder. "Not enough!"

"Okay your own grandchildren then." Thorin smirked down at her.

Rhianaye shook her head. "More!"

"Your own great grandchildren?" Thorin raised his brows in amusement.

"MORE!" Rhianaye giggled.

Thorin laughed. "Shall I will become Thorin the deathless for you?"

Rhianaye's face lit up brightly. "Yes!"

Thorin gave her a firm kiss on her cheek and got ready to answer when Durin's solemn voice stopped him.

"Dad..."

He looked at his son's annoyed face. "What?"

Durin pointed at a tree cluster at the far end of the field. "Mom is puking again."

Thorin's face lost all it's mirth and he put Rhianaye down. "Stay with your sister." He said and started walking quickly towards the place Durin pointed at.

Rhianaye looked at her brother long and hard before yelling suddenly a rather uncomfortable sounding. "I am sorry!"

"What?" Durin looked taken aback.

She stippled her fingers and looked at her apron. "I am sorry I ate your cake."

Durin's face settled in irritation. "You are a little weasel...we all know that. You are lucky I didn't beat you up."

Rhianaye's eyes welled. "I said I am sorry Durin...honestly...what more can I do to fix this?"

Durin pointed at her. "You will let me eat your desert tonight!" He raised his brow at her.

Rhianaye deliberated on that for a few moments and then extended her hand to him. "Deal!" She said bravely.

Durin looked at for a few moments before cracking up a smile. He grasped his sister's hand and squeezed tightly. "Perfect, now come on!" He said and pulled her behind some trees.

"What are we doing?" Rhianaye looked around as Durin pulled her along as quietly as possible.

"We are sneaking..." Durin whispered.

"Where to?" She lowered her voice likewise.

"Into Gandalf's tent!" Durin hushed her.

"Why!?" Rhianaye's eyes grew wide.

"So we can fire up his biggest firework!" Durin smirked back at her.

Rhianaye's mouth dropped open for a few moments and then she clapped her hands. "Yeah!"

Durin clutched her hands and hushed her again. "Keep your bloody voice down before they figure us out!"

Rhianaye looked around her anxiously. "What if mom and dad see us?"

Durin waved her off. "They'll be busy for a while."

"Because mom's puking? She's sick again, isn't she?" Rhianaye frowned.

"Nah, don't worry. She's just having another baby, that's all." Durin flicked his shoulders.

Rhianaye's face lit up. "She does?!"

Durin nodded and pulled her silently into the Gandalf's red tent. "She acts the same way she did before they announced us that Thrárin was coming."

Rhianaye nodded. "Do you think it's going to be a girl this time?"

Durin began uncovering the boxes and searching. "I hope it's a boy."

Rhianaye helped him. "You are unfair. You got Thrárin, whom do I have?"

"Us..." Durin smirked and pointed at a huge rainbow coloured phoenix bird. "Look, there it is!"

Rhianaye's eyes glimmered. "Oh...wow! Are you going to light it up?"

Durin grinned. "You bet your life I will. Hold this!" He gave her his bow and went on a quest to find some flint and stone in order to finish his plan for the evening. To blow up the tent and all the fireworks with that huge fiery bird.

-.-

At the end of the field away from all the commotion Eilin wiped away her mouth and leaned her hand on the tree bark behind her. She closed her eyes and tried to calculate how dizzy she felt and how stupid she had been to come out here all alone in this state. That is when a strong pair of arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her onto an equally strong and tall body. She exhaled hard in relief. "Thorin..." she muttered.

He cleared some hair away from her pale face and looked down at her. "You told me you felt better."

She shook her head. "Now I feel much better, believe me."

"You look pale as death. Follow me." He said and led her next to a small creek. He kneeled down and helped her to sit next to him. Then he pulled her hair back in a ponytail and began washing her face clean.

The cold water did wonders for her dizziness. "Thank you my love."

"Why didn't you tell me you felt this awful?" -his face looked both troubled and annoyed- "We could have left the feast so you could get some rest."

Eilin reached out and clasped his thigh. "My love...listen."

"You are forcing yourself to do everything with the kids. You are exhausted all the time even though you sleep constantly and this dizziness...it's not getting any better is it? No matter what we do, it's only getting worse. You can't stop emptying your stomach every single day. I want Gandalf to take a look at you!" He said and wiped away her face with a handkerchief after she cleaned her mouth amply with the fresh water from the creek.

She removed his hand from her face, but held it firmly between her cold fingers.

He looked down. "You are freezing..." His voice became even more worried.

She shook her head gently. "I am alright...please...listen."

His previously clear brow wrinkled. "You are not alright. Gandalf must see you..."

She pressed her lips and their loving gazes engaged. "Thorin I don't need Gandalf to tell me what I already know."

He frowned momentarily taken aback. "What?"

The thin line of her lips curled up in the most adoring smile she could master. "I am pregnant my love."

Thorin's lips parted and his chin came down.

Eilin cupped her mouth and snorted at his bewildered expression. "I am not dying honey. I am just pregnant..."

Thorin looked bemused for a few moments. When he spoke again his voice was diminished. "Again...?"

Eilin raised her brows and gave him a series of ceaseless nods. "Again..." She spoke silently, trying to read his reaction to these news.

"I am going to be a dad...again?" His face cringed in disbelief.

Eilin cupped his cheek and bit her lower lip. "Tell me you are not freaking out please. I tried to prepare you a couple of times back there..." She sounded mildly worried.

The troubled lines on Thorin's face melted away slowly as he raised his beautiful eyes and looked at her. He shook his head slightly. "But we were counting days..." He said.

Eilin pursed her lips. "We kind of messed up the previous month remember?"

Thorin closed his eyes in sudden realisation. "Oh, damn..."

"You are actually unsettling me with this attitude, just so you'd know." She warned him gently.

He turned around and gifted her palm with a warm kiss that made her heart skirt. "If it's a girl, I want it to be named Ida..." His mouth formed a most affectionate smile.

Eilin closed her eyes with a sigh of relief and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Oh thank heavens...I thought you were mad at this."

He shook his head. "I will be mad if I cannot get the girl I am always aiming for."

Eilin frowned confused. "I know I may sound completely crazy, but if it's a boy can we name him Órin?"

Thorin's demeanour clouded. "Oh, Eilin..." He didn't know what to say to that unexpected declaration.

Eilin closed her eyes and shook her head. "I haven't made peace with him and I don't know if I ever will, but I'd like to combine his name with yours for our son, if Mahal blesses us with a third boy. Is that okay with you?"

Thorin felt his heart welling with love. He rubbed his bearded cheek on her forehead. "It would be an honour for me."

She nodded gently and exhaled a whole bout of tension. "I love you so much."

It took him several moments to speak again, but when he did his intentions were clear. He wanted to lift that unbidden dark shadow away from Eilin's heart. "If this turns out to be a boy, I think we should try one last time."

Her brow wrinkled in momentary confusion. "Try what?"

"To get that ginger haired princess with the green eyes that we are going to call Ida." His voice was part teasing part serious.

Eilin pulled back and looked at him with austerity. "Are you literally trying to kill me?"

He raised both brows. "Why?"

Eilin tilted her head and her shoulders deflated. "Thorin I absolutely adore you, but mercy me please... that's enough! We have three already and one on the way and you want more?"

He flicked his shoulders. "Haven't coaxed a second daughter from you yet."

Eilin straightened her body and looked at him sternly. "I never thought I'd ever say this, but honey...don't love me fully anymore...please!"

"We'll see..." he frowned down at her.

She smirked playfully and raised her finger at his face. "You told me to command you to stop all this and now I am! We will count carefully after I birth this baby. Carefully! Every single time we shall count and you won't love me fully when the days are too dangerous! Do we have a deal?!" She sounded austere and partly irritated, but he didn't look intimidated.

He wrapped his arms around her and smiled smugly. "I'll think about it."

Eilin's lips parted. "What do you mean you'll think about it?"

He nibbled his lip and looked at her mouth thoughtfully for a few moments, then he pulled her in fiercely and flushed her against his body. Then his mouth made an attack on her cheek that ended up as fiery kisses on her mouth that she was unable and unwilling to stop. Her fingers clutched his nape firmly and she surrendered to the carnality of his claim that related to her not only his physical domination, but also his devotion to her. His kiss not only took over the reigns of her thoughts, but with equal ease it erased every single thread of nausea from her body. Only then did she realise that he was kissing her after she had emptied her stomach and she pulled back feeling abhorred.

"What?" he frowned down at her obvious hesitation.

"I just puked...the smell of my mouth must be foul..." she told him.

He looked at her face hungrily for a few moments before dipping down to capture her bottom lip between his teeth. "You taste sweet like honey," -he let his tongue roll into the hot cavity of her mouth and instantly her body tensed. When he pulled back her body was already overtaken by a lingering warmth and her mind was partially foggy- "you taste like flowers" -his tongue engaged sensually around hers a few more times before he looked at her eyes- "You taste like life!" The hairpin of his mouth curled up.

"I know these words...I've heard them before." She murmured and her finger caressed his bearded jawline. She felt enchanted by him, like she always did. No matter the time they had been together or how many children were now in their lives, that magic between them was still there, burning strong...endlessly.

He raised his brows. "I've spoken them to you before, I will speak them again and I will repeat them as many times as you wish me..."

She felt her eyes burning. "I love you Thorin."

"I love you too my Eilin." His mouth opened up to devour her and his ears barely heard the moan of pleasure she released into his mouth, as an array of explosions lit up the night sky above them and made it bright as day.

_As I kissed the love of my life, the woman who has gifted me with four precious children, companionship, affection and emotional bonds that stood much stronger than bonds of blood...I didn't see the rainbow coloured phoenix erupting above our heads and drenching us with myriads of fiery flares that sparkled upon Eilin's reddish curls like small fireflies. I didn't hear the exclamations of awe and disbelief that came from the party field, nor was I able to make out the blissful cries of my two oldest children that came running out of Gandalf's tent full of soot, happy that they had destroyed the whole feast. I could only feel the slickness of her tongue dancing around mine and the sharpness of her nails penetrating the sensitive skin on the side of my neck. I could feel her soft warm body against mine and her voluptuous breasts pressing provocatively on my palms. The more I kissed and fondled her the more I wanted to undress her and make love to her right there next to the creek, surrounded by the quiet darkness of this protective cluster of the trees. I wanted to push that rude dress up to her midsection and move those underwear aside the moment her hands became too bold and too rude around my own need for her. As the fireworks erupted in the sky above us, I knew that under me open and longing was the woman I had devoted my life to and that inside her was a second heart beating very fast. A heart that was created by our love. That wholesome feeling was so overwhelming on me that I forgot all about the feast behind us. All about my children that were trying to escape the clutches of Dis and Dongar. I didn't care that my youngest boy Thrárin was hopscotching on a table, kicking away every single dish and mug while Loa and Dwalin were trying to get him to come down. I forgot all about the wolf cub named Thror and the need to teach Thrárin to play the harp. As I slid in her and pinned her demanding hands above her head I forgot all about Hobbiton, Erebor and everything in between. I forgot how I was brought back to life in Ravenhill and how I begged for death once more, not so long after..._

_As I thrust inside her almost desperately, looking at her closed eyes and at her face captivated in total rapture though I remembered the very first moment I met her and how she took my breath away. Her green eyes that reminded me of the fields around us in full bloom, her long curly hair that was a red sea around her perfect face. That porcelain skin that felt almost too delicate to touch and too soft to kiss. Those lips...ah...those soft petals I have under mine now...sucking them, eating them, drinking them to oblivion as I spread her legs open with my thighs...her neck...her long thin neck around which I am wrapping my fingers gently...feeling it undulating under my palm with her moans of pleasure that penetrate my very heart. Her perfect, voluptuous firm breasts that will always feed my most carnal dreams with a fire that cannot be satiated. I remembered everything from the moment I met her and then on...I never forgot a single look that we have exchanged nor a single word. I could go back and retell it as if I was re-reading a book. Every touch, every curl on the hairpin of her perfect mouth, every exhalation of timidness. Every shy scrape of skin, every hope, every dream, every need, every tear, every beautiful pain, every regret, every guilt, ever single ounce of love I have felt for her._

_I remember the first moment I decided to pursue this perfection, to the last moment we allowed our passion for each other to consume us...much like it does now that I see her unravelling under me. With her dress pushed over her hips and her breasts caressing my face. With the scorching heat of her innermost self enwrapping me so lovingly. I'll never forget the journey this woman offered me. She freed me from the demons of my past and took my hand urging me to follow her into the future...and what that future held for us was utterly amazing, unexpected...unfathomable. So as she twisted her smooth thighs around my hips and she arched her body against mine I longed to see that future evolve, change and become the future of our children. My fingers tightened around her wrists and my mouth kissed her so deeply that I felt that my soul adjoining hers. When the fireworks abated above us, I felt her tensing and I knew she was there. I begged her to come for me...to come to me. When she did her eruption was more blinding than any firework that had gone off in the night sky of Hobbiton. There surrounded by the safety of the clusters and the darkness of the night, the love of my life unfolded every single inch of her passion under me and I followed her into the void, knowing that inside her there was another life blooming. My rapture was so engulfing that I wanted to make love to her again and again until both our hearts would finally give up. Only then maybe I could relate how I felt for her...or maybe she already knew, because her arms enclosed me with such doting devotion that my eyes filled with tears as I emptied all my love for her into her blessed, comforting heat. She knows how I feel...for she feels the same...and our love had been fierce from the first moment ...and it will remain as such to the last._

_As I pulled back to look into her eyes... I heard the cries of Durin and Rhianaye and she heard them too for those beloved green eyes of hers forgot the ecstasy I offered her and they filled with dread. She grasped my biceps firmly, letting me know her worry about the children. I helped her up, I pulled her dress down, making sure I cleaned it from all those fallen leaves that had stuck on it's back and I assured her that everything was going to be fine. It was just our fierce twins creating havoc once more and their younger brother who was trying to keep up. That was not something new. It was not something we haven't dealt with before._

_Little did we know at that moment that our twins were not going to be the fiercest members of our family for long. Soon Órin, my youngest son was going to be born and he was destined to make us reevaluate what we considered ferocious, by becoming his oldest brother's nightmare._

_Durin's new bane!_

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * There will be an epilogue which will be the last chapter of this story. I know there are plot lines left unfinished, like Eilin's father, but they cannot be addressed in this story as it became too big. It needs a closure. If you are interested in a sequel that would address Eilin's father and what happened with her mother, the royal family and their formidable children, Erebor and the part it will play in Middle Earth later on, please let me know and I will do the best I can after a break because I admit I am totally burned out. I will thank each reviewer that has caught my eyes personally at the end of the epilogue *.*
> 
> *Oh, before I forget. There weren't many people who read this story, probably not more than a handful, still though it was a story worth telling. So this is for all of us who sometimes struggle with self-worth (and no these are not my words, but do take them at heart):
> 
> If you're not noticed, you're still valid.
> 
> if no ones gonna read it, you should still write it.
> 
> If no ones gonna see it, you should still do it.
> 
> If no ones gonna hear you, you should still say it.


	76. Epilogue - My Dwarrowdelf

Thorin stood above the anvil and looked critically down at the Narsil. He had been reforging it for several days in order to feel that it's shards had been placed together in a seamless way that could marginally satisfy him. He lifted the hammer and threw it upon the famous red hot blade repeatedly.

Listening to the metallic sounds of the forges and feeling the blazing heat emanating from the cauldron was enough, as always, to calm him down. It was the best way to soothe his spirits and rest his weary mind. He pulled the sword away from the anvil and scrutinised the smoothness of the blade. Trying to emulate the work of the famous Telchar was not easy on his vanity, which at times was rather bold concerning this trade. He had to live up to the legend of an amazing craftsman who also happened to be Eilin's forefather. He had to deliver an impeccable job with this sword and he didn't intend to leave the forges until he had done so.

His heavy boot fell on the dark metal treadle that pulled the huge hammers above his head apart. He placed the Narsil between them and released the treadle, making them fall on it with such force, his whole body shook. A cascade of fiery sparks washed over his head and shoulders and he averted his eyes in order to protect them. Then he drew the sword away and balanced it on his palm in order to check on it's smoothness once more, but when his eyes rolled to it's tip, they met Eilin who was standing at the archway of his station with her hands on her waist. Instantly his heart sparked up and his mind came to attention and away from the drifting tranquility this work offered him. He smirked at her and his eyes travelled down her figure.

She huffed and sauntered in. "I can never get used to those huge hammers bashing each other above your head. I am always expecting them to detach from the ceiling and fall on you."

He sighed and placed the Narsil on the anvil. "So what?"

Eilin paused in front of him and looked at his half naked body thoughtfully. Her stomach twisted deliciously and she felt a familiar warmth covering her exposed bosom. Her fingers caressed it absently and his attention got instantly drawn there. "True...Your head is too stubborn to break...the hammers would break instead."

He smiled and closed his eyes. "What are you doing down here, dressed so frivolously?"

Eilin checked herself. Her tunic had slid off one shoulder and the srtings that were tying her tunic on the bosom were partially untied offering ample view of her voluptuous bust to anyone who'd dare look at the Queen the wrong way. Her skirt was tucked in her belt from one side leaving her thigh partially revealed and her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows. Her hair was gathered on the top of her head on a messy bun that allowed several long curly tendrils to float free around her face and down her back. "I was down at the eastern residential cavern helping Dis with the delivery of a child. It's not easy training to be a midwife, I'll tell you that. I prefer to train other women in archery instead." She rubbed her forehead, feeling exhausted.

Thorin crossed his arms and looked down at her body rudely. "I prefer you to train other women in battle also. Does being a midwife demand that you saunter around the hallways with your leg exposed and your bust half revealed?"

She looked up at him sharply.

He raised his brow.

Her face mellowed up instantly and she approached him. One hand landed on his sweaty waist and the other came out to caress his large scar gently. Her fingers planed down his hot skin until they reached his lower stomach and when she felt his muscles tensing she smiled. There her fingers traced the dark line of hair down to his waistband. "You sound hopelessly jealous."

He exhaled a whole bout of annoyance and swallowed a suddenly dry throat. "Look at you. This dress is utterly rude...it's not meant for the eyes of my men."

Eilin leaned over and her lips touched the round muscle of his chest. "No, it's only meant for your eyes." She whispered.

His hand came up and his fingers tunnelled through her mane, keeping her there. "Then why didn't you take care of your revealing attire better?" His voice still had a tone of reproach, but it was gentler.

Her lips drew on his skin and then rested hotly on his clavicle. THe fingers on the back of her head tightened. "I was too tired to notice, forgive me. Now tell me do you seriously think I care about the eyes of other men on me? It's only your attention that I wish to captivate."

He exhaled and rubbed her head gently. "Do you?"

She smiled and her hand came to his back and traced his spine upwards. She felt the goosebumps waking up above his sweaty skin that offered the salty taste to her tongue that she liked so much. "I know how much my rude dresses turn you on, but I also adore your jealousy."

His other hand came up and cupped her cheek. He drew her head unit his lips could linger above hers. "You do?"

She nodded mesmerised by the salty aftertaste on her tongue and at how warm his body felt against hers. "We have four children together. We've been through hell and still you yearn for me. I cannot get enough of that..."

He nodded gently. "More than words can say. My passion for you shall never die."

Her hand abandoned his large scar and wrapped behind his nape pulling him down to her. "Mine either...even after so many years I feel like it's the first time."

He smiled and then leaned down to captivate her mouth gently. She offered him a breathy exhalation and closed her eyes as he probed her to open up her soft mouth for him. When he dipped into her slickness, her body as if in command tensed and her lower region got overflowed by a river of lava. The more his strong arms flushed her against him, the more his tongue danced sensually around hers and the more his teeth nibbled gently at her lips, the more that heat between her legs became almost unbearable and she was just one step from raising that half exposed thigh in order to wrap it around his hips. "In here?" she whispered.

He gave her a gentle nod. "Why not?" His hand came down and hooked under her knee, placing her thigh around him as if he had read her thoughts.

Eilin's lips parted and her eyes closed when his mouth coasted firmly down the side of her neck. When he opened up his lips in order to allow his teeth to draw in her skin, her whole body erupted with goosebumps that she was unable to control. "There is no door in the archway..."

Thorin closed his eyes and licked hungrily the shivers that were chasing her skin. "I don't care." He rebuked firmly.

Eilin thrilled at his touch. "You are not thinking clearly."

He growled on her neck and send a wave of need down her nether regions. "Of course I am not..."

Eilin giggled and clutched the back of his sweaty hair tightly, admitting that she wouldn't have minded a rough love session right there on Thorin's anvil when a mixture of angry voices stopped them and made them pull back from each other slightly. Eilin pointed at the darkness. "Told you, listen! Someone is coming!"

Thorin didn't have enough time to respond as half of their children, Bjarki's son and Thror the wolf, made their appearance at the archway.

Rhianaye was the first one inside. She was holding Bjarngrímur by the hand tightly and he was following submissively despite the fact that he was at least forty eight years older than Thorin's daughter. "Thrárin you are pissing me off!"

Thrárin was the third one inside, followed by his intimidating black wolf with a face that was settled in controlled irritation. "You are acting erratically Rhianaye. Calm the hell down!" He snapped.

Rhianaye huffed and pulled Bjarngrímur closed to her. "Are you joking?! He almost killed this man!"

"He's only ten years old, he doesn't understand the consequences! Be reasonable!" Thrárin rebuked at his sister.

"He's four years younger than you! He knows that if he uses dynamite in combination with fire it is going to blow up!" Rhianaye hollered.

"He's just a kid! Did you forget how you destroyed the Hobbiton feast by blowing all of Gandalf's fireworks with Durin's help!? Were you two entitled to your idiocy and Órin isn't?" Thrárin snapped and his large blue eyes that resembled Thorin's so much burned through his sister.

Rhianaye released Bjarngrímur's hand, who looked fearfully at Thorin and pulled back several steps. She placed her tight feasts on her waist. "Do you seriously compare what me and Durin did back then to today's attempted murder?"

Thrárin crossed his arms and shook his head. "You are taking this too far..." -He humphed- "Attempted murder..." He rolled his eyes.

Rhianaye pointed at the archway. "There wasn't anyone on top of Gandalf's tent when we blew those fireworks up!" -She turned and searched for Bjarngrímur who had retreated almost as far back as the corridor. She stomped her foot down and went to him. She grasped his hand and brought him back to the center of attention, not caring about his obvious dismay.- "Poor Bjarngrímur was sitting on top of the carriage!"

Thrárin looked haughtily at his sister's friend and humphed again. "He barely got scratched."

Rhianaye fumed. "You are defending Órin!"

Thrárin looked abhorred. "I am not!"

Rhianaye stomped her foot down again. "Yes you are! What he did was irresponsible and downright dangerous and I know why he did it also!"

Thror stood up and revealed his teeth with a low key growl. Thrárin petted the wolf's head. "Sit down boy."

Thror obeyed instantly and then Thrárin turned to his sister with a frown. "So give us the reasons!"

Rhianaye exhaled angrily. "Because you and Durin had been filling up his mind with idiocies about me and Bjarngrímur!"

Thrárin raised his brow and crossed his arms. "Instead of feeling blessed that your youngest brother is so eager to look out for you, you prefer to turn against him."

Rhianaye grasped her temples. "Protect me from what!? Bjarngrímur is just my friend! I am barely twenty years old. I am not old enough to have any suitors. Are you defending Órin in this? What is the matter with you boys!?"

Thrárin turned his stern gaze at Bjarngrímur who, poor man bowed to the ground at the angry prince and tried to avoid the King's tense stare who was observing the conversation with an ominous silence. "I don't doubt that Bjarngrímur has the best intentions for you and that you are having fun with him, nevertheless Órin was simply trying to protect you. In a most stupid manner, I agree, but you know how spontaneous he can become."

Rhianaye positively fumed. "Spontaneous...ha! He's downright dangerous! I hope Durin will teach him a lesson or two!"

Thrárin's lips pursed in anger. "You shouldn't try to bring us against each other for something as meagre as this! You are acting irresponsibly towards your family, for this man!" He pointed at Bjarngrímur who tried to pull away from Rhianaye.

Thorin's daughter didn't allow him. Instead she turned and looked at her parents for the first time since entering the forges. Her face unhinged and she released Bjarngrímur's hand. "Oh, come on dad, don't grope mom! What the hell?"

Thrárin looked up surprised. As for poor Bjarngrímur he didn't know which anvil to lift up in order to hide underneath.

Thorin raised his brow at that sudden attack towards them, Eilin though was much more dismissive.

She released her husband's shoulders and her face contorted in anger. "Keep your voice down young lady, do you hear me?! What language is this you are using in front of Bjarki's son?! Grope!"

Rhianaye froze in place at this sudden attack from her ferocious mother.

Thrárin smirked and looked loftily at his older sister and then at his mother who was ready to release all her fierceness to her children.

"How dare you command your father what to do with me!?" Eilin came down on her daughter like a ton of bricks.

Rhianaye averted her eyes. "I am sorry mom, I just got surprised and it is pretty disturbing to see you guys all over each other..."

Eilin closed her mouth irritated. "That is what created you children, so deal with it! It is not as if we came over to your room to rub this all over your face! You are young adults, not babies anymore and it is you who stormed your father's forges without an invitation!"

Rhianaye bit her lower lip and remained silent.

Bjarngrímur looked ready to implode and Thrárin regained his usual lofty calmness that resembled Thorin so much.

Eilin placed her hands on her belt. "Why did you come here ready to bring the house down!?" She looked angrily at her daughter.

Rhianaye looked up shyly and cleared her throat. "Órin almost killed Bjarngrímur. He exploded his carriage, while the poor man was sitting on it. Look at his forearm, it's burned!" She pulled the threadbare sleeve of the young man and showed several bloody scratches on his half burned skin.

"I am really alright princess..." Bjarngrímur whispered timidly and tried to avoid the ferocious glare of the Queen.

Rhianaye looked at him angry that he was messing up the story. "Can you please stop! I brought you here in order to defend you in front of my parents against my brother! Don't you dare trip me up!" She barked irritated beyond belief.

"I think I caused enough trouble already. What happened was an accident." Bjarngrímur bowed at the Royals respectfully.

Thrárin laughed. "Even your victim says that nothing happened. Your are a bloody drama queen, you know that don't you?"

Rhianaye looked at her brother and positively fumed. "Shut up!"

Thror growled once more protectively for Thrárin, but didn't stand up.

Rhianaye pointed at the wolf and spat. "And he's about to eat us alive whenever we have an argument with you!"

Thrárin gritted his teeth. "Your language is insufferable! Leave Thror alone, he did nothing to you. He is just protecting me. You think we all have to serve you on hand and foot! You came here to worry our parents for nothing. Durin is more than able to handle all this."

Eilin gritted her teeth. "You are all heading for a severe punishment if I hear one more curse!" -The she turned to her daughter menacingly- "What did you tell Durin to do to Órin?"

Rhianaye looked back at Bjarngrímur and steadied her feet against her fierce mother. "To give him a piece of his own medicine!"

Eilin's eyes popped out of her head. "What the hell Rhianaye!" She hollered.

Rhianaye lifted up Bjarngrímur's hand angrily. "He almost died because of Órin's games! Órin must be punished!"

Eilin came over and towered over her daughter. "That is not your job or Durin's to undertake! That is mine and your father's! What were you thinking?!"

Thrárin huffed. "She wasn't thinking obviously. Bjarngrímur has stolen her mind even though she doesn't want to admit it."

Rhianaye glared at her brother. "I told you to shut up!"

"Great, so I am telling you now to do the same!" Thrárin spat.

"Enough!" The rich vibrato of Thorin's voice made everyone freeze in place.

Eilin huffed and crossed her arms.

Thorin looked at Bjarngrímur hard and long before speaking. "Come here young man."

Bjarngrímur approached with unsteady feet. "Your majesty." He bowed deeply.

Thorin reached out and pulled the young man's hand. He drew up his sleeve and looked at the wounds. "Was the attack unprovoked?" He asked calmly.

Bjarngrímur didn't have the chance to speak as Rhianaye spoke for him. "Most definitely dad!"

Thorin's azure eyes fell coldly at his daughter. "Did I ask for your opinion?"

Rhianaye averted her gaze and stippled her fingers. "No dad, I am sorry."

Thorin turned his eyes to Bjarngrímur. "Well? I am waiting young man."

Bjarngrímur inhaled deeply and tried to find courage. "Me and the princess had just returned from the forest of the river with my carriage, carrying a dead hog. We went hunting today your majesty, but I never acted inappropriately with your honourable daughter I swear. We are just friends..." Bjarngrímur bowed his head and closed his eyes.

Thorin's lips cracked a small smile. "I am aware of that. Your have your honourable father's respectful conduct."

Bjarngrímur exhaled in relief and continued. "I helped the princess off the carriage and we were engaged in some small talk about how well she had aimed at the hunt. Her archery is becoming better by the day. I don't know what happened, but the princess pulled away suddenly and cried for me to jump off the carriage. I did and then it blew up..." -Bjarngrímur paused regretfully- "Unfortunately the hog got obliterated and it's a pity. It would have made a particularly hefty roast."

Thorin nodded gently. "Fortunately you weren't. Go up and find Oin. Let him have a look at your arm and tell Bjarki that I will come to talk to him later."

Bjarngrímur bowed to the ground and pressed his fist above his chest. "Your majesty, thank you." Then he stood up and offered a brief gaze of devotion to Rhianaye that she didn't see, but her mother and father certainly did, before leaving.

"We are solemnly lucky the boy is unharmed! I swear that in my current state of mind I want to punish all of you!..." Eilin spat, but Thorin's long fingers wrapped around her forearm and squeezed her gently. She settled down, but it was visible that she was making an effort to remain silent.

Thorin looked at Thrárin. "Tell me what happened."

Rhianaye looked up sharply. "Why are you asking him for?!" She sounded offended.

Thorin raised his brow. "You said your side of the story only too vociferously. Now it's his turn."

Rhianaye closed her mouth and positively fumed, but remained silent.

Thorin nodded at Thrárin. "I am waiting."

Thrárin tilted his head. "I cannot deny that Órin got out of line today dad, but so did Rhianaye."

Rhianaye looked at her brother irritated.

Thrárin looked at Thror and began caressing his head. "We were training in archery with Durin close to the entrance and we were using exploding arrows, you know from the old dynamite of uncle Balin."

Thorin crossed his arms and nodded.

"Órin was standing behind us, loading the tip of our arrows with the powder and then lighting them up before we tried our shots. We all saw Bjarngrímur talking with Rhianaye when they arrived. Me and Durin made a few jokes about that and Órin sneaked slowly away. Little rascal managed to place a good amount of powder under Bjarngrímur's carriage and then lit it up. I cannot but admit that Rhianaye's quick reaction was what saved that man. He could have blown up along with that hog."

Rhianaye closed her mouth and her jawline tensed. She hadn't been expecting her brother to partially defend her in front of their parents. Especially after their brawl.

"Needless to say that me and Durin understood what happened only after we began cleaning pieces of hog from our clothes and all the guards ran down to check if we were okay." Thrárin flicked his shoulder and surveyed the aforementioned shoulder before discarding a piece of hog flesh to the black polished floor.

Thorin pursed his lips. "What kind of jokes did you make that fired up your little brother in this manner?"

Thrárin obviously hesitated on that and Thorin saw it.

Rhianaye chimed in. "They were making fun of me and Bjarngrímur! They think we love each other and the little rascal decided to intervene in the most dangerous way possible!"

Thorin gazed coldly at his daughter. "That's not a way to speak about any of your brothers."

Rhianaye bit her lower lip. "He almost killed..."

Thorin raised his hand in authority and Rhianaye froze. "No matter what happened, that's not the proper way to address your brothers. Either Órin or Thrárin. Be as respectful of them, as they are of you." He warned.

Rhianaye met her father's eyes. "How are they respectful when they are trying to blow up my friends!"

Thrárin intervened. "Órin took it upon himself to protect you from any suitors, that's all that happened. He's too young to control his ferocity sometimes. He over reacted, but that doesn't mean he is not respecting you. It's quite the opposite! He was trying to protect you. He did it the wrong way, but what matters is that his intent was honourable!"

Rhianaye humphed and crossed her arms. "I really cannot see it from your point of view, I am sorry!" She sounded austere.

Thorin tilted his head. "The way Thrárin is speaking to you is not disrespectful. He is only trying to make you understand and your anger right now is blinding you."

Rhianaye's eyes watered. "Instead of punishing them, you are scolding me!"

Thorin raised his brow. "I am explaining that your attitude towards your brother is unacceptable. No matter what differences you might have, you need to lower your voice. Your anger might be justified, but it is not directed properly. Thrárin didn't do anything."

Rhianaye looked up. "I am sure him and Durin probably said various vile things about me and Bjarngrímur."

Thorin exhaled and looked at Thrárin. "Is your sister right?"

Thrárin hesitated again and remained silent.

Rhianaye pointed at him. "His silence speaks volumes."

Eilin shook her head. "Then allow your silence to speak those volumes and stop interrupting."

Rhianaye crossed her arms and her beautiful green eyes engaged her mother's. "I am sorry mom." She said feeling at the end of her tether.

Thorin looked at his son's big azure eyes. "Son?" He insisted.

Thrárin pressed his lips and looked at his boots. "We joked a little bit about how much Bjarngrímur was circlinga around our sister like a lost puppy. I joked that he was going to ask to woo her soon enough and Durin said solemnly that she is too young for something like that and he wished Bjarngrímur and all his charm would somehow disappear. I suppose Órin heard that and tried to make it a reality without understanding the consequences."

Rhianaye's nose flared and she looked at Thrárin. "What the hell have you been saying behind my back?"

Thrárin's eyes thinned. "We are your brothers! We have the responsibility to keep your safe and test all your suitors..."

Rhianaye spoke over him. "Friends not suitors!"

Thrárin tilted his head. "Friends whatever. It is our job to keep an eye out for anyone who comes close to you! Even worthy men like Bjarngrímur, who also happens to be Durin's best friend!"

Rhianaye huffed and looked away.

Thorin took several moments to speak. "Órin shall be punished."

Thrárin looked up. "No dad. He thought he was protecting Rhianaye."

Thorin raised his hand at him. "Nevertheless I do appreciate that all your boys are looking out for your sister despite at your inappropriate manners sometimes."

Rhianaye crossed her arms and her foot began playing nervously.

Thorin looked at her. "It seems though that your over protectiveness suffocates Rhianaye and that is something that I can understand."

Rhianaye looked at her dad sharply. "You do?"

Thorin titled his head. "I suffocated Dis on more than one occasion. She actually hated me for it, but you know what Gem?"

Rhianaye's gaze mellowed and she uncrossed her arms. "What?"

Thorin smiled. "Whatever I did, it was because I loved my sister. I didn't judge her needs properly, but I wanted to protect her without realising that I was also destroying everything she loved."

Rhianaye's eyes burned with tears and she gave Thrárin a regretful gaze. "Is that what you are trying to do?"

Thrárin crossed his arms and looked at his boots. "We acted like idiots in front of Órin who is too young to understand what was happening and too ferocious in his reactions. I am sorry Rhianaye."

Rhianaye wiped her cheeks from a few stray tears. "You wanted to protect me from Bjarngrímur?"

Thrárin gazed at her firmly. "I know you are friends, but I worry and so does Durin. Especially him..."

Rhianaye sighed and looked at her palm as she tried to stop her tears.

Thorin raised his brow at Eilin who smiled softly. Then he turned to his daughter again. "You are young, fierce and independent. A mighty warrior princess in the making, but that won't stop your brothers from worrying about you. Especially now that you are growing older and more beautiful by the day."

Rhianaye sniffled.

Eilin approached her daughter and picked up her long curly black hair and placed them above her shoulders carefully. Then she cupped her cheek lovingly. "You are so beautiful. You will have so many suitors in the future. Your brothers recognise both that quality in you and fear what will happen later on. They are eager to protect you and one cannot remain unmoved especially by Órin's tries, who despite his young age proved that he'd go to great lengths to keep you safe."

Rhianaye's lips cracked a ghostly smile. "He did, didn't he...the little rascal."

Thorin crossed his arms patiently and looked at his wife.

"He did the wrong thing, but for the right reasons. Bjarngrímur is an amazing young man who both me and your father appreciate deeply, but he won't be the only one hoping to catch your eye in the future." Eilin said, but Rhianaye talked over her.

"You think he tries to do that now?" Her eyes grew wide and she grasped her mom's hands.

Eilin smirked. "I am quite sure of it, but it's too soon, you hear me?" She raised her brow.

Rhianaye's cheeks caught fire and Thorin's brow lifted an inch more.

"Therefore with all this male interest in you already, how can you expect your brothers to remain idle?" Eilin smiled at her daughter and caressed her cheek gently.

Rhianaye exhaled. "You had to go and give me three of them. Now what am I ever going to do with all of them?" She glared at Thrárin.

Eilin pressed her lips. "You will allow them to protect you and if you want to make them understand that you appreciate the friendship of a boy then you speak to them gently and with patience."

Rhianaye frowned. "Even now that they almost killed him?"

Eilin looked at her tall ginger son. "Thrárin didn't do it and neither did Durin. As for Órin ...remember what we said?"

Rhianaye sighed and rubbed her mom's hand tenderly. "Wrong way, right reasons..."

Eilin nodded. "He is too young, he acted foolishly. Let your dad take care of that for you, alright?"

Rhianaye raised her shy eyes to her father and gave him a timid smile. "Okay."

Thorin looked at her with austerity. "You owe someone an apology."

Rhianaye rolled her eyes and huffed in defeat. Then she released her mom's hand and turned to her brother. She gazed at him for several moments. "I am sorry, bear."

Thrárin's lips curled up. "Yeah, I guess I am sorry too."

Rhianaye nibbled her bottom lip for a few moments. "I will try not to curse you too much in the future."

Thrárin huffed. "I'll try not to bother you and Bjarngrímur too much."

Rhianaye offered him a gentle smile and then opened up her arms. "Care for a hug?"

Thrárin's shoulder deflated and he uncrossed his arms. Then he dragged himself up to his sister and gave her a half hearted hug. "Is that enough? I hate hugs, honestly."

Thorin and Eilin exchanged a knowing glance before the Queen spoke. "Will you come with me to the hot springs Rhianaye? I am in dire need of a bath and so are you." She pointed at her daughter's dress who had bloody spots from the exploding hog.

Rhianaye sniffed herself and made a disgusted grimace. "Sure mom."

Eilin took her daughter's hand and led her away. until Thorin's voice stopped them. "When you finish you have one more apology to offer."

Rhianaye exhaled and looked at her mom. "Will Órin ask forgiveness too from Bjarngrímur?"

Thorin crossed his arms. "Indubitably."

Rhianaye turned and looked at her imposing father above her shoulder. Then unable to stop herself she released her mom's hand and run up to him. She buried herself in his arms not minding all the sweat that covered his skin. "Thank you daddy and forgive me for acting so erratically."

Thorin closed his eyes and wrapped his large hand behind her head. He drew her in and gave a tender kiss on the top of her head. "You will be pursued mercilessly Gem. Allow your brothers to protect you, because I cannot be everywhere all the time and I always worry about you."

Eilin smiled sweetly. "You don't want anyone to steal away your precious Little Gem?"

Thorin gazed at his wife knowingly from the top of Rhianaye's head and his heart skirted. "No."

Eilin's smile brightened. "But someone will in the end."

Thorin's lips curled up. "I know love." -Then he drew back and looked at the beautiful green eyes of his daughter and at her enchanting face- "Go with your mom petal."

Rhianaye stood on her toes and planted a firm kiss on his cheek. "Love you daddy."

"Love you too precious." He said with a smile as she hopscotched and took Eilin's hand.

Mom and daughter got lost into the darkness behind the archway and Thorin exhaled silently. Then he looked his proud son for a few moments.

Thrárin's lips turned down.

"Why the long face?" Thorin frowned.

"You'll bash me for what happened with Rhianaye, won't you?" Thrárin said and looked at his boots.

Thorin's mouth formed a gentle smile and he beckoned his son closer. "Actually I will congratulate you, but I will ask you to refrain from using dynamite next time, alright?"

Thrárin looked up sharply and came above the anvil. "What?"

"Your job is to protect your sister and you did well my boy." Thorin said calmly.

Thrárin's heart skipped a beat. "I did?"

Thorin picked up the sword and ran his palm upon it's smooth surface. "You were composed, relatively calm despite the circumstances and tried to reason with the unreasonable. You made me very proud today."

Thrárin's mouth broke into a proud smile. "Thanks dad..."

Thorin examined his boy for several calm moments and then showed him Narsil. "Look at this blade."

Thrárin did so.

"Are you satisfied with it?" Thorin asked and scratched Thror's neck absently who came and stood next to him.

Thrárin pulled it away from his father's hand and surveyed it. "I think it could use a little more hammering in this part" -he pointed at a specific place- "and it could benefit from the wheel more."

Thorin smirked satisfied. "Very good. Your training is starting to pay off. Pick up the hammer."

Thrárin placed his bow and arrows down and did as his father told him. "You'll let me forge it?"

Thorin gazed at his son thoughtfully for a few moments. "Most certainly."

Thrárin felt his heart racing. "It looks very old and very important."

Thorin took the sword and placed it into the fire with a bare hand that was way too used to the heat. "You are right on both counts. This is an heirloom of your mother's family. The mighty Telchar has forged it. It is named Narsil and it is the sword that belongs to Isildur's heir. I will let you work on it while I go find your brothers to have a talk with them."

Thrárin's face paled. "Dad I don't want to mess with Narsil, no." He said abhorred and made to stand up.

Thorin remained calm. "Pick up the cloth." -He commanded and Thrárin did so- "You are proving to be an admirably skilful sword smith for your age. Much better than Durin. If I feel secure enough to allow you to trial yourself against this mighty sword, then you must feel assured enough to test your skills. There isn't anyone else I'd trust with it."

Thrárin's chest filled both with pride and fear. "I'll try, but what if I break it?"

Thorin brought over the red hot blade and placed it on the anvil. "You won't."

Thrárin used the cloth to hold the handle when his dad's naked hand pulled away. "What if I mess up your impeccable work?"

Thorin cleared his hand with a dirty cloth. "You won't."

Thrárin's throat squeezed as his heart filled up with emotions he couldn't put a name on. His eyes fell on the scars in the palms of his father. "Thank you for trusting me dad. It means a lot."

Thorin gave him a thoughtful smile. "You are the smith of our family my boy. You have great talent. Most probably inherited more by your forefather Telchar and much less from me."

Thrárin frowned and with renewed courage began hitting the blade carefully with his hammer. "I will try not to let you down." He said with determination and concentrated again on his work.

Thorin observed him silently for a few moments before turning away. "I know you won't my boy."

Thrárin kept on working on the blade as Thorin was wearing his tunic, but after a few throws of the hammer he stopped and nibbled on his lower lip. His red long wavy hair had escaped the braid and were covering part of his cheeks and temple. His azure eyes looked at his father behind those reddish locks. "Can I ask you something?"

Thorin straightened his garment and came over. "Sure."

Thrárin hesitated for a few moments. "How come your hands are not getting sizzled when you are holding the burning blade unprotected?"

Thorin's lips twisted. "Too many years of forging. My hands have gotten rough and desensitised."

Thrárin looked at Thorin's palms again thoughtfully. "Those scars helped them become harder?"

Thorin raised his hands and looked at them. "Those scars helped everything on me become softer..."

Thrárin rested his hammer next to the sword. "How did you get those dad?"

Thorin raised his brow.

Thrárin hurried to explain. "I mean I know practically everything about all the scars on your body and especially about the one which killed you, but you have always avoided to talk about your scarred palms."

Thorin remained calmly silent.

Thrárin pressed his lips. "If you find me old enough to trust me with the protection of my sister, or the forging of a legendary sword, then maybe I am old enough to learn how you earned those." He pointed at Thorin's hands.

Thorin's lips ghosted a sad smile. "I think you are old enough to know, yes."

Thrárin straightened with expectancy.

Thorin's azure eyes burrowed into his son's identical eyes. "I earned them the day I thought I lost my battle with life forever."

Thrárin's eyes flickered with awe. "Up in Ravenhill torn in two by the Azog's filthy blade?"

Thorin leaned over and clasped his son's shoulder. "No, the day I thought I lost your mom forever."

Thrárin's brows wrinkled and his lips parted.

Thorin smirked and walked to the archway. He paused and then looked above his shoulder. "We will carve the runes of this sword together when I finish with your brothers."

Thrárin's face lit up. "Alright dad..."

Thorin tilted his head elegantly and left Thrárin alone to battle against the Narsil, knowing that he had to prove himself worthy to his father and to his great great great grandfather, the legendary Telchar.

* * *

Durin crossed his arms and scrutinised his youngest brother. "Come down." He said calmly.

Órin gripped the tall branch hard between his strong thighs. "No!" He rebuked.

Durin raised his brow. "I won't beg you forever."

"I am not coming down so you can thrash me! No!" Órin spat and then crossed his arms stubbornly.

Durin looked at his brother unfavourably. "Have I thrashed you many times?"

Órin huffed. "Once too many!"

Lis leaned on her bow and clicked her tongue. "You want me to bring him down?"

Durin looked at her sideways. She had grown up to be a rather impressive dwarrowdam, with a strong body and long curly hair down to her waist that she always pulled up in a tight ponytail. She was one of Dwalin's fiercest young soldiers and there were few things that could stop her either on the field or with the mighty royal siblings who always caused a racket for one reason or the other. As Durin grew older and as their ages were apart only by sixteen years, the prince had began finding in her not only a very capable adversary in training, but also a rather solid friend with whom he could share a lot of things, if not the basic brass male camaraderie he shared with Bjarngrímur. "How?" He frowned down at her.

Lis raised her brow. "I'll stone him down."

Durin snorted and shook his head. "You are absolutely ruthless."

Lis' lips turned in a smug side smile. "Anything to make your life easier."

Durin sighed. "Tempting offer, but if dad sees this little rat all bloody he is going to thrash me instead, so never mind."

Lis tilted her head. "I can say I did it without you knowing."

Durin looked down at her with renewed appreciation. "You know I love your loyalty, but that is taking it a step too far. I don't want you to get in trouble for me."

Lis sighed and pressed her lips. "I have no problem taking on the heat for you."

Durin scrounged his lips and offered her a side glance. "Take the heat in the battle field, not with this rascal. I'll bring him down one way or the other."

Lis inhaled patiently and looked at the smoking carriage that was plastered with bloody hog pieces. "Truth be told Bjarngrímur was solemnly lucky today."

Durin gave her an absent nod. "This little devil overdid it."

Lis raised her brow. "Even though it was you and Thrárin who got him going, by saying how flirty Bjarngrímur was becoming with your sister."

Durin looked at her annoyed. "I don't need your judgement in this particular subject, girl."

Lis rolled her eyes at the side. "As you command Sir."

Durin placed his hands on his waist and glared at her. "Neither your cold shoulder."

Lis faced him fully. "You don't want my help with him, nor my judgement. What do you want then?"

Durin gave her the once over and sighed. "Silent company would do well for now."

Lis closed her eyes and bowed her head slightly. "Very well..."

Durin raised his hand at her angrily. "Don't you dare say Sir!"

Lis' lips cracked a smile.

Durin's mouth formed a soft smile. "That's better."

Lis opened up her eyes and gazed at him slyly. "So what are we going to do with that monkey up there, hanging on for dear life?"

"If you should know I am not hanging for dear life up here! I am rather comfortable!" Órin spat.

"Eavesdropping much?" Durin raised his finger at him.

"I am going to even drop as much as I like! You cannot tell me what to do! You're not dad!" Órin grumbled.

Lis covered her mouth and began chuckling and Durin snorted.

"Why is she laughing at me. Shut up Lis!" Órin yelled.

Durin lost his laughter instantly. "Don't you dare talk to her this way you tiny troll's snot!"

Órin brow wrinkled. "Hey that's not fair!"

Lis grabbed Durin's muscular forearm and pressed it tightly. "Oh, leave the kid alone, I know he doesn't mean it. He must be scared after everything that happened."

Órin crossed his arms again and his lip pouted stubbornly. "I am not!"

Durin tilted his head. "Come down and I won't thrash you I promise."

Órin gritted his teeth. "You chased me all over the valley to get me!"

Durin cupped his forehead. "Because I was mad at you."

Órin pointed at him and looked at Lis. "See? What did I say? He wants to beat me up!"

"I was mad before, I am not mad anymore. Come down and we can discuss this. If dad finds out that you are hiding up in that tree so many feet above ground he is going to beat both of us up you moth-eaten sissy!" Durin grumbled angrily.

Órin grabbed the tree branch and frowned deeply. "Hey that's not fair!" He said again.

Durin shook his head. "I honestly am not mad at you anymore Órin. Come down. Whatever happened is over. Rhianaye has already told dad, do you think we can keep this a secret? You blew up a whole carriage, a hog and with them almost my best friend. You went too far this time and we cannot bury this under the carpet. You need to take on the heat like a man."

Órin gritted his teeth and his black hair covered his face. His hazel eyes shown angrily at his brother. "I am a man!"

Durin raised his brow. "If you are, then come down and face this with me. We need to talk with dad and you need to ask forgiveness from Rhianaye and from Bjarngrímur. He is Lord Bjarki's son you babbling pestie! You didn't try to blow up someone unimportant, but the son of one of dad's best friends!"

Órin's lips began trembling and a few tears escaped his eyes. "I know.." he whispered and he almost lost his balance on the branch.

Both Durin and Lis tensed. They got prepared to catch him.

"What are you going to do now? Get into crying, loose your grip and fall to your death? Why are you doing this to me for Mahal's holy beard? What am I going to tell dad if you break your neck? What did I ever do to deserve this?" Durin spat and his nose flared.

Lis snorted. "He is your nightmare, isn't he?"

Durin gave her an eloquent look and opened up his arms ready to catch his little brother who was sniffling and wavering back and forth. "You can say that again." -Then he turned to Órin- "Come down, I swear I won't do anything to you. We will go to dad and discuss this like two men and then we will go find Rhianaye and Bjarngrímur, okay?"

Órin wiped his nose that was running and tried to clear his face from his hair. His body jerked and Lis cupped her mouth and screeched, but thankfully Órin's thighs gripped once more around the bark tightly. He looked fearfully down at his intimidating tall and very imposing brother who looked bewildered out of his mind at that moment. "You promise you won't hit me?"

Durin shook his head. "I won't, now come down please."

Órin covered his eyes and his sniffling turned into sobs. "How about daaaaad?" He wailed.

Durin frowned. "Dad won't thrash you either."

"Prooooomiseeeee?" Órin bellowed.

Durin felt the colour draining from his face. "I cannot promise that you rickety pixie! I am not dad!"

Órin kicked and he almost fell. "Then I am not coming down!" He yelled.

Lis cried and got ready. "I was joking when I said I'd knock you out of that branch with a stone. Come down please, you are killing me with all these shenanigans."

Órin moved dangerously again and Durin paled even more. "Not unless Durin promises that dad won't thraaaaaash me!" he hollered. His sobs were so strong they echoed all over the valley.

The guards who were close by Durin's company were looking bewildered at the royal siblings not knowing what to do.

That is when the heavy voice of Thorin grounded all the tension with only a few words. "I am not going to thrash you. Come down."

Órin froze and looked Behind his fingers at his father.

Lis cupped her forehead and drew back in relief and Durin sighed deeply and rolled his eyes. "Thank heavens you came."

"You promise daddy?" Órin stuttered.

Thorin crossed his arms and gazed patiently at his boy. "I promise. How in the name of Mahal did you climb up this high?" He looked at the intimidating tree which was easily the highest one of the River forest.

Órin pulled his hands away from his flustered face and grinned down to his father, but almost lost his balance again. Lis and Durin jerked forth to catch him, Thorin remained totally impassive. "It was easy! I climbed up all these branches."

Thorin raised his brow. "It was easy to go up, but is it as easy to come down?"

Órin nodded eagerly. "Sure thing!"

Thorin lips curled down. "No surely it's not."

Órin frowned. "You want to see me do it?!"

Thorin raised his brow. "I am sure you cannot do it."

Órin exhaled a whole bout of anger through his nostrils. "Wait! You'll see how fast I can do it!"

Durin gritted his teeth. "Not fast you fool! Do it slowly!"

Órin though didn't listen to his older brother. He began climbing down as quickly and as deftly as he climbed up and soon enough he was standing in front of his imposing father who hadn't moved an inch. "See?!" He raised his hands and took a deep bow.

Thorin's lips cracked a small smile of pride. "You are very well trained on climbing as it seems."

Órin puffed up with pride.

"Not very well trained in handling dynamite though." Thorin's voice turned stern.

Órin lost all the self assurance from his countenance and looked at his older brother, worried.

Durin crossed his arms.

Thorin looked at him thoughtfully for several tense moments. "Rhianaye told me what happened."

Órin lunged and grabbed his father's forearms. "I swear dad I didn't want to blow the carriage sky high. I just wanted to rock it a little bit in order to scare Rhianaye and her boyfriend! He was almost ready to kiss her you know and you always say we need to protect her."

Thorin exhaled patiently and came down to one knee in front of his son. He cleared some sweaty black locks away from his face that was the perfect conjunction of him and Eilin, not only in colours, but also in personality and mannerisms. "Do you understand that you almost killed Bjarngrímur?"

Órin's eyes instantly overflowed with tears. "I didn't want to hurt him dad, I swear. Just to scare him away from my sister!" -Then he turned angrily at Durin- "Besides him and Thrárin said that he was dangerously close to her!"

Thorin looked at the hands of his son and clasped them in his large ones. "I understand that you tried to act honourably towards Rhianaye, but what you did was not well thought of and rather dangerous."

Órin nodded and averted his eyes. "I know, I am sorry daaaaaad!" He whimpered and then fell into Thorin's arm with such despair that the King's eyes closed down.

He enveloped his boy tightly and caressed the back of his quivering head. "Calm down son."

As Órin felt the protection that his father's hands always offered him, he allowed himself to empty all his fear without any restraints and ended up crying hysterically in Thorin's arms.

Durin sighed deeply. "I think Órin got more scared of that explosion than Bjarngrímur to be honest. He didn't even want to come face you, Rhianaye dragged him."

Thorin looked at his oldest son with a soft smile on his lips. "I know" -Then he looked down at the his youngest son and caressed his head and cheek softly- "We all know how fierce and uncontrollable you can become Órin. Whilst those qualities of yours will be highly deplorable in the battle field and will be solemnly appreciated by your brothers, at moments such as these they can become dangerous. You need to promise me that you will try not to act spontaneously from now on."

Órin who was proving to be much larger than any of his brothers and who would one day surpass his father in height and strength, leaned his head on his father's shoulder and began playing with his long beard braid. "What is spontanesous?"

"When your heart tells you to do something without your mind participating at all." Thorin's fingers run through Órin's thick black hair.

"I get that a lot." Órin admitted as his sobs began to slowly die down. Still his body was shaking too much for comfort.

"When you feel inclined to do something, please discuss it first with Durin and Thrárin. If they cannot assist you, then search for your mother or me." Thorin said calmly.

Órin's sobs became mere sniffles as he nodded. "If mommy is not available, can I stop you even if you are in a meeting?"

Thorin kissed his smooth cheek that had just began getting some soft stubble. "We need to get your spontaneity under control, therefore yes. Stop me even if I am in the most important meeting for any of our seven kingdoms."

Órin sighed and buried his head on his dad's neck. "I blew up the hog..." he said in a sniffling afterthought.

Durin snorted and looked at Lis thoroughly amused. She reciprocated the smile.

"Well it was dead already so no harm done, but you do owe an apology to your sister and to her friend." Thorin's voice turned slightly stern.

Órin nodded fiercely. "I will do it dad immediately. Is mommy mad at me too?"

Thorin shook his head and kissed Órin's forehead. He stood up and Órin's legs wrapped around his waist. "No, mom isn't mad at anyone. Don't worry. Just make sure you don't blow up anymore hogs and you don't play with Balin's dynamite unattended."

Órin closed his eyes and threw his arms around Thorin's shoulders. "I won't, I promise!" He said quietly and a delayed shudder of relief rushed through his body.

Thorin turned to the guards. "Clean up this mess and inform Lord Bjarki that his destroyed carriage will be replaced by one of the royal ones." He said coldly.

The royal guards bowed and left to take care of the destroyed carriage.

Thorin turned to Lis. "Go Lis, we won't need you for the rest of the day."

Lis gave Durin a rather eloquent look that made Thorin's brow cock, but the prince didn't notice as he was checking his boots thoughtfully. Lis bowed to all respectfully. "Your majesty..." -She said and then turned to Durin and lowered her head even more- "My prince."

Durin gave her a fleeting look and an abstract smile. "Thanks for today."

"My pleasure as always." Lis said firmly and then left them.

Thorin sighed and caressed Órin's sweaty neck. Then his eyes fell to his oldest son who was almost the same height as Thorin. His long black braid lay loose above his shoulder and his beautiful azure eyes were now checking on the leather bands on his muscular forearms. Thorin felt his heart swelling with pride. "What's the plans for today?"

Durin looked up. "Apart from asking your forgiveness about all this mess?" He asked cleverly.

Thorin's lips curled up. "Apart from that."

Durin flicked his shoulders. "I've been training since morning and passed the rest of the day trying to convince my bane to come down from the tree. I'd like to rest for a while if that's okay with you."

Thorin looked at the two horses he had brought up from the stables. "You want to ride with me?"

Durin's countenanced glimmered. "Sure!" He exclaimed.

Thorin nodded above his shoulder. "Pick your horse and take your brother on it. Are you up for the challenge?"

Órin looked up partially dazed and almost half asleep as Thorin handed him to Durin. His oldest son took Órin protectively and smiled at the King. "Of course father. I am always up for a challenge."

Thorin smirked at him and mounted his horse. Durin followed and kept Órin safely tucked in front of him as his father led them down the long road that led past Mirkwood, but he didn't keep on smooth paths. He changed their course and started climbing up Ravenhill fast enough to challenge his mighty son's ability to ride with someone else with him, but also slow enough not to endanger any of his boys. Any doubts he may have had that they were going to manage to follow him, were dispersed when he heard Órin's laughter on Durin's rude comments about how this road was bumpier than their sister's mood sometimes.

When finally Thorin's horse stepped on the frozen river his eyes fell immediately on the spot he vaguely remembered from almost twenty winters ago. The spot where he left his last breath. Durin stopped his horse back at the ruins of Ravenhill. He lowered his brother gently down and clasped his hand. Then he led him and stood exactly above the spot that Thorin's eyes had been drawn to with immense sadness. Órin's heavy boots that were crashing the ice under them as he jumped up and down enthusiastically was what drew Thorin out of that suddenly bleak mood.

"If we make a hole can we try to fish?" Órin asked his brother.

Durin pressed his hand and drew him back in an effort to make him keep still. "I suppose we can try."

Órin turned to Thorin. "Can we dad?!"

Thorin shook his head feeling slightly taken aback. "What?"

Órin pointed at the half broken ice under his feet. "Can we break it in order to catch some fish?"

Thorin's brow darkened and his eyes lifted up to meet Durin's identical stare silently. "Sure you can boy, but allow me a word with your brother."

Durin frowned and released the hand of his brother. His gaze lingered heavy upon the ice and he wavered with indecision.

Thorin alighted and walked next to his son. "Today you acted very responsibly towards both your sister and your little brother."

Durin remained silently vigilant of this sudden mood shift this place was causing him.

"You are growing up son...quickly. More quickly than I would have ever chosen." Thorin's voice turned whistful.

Durin looked at his dad with a gentle smile. "Does that bother you?"

Thorin removed his heavy gaze from the horizon and gifted his son with it's beauty. "One day soon you will come to your own. I can see you blossoming into a mighty warrior and I admire you, but I also worry. I fear the future sometimes, I cannot deny it. The darkness that is rising in the east will try to destroy you, but I will stand in its way like I have done many times in the past. I just hope I am strong enough when the time comes and not to old to lift my sword."

Durin frowned. "What lays in the future that scares you so much?"

Thorin touched Durin's shoulder and pulled his sword. He placed it in his son’s hand and lifted it up from the ground, pointing it towards the horizon. "Look over yonder..." her urged his son.

Durin's fingers tightened around the dragon tooth.

"Aren't those faded mountain ranges beautiful?" Thorin continued.

Durin felt his throat drying out. "Yes." He whispered feeling instantly magnetised to that direction. He didn't even feel Órin's hand who grasped his loosely as his youngest brother was hopscotching oblivious of the heaviness that had fell between father and son.

"One day long ago I was looking at the outline of the Lonely Mountain with the same yearning you are looking at those ranges right now." Thorin muttered.

Durin felt his eyes burning and a hand twisted in his stomach. He turned his beautiful azure eyes towards Erebor's valley. His demeanour shadowed.

Thorin pulled his hand away from Orcist, allowing his son to wield it. "Turn your head away from the past and gaze bravely at the future."

Durin's brow clouded.

"When I swore to regain our homeland I knew I had to make great sacrifices." Thorin crossed his arms calmly.

Durin inhaled deeply as tears began burning the edge of his eyes.

"I was ready to die in order to take back my Mountain and so I did." Thorin added and looked at his son with eyes that betrayed black dread, but also profound pride.

A single tear escaped Durin's eye. He didn't speak, but his hand twisted protectively around his father's sword. His feet tingled above the spot that Thorin had left his last breath two decades ago.

"You feel that yearning too, don't you?" Thorin whispered.

Durin nodded gently. "It is choking me." He admitted with a defeated voice.

Thorin closed his eyes and inclined his head. "It is the call of your heart. My heart was pointing me to Erebor, yours will point you to the Dwarrowdelf."

Another tear rolled down Durin's gorgeous face. "My Dwarrowdelf." He murmured.

Thorin nodded softly. "One day you shall reclaim it my boy and I hope I can march proudly by your side and listen to your ferocious battle cry that will set forth our mighty army. I wish to be alive in order to see you standing next to Mirrormere again, gazing at the stars in it's smooth surface."

Durin turned to his father and in his azure eyes there was a consuming passion burning. "I shall do it, lest I die..."

It was Thorin's turn to get teary. "I know my son."

A heavy silence drew between father and son for a long time before Durin managed to settle down the blood of war that erupted with unbearable totality in his veins upon his father's insightful words. As for the darkness that lay dormant in the east, it was not aware that the formidable eyes of Erebor had just turned towards Moria and they would remain upon those mountain ranges, till they could be reclaimed by Thorin Oakenshield's indomitable heir.

It was the King who broke the weighty silence. "Do you think you can make an even hole in this ice for your brother?"

Durin's mouth formed a smile of relief. "I am sure I can."

Órin clapped his hands and embraced his father's waist tightly. "We are going to fish! We are going to fish!" He sang happily. Thorin allowed his boys to try their strength against the hard ice and a shudder shook his body when he remembered how the same sword tore through this thick ice after piercing the body of the pale orc twenty winters ago. He crossed his arms and looked at his sons proudly. Back then, in this very spot, life had left his body and everything was over.

Whilst now...

He felt consoled by the knowledge that his older son would become the legend that was going to reclaim the last Dwarven stronghold in Middle Earth and that his rulership from that Dwarrowdelf would create a legacy that would be unprecedented. He smiled, feeling blessed, by the knowledge that the ferocity, large size and strength of his younger son would provide Durin the Seventh with a soldier few would dare stand up against and that Orin’s love for his older brother would show the world what true loyalty was in times of danger. He felt quietened by the knowledge that his calm and forever collected middle son who was at his anvil forging the famous Narsil was going to stand next to Durin prudently silent, but with immense wisdom and skillful diplomacy when the time came. He knew that his beautiful daughter was going to become a ferocious warrior princess that would claim many hearts all over Middle Earth despite her stubbornness which was indubitably passed down to her by him. There was such a strong life force surrounding him which emanated from his children and his beautiful wife and it was enough to sustain him for many centuries to come. He knew that now he didn't feel life leaving him anymore, but life clinging onto him with more passion and more fervour than he had ever felt before. He knew those far away ranges of Ered Mithrin were not going to claim his family, but his family was going to claim them and they were going to be successful.

He felt consoled in the knowledge that his story...this story didn't have an ending. It simply reached a new beginning and that was the best place to be.

That was the best place his family, a family he never thought he would be blessed to have, could ever be...

* * *

**Every end has a new beginning...even if it's only in your mind**

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to solemnly thank: Memo, LittleNori, StanleyG2701, Becca, Priya, Monsan, Melissa, Magayla, DEDEDOTTI, Strryder57 and margarites. Most of your for the regular comments that fed me with courage to continue which was so valuable you cannot even imagine. Especially when at times you feel like you are addressing a wall, just knowing that a few people are on this journey with you is so so so important. Thank you all for going through the roughness of the first chapters (yes, I re read some and oh, dear were they awful. They need editing, which I will do when I get a pc again because mine is dead). So thank you for being patient through the roughness of those chapters and remaining with me till the end. I hope I can write soon a sequel, or some sort story with Thorin’s and Eilin’s children. That would be interesting to me.  
> For Margarites, she wrote an amazing review that I got in my mail and cannot find online anywhere, so I will address it here: “I hope you didn’t delete it because it was insightful with constructive criticism which I deeply appreciate. Glad you enjoyed how I wrote Thorin and thank you for being patient through the part you disliked with Eilin just in order to gush over our favourite King...! Thank you *.*” 
> 
> All my love to all those who read this. See you soon, I hope *.*


	77. Note

Because some very dedicated readers of this story asked for a sequel, I am trying my hand out on one. For those who might be interested this is the link:  
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17272553/chapters/40618742  
Thank you *.*


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